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Inside money, markets, and Big Tech

This article was published on May 13, 2010

    New Social Networking Darling Diaspora* Has An Idea Problem

    New Social Networking Darling Diaspora* Has An Idea Problem
    Alex Wilhelm
    Story by

    Alex Wilhelm

    Alex Wilhelm is a San Francisco-based writer. You can find Alex on Twitter, and on Facebook. You can reach Alex via email at [email protected] Alex Wilhelm is a San Francisco-based writer. You can find Alex on Twitter, and on Facebook. You can reach Alex via email at [email protected]

    To begin, congratulations to the Diaspora* team on their initial fundraising success. I fully appreciate the sentiment behind their project; they have touched a nerve among the thousands of people who feel jilted by Facebook’s recent actions.

    That said, the idea behind Diaspora* (its implementation) is overly complex and won’t work for the large majority of Facebook users. That is not to say that there is no problem to fix, as we’ve seen online privacy is being eroded by Facebook at wicked speed. New Facebook users don’t understand how the site’s privacy settings work, and are thus overly exposed from their first day on Facebook on. Facebook does little to help them.

    As Facebook finds its legs among the older and less technologically inclined, it needs serious competition to force it to abdicate its new system of assumed openness. When Diaspora* was announced, it garnered press, excitement, and over $100,000 in funding  because people understand that. No one wants to let Zuckerberg decide the future of online privacy by himself. Given all of that, how does this Diaspora* work, and how well will it be received?

    Technology Overview

    Diaspora* gives its users privacy by forcing them to host their own node that contains their information. If the company does not have access to your data, it can hardly infringe on your privacy. In Diaspora*’s words:

    Diaspora* aims to be a distributed network, where totally separate computers connect to each other directly, will let us connect without surrendering our privacy. We call these computers ‘seeds’. A seed is owned by you, hosted by you, or on a rented server.

    The seed is an aggregator that will gather your content from around the internet into a central location, your server. Link your seed to my seed and we can share and converse. Exactly what the connection will do between the seeds is yet to be fully fleshed out.

    In short, you host your own profile that is a amalgamation of your life online, and share with a select group of people.

    This Is Too Complex

    Not to say that hosting a personal FriendFeed and attempting to link it to my friends and their own FriendFeeds does not sound like fun, but it would be mind-numbingly tedious for most. The friction to get started is far too high for this project to ever gain real traction.

    But wait,” you may cry,” if the company has raised so much money why is its idea untenable?” It’s simple. People are mad at Facebook and they wanted to vent. They blew off steam by throwing dollars into the Diaspora* project.

    Your parents probably recently joined Facebook. It must have been a hellish weekend walking them through the website and teaching them how it works. Imagine trying to get them to set up their own server to join Diaspora*. We technology minded people would find it a fun challenge, for everyone else it is a joke to even consider.

    The Simple Solution Is Not

    Diaspora* hopes to alleviate the tension that I just outlined by letting people rent space on communal servers. All the technological problems are therefore moot, and Diaspora* has a chance, right?

    Not at all. By moving the data to a server that you are renting part of to host your seed, you are losing the whole point of Diaspora*: control over your data. Fine then, you might say, let the company rent server time to its users thus ending the fear of letting a sketchy company control your seed. That is another non-starter. Diaspora* does not want to control your data, and you do not want to afford them the ability to do so. If you want full privacy, you cannot let Diaspora* host your seed.

    You either take the time and headache of setting up your own server, or you violate the core point of Diaspora* and pay someone else to handle that work for you. Either way, something is not right.

    Will People Pay?

    If they cannot handle the tech problem of setting up their own seed server, and are content to live with someone having their data, users still have to pay to have their seed hosted. In short, they have to pay for what they used to get for free, all the while not solving the problem they set out to do. Even more, if I am paying for hosting the more I use the host the more I have to pay. In short, the more I use Diaspora*, the larger the bills I might be on the hook for.

    What is the value proposition?

    All Together

    Disapora* has the right drive, but the wrong vision. The good news is that the team will have more than $100,000 to work with this summer. They can fine tune and refine their idea to make it something that we would use.

    Facebook needs to be taken down a peg, and these might be the guys to do it. With proper guidance their enthusiasm could become a social revolution. Good luck guys.


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Image of Wayne captured by Sara Kipin (@sarakipin on twitter)

An Eremetic Flameheart Apostate who Shepherds Minds

Order: Apostate, formerly Maker

Wayne is a reclusive & irascible Apostate and detective, though he is known to be great at parties – much to his own disdain. Formerly of the Makers guild he was removed from their order for ignoring his duties in favour of pursing his own quest.

Wayne believes that someone important has been removed from his life & memories and is willing to go to extraordinary lengths to restore them. Wanye resides in a spherical home – dubbed The Waynosphere – which is guarded by Gertrude, a dapper cat-shaped being. He is romantically entangled with both Opine and Lucy Bright, although he does not reciprocate the latter’s affection.

It may be difficult to befriend Wayne given his gruff nature, but those he does call his allies find a driven companion with few boundaries he is unwilling to cross. His rejection of the Path of Suns gives him a startling array of unconventional abilities and he often has a surprising but effective response to any given problem and those facing him find themselves arrayed against a dangerous foe with little regard for the limits that might stay another hand.

Known Associates

Related Dossiers

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September 28, 2021

The Only Football

Get The Latest NFL News And More!

Lloyd Cushenberry III reflects on Year 1 in Denver

5 min read
Lloyd Cushenberry III reflects on Year 1 in Denver

In this year’s edition of “Rookie Diaries,” third-round pick Lloyd Cushenberry III offers us a first-person look at his rookie season in Denver. During the inevitable ups and downs of his first year with the Broncos, Cushenberry has reflected on big moments, defining plays and his growth as a player and person.

In this final installment, Cushenberry takes a look back at what he learned during his rookie season — and what is still on the horizon.

My rookie season definitely was a blur. It went by so fast. I just saw a picture from draft night of me and my family, and it felt like just yesterday that everything was just starting. Now one season is already done. It went by fast. I’m blessed that I came out healthy and with no major injuries. Obviously it was a disappointing year, but we’re going to be better.

It meant a lot to me to play every snap. I didn’t realize it until somebody mentioned it to me, but it’s a blessing to come out healthy and be out there every single snap. Being out there all the time, you’re bound to get better. That’s one thing I’ve tried to do this entire year is just continue to get better. To gain this experience going into next year, it’s going to be big for me. It means a lot to me that I played every single snap. It’s something I take pride in. Even in practice, I try not to miss a rep. I’ve been out there every snap in practice and in games. It’s definitely a blessing.

When I look back at the year, I started to gain confidence around the New England game, and then moving forward, in the later part of the season, I thought I played my best game the second time we played Kansas City on the road. We were disappointed we didn’t win the game, but I thought we were out there playing physical and fast. That’s when I realized I could do this on a consistent basis, and I tried to make it a habit. It started with the New England game and then against Kansas City the second time we played them, it was a real turning point for me to tell myself that I could play with the best of the best.

When you realize that, it’s a little bit of both excitement and motivation. After you get that taste, you just want to continue to get better. That was my approach every day in going to practice, going to workouts. I just wanted to get better and show that I could play at this level. I haven’t been as consistent as I’d like, but just reaching for that goal of consistency and playing fast and physical and making plays, that’s what I work for. That’s what I play for. That’s what I’ll continue to work for this offseason. It wasn’t a good year by any means, but it’s something to look forward to and get excited about. I can do this thing, and we’ve got good things ahead of us.

The biggest challenge for me this season was adapting to the physicality. Mentally, I feel like, even from Day 1 — not to say I was 100 percent there mentally — but the mental part of the game never was a problem for me. I spent a lot of time on film study and doing things on my own to prepare. It’s just more physical and technique-wise. Every year you want to get stronger as an O-lineman. We’re going against big, fast D-linemen all the time, so we want to get stronger. Really, this offseason will be about just getting that technique down and overall just working on my body, changing my diet.

As a line, I think we can be great. We have a good mix of young guys and veterans. Guys stepped up. We’ve got a Hall of Fame coach in [Offensive Line] Coach [Mike] Munchak, and [Assistant OL] Coach [Chris] Kuper is there helping us out. I feel like we can be a great line for years to come. In my opinion, in order for us to get to that level, I have to take a step forward. I have to take a big leap from Year 1 to Year 2, and that’s what I plan on doing. I have a lot of confidence in myself. I know I’m going to work my butt off. I’m more motivated than ever after this season to get this thing turned around. I feel like I can take a big leap. I’m just going to put my head down and work and not do too much talking about it and just do it.

Looking ahead, I can’t wait to hopefully play in front of fans next year. I never realized it until I had to play without fans that it’s a big deal. Just the momentum and the energy when you come out to fans booing you or cheering you, it definitely gives you a boost. I can’t wait to get back to that. I’ve heard from players and people around that building that our fans are crazy at home, so I can’t wait to get that going next year.

In all, my rookie season was a huge sacrifice. A lot of things went into this year to make it continue to roll. A lot of people played a big part — from the COVID testers every day to everyone in the building, the janitors, and everyone cleaning up behind us. It was a weird year. Everyone had to make sacrifices, but hopefully next year we can get back to normal — at least a little bit — and move on from 2020.


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So Mike Guglielmucci has made a huge mistake. There are a number of people who are making comments…

My friend Chezz talks about leadership in difficult times

Chris Denham asks how should we deal with this

Both point to an article by Mal Fletcher and another blog shows him speaking about this on youtube

The long and the short of it is this: he has made a mistake. Haven’t we all. I like how this Pastor is responding to it all by asking questions of his own relationship with God.

The first thing that came to my mind was that we need to be careful. Are we not all just one silly mistake away from losing it all? Is our integrity intact? Have we never made any mistakes? Are you someone who never sins? How is your relationship with God? Are you keeping strong in the Christian basics?

3 things that Jesus said are probably a good place to start
‘Let him without sin cast the first stone’.
‘Judge not, lest you be judged’
‘First take the plank out of your own eye before you comment about the speck in others’

God’s grace is amazing. He truly is the God of the second chance and don’t know about you, I’ve been glad for that a few times, so maybe that makes him the God of the second, third, fourth….and more chances. His love for us never changes. Nothing we can do can make him love us any less or any more and the same is true for Mike.

Just some thoughts…

11 thoughts on “Don’t Throw That Stone

  1. Perhaps the most shocking part is that the deception lasted (almost) 2 years. This is sadly more than a small indiscretion – but something that should be forgiven nonetheless.

    Having said that, I would be disappointed if the church simply forgave and moved forward without taking any lessons out of this.

    This is a fantastic time for soul-searching, and looking at how we can improve what we do. I only hope that leaders and lay Christians are wise in doing this.

  2. Thanks for the comment. In God’s eyes sin is sin. And forgiveness is not always easy and yes, I agree there must be some accountability for his actions.

    Maybe we believe people too easily. I have some great people around me. Do they challenge me strongly enough? Do they ask the right questions? Am I really willing to answer those questions? Do I do the same for them?

    Let’s learn and protect ourselves by becoming more honest and open.

  3. Yes we should not throw stones as our faith teaches to forgive but there is no doubt that thousands have been hurt by his actions. I believe Mick should travel the world, especially the churches where he has preached his message and NOW preach forgiveness. This way he can ask forgiveness and we can learn also to actually apply what we are supposed to believe. This would be an amazing and powerful opportunity for Mick and us all to put forgiveness into REAL action in a BIG way ! !

  4. My heart hurts with every new report I see on this. I can only imagine how his family must feel. I think it’s very obvious that Mike is a broken man, like all of us. However I don’t think it would be right for him to be put in a public role or preach again, or at least until he’s back on track, and there needs to be a fair bit of time in between now and then for God to walk him through this journey.

    Unfortunately, as much as forgiveness is vital to the healing process, we have to remember that this lie was told and maintained in the public eye and played on the faith and vulnerabilities of many broken people in desperate need of healing, and therefore it will take a long time before a lot of these people are ready to trust him again. God does work all things together for the good of those who love him, and we are (or should be) all behind Mike and his family in prayer during this difficult time. But the bottom line is that there are consequences here that extend beyond a man and his own struggles… I know of several teens that are really questioning their faith in God right now as a result, so I’m not convinced putting him back on a platform is the best way forward, given the damage done.

    We remember while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, so with that in mind we do our best to love and support a brother in Christ in this dark time.

  5. Lets talk forgiveness as a new christian i am so let down by this situation, as his song Healer gave me a my wife much strenght through a very recent REAL life threatening situation now we see it all as lies i just have to focus on Christ , But i must say i hope that any money that he has benefitted from his ministry of lies is put into something beneficial as i know cant listen to the song that we have purchased on a dvd and itunes , it turns my stomach!!
    Hope im not throwing stones as i know i am a filthy sinner only made right daily by our Lords grace.
    Cheers Ed

  6. Thanks for the comments. This is an incredibly emotive subject.

    I love the song Healer, partly due to the story behind it but I liked what Mal Fletcher said in his statement that the truths are still true. Although the testimony has gone the words of the song stand true because God never changes. People will let you down, and it is hard, but God does not let you down, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins.

    This are obviously challenging times. Surely our faith is based on more than a song? Is it not based on what God had done for us?

  7. Hey guys… I just popped on, and I think i have something to say. I am not a big hillsong/planetshaker lover… I am not in to the whole big church thing, but each to their own, hey? And I heard about this from a friend, and my heart broke for the kids that hold on to his words and have been affected by it. And I dont know if people will read this, but I just want to encourage you and let you know that it is still ok to hold on to the truth that Mike wrote in those words to that song. Because although it wasn’t true for him, there is still much Godly truth in. God’s truth can be found in anything… even things that seem not quite right.

    And I think this can be a lesson in that it encourages us to find our own faith as well. After watching church culture over the years, I notice that it is so easy to “idolise” people in leadership – and this happens so much (especially in the “mega-church” scene). We can not put our hope in the words of man, because man will let us down. It is only God that gives us hope and in his truth alone. My prayer is that people can stop putting pastors as the holy of holy’s in their lives and to really find out what faith is to them. I think this is important, because I really think that the way we think needs to change. Let us be the Christians that God has called us to be, and really challenge what we have thought to be true.., I think God is so much bigger than anything that we can muster up.. and he has got so much more to say to us!!

  8. i totally agree. We’re all human who makes mistakes. “Healer” didn’t come from him, but from God. I believe he wrote that song so that he can be free from his addiction. Honestly, i’m proud of Mike because he did what he had to do. It takes alot of guts to come out and repent.

    Now is the moment where we christians around the world are tested – will we condemn him because he sinned and “stone” him, or should love and forgiveness reign in this situation, just like how we are taught in the church? Mike is just like any of us: bound by sin, yet still recepients of grace.

    God loves him and doesn’t condemn him, but that doesn’t give Mike the freedom to continue in his dark ways. As he had confessed his sin and chose to bring it to he light, i believe Mike can get restored, and he can change. Consequences are something he has to deal with. We shouldn’t be judgemental, after all, we all have sinned and hide ourselves because of shame. The good news is, we can never be too bad nor too dirty for God. He can clean us up.

    My prayer goes out to Mike and his whole family. And i hope that we can unite and help our brother in this time of need. Real Christians will let God’s love and forgiveness shine through themselves when we live what Jesus had thought us.

    Bless you guys.

  9. Hey, I agree with what’s being said. If you idolise someone in church, you raise them up on a pedastle. Theres only one person who wouldn’t trip up, and thats Jesus.

    Everyone is so suprised when things like this happen, but we’re all human and it’s inevitable. Mike’s life is magnified so much being in the position he is, so even though this seems pretty big. It’s nothing compared to the pressure he’s under.

    I think that through this everyone can learn that the leadership in Church isn’t completely pure. We all have the same opportunity to Sin regardless of our position. It’s just the medium in which people can sin which changes.

  10. Adding to what I said, Rheinhard Bonnke recently spoke at a conference I went to, Rocknations. Everyone raised him up so much, because of what he’s achieved etc. People think theres some sort of scale of how Christian you are which limits what you can do. The only thing that limits what you can do is that thinking.

    What I’m saying is lifting people up implies they’re more capable of ‘doing’ miracles and doing things for God yet.

    God is who the miracles stem and don’t we all have the same God inside of us? Mike is the same as everyone, just because he was the Worship Pastor doesn’t mean he can’t make the same mistakes.

    Peace out,

  11. I agree with a lot of the sentiments above. But am left shaking my head and wondering….how can we be so decieved…where is the power, where is the authority of God…how can those that are listening and hearing in the spirit….those on the wall…the watchmen and seers the bible tells us about be so duped. How can someone so public hide without being exposed or at the very least called to account and corrected before 2 years time…to save everyone disgrace and heart ache. After asking this over and over I believe we can only account for ourselves and doing a reality check ask to have discernment not only for ourselves, but the body…
    I once knew a youth who asked my son who was putting together rap gigs in T.O. a very hard question..he was a secular music producer who asked are you a christian doing rap music, or a rapper doing christian music…even the world knows the difference…so it brings me back again with the moving of God and excitement in this generation and next to ask why as the church are we so deceived
    just a question that I beleive will only be resolved with prayer

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Nineteen years after the fall of Milosevic, Serbia is still fighting for press freedoms, as though it is Groundhog Day. The Serbian government controls the media and does not let any news that deviates from the official narrative get out. Gathered around ‘1 of 5 Million’ protest in Belgrade, Serbs continue to demand free press. While the world is watching.

June 13, 1990—Under the slogan “Serbia Demands Freedom” the first rally of the opposition parties in Belgrade for liberation from state control of the Serbian Public Service Broadcaster (RTS)  took place. In response, Slobodan Milosevic sent the police to the streets of Belgrade to intervene and dispel the protestors. Over one hundred people were injured in clashes with the police. That was twenty-nine years ago.

March 9, 1991 —A rally against the government monopoly of the news disseminated through the Serbian Public Service Broadcaster (RTS) at the Republic Square in Belgrade, made one hundred thousand Serbs get out on the streets, unarmed, pressing press freedoms. Without any hesitation, Slobodan Milosevic sent the police to beat up the protestors, the majority of them students and ordinary citizens. At the order of Borisav Jovic, at that time the President of the Presidency of  SFRY, army tanks were sent to assist the police against the protestors who wanted to live in the country with free press. 2 people were killed that day, 203 were injured and 108 people were arrested.

October 5, 2000 — tens of thousands of citizens gathered in protest in front of that same Serbian Public Service Broadcaster (RTS), repeating their demands for media freedoms and democracy. Realizing that they had no other option, they stormed the building of the state-controlled media and sequestered the director. That day, nineteen years ago, Slobodan Milosevic was removed from power.

March 16, 2019— during the ‘1 of 5 Million’ rally, four hundred people stormed the Serbian Public Service Broadcaster (RTS) demanding to go live on air. Like in the 90s, cordons of police showed up quickly and 18 people were arrested including a high school student.

It’s  2019 and Serbia still does not have free press

Since 1990,  Serbs have been giving all they have to a long-fought struggle against the state control of free press. Nineteen years after the fall of Milosevic, people still cannot criticize the government without fear of repercussions. On November 23, 2018, a member of the Serbian opposition and a strong critic of president Vucic was attacked and beaten up in Krusevac, a town in the Serbian south. Violence against him catapulted the opposition led by former Belgrade mayor Dragan Djilas, to organize and form the  “Alliance for Serbia” that would initiate the first public rally in protests of suppression of democratic freedoms.

Since then, the protest entitled “ 1 of 5 million” attracted hundreds of thousands of Serbs who are regularly taking to the street to voice their dissatisfaction with President Aleksandar Vucic’s regime. Initially, the protests were held only in Belgrade. But since January 2019, people in more than 100 Serbian cities and towns joined to create their own protest under the same banner of “1 of 5 million”.

Media freedom indicators in Serbia do not fit into the definition of democracy

The state of media freedoms in Serbia was marked as one of the lowest democracy indicators. Media freedoms, one of the basic human rights and the foundation of every democratic and law-abiding country, is imperiled in Serbia.

Hate speech and political abuse of the media is fast evolving, while the number of attacks on journalists is on the rise. In 2017,  92 attacks were reported. In the first eight months of 2018, there have been 57 assaults against journalists. In December, the house of an independent journalist,  Milan Jovanovic, editor of Zig Info,  was burned down to the ground in the suburb of  Belgrade.

What do the protestors what?

What  “1 of 5 million” protestors demand are a free and fair election and deliberation of Public broadcasting service. The protest has been going on for the past 16 weeks and during this period nobody from the organized was invited to be interviewed or go live on air at  Serbian Public Service Broadcaster (RTS).

The only reason why the protestors entered the  Serbian Public Service Broadcaster (RTS) on the evening of March 16, 2019  is the state induced control of the media that prohibits any kind of criticism to be aired on national television.

After the police intervened, president Aleksandar Vucic posted a photo of him playing a game of chess with a Minister of the Interior – projecting onto the world an image of political leisure. The opposition has called for snap general elections and announced a mass protest on April 13, 2019, if their demands are not met by the Vucic government.

For free and fair elections to happen in Serbia, citizens need the help of the international community as was the case with the Przno Agreement in the Republic of Macedonia where the European Union mediated among political parties. The U.S. administration could also assist in the process. With this kind of a guarantee, the Serbian opposition parties would have the chance to change the government through a fair and democratic vote.

Milos Djajic

President of the Steering Committee of the Center of Modern Skills, Belgrade, Serbia.


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workplace wellness

Would you like to work for a company that celebrates workplace wellness? Winners of the inaugural Employee Recommended Workplace Award share their tips for workplace wellness.

Be open to new ideas

Alastair Macdonald, senior vice-president, human resources, Nestlé Canada Inc., Toronto says that “Not too long ago an employee introduced a meditation program that is now run on Skype for employees working offsite to join”. An interesting thing is that this idea came from an employee and not from the management team, which showed that the leadership was open to listen and implement new ideas for workplace wellness.

Create a workplace that celebrates people

Danny Soucy, Executive Director of the New Brunswick Association for Community Living, reveals that one of their workplace wellness strategies is celebrating staffs’ milestones. Examples include staffs birthdays and sending personal emails.  “ We make sure we have potlucks or socials that are happening here and there throughout the year. Everybody can come and share life, that type of thing. That culture is nourished here at the office or throughout our offices and it keeps growing,” Soucy said.  All of these initiatives endorse a celebratory environment that causes staff to flourish and grow.

Offer programs that promote health and wellness

Sheila Kendall, Vice President of Human Resources at  L.V. Lomas states that the company has a variety of programs and initiatives that promote health. This includes health checks, wellness fairs, education sessions, weight management, a health and safety committee and much more. Kendall says that offering a variety of programs will provide an opportunity for staff to participate in a program that interests them.

Integrate physical activity into the office space

Colleen McCarville, Vice – President of Human Resources at Killam Apartment Real Estate says that her company is intentional in integrating physical activity in office space. “ Wellness is every day, it’s part of what we do here at our offices and we don’t think of it as wellness programming, it really is how we do our work,”  said McCarville. She also added that they have meetings over the treadmill and that the fitness classes are offered to employees. The success of their workplace wellness strategy is that the lines are blurred between fitness and work.

Consistent communication is vital to a workplace’s success

For Scott Foster, Director of Sales and Marketing at NEBS PAYweb and Payce payroll, the key to workplace wellness strategy is constant communication with their staff. Practicing good communication can be as simple as sending an email to a member of staff when there is a new visitor in the office.

Focus on the Family

Michael Duschenes, Managing Director and Chief Operating Officer at  Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics, reveals that incorporating employees’ families in the workplace is important. His company has a  family-friendly facility and the building is filled with blackboards.  “It’s not uncommon to see blackboards full of math on the top section and down at the bottom doodles of cats or fish because we have a lot of events where we have families come into the building.” Duschenes’ company also hosts weekly family nights in the company’s restaurant.

Does your company have any workplace wellness strategies? Comment below!

Habiba Abudu

Habiba is a writer and photographer based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. She writes on a variety of topics including, relationships, lifestyle and world affairs.


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Space Art Summer School in Moscow concludes

Space Art Summer School 2020

And that’s a wrap for likely the world’s first space art program held online! What a world-bending mind-exploding summer / Aussie winter. Thank you to our hosts, Natalia Fuchs and Peter Kirn @pkirn, and to our institutional host, the Moscow Museum of Cosmonautics and to my very inspiring co-participants. Looking forward to developing our projects and collaborations in this new world. Stay tuned for updates. Спасибо!

The full list of participants include:

1. Chad Eby / US
2. Fahmi Mursyid / Indonesia
3. Markus Schroll / Germany
4. Mami Mizushina / Japan / UK
5. Boris Shershenkov / Russia
6. Cody Sowerby / UK
7. Liudmila Siewerski / Germany
8. Nitzan Satt / Israel
9. Kris Pilcher / USA
10. Luke Hooper / Netherlands
11. Kristina Mikhailova / Kazakhstan
12. Adriana Knouf / USA
13. Catherine Sarah Young / Philippines / Australia
14. Afroditi Psarra / USA
15. Sasha Rindisbacher / USA
16. Louise Beer / UK
17. Alexey Yepishev / Russia
18. Daniil Posazhennikov / Russia
19. Fabiane Morais Borges / Brazil
20. Hellen Boyko / Russia

So cool, our certificates are signed by curator Natalia Fuchs, co-host Peter Kirn, and Hero of the Soviet Union, Aleksandr Laveykin, a retired Soviet cosmonaut who flew in the Mir EO-2, the second long duration expedition to the Soviet space station Mir, and was both launched and landed with the spacecraft Soyuz TM-2. He spent 174 days 3 hrs 25 minutes in space (ironically about the same time we’ve been living in a world where Covid-19 was declared a pandemic and borders started to close). I appreciate the rare cool things 2020 throws our way, thank you!

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Lethian Dreams – “A Shadow of Memories”

Each year, I seem to focus on certain genres.  One year, it was instrumental; another year, it was electronic.  This year, I seem to be attracted to the doom genre, which I blame on my exploration of Anathema’s discography earlier this year.  Lethian Dreams is the latest band that I have been enjoying, and their new album “A Shadow of Memories” released on September 25th.

Lethian Dreams is a French band.  I assume their name is related to the mythological Lethe River in Hades that caused forgetfulness of the past in those who drank of it.  It is an appropriate name, considering the sound they employ.  The band consists of Carline Van Roos on vocals, guitar, bass, and keyboards; Matthieu Sachs on guitar and keys; and Pierre Bourguignon on drums.

The band plays a form of doom metal akin to their fellow countrymen Alcest.  This is atmospheric blackgaze with a heavy fog of feelings enshrouding everything.  There are doom and Gothic influences, and the overall sound is ethereal, pensive, and shadowy.  I absolutely love that sort of sound.

After hearing this album, I came away with two opinions, one that is negative and one that is positive.  For the positive, I have to say that the guitars and keys on this album are absolutely beautiful.  The shoegaze-y aura that the band creates never fails to grab my heart, and there are several fantastic solos.  The keys, too, have a wonderful, reserved texture that I really like.  They create a sort of early morning mist that obscures everything in a haze of melody and feeling.

For the negative (and this is sort of a positive), I wish that the band would mix Carline’s vocals more prominently into the music.  It is often difficult to hear her, and she has a great voice.  I found myself enjoying the record less because I couldn’t hear the lyrics very well.  There are a few moments where she can be heard loud and clear; but, for the most part, she is hidden.  Maybe that is the band’s purpose, as I will admit it adds to the overall ethereal effect.

All of the songs here are great.  I don’t think any of them are filler or missing something.  My favorites are probably the 11 minute “Tidal”, which has a great song structure and some of the best guitar on the album; and also “Mist of Memories”, a song which fully utilizes the dim atmosphere to greatest effect.  I also really like “Your Silence” and “And Hollow”, the last two on the album.  The former has a vibrancy that makes it stand out, and the latter is even more spacious and emotional than the rest of the tracklist.  It often feels like a lullaby, and it climaxes and fades away stunningly.  I love the haunting final vocal melody, especially.

Lethian Dreams have so much potential.  They have a strong ability to create lingering soundscapes that will draw you in with daring and emotion.  They come across as evocative, profound, and soothing to the soul.  I think this album will continue to grow on me, and I hope Alcest fans especially will give it a try.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Chamberlain's 20th Maine Saves the Union at Little Round Top

The legendary advance of the 20th Maine Regiment

The most decisive battle of the Civil War, the Battle of Gettysburg, was fought between July 1-3 in and around the small Pennsylvania town. It was an epic and deadly clash that pitted the Union Army of the Potomac, and its newly appointed commander, Major Genera George G. Meade, against the Army of Northern Virginia, and its legendary commander, General Robert E. Lee.

Gettysburg in History

The Battle of Gettysburg would be the most strategic struggle of the Civil War (April 12, 1861-May 9, 1865) and the most bloody. Going into the clash, Gen. Lee's army numbered approximately 71,000-75,000 soldiers. Meade's army outnumbered the rebels, with a force of 104,256. By the battle's end, though, Gen. Lee would suffer loses between 23,000-28,000, while Union forces would sustain 23,048 casualties.

'Gettysburg was not a battlefield that either Gen. Lee or MG. Meade had picked to hold their fight.'
This second invasion of the North by Gen. Lee would prove to be his last and the high-water mark for the Confederacy. Before Gettysburg, the contest between North and South was one hallmarked by frequent Southern victories and advances. Afterward, the South would never again be in striking range of subduing the Union Army.

The Army of Northern Virginia began its invasion of the North on June 3, 1863. Gen. Lee's objective for the invasion was to advance across the Potomac River, which separated Union Forces from Washington, DC. He hoped that by effectively striking Washington, he could compel President Abraham Lincoln to sue for peace terms from the Southern Confederacy. All that stood between Gen. Lee and the realization of his mission was the Army of the Potomac, which he had beaten regularly for two years at that point, and MG Meade, who was just one of a succession of generals that had been promoted to that post only to be dismissed.

In fact, Meade's predecessor, MG Joseph Hooker was marching north with Union Forces when, during a brief respite in Frederick, Maryland, he was informed that he was relieved of command of Northern forces, in favor of MG Meade.
MG Meade's task was not a simple one: He faced Gen. Lee's forces, including those of Confederate corps commanders Lieutenant-General James "Pete" Longstreet and LTG Ambrose P. "AP" Hill, which were moving along the Chambersburg Road in southern Pennsylvania, while LTG Richard S. Ewell was leading his corps west from York. One piece of luck MG Meade did enjoy was that the eyes of the Southern force, specifically MG J.E.B. Stuart's cavalry, was performing a screening mission against the Union's forces and did not report back to Gen. Lee's headquarters until after the two forces had clashed for the first two days of the battle.
Col. (later MG) Joshua L. Chamberlain

Gettysburg was not a battlefield that either Gen. Lee or MG Meade had picked to hold their fight. Like many things in war, it happened as an accident.

Unexpected by either force, Union Cavalry Division Commander Brigadier General John Buford encountered elements of the Confederate division commanded by MG Henry "Harry" Heth, which belonged to LTG Hill's corps) on the Chambersburg Pike. LTG Hill, under orders from Gen. Lee, reinforced Heth's position while BG Buford was reinforced by the Union division commanded by MG John Reynolds, who was killed in action that first day.

Both Gen. Lee and MG Meade were caught entirely off guard by the actions that were fast taking place at Gettysburg and both them, their staffs and their commanders worked quickly to acclimate themselves to the situation.

From the very beginning of the fight, the matter of which army was going to hold the heights surrounding Gettysburg was they key issue involved in the battle. Big Round Top is the commanding position on the battlefield, with Little Round Top being adjacent to the taller hill. While the approach to Big Round Top was highly defensible, the approach to Little Round Top was not so, and was thereby able to be exploited by an attacking enemy.

Col. Strong Vincent's 3rd Brigade

By the end of the first day, it was simply the fortunes of war that it was the undersized 3rd Brigade, 1st Division of the Army of the Potomac, commanded by Col. Strong Vincent, that held a tenuous grip on the vital piece of real-estate that was Little Round Top. With the first terrible day of fighting coming to a close, it was the Union that ended up commanding the heights of the battlefield.
Col. Vincent's command was comprised of the 16th Michigan Regiment, the 12th and 44th New York regiments, the 83rd Pennsylvania Volunteer Infantry Regiment, a company of Michigan sharpshooters and the 20th Maine Volunteer Infantry Regiment.
This graphic depicts the grading of Little Round Top at the time of the Battle of Gettysburg

The commanding general of the Army of the Potomac was not the only new commander at Gettysburg for the Union side. In fact, the commander of the 20th Maine was also brand new at the job. Col. Joshua L. Chamberlain had joined the regiment in August, 1862, when it was mustered into Federal service after Lincoln's second call for units. Before being given a commission in the 20th Maine, he served as a professor at Bowdoin College, in Maine, where he taught rhetoric and languages. Now, less than a year after his military career had begun, Col. Chamberlain was promoted when the regiment's founding commander, Col. Adelbert Ames, was promoted away from the command.

The defense of Little Round Top include hand-to-hand fighting

Throughout the Civil War, the 20th Maine's enrollment numbered 1,621 men (including original muster soldiers, replacements and drafts). But, as the men of the 20th moved into their position atop Little Round Top, Col. Chamberlain's command numbered approximately 360 men. The regiment's numbers had dwindled considerably during their engagements since Fredericksburg, which was the 20th's first taste of battle.

Confederate Col. William Oates

Chamberlain's 20th Maine Cannot Break

In positioning his brigade for the inevitable onslaught of Rebels to come, Col. Vincent chose a line of defense that began on the western slope of the hill. When the first regiments of his brigade arrived at the rocky outcropping of the area, Col. Vincent put them in a line. The 16th Michigan Volunteer Infantry Regiment took up position on the right flank, and the 44th New York and 83rd Pennsylvania regiments held the center. Meanwhile, it was the responsibility of the 20th Maine Regiment to hold the left flank of the brigade, which also happened to be the extreme left flank of the entire Union force that had taken up defensive positions along Big and Little Round Top.

The last thing Col. Vincent told Col. Chamberlain was: "This is the left of the Union line. You are to hold this ground at all costs!"

Col. Chamberlain ordered Company B, recruited from Piscataquis County and commanded by Captain Walter G. Morril, forward to the regiment's left flank as skirmishers. However, soon after the fighting began, Company B would be cut-off by a flanking attack by the enemy, leaving the 20th Maine only 314 armed men on the main regimental line.

Each man in his regiment had about 60 shots for their rifles. They had water. The afternoon temperature was about 72 degrees and, despite some cloud cover, rain had not fallen. There was some thunder echoing along the battlefield, but as a local clergyman, the Rev. Dr. Davis Jacobs wrote later, "The thunder seemed tame after the artillery firing of the afternoon."
Depicts the 15th Alabama preparing for action

So, Col. Chamberlain waited, along with his brother, 2nd Lt. Thomas Chamberlain, who was also an officer in the regiment. In that pregnant pause, the men from Maine readied their cartridges and powder, put together what defenses they could. Then, the battle they were awaiting found them.

The first wave of Confederate infantry that attacked was comprised of 824 men from the 4th and 5th Texas regiments, which were a part of MG John Bell Hood's division. They hammered the slope of Little Round Top, pushing toward the center and right of Col. Vincent's brigade. As the Confederates attacked, their infantry began migrating toward the left flank of the Union position. Col. Chamberlain was informed of the enemy movements by Company K's commander, Capt. James H. Nichols.

Col. Chamberlain read the enemy intent and believed they were searching for the extreme left flank of the brigade position. So, the 20th Maine's commander ordered a right-angle formation, extending his line farther to the east.
At this point, though, the 4th and 5th Texas were making their case to breaking the center of the brigade formation. But, Col. Vincent rallied his soldiers, and was reinforced by the 140th New York Zouaves Regiment. Col. Vincent's efforts, along with those of 140th commander, Col. Patrick O'Rourke worked. Sadly, though, both men died during the Confederate assault.

After testing the Union center and not being able to break them, the Confederate infantry formed again and, this time, made its move against the 20th Maine with fresh troops.
The classic depiction of the charge at Little Round Top

The 15th and 47th Alabama regiments began their ascent of Little Round Top, straight into the 20th Maine's position. The 15th was a hard-fighting unit commanded by Col. William C. Oates. Meanwhile, the 47th Regiment was commanded by the battle-tested LTC Michael Bulger, who would become a captive of the 20th Maine by the end of the action. The mission of the attack was simple: Find the Union left and destroy the Federal unit there. Once accomplished, the Rebels would roll up the line of Union positions along the heights, securing victory for MG Hood and the Confederate cause.
Col. Strong Vincent was killed during the battle

Col. Chamberlain's regiment would end up fighting off Confederate forces for about an hour-and-a-half of non-stop battle. During the action, heroes were revealed, one of them being Color Sgt. Andrew J. Tozier of the 20th Maine. As the 20th Maine's position was on the verge of breaking against the weight of the Alabama infantry, Sgt. Tozier stood firm, remaining upright as bullets buzzed and snapped in the air around him. Had Sgt. Tozier fled, so too would the soldiers defending the position. Had Sgt. Tozier not stood firm at that decisive moment, it was likely that the 20th Maine would not have held.
Instead, fighting became savage, as combat went from rifles and pistols to hand-to-hand. Still, the iron men of Maine would not break and fended off the furious attack of the Alabamians.

Though the 20th Maine had stood its ground, the depleted force was left almost without ammunition. There are varying accounts of what happened next. According to the rendition of the story offered by Col. Chamberlain, knowing he could not defend his regimental position with rifle fire, he sent word to Captain Ellis Spear, the acting battalion commander of the unit's left flank, to fix bayonets and charge into the next wave of Confederate attackers.

However, Captain Spear later said he received no such orders.
2LT Thomas Chamberlain also fought with the 20th

'Col. Chamberlain died on Feb. 24, 1914 and is considered by some as the last casualty of the Civil War.'

The other account of what happened came from Corporal Elisha Coan, who was a member of the 20th Maine's Color Guard. He claimed that the acting commander of Company F, 1st Lt. Holman S. Melcher, conceived of the idea for the colors to advance and there to be a bayonet charge. Cpl. Coan's account said that Col. Chamberlain initially balked at the idea, but that other officers joined 1st Lt. Melcher in urging him to order the command, which he did.

In Col. Chamberlain's account of the battle, he said that he ordered a right-wheel maneuver and screamed "Bayonet!" There is some speculation that 1st Lt. Melcher sought for the colors to advance to retrieve the wounded. However, with all of the noise that was going on, coupled with the fact that they could not stave off another Rebel onslaught, a bayonet charge was likely the only think left for the 20th Maine to do, short of abandoning their position to the Rebels.

A Maine state commission would later conclude that 1st Lt. Melcher might have conceived of the idea of the bayonet attack to recover ground where the wounded were, but Col. Chamberlain expounded on that idea to run the Confederate infantry down the face of Little Round Top, winning the day.

It was that bayonet attack that finally broke the Confederate lines. The Rebel brigade attacking the Union lines atop Little Round Top belonged to BG Evander M. Law. His brigade, by the end of the action, though, was no longer able to go on with the fight.

After the Fight

So ended the most fabled episode of the 20th Maine Regiment of Volunteer Infantry. Though the fighting for them in the Civil War was far from over, it was the bravery of the officers and men of the Maine regiment that turned the tide of the war on that hill along the heights outside of small Gettysburg.
20th Maine veterans at a regimental reunion at Little Round Top

For the actions at Little Round Top, Sgt. Tozier would receive the Congressional Medal of Honor, along with Col. Chamberlain. Captain Spear would rise to the rank of major before being mustered out at the end of the war, and Col. Chamberlain's brother, Thomas, would rise to the rank lieutenant colonel.

Col. Chamberlain would survive the war and go back to his native man to eventually become the president of Bodwoin College and, later, the 32nd governor of Maine during four, one-year terms. Yet, he did not survive the war unscathed. Rather, in 1864, Col. Chamberlain (who rose to the rank of major general during the war) was wounded terribly in his leg. Though he was able to keep his leg, it became the source of great pain and discomfort for the rest of his life. In fact, it was because of complications from this wound that Col. Chamberlain died on Feb. 24, 1914 and is considered by some as "...the last casualty of the Civil War."

Meanwhile, the commander of the Confederate 15th Alabama would also survive the war. He became a brigadier general in the Confederate Army before its surrender. After the war, he was elected to the Alabama House of Representatives from 1870-1872, the U.S. House of Representatives from 1881-1894, and as the 29th governor of the state of Alabama, from 1894-1896.

Though the war was eventually won by the North, in 1865 with the surrender of Gen. Lee, it might be said that it could only have ended in the favor of the North thanks to the last full measure given for their country and their commander by the 20th Maine Regiment.

  1. A wonderful history of many brave men of the 20th. I would only add the wounds suffered by Chamberlain at little round top by being shot in the belt buckle which temporarily stunned him and rallied his troops by his return. Later he would be wounded 5 times and still return to service. His hip wound was so bad that he was thought not to survive. But, he did and was a source of great pride to the Union Soldiers. Because he helped so much with morale and dignity, he was chosen to be at Appomattox. Where he honored the surrendering Confederates with a Regimental Salute as they passed his unit. No small thing in bringing reconciliation to the 2 enemy forces. Softening the blow to the Confederates. Thanks again for a wonderful article.

  2. The grounds of this battlefield forever stained with unseen blood, now hides the horror that such brave men saw and faced and endured as they wrestled with life and death; giving all they had for the cause they believed in; immortalized now by their heroic deeds and unrelenting bravery.

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A New Way of Practicing

Does this happen to you? You go to the range and get loose. You hit a few balls and they’re perfect. Or you go to the practice green and the first few chips you hit end up right next to the hole, or the first few putts go right in.

And after that, you can’t do a thing right. You hit ball after ball, trying to get back the magic you had at the start, and you never quite get there. Well, maybe you shouldn’t try.

James Sieckmann has a new book out, titled, Your Short Game Solution. In addition to invaluable short game advice, Sieckmann spends a little time talking about the difference between block practice, which you do a lot of, and random practice, which you probably don’t do at all.

Block practice is hitting the same shot over and over again. Random practice is where you have a shot for the first time, and you hit it. Then you pick a different shot and hit that one.

Sieckmann suggest that you spend a only few minutes in block practice, then the rest of the time in random practice – hitting different shots to different targets with different clubs. The reason is that you train your brain much better that way.

He refers to an article in the blog, The Bulletproof Musician, that says our brain is wired to respond to change. It gets dulled by repetition.

What about practicing to perfection? Again, that’s not how our brain works. It was designed to improvise, not do the same thing over and over again, according to the work of Stanford engineer Dr. Krishna Shenoy.

Sure, you do have to practice a golf technique (the RIGHT technique) enough to have learned how to do it. That means a lot of repetitions. But you don’t pile up those repetitions. You do them over time, along with other techniques you’re learning.

Along the way you spend lots of time giving yourself problems to solve with each technique, even as you’re learning it.

So here’s what I would recommend. It’s how a practice session goes for me.

I get a small bucket of balls, 33. I’ll warm up with dry swings (no ball), then hit a few 9-irons, a few 7-irons, a few 5-irons, a few hybrids, and a few drivers. Back to the 7 or 5 and hit few fades and a few draws. I’ve hit about half the bucket.

This part is just to remind me how my swing works, to keep the feelings fresh.

Then I take out my wedges and hit to random distances. I’ll play with trajectory next. When maybe three or four balls are left, I’ll go back to the long clubs and hit a driver and a few irons. Done.

At the practice green, I’ll drop four balls and chip them to different holes. Or, I’ll pick one hole and chip to it from four balls different places around the green. This goes on, hitting different shots all the time, until I’ve gotten all four balls up and down twice in a row.

Finally, putting. Eight three-footers in a circle drill to a cup that is on slanted ground. Then a dozen or so 20-footers to different holes and from different directions — never hitting the same putt twice. Four balls to the same hole on the same line from 35, 15, 45, and 25 feet (in that order) until all of them go down in two. End with five straight-in two-foot putts, to go home with success in mind.

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London protest confirms media unashamedly corrupt

If you’re an indoctrinated schoolkid suffering from a bad case of Greta Thunberg style narcissism, and organising a climate change demonstration, John Campbell at TV One and other media luminaries will grovel at your feet and give you maximum screen time.

If you can hold that demonstration, and a few hundred people turn up, media will take the best angles they can to make it seem as if far more people attended. They’ll refer to the hundreds as thousands, and you’ll get five slavering minutes guaranteed on the six o clock news.

An example of the media’s partisan approach was the way not one outlet reported on the failure of the recent schoolkid’s “strike” protest, that only attracted a few thousand compared to the 150,000 it was said attended the last protest. Instead it was beaten into a major event with similarly massive support. Their reporting was just a lie. Propaganda.

This same pattern of deception will occur with any protest that has Marxist underpinnings. Black Lives Matter. Domestic violence. Extinction Rebellion. Womens’ rights. The media will give it undue coverage and exaggerate its support. Because they’re not news agencies, but lying sneaking sly and cowardly Marxist propagandists. The enemies of the people.

Their failure to report of the London anti-lockdown protests at the weekend makes it impossible for media to deny the above accusations.

Why was there virtually* no coverage of a protest that attracted maybe a million people?

Simple- the march and the substance of the protest does not offer the media any chance to push Marxism. In fact, reporting on it would be anti-Marxist, and perhaps disturb the big brother narrative they have built around the covid crisis. Where they have trumpeted the need for big govt, “caring” politicians and oppressive uncivil regulation.

Are you discontent with the direction our societies are taking today? Wake up to the real enemy. It is the politically corrupt media who are the foot soldiers for even more corrupt academia (who trained them) and their secretly far left politician comrades.

Media’s failure to report the London anti-lockdown march is proof positive of what poison they are to our societies. We simply must send them broke, reduce their enterprises to dust, if we are to stop our western pluralist democracies from being converted into one party Marxist states.

*One must say virtually as in the few cases where the march was reported, the protesters were spoken of with scorn and derision and labelled as Qanon supporters or anti-Vaxers.


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Watch: Another Black Dem Announces Support for Trump

For decades now, the black vote has been something thought to be solely held by the Democratic Party. In fact, since the 1930s, with the election of Franklin Roosevelt and his New Deal, nearly 70% of America’s black voters have continuously voted Democratic. However, that is all beginning to change.

And according to Leo Terrell, it’s all the Democratic Party’s fault.

Terrell is a well-known civil rights attorney who has frequently offered his advice and opinion of the political environment in our nation. And usually, that opinion is heavily rooted within Democratic ideas. In fact, the man has come out strongly against both President Trump and the Republican Party on more than one occasion.

But last week, he made a somewhat surprising, if not wholly shocking announcement: He is going to vote Republican for the first time in his life in November.

The announcement was made during a recent appearance on Fox News’s “Hannity,” of which he is a frequent guest. He said, “This will be the first time in my life, Sean Hannity viewers, that I will be voting Republican.” Later during the segment, Terrell said, “If you didn’t hear it, I’m voting for Trump.”

Both Larry Elder, who is a conservative radio host that often appears on “Hannity” with Terrell, and Hannity himself tried to claim credit for the switch, saying that “if we can convert Leo, we can convert anybody. If we can get Leo, we can get anybody.”

However, Terrell says that the two hosts had very little to do with his recent change in opinion and party.

Instead, he puts that blame solely on the Democratic Party itself. As he later explained via his Twitter account, “Leo 2.0? #Hannitized? No way. I’m the same Leo but the #Democratic Party left me & I did not sign up for their socialist agenda.”

And Leo, 2.0 or otherwise, isn’t the first black American to say think this.

Black Georgia Democrat state Representative Vernon Jones also made waves earlier this year when he announced his support for the Republican president. And he, like Terrell, claims that the party they once agreed with is now far too radical for them to continue to embrace. Terrell has even described the party as being “hijacked by the extremists.”

And it would be hard to argue otherwise.

Even with a supposedly moderate Democrat like Joe Biden being the pick for president, it’s clear the party has moved extremely far towards the left in the last few years. The calls for police departments far and wide to be defunded and disbanded, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the extremism that seems to be taking over the nation is proof enough of that.

But it’s also proving to be the downfall of the ever leftward moving party.

As I mentioned before, black Americans slowly become Democrats in the 1930s when they had a Democratic president that proved to be for them and their communities. And with nearly every Democratic president that followed, Harry, Truman, JFK, and LBJ, blacks were given more civil rights and equal treatment. By the time Johnson was elected president in 1964, nearly 82% of black Americans considered themselves Democrats.

Since then, that percentage has changed very little. Evidence of this was seen in 2016 when only 8 percent of blacks voted Republican and as such for President Donald Trump. In fact, it has become such of the norm that it has nearly been taken for granted by the Democratic Party, as can be seen in Biden’s “you ain’t black” statement made about blacks who didn’t know if they would vote for him.

However, as Kanye West explained, times are changing, and “to say that the black vote is Democratic is a form of racism.”

Men and women like Terrell and Jones are proof of that, as are the over 34 percent of black voters who polled that they were in support of President Trump earlier in the year. Now, we do have to note that these polls were taken before the civil unrest and BLM movements that are taking place right now.

However, as Terrell has proved, BLM may not be helping the Democrats cause much. And as American Thinker Editor Thomas Lifson says, “If only half of that 34% of blacks vote for Trump, it will devastate the Democrats.”

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In all the business and personal flying jaunts I’ve been on, I’ve never received an upgrade to first class passenger status.  I have, however, been upgraded to more leg room status once.  It was pretty nice.  And I was close enough to the front of the plane that I used the first class restrooms—even though I wasn’t supposed to.  Fuck ‘em.  If the plane goes down, so do us all, so I’ll use whatever restroom I please, thank you very much.

When someone tells you about the first class upgrade, you can’t help but be happy about it.  All kinds of joking around follows: “Oooh, look at you being all special!”  “Did you flash your boobs to get that seat?”  “Must be nice, my friend; must be nice.”  And then they dish, of course, about life beyond the aisle curtain.

You get served first.  You get real food in most cases (and pretzels).  Drinks.  You even get your own bathroom (when gadflies like me aren’t barging in).  Leg room.  Butt room.  Pillowy headrests.  And you even get a blanket and a pillow at no charge.  Headphones, too.   Niiiiice.   The upgrade will not protect you from mechanical failure or some other tragedy on the plane, but as long as things go well why not fly with some perks?

I may have never received a first-class upgrade, but I have received an upgrade from Stage II breast cancer to Stage IV.  It was wholly unexpected.  I was just sitting waiting to board my flight to Stage II Tamoxifen and here I got an upgrade!

Among the privileges I can expect with this upgrade to Club de Cancer are visits to the Oncology Suite, more trips to the pharmacy to take more drugs, radiation, and chemotherapy at some point down the road.  In addition there is surgery (maybe) and visits to specialists forever.  Discomfort.  Malaise.  Uncertainty.  Fear.  Anxiety.  Anger. And no cure.

Clearly, not all upgrades are equal.

This entry was posted in My Stage IV Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Upgrades

  1. And they don’t even give you extra pretzels at the oncology clinic. Rip. Off.

  2. troutledge says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. Hope you’re doing as well as you can be? Upgrades are incredibly overrated x

  3. Jen says:

    This upgrade totally sucks!

  4. I found this post very moving. I hope it helped you feel a bit better.

  5. Upgrade my ass. I’d demand your money back.

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My NetGalley Haul

I knew it couldn’t last! 😂

I enjoyed the 3rd and 4th books in this series so much that I asked the publisher if I could review the first two and they said yes!!!  😀

Kindle Books

A pre-order and a freebie from last week

Library Haul

Well it would’ve been rude to not get any more books out when I returned two to the library 😀

What Have You Been Adding to your shelves this week?


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Monday, May 23, 2011

Week #62 - "Monochromatic' WINNERS!

BIG shabby thank you to everyone for being so supportive of this wonderful, fun, shabby little challenge blog!!! Another beautiful week here in the Tea Room for our 'Monochromatic' challenge -- 141 LOVELY cards and projects this week - WOW - and the Shabby Girls enjoyed peeking at each and every single one of them!! We also would like to recognize and thank our 1,335 FABULOUS FOLLOWERS for peeking and joining in on the weekly challenges! We {heart} you all in the Tea Room so very much!!!

Don't forget ... if you're sporting either a Shabby Tea Room blinkie, Tea Time Terrific Top Three badge, Winner badge or Guest Designer badge, contact me via e-mail to be added to the Shabby Girlfriends page!

NEW FEATURE ... Top 10 Members {on our sidebar}!  Click to sign in and have each of your visits to the Tea Room registered ... you just may find yourself spotlighted as one of the Top 10 Featured Favorites in the Tea Room :)  It's so fun to see visiting numbers rising!

Please join me in thanking Tammy Roberts for joining us in the Tea Room last week as our Guest Designer and thank you also to Michelle Bala for joining us as our May Month-Long Special Guest Designer!

A very special thank you to our sponsor last week, The Beary Scrap Paper Crafting Boutique, for sponsoring the Tea Room challenge last week by providing an awesome gift certificate for our lucky winner!

A QUICK REMINDER ... the Shabby Girls {heart} visiting your wonderful blogs filled with such inspiration, but with the increasing popularity of the Tea Room challenges, it is becoming more time consuming to get around to each and every applicant's submission in order to leave comments. Please consider turning WORD VERIFICATION OFF and leaving COMMENT MODERATION ON. Word Verification will NOT protect you from spam comments, and if you have Word Verification turned on, we may not be able to leave a comment on your blog.

The Shabby Girls thank you ALL for sharing your special paper crafting talents with us here in the Tea Room! The talent and inspiration was so GORGEOUS this week! And now, without further ado, here are the creations that caught my eye this week for capturing the essence of the 'Monochromatic' challenge:

1.   Chris Olsen #23

2.   Evgenia Petzer #50

3.   Sazzlecraft #61

4.   Simply Shaz #62

5.   Dalia #65
6.   Linda L. #78

7.  Kirsten #98

8.  Nancy Jensen #110

9.   Lynn Put #125

10.  Fran #139

1.   Andrea Ewen #5

2.   Sherry Wright #9
3.    Zvezdo4ka #52

Kylie #112!  Oh my holly jolly goodness ... this holiday creation is simply gorgeous!  What a sweet Tilda image -- love that damask paper pieced dress and all the bling!  The coloring is magnaficent and just the right tough of shabbyness to add a time-worn look!  Thank you, Kylie, for sharing this sweet card with us all this week :)

Congratulations to ALL! Tea Time Terrific Top Three and Winner, please grab your badges from our sidebar that you can proudly display on your blogs! Winner, please contact me via e-mail to claim your prize!

Please be sure to review the rules on our sidebar in order to be considered for the weekly top honors and prizes!

Anonymous said...

Congrats Kylie and the top three and honorable mentions!!!! Fantastic cards!!!

Kylie said...

Oh my goodness - I think I just stopped breathing for a second! What a surprise and honour to win at The Shabby Tea Room! Thank you so much. And congratulations to everyone in the top 3 and honourable mentions, well done everyone :) Stunning creations!
Big hugs
Kylie x

Tanya Privalova said...

I`m so happy!!!!thank you very much!!! :)))))))))))))

dalijablog said...

thanks for picking me to be one of HONORABLE MENTION CUPS OF TEA ;)

Ruby said...

Well done to everyone, but especially my teamie Andrea Ewen, beautiful card!

Lynn Put said...

Oh my goodness, how did I miss this! Thank you so much for highlighting my card as a honorable mention!


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The Bright Side of the Sterling Controversy? The Resurrection and Acquittal of Elgin Baylor

With the Donald Sterling circus growing exponentially in scope and absurdity over the last few days thanks to the Los Angeles Clippers owner’s acidic comments about Lakers legend Magic Johnson in his recent interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, this situation promises to hold a special place of prominence in the national dialogue in the weeks and months ahead.

The Sterling debacle and specter of his ownership will undoubtedly hover around the remainder of these fantastic playoffs, the upcoming coronation of Jabari Parker, Joel Embiid and Andrew Wiggins at June’s draft and the various NBA summer leagues.

No matter how thrilling and beautiful this year’s Finals performances by Tony Parker, Russell Westbrook, Blake Griffin, Kevin Durant, Chris Paul or LeBron might be, Sterling’s shadow will be like Chewbacca’s legs on Dorothy Dandridge, a hideous eyesore to an otherwise stunning display.

Sterling seems utterly inebriated at the sound of his own voice, despite the fact that his words have powered an irreversible vortex of self-destruction.

And yet, slowly rising back to the surface from the muck of his racist diatribes and personal attacks is a name that many people dismissed some time ago, the beleaguered former General Manager of the franchise, Elgin Baylor.

Not sure if many people were paying attention a few years back, but if they were, they’d have noticed that every time Kobe Bryant binged on buckets and etched his name into the Lakers record books, his accomplishments were always prefaced by, “…The previous mark was held by Elgin Baylor.”

Until he entered the NBA in 1958, the terms ‘Levitation’ and ‘Hang-Time’ were not in the lexicon of pro basketball. Baylor was the league’s first true aerial artist, capable of defying gravity while waiting for the shot that he wanted. He was the precursor to Dr. J and Air Jordan.

Muscular and strong, yet sleek and smooth, Baylor brought the astounding force of athleticism to the personality of the professional product. He made the spectacular look routine and was impervious to any defense designed to stop him. He singlehandedly brought the essence of the game’s unexplored vertical chamber to what was previously a below-the-rim game.

Without exaggeration, Elgin Baylor was at least a quarter-century ahead of his time. Had he come along in the 1980s, at the merge of the ESPN and sports marketing revolutions, we would have been sporting Air Elgins, eating Elgin Flakes for breakfast, buying cars, underwear, sports drinks and fast food burgers because he went on television and told us to.

But Baylor came of age in a different era, when he couldn’t actually play at certain places because of the searing grips of segregation in his hometown of Washington, DC. But he honed his futuristic, George Jetson-game on the asphalt of the nation’s capitol with the city’s other talented black athletes that were denied access to some parks and facilities because of the color of their skin.

He dropped out of Phelps Vocational HS to work in a furniture store before returning to Spingarn High School, one of the city’s five black schools. Baylor was the first African-American named to the area’s All-Metro team, a glaring indictment on the racist sensibilities that ignored all of those that came before him.

And yet, because of the country’s ignorant leanings and Baylor’s supposed academic deficiencies, no college basketball powers offered him a scholarship. He eventually found his way to the College of Idaho to play football. But he never wore another pair of cleats after the school’s hoops coach saw him toying with people during pick-up games in the gym.

After one year in Idaho, he transferred to Seattle University. The national buzz started generating after he scored 40 points in his first game there. It escalated when he went on to average 30 points and 20 rebounds a game during the 1956-1957 season. Prior to his arrival, the program was as inconsequential as Rockwell after he dropped  "Somebody's Watching Me".

During his stay in Seattle, they shot up the charts like the Jackson 5 at Motown.

At the conclusion of the ‘57-’58 season, Seattle University was playing in the NCAA championship game. Despite losing to the University of Kentucky, Baylor was named the tournament’s Most Outstanding Player, although he'd been playing with broken ribs.

Magic, Kobe, Wilt, Jerry West and Kareem might be the first that come to mind when you think about the legendary names in the Los Angeles Lakers pantheon. But most people fail to recognize that had it not been for Elgin Baylor, the franchise might not even exist today in its current incarnation.

Baylor singlehandedly saved the struggling franchise when it was located in Minneapolis. Without the revenue that he generated, the Lakers could have never made the George and Weezie Jefferson move on up to that deluxe apartment in the Hollywood sky.

“I would have been out of business,” then-Laker owner Bob Short told the L.A. Times in 1971. “The club would have gone bankrupt.”

The year prior to his arrival, the Lakers finished with a record of 19-53, a far cry from the glory days of its first franchise cornerstone, George Mikan.

As a rookie in 1958-1959, Baylor averaged 25 points and 15 rebounds per game. Before Spike Lee crowned the term “Double-Nickel”, he scored 55 in a game during his first NBA season. The Lakers made a surprising run to the Finals that year, losing to the Boston Celtics. It was the start of what became the greatest rivalry in professional sports.

In November of 1960, he scored 71 points and snatched 25 rebounds in a single game against the New York Knicks. In December of 1961, he gave Wilt Chamberlain and the Philadelphia Warriors 63 points and 31 rebounds in a game. 63 and 31!!!

In game 5 of the 1961-1962 NBA Finals, Baylor scored 61 points and ripped down 22 rebounds against the Celtics’ phenomenal duo of Satch Sanders and Bill Rusell, two of the games’ greatest defenders ever.  No player has since eclipsed that record of points scored in a Finals game.

Only one player in NBA history has scored more in a playoff game. That was Air Jordan’s amazing performance against the Celtics in 1986, when Larry Bird referred to him as, “God disguised as Michael Jordan." It is the only feat that has surpassed Elgin Baylor’s – but MJ needed every bit of those two overtimes to get his 63 points.

His former teammate Tommy Hawkins once told the San Francisco Examiner, “Pound for pound, no one was ever as great as Elgin Baylor. Elgin certainly didn't jump as high as Michael Jordan. But he had the greatest variety of shots of anyone. He would take it in and hang and shoot from all these angles. Put spin on the ball. Elgin had incredible strength. He could post up Bill Russell. He could pass like Magic and dribble with the best guards in the league.”

With the franchise’s relocation to Los Angeles,  Baylor was also solely responsible for the NBA’s growth and acceptance outside of its East Coast origins.

His greatness gets lost in the sauce because he played before the media explosion. Despite taking the Lakers to the Finals eight times, he never won an NBA title and had his best years when Wilt Chamberlain, Oscar Robertson and Bill Russell also had theirs.

When the Clippers were the laughingstock of the league, Baylor was the face of the franchise as its General Manager. People cast aside his assertions that he was hamstrung by Donald Sterling’s terrible basketball business acumen.

The running joke was that there were three things in life that were certain: death, taxes and Elgin Baylor representing the Clippers at the NBA’s Draft Lottery.

But he let us know, long ago, that the racism spewing from the owner’s suite was severe and toxic, before most people seemed to give it any credence.

When Baylor sued Sterling for wrongful termination on the grounds of age and race discrimination, a suit that was eventually unsuccessful, many saw it as the act of an inept and desperate man trying to hold on to his job, in a game that had passed him by.

Today, we see, with a little more clarity, who the inept and desperate man really is, as Sterling currently tries to hold onto his team, in a league and society that passed his plantation-mentality by long ago.

But step aside from the shipwreck for a moment and remember to keep in mind, next year, when Kobe comes back to break another Lakers record, that it was Elgin Baylor’s skills and impact that sketched today’s NBA blueprint.

And we must thank him as well for being the first person to announce to the world, years ago, that Donald Sterling was an idiot.


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hearingIn the parables – like this morning’s “sower and the seed” (MK 4: 1-20) – Jesus often uses the dictum, “Whoever has ears ought to hear.” If it doesn’t just roll by our ears as a fitting wrap-up to the story, we might notice that Jesus is going for something deeper than physical hearing. Everyone who is not deaf has “ears to hear” but not all of us take the trouble to really listen. And actually even deaf people have physical ears so they are included too in what Jesus is saying. Later in the text this morning, Jesus reiterates and clarifies, using two of our senses this time. They may look and see but not perceive, and hear but not understand, he says. He’s talking about the kingdom of God, of course, which he says is a mystery that only makes sense to those who go beyond the senses to understand it. So how do we do that? Practice, practice, practice. Staying awake on a deeper level, letting go of the automatic pilot that we take for consciousness that is our normal way of functioning. (How often do you enter a room and say, “What was I coming in here for?”) Noticing subtleties in conversation, like shifts in tone, or really tasting what you are eating – being aware of the process of chewing and swallowing. Noting as well feelings that arise for no reason or interesting words in what you read, stopping to let them sink into you. Waking up in these ways presupposes allowing some quiet in our lives, so silence is a longer step to take toward that goal of perception and understanding of the reign of God which is already in our midst. If we are silent we begin to activate our inner senses and just might hear God speaking to us in a language that is inaccessible to our physical ears or eyes. No effort can achieve it but practice can open up a spaciousness in us that leaves us ready for just such a gift, given sometimes when we least expect it!


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Mundir Sidhu, owner and creator of Spice Hut, grew up learning and taking inspiration from her mother in India, about the fine art of blending and grinding spices. Her upbringing illuminated all the possibilities for creating impactful dishes and spices. The past 40 years have been dedicated to the flavor perfection of every ingredient, blend, and meals that anyone can enjoy. A proudly certified minority-owned business, Spice Hut opened its doors in Bellingham, WA, in 2004 and has been serving the community with premium quality teas and spices ever since.

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Don't worry, it will be fine. Photo: getty

The edge of the cliff: inside the major NZ media companies in 2018

Today we launch a week-long series taking the temperature of the NZ media at the end of another year of upheaval. Duncan Greive speaks to senior figures across NZ’s biggest media companies to find out what they think about their plight, their rivals and the industry as a whole

When you run a media business, you eventually give up your mind. The process is gradual – a slow and steady stripping away of interests and friendships which you barely notice at first. But after a few years it’s all gone, replaced by an incessant hum of media industry data points which drowns out the space where your personality used to be.

That’s essentially what brought me to this foolhardy idea: to write about all of the biggest media companies in New Zealand over the course of a week. I want to try and tamp down the noise long enough for me to go on holiday, and in my experience the only way to do that is to write about what’s occupying my mind.

To accomplish this I spoke to senior executives at almost all the major New Zealand media organisations and some of the pretenders, asking questions about their own entity and their competitors. I granted all anonymity so as to encourage candour, and allow them to speak as freely as they felt able. I also decided to couch all comment as ‘they/them’ so as to provide an extra layer of impenetrability. All bar one accepted the invitation, and I’m indebted to those who spoke to me for the spirit with which they approached the project.

I did all this not just because I have an unhealthy obsession, but because I believe we’re at a singular, historically unprecedented moment in our media history. That might read trite, and has arguably been true for at least 15 years – but I think there are good reasons to believe that a major round of consolidations or even closures is imminent, one which will see the pent up forces and can-kicking of the Commerce Commission’s denials shake into some sort of new order. Even as I reported these stories, MediaWorks merged with outdoor advertising giant QMS, while Stuff received a first visit from their new Australian owners.

Which means there might never have been a more interesting time to talk about the state of this industry, one which is so visible, so powerful (though that power is manifestly in decline) – yet also so precarious. It’s become a cliche to point to Facebook, Google and TradeMe as the place the revenue which once sustained the media has gone. It’s also undeniably true.

That loss isn’t purely revenue-based – it’s also our time. “Ad-driven media exist to generate attention and then sell that attention,” said one exec. “Selling that attention is just fine. The TV problem is generating attention.” Which is to say that the value they get per viewer is holding up strongly – but they can feel viewers slipping away in clumps.

Another passed me a printout of two graphs labeled ‘Peak PUTS Trend’. Translated that’s the maximum number of people watching television at any given time. It showed a pronounced decline from 2016-2018, with a volatility that suggests linear television may have lost anywhere up to 20% of its audience in that span. Lost to Netflix, to Facebook, to YouTube, to podcasts – to the infinitely splintered world of digital media.

TV – still the glamour, the volume, the big money of this industry – is hardly alone in wrestling with vanishing audiences. Newspapers continue to suffer major circulation declines, and even radio is starting to show cracks. Most frighteningly even the big digital platforms are flat or declining as the effect of Facebook’s algorithm changes bites. So even hope for the future is dwindling. Perhaps that’s why we’re seeing an unprecedented level of cooperation between brands and across mediums.

Decline isn’t the whole story, though. While many have suffered major revenue hits, shuttered once-proud units and become “experts at making people redundant”, as one exec almost-admiringly said of another business, they’re also extraordinarily innovative and fighting like hell. The idea that media or journalism is broken and doomed is one which is often taken as read by journalists and commentators (when they’re not issuing press releases pretending things have never been better), but is belied by the innovation, spirit and boldness of many of these institutions.

Similarly the products have in many ways never been better. TVNZ has poured incredible resource into its OnDemand platform, infuriating its competitors. RNZ’s content sharing strategy has helped the whole industry. NZME has launched smartly conceived new verticals while Stuff is now an energy company and a telco. MediaWorks has a laser focus providing major ratings wins while Sky has a looming suite of products which might finally crack the internet. There are fascinating moves being made at Spark, Bauer and Māori Television too.

Importantly, despite attention being fragmented and revenue decimated, the big New Zealand media companies still own and shape the national conversation, and provide much of our sense of self. Like most of the Western world New Zealand experienced a long period of strong and reliable ad revenues facilitating all kinds of public good material, from sports to local drama to journalism. It’s not a stretch by any means to suggest that if the people currently running our big media businesses fail at their missions then, absent major state intervention, the whole country will be incalculably worse off.

Yet failure is a very real possibility – perhaps even the most likely outcome for some. The stakes are truly existential. Which is why it has been so fascinating and fun to write.

The first in the series, on TVNZ, is available now. Tomorrow: Stuff.

Running order

Monday December 10: TVNZ

Tuesday December 11: Stuff

Wednesday December 12: Sky

Thursday December 13: MediaWorks

Friday December 14: NZME

Saturday December 15: RNZ

Sunday December 16: Spark, Bauer, Māori Television

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Decency, We Barely Knew Thee

I stood watching

As decency took its last breath

I barely recognized it anymore

It had been mangled and beaten

Left to wither in the sun, the last

Trickles of compassion disappeared

Into the dry cracks, soaked unseeing

Within the forgotten layers

See how this ground has grown hard

Unhallowed, when left to its own devices

But there is new growth somewhere

Unnoticed as it struggles to break through

The compressed expanse beneath our feet

Watered, with the fleeting sentiments of love

I felt myself care for a moment, in recognition

And then shuddered at the possibility

Before spitting on the corpse of decency

And with it, erasing yet another path

Between the wreckage and the ruin

  1. River,
    I am very shook by your beautiful and strong poem, it brought tears to my eyes. You probably has seen that I write on the same subjects but have more hope … how else can we cope. And how can we heal?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Superb, River, absolutely superb. I love ‘trickles of compassion disappeared into the dry cracks’. So true, and such a perfectly drawn metaphor for the sad state of humanity today.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Stark yet the weeds grow through even the toughest ground. The task of the weed is actually to heal the earth. Which is why eaten out paddocks and soil drained of nutrition or poisoned will first grow so many weeds. Perhaps these weedy times mean that healing is on the way – but I am always a hopeful fool. Another great poem River.

    Liked by 3 people

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