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The Myth of Advent

There are exactly 8 unopened Advent gift bags, with accompanying ornaments hanging across the window. There are 8 stories from theÂ heraldedÂ Jesse tree that are still unknown. There are two days until Christmas. Where did the time go?
hanging advent016
Advent… it is the time of waiting.
jesse tree ornaments009

The time of waiting. When we are searching for something else — something to keep us busy in those days before Christmas, while we long for Christmas to come.

We don’t really long for Christmas to come. We jump from one gathering to the next. From one store to the next, from one cookie recipe to the next one. Our minds jump around trying to figure out that perfect gift for someone. Our minds do acrobats trying to figure out how in the world we will get it all done. We can wrap this then, and then we will do that… and then, there are the Christmas specials you don’t want to miss. And just at the worst possible moment, you realize you are OUT OF TAPE!

We are in need of nothing to carry us through theÂ anticipationÂ of Christmas.

What was once so pretty and joyous now looms above my head and reminds me of what I have not done and what I have missed.

Who ever created an Advent calendar in the first place? What bored human in the history of humanity ever found a need for them?

jesse tree ornaments011

There are no long stretches ofÂ emptinessÂ that the Jesse tree story could have filled — not even for a second have I had a moment that needed filling. Rather, waves of panic and anxiety have consumed me. Especially the night I came out out of aÂ luxuriousnessÂ shower, only to realize that the guest would be arriving in exactly 45 minutes, and the sticky mess on the kitchen floor still had to be mopped.

I have it all planned out in my mind. When I will shop. What cookies I will make. What candy I will make. What crafts we will do. Where we will go. But they are merely wishes. Â These ideals cannot hold up to reality.

How in the world did I get so far behind?

hanging advent010 susiej

I try to cut things out — but when you are mom, you are Christmas to so many other people. Your choice to shave things, affects so many. Lesson learned: do not even think for a second that you will get away with not making the Pecan Rolls. The dough is now mixed, and quietly doing its cold rise.

And I still have not made those coveted Lemon cookies that FUN SIZE craves. I don’t want to be the one Â disappointingÂ him.

I have read the Jesse Tree advent stories… some of them. In the morning.., when it’s quiet, and my heart doesn’t remember that it needs to start racing to get through the day. There were a few times, when the words, heard many times before, cut through those wires across my heart and gripped me, and took me to a new place where I had not intended to travel that day. The wood from the ark… the wood on the cross. Both symbols of grace. A place of awe. Later that night, I passed on what I learned to the boys. I have no clue if anything from my heart made it out of my mouth and into their hearts. I can only wonder… and repeat what I said. Again, and again. Do you understand? He was here since the beginning of time… the light of the world… and he came to earth… as a baby.Â I can’t quite wrap my head around it myself… but I’m trying to teach them?!

jesse tree ornaments008

On Christmas, the creator of the universe comes to earth. As a baby. I’ve heard it so many, many times. This is not new news. Slowly, a question starts to enter my mind. Why would the creator of the universe put himself at the mercy of sinful humans, and arrive as a helpless baby? Why did he intervene in history so that the place he would be born is in the dirtiest of places on earth? He could have arranged anything — he didn’t have to come as a baby. Nor, in a manager. But this is how it all unfolded.

I cannot wrap my head around these facts. Advent misses me again this year.

All I can do this advent is to ponder these questions in my heart, as I stand under the advent calendar that even I couldn’t finish. The deadlines I have missed.
hanging advent susiej008

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One comment to “The Myth of Advent”
  1. Ah Susie. How so many of us must relate to this post. I think back to Christmas in the UK when the BA was little and the crafts and cooking and special sparkly ideas I churned out. And I seem to remember it was joyous, and fun! But then I remember the Christmas Eve that I sat up until 3am finishing the Princess Jasmine costume I made her and realise that I was disorganised, even then….

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With only days left before our scheduled departure from the European Union, Brexit is looming large on the horizon. As talk of transition, hard borders and ‘no-deal’ spreads, we want to find out how farmers and food businesses across the country are feeling about the future of UK agriculture. What threats and opportunities do they see? Has their perspective changed since 2016? What specific issues are their businesses facing, and what has the UK Government done to address those concerns? We’ve invited farmers and food businesses across the UK to share their thoughts.

Nathan Richards runs Troed y Rhiw Organics, a 23 acre mixed organic farm with a focus on horticulture, with his wife Alicia Miller. Based in rural West Wales, the farm’s ethos is built around a belief in the necessity of farming sustainably in the 21st century. This means a whole farm holistic approach to food production which starts with the microbial worlds within soils and encompasses everything from habitat protection and creation, to the role that the farm has within the local community. The business is focused on ‘hyper’ local food, serving the immediate community through a box scheme, local producer’s market and retail outlets such as restaurants and health-food stores.

Nathan sat on the steering group for the Soil Association’s Future Growers apprenticeship programme until 2017, when the apprenticeships ended. He is keenly interested in how we support new entrants into farming and the importance of ensuring farming is a viable profession for future generations. He currently sits on the Soil Association’s Farmer and Grower Board and is also active in The Landworker’s Alliance Cymru.

“As a small-scale grower in the UK, I think I have a somewhat different perspective. We’re not so worried about the increasing cost of imports – it could help people realise the value of a relocalised economy for British produce that can compete better against the globalised food supply chain. But the prospect of rising inflation and interest rates if we crash out of the EU without some kind of agreement, is scary – we have a large business loan on the farm and we just about manage to pay it every month. And that’s not to mention the potential chaos that such a Brexit would inevitably bring.

The Welsh Assembly Government does appear committed to Environment Secretary, Michael Gove’s lead – to create a more sustainable food system for the country, basing subsidies on good environmental practice. This is bolstered by the Wellbeing of Future Generations Act, which is remarkably forward thinking. The tiny ray of hope in the Brexit fiasco, is that it might open the door to a better way of farming which protects the environment and feeds people actual fresh food again.

There is a perception that Wales isn’t a place where vegetables are grown – while there is production on the Welsh borders, it’s certainly not as widely recognised as a horticultural centre as the east of the UK is. There is increasing awareness of the importance of growing in Wales with initiatives like Tyfu Cymru to support commercial horticulture and Peas Please encouraging children to eat vegetables. We run a vegetable box scheme and it’s really eye-opening in terms of understanding people’s veg consumption. We have very loyal customers, but we also have a lot of people who join for a few months and then drop off because they can’t hack eating a lot of veg. This needs to change since the rise of obesity, particularly among children, can only be addressed by better, healthier eating and more activity and that really needs to be at the forefront of policy.

I really feel that we have to re-visualise a credible food system as comprised of small parts – including farmers and growers with under 5 hectares of land. The days of monocropped big agriculture must end; we have to return to good mixed rotational farming practice and take a holistic agroecological approach to farming which cares for all the flora and fauna on the farm as well as what we grow. Post-Brexit, there could be a lot more room to build local food economies that not only feed people, but also offer quality local employment. We have always committed to training the next generation of growers in part to fill the skills gap in organic horticulture production in the country, and so have offered paid apprenticeships. Because to my mind, if we become a society that has forgotten how to produce its own food, what are we?”

Sustainable Food Trust’s response

Nathan’s vision of a relocalised food system is one that the SFT heartily supports. The industrialised supermarket supply chain model has created a huge distance between the farmer and the consumer and this has disconnected society from its food system. We need to work to rebuild that connection. Innovation and technology can help with this, with new platforms (such as Farmdrop) working to connect farmers with urban consumers and create shorter supply chains that allow farmers to sell directly without the need for middlemen. However, more traditional forms such as farmshops, box schemes and local markets are most immediately placed to rebuild that relationship.

Nathan outlines a future for Welsh horticulture that is built on sustainable practices and ecosystem health that is designed to enhance natural and human capital. We applaud him for the work that he is doing to support the revitalisation of the sector in Wales, that has seen a significant decline. With rising obesity and a crisis of non-communicable diseases, it is critical that society begins to examine how diet impacts public health and how we can support farmers to grow healthy foods for healthy diets. To achieve the systemic shift towards more sustainable farming methods, we need to unlock the barriers to change and encourage farmers to adopt agricultural practices that serve the public interest, in terms of its impacts on both the environment and public health. If implemented correctly, the Government’s new Environmental Land Management Scheme could help to deliver this shift by paying farmers for public goods.

However, the ability for the UK to deliver such a shift may be dramatically impacted by its departure from the EU. While Nathan’s business model is certainly less exposed by the UK’s exit from the EU, he is right to identify that there is still a risk that his business would be seriously impacted by a no-deal Brexit, despite his focus on local markets. If the UK exits the EU without an agreed deal, the damage to the national economy will be wide-spread and will impact the entire business sector – Nathan included. Questions about how farmers plan and adapt their business models to meet the potential impacts of Brexit are becoming critical, with only a few days left before the March 29th deadline.

For more on the SFT’s position on the Agriculture Bill, our policy paper is available here.

This series is not meant to endorse particular businesses or farms, but rather seeks to offer a variety of perspectives on the impact of Brexit on agriculture and the food supply chain.

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Men’s Tennis Wraps Up First Tournament Of The Fall Season

After a solid start to the first tournament of their fall season, the Thunderbird tennis team finished up play at the Bank of Commerce Fall Tournament this weekend.

After adding a lot of new talent to their roster over the off season, this first tournament of the year was an exciting way to display that new potential.

Head coach, Sadhaf Pervez, was positive of the outcome, but recognized there is still work to be done.

“We made our presence felt at this tournament. We are stepping towards the right direction. We need better composure when things don’t go our way,” said Pervez.

Southern Utah had standout players from singles and doubles at the tournament.

Connor Tordoff won a quality match 6-2 7-5 against Peter Shin of the University of Idaho to qualify for the quarterfinals.

Jonathan Morales also worked his way through consolation to make it to the semifinals of the back draw.

In doubles, Southern Utah really made their presence known. Two different Thunderbird doubles teams won at least two matches in the doubles draw.

Tordoff and Morales paired off and reached the quarterfinals of the main draw by narrowly winning a tight first-round match 8-7 (7-4) and flying through their second round match 8-2.

The combo of Guy Feigin and Jose Ortega made it to the semifinals of the back draw after falling in their first match.

The Thunderbirds will next be taking the court for the ITA Regional Regional Tournament hosted at Brigham Young University. The event will be held through October 18th to October 21st.

For all things Thunderbird Men’s Tennis them on Twitter, Instagram, and like their page Facebook.

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SUU Athletic Strategic Communications

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Saturday, October 15, 2011

Taste of Lace

There are several ways to create a journal and for me it is all about
the most beautiful and exotic and vintage fabrics
that I can draw together
along with
lace fabrics and a selection
of different

new and vintage

and then it is about the art of

drawing it all together

and adding LOTS of embellishments
to create a totally harmonious

This fabric journal will very shortly be available
My Etsy Shop.
Along with all the different laces it will contain some beautiful printed linen,
brocades, vintage curtain fabric, scrim, silks, and furnishing fabrics,
sari ribbon and silk ribbon
(a gift from dear Pat Winter at
mostly all of which have been coffee dyed.

Some pages are totally crazy patchworked
there are many pages that have been left
blank for journalling
your own thoughts etc.

I would like to mention that there is a wonderful giving person over at
who would really appreciate a little support from
all bloggers at present as her dear
husband faces surgery.
Cindy has so very kindly organised a series of seminars to help all bloggers
with all aspects of blogging.
So go and visit her blog to learn all about them.
I can vouch personally of the wonderful benefit you will gain by reading these.

Hope your weekend is going well and that you are finding it fulfulling
in every way!

Wishing you love and happiness!

Suzy xxx

  1. Suzy that journal is so beautiful! I love it! Hugs Marilou

  2. Such a delight Suzy,and I can see that much love and thought has been poured into every page.That's what makes it so special.
    Hugs, Angela.

  3. Your journal is very beautifull. I love it. Congratulations .

  4. Beautiful and so nice to see what inspires you to get started. Does this mean your journals are paper based under all the treasure? I assumed all the pages would be fabric.

  5. Superbe journal ! Bisous et bon week-end

  6. Oh Suzie, this is absolutely stunning...

  7. You do draw things together so beautifully, I just want to reach out and touch your journals. Another gorgeous piece x

  8. This is another so gorgeous journal, dear Suzy! I love the texture of it, the muted colors and of course all the wonderful bits of lace.
    Have a great weekend, sweet friend :-)!
    Big hugs,

  9. Oh my goodness.....your work is just stunning. I made two journals this week, padded and using faded old fabrics but yours put mine to shame. So glad you came for a visit. Hope to see you often. Best...Lynn

  10. It certainly is totally harmonious. Your art touches something deep inside me.

  11. have such a way with putting together fabrics ....beautiful...x

  12. Suzy, you have various collections of his art. beautiful work, I'm fascinated by your Patchwork, your bags, notebooks, oh how hard it is to write ...... ! Generally all of the beautiful in all your inspiration, uniqueness of the work, virtually all of your work, you certainly will be happy to buy from you at the beautiful artwork:)))

  13. Hello dear friend- what a gorgeous and fabolous new journal, Suzy.
    It looks fantastic, and I love the soft muted colours, and all the wonderful layers, of fabric and lace-you have made a so beautiful journal again ,my dear wonderful artist and soul-mate.
    How is your foot/leg?Hope it is better.
    Hugs and love,Dorthe

  14. I saw your post on my blog review this am and had to rush over to see what all that lace was about. Be still my heart - the lace!!!! Then to scroll down and see another wonderful journal - oh my. I do so love to visit you Suzy - always inspiring. Thx.

  15. That is the most exquisite journal I've ever seen. It makes my heart sing and takes my breath away at the same time. It is very beautiful...I must keep an eye on it.

  16. Suzy, this is absolutely lovely...just "dripping" with elegance!

    Hugs, Diane

  17. Oh Suzy,
    This journal is soooo gorgeous--WOW!!! Your work is beyond description as it is just so totally inspired and exquisite.

    Thank you so much for your prayers and for letting people know about the seminar...I hope it helps lots
    of bloggers!!! You are one in a million!!

  18. Yet another exquisite piece, I absolutely adore your fabric books.

  19. You have a wonderful touch, Suzy, creating an elegant and cohesive piece from many different parts, and making it beautifully unique.

  20. Suzy, such a beautiful journal. I love it. The laces and fabrics are fabulous.
    Hugs, Jackie

  21. Somethings never change. And then, some things just get better and better. So it is with you Suzy. You just keep getting better all the time.

  22. Hi Suzy,
    If you get a chance, could you pop over to my blog?

  23. Hi dear Suzy,
    ooooh, I love it!!It is gorgeous and you do draw things together beautifully.Have a lovely Sunday.
    Hugs and love dear friend.

  24. Totally fabulous and inspirational! Thanks for sharing.

  25. Your work is amazingly beautiful1

  26. Hi Suzy,
    Oops, its been soo long~so wrapped up in my own life at the moment.

    Oh gosh, another gorgous creation made by you!
    I haven't written in the "Imagine" book yet, however I admire it everytime I walk pass where it sits in my family room.
    I'll pop over and visit Cindy now.
    Creative hugs,

  27. Your new journal is so beautiful Suzy - I love all the layers and details.

  28. OMG this is so very beautifull. Dear Suzy i'm totally speechless. Just looking at all the beautiful pictures.

    Love and hugs

  29. Suzy I am in love with that journal. I will be spending lots of time here tonight. lol Thank you for your sweet email. I have put your name in the hat for my giveaway. So nice to have you visit.

  30. Oh Suzy- I don't think that anyone can transform lace and make such exquisite treasures as you-----

    The lace and embellishments are beyond beautiful. I know you put so much love into the beautiful crafts that you create. This journal won't last any time once it goes to your sweet shop---
    Thank you for sharing your creations- I am always amazed---

  31. My second time to come to see this - have to keep looking at it and getting my awe on at your talent with lace. How I'd love to take a class with you!!

  32. Hi Suzy,
    If you have a chance, pop over to my blog--I wanted you to see something!!

  33. Oh Suzy - you've done it again - simply gorgeous! I have to confess something to you -

    I'm so happy that I can't gain weight looking at all your beautiful creations - they are such incredible eye candy and I'm sure if I could eat them I'd be in trouble!

  34. I'm always fascinated by your work. This fabric journal is incredible! You rock!

    Have a lovely week!
    Gaby xo

  35. Hi Suzy,
    I just popped over to say "hi" because I won't be on here for a few days except for work. Ralph's surgery is Friday. Sending love & hugs your way,

Thank you so very much for stopping here to say hello and to see what I have been creating. I really treasure each and everyone of you for your comments. It is so appreciated....Suzy

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Burj Khalifa

Burj Khalifa

Premier Groundscape for World’s Tallest Building

LocationDubai, United Arab Emirates
ClientEmaar Properties
Size11 hectares

Playing on the theme of “A Tower in a Park,” this shaded landscape creates a compelling oasis of green, with distinct areas to serve the tower’s hotel, residential, spa and corporate office areas. The visitor begins at the main arrival court at the base of the tower, where the “prow” of the building intersects a grand circular court—a “water room” defined by fountains, palms and park trees. From here, entry roads lead through the park-like landscape to separate hotel and residential arrival courts. Vehicular circulation spirals down to garage level, while flowering trees and seasonal plantings, fountains, and distinct paving patterns establish a strong sense of place for each court.

On the lake side, the Grand Terrace celebrates the scale and importance of the tower with a series of large reflecting pools that cascade from upper terraces to the lake itself. Comfortable walkways define the infinity-edge pools and invite a leisurely walk. More direct walkways lead to the same connections, offering a variety of pedestrian routes to the Khalifa mall, Island Park, residential towers and hotels, and promenades that border the entire edge of the lake.

These outdoor spaces create a front door to the tower, serving the various uses and reflecting the building’s unique forms. In particular, the plaza that encircles the tower expresses the key imagery of the hymenocallis, or spider lily, through an iterative pattern of banding including concentric and radiating arcs, criss-crossing lines, and a cool gray palette of granite to convey a feeling of comfort through the seasons. All site furnishings, from railings to benches and signs, incorporate the abstracted imagery of the spider lily and other patterns from nature, true to the historic traditions of Islamic architecture and design. Shade trees give comfort, and a rich plant palette of succulents, flowering trees, and other species suited to the area’s extreme temperatures create beauty, interest and character in the Tower Park landscape.

The region’s extreme climate offers unique opportunities for synergy between the tower and the surrounding landscape infrastructure. For instance, the hot and humid outside air, combined with the chilled water cooling system of the building, results in a significant amount of condensation. Every year, fifteen million gallons of condensed water will be collected, drained, and pumped into the site irrigation system for use within the Tower Park.

Work attributed to SWA/Balsley principal John Wong and his team with SWA Group.

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Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel

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Archive for the ‘guilt’ Tag

Come However You Are   Leave a comment

I have been thinking this week of our Savior’s capacity to absorb, absolve and take into himself all of our mess and shame and guilt.

There is no end to it.  No matter how much we are damaged by others, how much we are doubted by ourselves, it is all neutralized by God.  He meets the onslaught of our failures and it does not even slow him down.  This tidal wave of love is not repulsed by our refusal to believe that he covers it all.  He is not remotely disturbed by our disbelief in his mercy and compassion, the compassion that is for us, for you and for me personally.

Come with your regrets
Come with the things you can’t change
Come with all your fears
With all your shame, with everything
Come with the pieces of your bruised and broken heart
Don’t wait
Don’t wait

Whatever pain you’re dealing with
Let me offer this

Come however you are
Come with all your heartbreaks
Come with all the mistakes you’ve made
Lay them down at the cross
Give them to the God who loves you
Hurt, scared, falling apart
Come however you are

–City Harbor

Nothing can separate us from this love, neither life nor death nor the present nor the future.

Nor us, ourselves.

Posted November 15, 2015 by swanatbagend in identity, reflections

Tagged with , , ,


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Eternally Yours · Generation 4

Chapter 4.15

Pregnancy Progress: Finding out soon!
Next Doctor’s Appointment: Today!
Notes about Pregnancy: Still kinda freaked out that I’m growing a human inside me.

Finally it was time for my first official doctor appointment.  It was doubly exciting for Willow because she was going to have her anatomy ultrasound.  After finding out the sex of the baby, we’d get to go shopping for baby stuff.  The girls who got to stay back at Ridge would be waiting for the phone call so they could set up the “baby shower” for when we returned.

“You look nervous, dear.”  Miss Sylvia hit the nail on the head with that one.  “It can’t be helped, I know, but you’ve got to go.  You’ll be fine, sweetheart.”

Willow went first so that I could see how it was done.  While uncomfortable and awkward (for me at least), it was not as bad as I anticipated it would be.  Miss Sylvia was correct in her estimation of my due date.  I was due on June 15th.  It was only a short 5 months away.

While Willow basked in the joy of her baby boy, I was lost in my own thoughts.

Everything was progressing normally with my baby.  My baby.  I even heard a teeny, tiny but impressively strong heartbeat today.  There’s a little human growing inside me.  Before, I was thinking that adoption was my choice but now?  Now what?

After texting the girls back home, Willow broke into my thoughts when she called me to the van.  It was time to go shopping for baby boy stuff!  While exciting, I really just wanted to go home so I could think about what I wanted to do about this situation.

Since we only get to keep the money we earn through our work on the farm, we don’t have an overabundance of money in our private bank accounts.  Therefore, all the baby stuff comes from the resale shop.

It was a bit of a shock for Willow when she couldn’t get the name brand, top-of-the-line baby stuff she wanted.  She eventually worked it out and got some good stuff.  I told her I’d help her paint furniture if it wasn’t the exact right color.

When we got back to Ridge Hall, the girls had set up a pretty fantastic baby shower!  We had balloons, party favors, blue candy apples, and they even managed to print out a large photo of Willow’s son!

Once we played all the party games and cooed over the baby, Miss Sylvia even let us off kitchen duty and ordered us pizza instead.

“What do you all think of the name Noah Zachary Flynn?”  Willow asked in between bites of pizza.

“Is that the name you picked or is it an idea?” Sonia wanted to know.

“Does it matter?”

“Well, kinda,” Victoria chimed, “if you already picked it, then it’s totally great!”

We all left it at that and then went on to do our free time activities.  Sonia wandered off to IM her boyfriend.  Willow went to practice her fashion design.  I could hear Victoria on piano.  I was upstairs thinking about the future.

It was so much easier when it was a baby.  After hearing the heartbeat coming from my belly today it became my baby.  Could I really keep it?  Am I capable of raising a child?  I plotted out a timeline.

If my baby arrives in June, I’d be able to graduate when I returned to Winchester.  I could enroll at Winchester Community College for the summer session.  I’d need to focus my studies on art and not medicine, if I did so, then I could graduate in just two semesters with my art degree.  I don’t know what I’d be able to do with an art degree but I’d be able to support myself and a baby sooner rather than later.

It could work…

With my future decided, I went down into the art room and attempted to learn to paint.

6 thoughts on “Chapter 4.15

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Santa, Sleigh & Reindeer Standing Mould

Stand 15.2 cm x 5.1 cm x 0.6 cm.

Santa 6.4 cm x 7 cm x 0.6 cm.

Sleigh 6.4 cm x 4.4 cm x 0.6 cm.

Reindeer 5.1 cm x 3.8 cm x 0.6 cm.

5 cavities per mould.

This mould makes approximately 30 pieces per 500 g of chocolate.

This mould is not used for candy centres.

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Boost Your Mortgage IQ With National Bank of Commerce

By swimcreative

It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you’re in the market for a home. Where to buy, what to buy, how much to spend—these are not small decisions. But when it comes to getting a mortgage, National Bank of Commerce makes at least this one aspect of home-buying as easy as possible.

This campaign took that idea, and brought the same ease and comfort you have when working with NBC to the digital space.

With the guidance from NBC Mortgage bankers, we created shareable content that simplified the home-buying process and offered helpful tips for potential buyers. We used Google Display and Search Ads, and promoted Facebook content to direct traffic to the NBC Mortgage site, where our audience could learn more about the process or make an appointment with a mortgage banker. We also created print ads to drive traffic to the site.

In the first week, the first Facebook post earned 13 shares, 60 likes and garnered a 15% increase in page likes.

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Versatile Izzy Harder Makes Verbal Commitment to Illinois State Redbirds

Fitter and Faster Swim Clinics is the proud sponsor of SwimSwam’s College Recruiting Channel and all commitment news. For many, swimming in college is a lifelong dream that is pursued with dedication and determination. Fitter and Faster is proud to honor these athletes and those who supported them on their journey.

Naperville, Illinois’s Izzy Harder has verbally committed to Illinois State University for 2020-21. She will join class of 2024 commits Cassidy Carey, Dee Dee Walker, Mikayla Jasek, and Olivia Gonder in new head coach Caitlin Hamilton’s first recruiting class.

“I’m so excited to announce my verbal commitment to continue my athletic and academic career at Illinois State University. Special thanks to my family, coaches, teachers, and friends who have help me get to where I am now. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you! #goredbirds”

Harder is a senior at Neuqua Valley High School; she swims year-round for Fox Valley Swim Team. In high school swimming last fall, she competed in the 200 free and 500 free at the Illinois High School State Championships. Her best 500 free comes from last high school season but she earned her 50/200/1000 free times at Illinois Swimming Senior Short Course Championships in February. There, she placed 11th in the 1000 free and 12th in the 200. This summer, she finished long-course season with PBs in the 100/200/400 free at Sectionals and in the 50 free and 100 fly at NCSA Summer Championship.

Illinois State finished fifth of eight teams at the 2019 MVC Championships. Harder would have been among the Redbirds’ top 5 for the season in the 200 free, 500 free, 1000 free, 200 fly, 200 IM, and 400 IM. She would have scored at conference in the A final of the 200 free, the B final of the 500 free and 400 IM, and the C finals of the 100/200 fly and 200 IM.

Top SCY times:

  • 200 free – 1:53.08
  • 500 free – 5:06.79
  • 1000 free – 10:29.33
  • 100 fly – 58.28
  • 200 fly – 2:11.27
  • 200 back – 2:10.11
  • 200 IM – 2:11.59
  • 400 IM – 4:41.24

If you have a commitment to report, please send an email with a photo (landscape, or horizontal, looks best) and a quote to [email protected].

About the Fitter and Faster Swim Tour

The Fitter & Faster Swim Tour produces swim clinics featuring elite stars of the sport and the most innovative teaching platforms. FFT Swim Clinics can be customized to meet age and skill level of every team and community. Call 786-837-6880 or visit to learn more.

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FFT is a SwimSwam partner.

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Congrats Izzy.

Randy darsh

How do the ILLINI keep missing out on instate talent?

They actually recruited a ton this year from Illinois, Salafatinos, Kale, Licari, Lynch, Gile and 2 divers… this swimmer also stayed in state…

Some swimmers don’t want to finish 13th in a 10 team conference and swim for a team worse than their club team

About Anne Lepesant

Anne Lepesant

Anne Lepesant is the mother of four daughters, all of whom swim/swam in college. With an undergraduate degree from Princeton (where she was an all-Ivy tennis player) and an MBA from INSEAD, she worked for many years in the financial industry, both in France and the U.S. Anne is currently …

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Glory Potion Enamel Pin
Glory Potion Enamel Pin

Glory Potion Enamel Pin

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The inspiration behind this pin is a quote from The Potions Master, Severus Snape. "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death." Complete the set by purchasing the "Fame," "Death," and "Potion Books" pins as well!

- 1.25 inches in height
- Hard enamel
- Features 2 black rubber back clasps
- Features a 3D "Swish & Flick" logo back stamp
- Comes in a poly bag on a cute backing card

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Posts Tagged ‘cffr

Christian Fly Fishing Roundup; Oregon (May 14-16, 2010)

Marc Williamson of Oregon & CFFR

I recently ran into Marc Williamson at the Fly Tying Expo in Albany, Oregon. He suggested I highlight an event very special to him and many other fly fishers….the Christian Fly Fishing Roundup. The event has been held, with great success at Camp Morrow on Pine Hollow Reservoir in Central Oregon.

This years guest speaker will be Professor Emeritus Gary Fawver. “Since 1978 have visited or worked in Christian camps in Costa Rica, Honduras, Mexico, Guatemala, Philippines, New Zealand, Australia, Germany, Zimbabwe, China, Russia, Siberia, Ukraine, and Latvia.”

The CFFR is an opportunity for Christian fellowship and to learn all facets of fly fishing. And, a plus, there is an opportunity for large fish and great memories. Check out the link and if this is something that resonates sign up. If you have gone before, you will no doubt be headed there once again.

Christian Fly Fishing Roundup ~ Camp Morrow, Oregon (Gary Borger to appear

Gary Borger

Gary Borger

The annual CFFR retreat will be held May 15 to May 17, 2009 on Pinehollow Reservoir at Camp Morrow. This year keynote speaker will be renowned Gary Borger. The retreat is a low key effort to combine spiritual discussions that are meaningful to everyday life, fly fishing and a relaxed environment. If you have any questions, I have posted the link. I ran into Marc Williamson at the Portland Sportsman’s Show and he said people wait until the last moment…he suggested those considering retreat sign up early. This would also be a good opportunity to not only learn about meaningful day to day living but also to learn about stillwater fishing. I am sure if you don’t have the necessary gear that participants would have you set up in no time.  http://cffr.info/index.htm

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Yorkshire Dance
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Deir Soubat – Al Bara Project

The collection and re-use of the collapsed stone in the Ancient Villages of Northern Syria, also known as the Dead Cities are group of archaeological sites and monuments located in northwestern Syria, in the Idlib region.

The Hekayya Project

Is a heritage preservation initiative that focuses on the participation and the empowerment of the local communities living in neighboring villages.

Beit Nana Project

Beit Nana (the house of grandmother) is of a great significance for Arabs in general, and for Syrians in specific.

The Idlib Museum Project

The work at the Idlib Museum began in April 2018 and it will continue until October 2018. The objectives of this project are to protect and preserve the remaining artifacts, and to rehabilitate the museum storage.

The Mosaic Workshop Project

The Mosaic raise awareness workshops In Berlin for the Syrian and German community.

The Portable Cinema & Library

A portable cinema and books distribution to children, has been set up by a SIMAT team at refugee camps along the Turkish border in northwest Syria.

Calendar & Events

May 2020

The current projects

Protection and emergency intervention

  • Documentation, protection and Preservation of artifacts in the Idlib Museum

The completed projects

Documentation of the sites destruction and deterioration damage assessment

  • Documenting damage to the site of  Cyrrhus  –  Afrin area
  • Documenting damage to the Monastery of Saint Simon – Lime Massif
  • Documenting damage to the archaeological sites at Al-Wastani Mountain – Lime Massif

Protection and emergency intervention

  • Emergency intervention to protect and preserve damaged structures at the Ancient Villages of the Dead Cities – The Idlib region
  • Capacity-building in the preservation of cultural heritage project

Sharing the responsibility of preserving heritage with the local communities

  • The Hekayya project
  • Beit Nana project
  • The Mosaic Workshop project
  • The Portable Cinema and Library project

How do we work!


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Baby Making Advice

A good friend of mine, who’s a few months older than me, got married a few months ago and she had mentioned that her sister and husband were, not so much pressuring but starting to ask when baby time begins. Her sister pulled the old “You’re not getting any younger” line and her husband wants a timeline. She said she’s not ready yet, though. She wants to get out of debt first and get their lives sorted out.

I think she was looking to me be an ally and since I’m in full support of people not having babies before me, I was more than happy to tell her just how much time she has to make a family.

“Don’t worry about it” I said. “Women are having babies older and older, you have loads of time.”

We joked around a bit about being pregnant in our 50’s and then I started to feel guilty. Was I being a good friend? Knowing what I know about trying to get pregnant? I decided to be real with her.

I told her that there’s absolutely no reason to think that she would struggle. She has regular periods and her husband is younger than her and I’m sure he’s and healthy (I believe. I haven’t met him yet). There’s also no history of infertility in her family from what I can tell. BUT…

I said that Infertility doesn’t give a shit about you and your plans so if you’re able, it’s a good idea to get ahead of it if you can. You’ll never regret being prepared.

I gave her this list of things she can do while she’s trying to get out of debt. A list of things no one told me before we started trying.

  1. Get tested. Nothing crazy like genetic testing. But you can do all the prelim testing through your OBGYN. Egg reserve, prolactin, thryoid, STD’s, etc. They might not test everything if you’re at the beginning stages but it’s a good idea to have a conversation with your OB anyway.
  2. Have your husband do a semen analysis. Sometimes a tough sell but if her husband was eager to start then he should be okay with this.
  3. Start making little dietary changes. The earlier you start the better. Less sugar, less shitty carbs, less alcohol is always a good place to start. But remember that you can be the healthiest person in the world and still be infertile because infertility doesn’t give a shit about you and your health, so no need to go nuts.
  4. Starting temping and tracking and getting to understand your body and your cycles. This one is a bit labor intensive but I think it’s worthwhile to start sooner rather than later so you can likely pinpoint when (if at all) you ovulate.
  5. Have fun and try not to stress. The beginning part of TTC is exciting and fun. There’s no reason to start panicking if you’re on month 3 and not pregnant yet. It’s very difficult to get pregnant if you think of the success rate of natural conception (something like 20-25% in your late 30s), but that being said…
  6. At our age, 6 months in with no success warrants a visit to an OBGYN. That’s when most will start taking you seriously anyway.
  7. Start taking ubiquinol and a prenatal with folate.
  8. Remember your partner and your relationship and remember to love one another. Otherwise what’s the point right?

I think it’s difficult to find balance in TTC. Some days are going to be shit and some days are going to great. All we can do is weather the storms and bask in the sunlight.

And I let her know that no matter what, I’ll always be there for her whether she gets pregnant just by being looked at or whether she has to work a little harder.

11 thoughts on “Baby Making Advice

  1. How old is your friend? I personally think doing all of those things would be a bit overkill. I mean honestly, I didn’t take any special vitamins or meds the entire time we were TTC, just a prenatal with DHA along with all of our Dr ordered meds, oh and Vitamin D3 because I was deficient. I also didn’t make any dietary changes at all. Getting to know her body is a good idea though, it might make it easier when she is ready to start trying to know when she’s ovulating. I hope people don’t start to pressure them, because that’s just annoying. And hopefully they don’t have any trouble when the time comes that they’re ready. Congrats on her new marriage!

  2. Wow! Her sister sounds like a cow for saying all those things! Your advice is very good though, especially as maybe all of it won’t sink in at first. You are a good friend to keep it real.

  3. Great advice! iat least the charting. Sometimes just taking a look at CM is all you need
    Do! I hope she gets pregnant whenever she wants in a snap, and carries the baby alive to term. We all know getting pregnant and having a healthy baby in your arms are entirely different.

  4. There’s a book called “before you’re pregnancy” that I bought when we were first TTC. It covers everything to do beginning 3 months before trying. I recommend it if you want to pass on the recommendation to your friend. For people like us, it’s all obvious stuff, but when I first read it it seemed very in depth at that time 🙂

  5. Great advice! We should all take our gyno health seriously and it never hurts to get checked out, ttc or not. I hope your friend has no issues getting pregnant and carries to term easily.

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Harrowbarrow and Metherell Agricultural Society (HaMAS)

We grow Vegetables!

Harrowbarrow and Metherell Agricultural society was formed in 2009 and is based upon the community supported agriculture model which means we grow a lot of vegetables together in a communally supportive and sustainable way.

We cultivate a small area of land belonging to local farmer James Tancock. Our aim is to grow as many different types of good quality, fresh produce as cheaply as possible. We know where our food has come from, it can be on your plate within a few minutes of picking and you can keep fit in the process!

For more information Click here to e-mail HaMAS >>


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Enterprises using Tanzu to build, manage, and run their cloud native apps leverage Twistlock to provide security for their applications. Twistlock ensures that application or container artifacts deployed to Tanzu Application Service (TAS) are implementing compliance policies and are free of vulnerabilities Deployments on VMware PKS benefit from full runtime defense and cloud native firewalling.

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Twistlock is easily deployed with Tanzu to identify and block vulnerabilities in applications, container artifacts, and Blobstores. DevOps teams can integrate Twistlock directly into any CI/CD process to provide automated visibility into all your standard workflows. Advanced threat intelligence and machine learning capabilities deliver automated policy creation, runtime protection, and firewalling. As soon as code is built and deployed, Twistlock automatically acts based on your compliance state.

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The Twistlock Intelligence Stream sources and aggregates vulnerability information directly from 30+ upstream projects, commercial sources, and proprietary research from Twistlock Labs. Twistlock has the most complete data to support all your application frameworks like Java, Ruby, Python, and Node.js for both Windows and Linux container artifacts and images. From CI/CD, to SIEM, to access control and secrets management, Twistlock integrates with the tools your developers and security teams already use.

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From network and application firewalls, to container runtime defense, to host protection, Twistlock defends your applications running on PKS against attacks and anomalous behavior. Twistlock runs natively on PKS to provide automatically-created runtime defense for every pod along with microservices-aware layer 3 and layer 7 firewalls.

Twistlock Overview

Twistlock is a cloud native cybersecurity platform for modern applications. From precise, actionable vulnerability management to automatically-deployed runtime protection and firewalls, Twistlock protects applications across the development lifecycle and into production. Purpose-built for containers, serverless, and other leading technologies—Twistlock gives developers the speed they want, and CISOs the controls they need.

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“Many Twistlock customers trust Tanzu as the backbone of their application modernization efforts. With Twistlock's Tanzu integration, our customers now have the automation, efficiency and effectiveness of cloud native cybersecurity at their fingertips for TAS and PKS workloads.”

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Twistlock supports any environment, including both Tanzu Application Service (TAS) and VMware PKS on Tanzu. Built for the world’s enterprises -- Twistlock is engineered to automatically scale up and down as your environment and applications do. For TAS on Tanzu, the platform supports scanning applications and container artifacts during the CI process and continuously monitoring them in Blobstores. Twistlock includes the following as part of our standard architecture.

Twistlock Console serves as the user interface within Twistlock. The graphical user interface (GUI) lets you define policy, configure and control your Twistlock deployment, and view the overall health (from a security perspective) of your container environment

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Taylor Swift decided to pull all of her albums from Spotify this week, and now it looks like Jason Aldean may be taking her cue.

Swift's new album, '1989,' sold more than 1.2 million in the first week of release, making her the first artist in the history of SoundScan to sell more than a million in opening week three different times. Choosing not offer the tracks for individual streaming was part of the marketing plan to get to that number.

“If I had streamed the new album, it’s impossible to try to speculate what would have happened. But all I can say is that music is changing so quickly, and the landscape of the music industry itself is changing so quickly, that everything new, like Spotify, all feels to me a bit like a grand experiment,” Swift says. “And I’m not wiling to contribute my life’s work to an experiment that I don’t feel fairly compensates the writers, producers, artists and creators of this music. And I just don’t agree with perpetuating the perception that music has no value and should be free.”

According to Nashville's Tennessean newspaper, Aldean's latest album, 'Old Boots, New Dirt,' is expected to be removed from Spotify, where it set a new record for best-ever debut week for a country album with more than 3.04 million streams. The album also sold well, opening at No. 1 despite being available for streaming, but according to Aldean's label, it will no longer be available at Spotify. However, the rest of his catalog will remain for now.

Swift and Aldean are just two of the many artists who are struggling with how to navigate the impact of streaming services, which have grown more than 50 percent in the last year, while physical sales and paid downloads have continued to plummet.

Some advocates for services like Spotify view streaming as a way to make up for lost revenue from declining sales. Spotify offers consumers the choice to stream music for free with commercials, or pay five or ten dollars per month to avoid commercials and access special features. The service pays between 0.006 cents and 0.0084 cents for each stream, which critics have decried as far too low.

Still, Thirty Tigers President David Macias tells the Tennessean that if enough consumers subscribed to the service, it would balance out the revenue, pointing out the advantages of having almost any song available at any time without taking up room on consumers' phones or devices.

"It's a pretty great deal, and if this became the way that music was accessed by the majority of the consumers, then it's an economically viable way to do business. At 40 million U.S. subscribers, [Spotify] then would be generating $4.8 billion a year, and that still leaves a lot of consumers who want to consume under the acquisition model," he states. "It's also a better option than piracy."

Jon Loba, executive vice president of Aldaen's label, BBR Music Group, points out that the principal sales for a new project are in the initial weeks and months after it drops, and aligns himself with those who say the royalties from streaming aren't enough to compensate for the lost revenue from traditional sales when a new project is first released.

"There is a premium for 'brand new' -- movies, cars, clothes, everything else," Loba tells the Tennessean. "Why we devalue music, I don't know. I understand five years down the road -- potentially -- there will be enough streaming revenue to balance it out. In the meantime, how much revenue are we giving away?"

Did Jason Aldean Really Call His New Album 'Baby Making Music'?


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Religious Periods of Life of Mirza Ghulam Qadiani
(In light of his own Writings)
1.Just an average Sunni Muslim
2.Superior to the Great Muslims
3.A Disciple Prophet
4.The Promised Mehdi
5.The Promised Messiah
6.Reincarnation of Muhammad
? 7.An Apostate and New Prophet
8.The Lord of Hindus
? 9.Incarnation of All Prophets
10.The Son of God
11.The Christian God
12.God Like

Just an average Sunni Muslim
In his childhood and youth Mirza Ghulam Qadiani was taught the principles of the Sunni School of thought. ?Mirza Ghulam's writings during this period adhered to the authentic Islamic teachings. Particularly he believed in the Finality of Prophethood and the role of Jesus(pbuh) as the promised Messiah. ?The writings of this period are the ones that the Qadianis put forth in trying to claim that Mirza Ghulam Qadiani was a Muslim and did not deviate from Islam.

Here are some of his writings from this period:

  • "The Quran does not sanction the advent of any prophet after the arrival of the Prophet Muhammad(SAW) whether he is a new one or old one. ?All the knowledge that a prophet possesses is taught by the angel Gabriel and the door of Gabriel's descent to impact the revelations of prophethood is closed for ever. ?How can a prophet come now without having access to the revelations of prophethood."
    (Izalat-ul-Auham Page 761)

  • "I consider that man who rejects the doctrine of Last Prophetship is a disbeliever and outside the pale of Islam."
    (Tableegh-i-Risalat Vol 2 Page 44 -
    Also read out in Congression of Jama Masjid Dehli Oct. 23 1891)

  • "I believe in all the items of faith as prescribed by the Sunni School of Islam and I accept everything that is according to the Quran and Hadith. ?I fully subscribe to the doctrine that Muhammad is the last of all Prophets and that any claimant to Prophethood after him is an impostor and a Kafir. ?It is my belief that the revelations of Prophethood started with Adam and closed with the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)".
    (Majmuha-Estaharet P. 230-231; Tabligh-i-Risalat Vol 2 Page 20 -
    Also appeared in a Qadiani poster dated Oct 2 1891; 20 Shaaban 1313 A.H.)

It is unfortunate that someone with such standard Islamic beliefs in a few short years turned away from the fold of Islam and claimed to be a prophet of Allah(SWT) who was receiving divine revelations.

Superior to the Great Muslims
During this phase of his life Mirza Ghulam Qadiani claimed to be superior to the Companions and descendants of the Prophet(SAW). ?When he fell short and was not able to support his lofty claims he resorted to attacking the character of these great individuals.

Here are some of his writings from this period:

  • "Now leave your quarrels regarding the old Khilafat. ?A living Ali is among you. ?Why should you look for a dead Ali?" ?(Al-Hakam Vol. 4 Nov 10 1900)
  • "They accuse me of having placed myself above Hasan and Husain. ?I tell them again that it is really so and that God will prove it very soon."
  • "Hundreds of Husains I have in my collar." (Al-Hukum Jun 16 1904)
  • "It is a pity that people do not see that the Quran has not given Husain even a sonship. ?It has not even mentioned his name. ?Even Zaid is better than Husain for his name is mentioned in the Quran".
    (Nazul-i-Masiah Page 45)

A Disciple Prophet
At this phase Mirza Ghulam Qadiani commenced planting the seed of his Kufr by claiming to be in communication with God and a "partial prophet".

Here are some of his writings from this period:

  • "There is no doubt that this humble self has come to this Ummah as a Muhaddis (one who speaks to God) who in other sense is likely a prophet though not a full fledged prophet nevertheless he is a partial prophet and one who rejects him incurs the chastisement of hell to certain extent."
    (Touzeh-ul-Maram Page 18)
  • "At first I thought I had no similarities with Christ who was a prophet and one of the most favorites of God and if there were any signs of the grace of God manifested in my favor I used to consider them as a token of partial favor; but later on God's revelations began to pour upon me like rain and this brought a change in my beliefs and I was given the appellation of prophet but it was a prophet in one sense and disciple prophet in another sense."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 149-150)

Obviously Mirza Ghulam Qadiani was in total dark regarding the Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad(SAW) dealing with the Finality of Prophethood. ?Specifically he must have not known the following two authentic Hadith at the time he made such claims:

You (Hazrat Ali) are related to me as Aaron was related to Moses(pbuh). But no Apostle will come after me.
(Bukhari Muslim
Musnad recorded a similar hadith ending in 'Behold there is no prophethood after me.')

If ever there arose a person from among my people who would hold communion with God it would be none else but 'Umar bin Khattab.
(Bukhari Muslim Tirmidhi)

We do know that neither Hazrat Ali nor Hazrat Umar(RAs) ever claimed to be a prophet or in communication with Allah(SWT); this would mean that Prophet Muhammad(SAW) himself foresaw the advent of impostors like Mirza Ghulam Qadiani and warned us not to accept their claims. Incidently the claims of this false "prophet" are no different than those of recent impostors: David Koresh Jim Jones and Charles Manson.

The Promised Mehdi
The next logical step for Mirza was to raise himself to become the Promised Mehdi. ?Since he was counting on the ignorance of masses he was not worried about the fact that he did not fulfill any of Islamic prophecies regarding Mehdi.

Here are some of his writings from this period:

  • "Mirza Sahib also claimed to be the promised Mehdi not the Mehdi who was engaged himself in conquest and bloodshed but the reasoning Mehdi who would vanquish his opponents by arguments. ?He called himself Promised Mehdi and superior to numerous prophets."
    (Me'ar-ul-Akhyar Page 11)

Obviously Mirza Ghulam was unsuccessful to even vanquish his opponents by argument and discussion. He was rebuffed and ridiculed easily by both Muslim and Christian Scholars alike. His only accomplishment was to show that he could find some simple minded individuals who would follow his false claims.

The Promised Messiah
Not quite happy at being just Mehdi Mirza Ghulam Qadiani decided to give himself a quiet promotion by declaring himself to be the Messiah foretold by all religions of the world! ?Once more since the naive and impressionable villagers he was initially dealing with were uninformed of the prophecies regarding the Messiah he was not concerned with being exposed.

To explain the fact that he -- unlike the foretold Messiah -- did not descend from the heavens in the company of angels he invented a fairy-tale regarding Jesus Christ(pbuh): ?in this tale Jesus(pbuh) is crucified but does not die nor is raised to God to fulfill his future mission as the promised Messiah. ?Instead he recovers from his injuries and escapes to Kashmir (India) where he lives for eighty six more years does not preach Islam and does not leave any traces of his living there!

Here are some of his writings from this period:

  • "So you are blessed. ?The Messiah has come to you. ?God the Powerful has placed His hand on him and bestowed His eloquent speech upon him.... You are blessed. ?The Mehdi of the time had come to you with abundant riches and endless wealth.... ?You people I am the Messiah of Muhammad's line and I am Ahmad al-Mahdi."
    (Khutba Ilhamia Page 60 61 98)
  • "Give up all mention of the Son of Mary: Ghulam Ahmad is far greater."
    (Dafi-ul-Bala" Page 20)
  • "It is my claim that I am that Christ about whom all the sacred scriptures have prophecied that his advent will take place in the last days of the world."
    (Tuhfa-i-Gooladia Page 195i)
  • "I swear by That God who controls my life that He sent me and He had named me a prophet and He has called me the Promised Christ and has established my claims with great signs that number above three lakhs. [3 million miracles!]"
    (Tatimma-i-Haqiqat-ul-Qahi Page 68)

It is indeed a loss to humanity that no one witnessed even one of the 3 million miracles Mirza Ghulam Qadiani insisted that he performed! ?Either his mission as the "Promised Messiah" was a total failure (since he only caused hatred among Muslims Christians and Hindus and did not bring unificaion of the mankind) or he was an impostor. ?Since the promise of Allah(SWT) regarding the Messiah can never fail we stand by the opinion that Mirza Ghulam Qadiani was an impostor.

Reincarnation of Muhammad(SAW)
As a Muslim Mirza Ghulam Qadiani knew too well that the advent of a new prophet is impossible. ?However dealing with people who did not understand the original Arabic text and were unaware of the extensive body of Hadith clearly opposing any form of prophethood Mirza Ghulam resorted to deceptive translation of the Holy Quran to claim to be a superior reincarnation of the prophet Muhammad(SAW)!

Here are some of his writings from this period:

  • "I am that same prophet the very Incarnation of the "Seal of Prophets" and twenty years back in the Book Baraheen-i-Ahmadiah I was called by God by the names of Muhammad and Ahmad and was declared by God Himself to be the very prophet in fresh and blood."
    (Eik Ghalati-ka-Izala Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "Muhammad has again come among us. ?His new position is an improvement on his earlier visitation. ?If any man wishes to see Muhammad akmal (more competent) then he should see Ghulam Ahmad in Qadian."
    (Al-Badr Oct 5 1906; Written by a poet and published by Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "It is a fact that Muhammad(pbuh) worked only three thousand miracles... ?My Miracles exceed one million in numbers."
    (Ijaze-e-Ahmadi Page 79; Tadhkira tul Shahadatain Page 41)
  • "It is possible for a man to attain a spiritual position higher than any other man; if any man wishes he can rise even above Muhammad(pbuh)."
    (Daily Al-Fadl Jul 17. 1992 Mirza Basheer al-Din Mahmud Qadiani)
  • "As for him (Muhammad) the moon was eclipsed but for me two bright moons have eclipsed (solar eclipse). ?How dare you deny it? ?If his Kalam (words) were a miracle a sign my Kalam is also a miracle."
    (Ijaze-e-Ahmadi Page 79)
  • "This verse 'He is the Messenger of God and the seal of Prophets' contains a secret allusion to prophecy and that is that the coming of prophets is sealed for ever and except for the prophet incarnate who is no other than the prophet himself will have the faculty of receiving revelations from God openly like the prophets of old. ?Since I was destined to be the Prophet that was to come I was destined to be the Prophet that was to come I was made the prophet Incarnate."
    (Eik Ghalati-ka-Izala Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)

How fortunate for Mirza Ghulam Qadiani to have been the person to discover this "secret allusion" and try to use this "allusion" to misguide uninformed people!

An Apostate and New Prophet
By now everyone should have noticed the pattern of Mirza Ghulam Qadiani. ?He was indeed a person with an ego that needed continuous feeding and boosting. ?He had elevated himself to be better than Prophet Muhammad(SAW) whom we are told was the greatest man to ever live. Yet he was not happy! ?He was still partially bound by the Quran and Hadith of the Prophet(SAW) and to break free he needed to attain full prophethood!

Here are some of his writings from this period:

  • "The true God is He who sent His messenger to Qadiani."
    (Dafi-ul-Bala Page 11)
  • "How can I discard God's revelations which has been coming to me for the last twenty-three years. ?I believe in this sacred revelation as I believe in the revelations before me."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 15)
  • "We claim to be Rasul (Messenger)?and Nabi (Prophet)."
    (Al-Badr March 5 1908 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "I have been given what no other man in the universe has been given."
    (Tadhkira Page 658)
  • "Lo! ?We have sent unto you a messsenger as witness among you as we once sent a messenger unto Pharaoh."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 101)
  • "Fear not. ?Lo! The messengers fear not in my presence."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 91)
  • "I swear by God in whose hand lies my existence and say that it is He who has reputed me and called me a prophet and the Messiah."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Appendix Page 68 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "He (Mirza Ghulam) is a prophet of God and the like of every prophet."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 79 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "I am the only person selected from amongst the adherents of Islam for the reception of the revelations and knowledge of the unseen. ?As no other Saint of this community has had a so big a share the title of Nabi has fallen to my lot alone."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 391 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "We sent you (Mirza Ghulam) indeed as our mercy to the worlds."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 82 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "I (God) shall stand by this (Mirza Ghulam) prophet."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 87 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "We have given thee abundance."
    (Anjam Atham Page 58; Tadhkira Page 652)

Muslims should recognize the last three claims to be plagiaries of the verses of the Holy Quran. Mirza Ghulam Qadiani shamelessly quoted verses revealed some 1300 years earlier as new revelation made to him! This like the rest of his claims was a forgery.
[Read: A Proof of the Finality of Prophethood]

The Lord of Hindus
Since Mirza Ghulam Qadiani lived in India it was an astute and calculated move on his part to reach out to the Hindus of the society by calling himself the Hindu Lord Korishna. ?This also amounted to a promotion since a Lord is better than a simple Prophet!

Here is his claim from this period:

  • "Just as the Aryan people are awaiting the coming of Shri Krishna. ?I am the same Krishna and this claim is not only mine but God repeatedly revealed to me that I am the same Krishna the King of the Aryans to come in the last days of the World."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 45 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)

Incarnation of All Prophets
Mirza Ghulam had claimed to be a prophet however his character was incompatable with that of all prior Prophets(pbut) and he was not capable of performing miracles. ?We have already seen hints of his attempt at boosting his claim by making false accusations against prior Prophets(pbut); at this stages he tries to make himself the beneficiary of all the good characters of all the Prophets.

Here is his claim from this period:

  • "Whatever was given individually to each prophet has been collectively given to me."
    (Nuzul-e-Masih Page 99)
  • "One into whom God entered is in the garb of the prophets."
    (Anjam Atham Page 53)
  • "I am the Messiah of the time and I am Moses on whom God conferred His speech. ?I am Muhammad and Ahmad the selected one."
    (Taryaq-ul-Qulub Page 3)
  • "My Lord has established the likeness between Adam and myself: Allah made me Adam and gave me all that was given to the Father of mankind."
    (Khutba-e-Ilhamia Page 253-254)
  • "There was no prophet whose name was not given to me as I was told in the "Baraheen Ahmadiah that I am Adam I am Noah I am Issac I am Jacob I am Ismail I am Moses I am Abraham I am Jesus and I am Muhammad. ?In the capacity of a prophet Incarnate."
    (Tatimma-Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 84 Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)

The Son of God
You will be surprised to see how far Mirza was willing to take his claims! ?We allow his own writings alleged by him to be revelations from God to speak for themselves:

  • "You are unto me as my son."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 86; Tadhkira Page 526 642)
  • "Listen to Me My Son"
    (Al-Bushra Vol 1 Page 49)
  • "God has preferred you above everything else."
    (Tadhkira Page 469 579 638)
  • "You are from me and I am from you: your appearance is my appearance."
    (Tadhkira Page 650 700)
  • "If thou hadst not been I (God) would not have created the heavens."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 85; Istifta Page 604 649)
  • "You are from our water and they are from dust."
    (Anjam-e-Atham Page 55; Tadhkira Page 204)
  • "The Heavens and the earth are with you as they are with Me."
    (Anjam-e-Atham Page 52; Tadhkira Page 65 (2nd Edition))
  • "Listen to Me My son; Thou art from My water and they (other people) from dust..."
    "Christ and I (Mirza Ghulam) are in a position wherein we can be metaphorically termed as sons of God."
    (Dafi-ul-Bala Page 6; Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 86; Arbain Page 34 by Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "Thou art as a son to Me; Thou art like My children; Thou art as dear to Me as My Unity."
    (Tauhid and Tafrid by Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
  • "I have dismounted the heavens for thee and for thy sake I shall manifest My signs."
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 94)

We only need answer this by the following Surah of the Holy Quran:

Say: He is Allah the One and Only;
Allah the Eternal Absolute;
He begetteth not nor is He begotten;
And there is none like unto Him.

(The Holy Quran Al-Ikhlas 112)

The Christian God
Apparently the wealth (Zakat) he had hoarded over the years and the prestige of being compared with all the Prophets(pbut)?had blinded Mirza to authentic Islamic teachings. ?His disbelief grew even more as shown in the following passages of his later writings:

  • "Prophet Daniel has termed me as Michael in his book; and in Hebrew Michael literally means 'one like God'".
    (Arbain No. 3 Page 25 By Mirza Ghulam Qadiani)
    (Roohany Khazaen Vol. 17 Page 413)
  • '"God Holy ghost and son when combined constitute the Holy Trinity ". ?Mirza Ghulam Ahmad represents God as riding a dromedary likens Him to a Tendwa (octopus) and call Holy Ghost as female and God as male. ?He talks of God as descending the heavens praising Mirza Ghulam Ahmad from His Throne sending peace on and praying for him. ?He describes Him as sleeping walking and performing good and bad actions and glorifying the name of Mirza Ghulam Ahmad.'
    (Haqiqat-ul-Wahi Page 78 and 103; Izala-i-Auham Page 67; Tauzih-ul-Maraam page 21)

May Allah(SWT) have mercy on us for reproducing theses blasphemous teachings of Mirza Ghulam Qadiani.

God Like
May Allah(SWT) have mercy on us for reproducing these authentic writings of Mirza Ghulam Qadiani. We allow his own writings alleged to be divine revelation speak for itself:

  • "I am given the power to cause death and to give life from the Lord the all-Powerful."
    (Khutba Ilhamia Page 55-56)
  • "Such is your command: that when you intend a things you say 'Be' and it exists."
    (Haqiqatul Wahi Page 105; Tadhkira Page 525 656 826)
  • "Oh Ahmad your name will be completed but My name will not be completed."
    (Anjam-e-Atham Page 52; Tadhkira Page 51)
  • "Allah praises you in the heavens. ?He praises you and comes unto you."
    (Anjam-e-Atham Page 55-56; Tadhkira Page 276 (2nd Edition))
  • "The God of Muhammad manifested Himself to Ahmad of Qadian and He in the form of Ghulam Ahmad radiated His light."
    (Al-Hakam No. 5)
  • "You are unto me as my Oneness and my Soleness."
    (Anjam-e-Atham Page 51; Tadhkira Page 66 304)
  • "I dreamt that I was Allah and I believed that I was really he."
    (Aina-i-Kamalat Page 564)
  • "God stands where you (Mirza Ghulam) stand."
    (Al-Bushra Vol 2 Page 24)
  • "I saw that I was God and believed that I was He and in that condition I was saying 'We intend to create a new system and a new heaven and earth.' ?Then I said 'We decorated the Lower heaven with Lights; and added We shall create men out of the extract of earth'."
    (Kitab-ul-Bariya Page 78; Aina-i-Kamalat Page 564)

May Allah(SWT) guide all sincere individuals to the right path of Islam and away from the teachings and claims of Mirza Ghulam Qadiani.


text:
CRA considered, and declined, extending its wash-trading policy to supplies made to municipalities

In assessing a “wash transaction,” CRA will automatically waive a significant portion of the interest that was assessable (or all of it, in the context of a voluntary disclosure). However, Memorandum 16-3-1 states that municipalities, which are eligible for 100% GST rebates, are not considered to have received a wash transaction. When asked for the rationale, CRA indicated that it had reviewed this policy 10 years ago and had decided:

to maintain the original tax policy intent of the wash transaction policy whereby it would continue to only possibly apply for recipients involved in commercial activities and entitled to claim full ITCs. The wash transaction policy was not intended to apply to all circumstances where there is no net loss of revenues for the government.

CRA also noted:

… Municipalities in participating provinces may be entitled to a PSB rebate of 100% of the federal part of the HST but only entitled to a lesser percentage of the provincial part of the HST.

Neal Armstrong. Summary of 28 February 2019 CBA Roundtable, Q.19 under s. 281.1(1).


text:
“Leviathan” – What the hell is this?

Leviathan birds1

Leviathan – Wednesday, February 13  at Magno Review. A film by Lucien Castaing-Taylor and Véréna Paravel. This film may be nominally called a documentary, but it’s so far from any documentary I’ve ever seen that it defies description. The press notes call Leviathan a “groundbreaking, immersive portrait of the contemporary fishing industry.” The only accurate word in that phrase is “immersive.” From the very first image the viewer is plunged deep into a swirl of who-knows-what images and sounds, without any context whatsoever.

I thought it might be appropriate, given the raw-feed nature of the film, to show my tortured, unedited notes as I scrawled them in the dark during the screening:

“…like being waterboarded by a movie…disorienting…alienating…horror film…matter-of-fact brutality…never a sense of what’s going on or why or how…violent and dehumanizing…no establishing shots at all…45 minutes into it a guy taking a shower, very abstract image that goes on and on…what am I supposed to take away from this film?…motion sickness…like being on another planet with no reference points…Lovecraft…Bosch…vision of Hell…activity without meaning…assaultive, negative experience…long, static shot in the galley, fisherman at table watching TV we don’t see, goes on and on, he falls asleep…film gives no idea of what it’s like being on one of these ships…as if things aren’t abstract enough, lengthy shots of birds in the sky are suddenly turned upside down…much of the time we don’t know what we’re looking at.”

It’s a good thing I knew beforehand that Leviathan was shot aboard a fishing trawler off the coast of New Bedford, Massachusetts, because the film is simply not interested in supplying that (or any other) information. Leviathan is a purely sensory experience, visual and aural. Titles at the start of the trailer supply a context that you never get in the film.

I’m not saying I don’t want to see films that are experimental, impressionistic, and avant-garde, which this definitely is. But Leviathan seems to be a collection of arbitrarily selected shots edited in such a way as to be as chaotic as possible. If the trailer sparks your interest at all, be warned that nearly every one of these shots goes on for what seems forever. I love long takes in films, but this is something else entirely. If I’m going to be shown the blurry image of a man taking a shower for maybe five minutes, I’d like to have some idea, however vague, of why it’s in the film. The most interesting shots in Leviathan are of birds flying against the sky, but then this footage is turned upside down, and we watch that, also for a very long time.

I obviously just don’t get it. I’m certainly not the best audience for Leviathan, but I’m not sure who would be. The film seems to go out of its way to beat you up with sound and image. When I later watched a video of the filmmakers’ press conference at last year’s New York Film Festival, I was put off immediately when co-director Lucien Castaing-Taylor began by asking if anyone in the audience had an asthma inhaler he could borrow. When asked what the filmmakers were trying to say about the fishing industry, he said they weren’t trying to say anything, that they didn’t want to say anything reducible to words and meaning. This seems pretty pretentious to me. He also acknowledged that the film can be quite stressful and anxiety-inducing to watch. So maybe my reaction was exactly what was hoped for. He seemed hostile and condescending in the press conference, very much the superior artiste. His co-director, Véréna Paravel, has a limited command of English, yet Castaing-Taylor, who is quite fluent, continually insisted that she answer questions rather than himself. Instead of  expanding the way I might see Leviathan, the press conference only reinforced my negative take on the film.

To be fair, Leviathan has been shown at a number of film festivals, has won several awards, and definitely has its champions. For example, Rich Juzwiak’s review in Gawker is much more positive and open to the film than mine. As I’ve indicated, I have a hard time with a film this abstract (and for me, abstract in a hostile way, which is what bothers me the most). I need to be able to relate to whatever I’m seeing, to find a way to hook into the material, which is usually through story and (most importantly) characters. Though I agree with Jean-Luc Godard, who once said that a film should have a beginning, a middle and an end, but not necessarily in that order.

I saw Leviathan at a screening in February, and wasn’t sure I wanted to write about it. It’s much more rewarding and definitely more fun writing about films I like. I try to convey my enthusiasm for those films. But Leviathan is still playing here in NYC, and since I’m still trying to sort out my response to the film, I decided to go ahead and lay out my thoughts. You’ll have to decide if Leviathan is a film you want to see if it comes your way.  – Ted Hicks

** From what I can find, Leviathan is not yet available from either Amazon or Netflix. This is definitely not multiplex fare; art houses and film societies are the likely venues. **

About Ted Hicks

Iowa farm boy; have lived in NYC for 40 years; worked in motion picture labs, film/video distribution, subtitling, media-awards program; obsessive film-goer all my life.
This entry was posted in Film. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to “Leviathan” – What the hell is this?

  1. barbara hughes says:

    thanks.. very insightful,,barbara

  2. Tom Thel says:

    Watched the trailer, got seasick.

    They ought to invent a new kind of kaliedoscope for films like this (if there are any) so you can just watch the imagery and control the speed and flow of time.

  3. Jim Schwantes says:

    The film was certainly provocative for you, Ted. I doubt I could have made it through this one, and I totally made it through Koyaanisqatsi and loved it. Your review, on the other hand, is totally engaging. Some art is confrontational, but at some point I want to be able to get that it opened me up to something or brought me somewhere unexpected. I need the artist to have a vision that leaves me some other question than “Did I just waste my time?” Thanks.

  4. First of all, I LOVE the title for this post. Hilarious!

    Secondly, thanks for the heads up about this film. I NEVER would have heard of it otherwise.

  5. I was planning to watch this during the Miami International Film Festival, but then a few things happened. First, I would have had to watch it on the last day of the festival, and by then I do not want to think or be challenged. Second, I watched the “trailer”.

    Your review was great, and I’m glad you reinforced my decision to skip this one.

  6. Beer Movie says:

    Great review. I wouldn’t mind checking the film out actually, just to see what I think. Not sure I will ever get the chance though. Director sounds like an utter douche.

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text:
Public Meetings: May 26-28

Public Meetings: May 26-28

  • 0

Editor’s note: Because of the COVID-19 virus regular meetings have been postponed or canceled. Some groups are meeting via teleconference or other means. If yours is meeting, please send information to

MAY 26

Castle Rock City Council: 7:30 p.m. meeting; remote and real-time public participation. To join the meeting, call 1-781-448-4502, then enter the PIN number 57861. Participants automatically will be placed on mute. To speak, hit the star key twice.

Cowlitz PUD Board of Commissioners: 2 p.m. meeting via phone/computer through Microsoft Teams. People interested in participating via phone or computer are asked to email Barbara Taylor at by 5 p.m. May 25.

Educational Service District 112 board of directors: 3-5 p.m. meeting via Zoom at Full agenda can be found at

Longview School Board: 6:30 p.m. meeting via Zoom. Instructions for joining the remote meeting will be published on the agenda at

MAY 27

Cowlitz County Board of Commissioners: 1:30 p.m. meeting via Zoom: Meeting ID is 934 7528 2068. Password is 885048. One tap mobile +12532158782,,93475282068#,,885048#.

Port of Longview Board of Commissioners: 10 a.m. remote meeting. To join the meeting, call 1-408-418-9388 and enter the meeting number 126 494 3673. The pass code to join the call is 07825426. People who need assistance should send an email to Participants must join the teleconference before the 10 a.m. start time. In addition, an 11:30 a.m. commissioner workshop will be held. To access, call 1-408-418-9388 and enter the meeting number 126 350 8817. The pass code is 90757407. For assistance, send an email to Participants must join the teleconference before the 11:30 a.m. start time.

MAY 28

Cowlitz County Homeless-Housing Task Force: 2 p.m meeting canceled. Depending on the status of the Stay Home, Stay Healthy order by Gov. Jay Inslee, the next meeting is tentatively set for 2 p.m. June 25 in Conference Room A of the Health and Humand Services building, 1952 Ninth Ave., Longview. For details, call 360-414-5599.

Kalama Civil Service Commission: 5:30 p.m. meeting via Zoom platform. People can attend with desktop computer, laptop, tablet or cellphone. People also can join by phone for just the audio portion of the meeting. People will need to download the Zoom application from Audio is available either through devices of telephone. Numbers to call will be shown once logged in. Details: 360-673-2165 or

City of Longview Transportation Improvement Program: 7 p.m. meeting via Zoom. Contact the City Clerk’s office at 360-442-5041 for information about Zoom accessibility. Zoom instructions will be posted on, on the first page of the meeting agenda. Public comment may be submitted in advance to the City Clerk’s office by emailing To join the meeting, visit https:/ To join by phone for listening in only, dial any of the following numbers (for higher quality, dial a number based on your current location): 1-253-215-8782, 1-669-900-6833, 1-346-248-7799, 1-408-683-0986, 1-646-876-9923, 1-301-715-8592, 1-312-626-6799. Meeting ID is 827 2316 9260.

The Daily News normally publishes public meetings Saturdays. The deadline for submission is 5 p.m. Thursday the week of publication.

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