text:
Gerry Mulligan/Chet Baker: Collection 1952-53

In brief:
"Baker quickly became an integral voice in the rich tapestry of contrapuntal interplay created by the leader, who was a master in the art of constructing spontaneous arrangements that had form and structure"

In 1951 Gerry Mulligan began experimenting in New York with a pianoless quartet featuring trumpeters such as Don Joseph, Jerry Lloyd or Don Ferrara. Peter Ind and Al Levitt were usually his rhythm section of choice but due to lack of work in the city Mulligan and his girlfriend Gail Madden eventually decided to leave for the west coast. Without the means to drive, fly or catch a train they hitched their way across America and his Walkin’ Shoes is a reference to their mode of travel.

Gail was quite influential because she recruited Bob Whitlock who later was awarded a Fulbright grant to study with Pierre Boulez in Paris. She also recommended Chico Hamilton after she heard him with Charlie Barnet at the Streets of Paris in Los Angeles. Chico was a consummate brush artist and Gerry was to say a little later that he considered him to be the ideal drummer for the quartet.

It was Whitlock who introduced his friend, the precociously talented Chet Baker, to Mulligan. He quickly became an integral voice in the rich tapestry of contrapuntal interplay created by the leader, who was a master in the art of constructing spontaneous arrangements that had form and structure. With the quartet now in place he began a residency at the Haig on Wilshire Boulevard.

The material on this CD is constantly reissued although Chet Baker is not usually given equal billing. Mulligan’s shrewd choice of titles for some of his originals helped ensure local radio station air-time. Line For Lyons for instance was dedicated to San Francisco disk-jockey Jimmy Lyons and Bark For Barksdale was written for Oakland Bay presenter Don Barksdale. Titles like Nights At The Turntable probably helped keep the group’s recordings on the airwaves too.

In 1952 the quartet rescued Funny Valentine and Bernie’s Tune from almost total obscurity. The Rodgers & Hart standard was an overlooked gem from the 1937 show Babes In Arms. Carson Smith suggested it to Mulligan and the following year Frank Sinatra gave it his seal of approval on his Songs For Young Lovers album. Tom Lord’s Jazz Discography currently lists over 1600 versions. The provenance of Bernie’s Tune is even more unusual. Written by Washington D.C. pianist Bernie Miller it was first recorded by Boyd Raeburn’s band under the title Bobby Socks in 1944. Serge Chaloff was in the sax section on what was his first recording date. It was to become a jam-session favourite with over 300 versions listed on Lord’s site.

During the quartet’s 11-month residency at the Haig, Lee Konitz, Joe Maini, Stan Getz, Miles Davis and Oscar Pettiford (on cello) all sat in occasionally.

CD1: (1) Haig & Haig; She Didn’t Say Yes, She Didn’t Say No; (3) Bernie’s Tune; Lullaby Of The Leaves; (3) Line For Lyons; Carioca; My Funny Valentine; Bark For Barksdale; (4) Nights At The Turntable; Frenesi; Freeway; Soft Shoe;Walkin’ Shoes; Aren’t You Glad You’re You; (5) Get Happy; Poinciana; Godchild; (6) Limelight; The Lady Is A Tramp;Turnstile; Moonlight In Vermont; (7) Carson City Stage; Cherry (72.38 )
CD2: Motel; Makin’ Whoopee; (8) My Old Flame; Love Me Or Leave Me; Swing House; Jeru; Utter Chaos; (9) Darn That Dream; I May Be Wrong; I’m Beginning To See The Light; The Nearness Of You; Tea For Two; (10) Half Nelson; Lady Bird; Speak Low; Varsity Drag; Love Me Or Leave Me; Swing House; (11) Five Brothers; I Can’t Get Started; Ide’s Side; Fun House; My Funny Valentine (72.48 )
Mulligan (bar); Baker (t) with:
(1) Jimmy Rowles (p); Joe Mondragon (b). Phil Turestky’s house, Los Angeles, 9 July 1952. (2) Bob Whitlock (b); Chico Hamilton (d). Phil Turetsky’s house, Los Angeles, 29 August 1952. (3) as (2) Carson Smith (b) replaces Whitlock. San Francisco, 2 September 1952. (4) as (2) Los Angeles, 15/16 October 1952. (5) as (3) The Haig, Los Angeles, January 1953. (6) as (3) Los Angeles, 3 January 1953. (7) as (2) Larry Bunker (d) replaces Hamilton. Los Angeles, 24 February 1953. (8) as (7) Los Angeles, 27 April 1953. (9) as (7) Los Angeles, 29/30 April 1953. (10) as (7) Los Angeles, 7. May 1953. (11) as (7) The Haig, Los Angeles, 20 May 1953.
Acrobat ADDCD3339

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2013 Porsche 911 GT3 Cup Car

2013 Porsche 911 GT3 Cup Car
A Porsche anunciou oficialmente a versão 2013 do seu 911 GT3 Cup. Baseado na versão 991 do modelo da marca de Stuttgart, o veículo possui difusor dianteiro em fibra de carbono, sistema de escapamento duplo e rodas com pneus slick Michelin.

No cockpit, há um volante com base plana, console central, painel de instrumentos digital e gaiola de proteção reforçada, além de um banco de competição totalmente novo e uma "escotilha de resgate" no teto, para fácil remoção do piloto em caso de acidente.

A maior novidade é na transmissão dog-type de seis marchas, que agora é com borboletas atrás do volante, ao invés da tradicional alavanca. No entanto, o pedal de embreagem permanece.

O motor é um 3.8 seis cilindros flat que produz 460 CV de potência, dez a mais que seu antecessor. "O novo 911 GT3 Cup é muito mais fácil de guiar no limite, ele é muito bem balanceado. A nova geometria da suspensão colaborou muito para essa melhoria. O carro é muito divertido de pilotar", disse Timo Bernhard, piloto oficial da Porsche.

O 2013 911 GT3 Cup Car custará 181.200 libras esterlinas e participará somente na Porsche Mobil 1 Supercup.

New edition of the world’s most successful race car

Stuttgart. The Porsche 911 GT3 Cup is the most successful race car in the world. Since 1998, 2,395 units of the near standard vehicle for customer sport were produced. The new edition of the 911 GT3 Cup is the motorsports version of the future 911 GT3 and as such is the first race car that is based on the seventh generation of the sports car icon from Zuffenhausen. The 911 GT3 Cup will be run exclusively in the Porsche Mobil 1 Supercup in 2013. The car for one-make racing made its debut on the occasion of the end of motorsport season “Night of Champions” celebration at the R&D Centre in Weissach.

The new Porsche 911 GT3 Cup is powered by a 3.8-litre six-cylinder flat engine. It generates 460 hp (338 kW) at 7,500 revs, surpassing the predecessor by 10 hp. A six-speed dog-type gearbox developed by Porsche Motorsport which is operated via shift paddles at the steering wheel for the first time in a Porsche brand trophy race car transmits the power to the rear axle. The single piece race wheels with centre mount were also newly designed by Porsche Motorsport. The width of the Michelin race slicks was increased by two centimetres to 27 centimetres at the front and by ten millimetres at the rear axle to now measure 31 centimetres.

A newly developed race braking system further improves the excellent endurance qualities compared to its successful predecessor. The 380 millimetre slotted and inner-vented steel brake rotors at the front axle are decelerated by six-piston aluminium fixed callipers. The rear axle features a four-piston version.
During the development of the new car a particular emphasis was put on the driver safety. A newly designed safety cage protects the pilot in case of a roll or a collision as does a newly developed race seat which is distinctively shaped around the head and shoulders and can be adjusted individually with the help of padding. A rescue hatch in the roof provides easy access for primary medical attention and for the extrication of the driver.

“The new 911 GT3 Cup is much easier to drive at the limit,” says Porsche works driver Timo Bernhard, who was significantly involved in the development of the new vehicle. “The car is excellently balanced. The new axle geometry is enormously positive for the handling. Apart from that the new Cup 911 is great fun to drive.”

Like its predecessor the new Porsche 911 GT3 Cup is produced in Stuttgart-Zuffenhausen on the same assembly line as the road legal models. At the Motorsport Centre in Weissach it receives a general set-up for the circuit and is tested by a professional race driver before delivery to the customers. The basic price for the vehicle, which is available exclusively in white, is 181,200 Euro plus the country-specific value added tax.

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January 27, 2008

Science Blogging Conference: Saturday morning sessions

Open Science: how the Web is changing the way science is done, written and published. Discussion leader is Dr. Hemai Parthasarathy. Very fine presentation and unconference format discussion. After giving a brief background on her career, the presenter talked a bit about whether or not the subscription model makes any sense any more in the internet age. But, is open access a viable business model either when editorial costs need to be paid up front? The web has transformed all communications business models, so why not scientific communications? Certainly OA has advantages to freelancers, to researchers at small or subject based institutions as they can get access to a wider variety of information that otherwise. It is also possible to rethink the publication process and get some of the waste and duplication of effort out the peer review process as the same papers are reviewed multiple times for multiple journals until they find a home. Perhaps we can de-emphasize where a paper is published.

There needs to be a balance of topdown and bottom-up publishing programs, let the community do the filtering, the paper is just the start of the conversation. But can science really work by crowdsourcing? There are trust issues, we still need to rely on gateways and search algorithms to find the information we need. Some fields may not have the critical mass to get the crowdsourced reviews they need to filter out crackpots and pseudoscience. Perhaps we can use social networks to create a new oligarchy. How to you browse in the new open science/web paradigm? There is also a new kind of open source education getting new ideas in the process, a new kind of citation analysis not just impact factors. Need open data to catch fraud. China is also an issue: the internationalization of science, Chinese are pressured to publish in English. The web 2.0 needs new kinds of incentives to make science work. According to Bill Hooker: "Toll access journals are the walking dead as of today."

Teaching Science: using online tools in the science classroom. Discussion leader is David Warlick. A truly terrific presentation and discussion, with ideas bouncing and crackling back and forth across the room. Warlick did a great job framing the session and guiding the interactions. Probably the best of the sessions I went to.

First of all, we must recognize that what it means to be an educator is changing. We must use new technologies to engage our students, but: How do I manage in large classes, How do I find time to learn & experiment, How do I cope with the very real digital divide, How do I find the open content I want and need? The last 10-15 years have changed the nature of information and how we use it. How does this affect how and what we teach? Three forces are converging on our students/scholars: 1) Dramatically new info landscape, 2) Student social info experience and 3) and unpredictable future. These forces are being mediated by a networked curriculum, social networking tools and a radically different learning style where students must learn how to teach themselves.

Discussion: Science & Religion course: For blog assignments, get students to post, one blog for the class where students comment and post. Only a private blog on Science & Religion course, students really contributed and really engaged.

Bora gave his experience with posting class notes on his blog; unable to get adult students to participate much but notes have had a long life attracting lots of traffic long after they were posted.

What do you tell teachers, how do you turn people/kids into scientists, getting to teaching vs. memorizing and communicating how you learn science. Try teachertube and scivee.

Blog and Media coverage for links to session videos.

1 comment:

Christina said...

Interestingly, I just happened on the neuroscience consortium that will (if the author requests) forward reviewer reports from one journal to the next. This is great for articles that are good, just not in scope. I hope that minimizes duplication -- at least a little. Plus, it's research area organized instead of publisher organized.


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***** Time For New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg To Retire *****

Posted on May 31st, 2012 · Music/Events/Other

***** Time For New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg To Retire *****

Do a quick Google-Search… you’ll find a ton of stories about Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s latest “idea” to pass a NYC law that prohibits the sale of sugary soft drinks in containers larger than 16 ounces. For the sake of fairness- there are “various” exceptions built into the proposed law which is intended to help fight obesity.

Is Bloomberg nuts or what?

I don’t know about you, but Jeff Eats is perfectly capable of deciding for himself how much Coca Cola or Pepsi or Sunkist Orange Soda I can “handle” at any given time.

Talk about the Government “getting” into your daily life. The next thing you know this guy Bloomberg will be looking to limit NYC residents to only 6 Lay’s Potato Chips a day and require them to take 10-minute showers/4-times a day.

No question in my mind…time for Bloomberg to call it a day–and retire to one of those 11 homes that he owns.

March 11, 2013 UPDATE

Since Jeff Eats first “tackled” this one, New York City passed a law regulating bottle size. The law was set to go into effect tomorrow morning. This morning a New York State Supreme Court Judge declared the law illegal and stopped the implementation.

Like I said on 5/31/12 Time For New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg To Retire.

25 Comments to “***** Time For New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg To Retire *****”

  1. Ron W says...

    Jeff. Saw that story on CNN this morning. Was thinking the same thing. The guy is off his rocker. You do know that if it wasn’t for Rudy backing him right after 9 11 the clown would never have gotten elected in the first place.
    This soda thing is so absurd that it really is scarey.
    Definitely time for the guy to go he has worn out his welcome in NYC.
    Guys like Bloomberg don’t think that the common guy can think for himself. If I want to drink Coke till I weigh 900 lbs that’s my business and not his.

    • steven says...

      who is off there rocker, all those people who eat to die faster and crowd our hospitals

      • Steven
        I’m 83 years old.
        For as long as I can remember I’ve eaten like a frigging pig. I love hot dogs, French fries , potato pancakes, BBQ pork ribs, fatty corned beef. I drink Coke like a fish and any type of booze that happens to be around.
        I am 5 11 weigh 147 and still have a full head of hair. I’ve out lived 2 wives who ate nothing but salads and fish dishes. Other than having a touch of arthritis I have been in thank god perfect health.
        I’ve also seen guys like Hitler Stalin and Hussein come and go. The last thing we need is some faggot mayor telling people how mush soda they can and can’t drink.
        Bloomberg is a flaming asshole.

        • steven says...

          your one of the lucky one with good genes, but the majority of americans are not so lucky. just like smoking , i have friend that still smoke and there arguement is well my uncle lived to 92 and never got sick from smoking.people dont think or are just in denial. I think bloomberg got it wrong we should make burger king, kentucky fried chicken and all the other fast food joints show how there foods are killing us.just like we did for smokers. we all pay one way or another for our outragious medical costs. because we cannot take the time to see what we are doing to ourselfs and our children.

  2. steven says...

    the usa is extremely overweight, diabetes is the end result,plus hard attacks,and many more illnesses ,knee repalcments you can go on an on. will americans eat healthy. this is not going to happen , with all the advertizing for mcdonalds,burger king etc..our kids and adults are brain washed into bad eating habits. we should restrict salt intake,sugar,fats,and other food additives thatr will make us sick. so if you think people know what to do ,why are they killing themselfs and keeping the medical business growing.

    • DonnyKnows says...

      Steve you can’t be serious. If the govt can tell you how much soda you can drink in anyone serving then it isn’t a far stretch for them telling you that you can’t eat tuna fish on breador can’t play baseball if you are Chinese or you can’t ride a bike if you are 8o years or older. Get it? If you don’t go live in Cuba they’ll tell you when what and where you can do everything.

    • Steven
      You miss what’s going on here.
      Bloomberg is arbitrarily picking out things.
      For now it’s the size of a soda.
      Just imagine that one day he decides that too many cows are being slaughtered for leather shoes. So he says that shoes up to size 9 are okay but too much leather is being used for sizes over 9 so you can’t make them. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But so does limiting cup size to 16 ounces.
      Bloomberg thinks that government should regulate people. That’s not what our constitution says.
      In addition, what makes you think that sugar sodas are harmful?
      Over the past few months I’ve read where some studies say coffee is good for you and others that say it isn’t good for you. Same for red wine.
      Science is imperfect.
      Years ago they talked up bran muffins and now I read bran muffins may not be good for you.
      Bloomberg should just mind his own business.
      How about I think that little short guys like Bloomberg have to wear lifts in their shoes so they don’t look so faggy?
      Betcha he won’t look to get that law passed.
      Bloomberg needs to leave office and allow sensible people take a shot at running NYC.

  3. XMan says...

    Bloomberg is nuts. Just that simple!

  4. Wonderman says...

    FOX, CNN. CnBC, ABC, NBC, CBS all making fun of Bloomberg.
    I understand that Bloomberg has been wearing the same 2 pair of shoes for 10 years. This guy ain’t playing with a full deck. No wonder he’s worth ten trillion dollars.

  5. What a dumb idea.
    Government has no right to tell you what and how much of a certain food you should consume. Mayor Bloomberg is an idiot.

  6. KLP12321 says...

    Bloomberg is a freaking moron.
    I’ll drink what I want in the amount I want when I want and he can kiss my ass if he doesn’t like it.

  7. Evan Bader says...

    From: Evan Bader
    Subject: Bloomberg

    Message Body:
    C’mon Jeff: I’ve been a faithful reader of your blog for quite some time now. One place you shouldn’t go is politics. What Bloomberg is saying is that if I have to pay for your medical bills when you get sick from your uncontrolled obesity then I do have a say in controlling what got you there. You are an intelligent guy and yoiu have your own medical insurance and can afford any copays, etc. but if you are going to rely on me to pay your medical bills then I don’t want you fat because you ARE going to get sick and I’d rather have my money than have to cover your stupidity. Just like when he banned trans fats in the city. He got a lot of flack for that. When he restricted your ability to smoke, even outdoors, he got flack for that. He was saying the same thing. I’m with you if every obese and lung cancer riddled person would curl up and go off somewhere to die in whatever they can afford. But they don’t. This law should be adopted nationally. Most of the populatio
    n is stupid and they don’t know how to control themselves when it comes to super sizing everything (just go to any buffet). If we can control people from getting sick in any small way then we should. Don’t complain when you are a lung cancer patient and you smoke. Don’t complain when your leg gets lopped off whern your body can’t handle your being fat. Don’t complain when you get a heart attack from eating food dripping with fat.
    C’mon Jeff most of the world is full of idiots and I don’t want to pay for their stupidity. I pay enough for them. Maybe I’ll be able to save an extra Franklin and not waste it on them.

    This mail is sent via contact form on Jeff Eats

    • POP33496 says...

      Jeff is right and on the money here. You on the other hand are way off base.
      Jeff’s argument is simple: The Government is getting too involved in every day life. Just imagine if Bloomberg came up with a law that says women can’t wear 6 inch high heel shoes because “his” study shows that a number of ankle injuries were sustained blah blah blah, but 5 inches and under are okay because “his” study says that injuries were far less.
      Bloomberg should just mind his own business.
      By the way why is up to 16 oz okay but 17 oz is a no no? Seems kind of random picking of numbers.
      Let people run their own lives.
      As far as others paying their medical bills, well that’s the way the system works. All insurance is based on risk etc.
      Bloomberg is way out of line here.

  8. Cheryl R. says...

    ok to sell 16 ounces but not ok to sell 17 ounces.
    is this guy nuts or what?

  9. Wendell Wilkie says...

    So if I understand this stupid proposed law, I can buy a soda in a 16 oz cup but cant buy the same soda in a cup bigger than that. But I can buy a 16 oz cup and another 16 oz cup all at the same time,
    Bloomberg is a freaking loser.
    Let the American people live.

  10. EM says...

    Didn’t this guy Bloomberg ever hear of personal lliberties and Americans right to choice for themselves?

  11. SageMan says...

    Fox just pointed out that Bloomberg today is celebrating National Donut Day. The commentator said “Doesnt this guy know an inconsistency when he sees one,”

    Bloomberg is a real dope.

  12. WhatANut says...

    Next thing you know the clown will out law bicycle riding because you could fall off the bike and break your arm.

  13. Tallman says...

    Did you ever see Bloomberg’s girlfriend Diana Taylor? She’s like a foot taller than he is. I say that NYC should have a law that the male mayor must be married or that his girlfriend can’t be taller than he is because when together he looks like a freaking midget.
    Get it Bloomberg.
    You live your life and let us live ours.

  14. Solongmike says...

    Just reading this column and all of the comments has got me really thirsty for a 32 oz Coke.

  15. frank w says...

    Bloomberg is drunk with power. Napolian complex brought about by being a foot shorter than his “girlfriend”.

  16. robertw says...

    Other countries have all sorts of governmental controls on various food issues. I was in Australia years ago and they started making changes there. Mcdonalds had their first salads offered in AU. The UK is also thinking about various things. I am somewhat neutral on this one, New York started posted calorie counts on menu boards etc- people have made some changes in what they eat. Panera puts it on the tote board.

  17. Ed L. says...

    jeff, you called this one. nyc’s city council told bloomberg to get lost with this stupid idea yesterday.

  18. Gabby E. says...

    One hell of a dumb idea.
    Bloomberg is getting soft in the head.
    Just leave people alone.

  19. STEVE-O says...

    Now there’s talk that the jerk wants to limit the size of the buttered popcorn conatiner you get at movie theaters. This guy is out of his mind.

Leave a Comment


text:
If you are thinking of buying a home in the near future and applying for a mortgage it might be helpful to check your credit report before applying. Not only will this help you understand your own credit score, it will give you the opportunity to check for, and correct if necessary, any errors.

A credit report is a summary of your financial history and shows whether or not you have had any problems in the past paying off debts.

For more information on understanding your credit report and score, please visit: https://www.fcac-acfc.gc.ca/Eng/resources/publications/creditLoans/Pages/Understa-Comprend-16.aspx

The Financial Consumer Agency of Canada (FCAC), a federal government agency, has tips on how to order your credit report for free and how to improve your credit rating.

Even if you’re not thinking about buying a house it might be advisable to order your credit report so you have an idea of how it looks.

What is a credit report?

If you have ever used a credit card, taken out a personal loan, or used a "buy now, pay later" offer, you have a credit history.

Your credit report is created when you borrow money or apply for credit for the first time. Lenders send information about your accounts to the credit reporting agencies. Your credit report also includes personal information that is available in public records, such as a bankruptcy.

Your credit report contains factual information about your credit cards and loans, such as:

  • when you opened your account
  • how much you owe
  • whether you make your payments on time
  • whether you miss payments
  • whether you go over your credit limit.

Mobile phone and Internet accounts may be reported, even though they are not credit accounts.

Chequing and savings accounts that have been closed “for cause,” due to money owing or fraud committed by the account holder, can also be included.


text:
It didn’t work

And I mean it really didn’t work. Out of six eggs that were retrieved, only three of which were mature enough, none of them were fertilized. Even with the most advanced reproductive medical technique available – a procedure called ICSI, in which sperm are injected into the eggs – none of them were fertilized. We’ve achieved the ultimate fertility fail.

The retrieval was not extremely successful, either. Six eggs were extracted, several shy of the usual 10-12, which the doctor thinks may be due to my endometriosis. On top of that, my blood pressure dropped when I tried to get up after the procedure, and they had to do a blood test to make sure I didn’t need a transfusion. I didn’t; I was just dehydrated and in need of fluids. Thankfully, my friend Elizabeth and her daughter stayed with me at the clinic while all this was going on and kept me company until Colin could get off work and take me home. When we left, the doctor said she expected from those six eggs, we’d probably get 1-2 embryos.

We waited for the results the next day. I did a little work, read my Bible, listened to worship songs, and prayed pretty much every minute. Colin had to teach class and go to meetings, the last thing he wanted to do at such a tense, uncertain time. We waited until 3:30, when the doctor called me and said, “I’m afraid I have bad news. We didn’t get any embryos.”

I keep replaying this statement over and over again in my mind. Like the times when people have called to say that someone I love has died, I get stuck in that moment and feel nearly paralyzed with shock and devastation.

Our doctor was very kind, sympathetic, and apologetic. She said she wouldn’t have told us she thought we’d have 1-2 embryos if she didn’t really believe that would be the case. She said I had three “beautiful”eggs, and the sperm looked good, and the ICSI process went fine, so she didn’t know why they didn’t get fertilized. She said if we decided to try IVF again, she would use a different protocol of medicine to produce better stimulation, and she even convinced the clinic to waive the ICSI fee the next time around. She said she was sorry it didn’t work. She said, “I wish I could just give you a baby.”

I got off the phone and began sobbing. Colin held me in his arms and I wept until I felt numb. We sat on our living room couch for hours, while the sun went down and our phones kept ringing, not feeling like getting up to turn on the lights or check our messages. Poor Kaffy stared at us, whimpering, seeming to sense our anguish. Our little family stayed there, grieving in the dark, trying to process the loss of the ability to add to our family.

Neither Colin nor I had high hopes of IVF working. We recognized the reality that at most, there was a 50% chance of us getting pregnant. So we were prepared for the pregnancy test to come back negative. We were not prepared for the possibility that we wouldn’t get any embryos, that we wouldn’t make it all the way through the IVF process.

This probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to those who haven’t been through infertility, but in my mind, even having one embryo result from IVF would have been a blessing because it would’ve meant that Colin and I had at least one baby. And if we had been able to transfer the embryo, even if it didn’t implant, at least I would have been “pregnant” for a short while. Of course, going through all that and not having the embryo implant would have been a terrible blow as well because a little life would have been lost. One scenario isn’t better than the other; they are equally painful and disappointing. It’s just difficult not being able to complete a process that you have invested in so much financially, physically, and emotionally.

It’s also hard to grasp the implications of the failed fertilization. Are my eggs and Colin’s sperm genetically incompatible? Is conception, whether naturally or in a Petri dish, physiologically impossible for us? It sure looks that way.

I absolutely believe all the verses that say nothing is impossible with God. He’s the Creator of all life, for cryin’ out loud; it’d be ridiculous to think He couldn’t create a biological child out of our genes. It’s not a matter of power; it’s a matter of preference. For whatever reason, He is choosing to not give us a biological child.

And that is the hardest blow of all. I have prayed over and over and over again for a baby, and He has said no. Colin has prayed, our families have prayed, our friends and several others we don’t even know about have prayed, and He has said no. He has answered many, many of my prayers for other issues in miraculous ways, and has always been faithful to love and take care of me even when I’ve been utterly faithless. He has rescued me from my sin and given me eternal salvation; I have nothing to complain about. I am not complaining that God hasn’t given me something I deserve; I am crying because He hasn’t given me something I’ve earnestly asked Him for, something that would bring me joy and bring Him glory.

I know what some people will say to try to comfort us because I’ve heard these standby expressions before in other situations: “When God shuts a door He always opens a window” and “God didn’t answer your prayers because He has something better in store for you.” First off, these statements are not necessarily true – some people go through life one trial after another, experiencing terrible suffering that isn’t relieved until they get to heaven. Just think of all the missionaries who lived under persecution and were martyred for their faith. Secondly, these statements are not helpful or comforting. Right now, I don’t see an open window, and I don’t know what “better” thing God has planned for us. The future is uncertain; the present is painful.

I believe the Lord has a purpose in choosing to not allow me and my beloved husband to conceive, so I don’t need any placating words of wisdom or suggestions as to what His reasons are. I just need time for God to heal my broken heart – my heart which He has broken. I need time to grieve over something I never had.

Published by jennhesse

Wife, mother, writer, editor. Content director at Waiting in Hope Ministries. Chai tea fan. Helping you trust God in times of defeat.

11 thoughts on “It didn’t work

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I just can't tell you how sorry I am. It's so hard to understand. Yet, as hard as it is for me to understand,(and to even process some personal guilt, which I know is irrational, but still…), why for some the answer is “yes” and for others it is “no”, I know for you sweet friend, it is crushing. Please just know that I'm praying for you and Colin and I am here if and when you need to talk. Love you.

  2. Jennifer,
    I am so sorry…I know there are NO WORDS that can ease your pain right now. Just know that you are in my prayers. This is a verse that has brought me comfort over the past year…

    New Living Translation (©2007)

    When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

    Susan Ashton

  3. Oh Jen….I almost started crying just from seeing your heading on the feed.

    I'm praying. Remember that God is the one who planted the desire in your heart to have children and He will not fail to fulfill that desire. He never fails his children.

    Love you.

  4. Our hearts hurt for you and Colin. I know that there is nothing we can do to take away or ease this pain. Please know that we are in prayer for you guys.

  5. Jennifer,
    I know you and I have not been in contact for many years, but I read all of your posts and I have been praying for you during this IVF cycle. When I read this post it brought tears to my eyes. I know I could never imagine the pain that you are feeling, but my heart still grieves for you. Before I even began typing this I prayed for you and will continue to do so. I pray God will answer your prayers for a baby with a whole-hearted YES.

  6. Jennifer, first I read your message and my heart hurts for you…But as believers we can only hope that God does indeed have a plan for us! Remember it is not over until it is over with regard to having your family. Never let this experience demotivate you or throw you off your mission. Miracles do happen, ask your own mother Marilyn when she found out she was pregnant with you! Oh happy day, happy day that was for your mother Marilyn and Bruce and all of us! We love you, Aunt Elaine

  7. Jennifer, I'm so sorry to hear about this. As I've read your blogs about infertility and IVF, I have been able to relate 100 percent to your descriptions of your anguish and despair. I know because I felt the same depth of despair for 14 years, but my issue was different: marriage (or lack of it). I knew God had led others to a specific marriage partner, but I waited on His plan for me to unfold for a very long 14 years, during which I wondered why he would grant others so easily something I absolutely longed for. I can't tell you how many nights I absolutely sobbed myself to sleep all alone in the dark, while I felt as if my prayers for a righteous desire went absolutely unheard, though He continually answered prayers pertaining to topics other than marriage. I knew, as you do, that He had the power to help me, but seemingly wouldn't. I felt the torment of the damned nearly as I watched all my friends and dozens of others get married to someone they felt God had wanted them with, yet nothing for me. But you know how my story ended: Though I had wanted to get married in my 20's, I finally got engaged at age 39 and married at age 40 – and I know for a fact that God helped my husband and me to get together in the end and that my husband was the one I was supposed to marry according to God's plan for me. The reason I bring all this up is that looking back, what tormented me during all those years was that I thought God was saying “not ever”. But in fact, he was saying “not now.” Similarly, I can't help but wonder if timing might be a factor for you and Colin becoming parents. God knows all, and we only see the remotest fraction of what lies ahead. I can't help but feeling that it might be “not now” for you also (though it probably feels like “not ever” to you right now, and that's totally understandable). My own parents struggled with infertility. After three years of trying to conceive, they pretty much gave up and adopted my brother. A month after they brought him home, my mom conceived me. I was the only baby she ever conceived, but she and I know it was of God – both my brother's adoption and my natural birth into their family. We have felt wisdom from God upon us to confirm that. Another family I know had a baby with some help from science, but the baby died soon after birth. Afterwards, they felt it was God's will that they adopt specific other children. They did so, and then surprisingly found themselves pregnant three times naturally and successfully thereafter, despite the fact that the mother did not ovulate. One more story I can think of is regarding one of my good friends, who, along with her three younger siblings, was physically and sexually abused by their parents. Then their parents died in a car accident when my friend was 12 years old, and she and all three of her siblings were adopted by a wonderful God-loving couple who had been married for many years but hadn't been able to conceive. My friend was so thankful to God every day for her adoptive parents, and knew that God had brought her and her siblings to them. I don't know how your story will unfold, but I know you and Colin will be parents, somehow, some day. But it will be according to His plan and timing for you. He does indeed move in mysterious yet perfect ways. I know that the recent news is devastating and will be for quite some time. My heart goes out to you on that, and I'm praying for you also. It might be the end of the road for IVF, but I don't think it's over until it's over; just because IVF didn't work, I think a miracle could still happen. It's not now or never, though it feels that way. God does know you and Colin personally and already has a plan for you to become parents. The waiting can be brutal, though. Sorry again that you're going through this.

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2013 Bainbridge Island Housing Market

January 12, 2013
Village Cr on Bainbridge Island - sold by Jen Pells | Bainbridge Realtor

My Top 10 Homes on Bainbridge Island | 2012

2012 is now one for the books.  I will publish a post this month that will evaluate the detailed stats, but I can tell you, Windermere Bainbridge had the company’s second best year ever, coming in just shy of 2007 numbers.  In 2012 we saw action.  Action in all price […]


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Black Moon

If only Louis Malle’s 1975 folly, Black Moon were a short film! The first twenty or thirty minutes are frightening and sublime. A young woman tears through wild and beautiful countryside in the attempt to escape a strange civil war between men and women. I began watching, and expected something like the political allegory of Peter Watkin’s Punishment Park (1971) to develop.

However, Malle is uninterested in the problems and the possibilities of something like feminist armed resistance. Like the bedridden old woman (Thérèse Giehse) later in the film who radios nonsense to some unseen master narrator, Malle relays the tone, suggestion and gesture of sexual identity instead of any cogent expression of it or any attempt at agency through it. Ultimately the film is a retrospective, Bathusian muddle, breathtakingly filmed by Ingmar Bergman’s cinematographer, Sven Nykvist. I recommend the extraordinary trailer.

I had the good fortune to see Eileen Myles and Thurston Moore perform together last week. It was a really great evening; its intensity surprised me.

I think many of us in the red-velveted auditorium felt a discomforting but not displeasing mise en abyme of nostalgia that night. (Paris’s Maison de la Poésie was the perfect place for it, with the Salle de Lautréamont right next door.)

The poetry they read and the music Moore performed were haunted by the specter of the lost-and-safe 1990s…

which was in turn haunted by the New York punk 1970s…

haunted by the Parisian decadents,

haunted by Sade and 18th century gothic terror…and that’s where I lose the trail of this dark streak. It was a glaringly Caucasian and Eurocentric day of the dead celebration.

Myles has moved much further beyond the mode of gleeful, negative immaturity than Moore in her creative work. She read from her forthcoming, unabashedly loopy dog memoir, which turns the dog she is fictionalizing into God. Her endearing and funny fusion of therapeutic lingo, rhythmic wordplay, and sensual description sounded very fresh to me.

Moore’s guitar work didn’t, but it did sound classic. I still found it quite moving:

The performance crystallized for me the highly problematic aspects of the Marxist-influenced, post-punk subjective paradigm Myles and Moore share. Yet it also helped me think about the ways this paradigm can still be useful and vital, once recast.

Punk never died, but was always part of a larger lineage of the undead that haunts dominant industrialized culture across the globe.

Here is Eileen Myles’ “Holes,” collected in Outlaw Bible of American Poetry, ed. Alan Kaufman. NY: Thunder’s Mouth Press, 1999.

Once when I passed East Fourth Street off First Avenue,
I think it was in early fall and I had a small hole
in the shoulder of my white shirt, and another on
the back–I looked just beautiful. There was a
whole moment in the 70s when it was beautiful
to have holes in your shirts and sweaters.
By now it was 1981, but I carried that 70s style
around like a torch. There was a whole way of
feeling about yourself that was more European
than American, unless it was American around
1910 when it was beautiful to be a strong
starving immigrant who believed so much
in herself and she was part of a movement
as big as history and it explained the
hole in her shirt. It’s the beginning
of summer tonight, and every season has
cracks through which winter
or fall might leak out. The most perfect
flavor of it, oddly in June. Oh remember
when I was an immigrant. I took a black
beauty and got up from the pile of poems
around my knees and just had too much
energy for thought and walked over to
your house where there was continuous
beer. Finally we were just drinking
Rheingold, a hell of a beer. At the
door I mentioned I had a crush on both
of you, what you say to a couple. By
now the kids were in bed. I can’t
even say clearly now that I wanted
the woman, though it seemed to be
the driving principle then, wanting
one of everything. I was part of
a generation of people who went to
the bars on 7th street and drank the
cheap whiskey and the ale on tap and dreamed
about when I would get you alone. Those
big breasts. I carried slim notebooks which only
permitted two or three-word lines. I need you.
“Nearing the Horse.” There was blood in all my
titles, and milk. I had two bright blue pills
in my pocket. I loved you so much. It was
the last young thing I ever did, the end of
my renaissance, an immigration into my
dream world which even my grandparents
had not dared to live, being prisoners
of schizophrenia and alcohol, though
I was lovers with the two. The beauty
of the story is that it happened.
It was the last thing that happened
in New York. Everything else happened
while I was stopping it from happening.
Everything else had a life of
its own. I don’t think I owe
them an apology, though at least
one of their kids hates my guts.
She can eat my guts for all
I care. I had a small hole in
the front of my black sleeveless
sweater. It was just something
that happened. It got larger
and larger. I liked to put
my finger in it. In the month
of December I couldn’t get
out of bed. I kept waking
up at 6PM and it was Christmas
or New Year’s and I had
started drinking & eating. I remember
you handing me the most beautiful
red plate of pasta. It was like your cunt
on a plate. I met people in your house
even found people to go out and fuck,
regrettably, not knowing about
the forbidden fruit. I forget
what the only sin is. Somebody
told me recently. I have so
many holes in my memory. Between
me and the things I’m separated
from. I pick up a book and
another book and memory
and separation seem to
be all anyone writes
about. Or all they
seem to let me read.
But I remember those
beautiful holes on
my back like a
beautiful cloak
of feeling.

Visa de censure no. X

Here are about two minutes from the closing credits sequence of Pierre Clémenti’s Visa de censure no. X. Clémenti was, in the apt description of Helen Donlon, “European cinema’s christ-devil child.” He made this countercultural carnival of a short film between 1967 and 1975, under the influence (amongst other things) of New American Cinema, via Québécois film artist Etienne O’Leary. The psychedelic musical accompaniment on the soundtrack is by Clearlight Symphony, later known as Clearlight, headed up by pianist Cyrille Verdeaux.

Three thoughts on visual culture studies

This summer I had a discussion with another scholar over whether our work should be considered “visual culture” or “visual studies.” She tilted her head. “Visual culture has these connotations of material culture, of cultural studies, of nineteenth-century studies,” she explained. “Not art historical or film theoretical enough. I usually say ‘visual studies.'”

I nodded. I understood. Yet, I explained, I consider a rigorous focus on spectatorial environment, historical conditions of reception and/or the materiality of projection methods to be fundamental to my study of the visual. The overarching cultural connection is very important to me.

With Visual Culture Studies (London: Sage, 2008) Marquard Smith has fleshed out an interdisciplinary term that suggests the marriage of perception and its position amidst the social. Here are three perspectives on visual culture studies from the interviews he conducted that I find particularly thought-provoking, whether or not I entirely agree or disagree with them.

W.J.T. Mitchell:

I suspect that the most interesting new questions for visual studies, then, will be located at the frontiers of visuality, the places where seeing approaches a limit and is faced with its own negation, or with some other perceptual modality or medium. That is probably why, in my own ‘general’ teaching, I have shifted from visual culture to media studies. It’s not because I have given up on visual studies, but because the problem of mediation opens the visual onto different phenomenological frontiers (stillness and motion; audition, tactility, and embodiment) as well as technologies and regimes of the visible. This leads me to ask what the digitalization of the visible field means, and to press for answers that would take us beyond the received ideas, e.g. the ‘loss of the real’ posited by so many theorists[…]The current revival of Guy Debord’s concept of the ‘spectacle’ as a tool for diagnosing the war on terror (see Afflicted Powers: Capital and Spectacle in a New Age of War, the Retort collective) strikes me as deeply flawed in its hostility to technical considerations, and its recourse to iconoclastic remedies for political maladies. If visual studies is going to engage capitalism, politics and war through the medium of spectacle, it is going to require analysis and historical investigation of the spectacular concept itself (36).

the wonderful Vivian Sobchack:

For the most part, I think that what goes by the name of ‘visual culture’ is really ‘visible culture.’ That what gets talked about is not ‘visuality’ but ‘visibility.’ Similarly, instead of talking about embodiment–what it is to live a body, what it is to live acts of seeing not merely with one’s eyes (as if that were possible)–most scholars talk about ‘the body’–positing it as merely a thing, or as a visible object belonging to someone else. This seems to me a continuation of the objectivist project–despite the fat that people writing about ‘visuality’ and ‘the body’ are critiquing that project.

I think the distinctions between visible culture and visual culture are terribly important ones. Although it’s changing, the tendency still is to only talk about the side of vision that is about the visible, not about the visual. But you need both sides to achieve vision. Thinking about visuality links vision to the body and our other senses which are not, to use a phrase, ‘asleep on the job,’ but active in giving the things we see a visible thickness and dimension (124).

Best and last, Martin Jay:

In the critique of the reifying power of the gaze, most extensively explored in Sartre’s Being and Nothingness, there was already a powerful ethical moment, which was given added impetus when feminists like Luce Irigaray and Laura Mulvey stressed its gendered character. The Jewish emphasis on hearing as opposed to the Greek stress on sight, which Levinas tied to the relative importance respectively of the ethical and the ontological in each tradition, increased still further the ethical stakes in discussions of visual culture.

Perhaps the real task these days is not so much to rehearse these now familiar connections, but rather to probe the ways in which the sense of ‘looking after’ someone is just as much a possibility as ‘looking at’ them in le regard, and ‘watching out for someone’ is an ethical alternative to controlling surveillance (184).

The Angel of History

Here, four Dürer etchings from the catalogue of a show I saw this summer at the Palais des Beaux-Arts, Paris…

Albrecht Dürer, The Angel of the Apocalypse and the Dragon with Seven Heads, ca. 1497, engraving from "The Apocalypse," of 1498, wood engraving, 37.4 x 28.5 cm

Albrecht Dürer, The Angel of the Apocalypse and the Dragon with Seven Heads, ca. 1497, engraving from “The Apocalypse,” of 1498, wood engraving, 37.4 x 28.5 cm

These engravings were part of a portfolio that belonged to collector Jacques-Édouard Gatteaux (1788-1881). They were badly damaged along with other precious artworks and art objects in a fire occasioned by the Parisian communards in May 1871.

Albrect Dürer, Saint John devouring the Book of Life, ca. 1498, from "The Apocalypse," 1498, wood engraving, 37.3 x 29.2 cm

Albrect Dürer, Saint John devouring the Book of Life, ca. 1498, from “The Apocalypse,” 1498, wood engraving, 37.3 x 29.2 cm

The exhibition these damaged engravings were a part of was called “The Angel of History.”   Its curator-in-chief was Nicolas Bourriaud, of “relational art” fame. Bourriaud is currently director of the École des Beaux Arts.

Bourriaud’s newest art conceptual gambit is “the ruin.” The contemporary artists he assembled (among them, Haris Epaminonda, Rashid Johnson, Walead Beshty, Jospehine Meckseper) were, in his view, like Benjaminian angels of history, picking their way through fragmented piles of the past and forming new artistic narratives out of rubble.

Dürer’s singed Biblical images were on the exhibition’s second floor, amongst other artworks and objects from the Beaux-Arts archives and collections. There were models of Greek and Roman ruins, Romantic-era watercolors and sketches of ruins and photographs of destroyed buildings dating from the Franco-Prussian War and World War One.

Albrecht Dürer, Three Putti, ca. 1505, burin engraving, 8 x 7.2 cm

Albrecht Dürer, Three Putti, ca. 1505, burin engraving, 8 x 7.2 cm

It was moving and naughtily satisfying to look at damaged art, I admit. However, the interest of these engravings went beyond iconoclasm or pathos.

Blackened by revolutionary fire, each of these engravings was the kind of doubly-determined “dialectical image” that Walter Benjamin wrote about in “On the Concept of History.” Like all artworks, they tell a visual story, but they are also material culture. These engravings testify to the era in which they were created as well as the era in which they were damaged.

A pity, then, that Bourriaud and his team didn’t create a space for viewers to ask how their own reception in 2013 might constitute a further testimony of these engravings–can we see the present or the future in these images as well as the near and distant past?

The exhibition missed its opportunity to work dialectically because it enclosed its early modern and contemporary artworks within the limited parameters of universality, atemporality and the picturesque instead of delving into socio-aesthetic and institutional context.

Albrecht Dürer, The Annonciation, ca. 1510, from "The Passion," 1511, wood engraving, 12 x 10 cm

Albrecht Dürer, The Annonciation, ca. 1510, from “The Passion,” 1511, wood engraving, 12 x 10 cm

“The only historian capable of fanning the spark of hope in the past is the one who is firmly convinced that even the dead will not be safe from the enemy if he is victorious. And this enemy has never ceased to be victorious.”  – Walter Benjamin, Thesis VI, “On the Concept of History,” 1935

Views from above in A Sixth Part of the World and The Eleventh Year

I’ve recently submitted an article examining the aerial view as a visual modality. Two more film fragments by Vertov that have inspired me to think further on the subject:

The opening of A Sixth Part of the World (1926), in which Vertov juxtaposes omniscient vision from above, the slicing legs of foxtrotters, the powerful magnet of a construction crane and the small mole on the back of a bourgeois neck.

Another aerial view from the ending of The Eleventh Year (1928), where the technological advancements of Soviet aviation link Russia to its Chinese comrades via sight and flight.

This last sequence, with its views from below, from above, and from beside a soaring plane reminds me of Paula Amad’s excellent essay published last year in History of Photography, “From God’s Eye to Camera Eye: Aerial Photography’s Post-humanist and Neo-humanist Visions of the World.” Amad thoughtfully takes on the dialectic between abstracted knowledge in views from above and embodied knowledge in views from below, arguing for a more fluid, less dogmatic understanding of our encounters with this practice of looking.

Entuziazm (Simfonija Donbassa)

In preparation for teaching the old one-two punch of Sergei Eisenstein and Dziga Vertov in History and Theory of Cinema this fall, I’ve been watching some of their films I hadn’t yet seen.

Last night: Entuziazm (Simfonija Donbassa), made in 1930 by Dziga Vertov, restored by Peter Kubelka in 1972 and released on DVD in 2010 by Edition Filmmuseum.

According to the DVD liner notes,

enormous problems involving massive loss of recorded material led Vertov to call Enthusiasm “a film…covered with wounds.”

As a whole the film is undoubtedly flawed (leaving aside completely the collossal flaws of the First Five Year Plan it sought to celebrate), but passages in it are absolutely wonderful.

Here below, one that thrilled me for its ingenious canted framing. The halting steps of a drunkard and the droning hymn of a church choir are transformed through industry (and the magic of the editing table) into a winding band of socialist marchers. As in the better known Man With a Movie Camera, Vertov employs a diegetic figure to help orchestrate his “film facts” — in this case, a female auditor instead of a female editor.

Included as an extra on the DVD was a welcome glimpse of Vertov in movement. From the liner notes:

A latter day compilation by Elisaveta Svilova, Vertov’s creative partner and widow, it features (as Yuri Tsivian has noted) material from 1922-1923, as well as from the 1930s. Kinopravda  No. 8 and No. 17 are two of the sources.

It is the exquisites who are going to rule

The Party Line, Ken Russell, January 1955. From the series: "The last of the Teddy Girls"

The Party Line, Ken Russell, January 1955. From the series: “The last of the Teddy Girls”

The future belongs to the dandy. It is the exquisites who are going to rule.
— Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance

Unbelievably, I’ve never seen a Ken Russell film. Now that I have enjoyed his photography, I’ll make a point to watch some. Slideshows of Russell’s photos can be found here and here; particularly intriguing are his photographs of Teddy Girls, made with participative humor and candor at a time when all the subcultural attention was going to the boys. If indeed the Teddy Girls were flouting postwar austerity with their get-ups, they were also thumbing their noses at late modernist consumer culture and its suggestions for acceptable femininity.

Writing, writing, writing

Der arme Poet / The Poor Poet, Carl Spitzweg, 1839, oil on canvas, 36.2 × 44.6 cm.

For a long while I had a link on my “projects” page to this painting, which I love with all the force of a million starving artist cliches. I thought I’d post it here as a fond and gently satirical testament to work of the mind.

A couple of interesting facts I learned while browsing the German Wikipedia entry for this painting:

-After the Mona Lisa, this is the painting that Germans most love in the world (according to an unidentified poll).

-Many have wondered what sort of a gesture this poor poet is making with his right hand. Some think he is scanning verse. Others believe he has plucked and is squishing a flea from his bedding. All poor poets know that one does not discount the other.

Mathias Etenhueber had the dubious privilege of serving as the model for this poor poet picture.

-And finally, my favorite: There are two almost identical versions of this painting. One is in the Neue Pinakotek in Munich, and the other was in the Nationalgalerie in Berlin. Until it was stolen by Ulay in 1976 as part of a performance piece (!), then stolen again in 1989 by true art thieves and never located. In art, there is a criminal touch.

Es sind lauter Widerstände von Anfang an

I found this funny, minimal, inventive and very moving film two weeks ago and was swallowed up whole (not a common Youtube viewing occurrence). Between 16mm and video recording for television, Ferry Radax performs a respectful, absurdist, and elegant pas de deux with Austrian novelist, poet, playwright and saint of the negative Thomas Bernhard.

Of the many brutal yet ornamental and telegrammatically-spoken thoughts Bernhard shares, I especially appreciated the one I’ve tried to translate below. Darkly hilarious and reluctantly tender. It brought my attention to the German word Widerstand, which I had always understood as “resistance,” but which Bernhard uses here equally in the sense of “antagonism,” “opposition” and “obstruction.” From around the 16:30 mark:

There’s plenty of oppositions from the very beginning, probably always have been. Oppositions, what is opposition? Opposition is material. The brain needs oppositions. By amassing oppositions, it has material.

Opposition? Oppositions. Opposition, when you peer through a window, opposition when you should write a letter–you just don’t want to do it–you receive a letter, another opposition [wieder ein Widerstand]. You say to hell with it–nevertheless, you answer at some point.

You walk outside, you buy something, you drink a beer, it’s all such a bother, all that is opposition. You get sick, go to the hospital, there are complications–again opposition [wieder Widerstand]. Suddenly chronic illnesses surface, go away again, linger–oppositions, of course. You read books–oppositions. You don’t want any books, you don’t want any thoughts, either, you don’t want language or words, no sentences, you don’t want any history–you want absolutely nothing. Nevertheless, you fall asleep, you wake up. The result of falling asleep is waking up, the result of waking up is standing up. You must stand up against all oppositions.

You must leave the bedroom, the newspaper appears, sentences appear, always the same sentences, actually–you don’t know where they come from–uniformity, right? From it new oppositions arise again, from all that you notice. Actually, you want nothing more than to sleep, to be ignorant of it all. Then suddenly, once again the desire to…


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Electing Officials to Represent the “Future”

bob-blob-ycW4YxhrWHM-unsplash.jpgI was catching up on some podcasts this weekend and I heard a particularly interesting one — Ezra Klein interviewing Astra Taylor. The conversation is wide-ranging, but there were a few bits that stuck out to me.

Astra talked about the differences between democracies, aristocracies, and lotteries, and discussed the idea of every citizen serving in the political body at some point. Not entirely a new point, but one thing that stood out was that there’s nobody in the political body who’s sole job it is to mind the “future.” As in, where’s the Congressperson or MP who’s elected to represent the people who have yet to be born? And I don’t mean the choice/life dichotomy, I mean — what about the child who’ll be born three generations from now and has a right to clean air and water.

She also raised the point that some could make the argument that we’re violating the Constitutional rights of people not born, yet (/mind–blown!).

I want to circle back to the Congressperson/MP to be the one minding the future. Of course, there isn’t someone like this (at least not in any of the political bodies I’ve seen), but wouldn’t it be cool if there were? Wouldn’t it be cool if we had an “at-large MP” who were part of the House of Commons and there sole role was to take into account (or represent?) the interests of the people who were to be born seven generations from now (I don’t think I’ve talked about this on here, but there’s a whole movement around “for the next seven generations“).

And this made me think about some of the founding documents of our nations. Take, for instance, the US Congress. By all accounts, there’s quite a bit of intransigence in the way the system is arranged. Some argue that this is intentional and some argue that the business of government has ground to a halt. What if… what if we were to remake the business of government in the US? I know, I know, it would never fly, but let’s just imagine a world where we can redesign the Senate, redesign the House, etc. Would it look the same after we were done? Probably not. Would we include representation for people who are to be born seven generations from now? Also, probably not, but I’d like to think that maybe we would. Maybe we would think beyond ourselves in this moment about those who will inhabit the space in the years to come.

Published by Jeremiah Stanghini

Jeremiah's primary aim is to provide readers with a new perspective. In the same vein as the "Blind Men and the Elephant," it can be difficult to know when one is looking at the big picture or if one is simply looking at a 'tusk' or a 'leg.' He writes on a variety of topics: psychology, business, science, entertainment, politics, history, etc.

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Contributes are always welcome, no matter if it's additional documentation, a bugfix, a new feature to an existing extension or complete new extension that you are adding to the repository.

If you are looking for an easy first contribution have a look at this list.

Currently one of the biggest tasks we are working on is migrating some of the extensions from the mbeddr platform to this repository. If you like to help have a look at this page.

Should you not feel comfortable to start with a code contribution additions to our documentation are always very welcome. Our documentation is in this repository as well. You can have edit it in your browser right a way if you like.

For bugfixes, documentation and small new features you can open a pull request right away. Bigger features or new extensions should get some discussion in an issue just to make sure we are all on the same page about what is going to be done. If you are unsure what to do don't hesitate to open a issue and ask for help.

If you want to add a completely new extension, please refer to adding a new extension for more information.


WARC-Identified-Payload-Type: text/plain

text: TY - JOUR JF - kntu-jgit JO - jgit VL - 2 IS - 2 PY - 2014 Y1 - 2014/9/01 TI - Improving the result of LiDAR data filtering algorithms using mathematical morphology TT - بهبود نتایج الگوریتم‌های فیلتر‌سازی داده‌های لیزر اسکنر هوائی با استفاده از مورفولوژی ریاضی N2 - Today, aerial laser scanners (LiDAR) have an important role in 3D data acquisition from features. Bare earth information is very important in deferent applications such as DTM extraction, determination of traversable area, etc. Up to now, a lot of algorithms have been developed to automated filtering of LiDAR data. The weakness of most of these algorithms is inability to remove the large buildings. The main aim of this paper is to solve of this problem. Mathematical morphological operators were used for this purpose. First, the LiDAR data was filtered using one of the most efficient filtering algorithms (slope based filtering algorithm). Afterward, the result of filtering stage was improved by perform the proposed algorithm that is based on mathematical morphological operators. The result of accuracy assessment indicate a negligible increase in type I error and significant decrease in type II and total errors. Since, in filtering process, the type II and total errors are more important than type I error, performing this supplementary processing present very good result. Quantitative evaluation shows the output of the improved slope based algorithm with 20º slope threshold present the best result. In this case type I error increased from 4.98% to 5.27%, type II error reduced from 9.043% to 4.44% and total error decreased from 7.03% to 4.85%. Qualitative evaluation indicates the good performance of the proposed algorithm in removing the large buildings which are remained from filtering stage. Slope based filtering algorithm and Mathematical morphological operators were implemented in MATLAB software. SP - 75 EP - 90 AD - KW - Aerial laser scanners (LiDAR) KW - Filtering KW - Slope based filtering algorithm KW - Mathematical morphology. UR - http://jgit.kntu.ac.ir/article-1-134-en.html DO - 10.29252/jgit.2.2.75 ER -


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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Jamming Out with Garage Band and Do Ink (Again!)

I love making music in Garage Band!

I made another animated music video using  Garage Band and the Do Ink Drawing/Animation and Green Screen apps today.  I'd been wanting to test out the sampler feature on Garage Band, to create my own spooky ghost sound, so I did and then used it to build my spooky song around it.  I am convinced that many students would get a huge kick out of creating their own music and animations, too!  I would love to do this with a group of kids!

This time, I experimented with creating one of my own original animations, rather than simply using the props provided by the Do Ink Drawing/ Animation app.   More specifically, I created my own moving spider and added it as an overlay on my credits page!  It was intuitive enough that I plan to make more of my own animations in the future!

Here is the YouTube link, in case you have difficulty viewing it above.

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JIS Arts Centre

JIS Arts Centre is the main space for the Performing Arts at Jerudong International School, and one of the best in Brunei. The Arts Centre houses an impressive theatre with internationally engineered acoustics with a capacity of 725 people in the Auditoirum. We also boast an Exhibition Gallery, a large Dance Studio, spacious music rehearsal facilities as well as other smaller music and drama areas.

The Arts Centre, as well as being available for outside commercial hire, provides our students with rehearsal and performance opportunities in a professional environment.

We have a busy programme of Jerudong International School productions and events as well as community events which take place in the Arts Centre.

Tickets are available via our Box Office at JIS and you can purchase tickets online for public events.

Jerudong International School Arts Centre is available for hire to the public. Whether you need a space to rehearse or are planning a large production, we can to cater to your needs.

You will find all the information you need in our hire section.

Have you checked us out on Social Media? We’re on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. It’s easier than ever to get in touch.

If you’d just like to know what we’re upto, or if you want to organise a visit to come and see us then we’d be happy to hear from you.


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College student injured at Astroworld dies from injuries, family lawyer says

Emily Parkin

HOUSTON (AP) — A 22-year-old college senior who was critically injured at the Astroworld festival in Houston has died, the family’s lawyer said Thursday, making her the 9th person to die after throngs of fans surged toward the stage during a performance by headliner Travis Scott.

Bharti Shahani died Wednesday night, attorney James Lassiter said during a news conference.

“Bharti was a shining star in the community,” Lassiter said. “She was a sister, a daughter, a high-achieving college student about to graduate from Texas A&M University with high, high grades.”

Shahani’s family said she had been studying electronics systems engineering.

Her mother, Karishma Shahani, became emotional during the news conference. She pointed to her heart as she cried: “What happened to her? I want my baby back. I’m empty here.”

Officials have not disclosed details about any of the fans who were hospitalized, but the family of a 9-year-old boy who attended the concert with his father has said the child was in a medically induced coma after sustaining injuries to his heart, lungs and brain.

Hundreds more people were injured in the surge Friday night as Scott took to the stage. A criminal investigation into the deaths at Astroworld is underway.

Scott was only minutes into his headlining show at the Astroworld music festival when at least one Houston officer radioed over a police channel that the main stage had been compromised by a massive crowd surge.

The police radio traffic from the Friday night concert, obtained by the Houston Chronicle, reveals how quickly law enforcement became aware of the rising danger in the throng of concertgoers shortly after the star rapper began performing at the sold-out music festival, which drew about 50,000 people.

Scott took the stage in his hometown of Houston shortly after 9 p.m.

“Looks like folks are coming out of the crowd complaining of difficulty breathing, crushing-type injuries,” one official said over the police radio around 9:21 p.m., according to the audio obtained by the newspaper. “Seems like the crowd is compressing on itself.”

Scott kept performing his set, which lasted about an hour. His attorneys have said he did not know about the tragedy unfolding in the crowd until after the show. The newspaper reported that officers spotted people leaving the crowd but that their voices remained calm through the first half hour.

“I’m at the medical tent,” one officer radioed in around 9:30 p.m. “There’s a lot of people trampled and they’re passed out at the front stage.”

Later, another officer says: “We’re getting multiple reports of people getting injured. We have another report of cardiac situation with CPR by the stage.”

Houston Police Chief Troy Finner said Wednesday that police told organizers to shut down the performance when fans in the crowd were administered CPR. Authorities gave word around 10:03 p.m. that the concert was in the process of shutting down, but witnesses say Scott and Drake, the superstar rapper who came on toward the end of Scott’s set as a special guest, kept performing.

Finner repeatedly refused to provide timelines Wednesday in what was just his second press briefing since the tragedy, saying the case was still under investigation. He said more than 500 officers were working the festival, more than double the number assigned in 2019, the last time the festival was held.

But Finner said festival organizers had not provided clear records of how many private security guards were working the show, describing what they turned over as “just not good.” It was up to Live Nation Entertainment, the show’s promoter, to secure two mosh pits in front of the stage, Finner said.

Scott’s attorneys on Wednesday pointed to an operational plan for the event that states only the festival director and executive producers have the authority to stop the show, “neither of which is part of Travis’s crew.”

“Investigations should start proceeding over finger-pointing so that together, we can identify exactly what transpired and how we can prevent anything like this from happening again,” attorney Edwin F. McPherson said in a statement.

College student injured at Astroworld dies from injuries, family lawyer says

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Floor and Bar Staff - Edinburgh

Team Level - Operations
Ref: 3685 Date Posted: Wednesday 24 Nov 2021
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Full-Time Floor and Bar Staff – Inn On The Mile

Scotsman Hospitality is a privately owned and operated business which focusses on a bold and brave approach to delivering customer experiences which challenge the status quo.

We are looking for experienced and talented Floor and Bar staff to join our fantastic venue, Inn On The Mile.

Located on the Royal Mile, in the heart of the city centre, the Inn On The Mile offers an alternative boutique and luxury hotel experience in one of Edinburgh's most prestigious historic landmarks. The Mile pub is a focal point off the Royal Mile with a sensational selection of drinks and locally sourced Scottish menu.

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The Process:

If you think this is the role for you then apply now and a member of the Inn On The Mile team will be in touch.


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Atonement (Film)

What is it?

The 2007 romantic war drama movie Atonement.

The Soloist

Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx in The Soloist (2009)
Source: IMDb

What is it?

The 2009 British-American drama movie The Soloist.

What is it about?

This is how Rotten Tomatoes describes this movie:

Columnist Steve Lopez is at a dead end.

The newspaper business is in an uproar, his marriage to a fellow journalist has fallen apart and he can’t entirely remember what he loved about his job in the first place.

Then, one day, while walking through Los Angeles’ Skid Row, he sees the mysterious bedraggled figure Nathaniel Ayers, pouring his soul into a two-stringed violin.

At first, Lopez approaches Ayers as just another story idea in a city of millions.

But as he begins to unearth the mystery of how this alternately brilliant and distracted street musician, once a dynamic prodigy headed for fame, wound up living in tunnels and doorways, it sparks an unexpected quest.

Imagining he can change Ayers’ life, Lopez embarks on a quixotic mission to get him off the streets and back to the world of music.

But even as he fights to save Ayers’ life, he begins to see that it is Ayers–with his unsinkable passion, his freedom-loving obstinacy and his valiant attempts at connection and love–who is profoundly changing Lopez.

My Thoughts

This movie was brought back to my attention thanks to a YouTube video by the YouTube channel Double Toasted called GREAT ACTOR TRANSFORMATIONS IN MOVIES YOU’VE NEVER SEEN – Double Toasted.

I saw this movie years ago probably not long after it was possibly a Redbox rental, and I possibly rented it from a Redbox when I was possibly staying at a hotel in the city of L back when I was trying to make a return to college.

I remember this movie having some good performances from Jaime Foxx and Robert Downey, Jr., and the movie was pretty good I think.

The end,

-John Jr

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Report No.

Comparison of heavy-ion transport simulations; Collision integral with pions and $$Delta$$ resonances in a box

Ono, Akira*; Xu, J.*; Colonna, M.*; Danielewicz, P.*; Ko, C. M.*; Tsang, M. B.*; Wang, Y,-J.*; Wolter, H.*; Zhang, Y.-X.*; Chen, L.-W.*; Cozma, D.*; Elfner, H.*; Feng, Z.-Q.*; Ikeno, Natsumi*; Li, B.-A.*; Mallik, S.*; Nara, Yasushi*; Ogawa, Tatsuhiko ; Onishi, Akira*; Oliinychenko, D.*; Su, J.*; Song, T.*; Zhang, F.-S.*; Zhang, Z.*

International comparison of heavy-ion induced reaction models were discussed in the international conference "Transport2017" held in April 2017. Owing to their importance for safety assessment of heavy-ion accelerators and dosimetry of astronauts, various models to simulate heavy-ion induced reaction models are developed. This study is intended to clarify the difference among them to pinpoint their problems. In the comparison study, 320 protons and neutrons were packed in a 20-fm-large cube to calculate the number and energies of collisions during the time evolution. The author contributed to this study by running calculation using JQMD (JAERI Quantum Molecular Dynamics). This study showed that time step in the calculation is one of the biggest causes of the discrepancies. For example, the calculation by JQMD comprises 1-fm/c time steps, each of which is composed of transport, scattering and decay phases. Therefore a sequence of scattering, and decay followed by another scattering in 1 fm/c cannot be considered. Moreover, in JQMD particles are labeled by sequential numbers and scattering reactions are simulated by the order. Therefore scattering between low ID numbers, that between high ID numbers and that between the first (low ID) pair is overlooked in JQMD. Above indications obtained in this study must be kept in our mind for future JQMD upgrades.

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In Other Words: Taking the Narrow Road in 2016

In Other Words

This week I am taking some time to write a post in response to PATRICIA’S IN OTHER WORDS CHALLENGE.

The quote we are being asked to spin off of is…

“If you spend too much time thinking about
a thing you’ll never get it done.”
Bruce Lee

Find Patricia’s other contributors at the underlined link above:

Here is my post:

Taking the Narrow Road

by JE Lillie

Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Ma. 7:13,14

They say “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

While I will take the word of Jesus over the word of “They” any day, I think in this case both Jesus and “They” are talking about the same thing, at least in some respects.

The “wide gate and the broad road” are the “road to Hell”, one and the same. This wide broad road to Hell is filled with well-intentioned people, good people. Some of them are way better and more likable than I am. The fact remains they are on the road to Hell, a real place of real punishment.

That is because good intentions and even good behavior don’t get you to Heaven; Faith does.

Paul said, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

Later he wrote, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life inb Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

Early on in the same letter Paul revealed that the method of receiving this gift of eternal life (Heaven defined) is by faith when he wrote, the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last,e just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”Romans 1:17

Jesus himself said faith was the key when he stated, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son John 3:16-18

Over the course of my life as a minister I have asked thousands of people to put their faith in Jesus and follow Him. Some have rushed to embrace Jesus as their living hope.  More however waved me off saying things like:

“I’m just not convinced yet.”

“If God will prove Himself to me first then I will believe Him.”

“I tried Jesus once. It didn’t work.”

“I have a lot of things I want to do first. Religion will come later.”

One man even said to me…

“If I have to accept Jesus to go to Heaven I am perfectly happy to go to Hell.”

Most of these people (even the guy who said he was happy to go to Hell) were people I liked, were people I would want to know for eternity. Most of these people were filled with lots of good intentions even in the midst of what I considered their misguided priorities.

But all those intentions are “wide-road” mentalities, earthly mindsets that will fade with their lives unless they do the one thing which can put them on the narrow road. That one thing is putting faith, hope, focus, love and life energy into following Jesus. Nothing else matters until that commitment is made.

Maybe as 2016 dawns on your life you are wavering over the Jesus decision. To you I give Bruce Lee’s warning as the New Year begins.

“If you spend too much time thinking about
a thing you’ll never get it done.” Bruce Lee

Will 2016 be the year you begin to trust Jesus as your God?

11 thoughts on “In Other Words: Taking the Narrow Road in 2016

  1. Several years ago one of the T.V. stations did a thing on the street where they went about asking people if they were going to go to heaven and why they thought they would go to heaven. I was totally amazed at the number of people that answered with, “I’m a good person” type of answers. “I haven’t hurt anyone”, etc. Out of the many they asked only a couple even mentioned Jesus Christ dying on the cross. I’m sure it is much liike that even now if not even more so. I wonder if many are even thinking about eternity much less thinking hard about it.

  2. The narrow path is one of my favorite subjects in photography and in scripture. Narrow is the way toward Christ. If anyone has done much hiking they will agree that the narrow way is the bold choice. It takes courage to take a path that is less traversed. With Christ there are risks – we can fall, fail, slip, get hurt and yet… May we be defined by our Lord in 2016 and chose the narrow way – always

  3. As one who didn’t want to go the narrow way for a long time and lived in a big worldly way, I so appreciate this message. it breaks my heart that so many just don’t or won’t see the truth and love of Jesus. I know where they are and where they could be with one word…if they would only say yes when He says, “Come”. Thank you for sharing this with In Other Words!

  4. There is so much truth in your message. Faith isn’t really a “think it” thing, it’s much more about listening to your heart… believing! Once you believe, the action step of acceptance comes naturally and with eagerness, just like coming home!

  5. This is so very true, and a reflection on how we tend to put off the most important things in our lives, thinking that they’re always be plenty of time to do that later. This shows up in family relationships too, and we know that all too often time runs out before The right things ever happen. Faith is most definitely not something to postpone one minute longer, but something to embrace with joy!

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its now only three days off me having posted three photos a day for 100 days, So today i thought it would be a good idea to show some pictures thats Ive taken but haven’t been post over the past 97 days I’ve been doing this. and then today I can head out and make sure I take even better photos for you to have a look at over your Sunday morning coffee. Sometimes its just easier to keep things simple.

– thats a proper dinner spot –
– the crazy coastal road in amalfi –
– someones making stuff happen on bethna green road –

1 thought on “B097 – LOOKING BACK!”

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Tag Archives: Football Cards

Vintage Cards Shine in Memory Lane's "I Own it Now" Sale

Buyers circled around some high-grade legends in the event that gives collectors the chance to secure some high-end items at a set price or roll the dice and wait to make an offer. TUSTIN, CA–A 1933 Goudey Sport Kings Babe Ruth graded PSA 8 sold for $53,000 in Memory Lane’s recently concluded I Own It […]


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Anesthesiologists, Neurologists, Neuroscientists, Residents, Surgeons
The Journal of Neurosurgical Anesthesiology (JNA) is a peer-reviewed publication directed to an audience of neuroanesthesiologists, neurosurgeons, neurosurgical monitoring specialists, neurosurgical support staff, and Neurosurgical Intensive Care Unit personnel. The journal publishes original peer-reviewed studies in the form of Clinical Investigations, Laboratory Investigations, Clinical Reports, Review Articles, Journal Club synopses of current literature from related journals, presentation of Points of View on controversial issues, Book Reviews, Correspondence, and Abstracts from affiliated neuroanesthesiology societies.
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