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General Article

Dingen om te overwegen als je een ongeplande zwangerschap hebt

Er zijn veel dingen waar je rekening mee moet houden voordat je met iemand seks hebt. Als je seks niet serieus neemt of jezelf naar iemand gooit, riskeer je een SOA te krijgen of een ongewenst zwanger te hebben. Helaas bevinden miljoenen en miljoenen vrouwen over de hele wereld zich in deze hachelijke situatie. Sommige vrouwen zijn vaak niet opgevoed over de gevaren van seks terwijl andere vrouwen in de hitte van het moment verkeerden en niet van plan waren of nadachten over toekomstige gevolgen. Hoe dan ook, het maakt niet uit en als een vrouw is het belangrijk om te weten dat het jouw keuze is wanneer je besluit om je baby te houden of door te gaan met het beëindigingsproces.

  1. Bent u financieel in de plaats om voor een kind te zorgen?

Kinderopvang is erg duur, vooral als u uw kind op de kinderopvang wilt zetten of een oppas wilt inhuren om voor hen te zorgen. Je moet ook pasgeboren babyverzorgingskosten zoals luiers, nieuwe kleding, nieuwe schoenen, flessen, melk, babywandelwagen en babyvoeding meenemen, en soms moet je zelfs bedenken hoeveel het gaat kosten om je pasgeboren baby in het ziekenhuis te brengen. In Amerika zijn de gemiddelde kosten om een pasgeboren baby zonder verzekering af te leveren meer dan 50 duizend dollar! Het is ook meer dan drieduizend per dag om in het ziekenhuis te blijven om voor de baby en moeder te zorgen. Als je nog steeds hulp nodig hebt bij het berekenen van de kosten van de kinderopvang. Klik hier Deze link helpt je veel.

  1. Wil je partner de baby? Is uw partner financieel stabiel?

Voordat je iets overweegt, moet je de financiële situatie van je partner in twijfel trekken. Hebben ze bijvoorbeeld een vaste baan? Wat is hun credit score? Hoe ziet het werkschema eruit? Hebben ze een ondersteunende familie? Ga zitten en praat met ze over wat het beste is om te doen en hoe jullie als paar vooruit moeten gaan.

  1. Hoe is uw gezondheid?

Helaas kunnen het kind en de geboorte van een kind een nummer op je lichaam doen. Als u bepaalde aandoeningen zoals hartfalen, hartaandoeningen, diabetes of obesitas heeft. Als u een of meer van deze aandoeningen heeft, riskeert u niet alleen uw leven, maar ook de baby in uw maag. Praat met je dokter over de beste opties voor jou en je partner. Krijg een onderzoek, X Ray en zelfs een echo. Zodra je resultaten klaar zijn, ga je ze door met een arts en let je op wat zij denken dat het beste voor je is.

  1. Ben je klaar om jezelf op de tweede plaats te zetten?

Als het gaat om het opvoeden van een kind, moet je in staat zijn om je wensen en behoeften achter je te laten. Als je een ouder bent, moet je soms veel opofferen voor je kind en als je niet bereid bent om dingen te geven zoals vrije tijd, feesten en drinken, dan is het hebben van kinderen niet iets voor jou.

Vergeet niet dat als uw partner de baby niet wil en u een abortus wilt laten doen, dat in orde is, omdat niemand u wettelijk kan dwingen om abortus te plegen. Dus probeer niet onder druk te zetten om iets te doen wat je niet wilt doen. kijk hier voor nieuw moederadvies…

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Health Facts

Great Advice And Ideas About Acid Reflux That Anyone Can Grasp

Trying to get rid of your acid reflux can sometimes seem like a never-ending battle. You have to make sure you know what remedies are out there so you can make a well-informed decision. You don’t want to make things worse, and you don’t want to leave it hanging there, as acid reflux over time can turn into worse situations for you.

Did you know that losing weight can help tame the symptoms of GERD? There is scientific proof that having too much body fat leads to the release of chemicals which cause digestion not to function correctly. This can lead to acid reflux and its resulting suffering. Shed the pounds and feel better!

There are some foods which people who suffer from acid reflux must avoid. These include high-fat foods, alcohol, drinks with caffeine, anything with mint in it, chocolate, citrus, anything with tomato in it, foods with spices in them, peppers, garlic, carbonated drinks and onions. You may find your acid reflux flares with many other foods as well, so make a list.

If you suffer with acid reflux, understand how gravity can work in your favor. Sitting upright will help keep food and fluids down after meals, so keep yourself straight. Avoid lying down or even slightly reclining in your favorite chair as this will exacerbate reflux symptoms quickly. Try going for a short and healthy walk instead!

Try eating your meals slower. Due to the extremely fast-paced world we live in, we tend to always be in a hurry. This carries over to our eating, causing us to eat way too fast. This increases the odds that we will overeat, which can cause acid reflux. Instead, take your time while eating. Thoroughly chew your food, and put down your fork after every few bites. Stop eating once you feel comfortable, not stuffed.

If reflux is occurring after strenuous exercise, you might be able to find some easy relief. Increase your water consumption. This will help you stay hydrated. In addition, it aids in food digestion. You can curb acid production in your stomach by using water to promote healthy digestion.

Limit the amount of drinks you have when you eat. Beverages can add volume to the food that you digest and increase how distended your stomach is. Having a full stomach puts some pressure on your LES or lower esophageal sphincter, which is responsible for keeping food from getting back into the esophagus. This increases your chances for having reflux. To lower chances, take small sips when eating and try drinking your beverages between meals instead of during meals.

You should now have a much better idea as to how you can take control of your acid reflux and kick it out of your life. You don’t want to have to put up with this annoying condition for any longer. Instead, you need to focus on the tips that have been provided to you here so that you can be sure that you have everything under wraps.…

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General Article

Top Benefits Of Chiropractic Treatment After An Accident

After an accident, the first thing that comes to the minds of many is where they can get the best medical care. This is quite normal especially when you consider how terrifying an accident can be. While it is okay to seek help from the nearest hospital with quality emergency services, it is also wise to consider the services of a chiropractor. Chiropractic services are now gaining momentum as more and more people continue to discover the benefits that come with the treatment these professionals offer. If you had an accident, here is how chiropractic treatment helps you in your accident recovery process.

Who Is A Chiropractor?

Before we get to the benefits, it is vital that you first understand who a chiropractor is, to understand the essence of chiropractic services. Simply put, a chiropractor is a health care personnel who is professionally trained to diagnose and treat neuromuscular disorders through manual adjustments, or hands-on spinal manipulation. In a layman language, a chiropractor is a health professional who focuses on the diagnosis and treatment of neuromuscular problems without surgery or medication and instead emphasizes healing through manual manipulation.

Early Detection Of Unseen Injuries

After an accident, it is normal for one to incur injuries which cannot be detected by an X-ray machine right away. Such injuries are often not painful at first and might take a few days before they start showing their symptoms. For instance, whiplash commonly takes two to three days before you can start feeling the pain and other symptoms associated with it such as constant headaches, neck stiffness, and muscle spasms among many others. While it is easy to dismiss such injuries as non-serious, if left untreated they could have severe consequences. A chiropractor usually addresses these problems immediately after the accident because as noted earlier, chiropractic care involves hands-on spinal manipulation. This means that as the chiropractor adjusts your spine to its natural alignment after a crash, they also address injuries that are yet to be detected such as whiplash.

Non-Invasive And Prescription Free Treatment

Even though not all accidents call for surgery, unfortunately, the majority of them do. However, a surgical operation is not something that one enjoys; first it is invasive meaning that it takes a long time to recover afterward, and secondly, it is expensive. Chiropractic treatment, on the other hand, is utterly non-invasive as it offers pain relief and promotes healing without surgery. Additionally, it is important to note that even injuries that seem as minor as whiplash tend to worsen over time, calling for invasive treatment methods. Seeking chiropractic treatment from an accident recovery chiropractic delray beach fl as soon as possible helps prevent such problems from getting to this stage.

Addresses The Problem Instead Of The Symptoms

Most pain relievers and medical prescriptions given in hospital often tend to address the symptoms instead of addressing the root of the problem. This means that even after taking medicine, the problem is still present. On the other hand, chiropractic treatment addresses spine which is connected to the nervous system. As you know, the nervous system controls an array of the body’s responses, breathing, and many other factors. In respect to that, chiropractic treatment addresses the source of the problem through the nerves connected to the spine hence offering relief to the symptoms and at the same time putting the issue to rest.…

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Health Gov

Cellulite 101: Everything You Need To Know

Cellulite is a problem that has plagued people for ages. Most people think it is a problem they will always have to live with. However, it does not have to be this way. In this article, you will be given tips to help you get rid of cellulite for good.

Try using a body brush on your skin. Brushing your skin with a body brush is a great way to reduce cellulite. It removes dead skin cells and stimulates blood flow. Brush your problem areas in an upward direction to break up fatty deposits and cut down on some of that unsightly cellulite.

Do not believe the myth that cardio is the best way to get rid of cellulite. While it does work to some degree, you have to combine it with other exercises. This will not totally remove any cellulite in the body, but it will definitely improve the way it looks.

Lose weight. It might seem obvious, but it can be the fastest and easiest way to get rid of your cellulite. Dropping a few pounds, if you’re overweight, has many health benefits. Aesthetically, losing weight might be the only way to get rid of stubborn cellulite in some of your problem areas.

Cellulite may be caused by poor diet choices that are high in fat, salt, carbohydrates and minimal fiber. People who smoke, do not exercise enough and sit or stand for extended periods of time are also more likely to develop cellulite. Genetics may also make some people predisposed to the condition.

To fight cellulite, make sure you stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water keeps the skin hydrated and supple, which prevents any puckering. Another more effective method is consuming foods that are mostly made of water because they can work effectively at diminishing dimpling. Some examples are watermelon, plums, apricots, etc.

Make sure to eat a healthy diet. It’s important that your skin gets all the nutrients it needs. Foods rich in antioxidants will help produce collagen, which keeps your skin plump. Plenty of vitamin E, C, and omega-3 fatty acids will greatly improve the feel and texture of your skin.

Make sure that you’re drinking plenty of water. There are many reasons to drink water. When you’re not drinking enough water, sodium can build up. This can cause you to retain water, producing excess cellulite. Drinking plenty of water can remedy this and keep your skin hydrated, cutting down on cellulite.

Minimize the appearance of cellulite by limiting the amount of skin thinning cream you use. Using skin thinning creams, like steroid, on areas of cellulite will make the cellulite more obvious. This is due to your skin being thinner and making the dimples under your skin more noticeable. Also, any imperfections in the skin will be more visible.

As this article discussed, people have had to deal with cellulite for a long time. Many think this issue cannot be taken care of, but you know the truth. Now that you read this article, you know how to eliminate cellulite. When used properly, these tips are key to ridding yourself of this ugly problem.…

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Health Gov

Make The Most Out Of Your Time Caring For Your Teeth With These Great Tips

A lot of people want a great smile. Unfortunately, they don’t know how they should be caring for their teeth. Want to know how to clean up your mouth and have a gorgeous smile? Keep reading for good information on proper dental care.

Make sure you’re taking care of your teeth. You should floss, brush your teeth, and use an oral rinse at least twice a day. This can help prevent any problems from ever arising. If you’re unsure of what products you should be using, don’t be afraid to ask your dentist.

In order to maximize the effectiveness of brushing, be sure to keep the toothbrush at the correct angle. The brush should be held at a 45 degree from the gum line. This angle allows the brush to reach up into the areas between the gum line and the teeth. Plaque tends to accumulate in these areas, and using the proper angle can help minimize this.

Daily flossing is essential to healthy teeth. Take a generous amount of dental floss and insert it gently between your teeth. Move the floss up from the gum on the side of each tooth. This will remove plaque that you can’t reach with your toothbrush and help keep your teeth their cleanest.

If your teeth are sensitive to temperatures, such as hot or cold, you may want to give a different toothpaste a try. Talk with your dentist before switching to toothpaste for sensitive teeth. Your dentist can determine exactly what is causing your sensitive teeth.

Change your toothbrush every eight weeks. Keeping one longer than this is just introducing bacteria to your mouth, which is contrary to the purpose of brushing. If you have a toothbrush with a removal head, just change the head every two months. Anything used in your mouth longer than this is risky.

If you are suffering from tooth pain or chipping, visit your dentist immediately. When you put off going to the dentist, you could be causing more damage. It’s cheaper to see a dentist when an issue first starts than it is when the damage has gotten worse.

It is significant to teach kids the importance of good dental care as early as possible. Help them to understand why brushing is important and how it keeps their teeth clean. Establishing good early habits will set the foundation for your child taking care of their teeth as they get older.

Check your toothbrush for how hard the bristles are. You want something that is soft or even medium grade. Hard bristles can actually wear down your enamel over time. You want something that can remove debris and clean the surfaces of your teeth, but not actually do damage to them.

Don’t assume that all dental floss is the same. There are mint flavored dental flosses. These make flossing a little less unpleasant and help with your breath too. If you have a hard time reaching behind certain teeth, get a bag of plastic flossers that are small handles already strung with floss.

Dental hygiene starts with the right education. Take the right first steps by using the tips shown here. After practicing these good habits you will soon share the tips with everyone in your family, and they too can have a pearly white smile.…

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Health Gov

Interested In Acupuncture? Here’s What You Need To Know

Is everyday an intensely painful struggle for you? Does it seem like nothing works to relieve your pain? If the answer is yes, have you thought about acupuncture? Acupuncture uses needles to stimulate the body’s energy flow. Prior to dismissing acupuncture as a plausible treatment, read the piece that follows to learn more.

Eat light before your acupuncture appointment. If you overfill yourself, you might now get the best results. But don’t go in on an empty stomach either. If you go in for treatment when you are hungry, you may experience unwelcome nausea or dizziness.

You should not fear acupuncture, since the needles tend not to hurt at all. Rather than using ordinary needles, acupuncture pins are as thin as human hair. Pain will not even be an issue.

Know what acupuncture is about before scheduling an appointment. You will have to deal with needles. There are no alternatives to needles in acupuncture. If you are nervous, remember these needles are not like normal needles. They are very fine, about the diameter of one strand of hair. Ask others who have undergone acupuncture about their appointments to help alleviate your anxiety.

If you are preparing for an acupuncture treatment, make sure to talk to your doctor ahead of time and notify him or her about any medications you are taking. That includes vitamins as well. He or she may want you to stop using some of them while you are receiving treatment.

If you’d like to get more out of your acupuncture sessions, start cleansing. A good cleanse will free your body of toxins, which means acupuncture will be more effective. During this time, you may also want to detox from substances like alcohol. Ask your acupuncturist to recommend a good detox diet.

Don’t let a fear of infection keep you from experiencing what acupuncture has to offer. Much like the other tools found in a medical environment, the needles used for acupuncture are clean and sterilized. These needles are fresh for each patient on each visit and disposed of after a single use. No need to worry about infections or diseases spreading.

Remember that acupuncture effects take time to make a difference. You can’t expect you see results after a single acupuncture session. You generally have to attend several sessions before you start seeing the benefits. Make sure you stick with your scheduled sessions so that you can achieve those great results.

When looking for an acupuncture professional to treat your aches, pains and ailments, be sure to ask if they are nationally certified. Although this will not guarantee that your sessions are perfect and painless, it will guarantee that the specialist you visit has had a lot of formal education and is well qualified to perform the service. You should see the certificates on the wall.

Using acupuncture properly can be very helpful when it comes to relieving pain. Just be smart about it when you use it. Use the information you learned here as a springboard for exploring acupuncture. Speak with a doctor if you’re not sure of whether or not acupuncture is right for you.…

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Health Department

If You’re Going To The Chiropractor, Read This First!

When seeking relief from chronic pain and certain other conditions, there are many different strategies people try out. One of these is chiropractic care, and if you haven’t given this the nod yet, it’s about time. Find out more about chiropractic care as you keep reading about this wonderful approach.

It is never too early for chiropractic care. Often children are born with problems such as subluxation. Don’t be afraid to have your baby attended by a skilled and qualified chiropractor. Early care while the bones and structure are still malleable can make a tremendous difference in your baby’s overall health and well being.

When you are lifting items from the floor, you should never bend down with your back and pick them up. Doing this can cause damage to your back, so avoid it at all costs. The best method for picking up things is to bend your knees, squat and lift it up.

Chiropractic care is one of the most effective methods of treating subluxation. When a vertebra is subluxated, the discs and vertebra shift and tip from one side to another. This causes the entire spine to bend and curve. Early chiropractic treatment can be very helpful in correcting this condition and avoiding surgery.

Remember that not all chiropractors are the same. Try to find one that sticks largely to conservative treatments focused largely on back pain, but also on other primary problem areas for musculoskeletal issues. Your primary care physician is able to provide you with trusted names and references for you to start your search.

There are many reasons as to why a person ought to visit a chiropractor. If you are suffering from pain in your neck or back on an ongoing basis, you should consult with a chiropractor right away. Seeing a chiropractor can also help keep misalignment issues away. Your whole body works better when your back is correctly aligned.

Ask a chiropractor if there are frequency discounts in their office. It is not unusual for chiropractic treatment to require a number of visits. Treatments can be scheduled a few times per week may be needed for several months in a row. The costs could rise. Some chiropractors offer discounts when you are seeking to make multiple appointments for treatment.

Many types of health issues can be helped by chiropractic care. Since most nerves and muscles of the body originate in the spine, misalignment of the spine can result in various pains and health issues throughout the body. Chiropractic adjustments can be very helpful in any pain related to nerves or muscles.

If you are looking for a chiropractor, be sure to check any references thoroughly before you make an appointment. There are lots of sincere chiropractors, but there are some who try to sell you all kinds of non-chiropractic merchandise. Look at reviews from previous users and try to get recommendations from your regular doctor.

What do you think about visiting a chiropractor now? Do you feel like it might just be the decision that turns your life around? Many people have made this decision before you, and they have stories to tell. It’s now time to make your own story as you experience chiropractic care for the first time.…


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DIY Backyard Ball Toss Game

Outdoor Fun at a Fraction of the Cost

Why just recycle your Hiland Dairy containers when you can upcycle them instead? My kids think that recycling plastic containers means placing them in the correct green container in the garage. Not so fast! When I encourage them to think “outside the bin” and talk about the importance of sustainability, they come up with amazing ideas. This ball toss game was created with a little creativity and a lot of fun in mind.

Backyard Ball Toss Game

Backyard Ball Toss Game

What You’ll Need:

Backyard Ball Toss Game Supplies

  • Rinse each container with warm, soapy water. Towel-dry completely.
  • Place the foam board on a flat surface and glue three 8-ounce containers to the front, approximately 4 inches apart and 2 inches from the sides.

Backyard Ball Toss Game Step 1

  • Repeat using three 16-ounce containers, leaving approximately 3 inches from the first row.

Backyard Ball Toss Game Step 2

  • Finish with the last row using three 24-ounce containers.

Backyard Ball Toss Game Step 3

  • Allow the glue dry completely.
  • Play ball!

Diva’s Tip

Instead of flipping a coin or playing rock-paper-scissors to make decisions, my kids are using this game to “toss” for things. Whoever gets the most balls in the containers wins! If you want to make this project even craftier, you can paint the foam board and containers to customize the look of your game.

The Dairy Diva

~The Dairy Diva

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Raspberry glazed chocolate delight recipe

Raspberry glazed chocolate delight recipe

What You Need:

For The Cake
• 1 cup of unsalted butter
• 6 eggs
• Approx. 450 grams of semisweet baking chocolate
Raspberry Glaze
• 1 tablespoon of cornstarch
• Approx. 280 grams of frozen raspberries in syrup, thawed
White Chocolate Ganache
• ½ cup of whipped cream
• 1 tablespoons of unsalted butter
• Approx. 230 grams of white chocolate baking bars, cut into small-sized pieces
• 1 cup of fresh raspberries
• 1 cup of whipping cream

How to prepare:

• Heat your oven to 205 degrees Celsius and spray a 9-inch spring-form pan with cooking spray. Now in a moderately sized saucepan, melt 1 cup of butter and the semisweet chocolate over medium-low heat. Make sure you stir the mixture continuously till the mixture is a smooth liquid. Now let the melted mixture cool for about 35 minutes or till it cools completely.
• Beat the eggs in a small bowl using an electric mixer on high speed for 5 minutes or till the eggs are light and lemon coloured. Fold the cooled chocolate and butter mixture into the eggs and pour this mixture into the pan.

• Bake this for 15 minutes.  The dessert will be soft in the center. Let the dessert cool completely on a cooling rack for approx. 1 hour and 15 minutes. Now freeze the dessert for another 1 hour and 15 minutes or till it is firm.

• While the dessert cools, place the pieces of the white chocolate baking bars into a small bowl. Now bring ½ cup of whipping cream and 1 tablespoon of butter to a boil in a small saucepan. Pour this onto the chocolate pieces and stir till the whole mixture is smooth. Let this mixture cool for about 5 minutes or till it cools completely. Refrigerate for 1 hour till the mixture is chilled.

• Over a small saucepan, place a strainer and pour the raspberries into the strainer. Using the back of a spoon, press the mixture so that the seeds can be removed, discard the seeds. Now stir in the cornstarch and cook over moderate heat till the mixture thickens, remember to stir continuously. Let this cool for 30 minutes or till the mixture cools completely.

• Spread the white chocolate ganache on top of the cooled dessert. Now spread the raspberry glaze on top of the chocolate and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
When ready to serve, let the dessert remain in room temperature for 1 hour. In a moderately sized bowl, beat 1 cup of whipping cream until stiff peaks form. Spoon the whipped cream into a pastry bag with a large star tip. Squeeze the cream onto the edge of the dessert and garnish with fresh raspberries

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links – The House of Portable

Wolfram Mathematica 12.0 Portable

wolfram mathematica portable

The world’s definitive system for modern technical computing

For three decades, Mathematica has defined the state of the art in technical computing—and provided the principal computation environment for millions of innovators, educators, students, and others around the world.

Widely admired for both its technical prowess and elegant ease of use, Mathematica provides a single integrated, continually expanding system that covers the breadth and depth of technical computing.


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Museums in Suzhou

Suzhou Museum

In my last post, I wrote about some of the famous gardens and parks of Suzhou, but here we get down to the really good stuff: the museums which preserve and record the city’s history and handicrafts. We didn’t have time to see all the museums in Suzhou, but those we did visit helped me to put things in context a little better and left me itching to find out more. I’m going to start with the place where I spent most of my time: Suzhou Museum.

Suzhou Museum  ·  Suzhou Silk Museum

Museum of Inscribed Stone Tablets  ·  Opera Museum

Zhong Wang Fu at Suzhou Museum

One of the gardens at the Zhong Wang Fu mansion, which forms part of Suzhou Museum

Although it was founded in 1960, the Museum as we see it today is only ten years old, and is the brainchild of the architect I.M. Pei, whose family owned the nearby Lion Forest Garden. Its architecture, which you can see in the opening image of this post, is the chief attraction for many visitors. Pei’s design borrows from the white walls and black beams of traditional Suzhou architecture, but reinterprets it in a series of juxtaposed geometric forms. Water is everywhere, and dominates the splendid garden. Here the museum building is reflected in the vast sheet of water, crossed by a bridge, from which you can peer down at the shoals of brilliant orange fish and stately koi carp swimming beneath you. Against the wall, an arrangement of shaped rocks suggests a range of mountains, likewise reflected in the water, and over the top of the wall, you can just see the trees of the Humble Administrator’s Garden. The Museum’s own garden is planted with beautifully-shaped mature trees and a bamboo grove, and the whole effect is quite stunning, especially on a sunny day with blue skies.

The Museum was originally housed in Zhong Wang Fu, the adjoining 19th-century mansion built by Li Xiucheng, one of the leaders of the Taiping Rebellion. When the new building opened in 2006, the mansion was restored and offers a lovely contrast of wooden latticed halls and lush water gardens. But the collection has now been entirely moved over to the new galleries, which display examples of Suzhouan craftsmanship from Neolithic times through to the elegant scholars’ accessories of the Ming and Qing dynasties. There are two exhibition spaces: one, downstairs, is currently showing a selection of objects on loan from the Palace Museum in Beijing, while the Contemporary Art Gallery on the ground floor will be showing our exhibition of Italian Renaissance Drawings from the British Museum until January 2017. Upstairs there’s a changing selection of albums and scrolls from the collection of Chinese paintings.

Ming Scholar's Study, Suzhou Museum

Austere elegance: a reconstruction of a Ming scholar’s study at Suzhou Museum

There are too many exhibits for me to write about all my favourites, but I thought I’d select just a few to mention here. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the famous Lotus Bowl, dating from the 10th century, which was discovered at Yunyan Pagoda on Tiger Hill. This olive-green porcelain bowl looks astonishingly modern, with its very simple and elegant design, with the bowl formed from the fluted petals of a lotus flower. I also loved the jade ornaments from the Cao Family Tomb, dating to the 13th or 14th century. These were tied to a wealthy woman’s belt as a sign of her status, but they also had another function. If she moved at any pace other than the stately glide dictated by her rank, the ornaments would clatter and give her away. Of course there were many, many other things I loved – a jasper three-legged toad; a blue-and-white cricket container; a blue-and-yellow plate contemporary with, and similar to, Renaissance majolica… but the final piece I want to mention in detail is, in fact, a room. This is the Museum’s reconstruction of a Ming-period scholar’s study, which provides some context for the important role played by literati and intellectuals in Suzhou’s history. This room was gorgeously serene – enough to make you wish that you could strip back your own office to such austere elegance.

Suzhou Silk Museum: Foyer

Suzhou Silk Museum: The foyer with reliefs showing the story of the Silk Road

In 1276 Marco Polo visited Suzhou and wrote that, among the city’s other wonders, ‘they possess silk in great quantities, from which they make gold brocade and other stuffs‘. Silk has been Suzhou’s lifeblood since time immemorial and there’s a lovely, shiny new museum devoted to the history of the craft. The entrance hall is decorated with reliefs showing the trade on the Silk Road, while the first gallery preserves ancient samples of silk excavated from tombs and shown alongside modern reconstructions. I was fascinated by a red-and-black striped jin-silk reconstructed from an original found in Ji’an in Jiangxi province. This pattern dates from the 5th century BC and yet is remarkably modern and sophisticated. The same was true of other patterns deriving from fragments of the 1st and 6th centuries AD. It made me realise how colourless our view of history is, with no idea of the vibrant, detailed and elegant fabrics our ancestors would have worn.

Probably the most enjoyable part of the Museum was the section where we got to follow the making of silk from worm to weave, literally. A basket of mulberry leaves contains a happy community of silkworms, while pupae nestle on a shelf at the corner of the room. In the next gallery, beyond panels showing spinning and dying, we watched two young people weaving the coloured threads into a pattern on a two-person loom. A man was perched up on top of the loom, making sure that the warp threads didn’t get tangled, while a girl shot a shuttle back and forth, with a different coloured thread attached each time, raising and lowering the warp threads to create a patterned weft. I think that’s right. Forgive me if I’ve got the terminology wrong: I know nothing about the practice of weaving, but it was fascinating to watch the process. Finally there are galleries showing further samples of silk, all the way through from the Ming dynasty up to the Qing period and the Chinese Republic, featuring silk embroidery and cut velvet as well as flat patterned silks. It was a true riot of colour and pattern, and a very interesting glimpse of Suzhou’s ancient craft.

Suzhou Confucian Temple

The Confucian Temple in whose precinct the Museum of Inscribed Stone Tablets lies

I’ll be completely honest: when our host Allen first told us about this museum, I wasn’t entirely sure how much I’d be able to get out of it. The tablets in question preserve examples of especially fine calligraphy in various historic styles and, while it might be very useful for Chinese researchers, I was afraid that an ignorant Westerner like me wouldn’t be able to perceive all that much difference. However, I needn’t have worried. There was plenty to appreciate aside from the graceful inscriptions. The Museum lies within the precincts of a Confucian temple, which was formerly also a school and was founded in 1035. Our guide told us that, on purchasing this plot of land, the first owner Fan Zhongyan (then Prefect of Suzhou) asked for auspices to be cast so that he could find out if it was a fortunate purchase. He was told that the site was highly auspicious and that those who lived there would gain great knowledge and high office. Deciding to share his good fortune, the generous Prefect shelved his original plan to build his house there, and founded a school instead, so that all the students would share in this luck.

Suzhou Museum of Inscribed Stone Tablets

Intently watching the instructor showing us how to ink the tablets ready for transfer

A statue of Confucius stands in the front courtyard, with a fire burning in front of it. While we were there, we saw a couple of women come to pray in front of the statue and to offer bundles of incense or other offerings. Our guide explained that people come to pray to Confucius in the hope that their children will get good grades in their exams. Beyond the statue, the temple itself houses a large icon of Confucius and images of his chief disciplines on the side walls. The tables in front of the icon house a variety of unusual musical instruments, and on either side of the picture there are racks of bronze bells. We had the very rare privilege of meeting the Museum’s director and being taken behind the ropes so that we could try ringing the bells for ourselves, using little padded hammers. That was great fun, and an honour that we very much appreciated. Another activity, which I highly recommend, is to have a go at ‘rubbing’ replica tablets. Using a wad of padded cloth, you apply ink across the surface of an engraved tablet and then press down a sheet of paper to take a facsimile, in a traditional practice which has been used for centuries to preserve and duplicate Chinese inscriptions. And you can take it home with you!

Suzhou Museum of Inscribed Stone Tablets

With my colleague, honing our Chinese bell-ringing skills

At one end of the temple precinct, a room houses the Museum’s most important artefacts: four large stone tablets from the Song dynasty. Each is over two metres high and one metre wide, and our guide said they were engraved to help a young king (or emperor?) learn about his country. The most significant is Pingjiang Tu, a map of Suzhou’s old city dating from 1229 and showing the distinctive grid pattern which still survives. It’s the oldest surviving city map in China. The three other tablets date from 1247 and are respectively Dili Tu, which is one of the oldest national maps and shows China in the Song Dynasty, marked with cities, rivers, mountains and the Great Wall; Diwangshaoyun Tu, essentially an early family tree, which shows the lineage of ancient Chinese kings; and finally Tianwen Tu, the earliest surviving astronomical map of the Eastern skies, with over one thousand stars engraved into stone, making up constellations and the Milky Way. Again I was amazed by the antiquity and accuracy of these maps. We admire Renaissance mapmaking for introducing the bird’s eye view of cities, but 250 years earlier in China we have a cartographer making a map of an entire country seen from the air. Astonishing.

Suzhou Opera Museum

Now, I’m a complete beginner as far as Chinese opera is concerned – my only experience is watching Farewell My Concubine, which I think we can all agree doesn’t make me a viable critic – so I shall flounder through and do my best here. Suzhou Opera is kunqu, one of the oldest forms of Chinese opera, although I’d love to know more about how it differs from Peking Opera and hope that some wise person can tell me more in the comments. The people in Suzhou are very proud of it and there’s not just a museum devoted to opera, but also several theatres throughout the city, as well as evening recitals in a couple of places along Pingjiang Street. For a Westerner, especially one used to the flamboyant fireworks of Baroque opera, it’s intoxicatingly foreign but aesthetically absolutely gorgeous.

The exhibits in the Suzhou Opera Museum are most meaningful if you read Chinese and if you have an existing understanding of the art. While I appreciated seeing the breadth of the collections – from troupes’ account books to musical scores and libretti – I think most Western visitors will find the most enjoyable part of the Museum to be the performances. These happen on Sunday afternoons at 2pm and run for an hour or so. You won’t be seeing a full opera: kunqu opera sometimes runs to 22 hours, and so the Museum puts on a couple of scenes from a wider work. We saw two sections from one of the most famous Chinese plays, the Ming-Dynasty Peony Pavilion (1598, and thus contemporary with Shakespeare, as someone pointed out to us).

First, the heroine Du Liniang takes a walk in her garden with her maid; among the beauties of the garden, she falls asleep and dreams of a handsome young scholar, with whom she falls instantly in love. When she wakes and realises that she has no way to find her beloved, she pines away and dies. The second section we saw introduces us to the young man, Liu Mengmei, who is contemplating the drawing of a young woman who has recently died – none other than Du Liniang. Meditating on the portrait, Liu Mengmei is convinced that he has seen this beautiful woman before and, as the truth dawns on him (for he, too, had a dream), he prays for her to be reunited with him. Cue a deus ex machina, as the god of the underworld rules that these two lovers belong together, and everyone lives happily ever after. As I said to a friend, it’s like Orfeo, but more upbeat.

Kunqu opera is an acquired taste for Western ears and I haven’t yet acquired it completely. The singing sounds very slow, with some discordant twists of melody, but there were some interesting parallels in performance with the contemporary Baroque style. The romantic hero in kunqu opera sings in falsetto (although Liu Mengmei was a veritable clown, more like Bertie Wooster than one of Metastasio’s tortured heroes), and there was extensive use of very graceful hand gestures. But the most dazzling aspect was the costumes and makeup: the dazzling headdresses, flowing robes and astonishingly long sleeves, which were used as if they had a language as complex as that of fans in the West. I’ve been left longing to know more about the conventions and history of this style, and I hope it won’t be too long before one of the Chinese opera companies comes to do The Peony Pavilion again in London (I missed it at Sadler’s Wells in 2008).

So that’s my experience of Suzhou. There were several museums I didn’t have a chance to visit, and I didn’t manage to wander far beyond Pingjiang Street, but I had an amazing time and learned a huge amount about the city and Chinese history more broadly. I didn’t know enough about China to have any preconceptions, beyond the fact I thought it would be busy, modern and perhaps slightly bleak. Far from it: Suzhou was busy, all right, but its historical centre is a little jewel, and we were looked after incredibly well. It was a super experience and I really hope that work will take me back one day.

Suzhou Museum  ·  Suzhou Silk Museum

Museum of Inscribed Stone Tablets  ·  Opera Museum

5 thoughts on “Museums in Suzhou

    • The Idle Woman says:

      Thank you Sandra! Glad you enjoyed reading about them. Yes, that study is beautiful isn’t it? I can’t help feeling that I would be so serene and organised and productive if I worked in a room like that (and probably also slightly chilly).

      • Sandra says:

        As soon as I saw the photo, before I’d come to your own response to it, I felt all tension melt away. (Not that I was feeling particularly tense but I’m sure you know what I mean.) What I would give to have a room like that. It actually looks so modern; I think there must be a neat little fireplace just out of shot, especially for colder days 😉

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#PalestineLandDay: 44 years have passed, and the years on.

On this day in 1976, thousands of Palestinians marched in towns and villages across the Galilee region, in the north of occupied Palestine, to protest the occupation’s expropriation of vast tracts of land as part of its openly declared policy to “Judaize” the area at the expense of the indigenous population.

“Israel” shot and murdered 6 Palestinians, that day, injuring and jailing hundreds more.March 30 is known as Land Day. It has become a major commemorative date in the Palestinian political calendar and an important event in the Palestinian collective narrative – one that emphasizes Palestinian resistance to Israeli colonization and summed (steadfastness).

(Source: BDS Belfast)

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A former adviser to Donald Trump’s presidential campaign secretly pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about his contacts with representatives of the Russian government during the campaign. According to court documents unsealed Monday, George Papadopoulos, a foreign policy adviser on Trump’s campaign, confessed to repeatedly attempting to set up meetings between individuals connected to the Russian government and Trump, including people who claimed to have “dirt” about presidential rival Hillary Clinton in the form of “thousands of emails.”

Since his arrest, the unsealed document said, he has been cooperating with federal investigators.

In interviews earlier this year with FBI agents investigating possible Russian interference in the 2016 election, Papadopoulos repeatedly lied about his activities. On July 27, he was arrested while arriving at Dulles International Airport. He pleaded guilty on October 5.

Papadopoulos first joined the campaign as an adviser in early March 2016. According to court documents, later that month, while traveling in Italy, he met a London-based professor who claimed to have connections to the Russian government. Shortly thereafter, that individual introduced him to a woman who claimed to be a relative of Vladimir Putin. She met with him in London. Papadopoulos reported back to the Trump campaign several times that he was working on building connections with Russian officials, stating at a meeting on the last day of March, attended by Trump, that he had connections that could “help arrange a meeting between then-candidate Trump and President Putin.”

White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders dismissed Papadopoulos as a campaign “volunteer,” whose ideas were variously ignored or rebuffed.

Within a month, Papadopoulos was introduced to an individual claiming to be connected to the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs to try and set up such a meeting. On April 26, he met the professor at a London hotel, where he was informed about the “dirt”: “The Russians had emails of Clinton.” From here, Papadopoulos furiously communicated with Trump campaign officials to set up meetings between them and representatives of the Russian government. He thanked his contact for helping to make these connections, telling them that “it’s history-making if it happens.”

Roughly two months after their first meeting, in May 2016, Papadopoulos received a message from his contact that “I have just talked to my colleagues from the MFA. The[y] are open for cooperation.” Papadopoulos communicated this back to a “high-ranking campaign official” and continued to have discussions with members of the Trump campaign about Russia throughout the month.

A footnote in the government document sheds additional light on the discussions within the Trump camp at the time. After hearing about Russia’s entreaties for a Trump visit, one senior campaign official forwarded the note on May 21 to another and added, “We need someone to communicate that DT is not doing these trips. It should be someone low level in the campaign so as not to send any signal.”

The footnote has been flagged on social media as suspicious and, indeed, its appearance in the government document lends it that quality, but the explanation could also be a political one: The campaign did not want Trump visiting Russia during the election because the political signal it could send might not have been helpful. The question, then, is what would the goal of the trip be for the low-level staffer? Would the trip have been aimed at improving relations with Russia or colluding around the release of “dirt”? The outcome of Mueller’s investigation will hinge on such still-unanswered questions.

According to the court filings, “From mid-June through mid-August 2016, PAPADOPOULOS pursued an ‘off the record’ meeting between one or more Campaign representatives and ‘members of president putin’s office and the mfa.'” After much back and forth about Trump or representatives of his campaign, on or about August 15, 2016, a “campaign supervisor” told Papadopoulos, “‘I would encourage you’ and another foreign policy adviser to the Campaign to ‘make the trip,’ if it is feasible,” according to court filings. According to the document, that trip ultimately did not take place.

If those efforts began in mid-June, that would place it after a much-discussed June 9 meeting between Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner, representing the Trump campaign, and Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya, who had offered the Russian government’s help in the campaign. The lawyer promised information that “would incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia and would be very useful to your father,” according to an email sent to Trump Jr. “This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.”

Trump’s son replied: “If it’s what you say, I love it, especially later in the summer.”

Veselnitskaya came to the meeting with talking points that mirrored ones the Russian government had provided to Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif.

During interrogations with FBI investigators earlier this year, Papadopoulos repeatedly lied about the extent and nature of his activities and the timing of his contacts between Kremlin-connected individuals and the Trump campaign. He also deleted his Facebook account and opened a new one, in what appeared to be an ill-fated effort to conceal past communications.

The new revelations puts Attorney General Jeff Sessions in Mueller’s spotlight. Sessions has made repeated claims that he had no knowledge of collusion with the Russian government and never knew anything about Russian hacking into the emails of the Democratic National Committee nor campaign chair John Podesta.

The problem for Sessions is straightforward. Papadopoulos was a foreign policy adviser to the campaign, and Sessions’s portfolio on the campaign included foreign policy, heading a national security committee on the campaign.

Sessions has already been forced to revise what he called misstatements, having denied meeting with Russian officials only to later acknowledge such meetings took place. Sessions met at least twice with then-Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak, initially claiming that the discussion only focused on foreign policy. It later emerged that Kislyak said the opposite in a memo to his superiors back home, telling Moscow he had talked about the campaign with Sessions.

Earlier this month, Sessions appeared again before the Senate Judiciary Committee and denied any improper conduct. “Let me just say this, without hesitation, that I conducted no improper discussions with Russians at any time regarding a campaign or any other item facing this country,” he said.

Mueller’s ability to make his case — if there is one to make — will be strengthened by two other arrests made Monday, that of Manafort and his associate Rick Gates.

Manafort is a long-time D.C. consultant, having begun his career advising Gerald Ford’s re-election campaign in 1976. He since served as a lobbyist and international gun-for-hire, developing close ties with a number of severe human rights violators. Manafort has advised Mobutu Sese Seko, the longtime military dictator of the Democratic Republic of Congo, and Ferdinand Marcos, a famously corrupt dictator of the Philippines.

But Manafort’s most infamous relationship is with Ukrainian strongman Viktor Yanukovych, a pro-Russian politician who was removed during an uprising in 2014. According to Mueller’s indictment, Manafort ran a “multi-million dollar” lobbying campaign for Yanokovich from 2006 to 2014, involving two D.C. law firms, all while illegally concealing that he was acting on behalf of a foreign government.

Under the Foreign Agents Registration Act, people who are paid to represent foreign governments must register and publicly disclose sources of income.

In addition, the indictment says that Manafort laundered more than $18 million through shell companies in Cyprus, avoiding paying taxes on the money while he used it to buy expensive clothing and cars. In July, the New York Times reported that shell companies connected to Manafort owed Russian interests more than $17 million dollars – a clear red flag that someone could be pressured by a foreign government.

In 2006, Manafort bought an apartment on the 43rd floor of Trump tower through a company he controlled. He lived in the tower since and transferred it to his name in 2015.

In 2016, Manafort was initially hired — for free — by Trump to help wrangle delegates for the Republican convention — a job he once did for Ford. But he effectively became campaign manager in June of 2016, after Trump fired Corey Lewandowski. Manafort’s rise to prominence in the campaign attracted suspicion from many commentators, who saw his ascent as a sign of Trump’s affinity for overseas strongmen. He stepped down after it emerged he had been the recipient of $12 million in off-the-books payments.

Correction: Oct. 31, 2017
This article originally misstated the date of George Papadopoulos’s arrest.

Top photo: George Papadopoulos.


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Travel Cheap: Tips for Summer Vacation

By Donny Yankle

Students who want to get out and explore the world this summer have options, even on a budget.  airplane

Sheri Elliott, who works at Traveline on campus, and Danielle Dougan, public relations manager at StudentUniverse — a website offering travel options for students — offered up their tips for students looking to travel.

Travelling Outside the Country is Not Out of the Question

Dougan mentioned that heading overseas is possible on a budget. According to the StudentUniverse website, round trip flights from New York to Dublin run about $500. While it may be too late to try this year, Elliott said many students facilitate overseas travel by enrolling in study abroad programs.

Take Advantage of Travel Agents

Elliott said students should take advantage of on-campus travel agents, because they’re free and experts. Dougan also said StudentUniverse negotiates prices for students between 18-26, taking their budgets into account. You just need an .edu email address.

Keep an Open Mind

Both Elliott and Dougan said keeping an open mind will improve travel experiences. Don’t limit yourself. They also said you can save money by traveling in groups. Travelers who bundle flights and hotels or receive group rates will spend less.

Flexibility Will Save You Money

Being flexible saves money, because some days are cheaper to travel than others. While travelers may arrive or depart from less popular airports, they’ll end up with more money to spend when they get to where they’re going.

Keep an Eye Out for Hidden Fees

“Be careful booking online for travel,” Elliott said. “There may be hidden fees that don’t initially show up in the bottom line.”

Much like buying a $35 concert ticket and being hit with an extra $15 in service fees at checkout, travel sites often hide service fees as well. Keep an eye out.


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Goblin Mindset: Abundance mindset

There are two fairly common modes of thinking about the world that have to do with how easy it is attain resources. Scarcity versus abundance. A scarcity mindset will contribute to limiting yourself and should be avoided, especially in world of warcraft goldmaking.

Characteristics of Scarcity Mindset

A scarcity mindset will have the basic belief that gold is hard to come by. That competition is too high or that if you start focusing on gold making the pie gets smaller.

This might not be strictly speaking false, but believing in this will contribute to making setbacks more demoralizing. The other main issue of a scarcity mindset is that it focuses on the limitations and hurdles you face.

Characteristics of Abundance mindset

An abundance mindset will on the other hand focus on the possibilities. Some beliefs that will characterize this include the belief that more goldmaking is better for everyone. That gold is easy to obtain if you just help people.

Obviously I have an abundance mindset. I even share freely available my methods, down to the tiniest detail of my TSM settings.

The advantage of an abundance mindset

There is one really important advantage of having an abundance mindset. The focus on possibilities. Focusing on the opportunities and what you can do is so much better than focusing on limitiations. If you keep thinking about possibilities then you will get ideas you can test out.

You will naturally be drawn to experimentation with new markets and improve your auction house setup.

Shifting to an abundance mindset

To shift towards a more abundant mindset you should draw your mental focus inward. Focus on what you are doing and what you can improve.

Avoid thinking about anything in terms of the limitations. The opportunities to make gold are literally endless. There are still hundreds of things I haven’t even tried in terms of goldmaking. WoW has thousands of items and thousands of mobs and you can combine these things in more ways than I can ever cover.

“I Can”

Don’t fall in the trap of believing you can’t do something.

Believe in yourself. You can always improve, and you can always get back to where you are now.

If you want to level up your gold making come join me on Patreon and get access to awesome rewards like Early Access to all my posts.

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One Day at a Time Lives to See Another Day

By Ashtyn Britt

After being cancelled by the popular streaming service Netflix, the show “One Day at a Time” had been saved and has started airing on the POP TV Channel, along with other shows such as Schitt’s Creek, Florida Girls, Big Brother: After Dark and more. POP TV is a branch under the ViacomCBS company, who also owns TV Channels such as Nickelodeon, the BET Network, Paramount Motion Pictures, MTV, TV Land and the CBS channels.

“One Day at a Time” stars Justina Machado, Rita Moreno, Isabella Gomez, Marcel Ruiz, Todd Grinnell, Stephen Tobolowsky and Sheridan Pierce and features the life of a Cuban-American family being raised by a single mother. As an avid fan, I was just as upset as many others were when it had been announced that “One Day at a Time” was not being renewed for a fourth season. I had not heard anything had changed until a month ago when I accidentally found the fourth season trailer on YouTube telling of the new season beginning on a new network.

Ever the loyal fan, I made a note to download the POP TV app and mark my calendar for when the episodes would air (every Tuesday morning) in order to watch them. So far, there have been four episodes, which have been exactly as funny and magical as the first three seasons of the show.

The only noticeable difference is how the show tackles more adult subject matter than beforehand, although serious subject matter is not necessarily far off from the show’s norm. Previously, issues being tackled included LGBTQ+ rights, racism, classism, mental health, addiction and what makes a family. I could not recommend this show enough to anyone willing to watch it, as well as the fans who did not know it had been saved by another network. The POP TV app is available in the app stores for free.

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A Guide to Becoming Whole: An Essential Part of Success and Successful Relationships

And we wonder why our lives feel like a glass filled with holes in which happiness and people dissolve faster than we can really enjoy them? It is much easier to feel incomplete, empty, and lonely in this world than to believe that within ourselves lies the capacity to be whole. Two is supposed to be better than one, so how can we hope that half of us and half of another person will ever equal a dynamic duo. Ultimately, we either believe that as human beings we are born whole, but become pierced and broken over time, or we believe that we are born as weak, broken, empty persons expected to find fullness throughout our lifetime.

Regardless of personal philosophies, at one or more times in our life, circumstance, experience, fear or poor self-image causes most of us to succumb to the feeling of inadequacy. It sucks because we are told that the foundation of successful relationships (of any kind) is built by bricks of individuality and completeness. After loss, hurt, and disappointment, we are admonished that healing is essential to regain our wholeness. But how? How can we fill voids that we often are not aware we even have? Moreover, if we knew how to fill these voids, we would not have them to begin with. They are unique as the pieces of a puzzle, certain to make everyone’s journey to discovering and understanding how to become whole a very individual one. Ultimately, no one can make you whole because no one understands your complete picture like you and God.

So, after spending countless hours of my early years assuming that I was incomplete without particular people, relationships, and other “things,” and after many failed Google searches, internal conversations, broken-hearted moments, failures, and struggles with self-image, somewhere along the way, I started to become whole, or maybe I just started to believe in my already existent wholeness. Let this guide save you time and emotions. Friends, it is time to pick up the pieces, fill in the gaps, and become whole.

1. Acknowledge the areas in which you feel incomplete and inadequate. This may take some digging or honesty with yourself, but it is an important step. As in the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, “admission is the first step to recover.” You may not be an alcoholic, but most people sure are addicted to the negativity that keeps them feeling less than whole. According to Leonard Noel, “acceptance does not mean that we agree with what is happening or that we believe it must continue… Acceptance means that we are able to gaze into the face of the present and say, ’You are in front of me, and I acknowledge you are here.'”

2. Uncover the experiences that started creating “voids” in your life. Once you acknowledge the areas in which you feel there are a voids, you also need to start the process of understanding how they got there so that you can forgive whomever needs to be forgiven, and then forgive yourself. In reality, no one has that much control over you to permanently create a void in your life, unless you allow it. You just might need to take back that piece of yourself that you gave away.

3. Identify the behaviors and negative coping you have used to deal with and cover up the voids or hurts. Often, we do not even notice that we are not whole or that we are broken because we are so good at telling ourselves that we are okay. Sometimes it is by examining our behaviors that we see that we are overcompensating for the incompleteness that we feel.

4. Consider your self-image. In order to become whole, or accept the fact that we are whole beings separate from others, we must believe that we are capable of and strong enough to be whole. Of course we all have imperfections, and might always have them, but imperfections do not always equal inadequacy. Think positive, be positive, and then have a positive self-image.

5. Accept your uniqueness. Most times we do not feel whole because we feel inadequate in some way. It is critical to accept and find peace in the fact that we are different and were created to be different. We typically strive to be different, but spend more time comparing ourselves to others than working on being unique. If we always look to complete ourselves with what other people are, we will never be whole. Someone else’s uniqueness was never meant for you.

6. Understand your reasons for wanting that relationship. I am inserting this here because being whole is important for having good relationships with other people, especially relationships with “significant others” or spouses. However, many people chase relationships instead of wholeness all because Jerry Maguire said “you complete me.” No. They should make you better, not make you.

7. Understand that people’s behaviors are not always your fault. Most of our feelings of inadequacy come as a results of what other people have said and done to us. They do or say something. We blame ourselves. They support and echo the blame. We try to change ourselves to “fix it.” Then, they find something else or become a prick about another thing. Maybe sometimes it is your fault, but in other cases, they are the sole issue and source of the problem. Do not internalize and degrade yourself for something that is not even your issue. Some people have major issues and their behaviors originate out of those screwed up issues.

8. Don’t let society make you feel incomplete. Now this is a hard one. The images and norms that bombard us make it difficult to not feel empty or inadequate. I don’t know about you, but some of what the Joneses, celebrities, and other people have is quite attractive. But, we must be careful not to judge ourselves against another man’s standard which will likely change in the next five years. In many ways, society is warped. Trying not to internalize every thought and image it shoves in your face will be essential to feeling whole. Have or have not, maybe physiological voids at times, but you are still a whole soul.

9. Maintain your wholeness. Arriving at a place where you feel whole does not mean you will feel that way forever. It is important to maintain a positive self-image and constantly keep your mind polished. Things that go untouched accumulate debris. Such will become your feeling of being whole if you do not maintain it. Be willing and committed to investing in YOU.

10. Protect your wholeness. Inevitably, there will be times when you will lose people that were intricately woven into your life. In many ways, they might have been crucial in helping you maintain the feeling of being whole. It is in those times that you have to try your hardest to accept the loss, find some piece of closure, or heal. Be careful not to fall into the trap of quickly “replacing” them because subconsciously you feel lost and incomplete with them. This might be hard. In other situations, protecting your wholeness will be less about who you lost and more about who you choice to add or allow in your life.

Hopefully, you found something in this post that has helped you become more whole as a person. Now that you are whole, go out and help someone else get there, but be patient and remember that it did not happen for you overnight.

One thought on “A Guide to Becoming Whole: An Essential Part of Success and Successful Relationships

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