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Couteau. Cou-teau. COU-TEAU

Occasionally the contradictions, impossibilities, and disastrous limitations of my life all line up and point at me like accusing fingers and I completely freak out. This is one of those times. How is it that I get up every day and do this?

When I’ve once again noticed that my whole life is a huge freaking wreck and I spout off about it, people are nice and try to tell me the good things about me. These are always the things about me that make other people happy, like a good waiter would. Glad to be of service. Would rather have an actual life, like you. There may well be many people with tidy rooms, pleasant mates, and empty lives. I’d take that deal about now.

I’m that guy that every woman thinks would be great for someone else to date. The hypocrisy is almost worst than the rejection. Almost.

If I took out a #2 pencil and wrote down the specifics of my current life as a short paragraph on a nice clean new legal pad I would then immediately shoot myself in the head. Keep pencils away from me.

It’s odd how I can simultaneously be having a pleasant conversation with friends, be entertaining, listen attentively and tell stories, and still at the same time feel that terrible yawning hellpit of self-hatred inside me. They’re faking it, they’re tolerating me, when I’m not around they shake their heads and say “poor guy, I wish he’d get it but there’s no way”.

I think I’ll probably be alone until the day I die. There hasn’t been much evidence to the contrary throughout my adult life. I wonder how one makes a bargain with that?

I refuse to be romantically self-indulgent about it. Bad news is just bad news, like shit on your shoe or a slough of toxic chemicals.

8 thoughts on “Couteau. Cou-teau. COU-TEAU

  1. Christ I know how you feel and you’ve reached that Faustian point in life all learning and experience seems for naught, and I too tend to be merely an avuncular “pal” these days with women , but I want to let you know that I am sure everyone sees you as someone they look up to, someone whose wisdom and knowledge inspire and someone we all look forward to being around. No one ever said it was going to be easy being a genuine Renaissence man you know…

  2. They’re faking it, they’re tolerating me, when I’m not around they shake their heads and say “poor guy, I wish he’d get it but there’s no way”.
    You know, of course, that this is utterly untrue.

  3. Honk.
    You’re one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. I think the worst thought I’ve ever had about you is “he eats goat cheese? yuck!”. You make me wish that we lived in Los Angeles, for a large number or reasons.

  4. what do you mean you’ll be alone? you have a cat!
    you know, each day i gotta deal wif the fact that the food bitch loved the weasel much more than she love me. why i gotta deal wif that? it ain’t fair! i should be someone’s one-and-only interactive diva cat. yet here i am in a house full of hair from a daid weasel hybrid and sure i get chicken on a stick (but off the stick for me) and petted and catnip cigars, but i am not number one! i wanna be number one!
    anyway, look, this is what you gotta deal w. when you are an experiential positivist, and i don’t unnerstand why they call it positivism when if you base your philosophy on what you see and experience first hand how it gone be positive?
    serenity NOW!!

  5. More like that guy that after everyone leaves, and gets in their cars thinks “I hope I said one thing tonight that fools conrad into thinking I’m intelligent, witty, and observant enough to continue his company”.
    But you’re right about the “don’t get it” part.
    You don’t get how much people enjoy you, and look forward to seeing you.

  6. I’ve re-read your post a couple of times and can’t help wondering what sort of compliments someone might give you that aren’t about what great things you do for them? I mean, the only real experience anyone has of anyone else is what that person gives them. I can’t honestly suggest any better measure and by that measure you are awfully well loved. Most of what people say about you distills down to “I respect, admire, and love Conrad and when he’s not here I wish he was.”
    You’re a welcome part of a lot of lives. Precious few people can say that with any honesty. You’re only alone insofar as no one is screwing you at the moment, which is a fairly crass measure of lonliness.

  7. Your right. People do feel better after they give advice. I think that most people, including myself, have a hard time dealing with real emotion (my wife reminds me of this on a daily basis). It makes people uncomfortable because they do not know how to process the information once it is “out there”. I think giving advice is a coping mechanism which makes people feel better about themselves. It allows for people to sleep at night because once the problem is solved in their mind, there is no reason to think about it anymore. Then, when the same problem is voiced again, people are confused because they can remember back and think, “Gee, I already gave him advice about that; why is the problem still there? I guess he did not take my advice…”
    All I can say is that I admire you for voicing your thoughts about your life. It a lot of ways, you’re are healthier emotionally than most people because you admit you actually have problems.

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Benefits of eating grapes

10 Amazing Benefits Of Eating Grapes

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Among the many different interests that the countries share, the love for grapes is a common one. With a high concentration of healthy nutrients, there are numerous benefits of eating grapes, especially due to its effectiveness as an antioxidant.

With seeds and without seeds, red to green colored, you can enjoy grapes in a plethora of its available forms and each one has its own distinct taste.

What do grapes consist of?

Grapes are one of the healthiest and most nutritious fruits. A cup of grapes weighing approximately 150 grams has only 104 calories despite its ability to serve as a fulfilling snack or a side-dish to a meal. Interestingly, while it has 27.3 grams of carbohydrates, the fat contained in grapes is only 0.2 grams even though they are one of the sweetest fruits when ripe. The same serving of grapes also fulfills approximately one-fourth of the Recommended Daily Intake (RDI) of Vitamin C and Vitamin K. The delicious fruit is also rich in several other minerals and vitamins that make it a favorite and recommended addition to diets.

Benefits of eating grapes:

Grapes Are Rich with Vitamins C and K:

Grapes contain a good amount of Vitamin K and Vitamin C. Vitamin K is a nutrient with potency to maintain a healthy balance of platelets and therefore helping blood clotting. This nutrient is also known to be good for people with bone-related problems or deficiencies. Vitamin C, on the other hand, is efficient at preventing oxidization and also promotes healthy tissue development in the body. Since Vitamin C is an important nutrient and one that is not produced naturally by the body, it is important to add Vitamin C-rich foods in your diet, for which grapes are a great source.

Antioxidant and a great medicine:

Antioxidation is an important process for the body to function in a healthy manner. The antioxidants present in grapes are presented to prevent numerous diseases such as cancer, diabetes, and more, especially with its property of being able to control the movement of free radicals. Among all benefits of eating grapes, this one is the most achievable by the use of red grapes as they contain the highest values of resveratrol.

Grapes are Great for a Good Heart:

Grapes are not good for just some fine wine; they are good in a healthy way for a great and maintained heart health. The plenty of potassium present in grapes provides approximately 6 per cent of the total Recommended Daily Intake, and potassium is actually found via researches to be an efficient remedy at maintaining blood pressure, hence preventing heart diseases like stroke or failure. Moreover, red grapes specifically have been proven to reduce bad cholesterol.

Maintains Sugar Levels in Blood:

While it is a common idea that anyone with diabetes should avoid grapes altogether as they contain a lot of glucose, however, it is interesting to realize that how this glucose is absorbed changes its recommendation as a diabetes-friendly fruit. The glucose in grapes is absorbed relatively slowly into the blood stream and the fruit is found to be beneficial in maintaining blood sugar levels and decreasing insulin insensitivity, but only when taken in a controlled diet.

Grapes Improves Your Vision:

10 health benefits of grapes

One of the most long-term benefits of eating grapes is its effect on eye health. Grapes are known to have the nutrients required for a healthy vision. The antioxidants present in grapes have been found to be beneficial in preventing the eyes from getting damaged by prolonged exposure to blue light emitted by screens. Also, there are several eye diseases that occur with aging that a regular diet of grapes can prevent.

Encourages a Healthy Brain:

Grapes are rich in resveratrol, a nutrient that is often recommended for prevention and treatment by doctors for chronic diseases like cancer and diabetes. However, grapes are not good for just the heart, but also the mind. The resveratrol has been used in many research control groups to find its effects on the brain, and interestingly, it has given great results for an increased attention span, improved memory, and even a happy mood! What’s more? Grapes are known to be an effective hack for preventing the onset of Alzheimer disease or its symptoms.

Grapes Makes Your Bones Stronger:

Bones are made stronger with calcium, and more calcium is absorbed into bones with a better diet of grapes. That is because grapes contain a large variety of nutrients required for good bone health, including magnesium, phosphorus, calcium, potassium, Vitamin K, and more.

Prevents Common Health Issues:

With their richness in antioxidants and other nutrients, grapes are almost a medicine for the common cold and other common health issues including viral flus, bacterial and yeast infections etc. These benefits of eating grapes are also contributed to its dosage of Vitamin C which is known to be a booster of immune system. Moreover, the resveratrol in grapes also makes your immune system stronger against potential food-related sicknesses.

Grapes Keeps You Younger:

Another thought-provoking effect of having grapes in the long term is its anti-aging properties that ultimately increase your life expectancy. There is a gene called SirT1 that is known to prolong life and slow down the aging process. The resveratrol in grapes boosts this gene and thus, keeps you younger for a longer time.

Is eating grapes at night bad for you?

In general eating any fruit at night is bad for your health. whether it was grapes, bananas, or any other fruit. And that because it will raise your energy levels. And at night your body need to be relaxed and any raise in energy can cause insomnia and listlessness

How many grapes should you eat a day

A study recommended taking 20 grams of the fruit’s extract every day to maintain sugar levels.

These are the many benefits of eating grapes that would make your diet healthier, and your body more maintained both internally and externally. Grapes are one of nature’s blessings as they suit most tastes and are available around the world for most times of the year.

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Asymmetric Information Problem in Syirkah Financing

Topic: AutomotiveCommercial
Sample donated:
Last updated: June 5, 2019

The image of Islamic Banking system is increasing since the financial crisis in 2008. Islamic financial market activity as well as in some developed countries such as Australia, Bahamas, Canada, Cayman Islands, Danish, Guernsey, jersey, Ireland, Luxembourgh, Switzerland, United Kingdom, United States, and Virgin Islands also grow (Latifa and Mervyn 2001, p.

9).Base on Bank Indonesia report at the third quarter 2009, The Banker’s survey in 2009 showed that the asset managed by the 500 largest Islamic financial institutions in the world in 2009 grew 28. 6% compared to 2008 or from USD639 billion to USD822 billion. In Indonesia, Islamic Banking was began in 1992 with the establishment of Bank Muamalat Indonesia and followed by Bank Syariah Mandiri in 1999. Bank Indonesia statistic informed that position in March 2010 there were eight Islamic Commercial Bank, 25 Business Unit, and 143 Islamic Rural Bank (BPRS). Total number of Islamic Banking offices are 1499 units.

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Looking at the trend growth of Islamic banking institutions and the number of such offices, it seems that the market of Islamic Banking business in Indonesia grew rapidly. Particularly in Indonesia, a majority Muslim society Along with the rapid growth of Islamic Banking, there is the problematic application of the primary product of the Islamic Banking based on profit and loss sharing. In Indonesia, based on the Act No. 7 of 1992 article 6, Islamic Banking is identical with the primary product profit and loss sharing. In a recent article (Rifki 2009, p.

01) Islamic Banking theory recognizes financing allocation into three types which are: (a) Equity-based financing; (b) Debt-based financing and; (c) Benevolent loan and service. Profit and loss sharing concept is included in the category of Equity-based financing. According Sunarto (2003, p.

24) transaction of Islamic economic system have two contract, tabarru’ (virtue) and tijarah (business). Tijarah contract is for business and business-oriented. Equity-based financing and Debt-based financing are included in tijarah category. Amongst all kinds of financing, debt based financing is the most favorite one in particular Murabahah financing.Islamic Bank use it is because (a) Murabahah rate of return is predetermined, fixed and continues (b) Trade financing does not require much efforts to monitor (c) Risk of default is relatively low (Rifki. 2009, p.

102). Existing trends in some countries that apply Islamic Banking, Murabahah skim as secondary product with a certain margin has large portion, with an average 70% more. Likewise in Indonesia, the implementation of equity-based financing as a primary product of Islamic Banking has a smaller portion because it has a high risk.The cause of high risk is any asymmetric information between Bank/Owner of the funds (shahibul mall) and Client/Entrepeneur (mudharib). Antonio (2001,p. 90) said that there are four types of major contract in Equity-based financing which are Mudharabah (trustee partnership), Musharakah (joint venture), Muzara’ah (harvest yield profit sharing), and Musaqot (plantation management fee based on certain portion of yield).

But the principle of the most popular and widely used by Islamic Banking in Indonesia from Equity-based financing is musharakah and mudharabah.Focus of this paper is how to solve problems of asymmetric information on Equity-based financing product specifically musyarakah and mudharabah which if not mitigated will create moral hazard for entrepreneurs and at the end will harm the development of Islamic banking. Islamic Economic Business as part of economic activity is always a vital role in human life throughout the ages. Economic interests will influence the behavior for all levels of the individual, social, regional, national, and international. Muslims have long been involved in economic activity since the fifteenth century ago (Merza 2006, p. -2). The phenomenon is not a strange thing, because Islam encourages Muslims to conduct business activities in order to meet their social-economy needs.

Islamic economic that has been running currently in Indonesia known as Islamic Economic System. Merza (2006, p. 5) explained that the Islamic Economic System has several goals: 1. Economic Welfare in the framework of the Islamic moral norms.

2. Form a community with a solid social order, based on justice and universal brotherhood. 3. Achieving the distribution of income and wealth in a fair and equitable.

4.Creating individual freedom in the context of social welfare. Paradigm of Islamic Economic System is different from conventional economics. Paradigm of Islamic economic system is not a secular, free values, materialist and Social-Darwinism.

But Islamic economic system based on a number of concepts which tend to be rooted in his doctrines. Islamic economic system provided the main interest in moral values, human brotherhood and social and economic justice. Unlike the concept of Marxism and Capitalism are not relying on the state nor the market to realize its vision (Chapra 2001,p. 59).Thus the paradigm of Islamic economic system leads to better integrate the role of values and institutions, markets, families, communities and countries to ensure the realization of prosperity for all.

This emphasizes the importance of social change through improving individual and society, without causing any unfairness in the market and the state. Characteristics of Musharakah and Mudharabah Musyarakah is an agreement between two or more parties to a particular business in which each party contributes funds or expertise with the agreement that the benefits and risks will be shared in accordance to an agreement (Antonio 2001, p. 0-91). Musyarakah financing is usually applied to projects where the client/entrepreneur and the bank/owner of the funds together to provide funds to finance the project. After the project is completed, client/entrepreneur return the funds together for an agreed outcome for the bank. Bank as the owner of the fund in this case is known as a business partners, is eligible to participate in company management.

But the participation of the Bank is not a necessity. The parties can divide the work to manage the business according to the agreement, and they can also request a salary for heir effort and expertise devoted to the business. However, in practice in Indonesia, the Bank did not participate in the management of the business because of oddity and have the confidence to client/entrepreneur. In musyarakah, profit divided by agreement of the parties, while the loss will be shared in proportion to equity participation of each party (Zainul. 2010). Slightly different from the musyarakah, mudharabah is an agreement between two parties whereby the business first bank/owner of the funds to provide full of financial capital (100%), while client / entrepreneur to provide expertise.

Mudharabah business profits divided by agreement as outlined in the contract, whereas if the loss is borne by capital owners during the loss was not due to negligence of the client/entrepreneur. If the losses due to fraud or negligence of the client/entrepreneur, then the client/entrepreneur will be responsible for losses (Antonio 2001,p. 90-91). Here will appear the asymmetric information between client/entrepreneur and bank/owner of funds. The asymmetric information being happen because of the bank has less information on the project and the client/entrepreneur not disclose the profit or income of the project.Generally mudharabah divided into two kinds; mudharabah muthlaqah and mudharabah muqayyadah. Mudharabah muthlaqah is a form of cooperation between the bank/owner of the funds and client/entrepreneur that broad in scope and not limited by the specification type of effort, time, and the business district. Unlike the mudharabah muqayyadah or also called the restricted mudharabah which restricted to the type of effort, time, or place of business (Zainul.

2010). In addition, in banking applications, mudharabah can be implemented in products funding and financing.In this paper, mudharabah that will discussed is mudharabah that be implemented in financing product. Musyarakah/Mudharabah Risk Risk inherent in the musyarakah and mudharabah in financing product is relatively high. Antonio (2001, p. 93-97) has shown the risk: 1. Side streaming Side streaming in question is client/entrepreneur use the funds not referred to in the contract. It can happen because customer from abusing the trust that has been given by the bank.

This is because the character of client/entrepreneur is not good. 2. Negligence and willful misconductNegligence and willful misconduct can occur if client/entrepreneur do not have the expertise and good management. Or it could be if the client/entrepreneur is deliberately causing speculation beyond the ability of large losses. Speculation could happen because there is an element of greed will benefit. For example doing or promising to complete the project although have a limited resources or collusion with the project committee which causes other cost increase and erode profits. 3. Concealment of profits by the client/entrepreneur The basic concept of mudharabah and musyarakah is profit and loss sharing system.

According to PSAK 59 about Islamic Banking accounting, there are two types of profit sharing, through the gross and net profit sharing. In this concept, bank/owner of the funds and client/entrepreneur agree in advance how many percentage of gross profit or net operating profit to be distributed. Obviously the revenue of each month not same and tend to fluctuate. This characteristic is the real nature of the concept of profit and loss sharing. However, in practice if the customer is not good moral and are not honest in reporting its financial results to the Bank, the concept profit and loss sharing would be detrimental to either party.

Incompatibility of information or asymmetric information that arises quite is dependent on the moral client/entrepreneur. Moral hazard is a special case of information asymmetry, a situation in which one party in a transaction has more information than another. The party that is insulated from risk generally has more information about its actions and intentions than the party paying for the negative consequences of the risk. More broadly, moral hazard occurs when the party with more information about its actions or intentions has a tendency or incentive to behave inappropriately from the perspective of the party with less information.Moral hazard arises because an individual or institution does not take the full consequences and responsibilities of its doings, and therefore has a tendency to act less carefully than it alternately would, leaving another party to hold some responsibility for the consequences of those actions (wikipedia. 2010). Because of these risks, the Islamic Banking tend to be reluctant to distribute the product musyarakah and mudharabah.

Hadi Purnomo, Head of Corporate Banking at the Bank Syariah Mandiri said: “Skim of musyarakah and mudharabah have high risk for the banking industry.Currently, it is difficult to find a client / entrepreneur who have the honesty and high integrity. Client/entrepreneur tend to keep the benefit for his own and always said suffering from losses because of business risks. Actually it is common if the loses is caused by client/entrepreneur managing a busines. On the other word, the client/entrepreneur want to pay cheaper to the bank. “(Personal Interview, June 1, 2010). Based on the statistic of Bank Indonesia in March 2010, the portion of musyarakah dan mudharabah financing is smaller than murabahah. It is shown in the table below: In.

Rp Billion Contract |2005 |2006 |2007 |2008 |2009 |Maret ’10 | |Mudharabah |3. 124 |2. 335 |4. 406 |7. 411 |10. 412 |11.

216 | |Musyarakah |1. 898 |4. 062 |5. 578 |6. 205 |6. 597 |6.

716 | |Murabahah |9. 487 |12. 624 |16. 553 |22. 486 |26. 321 |28.

269 | Source: Bank Indonesia statistic, March 2010.From the table above, murabahah portofolio is higher than musyarakah and mudharabah. It is contradictive with the nature of Islamic Banking system which have the primary product in profit and loss sharing concept, musyarakah and mudharabah. Reducing Asymmetric Information As mandated in the Act No. 7 of 1992, article 6 that the primary product of Islamic Banking is profit and loss sharing concept.

This concept contains the following advantages (Antonio 2001. p. 93): 1.

The bank/owner of funds will enjoy an increase of profit when business of client / entrepreneur increase. . The Bank is not obliged to pay a certain amount of funding and equipment to customers, but adjusted earnings / results of operations of the bank. So that banks will not have experienced in the negative spread.

3. Principal return base on client/entrepreneur cash flow. 4. The principle of profit and loss sharing, musyarakah and mudharabah, is different with the principle of conventional fixed rate.

The conventional bank will charge customers a fixed rate regardless of how profitable client/entrepreneur, also even though losing money and in the economic crisis situation.Therefore, it required an effort to minimize the asymmetric information so the profit and loss sharing concept be growing rapidly. There are several ways that can do: 1. Involvement of the bank or third party as an independent party in the client / entrepreneur business. The argument that the involvement of the bank or any third party representing the banks in the implementation of such efforts made by Mervyn and Latifa (2001). They argue that in order to assess the viability of the project, the bank should consider this particular expert.

Their expertise can be used not only for project appraisal, but also for guidance and advice on project management. This is a common thing done by the Islamic Banking in Iran. In Indonesia it has been run by some Islamic Rural Bank (BPRS), but has not been carried out by Islamic Commercial Bank (BUS). 2. Building the Islamic principles. Relation between the bank/owner of fund and the client/entrepreneur needs to be based by Islamic values that contain ethics. That value will prevent the all party acts contrary to what can be accepted by society.

Mainly, the building process through the exemplary ethic is by Bank Officer. 3. Provides financing to companies which listed on the stock market.

Companies that listed in stock market must provide disclosure information, because the company as a public company. Disclosure of this information will allow officials to evaluate the performance of the bank customers. 4. Banks have access anytime to the company’s accounting application/ mirroring application of accounting firms. Access to this information can be made if the client/entrepreneur has implemented the SAP system.

The SAP system allow key employee that may be opening a company’s internal corporate database application anywhere and anytime. If the bank/owner of fund was granted the right access the transparency of financial statements can be identified by the bank 5. Client/entrepreneur give some collateral to the bank. Collateral in here it’s mean as a moral obligation. Client/entrepreneur will think twice or third if he want doing moral hazard. Conclusion Islamic banking is growing rapidly.

However, rapid growth of Islamic banking is not matched by the rapid growth of Equity-based financing product as widely known with musyarakah and mudharabah.One of the main obstacles is the existence of asymmetric information that can lead to moral hazard on the client. Based on the above description has been clear that the asymmetric Information can be minimized by several way; involvement of the bank or a third party appointed by the bank in managing the business, continually build on shariah principles, provides financing to companies listing on the stock exchange, the bank have access directly to the customer database system, and client/entrepreneur give collateral to the bank as a moral obligation.Reference: Antonio, M.

Syafi’i. ,2001. Islamic Banking: From Theory to Practice. Jakarta: Gema Insani Press. p. 90-97. Arifin, Zainul.

,2010. Sharia Product and Contract. In: Sharia Lecture Material of School of Business and Management ITB. Jakarta: SBM ITB Team. Bank Indonesia,2009. Islamic Banking Statistic. Jakarta: Directorate of Islamic Banking, p.

1. Bank Indonesia,2009. Development of Global Islamic Financial Market. Jakarta: International Bulletin, 3rd Quarter. Chapra, M. Umer. ,2001. The Future of Economics: An Islamic Perspective.

Translate by Sharia Economics and Banking Institute. Jakarta: SEBI Press. p.

59. Gamal, Merza. 2006. Social and Economic Dynamics Model of Islam; Solutions Development Sustainable ; Equitable Welfare. Pekanbaru: UNRI Press. p. 1-5. Ismail, Rifki.

,2009. Assesing Moral Hazard Problem in Murabahah Financing. Journal of Islamic Economics Banking and Finance, Volume 5 Number 2, p.

101. Wikipedia,2010. Available from: http://wikipedia.

org [Accessed on 01 June 2010 at 17. 30 pm]. Zulkifli, Sunarto. ,2003. Practical Guide of Islamic Banking Transactions.

Jakarta: Zikrul Hakim. p. 24.

———————– [1] Student in MBA Sharia Banking and Finance, School of Business and Management, ITB

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Best Care Patient Advocacy

Communication. Clarity. Peace of Mind.

COVID-19, Ventilators, and Advance Care Planning:

Have You Thought About Your Advance Care Plan Recently?

COVID-19 is rapidly changing the medical landscape in the United States and throughout the world. For many people who already have advance care directives in place, these rapid changes should signal an important opportunity to review their plans. Decisions made pre-COVID-19 don’t take into account the challenging specifics of this disease. Being proactive and considering how this pandemic may impact advance care directives can save everyone time, money, and help prevent unnecessary suffering.

An advance care directive is a legal document that details the health-related measures for prolonging life you would like to be undertaken if you aren’t able to make decisions for yourself. You can also designate a medical power of attorney (POA) to make health-related decisions if you can’t speak for yourself. Advance directives cover various life-prolonging and comfort-care measures such as the use of life-prolonging equipment, do not resuscitate (DNR) orders, artificial hydration and/or nutrition, and the administration of comfort care measures such as medicine to relieve pain, anxiety, and nausea. Although these directives are an important document at any time, they are especially critical in the current health landscape as COVID-19 can strike unexpectedly and critical illness can occur rapidly.

I am a board-certified patient advocate, and just a few days ago, I was considering my own advance care directive. Before the rise of COVID-19, my advance care directive stated I did not want to be placed on a ventilator. However, in light of the current pandemic, should I add a short-term ventilator plan to my advance directive? Maybe. At the very least, I should consider how COVID-19 may impact my wishes.
Approximately one in three Americans have an advance care directive. But many of these people have not made updates to their documents in light of COVID-19. I believe everyone should examine their end-of-life wishes and take the reality of the current pandemic into account when doing so. For those who had previously chosen to forgo ventilator assistance, it may be beneficial to consider adding a short-term ventilator plan. And for those who have chosen to receive full treatment under other circumstances, it is useful to consider whether they still want to receive full treatment, including ventilation, if diagnosed with COVID-19. To start thinking about this, let’s take a look at what we know about ventilators and COVID-19.

Mechanical ventilation is one tactic being used on critically ill COVID-19 patients due to severe respiratory symptoms. Mechanical ventilators are machines which help you breathe. You can be intubated, that means a tube goes down your throat, or you can receive a “trach”. A “trach” is a tube that is inserted through a hole in the neck. COVID-19 patients who decide to be ventilated typically remain on ventilation for 2–3 weeks. Long-term ventilation like this can cause severe lung disease and some patients may ultimately take months to recover. Most importantly, a ventilator is not a cure for COVID-19, it simply allows your body the time it may need to recover. Of patients in New York City who were intubated, 24.5% eventually passed away.

When considering and discussing your advance care plan in light of COVID-19, it is important to weigh the pros and cons of ventilation. Because COVID-19 can strike unexpectedly and develop into a severe illness rapidly, patients who do not have plans in place may not have the time to develop them. Many hospitals have no-visitor policies, so the chance to discuss medical decisions with loved ones is limited. And for patients who are on ventilation, speaking is no longer possible.

I always attempt to be proactive instead of reactive. This is especially valuable to keep in mind when it comes to COVID-19. Having these difficult planning conversations now can save individuals pain and suffering due to unwanted medical procedures and save their families from undue emotional and financial hardship.

Luckily, there are lots of resources available to help you have these talks and assist you in thinking about the best decisions for you and your individual situation. Remember, an advance care directive shouldn’t be “just a piece of paper.” It should be the embodiment of a larger conversation where you consider what is most important to you such as loved ones, mobility, and independence. Other topics to consider during these discussions include:

  • Your feelings about being put on and taken off a ventilator.
  • How to handle a curable condition that is currently life-threatening.
  • The appointment of a medical power of attorney (POA) who you trust to make medical decisions based on your values and wishes.
  • How to get information on the available types of treatment.

Conversations about these preferences and values can help provide real relief for the patient and their loved ones. There’s comfort in having a plan in place in times like these.

I’ve also included a list of resources at the end of the article to help you think about updating your advance care directive due to COVID-19 or to put an advance care directive into place for the first time if you don’t currently have one.

Although our medical landscape looks different today than it did just a few months ago, you can ensure you are prepared for any eventuality by thinking about your advance care directive in light of COVID-19 and making any changes that are needed now. Remember, it pays to be proactive instead of reactive. Don’t wait to think about and make these important changes.

It’s important to have your voice heard when decisions are being made for you.

The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization provides links to each state’s advance directive form.

The Conversation Project offers three concrete steps you can take now to begin thinking about your wishes during the current pandemic. There are also helpful conversation prompts to assist you while having these difficult conversations.

Five Wishes provides many resources to support you and your loved ones in discussing and documenting end-of-life care and comfort choices.

Respecting Choices has several COVID-19 planning and discussion tools, including information on specific treatment decisions and the importance of making treatment decisions before a medical crisis.

Compassion and Choices offers a comprehensive end-of-life planning guide in Spanish and English. They also have a useful COVID-19 specific addendum which can be completed to add to your advance care directive. This addendum includes additional specificity to address the possible progression of COVID-19.


text:
I don’t want my love story to start with tequila and Tinder

I was going to title this post “This Is What Happened When I Met A Tinder IRL” discussing about the time I unintentionally met a Tinder boy in real life a few days ago. The encounter was awkward, as expected, but the awkwardness seemed unwarranted for.

He sat at a table at the bar with a few of my friends. We had a brief conversation via Tinder only a few hours before, discussing our plans for the night. We both told each other our plans to go to the bar although I had no intention of actually meeting up with him.

“This is Brendan,” my friend said. He reached out his hand to shake mine. I looked up from the floor and my eyes met with his. Well, this is awkward, I immediately thought to myself. We both recognized each other and it was fairly obvious by the smirks we were desperately trying to hide, but neither one of us said a word about it. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said. I took my friends arm and headed to the bathroom, immediately blurting out, “OMG we just talked on Tinder 2 hours ago.” She laughed asked if I was going to mention it to him and I replied, “No way.”

Why do we Tinder? It’s fun, mindless, and an instant confidence boost, right? Sure. But, is that really why? Generation Y has given up on the idea of meeting the love of our lives in a coffee shop or randomly on the street. We have given up on the hopes of a fairytale romance, often blaming it on the fact that chivalry seems to be an antiquated piece of the past. It’s an idea that we often fantasize about, but it’s become taboo to approach a stranger at a coffee shop and call her beautiful. It’s become labeled as “creepy” to ask a girl on a date before texting her for weeks prior. The code of our dating culture insists we follow set of rules and guidelines before taking a leap of faith. It’s a set of rules that we often complain about, but invest ourselves in anyways.

We won’t meet our future husbands in a coffee shop, or from a random encounter on the street. We won’t meet them by spilling the contents of their briefcase everywhere or on the beach while we are nose deep in a trashy Bella Andre romance novel. They won’t save us from oncoming traffic or start a conversation with you in a laundromat when your sexy g-string awkwardly lands in their basket.

Our fairytale starts at a bar three tequila shots deep. It starts when you have the liquid courage to flirt with him, eventually landing back at his place, desperately texting your friends in the morning for a ride home to avoid the Walk of Shame. It continues with texts back and forth, a fair share of nights up wondering how he really feels about you. It either ends with two happy hearts or one heart desperately chasing another for something that will never be.

Since chivalry has been replaced with misconstrued text messages and the fear of rejection, and we have given up on the romantic-comedy fairytale that we all fantasize about. Where does that leave us? It leaves us with an app that you can swipe right or left. An app that doesn’t require much effort but gives you the attention that you crave and desire.

Do we Tinder because we’re bored? Or do we Tinder because we are desperately searching for attention that the guy we slept with last weekend doesn’t provide? Tinder tells you that you’re pretty, it tells you that you’re worth it, even if your ex-boyfriend doesn’t think so. Tinder provides us with a glimmer of hope to meet the guy of our dreams, although the hope is often masked with our inability to accept that this may be the start of our fairytale.

“I won’t tell anyone we met on Tinder,” reads the bios of so many. However, we wear the “met drunkenly at a bar,” label with pride. We wear the “it took over 6 months of sleepovers and awkward sober encounters to actually make it official,” label with ease. But, we simply won’t tell anyone met on Tinder. That’s not supposed to be a part of our fairytale.

I’m not sure why I refused to acknowledge Brendan and I’s Tinder encounter. Perhaps I was waiting for him to make the first move. Or perhaps it was because I don’t want my fairytale to start with, “We met on Tinder.” I want my fairytale to start in a coffee shop, with a cute guy offering to buy my overly-priced cappuccino. I want my fairytale to be cute and quirky enough to be featured in the next rom-com. I want to come around a corner too quickly and accidentally bump into a 6 foot 1 dude who happens to catch my eye at the right moment. I want my fairytale to be everything my hopeless romantic-mind has cracked it up to be.

It leads me back to my original question, why do we Tinder? Why do we spend countless hours swiping back and forth only to experience awkward encounters and unanswered “do you want to grab a drink sometime” questions? Why don’t we want this app to be included in our love stories when we are giving it every reason to? It’s a reality we are desperately avoiding, but maybe it’s time to embrace it.

I want to start my love story in a coffee shop, or on the cobblestone streets of Venice. I want him to rescue me from on-coming traffic when I’m too busy picking an Instagram filter. I don’t want my love story to start with tequila and Tinder, but maybe it’s time to accepting the fact that it probably will.

Welcome to Generation Y, ladies and gents.

9 thoughts on “I don’t want my love story to start with tequila and Tinder

  1. I enjoyed reading your post, but woman to woman, I think you should reevaluate your self worth. Tinder doesn’t tell you you’re beautiful or provide some false bravado for your ego. You are beautiful! You are worth it! And chivalry is not dead, it’s just not found on that obnoxious dating app. Ditch the swiping and put a little faith back in men. You’ll get your fairytale, I guarantee it!

  2. I really love this post! And I completely understand what you’re saying. Because if a stranger approaches you in a cafe or at a tram stop and tries to talk to you, you tend to think they’re a creep and walk away. But if a dude hits you up on Tinder without even seeing you in person? Yeah cool. (Even though I did just write a post about finding true love on Tinder…haha.)
    My boyfriend and I technically met on Facebook, but there is a nice story behind it. He saw my photo in the local newspaper and thought I was pretty…so he found me on Facebook, messaged me and told me he saw me in the paper and asked me out on a date. Kind of like approaching a pretty girl on the street, no? He took me to the beach and out for dinner a few days later and three years later things are looking pretty good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wait that’s actually adorable!!! I couldn’t love that story more. And it totally is like approaching a girl on the street, which is why I hate that there’s a certain stigma behind guys who do that but yet it’s something we all dream about happening. Society is weird. But I’m so happy you liked my post and even more happy you found love In such a cute way!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You are INCREDIBLE beth!!!! I go to Ohio State and I read your blog all the time, and all of my friends are obsessed with your stuff! Keep up the good work girl!

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text:
My weekly walk with the Clown

My weekly walk with the Clown

The Clown and I take a walk together every Thursday afternoon. The Clown and I hold hands when we walk. The Clown has very big hands covered with red shiny gloves. The Clown and I swing our hand-held arms high as we walk. The Clown and I hum out loud as we walk. The hums aren’t songs. They sound as if a group of birds were humming.

I don’t know the Clown’s name. I’ve never asked, and the Clown never offered. The Clown has never asked me for mine. Each of us noticing the other is our names. If this were happening between me and anyone else, I would say that sounds cheesy, but with the Clown it’s not.

Sometimes when the Clown and I are walking and humming, I happen to look down and notice our feet are almost a foot in the air. It feels to me like we’re walking on the ground. But at that moment we’re not.

I’ve never not walked with the Clown on a Thursday. That means I’ve been walking once a week with the Clown since I was two-and-a-half. I have no memories before then.

The Clown is sometimes sad, sometimes happy. Sometimes the clown smells like flowers, other times like crap. Sometimes the Clown lifts its beanie with the spinning propeller and a hawk flies out from its head up to a cloud where it sits and looks down on us.

I’m always excited when I wake up Thursday morning because I know I will be meeting the Clown for our walk that afternoon. When the afternoon rolls around, my heart starts beating in excitement because I know the clown will be showing up soon. Usually the Clown arrives around 3pm. If it’s 2:59 and the Clown hasn’t arrived, I feel like I’m going to lose it because, “What if the Clown is not going to show up?!” But that’s never happened.

Sometimes during our walk, the clown will look me in the eyes. I look back. I get lost in that look and I forget which of us is which. I’m pretty sure the clown isn’t confused. But I can tell the Clown knows I’m confused and seems to feel delight.

If someone sees the Clown and I out for our walk, they often look at us puzzled. I’ll wonder to myself if that’s because I’m not dressed like a clown, or if that person wishes they were me, holding the Clown’s hand.

The Clown’s hand feels like its vibrating in my hand. The feeling reminds me of the joke hand buzzer I used to wear as a kid to shock my friends when I shook their hands.

The Clown and I walk for four hours. At that time the Clown lets go of my hand. I feel disconcerted. The Clown makes a funny face and I feel reassured. I watch as the Clown walks away. I think the Clown will walk back and take my hand and we will continue walking. But eventually the Clown is out of view.

I walk back home. I take a shower. I sit on my couch. I look out the window.

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text:
Grade Parents are designated parents for each grade level in the religious school who will help support parents and teachers throughout the school year to help strengthen the school and enhance family engagement.

The grade parents will work to:

  • Coordinate parent volunteers for grade events and projects;
  • Serve as a liaison for parent questions, concerns and ideas, including supporting new families; and
  • Understand key points of the year’s curriculum to help parents understand requirements, manage expectations and support family learning.

Please feel free to contact your grade parent at any time throughout the school year!

Head Grade Parent – Kim Goldner

Gan – Shirley Goldman

Aleph – Johanna Shapiro

Bet – Cara Cook

GimelKeri Reitman Schnapper

Dalet – Cara Cook

Hey – Raina Silver

<Vav – Ellen Vellensky

Zayin – Melissa Zinovoy


text:
bandra buzz

About BFM team

We, at, believe in sharing knowledge and giving quality information to our BFM students. We are here to provide and update you with all the details required by you BFMites!

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text:
 Isaiah 10:12 TSK

Treasury of Scripture Knowledge

Wherefore it shall come to pass, that when the Lord hath performed his whole work upon mount Zion and on Jerusalem, I will punish the fruit of the stout heart of the king of Assyria, and the glory of his high looks.

Punish the fruit of the stout heart

General references

Bible References

When the lord

Isaiah 10:5
Ho, Assyrian, the rod of my anger, the staff in whose hand is my indignation!
Isaiah 14:24
LORD of hosts has sworn, saying, Surely, as I have thought, so shall it come to pass, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand,
Isaiah 27:9
Therefore by this the iniquity of Jacob shall be forgiven. And this is all the fruit of taking away his sin: that he makes all the stones of the altar as chalkstones that are beaten apart, [so that] the Asherim and the sun-images s
Isaiah 46:10
declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not [yet] done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure,
Psalm 76:10
Surely the inward thought of man shall praise thee, even the residue of inward thought will observe a festival to thee.
1 Peter 4:17
Because the time to begin judgment is from the house of God, and if first from us, what is the end of those who disobey the good-news of God?

I will

Isaiah 10:16
Therefore will the Lord, LORD of hosts, send among his fat ones, leanness, and under his glory there shall be kindled a burning like the burning of fire.
Isaiah 17:12
Ah, the uproar of many peoples, who roar like the roaring of the seas, and the rushing of nations, that rush like the rushing of mighty waters!
Isaiah 29:7
And the multitude of all the nations that fight against Ariel, even all that fight against her and her stronghold, and that distress her, shall be as a dream, a vision of the night.
Isaiah 30:30
And LORD will cause his glorious voice to be heard, and will show the coming down of his arm with the indignation of [his] anger, and the flame of a devouring fire, with a blast and tempest and hailstones.
Isaiah 31:5
As birds hovering, so LORD of hosts will protect Jerusalem. He will protect and deliver. He will pass over and preserve.
Isaiah 37:36
And the agent of LORD went forth, and smote in the camp of the Assyrians a hundred and eighty-five thousand. And when men arose early in the morning, behold, these were all dead bodies.
Isaiah 50:11
Behold, all ye who kindle a fire, who gird yourselves about with firebrands, walk ye in the flame of your fire, and among the brands that ye have kindled. This ye shall have from my hand. Ye shall lie down in sorrow.
Jeremiah 50:18
Therefore thus says LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: Behold, I will punish the king of Babylon and his land, as I have punished the king of Assyria.

Punish the fruit of the stout heart

Isaiah 9:9
And all the people shall know, [even] Ephraim and the inhabitant of Samaria, who say in pride and in arrogance of heart,
Psalm 21:10
Thou will destroy their fruit from the earth, and their seed from among the sons of men.
Matthew 12:33
Either make the tree good, and its fruit good, or make the tree corrupt, and its fruit corrupt, for the tree is known by its fruit.
Matthew 15:19
For from the heart comes forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, FALSE witnessings, revilings.

The glory

Isaiah 2:11
The lofty looks of man shall be brought low, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and LORD alone shall be exalted in that day.
Isaiah 5:15
And the common man is bowed down, and the great man is debased, and the eyes of the lofty are humbled,
Psalm 18:27
For thou will save the afflicted people, but the haughty eyes thou will bring down.
Proverbs 30:13
There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes, and their eyelids are lifted up.
Ezekiel 31:10
Therefore thus said lord LORD: Because thou are exalted in stature, and he has set his top among the thick boughs, and his heart is lifted up in his height,
Daniel 4:37
Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are truth, and his ways justice. And he is able to abase those who walk in pride.

General references

Deuteronomy 30:7
And LORD thy God will put all these curses upon thine enemies, and on those who hate thee, who persecuted thee.


text:
 Job 14:13 TSK

Treasury of Scripture Knowledge

O that thou wouldest hide me in the grave, that thou wouldest keep me secret, until thy wrath be past, that thou wouldest appoint me a set time, and remember me!

Bible References

Hide me

Job 3:17
There [the] wicked cease from troubling, and there [the] {weary} are at rest;
Isaiah 57:1
The righteous [one] perishes, and there is no one who takes [it] to heart. And men of faithfulness [are] gathered, while there is no one who understands, for the righteous is gathered from the presence of wickedness.

Isaiah 12:1
And you will say on that day, "I will give you thanks, Yahweh, for though you were angry with me, your anger turned away, and you comforted me.
Isaiah 26:20
Go, my people, enter into your chambers and shut your doors behind you; hide for {a very little} while, until [the] wrath has passed over.

Appoint me

Mark 13:32
"But concerning that day or hour no one knows--not even the angels in heaven nor the Son--except the Father.
Acts 1:7
But he said to them, "It is not for you to know [the] times or seasons that the Father has set by his own authority.
Acts 17:31
because he has set a day on which he is going to judge the world in righteousness by the man who he has appointed, having provided proof to everyone [by] raising him from the dead."

Genesis 8:1
And God remembered Noah and all the wild animals, and all the domesticated animals that [were] with him in the ark. And God caused a wind to blow over the earth, and the waters subsided.
Psalm 106:4
Remember me, O Yahweh, when [you show] favor to your people. Look after me when you deliver,
Luke 23:42
And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom!"


text:
 1 Corinthians 7:1 Commentaries: Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1 Corinthians 7:1
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
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1 Corinthians 7:1-2. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me — The letter of the Corinthian believers to which the apostle alludes here, and in which it appears they put divers questions to him, hath long been lost; a circumstance to be much regretted; for had it been preserved, it would doubtless have illustrated many passages of the two epistles to the Corinthians, which are now obscure because we are ignorant of the matters to which the apostle alludes in these passages. It is good for a man — Who is master of himself, and has his passions and appetites under due control; not to touch a woman — That is, not to marry; so great and many are the advantages of a single life, especially in the present calamitous state of the church. Nevertheless — Since the God of nature has, for certain wise reasons, implanted in the sexes a mutual inclination to each other; to avoid — That is, in order to prevent; fornication — And every other species of uncleanness and pollution; let every man — Who finds it expedient in order to his living chastely; have his own wife — His own, for Christianity allows no polygamy; and every woman her own husband — “Here the apostle speaks in the imperative mood, using the style in which superiors give their commands; but although he recommends a single life in certain circumstances, this and the injunction (1 Corinthians 7:5) given to all who cannot live chastely unmarried, is a direct prohibition of celibacy to the bulk of mankind. Further, as no person in early life can foresee what his future state of mind will be, or what temptations he may meet with, he cannot certainly know whether it will be in his power to live chastely unmarried. Wherefore, as that is the only case in which the apostle allows persons to live unmarried, vows of celibacy and virginity, taken in early life, must in both sexes be sinful.” — Macknight.

7:1-9 The apostle tells the Corinthians that it was good, in that juncture of time, for Christians to keep themselves single. Yet he says that marriage, and the comforts of that state, are settled by Divine wisdom. Though none may break the law of God, yet that perfect rule leaves men at liberty to serve him in the way most suited to their powers and circumstances, of which others often are very unfit judges. All must determine for themselves, seeking counsel from God how they ought to act.Now, concerning ... - In reply to your inquiries. The first, it seems, was in regard to the propriety of marriage; that is, whether it was lawful and expedient.

It is good - It is well. It is fit, convenient, or, it is suited to the present circumstances, or, the thing itself is well and expedient in certain circumstances. The apostle did not mean that marriage was unlawful, for he says Hebrews 13:4 that "marriage is honorable in all." But he here admits, with one of the parties in Corinth, that it was well, and proper in some circumstances, not to enter into the marriage relation; see 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, 1 Corinthians 7:26, 1 Corinthians 7:28, 1 Corinthians 7:31-32.

Not to touch a woman - Not to be connected with her by marriage. Xenophon (Cyro. b. 1) uses the same word (ἅπτω haptō, "to touch") to denote marriage; compare Genesis 20:4, Genesis 20:6; Genesis 26:11; Proverbs 6:29.

1Co 7:1-40. Reply to Their Inquiries as to Marriage; the General Principle in Other Things Is, Abide in Your Station, for the Time Is Short.

1. The Corinthians in their letter had probably asked questions which tended to disparage marriage, and had implied that it was better to break it off when contracted with an unbeliever.

good—that is, "expedient," because of "the present distress"; that is, the unsettled state of the world, and the likelihood of persecutions tearing rudely asunder those bound by marriage ties. Heb 13:4, in opposition to ascetic and Romish notions of superior sanctity in celibacy, declares, "Marriage is HONORABLE IN ALL." Another reason why in some cases celibacy may be a matter of Christian expediency is stated in 1Co 7:34, 35, "that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction." But these are exceptional cases, and in exceptional times, such as those of Paul.1 Corinthians 7:1-9 Marriage is to be used as a remedy against fornication. 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 Christ hath forbidden to dissolve the bond thereof. 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 Directions how to act where one of the parties is an

unbeliever. 1 Corinthians 7:17-24 Every man must abide in and fulfil the duties of the

state wherein he was called. 1 Corinthians 7:25-38 Directions concerning the marriage of virgins,

respecting the distress of the times, 1 Corinthians 7:39,40 and concerning the second marriage of widows.

It seemeth, that though this church was very much corrupted, yet some of them retained a reverence for this great apostle, and had wrote one or more letters to him about some points, to which he returneth answer. It seemeth that one thing they had wrote to him about, was about marriage; not about the lawfulness of marrying, (that doctrine of devils was not broached so early in the world), but concerning the advisableness of marriage, and men’s use of their wives, in that afflicted state of the church. The apostle answereth, that

it is good for a man not to touch a woman. When he saith: It is good, he means only more convenient, or better, with respect to the troubled state of the church, or that persons might be more at liberty for the service of God and the duties of religion. Upon these accounts it were more convenient for a man not to marry, for that he meaneth by touching a woman.

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me,.... Though the false apostles had greatly influenced the members of this church, yet there were many among them that had a very great respect for the apostle, and kept up a correspondence with him, though at a distance from him, by writing; in which way they informed him of their doubts and difficulties, that arose in their minds about certain things, and desired his judgment in them, to which they paid a very great deference. The things they wrote to him about, here referred to, may be collected from the contents of this chapter, and some others following; as whether a Christian man ought not to abstain from the use of women; whether a believer ought to live with an unbelieving yoke fellow; whether such as had been circumcised should not make use of some methods to draw on the foreskin of their flesh; whether apprentices, who were called by the grace of God, ought to serve out their time with their masters; and concerning celibacy or virginity, the eating of things offered to idols, and the maintenance of ministers: and he begins with the first; to which he answers,

it is good for a man not to touch a woman; which is to be understood, not of merely touching a woman, which can neither be criminal, nor in all cases inexpedient, or be attended with any ill, or dangerous consequences; nor of the matrimonial contract, which is lawful and honourable; but of the act of carnal copulation with a woman: in this sense the Jews use the phrase,

"there are three (they say (r)) that fled from transgression, and the blessed God joined his name with them; and they are these, Joseph, and Joel, and Phalti. Joseph, as appears from what is said, Psalm 81:5 "a testimony in Joseph is his name"; what is the meaning of the phrase "in Joseph?" this testifies concerning him, , "that he did not touch Potiphar's wife" (i.e. he did not lie with her); Jael, as is clear from what is said, Judges 4:18 "and Jael went forth to meet Sisera, and she covered him with a mantle"; what is the meaning of the phrase, (which is rendered, "with a mantle";) our Rabbins here (in Babylon) say with a linen cloth; but our Rabbins there (in the land of Israel) say with bed clothes; says Resh Lekish, if we run over the whole Scripture, we shall not find any household goods so called; wherefore what is it? it is all one as , "my name is thus": and the meaning is, my name witnesses concerning her, , "that that wicked one (Sisera) did not touch her" (s); (i.e. had not carnal knowledge of her;) Phalti, as is evident from hence, one Scripture says, "and Saul gave Michal his daughter to Phalti", 1 Samuel 25:44 and another Scripture says Phaltiel; sometimes he is called Phalti, and sometimes he is called Phaltiel; who takes Phalti? and who gives Phaltiel? but I testify concerning him; , "that he did not touch David's wife"; (i.e. did not lie with her;)''

see Genesis 20:6. And in this sense also is the word "touch" used, both by Greek and Latin authors. The apostle's meaning is not that it is unlawful to marry, or that it is sinful to lie with a woman in lawful wedlock; but that it is much better, and more expedient on several accounts, to abstain from the use of women, when persons have the gift of continency.

(r) Vajikra Rabba, sect. 23. fol. 164. 4. & 165. 1. Vid Shemot Rabba, sect. 1. fol. 91. 4. (s) Vid. Kimchi in Jud. iv. 18.

Now {1} concerning the things {a} whereof ye wrote unto me: It is {b} good for a man not to touch a woman.

(1) He teaches concerning marriage that although a single life has its advantages, which he will declare afterwards, yet that marriage is necessary for the avoiding of fornication. But so that neither one man may have many wives, nor any wife many husbands.

(a) Concerning those matters about which you wrote to me.

(b) Commodious, and (as we say) expedient. For marriage brings many griefs with it, and that by reason of the corruption of our first estate.

1 Corinthians 7:1. Δέ] leads over to the answering of questions put in the letter from Corinth.

ἐγράψατέ μοι] Differences of opinion must have prevailed respecting the points discussed in this chapter, and these had been laid before the apostle by the church. In particular, there must have been at Corinth opponents of marriage. This is wrongly denied by Baur, who imagines merely an attempt made among the Corinthians to defend fornication from the analogy of marriage; of which there is not a trace in the apostle’s words. Whether, now, the doubts in question, more especially as to the lawfulness of marriage,[1050] were mixed up with the subsistence of the parties at Corinth, it is impossible to make out with any certainty, although in itself it seems likely that a matter of opinion so important practically would be turned, with other points, to account in the interest of party. Grotius holds that those who raised such points of debate were “sub Christianorum nomine philosophi verius quam Christiani.” But such of the Greek philosophers as advocated views adverse to marriage did so upon the ground of the cares and dangers connected with marriage (see Grotius in loc[1051]), not from any doubt regarding its morality, as, according to 1 Corinthians 7:28; 1 Corinthians 7:36, must have been the case among the Corinthians. Further, it is certain that the adversaries of marriage could not be of the Petrine party; for Peter himself was married (Matthew 8:14; 1 Corinthians 9:5), and the Judaizing tendency, which cannot be proved to have had an Essene-Ebionitic character in Corinth (Schwegler, I. p. 163 f.[1052]), could be nothing else but favourable to marriage (see Lightfoot, Horae, p. 189). Olshausen (comp also Jaeger, Kniewel, Goldhorn, Ewald) decides for the Christ-party, in whose idealistic tendency he considers there were contained the germs both of moral indifference and of false asceticism. But this party’s idealism in general is a pure hypothesis, which is as little established by proof as their Essenism in particular, to which Ewald traces back the rejection of marriage among the Corinthians.[1054] In the last place, that it was the followers of Paul (Storr, Rosenmüller, Flatt, Pott, Neander, Räbiger, Osiander, Maier; Rückert refuses to give a decision), who—in opposition, perhaps, to the Petrine party, and appealing to the celibacy of Paul himself, he never having been married (see on 1 Corinthians 7:8)—overvalued celibacy, and pronounced marriage to stand lower in point of morality and holiness, is the most likely view, for this reason, that the apostle’s sentiments upon this point were in themselves, as we see from the chapter before us, quite of a kind to be readily misunderstood or misinterpreted by many of his disciples—more especially in partisan interests—as being unfavourable to marriage.[1055] It merely required that men should overlook or wish to overlook the conditional character of the advantages which he ascribes to single life. The opponents of marriage referred to in 1 Timothy 4:3 were of a totally different class. Those with whom we are now concerned did not forbid marriage and so endanger Christian liberty (otherwise Paul would have written regarding them in quite another tone), but simply undervalued it, placing it morally below celibacy, and advising against it, hence, too, as respects married persons, favouring a cessation from matrimonial intercourse and even divorce (1 Corinthians 7:3 ff., 1 Corinthians 7:10 ff.).

καλὸν ἀνθρώπῳ] With respect to what you have written to me (ΠΕΡῚ Κ.Τ.Λ[1056], absolute, as in 1 Corinthians 16:1; 1 Corinthians 16:12; Bernhardy, p. 261; Bremi, a[1057] Demosth. Ol. p. 194; Maetzner, a[1058] Antiph. p. 170), it is good for a man, etc., that is to say: it is morally salutary[1059] for an (unmarried) man not to touch a woman. That, in a general theoretical point of view, is the prevailing axiom, which I hereby enunciate as my decision; but in a practical point of view, seeing that few have the gift of continence, the precept must come in: because of fornication, etc., 1 Corinthians 7:2. In Paul’s eyes, therefore, the γυναικὸς μὴ ἅπτεσθαι is, indeed, something morally salutary in and by itself; but this affirmation, made from a general point of view, finds its necessary limitation and restriction in the actual facts of the case, so that just according to circumstances marriage may be equally a duty. Hence the καλὸν κ.τ.λ[1060] is not appropriate for the defence of celibacy in general (“si bonum est mulierem non tangere, malum ergo est tangere,” Jerome, a[1061] Jovin. i. 4, and see especially Cornelius a Lapide in loc[1062]).

ἍΠΤΕΣΘΑΙ, like tangere in the sense of sexual intercourse (Genesis 20:16; Genesis 21:11; Proverbs 6:29). See Wetstein and Kypke, II. p. 204 f. Marriage is the particular case coming under this general γυναικὸς ἅπτεσθαι, to be treated of in detail hereafter. Rückert, failing to recognise this progress in the apostle’s argument (so, too, Kling in the Stud. u. Krit. 1839, p. 444), holds that the reference is to sexual intercourse in marriages already formed (and that nothing is said of entering into matrimonial connections). Did Paul, as Kling supposes, here give it as his opinion that “a chaste life, as of brother and sister, was more consonant, on the part of married persons, with delicacy of moral feeling” (καλόν); this would be a sentimental error, which ought not to be attributed to him, whether considered in itself, or in view of his high appreciation of marriage as a union of the sexes (2 Corinthians 11:2; Romans 7:4; Ephesians 5:28 ff.).

The axiom is enunciated without a μέν, because it is, in the first place, conceived simply in itself; the limitation which follows is added with δέ by way of antithesis. Comp on Ephesians 5:8, and Fritzsche, a[1064] Rom. II. p. 433. Precisely so, too, in 1 Corinthians 7:8.

[1050] If the opinion that fornication was lawful (1 Corinthians 6:12 ff.) arose at Corinth out of an Epicurean libertinism, the doubts regarding the lawfulness of marriage must have flowed from the opposite source, to wit, from the perverted moral extravagance of others, who, because of the intercourse of sex involved, counted marriage also an impure thing, and would have the maxim: καλὸν ἀνθμώπῳ γυναικὸς μὴ ἅπτεσθαι, to be of absolute and universal application.

[1051] n loc. refers to the note of the commentator or editor named on the particular passage.

[1052] One section of the Essenes even declared itself against celibacy, Josephus, Bell. ii. 8. 13; Ritschl, altkath. Kirche, p. 185.

[1054] According to Ewald (comp. too, his Gesch. der apost. Zeit. p. 503 f.), the Christ-party appealed to the example of Christ in regard to this point especially. But had that been the case, we should surely have found some traces of it in Paul’s way of discussing the question, whereas, on the contrary, the reference which he deems it due to make is rather to his own example (ver. 7). Looking at the matter as a whole, it is prima facie improbable that any one should have adduced the unwedded life of Christ as an argument against marriage—in the first place, because He, as the incarnate Son of God, held too lofty a place in the believing consciousness to present a standard for such earthly relationships; and secondly, because He Himself in His teaching had so strongly upheld the sanctity of marriage.

[1055] Just as they were often misinterpreted, as is well known, in after times in the interests of the celibate system, of nunneries and monasteries.

[1056] .τ.λ. καὶ τὰ λοιπά.

[1057] d refers to the note of the commentator or editor named on the particular passage.

[1058] d refers to the note of the commentator or editor named on the particular passage.

[1059] That we have in καλὸν κ.τ.λ. a moral axiom, a statement of what is ethically salutary, not a mere utilitarian principle of practical prudence, is clear, especially from the comparison in the last clause of ver. 9, and from vv. 32–34, where the ethical benefit of it is explained.

[1060] .τ.λ. καὶ τὰ λοιπά.

[1061] d refers to the note of the commentator or editor named on the particular passage.

[1062] n loc. refers to the note of the commentator or editor named on the particular passage.

[1064] d refers to the note of the commentator or editor named on the particular passage.

1 Corinthians 7:1-9. § 20. MARRIAGE OR CELIBACY? At this point the Ap. takes up the questions addressed to him by the Cor[993] Church (see Introd., chap. 2). In replying to Paul’s previous letter, they had asked for clearer instructions to regulate their intercourse with men living in heathen sins (1 Corinthians 7:5); this request led up to the inquiries respecting the desirability of marriage, respecting the duties of married Christians, and the lawfulness of divorce for a Christian married to a heathen, with which ch. 7 is occupied. The headings of 1 Corinthians 7:1; 1 Corinthians 7:25, chh. 8, 11, 16, indicate various matters on which the Cor[994] had consulted their Ap. The local impress and temporary aim of the directions here given on the subject of marriage must be borne in mind; otherwise Paul’s treatment will appear to be narrow and unsympathetic, and out of keeping with the exalted sense of its spiritual import disclosed in Ephesians 5. Indeed, ch. 1 Corinthians 11:3-15 of this Ep. show that P. had larger conception on the relations of man and woman than are here unfolded. The obscurity of expression attaching to several passages betrays the writer’s embarrassment; this was due partly to the low moral sensibility of the Cor[995], and partly to the uncertain continuance of the existing order of life (1 Corinthians 7:26-31), which weighed with the Ap. at the time of writing and led him to discourage the formation of domestic ties. In later Epistles, when the present economy had opened out into a larger perspective, the ethics of marriage and the Christian household are worthily developed (see Col. and Eph.).

[993] Corinth, Corinthian or Corinthians.

[994] Corinth, Corinthian or Corinthians.

[995] Corinth, Corinthian or Corinthians.

Ch. 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. Advice concerning Marriage and Celibacy

1. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me] The newly converted Corinthians had evidently found themselves in a difficulty concerning marriage. The Jews in general, whatever ascetics like the Essenes and Therapeutæ among them may have done, set a high value upon it; while the best of the heathen philosophers were inclined to depreciate it, and certain sayings of our Lord (see St Matthew 19:5-12) seemed to support their view. The Corinthians had evidently written to consult St Paul on the point. The Apostle’s advice may be thus summarized: that though the unmarried were, from their freedom from all entangling ties, most at liberty to serve God in any way that He might put before them, and though in the present season of temptation and persecution (1 Corinthians 7:26; 1 Corinthians 7:28) the unmarried would be spared much trial and anguish which would fall heavily upon married persons, yet that it was the duty of those who, in an unmarried state, were in danger of offending against that solemn law of Christian purity which he had just laid down, to “marry, and so keep themselves undefiled members of Christ’s Body.” The growth in these luxurious days of habits at variance with the simple and unostentatious life of the true Christian, places great difficulties in the way of those who would follow St Paul’s advice, and is, therefore, the cause of an amount of immorality and misery which it were better to prevent than to be compelled to cure.

1 Corinthians 7:1. Περὶ δὲ ὧν ἐγράψατε, Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote) He sets before us his subject at the first with elegance, rather generally than particularly. The apostles in their epistles often treat of marriage; the apostle Paul alone, once and not of his own accord, but when he was asked, advises celibacy, and that too very gently. [So far is this from being a subject, which ought to be obtruded upon mankind by human precepts.—V.g.]—καλὸν, good) This agrees with the feeling, which pervades the preceding chapter. Comp. below 1 Corinthians 7:7-8; 1 Corinthians 7:26; 1 Corinthians 7:34, in the middle of the verse, 35 at the end, 40. It is good, i.e. becoming, suitable, for the sake of liberty and exemption from what is due [by a husband to his wife], 1 Corinthians 7:3, and for the sake of keeping one’s ‘power,’ which he has over himself undiminished, 1 Corinthians 7:4; though on the other hand touching, 1 Corinthians 7:1, has always modesty as its accompaniment among them that are chaste.—ἀνθρώπῳ, for a man) in general, although he be not a Christian, 1 Corinthians 7:7; 1 Corinthians 7:26.—γυναικὸς, a woman) and in like manner for the woman not to be touched. In what follows, the one relation involves the other.

Verses 1-40. - Answers to the inquiries of the Corinthians respecting marriage. Verses 1-11. - The lawfulness of marriage, and its duties. Verse 1. - Now concerning. This refers to questions of the Corinthians (comp. 1 Corinthians 7:25; 1 Corinthians 8:1; 1 Corinthians 12:1). It is good for a man not to touch a woman. The word used is not agathon, good, but kalon, fair; "an excellent thing." In ver. 26 he limits the word by the clause, "good for the present necessity." There is no limitation here, and it is probable that St. Paul is quoting the actual words of the letter which he had received from Corinth. There had sprung up among them some antinomians, who, perhaps by perverting his own teaching or that of Apollos, had made liberty a cloak of lasciviousness. In indignant reaction against such laxity, others, perhaps, with Essene proclivities, had been led to disparage matrimony as involving an inevitable stain. Gnosticism, and the spirit which led to it, oscillated between the two extremes of asceticism and uncleanness. Both extremes were grounded on the assertion that matter is inherently evil. Ascetic Gnostics, therefore, strove to destroy by severity every carnal impulse; antinomian Gnostics argued that the life of the spirit was so utterly independent of the flesh that what the flesh did was of no consequence. We find the germs of Gnostic heresy long before the name appeared. Theoretically, St. Paul inclines to the ascetic view, not in the abstract, but in view of the near advent of Christ, and of the cares, distractions, and even trials which marriage involved in days of struggle and persecution. Yet his wisdom is shown in the cautious moderation with which he expresses himself. The tone of the letter written by Gregory the Great to Augustine with reference to similar inquiries about Saxon converts is very different. The example of St. Paul should have shown the mediaeval moralists and even the later Fathers how wrong it is "to give themselves airs of certainty on points where certainty is not to be had." Not to touch a woman. St. Paul means generally "not to marry" (comp. Genesis 20:4 [LXX.]). Celibacy under the then existing conditions of the Christian world is, he admits, in itself an honourable and morally salutary thing, though, for the majority, marriage may be a positive duty. He is not dreaming of the nominal marriages of mediaeval ascetics, for he assumes and directs that all who marry should live in conjugal union. 1 Corinthians 7:1It is good (καλὸν)

See on John 10:11. Not merely expedient, but morally salutary. The statement, however, is made in the light of circumstances, see 1 Corinthians 7:26, and is to be read with others, such as 2 Corinthians 11:2; Romans 7:4; Ephesians 5:28-33, in all which marriage is made the type of the union between Christ and His Church. See also Hebrews 13:4.

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Book Review| Xodus by K.J. McPike

Title: Xodus

Series: Astralis

Author: K.J. McPike

Genre: YA, Urban Fantasy, Paranormal

Pages: 389

Format: Kindle

Published: September 19th 2015

Disclaimer: I received this book from the author in exchange for a honest review. I want to thank the author for sending me this book. I also want to apologize for the late review.

All Lali Yavari wanted for her sixteenth birthday was for her mom to come back. Instead, she starts flashing between realities and seeing people disappear before her very eyes. Then the unsettling Kai Awana shows up at school, and Lali soon discovers she has inherited the ability to astral project—with a surprising twist. When Kai offers to use his own unique ability to help Lali find her mother in exchange for her help on a misguided mission, she can’t refuse…even if she’s not quite sure she can trust him.

In her thrilling urban fantasy debut, award-winning author K.J. McPike takes us on a ride with “enough tantalizing twists and turns to captivate readers, transforming them into instant fans” (SPR). Don’t miss this whirlwind adventure, where what one girl learns about her mother’s past will make her question everything she thought was true—and just might put her family in even more danger.

A comment –

I started to read this novel in Nov.-Dec. 2015. I couldn’t get into the story back then. However, it had nothing to do with Xodus not being for me – even thou initially I thought that was the case. I’ve been unable to get into reading and reviewing for a while now. I think I just needed a book-break. After I started enjoying reading again, I had no problem getting pulled into Xodus’ world. Same goes for other novels.

My Review

Honestly, at first I thought Xodus will be your average YA – Paranormal novel. You know, something like this:

Girl meets Boy.
Girl is obsessed with Boy because Boy is super hot.
Boy isn’t interested due to some dark secret or personal issue.
Turns out Boy is a werewolf or some other supernatural creature.
Girl and Boy fall in love.
They get together.
The supernatural element is just the backstory that creates drama and problems.
They break up because of some miscommunication or something else in order to create more drama.
They get back together.
The End.

While the above plot is not necessarily bad, since I did enjoy reading books that fallowed that trend, reading something different is like a breath of fresh air.

 Well, Xodus let me down. It is not what I thought it would be.  🙂

For short, I think Xodus is one of the best YA books I’ve read in months. A very good opener to a new series.

As the blurb says, Lali’s mother get up one day and left with no explanation. Therefore, the main plot of the novel is Lali trying to find her beloved mother. On her 16th birthday, her astral projecting power is awaken, a power that becomes instrumental in finding her mother, discovering a new world and a new kind of people, finding out secrets and enemies.

Lali’s mother is from another dimension, another world. They can reproduce with human, so the Astrali people are not a different species. Astralis have all sorts of powers that are passed on to their children, including the ones that have one human parent. People like Lali are called Semmies, because they’re half-Astralis. They have unique powers and apparently they are also stronger than Astralis: teleportation, reading minds, astral projecting, going back in time, seeing the future and so on.

I liked the fact that Lali is not the only one that has special powers. Her brothers and sister also develop interesting powers, since they’re also Semmies; Kai also has a unique and useful power. In other words, all Semmies characters have interesting, useful and unique powers; Lali is not the special snow-flake in this novel.

I also appreciated the fact that Lali worked on developing and  improving her powers; in other words, she is not a lazy character. Also, she puts her family first, which is rare in YA novels.

Xodus a little bit of romance, but it’s not the main plot. It’s more like a small sub-plot, there in the background. The focus is the action, and the world building.

The novel is a relatively fast read. Since this is a 1st person narrative, there are some interior monologues from the protagonists, Lali. Sometimes they can be a little bit boring or annoying for me – some people like being in the protagonist’s head, and they will have no problem with them.

Which brings me to what I didn’t like about this novel. Lali was a little bit naive and didn’t trust her intuition. Kai waltzed into her life out of the blue, and she trusted him way too much, way too soon. Sure, she needed him to develop her power and to find her mother. However, I would’ve like her to be more cautious. And when Kai gave her hints that he’s being dishonest, she should’ve went with her guts – she wasn’t clueless. If I were her, I would’ve spy on him daily and see what he’s up to; especially since Lali can astral-project.

I think I’ve said enough. I don’t want to ruin the book by writing too many spoilers. Personally, I love spoilers, but I know not everyone is like, well, me.

Overall, I enjoyed Xodus and I recommend it to everyone who loves YA novels. It’s entertaining, unique, and it has a little bit of everything.

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Going Through Divorce Without a Lawyer, Not a Good Idea

Going through divorce without a lawyer is probably one of the worst things that you could do. Without a lawyer you will simply not get a fair share. Judges do not want to deal with people, and they want to talk to lawyers. If your ex does not have a lawyer then you may be okay but if they do, you are definitely going to want to make sure that you get the best divorce lawyer.

If you need a divorce attorney to handle your case, remember that they are going to be able to help you deal with all the legal issues surrounding your divorce, issues that you would probably miss if you just tried to take on the case yourself. A divorce lawyer will be particularly important if you and your spouse have been married for several years and share property, savings, or other larger financial issues.

Finding a Lawyer

Now that you understand why you should not go through divorce without a lawyer, you will need to go through the process of actually finding a lawyer, and there are a few important factors to take into consideration here.

There are tons of divorce lawyers located all around the globe, but you will generally want to find one in your local area because you are going to need to be traveling back and forth from them, for meetings and to talk with them. Therefore you do not want it to be a huge inconvenience to you, as it would be if you had to drive for extended periods of time just to get to them.

As you can see, it is very important not to go through divorce without a lawyer. You may not be able to patch things up with your spouse, but to ensure that things are going to be fair, then you never want to go through divorce without a lawyer. If you do decide to go through your divorce without a lawyer, just make sure that you are educated and understand what you are getting into.

You are really going to need to be prepared going into this, and never want to head into court without a clue as to what you are doing.

Divorce can definitely be a tricky issue to deal with, but perhaps the most difficult of all is going through court and finding a way to untangle all the financial and sentimental items.


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Makalu update September 22, 2012 at 04:08PM – Up we go

This is just a quick note to let you know that we are leaving base camp on 24 September and are hoping to be near or on the summit at the end of the month. The weather is looking very promising for this period, which we certainly need for our oxygen less ascent.

Please keep your fingers crossed that everything will go well on this big hill, and I’ll inform my robot once we are back down the hill.

Thanks for all your support and good wishes. They are very motivating and inspiring 🙂

5 Responses

  1. Karin Kamp said on September 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    I’m done with this shit Billi. Listening to report on Manaslu on BBC and now I’ve had enough. Get your little ass home. Frau Kamp

  2. Ashley said on September 24, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    So upset to learn about mountaineers on Manaslu, and relieved to realize you’re on Makalu. Very sorry for the loss of life. xo

  3. Dagmar said on September 24, 2012 at 12:28 am

    be safe Dx&Mx&Wx

  4. Bethan said on September 23, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    Happy to read you at in Makalu, not Manaslu. Hope all well xx

  5. Marion said on September 23, 2012 at 8:41 am

    Hill… you are funny!
    Good luck!
    Alles Gute!

Leave a Reply


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Municipality Of Germantown Login, Bill Payment & Customer Support Information

Learn about how to login, bill payment options, how to set up Auto Pay, how to cancel account and other helpful tools for your Municipality Of Germantown account.

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Municipality Of Germantown Bill Payment

It offers online bill payment facility to all its users and provides several different methods to pay bills. You can pay your bill online at Municipality Of Germantown's website, mail your payment to the processing center, or pay your bill in person at any authorized location. It also provides you with the option to set up automatic bill payments online and make alternative payment arrangements. You can also cancel account and contact customer support online.

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By mail: You can mail your check to 75 N Walnut Stgermantown, Oh 45327. Before sending the payment you should call the customer service number 937-355-7260 for reconfirmation.

By phone: Use the automated system to make a payment. The phone number is 937-355-7260.

In Person: Pay at any of the nationwide customer service centers.

Municipality Of Germantown Customer Support

Average Waiting time: 5 minutes.

Below you can find best ways to contact Municipality Of Germantown support according to 24041 billpaymentonline users.

Phone Numbers
  • 937-355-7260 (Contact)
  • (937) 855-7255 (Support)
  • 75 N Walnut Stgermantown, Oh 45327 (Headquarters)

Municipality Of Germantown Opening Hours

Monday 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Tuesday 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Wednesday 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Thursday 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Friday 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Saturday 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
Sunday Closed

More Information

Name Municipality Of Germantown
Also known as
Services Offered Other

Questions and Answers

How can I login into my account?

You can login into your account visit this link

Does it offer online bill payment facility?

Yes, it offers online bill payment facility. Credit Cards, Debit Cards and internet banking payment are accepted.

Where is the headquarters located at?

The headquarters of the company is located at: 75 N Walnut Stgermantown, Oh 45327

How can I contact customer support in case of any issues?

You can contact them by calling on following numbers:

  • 937-355-7260

  • (937) 855-7255

Does it have any social media page?

Yes, the company has profile(s) on :

Review Municipality Of Germantown