text:
How is it that the penis and balls don't get crushed/squished when walking, sitting down and having someone else sit in between the legs?

AskMen Original
Correct-Baseball9464 13383 S x 4 2021-06-08 03:33:45

How is it that the penis and balls don't fall off? They keep dangling, right? If a man walks around naked, there's something dangling, and swinging loosely on his body. Wouldn't that make walking itself painful?

What about when wearing underwear and pants? They squeeze the penis and balls, wouldn't that be painful?

What about sitting down? Or worse, having someone else (e.g. a partner) sit down in between the legs? If the penis is in between the legs, and someone else's bottoms sit on it to fit in between the legs or on top of the legs, wouldn't that be painful?

What about crossing legs while seated? That would squeeze the penis and balls more than pants and underwear do, right? How is that not painful?

Note: I'm a woman and am just curious.

Kanterbury 9959 S x 6 7m

This is all covered in the user manual.

Chigirl96 1514 37m

Is there a section in the user manual about balls swelling to the size of grapefruit or larger? Cause I’ve seen that at work and those need a bit more assistance moving. Ouch is all I can say.

Kanterbury 1627 S 39m

There is a troubleshooting section.

thefourblackbars 674 2h18m

Try turning it on and off again.

ajmartin527 385 2h48m

If you press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start on the entry pad your dick and balls will double in size.

My friends uncle worked at Nintendo.

thefourblackbars 218 3h2m

My wife does call it her "joy stick" so...makes sense.

DutchBlob 225 S 3h21m

Your wife also has a penis?

thefourblackbars 154 3h52m

Yes, I gave her one for Xmas as a stocking stuffer.

DutchBlob 54 3h54m

Ah so sweet! So now she can stuff you when you have an off day and feel empty inside

thefourblackbars 68 3h55m

Penis©: the gift that keeps on giving.

unethicaldecisions 3 9h14m

Dick in a box?

Bananacowrepublic 3 10h34m

Hehe I think all penises are stocking stuffers at heart

hill_j 57 3h32m

They don't discriminate. Good on them

DutchBlob 41 3h35m

We’ve reached complete equality in society.

hill_j 24 3h37m

And we've been told it couldn't be done. Ha!

mattthebroken 4 9h18m

The universal cheat code for all Konami games. The good ole days

PrinceDestin 3 3h15m

Swore that was for sonic 1

DavidA-wood 3 7h8m

Don’t forget select before start if there is two players.

thefourblackbars 2 7h12m

Or three

CaptainSk0r 3 11h15m

Instructions unclear.. d&b stuck in the toaster.. what do?

REHTONA_YRT 98 2h23m

Instructions unclear

Penis stuck in USB drive

thefourblackbars 78 3h0m

USB - Unbelievably Sized Balls.

TheSilversky64 27 2h48m

Are you sure it's plugged in?

thefourblackbars 31 3h1m

Try shaking it. If you hear a jiggling sound, it may be a loose nut.

Chicken_N_Beans 2 3h31m

I already do that at least twice a day.

thefourblackbars 1 3h54m

Does it make the same music when you start up Windows?

crankyblanky 2 8h0m

Did you try blowing on it a few times?

ManicMonkOnMac 1 3h53m

Off and on

Royaldinosaurus 1 4h3m

THUMP THUMP!…. Is this thing on?

Chigirl96 52 1h37m

Really needs to be a must read for those with health problems.

Pseudeenym 4 3h51m

Troubleshooting in this context can mean a few other things 🤐

InkSymptoms 3 3h0m

I must not have read that section. Not that I need to read it right now, but now that it exists, I need to read it.

neontiger07 50 2h18m

I hope to god you're in the medical field

Chigirl96 30 2h54m

Yes I am and oh the things I wish I could unsee

XDutchie 3 4h35m

That happened to me when I was in hospital for a couple of months, for the first full month in hospital I didn't eat any food at all, the doctors just had me on fluids the whole time. So I can confirm my balls swelled up like twice or more of their normal size.

It went away once I was able to eat normal food again.

JackPhantomOfficial 2 8h28m

I can just see the YouTube ad now: "Want to increase the size and output of your testicles? Eating fruit in this specific combination is a secret trick discovered by a guy in hospital. Doctors hate him."

INTJ_woman 2 8h6m

sir this is Wendy's

tired_of_old_memes 41 43m

The easiest solution is an orgasm, but if that's not an option, the inflammation can be relieved with OTC painkillers. Try 1000mg acetaminophen, or 600mg ibuprofen, or if it's really hurting bad, you can combine both. Read the labels. You can combine OTC painkillers within the maximum dosage as long as they're not both NSAIDS... so you can't combine ibuprofen with aspirin, for example.

Chigirl96 74 1h44m

Yeah no....I work in a hospital and orgasms are A) definitely not happening and B) highly doubt it would work anyway LOL and C) most of these men are beyond the help of OTC meds unfortunately for them.

tired_of_old_memes 57 1h47m

Oh, sorry I read hyperbole where there was none... you were actually serious with those details... yeah that's a medical situation in need of professional attention

Chigirl96 14 2h55m

Yeah sadly it really happens and wow does it look uncomfortable to say the least

theRaptor20 3 8h48m

Did mine a few years ago in a sporting accident. Can confirm the size of a grapefruit each by the time I arrived. Emergency triaged me into the 2nd category under life threatening and I was having surgery that night. Not an exaggeration to call it the worst pain of my life until the pain meds hit

JackPhantomOfficial 2 8h29m

Men have actually gotten up to see a doctor

Yeah, it's uncomfortable.

That and heart attacks are the usual two that make a guy go "okay, maybe I'll go get this checked out".

thefourblackbars 31 2h19m

Mine is a user manual from the Catholic church.

Says "If broken, see priest"

npfiii 34 3h30m

*Support ends after age 14

splodgenessabounds 7 4h23m

N.B. Some choir boys excepted.

PublicObamos 6 5h43m

Hits puberty

Confused priest noises

splodgenessabounds 1 4h33m

"If broken, see priest"

Or Archbishop, or...

anonymustanonymust 1 6h6m

No refunds ??

krissymo77 31 3h45m

I'm a nurse and I've seen some seriously swollen balls

thefourblackbars 29 8h3m

What's your best ball story! You can't just leave us hanging.

Distinct_Comedian872 15 10h10m

The suspense is driving me nuts.

Pahoalili 7 13h19m

A long long time ago I was a naive student nurse, and my patient had testicular cellulitis. As a result of the inflammation, his scrotum was “football-sized”. My job that day was to wash him, and to my disbelief, I couldn’t find his penis to wash it. Tried lifting and moving the large ballsack to no avail.

He was so obese he wasn’t able to reach his groin, so I asked him how he peed. He said he used a backscratcher. Oh! Afterwards I read the Doctor’s notes, and she had written “unable to locate penis”, so it wasn’t just me. I was relieved.

thefourblackbars 3 18h0m

Did they ever locate his penis?

Chigirl96 6 10h22m

I cannot say I have a “best” ball story but some of these men with CHF end up with balls (and penises) so swollen we actually will construct/use slings for them to use when they have to get up and walk. I’m a physical therapist.

The largest size I have seen is probably the size of a small watermelon and the poor man literally needs someone to lift and hold the balls to move around. Usually I feel so bad for the guy I don’t make him get up. Clearly he’s got bigger problems at that moment (literally and figuratively).

Girlfriend_Material 3 16h3m

What causes this?! Sounds excruciating!

Im_takin_yer_ker_bud 14 8h26m

I'm balls and I've seen some seriously swollen nurses

krissymo77 3 11h14m

Lol I'm dead

Top_Relationship8116 3 6h9m

Chigirl96 3 10h30m

I’m a Physical Therapist and I probably have only encountered a portion of what you’ve seen lol.

krissymo77 3 11h13m

Lol I'm sure you have!

blutom 2 7h46m

mtflyer05 23 5h6m

It's usually due to testicular hydrocele, which is often caused by heart problems, the heart being unable to pump properly, causing fluid to leak into the scrotum. If you see someone like this, and arent a in a medical setting, I would suggest that you suggest they see a doctor, because it is generally relatively serious, regardless of how weird it may be to comment on.

You could potentially save a life.

IntentsAndPurposes 3 8h39m

More often than not it’s an abscess in younger healthier patients. From a small scratch, STD, or shaving accident.

They can balloon pretty fast, and it is also a serious medical emergency that often requires surgical drainage and strong antibiotics.

It can grow from the size of a pea one day to the size of an orange the next if left unattended.

forevertheorangemen 3 9h38m

Coming here to second this. Any scrotal swelling needs to get looked at by a doctor to be on the safe side. It could be minor, or it could save someone’s life.

Raudskeggr 2 3h6m

Try unplugging it and then plugging it back in.

PreviousFriendship85 2 4h30m

Best bet is to chop em off

twonky-two 2 9h16m

That's called a hydrocele. My right bollock had a one and yes it's uncomfortable. Not as bad as having your balls cut open to drain it tho and then spending a few days in a adult nappy bleeding all over the place. I can say for sure that after having ball surgery it did feel like I had been kicked, that sour stomach feeling you get, that's present. Horrible.

is_it_on 2 9h44m

I had this happen after bladder surgery. I was on heroic doses of Norco so the pain was minimal. Hardest part was when my mother in law had to delicately point out that a testicle the size of a pork chop had fallen out of my pajama front. Only lasting effects are premature old man balls. Hot tubs are fun.

Unbearableyt 2 10h0m

If that happens you should ask for a refund

Apprehensive-Style82 1 3h43m

Try putting it in rice. Always work.

rboyweare 1 3h58m

Put it in rice

MousseAgitated138 1 3h59m

Been there

Moev_a 1 4h22m

Double Twist to the right for the hidden restart button.

aNo_nYm_oUs_13 1 5h17m

DISCLAIMER: TRY THIS ON YOUR ONW RISK AND WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR U KNOW.. Tap and squeeze both balls and give a karate chop on dick to check it's functionality. NOTE: green light if test is cleared, Orange if not completely clear and red if u lose your balls/penis AND YES RED LIGHT COMES WITH RED LIQUID THO

Denvershoeshine 98 1h22m

You got a user manual?!?!?

Kanterbury 96 1h25m

They give it to your parents. They must have lost it.

Denvershoeshine 38 1h48m

That figures

maimeddivinity 72 2h0m

Who's Manuel?

bigdaddy1989 36 2h8m

Quien me llama?

KangarooKurt 6 9h5m

No, not a llama, but a kangaroo

thefourblackbars 39 2h18m

Written by Richard Shaft.

Sir-Jarvis 14 5h4m

Illustrated by Mike Oxlong

RedRum_Bunny 2 9h37m

Edited by Olong Johnson

mmotte89 2 11h27m

Foreword by E. Jack & Q. Lashun

splodgenessabounds 10 4h25m

And co-authored by Richard Head.

Standgrounding 2 8h44m

Reviewed by Peter Niss

garlic_bread_thief 8 3h19m

Oh damn I chucked it in the bin

saadakhtar 7 6h10m

It's like the instructions for every food item. You throw it, but later need to retrieve it from the trash.

VeraLumina 2 9h29m

I never read the manual. Always figure it out though.

somekindafuzz 2 9h32m

Brah we don't read the manual. We play with it until we figure out how it works, as we do with all things.

NZNoldor 1 4h29m

Wait, you (ouch) guys have a (damn) manual? I seem to (fuckfuckfuck) have misplaced mine. Hang on, let me sit down for a moment.

splodgenessabounds 1 4h31m

Manual seems to help a lot (if my experiences as an older owner/user are anything to go by).

Okichah 1 4h44m

This reads like stereo instructions.

LoanedPurr 6605 S x 2 G 10m

For one, the dick isn't directly between your legs. It's slightly to the front. It might seem like a minimal difference, but it's what keeps it from getting crushed.

Sit down with your legs closed, then take an object and put right between your legs. You won't be sitting on it either. Weirdest sentence I ever told a strange woman, but here we are.

Second, when the penis is flaccid, not only does it take less space, it also "molds" comfortably. It really doesn't dangle all that much, specially if you're a "grower", not a "shower".

What about when wearing underwear and pants? They squeeze the penis and balls, wouldn't that be painful?

Female underwear and pants are significantly tighter than ours. You need to remember that our pants are made with a penis in mind, so there's extra room around the crotch area.

Even male skinny jeans aren't as bad as female jeans. As for the underwear, even form fitting boxer briefs wrap the body snuggly - it doesn't compress too much, since it's fairly elastic.

Lots of women out there enjoy wearing male underwear for this reason.

What about crossing legs while seated? That would squeeze the penis and balls more than pants and underwear do, right? How is that not painful?

It's more the balls, than the penis, because again, the penis isn't directly between our legs.

Even then, not every guy has this issue, only some. Hence why some guys "manspread".

EDIT: Rip my inbox.

To address some points made in the replies below:

  • Yes, testicles sit at different heights. Good point.
  • If your underwear still feels too tight, consider checking the size first, then read what fabrics it's made from. There are elastic materials added to certain fabrics, to make them wrap around your body more comfortably. Far from me to judge how you choose to envelop your magnum dong, but perhaps there's a heavenly underwear out there for you, just waiting to be discovered.
  • I didn't know about "manspreading" also happening because of hip proportions. Considering I'm a guy with fairly wide hips who can comfortably cross my legs to sit, I guess that makes sense. I just thought you guys had large balls.
Nickthedick3 2607 S 2h22m

It’s worth noting that some of us do occasionally, accidentally sit on our balls and it hurts like hell.

It’s worth noting that some of us to occasionally, accidentally sit on our balls and it hurts like hell.

DrEmilioLazardo 872 10h14m

Or when the seam of your pants decides it's time for some CBT...

Smeefperson 1256 S G 10h53m

CBT? You mean, Christian Bible Time right?

star_witness1 649 11h59m

It definitely makes me say "Jesus Christ" when it happens

ThisIsBanEvasion 12 12h28m

Found Mr slaves account

lxscairns 225 12h11m

No, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Your pants are tired of putting up with all your shit.

Eric-The_Viking 19 13h10m

Maybe some medicin could already help against that

notbad2u 3 14h33m

Or wiping better

Eric-The_Viking 3 14h37m

Don't think wiping could fix diarreah lol

discosnake 3 13h33m

I think distress tolerence skills for pants are spot on.

evoblade 41 12h11m

Well yes, but in a very Old Testament way

aDragonsAle 5 12h17m

No way? Yahweh...

Unsuriatin 8 11h15m

Shut up and take my Gold.

Lambdastone9 3 13h27m

…I mean it’ll def have you prayin soooooooo 😶

LeviOhhsah 3 13h33m

Cryogenic Ball Therapy - when the circulation gets cut off and they cool rapidly.

Speffeddude 39 10h43m

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

DrEmilioLazardo 64 10h47m

Cock and Ball Torture. Basically the same thing.

scrambled_potato 7 11h27m

Yep i concur

DrEmilioLazardo 6 11h29m
scrambled_potato 3 11h30m

Ayyyy, my man

I was thinking of this scene as i wrote the comment

warmerbread 6 12h3m

Cognitive ball-havioral therapy

AvatarSaitama 5 12h14m

Cocknitive Behavioral Therapy

-justabagel- 23 13h13m

Software professional here, pretty sure they mean Closed Beta Testing...

SmolBeaver1 8 13h47m

Ah yes Compulsory Bike Training

dreamsdrop 5 11h50m

Cognitive behavioural therapy? Who are you my wife?

DrEmilioLazardo 7 12h7m

Only if your wife stomps on your nuts as part of your "therapy."

HeyHaloHalo 3 12h40m

(Female) I've heard this called "jumping the hurdle".

Moruitelda 3 13h38m

Or you slide over to get out of a car and your ball catches and tries to roll over under your thigh like it's a castor.

hitemlow 3 14h39m

Gussetted pants are the solution to that.

ZoltanBattery 37 12h29m

It's getting to be that time of year too. Hot weather = droopy balls = bigger risk that they get in the way!

Gaddafo 30 12h18m

Yep. My girlfriend wasn’t in the happiest mood. So I jumped in my seat as a joke and crushed my balls. It wasn’t on purpose and it hurt like hell, but it made her laugh.

concerned_concerned 10 17h1m

i’m not ur gf but i also laughed at this

AnalogMan 10 11h52m

Sometime when jogging they can swing down and get caught between the thighs of your underwear isn't supportive enough. Known as "sack-crack-alitus".

itsnotimportant2021 7 14h0m

I came to say this. In college I accidentally sat on my balls at lunch with a group of women. I shot straight up and had some very confused ladies. I came clean and had to address a lot of these questions

Fearless-Effective86 6 12h35m

How can you sit on your balls?, are they hanging that low?

Long-Sleeves 9 14h33m

They hang lower when hot. So it’s very possible you slump down and bam. Instant agony.

Worst part is 9999/10000 days can pass without incident so it always comes as a surprise and you’re constant reassurance that it NEVER actually happens is what let’s it happen.

MajesticKick 6 13h45m

Yes. If I’m warm my balls hang very low and it’s possible to sit on them a bit. It hurts but when I was a teen I just quit wearing boxers. Switched to tighter underwear that supports the balls and keeps them lifted. Now that fashion trends are to more form fitting pants that also helps. So problem solved.

Sometimes my balls can also touch toilet bowl water and that is disgusting.

MrVeinless 3 16h11m

Sometimes my balls can also touch toilet bowl water and that is disgusting

This is such a US problem. Why is your toilet bowl water so high??

Nickthedick3 4 13h45m

Every ones is different. I haven’t done it in years though

jemminger 5 10h15m

Tiny balls FTW

Hugenstein41 2 10h57m

Steroids ftw. Works for me.

ryanoneill19 5 11h32m

I especially struggle with this when I'm first getting onto my bike. As if bike seats weren't uncomfortable enough to begin with :'(

AndyTynon 5 12h45m

SoxxoxSmox 5 13h30m

Ugh there's nothing worse than sitting in a weird way for a while and then as soon as you move you realize you've been putting pressure on them and in a few minutes when the pain kicks in you're going to be basically incapacitated.

nayyav 5 14h50m

this is just the worst. its like kicking yourself in the nuts

BaboonAstronaut 4 11h30m

Classic clip of a guy sitting on on his balls. https://youtu.be/pzGjERJO9Bc

NepTheNap 4 11h50m

As someone who rides his bike daily for hours, I agree. This happens rarely, but it happens and it is surely no pleasant feeling.

PrOwOfessor_OwOak 4 14h4m

I did this 3 times in a row in highschool. Like back to back to back. 4th time i sat down, i grabbed my junk and lifted them as high as i could through my sweatpants.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me three times and ill probably be crying from pain

Nickthedick3 3 14h50m

The trick is to suck your stomach in to lift ‘em up before sitting

Bunker_Beans 3 14h5m

Can confirm. Have sat on balls.

Fatass_Joe 3 14h32m

Username checks out

warlordhook 2 11h10m

Did in gym yesterday. Damn hurt like a MF

Correct-Baseball9464 1004 18m

Thank you! Does this mean when a man's partner, or significant other sits in between his legs, it doesn't hurt any more than sitting on legs themselves does?

I've seen two men (who are romantic partners) sitting in between each other's legs before, or even one with his bottoms clearly on top of the other's area (where penis is located), and I always wondered if it hurts 🙈

Big_PapaPrometheus42 2007 53m

If it hurts, we would politely reposition you or ourselves to get comfy. We've been dealing with our genitals our whole life, so it's pretty much second nature to avoid pain.

brettdelport 867 2h34m

This. I’d say we have an ever present sense of where our penis and balls are, and about which action will crush them.

There may even be an evolution thing at play. Those who didn’t have this skill became sterile and thus could not breed. (This is more of a joke than truth).

justsomeplainmeadows 295 3h0m

More of a joke but not wrong lol we are keenly aware of our dicks because that's the thing that will carry on our genes, which is one of the most basic instincts in animals.

So yeah.... the more careful you are about not crushing your balls, the more likely you are to reproduce. Science!

SpikeHimself 198 4h5m

To add to this, any pain inflicted to our balls is immensely exaggerated by our brains, so as to make sure we keep them safe.

justsomeplainmeadows 139 4h8m

I think I remember seeing a study showing that a strong impact to the balls is literally the strongest pain a man can feel. I'm glad I haven't felt any impact to them yet (*frantically knocks on nearest wooden object)

patgeo 125 5h37m

As a cricket player, I've taken a few shots to the box and one without the box.

My migraines come close, if not worse at times and appendicitis at the peak of the pain level. Those three things are the only pain I've experienced where I physically couldn't do anything except be in pain in a ball on the ground.

For comparison, I've had a self tapping screw drilled into my wrist and wound it out by hand, broken a few bones, been bashed around by various large animals, few head blows etc. And my back just constantly hurts due to scoliosis and other problems since I was like 10...

oggyb 113 8h31m

I feel like the only appropriate response to your comment is "this guy pains."

patgeo 28 9h8m

Every day, all day.

Mongoose39A27 6 9h58m

I had mine near-crushed when I was young in an accident (it's ok now). It hurts like hell, but the thing is the weakness you feel. I've had worse pain, but this brings a weakness, a need to protect or to run, that other pains don't bring.

Like I could fight you through my splitting earache if I had to, but I feel like running and hiding and like my "power" has left me after a good hit to the balls.

Background_Half_4568 3 S 13h21m

Yeah its kinda like your power comes from your sac and a good thwack can take all that power back

Twobirdsfalling 5 9h21m

"been bashed around by various large animals" is the best part of this post

patgeo 10 9h31m

I might have worked as a farm hand for a while, I might also have liked breaking into the local zoo. You'll never know.

ThatOneBadWhiteGuy 5 9h36m

Toothaches are a bitcb

JABS991 3 12h7m

Look up Trigeminal Neuralgia. Everyday without it is a blessing.

Najam99 5 10h2m

Once as a kid, I bowled a very slow ball to an older cousin and it hit him in the spot. Dude rolled on the ground for wt least half an hour

HeroGothamKneads 4 9h10m

I was with you until I got a pretty bad eye injury. Now it's 4 things.

patgeo 5 9h16m

What was the eye injury? I need to avoid any chance of that occurring.

bobnla14 91 5h5m

Told the story and another thread but it bears repeating here

Girlfriends three-year-old boy wanted to go with me to the store. But he had a habit of not wearing pants when in the apartment. I told him that we could not go out until he put his pants on. She helped him and when she pulled his jeans today he got very upset and smacked her.

I can tell by the look on his face that she had racked him. I told her what she had done and she said that he won’t remember as he’s too young. I told her that I have been racked five times in my entire life and I could give her the situation and every single one of them as I remember everyone of them perfectly. Yes it is that big of a deal

I can tell by the look on his face that she had racked him. I told her what she had done and she said that he won’t remember as he’s too young. I told her that I have been wrecked five times in my entire life and I could give her the situation and every single one of them as I remember everyone of them perfectly. Yes it is that big of a deal

Soho_Jin 61 6h14m

"He won't remember, he's too young," is an utterly horrific sentiment to have. Holy shit. If the pain is happening now why the fuck would it matter if one day he forgets? We all forget everything when we die. Many people get dementia when they get old. Since one day everyone will forget, that makes everything fine? I guess the White Bear episode of Black Mirror is morally justified?

Sorry to rant about this to you, haha. For some reason that line made me feel an immense surge of anger.

migraine201 25 8h56m

kind off topic, but it's the same attitude that assholes use to mutilate baby boys hours after being born without anesthetic for a pointless, unnecessary and barbaric practice.

overmind87 5 13h7m

Imagine if some scumbag roofied a girl and raped her, and his defense was "it's fine, she won't remember"?

Fun_Yogurtcloset_652 2 11h55m

Sorry in advance for my ignorance but what did she do to him what is 'racked'?

Applepieoverdose 78 4h35m

strapping boots on

I’m gonna need an address

justsomeplainmeadows 38 5h2m

Oh.... oh no

JapiePapie 25 7h47m

Or oh yes, depending on what you like

TraditionSeparate 15 7h56m

i volenteer to take his place daddy...

Lolbotkiller 22 6h15m

Trust me its not fun.

A friend was staying over with me for a night, parents called me, i wanted to jump off the couch, suddenly a leg is in my balls.

Might not have been a direct hit, but lets just say i was struggling to breathe and get up...

calle30 12 6h0m

Had gallstones. That felt worse.

SuperVancouverBC 8 5h23m

I wonder if the same is true for the clitoris considering it's one of the most sensitive part of a woman's body and it's on the outside, not internal like the ovaries. Or is it childbirth? Kidney stones?

I wonder if the same is true for the clitoris considering it's generally the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Or is it childbirth? Kidney stones?

NerdyFrida 20 5h49m

Generally the ovaries are seen as the female equivalent of the testicles. They are equally sensitive to pain but protected inside the body. They can hurt like heck in there for other reasons though.

The clitoris is more like the glans of the penis. They are sensitive to touch but not as much to pain and can take some abuse.

Generally the ovaries are seen as the female equivalent of the testicles. They are equally senstitive to pain but protected inside the body. They can hurt like heck in there for other reasons though.

The clitoris is more like the glans of the penis. They are sensitive to touch but not as much to pain and can take some abuse.

CologneMom 18 8h32m

When young I had a tumor in one ovary. The ovary twisted. Pain made me curl up and unable to care for my 6 months daughter.told my 6 year old son to do his best , put her in the playpen and I crawled on the couch and hoped for death. Ovary was removed the next day.

Kidney stones are almost as bad. Child birth at its highest point too, wth me after 12-18 hours.

SuperVancouverBC 8 5h51m

I stand corrected. Although I was thinking because the clitoris is on the outside, if we get kicked there would it hurt as much as kicking a guy in the testicles?

ChoadyWalker 4 6h18m

The clitoris has a hood similar to that of a foreskin. This keeps it from getting stimulated constantly.

CarrollGrey 5 7h29m

As someone who was struck squarely with a driver on a backswing - yeah, he got both balls and the tee - the only pain that comes close is sciatica at it's most intense.

Other pain used for reference - being shot with a 30/30, being briefly in contact with 640v, having one hand nailed to a header, having all toes on right foot crushed by a front end loader...

ButterbeansInABottle 5 11h8m

Don't have kids, then. They will literally jump off the back of the couch onto your balls feet first and then when you make a painful reaction they will laugh and proceed to do it again.

They will run up to you and kick you right in the nuts. Why? Because they think your misfortune is funny.

Even when I was a child I made the mistake of kicking my dad in the balls once. He fell to the floor I got him so good. When he got up and grabbed hold of me, he opened the front door, and literally threw me out into the yard before locking the door for the day.

It must be some preemptive sibling rivalry instinct or something, but it's not fun. It's not fun at all.

broshrugged 3 9h24m

You're old enough to use a computer/phone and post on Reddit, but have never been hit in the balls by ANYTHING? Teach me these ways of avoiding pain.

StarPlatinumZaWorldo 3 10h39m

I have seen a study as well, where they simulate a kick to the balls on several women (by using weird machines that connect to nerves to simulate the pain). They mostly say it's worse than giving birth to a child.

Timepassage 2 6h3m

I recommend doing a 50/50 on a rail.

justsomeplainmeadows 2 11h47m

Not sure what that is but I don't think i will.

Suburb4nJ 2 7h12m

My kidney stones beg to differ

satriales856 2 9h31m

You’ve...never taken a hit to the balls? Never even moved when your shorts were twisted funny and smooshed one a little?

farva_06 3 10h35m

Grog say no crush man dangles will have more child.

NicksAunt 52 5h2m

Idk what other people call it, but my friends and I call the instinct to hold your balls and/or penis while laying down or sleeping, “home base”. I know I’ve passed out with my genitals in my hand many times, but this is usually under bed covers and thus, goes unseen. When I was I kid it wasn’t uncommon to see my dad passed out on the couch in front of the TV, with his hand down his shorts, snoozing away after a weekend working in the yard.

I’ve seen many of my friends do this as well, and one of our buddies called it going to home base. Idk how common this is, but it’s hilarious to me.

DJDanaK 25 5h42m

Women do this too, but for us it's probably the warmth.

Sunbunny94 5 12h20m

For me it's something I do when I'm not feeling comfortable. For whatever reason, I can sleep 10x better with my hand between my legs.

No idea why this works, but it does.

can-opener-in-a-can 4 8h54m

Putting them back in their carrying case.

Dead_as_Duck 50 4h1m

That's why my dick and balls never get stolen.

INTJ_woman 5 8h18m

i laughed so hard at this

kai7yak 43 8h16m

I’d say we have an ever present sense of where our penis and balls are

Ok. Another woman with another question.

I don't ever think about my vulva (except for the very rare times an underwear band catches the side weird or something).

Do you ... how the fuck do I word this. Do you feel your penis and balls moving when you move? Do you have to kind of consciously adjust for them when you sit/stand/walk? Or do you not ever really think about them except for that weird moment when something gets caught?

I hope that made any sort of sense.

PlanetLandon 57 8h41m

I think there may be a misunderstanding about how gentle men have to be with our goods. We don’t even really notice or think about them unless we are doing something that involves the use of the penis, or we just got a football to the groin. For most of the day it might as well be an ear or an elbow.

Kingfisher_ybw 50 10h20m

The "ear"analogy is really good. Or even the eye. You don't stab your eyes when putting on sunglasses, you just know where they are. But boy does it hurt when it goes wrong.

Mongoose39A27 20 10h3m

Yeah something like this. It's not unlike an arm or finger as far as feeling it and knowing it's there, but no muscles to move it so you squirm/move your body or legs, or physically move them when needed.

But as as far as not needing to be that gentle, we also have a learned sense of just what and where will hurt, so can very easily avoid that in ourselves. Whereas a woman handling them may do really well or not that great depending, most tend to be too gentle though.

aferretwithahugecock 4 15h0m

I'd rather someone be a little too gentle than go full g.i Joe Kung Foo grip on my Johnson.

matt2316 27 10h2m

So, I wanna add my thoughts on this one.

Do you feel your penis and balls moving when you move?

Sometimes... not all the time, but sometimes. It's kind of like your shirt against your body: it's there and and it is always touching it, but generally your brain is conditioned to ignore it, because it's a continual sensation.

That said, yeah, there are definitely times that I'll notice it... for instance, maybe a year ago I switched to wearing boxer briefs at work instead of boxers. For one, because I'm on my feet and active all day, and that gave me a little more support and reduced the risk of chafing (something I would definitely notice!). But it was also because there were times when my penis would manage to work it's way and fall out of the front flap, and I'd suddenly realize I could feel it rubbing against the rougher material of my pants, and then have to find a way to surreptitiously maneuver it back in.

We'll also very much notice if things get stuck to the side of our thigh, lol. And I'd say that I do often enough have to make some kind of adjustment when sitting down or standing up, but thats something that's more natural and less conscious. Usually you'll just do that by shifting your legs a bit and letting everything settle into a better spot.

readonly_user 8 11h10m

Think about your boobs, you're probably aware of them making sure you don't catch them on shelves, bump them into doors if you're sideways, or drag them across other people?

Same thing.

It's not an obsession, but you kinda are aware of them all the time.

Nobody_Pure 3 12h53m

Or like a sports bra. If you’re running with low support you’ll notice the swinging and it can be painful.

JointMan47 5 10h7m

I’m not even moving and I can feel my penis and balls. I can also tell when it’s hanging and when it’s shriveled.

I’m not even moving and I can feel my penis and balls. I can ask tell when it’s hanging and when it’s shriveled.

ohreekus 5 11h46m

The best way I can explain it is it being similar to your tongue in your mouth. You know it's there, but you're not always consciously aware of it. Sometimes when you become aware of it, it can get really uncomfortable for a while. But lost of the time, we know, in the back of our minds, that they're there, and worth protecting.

Tipart 3 11h53m

Yeah you don't really notice that much. Unless the foreskin slips, at which point I do actively adjust, because its kinda painful to have my naked dick touch my underwear.

Also, balls move on their own to adjust for temperature differences, so having to feel them the entire time would be kinda annoying. I guess it's like breathing, now that I mentioned it, you can probably feel your breathing too.

Texas_Cloverleaf 3 13h17m

Look up proprioception, it's one of the senses they don't teach you about in school, basically means "knowing where all the parts of your body are in relation to each other". Similar to the other commenters post about ears, you "just know" where things are and what state their in and if something needs to be done about it, 99% of the time its just a background task for the brain.

JoeCyber 9 3h48m

Lol ever present sense

vitorkap3 2 4h1m

Schlong Awareness

DebilitatingFart 3 9h18m

Biggest fear is sitting on my balls when I go to take a shit. It's never happened but I'm still alert waiting for that moment.

AlexanderTheRemedial 4 9h53m

I find it helps to raise the lid first.

ApteronotusAlbifrons 3 11h36m

I’d say we have an ever present sense of where our penis and balls are

I was once asked by a young lady what she could do to blend in a little, while pretending to be a man (as part of an act)

I suggested that she have a look around the bar and notice that every man - sitting, standing, leaning against the wall - who wasn't otherwise occupied, always had one hand or the other within a few inches of his groin

Hand in a pocket, or on a hip, thumb in a pocket or belt loop - doing a full on Al Bundy with a hand down your pants - whatever

It's something we do to protect ourselves and it makes us comfortable - so we unconsciously do it when we relax

peppersrus 4 12h17m

Ladies LPT (assuming all consenting parties): if you sit on the lap and we rearrange slightly, don’t jump off - we want you there and are merely making ourselves more comfortable

LatrommiSumac 3 5h9m

You say that but I've sat on my balls many a times and it hurts.v

CaptainHindsight212 211 1h29m

Also it's worth noting, guys can sit on their balls, and every man on earth has done it at least once. But that one time instilled a deep seated subconscious awareness of the possition of our balls and we automatically adjust when sitting to avoid it happening again.

When guys sit with their legs closed, our balls wind up either sitting above our thighs or hanging below them. Hanging below can only be done once he's already sitting so they can be compressed but not crushed but if they're on top we run the risk if them getting crushed if something drops on our laps.

We manspread not to "assert dominance over women" or to feed our ego by taking up space or any of that bullshit, we do it to avoid discomfort and potential trauma to a very sensitive area of our bodies.

cellendril 88 2h14m

This man balls.

Seriously, I’ve sat on my testicles more than once in my life. It isn’t fun.

Mickologist 35 2h35m

Oh man, when you're in a rush to sit back down after commercials or something, and they just swing under at the last second. Ouch

DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 26 2h48m

Im imaging a particularly hot and humid day with loose fitting pants.

OceanManified 1 3h20m

Wear loose fitting boxers and shorts 100% of the time at home and cannot remember the last time I sat on my balls.

How do you guys sit so that it happens clearly much more often than it does to me?

Do you not squat into the seating position?

OhBuggery 2 5h28m

Balls are different for everyone man, you could he having one of those days where they just hang super low for no apparent reason you know? Hell maybe you've got perfectly formed balls? Who knows, it's all just balls.

Zayl 2 10h18m

It's the reason I've started investing in better underwear that have a proper compartment for your junk. It's life changing.

ur_grandma_gay 2 11h4m

have you ever gotten your pp stuck in the zipper? I did that ONE time and had to make sure it was still there now I take an extra few second to make sure it's out of the way of the zipper

Dantien 74 2h45m

I wish more people understood that for some men, particularly ones with large testicles, "manspreading" is done to avoid crippling pain. I know many men abuse that, and it can be excessive, but it's a fact of life for many men that sitting is not comfortable.

Azuzu88 62 4h17m

Its also worth noting that mens hips are different to womens for just this reason. For most men it requires active effort to keep their legs in a closed position.

penguiin_ 77 7h16m

For most men it requires active effort to keep their legs in a closed position.

only men? sounds a lot like my ex

Azuzu88 8 8h49m

This is the best possible reply

MeLittleSKS 8 8h25m

this. the legs/hips are at a different angle.

jpflathead 3 15h59m

I was banned from /r/AskScience asking about this when I suggested to the moderators that the removal of this question about hip biomechanics was maybe not the objectively stupid question that a geology phd student in charge of the queue that day had decided in rejecting my question

OldNeb 3 18h50m

Don’t forget the differences in the pelvis size. I’ve done a bit of… clinical observation, and while a woman can seem like 1/3 pelvis, I barely register my pelvis as a distinct body part.

Zrex_9224 35 4h10m

It's also done by men, like myself, who have larger thighs and are really trying to avoid any discomfort down south. Specifically chafing.

Halfgnomen 14 8h58m

My thicc ass thighs may save lives but they're also a danger to myself.

scrambled_potato 4 11h39m

You know what they say

Thicc thighs save lives

nimbledaemon 7 9h7m

I mean really, the closest I can comfortably keep my legs together is about 20-30 degrees (which means I can put both fists in between my knees). Any closer than that and I have to actively push my legs together, and there's a point where manual readjustment of stick and stones is necessary. There is no comfortable way to cross one leg over the other and have my thighs be touching, though there is the figure 4 cross method which is still with the thighs apart. I hear it's really bad for the knees though. Basically telling me not to manspread (for certain stringent definitions of manspreading) is asking me to flex my legs for the duration. I can keep my knees at the same width as my hips, and I generally do if I have to sit next to someone, but any more becomes increasingly uncomfortable.

Sunbunny94 4 12h44m

It basically puts pressure on your knees in an unnatural way. Which causes them to adjust to that shape and then they don't follow the typical range of motion and it causes life long knee problems.

I'm currently going through this and I did it my entire childhood. My knees are fucked beyond repair and one day I'll have to have surgery to fix it. Horrible to be told that when you're 25. Don't let kids cross one thigh over the other. It causes deformities and life long issues, including lots of physical therapy.

nimbledaemon 3 13h41m

Is that with the thigh crossing method or figure 4 method? Because I've done the figure 4 method pretty often, and at 29 I guess my knees aren't too fucked yet, but I've never managed the thigh over thigh method.

Sol33t303 6 9h35m

and it can be excessive

I don't see why it matters in the slightest IMO.

It uses up more room, so? I feel like there is only a very specific set of circumstances where thats actually going to be a problem, like on public transport (if it's full with nowhere else to sit) or maybe like on a plane.

Those are the only two situations I could imagine it causing problems.

GlenBaileyWalker 6 11h55m

I got huge thighs, low hanging big balls, and a bad hip. I hate when I get dirty looks for man spreading. I’m not trying to be excessive or take up too much space. All I want to do is sit without pain. On public transportation, I sit when I can and try to make myself smaller but after awhile I can’t help to spread. At that point I have to get up and stand. It’s easier give up my spot than having to explain

MrDude_1 3 14h15m

yeah, I have massive quads and thighs from years of cycling in my youth and keeping it up with squats, deadlifts, etc.
I also have narrow hips, cool for having that wide shoulder, narrow hip taper BUT.... when I sit, my legs go outward. not straight ahead. straight ahead is ball crushing unless I sit down JUST right and my pants allow it.

ChoadyWalker 12 6h20m

Nothing worse than hitting a huge bump on a riding mower, having it buck like a bronco, sending you out of your seat and directly onto your balls.

Landscaper problems.

kneecaps4dinner 2 9h11m

Small balls club here, I've never sat on them thank God

GarranDrake 129 25m

I’d say that it depends on where the weight of the person is. If we’re being straddled, then some of that person’s weight is resting on their legs on either side of us. Thus, not as much weight is on our crotch. Then again, it also matters what position our genitals are in.

PhilxBefore 3 11h44m

To better protect yourself, put your genitals inside the person straddling you.

stonk_frother 93 54m

There are definitely bad angles and good angles, but finding a good angle isn't difficult.

ShinyJangles 3 13h4m

I ignored a bad angle once and got testicular torsion. Fortunately it resolved itself but it hurt like hell. It was back in high school and my gf had been sitting on my lap for maybe half an hour

demalition90 73 2h29m

So fun fact, but the actual shaft of the penis can take a lot of abuse when flaccid, and even a lot of pressure when hard as long as it's uniform and not piercing. When flaccid you can twist and bend it and even tuck it in between your legs and hold it there, and while it's a lot more sensitive when hard you could comfortably fit an entire human's weight on it if it's a belly or bottom or something else cushy enough to distribute the pressure.

The fragile thing isn't the shaft it's the balls, and the balls are fairly easy to slide around to avoid damage. If someone or something is on my lap I can leave a gap in between my legs and let the balls rest there, if my legs are squished together I can have my balls on my lap, etc.

DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 52 2h51m

One thing to mention is too much weight at the wrong angle on a hard penis can "break" it. While it is not a bone of course, you can snap some of the tissue when its erect.

ChoadyWalker 11 6h22m

Just ask Dennis Rodman. He broke his dick 3 times.

His story is on YouTube with comical cartoon recreation for your viewing pleasure.

I'd hardly call that pleasure

kingcrabmeat 3 7h33m

Balls on your lap. This imagery doesn't make sense to me.

PhilxBefore 5 11h45m

How'd he get the beans above the franks?!

SnooBooks9468 3 12h8m

Sit down with your legs side by side together. The balls are either down below the thighs or on top of the lap with the dick resting on the balls. Either is plenty comfy.

Kind of looks like having a rat on your lap right there lol

Sol33t303 3 9h40m

Yeah this seems to be a common misconception.

The shaft and head usually take a bit of force to hurt. Just look at all the men who jack of furiously with the grip strength of a rock climber.

It's the ballz that you gotta be careful with, their squishy meatballs, the shaft is (mostly, if a bit flexible) solid.

SkoulErik 64 2h22m

Does this mean when a man's partner, or significant other sits in between his legs, it doesn't hurt any more than sitting on legs themselves does?

If it hurts him, you'll know. He will make a quiet "humphf" sound and reposition himself. We learn very early in life to make sure we don't hurt ourselves with these sorts of things, so generally he will fix any potential hurting himself

Vegetable_Word603 48 1h0m

Depends on how well endowed the man is. Then again, everyone is different and has had different experiences. Plenty of times I would drop into a couch and have em slapped so to say, or a slight pinch. Plenty of times I had my partner at the time sit downninto my lap, and I would have to adjust her weight. Don't even get me started on wearing a 5 point safety harness. You get the idea.

FreedomPaid 22 7h17m

Used to wear a safety harness fairly often. Usually rejusted my junk so I had what I can only describe as a stripper bulge. Wasn't horribly attractive, probably not very professional, but it was a whole lot better then one of the boys getting caught between my leg and the strap.

Vegetable_Word603 4 13h26m

The stripper buldge, yeah we all had em LOL.

Worse part is, the way the ladies check you out. Obvious AF lol.

savageinthebox 13 8h10m

Very few positions/situations hurt the penis/balls…as long as the penis is flaccid it can bend a lot and even get a little squished without pain. The real problem, if you’re interested, is one of your balls sticking to your leg on a hot day. If you’ve ever seen a man shaking his leg and taking weird long steps with wedge-foot like stance…this is all part of the ball un-sticking dance.

absoluteenergy313 11 2h33m

Lol I would accidentally sit on my exes penis before and he’d just move me.

ThrowMeAwayAccount08 5 8h3m

To add, balls are temperature regulated, meaning on hotter days they will “drop further” or sag as to keep cool and retract on colder days to keep warm.

GiorgioBroughton 2 3h52m

The penis is pretty maleable flesh. Think of sponges - when they get compressed, the lay flat and adapt to the surface they are molded to fill, but then quickly expand back when released.

It’s only when the penis gets too compressed that they could pinch a nerve or if it gets slapped abruptly - then it hurts.

The balls on the other hand are not only positioned a bit lower and in between the legs, but are not spongy. Sit on a man’s balls and you may see him squirm or shuffle. That’s because testicles are made out of fibrous tissue.

Lecheau 1 5h15m

When I cross my legs, my balls are under the leg the that is raised over the other leg, and my penis shifts to the same side as I'm crossing over. It does hurt if my balls are not dangling and are between my legs, bc then I would crush then with my legs. Think of it like the OP of this section said, but also that the balls dangle, so due to gravity, they're resting in the little space between the bottom thighs if we're sitting with our legs very close to each other. Uncomfortable, but not painful (unless it's not fully dangling and it's stuck to the inner thigh bc of sweat or whatever). It's more comfortable for us to sit with our legs apart. Also by uncomfortable, the best I can describe it is very slight pain nudging us and letting us know it needs room, nothing unbearable.

Ulanyouknow 257 3h36m

Female underwear and pants are significantly tighter than ours.

I swear some pants people wear today look like they were vacuum sealed. Like, the only way to remove them is with scissors.

SuperVancouverBC 142 5h31m

That's what it feels like wearing women's clothing. Also no pockets :(

GoneWithTheZen 71 14h54m

And the dreaded fake pockets. Why?

myfriend92 39 15h5m

Because pockets apparently aren’t fashionable 🤷🏻♂, as in having actual pockets. Still gotta look like you do.

WanderlustInPangaea 31 15h43m

Plus, retail outlets can make more money selling purses and handbags because... you know... no pockets 🙃

TheWinRock 30 18h31m

It's obviously the first thing I check on any first date.

1) Does it look like she has pockets? Yes. Ok, good.

2) Does she actually have pockets? Yes. Disgusting. Date over.

JustMeStoppingBy 15 16h5m

I've been told it's because pockets add bulk, so hinder efforts to look slim.

MsAtropine 3 21h27m

I know nobody asked for this but Bernadette banner's video on women's pockets she has a pretty wonderful explanation as to why our pockets disappeared

Lizalfos13 3 16h4m

Encourages women to buy a bag/purse. It’s also cruel. Give us pockets!

squirrel_acorn 6 14h48m

as a vaccum pant wearer myself, yes. Sometimes it's even hard to pinch enough fabric together to open the zippers 😂.

Except for the part were ur skin can't breathe, they're not that uncomfy! Wild. The things we do for fashion

chickentittyramen 161 2h0m

I usually pull my ballsack up when i cross my legs sitting down. So the ballsack stretching doesn't hurt because its just a bit of skin, and then the balls rest on the legs instead of between them. The penis rests on the balls. Its snug but quite comfortable.

DogssLover420 100 2h56m

When you say you pull up your ballsack, what do you mean by that? Like are you grabbing them with your hands and physically readjusting them? Also a woman and just curious

Swarlsonegger 133 3h33m

You don't really cup your entire balls but you just have to pull a bit of the skin directly under the shaft and it'll rise enough so you can put your legs under that.

It's basically a magician move to do it without anyone noticing but I do that too.

HellfireOrpheusTod 63 5h15m

The manly way is the gentle cup move, court your balls

Swarlsonegger 46 5h16m

You can't really cup your balls when you are wearing pants tho.

It's a sleight of hand type of move for me

HellfireOrpheusTod 48 5h19m

Idk I usually wear somewhat loose fitting clothes but even if my belt says no I use all my might to break the barrier to escort my countless children up to a safe haven.

nomadic_stone 28 12h35m

...why else do you think they make mens jeans with actual pockets??

Been "cupping and tugging" in position through the pocket damn near 40 years

nustedbut 14 14h17m

everyone knows, we all just try to avoid eye contact and pretend it didn't happen

TheLostRazgriz 4 12h47m

If you have pockets just put a hand in, align fingers at one side of your balls and then do a rolling scoop to get under and lift out.

jsgrova 4 13h50m

You can't cup your balls while wearing pants, but you can somehow finely manipulate your ball skin?

blackjesus 3 12h12m

Yeah you need to put your hands in your pants and then you can cup them.

Background_Half_4568 3 13h17m

See i dont cross my legd in the traditional sense so much as i do the triangle sit where one leg is down and the other is resting on my thigh typically with the bottom of the shin or the ankle

cokeandkola 3 15h4m

Thank you, I was thinking I was l left out by not pinching the sack forward, I as well go with the ole scoop. If you catch me, you catch me

EmeraldPen 7 12h21m

Just gonna say it: people absolutely notice you surreptitiously grabbing your balls.

russellamcleod 7 13h33m

It’s like hoisting your petticoat before crossing a puddle.

Also, no one should care if they notice. I’m so sick of people being weird about me wanting to be comfortable.

“Adjusting my genitals, avert your eyes if it bothers you.”

Draken09 3 14h8m

I take advantage of deep pockets, and used them to obscure my hands when making adjustments. Everyone deserves big pockets.

OceanManified 23 3h24m

Not him, but I tested it out to be sure and yeah it worked. Never really thought about the movement before, but it is literally just lifting them out of the area where the legs would squeeze them. At least, it was for me. His response is still pending

OptimusPrime987 4 11h41m

Kinda yes. I assume the quote "A foolish man complains about torn pocket, a wise man uses it to scratch his balls" will be enough to explain the rest.

Odd_Toe6047 4 13h19m

The first time as a young man that you are put in formal situations and attire you begin learning how to do subtle rearranging with a leg shift, belt adjustment, hand in the pocket. Most guys have done some strangely creative things at some point to avoid looking like they're just full on fondling themselves in public.

aDragonsAle 3 12h20m

Like lifting a boon to put on deodorant for the overtly breast. Cup and lift.

As a guy that hasnt skipped leg day, this isn't optional for a lot of sitting positions. (Especially during summer... Cripes)

migraine201 2 9h8m

think about where the mons venus is on your own anatomy.

actually better yet, the male organs are much higher up than a womans. the scrotum starts where a woman's clitoris is. it's in front, not in between the legs. with the penis even further up towards the belly.

so when you are standing the scrotum rests in front of you thighs, not in between. the risk when you sit cross legged, is that the scrotum will drop in between the legs and a small movement will give them a very uncomfortable squeeze.

so you literally grab you balls, hold then while you sit down and cross you legs so they don't slip in between. they now rest about where your mons is.

imanutshell 2 6h7m

You know that if you dip one of your legs first to get it below the balls then cross the other one over it you don’t even need to touch them to get the same effect right?

Just a little tip to stop any guy that reads this from getting weird looks on a train one day. Should work for all but the meatiest and medically irregular of nards.

ladylilliani 36 2h29m

Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful reply! This isn't something my husband would ever think of verbalizing. We have a son, so this is useful information just in case he ever encounters uncomfortable underwear or whatnot.

Also, I think I'm going to buy some boxer briefs to try. Other than granny panties, I find most underwear make me have to pick wedgies all day.

the_spinetingler 3 11h52m

boxer briefs

I'll bet this meets with approval from your husband, as well (not that you need it, but it may be a bonus).

I think they are very flattering.

Shamewizard1995 3 15h8m

I don’t think it’s a question of if but when. I think it’s a pretty common experience for guys to have to figure out how to be comfortable down there in clothes, just due to the nature of how erections work. Penises work themselves into weird positions and tight spaces when soft then get very uncomfortable when getting hard. I remember being around 8 and calling it “the twisties”

Steve_French_CatKing 32 1h34m

Lululemon would like to interject about making men's clothing that has 0 testicle room

RichiZ2 38 8h29m

Because it's male clothes designed by women.

Same happens (happened?) With female underwear for decades, they are uncomfortable, they didn't have the right shape, they fucking stabbed the wearer, etc.

All of this because it was a man thinking what looked best and not what worked the best.

Pd Am a man that has sisters and mother.

Steve_French_CatKing 11 11h29m

Lululemon was designed by a man, but okay

GoFidoGo 12 8h9m

They're not made for studs like you.

sadafxd 27 4h34m

Crossing legs is an issue mostly for non skinny people, because they have no gap between legs.

SuperVancouverBC 6 5h19m

As a female all I want are comfortable underwear and pockets. Real pockets

DJDanaK 6 5h47m

Yeah but boxers aren't comfortable imo as a woman at all, and the fact that loose lady boxers that sit away from the vag aren't sold in any shop I've been in would agree with me. We have discharge and periods and not really anything that needs space. I've never had an issue with my underwear being uncomfortable unless I was wearing it for fashion and not function, and even then it's rare (although can't stand thongs, why anyone likes a sweaty piece of fabric in their crack is beyond me)

SpcK 6 8h38m

Also thighs aren't metal, they squish too.

orwiad10 5 7h53m

Speak for your self bud, I sit on a nut every now and again and it sucks big time.

MotoMkali 5 9h28m

Guys manspread due to how our hips are shaped. Our legs splay naturally.

sioux612 4 9h36m

Isn't there an aspect of anatomy that also plays into the "manspreading" stuff?

Something along the lines of "muscles grow differently so males have their legs spread as a natural rest position, women rest them closed"

aickletfraid 3 10h29m

I think it has more to do with narrow hip bones. But yeah, menspreading has less to do with your penis.

mtflyer05 3 5h10m

I like to compare male underwear to a comfortable female brassiere, for a female with large breasts. It actually makes it more comfortable, for me, at least, as my testicles dont swing around when I turn sharply, they bounce less, and it prevents chafing.

misterpankakes 2 10h33m

I honestly think that manspreading is a bullshit machismo thing a bunch of insecure dudes agreed on. I remember every guy saying "ow ow ow" the second their knees met in a "test." Basically code for "my dick and balls are huuuge!" Which again is code for "actually my dick is tiny and I don't want to be humiliated by my peers," which is yet more code (unbeknownst to them) for "my dick is probably average size, but I am sure that I am inadequate, because I heard women love 12 inch dicks"

Zero22xx 2 10h38m

Even "manspreading" can be avoided by simply adjusting your junk or by wearing appropriate underwear. I've actually been thinking of switching from boxer shorts back to old school 'underpants' because with boxer shorts it becomes a case of picking a leg for Mr. Johnson to go down and leads to uncomfortable situations like really needing to adjust in public or having sweaty balls ending up stuck to your leg. Underpants actually seem way more sensible for an adult because they cradle your goods and hold them in place without a dumb seam knocking it all off centre.

Lost-Abbreviations58 2 11h2m

I'm really bored. I don't know why I'm reading about ball placement on reddit.

littlegik 2 12h10m

I think it’s also worth mentioning that the pen is is not that sensitive to pain. You can pull it, stretch it, slap it, and even wrap it. Without feeling all that much pain if any. Balls on the other hand are very sensitive but usually are shriveled down and essentially stuck to the front /bottom of our pelvis, or if it’s hot it’s getting stuck to our legs. But briefs do a great job of holding everything together in one spot even if it’s hot.

WimbletonButt 1 5h46m

Male clothes wearer here, y'all really know how to not smother a crotch to death. I don't know why women's clothes insist on smothering it like they think it's gonna try to get away or something.

Aoki-Kyoku 1 6h9m

Thank you for answering this question so throughly, I have often wondered about this myself

InnerJumpx 2559 57m

Forget sitting on them. Did you know that the testies can get tangled. Happened to a friend of mine in the middle of a work shift — screamed. Had an ambulance take him away. Doesn’t seem fun.

Forget sitting on them. Did you know that the testing can get tangled. Happened to a friend of mine in the middle of a work shift — screamed. Had an ambulance take him away. Doesn’t seem fun.

DuneBug 1527 2h5m

testicular torsion is the stuff of nightmares.

gab-onandon 745 4h10m

Had this in high school. Wasn't doing a thing. Just watching a movie (Not that kind).

Thought it was growing pain. (Wished*)It was not. Not too much longer I was in the hospital. Next day? Surgery.

Apparently they compare the pain to that of the bad side of kidney stones.

mtflyer05 371 5h12m

My father has bad both, and I have seen the 2mm, caltrop-looking, spiky rock he passed through his urethra (he collected it in a strainer, under instruction from his urologist), and he said that he would rather pass 3 of those in a row than ever get his epididymis twisted up again.

ArchyRs 186 6h47m

I have never had my jewels twisted, fortunately. Twice in the past year I have passed kidney stones.

My body decided after 20 years that my favorite cereal (Frosted Mini Wheats) is dangerous. The first time it happened, the pain was novel in its onset. When you stub your toe, for instance, you face the brunt of its intensity and subconsciously understand that it will decrease and fade away. You don’t get the benefit of that with kidney stones. The acute sharp pain on a local area is constant; no relief or sudden break from its intensity. On my first occasion, I stayed up all night sitting down in the shower adjusting the water temp from hot to cold just to force some perception of change in my sensations. When the IV was all hooked up in the hospital and they put the pain killers in, I legit dozed off in just ten seconds.

I fucking love cereal though. I also love not having kidney stones... Growing up blows.

wydidk 69 7h22m

Maybe it's the milk instead of the cereal itself. I don't know much about stones but my dad had so many and was told to stop drinking so much milk, which sucks because he loves it. I thought it had something to do with the calcium.

ArchyRs 92 7h34m

Yeah so the calcium deposits are the major factor, that is correct. In my case, they actually did a lab breakdown of the stone I passed. They came back to me with the explicit recommendation to avoid whatever forms of “shredded wheat” I had been consuming. Six months of no Mini Wheats and all is good. I roll the dice and buy a box at the store… A week passed and sure enough I have another kidney stone.

Your dad’s story sounds more typical of kidney stone patients though from the reading I did.

wydidk 39 7h40m

That's pretty cool that they could pinpoint it like that. Sucks though, I love shredded wheat too but can't eat cereal anymore due to tooth sensitivity.

fizikz3 23 9h15m

Maybe it's the milk instead of the cereal itself. [...] I thought it had something to do with the calcium.

there are several types of kidney stones, but the most common type is made of calcium oxalate

a bit of common misinformation is that this is due to too much calcium

Calcium is Not the Enemy.

But it tends to get a bad rap! Most likely due to its name and composition, many are under the impression that calcium is the main culprit in calcium-oxalate stones. "I still see patients who wonder why they are getting recurring stones despite cutting down on their calcium intake," said Dr. Jhagroo. "I've even had patients say that their doctors told them to reduce their calcium intake." A diet low in calcium actually increases one's risk of developing kidney stones.

Don't reduce the calcium. Work to cut back on the sodium in your diet and to pair calcium-rich foods with oxalate-rich foods.

wydidk 4 10h17m

Thanks for this, interesting

garchoo 3 10h36m

Wait what? I just turned 40 and have been eating Shreddies for breakfast for 35 years. One day will my body just start making stones??

Tacostittiesandyeets 30 5h34m

Damn I remember football practice in 7th grade and a classmate had to go to the hospital cause his balls twisted in the sack.

14inchpianist 18 6h9m

Exactly the same happened to my friend playing football ("proper British football" not freedomball) when he was about 10. Never heard a true agonal scream before then hahaha. Poor guy.

Wonder how common it is and if the risk of it happening is more when young?

Thailure 3 5h13m

What's the good side of kidney stones?

gab-onandon 3 12h25m

Flip them over like a pillow?

(Some kidney stones can be manageable, pain scale spread is immense)

shrededpudding 3 10h56m

Can confirm, pain between kidney stones and torsion is pretty similar. Phantom limb syndrome also applies to the balls too

Cole__MacGrath__ 44 5h40m

I had something like that. It wasn't torison, and it wasn't an infection of any kind. My urologist was stumped. My sonogram came back clear. (I asked the sonogram operator what the sex of my baby was - she didn't laugh.)

So the urologist just gave me antibiotics and poof. The pain I'd been experiencing went away. It was the kind of pain that made me fold down like a lawn chair, as if some Casper jerk sneaked up on me and nailed me in the balls.

There are times it still hurts but doctors have not been able to figure out why. They just asked me to wear jock straps for support when it starts hurting and it seems to do the trick.

migraine201 21 9h11m

if antibiotics cleared it up, you probably had epididymitis and they did not pick it up on the test.

it can be excruciating

Can confirm. Almost lost my left nut a few months ago but the staff at the hospital was amazing. The doctor said I only had about an hour before my ball died, so they prepped me for surgery and got everything done super quickly. There’s almost no scar visible now as well. But yeah, worst fucking pain I’ve ever felt in my life. To all who are reading this, if you expetience sharp pain that just gets worse, don’t wait for it to just pass. Get your nuts checked asap or you might lose one if you take too long.

OptimusPrime987 5 12h4m

But losing a nut won't be that serious, or am I wrong? It'd be like losing a kidney. Don't get me wrong tho, I'd dislike losing any of them as much as the next person, I'm just curious.

LOVE_COCAINE 10 12h11m

Yeah, you can function well enough without a nut and shouldn’t have any issues honestly. They reassured me that going -1 on the ball count wouldn’t have too much of a negative effect. But it’s kinda like titties - 2 is better than 1.

OptimusPrime987 3 12h14m

Yeah symmetry pleases eyes.

wildflower0078 3 10h19m

So I’ve always wondered about cocaine…what’s so great about it?

Honestly, stay away from shit like that. It starts out fun and it’s super enjoyable. You’re the life of the party, you are the party, you’re super social and feel on top of the world. Then when the effects drop, you feel like your normal old self and that’s just not good enough, as you want to get that “amazing” feeling that you get when you’re on blow. Not worth the time, money and damage that you will do to yourself or to the relationships that you have with your loved ones. Granted that that’s a bit of an extreme case but it’s really easy to get hooked and much more difficult to admit that you now have a drug problem.

grassybuttcheeks 22 6h1m

Knew someone who got this from getting head from a chick when he was in high school. She was playing with his balls and landed up twisting them.

chaos8803 5 7h28m

Just seeing the phrase makes me shudder and fear.

Bananacowrepublic 4 10h39m

The most pain I’ve ever had was when I was about 14, I’d been feeling groin pains for about a week or so, which would hurt whenever I moved my left leg right down the inside of the limb and in that whole area’s left side.

Went to the doctors and they immeadiately sent me to surgery with the warning that it was probably torsion, and that they’d try to save the testicle but thought it unlikely given the time period.

Woke up x hours later and got told it wasn’t actually torsion but that some sort of cyst/spot/flesh lump or something of the like had twisted.

Considering how painful that was, I cant imagine the real thing

grape_pudding 132 3h49m

Im in the hospital right now waiting for surgery, had testical torsion about 3 days ago. Wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.

tiled_floor 49 4h1m

Same bro! Been recovering for the past 10 days. This the type of shit I wouldn’t wish on anyone. There’s no downplaying the pain I felt that day.

TrevinoDuende 67 4h17m

What are the odds you find two dudes with testicular torsions in one thread? This makes me afraid it’s more common than I think

tiled_floor 18 4h40m

My doctor said three in a hundred thousand, but don’t quote me on that

DrBootyShakes 3 14h33m

200k a year diagnosis in the US. Its said to be rare but that ain't rare to me.

Milleuros 3 10h44m

Add a few more. I had that as well, so did a classmate in high school.

Woke up in pain. The pain was intense so it "irradiated" a lot and I couldn't identify the actual source. Went to the doctor, who then sent me to the hospital. As time went by, it got painful enough that I needed assistance to walk around. Got a surgery at around noon, they tied my balls (internally) such that it would never happen again, and luckily I came by early enough that I didn't lose a ball. I stayed one night in the hospital and I got so bored that I insisted to get back home on the next day. And I did.

I think I stayed home for a few days after that but it was 10 years ago, memories are fuzzy.

gowatchanimefgt 2 5h24m

Don’t believe every story you read on Reddit.

Megafayce 1 4h51m

Something tells me it has to do with the cold, where they’re already shrivelled up and have less distance to curl in a knot. Mentioned above I got kind of half-twisted driving my motorbike and now some weeks later they still ache

Retodd780 2 5h40m

You can look forward to the scar getting bigger every year:). I had an accident with a Lego bucket as a kid.

vomitoff 1 5h52m

I will henceforth try to restrain my balls to whatever position they are in. Hope you recover soon!

BigWilllly69420 112 2h32m

How? What happened wtf

wordserious 411 2h52m

Not OP, but it has happened to me. Not as bad as that description, but still pretty painful. I used to commute by bicycle and apparently that time I sat with my testicles slightly to the side, as opposed to being symmetrical and flat. About one hour of constant pedaling pushed them, little by little. I was noticing a small bbut growing pain, but I wanted to get to work. When I dismounted, that's when I really felt it. Called my doctor, got an emergency visit. She probed it (carefully) and pronounced the verdict: testicular torsion. She told me to feel the affected testicle with my fingers, notice that it was twisted, and carefully work it back to the normal position. And then to take it easy and not ride the bike for a few days.

94rellic 152 4h16m

The multiple likes and the lack of any comments tell me there's a multitude of dudes that cringed too hard to comment, but were appreciative enough to know this is a thing, so managed to give a like.

haethere69 29 4h22m

I'm surprised I made it this far lol you're so right.

Braisrg5 12 5h44m

Yeah I'm cringing right now, jeez, it hurts even to imagine it

94rellic 1 5h58m

Right? It sounds like getting kicked in the nuts but consistently and internally.

daneguy -3 5h6m

Upvotes aren't "likes". Upvotes should be used for comments that contribute to the discussion, even if you don't like them. See reddiquette.

nacho_s 33 4h15m

wait wait wait, so just by "moving yourself" your crooked testicle, it returned to its position?

They didn't have to undergo a surgical procedure?

I ask in case something like this ever happens to me, it would be nice to know I guess

Hunter_Lala 32 4h37m

Yes but I'm no medical professional, so I'm not going to be taking that 50/50 chance of doing it myself and making it worse and losing one or both of my boys

Mikisstuff 30 5h12m

Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

MrAppleSpiceMan 3 6h24m

but which end goes right and left? righty tighty- one side is going right and the other is going left. lefty loosey- one side is going left and the other is going right. I'm confused by this. every time I have to tighten or loosen something and someone says that I have to tune them out and just imagine opening a bottle in whatever orientation it's in

but anyway yeah man shits fucked. balls and stuff getting twisted. yikes

sorator 4 9h26m

I'm not a doc, but my understanding is that it depends how severe it is and how easy it is to undo yourself. Also, if they do surgery, they can add some "anchor lines," so to speak, to help keep it from happening again; I don't know if they wait and see if it's a recurring problem, or if they may go ahead and do that after just one severe incident.

wordserious 3 5h29m

I think it depends on the case. In my case, it was not too impossibly twisted and I was able to (carefully) untwist it. In the presence of the doctor, should something go wrong. She told me that she could do it, but that it would probably be easier and less painful if I did it myself.

gowatchanimefgt 10 5h21m

Did you untwist it by rolling them like baoding balls?

wordserious 3 5h31m

They did not twist themselves around each other. One of them spun a little over 180º , twisting the vas deferens and testicular artery in the process.

gowatchanimefgt 2 5h34m

GametimeJones 3 10h19m

Not as bad as that description

It can be. A buddy of mine had to have a testi removed because of it.

wordserious 12h24m

I am sure. I just meant that my own experience was not as bad.

LilPoutinePat 2 9h58m

She MADE YOU UNTWIST THEM? holy fuck. I was lucky enough that they untwisted in the shower, but fuuuck. Most painful moments in my life (happened twice, had corrective surgery). Don't let your older sisters give you wedgies.

txgb324 45 3h5m

This public service announcement should explain it.

anonymustanonymust 4 6h8m

And my mom said cartoons aren’t educational.

I have 3 words for my mom. Stop. Touch. Tell!

h1psterbeard 3 5h16m

Showed up to post this - awesome!

FirthTy_BiTth 3 5h0m

It happens to a small percentage of males roughly from the ages of 14-25. Unless you're one of these few people, your balls won't twist on their own.

You'll have to pay a premium from a lady you met online for that.

kykaiboi 1 3h19m

Bell clapper syndrome I believe. Basically the testicles aren't anchored as they should be they can get twisted due to physical activity. That's called testicular torsion. I'm sure it's as painful as it sounds

Felixicuss 1 3h36m

I know three people who had that happen. It can happen just like that or when you get hit.

All three had to get surgery, the one who it happened to just like that had to get it fixed twice before it stayed in its position.

flamingospacemarine 21 4h8m

I can confirm, it feels like getting stabbed in the kidneys every 30 seconds. So if you wake up with excruciating pain in your lower abdomen and a mild pain in one of your balls, rush to the ER.

Konmanhit 4 4h15m

It happened to me a month ago, while waiting for it just in case it got back to normal by itself cause it had happened before, i tried googling about it and what it really was cause at that time i had no idea.I got so scared of the fact that i might lose it after some time that i rushed to my room and rotated it myself, immediately after rotating i felt a huge relief and so i knew it was the right way.

nmj510 7 3h48m

In high school I tried to twist my boyfriends balls to the other side. I had no idea you shouldn't do that. He wasn't really cool with me touching his balls after that.

gowatchanimefgt 3 5h28m

Do me next

rtha87 5 5h35m

A friend of a friend dislocated his thigh. When the doctor popped it back in they didn't realise his testicle had shifted and it got caught in the socket. They had to dislocate it to get it out again.

SunglassesDan 3 6h8m

Either that friend lied to you or you are repeating a bullshit story. That literally cannot happen, and even the most cursory look at where those parts of the body are would have revealed that to you.

ArchyRs 5 6h52m

Nah man I once got my testicle stuck in my nipple after tearing my Achilles. It was soooo bad.

towelavenger 3 9h40m

I have gone over 30 years without worrying about this. Why would you do this to me now?

thecrusher112 2 4h36m

I had a temporary torsion (it's the only thing I can think it would be). Just a totally debilitating pain when I stood up from bed - then I sat down again and it was gone. But honestly it's bad enough to make you want to faint.

Megafayce 2 4h48m

Actually did it to mine driving my motorbike. Thankfully it didn’t twist completely and “dropped” back into position. Just had a mild stomach ache on my right side throughout and had to go to ER just to make sure.

brawnandbrain 2 5h50m

I guess I have a new paralyzing fear….. I think I need a quarantine after that exposure.

InnerJumpx 2 6h11m

This happened probably 10+ years ago and has been my fear ever since.

cyborgborg 2 6h46m

this is the stuff that creationists can't explain. If we were designed then why does stupid shit like that happen to us?

InnerJumpx 3 7h9m

“Fuck this dudes testicles in particular” -God

Pro_Shende_PK 2 9h25m

Reading this gives me pain

TheAlestormGuy 2 11h14m

Have had this while sleeping, woke up screaming and had surgery to fix it

heafcIif 1 4h9m

I had to be operated so that doesn't happen to me.

EctoJesse99 1 4h32m

I get this from time to time and it's a nightmare

El-Clinico-Magnifico 1 4h33m

just a scream. I fucking shit myself.

blinkysmurf 1 6h7m

Happened to a buddy of mine. We were skiing and he Wiley Coyote’ed a tree. Balls twisted in a knot.

He grew up a lot those following days.

DottieNerveX 1 6h9m

As a woman, I can honestly say I’d never want my tits to get tangled

InnerJumpx 1 6h12m

Don’t knock it till you try it?

cngrss 839 S 56m

we just remove it and put it back on whenever we feel like it

tyretravks 317 4h34m

Detachable penis 🎵🎶🎵

DiscoJanetsMarble 24 11h28m

King missile

lorealashblonde 7 5h52m

That’s my ringtone

shapu 10 10h13m

That does explain why the daycare fired you....

bdfortin 3 5h38m

Saves a lot of hassle.

Twentyhundred 3 13h6m

HertzRent-A-Donut 2 7h8m
BallsofSt33I 455 10m

That’s why we have to fart - the farts keep the balls floating around the penis

Anonymousmemeart 240 1h44m

Ah yes, the Bohr-Rutherford testicular model.

loveismydrug285 42 2h1m

Ahh the Rutherford Methane particle scattering experiment. Methane molecules get deflected towards the penis tube and keep it afloat.

mtflyer05 19 5h13m

Erectile dysfunction is merely due to a lack of flatulence, don't you see?

sloan-so-bad69 2 9h37m

Bounce house penis

OkOpinion4856 3 7h27m

Thank you for your knowledge 🙏🏿

I_Keep_Trying 375 6m

That’s why the whole “man-spreading” thing is bullshit. We need to give those things room.

Mortei 285 12m

“Of course you can close your legs fully you don’t need THAT much room”. - The “my genitalia are biologically tucked away” gang.

Dantien 67 2h46m

I cant close my legs while sitting. AT ALL. Sorry ladies.

mtflyer05 17 5h14m

Try anabolic steroids. They make your testicles take up a lot less room.

Dantien 5 9h15m

I’ve pondered that as a solution. I’d love smaller balls!

Dickbutt_4_President 42 9h23m

Leaving out that male hips are aligned differently than the female’s... They get a choice. Either I sit comfortably, or they need to be ok with me shoving my hand down my pants, repositioning my stuff, and then narrowing my legs. Personally, I think just letting me sit comfortably is the most respectful choice for all involved.

CourageousChronicler 2 10h43m

Yes. I spread or I pull my junk up so it rests above my inner thighs. Then my hands smell like cheese and nobody wins.

gradstudent1234 9 10h56m

i think its about being considerate w/in reason

nandru 8 12h31m

This pandemic made me realize the fatter you get, the harder it gets to keep your legs closed while sitting. Not only because it will crush your genitalia but the tights gets so big they cant be closed without force and discomfort

ben876 7 14h8m

When people complain about manspreading they're talking about guys who spead their legs a mile apart. Everybody knows that guys need to spread a little bit to give the schnuts some breathing room. Also male leg bones diverge from the pelvis and female leg bones converge from the pelvis.

69alt420 0 8h13m

How come we don't need to man spread while laying down? Laying on our side/back we can put legs together (or is it just me)

SJHillman 2 8h55m

I find it just as supremely uncomfortable when laying down as when sitting down. Maybe more so.

JayKomis -1 9h20m

False. It’s more about the shape of the pelvis and how it differs from men and women. Look at the way men stand versus women. Our feet are farther apart, relative to the width of our hips. It’s just more of a natural position for the feet to rest at a wider stance than women.

geodebug -7 9h32m

Lol, no.

If you’re on crowded public transportation and taking up more than a single space with your man-spreading it’s not because of your balls, it’s because you’re an asshole.

Happy cake day.

Carnivorous_Ape_ 4 10h18m

I'm sorry my thighs are so muscular that combined with my spread I take up a lot of space. I'm not risking popping a testicle and risking the life of my future children to give you room on public transportation.

geodebug 2 10h29m

If your thighs are so unnaturally large that they are tightly clasped together even with your knees shoulder width apart then it may be time to cut back on the ‘roids.

SubjectDelta10 -8 8h6m

i think the top comments in this thread demonstrate exactly the opposite. having your legs wide apart is not needed to prevent our balls from being crushed, because they’re in front of our thighs and not directly in between. that’s why it’s even possible to cross your legs one over the other without making scrambled eggs.

Tedrivs 4 8h46m

It also depends on pants and underwear. If your clothes doesn't fit well it becomes harder to sit with your legs closed.

youknow99 3 9h14m

There are also drastic differences between men. Think of it like women's' breasts. They come in different shapes and sizes and are higher on some women's' bodies than others. This is not one size fits all.

jasminumpolyanthum -43 31m

But men can cross their legs, yes? Like how much room do you need

Edit: yall idk about the downvotes but I am asking this question in good faith. Genuinely wondering how much room you need.

Edit: yall I am asking this question in good faith. Genuinely wondering how much room you need.

callothumpian 64 47m

However much the feminists decide we need. After all we only 'manspread' because we are exercising our male privilege.

yh125dg 38 1h20m

Sieze all the room. MANifest Destiny

Size all the room. MANifest Destiny

Carnivorous_Ape_ 3 10h11m

Noob_DM 49 1h21m

Depending on your pants/junk situation not always.

ozanbuyukmetin 30 1h33m

Yes. But you'll notice most men who cross their legs cross them the American way (one shin on the other's knee). This is because while there is room to move there isn't enough room to stay that way. Think about it like wearing a bra that kinda fits but not comfy enough for you to wear for long. Same for dudes.

jasminumpolyanthum 13 2h8m

Ahhhh that’s a very apt comparison

jasminumpolyanthum 3 2h22m

Also: why is crossing at the ankle not more popular than spreading out?

ozanbuyukmetin 12 2h35m

I don't have a general reason but I have 2 of my own I can give.

I've realized over the years that regardless of how athletic I am it's still harder for me to keep my legs close because my inner thigh muscles get tired after a while. Also crossing the ankles doesn't really negate that it just makes it less forceful. It's like a rubber band. Sure it holds you in place but doesn't mean there isn't tension.

The other reason I can give is related to posture. You try and scoot down a little while sitting on a chair you'll see that you need support from your legs more than you normally would. Combine the two and for most guys spreading their legs a bit while sitting in a relaxed position becomes natural. Ofc I'm not trying to justify assholes who take up more space than they need but acting like dudes are doing this over some weird reason is just assuming bad faith.

jasminumpolyanthum 2 3h54m

For sure. And not sure how I came off, I’m just trying to clarify that I’m not coming through in bad faith! I’ve just seen lots of men cross their legs and take less room on public transit so I was wondering what the thought process was behind it. Thanks for your thoughtful answers.

ozanbuyukmetin 1 4h38m

No problem. I get that differences between people make it harder to understand since to one side it's obvious but to the other the idea is new. It doesn't help that there are a lot of people here who want to turn the discussion into a pseudo intellectual argument about social issues at every turn.

soul1001 2 5h14m

For me at least if I sit with one leg across the other for too long the one on top starts to go numb which is bad when you need to get up quickly.

wordserious 16 3h3m

I guess it depends on the person and the situation. In my case, I need about a 40º angle between my thighs (yes, I just measured). Anything less than that requires constant muscular effort to maintain and makes me extremely conscious of where my balls are, because I feel that I am getting closer and closer to the point where I will crush them. I don't sit the way I do to take up more space or to exercise my male privilege (although I am aware and agree that it exists). I sit this way because sitting with my legs closed can be anywhere from downright uncomfortable to painful.

jasminumpolyanthum 5 3h50m

Interesting, thank you!

Idesmi 9 2h59m

Most men don't because it is uncomfortable. You can definitely keep you legs straight forward with no need to take two seats of the train, but crossing them is something I don't do and will never willingly.

MeerkatNugget 6 3h38m

For me it’s extremely uncomfortable. I know other men who thinks the same and some who can sit like that no problem. So I would say it depends on the person.

Nastypilot 2 10h5m

Crossing the legs get kinda tiresome after a while because it is not a relaxed position, because you kinda need to keep one of your legs from falling down to the floor, and like anything involving your muscles, unless you've trained, you're not gonna be able to keep that position for hours on end. Also, maybe it's just me, but whenever I cross my legs I feel the muscles connecting my femur and pelvic bone stretch uncomfortably.

TheChocolateBarsGuy 1 1h42m

Yeah if you have small balls and dick.

Zrex_9224 4 4h15m

Not always...

jasminumpolyanthum -6 2h21m

What about tucking? Ive heard that doesn’t hurt. Why is cross legged different than tucking?

Idesmi 12 3h1m

Tucking is not healthy

TheChocolateBarsGuy 11 2h33m

Tucking has fertility side effects and it's mainly used by transgenders and drag.

Well there is many crossed leg types. The only one i am comfortable with is one with a manspread too. I have big legs i mean HUGE due to lifting. Skinny guys can pull off crossed legs but even they have to be careful because you might pop a ball if you are not careful.

Overall it's really a stupid discussion because i will spread my legs and do not give a shit what some feminists think. There are balls and big you know what between my huge legs so they have to deal with it.

ruski_puskin 368 2h1m

I'm noticing a really interesting trend.

Guys sometimes get suprised as how low vajajay lies, and gals get suprised how high up the penis is.

talented_fool 243 2h33m

It's almost like we don't know how the other gender does sex organs until a partner let's us use theirs...

ruski_puskin 127 6h1m

And even then our profitiency is questionable.

watson895 33 9h27m

Well yeah, a lot of the time it's dark and you're half cut. Or she's super self conscious, so you can't sit there looking at exactly how it's put together.

BustinArant 32 12h28m

Yeah I always forget to sneak in a miner's headlamp.

findmebook 4 12h38m

friendly correction :)

Nezzie 3 12h57m

Looks like I forgot to pick up proficiency in female genitalia when I made my character sheet. At least I picked it up for my own genitals though.

nonexcludable 6 15h16m

I remember a fairly sheltered (i.e. no porn) friend I had when I was a teenager describe a doggy style sex scene in a movie as 'anal'. He just couldn't get his mind round the idea that the vagina could be accessed that way - thinking if it as being a hole on the front of the body.

Valalvax 5 11h56m

Lol first time my hand was in my wife's pants "lower.... Lower.... Lower" touches very top of it and starts rubbing around "no lower"

RoggIsReal 3 11h20m

Vegana entrance is where your balls would end Peenas is above where your clit (if there's such a thing because it's probably a myth) would be

Sun_dog_2021 2 9h40m

Put them together and what do you get? zippity dippity doo!

OneMoreThanU 359 1h54m

Simple answer.....Dick is in front of you. Balls are at two different heights.

kwagenknight 68 8h47m

Also to add to this, they contract or hang depending on different things so in colder environments or even when guys are stressed or adrenaline is pumping the ball sack can shrink and tighten towards the body. Some people Im sure shrink/grow a lot and others not as much but its enough for its purposes of getting heat or staying out of the way.

Aqedah 4 14h11m

The other week when I sat to pee I realised my left bollock had retracted completely into my body... I thought it was gone for a few seconds.

So yeah they can just suck up into your body or even one at a time, I've discovered.

kodayume 3 16h51m

Also they tend to hang more when in fever, indicator for future parents.

Gettheinfo2theppl 47 10h23m

A big thing people aren't mentioning is thigh size. My thighs are bigger than most due to being latin american and growing up doing Taekwondo (lots of leg work). My balls are never under me always in front with my flaccid dick on top. I always have a bulge.

So tight jeans and people sitting on my lap can get uncomfortable but the penis and balls are like kittens they can be squished a little and fit into whatever space is needed. That's the real answer for OP.

Langernama 20 11h10m

Unexpected sudden comparison to young pussies

omninode 3 14h0m

I’m in my 30s and only recently found out it’s normal for the balls to be at different heights, so they don’t crowd each other. I always thought I was weird because my left nut hangs a little lower. Nobody told me!

Seattle_gldr_rdr 276 1h51m

The testicles actually have a lot of room to move within the scrotum, and they don't hang at the same height either. They are able to adjust into one-above-the-other or one-in-front-of-the-other arrangements that save space. And now a word from our sponsor, IKEA.

DiscoJanetsMarble 31 11h31m

Try their meatballs!

Nastypilot 10 9h6m

Assemble it yourself: men's genitals!

khyrian 4 17h49m

meeseekstodie137 260 56m

as others have said our anatomy luckily has it that our penis and testicles are just in front of our legs rather than between them (which, thank god, I can't imagine how painful life would be if I got crushed every time I closed my legs), that being said, when we sit down our testicles typically rest on top of our legs which isn't a perfect system because there are times when we don't sit right and they get pinched briefly unless we adjust them (even as I type this in my pjs I can feel my testicles resting comfortably on my legs), there are also thigh gaps which our testicles can fall between when we sit, but not every guy has them so again its not a perfect system, as for sitting cross legged again it's more anatomy, I personally don't like to sit crosslegged but that's more because I have bad knees and it's uncomfortable to sit in that position but they typically just tend to take up whatever space is available (again, it's because our penis and testicles are more in front of our legs than between)

talented_fool 58 2h28m

Cross-legged like ankle on other knee, or cross-legged as in one knee on top of the other? Because option A is quite comfortable, while option B is uncomfortable for me. It can be done, just more repositioning and even then not the best.

hornycactus05 24 3h39m

For me, even for option B I do option A first, then slowly shift to B, coz there is that constant fear of pain. And testicular torsion. One day I jumped out of my bed very fast, was wearing very loose boxers and somehow hurt my testies, felt pain for 10 days, glad it wasn't torsion.

axxonn13 4 11h38m

same happened to my brother jumping out of bed.

Those horror stories and that of other gym folk is why i suck up the discomfort and use athletic boxer-briefs when exercising. They are meant to be tighter, which is vastly different to my everyday boxers, but id rather not end up in the ER saying i twisted my balls. Especially since COVID is probably making the hospitals even slower.

od2504 3 13h46m

Yeah I hate option B. As for option A, that's fine, but on a few occasions I've sat down a little too hastily and accidentally kicked my own balls with the heel of my foot. That fucking sucks

cheridontllosethatno 14 2h36m

Where does everything go when you're running a marathon.

I know it goes with you, but is it just flying all over the place? Does that hurt? Are you ever excited when it's bouncing?

Alternatewall 21 3h1m

The penis doesn't feel much pain even with too much dangling if it's flaccid and if it's not flaccid it doesn't dangle around much.

Nuts are the ones that feel most of the pain but only when the nutsack is kind of loose and a bit away from body.

But once that sack is tight the balls become almost a part of our body and don't move around as much . And this happens almost always when there's something a bit physical or confrontational type thing going on .

So marathons aren't a huge problem.

Stroganogg 8 2h59m

as others have said, when flaccid it becomes much smaller. don't think i've ever thought about my nads when running--they are designed to not get in the way. the only time they do ever get in the way is some sitting positions, and that's really the only time they ever hurt. don't think i've ever had any excitement from running, either. i'm curious now how the blood stays out; you're pumping much more blood while running, but it just doesn't happen generally

If it was just a little bit lower, i think men would just be rolling around in wheelchairs lmao unless our balls just become used to the pain

bobnla14 1 5h9m

I took a barre class and the female instructor had our knees apart and was leaning forward to stretch forward all the way to the floor while sitting on it. She said keep reaching way out and leaning all the way forward. Then looked at me and I said there are things in the way for some of us. She started laughing. Can’t be done without pain

SuperVancouverBC 1 5h33m

Does it hurt if a guy does the splits?

porcolegio 247 1h23m

You talk as if they are an attachment, but if you think of it more as part of the whole, then it isn't so hard to realize there's a place for them. Would we really survive as a species if sitting crushed our balls? Hold out your palm and see how all the fingers are uneven...now curl your fingers and they all align. Everything has it's place.

You talk as if they are an attachment, but if you think of it more as part of the whole, then it isn't so hard to realize there's a place for it. Would we really survive as a species if sitting crushed our balls? Hold out your palm and see how all the fingers are uneven...now curl your fingers and they all align. Everything has it's place.

vividnormalcy 172 2h27m

the hand curling thing is fucking wild ty for that

OptimusPrime987 10 12h20m

It's satisfying tbh

Kride500 42 4h5m

now curl your fingers and they all align.

I have Rheuma, mine don't

garlic_bread_thief 7 3h28m

Oh man how do the fingers align like that. It's crazy that I never noticed it. But I wonder what's the point of the alignment.

CovalentPulse 11 4h3m

Taking two sticks of different length and snapping them along the middle, you will always have the ends meet on a plane. Doesn’t matter what the lengths are or if the snapping sticks are actually fingers.

Taking two sticks of different length and snapping them along the middle, you will always have the ends meet on a plane. Doesn’t matter what the lengths are or if the snapping stickers are actually fingers.

nokomis2 6 5h8m

Things you learn in the Gestapo.

vicki5150 3 14h45m

I think OP has come to the conclusion the dicks get in the way because, as a woman, I can tell you that tits absolutely do get in the way - all the time!

parsons525 228 1h44m

Underwear holds it properly.

Without underwear it’s a disaster.

garlic_bread_thief 110 3h26m

It's a nightmare if I wear my boxers and go to the gym or have to run. Oh boy it gets everywhere. It's like wearing a really loose bag on the back.

WhiteWazza 93 5h9m

I Hate when it gets trapped in the treadmill

Heisenbread77 23 6h39m

Or when you are at the urinal and you drop it and it hits the metal grate in the bottom.

WhiteWazza 3 10h14m

The water is so cold

jayy-arr 5 10h31m

You need to get yourself some form-fitting boxer briefs, they'll hold them boys in place and your crotch gets a nice hug all day.

garlic_bread_thief 2 10h39m

I use briefs when I work out or run but wear boxers everywhere else. But my pp is kinda too sensitive so can't wear boxers if I'm gonna meet girls or go on a date. Random boners are annoying when I'm wearing something loose and in public.

axxonn13 2 11h42m

thats why you wear athletic underwear. I used to be the "boxers all the time" guy. almost pulled something and decided that i had to switch it up when exercising.

Poppagil28 4 10h41m

This. Without proper underwear to hold things in place, running or jumping can be painful (I’d assume similar to women running without a proper bra). Especially on hot days when the boys are hanging particularly low.

LilChnkySkrtn 1 5h51m

I haven't worn underwear in about 10 years and don't have any issues. Sometimes I'll catch a hair in my zipper but that's about it.

scotchtapesticky 104 6m

Also a woman and I too have always wondered. Especially with all the nerve endings! It’s always been a mystery to me.

Sea-Yard-1640 135 2h41m

Also a woman and same.
I’ve seen enough male genitals in my time that I feel like I should have a grasp on how they get positioned but I still find myself often looking at men’s crotches (on tv, films etc, I wouldn’t stare at a guys junk in public) trying to figure out where the fuck everything has relocated to.
Male anatomy doesn’t do much for me sexually, so it’s not in a pervy way. It’s almost like some weird scientific curiosity.
Like, it’s such a prominent area of their body when they’re naked, there’s no doubting where everything is but, once they’re clothed and positioned differently, suddenly there’s lumps where it seems like there shouldn’t be and no lumps where you think they should be.
And suddenly I’m sat here like “Where have their balls gone??!!”
Also, in tight underwear, they sometimes only have one discernible bulge. Does their penis compress against their balls that much that it forms one uniform bulge?

And why do I care so much???!!

HTC864 96 3h29m

Jesus Christ, that's a lot of thought put into our balls. 😂 When I read comments like this from curious women, I always think, "I hope they find a guy that's willing to let them learn."

Jesus Christ, that's a lot of thought put into our balls. 😂 When I read comments like this from curious women, I always think, "I hope they find a guy that willing to let them learn."

poqueus 10 4h52m

Spoiler: she ends up licking eyeballs

JeppeTV 9 9h44m

6___-4--___0 68 3h57m

As a ball-lover you'll be interested to learn our balls actually move around on their own. In order to keep the sperm at the right temperature, the scrotum will contract towards the body into a tight singular walnut/brain-looking wad or extend down away from the penis like two mangos in a plastic bag. When in bag-mode they are extremely free-floating and can be repositioned manually or by whatever body position and gravity dictates. Depending on how low they're dangling and how tight the underwear is, this could give a very solid triple-bulge. In wad-mode, they are very secure and nestled tightly into the underside of the shaft-body juncture and would definitely lead to a single-bulge look.

OhBuggery 37 5h33m

Just gotta say that bag-mode and wad-mode have ruined me and they're totally accurate. You ever been so far into wad-mode that you think one of your balls has disappeared inside you? That can happen to athletes quite often..the balls go inside the body..

RichiZ2 13 8h41m

This happens a lot when you climax during sex. Your balls suddenly decide that your pelvis is more secure than your sack, so they get sucked up

One time after a couple seconds they didn't come down, and I had to manually push and reacomodate them to their sacks residency.

VitkiBj0rn 9 9h44m

Ah yes, the brovaries mode.

okpleaseclap 17 4h16m

Duper18108 25 2h50m

Are you... are you ok?

Skithiryx 25 3h39m

Haha the flaccid penis and scrotum are pretty malleable. The penis is like… spongy. I can compress my penis to about half its flaccid height or width without feeling much of anything, for instance. And the scrotum is usually pretty loose, so the balls just kind of spread out around the penis if your underwear is really compressing (though it usually doesn’t compress much at all, even boxer briefs). The scrotum also relaxes and tightens to regulate temperature depending on how warm it is and whether it’s business time (and sometimes moves during business time! There’s a gif somewhere of a woman giving a blowjob and the recipient’s balls are fricken migrating)

The other thing women usually forget or don’t realize. is that the penis isn’t actually analog to the vulva itself, it’s analog to the clitoris and roughly in the same spot, more front than bottom. So imagine you have three little water balloons hanging from your clitoris and the back ones have grapes in them.

WindyCityAssasin2 15 3h36m

Does their penis compress against their balls that much that it forms one uniform bulge?

splodgenessabounds 6 5h13m

I feel like I should have a grasp on how they get positioned

fnarr fnarr

...it’s not in a pervy way. It’s almost like some weird scientific curiosity.

I sometimes wonder how women cope with (what seems to me) the constant irritation of wearing a bra - after all, breasts and especially nipples are loaded with nerve endings and... well, doesn't all that chafing "get on your tits" a bit?

saltybluestrawberry 3 5h31m

Most women enjoy taking off their bra after a long day. That moment can even hurt, especially on the nipples. They are finally free and you realize how much pressure there was. But the pain only lasts for a few seconds most of the time. It helps to rub them a little.

splodgenessabounds 1 5h45m

Thanks - I have wondered. Is it the pressure or the chafing/ irritation?

saltybluestrawberry 1 5h47m

For me it's pressure. Chafing is more of a problem on the inside of the legs, because female legs are close together.

lorealashblonde 1 5h55m

For me it’s the pressure of the band (I am probably wearing the wrong sized bra) and how the underwire digs in. Nipples are fine unless I’m wearing a REALLY bad sized bra where they’re just slipping over the top of the cups.

splodgenessabounds 1 6h7m

how the underwire digs in

If I had to wear underwired underpants that dig in, I'd... well I don't know what I would but I'd complain. A lot.

GreenScene33 5 3h20m

Terlet20 3 11h20m

Fun observation for you to make the next time you're out and about. If you see a guy extend his leg out to the side and shake it gently he's actually trying to shift the scrotum that's stuck to the side of his leg. Have fun!

As for the bulge some underwear just sits that way (probably by design) and it's more the shape of the underwear rather than the actual penis. Like if a woman put them on there'd still be a 'bulge'

Mortei 50 13m

It just kinda folds itself around the thighs and chills

JscrumpDaddy 37 1h19m

Men’s underwear is awesome, it can hold the boys gently but securely so that you don’t have to worry when doing stuff.

I could imagine having to be extra careful if I was fully naked and it was really hot, everything sort of relaxes and expands under those conditions.

mad_underdog 6 10h43m

If I don't wear underwear, and it's hot, I sit down on my balls all the time. Its painful.

So I always wear underwear 🤷♂

Darklightjg1 10 3h16m

I think there's an over-estimation of how much pressure is being applied when we sit. Even when my legs are close together or crossed, they're not violently squeezing as if I was trying to strangle someone with them. Most of the time the junk is just positioned slightly on top of one of the thighs and comfortable.

Boxers/pants are relatively loose too for me, so plenty of room to reposition if necessary. I stopped wearing briefs at a young age as they felt too tight/uncomfortable for me.

As far as nerve endings go, I know personally I don't really think it feels any different than like my arm or something when in a normal state. It only starts bugging me when I need to take a trip to the restroom or... you know... 😏

Also, as someone who's been kicked in the groin a few times while sparring, yeah that shit hurts tremendously when struck... enough to incapacitate me for a couple of minutes. 😆

scotchtapesticky 3 11h15m

So is this the reasoning behind the “man spread” phenomenon? (Not asking in a bitchy way; it just seems like you need more space to let things not touch for a while and breathe so to speak).

OptimusPrime987 3 12h27m

RapaciousRaptor 3 12h27m

Yea, it is. Men's hips are triangulated differently than women's and there's stuff that needs a little room. Different people have different sized stuff and different sized thighs so the spread differs from person to person.

Generally speaking, no one needs the like full on three foot "taking up two seats" spread, but some spread is generally needed.

6___-4--___0 9 4h8m

Imagine two water balloons in a plastic bag. There's plenty of room in the bag for them to move around and avoid being put under pressure.

The penis is pretty fine under pressure, it just does bad with friction.

Bigfukkendeal 89 2h18m

I have also always wondered if your penis bounces when you run? My breasts do, so I just wondered this?

aweiher98 143 3h22m

Yeah a little. But I’m willing to bet we find bouncing breasts hotter than you would find a bouncing penis

LucilleBluthsbroach 76 3h38m

You'd win that bet.

NerdyFrida 11 6h0m

Never mind the "hotness" Is the bouncing uncomfortable ? Many women wear sportbraas because it hurts when running without it. How is running without underwear for the typical man?

MechaWASP 16 9h4m

They move on their own. Like, they aren't always dangling. The sack can contract, when you're cold or working out.

In my experience, as long as I give my body a little warmup, they aren't an issue.

People are made to walk and run. It's not really an issue for most, afaik, but plenty of guys wear briefs for exercise.

NerdyFrida 3 9h56m

They move on their own. Like, they aren't always dangling. The sack can contract, when you're cold or working out.

Yes I'm aware I have seen it in action several times.
So you are saying that when you move about the scotum will typically contract? Thats interesting. Would be nice if breasts could do the same.

OptimusPrime987 7 12h23m

Yes. whenever it's cold or the man is doing a physically intensive activity, the scrotum contracts and kinda snuggles itself in a firm position.

NerdyFrida 6 12h51m

I knew about the cold but not about the physical activity.

rabid_briefcase 8 11h57m

There are running/biking shorts that are tight for the same reason. Also boxers vs briefs make a difference. If you need more support you know it soon enough.

Mercurii_retro 4 14h28m

Yeah, who hears a question about whether balls bounce and says “But it’s not as hot.” As if that’s the entire intention of breasts and running while having them?

alek_vincent 3 18h10m

I can run around naked and I don't really feel it. It's much smaller and lighter than most woman's breasts so you don't feel it as much and it doesn't make such an impact when it bounces

lorealashblonde 7 5h57m

I dunno, depends on the guy the penis is attached to.

_TheOrangeNinja_ 6 15h2m

Idk, my girlfriend loves it when I send her vids of mine twitching

pentrical 4 10h44m

Speak for yourself man.

dannywx 67 2h53m

if you run naked yes or loose boxers

balefyre 28 9h27m

Compression underwear (running, etc) is designed to prevent this and it’s doing the lord’s work.

SeaBearsFoam 13 9h50m

I tried boxers out for awhile and couldn't get used to my junk flopping around as I walked. Switched back to briefs for this reason. I also tried boxer briefs, but the extra length on the legs would just get scrunched up through the day and didn't add anything to the underwearing experience.

yacht_clubbing_seals 3 20h18m

Same thing happens to me as a woman when I wear “boyfriend” style underwear, like the little cheeky shorts. Half the fabric is being eaten by my ass and the other half is scrunching up at my hip dips.

Rottenox 12 7h55m

Of course, but there’s far less movement if you’re wearing underwear

axxonn13 5 11h51m

women have athltic bras, men have athletic underwear.

Whether they are briefs or boxer-briefs, they are designed to be a bit more snug all around to keep things in place. I dont understand men who exercise in boxers - recipe for twisted balls.

TheSeaSquirt 4 12h51m

My penis and balls shrink waaaay up when I run or play sports. (I’m assuming it’s like this for most guys) It’s basically the same as being really cold, my balls shrivel up and look like they never dropped, penis goes to less than half its normal size so it’s really compact. This minimizes the bouncing so I don’t feel it at all. Once I’m done running and relax it all goes back to normal size. At least it’s gone back to normal size every time so far…

jakehub 3 15h32m

If you run fast enough it starts spinning like a propeller. We call that “the helicopter”

Balls can get a nasty thump on the thigh if you do something weird with changing your stride. Your balls shift position a lot, largely based on temperature. Sperm is pretty fickle when it comes to temperature, which is why the balls are external to begin with. So when you’re cold, they come up. When you’re hot, like when you’re exercising, they hang lower to get further from your body heat. Not like, down to your knees or nothin’, but enough they sure can get a swinging.

Also, if you’ve never been mesmerized by just staring at a sack as it shifts and the wrinkles move, I highly recommend it sometime. It’s like a lava lamp. Except made of wrinkly ball skin instead of lava.

CarefulCurrency2 84 9m

Sometimes they do. Just the other day I was going to get groceries and I was already halfway to the store before I realized my balls fell off back at the apartment and I had to turn around and go back for them. I was so embarrassed.

JeppeTV 3 9h48m

What were you planning to do in that supermarket 🤨

why_did_you_make_me 84 11m

The organs themselves are controlled by a number of muscles, causing the scrotum to retract during exertion. This helps get shit out of the way. When sitting, generally you don't sit with you legs closely pinned together - though if you need to the bits can go atop the legs.

I'd imagine it's like having boobs. You learn ways to avoid painful situations without thinking about it, and your body is designed to help you out. That said, mistakes can and do happen.

ETA: when someone sits on your lap you absolutely spread to allow the balls to rest on the chair. Also, while they're sensitive to trauma, they're not so sensitive that something like underwear is particularly noticeable - any more than a bra.

BigWilllly69420 33 2h35m

Cremaster muscle in your scrotum contracts to elevate your balls. Dartos muscle wrinkles your scrotal skin to aid temperature regulation

Dont mind me im just studying my anatomy exam coming up in a few days 🙃

melyssafaye 3 12h50m

Mistakes can, and do happen with breasts too. There have been several occasions where I have slammed a breast into a door or closed a cabinet door or gym locker on my nipple. It was an unfortunate situation of leaning over while bending down and the door closing faster than I’d anticipated. 1/10 would not recommend.

Rainyreflections 3 13h44m

And omg it's like watching a lava lamp! My guy was a bit unnerved by me staring at his balls from the underside (lying on the bed in front of him), but it's so intriguing haha.

Edit: and it seems that it is the dartos I have watched. I only knew the cremaster(s).

seriousname65 18 41m

But bras are straightup torture

RyuTheGreat 32 47m

Can't say that is necessarily true from what I've read. I've seen plenty of women say that a proper fitting bra feels like nothing to them. And if it feels like "torture", that perhaps said woman isn't wearing the right fit for her measurements.

jasminumpolyanthum 18 50m

Yeah, that’s been my experience. It did take me several decades and thousands of dollars, but I found the bras that fit, and they’re very comfortable! Unfortunately, they’re expensive and I need to buy multiple every year because they wear out.

BolasStormblessed 16 46m

Burn em. Shirts off. Free the nipple.

Big-Red-Husker 56 52m

I've sat on my balls multiple times it sucks something fucking horrible. And it's always a painful surprise

LickHerLovely 56 5h25m

I sat down once really quickly on my sofa straight onto a testicle... through pure reflex i went completely straight and essentially slide off the chair on to the floor, much to the confusion of my siblings I was with. Followed shortly by "I just sat on my balls"... then curling up, into a ball! Its only ever happened once and it... fucking... hurt!

OptimusPrime987 6 12h28m

They way I cringed 😬😬😬😬😬. I've never sat on mine and can already imagine how bad that'd hurt.

PartlyRowdy 3 16h46m

What a perfect time to plug my favourite video ever

the-original-chad 44 1h38m

The dick is super adjustable and doesn’t hurt that bad when crushed. It can flatten out or mold to its environment. You can punch the dick hard and it won’t even hurt. The balls are what you gotta watch out for. Merely flicking the balls just lightly can hurt super bad. The balls don’t take up that much space but sometimes you just have to adjust yourself depending on your circumstances.

pennylane382 12 7h24m

Well, now I have to punch a hard dick. For scientific purposes, of course.

ThisFreaknGuy 6 9h18m

It's like getting punched in the arm or a more sensitive finger. It hurts and you definitely feel it, but it's not a bring you to your knees type of pain.

axxonn13 3 12h14m

careful... some men are into that sort of thing.

That-shouldnt-smell 37 32m

Give it time. In a few years you will sit on your balls.

danishbac0n 43 2h48m

Unlikely considering OP is a woman

Woodwithadrift 10 2h51m

It happened to me my first time on the metro. Jumped up and yelped in a high enough pitch all the dogs in a 1000 foot radius heard. Stood the rest of the commute in shame.

garlic_bread_thief 2 3h25m

Some more time and you'll sit in your balls

Carnivorous_Ape_ 2 10h27m

Do they get longer? The only time I've "sat" on mine is when I went to universal studios and sat in a seat for a ride and they have a thing that goes between your legs. Anybody else experience this pain?

KingThommo 29 2h0m

Men are embodied in a manner that is careful of the package unconsciously.

angry_gentleman07 25 15m

Penis are usually shrinked and soft when you are not horny. Also balls are also soft. Also penis is flexible it can turn around 360° Men are used to their penis and balls hanging so we usually don't notice it.

Chigirl96 17 34m

Rotate 360 degrees like a periscope? Damn

asleepbydawn 31 1h29m

Any guy that's ever taken a bath... will say that's exactly what it's like lol.

PralineApprehensive5 7 2h21m

LMAO. Why the fuck does it try to float?

asleepbydawn 2 2h33m

It's not necessarily... floating lol.

TheHappinessAssassin 9 3h3m

It's coming up for air

Thank god i am not the only one .........

FrostHix 6 5h50m

AhThatsLife 3 5h19m

You trying to twist the thing off ??

XxGuillebonxX 25 1h57m

Do your balls hang low?

HearMeSpeakAsIWill 20 5h24m

Do they wobble to and fro?

XxGuillebonxX 20 6h16m

Can you tie them in a knot?

KatherineAshleyL06 18 8h10m

Can you tie them in a bow?

_Ross- 10 9h16m

Can you throw them over your shoulder?

EdgeCityRed 12 9h52m

Like a continental soldier?

Bryanole27 10 11h32m

Do your balls...hang...low?

thedustbringer 5 14h26m
effingwhatever 19 1h2m

Sometimes things actually do end up getting crushed or stuck where they shouldn’t be. I hit the brakes in my car the other day and remembered why I don’t usually wear boxers when I leave the house. I have no idea what went wrong down there, but I almost hit the car in front of me.

For me, at least—and I think the massive variety of styles and designs in the men’s market reflect this—underwear can make a huge difference. It is, I imagine, a lot like finding the right bra design, size, and fit for your body and for the right activity/occasion.

dankhalo 3 14h3m

Indeed. My urologist told me I have “quite possibly the longest scrotum” he has ever seen. That is no joke, it’s Just what he told me. On a warm day with improper underwear I absolutely can and have sat on one or both of my testicles. It’s the absolute worst. I had to get boxer briefs with a pouch designed to house your junk. And they work great. It’s a Canadian company called Sax. They’re kinda expensive but they are very well made and seem like they are going to last forever. There are other brands and styles out there if anyone else is in this situation.

WhiskersWithClaws 18 8h32m

If you've paid any attention to how a man sits, you'll quickly learn why "manspreading" is a stupid term.

Every man is different. Some can sit reasonably comfortably while others, like myself, have to "adjust" frequently because our balls sag to our damn kneecaps.

The flaccid penis isn't even an issue. It just does its thing, barely noticeable most of the day. However, this changes when the "Instaboner" pops up, making it more uncomfortable to sit.

Thankfully, natural design has mitigated much of this issue by creating our legs to be a "pocket" when they're closer together. As for the penis, it sort of sits outside the pocket, while the balls are a bit protected.

Unfortunately, this design has one shit negative side effect: sweat. No matter how loose our pants or underwear, sweat is going to form and it's going to make things sticky. So sticky at times, things just tend not to want to move freely. It's one of the reasons I despise humid days.

As male, I cannot understand for the life of me why we don't wear skirts. The fantastic breeze (please don't ask me how I know this) would be so welcoming, and would remove so much discomfort.

Alas, I sit here in a pair of jeans and boxers, having shifted twice since writing this just to stay comfortable.

No pain, just annoyances to keep comfortable.

BustinArant 4 12h36m

Scottish knew their shit man. I say we bring the Kilt back to everyday life.

protosoilder 17 2h15m

It brings me comfort knowing that at least a few of us guys touched our balls to figure this out

AncientBattleCat 14 26m

Dick is beatifully engineered device.

xandaar337 13 2h11m

I sit on my own balls all the time. Sitting too long makes my junk fall asleep too. Fun times.

ChickenXing 12 23m

It's more comfortable and at least a lot more freedom to roam around than 2 boobs squished in a push up bra

UppityTurtle 11 4m

All valid questions. None of which I have ever pondered since it all just works. Except crossing your legs. That shit does hurt and any man who does it is just a friggin weirdo.

TheHappinessAssassin 10 3h6m

The trick is to rest your ankle on your knee. You got a perfect triangle for everything to fall into place

ISwearImKarl 2 8h27m

Doing that hurts my knee. Idk of it's just me.

nate0806 11 7h51m

Well some of us used to spread out a bit when we sat down, but apparently that’s toxic masculinity.

Cybordad 10 55m

One word: malleability

fulcrumprismz 13 2h10m

LordGlompus 5 1h29m

Powerful-Custard4830 10 1h22m

That’s not how the male genitalia works. As I write this I am seated and my penis and balls are fine. Tighty whiteys can squish your balls, which is why I wear boxers or briefs. I personally have only experienced pain in my crotch on a couple instances of people hitting me below the belt, which was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life, worse even than my head injury several years ago!

RedSonGamble 8 4m

I had issues with my balls and it hurt to walk sit down and basically do anything some days. Then after surgery the same thing. But now all better!

Scrotum was the size of a small cantaloupe though. Literally black and blue too

Jimbob209 8 20m

Ugh... Let me guess.... Inguinal hernia?

RedSonGamble 6 1h25m

Nope. Varicoceles.

Standard_Owl_2808 8 10m

Underwear. Try flopping down on your couch nude and you will understand.

XxXxShSa 8 1h47m

now why would you add that last one? you know no one has ever sat in our lap

neontiger07 8 2h22m

In case nobody has mentioned it, it's still absolutely possible to sit down too quickly or forcefully and land on the balls, which is indeed extremely painful, though very rare.

twentyfuckingletters 8 5h30m

As you get older, it becomes a real problem. I have to get out of my wife's car very carefully to avoid putting my full body weight on my left nut.

gedshawk 6 2h4m

Millions of years of evolution

Felixicuss 6 3h30m

Youve probably heard of "manspreading". From what Ive heard its common for men to expect the Female genitals to be higher, so I gues youre expecting the male genitals to be lower? When sitting theyre in front of my body and when I stand up, theyre hanging down, but still stick out, when you watch from the side.

Most mean I know dont wear slips, but boxershorts, which are like real boxershorts, but tight and not as long.

If I were to sit cross-legged, the genitals would either be parallel to the bottom leg or I would feel immense pain.

rnotfunnnyatall 6 17h18m

hence why we sit with our legs open. u get it now?

ZanaTheCartographer 5 6m

Most of the time it just tucks away into the gooch.

seriousname65 3 42m

I knew there was a secret compartment!

tDizzle_4_shizzle 5 1h9m

Uh how old a woman are you. Have you seen the cock n balls before?

Correct-Baseball9464 15 1h19m

I'm 21 and a lesbian, so I've never directly seen a penis before (and don't plan to 😅), but I have seen realistic drawings of them in biology class back in highschool, alongside photos and videos of them on the internet from time to time (mainly because I used to draw and needed to learn about the anatomy, but quit so I don't need that anymore).

I wasn't sure how men handle it when sitting, walking, etc, and curiosity got the best of me which made me post these questions here. I apologize if the questions are silly.

LeMeowLePurrr 4 1h32m

I assume its similar to how our breast feel, we're aware of them, sometimes more than other times. But it's still part of our bodies so its not noticeable?

tDizzle_4_shizzle 3 8h14m

No need to apologize I just needed background info. Interesting, all of my lesbian friends (I somehow have a lot, for a straight man) have at least some hands on experience with man junk. But anyway. It’s squishy and fills in the space between the legs and above where the thighs touch (when seated). It’s why men “man spread” and why women should shut the fuck up about it.

ohokaythen666 -18 1h56m

Just because you’re a lesbian doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a basic knowledge of anatomy.

cvnvr 19 2h38m

it’s one thing to see it on an anatomical drawing and another to understand how it behaves sitting down and moving, etc. no need to be so pedantic to someone asking questions in good faith

______kj 5 1h44m

LMAO. Why I'm getting this ichy feels while reading this post?

I'm sitting leg crossed rn btw.

Spacepotato00 5 5h23m

People here have pretty much covered it but how are legs are is also a factor.

Men's legs are angled differently so unless we are overweight our legs don't touch each other.

So even when balls are loose and swingy they don't get crushed most of the time.

wisdom_of_pancakes 4 1h54m

Who said they don’t?

AutoRedux 4 3h37m

First question: they don't sit between the legs. They protrude out and forward from the crotch. When sitting, you aren't sitting on them. They rest on the surface you're sitting on. Sitting between legs means the other person is far enough forward, they aren't sitting on your balls.

Nothing weighs enough to remotely put so much tension on the connecting skin and ligaments to cause damage. It's all connected back to the main body.

Men's underwear mainly places pressure on the penis. One of the functions of the penis is to absorb impact and pressure to protect the boys. Also, elastic used in underwear typically doesn't constrict hard enough to cause pain. Typically.

When closing the legs, you typically do it so that the balls are resting on the thighs, not between. If cross legged, again, balls on the thighs, not between. Ankle to knee makes the perfect triangle to not even need to worry about it.

dirtypj 4 5h28m

The main issue is them getting uncomfortable due to being snagged up in underwear. So if you see a man adjusting his underwear he's not touching himself because of you. He's just feeling incredibly uncomfortable in his pants.

The main issue is them getting uncomfortable due to underwear. So if you see a man adjusting his underwear he's not touching himself because of you. He's just feeling incredibly uncomfortable in his pants.

axxonn13 3 12h27m

you gotta do the side leg kick n shake.

come-atme-bro 4 10h17m

No you know why were constantly "man spreading" as y'all call it.

Bob_blah 4 10h21m

I think you may be wildly overestimating the size and weight of male genitals. You are right about crossing legs, sometimes that can squeeze a ball.

sambuka69 4 17h32m

OP, you also forgot the dreaded zipper hazard. Skills are learned, and going commando at age 12 getting my Willy tangled in those awful teeth was very much a learning lesson. More so because my Dad’s new wife at the time had to help me unzip.

thearchitect10 3 2h20m

Sometimes yes, diagram attached:

dudeiscool22222 3 2h37m

I’m gonna only address the underwear part of this because it answers most of the rest of this.

Men’s underwear is specifically meant to snugly hold our genitals in a comfortable position. If you look at pictures of them, you’ll see that the fabric has a bit of a pocket that protrudes for them. This holds it sturdy and in place.

Obrim 3 2h47m

So having read the comments I'd say your questions have been answered but a re-hash for you.

  1. They're attached pretty solidly for an organ that hangs off and are contained in an extremely elastic sac.

  2. Walking totally naked can be uncomfortable depending on a variety of factors. Mostly, though, I'd say there no pain without some moderate amount of physical activity like jogging.

  3. As someone farther down said men's clothing are cut differently so we have a bit more room. You can compress a flaccid penis quite a bit without pain and the testes have room to move around/be moved around which leads into...

  4. We move them. Out from under us, tuck them between our legs, move them if something is about to sit/fall/crash into our lap, etc. If you and your partner sit that way a lot you'll move yourself into the best position for long term contact and allow for some wiggle room.

  5. I sit with my legs crossed more often than not. Though generally everything gets positioned so there's no compression but sometimes if I sit in a hurry then, yes, there can be discomfort and a quick adjustment in that case makes life good again. I'd say that it isn't painful sitting that way because we don't tend to let ourselves get hurt since we have a lifetime of habit protecting us from just sitting down on our balls.

tl;dr: They're slightly on the front of our body, we move them out of the way when needed, our clothes fit differently, and we reflexively protect them during activities that might cause injury.

Radzuit 3 5h32m

Explaining penis pain to a woman is like explaining colour to a blind person

HippCelt 3 5h32m

where do think Manspreading comes from ? we're not doing it cos we're just arseholes you know..

obviouslyunderpaid 3 5h41m

They’re detachable. Usually for cleaning purposes but it does come in handy when we go for naked jogs.

Dfiggsmeister 3 6h50m

One testicle hangs lower than the other specifically so the balls don’t clash when walking.

Also, the older you get, the higher the likelihood you wind up sitting on your balls. It’s about as comfortable as you would imagine. Tighty whities or boxer briefs helps with that. Actually, that’s usually the recommended way to deal with sensitive balls, wearing anything to hold the testicles high and tight seems to help.

But balls also get hot and sweaty and heat damages sperm so they drop naturally on their own to cool down. The scrotum does all the work to bring the boys down or up like a flesh elevator.

With the penis, you can get chafing if you got something that’s constantly up against the penis, but rarely does it happen. Sometimes, especially younger men, wearing silk boxers is like a 24/7 handy and can get quite messy.

openrds 3 8h31m

Yes! This is an issue and I appreciate you taking a moment to consider the male experience. I’ve seen so many women complain about men sitting with their legs spread or adjusting themselves in public. Try living with a penis and balls and you’ll understand both of these behaviors.

DatabaseOk9130 3 8h31m

I have definitely sat on my nuts before

lookIngAtstacysmom 3 8h33m

Man spreading

Suns-Of-Ain 3 8h53m

Firstly, they're not going to fall off because they're attached to our body. Unfortunately, detachable penises are still in the 'wearables' stage.

Dangling when running, yes this is a problem for men. It's apparently an 'older guy' problem, I must have low-swinging balls because if I run with joggers it's like that desk toy where the spheres are hanging from threads and clacking side to side.

Crossing legs while seated; I cannot do this, because it squashes my balls. Similarly, though I try not to 'man-spread', I had an operation on my jewels when I was little, and it becomes quickly painful for me if they don't have enough space between my legs.

For most of my life I've been unable to sleep on my side, because my thighs either push my nuts to the front (squishing them in their nutsack), or to the back. Until I heard a tip, to have a pillow between knees, now my balls are snug and safe without getting crushed all night.

If you ever see a random guy who's sat down eg bus, train, and they shift position slightly then wince or let out a little shriek, that's because one of their testicles has been forced through a gap in their boxers / pants that is too small for it.

therankin 2 9h3m

low hanging balls are no fun when you're sitting on a public toilet and tea bag them right into the water...

Muzuuo 3 9h23m

kek if a man asked the equivalent of this question for women he would be called a sexist and misogynist. this is some /r/badwomensanatomy shit

FlyingFortress98 3 9h24m

Currently you’ve made every man adjust himself

Yellow_XIII 3 9h41m

I hope women who came into this thread and had no idea how male genetelia functioned in every day life, now understand why men have to spread them legs a little while sitting down.

Sure, spreading as wide as possible is just stupid, but a bit of spread is necessary some times.

Don't be like these idiots who made this vid

Imagine being this entitled and dumb 🤣

elliotborst 3 9h41m

Cock and balls aren’t between the legs they are forward.

When you sit down your legs move forward and get along side them hence the man spreading.

When we walk you kinda tug them forward in the undies.

Why do you think men’s get a bulge in the front of their pants.

devilsadvocate8282 3 10h48m

Thank you for taking an interest in our penis.

Marilyn1618 3 11h17m

I would like to add to the rest that penisses are very floppy most of the time, even more than I thought was possible when I was young.

For some years most women are used to deal with erect ones only because of sex and also porn. It was until after I moved in with my SO that I've spend some more time with his floppy penis.

axxonn13 3 14h14m

women call it floppy penis.

men call it limp dick.

doctors call it flaccid male genetalia.

artmoloch777 3 S 13h31m

I sit on my balls like once a week. If I’m hanging out naked at home and I scoot forward in my armchair, I’ll steamroll my biscuits.

angerdome 3 13h32m

I sit on my balls from time to time. It sucks.

elcidpenderman 3 13h33m

I sit on my balls and crush them between my legs all the time though

Jeckat 3 13h39m

I mean thats why we "Manspread" when we sit down

AJammedNerfGun 3 13h39m

For walking/running, they hang at different heights so there's more room, and they also hang in front of the body a lil. Sitting down, depends on how you sit and how far they hang, and for someone between the legs its hard to avoid, so they just deal with it ig. For me, at least.

Appropriate-Tutor-82 3 13h46m

They are detachable. When we don't need them we just take them off

bloodfartcollector 3 15h37m

And people still get mad for manspreading

devjj 3 15h48m

Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s.

OogleMcFatFace 3 17h20m

Go in front. When my gf sits in my lap I don’t notice that my balls hurt until after I leave

RlyRlyRlyRlyRly 3 17h23m

But they do

Archangel1313 3 17h39m

Simple answer: Manspreading. They just need a little space.

BobDaRula 3 17h56m

I sit on my nuts daily and I want to die everytime

geaster 3 18h27m

We just retract them before we sit.

abcdfghijklmnopq 3 18h45m

Crossing legs is easier than putting the legs together. I can't do the latter, I gotta manspread. But if I cross my legs I can lift my balls up with the leg that goes over and make sure my balls aren't squeezed. There's also more room for the balls when legs are crossed compared to lined up together, believe it or not.

ryanb450 2 5m

Yeah you gotta be careful

GoelandAnonyme 2 1h41m

Actually, this makes me wonder is it possible to loose circulation in your crotch if you keep your legs crossed long enough? Like will it feel numb like losing circulation in a leg or foot? Has anyone tried it?

I have never tried it, for obvious reasons, and please don't do so either.

Rxton 2 1h46m

Your balls can get squeezed but you learn as a child to avoid that, and by adulthood, it's reflex.

The penis is not so sensitive as the balls. You can take a penis in your hand and squeeze it with all your strength with low chance that the man to which it is attached will experience pain. Twisting it is another story. I don't advise twisting it.

I had several girlfriends ask questions similar to yours and I just let them squeeze it as hard as they can. None of them has caused me pain so far.

Just find a willing man and play with his.

AcaelusThorn 2 2h13m

It usually accommodate itself. But in some cases when we close our legs too fast trying to grab something that is falling we squish them

jman12311 2 2h18m

Because my thighs pushes them upward as I'm about to sit.

TThor 2 2h47m

the only time I've actually had issue is if I am wearing really tight pants, or when doing situps/crunches.

callmeswashbuckler 2 2h52m

I'm a lesbian and I appreciate you asking this question

coldestdetroit 2 3h7m

I have a micropenis it doesnt swing. As for my ball, you mean ball as in singular sense right? The pluralisation of it is a mistake... right? Please tell me its a mistake.

morbiddecapitation 2 3h15m

mdotnelson007 2 3h16m

Ma'am, this is a Home Depot.

J-Tree 2 3h19m

Memory foam with extra steps really.

-SidSilver- 2 3h23m

These are the kind of questions the Internet was made for.

hornycactus05 2 3h37m

Basically we are constantly aware of our balls and penis like the other user said. Because of evolution, and severe pain in the balls if they get hit. Testicular torsion is a thing, it can even happen in your sleep, may cause you a loss of one of both testicles, so yes your concerns are legit, you might crush or hurt your balls, altho flecid penis is very adjustable and won't be hurt in most situation. Balls are a different story. Regarding your question, if they hurt when you walk or sit with legs crossing, yes it's uncomfortable and might make you crush your balls a bit if your thighs are thicc, or you are not being careful. There are even videos of people doing it on stage. Regarding what happens when someone sits between, as our legs form a V shape and then there is our penis and balls there, hence if someone sit between our legs mostly our legs will be shielding and you won't even be touching our stuff most of the time. Altho there are good angles and bad angles.

heffman11 2 3h47m

I'm always squishing my balls, when walking, sitting down, adjusting seating position.

markender 2 3h47m

Our junk is weird. Flick a testy and it hurts like hell, but you can squish it all against your own body pretty hard. Everything is very flexible when flaccid and can be squished a lot. The balls slide around in the sack and the sack itself moves, so that allows them to slip around and avoid being crushed. Hard hits or even flicks or whips on the other hand hurt like hell, the sudden impact is devastating.

Edit: Also if you press the balls hard enough they cram up into the cavity above the ball sack.

trojan25nz 2 4h0m

Guys have a thigh gap, the space is occupied by the pee pee and ballies

imgae22 2 4h2m

it small.

Stoic-Dreamventurer 2 4h9m

While the male’s member is flaccid, it is highly malleable, think of balloon with very little water in it: You can bend it, stretch it a bit, and squeeze it a little without it breaking.

The testes are similar to two slick grapes, suspended within a similarly slick sack. When force is applied, the testes slide away from the pressure before damage can occur. To increase the safety, one hangs lower. Also, testicles cause MABs to subconsciously spread their legs, as to avoid sitting on them. This sometimes still occurs, and is a bit painful.

Also, they CAN move on their own, and even some men from birth don’t know this. It happens slowly, and generally doesn’t cause noticeable sensation.

Fexxvi 2 4h23m

OK, I'll be honest, I'm a man and I've never had these problems, but I couldn't exactly explain why. We kinda get used to having those dangling things and accommodate our walking, sitting, etc. in a way that keeps them safe, but it's so subconscious that I couldn't exactly explain how we do it.

C0DENAME- 2 5h12m

It's not like female genitals beneath us. It's more like in front. So Perfectly placed that it allows us to sit properly. It's not always the case. If it's hot out there they get way to shaggy and then we have little chance sitting on them. I don't know someone notices this or not but we first sit atthe edge of the chair/sofa matching the edge of the butt and then we slide back to get comfortable.

About someone else sitting on us, if there is not boner it's good to go. In situation of boner we simply adjust it. Someone doesn't sit on them we take weight on the thighs.

That's what my experience is. Don't know about others thought

Chiber_11 2 5h19m

everything kinda hangs out in front, so it’s not actually in between our legs. and they dont really swing. they just dont get crushed cuz they aren’t hanging in between, they’re more forward and a little up. that’s not to say we have to open our legs a bit so we dont squeeze em when we sit down. but actually sitting down and walking is just a non issue

AhThatsLife 2 5h20m

Not to brag, but I tuck my penis into my sock 😎😎😎

Gigantapithicogre 2 5h29m

You know how a daddy long legs can't bite humans because it's mouth is too small? Same concept. Can't squish a weiner if it's microscopic. My experience anyway.

h1psterbeard 2 5h31m

It can happen: One time I had testicular torsion so bad, ended up barfing for days and so doubled over in pain that I couldn't walk. Lost count of the times I sat down and hurt myself too. The genitals mainly behave themselves most of the time. What's really annoying is the random erection that pulls everything forward that won't go away even after masturbating. Remember ladies and gents - you have an erection over 2.5 hours get to the ER ASAP (I say that for buffer time for the wait at the ER)

Men usually 'hang' to either the left or the right and it's subtle, so we can sit cross-legged with no issues or discomfort and get fitted for suits and trousers.

Anyhoo, there's a book by John Updike called "Disposable Rocket" that sort of gives you an idea of what it's like - some of us are along the ride and not in the driver's seat.

Existence is painful. Friend of mine just went to the ER recently because of her period and it was super heavy and was in bed for days.

Human biology sucks and I can't wait to put my brain in a robot body.

cat_herder_64 1 6h1m

and I can't wait to put my brain in a robot body.

Just wait till you have this terrible pain in all the diodes down your left hand side - you may not be so keen on a robot body!

Jokerdhruv 2 5h41m

Idk. But How you doin ?

kadecin254 2 5h49m

You can crush it some time. Exhibit

anonymustanonymust 2 6h5m

As a man. I just ran this scenario through my head. And also pictures the female anatomy.

What came to mind was the “thigh gap” usually seen in females. I think? Men have this also... making it a safe space for my balls.

But can’t confirm. Will take my clothes off when I’m done with work to investigate.

Forest-Temple 2 6h16m

The penis does, the balls do if they are hot or you get old

Phallicus_Magnus 2 7h58m

It happens more often than we’d like to admit

INTJ_woman 2 8h10m

wait....i know it may be completely against the rules but, how can i come into ownership of this manual, i do not have a dick BUT would be good to know all the secrets of the penis

BDT81 2 8h11m

How is it that the penis and balls don't fall off? They keep dangling, right?

Like our arms and ears, they are attached.

Wouldn't that make walking itself painful?

For long distances, it can be.

What about when wearing underwear and pants? They squeeze the penis and balls, wouldn't that be painful?

Actually, underwear is designed to accommodate and even support male genitals. The cut of men's pants also allows comfort.

What about sitting down?

Watch closely. You may catch a guy having to pull up and adjust himself so that their genitals sit on top of their legs. This is also what "manspreading" is for

Or worse, having someone else (e.g. a partner) sit down in between the legs?

Again, adjustments are made to be comfortable.

What about crossing legs while seated?

Men will typically only cross their legs below the knees. Their laps remain straight.

Also, you kept asking about squeezing. A flacid penis is very flexible and doesn't really feel pain when squeezed. The testicles, on the other hand, will be very painful if squeezed.

bossrhino_is_sad 2 8h31m

All of these things happen. Yes it’s painful if the balls get trapped.

A lot of the time it just seems to work though.

hyper_forest 2 8h33m

Sometime they do get squished/squashed and sat on. And it hurts.

Nogarda 2 8h35m

After millions of years and Trillions of men Quality Assurance testing, one will have a very hard time trying to pull off a penis.

"We've all tried" - Men (and likely some disgruntled women)

arjeidi 2 8h37m

What about when wearing underwear and pants? They squeeze the penis and balls, wouldn't that be painful?

They "squeeze" the penis and balls as much as wearing a top and bra "squeezes" tits: only when they aren't the right fit.

R00t240 2 8h44m

In my 37 years of life I’ve only sat on my balls once but boy did it hurt. It was a combination of sitting down too fast and the seat being strangely shaped. Otherwise everything just kind of shifts around to avoid squishage.

Br1t1shNerd 2 8h52m

the balls and penis are remarkably versatile. Sitting they shift, same with someone sitting on our laps. Underwear isnt so tight as to trap them. Remember, penis and balls are slightly forward compared to where the vagina is located, which helps with walking.

Some1SomeWher3 2 8h53m

Out gait is different from a woman’s, and they move around. We do sit on our balls sometimes and SONOFABITCH it hurts but that few and far between. We spread our legs slightly when sitting to give it all room, you could sit on our laps and unless we aren’t properly situated we’re fine.

EvanBrugmanRhiel 2 8h57m

They are more forward than you might think. They aren’t suspended in the middle of the legs like a walnut in a nut cracker. So when I sit my cock & nuts aren’t between my thighs. They are on them.

nyanijangwani 2 9h1m

I haven't seen anyone mention that a man's balls don't hang at the same height which reduces chances of squishing them while walking.

wins_stupid_prizes 2 9h3m

They do sometimes though. We have to adjust.

Lachesic 2 9h4m

Now get older and sit on your balls… see that hurts in a new Way…

readintoitman 2 9h35m

Simple. Too small

Ewokhunters 2 9h39m

Ever see a guy sitting with his legs spread? Thats cuz balls

papsinchaps 2 10h2m

Also,the jumping jacks or like cartwheels? How's that for y'all?

kekuthewolf 2 10h6m

Guys I thought we covered this at the last secret meeting

EmeraldCelestial 2 10h11m
uncle_jessie 2 10h24m

The most painful fucking thing in a guys life is when they sit on their balls. usually looser fitting briefs or shorts do the trick. Why I always laugh when purple hairs bitch about manspreading. You carry a pair of balls between your legs that you've literally sat on, fuck you, I'm manspreading.

Monkmode300 2 10h24m

Lol I’ve squished my nuggets plenty.

Tony_Chu 2 10h39m

Sometimes they do.

Most of the time it's okay. But every once in a blue moon, a peculiarity of the specific geometry of the moment can cause a guy to experience something dreadful simply by plopping down or inviting the cat up to our lap.

Shorts-are-comfy 2 10h40m

Look, it's the same thing as with the arms.

Our penis and testicles do hang and wiggle around whenever we walk, but there's no stretch. It isn't a painful thing to do. Just as having your arm next to you when you walk.

For sitting down, well, we sit on our butts, not on our crotches. Whenever you sit down, your butt is towards whatever you've sat on, whereas the penis and balls are free and unperturbed.

When someone sits down on them, that can very much hurt, but it doesn't have to. If the person makes proper space and properly moves your dick and balls, they won't get hurt. However, if the person does actually squish the testicles, that always hurts.

Finally, for crossing legs. You'll notice this is a thing that is done by most men, but not really that often. Most of us prefer just resting one leg on the other, forming a triangle. But, when we do cross our legs, our penis shifts up whilst our balls move down, moving away from the point of contact where our legs touch each other. There is no ball squish.

TL;DR: The Penis is very squish-resistant, the testicles aren't.

AnoK760 2 11h25m

So, they come out the front. Our dick/balls arent in the same place as your vagina. Tgeyre a bit higher and more foreward.

So whej we sit, unless we are bent in an odd direction, the balls cant get past the thigh to sit on them. But it does happen.

The dick, while sensitive, doesnt hurt much if you end up sitting on it by accident. And that wont happen unless youre packing heat.

killbot5000exe 2 11h25m

You have been ill informed

ueki_laws 2 11h25m

Mostly wearing an underwear helps with keep them infront.. and you know, "man spreading" to not crush it

tHeNiGhTmAnCoMeTh413 2 11h25m

What we do is generally just roll them up together a put a scrunchie around them so they stay in one place.

Yung_Boi_Escobar 2 11h28m

The glizzy is detachable

axxonn13 2 11h32m

To answer your questions:

How is it that the penis and balls don't fall off? They keep dangling, right? If a man walks around naked, there's something dangling, and swinging loosely on his body. Wouldn't that make walking itself painful?

No, the balls and dick are not directly between the legs, they are a bit ahead. Not by much, but enough. Walking is not painful, and unless you have monster genitals, they do dangle, but not swing.

What about when wearing underwear and pants? They squeeze the penis and balls, wouldn't that be painful?

Depends on the type of underwear a guy uses. I personally like using boxers, because its like not wearing anything at all, except that they are made of a softer material so my stuff doesnt scrape along the hard denim and zipper of my jeans. I only use boxer-briefs for exercise, and i do feel they are a bit tight, but that is the point of the athletic types. You definitely dont want to pull or damage anything down there due to lack of proper support.

I am sure those who wear casual briefs or boxer-briefs prefer the extra support. Personally boxer-briefs suck because the legs always ride up your thigh where they look like briefs with extra fabric. And briefs just give you a wedgie.

What about sitting down? Or worse, having someone else (e.g. a partner) sit down in between the legs? If the penis is in between the legs, and someone else's bottoms sit on it to fit in between the legs or on top of the legs, wouldn't that be painful?

Kinda goes back to the whole, they are in the sweet spot past your legs, but not too far out. There is a thing called manspreading, and its because of the balls. We spread our legs to a near 90 degree angle taking up all the room next to us. Its the best on a hot day and the balls have been sticking to your leg due to the sweat.

And a flaccid dick kinda just moves around. So if a partner sits on you, they would have to have quite the bony ass, and actively seeking to damage the goods.

What about crossing legs while seated? That would squeeze the penis and balls more than pants and underwear do, right? How is that not painful?

I do yoga, and this one was hard at first. Yes, they would always get squeezed by the combined compression of my stomach and thighs. Eventually, i stopped using athletic underwear that kept my stuff in place and used my regular boxers. This allowed them to dangle, this they would just tuck under the thighs when needed, or theyd sit on top of my thighs when needed.

Note: I'm a woman and am just curious.

I figured. That or you were a dude in a situation where dont have balls and/or a penis.

rabid_briefcase 2 11h51m

Frequently asked question.

Women assume male parts are in the middle and squished because that's where theirs are. Guys assume female parts are up front and free because that's where theirs are.

Once you get up close and personal you see they're quite a different location than your own.

radroamingromanian 2 11h52m

Ok so woman with question: After you cum, obviously your duck is overstimulated, but what about your balls? Do those hurt to the touch after you cum?

Edit: I can try to answer anything about women in exchange.

treborcj 2 11h53m

I am at a point in my life that when I lie on my back on the bed, my balls lie down on the bed too. So yes sitting on the balls hurt and I am more conscious of that now. We constantly adjust them throughout the day.

Some noteworthy ball events:

Standing up from a sitting position - the balls stick to the side of my thigh, I pull it off so I get breathing room

When going to sit, I usually have to "hop" so it will move out of the way

Walking up the stairs causes them to slap my butt/thigh

I wear briefs when I run for the same reason that women wear sport bras

Penis does hang out with the balls but when not hard, it just goes with the flow. It doesn't seems to have the problems that balls generally do.

The issue arises when it gets hard. No I am not horny. It just randomly gets hard throughout the the day. Tight fitting pants are the worst, so I don't wear them. It can get in the way when moving through tight spaces, I just push it down and move through. Like when passing by in a movie theater.

Hope it helps.

Red_Meridian 2 12h8m

As far as walking, in the past, like 10000BC, dudes used to tie a string around their stomach and then tie up their wang into the string to keep their twig and berries from bouncing around.

Funny enough, the reason jews were circumcised was to make them dress up. They couldn't tie up their Peter without a foreskin so they had to wear cloths at all time and it prevented them from integrating into greek society. Men didn't wrestle naked, they had their willie tied up and jews wouldn't be allowed to wrestle or participate in games.

OneBigBoi509 1 5m

There is some feeling, but it's hardly noticeable. It just sits there snugly when we're moving or sitting

yeetydab 1 1h54m

I sit on mine, and others sit on mine all the time. They dont get damaged when walking due to their position in front of the thighs not between.

But when one's thighs are horizontal in the act of sitting down, then gravity can bring them down between the thighs for a squish, or if they are perched on top of the thighs while one is sitting, and another party sits on top of the thighs, the other party may land on the perched genitalia.

This is avoided by being aware of the positions of one's body parts in space and what is about to happen to that space. I am too fast or easily distracted, so accidents happen.

iceyone444 1 1h56m

Sitting on your balls hurts like a mofo....

ravix_ridamaki 1 2h5m

the flexible skin of the balls prevents it to be crushed.

simblicon 1 2h6m

It all just kind of knows where to go.

Abhimanyu_Uchiha 1 2h13m

The dick is to the front, never gets in the way. The balls are the main issue, guys have to spread their legs while sitting to avoid being uncomfortable.

vhisic 1 2h13m

its not really just dangling there like im sitting now and my balls are kinda just sitting pretty in the middle think of them like a waterballoon with fuck i dunno fleshy balls in it? cant really think of anything similar. but point is they just kinda get pushed out of the way, the main show is just tucked into the leg barely notice it. Sometimes you do sit on the balls but were talking 1/100 chance. point is they just kinda keep themselves outta the way.

Fordiman 1 2h20m

It's all very pliable, a bit like those water tube toy things, and there's a fair amount of space in your frontal thigh cleavage. Most of the time, the sensitive bits just slip out of the way. Or you spread your legs a bit. Or you accidentally shut your legs with your balls between them, and learn just that fast how not to do that again.

Also, neither scrotal skin nor dick hurts when stretched / deformed; it's literally just the testes.

small_pint_of_lazy 1 2h22m

What about crossing legs while seated? That would squeeze the penis and balls more than pants and underwear do, right? How is that not painful?

As man, I'd like an answer to this as well (it doesn't hurt the penis, but hot damn does it squeeze my balls). How do people do this? Is there something I'm missing? I cannot for the life of my balls cross my legs the same way a woman does. Yet I've seen plenty of men do it. When I have to put my (usually right) ankle on my (usually left) knee, while the other knee is just laying on nothing. So basically my legs form a triangle. It's pretty comfy though. But please men, tell me how other succeed in this without pain

lurkishdelight 1 2h43m

I can do it, the nuts just sit on top as long as everything is positioned right. If not, then it requires an adjustment, but generally it's pretty easy. I'm pretty tall, but aside from that fairly normal anatomically AFAIK.

small_pint_of_lazy 1 3h10m

I'm something like 185cm (a bit over 6 feet I think) yet I can't close my feet when crossing them. And the adjustment just makes it feel weird, as if something, well the balls, were somewhere they're not supposed to be

mejosvibe 1 2h23m

Because its soft and moldable

Bender35 1 2h27m

Sometimes it does.

thunder-bug- 1 2h27m

Penis is slightly in front of legs, so it does not really get crushed between them when walking, not to mention there is space between them for a little swinging.

Mens underwear and pants give space for penis and dont squeeze too tight. And it isnt so sensitive that having something be skin tight is necessarily painful, theres a threshold.

Penis is slightly in front of legs, so is a little above legs when sitting. When there is someone in lap penis either sqooshes out of the way or uses curve of leg to hide and not get smooshed. Or it pokes them in the butt (but that can be good).

Penis can move out of way when cross leg, remember is slightly in front of leg.

Cyberxton 1 2h30m

The flaccid penis is a lot more malleable than women would think. It literally just conforms lmao

LOTHMT 1 2h37m

The balls barely ever get squished if youre not incompetent and actually sit on them. The penis itself sometimes can get squished, for example sitting with the legs crossed or intentionally while sitting normally if we have a boner and try to hide it or at least make it not as erect.

Edit: Walking is almost never a problem, unless you feel uncomfortable with the dicks position and you have to do weird steps to get it to the right position. For the part where someone sits between your legs, cant help ya. Never happened to me :(

Mother-Trucker-69 1 2h38m

Small PP, can't relate

Xero7777 1 2h43m

if you sit on them the wrong way then yeah, pain and irreparable damage. guys do sometimes "sit on their balls" etc. it's pretty simply the fact that existing your whole life WITH penis and testicles means you're just used to them existing and making room for them most of the time. i have to maneuver my balls particularly when they're hanging low, otherwise it doesnt even come to my notice.

glasses_the_loc 1 2h44m

Testicles sit at different levels with the left testicle hanging lower than the right in the scrotum, helping them to not knock together when walking or running.

ShenziBanzai 1 2h45m

Nature's Instructions, Section 17 (a), sub section B (iii) Paragraph 593, re: Male reproductory organs. Para 597 describes in ample detail the reason male breasts and nipples were also made.

Goku3186 1 2h46m

I feel you're underestimating the sneakiness.

RoboModeTrip 1 2h46m

"How is it that the penis and balls don't fall off? They keep dangling, right? If a man walks around naked, there's something dangling, and swinging loosely on his body. Wouldn't that make walking itself painful?"

Interesting how one could think this when breasts can easily be 10x heavier and also just hang there. You never seen a woman's boob just fall off.

FBIiswatchingyou 1 2h46m

The penis and balls moves accordingly

R_6Y 1 2h47m
  1. Nah, it isn't painful walking naked. You can feel it but it doesn't really hurt and you don't notice too much.
  2. The dick is always folded or angled to one side and sits comfortably. And you could squeeze as hard as you wanted on the body of the penis and it wouldn't hurt at all. The dick itself is pretty tolerant. It's more if the balls gets squeezed or if the sack gets sharply pinched (keyword sharply), only then does it hurt.
  3. When we sit down the dick is slight above the legs, so even if we press our legs together, the dick wont get caught or pressed. Thighs are squishy too and they can't actually press that hard. If we press out legs together, the knee-caps meet before the thighs can really clamp together so the is like a slight thigh-gap or whatever. Tho it is more comfortable to give the guy some space. If someone decides sits on my lap (i can only dream), the only thing that could hurt is if the balls gets pressed somehow. Otherwise the person sits more on the thighs than the actual johnsson.
  4. It's like when we sit normaly kinda, the dick is above the pressure point so it doesn't get crushed. Tho when logs are crossed, you could say hes laying a bit more on his back than normaly.

Overall, the johnsson is quite flexible and most of the penis doesn't really hurt if you squeeze it. Also the balls can escape upwards from the sack. So if we go back to sitting cross legged, and let's say we lift out right leg over the left. The right nut can escape from sack to the pubic hair area. Kinda hard to explain but the guys know what i'm talking about.

avlas 1 2h48m

You already received a lot of good answers, I would just like to point out that a big part of why this works well is the fact that we have two balls, so they kinda push each other sideways and out of the dangerous squish zone between the thighs.

If a man has one ball removed because of testicular cancer or other problems, they often put a prosthetic plastic ball inside the scrotum for this exact reason, if you have only one it's way easier for it to end up between your legs and get squished.

aweiher98 1 3h25m

I thought it was for cosmetic reasons? Idk my balls annoy me. I’m done having kids so if I ever get cancer just fucking cut them both out while your there.

Doc_Brun 1 2h48m

Four Penis and Balls in one post. A great way to start the day

Balls can hurt, penis rarely does unless something obvious happens, such as zipper, pinching or maybe bending it whilst erect. Balls can hurt while sittning down, anything over a mild nudge will hurt aswell. Sex and they're slapping might hurt.

Apeirophobia69 1 2h49m

Sometimes we can accidentally sit on our balls, which is very painful and not fun if you do it at your quiet office job

IcanSew831 1 2h50m

I’ve sat on my balls and it hurts.

dannywx 1 2h52m

im always careful while sitting on bike chair especially getting on the sit because ur balls might get. squished

Idesmi 1 2h52m

How is it that the penis and balls don't fall off? They keep dangling, right? If a man walks around naked, there's something dangling, and swinging loosely on his body. Wouldn't that make walking itself painful?

Walking around naked can be painful only if you run (similarly to breasts) or if the penis is hard. The scrotum doesn't usually bounce.

What about when wearing underwear and pants? They squeeze the penis and balls, wouldn't that be painful?

I personally wear loose pants, so nothing ever gets squeezed. But pants in general accommodate for the sexual organ with some space.

What about sitting down? Or worse, having someone else (e.g. a partner) sit down in between the legs? If the penis is in between the legs, and someone else's bottoms sit on it to fit in between the legs or on top of the legs, wouldn't that be painful?

The penis is above the legs when you are sitting down. Also, when you are dressed, it usually lies against the belly, vertical.

What about crossing legs while seated? That would squeeze the penis and balls more than pants and underwear do, right? How is that not painful?

This is actually true for me. Crossing legs is uncomfortable, so I don't do it. If you notice, very few men cross their legs while sitting. So yes, in my experience it is slightly painful.

I hope to have added something that wasn't said before :)

fucovid2020 1 2h53m

Bold of you to assume that this isn’t a regular occurrence…. Sitting on your own balls is a thing, it can happen just sitting down…. When you’re already sitting down, crossing your legs…. And yes even during athletic activities….

jman12311 1 2h59m

When walking, do your vaginal lips rub against each other? Does it feel good?

nexusjuan 1 3h1m
Higgo91 1 3h3m

They're not exactly between the legs, they're a little bit forward so they can slide just right in between. Sometimes it is painful though, sleeping (in particular during summer) may become an hard task

angelam64 1 3h3m

And I OOP-

GrantSRobertson 1 3h5m

Very carefully. And every once in a while we get reminded of how important it is to be very careful.

justsomeplainmeadows 1 3h5m

They only dangle to a degree when I'm relaxing. Whenever I get active like the gym or hiking etc... they actually pull back up a bit, which is an involuntary instinct our body has to help protect our nards when we are moving around a lot.

As for the pants thing, have you ever seen how men's pants are cut? Thye leave a lot of space around the groin area, especially compared to women's pants. Same goes for underwear. They even make underwear that specifically has a little pouch to cradle our little fella.

As for crossing our legs or when someone sits on our lap, it's really just a matter of adjusting our position to minimize strain to the sack, the positioning of which men are keenly aware.

ExclusiveWater 1 3h8m

They enable a defense system, causing them to become iron.

BasedOnAir 1 3h9m

One thing you have to remember is male genitalia is not in the same place as the vulva is on a woman. On a man the genitalia is slightly farther forward on the pelvis, farther away from the anus. Men have a longer taint because of this. The stuff hangs off the front.

This means it isn’t sandwiched as much as you might assume. Being positioned farther forward allows it to sit in front of the legs when standing or sitting.

Also there is some slack in the sack which allows the balls a range of options within a limited proximity, allowing them to sit behind the legs when crossing legs. They can be pulled forward to be in front as well when sitting with crossed legs, but that isn’t typical for me. They always stay in front when standing though.

And balls rubbing against the thighs when walking is known as chafing and can be painful. This isn’t a problem for normal amounts of walking, and good fitting clothes mitigate this issue. But if you walk very long distances, or have clothes that don’t help, or are in hot weather that makes you sweat, eventually the rubbing can get painful. Anti chafing ointment is essentially a lubricant for this skin to ease the ball friction.

D-boi001 1 3h10m

Oh it's just the force field

nom-nom-nom-de-plumb 1 3h11m

Sometimes the great god Priapus is merciful, sometimes not...there that's your most honest answer.

Justanotherkiwi21 1 3h11m

This is where manspreading comes into play

AboutAnOxfordKarma 1 3h14m

Oh, they do

Quix_Nix 1 3h16m

The vagina is between the legs. The penis is not. It has almost an pivot so everything can move around.

However it isn't perfect, now you know why manspreading is a dumb issue.

Tonyoffshore 1 3h16m

Why do you think we spread our legs when we sit ;)

elegant_pun 1 3h17m

Because it's at the apex of the thighs, on the FRONT of the body, not between the legs like our stuff is. It sits in front and rests on a seat rather than being under the body.

MrSillmarillion 1 3h21m

The funny thing is none of that matters (except men crossing their legs. It doesn't hurt but it's just uncomfortable.) but the slightest tap on the wrong spot will make you double over about to puke. Seriously, I grazed my ball with the tip of my finger and thought I was going to die. PS Don't use Icy/ Hot as a lube.

L3tum 1 3h21m

Others haven't really described my experience with the ole guy.

Sitting down and walking around can be extremely painful. When walking around faster than normal they swing so if you don't wear clothes or some tighter underwear they can slap against your thighs, not only making them completely obvious but also hurting a fair bit. When sitting down you can have the unfortunate occurrence of sitting on them, though it is rare.

Underwear and pants do squeeze them and are a great deal of discomfort. It's also one reason why I'd prefer to have a female body, even if I'm not trans. It depends a lot on the size and cut of the clothes. Tighter clothes increase this discomfort, and idk about the other guy saying skinny jeans are enough but skinny jeans are too tight. However, if you wear wider clothes you'll have the problem from above with your testes slapping your thighs. A lot of companies have also foregone making clothes for the average male and opted to make too tight clothing. A lot of men's pants I've seen the last years looked more like they were made for a woman than for a man.

Crossing legs is painful most of the time, however most men learned to live with the pain. That's also the reason though why men have their legs further apart when sitting down than women, because they do have something dangling there. Which makes the whole concept of manspreading just a giant fuck you to every man that ever existed and speaks volumes of the intelligence of the people that believe in it.

OceanManified 1 3h26m

Have never sat on my balls, closest I've done is do the side splits on em. Women have it good in that department.

SeaofBloodRedRoses 1 3h27m

How is it that your fingers don't fall off? They keep dangling, right? If a peraon walks around without gloves on, there's something dangling ans swinging loosely on their body. Wouldn't that make walking painful?

What about when wearing gloves? They squeeze the fingers and palm - wouldn't that be painful?

What about sitting down? Or worse, holding hands (e.g. with a partner)? If the fingers are attached to the arm and someone else's hands are now fitted in between the fingers or on top of the arm, wouldn't that be painful?

What about crossing your arms? That would squeeze the fingers and palm more than gloves do, right? How is that not painful?

I'm sorry OP, I couldn't resist, hahaha. It's completely okay to not know things and be curious and ask to find out. I didn't write this to make fun of you, I wrote it because to someone who has a penis, that's roughly how ridiculous this line of thinking is. Not from someone who doesn't have one, but in general. Penis owners don't ponder why things don't get in their way anymore than you ponder why your fingers don't do the same.

No, penises don't work like that. They don't swing wildly when we're naked. They aren't squeezed when we sit down. Things don't crush them. Everyday life isn't painful. The fingers thing was a joke, but it's not that far off. Crossing your arms doesn't affect your fingers. Crossing your legs doesn't affect your genitals.

Our clothing is built differently. Flaccid penises know how to not get in the way and generally go unnoticed. When you open your legs wide, especially if you're sitting down and have gravity's assistance, balls will generally sink very slightly between the legs. But these are quite soft organs that are closely connected to the rest of the body, so as you bring your legs closer together, they'll come back up. It's a very slight adjustment.

Now, genitals can get uncomfortable. They can shift into weird positions, pinch against clothing or a hair or whatever, get sticky from sweat and stick to clothes or your legs, and yes, can be a tad uncomfortable occasionally when someone sits on your lap. But this is very, very rarely painful, and doesn't happen all the time either. So it just takes a small adjustment of the pants to quickly fix it. If someone is sitting on my lap and it gets uncomfortable, chances are I'll be able to adjust myself and fix it without them even noticing. No penis touching required. Evolution is pretty good at figuring out how to let it sit in the ideal position to not get crushed, so if someone is sitting on me and it's uncomfortable, often all it will take is a quick leg shift to fix it. It's like adjusting your bra strap.

TheBananaKing 1 3h33m

All the external bits basically hang off the pubic bone, way higher and further forward than you're thinking.

If we stand with our legs together, it's all in front. If we close our legs when sitting, it's all in our lap (or at least it ends up there). We can sit on fence rails and bike seats just fine - we'd have to lean forward for it to be an issue.

Which isn't to say that mishaps can't happen, but it's not an issue by default. Balls tend to ride up towards safety - like bobbing for apples in reverse.

blinman94 1 3h35m

Well, our genitals are just little squishy geniuses.

SimonBrown21 1 3h38m

Because it is not between the ass cheeks, it has more than enough space. Underwear keeps it still too. And if someone gets hurt they let you know by screaming something along the lines of "FUCK. MY BALLS GOT FUCKING CRUSHED"

neonblue01 1 3h39m

Simply not big enough :( /s

mushroomhelp9520 1 3h42m

They do sometimes

gunghogary 1 3h43m

They do

Tool03 1 3h49m
  • this post deserves a a life warning*

You adjust... Once you've seen it... You can't un-see it

TakeOffYourMask 1 3h50m

Put grapes in a plastic baggy filled with lubricant, now try to crush the grapes. They’ll just squish to the side.

It’s like that.

Forlorn_Cyborg 1 3h55m

Sometimes all of those things happen, and the female ultrasound tech just looks at you strangely when you say you sat on your balls .

disizbussiness01 1 3h56m

When we walk/run, the balls are not massive enough to get crushed they are either suspensed or they move along. Also while sitting the CG of male body slightly back which pressures more on hip than the balls. However if you have to sit in a place for really longer span, I sit on the edge of the chair so they no parts of my balls get crushed.

ghettomerman 1 3h58m

Nude Male Runway

Most of our junk is in the front, not in-between our legs.

Brohammer53 1 4h1m

How is it that nipples and titties don't fall off? They keep dangling, right? If a woman walks around naked, there's something dangling, and swinging loosely on her body. Wouldn't that make walking itself painful?

What about wearing bras and shirts? They squeeze the nipples and titties, wouldn't that be painful?

What about having sausage nips, or worse, having someone (eg a partner) lay inbetween your massive knockers?

If the tits are on the chest, and someone sits on your funbags, wouldn't that be painful?

What if a woman crossed her arms? That would squeeze the nipples and titties more than just bras and shirts do, right? How is that not painful?

Note: Am man, taking piss.

NoRagrets4Me 1 4h4m

You assume too much.

karthikML1 1 4h7m

She had us in the first half, I am not gonna lie

RedneckStew 1 4h8m

Sometimes it/they do. It's mostly the balls when sitting down. Yeah, it hurts.

wotmate 1 4h9m

For you first question, I'll counter with how do your breasts not fall off your chest?

As for the rest, sometimes it is painful. Walking, running, sitting, sitting with someone, underwear, all of it can be painful if we're careless.

voborb 1 4h13m

I actually have no idea

BillyBobJenkins454 1 4h19m

When walking it can depend. I have hurt myself on accident maybe once or twice. Sitting down is gravity. Our balls fall between our lags which is why when a guy sits down his legs are spread open more than a womans. A partner in between our legs also isnt really a problem unless they do it in a weird way. When we sit our balls arent big enough to lay out on the floor so sitting down inbetween the legs is fine because, well, our balls arent there. UNDERWEAR however can go fucking die. If a guy wears underwear thats too tight when they pee their bladder will get a cramp that hurts like hell. Also, if a guy wants to have kids he is usually meant to wear more loose underwear because tighter underwear causes the testicles to heat up. This is an issue because sperm is made 3 degrees lower than the room or body temperature, so if they are hot then your body isnt making sperm.

DrakthBarretAnims 1 4h21m

That thing just kinda moves and slides. Ya know Velocity = move_and_slide(Velocity) Only nerds can understand this.

Abhi005 1 4h22m

Yeah it is painful, When it is hard - on . But when it is not hard it is not a big deal. But, we find ways to place it on a position that doesnt feel painful. Sometimes it is not painful too. Lol

Green-Turbulent 1 4h24m

It’s very small so I have no trouble

bonsaiboy75 1 4h25m

I just zip tie all my junk to my belt

stumps1922 1 4h33m

Once I sat on a hot car seat without underwear on and landed balls first

Do not recommend

JosephMerry 1 4h34m

Practice. And we have all had to learn by making mistakes.

CocaineCowboiiii 1 4h45m

Fellow ladies lmao 10/10 recommend you just ask a guy or your partner to show and let you feel how everything moves and what does and doesnt hurt if you haven't already. Lol seen a guy wrap his penis all the way around his wrist and push his testicles up outta the ballsack. They're not as super fragile as we think for the most part

harshrealmz 1 4h45m

It is so painful that our primitive brains take control of motor functions when performing those maneuvers. Walking however can bring about the slow burn of ball / inner thigh chaffage commonly associated with going commando.

Bobbyhons 1 4h54m

Balls are wrinkly. There is give and take with skin expansion. Testicles are in a fluid so they move freely with the skin expansion.

Shaft can stretch and when not erect is just as malleable, by example, the lobe of your ear. Doesn't feel like a lobe though.

throwawayzdrewyey 1 4h58m

Sat on a toilet once. As I was sitting down the tip of my ball sack got wedged between the toilet and seat and as soon as I sat down it pinched.

FrostHix 1 5h1m

Depends if its cold the ballsack is hard actually Underwear has a section for balls and the dick its like a pack so its not getting squeeezed so they just dont dang around

Azu_Rage_ 1 5h2m

Recently I've been dealing with, my scrotum actually feeling like it's falling between or even behind my thighs when I walk. My ultimate conclusion, which I guess could be inaccurate, but is that the modal material, which are super soft ass underwear, mixed with my new factory job in the heat, anyway underwear can sometimes support the testicles. I'm gonna try to start buying boxer briefs and I think it'll better support my junk. If someone sits on my lap, there's enough room to normally not feel squished (I guess unless there is a bigger woman on them) sitting down, I feel like a man just by having them so long normally knows when you need to adjust your package before sitting. I normally can just sit with out adjustment. I'd like to think despite the area being pretty sensitive, your junk being squeezed or squished doesn't really have a big negative pressure feeling. It could actually feel good or neutral.

West_Yorkshire 1 5h3m

I love how no one has given the proper answer. Your dick and balls are squishy. It's like having a block of jelly in your pants - it just squishes to the shape of whatever you are doing.

aNo_nYm_oUs_13 1 5h10m

So Imaa 16yo(male) and the same question had appeared in my head a few times but I never thought much bout it and it made me happy that it have its own complex systems for safety (this made me feel a lot secure tbh)

bobnla14 1 5h11m

The quick and simple answer is it sits more forward than down. Basically where you’re clitoris is is where our balls are and the penis is above that. When you sit down, your vagina is on the chair, but the clitoris is slightly forward. Same with that only a little higher

Nebuka11 1 5h12m

It's all about careful balls management

Tripledtities 1 5h12m

Uhh manspreading?

bobnla14 1 5h13m

Oh and I am constantly amazed that women can sit with Legs crossed at the knee. I know very few men they can do this. It crushes and move things and makes them uncomfortable. Hence the reason we put ankle over knee.

bobnla14 1 5h13m

Excellent question by the way

sloppo_19 1 5h13m

I had to stop after about the third comment here. I've never experienced that much pain but it still made my stomach turn trying to visualise it

DrachenDad 1 5h15m

Normally none of those happen because the scrotum is wider than the penis and hangs in font of the legs so when you sit legs together they both lay on top of your legs.

Barrelsofbarfs 1 5h17m

Penis isn't a problem but my balls get squashed soo often

splodgenessabounds 1 5h41m

I imagine your inbox is chocka-block by now (no double-entendres please...), but I'll add one thing to the myriad of replies: in those times us blokes are not with our partner (or a potential partner), or thinking about our partner (or thinking about one or more potential partners, or thinking about someone we saw 5 seconds ago... ahem, where was I?) the nerve endings in our penis and balls aren't switched on. Thus, apart from accidental crushing of the testes and clothing that chafes, none of our giblets impinge upon our consciousness at all.

Thotus_Maximus 1 5h41m

Believe it or not.. a man's balls aren't heavy like elephants. And when walking, we walk normal. If we sit down, we don't "man spread" unless a person is overdoing it. We just spread out legs a little because the balls need a bit of breathing space. Having someone sit in between the legs doesnt mean they're sitting on our balls.. they're sitting infront of them. Or ontop on our laps

6Koree9 1 5h41m

Most of the time they're in their place and I don't feel them. Walking doesn't hurt nothing is dangling because pants and underwear keep everything in place( it's not like underwear is some 5kg elastic band it doesn't crush anything). When you sit you just sit down. Cock and balls aren't nearly as uncomfortable to have as you think.

reddinkydonk 1 5h47m

Only uncomfortable when it's hot and you have to sit with your legs completely together. Feels like I'm not getting enough penis oxygen.

Oeboekanoeboe 1 5h48m

The sheer amount of penis jokes here is... very impressive

oPlayer2o 1 5h53m

I’ll be honest sometimes they do get caught or squished, why do you think men sit with there legs open (ie man spreading) or why we sometimes mess with our junk out in the open it’s not because we’re creeps it’s because if we don’t we might crush a ball.

jjfero 1 5h54m

Yes they do

jonthesnook 1 5h54m

graemo72 1 5h56m

They do.

Wilthywonka 1 6h1m

Dick and balls are smart and know when you're walking, sitting down, etc. Balls will pull up a bit when you're sitting down. Seriously. Dick will get micropeen size if you're running, swimming. Balls will group up if they get cold, stretch out if they get hot. If u cross your legs they'll pull out of the way no harm done. If balls feel like they're swinging too hard they'll reel in (unless it's hot as shit down there). Shit knows what's going on more than you'd think.

If someone sits on your dick it fucking sucks if you get a boner but otherwise it just starts to fall asleep. If someone sits on your balls they have a weird shaped ass cause those things are usually in the cranny of your legs not on top

EvolvingEachDay 1 6h2m

They often do...

pm_m3_y0ur_boobs 1 6h3m

You overestimate how sensitive the penis is and underestimate how flexible and squishy it can be while flaccid, and they do get squished while sitting down, that's why we men tend to stay with our legs as apart as possible while sitting, crossing legs just don't touch the genitals, if I have my partner sitting in between my legs, with her ass up against my dick there's far more important matters to think to than my balls getting a bit squished

eldoran89 1 6h9m

Well the thing with pants and them being uncomfortable is exactly the same with boobs and bra. If they fit, they will keep everything in place without squeezing anything. If not then not.

With fitting underwear most things are no problem because everything is where it should be without squeezing.

And even if everything is in full swing. It's just swinging between the legs without much problem, because it's firmly attached.

The sitting on the lap can be a problem. If the parts are not where they should be it can hurt if someone sits on them, but usually they are between your legs and someone sitting on you lap is.. Well on your lap. So you sit above the legs, the parts are stored between them...

Cross leged sitting also can be uncomfortable but is not necesarry so. When crossing the legs for me at least the penis and the ball goes above the legs, and the squeezing location just squeezes the Sack, not the balls...

So yep all works out. It evolved to fit, so it does. Just like your breasts it usually comes down to the right clothes

brawnandbrain 1 6h9m

Sometimes when I am doing rows at they gym, my balls have the potential to get squished. There is a couple of factors to this.

1) I’m hot. When your scrotum senses heat, it loosens to keep your balls at a slightly cooler temperature than the rest of your body. So, they hang much lower. Balls have to be slightly cooler than normal body temperature in order to produce sex cells. Otherwise you balls are wrapped up neatly under your penis which sort of displaces the penis away from the body.

2) My legs are doing this sort of squeeze and pull motion. Like, my knees come together and after they come together, they go down. So with each repetition, my thighs sort of clamp and pull.

Usually to fix this I sort of just pick my balls up and set them in my lap (I act like I’m trying to get something in my pocket even though no one is watching) instead of dangling between. That sounds like a cartoon script as I’m reading it, but I’m 100% serious.

Other than that, they never really get in the way.

They are attached on the front of your body, not the bottom of your crotch, so they really can’t get in the way unless your scrotum is really loose. My scrotum isn’t that big so it’s not a problem.

SharadHett 1 6h11m

This is the equivalent of a guy asking a woman how her boobs don’t pop when she hugs someone or how she can sleep on her stomach.

TriedandTrusted 1 6h13m

Hence the "manspreading".

Oizaf888 1 6h15m

I want to say that it just comes down to being really good design on nature’s part. But the fact that it looks so bad makes me think that nature didn’t approach this project holistically.

Like if a car was designed that scored 10s in every other category but looked like a ballsack, there’s no way it’d sell.

TheAlmostBest 1 6h25m

Dick magic

Embarrassed-Town-293 1 6h49m

It honestly just moves around to the point of least resistance. Think of it sort of like how your breasts move around. As for pants and underwear, men's pants and clothing have extra fabric around the crotch to account for this. Whereas women's pants literally hug the skin from pubis to butt crack, men's pants sag to a decent degree between these two points. This is also partly why men do not sit with their legs pressed together. Not necessarily because it would be painful but because it literally is more difficult and physically requires effort to hold the position. Having narrower hips also makes it harder. This doesn't justify Wild Man spreading but it does explain why men spread their legs around 12 in apart

AsamaneKishiUkadona 1 6h55m

Girl, thank you. I have the same questions. How about sleeping. How do you not accidentally squish your penis.

Dudowisch 1 7h2m

oh you definitly crush your balls from time to time when sitting down or crossing your legs. lots of funny videos of dudes getting filmed without their knowledge right at the moment when they crush them and their reaction to it. i specificly remember one of a guy at some sort of press conference crossing his legs and in the middle of crossing he jerks up in shock and stops. you can see the pain in his face.

AccidentallySuperb 0 2h24m

This does not apply to me. Thumbnails, this is not for us, let's move on and let the adults talk.

Icy-Carpenter-2167 0 4h26m

Sometimes I can't sit comfortably because it's all in the way

ww82 -1 8h45m

Female patient: I’m a bodybuilder. I take steroids and I’ve recently started to grow a huge cock! Doctor: anabolic? Patient: No, just a cock!

Alternative_Slip_808 -2 2h28m

I am worried that OP is not of legal age to be on this site...

XB0XYGEN -2 2h43m

Take a shot every time she says Penis and Balls

verybigpenisman -3 2h39m

Why do you think the title is truth? Do you coincidentally think all that manspreading thing is done because men are mean toxic dominant apes that can't just put their tights together?

It does crush everything. It hurts like hell if you try to sit with your knees together.

halket007 -6 1h32m

our balls goes inside our body , it comes out only when the penis is erect ..

cngrss -10 54m

of course it’s a woman

BackAlleyKittens -12 24m

They do. So shut the the eff up about manspreading.

Correct-Baseball9464 9 39m

I've personally never had an issue with men spreading their legs. They may take more space that way, but sitting otherwise might be really painful for some of them and I let them be. You don't have to worry 😊

cvnvr 2 2h40m

just so you know, all these guys saying they HAVE to manspread because of x, y, z are just lying and it’s sad. there’s no reason on public transport for some guys to have their legs a metre apart, let alone because of their dick and balls.

IAmTheSenatorM8 4h44m

Dumbass bitch

Old_Week 12h21m

Believe it or not, men’s pants and underwear are designed to accommodate a penis and testicles.

PerryBa 12h28m

I sit on my balls and accidentally drag them under myself all the time. Its a nightmare...

lool-g-lool 12h31m

It gets crushed unless i adjust.

rolfcm106 12h56m

The same way tits don’t get crushed when women lay on their stomachs. They just move and conform to the shape of their surroundings. What hurts is sudden impacts with hard surfaces, specifically ones with small surface areas.

Rad619619 12h58m

Those ARE painful. And they happen. They just don't happen often because there's also space for a man's genitals to move out of the way, and clothes make it hard for someone to sit on top of your junk instead of next to it.