text:
What is Importance of Guru in our daily life as well as spiritual life?

  • 1
    How can we find authenticate guru ? can be duplicate of How do I find the right Guru?
    – Pandya
    Jun 9 '16 at 14:03
  • My bad luck, sorry I didn't know its already present in our database.. Jun 9 '16 at 16:27
  • 1
    But please guys read my answer at-least once it will really helpful to you, Jun 9 '16 at 16:29

Jay Sriman-Narayan ! Dandvat Pranam ! Here I am going to tell you the importance of Guru in Spiritual life. Guru can't be described in short because his mercy is infinite.It's my request to you Please read once and Patiently, It will help you alot.

Guru (गुरु) Meaning from Here : If we Seperate the letter Gu(गु)= remove darkness and ru(रु)= Bring Brightness.

Guru is a person who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom and authority in a certain area, and uses it to guide others. Literally a preceptor who shows others knowledge (light) and destroys ignorance (darkness). It is also used for teacher or guide in the religious or sense. The guru is seen as a sacred conduit for wisdom and guidance, and finding a satguru (True Guru) is often held to be a prerequisite for attaining self-realization.

Very Well-known Sloka From Vishwasara Tantram of

श्री गुरुस्तोत्रम्:

गुरुर्ब्रह्मा गुरुर्विष्णुर्गुरुर्देवो महेश्वरः ।

गुरुरेव परं ब्रह्म तस्मै श्रीगुरवे नमः ॥१॥

The Guru is Brahma, the Guru is Vishnu, the Guru Deva is Maheswara (Shiva), The Guru is Verily the Para-Brahman (Supreme Brahman); Salutations to that Guru.

Guru is a Tri-dev and he is even Par-Brahman, there are lots of glories described in our Scriptures for Guru, and you can find more sloka of श्री गुरुस्तोत्रम् from Here

How we can find Real and Genuine Guru ?

It is a really important thing to find real Guru (Spiritual Master), who can guide us and help us to reach to the Supreme Truth.

A guru must be a direct representative of Lord who distributes the instructions of Lord without any change.

So, The Real Guru never interrupt Lord Instruction and also never interrupt the Scripture for his own Sense Satisfaction.

Real Guru always instruct to his/her disciple which is described in scriptures. He never instructs by his own speculation and which is not in scriptures.

The Person who interrupts scriptures by his own speculation and if his instructions are also contradicted with the scriptures then he is not a real and genuine guru.

It is a most Important thing to understand to find real and Genuine Guru to make progress in spiritual life.

Otherwise Doha of kabirji is significant here:

गुरु कीजिए जानि के, पानी पीजै छानि ।

बिना विचारे गुरु करे, परे चौरासी खानि॥

We have to choose Guru very carefully and wisely.If we make Guru without thinking,then we have to again take birth throughout the 84 lacs species of life.

It is very dangerous to make guru with-out checking him, whether he is real and authenticate guru.

So, Choose Guru who is authenticated from Sastra/Scripture.

Why we have to make Guru?

It is also important to know that why we have to make Guru.

Everybody thinks that he/she is capable of reaching through the supreme truth without help from Guru.we can find by ourselves, we are thinking it by our ego or ignorance that we can achieve without the help of Guru, but it is impossible as to hold sand in our fist.

In Mundaka Upanisad 1.2.12

tad-vijñānārthaṁ sa gurum evābhigacchet: ||

To learn the truths of spirit, one must approach spiritual master,who also has such teacher. This preceptor must be fixed in the Absolute Truth".

One who wants spiritual knowledge must approach a genuine guru who comes in a lineage of self-realised teachers.

In Srimad-Bhagavatam Chapter 3

tasmād guruṁ prapadyeta jijñāsuḥ śreya uttamam |

śābde pare ca niṣṇātaṁ brahmaṇy upaśamāśrayam ||SB 11.3.21||

one who is very interested in understanding the activities in the spiritual world must search out a guru a bonafide representative of Lord. From all angles of vision, therefore, the word guru is especially meant for the bona fide representative of Lord and no one else.

We will take few Example from our Scripture :

Story of Dhruva Maharaj

from Srimad-Bhagavatam Fourth Canto:

Dhruv was the son of King Uttanpad. The king had two wives: Suruchi and Suniti. Suruchi had a son named Uttam and Suniti had two sons. Dhruv was Suniti's eldest son. Suruchi was the king's favourite queen. Whilst the king loved her and her son Uttam, he ignored Suniti and her son. Once Uttam sat in his father's lap. Dhruv too tried to sit beside his stepbrother. At this Suruchi shouted to him, " You cannot sit there. If you want to sit in the king's lap you shall have to prove your worthiness and undergo serious penance."Dhruv could not bear the insult and he resolved to go to the forest and please Bhagwan Vishnu by praying to Him.

On the way he met Naradji, who tried to stop him. "You are just a small child. The forest is full of dangerous animals. How will you bear the winter's cold and the summer heat. Go back home," he said. Dhruv replied, "O learned sage! Even at the cost of my life and all the rigours of the forest, I will prove myself worthy to sit in the lap of the king, my father, by undergoing great Penance and pleasing God." Penance means to fast, to meditate and to live a very simple life. Naradji was pleased with Dhruv's dedication and fearlessness and he showed him the place and the method to practice penance. Then Dhruv reached a place in the forest called Madhuvan. He stood on one leg and started praying to God. Dhruv was so absorbed in his penance that the difficulties of forest life did not affect him at all. He had only one goal - to please and to meet God. He prayed for more than five months, standing on one leg. One day Bhagwan Vishnu was pleased with his devotion and He appered before Dhruv. "I am pleased with your devotion, my child. Tell me, what do you wish?" Bhagwan Vishnu asked Dhruv.

"O God, I wish your blessings and love from my parents," Dhruv replied.

"All your wishes shall be fulfilled my child." Saying this he vanished.

Dhruv had achieved his goal. He had pleased God and had met him. Now he returned to the kingdom. The king welcomed Dhruv with full honor and respect. Suruchi, too, hugged Dhruv and he became everybody's favorite.

Later, Dhruv was made the king and he served people with love and dedication.

So, we can see here from the help of Naradji, Dhruva could reach to the Supreme truth, with-out help of Guru Naradji, Dhruva could not be success in his path.

We also put 100 % faith towards our Guru like Dhruva Maharaj Did, he put 100% faith on Naradji and he became success in his path.So, If you make authenticate guru and you don't put faith on him then it is also worthless.you can't be reach to the supreme truth.

Story of Valamiki Rishi

from Ramayan Uttara Kanda

During Treta Yug, a time thousands of years ago, a man named Ratnakar lived in the forests along the banks of the holy river Ganga. Ratnakar was a cruel hunter and a fearless thief. Everyone was afraid of Ratnakar! When he walked in the forest, even the birds would fly to their nests, and the animals would look for a place to hide.

One day, Ratnakar was hiding by the side of a forest pathway, waiting for a victim. Along came the great sage Naradji, who was walking peacefully, admiring the beauty of the forest and singing kirtans in praise of God.

Ratnakar jumped out in front of him and demanded, "Hand over all you have or else!"

With love flowing from his eyes, Naradji said smilingly, "My dear man, all that I have are these rags I wear. If you want them, you may take them!" Naradji's fearlessness surprised Ratnakar. As Ratnakar gazed in Naradji's eyes, his cruel mind melted.

Naradji saw this transformation and lovingly explained to Ratnakar how stealing and killing animals was very sinful. He reminded Ratnakar that although his family was eager to share the fruits of his bad actions, they would not share his sins.

Upon this realisation, Ratnakar fell to Naradji's feet and asked for forgiveness. Naradji taught him to recite the sacred name of Ram. Ratnakar sat down in the forest and continued chanting with closed eyes. His concentration was so deep that he remained in meditation for years. In fact, he sat there so long in meditation that an anthill grew all around and above him!

One day Naradji came that way and carefully cleared away the anthill. With a kind smile, Naradji declared Ratnakar a sage, "As you are now reborn from a 'Val-mika' (ant-hill), from now you'll be known as Valmiki."

With tears of joy in his eyes, the sage Valmiki began his new life. He built an ashram near the river Ganga that provided refuge to Sitaji, wife of Shri Bhagwan Ram. It was at this ashram that Valmiki rishi composed the Ramayan!

Here we can See that if we get the Authenticate Guru, like Narada Muni, then our chance of getting the Supreme truth is High. like Valmiki rishi.

Now we finally Understand it from Bhagavad-Gita, Let's see which advise Lord Krishna gave to arjuna regarding Guru.

as Described in Bhagavad Gita chapter 4 Sloka 34

तद्विद्धि प्रणिपातेन परिप्रश्नेन सेवया।

उपदेक्ष्यन्ति ते ज्ञानं ज्ञानिनस्तत्त्वदर्शिनः।।4.34।।

Just try to learn the truth by approaching a Spirtuial master (GURU). Inquire him submissively and render service unto him. The Self-realized souls can impart knowledge unto you becuase they have seen truth.

You can only seek the Ultimate Truth by devoted to Guru only.

From this Sloka of Bhagavad Gita:

श्रद्धावाँल्लभते ज्ञानं तत्परः संयतेन्द्रियः।

ज्ञानं लब्ध्वा परां शान्तिमचिरेणाधिगच्छति।।4.39।।

One who has faith, who is dedicated to serivce of Guru, and who has controlled the senses, attains enlightenment. Having attained enlightenment, one obtains Supreme Peace.

Even Arjuna became disciple of Lord Krishna for seeking a truth,Lord Krisha became Guru to gave Ulitmate Knowlege to Arjuna

From this Sloka of Bhagavad Gita chapter 2 sloka 7

@rjuna uvach:

कार्पण्यदोषोपहतस्वभावः पृच्छामि त्वां धर्मसंमूढचेताः।

यच्छ्रेयः स्यान्निश्िचतं ब्रूहि तन्मे शिष्यस्तेऽहं शाधि मां त्वां प्रपन्नम्।।2.7।।

Arjun said : With my heart stricken by the weakness of pity, with my mind perplexed about my duty, I request you to teach me conclusively what is good for me.I am your disciple. Instruct me who have taken refuge in you.

So,Now days Lord Krishna is persent in form of authenticate Guru from Scriptures, and we are in condition like Arjuna.

But Arjuna used his wiseness and choosed Guru like Lord Krishna, Same Dhruv Maharaj as well as Valamiki Choosed Naradji.

Therefore, we have to use our wiseness and choose a Guru who can liberate us from this body and take us to the Supreme Abode.

Put Faith on Guru our Spritiual Master, like arjuna, Dhruv maharaj and Valmiki, and we Definetly reach to the Lord's lotus feet.

Types of Gurus

There is an diksha guru (initiating guru), shiksha guru (an instructing guru), and even chaitya guru (the “guru within”). An initiating guru is a person who formally accepts a student into a sampradaya (religious order). This kind of guru gives a mantra and other articles of initiation in a ceremony called diksha. The instructing guru is the teacher who actually trains the student. Sometimes the instructing guru and the initiating guru are the same person. The guru within is said to be the “wee” voice of God within the heart that tells a person how to act, and so on. Conscience might be the best word to describe this type of guru. In fact, it is considered that God is the original guru and all other forms of guru represent this one original guru. The expression sat guru (“eternal guru”) is often used to indicate God as the original guru.

Respect and Honour to Guru

A guru is given great respect, even to the point of offering worship (guru puja). One full-moon each year (during July/August) is even called the Guru Purnima and is dedicated to the worship of guru. To have a guru who acts as the master is an essential part of spiritual growth and so to feel respect for and to want to honor one’s guru is natural and healthy. However, there is a tendency within Hinduism for the development of guru “cults” where the worship of guru supersedes the worship of God. This generally takes place when the original idea of guru as teacher becomes diminished and is replaced by the idea of guru as "blesser." To be blessed by a guru is considered the greatest thing, but people forget that the real blessing of a guru comes in the form of study, discipline, and hard work that leads to knowledge and wisdom and not just with the touch of a hand. The idea of the guru as blesser is a debasement of the true role of a guru.

As, I said Guru's mercy is infinite, It is the only short description of his mercy.I can fill-up more than 100 posts from the Scriptures and there are lots of scriptures who sing the glories of Guru.

So, Here my point is that, follow the Guru which is authenticated from scripture and take shelter of him.Respect him worship him with full faith.Always follow his instruction, then by his mercy you will easily understand the Ultimate Truth and reach to the Supreme Abode.!!

Dasanu Das,

श्रीमते रामानुजाय नमः||

जय श्रीमन नारायण:||

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This Keto Pasta Contains Just TWO Ingredients. See How It’s Done!

Hip2Keto may earn a small commission via affiliate links in this post. Read our full disclosure policy here.

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Plate with two ingredient keto pasta and spinach, tomato sides

We’re not kidding… only 2 ingredients!

When’s the last time you made your own homemade keto pasta? (Zoodles don’t count.) If you’re like us, the thought probably never crossed your mind. So our girl Erica set out to try one of the easiest keto pasta recipes from Tasty in her recent video… and it only requires two ingredients! The best part – you likely already have these ingredients on hand.

“This pasta is Y-U-M!! But oh man, was it suspenseful! I was so nervous making this because I seriously did not understand how mozzarella cheese and egg yolk could turn into pasta. I was pleasantly surprised after cooling off this pasta that it turned out so good! It is NOT eggy, but it definitely has a strong cheese taste (well, I guess that is because it IS CHEESE)!

Anyway, it’s amazing—I can’t wait to try it with marinara, meat sauce, alfredo, vodka sauce, and more! It would probably be amazing as mac and cheese as well. I promise it will 100% fulfill your pasta craving!” — Erica

Follow these steps to make this 2-ingredient keto pasta recipe:

mixing mozzarella and eggs

1. Grab the ingredients. 2-ingredient keto pasta requires just mozzarella cheese and egg yolks. That’s it! And the ratio is so easy to remember as well. Use one egg yolk for every cup of shredded cheese. Erica doubled her recipe, which produced enough noodles to fill a large cereal bowl.

mixing melted mozzarella and eggs

2. Melt the cheese in a microwave-safe bowl and let it cool for about a minute. Then you add in your egg yolks to the softened cheese.

mixing melted mozzarella and eggs mixed together with a spatula

3. Mix the cheese and yolks together to create a uniform “dough” and transfer it to a parchment lined baking sheet.

flattening out 2 ingredient dough between parchment paper

4. Lay a second sheet of parchment on top, and use your hands to smooth out the dough nice and flat. Erica was surprised at how easy the dough rolled out by just using her hands!

using pizza cutter to slice noodles

5. Once flattened, remove the top piece of parchment paper and slice the dough into thin strips using a pizza cutter. You could also just use a knife here, but Erica found the pizza cutter to be much more effective.

pulling away noodle from pan

6. After the strips are cut, transfer the “noodles” to a rack and place in the refrigerator for 4 hours or overnight to let the dough cool and set.

2 ingredient noodles about to be boiled

7. To cook the noodles, add to a pot of boiling water for one minute. (This is a much shorter than typical dried pasta cook times, so avoid overcooking.)

bowl of 2 ingredient pasta with spinach and tomatoes

8. Drain the noodles, and rinse with cool water to avoid sticking. Then top the pasta however you’d like!

fork lifting up finished pasta

So yummy! 🍝

This recipe was a huge success and will totally curb your carby pasta cravings. Try it for yourself and let us know what you think!

Love this? Try Lina’s keto lasagna recipe!

Emily obtained two Bachelor's degrees from Clarkson University with 3 years of content writing experience specializing in health, beauty, fashion, & living frugally.

Join The Discussion

Comments 8

  1. Bebe

    Wow! These noodles were so yummy! I can’t stop smiling. I’m happy I tried this recipe. I’m going to make another batch for tomorrow! Thank you!!

    • Angie (Hip2Keto Sidekick)

      Hi Bebe. Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback! I’m so glad you enjoyed it❤

  2. Margarita

    I know this is an old post, I am wondering though has anyone tried this making lasagna? Possibly doubling up or quadruple and cut into bigger strips? I just wondering if it would stay in shape for that or melt while in the oven.

    • Amber (Hip Sidekick)

      Hi there! We haven’t tried it making lasagna. These are definitely dainty noodles and may not hold up. We do recommend this fathead dough recipe for lasagna:

      Hope this is helpful!

  3. Mike

    Noodles are very yummy. You need to be very careful that they’ve cooled enough for you to be able to spread them without them breaking apart.
    Cooling too much you just have to work a bit more at flattening them out. This is preferred to spreading them out too soon where you have them separate.
    And unfortunately even doubling what Erica made, barely makes enough noodles for two people. I made the keto Italian meat sauce and combined it with the keto Italian meatballs and I do not have enough of these noodles to go with it all.
    Except for myself and since I’m the only person doing keto in the house it will work out but for an entire family no way.

    • Angie (Hip2Keto Sidekick)

      Hi Mike! Glad you enjoyed them! Thank you for the helpful tips! I’m sorry it didn’t make a whole lot. We have a few pasta alternatives you could try in the future! Thank you for letting us know❤

  4. Nicolene

    Can gouda or cheddar also be used for this recipe?

    • Amber (Hip Sidekick)

      Hi there! We haven’t tried this recipe with those cheeses. It may change the consistency. Let us know how it turns out for you if you make that change!

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Hong Kong News

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Tuesday, Sep 28, 2021

Privacy watchdog issues guidelines for AI

Privacy watchdog issues guidelines for AI

The Privacy Commissioner's office has issued new guidelines on ethical development of artificial intelligence to ensure the technology is used in a respectful and fair manner.
The privacy watchdog noted that AI has become increasingly popular in Hong Kong, which may lead to privacy and ethical issues.

Commissioner Ada Chung Lai-ling said organizations should embrace three fundamental values when developing and using AI, which are being respectful, beneficial and fair to stakeholders.

The guidelines listed seven ethical principles when applying AI, calling on companies to be responsible and transparent with their use of AI and relevant policies.

They should also ensure there is appropriate human oversight when operating AI, and data should be well kept under effective data governance.

“Organizations should ensure that AI systems operate reliably, can handle errors and are protected against attacks,” Chung said.

But she said her office has no plans to legislate to regulate the use of AI anytime soon.

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Border Crossing: From Switzerland to Italy

Italy, November 28, 2014 For almost a week we’ve been in Switzerland, riding first class trains through heritage cities, art cities, historic viaducts and tunnels, alpine glaciers, and mountain resorts. In every case, the conductors greet us soon after departure, check our tickets, and make sure we know where to disembark or change for our […]


text:
The hokku of Issa is a very mixed bag.  Often it is too emotional, or says too much.  There is, for example, this verse:

Snow sparsely falling;
A splendid
Moonlit night.

The problem here — aside from the rather awkward arrangement (it is not quite so awkward in Japanese) — is the word “splendid,” which brings up the old writing adage, “show, don’t say.”  That means we should just present the experience and let the reader experience it without telling him or her that it is “beautiful” or “splendid.”

There are many ways of re-writing this hokku to eliminate that problem, and this is only one:

Lightly, sparsely,
Snowflakes drift down;
The moonlit night.

What we want to convey is the cold night, with the moon shining on the snow, and a few flakes gently falling now and then, here and there.  The original Japanese just says yuki, meaning snow, is lightly falling (chirari chirari), but we want to emphasize the fewness of the random flakes that fall, because the snow has let up and the moon is shining between scattered clouds overhead.  It would not be shining if the snowfall were thicker and more regular.

The overall feeling is rather similar to the lines from Clement Moore’s The Night Before Christmas:

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below….

The original:

Yuki chirari chirari migoto na tsukiyo kana
Snow lightly-lightly-falls  splendid    moon-night kana

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If you are anything like me, then freedom means a lot to you.

The freedom that comes with peace of mind.

The freedom that comes having clarity about what you want and don’t want in your life.

The freedom that comes when you cease to overthink, over obsess and over analyze events of the past or uncertainties of the future.

That’s what pressing pause, unwinding your mind and being crystal clear about what you want in your life can do for you.

It can help you stop overcomplicating things and allow you to witness, for yourself, that you already are more than enough. Yes you! It’s true!

I am excited for the Unwind Your Mind Virtual Retreat. It’s 14 straight days of people just like you and me. People who have lived through chaos, overwhelm, and in some cases, tragedy, and have chosen to press pause long enough to get clear about how they want to live the rest of their lives.

It’s free, but you have to save your seat to get access. Claim your ticket to the online event here.

With peace and love,

Holly C. Barker

PS Take a moment and pop by the Unwind Your Mind Retreat welcome page. You will get all of the details, including a list of the speakers and topics. Each speaker is offering a gift for you.

Check it out here!

Leadership in times of crisis and uncertainty.

A piece I wrote for

Leadership is a tightrope to walk at this time in history. As a leader in any profession or industry, one must look out and look up to God as to the way forward given that the answers to many of the questions and decisions we are faced with are nebulous. No person on this planet has lived through a pandemic coupled with the political and religious upheaval we are facing, a situation that feels very Biblical in nature and worldwide in scope. With the internet, we can see and communicate with people all over the world in real-time. Nostradamus predicted this would be the age of the antichrist and from the inside of our quarantined lives looking out into the world at large from our television sets and smartphones, we can see that the world is going through massive change — on the precipice of both enlightenment and disaster.

Most do not recognize that we’re at such a critical tipping point because the changes we are experiencing have been spurred by grief over the loss of our lives as we knew them — and for many, the loss of loved ones. Normalcy is now non-existent. A New Normal is in the making, being molded and formed from each and every decision made, from the individual level all the way up to national and global levels. No person can claim to have not been affected by this monumental worldwide event. even if a person’s world has not changed much, the world around them has.

Grief is a life-altering, mind-blowing, game-changing experience; it hits and shakes a person at the very core of their being. I experienced this personally, and as I worked with a team to build out an international grief support organization, I saw how similar the circumstances and impact were for others going through the exact same experience. These series of individual experiences are now amplified out into the human experience and we are seeing from a societal perspective how grief affects humanity as a whole. Without knowing it, everyone is now awakened to the experience of grief even if they do not yet recognize it as so.

These times will make or break a person in a leadership position because true trailblazing is necessary to guide your family, community, organization, or business through the transition to the New Normal. Every human being is unique. We come to the table with different views and different values, and the striking differences in opinion are leading to complete breakdowns in relationships among families, co-workers, communities, and even nations. This was the reason I used the tight rope analogy earlier.

If you’re a leader in an organization, now is the time to define your organization’s culture and how you will keep the peace within the turbulence of stressful emotions and ensure the forward movement of your mission. In this time of strife, gas-lighting, and angst, a polarization is happening, and ideologies are becoming clear grounds for the breakdown of relationships both in a personal and public way. The very platforms that host humanity’s communications are taking sides and redefining their objectives, leaving millions of people disenfranchised and others believing in storyline narratives. Trust is truly broken in many ways.

How does a leader navigate through such circumstances — ones that threaten our very existence on this planet? You stake your claim. You decide what you believe, and you build around those principles, while still maintaining an openness to others. A new definition of life is upon us because collectively we are no longer naive. What you know and understand has changed. This is normal in the grief process. To deny this is the new reality is to get pulled down in the undertow in waters of grief and chaos. This is the time to Let Go and Let God or the Divine help you see the way forward because the path forward is a maze. Go back to the core principles and morals of your faith system and work from there, even if it seems impossible.

Life is about our connection to each other. Do you want to be surrounded by only those who think the same as you? Then make that declarative statement and do not hide your intentions. Do you want to be open to others with differing thoughts with compassion and understanding, then build out that concept within your network of connections and declare it so. Now more than ever, it is important to be transparent about your goals, mission, and actions so that others know your intentions. Trust has been broken from a macro-human standpoint as we stand mired in a time of misinformation when lies are often told as truth for the benefit of a few and the detriment of many.

Every human that comes into this world has their heart on display for God (or the Divine being of their faith) to see, so there is no hiding intent or deeds. Those that have sewn discord, chaos, and evil will be exposed to the Light. Those whose hearts are true and live a just life will be rewarded. Each of us must decide which path through this maze we will take. Those who hold positions of leadership need to be especially thoughtful in our decisions as many are relying on you to guide them forward into this new life.

I personally have returned to reading more in-depth about the teachings of Jesus. I am re-reading his stories and the parables he taught his disciples and followers during a time of great turmoil when the Romans had invaded the Holy Land, causing much strife and warring among differing cultures. To me, it seems we are living in the time of Jesus now, and just as before, it is up to us — using our faith and moral systems as a guide and Lighthouse — to navigate these waters and find our way to safer shores.

The following passage from Matthew 22:37-40 (KJV) has been a guiding force for me during this time of crisis:

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

On these two commandments hang all the laws and the prophets.

This is the foundation and the rock that I am building my house on for all the rest of my days here on earth.

What is your foundation?
Where are you leading from?

– Amen

You can find my article and many others at

Holly C. Barker is the founder and president at Grief Resource Network, LLC and Grief Anonymous, an international online grief support organization and owner of the Launching Pad on Route 66 in Wilmington.

Sharing my story. We all have one.

How does one describe herself to the world at large from a spiritual perspective? Who am I and what is my purpose in this world? It seems when I stop to really consider what I have to say that it is simple to me. Yet, to many people, possibly unbelievable. Everything I am going to tell you is true. I have pictures and my life is an open book and the manifestations of the visions that are divinely given to me continually unfold in a very public way. I am a scribe, a healer, and a conduit. These spiritual gifts of mine are simple and are the same gifts to many people. Let me explain.

My first memory as a small child is a conversation I had with God. I was mad at him for being punished by my parents for trying to roll myself down the basement stairs as a 4 year old. I wasn’t trying to kill myself; it just looked like fun. But what I do know is at that moment I don’t remember my faith in God being instilled in me by my parents. I just knew my Creator was with me and I was holding him accountable. Children are born with open hearts and minds and can readily accept spiritual relationships because they are not far removed from where they came from and they have not been conditioned to believe something different. Ask any child with an “imaginary friend or a deceased relative who sits and talks with them on swings in the sunlight.” It’s real.

Flash forward to 2007. In my early 30’s, my husband was diagnosed with a very serious cancer. My whole world was built around my family. In the midst of his surgeries, scans, and cancer treatments I took one day away from caregiving to give back to myself. I had a stressful corporate pharmaceutical sales job, a big home to take care of, a beautiful 5 year old boy, and a very sick husband at home. I needed a day for me. Just one. I went to a wonderful retreat for a spa day in the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina, my home. I chose a massage for my treatment that day. When I came into the room, it was beautiful and peaceful and the lady asked me to get up onto the table facing up after she washed my feet. It was very unusual for these things to be done. As soon as I was on the table she touched my head. A bright, circular, luminescent, living Light appeared in my vision field. My heart opened. My life flashed before me. I saw myself writing. I saw myself hugging all my family and loved ones. I saw a vision of me writing. Writing letters. The love was the most beautiful, powerful love I have ever experienced in my life. I will never forget it. I went back every year for eight years to try and have that experience again but it was never to be. I learned through this experience the power of Enough. Once is enough and there is abundance in Enough. I slowly put the experience I had seeing Heaven and feeling the love over the years to the back of my mind. My husband told me if I spoke about it people would think I was crazy. I didn’t write letters but the urge to write never left me. Until, 2014.

In March 2014 my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he only lived 6 more weeks. During this time the urge to write became almost automatic. I had to write. The pain and the grief was setting in and I needed an outlet. I couldn’t listen to words I was having to say to myself, to my son, to my husband, family, and friends so writing was my way of expressing my profound grief. So I began a page for my husband’s updates on a website called We shared our short journey from his diagnosis till his death. His page is Jordon Adam Barker. We lived out our thoughts and fears and prayers to the world, to our community, and loved ones. He died in a hospice on May 9th, 2014. One and a half hours later while I was still by his side my phone pinged very loudly in the room. I picked up the phone and it was an email from Tut, an inspirational organization that sends out daily messages to followers. It was 3:30 am. Jordon died at 2:00. The message was simple. It said:

Write it down.

Write it down, Holly.

Write it down.

The need to write began to be so powerful it would stop me in my tracks, wake me up, and it was all I could do to find my computer and start typing. By then I had started a blog. I wrote out the visions I was seeing. The messages I was being given. The sadness and grief and hope and understandings that were wide open to me were written out to the best of my abilities. That first year of writing about grief saved me. It resonated with others as well and by the end of the year I had 70,000 visits to my blog.

I am a writer on grief but it has become so much more in the five years since I took up God’s purpose for me in this lifetime. I simply followed the people, places, and events that have been placed before me and used them for His plan.

In the fall of 2014 I took a spiritual healing journey to Telluride, Colorado with a dear friend. It was there that I had expressed to him that I couldn’t find a good grief support group nor anything beneficial to help me in my grieving process. He recommended that we attend an Alcoholics Anonymous open meeting to see if I could get some ideas from the program. He himself was a recovering alcoholic and had been transformed by the program. I went to a tiny stone church and attended the meeting with him. It changed everything. The healing, the sharing, and the power of transformation was amazing. I knew the grieving world needed this program. It was there with so many spiritual messages I received high up in the beautiful mountains, close to God that I knew his purpose for me. One year later I founded Grief Anonymous. I went looking for a local location to start the meetings and I created an online grief support group online with Facebook with the help of other grieving people who wanted to help me and believed in what I was trying to create. These beautiful souls are still with me today do this work. The online groups exploded in July 2016 when I founded the online groups and within 6 months we were adding hundreds of new members every day. Three years later we now have over 100,000 members and followers on our public page and in our groups. During this time I built out two websites, and, an online resource portal for our Grief Anonymous membership which is slow to start simply because of the enormous costs and manpower it’s taken to get it off the ground. God’s plan for it is soon coming. Everything has divine timing and all the groundwork has been laid.

How does my story end for you today? I met and fell in love with a man who lost his wife to cancer at the young age of 46. I moved to Chicago with my son to be with him and his two boys who lost their mother. We are a blended family of grieving people. We get each other.

Tully Garrett is his name. My new love. He took me for a date one fall afternoon down historic Route 66 in Illinois to go antiquing in 2017. We came across the most amazing yet dilapidated, old, run down restaurant called The Launching Pad with a huge 28 foot spaceman statue in the parking lot named the Gemini Giant. To my utter amazement, the location was for sale. To me, I saw my life. To Tully, I believe he saw the same: Something that was once magnificent that had then become shut down and had fallen. Such was our lives. Destroyed by cancer. We wanted to save it. I saw my location I had been looking for for my first Chapter of Grief Anonymous in the back room of the restaurant. Tully is a car guy and a memorabilia collector. A second room could be a museum for his collection. I saw a kitchen for a little restaurant I always had a vision and dream of owning. The vortex was set. My mind was made up. We had to save it and so it became. God’s plan found us. We found us. On so many levels of this life of mine has been shaped by simple, easy messages from a loving God. All we have to do is notice and believe the signs He sends our way.

Today, April 23, 2019 we have our restaurant and tourist destination open for business. My local Grief Anonymous group is going strong. Our online groups are powerful healing tools for tens of thousand of members and we have millions of people seeing our work online every year.

The visions God is showing me for the future include a real American Renaissance about to take place with Route 66 being at the heart of it all reminding us of who we are as Americans and as a human race. Grief Anonymous will continue to grow and be an active force for grieving people worldwide. And hopefully I will continue to live out my purpose he has for me in my new normal on a personal level. I have learned to live in the abundance of enough. I have learned to live in today. And I am eternally grateful for a Living God who I know exists. I know where I am going at the end of this life. I do not fear. I know where we are all going. It is beautiful beyond comprehension. Yet, do not wish for this day. Live out your life. You are here to enrich your soul with experience and knowledge to which grief will give you the glimpse of the farthest ends of each side of the emotional spectrum of life. The bandwidth of your emotional body is wider that you know. You’ll be all the wiser from it despite the scars and the pain. Everyone experiences grief unless you are the first to go. Just know we are all together here , and then connected again in Heaven. Amen.

love to all

Surviving and Thriving Through the Holidays: You Are Not Alone

For grieving people, the year of “firsts” includes your holidays without your loved one by your side.  It’s different for everyone.  To celebrate by looking back is cherished by many.  Others, still too painful yet.  Those are the ones who can only look forward so they don’t get stuck. Everyone handles the holidays different who is grieving the loss of a loved one.  Special events come into play, family meals and traditions, the sounds and smells of music and cooking.  All of it.

“How do I do this?” I remember asking myself back in 2014.  I will never forget that first holiday season after my husband died.  I will never forget the second Christmas or the third.  I started looking at time differently the first year.  I regard my life as “since Jordon died” in years.  My new life started five years ago when he passed away.  I have been building my life back again since then.  We are within two more weeks of the Christmas holiday and I am feeling the waves of new and old emotions and just trying to hang on.  The second Christmas I tried to open the containers of ornaments for the tree and all our decorations.  It was a physical monumental task to do it.  I will never forget the energy that was contained in those christmas bins.  To this day I struggle to think of getting the beautiful memories out of those boxes.  Hey, to each his own.  Mine is a struggle because Christmas was so precious to me with my family.  Now I can’t look at the stuff but I know it will get better………

During the course of these last two years I have been with my new love and we have blended our family.  He is a widower so he understands me fully.  We are trying hard every day to move forward and we are doing it.  I reached as high as I could to put that prayer and wish out there.  I wanted a new life.  One of a peaceful environment. One of happiness and a new focus.  I followed the people, places, and events that lead me to where my life is today. Seeing the Living Light in 2007 is like my North Star. I always look to the visions I see and combine the people, places, and things God puts in my path and from there we have what is today.  Grief Anonymous, the Grief Resource Network, and The Jordon Barker Foundation all housed under one fantastic little iconic diner called the Launching Pad on Route 66 in Wilmington, Illinois.  We even have a 28ft. spaceman in our parking lot called The Gemini Giant.  To me, my organizations don’t belong in office buildings or a high rise in the city.  They belong on the Mother Road of our Country in the back office of our little iconic restaurant; one that sees thousands upon thousands of visitors from all over the USA and from around the world each year.  Our work is visible to all that visit our destination on Route 66. We are going to spread the news about Grief Anonymous and our Network far and wide, year after year, month after month, and day after day.  Grieving people will find the resources and help they need.

Thats my Christmas wish.

On Becoming a Tree…

After Jordon died I spent a lot of time in nature.  My sensory mind was in overload and I needed to connect with what was real.  I noticed my immediate environment so much more and appreciated the beauty in the dying trunks of trees, the fallen leaves, the dead beetles on the ground.  I also noticed the new shoots of flowers and grasses, the bees buzzing all around me, and the singing of the birds.  Life and death were all around me in amazing glory and it all was happening harmoniously in sync right before my eyes. Seeing life and death in nature helped me understand what was untimely in my eyes as a source of an eternal answer as to Jordon’s death at the young age of 41. I was able to reconcile my grief through nature. Birth, living, dying, and death were cyclical for all things and some of it happens in a predictable way as we think it should and some of it not.  Our environment dictates.  Our human footprint dictates.  The decisions we make impact the world around us and we are all in this together.

As in nature, I have discovered there is a movement to return to true nature after death.  We as a society see funerals and memorial services as a “structured definite” in order to pay homage to those who have passed away and in some locations its even written into law.  We place them in coffins and bury them.  My husband was cremated into ashes and we keep them with us in an urn in my sanctuary. We had a very costly memorial service for him at the funeral home near the town where we lived which was not a good experience.  I now am thinking outside the ritual of what is commonplace and have decided that I want to be a tree.  I will be naturally buried under a sapling tree and continue to join the cycle of nature. Amen.

I took this picture in Telluride, Colorado of the Aspen Trees in the fall.  They are all interconnected and have “eyes” on their trunks.  I want to be an Aspen Tree so I can see and communicate and soak in the sun yet again.

Understanding the Epicenter of Loss and Learning to Forgive

I was never an easy person to be in someone’s life, that I admit.  Those who chose to hold me tight knew I was worth the trouble whether it was just by the fact of being of the same blood or by the fact that I love hard and fierce and I am loyal and protective of those who are close to me.  I have always been lacking of a filter and said what I felt was true to my heart and mind even though it sometimes created a difficult reverberating ripple effect within the circles I stayed within. I am a far cry from a perfect person.

Change is hard for many people.  It somehow comes naturally for me and has come as a blessing because without my love of change and new environments I doubt I would have been able to survive the experience of losing Jordon.   The change of his absence was immense in my life as well as for the people within our circles.  His rapid demise from cancer was earth-shattering.  Mind-blowing.  Family and friends were completely taken off guard.  In six short weeks our lives went from normal and healthy to his dying. His death was like an explosion with all of us blasted away and hanging and scratching to hold on by tree branches, jagged rocks, and vines over a cliff wondering how to climb out of this steep valley of death that was so far below us.  None of us let go somehow and we all barely climbed over that cliff, shell-shocked and changed forever by his death. We were all lucky.  Many in this experience just let go.

It was during the aftermath of the explosion from his death and all of us climbing out of the abyss that we all started relating to each other using our most primal thoughts and reactive behaviors and many of them dark in their nature. We were all acting from our gut-instincts of survival. We were suffering severely.  Our emotions were as raw as third degree burns on the skin.  Words were exchanged.  Vicious acts by family members were committed against me and my son by those closest to us which serve as a timeless reminder of widows and children without fathers over the ages and how they are treated by society to compel even the writers of the Bible to remind all of our vulnerability and to spare us from cruel human nature.  I felt like my son and I were put in stocks in an ancient town square and rotten food was thrown at us and we were mocked and stared at.  Old memories of times when things were not good within our family surfaced in their minds and they acted upon those ancient feelings towards us, completely justified in their minds as to why they were behaving the way they did.  Friends disappeared. Neighbors no longer wanted their husbands to help me out of fear that I was a now a widow and out to snatch their husbands from them.  My life was becoming a visual watery fishbowl of just me and my son.  No plants to hide behind.  No cave to dwell in.  I was totally alone in my experience with no person to relate to out on public display to judge and ridicule and pity.

In being true to my own spirit, I shared my unraveling in full view because it was more important for me to be true to myself and not mold myself into what others thought I should be.  I found a new friend early on after Jordon’s death.  Someone who God put directly into my life and gave me a source of peace and a different plane to exist on while I figured my life out and found a path to create Grief Anonymous. For this, people moved down a couple of seats not to be affiliated with me and added loads of gossip and drama fodder to my plate.  I forgive you, the ones who lived in your own home town with your intact families and who went to sleep every night with your beloved spouses.  I forgive you for you know not what you did and deep down I know you saw me as a fearful example of what you hope will never happen to you.  I understand fully. However, one of you will likely go first, so it will happen.  Use this memory for your future benefit.

I realized I had no one to help pull me to safety.  Everyone was pulling themselves out and didn’t have the reserves of strength to help me nor my son.  It seemed the only reason why some of them wanted my son around was for their own healing, not being able to see past their own pain to recognize what he needed as an 11 year old boy who was in complete shock over suddenly losing his beloved father. It didn’t matter to them.  He became a pawn to play in their pain games to ease the burdens in their own hearts.  They acted out as a means to hurt me as much as they could and they knew going after Jackson would strike me at my core.  This is the time my spirit totem of Mama Bear grew to heightened proportions I had never felt before.  I moved mountains to save his hurt soul. They did get passed me to get to him, and I think many of them have passed over their early actions to blame me for not having him in their lives at this point, yet they only have themselves to look to.  A simple apology is something he will probably never get. He will grow from this and learn and you will carry the weight of it all.

My primal instincts were on full protective alert.  There were people close to him that were hurting him out of their own instinctive need to pass off the pain they felt to another through targeting. Unbelievable but true, children are easy targets in grieving families and circles. Sometimes uncontrollable anger and rage are brothers to the emotion of grief.  People with shattered hearts in the beginning can only react to their pain.  Responsiveness to others to grief and loss come later, reactionary behavior is all a person can do in the beginning.  It’s as reflexive as burning one’s self.  Your initial reaction is a swift withdraw and a yelp or a scream.  I forgive this as I know you only reacted to your own experience of losing Jordon.  I forgive you for acting in your excruciating painful display of behavior towards me and my son soon after Jordon died.  I know what you were like as a person before and that’s why you were in my life to begin with. I will choose to lift myself out of these memories and acts of pain and look farther into our history to remember the good times and the love that was shared amongst us all.  I see your wounded soul trying to recover some sense of normalcy in your life as you are striving to weave together new good experiences.  I also see it is too painful for you to reconnect with me as I am only human as well and remain vigilant and protective of my own recovery and that of my son’s wellbeing.  I chose to look towards these good memories and my beliefs of who you are in the core of your existence on this earth and know that you are doing your best.  Time is still young from our experience.  Forgiveness is mine to give freely without expectation of amends and reciprocity.  Anger, rage, fury are not my friends and do not belong in my heart or my mind so I let them go.  I unpack these emotional bricks from my backpack on my journey forward.  I turn to the Tenets my Higher Power gives to me as a means of healing and health:

Tenet #7 Learning to forgive and what forgiveness really means. Forgiving ushers in a peace in one’s heart which keeps love flowing through it in order to really live in the rest of your days. Amen.

The Duality of Grief

I am coming across some thoughts and visions about this experience with losing Jordon and the onset of my grief…my love…ongoing for him. The pain still hurts a lot.

In the beginning I was just trying to survive.  I had my eye on the prize which was surviving the first year without the father of my eleven year old son.  I got there.  I felt a “finish line completion” emotion come over me, but then I went home from the race I was so glad that I had won that I didn’t take notice to the aloneness of our home. It was still the same. The silence was deafening.  Jackson, as an eleven year old boy, who had had only 6 weeks to digest this was going to happen to us was sitting with me looking up into our big Victorian style house that I had just finished fully renovating, and said, ” This house feels too big now”.  I know he was experiencing the feeling of the Great Void.  I felt it too in those first few months of the epicenter of Grief.  Wow.  It is a feeling that cannot be fully described in words and to which no person on this planet that if you have never had this experience happen to you, then there is no way for you to understand it.  It has to be experienced to fully understand what grief feels like.  My point is, grief is a life-altering, completely enveloping, full emotion that comes to stay in our lives forever.  We have to make room for it.  It effects every other emotion we have.  Every relationship we have.  Everything.  It is a new era of our lives when we have this ushered in to our lives whether we want it or not.  Whether we believe it or not.

Grief is love.  Therein lies the duality, yet the dichotomy of Grief.  This powerful emotion of grief can also create a cataclysmic broadening of our awareness, our spirit, our Higher Power, and our knowledge and wisdom to our lives here on earth now.  The here and now is happening.  We are still living and breathing and responding and trying and scratching and clawing our way through this experience.  Many of us have very spiritual experiences of our Loved Ones passing away.  I always try to remember to Look Up.  Use Tenet 1 and Tenet 2 as your Highest Level go-tos for strength and wisdom and perseverance through the real hard days.  Acknowledge the surreal love with the pain, signs from above if you see or feel them, and enjoy the connectedness you can have to what you need to survive, heal, and thrive?   The ultimate choice would always be to be able to have this wisdom intact that we all experience through grief and just go back and have our loved one back with us.  Gratitude would abound. But we all know the truth and our lives are moving forward without them…..Like Alcoholics Anonymous is for the Alcoholic, a Spiritual Solution, so we are for Grief.  Higher Power, Finding a Sanctuary, Learning to Forgive.  It is working for me and for many others too.  I need it daily.

The Key to opening your heart to Grief that will never leave your doorstep, is to accept Grief in and give Wisdom and Knowledge a comfortable chair to sit on.  The pain and the heartache and the grief waves will be there too, but they don’t get to steal your joy, gratitude, and hope, and love. Every emotion has a place at the table of your heart with Grief. Grief is just the visitor that has come to stay. We just have to make room for it and allow the good emotions to have their say too. img_5816

Face Your Grief: Letter to Grieving Kids from my 14 Year Old Son Who Lost His Dad Two Years Ago

Grief doesn’t go away for us.  And it sure doesn’t go away for our children when they lose an important loved one in their life.  We feel a compounded grief when our children grieve.  The pain of watching them as they struggle to make their own way through grief is very difficult on us. We do our best most of the time.  Other times we do our worst when we ourselves are consumed with a big wave of grief.  Everyone has a full plate in the epicenter of grief, and children are no different.  Some stop talking.  Some act out.  Others pack it all away and do not face their loss and pain.

There just is no rule book here to go by.  All of our situations are different and to pull them all together under one plan of action just doesn’t work. One size doesn’t not fit all when it comes to grieving children.  Just like the education of a child take a village, so does helping a child through grief.  Grief Anonymous wants to be part of giving back to children.  And who better to relate to grieving children, than grieving children themselves.  Here they can come online, read stories, post comments with their parents if they want to, and not risk having to tell their story to other children who do not understand what they are going through and even become frightened over hearing their experience.  When my husband died, several children who were friends with my son had to go to counseling just from being a witness to our experience. They were terrified that they would lose their parent too. It was a big reality check for many people in our community.  The feelings that they have at school can be isolating and confusing and cause emotional turbulence in their young lives being around other children who have never felt grief and loss before.  Connecting children through the writing of stories and experiences here can maybe allow them to know they are not alone.  And they will not have to risk their friends who don’t understand finding out about it.  Teenagers are sensitive about self-image and to wear their grief out on their sleeves is very difficult when you are just trying to fit in.  We as adults remember this awkward stage we ourselves went through.  Imagine going through all of that, along with grief.  I think I have a remote idea now as I write this at how important it is that they know they are not alone.

My son woke up this morning having another hard day with lack of sleep and was struggling going to school. I gave him his laptop and said- write it out.  He wrote this and asked me to share it with you:

I realized another very important thing about dealing with grief today.  It has been the most difficult thing to process in my mind.  It’s like this advice has been said to me multiple times and I couldn’t understand it.  Whenever I feel upset about something, my mom would say, “you’re grieving your dad.”  As a kid, that’s honestly the hardest advice to take. Ever since my dad died, new good things and good opportunities came into my life, I would always have a bad side to it.  Now I know, something that has been said to me since my dad died is really true.  I never focused on the main problem and that caused me even more pain and sadness when really I could’ve had less had I dealt with my grief.”

Thanks for reading,

This was Jackson two years ago at his father’s company location for a memorial tree dedication, four months after his father passed away .  He got up in front of all his dad’s co-workers and told them how much they meant to is father, how he enjoyed hearing the stories from work,  and for that he was grateful.  I am so proud of this young man.  I see his father’s Light through him every day.

The Jordon Barker Foundation, Inc.

My husband, Jordon passed away at 2:00 am in the morning at hospice just 13 hours after he was admitted.  We did not know it was his last night with us.  We did know he was in severe pain and we were doing all we could to keep him comfortable.  My husband was 41 years old when he passed away.  Cancer stopped him abruptly in the middle of his life. He was an amazing father. His friends and connections were scattered all over the world and he was finally back in his hometown surrounded by his childhood friends, family, and loved ones. I don’t think there was a soul on the earth that he knew that didn’t like or love him. Between the time he was diagnosed with metastatic cancer till his passing was only six weeks long.  We had no idea death would take him so soon.  We thought he would live through the summer and that we still had some time as a family, but that was not to be.

We, the ones left behind, often have to whitewash our real experience of losing our loved one.  When we are asked, we skip on many of the hard details when we discuss the nature of our experience of losing them.  We do this for many reasons. To tell the real story of what transpired takes away a sense of privacy and a dignified death to talk about the unpleasant details. We sanitize the conversation to protect the one who asks so we don’t ruin their day and hear our own voices as we describe what we bared witness to. What we experience behind closed doors stays there. Or so we think.

What happens to many of us through the experience of loss is emotional trauma. The after-effects of trauma emit an energy in the human mind in the form of anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, OCD, and depression.  These are the symptoms of grief, not grief itself.

I remember being in my husband’s hospice room and having some emotional turbulence around me and out of nowhere the feeling of lack of air, light-headedness, and weakness came up without warning.  I felt my blood rushing to my face.  I was not able to talk. I heard a ringing in my ears and felt a welling up of nausea begin.  I was sitting next to my husband’s bed and I literally fell out of my chair and on to my knees unable to breathe. This is what a panic attack feels like.  I made my way to the other side of the room and crawled up on another chair and kept my head near my knees and tried to breathe.  I did the only thing I could do. Pray.

Our Father Who Art in Heaven, Hallowed Be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be Done On Earth as it is in Heaven, Give Us This Day our Daily Bread, And Forgive Us our Trespasses, As We Forgive Those Who Have Trespassed Against Us, Lead Us Not into Temptation, But Deliver Us From Evil, For Thine is The Kingdom, The Power And the Glory, Forever and Ever,  Amen.

I said it in my mind and softly on my lips over and over again until I could finally stand and breathe. My spiritual mantra brought me out of my reality and slowed the energy that had overcome me.

Over time the trauma symptoms from my experience of losing my husband are still with me, but they no longer have the piercing, cutting edge to them that they once did. Other people are not so lucky.

For many of you out there, the symptoms have not slowed and they have disabled you. They have come to rule your world without your permission. Grief is alive in society within our homeless populations.   Drug addiction and alcoholism are often the result of not being able to cope with the trauma over loss.  I know thousands of people are living this life because I see it every day on my Grief Anonymous Facebook page and my closed online grief group.  Many people who have experienced loss have found themselves incapacitated from grief and trauma.  They cannot hold a job.  They have no back-up and they lose everything they have, including their own minds.

This is the part of grief in our society that cannot be whitewashed and sanitized.  Their story must be told and the shame and stigma must be removed.

I remember joining an online grief group on Facebook after my husband died.  I remember a woman in Florida on one particular post who had just purchased a train ticket to travel several states away to her aunt’s home for safety, shelter, and hopefully a hot meal.  She only had $5 in her pocket. She had just lost everything as a result of her husband dying.

I will never forget the moment I read that.

I have founded the Jordon Barker Foundation, Inc.  Through the foundation, we will seek to find local charities throughout the USA who can earmark funds for those who are suffering extreme hardship due to grief and loss.  I want to clarify something important. We ourselves are not a charity.  We are a foundation that will give to charities.  We will be looking for legally-registered, financially transparent charities who are local in their communities and who are established to help people who are in crisis from the loss of a loved one.  I want to do something so that people like the woman in Florida have something more than $5 in their pocket and a train ticket to their name.

Forever forward,

Holly C. Barker

CEO, Founder of the Jordon Barker Foundation, Inc.

My Son’s Advice to Other Grieving Kids about Losing His Dad Two Years Ago at the Age of 11. In His Own Words:

I woke up today not feeling up to anything. I had a bad dream and I’m stressing over my grades because they are terrible. I was walking to my bus stop and my feelings kept crawling deeper inside my head. I texted my mom and said “today is not going to be a good day,” so she let me come home.

On my understanding of how to deal with my feelings when it comes to grief there’s no way that I can make myself happy in a second. I think of it like a table with lots of food on it. You can not eat all of it at once. You have to be the smart one and sort this out. I would start off with the stuff that catches my eye first. Then I would slowly take it day by day eating the food. That’s my vision on how to deal with problems with grief over losing my dad. If I choose to eat all the food (deal with all my problems) in one day, I would feel terrible. If I choose to do it that way, none of my problems would get solved. If you don’t take it slowly and deal with all your problems, they will turn into bigger problems. In many situations this is true. No matter what the situation, you have to be your number one priority and you have to sacrifice stuff that does not have to be in your life.

A good way I like to get through my week is to not to look forward only to my Friday night, but to take every day and try to find something to enjoy about it. Take your free time and use it as fun and wisely as possible.

After my Dad died, my mom and I moved back home to be closer to family. All through 7th grade I could not stop missing Toronto, which was the city I grew up in. I spent most of my free time missing home. That is an example of problems that don’t need to be in your life. Now I realized I missed a whole school year on helping myself get better. Free time is the most important thing in going through grief. If you don’t know how to use it right, you’re getting nowhere. If you use it right I PROMISE you will improve.

Thanks for listening to my story,


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The Healing Block

Having good memories of past fun and happiness and love is healing. Having fun is important not just for the present, but also for the past and the future. When we focus on the fun of the day we create a healing tool that can be drawn upon during future days when life becomes difficult.

In Heaven this positive experience is stored as a healing block~ an event that is used in time to heal physical or emotional pain. When we stop having fun and the good events in our lives are not created, we run low on the stores of healing blocks that are used to build us up again. Just like saving money in the bank for a rainy day, making the effort to have some fun creates positive memories as an investment into your future that you can draw upon when times get tough. The more you create, the more positive energy you store, the more is there in the “bank” in your past for you to heal yourself in the future. We need positive memories to heal. And it requires the past, the future, and present effort. It takes effort on our parts to build these memories and they serve us in ways that will come back to us magnified one hundred fold in the future. It doesn’t mean you have to pay for an expensive vacation as it can mean a beautiful walk in a park with a loved one or a picnic or a special dinner out.

Yes, grief does play out a little differently but this same process applies. Sometimes through our grief journey, good memories are painful. It is counter-intuitive on many levels as the good memories equate to loss now, and the void now that those memories are not still being created with the person that is no longer in our life. This is where we have to take the painful but needed steps towards creating new memories and new and different events in our lives and start fresh. After Jordon died it was the things I enjoyed the most that I wanted to do the least. I didn’t quite understand the level of aversion to those things quite like I do now. Now I understand the process a little better. We don’t need to stop doing fun things in our lives, as those things will lead us to healing. I have decided to go back in time to the memory of my childhood and remember things I loved to do when I was young. For me, I used to love to create art.  I decided to start doing things that were really related to things I loved to do that did not have attachments to my relationship with Jordon. I am building an art studio in my basement for me to create art from my memories and feelings and visions I have had over the past year. I am going to create artistic form and mass using color and paint and objects and canvass from my visions. I am using this childhood love of mine as a means to heal. The pain and loss and good memories that were created with Jordon need to be out of my being, out of my mind, and onto canvass where I can look at it, see it, and understand it, and be at peace with it. Writing this journal is another way I am choosing to express and heal myself. The ideas are endless. Find your outlet and just go for it.

I am telling you this as a means to help you become unstuck. If you cannot drag yourself out of the pain and anguish you feel from the physical void of your lost loved one, try and take small steps towards doing something in your life that creates a new memory, even if is for a minute each day. If you are not creating something new, you will only live in your old life and that is the doorway to being locked in a room that does not serve you. Maybe this journal can be a key for you to unlock old passions, create new energy and focus, and allow in the flow of new pathways to follow.


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Room Decoration

Unusual Report Finds The Misleading Practices of Room Decoration

Room Design from Home Gami Change higher cabinets with floating cabinets to make a kitchen actually really feel bigger and brighter. Search for the alternative colors to tie your design collectively. If the back of your couch will not be lots to take a look at, disguise it behind a low console desk topped with decorative objects. This decorating thought is an efficient method to brighten up your partitions without spending an excessive amount of cash. Layer totally different textures and mix colors to make issues fascinating like this glam dwelling room and steer clear of boring look. Make a severe assertion in your bedroom inside design with an outsized or uncommon headboard.

Add some persona to your residing room with vibrant yellow chairs, and stability it with impartial partitions, black furniture and huge painting. And, for those who happen to nonetheless feel that the decoration of your home is not full, then you’ll always room for some flowers & vases that go with the lights that you simply chosen. Floating cabinets are an effective manner of displaying cherished non-public devices in your bedroom design so you wouldn’t have to keep up them hid to the purpose the place you will under no circumstances see them as soon as extra, or the place they may spend most of their lives with you stashed away in a storage field.

Making an attempt to replace your home decor?

Portray the partitions a model new coloration or placing up some wallpaper can provide the room a very new look. As such, together with some sort of pure aspect in a bedroom helps cut back the amount of plastic waste that’s being produced. In a small bedroom, it doesn’t matter what the type is, from standard to updated, a nook window is an environment friendly technique to make a smaller room seem a lot greater than it actually is. On this minimal residing room, by Homepolish designer Katherine Carter , much much less is extra. The bedframe or headboard has these days turn into a updated perform piece of a bedroom inside design.

And naturally, sensible storage is essential in a bedroom.

The precept place of the bedrooms is relaxation, leisure and good sleep. The mild-hued Peranakan tile backdrop provides femininity to the bedroom, whichÂ features a darkish wall. Organize your desk alongside the aspect of the dwelling roomÂ to separate it from the place you sleep. Be good about storage when decorating a small bedroom. Philips, Chumbak, Shady Concepts are some in style manufacturers providing their home decor merchandise on-line. In case you’re drained on account of you aren’t getting sufficient excessive-high quality sleep, then among the best treatment is a bedtime routine primarily based on sleep most interesting practices.

White walls and pure mild are an ideal canvas to decorate spherical. You can take a look at wall decals and stickers, work , mirrors , tin and metallic indicators, and slightly extra online here. Ecdesign Inside Planner is the straightforward option to let your inside ideas come to life. Final fall, I found this free website known as Roomstyler to plan room layouts, and it is primarily like The Sims on steroids.

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Crayon Jungle Deluxe Flannel Swaddle Blanket

Regular price $14.99

Trend Lab Deluxe Flannel Swaddle Blankets offer the perfect amount of breathable warmth and softness to keep baby nice and cozy. The soft 100% cotton flannel Crayon Jungle swaddle featuring safari animals in sweet pastels is perfect for your little one. Our generously oversized swaddles measure 48 inch x 48 inch and are multipurpose for swaddling, tummy time and on the go nursing! Additional colors, prints and Deluxe Flannel products from Trend Lab are sold separately.


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Contemporary Studio Extension For A New Jersey Church

Even though it’s rare, it’s not uncommon for a church to be transformed and to become a private residence. It’s the case of this historic church that can be found in Hoboken, New Jersey. The exterior of the church was kept almost intact while the interior was restructured and completely redesigned. But it’s not the actual residence that stands out. It’s the studio extension that has been recently built.

The extension doesn’t follow the same lines as the main structure. While the residence has an exterior that is still faithful to the building’s history, the studio creates a dramatic contrast. It’s a contemporary space with an exterior design that would stand out in any environment. The project was designed and developed by Marchetto Higgins Stieve Architects. They used modern materials that contrast with the natural brick and stone that were used to build the original building.

The studio features a colorful paneled exterior with a surface that resembles scales. It’s a very different design than the original brick pattern used for the main building. The studio also has a strange shape. It’s a very extravagant design meant to stand out but, in fact, it’s too odd to even be compared with the former church.

Read more:  Ultra Contemporary Home in Australia

The studio extension has a somewhat organic design, although it’s also dramatic in its contemporary beauty. Inside, it contains an office, a small bookcase and a sitting area. The interior design is actually simple and elegant and nothing relates it to the colorful and extravagant exterior. The colorful honeycomb panels, even though they don’t feature strong or bold colors, stand out visually both because of the contrast with the surrounding environment and because of the shape of the studio. It’s an interesting choice, especially since the interior is also contrasting, featuring wooden finishes and leather furniture.

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The Removal of Old Corian Countertops

A great way to update a kitchen or bathroom is by replacing the countertops. Corian countertops are commonly installed with adhesive and maybe a few screws directly to the cabinet. The cabinets come in smaller sections that were attached to make up long sections. Between each section is a full side panel that you'll use when prying up the countertops. Side panels provide full bearing from the pry bar to the floor rather than a cabinet’s weaker areas such as above door or drawer openings. You'll pry the countertops up with a wrecking bar that is wedged between the cabinet and countertop. Wedging will break the adhesive apart allowing for the removal of the countertop.

Open cabinets or remove upper drawers to inspect the underside of the Corian countertop for screws or any other objects that secure it into place. Use a screw driver or screw gun to remove any fasteners.

Look on top of the countertop near the wall for any backsplashes. Most Corian countertops will have a backsplash of the same material, either attached or a separate piece. Remove the backsplash if it is a separate piece. Hammer the slotted end of a wrecking bar behind the backsplash and pry it away from the wall. Reposition the wrecking bar working down the entire length of backsplash until it's fully removed.

Position yourself at one end of the countertop and look for the outside panel of the cabinet. Place the slotted end of the wrecking bar where the countertop sits directly above the cabinet's outside panel and wedge it in by hitting the back with a hammer.

Pry the back of the wrecking bar up or down to break the adhesive that was used to secure the countertop to the cabinet.

Work down the cabinet using the wrecking bar and hammer to break any adhesive that may be securing the rest of the countertop. Try to wedge and pry only above the outside cabinet panels and not above weak points such as above doors or drawers. Pulling up on the end of the countertop could break the adhesive as well but also poses the risk of breaking the countertop into pieces.


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Weekly Games

waahilaWhere: Wa’ahila Ridge State Recreation Area (Hila)
When: Friday’s at 3:00 PM (confirm with group as sometimes our plans can change)

Google Map directions to Hila

For Friday afternoon games at Hila (or any other time), the recommendation would be to post a game inquiry on our HDGA Facebook page, or if you are not connected with social media, you can try contacting Allen Borsky. There are no baskets or tee pads at Hila. Players walk the 18 hole course with one or more traveler baskets. Don’t let the fact that there are no baskets here deter you from playing Hila. We have been playing there for over 10 years now and it’s quite challenging.

bellow_beach_panoWhere: Bellows Air Force Base, Waimanalo, Hawaii
When: Varies according to players schedules

Google Map directions to Bellows

NOTE: This group does not meet regularly on Wednesdays anymore, so we suggest that you set up your game ahead of time by posting a game request on our Facebook page. The course is open 7 days week however, sunup to sunset.

If you need assistance getting on base at Bellows, or are interested in playing a pick up round with other golfers, contact Thomas Lagrave or Al Bird.

UHWhere: University of Hawaii at Manoa (UH)
When: Sunday mornings – meet up time varies
Google Maps directions to UH

If you would like more information about playing at UH, contact Al Bird.

NOTE: This group used to meet regularly on Sunday mornings at 9:00AM, however they do not meet regularly anymore, so we suggest that you set up your game ahead of time by posting a game request on our Facebook page, or contact one of our members mentioned above.

dexters 2Where: Dexter’s Alley
 Saturday and Sunday mornings at 9:30AM.
Google Map directions to Dexter’s Alley

Players also meet at all different times through out the week. There are some permanent baskets set up here, but players also bring portables. For weekday or weekend games at Dexter’s Alley, contact Al Bird, or the Honolulu Joint Military Disc Golf Club on Facebook

Where: Sand Island State Recreation Area.
When: Wednesday’s 2:30pm meetup; 3:00 Tee time.

For general questions relating to any of these course, our weekly games, or our club, or if you need someone’s phone number from any of the contacts listed above, please contact me, Allen Borsky.


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Training Tip Video’s: “Inner Core Energy – On/Off”

Working on the concept that our ‘inner energy’ can connect with our horse, then testing it can be interesting.
To be able to use our inner energy to create movement but to then be able to take that away and only have our ‘outer energy’ or movement working and not have movement…how is this possible?
For the most part, if the ‘inner and outer energy’ isn’t separated and the horse/human connection isn’t refined and trusting enough, movement of anything to a horse can mean ‘go’. This is because firstly our horses work on learned behaviours and a predator with energy usually means go AND we also haven’t learned to go inside ourselves and learn how to separate our inner intent/focus/energy from our body movements. This can take time but horses understand it very well once they trust that we, as predators, can do it.
Being able to switch our ‘inner’ core energy on/off is so integral to being connected to our horse, when on the ground and more importantly when riding.
No matter what our body is doing can we ‘switch’ our energy off to create a halt and then bring it back on to create movement?

Hope you find this video intersting….can you see how much focus Stormy has on me? he’s watching my ‘inner focus energy’ to see when it comes and goes even though my body is moving the whole time!!

  • Shelley – HorseSavvy


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facebook Other Licensing Opportunities | Hot Dog on a Stick Franchise

Other Licensing Opportunities

Hot Dog on a Stick is an adaptable brand that can open productive and popular locations in a variety of spaces. Whether it’s a kiosk, a food truck, or an in-line location, we can adapt our business to fit in a variety of locations.

Our adaptability allows us to work in venues with a variety of special considerations. Here are a few of the unique conditions we can adapt to:

  • Shared kitchen/prep space
  • Small spaces
  • High traffic in a short amount of time
  • Seasonal opening and hours

Market to Your Venue

Targeted, channel-specific marketing is essential to the Hot Dog on a Stick licensing strategy. Whatever your location, we want to make sure that our marketing materials speak directly to your consumer. That’s why our experts work with your team to create custom campaigns rather than relying on generic or stock materials. We have years of experience creating marketing campaigns for non-traditional locations that have specific needs.

Location Ideas

Non-traditional licensing opportunities are varied and diverse. Given the adaptability of our business model, Hot Dog on a Stick locations would be a great fit at any of these locations and many others.

Stadiums and Arenas: Hot Dogs on a Stick are great options for concerts, circuses, monster truck rallies, and just about anything else a stadium or arena has to offer. Designed to eat on-the-go, our entire menu is a great option for entertainment seekers who don’t have access to a table.

Military Bases: Military bases and their surrounding towns are hubs of activity. Between enlisted service men and women, their families, and civilian contractors, new people are constantly moving in and out of these areas. Hot Dog on a Stick is a recognizable brand that serves a product that can be eaten on-the-go as a meal or a snack, making it the perfect option for this demographic.

Travel Centers: Travel centers are a great non-traditional location option. Truck drivers, commuters, road trippers, and tourists are drawn to travel centers to rest and rejuvenate. Hearty and quick foods similar to Hot Dog on a Stick are already favorites at these locations, and with our adaptable requirements, it would be simple to set up a small Hot Dog on a Stick at any travel center.

Theme Parks and Attractions: By nature, theme parks and attractions are fast-paced and exciting. Hot Dog on a Stick is equipped to keep up with that pace, giving guests the option to stop by for a snack and go on to the next activity with their Hot Dog on a Stick and soda in hand. Alternatively, guests can take a break from the action to sit and enjoy a tasty snack to keep their energy up for a big day of fun.

Movie Theaters: Hot Dog on a Stick fits right into movie theater food courts and concession stands. A savory snack that can be enjoyed with one hand, our classic Dog is the perfect treat to enjoy while watching a film.

Boardwalks: Hot Dog on a Stick locations fit right in on boardwalks. After all, our first location was opened on a boardwalk, and our menu is inspired by the fun and festive atmosphere of summer at the beach. Between our hand-stomped lemonade, funnel cake fries, and of course our classic Hot Dog on a Stick, nothing says summer like enjoying our menu items during a day at the beach.

Hotels, Casinos, and Resorts: Families on vacation, corporate workers on a business trip, couples on a quick getaway, and everyone in between love our food. Adding a Hot Dog on a Stick license to a hotel, casino, or resort, is a unique way to offer something fun to your guests’ dining options.

Contact Us

A license deal with Hot Dog on a Stick brings our fresh menu and fun atmosphere to almost any venue. If you have at least 250 square feet, hungry customers, and a desire to work with an experienced brand, reach out to us today to learn more about the benefits and requirements of licensing with Hot Dog on a Stick.

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Hotels Search Engine

Carnation, Local USA Hotels, Motels, Resorts and Lodges

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Four Seasons Heating & Cooling
4721 Tolt Avenue, Carnation, WA, 98014
Phone: (425)333-5992
Tags: Accommodations, Hotels,
View Four Seasons Heating & Cooling map & directions

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Floofy Friday

Friday: Oh hey Quill! Whatcha doing?

Quill: Helping Mom pick a paint color.

I suggested Tabby Brown and she was trying to match me.

 And what goes better with Tabby Brown than Marshmallow Feets White, Tail Gray, or Belly Floof  Cream?

Or Kitty Chin Tan?

Friday: Wow, it's gonna look great! You and Greyson will be perfectly camouflaged.

One of the jobs we face as kitties is to act as counselors and advisers to our humans. Perhaps Mom doesn't think I'm listening when she asks for my advice, because when I weigh in she almost always does something other than I tell her.

She asks what she should make for lunch. I say chicken treats and feel free to be clumsy with the drops! She picks something stupid like gluten-free pasta. Yuck.

She asks if she should go for a walk. I say yes and take me with you! She goes but shuts the door in my face!

Even when the advice is super obvious - like write more - she seems to struggle. She's hopeless.

Maybe she listens to Quill's advice cause I always see them with their heads together. Perhaps she listens when the advice comes in a diminutive squeak rather than a cute meow.

Though I'm pretty sure Quill would tell her to have chicken treats over gluten-free pasta too.

Floofy Friday

Friday: What? More Baby Quill Pictures!

 Look at the smile!

I may have pulled a squee muscle!
I have to remember to limber up before I come over here.

Quill: Sorry Friday - we should have put up a warning. We are sure happy to see you though!

Friday: Did you get any special treats for your Birthday?

Greyson: No! Because I followed him around all day - just in case and there were none!

Quill: Well, you gotta sleep sometime...

Greyson: What? You had secret Birthday treats that you didn't share? Outrageous!

Birthday Boy

Three years ago today (give or take) my sweet Quillbert came into this world. He was born into less than ideal circumstances - a litter of three to a Mom who was wild and living in the yard of an abandoned home in the Las Vegas suburbs.

He might have turned into a feral cat, struggling to survive and having to fight for his life. Instead , he was rescued by the kind Casey who saved the kittens and got them a happier life.

Quill is such a sweet boy; my shy and gentle giant. He enjoys patrolling at night and sleeping in. The boy loves his treats. He likes to dance around my legs to show his love. He likes for me to pick him up and cuddle him (which is not always easy - 22ish pounds). Often he waits by the doorways till I smile and wave for him to enter. King Quillbert enjoys making a regal entrance. When I pet him, he purrs and unfolds like a flower.

He squeaks his displeasure when the AC filters get too dirty. He rarely speaks above a diminutive squeak. He spends most of the workday curled up under my chair. He loves a nice cave to tuck into.

He loves to chase and be chased by Greyson. He could flatten Greyson if he wanted to, but he's always gentle, even when Greyson is not. He rolls over to show his belly whenever my husband asks "Who's a good boy?" cause he knows he is.

I love my big bear of a kitty.

Happy Birthday Quill!
You make your family very happy everyday!

Floofy Friday

Friday:Wow! That is some floof!

Quill: Thanks Friday! I work pretty hard on it. Lots of naps and I sleep in most mornings. I avail myself of lots of petting - helps coax out the floof.

Friday: What about... you know... shedding?

Quill: Well you know, it happens. I don't mind a nice brushing as long as I get to chew on the brush at the end of the session - oh and a few treats. Gotta keep my floof-growing strength up.

So Wrong

Greyson here to report a Parental Violation.

So Quill and I have two litter boxes, but we both prefer the one closest to Mom. We are big fans of the clumping sand litter. We prefer Mom run a pretty tight ship and scoop two to three times daily. She's like a Litter Ninja - swooping in to scoop almost immediately.

All of a sudden she had this hair-brained idea to try a crystal litter. Dad was rightfully against the idea - why mess with a good thing. Mom was all "I'd like to scoop less" - can you imagine!

Finally she got her way to try a bag. Dad just emptied our box (luckily not our favorite) and put in the new litter. No mixing of litters to warm us up to the idea. Finally Mom went and stood by the scary box and let us sniff the litter, but we both have refused to use it.

Naturally we've doubled up in the box closest to Mom.

Floofy Friday

Greyson: Zzzzzzzz

Friday: Greyson?

Greyson: Oh hey Friday! Just napping with Nippy.

We're spent over here. Aunt Jenny came to visit this week and the house was alive with activity. I like Aunt Jenny, she's an excellent petter! She can even pet with a high degree of difficulty by performing an "Against the Grain" maneuver - which Mom tried to copy unsuccessfully.
Too bad you missed her Friday - I know she's a huge fan of your work.
Friday: Well that's so nice to hear! I do have a lot of fans out there... maybe not as many as Saturday.
Greyson: Well you're tops in our books.

Friday Fail

Greyson here... Some of you might have thought Mom was playing a highly clever April Fools joke by posting her Friday post on Wednesday..... If only!

Sometime yesterday she became convinced it was Thursday - despite all evidence to the contrary (Dad taking out trash for trash day (Thursday), Wednesday night programming, etc.). This morning she was still so convinced it was Friday she turned off her alarm clock and gave a delighted shout that Friday had arrived.

She continued her delusion until about an hour into work this morning when reality hit - and hit hard. Looking at her calendar and noticing her Thursday meeting had moved to Friday. WTH?

Friday was a real prankster this week and had Mom totally fooled. Awesome!

Floofy Friday

Friday: Greyson? Are you sleeping on your Mom's shoe?

Greyson: Huh? Oh yeah I was just bunny-kicking it and I got so sleepy... It's been a busy week here Friday! We're sure glad you're here - you've been missed!

Friday: Well thanks Greyson! It's nice to be loved... Hey did you go back to sleep?

Friday: Okay buddy you rest up. Look at that smile!