text:
Life’s Choices…

The chaos swirling in my mind pulls me deep into the pit of despair. I’ve found myself to be a fragile mess of sensitivity, shut down and paralyzed to life around me. I finally reached my limit and it’s broken me. I’m broken. I’m weak. I’m fragile. Something I’ve never wanted to be. Something I’ve never been. Something that just makes me sink deeper into myself and longing for a simple release from it all. Death doesn’t scare me so much anymore.

I went from being the rock, the picture of stability and strength to the mess I am now. And my choices have left me limited help and assurance. If only I can share the thoughts swirling through my brain. The deepest of the deep in my emotions, feelings, and view upon the matter. I feel stuck. I have absolutely no one to confide in all the secrets in my heart other than God and right now, I’m not so happy with Him. I’m pretty sure, he’s not so happy with me either.

I’ve made my bed and believe me, I’m laying in it. Hind sight… Not much I can do about it now. Choices… No point in the ‘if only’s’. Is this depression? I’m not typically a depressed person. I’ve always been fairly positive and happy go lucky for the most part, knowing I do suffer anxiety and that’s been pretty maxed out the last couple years. Can intense anxiety trigger depression?

It’s been coming at me from so many directions all at the same time, my life’s been flipped upside down and I’ve landed on my head, face first in the dirt and muck and I’m not sure quite how to turn it all around. I unhealthily day dream endlessly for financial winnings, the lottery, HGTV dream home, other sweepstakes, ect to at least lift the financial pressures and provide the financial security that can at least pay away some of the issues plaguing me. I can simply hire the help. I could know my children’s futures were taken care of. I could get out of the noose this home and our bills has tightened around our necks. It would solve a lot of our problems and pay to solve those that need more hands on deep work that seem only available to the rich.

The way our world’s going, I’m so ready for God to come back and fulfill the prophesies left unfulfilled in the Bible. Regardless of others beliefs, I believe it will happen. I believe it’s about that time. I’m not so happy with the world we’re living in and corruption is so deep and lies so tainted that we’re not truly free. We’re not truly living the ‘American Dream’ that allowed our country to be one of the greatest of the greats.

Having to come to terms with my health issues, knowing I will most likely never get better, that THIS IS my life. No cures, no fixes, no real medicine to treat the problem, only pills to mask the symptoms and provide some blessed relief from the pain and insomnia but nothing that helps the heavy limb fatigue that weighs me down. Nothing to stop the world from spinning upon rising and trying to fade to black. Nothing to stop the sensory issues that keep me hiding in a quiet corner, limiting my interactions.

This wasn’t quite the life I pictured for myself. This wasn’t my dream. I always hoped that one day a doctor would solve it. I just needed to hold on and find the right one. Took 15 years to put a name to a couple of the health issues I suffer with. 15 years!!! 15 years to be taken seriously. 15 years to have someone quit blaming anxiety or simply throw me into PT expecting all to get better. 15 years for someone to finally care and want to dig into it. And then she up and left me after being my doctor for a couple years. That was a crushing blow. But I’ve made some progress in getting my answers, a bitter little pill knowing that it will not get better.

Those who suffer ME/CFS seem to have a 5 year window. If you don’t get better within that time-frame, it’s your new buddy for life. I’ve had it for 20 years. Waxing and waning giving me bits of reprieve but always coming back until the last time it never left. It stopped waxing and waning at the mostly functioning level and now simply waxes and wanes at a disabled level. It also seems that a chunk of my medical conditions have also gotten worse with age/time. POT syndrome was like my ME/CFS in it’s waxing and waning though it had always been worse than my ME/CFS in a flare up. It can cause me to be just as weak and fatigued but it too seems to be hanging on and not giving me much reprieve. Just compounds the problem.

Then there’s my bone inflammation. I’ve never had an answer for that one. 5 years! 5 freaking years of intense deep severe bone pain that put me in a wheelchair and left me unable to walk far or without excruciating pain. No answers. Just inflamed hip/thigh bones that felt like they were expanding and ready to burst open, pulling my muscles off my bones along with it. I’m thankful it’s gone down. I’m thankful to have a reprieve from the intensity of that pain. Will it come back? I’ve felt inklings of the pain pushing to the forefront when overdoing it trying to walk, making up for lost time. It’s still quite painful to walk in my muscles and joints but the bones are holding. Every little niggle of bone pain though…. scares the hell out of me, jump-starting my anxiety with questions on whether or not it will come back. If they couldn’t give me a name for what I suffered, how can I know? The limbo it’s left me in is devastating and mind screwing as I simply don’t know if my ability to walk will be taken from me again. Granted, I can’t walk long without breaks or without pain but I can WALK!! Oh how so many take that for granted.

I’m one of those people who NEED to be productive. I’m a hard worker at heart and sitting here day in and day out watching life pass me by, watching things pile up, left undone, building my list of things need doing, just added to all the frustration and havoc swimming in my mind. I’m a doer. My release from anxiety, anger, and frustration is to clean or sing. I actually love to clean. How can one clean to release their frustration when they’re as disabled as I am? Yeah, kind of taking away my outlets for this bottled up frustration. I love to sing. Belting out a song as it washes away the tension and anger but guess what? Bet you never thought how much energy singing uses up. Guess what? It’s a lot. How something as simple as singing is taken for granted. Imagine being so physically fatigued and short of breath that you can’t even sing without wearing yourself out and putting yourself in bed to recoup. All of my outlets taken from me. The music finally came back to me this week. I can handle just a little more than I use to. It’s something.

My life’s journey has taught me a lot. Hind sight.. Oh hind sight. How do you impart your wisdom on your children and make them listen rather than having them suffer some of the same mistakes? How do you protect them from the health complications that can surely be passed down to them? They say many of what I suffer is not genetic and my kids have low risk of acquiring them. Guess what? My son has been suffering like I do. Imagine watching your child hurt from doing simple tasks. Imagine the pain and anger from watching your own child suffer physically knowing the end result and how your own medical journey took 15 years and no real treatment… Why? Doesn’t he have enough on his plate? That crushes me. I fear for my daughter.

Being such giving people and helping when able and watching your extended family walk all over you and take advantage of you after years of helping them… that’s crushing. Realizing that no, you’ll never have the full love and acceptance from a parent that you’ve been seeking all your 43 years. The reality that psychologically, that’s what I’ve been seeking and the crushing truth that the gene is simply missing in that one. It’s not going to happen. Time to toughen up on that front and quit seeking out the acceptance and need for that kind of affection. That ship has now sailed, door closed, chapter ended, reality has finally hit home. I can only do the best for my own children, giving them what I’ve never had and trying to correct my own mistakes from my own upbringing. Life is tough.

And why oh why do I have to have such heart?!!! Why do I have to care so much about others? Even those who take advantage of me, I worry about their own well-being and situation and my son says I’m too soft. I’m a bit of an empath so I can feel the emotions of others around me and even though I know some of them have made their own beds to lie in, I still feel the sadness and gut wrenching feelings for them and don’t want to add to their troubles even if they earned and deserve it. Maybe that’s why family takes advantage. Maybe they innately recognize my heart and know I’ll be the net to catch them when they fall. I don’t want to be that net anymore. I struggle enough trying to take care of my self, let alone, my children. Time for people to stand on their own feet and pull their big person pants on and take care of themselves. I’m burnt. I’m done. I just wish I didn’t have to feel the feelings I feel about it.

All the weight pressing me down and paralyzing me, numbing my mind and shutting me off till I’m simply not functioning anymore. The rock has crumbled. Pieces of me scattered about and broken down wondering how to put it all back together again. I fought so hard to rise above the ashes of my childhood only to sink into a pit of despair in my adulthood. The fighter in me weakened and left with little fight in me anymore. My children have suffered because of it. I feel the guilt from that. Why did my health have to continue to be taken till I was left a blob watching life pass me by and then more hell piled on top with all the other issues that have been added to it. Wasn’t my health enough? Yes, choices, some of my own choices are responsible for some of it. My brain no longer thinking as sharply as it once was and decisions made that never should have… hindsight. Will I ever be able to pull myself from this rut? Can I win the lottery?

Life’s Downward Spiral… Dreaming of the lottery…

I’m sitting here with a heavy feeling of depression in my gut and tears at the back of my eyes. I feel despondent and at a loss with gut wrenching disappointment and pain in my heart, dreaming of winning the lottery or coming into some money to pay off my debts and simply disappear to a new place far away from my current one. People have let me down. I have let me down. Family, what’s that anymore(?) have let me down.

What is wrong with people in our world?? Why is it that so many look to take advantage of others and then throw it in their face, blaming them instead of manning up and taking responsibility in life? Why?!

I’ve always been a giver, someone who would never leave my family to suffer without offering my hand. We’ve helped nearly every one of our family members at some point in life, even at the expense of ourselves, always at the expense of ourselves (my own family).

Finding out that family doesn’t have our back in kind, doesn’t care about all we’ve done, doesn’t even hold to their basic obligations is worse than a slap in the face. My son says I’m too soft. I’m a bit of an empath, absorbing the emotions of those around me and always trying to help those in need to the best that I’m able. We’ve made decent choices in life to get us where we are financially, living a middle class existence but even still have middle class bills so though we bring in more than some each month, we put out just as much, leaving us still struggling to stay on top of things. Yes, not the best choices and expensive bills. We could have done better. Hindsight..

We actually were doing better just a few years ago, finally paying off bills minus the mortgage and car and living in a nice house that we updated with blood, sweat, and tears as well as a lot of money. We didn’t bat an eye at an evening out for dinner or having a wild Christmas as we worked hard to get us in that place in life. (Or rather hubby did but my disability helps since my health was destroyed and so I guess I earned it by taking one for the team many many moons ago).

Yes, I spoil my children as is my right to do so and my money as well. It is not your business or anyone else’s why I do what I do or how I spend what I spend and most are long term consequences of growing up poor and living on the streets and not having the things my children now do so damn it, I earned that right!! And people who judge and think spoiled actions are the cause of certain behaviors from a child with disabilities can fuck off and try raising their own child with disabilities or maybe do a little research and realize that regardless of ‘things’ the children get, those with the same disabilities still act in kind. It’s the hand we were dealt and I know I’m not alone in this struggle as many many families have children with the same hardships and behaviors regardless of how their raised or the money they have. I’ve LEARNED that and it’s not hard to do a little research realizing the same so you can get off your high horse and quit assuming their, “simply spoiled..”

When you punch a 5 year old in the chest, leaving a red mark for hours, don’t you judge me. When you make your own decisions leaving yourself struggling financially, don’t judge me because we have and you do not. When you complain about having to pick up your own dog’s shit once a week saying my own dogs shits are bigger than her dogs shits… WTF? When you say that you want to live near us so you can help with our burden and don’t want to be a burden on us yet you move out leaving a room full of trash, not cleaned, furniture in our backyard and don’t bother to take care of your mess…. WTF? When you think your phone bill to me, that I pay for on my account, is not as important to pay as your other bills, constantly putting it off and paying late, leaving me asking for the money… WTF? (That’s all I’ve got for you, kid, cause you’ve grown up and become a man. Proud of you). When you call your son’s a pregnant wife a “fucking whore” just because and leave out pictures of his ex wife on purpose, someone you also hate… WTF? When you rant and rave during your son’s wedding, causing a scene and ruining the moment… WTF? When you look at my happy little ultrasound picture of the baby inside me and you say, “Looks like she has a penis nose…” WTF? When you purposely come out into the garage while my child is in a raging meltdown just to bate and record him, egging him on, WTF? When you ask whether I’m your sister or you landlord when I’m asking for money you owe me, WTF? When you lived barely paycheck to paycheck, sleeping on couches, cars, ect cause you didn’t have a home of your own and then you tell me living at my home is like living in a Palace and you’re grateful but then when money is due and you move out, not wanting to pay up and then complain about the living conditions, WTF?

I’m just sitting here with a heavy fucking heart thinking about, dwelling on, all the things family has said and done to me over the years and it just blows my mind. Yet we sold that beautiful home of ours to buy a run down giant fix me upper with tons of room and no storage so we can have a place for family to stay, mainly my mother who can’t afford to live on her own, and gave up our great neighbors, children’s friends, and a comfortable fat financial situation to live in a home at the top of our means, with credit cards and loans maxing out to do the necessary fixes to this crappy house and all I can think is hindsight…… Why the fuck can’t hindsight be foresight and work just as well in my disabled foggy ass brain? Cry me a river, I regret it all.

Now I sit here dreaming about winning the lottery after knowing where all the ungrateful family stands, wishing for that sliver of financial security again and a nice pot of gold so I can give what you gave and finally stand up tall against those who’ve thought it cool to simply take advantage cause we were in a good financial position and rather than working with us, you decided to work against us and act like an ass during the process.. That would be nice. My son says I’m too soft. Well I’m not so soft anymore. I’ve hardened my heart or will be after it’s done being broken and I finish my pity party, pull up my boot straps and start moving forward again. I dream of winning the lottery, knowing it’s not reality and like Murphy’s law, when your down on your luck, I already had the almost winning ticket with one number off on each one, like a taunt and a poke… and yet I still keep dreaming.

On top of all that, a man who thinks he’s rules the roost, taking money away from my mom’s spousal support, 4 of 5 hundred court ordered and yet he takes and she has no backbone or knowledge to get it handled, depending on me to help her while I sit here bitter knowing that she rarely helps in turn and yet on top of that money, he owes her 2100$ (ish) in tax money he stole, $1200 in the stimulus check wrongly deposited into his account, and half of a check sent from the escrow on the house they sold… He thinks he can continue to control and dominate her financially while getting away with it and ignoring the court’s order and so far he has. She just needs to file the paperwork which is actually not easy to find due to crappy court system but I’d already started it for her and she’s too intimidated to get it done, again, waiting on me. If I don’t help her then she’s stuck with very little funds to live off which means it falls on our shoulders in the end. That will change. Mark (his name, haha) my words. That WILL change. Only scumbags take money from others…. Seems a lot of those around.

I’m not perfect. I make my own mistakes, I’m a sucky parent, mostly due to being disabled and having severe fatigue and body wide pain keeping me laid up on my back most days and brain fog with sensory issues leaving me seeking peace and quiet due to brain overload and I feel the heavy guilt every single minute of it. The guilt weighs me down and drags me to dark places knowing I don’t provide enough of the emotional support my children need even though they are indeed spoiled, making it up in one area but leaving deficits in others and I hate myself because of it. If I had one wish between money and health, I’d choose health every time cause I have enough skills and knowledge to do great things and yet I sit here, a blob, doing nothing but day dreaming of winning that damn lottery.

This crisis with the virus has really given prime opportunity to see how family reacts and how seriously they take the health of others, namely myself who suffers too many health issues placing me at high risk. I found it to be the old folks, who are also suppose to be at risk, who could care the least, living with the mentality that they if they get the virus, oh well, not stopping to realize that those actions can directly affect me, or not caring in the least… Yup, I know where everyone stands now. A bitter little pill I’m left to swallow. Daydreaming about living in another state, Oregon maybe, and buying a little homestead with lots of trees, where I can live in my own little oasis in peace away from all those who don’t truly value family and put their needs above themselves, a trait ingrained into us military folks… So I sit and dream…..

Mixed Emotions… The Virus Experience

I’ve discovered, during this virus situation, that my obsessive need to control my situation has led to intense bouts of anxiety and a ping ponging mix of emotions while living life in lock down and practicing social distancing. One minute, I’m perfectly fine with thoughts of this virus situation being overblown while the next minute I’m freaked out and obsessively trying to avoid catching it. I’m living with a roller coaster ride of emotions and ultimately, it boils down to my need for control.

Uncertainty sucks. With little being truly known, or simply being kept from us, about this virus, it’s hard to know how seriously to take it. I rarely get sick, but when I get sick, I get seriously sick! My immune system is actually pretty good considering how many health issues I battle but when struck with even the flu, it’s pretty serious for me. I do NOT want to catch this virus. I’ve heard everything from it being like HIV to being similar to the flu. From being immune to having it settle in the body and reactivating. Those living with ME/CFS know all about viruses living dormant in the body and choosing to come out and attack you from within. Though we don’t even have certainty with the cause of ME/CFS, the thought process is out there regarding a virus being a possible culprit. Are we adding another, even more damaging virus to the possibilities that already exist for us, living dormant in the body and breaking us down over time?

Those of us who struggle already with health issues that keep us living a normally functioning life understand just how precious life can be and just how serious we need to take this virus, regardless of the mixed messages about it. Those who are healthy will never truly understand our fears, our precautions, our anxiety… they don’t live day to day fighting to simply get up without pain and/or fatigue to manage even self care on the daily. Never has the above been so apparent than it is now, while dealing with a potentially devastating virus. Seeing how family members respond and how they either seek to protect themselves and us during this time or act carelessly around us has been very enlightening.

I discovered that most of my anxiety revolves around control. I simply do NOT have control over my own life and this virus when living with other members of the family and finding myself having to depend on each and every one of them to keep both themselves and each other safe during this time. I’ve dealt with control issues since I was a child. I simply cannot control every factor of my life and have the assurance that those around me will have my best interest in mind. Trust is hard to come by and I’m learning that truly, you can only trust yourself and that’s a sad reality that’s become glaringly obvious during this pandemic.

Trust is a fragile emotion, easily broken, and hard to build or maintain. I have little trust, reassurance, or control and that causes my anxiety to flare and my emotions to bounce all over the place. It is what it is and it’s just who I am. I’m not a very emotional person and tend to compartmentalize quite well. This makes me appear cold at times but it’s simply my mechanism of handling emotions that I hold close to the vest and keep guarded quite tightly. I’m not cold. I just handle my emotions differently. Childhood had a major impact on making me who I am and how I handle things. It is what it is..

When dealing with a situation like this, it becomes apparent who really has your best interest at heart and who doesn’t. That doesn’t help those with anxiety and truly highlights that obsessive need to control and the obvious little control we truly have. Each and every person in the home has the same job of protecting each other and themselves during this time. Each action affects those in the household. We’re not simply responsible for ourselves in a situation like this, we’re responsible for each other. Each action having a ripple effect that touches those around you leading to possible consequences that can be deadly. Think about that for a minute. It’s a good opportunity to see who is taking things seriously, who is flaunting their control in your face, and who could care less about your life when it comes down to the bottom line….

Maybe they don’t realize the psychology of it. Maybe they don’t realize the very basic need that exists to survive and how paramount trust is right now. Are they so shallow and self absorbed that they don’t even realize the reality of it? Poking fun and taking risks just to laugh inside themselves and thinking it’s all a game? Maybe this virus isn’t as bad as some say. But maybe it is. I don’t have all the answers. I can only live and react with the information given and give this experience a trial run of a SHTF apocalypse situation, with much self evaluation and garnering insight about those around me.

I have time on my hands at the moment and being a deep thinker, this situation has truly given me a look into my world during a crisis and rather than simply reading about it in one of my post apocalyptic story books, a chance to actually live in a SHTF situation on a small level, giving me more insight into both myself and that of my community. I just wish others would take this time to reflect on how fragile life can be and how important building trust and community really is. Those of us with health issues that dominate our lives already know a little about this. We know about isolation. We know about the need to rely upon others at times and how fickle people can be. Now we have a chance to really know seriously or not those around us take things. How important they place our life and health and how well we can trust they’ll have our backs, making sure not to expose us to something that can be more devastating to us than most.

I wonder how those people would feel if the shoes were on the other foot… How paranoid would they be if they’re own lives were lorded over by someone else. How they would react knowing the risks to themselves and having someone else take that risk so carelessly. Deep down inside, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to wanting to show people exactly how that feels. I’m not cold, I’m just tired of people being so damn self absorbed and careless with their own actions. Tired of seeing others think it’s all a big joke failing to realize the domino effect they put in place with their own actions and how failing to realize how important it is to protect each other and build that trust, is the real foundation to a deeper relationship with others.

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what the truth of this situation is. I only know I have anxiety over the severity of it, the need to control those around me to keep my own life and my children’s life safe in the event that this virus is as bad as some say and the realization that some of those closest to me don’t have our best interest at heart. That’s a hurtful discovery. But at least now I know. It just makes me think, that if I had money and a bug out shelter in the event of a large scale SHTF scenario, my circle of peeps would be quite small. Trust. It’s important. Maybe think about what truly matters in life.

The Corona Covid-19 Virus Experiment… My practice run

Is it real? Is it fake? Is it as bad as they say it is? The virus situation has caused a lot of mixed emotions… I find myself ping ponging between intense anxiety about contracting the virus and complete calm wondering if the whole thing is being overblown… So much misinformation and lack of total transparency. With so much time on our hands while we socially isolate and spend time as a family, this situation has led to a lot of deep thinking and pondering about life and what if’s…

With this experience, I’ve decided to just treat the situation as completely real, very dangerous, and go along with the government mandates of social distancing as well as wearing masks/gloves in public and washing my hands so much I have to soak them in lotion.. I’ve also decided to use this experience as a bit of an experiment.. a test per say of an apocalyptic event with SHTF. How well does my family respond? Can I trust them in this kind of situation? Will they have my life in mind and the life of my children if it came down to it? Can I trust them to have my back and put our family first?

So many questions that have netted some sad answers and put me in touch with a harsh reality I wish I hadn’t discovered. Scratch that, I’m glad I know. I’m just not happy with the outcome, but now I know. Who can I trust if SHTF and our world collapses and people need to band together to have each others back? Most people don’t think about that kind of situation but history often repeats itself and the world is fragile and fraught with dangers and possibilities even while life goes on and people are absorbed in their own little bubbles unaware of how precious and precarious life can be.

Things can change in a heartbeat and it’s important to be aware of that and know how you and your friends/family, even neighbors, would respond and react in those situations and this virus experience has provided a nice little window into exactly that… How do your friends and family respond? Can you trust them to take this seriously and do what they need to protect you and your family while protecting themselves? Or do they act recklessly putting you and your family of danger? Something to ponder…

I am happy to report that many in my community have risen to the occasion and stood up to help their neighbor. So many working tirelessly to help get hand made masks to people, food to those without, whatever needs that are not able to be met are being taken care of by many in our community of helpers that have stood up to help those in times of crisis.

This is good to know. It is my hope that if the world really went to shit and we were left to fend for ourselves that our community would band together to protect each other in time of need. Of course there will always be those who rise up to take and seek to dominate and control. I just hope there are more of us and less of them if something did happen in our country and we could indeed band together to keep our area going and protected and strong enough…

This little window into an apocalyptic event situation has been enlightening and disheartening while also encouraging and sad. I know who has my back within my own circle and I have a little glimpse into how my community might respond to a bigger event. I know which family members take my life and the lives of my children seriously, seeking to protect us and keep us out of harms way while also seeing the ones in my circle who only put themselves first and show no care or caution to me and my children. I was surprised by the outcome.

I also learned beyond the virus, who in my circle still stands to maintain obligations and agreements during financial crisis and who has kept in mind all that’s been done to help them on my own families dime. Money matters is a delicate topic that can make or break many. What I’ve discovered about family in general, to include other situations besides my own, is that some family seems to think that because we are family, bills are not as important or pressing as would be with a typical creditor. This is disheartening as we all have bills to pay and even though some are in a better financial position than others, that simply means there are bigger bills to pay as most of us spend more rather than save as we should and live below our means. A lesson we should all learn from. Hind sight…

It’s been an interesting mix of results. Family A might have my back with the virus but not with financial matters… Family B might pay those debts but could care less about exposing us to the virus… Which family member has loose lips and which guards our meager resources? Which member helps to secure needed supplies? Which member makes sure to secure their own supplies so they don’t come looking to drain my families?

An interesting experiment during this virus crisis has opened my eyes to how family would respond during a SHTF event, answering those lingering questions about my circle of people if the world did go to shit. I can’t say I’m happy about the results but I am happy to have an idea of who would take our lives seriously and who would have our backs. What does the future hold with this current situation? Will life eventually go back to normal or are we forever altered in how our lives will be from here on out? It’s hard living with this uncertainty and not knowing what life will look like even months from now. For now, I will continue to play it safe, keep my eyes and ears open and gather as much data as I can. Better safe than sorry, right?


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Minila (Blue/ Black/ Brown/ Red Switch)

FILCO new compact! Double thumb keyboard Fn

Intact key pitch of Majestouch, function keys (or less, Fn key) in the standardization of key by pressing together of, MINILA is a Minimum Layout version of Majestouch is a compact keyboard that kept to the minimum required number of keys.
Features of MINILA biggest is that it is arranged on both sides of the space key the Fn key two. I was assigned the operation of the Fn key to thumb are rarely used at the input. The right-handed because it can be operated Fn key in both the left and right thumb Furthermore, there is no restriction of left-handed. Keystrokes key of everything is possible without breaking the home position so to manipulate the Fn keys with your thumbs.
Discomfort is less in people have never used a keyboard-only array of normal, high-speed typing or more will be possible up to now if used once.
[Design rights acquired]

It is more convenient in the press together with the Fn key

For the same time holding down the Fn key "E" "S" "D" and "F", I was assigned the cursor key "→", "↓", "↑", "←", respectively. I have made it possible to enter a cursor key without destroying the home position of the left hand with this.
In addition, the Fn key; has assigned the "Back space" to push the same time "+". Input of "Back Space" is possible without breaking the home position of the right hand.
High-speed input further is possible by this master.

I can choose the keying sense of your choice

The switch to four ZF Electronics Co., Ltd. of different typing feeling (formerly Cherry Corporation) MX tea axis (tactile feel) / MX black axis (linear) / MX blue axis (click tactile) / MX red axis (linear) respectively I was prepared.

To change the key code via DIP switch on the back!

By manipulating the DIP switch on the back, you can and you can disable or change the key code as shown in the table below.
I turned OFF all the factory.

Print wonder None
Key pitch / key stroke 19mm / 4 ± 0.5mm
Size / weight 40mm height width 297 × depth 124 × (stand when using 46mm) / 680g (separate cable)
Interface USB2.0
Accessories USB cable (1.8m), replacement key cap, FILCO Key Puller
Notices of other RoHS compliant design registration pending

Add to Cart:

This product was added to our catalog on Friday 24 May, 2013.

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Excel Data Types is not enabled

New Contributor

I have installed Office 365 version 1909 installed in Portuguese Language. I'm looking for the feature of Stocks as part of Data Types, but that is not enabled in my Excel.

I have the last version of excel and office. I also removed the office and installed again, but the feature is still not enabled in my personal computer.

I need help to resolve this issue and make the usage of Stocks updates in my personal Excel.

Just for reference:

In my work, I use a desktop with Windows and Office 365 with Excel. Currently the version 1902 is installed and updates are controlled by the company and that is installed in English. The Stocks from Data Types are available correctly there.

5 Replies
Best Response confirmed by JoseAntonio_ (New Contributor)
It seems that you can add English as a language and that will allow it to appear. See the bottom FAQ on this page:

Hi @Tim_Heng

Unfortunatelly that does not work. I still dont have the stocks feature enabled in my Excel.

One possibility - I seem to recall that the Stocks feature will not be shown when you are not connected to the internet. Is your computer internet-enabled?

Hi Tim, thanks for your message.

Yes, my computer is connected to the internet. I also have another notebook in which I use the same MS Office installed and the Stock feature is enabled there and working properly. It is same version of Office and Excel.

Hi @Tim_Heng

Yes, you are right. I received support from Microsoft. They removed my office manually and completelly including registers and etc. After that, Excel was brand new, but without Data Types enabled. Then, they installed English language in my office and Data Types was launched. Now it is all right.

Thanks for your inputs.


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Categories: IBM Influx Red Hat

inRead invented by Teads In every corner, we find opportunity, laced with new and often unknown challenges. One of these obstacles surfaced in a conversation with Evan Kaplan, the Chief Executive Officer of @InfluxData, and Tim Hall the company’s vice president of Products. The rapid rise of #IoT means companies are sensor-enabling vast swaths of equipment. These newly #connecteddevices are producing enormous volumes of time series data, which are data measured over time. Examples of time series data are the measurements you’d get from temperature sensor and accelerometers. While there are many questions in IoT, companies must devise IT strategies that define how to collect, store, visualize and process time-series data. We could use the various Hadoop outgrowths to do this, but is that the best method for this type of data? Kaplan and InfluxData team believe companies should consider using a method for time series data. The company has developed a four-product platform that it calls the “TICK” stack, named for the four software components that collect, store, visualize, and process time-series data. In October 2017, DB-Engines, which ranks the popularity of data-management technologies, listed InfluxData as a leader in the time series data management category. The same company also noted that the time series data category is the fastest growing in popularity over the past 12 months. However, this portion of the market is still a tiny percentage of the overall database management market.

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Samsung Galaxy S7 and S7 Edge Price and Quick Overview

Finally the wait of all Samsung fans has ended, Samsung S7 was launched on 21st February 2016 in International market via Virtual Reality setup as the Chinese brand OnePlus did for its smartphone launch few months ago. But I think it will be not be instantly available for purchase in some countries, so wait a while guys, it will hit the stores near you, very soon.

On the Samsung’s product page for Galaxy S7 I have seen that they are enforcing the tagline “Rethink what a phone can do” and I really tried to think a lot but couldn’t understand it :wink: So, I continued with the features and specification details anyways, to see if I can find an answer.

Also Read: Samsung Galaxy J5 vs Galaxy J7 vs Samsung Galaxy S6

Looks (4/5)

galaxy s7 and s7 edge design

Design of Galaxy S7 and S7 Edge devices, looks fabulous, it has great curves, smoothness and perfect sexy slim body, I’m quite sure that you will get lusty when you will see and hold the device in your hand. The volume rockers and power button’s placement is same as all other Samsung smartphones, so if you are upgrading from Samsung smartphone, then you won’t find any trouble with buttons at all.

Additionally, as a safety the device is dust & water proofing, company claims that even after emerging the phone inn 1.5m deep water for 30 minutes it will work normally.

Camera (5/5)

galaxy s7 and s7 edge camera

Both the cameras of Galaxy S7 & S7 Edge has been optimized for low lighting conditions, so you should be now able to capture a noise free picture even in less light or indoor. And also for the first time in the smartphones these devices will have a dual pixel feature that will decrease the auto focus time drastically when changing scenes quickly.

There are 3 Camera feature that I liked a lot are; Motion panorama & Motion PhotoHyperlapse (so cool).

With the motion panorama feature you can capture sweeping movements in panoramas with motion, the image will be captured at the same time in seamless, stitched sequence of the clearest frames from the motion version.

The Motion Photo feature will capture moments of the 3 seconds ahead when you press the shutter button on the devices and then you can view all the frames and choose the best one to keep and erase the rest, with this you will be getting at least 1 best pic every time you click.

Hyperlapse is a nickname given by Samsung to the time-lapse feature, what basically hyperlapse does is that it can capture hours of video without filling up your memory as it is being fast forwarded in real time that means the duration of the video will be lot lesser than the actual shooting duration.

After the Samsung Galaxy J series smartphones, they started to include a front flash in all their new smartphones, and this is the only feature I genuinely miss in my Oneplus One, It also supports 120˚ wide selfie, so taking group selfie is now much more fun and no one will be left out.

Gaming (4/5)

galaxy s7 and s7 edge gaming

Seems like finally Samsung has understood that their devices are also being used by youngster who like to play music and hardcore games on their smartphones. They have included some Vulkan API that will increase the effects of the games dramatically when playing games developed with that API, such as Need for Speed No Limits and Star Wars Galaxy of Heroes.

S7 will now include a Game launcher (another bloatware) that will automatically  organize all the games in one folder for easier access and you can also mute the game notifications, adjust game settings to save your battery juice.

But, I’m in love with the new “Game Tools” that can be used to:

  1. Hide all alerts while you are playing games.
  2. You can now lock your Recent apps and Back Keys, no more exit by mistake at critical points.
  3. You can also minimize your game for doing another task.
  4. Ever wondered about taking screenshots and screencast while playing games on your Android device?, Yup, you guessed it right, it is now possible.

Final Question, How Much Does it Costs?

If you want to order for the Galaxy S7 you will have wait till 23rd when the pre-order will be started, the Galaxy S7 is priced around $670 and the S7 Edge comes in at $780. You can also check out the cheaper smartphones such Samsung Galaxy On5 and Samsung Galaxy On7.

February 22nd, 2016

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Soft Launch Patch Notes 1.10

New Features

Champions, we are extremely happy to announce that Battleverse Champions is now available in New Zealand!

Introducing our newest playable champion, Umbra!

From a cold and corporate world full of intrigue and murder, Umbra is an assassin of near unparalleled martial skill and strength. With carefully honed agility her combat style focuses on misdirection, planning, and ferocity. Wielding a Chakram-like weapon, Umbra is capable of high burst damage and medium-range pokes. While defense may be sacrificed, mobility potential is heightened making player skill an ever defining factor.

Want a way to earn even more from your prowess in the Battleverse Arena? Now you can! With the introduction of this feature, players can now complete daily, weekly, and monthly challenges which reward glory (our in-game currency), champion abilities, and special foil edition of champion abilities!

  • On a daily basis players can complete three challenges, each awarding 5 glory. If you complete all three you can claim the daily award of 50 glory.
  • Every week, resetting on Sunday 00 UTC, if you complete 15 daily challenges you can claim your weekly challenge reward which is a random ability and 200 glory.
  • Lastly, resetting on the 1st of the month at 00 UTC, if you complete 45 daily challenges throughout the month you can claim a random foil ability and 1200 glory!

Vs. Bots Rewards

Players can now earn rewards from Vs. Bot matches. The harder the bot, the better the rewards! Do you have bad internet? We thought about that! Vs. Bot matches are played locally on your mobile device so you don’t have to worry about lag, allowing you to continue to earn your way to the top! Note you will still require an internet connection.

  • Combat text now scales the size based on the amount of damage done.
  • Bots are not less bot-like! More changes to come!
  • Champions now stand on platforms, floating in space can be so tiring.
  • We have now set the default resolution to 720p. If you have a badass phone you can increase this in our video settings using the “gear” on the main menu.
  • Trophy and Challenge toasts have been updated.
  • We added new trophies, and made some available to earn in the tutorial. Make sure to check them out in the Trophies section on the main menu!
  • Added Umbra to Vs. Bots.
  • Added coutdown sound effect to round start.

  • Added a new generic “slow” visual effect to make it more clear you’ve been slowed.
  • Updated the color of champion’s super meter.
  • All roots now display a common visual effect if you get hit by them. Roots prevent you from moving for a duration of time.

  • Hugo: Wildblow: Decreased the attack radius from 6 meters to 5 meters.
  • Takedown will no longer occasionally throw champions out of the map.

  • Made toxin effects more noticeable.

Make sure to follow us on your favourite flavour of social media and join our Discord for upcoming showcases on Umbra and her unique battle brand. Now, Get in the arena and execute what may potentially be the most challenging contract Umbra has ever taken on!

See a bug? Report it in-game by tapping the “?” on the main menu! You can also let us know more by posting in Bugs: #bug-reporting. Feedback: #feedback-and-suggestions Support:


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TXT Sampaikan Salam Chuseok dengan Memakai Hanbok

By Aisya J.

TXT / credit = BigHit Entertainment

Tomorrow by Together atau TXT yang merayakan Chuseok untuk pertama kalinya setelah debut, kemarin (11/09) melalui fancafe TXT Weverse dan sosial resmi mereka, membagikan video ucapan hari raya Chuseok dengan memakai baju tradisional Korea, Hanbok.

Dalam video tersebut, TXT menyampaikan salam Chuseok dengan memakai Hanbok dan penampilan mereka yang masih remaja dan penuh ceria.

Member TXT menyampaikan, “Hari libur nasional, Chuseok, akhirnya datang. Kami harap kalian dapat menikmati makanan enak dan bersenang-senang bersama keluarga dan teman-teman. Akan lebih menyenangkan apabila di perjalanan pulang kalian bisa sambil mendengarkan lagu kami. Kami harap kalian dapat menikmati liburan Chuseok dan menikmati musim gugur yang indah bersama kami.”

TXT merilis album debutnya bertajuk The Dream Chapter: Star pada bulan Maret lalu dan menempati peringkat pertama di chart Album Top iTunes di 44 negara, di chart album utama Billboard, Billboard 200, di urutan 140 dan Billboard Social 50 yang menempati urutan kedua dan itu menjadi rekor tertinggi di antara rookie tahun ini.

Saat ini TXT disibukkan dengan persiapan album terbaru yang direncanakan rilis pada Oktober mendatang.

Kalian bisa lihat video TXT di bawah sini:

Original article http://tenasia.hankyung.com/archives/1809247

Translation by Aisya Julia aisyajulia@gmail.com

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Texas Living

Sneak Your Veggies: 7 Kid-Approved Nutritious Recipes

By Ellise Giller 3.23.16

Take the hassle out of dinnertime with these seven recipes that cleverly add vegetables to keep your kids from saying “yuck” before, during or after a meal! They’ll never guess these tasty dishes are full of veggie goodness.

Avocado Fries

Slice avocado, dip in egg and then breadcrumb mixture, and bake in the oven at 400 degrees for about 12 minutes until crispy.

Spaghetti Squash

Substitute spaghetti squash for regular noodles! Split the squash in half, roast it, then remove the “noodles” with a kitchen fork. Toss with warm marinara and top with Parmesan.

Broccoli-Cheese Soup

Simmer broccoli in chicken broth until tender, and then stir in cubes of your kid’s favorite cheese, milk, cornstarch, and a bit of garlic powder.

Summer Squash Casserole

Kids will never notice shredded summer squash when you combine it with cooked ground beef, diced tomatoes, garlic, oregano, and plenty of shredded mozzarella. Bake in the oven until hot and bubbly.

Mushroom Hamburger Patties

Pulse mushrooms in a food processor until chopped. Then combine with beef, salt, and any other ingredients your child loves in burgers. Form patties and cook as you normally would.

Zucchini Chocolate Chip Muffins

Shred zucchini and combine with flour, sugar, baking soda, spices, eggs, milk, vanilla extract, and semisweet chocolate chips, then pour batter into muffin tins. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.


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Local news

Police ready for rallies at department store, military unit

POLICE confirmed they are fully ready to supervise the gatherings by the People’s Party today (Nov. 29) at three possible areas mentioned in news reports. Thai Rath newspaper reported.

Deputy Metropolitan Police Chief Pol. Maj. Gen Piya Tawichai said one of the locations is Imperial Department Store Ladprao.

Of the other two, the first intended location was the 1st Infantry Regiment, the 1st Infantry Battalion, King’s Close Bodyguard on Vibhavadi Rangsit Road but this later was moved to 11st Infantry Regiment, King’s Close Bodyguard in Bang Khen.

Measures to maintain safety in all potential rally areas are in place and barricades have been put up to prevent trespassing into important places. Crowd control equipment is also ready for use in accordance with the Royal Thai Police strategy, he said.

Police are not worried about the third hand moving in to trigger violence because they are constantly following developments, he added.

In the key military areas military personnel will provide another layer of reinforcement.

Top: Pol. Maj. Gen Piya briefing the reporters today. Photo: Thai Rath

I am veteran journalist and part of ThaiNewsroom.com’s editorial team. We are working hard at making this news site a success and value the support of each and every reader

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Bowl Mania Picks (Part 2)

2020 SEASON RECORD: 79-56-1 (58.1%)

2020 Bowl Record: 4-2

TGIS continues to stay at around 60% after a good Bowl Week start… HERE ARE THE REST OF THE BOWL PICKS

Bowl Game Picks (All Times CST)

December 25th

Buffalo (-6.5) vs. Marshall – 1:30pm

I’ll never forget about Marshall getting beat 20-0 against Rice… take Buffalo

December 26th

Louisiana Lafayette vs. UTSA (+14) – 2:30pm

Reminder: UTSA’s game against BYU was single digits… take the points.

Georgia State (-3.5) vs. Western Kentucky – 2:30pm

The Panthers are the much better team than a Western Kentucky that struggles against better teams. Take Georgia State.

Coastal Carolina vs. Liberty (+7) – 6:30pm

Liberty is a good football team that just might win. Coastal Carolina struggled against an average Troy team and I don’t think they finish undefeated, take the points and sprinkle the moneyline.

December 29th

#18 Miami (+3.5) vs #21 Oklahoma State – 4:30pm

I’ve learned this year I can’t trust Spencer Sanders. On the other hand, D’Eriq King will have a great game and give the Pokes Defense something they haven’t seen. Miami wins by a TD.

#20 Texas (-10) vs. Colorado – 8:00pm

Sure Texas has had players opt out… but I’m not buying the Buffs are as good as their record says they are. Texas in a blowout.

December 30th

Wake Forest (+9) vs. Wisconsin – 8:00pm

Wisconsin’s offense has gone flat scoring just over 9 points per game over the last four games. Take the points and take the win.

Oklahoma vs. Florida (+7) – 8:00pm

Kyle Trask is going out with a bang. The Sooner defense has not seen an offense like Florida’s which I fully expect to score at least 50. The Florida Defense gets enough stops to win.

December 31st

#24 Tulsa vs. Mississippi State (+2.5) – 8:00pm

Expect a low scoring slug fest. Both defenses are great but the Bulldogs have just a little bit more offense to win or at least cover.

Ball State vs. San Jose State (-7.5) – 8:00pm

San Jose State is undefeated and will look to finish that way behind the leadership of QB Nick Starkel. Ball State has been messing around in the MAC and will lose by double digits to San Jose State.

West Virginia vs. Army (+9) – 8:00pm

Army was begging for a game and they will come out to play. Army plays slow so nine points is way too many. Also sprinkle the moneyline.

January 1st

#8 Cincinnati vs. #9 Georgia (-7) – 11:00am

The Bulldogs are playing some of their best football with JT Daniels. I don’t think the Bearcats will be able to score enough to keep up. Especially considering how poorly the AAC has done this bowl season.

Auburn (+3.5) vs. #14 Northwestern – Noon

Sure the coaching staff is a mess. But Northwestern won’t be able to move the ball on Auburn. Auburn will muster a few scores for the win.

#1 Alabama (-19) vs. #4 Notre Dame – 3:00pm

Bama is just too good for Notre Dames defense to stop them and Ian Book won’t be able to put up enough points to keep up. Bama by 30.

#2 Clemson (-7.5) vs. #3 Ohio State – 7:00pm

To beat Ohio State you have to be able to throw against their poor secondary. Well… Trevor Lawrence is going to have a field day. Clemson BIG.

January 2nd

#23 NC State (+2.5) vs. Kentucky – 11:00am

Kentucky had a disappointing year including only a 3 point win over Vanderbilt. NC State has been battle tested in close games. Take the points in this close matchup.

Ole Miss (+8.5) vs. #11 Indiana – 11:30pm

Don’t forget Indiana is on their backup QB. Meaning I can’t see them scoring enough points to keep up with  Lane Kiffin’s offense. Ole Miss not only covers… but wins also.

#25 Oregon (+4.5) vs. #10 Iowa State – 3:00pm

Iowa State will struggle to move the ball against a tough Oregon defense. Expect a close defensive battle… so take the points.

#5 Texas A&M (-7.5) vs. #13 North Carolina – 7:00pm

North Carolina has had too many players opt out. Texas A&M is also looking to prove something after being left out of the playoffs. Texas A&M in a blowout.

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THATCamp Canberra 2014 will be held at the National Library of Australia.

The Library is located on Parkes Place in the central Canberra suburb of Parkes in the Parliamentary Triangle. The Library website has more information on travel and parking.

If you intend to drive on Friday, be warned that you now have to pay for parking. Have a credit card at the ready ($12 for the day).

Food & drink

Rather than have you prod at trays of sandwiches in the hope of finding something that meets your dietary needs, we’ve decided in the true THATCamp make-do spirit to leave the catering to you. Here are a few possibilities:

  • Bring a packed lunch and picnic by the lake.
  • On Friday you can grab hot and cold food, including sandwiches, pides, sausage rolls and hot chips, from PaperPlate on the Library’s Lower Ground floor.
  • On Friday and Saturday you can drop into Library’s cafe/restaurant BookPlate for sandwiches, salads and a range of daily specials.
  • Slightly further afield, there’s the Mega Bites Cafe at Questacon, and the National Portrait Gallery cafe.
  • For emergencies there are vending machines at the unconference venue supplying cold caffeinated beverages and a range of unhealthy snacks.

The Trove team will also endeavour to supply some unconference staples such as coffee, baked goods and party mix.

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Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


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That Horrible Woman

The new vibe of indie horror and dark fiction podcast. That Horrible Woman, serves up a variety of genres by some of the best modern authors and indie presses from around the world. Welcome to my haunt. Come for the fear, stay for the chill.
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Now displaying: February, 2017
Feb 23, 2017

Hello everyone, nice to have you back again, and for anyone listening for the first time welcome! Tonight's episode is the second in our celebration of Women in Horror Month. The featured author for this episode is Liz Kain.  Liz writes horror, splatter punk and Southern Gothic fiction. She is a lover of all things dark, particularly horror and psychological thrillers . When she isn't writing or parenting, she can be found hiding and eating corn chips with Wisconsin cheddar cheese. Her story this evening is titled Fried Chicken.

Thank you Liz, for the wonderful story. We'd love to hear more from you in the future!

To everyone listening a huge thank you! I look forward to presenting more horribly wonderful stories to you all  Rhys

Feb 6, 2017

Greetings dear ghouls, today I have a very special episode for you all - a bonus of sorts.  A single story by Hildred Rex titled "But the Cat Came Back".  This comes from his collection -  The Chicken (or Three Weird Tales) which was included in the Audience Choice for the Best Books of 2016 - NPR's On Point with Tom Ashbrook. His bio from his author's page, "Hildred Rex writes dark fiction.  He currently lives and works at an undisclosed location in the Greater Los Angeles area."

This is 'deliciously' dark and humorous and a bit over an hour (I didn't wish to break it into 2 episodes). Many thanks, Hildred!

Also, it's Women in Horror Month 8 and we'll be celebrating by featuring some frightening women authors and stories that feature women all month long (starting very soon)!

Thank you all for listening, I so appreciate you all!

As always, sweet screams,

Opening song for the story by Kevin MacLeod -


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That Was A Bit Mental – The Podcast!

That Was A Bit Mental is a few years old now, and as its audience has slowly grown there have been increasing requests for a podcast.

For a while I’ve resisted, mainly because I hate podcasts with only one host, and I don’t really know anyone who would willingly watch the same shit movies as I do and talk about them on a regular basis.

Thankfully, I finally realised the solution was right under my nose all the time, and as such I give you That Was A Bit Mental: The Podcast, complete with super-secret special co-host.

Episode 1 features reviews of Ghostwatch and My Little Eye, as well as shorter reviews of Ginger Snaps and The Taking Of Deborah Logan.

We also discuss which horror series should be allowed to die, and which we just can’t get enough of.

First though, a disclaimer: This is only a pilot episode. It’s fairly rough, there’s plenty of “umming” (mainly coming from me) and we’re just messing around with ideas at this stage to see what works and what doesn’t.

Please do give it a listen, then, and get back to me with feedback: what you like, what you hate, any other ideas you think we should incorporate.

For now it’s only available on the embed below or, if you’d rather, this direct MP3 link. I’ll look into sticking it on iTunes soon.


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Four Years as a Tarantula Keeper – Would you Like to be One Too?

Václav Korbel

It’s been a month since I’ve forgotten my fourth anniversary as that weirdo who keeps big, hairy spiders. It had all started quite innocently, as a desire to have a companion on my desk during the sleepless nights spent studying, procrastinating or simply being unable to sleep. A tarantula is an ideal desk pet. It’s relatively cheap and low-maintenance. The enclosure doesn’t cost much, the food is cheap and the feeding intervals quite long, there’s very little waste and no smell. You can leave for a week and the spider will be perfectly fine.

Being quite fond of animals, I’d done my research before acquiring one. That had the undesired effect of bringing indecisiveness into the equation. You see, before I started my research, I’d had two species in mind, with the plan to pick one of them. After I dove into the depths of the Internet and books, the pool expanded to eleven. In the end, I chose and ordered three, which spontaneously became four upon pickup at the monthly expo in Prague because I just had to get that Avicularia versicolor, which subsequently got named Taz.

Avicularia versicolor

So there I was, a green tarantula keeper with a lot of theoretical knowledge. However, no amount of reading can prepare you for the reality. The first time I’d opened Taz’s jar, she bolted and ran up my arm. I naturally flinched, having experienced something like that for the first time. Even today, I cringe at the memory. The poor spiderling was launched from my arm and landed a couple dozen centimeters below on the desk. If it hadn’t been an arboreal spider, adapted by evolution to leaps amongst the leaves, I would have lost a tarantula right on day one. Years later, Taz is still alive and kicking – and I don’t flinch anymore.

If you choose to get a tarantula as your new pet, you’ll come through the same phases as I did, for you can only learn some things by doing. You will, too, worry about every little spot that could be mould growth and turns to be just feces. You will, too, think your eight-legged friend is in a death curl, only to realise it’s just cleaning and grooming itself. You will, too, anxiously watch it molt for hours.

However, as time passes, you’ll stop flinching, you’ll stop worrying, at least to an extent. You’ll get to know your tarantula’s quirks and habits, you’ll watch it grow from a tiny thing that would fit on your pinky finger’s nail to a cricket-devouring monster, should you choose to raise a spiderling instead of (or in addition to) getting an adult one.

[image: Acanthoscurria geniculata now and then]

Eventually, you’ll start craving more. Be warned: tarantulas are like crisps – you can’t have just one. There are over nine hundred species with varying colours, sizes, and behaviours. So far, I’ve stopped at eleven but there isn’t an exotic pet expo or fair which wouldn’t stir the desire to have one more. My desk is now cramped with enclosures of varying sizes, various tools and empty cricket boxes.

Still interested? Then I’ve got a couple of tips for you.

  • Don’t trust the care sheets.

The Internet is full of various care sheets and most of them are filled with complete nonsense. Just a couple of days ago I’ve read a care sheet for the meanest species I keep – short-tempered, defensive, possessing a moderately strong venom and unbelievably fast – calling it docile and suitable for beginners.

  • Do your research.

Knowledge is power, and although, as stated above, there are many things that you need to experience, it helps. It could even help you not kill your spider. If you’re well-versed in English (and I assume you are, reading this), get a book on the subject. An excellent one is Tarantula Keeper’s Guide, Third Edition by Stanley A. Schultz and Marguerite J. Schultz (Publisher: Barron’s Educational Series, Inc., Hauppauge, NY, 2009). I do not recommend any book available in Czech, as they’re woefully outdated. If you have questions, there are several Internet forums that will help you with the issue. Be sure to double-check the information, though.

  • Don’t get swayed by the pet store employees.

They’ll try to sell you heat lamps, heat pads, thermometers, humidity gauges and other gadgets that are, in fact, as useful as a chocolate teapot. Your tarantula will be perfectly fine at temperatures you are comfortable with. If you don’t have to put on layers of clothing to stay warm or sit there in your underwear so you don’t overheat, your new companion will be comfortable as well. As for humidity, the species you’ll most likely pick as a beginner – a nice Grammostola or Brachypelma –  come from arid climates. Simply keep a shallow dish (you can even use an upturned large bottle cap) filled with clean water. A layer of substrate and a spot to hide, and you’re set.

Basic terrestrial setup

In fact, I would go as far as to say that it’s better not to buy a pet store tarantula. They’re often poorly cared for by employees who usually don’t know much about them and the price is often too high. Visit a local exotic pet expo or fair, such as the monthly ones in Prague and other major cities. You’ll be able find a much greater variety of species, talk directly to the breeders, and easily obtain feeder insects suitable for spiders of all sizes.

  • Last but not least, here are some commonly sold terrestrial species I’d recommend:

Grammostola pulchripes is a great beginner species – fairly docile, eats well, amazing black-and-gold colouration. It is sold in Czech Republic mostly under the junior synonym (a name mistakenly given to an already discovered and described species) Grammostola aureostriata.

Grammostola rosea and G.porteri are amongst the most common species available. Originally considered colour morphs of the same species, they possess a variety of temperaments and have a tendency for prolonged fasting. Nevertheless, I still recommend them as they’re virtually beginner-proof and nigh-indestructible. Sometimes, people sell those two species under junior synonyms such as G.spatulata in order to inflate the price tag.

If you have a bit more money to spare, look for Grammostola pulchra. This docile, stunningly jet-black tarantula ranks amongst the slowest growing species and due to its rarity, adult specimen are quite expensive.

Brachypelma albopilosum is something of an oddball within the genus. The combination of a dark body and long, dense gold-white hairs covering it is quite unique. The species eats vigorously, grows significantly faster than its more popular cousins and doesn’t have their tendency to flick urticating hairs, which makes it an ideal beginner species.

Brachypelma smithi, emilia, auratum and boehmei have similar traits – slower growth, tendencies for fasting, temperament on the skittish side, eagerness to flick urticating hairs when disturbed. They all sport patterns of black, orange and red. The members of the Brachypelma genus count amongst the most abundant species in the hobby, and thus are easy to get for a relatively low price.

If you wish to raise a spiderling, I’d recommend a faster-growing species. There are two species you can get almost anywhere: Lasiodora parahybana and Acanthoscurria geniculata. Both grow like weeds, reach over 20 cm in leg span as adults and are very cheap as spiderlings, which is understandable, considering the females lay over a thousand eggs in a single batch.                                                                                With faster metabolism comes a more active temperament, including an “Anything that enters my domain is food!” attitude, so I wouldn’t recommend an adult specimen for beginners, However, if you raise the tarantula from a spiderling, your experience grows along with the spider so by the time it reaches a substantial size, you are ready. Personally, I favour the A.geniculata due to a striking colour scheme that can be seen above.

That’s all from me for now. Let’s meet again in the next issue, where you’ll hopefully find another article about the eight-legged life.


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Hat Trick

Cyle Larin Scores 4 Of The Most Opportunistic Goals You’ll Ever See In 1 Match

Beşiktaş has reclaimed top spot in the Süper Lig after thrashing Rizespor 6-0 at Vodafone Arena on Wednesday. Canadian striker Cyle Larin had his greatest day in a Beşiktaş shirt, scoring four goals to give him 10 in 15 league appearances this season.

After a slow start to life in Europe, the 25-year-old has now scored five goals in his last three appearances to put the continent on notice. While we’re very pleased for Larin and Canada, three of his goals today were the result of a comedy of errors from Rizespor.

This Non-League Legend Once Scored 50 Goals In A Season, Now He's Set To Take On League Two

Modern football is dominated by attacking players.

There are the creators. Mo Salah, Timo Werner, Richarlison. Guys who can generate something from nothing but are average finishers that need a lot of the ball to score.

Then there are the finishers. Romelu Lukaku, Aleksandar Mitrović, Chris Wood. They aren't productive 40 yards from goal but give them one chance inside the 18 and they'll take it.

WSL Round-Up: Alex Morgan Gets First Spurs Goal, Sam Kerr Hits Hat-Trick

Chelsea stayed within striking distance of Manchester United and Arsenal at the top of the FA WSL table after defeating West Ham 3-2 on Sunday at Kingsmeadow. Sam Kerr did the business with her first-ever hat trick for the Blues as the club set a league record for most consecutive home wins with 12.

Fans returned to Chelsea’s home ground for the first time this season and were on their feet in the 15th minute after Kerr’s sliding finish from Fran Kirby’s low cross.

Four Fabulous Giroud Goals Secure Top Spot In Group E For Chelsea

Chelsea flexed its superiority with a comfortable 4-0 victory against Sevilla on Wednesday in the Champions League to claim Group E’s top spot. Four top-class Olivier Giroud goals vs Sevilla got the job done for the Blues.

The London club came into the fixture on a 14-game unbeaten streak in all competitions and immediately put the pressure on Sevilla after the first whistle. In the eighth minute Kai Havertz found open space to dribble before laying the ball off to Giroud, who finished the chance beautifully.

Diogo Jota's Champions League Hat Trick Ends All Doubt About His Transfer To Liverpool

I think I speak for many other Liverpool fans when I say I was skeptical when the club signed Diogo Jota. Nearly $50 million for a player who scored just seven league goals last season? Especially with the attacking depth the Reds have? Mo Salah, Sadio Mané and Roberto Firmino starting. Divock Origi, Takumi Minamino, Xherdan Shaqiri, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Naby Keita off the bench. Liverpool only has three senior center backs, and Klopp is going off and overpaying on a somewhat promising attacker? It didn't make much sense at the time.

Neymar Has Passed Ronaldo Into Second On Brazil’s All-Time Scoring List

Neymar overtook Ronaldo and moved into second place behind Pele on Brazil's all-time goalscoring list after notching a hat-trick in a 4-2 victory over Peru on Tuesday in a World Cup qualifier.

The Paris Saint-Germain striker now has 64 goals, two more than Ronaldo and 13 behind Pele, who heads the list with 77, according to the count by world governing body FIFA.

Brazil coach Tite was reluctant to compare his current star with past greats.

The Phenomenon That Is Erling Haaland Scores His First International Hat Trick

Norway showed Brendan Rodgers levels of character by rebounding from Thursday’s heartbreaking 2-1 defeat to Serbia in the Euro 2021 playoffs with a 4-0 win over Romania in Nations League play on Sunday.

It’s obviously small consolation for the nation’s failure to qualify for a first major international tournament since Euro 2000, but today’s victory showed why qualifying for the 2022 World Cup might be within this current generation’s reach.


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Women's Soccer

Chelsea’s Fran Kirby Brings Manchester United Back Down To Earth

Manchester United’s surprise run at the top of the FA WSL was halted by Chelsea on Sunday with the Blues handing the Red Devils their first defeat of the season and taking their spot at the summit in the process.

The rise of United and legitimacy of its title challenge was highlighted this week by Tobin Heath’s decision to decline a call-up for the USWNT’s January camp in order to stay in Manchester for a couple crucial games, including today’s top-of-the-table clash.

Manchester City Is Going All-In On USWNT Stars With Yet Another American Signing

Manchester City’s transfer policy it quite transparent, but honestly it might be the smartest thing any club has ever done.

There is little doubt the two-time defending world champion USWNT is the best soccer team in the world, so it makes sense for Manchester City to throw all its money at World Cup-winning players. The Citizens signed their third American of the season on Saturday, making Abby Dahlkemper’s move official.

USWNT Just Got A Whole Lot Better: FIFA Approves Catarina Macario’s Nationality Switch

One of the most exciting prospects in women’s soccer history is now eligible to play internationally for the United States. FIFA approved Catarina Macario’s switch to represent the USWNT, and she could play for her adopted country as soon as Monday.

Trinity Rodman (Daughter Of Dennis) Skipping College To Go Pro, Could Be First-Round Pick

The NWSL lost a chance to draft a generational talent when Stanford’s Catarina Macario skipped the NWSL draft to sign with Lyon on Tuesday. But Wednesday’s 2021 NWSL Draft will not be without its share of talent based on the list of eligible players the league released on Tuesday.

Here’s What The USWNT’s 2021 Schedule Looks Like

As much as people love to hate on 2020 for being a crappy year, the sad truth is that as the calendar turns to 2021, our problems won’t magically go away. It’ll be many months — years even — until the Covid-19 vaccine can be fully administered to the global population. Most of the world’s governments are still doing everything in their power to ignore climate change. And let’s not forget police officers are still shooting unarmed Black men with near impunity. But one thing the change in year will bring about is more games on the 2021 USWNT schedule.

USWNT’s Top Prospect Snubs NWSL To Join World’s Best Club

Catarina Macario, arguably the greatest college soccer player in a generation, will not stick around in the States to become the top overall pick in Wednesday’s NWSL draft. Instead, the Stanford standout — who announced her intentions to forgo her senior season and go pro last week — signed a free-agent contract with Lyon, the European powerhouse that has won seven Champions League titles since 2011.


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The Last Hurrah’s Month of Guest Hosts Begins Sunday

If your excuse for not attending The Last Hurrah has been a blatant and unrestrained hatred for the host, then you’re in luck! Kevin’s out of commission to work on OedipusROX! at the MET (opening April 8th) so the next four shows will decidedly be hosted by anyone else!

We kick off the run of guest hosts with Julia Williams, she was a special guest on Tinder Live, portrayed the role of Snaggle in A Christmas Play, and is a full fledged Comedy Pig! Her final shows with the Comedy Pigs are March 18 & 19 and she’ll be performing as the Gravedigger in Shakespeare in the Pub presents: HAMLET in Alexandria on March 22. She’ll be talking about advice and “words of wisdom” she’s been getting from folks over the past few months. Don’t miss this show because if you can’t see her other performances you may never see her again as she is set to head to the Windy City in a few weeks. She’ll be joined by an incredible-soon to be announced-panel. Plus, Matt Kline will be performing a hot-15 minutes of stand up comedy.

Join the fun at Frederick’s Free Comedy Chat Show this Sunday, 7pm at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre!

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Busy, Busy, Busy

When not gallivanting around the north of England, I’ve been gardening frenetically these past few weeks.  Why, I’ve barely had time to file my nails and flick through ‘Hello’ magazine.

Some jobs are annual tasks, such as …

The Long Borders are full of allium and tulip promise. Since this photo was taken I've pruned the cornus in the foreground.

… the mulching of the beds.  I normally try to get them all finished during the winter but I seem to be playing catch-up this year.   I also finally got round to …

… digging the vegetable beds and adding three barrows of compost to each; except the one that holds, frankly, disappointing over-wintering onion sets.  I also added two barrows of manure to four of them – from the infeasibly large manure pile out on the drive.

Working through my bin of compost. The pale green lump by the spade is duckweed. Note to self - it doesn't break down (who knew), so don't bother composting it again.

I’ve used up most of my leaf mould now.  It went as a mulch on some of the beds (the kidney beds in particular) and on the young beech hedging.  With the leaf mould all but gone, I started to use the compost that I made last year.  I’m terribly pleased with it.  It is almost entirely composed of grass cuttings but regular turning and the adding of green waste, paper and cardboard has made it into the above.

I’ve also been digging up herbaceous plants and relocating them into gaps in the borders.  Splitting and dividing where they have been large enough to do so, moving plants to more suitable locations and generally striving for more cohesion.  The trick though, is to remember what’s planted where – something I have yet to master; though it’s been fun trying to work out which dormant plant is which.

I finally dug up the Gunnera manicata (see earlier post –  ‘Gunnera manicata’) which was struggling on the east lawn.  It split easily into three parts which I barrowed over to the meadow and re-planted next to another gunnera that is much happier (as much as a gunnera can be happy).

Hopefully, I shall end up with a large bank of huge stately leaves.

And in the space vacated by the GM?  Well, I put in a Cotinus coggygria ‘Royal Purple.’   I’ve been meaning to plant a Smoke Tree/Bush for a couple of years now.  When I saw one recently reduced by 50%, I grabbed it quicker than quick can be, clasped it tightly to my chest and scowled at anyone who came too close.  Here, with plenty of space available, it can attain any size it pleases.

The Priory has a rose tunnel.  Not a gorgeous, elegant rose tunnel but a rose tunnel nonetheless.  It is old and rustic and made from chestnut posts and top-rails.  I would prefer something more architectural and curvy but hey, it is a rose tunnel – not something I’ve ever had the chance to play with before.  Some rotten and some missing posts were replaced last year and it was extended in length too.

I’ve dug nine more planting pockets for David Austin roses and I’m now awaiting their delivery; all disease resistant, repeat flowering whites.  Edging the planting spaces are snowdrops and I’ve ordered more to plant in the newly cut squares.  I’ve had a murderous glint in my eye ever since I first spied the evergreen honeysuckle (above) and was finally given permission (after much nagging on my part) to despatch it.  Hoorah!

A quick unravelling of stems and …

… a maniacal whizz-whizz with the chainsaw and the deed was done.  A few swipes with the mattock and out came the roots.  Hoorah again.

In leaf and flower, the roses will, with luck, hide much of the tunnel structure.

The Iris Bed hasn’t worked.  I’ve tried but have decided that, like the honeysuckle, its time has come.  I inherited three patches of bearded irises with planting spaces in between.  I then added two more patches – creating five planting spaces.  When the leaves were tidy, the irises could look rather good and provided some structure in the bed all year round.

The Iris Bed (with iris leaves waiting to be cleaned up) - September 2011

But the flowering season was terribly short and the amount of time needed to weed in amongst the rhizomes and take off dead shrivelled leaves meant that the bed as a whole was simply too labour intensive.  They had to go.

So the iris bed is to become a new tropical border.  I planted a small one last year and the owner was rather taken with it; so we’ve decided to expand  into this bed.

I spent quite some time digging up irises and some double tulips I didn’t much like (though I re-used a few Carnival de Nice) and then replanted sedums, rudbeckia and other bits and pieces in various parts of the garden.  I’m now almost ready to dig it all over, incorporating manure and compost.  I do though need to remove a few inches of soil;  it is banked up too high against the outbuilding wall and causing internal damp.

Nearby is a relatively new path; looking like nothing so much as a runway.  I’ve ‘painted’ it with watery manure and a broom (fun job) in an attempt to age it and it isn’t quite as shocking as when it was laid.  I’m cutting two new borders along side it in order to soften the straight lines.  Excess soil from the Iris Bed will be incorporated into them when ready.

This is a big job as you can imagine; the path is about twenty metres long and the new beds will have curved outside edges when I have finished.  I’ve got some ideas for the planting plan but I also have a big pile of books and gardening design mags to thumb through for inspiration – while filing my nails.

27 thoughts on “Busy, Busy, Busy

  1. What a surprise! You really did a good job there! I really thought you only go out for long walks or lay in the greenhouse, filing your nails and maybe eating grapes… I’m pretty curious about that tropical border, because it was nice before, so I expect something even better. That big honeysuckle had to go, definitely. The rose tunnel might look rustic but I like it, the roses will cover it all quickly! What kind of Austin did you buy? (I mean which Austin’s relative named rose?)

    • Oi!! What do you mean, “a surprise”? You cheeky Italian. I’ll have you know I work very, very, very hard – when not popping grapes and seeing to my nails. And having a kip in the greenhouse. That’s very funny re Austin relatives because yes, one of them was. I bought (and planted today) – Mme Alfred Carriere, Snow Goose and …. Claire Austin. I hope you approve. Dave

      • Obviously I approve! All white blends and they say Claire Austin has a strong, myrrh, vanilla fragrance, which sounds amazing to me. I hope Mr Austin is going to have grandchildren or we’re not going to see any new English Roses for a while…

  2. Hi Dave,
    I think you’ll have to do something about the lemon-yellow background. Subtle it ain’t, and IMO it leaches colour from your photos….

    But, more to the point – the duckweed. It is truly weird that a miniscule fragile plant like that doesn’t break down in compost. I’ve noticed that too, and I don’t understand it. It does eventually succumb to my two year cycle, but very reluctantly. I’m sorry for your hosepipe ban – this is not something I have ever had to contend with! I would happily send you some water, but the p&p might be a bit much!

    • Duckweed is strange stuff. Unbeknownst to me, I recently had some infiltrate my tropical fish tank – on the back of some other plants. Within weeks it had smothered the top of the tank. I spent quite some time on Sunday removing every last tiny leaf. Yawn. Shame it doesn’t break down quicker though as I added a huge amount to the ‘bins last year.

      I wouldn’t worry about P&P Mr K – perhaps we could just run a hosepipe down from your stream? And you were quite right about my lemon-yellow. Better? D

  3. The rose tunnel structure wouldn’t be at all out of place in New Mexico – that kind of sturdy simplicity just fits here. It doesn’t seem out of place at the Priory, either, actually, from what I’ve gathered (which could be completely wrong, of course). I agree with Sara and Holley that once it’s covered in roses the shape will soften beautifully. Re: the “runway” – with the big trees in the background, I can see it being a very special place eventually, in a sheltered, serene kind of way. At first I misread metres as minutes (don’t ask me how, because I don’t know) and thought that was a very long path indeed.

    Welcome back!

    • Hello Stacy, the path was originally much, much narrower and made of housebricks that had shattered over many winters. But it wasn’t that noticeable. Then the new one was laid and it was a bit of a slap in the face. I had always wanted to plant a pleached avenue along it but was vetoed. But with plants (probably nepeta – it’s too damp for lavendar) flopping onto it, it should be a lot softer. I suspect the old bird bath at its end may need to be replaced with something bigger. Golly a twenty minute path would be long, wouldn’t it? Chuckle.

  4. You’ve clearly been busy and things are looking better for it. I’m not surprised you haven’t had time to blog. I know what you mean about iris, they do look lovely when in flower but the rest of the time they can be a nuisance, especially in very small borders.

  5. Wow, and I thought I was busy!! It all looks really exciting though and it must be very enjoyable to be able to do a few planting plans for such large beds. And i think the rose walk will look great when in flower, v jealous.

    • It will be nice, one year Jason, not to have new beds to dig or old ones to re-design and re-plant. It would be very nice indeed just to do annual mulching and tweaking of borders – though I can’t begin to think when that might be, as I still have other projects to get off the ground. D

  6. Dave what do you mean you don’t have time to file your nails?! 🙂

    I was exhausted just reading how busy you have been – I have just the one raised bed for vegetables about the same size as yours and that is going to keep me out of mischief. It is all lovely very very loverly :-))

    • Hehe. Yep, I know. The state of my nails will continue to be shocking. I’m very worried about the hosepipe ban and wondering whether I’m actually going to be able to plant much in the way of veg this year – and keep it all watered. D

  7. You have done so much! Even with all your gallivanting around! Love, love, love the rose tunnel! The structure looks great to me, and it will be fabulous when covered with blooms. Glad you removed the honeysuckle, though. I think that was the right decision. Interesting to hear you talk about the iris bed as I’ve been considering putting on in. This makes me re-consider. Your borders along the walkway are going to look fabulous. Lots of great inspiration here.

    • Thank you Holley. I did save some irises for elsewhere – I don’t hate them! It’s just that when they’re planted en masse they can be a little too time consuming. Glad you like the rose tunnel. I guess it won’t start looking the part for another year or two. Dave

  8. Looks like you’ve been very, very busy indeed! The garden’s looking good and well prepared now for the growing season ahead. Welcome back after you brief pause from blogging!

    Interesting too see too that you’re expanding you’re tropical border. Not surprised that the owner was taken to the one you did last year 😉

  9. I knew you had to be doing something constructive, with so much time on your hands and fingertips, Mr Dave! When oh when are we going to have wall-sized computer screens so I can see all your beautiful photos properly? They deserve it. When do you have time to be anxious, by the way?

    • Yeah, sorry about the size of photos – they are a little on the large side. I’m looking to change the blog layout anyhow but nothing too drastic. I always make time to be anxious Mr F – it’s what keeps me going! D

  10. Wow, lots done and even more to do. The mulched beds look very smart, and lovely to have a smoke bush. I think I’ve resigned myself to the likelihood that we won’t have space for one, alas.

    Lovely to have new borders to plot, plan and plant (shame about the digging though). And somewhere for lots of roses to sprawl. I think the ‘arch’ doesn’t look too bad, could have been a lot worse than chestnut posts, and once it’s smothered in roses its square shoulders won’t seem so brutal.

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Mortal Engines (Universal Pictures, PG-13)

There are a million stories in the moving, predatory city. This is just the most boring and predictable one.

The eye-popping 2018 steampunk fantasy Mortal Engines has a premise so out there and hair-brained that it could have worked. In the distant future, after an apocalypse caused by a mysterious “quantum power” weapon levels the cities of earth in something called the 60 Minute War, cities have gone mobile. You heard that right, cities are built on giant wheel and tread systems and these behemoths crush across vast plains in search of resources. The story starts on board a stunningly detailed, Victorian-looking, diesel-powered monstrosity carrying our hero Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar). But if you thought this city was big, here comes London, a giant gleaming leviathan, the apex of predator cities, with a verdant courtyard and St. Paul’s Cathedral at its crown for pomp and scale.

It’s immediately apparent that these are physically impossible structures and that the sheer amount of energy and engineering needed to sustain them would defeat any advantage they might have. And if that’s the case, that’s fine. I’m willing to let this film take me in some direction in which the possible metaphorical meaning of these cities (urban vs. rural economies, Britain’s history of Imperial rule, a commentary on Brexit perhaps) might emerge to give me something, anything, to chew on. Instead, there are a few offhanded references to something called Municipal Darwinism (fancy words!), and the rest is pretty much Star Wars on wheels. One gets the impression that this is a dystopia a younger Terry Gilliam could have built into something nasty and allegorical. As it stands, the most interesting and transfixing thing about the film ends up being Hugo Weaving’s beard.

The film is not entirely without worth, however. The level of detail on these predator cities is quite the spectacle. Even if in the back of the mind the whole endeavor doesn’t make much sense, these giants clang and whir along with something that often looks like engineering fidelity. The level of detail is astonishing. If you came simply for the joy of seeing steampunk gadgetry with a decent layer of CG and practical patina (which, I must admit, I kinda did) then you’re in luck. The third act is a series of great cockpit shots that, if you’ve given up on the story as I had, you can just take in the sumptuous detail of rivets, wires, and blinking lights. (You’ll need something to get you through the 2+ hour run time.) Also, there’s a surprisingly short but satisfying appearance of Frankie Adams from the Expanse series.

The closest the film comes to having a beating heart is the story of Shrike (Steven Lang), a misunderstood killing machine without a heart of his own. But, much like Shrike, the film is loud but bloodless. Mortal Engines contents itself to the clockwork formula of so many fantasy action films before it. This thing must have taken an army of animators and designers, it’s too bad such a gargantuan feat as this pursues its quarry in territory so well tread. | Mike McCubbins

Mortal Engines is streaming through the end of the month on HBO. If you’re reading this and it’s no longer March 2020, find out where you can find it at Click here to read Caleb Sawyer’s review from the film’s original 2018 release date.

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Official Decopatch Papers

Decopatch papers are amazing. Super thin, flexible and incredibly strong, they are deep dyed and glazed so they won’t run, break apart or tear while you are working with them, and they don’t fade. We have beautiful papers in a whole spectrum of colours – Green & Brown, Animal Prints, Pink, Metallic, Red, Yellow & Orange, Blue, Black & White, Purple, Multicoloured, Floral & Christmas. Take time to browse the whole collection – Decopatch by its very nature is multi-coloured with treasures everywhere.

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A Day in the Life of Max Payne

Another spot on videogame parody by YouTuber timtimfed. This time he takes on Max Payne 3, ridiculing its intrusive visuals, the depressing atmosphere and Max’s signature move shootdodge.

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