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The Guys in the Yellow Shirts

She walked outside early that day to get a head start on the heat. There was a lot to do – way more than she or her husband was capable of doing in a day. And before long the temperature would be in the high 80’s making it even harder to work.

She looked at her yard.

Several large trees had been blown down, roots pulled up out of the ground leaving large holes. Other trees with broken trunks were lying across the sidewalk. A set of bare trees with broken branches were leaning towards their neighbor’s house. There were many large branches, wooden fence boards, and shingles scattered across the yard. And leaves everywhere!

She looked at her tools. One hand saw. One large pair of shears. One smaller hand shears for pruning. One wheelbarrow. A rake. And a shovel.

How in the world would these simple tools help them clear the huge mess? Sighing with resolve, she knew if she didn’t get started, the mess would only get worse as the grass grew to cover shingles and nails and other potentially dangerous things. She decided to start with the fence boards. They wouldn’t need any tools and she could drag them to the street. At least most of them. Some were still attached in large sections and would need to be cut into smaller pieces before she could move them.

As she dragged the fence pieces, her husband got the hand saw and began sawing the fallen branches into more manageable sizes, pulling them to the street and tossing them into a separate pile to cooperate with the city’s request to keep the debris sorted for easier removal later.

They worked in silence for about an hour, then her husband called to her. “Can you come help?”

“What do you need?” she called back as she stopped dragging a board to wipe the sweat from her face.

“Help me get the rest of this branch to the street.”

She carefully walked over to him, looked at the branch,

“You think we can move this?”

“I think so.”

“OK. Let’s try.”

They each got a good hand hold on the branch and began dragging it. Or at least attempted to. The branch was heavier than they thought and no matter how hard they strained, they could only move it an inch or two at a time.

“Could you use some help?” came a man’s voice from the direction of the street.

They looked up, startled, to see a man in a yellow shirt standing outside a car parked next to their growing pile of debris, smiling at them. On his shirt were the words “Helping Hands”.

“We sure could,” answered her husband. “Do you have a chain saw?”

“We have lots of chain saws.”

“Yeah,” the man answered, pointing to a long line of cars behind his. “We’re all from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and we’re here to help.”

She stared in disbelief. There must have been at least half a dozen cars and trucks, all filled with people in yellow shirts who were jumping out, picking up a variety of tools, and heading for her yard.

They quickly got to work sawing and dragging and chopping. She watched for a little while then went inside to hide her tears but continued to watch them work from an upstairs window. She was awed at their efficiency and cheerfulness as they worked.

After awhile she rejoined her husband in the yard.

“This is a miracle,” he told her. “This is nothing short of a real miracle.”

She nodded agreement as the leader of the group brought over a slice of a tree.

“We like to leave a little something to the people we help,” he said as he handed them a slice of the large uprooted oak tree that used to stand in the middle of the yard.

Tears in their eyes, she and her husband explained how they had bought this oak tree when it was tiny and half dead from a hardware store and had enjoyed watching it grow over the years. She was surprised at how much comfort holding this small slice of the tree brought her.

Within an hour, her yard was clear of all the fences, branches and tree trunks they could manage. The leader approached them again. “Sorry we couldn’t do the set of leaning trees or the broken giant pine tree. You’ll probably need to hire a licensed contractor for those,” he apologized.

“No, no, no!” they said. “You don’t need to apologize! You’ve done enough! More than enough!”

A group photo was taken, hugs were exchanged, and then just as quickly as they had arrived, the group of yellow shirted angels left to look for another family to help.

There was still a lot of work to do such as picking up the shingles, searching for nails hidden in the grass, moving landscaping rocks and potted plants away from damaged gardens, and digging up few fence posts that had survived but without all the branches to work around, it would be so much easier and faster to get it done.

Tears slipping down her face, she thanked God for His love and care. She hadn’t asked Him for help with the yard, but He knew what they needed and provided it anyway.

What an amazing group of people!

What an amazing God!

The Unicorn on the Ceiling Fan

She sat back in the recliner thoroughly enjoying the chance to relax in the silence of her daughter’s almost empty house.

She thought about her life the past month – the devastation to her whole town by the strong almost category 5 hurricane, the maze of insurance claims she and her husband were having to navigate, the abundance of contractors wanting them to sign away their benefits, the multitude of needs being posted each day by desperate people, the crowds and long lines at the few stores that had managed to reopen, the mountains of debris along every street, the power lines still laying on the ground in areas where linemen have not yet had a chance to work, the horrendous traffic as residents and volunteers and contractors try to get from place to another, and her growing need to be in more than one place at a time. She wanted to be at home helping her husband deal with all the decisions that had to be made and working towards restoring their home. But just as much she wanted to be here with her daughter with her new baby while her son-in-law was working out of town.

As she thought, her eyes wandered around the room, taking in the drawn shades providing privacy, the assortment of baby furniture, the black and tan dog energetically chewing on a rawhide bone, the small porcelain unicorn sitting on the ceiling fan, the beautiful new teal area rug, the…

WAIT!  Was that what she thought it was?

She looked back at the ceiling fan.

Sure enough, there was a small unicorn sitting right up there just above the revolving blades.

She stared up at it. What was it doing up there? Who would have put it up there? It’s so out of place it was hard to believe that it was actually there. It should be on a shelf, or on a dresser, or even on a window sill. Certainly NOT on a ceiling fan!

And then she thought how much that little unicorn was like answered prayers. We think we know where the answers should be, but many times we will find them in completely startling and unexpected places, often surprising us with God’s sense of humor.

She chuckled to herself as she thought about how amazing her God continued to be. No matter what struggles and decisions she was facing, no matter how bad things looked around her, He always managed to find a way to make her smile. And frequently in the most unlikely places – just like that unicorn on the ceiling fan!

I don’t think I want to do this. It’s too much work.

Yes, it is a lot of work.

What if I don’t do it? What if I just let things stay as they are?

You won’t be happy.

But I can live with it.

Sure. You could if you insisted.

I mean, what’s wrong with living with some damage? It’s easy enough to cover it up.

The problem will still be there.

But if I can’t see it, I can easily ignore it and get on with my life. I don’t have to spend a great amount of time and effort on fixing what I don’t see.

What about the damage you do see?

It’s not THAT bad.

OK, so it does look bad. But I can learn to ignore that too. After all, no one expects everything to be perfect.

It’s not about perfection. Restoring what’s been damaged makes your life so much nicer and more comfortable. And getting to the root of the damage prevents further damage from occurring.

But there’s so much stuff that has to be moved. IMG_20181102_091158658

Yes, there is a lot of stuff that has to be removed.

And it’s soooo much work! And inconvenient and uncomfortable.

Yes, it is. But it will be worth it.

I guess you’re right.

I always am.

So, who do I get to do the restoration?

How can you fix all those things?

I have my ways.

Are you miraculously going to fix everything? Even the roof and siding?

Roof and siding?

Yeah, that’s were the most visible damage is.

That’s not the kind of damage I was talking about.

You’re not talking about the damage to the inside of my house?

What kind of damage are you talking about then?

The damage to the inside of your heart.

I don’t think I want to do this. It’s too much work…

Faith is Believing God. Period.

She absently picked at a scab on her leg as she held one of her old journals and read a conversation about faith she had had with Jesus years ago.

“Jesus, this is still not too clear in my head,” her younger self had written.

What wasn’t too clear? As she was about to turn back a page or two in the journal, she stopped just in time. Her finger was covered in blood! Great, she thought as she put down her journal and picked up a nearby napkin to place over the blood oozing out from the freshly opened wound where she had removed the scab. Holding the napkin in place with one hand, she picked up the journal with the other hand and continued searching for what had not been clear.

Her younger self had been writing about faith and had referenced Hebrews 11:1-6.

She knew that Heb 11:1 started with, “Now faith is…” but couldn’t remember exactly what came next. Something about things not seen.  Feeling that it was important to know the rest, she picked up her phone and opened the Bible app. Suddenly, out of the blue, her nose began dripping.

“What now,” she thought as she removed the napkin from her leg and tore off a clean portion. She shifted uncomfortably on the couch as she blew her nose. Trying to see without her contacts, which she had not yet put in that morning, resulted in an awkward position as she had to hold both the journal and her phone close to her face. And her dog had decided to camp out on her legs restricting even more movement. She tossed the napkin into the small trash can she kept by the couch. Dabbing at her leg with the rest of the napkin revealed that the bleeding had stopped. Good. She threw the rest of the napkin into the trash can and picked up her phone, but before she could start reading, she noticed a growing pain in her left hip and on the left side of her neck. “Oh no,” she thought as she put the phone back down. “It’s like something doesn’t want me to read this.” She pushed the dog off her legs and completely re-positioned herself.

Once comfortable, she picked up the journal and reached for her phone. Again her nose began dripping. “Where is this coming from?” she wondered, exasperation creeping into her thoughts. “I don’t have a cold, no allergies, and I haven’t been crying. So what’s the deal?”

After blowing her nose again, she reached for a notebook and a pen to record Heb 11:1 – but somehow she managed to grab the wrong side of the pen and got ink on her hand. Staring at it in unbelief, she thought, “OK, this is getting crazy.” Determined now to read what she was being distracted from, she picked up her phone, found Heb 11, and began reading.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

She read the following verses about the creation of the world, Abel and Cain, and Enoch. Then she got to verse 6: “and without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”

Was that what her younger self was confused about? Why? It seemed straightforward enough. She put her phone down and picked up the old journal.

“Jesus, this is still not too clear in my head. Please explain it more clearly.”

“Faith is knowing My Father knows best and that He’s in control. And that He can and will do what He says. Faith is not questioning but accepting…”

She thought about how God had been teaching her about believing Him for over a year. Really deep down with no reservations believing Him no matter how things look to her. It was easy to believe Him when everything was going well. But did she still believe Him when things looked as bad as they did now weeks after the category 4 hurricane had ripped through her town? Did she still believe He even existed when everywhere she looked she saw devastation and hurting people and needs that far exceeded her income?

Yes, she did believe. And she chose, moment by moment, to keep believing each time fear, worry, stress, or complaints tried to rise up in her. Although God understood these things, He was not pleased with them because they were evidence of a lack of faith. If she gave in to fear and worry, she would be saying that she didn’t really REALLY believe God was taking care of her. Maybe even that she had no confidence in His ability or desire to take care of her. And if she began to complain, she would be saying she wasn’t happy with His care and didn’t want to accept what He had chosen to allow in her life – like He wasn’t really in charge of everything after all. Instead, as she chose to believe God loved her, was in control of everything, and was taking care of her, she found peace replacing all those stressful emotions. Bottom line? Faith means believing God. And acting like it.

So THAT’s why all the distractions. Someone didn’t want her faith affirmed with a message that was as much for her today as it had been for her all those years ago. Today, when so much of her life seemed to be controlled by someone and something else, she knew He loved her enough to use an old journal to confirm to her that He IS in control and that He IS taking care of her like He had promised. Not only taking care of her basic needs, but also surprising her from time to time with amazing rewards – just because He said He would. Knowing this, she knew she no longer had to focus on her own needs but was free to seek ways to help other people with their needs.

Now that’s faith in action.

red heart on a old opened book ii
Photo by Kaboompics .com on

(NOTE: I did draw a picture to go with this blog, but weird stuff continues to happen that prevents me from getting it from my phone camera to here. Like how I’ve been able to transfer pictures from my phone to my computer using hot spot but can no longer do so as of yesterday when internet was restored on my computer. And yet when I try to use internet, it tells me there’s no connection. And how my phone can get on Facebook just fine, but tells me I have no internet access when I try to get on WordPress so I can’t add the drawing directly from my phone to my blog. But one day, hopefully soon, I WILL get this figured out and be able to add my own drawing!)

God, Why Don’t You Answer?

“There’s a disturbance down south,” they said.

No problem. There’re always disturbances in the tropics, she thought as she went about her normal, everyday activities.

“The disturbance is now a depression,” they said.

That’s fine, she thought. Depressions are nothing. And besides, it’ll probably go towards Texas like so many others. Not likely to come here to Panama City.

“The depression is now a storm named Michael, and will probably hit Northwest Florida as a possible category 1 hurricane. Not too likely, but it might happen,” they said.

Okaaaay, not really a threat, but something to watch, she thought as she took her daily walk around her neighborhood.

“The storm is intensifying. It will hit Northwest Florida as a category 1 hurricane in a few days. Start preparing now,” they said.

Hmmm, she thought. I guess I should pick up loose objects outside to keep them from blowing away. But still no big deal. We’ll probably only get a little bit of wind and some rain, like all those other hurricanes that have come this way.

“Michael is now category 1 with signs of strengthening. Everyone in Northwest Florida should be preparing now. Watch for updates and start making plans in case you need to evacuate,” they said.

Evacuate? No, not for a cat 1 storm. But what if it gets to cat 2 before it gets here? “Lord, should we leave?” she prayed but got no answer.

“Michael is now category 2. Its pressure is dropping signifying that it might possibly strengthen to a category 3 before making landfall somewhere between Pensacola and Apalachicola.  Storm surge will be 4-6 feet. Find out your zone now and listen for mandatory evacuation orders,” they said.

This is getting serious, she thought. Maybe we should leave. “Lord,” she prayed again, “what should we do?” She thought she heard, “leave”, but she wasn’t sure so she asked God to tell her husband the same thing. Her husband, watching the latest update, said, “We’re going to stay. Our house is built to hurricane code. We’ll be fine.” OK, she thought. It wasn’t God.

“Michael is now category 3. There’s nothing out there to slow its growth. Storm surge is now forecasted to be 6-8 feet. Zones A, B, and C are under mandatory evacuation notice. Do not delay. This storm is dangerous. Get out now,” they said.

She quickly looked up her zone. Zone D, but so close to C that part of her backyard was actually in Zone C. Should they leave? Could their house flood? “No, it didn’t flood during the last cat 3 storm, it won’t flood now We’re fine,” her husband said. “God, should we leave?” she prayed again. Again she heard, “Leave” but this time a sense of panic accompanied it. That’s not God, she thought. God doesn’t panic. Besides, if that was really God, why wasn’t her husband getting the same message?

“Michael is approaching category 4. If you can evacuate, you should leave. The storm surge can kill you. The winds will make catastrophic damage and might kill you,” they said.

“Are you leaving?” her daughter texted from two states away.

“No, we’re staying,” she texted back.

“We’ll be fine. We’ll stay in the under-the-stairs closet when it gets bad. Our house is well built.”

“I’ll be a nervous wreck all day,” her daughter texted back. “Be safe!”

“Are you leaving?” her siblings wanted to know.

“No, we’re staying. We’re not in a flood zone and besides, who would take us in with our with 3 small not-housebroken dogs, a larger senior dog who can’t get around well, a grown son with stitches in his leg and his large dog who eats smaller dogs.”

“We’ll take you in,” her brother immediately texted back.

She went to talk to her husband. “Should we leave?” They prayed together, but neither got an answer. Why isn’t God answering us? She couldn’t understand. “God why don’t You answer when we really need to hear from you?”

“We’ll stay,” her husband said. “We’ll be OK.”

She felt at peace about that decision. Peace is of God, she thought, so maybe that’s His answer. She was more relieved than apprehensive because she really didn’t want to leave. Also, once they left town, it might be days if not weeks before the roads were cleared and opened for them to be able to return.

She went to bed and fell asleep quickly but was jarred awake around 1 AM with the shrill alert sound on her phone. She got up and checked the forecast.

“It’s a strong category 4 and will probably be a 4 when it makes landfall. But there is a small chance it can increase to a 5 by landfall,” they said.

Ok, she thought. We might weather a 3 or even a weak 4. But a strong 4/5?? But we decided God said it was OK to stay. Did we get that wrong? Or was that just us because we want to stay?

“I’m leaving,” her son told them as he packed his electronics and dog. “Let me know what you decide.”

Her son leaving? He never panics! And he was so sure just a few hours earlier that staying home would be safer than being on the road with all those other evacuees. Should we go, she and her husband wondered. They prayed again together. Still no answer.

“God, I wish I could just hear your answer clearly. Only You know what will happen to our house.”

In spite of the peace they felt about staying, they decided to leave. They scurried around packing the most important things, not knowing if anything would be left when they returned. As she looked around her house, overwhelmed with the decision of what to take and what would be OK to lose, she ended up taking very little.

Tears streaming down her face, not wanting to leave, she drove north on the now empty road. Beside her were her smallest dog, some blankets and pillows, and her computer. Behind her was her husband with the other two small dogs and the larger senior dog, along with tubs and boxes of important papers, clothing, dog supplies, medicines, and other essential items. Before long the senior dog had a seizure, due to stress, they thought, and she was tempted to turn around. But she didn’t and several hours later they arrived at her brother’s house.

Several hours after that, Hurricane Michael slammed into her home town, with winds just two miles an hour under a Category 5 hurricane.

The following day, she read every Facebook post, watched every hurricane update, trying to get some news on the condition of her neighborhood, especially her home. Was it still standing? So many houses were not. The stress of not knowing was worse than finding out her house was gone, she thought. “God, is our house still standing?” she asked. Again, no answer. Why isn’t He talking to me, she wondered.

The day after that, someone posted a photo of the flood in her neighborhood. As she studied the photo, she stopped. What was that in the background?  She looked closer. It was her house! And it was still standing! Relief flooded her, replacing the stress that had just minutes before filled her. This photo was a gift from God, reminding her that God was always listening even when she couldn’t hear any answers.

Three days after the hurricane hit, she was able to return home. Her house was not only standing, but there was no severe damage and no flooding. If she had stayed, she’d have been fine. So maybe that peace was God’s answer all along, only we didn’t recognize it, she thought. Maybe by not answering, He was allowing us to make the choice, knowing we’d be safe no matter which choice we made.

Bella – Epilogue

Bella spent many days visiting the lake. No matter how often or what time she arrived, she would find God there. And no matter how many questions she asked, He always answered them patiently. Some answers were clear and easy to understand, others were a bit vaguer.

“Why did You tell me You were Pastor Toby when I first met You?”

“If I had told you I was God, what would you have done?”

She thought a moment, then laughed. “I’d have run as fast and as far as I could to get away from You.”

“That’s why. I meet people where they are. I reveal only what they are ready to hear.”

“What is this place? This church that seems bigger on the inside than it appears from the outside?”

“Kind of like spiritual life. From the outside, life with Me often seems small and contained when actually it’s very much the opposite.”

Bella nodded with understanding.

“And why does Your back yard look so different to me than it did to that lady who saw a forest?”

“Because each of you have a totally unique relationship with Me. What you see and experience is based on who you are and how I made you.”

“OK, I can get that. What I can’t understand is how this place can be two things at once. Or more likely thousands of things at once.”

“I’m not bound by your laws of physics. I’m beyond any law.”

“But… thousands??”

“I’m big,” He said with a shrug. “Thousands is nothing to Me.”

“So if You’re that big, how can You take notice of something as small as me?”

“Because of all the things I’ve created, I love you the most.”

Bella smiled. Amazing, she thought, that this God could love her this much. Little did she know how much her God really did love her. That would be revealed to her at another time, when she was ready. For now, she was content to sit His presence, soaking up His love, and learning all she could each day.

The End

Bella stories:

I’m Not Hurt, Not Really Part 1 Part 2

Bella part 6   9  10  11 12  13   14  15   16

Bella – part 18 Meltdown

Bella allowed the music to strengthen her as she reached for the garden door. Taking a deep breath, she slowly let it out trying to calm herself. She had to be clear headed when she found Pastor Toby. It wouldn’t do her any good if she was too scared to say what she wanted, what she needed to say. She took another deep breath, held it, and opened the door.

At first all she saw was the flowers and plants he tended. A mixture of disappointment and relief surged through her. Maybe he wasn’t here after all. But then she saw something move at the end of the row and heard a very quiet chuckle. Pastor Toby! Had he seen her? As if he had heard her thoughts, he called out, “Hi, Bella! So glad you’re here. Come look what I found today.”

Bella walked up to him and looked where he pointed. Next to a tiny, empty chrysalis was IMG_20181005_154120386a brand new butterfly. Wings still drying, the beautiful turquoise and black insect rested on a leaf. Bella stared at the tiny creature, tears filling her eyes as her heart seemed to grow too big to contain. What was going on? She had seen plenty of butterflies before, but none had affected her as this one was doing. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to lose herself in the flood of feelings rising in her.

She tore her eyes from the butterfly and looked at Pastor Toby. “I need to ask you something,” she said.

“I know,” he said, smiling at her. “Let’s do this.”

Now that the moment was here, she didn’t know exactly how to start. Should she be blunt or lead into it more slowly? Not being one to beat around the bush, she asked, “Are you human?”

“Nope,” he answered looking at her with a hint of joyful expectation.

She found looking into his eyes to be as emotional as looking at the butterfly. Tears beginning to stream down her face, she tried to turn away. She did NOT want to cry. She didn’t like to cry and avoided it at all costs. So why was she crying now? It didn’t make any sense. Was he doing something to her? She could hear the music from inside the house getting louder and seemingly to swirl around her. There was something in that music. Something that seemed to reach deep inside her. That’s it! Maybe he was brainwashing her through the music! But the harder she tried to turn away, the more the tears came. She had to do something – anything – to break this.. this… mind control.

“Um… can we go to the lake?” she asked him. “We can talk on the way.” That would get her away from the music, as well as give her a reason to not make eye contact and a chance to regain her composure.

“Sure, whatever makes you feel more comfortable.” He turned and gestured towards the lake, inviting her to take the first step.

Released from his gaze, she started walking quickly towards the lake, hurrying to get out of reach of the music. She noticed he matched her pace, staying right by her side.

“So, you’re not human?” she asked as they walked.

“No, I’m not.”

“Are you here to capture this planet?”

“If by capture you mean take control, yes. I do plan to take control one day.”

Surprised to not only get direct answers for a change, but to be told right out that he planned on taking control, she was speechless. But only for a minute.

“Why?” she burst out. “Why take our planet when you have your own?”

“This is my planet. I’ll just be taking back control of it.”

“Your planet? You used to have control? When did you lose it? How?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you someday. But I think you have a more important question to ask me, don’t you.”

She had to admit he was right. As curious as she was about the control issue, it was a distraction from what she really wanted to know.

“What are you going to do to us? To me?”

“Nothing you don’t want done. But I want to heal you of so many injuries you’ve suffered in your life. I want to make your life better. And I want you to live with me forever.”

“But what if I don’t want to live with you forever?”

“I will never force you. It’s totally our choice.”

“And what if I told you I was going to warn everyone about you? What if I talked to reporters about your plans?”

“That would be awesome!”

Taken aback, totally not expecting that answer, she stopped and looked at him. “You don’t care if I tell the whole world about you?”

“No. In fact, I wish you would. I wish all my children would.”

“Aren’t you afraid of military attacking you and forcing you to leave?”

“No, they can’t do any more than what I allow them. And I’m not going anywhere. I have many people yet to save here.”

“But you’re just one alien. Wait, is Jude… of course he is. So there are only two of you aliens. Against a whole army. And you don’t feel threatened?”

Bella continued walking, trying to make sense of all this. None of her scenarios had even come close to this. Why wasn’t he threatened? Did he think he was more powerful than an entire army? Evidently he did. What kind of alien could be this powerful? A whole ship load of them might feel invincible, but just one or two?

And why did she still feel the song swirling throughout her inner being? She couldn’t really hear it with her ears anymore, but it was like her very soul was reaching out and soaking it in. Her heart felt open and raw, seeking his touch, his presence. And she felt a sense of longing growing in her – longing to be with him no matter where he went. To be with him forever. Just the thought of losing him should the military kill him created a pain so deep she couldn’t bear it. Tears began streaming down her face again as she turned to him.

“What kind of alien are you?”

“Alien?” He laughed. “I never said I was an alien.”

“But you said…”

“I said I wasn’t human.”

“Then… who are you?”

“I’m God.”

“God? Like God-in-the-bible God?”

“I am.”

Just two simple words, but it was enough. All the confusion fled her mind as if a bright light was turned on. For a moment she saw clearly who she stood before. This was the almighty, all powerful God! The Creator of the heavens and the earth! This was GOD!

She fell face down before Him, sobbing and feeling so insignificant and dirty. She was nothing compared to Him.

“Oh, God, I am so sorry. Please forgive me for all my evil thoughts against you.”

“You’re forgiven,” He immediately responded with a voice so gentle and loving that she dared to look up. Then it hit her. This was also the One who had made her – and loved her – and only wanted her love in return. As she looked into His eyes, she felt His love for her totally engulf her. Her heart swelled until she thought it would burst. And she knew beyond a doubt, that there was nowhere she’d rather be than here in His presence. Forever.

“I love You,” she told Him. “I want to be with You forever. I never want to be separated from You even for a moment.”

“That’s totally possible,” He answered. “All you have to do is invite me inside your heart. My Spirit will come and set up dwelling there. And we will never ever be apart again.”

“Yes! Yes! Please come into my heart!”

“Done!” He face lit up with joy so brightly He seemed to glow! Yet she had no trouble seeing His hand reach down to raise her up. Standing next to Him, tears drying on her cheeks, she couldn’t resist hugging Him. As her arms wrapped around Him, His joy enveloped her until she felt like she would burst if she didn’t start dancing or something. So she did! She danced all the way to the pier with Him dancing right beside her. Breathless, she sat down and turned to Him.

“I have some questions…” she began.

And He laughed.

Bella stories:

I’m Not Hurt, Not Really Part 1 Part 2

Bella part 6   9  10  11 12  13   14  15   16    17

Bella – part 17 Today is the Day

Bella woke with a start. She had a strong sense that there was something dangerous she needed to do. Something important. What was it?

And then she remembered.

Today was the day she would confront Pastor Toby. Was she ready?

Heart thumping loudly in her chest, she got up and went into the bathroom. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she wondered if she was brave enough to go through with it. Or was it being stupid? Maybe she should just forget about it and accept it like everyone else seemed to have done.

No! She had already been through this and the decision had been made. She would go confront him today no matter how bad it might turn out. She thought about the possibilities as she got dressed.

  1. He was an alien and would feel threatened by her knowledge and she would end up imprisoned somewhere in that weird church.
  2. He was an alien but would deny it and she would be dismissed as having a great imagination.
  3. He wasn’t an alien and would laugh at Andy’s joke on her and she’d end up a fool.
  4. He wasn’t an alien and he’d seriously question her sanity and she’d end up in a mental hospital.

She didn’t like any of those scenarios so she created one more, one she hoped would happen: He was an alien and her threat to take what she knew to the media would be enough to make him pack up his church and leave the planet. Without the secrecy, there was no point in him being here to observe anymore. And she might actually come out of this a hero.

Bolstered by the thought of saving the world, she took one last glance in the mirror, saluted herself, then left her apartment.

She was surprised to see how empty the sidewalks were. Being early morning, she’d have assumed at least there would be many people heading to work. “I wonder where everyone is,” she mumbled. It felt weird to have the sidewalk all to herself and she hurried the few blocks to the church.

As she walked, a tiny voice inside her whispered, “What about his love for you?”  She had forgotten about that. She let herself remember how accepting he was, how loved she felt in his presence. And how much she longed to spend more time with him. Then another thought filled her mind. She only felt that way because he used some kind of alien technology on people to brainwash them feel that way. It wasn’t real. Shaking her head, she pushed aside all thoughts except the one about confronting him.

When she got there, she found the church door open, as if waiting for her arrival. She squared her shoulders and marched through the entrance, across the foyer, and up to Pastor Toby’s door.

Again, she found the door already open. “What’s going on here?” she wondered, eyes IMG_20181005_154132429darting around. Was everyone hiding? Did they know what she was about to do and wanted to watch the show? Not seeing anyone, she cautiously entered the living room.

Now what, she thought. Do I wait for him or Jude to arrive, or do I go looking for him?

As she stood there, just inside the door, she heard singing. It was a different song, but the same singer. No doubt about that.

Not knowing what to do, she listened to the soul-stirring music coming from somewhere down the hall. Although she couldn’t understand the lyrics, she felt drawn by the melody, like it was calling her and making her feel safe. And courageous. Like it was encouraging her to do what she had come to do.

Taking a deep breath, she crossed the room and entered the hallway. Where should she look first? The kitchen?  Isn’t that where Pastor Toby spends a lot of his time? And it was breakfast time so where else would he be? The garden, maybe? Since the kitchen was on the way to the garden, she decided to try it first.

But when she got to the kitchen, it was empty. Not even food cooking on the stove. Maybe he’s not up yet, she thought. Maybe I should just go.

But the soft sound of a song from that sweet unseen singer drifted into her mind, and she was filled with the sense that something exciting was about to happen if only she kept looking.

Bella stories:

I’m Not Hurt, Not Really Part 1 Part 2

Bella part 6   9  10  11 12  13   14  15   16

Climbing the Mountain like a Turtle

She opened the front door and stepped outside. The bright sun caused her to squint as she closed the door behind her. It was hot – too hot to be outside. Good thing she was heading to her car instead of starting her dreaded daily walk around the neighborhood. She had only taken a step or two when something small caught her eye. A box turtle? What was a box turtle doing on her front patio? And this one appeared to be a baby! She stopped to watch it as she contemplated whether she needed to rescue it or not. Where would be a good place to relocate it? As she watched, it began to move quickly towards a nearby bush.

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The turtle, tired of the hot, rough sidewalk, hurried towards some shade she had glimpsed from across the patio.

I’m like this turtle, she thought. Sometimes my life is as uncomfortable as this hot, rough sidewalk, and all I want to do is cross over it to get to somewhere more comfortable.

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What’s this? She wasn’t expecting such a high barrier of large rocks. They hadn’t looked this big from the other side of the patio. Would she really have to climb these rocks?

Yep, she thought. Always something to block me from what I want. And it’s usually just as daunting as these rocks appear to this turtle.

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If she wanted to reach the shade, yes, she would have to climb these rocks. Resigned, she began climbing.

She thought of the mountains in her life. If she wanted a better marriage, if she wanted a healthier weight, if she wanted a cleaner house, if she wanted a closer relationship with her God, she would have to climb mountains to get to them. Mountains as high and hard and difficult as what the turtle was facing. Did she have the same determination as the turtle to start climbing?

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At first it was kind of easy. “This is not so bad,” she thought. But before long, she felt her balance shifting.

Isn’t that the truth, she thought. Mountains are always so deceiving. They start off easy, but soon, too soon, they have a way of throwing you off balance. Mountains are never that easy.

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Oh no! The weight of her shell was pulling her backwards. She was going to fall! In an attempt to stop the backwards momentum, she stretched out all she had, including her neck.

She thought of rock climbers. They never got off balance. Did they? Why not? So what made this turtle get off balance? It was the weight of what it carried on its back. That’s it! It’s the weight of my baggage that makes climbing mountains so hard, she thought excitedly. If I got rid of the baggage – stuff I drag with me from my past, stuff I refuse to let go of because I think I need it – I wouldn’t be losing my balance all the time. And whatever I left behind, God could replace. Right? But… she thought about the turtle shell. The turtle couldn’t just leave its shell behind, could it? The shell was too much a part of it. Just like there were some things she was incapable of leaving behind herself. She watched closely to see how the turtle was going to handle this problem, sensing it would also be an answer for her.

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It worked! She was no longer falling backwards, but she was also not moving forwards. She stretched out her neck even more, giving it everything she had.

Ahh, she thought. The turtle, although it couldn’t take off its shell, did have something with which to counter the balance problem. Its neck! It stuck out its neck! It let itself be vulnerable in order to try to save itself. Isn’t that what Jesus wants us to do – become vulnerable? To open our hearts to Him? To stick out necks, so to speak, in faith, towards others? To love others even when they don’t love us back? To give to those who ask even if it hurts?  But, she wondered, was it going to work?

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Yea! Her shell slowly righted itself and she was back on her feet. Should she go back? This climb was dangerous. She couldn’t have fallen off and landed on her back, not able to move. Besides, all she could see was the rock wall she was climbing. She couldn’t see over the top of those rocks. Was there really shade up there? Or had she just imagined it?

Relief and amazement flooded through her. The turtle was OK. It didn’t fall. It was safe. Or was it? Why wasn’t it moving? Did it change its mind? That’s what she usually did when the way got hard. Insecurities, questions, doubts, and fears all seemed to stop her from getting to the top each time. And each time she was stopped, she returned to the bottom where it was easier. Would the turtle do the same?

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She decided to trust her vision. The possible shade was worth the work and danger of this climb. Deciding to keep her neck out for balance, she began climbing once again.

Nope, the turtle didn’t give up. It knew what it had seen and it wanted it more than it wanted the ease of the sidewalk. That’s what I need to do, she thought. God gives me visions of what’s up there. I need to trust Him and just keep climbing no matter how hard it gets.

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Finally she could see her goal ahead of her. Yes! The shade was real! Excited now, she began to move a little faster.

She was surprised at the envy she felt as the turtle entered the shade. There was shade available in her own life. Promises God had given her. All she had to do was climb the mountain to get there. So why was she envious of a turtle? Maybe because that turtle was more committed than she was?  Maybe because that turtle had more faith than she did? Or maybe because the turtle wanted it more than she did? She knew this turtle had given her a lot to think about.

She had done it! Here was the promised shade, where she could rest and maybe even catch something to eat. Was the climb worth it? Oh yeah!

Goodbye, little turtle, she thought as she walked away. Thank you for teaching me something I needed to learn today. Maybe someday I’ll make it to the top of one of my mountains just like you did.

Bella, part 16  The Deserted Island, the Insect, and the Lion, Oh My

As her breathing calmed, so did her mind.

“Ok,” she said to herself. “You wanted to know the truth. Well, now you know it. What are you going to do about it?”

“Hide,” herself answered.

“That won’t work. Eventually you… I… will need to eat.”

“I’ll call take-out.”

“And how will you pay for it when you lose your job for not going to work?”

“Umm… OK… you have a point. So what are you going to do?”

She thought about that for a long time.

“I think I need to go back to the church and confront Pastor Toby. See what he has to say. Maybe Andy was just pulling my leg.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? What if he won’t let you leave?”

She thought about that before answering, “I’ll just have to take my chances. What else can I do? Ignore the whole thing?”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t. Not any more than I could ignore hearing something buzzing around my head. I have to know so I can protect myself. Or at least know enough to come up with a plan.”

“You can protect yourself without going back. Just hide out here.”

“We just went through this. I can’t hide out here forever. I need more information so I’ll know exactly what I’m protecting myself from. Besides, what if this whole thing is a joke? Then if I did like you say – hide out here – it would be for nothing. And so would any plan I come up with. So I HAVE to go back. To make sure. And to find out more.”

“OK. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Bella shook her head. Conversations in her head were nothing new to her, but this one had really felt like two people. Was she schizo now? It didn’t matter. Pastor Toby was real even if the voice in her head wasn’t.

Bella got up and went to her desk. It might be good to start keeping a journal. Just in case. She dug out an old notebook from the bottom drawer, tore out the used pages she didn’t need any more, then wrote the date at the top of the first clean page.

She began writing.

Tomorrow may be the last day of my life. At least life as I know it. Am I really going to do this? Confront Pastor Toby? Make him admit he’s an alien? Demand to know his plans for me? What will he do? Send me to his home planet? Keep me captive in his weird home? Kill me?

If anyone reads this after I’m gone, please be careful. Aliens are real. They are here. And they are dangerous. Pastor Toby is one of them. Don’t try to confront him by yourself. Call the police. No, call the National Guard. Or the FBI. Anyone with lots of firepower. Just don’t go there alone or you may end up like me.

Bella put down her pen, yawned, and looked at the time. 3:07 PM. Still early enough to get in a short nap before dinner. She yawned again. Why was she so tired? It was getting very hard to keep her eyes open. She stumbled to her room and climbed into her bed, and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

She had a series of dreams. In one, she found herself on a deserted island. Dangerous IMG_20180929_084745719sounds coming from the jungle behind her, sharks and jellyfish in the water in front of her kept her from any attempt to escape. She spent her time pacing up and down the beach, trying to decide which way she wanted to die – facing the unknown dangers in the jungle or the known dangers in the water. Then a boat appeared. She knew the water was too shallow for the boat to reach the beach. Yet she also knew if she could get to the boat, she would be saved. If only she could muster up enough courage to face the jellyfish and sharks that might be close by.

In another dream, she was holding a can of bug spray and hunting a huge, dangerous looking insect that someone had warned her about. But when she found it, it turned out to be so tiny it was no threat to her at all.

In yet another dream, she was being chased by a hungry lion. The faster she ran from it, the closer it got to her. After running for what felt like forever, she couldn’t run any more. Resigned to her death, she turned to face the lion, expecting it to leap on her and sink its fangs deep into her throat. But instead of attacking, the lion began licking her as if she were one if its cubs.

When Bella woke, it was dark. Disorientated, sweaty and still shaking from her dreams, she turned on the lamp to check the time. 11:25? Wow, she thought. She really had been tired. Must be the result of the internal struggle she’s been going through ever since that first day when she ran into the church to escape the pushy lady. She wondered what would have happened had she not chosen the church that day. What if she had just let the lady help her? Probably her life would have gone back to normal. Her sad, lonely normal life. She certainly wouldn’t be thinking about confronting an alien, right?

Should she try to go back to sleep? No, that wouldn’t work. She was too wound up from here dreams. Maybe she would feel better if she ate something. Bella slid out of bed and went to the kitchen. She popped two slices of bread into the toaster and some leftover spaghetti into the microwave. Then she went to her desk to turn on her computer. Wanting something light to help dispel the residual uneasiness from her dreams, she searched for a comedy on Netflix. She chose an episode of Cheers which had always been able to make her laugh just as she heard the microwave beep. She returned a few minutes later with her plate of warm spaghetti and cheesy garlic toast, settled in front of her computer, and began to eat. Familiar food and entertainment brought comfort to her body and mind and she felt herself relaxing. Good, she thought. At least if I’m going to die tomorrow, I going to enjoy the last night of my life.

Bella stories:

I’m Not Hurt, Not Really Part 1 Part 2

Bella part 6   9  10  11 12  13   14  15


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How to Set Up a Charcoal Grill for Smoking or Grilling

"A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him."Mae West

The key to success in any grilling project is control over time and temp. The best way is a 2-zone setup. This gives you a hot direct heat zone when you need to brown the surface, and a cooler indirect zone where the food can cook by convection airflow when you want to gently and evenly warm the interior of the food.

Water pans are a great addition to the cooking environment. They absorb heat and radiate it back evenly mitigating temperature fluctuations, and they add humidity to the air helping to reduce evaporation from the food. The moisture also mixes with the smoke and combustion gases to create wonderful bacony flavors.

Hardwood or fruitwood adds smoky flavor and complexity. But it is easy to ruin food with too much wood. Your exact setup may be different than mine if you don't have a Weber Kettle, but if you follow the concepts, killer barbecue and grilling are in your future. Click here for more info about meat science. Click here for more about the thermodynamics of cooking.

Now this is important: Every grill design is different. The three key temps you need to master are 225°F, 325°F, and Warp 10 (pedal to the metal). The first thing to do is to test and calibrate your grill without food so you can see how it performs. Read this article about calibration and dry runs. Once you have your grill figgered out, it will take only a few minutes to set up the next time. It is essential, required, necessary, to have a good digital thermometer since most bi-metal dial grill thermometers are next to worthless. They can be off by 50°F! You can't cook unless you know your oven's temp!

There are several ways to start a charcoal fire, but my favorite is with a chimney (click the link for more on the subject). It is a tube with an upper compartment and a lower compartment. Put newspaper in the lower compartment, charcoal in the upper compartment, light the paper, and in about 15 minutes you have a measured quantity of charcoal ready to go and if you do it the same way every time you can get pretty consistent. Consistency is important!

the wrong way to set up a Weber kettle grill for indirect cooking

Weber and other grill manufacturers recommend a method of banking the coals on two sides with a pan of water in the center, underneath the food (shown at left). This concept is called 2-zone cooking and it is an essential concept in good outdoor cooking. But there is a better way that gives you more indirect cooking area and won't get the meat too hot on the edges.

2-zone setup done the right way on a Weber kettle grill

Bank the coals against only one side, not two. This way you can start thick steaks at a low temp on one side, bring the inside up to close to your desired finish temp, and then quickly crisp the exterior over the high heat. This technique, called reverse sear is a great way for cooking thick steaks. For tough cuts like ribs, pork butt, or beef brisket, you also use the indirect side. For ribs, you can add the sauce at the end so it doesn't burn, and move it to the direct heat to crisp it quickly (see my article on Saucing Strategies). Fill the pan with hot water so the coals don't burn down while heating up the water. Don't bother using apple juice or other flavored liquid. It makes no difference in flavor and just wastes money.

If space allows, place another pan of hot water directly above the coals. It adds more moisture. Position the grate with a handle over the coals, as in the photo at right. This makes adding more coal and wood chips easy. Some grates have hinges to make adding coals easier. Weber sells a grate like this. With rib racks to hold the ribs on end you can get 3 to 4 slabs of baby backs on the grate. But beware of rib racks, the meat can be very close to touching and if the space is less than an inch, you should add 30 to 60 minutes to the cooking time.

And while we're at it, let's debunk a myth. The parabolic shape of the Weber Kettle is not a more efficient a heat reflector than other shapes. By far the vast majority of the heat is radiated directly from the surface of the glowing coals with some more reflected from the sides. Very little heat is being reflected off the curved bottom of the bowl. There is a solid barrier in the way: The bed of coals. Any heat that hits the bottom of the kettle just bounces back into the coal pile. So the parabolic shape of the kettles is no more efficient than a square box.

Make a burnt offering

Here's a neat trick: Set up for 2-zone cooking with meat on the indirect side. Instead of the water pan on the top grate, put a hamburger, or some meat trimmings, or even fat trimmings. Meat drippings incinerate when they fall on hot coals and create flavor molecules that land on the meat and can really add character. They will burn to a crisp, they will cause flareups, but your meat is off to the side so it won't burn. A burnt offering may also cause a rise in temp, so you may need to compensate by damping down the lower intake vent.

Controlling temperature

With charcoal cooking there are two fuels: Charcoal and oxygen. I know you don't often think of oxygen as fuel, but it is just as important as the charcoal. Without it the fire dies. You control the heat by controlling the supply of oxygen with the intake vents and the exhaust vents with dampers.

Crack the bottom vents so they are open half way. Place the lid on so the vent holes are positioned over the meat and leave them open at least half way. That way the smoke must travel across the food to escape. Put a thermometer probe on a cable under the lid or into a vent hole on the lid to read your temp. Place the probe next to the meat, not in the dome. The temp is different there. Leave the top vents open at least half way at all times or you risk a sooty buildup on the meat, or worse, bitter creosote. Control the temp by controlling oxygen to the charcoal with the bottom vents not the top. Click here to read more about Controlling Temperature With Vents.

Don't lift the lid unless the temp soars or dips. If it goes up, then just add cold water to the top pan to lower the oven temp. You can also close the bottom vents a bit, but don't shut them off or the coals may die and the wood will smolder and generate bitter tasting smoke. If the temp drops too low, open the vents wider. You may need to knock ash off the coals with a stick, or remove ash if it blocks airflow.

After an hour or two you may need to add more coals. On a kettle, you will probably need to add six coals every 30 to 60 minutes depending on the ambient temperature and wind. If possible add hot coals, but cold coals will catch pretty quickly. Again, do some dry runs to see how your system responds.

You may find that you need to slide the lid off partially in order to hit your target as in the picture below. Here I have the hot coals pushed all the way to the left and the meat is pushed all the way to the right. The lid off partially off, slid to the left, so hot air from the coals flow over the meat, but it is mixed with cooler air. The top vents can be open or closed as needed.

partially cover the grill to adjust the temperature

I have even been known to remove the lid altogether and put an aluminum pan over the food as a makeshift lid on a hot day and if the fire is running hot. You need to experiment to master your instrument.

For long cooks

If you have a long cook you can sometimes us the fuse method. Make a C with the coals around the outer rim of the lower grate but leave a gap. Put some wood chunks on the starting end of the fuse. Pour half a chimney of coals into the gap touching only one side of the fuse. The meat then goes on a grate on top of the largest water pan you can find. I use a disposable aluminum pan. The water pan will protect the meat from direct heat, stabilize temps, and add humidity. You will need to experiment with how many coals to use and the vent settings. Start by building the fuse two briquets wide and two high with the vents wide open. Then throttle back the bottom vent if it is running hot.the fuse method of lighting charcoal

weber kettle grill and dogs

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Social lives

Amboseli baboons

Family, friends and foes

Imagine living with the same group of people for your entire life. Not just staying connected to the same group through letters and phone calls, or even sharing a house with someone for your whole adult life, but literally being within 100 meters of the same set of people from the time you are born until the time you die.

For humans, of course, this is unimaginable. In most human societies, even the closest family separates during the day to their various jobs and schools, and kids grow up and form their own families in their own homes. Baboons, however, live their entire lives in close and continuous proximity not only to friends and family but also to opponents. For a male, who may live in several different groups over the course of his life, the situation is not so acute. But for females, relationships with other females truly persist "until death do us part," and so it is not surprising that females take rather great care in choosing and maintaining friendships.

Females are generally quite close to their maternal relatives - their mothers, aunts, and sisters. They groom them, rest near them, and aid them in social conflicts much more often than they do non-relatives. Maternal sisters are particularly close, and this is not surprising, given their relatedness and the fact that they will spend their entire lives together. More surprisingly, females treat their paternal sisters (females with whom they share a father but not a mother) the same way that they do maternal sisters - grooming them, resting near them, and generally interacting with them more than they do non-relatives [140]. We find this surprising because, while it is easy to see who maternal sisters are - they all have the same mother, and grow up clustered around her and each other - it is harder to see who the paternal sisters in a group are. In fact, we couldn't do it without genetic analysis. Paternal sisters aren't clustered around any particular individual like maternal sisters are, and it wasn't until we looked at relatedness with genetic markers that we discovered how much paternal sisters seek each other out.

Grooming among kin

When a female baboon reaches adulthood, she typically ranks just below her mother in the adult dominance hierarchy of the group. The pattern of rank inheritance results in rather stable dominance relationships among families that may persist even across many generations [49, 83].

The mother's dominance rank has a powerful effect not just on her daughter's adult rank but on the rank that the daughter attains among other juvenile females [73, 93, 102, 40]. A juvenile female usually ranks above the daughters of females that her mother ranks above, and below the daughters of females that her mother ranks below, and this is largely independent of their age and size. In contrast, dominance rank for juvenile males is much more dependent on age and size; males dominate everyone smaller than they are, regardless of their maternal dominance rank.

Of course, baboons are highly individualistic and flexible animals, so that these rules don't universally apply. Some females target females that "should be" much higher ranking than themselves, and work hard (and sometimes successfully) to attain a higher rank than their mother attained. Some males fail to dominate males that are smaller than themselves. But in general, the ranks of female juveniles depend more on their mother's ranks, while the ranks of male juveniles depend more on their own size and fighting ability.

Female rank and quality of life. During adulthood, dominance rank has different consequences for males and for females. For females, the effects of rank are subtle but pervasive. High ranking females can displace lower ranking females from food and water sources, can push them away and take their place in grooming episodes, and generally enjoy much more freedom to go where they want to go and do what they want to do within the group. These differences between high and low ranking animals affect feeding behavior [39], and the rate at which their offspring grow and the age at which they reach maturity [125, 91].

Consorting baboons

Male rank and mating success. For a male, the effects of rank are less subtle and have pretty direct consequences for how many offspring he leaves behind. This is because high-ranking males manage to form sexual consortships with females more successfully than low-ranking males do (see our page on life histories for a description of consortships). During some periods of time, high-ranking males enjoy a very great advantage in obtaining consortships [128, 13], and this puts a great premium on being able to attain and maintain high rank. During other periods of time, lower-ranking males obtain more mating opportunities by forming coalitions with other males that succeed in dislodging high-ranking males from their consortships, and this strategy is more effective in larger groups [104, 126]. Further, females may prefer lower-ranking males, who are usually older and have been resident for longer periods. While a female can't prevent a male from consorting with her, she can subtly influence the success of the consortship if she chooses not to cooperate with him as he tried to remain close to her, groom her, and mount her.

Group Size

The size of baboon groups is amazingly variable from less than 10 to almost 200 [2, 6, 7]. Different kinds of baboons that live in very different habitats tend to differ in group size. But even within a population such as Amboseli, group size differs at different time periods and even among groups at any one time. Habitats richer in food resources tend to support larger groups, and if groups get somewhat large for a particular habitat [108], they will often 'fission' or split. These fissions tend to be along lines of genetic relatedness and 'friendship', and usually seem to be driven by decisions of females. Fissioning can leave a group more vulnerable to predators, however, so to some extent group size may represent a compromise between food availability and predator risk, a balance that may differ among habitats, even within one population and also that may shift over time.

For a wide range of primate species, the number of mature or fertile females in a group is a major determinant of how many adult males will be in the group. In Amboseli, males tend to leave groups if they have had low mating success and to join ones with a relatively low ratio of adult males to females. But some males who have fathered a number of infants in a group stay in that group for a considerable period after they are reproductively successful; this may result in benefits for their immature offspring. Much is left to be learned about the determinants of size in primate groups despite this being a topic with a long and active history [124, 138].

Amboseli baboons


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Back to blog

Has Fidelity set active managers free?

Fidelity’s no-fee funds have been seen as a game-changer in asset management, another blow to fee-charging active fund providers. But amid the froth and noise of zero-cost funds, will it be passive managers or active brands that win-out in this apparent drive to the bottom?

In early August, Fidelity announced the launch of two, zero-cost, core equity index funds in the US. It’s been heralded as a pivotal moment in asset management, another nail in the coffin of the Actives whose business depends on beating indices or making uncorrelated wins for their fee-paying clients. Blackrock, Franklin, Invesco and others saw their share prices jolt dramatically. Vanguard, for so long the driver of commoditisation in the passive sector, suddenly looked old hat, with its equivalent ‘total stock market’ index fund charging 14bps.

The pioneers

How does it make commercial sense for Fidelity to offer funds for free? We know that passive, index tracking ‘management’ can be done increasingly cheaply – but are they not just giving these funds away? Not entirely. Apart from the headline-grabbing value of the story, there’s also the sense that a brand that appears to champion the (ever more powerful) end-investor is going to attract inflows cross-sold to other, more revenue-bearing, funds. A loss-leader, in old marketing money. First movers, perhaps, in today’s.

And the commercial short-term downside isn’t too painful, either. According to the FT, Fidelity made a record $5.3bn operating profit on revenues of $18.2bn last year. The overall cost of this move (including cutting the cost of all their passive, index-tracking mutual funds, announced at the same time as the ‘free funds’) is just $47m. And within the new free funds themselves, sufficient scale will mean securities lending can likely generate more than cost-covering revenues anyway.

So, perhaps unsurprisingly, Fidelity can make brand point gains without any real financial pain.

As noted above, other large Asset Managers are looking a little wrong-footed by Fidelity’s move. But it is the passive players (and especially the smaller ones) that look most vulnerable. If Fidelity has called the race to the bottom in index trackers, then it’s going to be hard for other passive peers to justify anything above zero. Arguably, Fidelity’s call will even take ‘actively’ managed ETFs and all manner of passive-related vehicles down with it (albeit unlikely to absolute zero), leaving the dominantly passive houses staring into a revenue void. Compensatory securities lending will soon fuel a buyers’ market and those lacking the scale to do it in sufficient volume will likely be among the first casualties. Roll on the robots.

But ironically, amongst all the perennial flack that flies over performance fees and performance in general compared to the trackers, active houses may actually have been thrown a bit of a lifeline by Fidelity’s move. By calling out the zero-cost (implicitly zero-worth) of index tracking, the US behemoth has put passive practitioners, and perhaps those that add an ‘active’ management gloss to it, under the spotlight. Relatively quickly, the associated worth of any passive-core vehicles will be eroded to the point where only truly pure-play active managers will be able to demonstrate a tangible value for judgement and timing, unconnected with index tracking. Assuming they outperform the ‘worthless’ trackers, of course …

Active brand opportunity

As with an increasing number of markets and sectors, a move like Fidelity’s serves to point up the importance of brand. If products and services are commoditised to zero pricing, so there has to be some other characteristic, functionality or attribute by which to differentiate between them and thereby command both premium and loyalty.

At least in European markets, the correlation between a fund provider’s popularity or brand image and its fund sales is proven*. Larger scale specialist active managers, whose value is built upon human skill, insight, timing and judgement, are ideally placed to imbue their businesses with personality (beliefs, principles and purpose) that can attract and engage ahead of cold statistics. When this sort of brand appeal is established and enjoined, the commoditising forces of price competition can be kept more easily at arms’ length.

*1) Mackay Williams: Fund Buyer Focus 2017, 2) The Lure of the Brand: Evidence from the European Mutual Fund Industry. Hazenberg, Irek, van der Scheer and Stefanova, 2015

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In a 2012 photo, Ford Focus vehicles are assembled in Wayne, Michigan. Photograph: Paul Sancya/AP

Ford will not build new Focus cars in US, despite Trump tariffs tweet

  • President says tariffs mean cars can be ‘BUILT IN USA’
  • Ford: ‘Not profitable to build the Focus Active in the US’

Ford will not be moving production of a hatchback to the US from China – despite Donald Trump’s claim on Sunday that his taxes on Chinese imports mean the Focus Active can be built in America.

On 31 August, citing Trump’s new tariffs, Ford said it was dropping plans to ship the Focus Active from China to America.

Trump declared victory on Sunday, writing: “This is just the beginning. This car can now be BUILT IN THE USA and Ford will pay no tariffs!”

But in a statement, Ford said it would “not be profitable to build the Focus Active in the US”, given forecast yearly sales below 50,000.

That means Ford simply will not sell the vehicle in the US. Kristin Dziczek of the Center for Automotive Research said Ford can make Focuses “in many other plants around the world, so if they decided to continue to sell a Focus variant in the US market, there are several options other than building it in the United States”.

In April, Ford announced plans to stop making cars in the US – except for the Mustang – and to focus on more profitable SUVs. In May, it stopped making Focus sedans at a plant in Wayne, Michigan.

The plan, said industry analyst Ed Kim of AutoPacific, was to pare down the Focus lineup to Active wagons and import them from China.

“Without the tariffs, the business case was pretty solid for that model in the US market,” Kim said.

The tariffs changed everything. On 6 July the US began imposing a 25% tax on $34bn in Chinese imports, including motor vehicles. Last month, it added tariffs to another $16bn in Chinese goods and is readying taxes on another $200bn. China is retaliating with its own tariffs on US products.

The world’s two biggest economies are clashing over US allegations that China deploys predatory tactics – including outright cybertheft – to acquire technology from US companies and challenge American technological dominance.


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30,000 students study at Nottingham Trent University. Photograph: Nottingham Trent University

Nottingham Trent leapfrogs city rival in university league table

Nottingham Trent University has soared 18 places to overtake its better-known competitor, the University of Nottingham, a member of the elite Russell Group, in the 2019 edition of the Guardian University Guide.

The former polytechnic has had a meteoric rise up the table over the past five years. From languishing in the bottom half, Nottingham Trent moved to 53rd place in the 2017 edition, 34th in the 2018 edition; it is now 16th. This year it has overtaken its competitor for the first time by one place in the rankings.

The university has improved across every measure, including substantial advances in graduate career prospects and National Student Survey (NSS) results, as well as attaining higher entry standards among its students and a better student to staff ratio.

Nottingham Trent, which has 30,000 students, was founded as the Nottingham Government School of Design in 1843 to meet the demands of the textile industry. It scores in the top five for fashion and textiles as well as building, town and country planning in the Guardian University Guide subject rankings, and in the top 10 for design, psychology, accounting, criminology, and film.

Prof Edward Peck, vice-chancellor of Nottingham Trent University, said the institution was focused heavily on the student experience. “We describe ourselves is being a teaching-intensive and research-active university,” he said.

“We pour enormous amounts of time, innovation and resource into our teaching experience for students in a way I’m sure Russell Group universities pour similar amounts into their research. I think we, with some other universities, are redefining what it means to be an elite university in the 21st century.”

The university also has an emphasis on the local economy, focusing its research on benefiting local businesses and equipping graduates with the skills that employers in the surrounding area are looking for. “There’s a virtuous circle between innovation, skills and the university,” Peck said.

The top three in the Guardian University Guide are the same as last year: Cambridge, Oxford and St Andrews, though St Andrews closed in on Oxford this year.

Leeds has jumped four places to 10th, displacing Surrey (21) and UCL (11). There is little change among the other top 10 universities.

Nottingham Trent is not the only example of a newer university outpacing an elite Russell Group institution in the same city. This year, Liverpool John Moores (49), another former polytechnic, has risen 31 places – one of the biggest leaps of any university in the table – to outrank the University of Liverpool (57). Last year, Liverpool Hope and Edge Hill, also in the Liverpool district, pipped the University of Liverpool for the first time.

The Guardian league tables focus on the university activities that matter most to young people: quality of teaching, student satisfaction and employability.

The guide, produced by the independent company Intelligent Metrix, ranks universities according to: spending per student; the student/staff ratio; graduate career prospects; what grades applicants need to get a place; a value-added score that compares students’ entry qualifications with their final degree results; and how satisfied final-year students are with their courses, based on results from the annual NSS.

This year, for the first time, the guide includes a new continuation measure, to reflect students’ chances of finishing their degrees. To accommodate this, spending per student has had its weighting decreased.

Nottingham Trent has profited from the new measure, since it has high continuation rates among its students. The university also scored highly for teaching and satisfaction.

According to Matt Hiely-Rayner, director of Intelligent Metrix, other universities have gained from the changes to the methodology this year. The narrowing of the gap between Oxford and St Andrews is thanks to the latter’s high continuation rates. It is also the result of the reduced emphasis on expenditure, since Oxford and Cambridge spend considerably more on facilities and services than anywhere else.

Other universities to benefit include Chichester (53), which invests heavily in supporting its students, who tend to have below average grades, and Lincoln (47), which has climbed up owing to the strong vision of its vice-chancellor, Mary Stuart.

The introduction of a continuation measure has been bad for universities in London, however. This follows their underperformance in the government’s teaching excellence framework, which also includes a non-continuation measure.

“The competitive London market, in which several providers have relaxed entry standards in order to expand while others have responded by either contracting or relaxing their standards in order to maintain numbers, could be a factor that links to both the weak performance in the continuation measure and the decline in other measures,” said Hiely-Rayner.

This article was amended on 30 May 2018 because an earlier version said Liverpool John Moores was the highest riser, which rose 31 places. It was Aberystwyth University, which rose 36 places.


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LPNs (Licensed Practical Nurses)

Sorry, this job has expired.

Louisville, KY

Job status
Full time, Part time
Job description
LPNs (Licensed Practical Nurses) PRN

New LPN rates – up to $27 / hour!

Supplement your income or become a member of our full time staff
Pick your location and shifts!

New Contracts - Western KY - Glasgow and Hopkinsville:

LPNs - Immediate Openings!
All Shifts Needed: Full time, Part time or Weekends only.
Experience not required, but appropriate licensure / certification a must.

We also have a variety of LPN positions in Louisville at facilities in::
• Mt. Washington
• East End
• South End
• Shively
• Clifton
• Highlands
• Middletown

We have LPN CASE MANAGER needs

Pay per Visit!

The Central Kentucky area including
• Leitchfield
• Grayson
• Horse Cave
• Lexington
• Frankfort
• Lebanon
• Lebanon Junction
• Loretto
• Springfield
• Bardstown
• Hardin County
• Radcliff

The Western Kentucky area:
• Henderson
• Owensboro

AMS Temporaries offers:
• Variety of placement
• Competitive salary
• Insurances and vacation benefits
• CPR Certification
• Private duty
• Special holiday rates
• Optional 401(k)
• Payroll taxes withheld

Call, apply in person or email your resume today!

When applying in person, please bring Social Security Card, Valid Drivers License, CPR Certification, Current PPD/TB shot records, health records, police report, and diplomas: College, High School or GED Certificate

Click “Apply Now: for contact information

All positions require at least 1 yr. minimum

We are an equal opportunity employer


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Kwong Lee Bank/2

25 Nov 2012 – Family Business…

Sat: took the 3 oldest grandchildren to a movie, Disney production, The Odd Life of Timothy Green***A childless couple bury a box in their backyard, containing all of their wishes for an infant. Soon, a child is born, though Timothy Green is not all that he appears. And odd it certainly is but more important, the kids enjoyed it and the ending was happy! Like many of the Disney, All’s well that ends well with a good moral behind it all!

John’s early Bday party is scheduled for Sunday afternoon instead of the actual date Thu 29 Nov when a plane awaits for me! The family is enjoying the fantastic weather outdoors on the high school running track and the park. Tonight we are all excited about the football game, way to go Gators.

Did some grocery shopping to make curry (Linn’s request) ready for Mon. Stayed mainly indoors to prevent a runny nose and a scratchy throat from getting worse, knowing that the journeys ahead will be long and tiring. Better safe than sorry as the plane tickets are non-refundable! Wiser to take it easy for a few days, unlike my usual living life to the fullest 🙂

Received some interesting and informative pix and postings:

Thanks you Daniel Yiek for sharing this chronological graph. Adding it to the research to another KLB posting :

Appreciations to Dag Kajander for reviving some memories of early working days from 1976/77 in Tromsø/Norway at Nordnorsk Musikkonservatorium. Somehow those memories seemed to be blurred and the piano came to mind but after some thoughts with the music, Dido & Aeneas (was informed later) that was performed then, thus has to be a harpsichord, not piano!

The performance was at Tromsø Ishavskatedralen/The Arctic Cathedral. Pix credits to Svein Hugo Hagen.

What I like about photographs is that they capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce ― Karl Lagerfeld

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Glow CM12 Theme v3.0

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Glow CM12 Theme v3.0

Requirements: 5.0 and up

Overview: Glow CM12 theme is designed to work with the Cyanogenmod theme engine.

Glow CM12 theme is designed to work with the Cyanogenmod theme engine.

Glow is a unique combination of dark accents and the cool blue with realistic buttons with awesome glow effect. It is first of a kind with textured background and certain systemui elements. We have added glow icons for the launcher so that your homescreen matches the overall look.

Whats in the package

â— Style

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What is themed

â— Framework

â— SystemUI

â— Dialer

â— Contacts

â— Calculator

â— Calendar

â— Gmail

â— Play store

â— Google Search

â— Google Now Launcher

â— Google Play Music

â— Messaging

â— Settings

â— More to come.

Once you apply it, make sure to restart your phone for it to take full effect.

If you find any bug with the theme, contact us via email, We'll fix it asap.

What's New

-New Settings style.

-New checkboxes, radio buttons, switches etc.

-New stastusbar icons

-Themed deskclock.

-New System, Quicksetting backgrounds

-New wifi, signal icons.

-Better Messaging.

-Much more.

-minor bugfixes.

This app has no advertisements

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Anglia Business Cleaning

Call us now on

01603 660263

Get a free quote today

Our Privacy Policy

This Website (“Website”) is owned and operated by Anglia Business Cleaning Ltd (“we”, “us” and “our”). We operate from 15 Page Road, Norwich, Norfolk, England, NR3 2BX as a company registered in England & Wales 6726122.

This privacy policy explains how we, Anglia Business Cleaning Ltd, collect and use your personal information. In it we explain the types of information we collect, how we collect it, what we use it for and who we may share your personal information with. We also let you know what rights you have over your information.

Information Collection And Use

Types of Data Collected

Personal Data

While using our services, we may ask you to provide us with certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact or identify you ("Personal Data"). Personally identifiable information may include, but is not limited to:

  •  Details about you: Your first and last name, marital status, title, gender, e-mail address, telephone number, date of birth.
  •  Payment details: Your bank details and payment card details when making a payment with us. Details about payments to and from you and other details of products and services you have purchased from us.
  •  Details from your interactions with us: Information about interactions or conversations with us and our staff, including when you make enquiries, comments, complaints or submit feedback to us. This could also include username and password and your interests, marketing preferences and survey responses.
  •  Your use of our systems and services: This includes how you use our site, app, retails stores, call centres and/or social media pages, IP addresses and information you may post on social media.
  •  Job applications: If you apply for a job with us, your CV, work history, educational details and the role you are applying for.

If you fail to provide personal data

Where we need to collect personal data by law, or under the terms of a contract we have with you and you fail to provide that data when requested, we may not be able to perform the contract we have or are trying to enter into with you (for example, to provide you with goods or services). In this case, we may have to cancel a product or service you have with us but we will notify you if this is the case at the time.

Tracking Cookies Data

We use cookies and similar tracking technologies to track the activity on our website and hold certain information.

Cookies are files with small amount of data which may include an anonymous unique identifier. Cookies are sent to your browser from a website and stored on your device. Tracking technologies also used are beacons, tags, and scripts to collect and track information and to improve and analyse our Service.

You can instruct your browser to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is being sent. However, if you do not accept cookies, you may not be able to use some portions of our Service.

Examples of Cookies we use:

  • Session Cookies. We use Session Cookies to operate our Service.
  • Preference Cookies. We use Preference Cookies to remember your preferences and various settings.

Depending upon your interactions with us, we might collect information in the following ways:

Direct Interactions

You may give us your identity, contact and financial data by filling in forms or by corresponding with us by post, phone and email or otherwise, this includes personal data you provided when you:

  • apply for a job with us by email or via the site;
  • contact us via our office, social media, post or email. Our interactions with you may be recorded and monitored for the purposes of improving customer service, quality assurance, training, security and general business purposes; or
  • attend any of our events

Automated technologies or interactions

As you interact with our website, we may automatically collect technical data about your equipment, browsing actions and patterns. We collect this personal data by using cookies, server logs and other similar technologies.

Third parties or publicly available sources

We may receive personal data about you from various third parties as set out below:

a)    analytics providers such as Google based outside the EU;

b)    search information providers such as Google based inside OR outside the EU.

Under data protection laws we are allowed to use personal information only if we have a proper reason to do so such as:

  • to fulfil a contract we have with you or;
  • when it is our legal duty or;
  • when it is in our legitimate interest (or those of a third party) and your interests and fundamental rights do not override those%p interested or
  • when you consent to it

Generally, we do not rely upon consent as a legal basis for processing your personal data other than in relation to sending third party direct marketing communications to you via e-mail or text message. You have the right to withdraw consent to marketing at any time by contacting us.

We have set out below a description of all the ways we plan to use your personal data, and which of the legal bases we rely on to do so. Note that we may process your personal data for more than one lawful ground depending on the specific purpose for which we are using your data.

  •  To send you marketing communications. We will use your information to contact you in order to keep you up to date with the latest news, offers, events, sales, brochures, promotions and competitions that we consider may be of interest or relevant to you. We will usually only do this when we have your consent to do so or on the basis of our legitimate interest to provide you with customer service.
  •  To personalise your customer experience and improve our service. We use your information to provide you with a more personalised service. This might include personalising the communications we send to you with preferences, We may also record and/or monitor calls in order to improve our customer service.
  •  To ensure security and protect our business interests. In certain circumstances, we use your information to ensure the security of our services, buildings, and people, including to protect against, investigate and deter fraud, unauthorised or illegal activities, systems testing, maintenance and development (on the basis of our legitimate interests to operate a safe and lawful business or where we have a legal obligation to do so);
  •  To process your job applications. We will use your information to process any job applications that you submit to us, whether directly or via an agent or recruiter (speculatively or in response to any ad) (on the basis of our legitimate interest to recruit new employees or contractors);
  •  To use data analytics to improve our website, products/services, marketing, customer relationships and experiences. This is necessary for our legitimate interests (to define types of customers for our products and services, to keep our website updated and relevant, to develop our business and to inform our marketing strategy)
  •  To comply with our legal obligations. In certain circumstances, we will need to use your information to comply with our legal obligations, for example to comply with any court orders or subpoenas (on the basis of our legitimate interests to comply with a legal obligation).

When we will get in touch with you

One of the other reasons we sometimes collect your information is so that we can form a view on what we think you may want or need, or what may be of interest to you. With this information we decide which products, services and offers may be relevant for you and what marketing you may be interested in.

We keep you up to date with our latest offers, partnerships, sales, that we think might be of interest/relevance to you.

We will only contact you in this way if:

  • You have signed up to receive marketing communications from us and have not later told us that you don’t want to hear from us.
  • You have used a service with us and have not told us that you do not want to hear from us.

What if I don’t want to receive marketing?

We never want to send our marketing to someone who isn’t interested in receiving this content. If you have decided that you no longer wish to hear from us, you can unsubscribe from marketing by contacting us

Third parties and marketing

We do not pass your information to other parties for marketing purposes unless you agree to us doing so. We will get your express opt-in consent before we share your personal data with any company outside of Anglia Business Cleaning Ltd

The marketing material we send to you we may occasionally also include information about selected business partners who provide services closely related to our own products.

In order to provide you with the services and on the lawful grounds described above, we may share your personal information with third parties such as:

  •  Credit references and fraud prevention agencies.
  •  Courts or advisors. We may have to share your information with other third parties (such as legal, accountants or other advisors, regulatory authorities, courts and government agencies) to enable us to enforce our legal rights, or to protect the rights, property or

safety of our employees or where such disclosure may be permitted or required by law; and We require all third parties to respect the security of your personal data and to treat it in accordance with the law. We do not allow our third-party service providers to use your personal data for their own purposes and only permit them to process your personal data for specified purposes and in accordance with our instructions.

We will only send your data outside the European Economic Area (“EEA”) to:

  • follow your instructions
  • comply with a legal duty

If you are a resident of the European Economic Area (EEA), you have certain data protection rights. Anglia Business Cleaning Ltd aims to take reasonable steps to allow you to correct, amend, delete, or limit the use of your Personal Data.

If you wish to be informed what Personal Data we hold about you and if you want it to be removed from our systems, please contact us.

In certain circumstances, you have the following data protection rights:

The right to access, update or to delete the information we have on you. Whenever made possible, you can access, update or request deletion of your Personal Data directly within your account settings section. If you are unable to perform these actions yourself, please contact us to assist you.

The right of rectification. You have the right to have your information rectified if that information is inaccurate or incomplete.

The right to object. You have the right to object to our processing of your Personal Data.

The right of restriction. You have the right to request that we restrict the processing of your personal information.

The right to data portability. You have the right to be provided with a copy of the information we have on you in a structured, machine-readable and commonly used format.

The right to withdraw consent. You also have the right to withdraw your consent at any time where Anglia Business Cleaning Ltd relied on your consent to process your personal information.

Please note that we may ask you to verify your identity before responding to such requests.

You have the right to complain to a Data Protection Authority about our collection and use of your Personal Data. For more information, please contact your local data protection authority in the European Economic Area (EEA).

We have put in place appropriate security measures to prevent your personal data from being accidentally lost, used or accessed in an unauthorised way, altered or disclosed. In addition, we limit access to your personal data to those employees, agents, contractors and other third parties who have a business need to know. They will only process your personal data on our instructions and they are subject to a duty of confidentiality.

We have put in place procedures to deal with any suspected personal data breach and will notify you and any applicable regulator of a breach where we are legally required to do so.

We will only keep your personal data for as long as necessary to fulfil the purpose we collected it for, including for the purpose of satisfying any legal accounting or reporting requirements.

We operate a data retention policy and look to find ways to reduce the amount of information we hold and the length of time we hold it for.

By law we have to keep basic information about booking and our customers for six years for legal clams and tax purposes.

We have appointed a Data Manager who is responsible for overseeing questions in relation to this privacy notice. If you have any questions about this privacy notice, including any requests to exercise your legal rights, please contact the Data Manager using the details set out below.

Data Manager

Anglia Business Cleaning Ltd

15 Page Road, Norwich

01603 660263

You have the right to make a complaint at any time to the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO), the UK supervisory authority for data protection issues ( We would, however, appreciate the chance to deal with your concerns before you approach the ICO so please contact us in the first instance.

Change of Purpose

We will only use your personal data for the purposes for which we collected it, unless we reasonably consider that we need to use it for another reason and that reason is compatible with the original purpose.

If we need to use your personal data for an unrelated purpose, we will notify you and we will explain the legal basis which allows us to do so.

Please note that we may process your personal data without your knowledge or consent, in compliance with the above rules, where this is required or permitted by law.

Third-party Links

This website may include links to third-party websites, plug-ins and applications. Clicking on those links or enabling those connections may allow third parties to collect or share data about you. We do not control these third-party websites and are not responsible for their privacy statements. When you leave our website, we encourage you to read the privacy notice of every website you visit.

You can set your browser to refuse all or some browser cookies, or to alert you when websites set or access cookies. If you disable or refuse cookies, please note that some parts of this website may become inaccessible or not function properly.