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When Friendships Change, Never To Be the Same Again

We’ve all had them. Long term friendships, and not so long term ones, that are going along great and then suddenly….BAM!…something happens and that friendship changes and is never the same again. Or maybe something has been brewing over time and the day has come that the relationship is forced to adjust. This stands for not only friendships, but any relationship. Every person we are in relations with exists within a multitude of delicate frequencies based on personalities, preferences and perspective. Navigating the emotional tides and storms of two independent, yet interconnected, people can be equal parts thrilling and daunting. Sometimes we know we really do like or love someone, but we don’t like or love their behavior or choices all the time. If their behavior is not a deal breaker to the friendship and we choose to have them in our lives (as opposed to cutting ties and walking away), then the next step is to work through the challenging energy of change within the dynamic of our relationship.

When our friendship goes from being one thing to never being the same again, it has changed. This very word, change, means to be altered and made different, transformed; to have a different position or course, or to be replaced with something else.

Sometimes the shifts are for our growth and are not necessarily, what we might think, for the better. Our friendships transform and are never the same after many different kinds experiences. Perhaps we had an argument, maybe we don’t feel comfortable with their choices and activities, or it could be from a move, marriage, baby, or any other big life change. We no longer have what seemed to be working for us both; a wrench was thrown in the works.

Working through friendships that are morphing is not for the faint hearted. It takes sweat, blood, and tears sometimes to process through a difficult phase in a friendship. Coming through the other side with our friendship still intact is a fine feeling indeed. THAT is when the friendship will never be the same, and why would we want it to be? We have grown. We have worked together. We expanded our consciousness and learned things about ourselves and the world around us. We stretched, and chances are that our friendship is so much stronger and better because of it.

In the midst of the winds of change in our friendships it is helpful if we do a few things consistently. (Yes, we have now reached the bullet-point section of the article, so take note!)

~ Set aside time to talk face to face or on the phone when both of us are calm.

Adrenaline makes us stupid. It really does, go Google it. It puts into fight or flight mode and makes communication emotionally charged and warped because of it. Setting a time to talk allows us to have time to think about what we want to communicate and gives us a chance to work on expressing ourselves as authentically as possible. It also creates less miscommunication because the human touch is involved through voice and/or facial expressions. Sending emails, texts and messages via computer or phone is cause of a ridiculous amount of miscommunication and drama that I’ve noticed. Not to mention, when we are in a highly agitated emotional state, we read the words of text through the eyes of our anger, pain and fear. We easily skew things based on our mood as we are reading. Don’t believe me? The next couple times you read an email or a text and you are angry, go back later and read it when you are calm. I’ve caught myself missing words and phrases entirely because one little thing triggered my anger and adrenaline.

~ State the facts of how we feel without bringing a lot of emotion into it.

This can be a hard one for many of us. We really can speak of our anger without reacting from it. If we have agreed to come together and work towards resolution, then we must give ourselves a chance to each state our position, our feelings, and our ideas for how to resolve any issues between us.

~ Take accountability for our individual participation.

This means knowing and admitting where we each fell short, regardless of whose “fault” we think it is. This also means being accountable for how we will show up in the future or during this time of change and challenge.

~ Acts of kindness

This might seem an unnecessary thing in terms of communication and conflict resolution between friends, but it seals the deal with an element of gratitude and love. Paying it forward, doing something for another, and being in service are all a balm to a tender healing friendship.

I’ve watched many relationships suffer because one or both parties will not focus on resolution or how to get past a difficult time; I have sometimes been this person. I have lost friends that don’t choose IN to being in relationship with me, or those that don’t choose it in a healthy way, or those that don’t agree with my personal boundaries. I’ve watched emotions come into play to a degree that reason and logic are lost, and all parties continue to act on emotion over, and over again into a downward spiral. But I’ve also invested the time and energy to communicate, to learn, and to connect to those I’ve experienced discord with. The relationships that have healed with work on both sides are some of the most beautiful I enjoy being part of.

Try using these techniques in any of your difficult relationships and chances are you may see some energy shifts that can bring about healing and constructive communication between you. Or, if you feel comfortable, communicate clearly to your person in question that this relationship is important to you and you would like to work together in finding solutions, and creating something that is amicable for you both.

May your interactions be filled with heart space energy.

Go Home Fear, You’re Drunk

Excitement has side effects if not properly harnessed; it can turn into nerves which then morph into fear. Have you ever noticed yourself or others laughing too much, blushing and flushing, left speechless or frozen when overly excited or nervous? It’s an uncomfortable and embarrassing by-product of the emotions, thoughts, hormones and chemicals going on the body when someone is subject to elation, thrill, or frenzyMe? I talk too fast and blush too much.

Maybe you can relate to something like performing or speaking in front of others for the first time, or competing in a tournament. You want the experience, you have been preparing for it, you are getting really excited….more excited now….into full blown, “Holy spit, I CAN’T do this,” mode!!

Aaaaaaaaand, in sweeps F E A R.
False Evidence Appearing Real

When we want something, we get excited right? Then that excitement turns into fear and all our excuses and negative feelings start coming up.

We humans are bent on making stories up in our heads, overreacting to things, making amazing assumptions, and convincing ourselves of straight up lies. The lies that we can’t, that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, fast enough. Maybe we don’t even know the lies, it’s just an obscured belief from childhood that keeps playing out subconsciously in our lives that we aren’t this, or can’t do that.

Ok, with that said, I will say that we must appreciate fear. It’s feeling a little picked on at the moment so let us give fear its due appreciation and credit for being a helpful experience on this Earthly life. Fear exists to keep us safe on a primal level; to warn us of impending attack or harm. It boosts adrenaline and creates superhero like power in some cases. Fear is an amazing tool that can be used to keep us alert and educated to be safe in any endeavor, and to let us know when our lives are truly in danger.

Fear gives birth to shame, worthlessness, anger, and more. Fear hides behind these other feelings as well. These are very sneaky feelings. Because they are disguised in some form of fear (they were born from fear, remember) and because fear is often disguised as these other feelings, they get us thinking that we are going to be harmed by that person, or this experience; we think that these other feelings disguised as fear are keeping us safe. It tells us not to do something so we don’t risk making a mistake and a fool of ourselves. It makes us feel safe by justifying our lack of attendance in life experiences that make us overly nervous and shut down, so we avoid things and people altogether. Fear keeps us from having that relationship we so deeply ache for, that we won’t risk even one ounce of our hearts for, because we are afraid of pain.

Life is not meant to be lived stagnantly. Change is happening around us whether we choose to be aware of it or not. It sweeps us up and begs for us to grow within its experience. Are you in? Or are you complacent with letting change make you its plaything?

In or Out,
It’s Your Choice

If we are in – INtentional. INterested, INformed, INtelligent, and INspired, then we can be badass at anything we want to be badass at! The most badass people that have ever lived, in any timeline, in any culture, in any part of the word, have surely made mistakes and looked a fool while they practiced their badassery. Did they experience fear? Sure thing. But they held onto the excitement of their goals consistently.

When we allow fear to control us, things that make us nervous keep us from showing up fully in our lives and for others. We miss out on beautiful experiences, business contacts, learning opportunities, serving others, and expanding our awareness. The Universe has fewer opportunities to bring us what we truly want and need. Then we get to play victim by feeling shut down, thinking and declaring to the world that life has nothing but crap to give us. Here is a phrase we all must remember.

It is a choice.

How Much Do We Want What We Want?

Aside from brainstorming and daydreaming, I believe that at a great level, we do really want something when we say we want it. But when it’s a big, bad, scary, FEAR based thing that we want….that healthy romantic relationship, the job we have a passion for, that move to another city, to have a fit body, to quit smoking….we sabotage ourselves. We might want it but we don’t want it quite enough to make it happen; that takes 100% commitment and usually involves making significant lifestyle changes and doing deep personal work. Sometimes we never do what we need to do to accomplish our goals and dreams. Sometimes we are addicted to the same old trauma, drama, and illness.

Sometimes though, the process takes time. Years even. Our desire grows until it is strong enough to get to that critical moment when we actually take the steps needed to create what we want. Processing through fears, conditioning, and beliefs can take a long time. Quiet contemplation allows us to get to know the self well enough to recognize if we are growing and evolving slowly, or simply stuck in a pattern.

To have any change, or to have things we want, we have to want it bad enough that it permeates every. fiber. of. our. being! We must want it to a level that gives us strength, hope, and courage, even during our darkest times. The light of our power, the intentions in the heart, and the actions we take shine into our lives to keep us motivated and happy. We are working towards what we want; not every stepping stone is the destination, nor every situation permanent.

Sometimes the journey is the bigger achievement than actually reaching the goal.

So, ask yourselves what you really want, if you are willing to do what it takes to get it, and recognize when your fear is keeping you from living fully and authentically. Take your fear and convert it back to excitement for your life!

The Flip Side of Expectations

“Expectations are premeditated disappointments,” was how my friend put it to me one day. I chuckled at this and I’ve definitely seen how expectations of things and people cause us unnecessary suffering. When I was a teen and young woman, I wanted my birthday every year to go a very specific way; after all, it was my birthday. I’d plan things, hope for things, wish for things, do my best to have a good time, and many times things fell through, I’d spend little time with friends or family, or I’d just have a bad day (think flat tires, losing keys, getting fired, etc.) I have long since worked myself out of birthday expectations, and over the last decade I’ve made it a personal journey to release expectations I have in relationships.

Many things in relationships are challenging that’s for sure. We are subject to the moods, actions, and lifestyles of others while in relationship. Sharing a home with others brings a whole new set of energies to learn to navigate with, or around. Being in relationship with anything, be it your mother, husband, child, friend, cell phone, or car – takes two things to mesh a bit into one. When we combine, we are in relationship of. It’s an energetic exchange.

So, if we are combining then there is a balancing act going on with my part and your part. We each interact, show up, and are part of this relationship, right? So having personal accountability (to explain actions or be responsible for something we took part in) is kind of an essential ingredient to the relationship complexity. You aren’t responsible for me angrily snapping at you, that was my choice. I’m not responsible for you not paying me back the money you owe when we agreed upon, that was your choice. Our own actions, behaviors, and reactions need to be put under the microscope instead of projecting things onto other people as is the wont of the human ego.

My mother has often told me that I’m the only person she knows that works so hard at personal awareness and self growth. I’ve heard similar things from a handful of others over the years as well. This does not mean that I am full of light, love, and kindness all the time, but that I have a desire to overcome the not so pleasant parts of myself. Much of my progress has been slow, some has been quick, but it’s always evolving; always moving. I know the freedom, healing and peace that can come from looking within oneself, and I never stop practicing that. So when I hear that my expectations are “too much” or that I shouldn’t have any, (I don’t appreciate being should on by the way,) I am aware that I have them and how I am feeling is bringing me unnecessary suffering.

Balance, contrasts, and another side of the coin exists in everything. Sometimes having hopes or desires for others to engage with common sense relationship skills and common courtesies is NOT about having too many expectations. To have a desire that those we love will behave in kind, thoughtful ways is NOT about having too many expectations. Nothing has to be 50/50 all the time; if it were, we’d be robots. We fluctuate with life and sometimes we take 20% while giving 80%, but then other times might have us getting 60% while our loved one gets 40%. It’s an exchange of love and energy when we actually move outside of ourselves to reach out to those we are in relationship with. When the status quo is showing the percentages consistently staying stuck in tired patterns, and it is no longer a shared experience of care, thoughtfulness, connection, and respect, then for those of us with big, huge, ginormous hearts……it stings a bit.

Yes, there are probably mystics and guru’s and calm people in the world that don’t let anything get under their skin, at all, ever. They have practiced detachment and freedom from expectations so they are happy in every relationship they have. Well, most of us aren’t there yet. Be patient with us.

Let the Scape Goat Escape

Our perspective of what expectations others may or may not have does not give us license to use them as scape goat to avoid personal accountability for how we actually do show up for others. Before we write off someone else’s experience, take a moment to ask ourselves:

Could I be doing more to show this person I care?
What have I done lately to cultivate this relationship?
What extra effort can I put into connecting with this person?
What kinds of things are important to them?
What might they appreciate from me? It might not be what you would like or might think they would like, so ask!

It’s true that a lot of the time our hurt feelings or irritation is about our expectations and when we have a lot of them that leave us feeling hurt and bitter all the time, or being unkind to others because of it, then it is on us to take accountability for that.

There are few absolutes in the world and this is not one of them; it isn’t always about expectations.

Every one of us has different ways of showing up in relationships. There are a myriad of ways that we show love, communicate, and express our emotions with our loved ones. Some people call, some send meme’s, some send correspondence and cards in the mail, private emails with deep conversation, some send flowers, come visit, run an errand, plan an outing, give little gifts, babysit our kids, or meet for coffee as ways to show up, show care, cultivate and maintain relationships. It takes work to develop and keep relationships alive; it takes ACTION.

Why do we think people get SO happy and emotional when someone goes just a touch out of their way to do something thoughtful? Because we are hungry for more human connection!! Real time. Face to face. Something other than text messages, Tweets, and Facebook posts. Technology is but only one piece of the relationship puzzle, but too many use it as the only means of connecting.

Get real. Connect in more profound ways. Don’t let those you love pull away or even pass away before you look back and realize that you wished you would have done more.

How to Change the World With Our Thoughts

Once it was a bunch of “woo-woo” to think that our thoughts could create our realities. However, science is proving just how powerful our brains really are. The science of epigenetics is proving how the experiences of our grandparents echo into our genes. So if that’s true, it’s not a far cry to think that our thoughts have a lot of power in our day to day lives.

Have you heard of Dr. Emoto? This forward thinking Japanese man performed an experiment with water. He put water in several containers and labeled them with phrases like, “I hate you,” and “I love you.” He also exposed them to different types of uplifting and dark music, prayers and pictures. Microscopically he noticed  the differences in the crystals that formed.
So think about it. The human body is made up of about 60% of water. Are you getting the picture yet? Our thoughts will be doing things like this in our bodies! Negative self talk can make us physically ill.

What Can the Average Person Do?

There is much strife in our world; lots of suffering, it’s true. As an average person in an average 9-5 job, with average finances, how can you possibly change the world? If you don’t have political power or money to burn then it seems like there isn’t much hope that you can do anything.

I often hear people condemning the things going on in the world, but I’m here to tell you that by doing so, you are only adding to the negative energies that exist around them! It might seem silly, might even seem frivolous, but sending love and light to the situation does a lot more to help shift it.

Just by thinking of ending wars will not end them unfortunately. However, instead of adding negativity to them, try sending peaceful thoughts and intentions to the leaders of warring countries. Send love and light to the victims of war. The more focused we are on unity consciousness and sending healing vibrations across the world, the more our world will change. Can you imagine what might happen if each person did this every day?

All thoughts are energy that can be transmitted and received throughout the Earth’s grid. If you doubt this, then keep track of global meditation events and crime rates on those days. You’ll see them drop quite a bit.

I’ve been accused of living in fairy land with my head in the clouds because of beliefs like this, but I’ll tell you what….I’d rather spend my time energetically sending healing and love than worrying and being in fear all the time. We might not have the power to change things over night but we do have the power to change things over time.

The world I picture for future generations looks much different than the one we live in now. Just holding onto a vision of peace can do more than we might think.

Awake You Sleeping Giants!

A life of profound depth is awaiting the end of our shallow slumber. Awake! Awake!

Our spirits are eagerly awaiting our awareness and our arrival. Yet the decision to wake lies solely with each one of us.

Fantasy Art Scenery Facebook Timeline CoverThe spiritual path (not to be confused with a religious one) is one that leads to reality. Not a “higher” reality, just reality. It is known in the metaphysical world that much of our world is an illusion. We take the path within and it strips away the illusions we have that we are separate from each other and from the Earth. It blows up the notion that there is not enough for everyone, and it destroys the lies we tell ourselves of having to fight to have our place in the world. The illusions of humankind are drugs that keep us sedated and robotic. Endless consumerism, technology taking the place of human interaction, the raping of our Earth and her resources, as well as blind obedience to leaders who are ensorcelled by money and power.

Many of us are like millionaires with amnesia, going through life feeling poor, living poorly, and choosing a scarcity mentality when there are riches just within our reach! We are so convinced that we are limited by the mind and body we have that we have forgotten our true selves. Molecules are made up of atoms and subatomic particles. Our bodies are made of these molecules and when we look for the tiniest part of what we are made of, the particles disappear. That is where the quantum field steps in; where life is full of infinite potential. We can trace our bodies back to this field! It contains intelligence, love, creativity and more. Wouldn’t we like to claim our fortunes?

There is magic to wield, spells to cast, and rituals to perform to bring the divine soul up and out into this mundane world. This reality provides all the building blocks of higher vibrations of love and light that can heal ourselves, each other, and the planet.

Tap in.

Tap into the wellspring of ancient knowledge and divinity that resides within.

Then the next time someone tells us the “realities” of something, we can chuckle and know that our reality is much more expansive and powerful with infinite opportunities.

Can We Learn to Live Without This Shadow?

Female Portrait by Hannes Caspar
Female Portrait by Hannes Caspar

The shadow of femininity incorporates the many different types of oppression that the feminine world has experienced for thousands of years. This shadow houses the pain from women being owned, sold, abused, denied, shut out, shushed up, or brushed aside as “too soft” and not worthy.

As women come to light their own inner beacons of passion and love for the world, the shadow of femininity will fade. I speak of the darkness that the female spirit has experienced through the history of this Earth. A new time is dawning for the feminine to rise and step into her power to heal the world with her compassion, nurturing, and intuition.

However, the biggest tragedy of the shadow of a woman is the shadow she creates for herself; the shadow she still clings to. After hundreds of thousands of years of sexual, physical, and political oppression, women are waking up and stepping out. It all sounds great in theory, but until women can embrace themselves and all they are, healing will not happen. Healing families, communities, nations, continents and the entire world cannot happen if healing does not first start within.

  • Are you dragging around your own self-created shadow?
  • Does she haunt your footsteps with feelings of guilt, shame, or lack of self-worth?
  • Can you look at her in the eyes and love her enough to let her go?
  • Can you let your light shine upon her so you are forever free?

It is possible to climb out of the darkness, but we must be willing to love ourselves first and foremost. Speak your truths, stand your ground, set your boundaries, do what you love, listen to your heart and your soul, and do not associate with those who say that you mustn’t, or shouldn’t.

The Light of the Woman gains in strength with each woman that decides to embrace self-love and healing for her life. Let us own our feminine power and walk forward confidently into this new age of feminine grace.

3 Unique Ways to Do Yoga

I believe that yoga is a very gentle, personally powerful, and spiritual thing to take part in. Traditional yoga which dates back before 500 BCE was of physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines from Hinduism and Buddhism. When done in traditional ways with focus on breath within the poses, as well as holding difficult positions, combined with meditation at the end can give you an overall sense of bliss.

Much of modern yoga has eliminated some sacred rituals that take place within a true yogic practice and maybe you’ve taken a class at the gym only to feel that something was missing. Or maybe you don’t know what you are missing by practicing yoga in it’s full form. Either way, there is something to be said about using yoga as a way to go within yourself, know yourself, and heal yourself.

Over the 20 years I have had a home yoga practice I’ve learned just a handful of challenging poses, and I mostly stick with my sun salutation sequences that seem to maintain fitness in my entire body quite well. I have learned to adapt this routine by holding poses longer, deepening them or adding some simple new things to the flow. I have no desire at this time to do headstands or curl up into a pretzel. There is tremendous discipline in that though and I honor those that choose to practice this way, but I love the daily simple maintenance from my yoga practice. Over the years I’ve added my own flavor to my fitness routine that has keep it simple, yet given me some unique creative expression.

I attribute my deep sense of mind/body awareness to my yoga practice. Yoga teaches us to focus on our breath while we hold each pose. By doing this we can feel when our muscles loosen up just enough so we can sink further into the pose. This relaxing of muscles has taught me to listen to my body and to work with it, and it has been especially helpful during my three plus years of a Lyme disease journey.

There are 3 unique ways you can use your yoga practice to get further in touch with not only your body, but your spirit as well.

1. Don’t Try to Control Your Thoughts

Yoga is very meditative, right? So it stands to reason that you would want to quiet your mind. There is a lot of value to having a quiet mind but it is one of the things many people struggle the most with. I have done many a yoga session where my mind just races constantly no matter how much I try to quiet it. While going through poses and stretching your body, act as an observer to your thoughts. Let them all play out. If you’ve had a bad day and you’re angry at your boss, let all those thoughts come through you and out of you as you stretch your muscles. Don’t hang onto any one of them for too long, don’t obsess and by all means don’t judge any of it. Let your thoughts come and go, come and go, come and go. Keep stretching while using your breath and holding poses, but let your mind run. Once you feel sufficiently empty of your worries and your body is loose and relaxed from exercise, then lay down in Corpse pose to float for a few minutes. Relish in the peaceful river that your mind now may be, then sit up in Lotus or Half Lotus to give gratitude up to the powers that be, and set your intentions for the day.

I have worked out many problems on my yoga mat, I have found forgiveness for myself and others there, as well as receiving many answers about my life. I have done angry yoga before and judged myself for not doing it “right” but once I realized that by the end of my workout I wasn’t feeling angry anymore, I figured that this was  perfectly okay.

2. Incorporate Intuitive Movement

First I’d like to say that any time you veer away from specific exercises that you do so very carefully. If you have injuries or are out of shape then take things slowly and LISTEN to your body. There is a difference between moving in a way that is good for your body and moving in ways that put your joints and ligaments at risk.

Turn on some tunes and then use some basic yoga poses to slowly move, sway and dance in. For instance, I flow into and out of Warrior I and Warrior II with the music so it is more of a dance. Once your body connects to the music you may find, with some practice, that your body will tell you where it feels good to go. I often use my sore muscles as a way to direct me into movements that I can feel will stretch them or make them stronger. Consider faster music beats to bump and bounce to while you stretch and love your Earthly vessel.  Movement like this can turn into something very primal and cathartic if you let it.

3. Unity Meditation

This quick meditation will send out vibrations of gratitude and love as you focus on cherishing all the wonderful energy around you while sharing your own light with Heaven and Earth. At the end of your session while you sit in Lotus pose, take all those wonderfully powerful and relaxed feelings you now have and get them moving. Start by taking your arms out to your sides and “scooping” up all the wonderful things in the world while moving your arms up to “scoop” out all the blessings from Heaven/Space/Creation and bring them down into Prayer pose with your hands together at your heart space. Do this twice more while focusing on feeling all the good things that Heaven and Earth have to offer as being something inside of you that you can carry into your day. Then do the reverse. Start with your hands at your heart in Prayer pose and take all of your gifts, abilities and wonderful attributes and give them up to Heaven in gratitude while you reach for the sky. Bring your arms down, imagine sharing all of these things about yourself with the World to finish with your hands again at your heart. Make sure your arms are out as straight as can be and that you feel energy coming out of your fingertips. Do this twice more so you’ve done each exercise three times a piece, then “Namaste,” and close your practice.

Consider using your own creativity to adapt exercises and add some fun to your yoga movement.

4 Powerful Things to Learn From Illness

As I created a family and built a life with my husband of ten years I never expected to be faced with illness so young. I had cleaned up my diet immensely and also got rid of most toxic chemicals in my home, I did yoga consistently and was flourishing. However, my immune system had other plans for me. Once infected by Lyme disease with a tick in my leg, my whole life shifted. I am truly blessed to have the support I needed to go through the healing process, which I’m still in, and luckily my body didn’t degrade as badly as many I have read about who deal with Lyme. During this journey I have met many beautiful people who also deal with physical illness.

It doesn’t matter what physical ailments you are currently experiencing, one thing is pretty much universal – it sucks. But does it have to all the time? Even when one is generally a positive person, the toll that it takes on the mind and spirit when the body is sick is tremendous. Social activities are limited or ceased, time with children is lessened since healing time takes precedence, families often break up over illness, jobs are lost, hobbies are forgotten, and even your physical appearance can tank.

I’ve struggled just as much as the next person with the changes that have happened in my life over the last three years, but I’ve learned so many things through the process as I’ve gone within to search for meaning. I mean, why is this a part of my experience? What are things I need to learn? How is this serving my life; what are the silver linings?

I invite you to consider the following things as you deal with your physical ailments to find some level of peace. I encourage you to explore the effect that emotions have on your physical health and how they can make you sick. Spend some quiet time with yourself or God and be open to the messages you receive about why you might be experiencing what you are.

1. There is Always Healing Support Available

Many people feel they hit dead ends with doctors and practitioners. Thousands of dollars are often spent while looking for someone to help with your health and wellness. I feel that I have a good doctor, research smarts of my own, and wicked intuition but I’ve still spent upwards of $15,000 in my healing journey. When one form of care doesn’t work anymore and all you are doing is maintaining a certain quality, or non-quality of life, then there is always something else you can do to find more healing. Cures? Maybe, maybe not. But there are many different types of holistic, conventional, and energy healers out there to make your journey easier. It does take time, money, and patience to weed through them and decide what is right for you, but don’t give up. The more research you do into how your body works, what it needs, what it is lacking, and what systems need to heal, then the more educated you are on your body AS A WHOLE and the more you can find to help it out.

2. Allow Your Priorities to Shift

There can be lots of anger, resentment, and disappointment wrapped up in being sick when you are missing out on things you used to enjoy. One of the biggest struggles for me was that I couldn’t do my treatments, or rest, AND clean my house most times. A clean house makes me feel organized, complete, and open, whereas a messy one does the opposite. It took about a year but I finally learned that my health and time with my kids were now my priorities. I only had so much energy in my “account” every day and I had to be careful how I spent it. I’ve spent many hours of reading and coloring time with my kids and that is what they will remember of me, not how clean my house was.

As you spend more time caring for yourself, learn to delegate. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! This is hard one for many, but asking for help does not mean you are weak, it means you are human and we ALL need help from time to time. Call upon friends, family, neighbors, and church groups to name a few. Ask your immediate family to be sensitive to the shift in priorities and ask them to pick up a little extra slack when needed.

3. Don’t Stop Living

A friend on Facebook one day commented on one of my posts and she told me that she has never known anyone to work as hard at living so fully while being physically ill. This was fantastic for me to hear. You see, on days I struggle with nausea, weakness, headaches or sensory issues, to name a few, I have been known to be all dressed up out dancing, singing karaoke, going to the park with my family, date nights with my husband, Halloween parties, and more. Granted, some of those times I’m more quiet and sit down more, or I might leave early, but I’m there; I’m there enjoying my life. Be it my stubborn nature or something else, but I simply refused to let this illness keep me from living my life. I have already made sacrifices to account for the healing I need, but it wasn’t going to ruin my fun! I have often had people ask me if I wasn’t pushing myself too hard, or why I do what I do while feeling so crappy. So, for my friend to acknowledge that I was working hard to maintain a quality of life that I liked, it validated me.

Our mental state about our health, or the lack thereof, makes or breaks us. I know that if I allow the dark days to overtake me, I’ll sink into a depression of epic proportions. Not only will this make my body more ill, but it can be really hard to get out of once there. We are all allowed bad days, just don’t unpack and stay there.

Listen to your body, but don’t let it dictate everything. Dealing with symptoms while at a party or a luncheon is not ideal but it is possible. To be honest, I find that when I’m living my life like this, I often get a relief from the symptoms because I’m distracted!

4. Find Your Silver Linings

There are always blessings in even the worst of traumas, we simply must be open to looking for them. Perhaps you never would have met your new best friend if you hadn’t been sick and at that doctors appointment or support group. Maybe you never would have learned about how the body works and how to care for it as well, maybe you never would have known the satisfaction that comes from educating others about disease. A few silver linings of mine include having had more empathy for my mother when she was hit with lymphoma, I am able to relate with a girlfriend who is quite sick when others have accused her of it all being in her head, I wouldn’t have had the many enlightening conversations with family and friends about the importance of gut health, how magnesium and vitamin D deficiencies make us really sick, or how to eat high vibrational healing foods, I have learned to slow down and quit being so busy being busy.

We might all prefer to be completely healed, some of us may reach that goal, and others of us might live our lives out while maintaining as best we can. However, there is a lot power in embracing the situation and working with it instead of against it.


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Sonam Kapoor Ahuja’s Second Day At Cannes Film Festival Is Summer Perfection

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Sonam Kapoor is back at Cannes, and after doing a desi look made by videsi designers Ralph & Russo on her first day, she set a summery mood for her second day. Sonam is the OG Fashionista of Bollywood, and the world always looks forward to what she is wearing! Here is a breakdown of her style from her second day at Cannes 2018.

Sonam Kapoor in Simone Rocha

Looks like white and blue was a theme everyone had to follow. First Deepika did it, and now Sonam.

Sonam was dressed in a Simone Rocha white shirt with bouffant sleeves, which she tucked into patchwork jeans from her husband’s brand Bhane. She rolled and cuffed the hem of her jeans to give it a more casual vibe.

A pair of studded black square toe mules from Sergio Rossi and a black belt tied the look together. She wore her hair in a top knot, along with deep purple lips and tiny gold hoops.

Sonam Kapoor in Emilia Wickstead

For her next change, Sonam wore a candy striped Emilia Wickstead maxi dress. The dress had a broad belt to cinch the waist, and an embellished collar. The red and white candy stripes inspired dress had a button down detail in the front. She wore the look with black block heels by Sophia Webster, and Bottega Veneta round oversized sunglasses. Simple pearl earrings and a sleek low ponytail gave finishing touches to the look.

Sonam Kapoor in Vera Wang

Looking like a dream on a hot summer day, Sonam Kapoor channelled the hues of an ice cream for her red carpet appearance She was seen wearing a super fluffy and voluminous Vera Wang gown that was strapless and had hues of yellow with a light yellow trail fabric on the back.

She styled the look with diamond earrings from Chopard and Ralph and Russo shoes. We love how she played with makeup, with yellow eyeshadow dusted on her lids and inner corner. Simple nude lips and fluttery lashes rounded her look.

What look did you like best? Let us know in the comments below.

Fashion enthusiast by birth, shopaholic by nature, and makeup maven by choice, Shikha serves you your daily dose of everything style and beauty, with a sprinkle of fabulousness!

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Choosing the 1 Best Male Topless Waiters in Sydney

Choosing the Best Male Topless Waiters in Sydney

The state capital of New South Wales is known for its eclectic nightlife, promising parties, and a diverse choice of handsome men. And although the female population outnumbers men, we can never go wrong by choosing Aussie bums for their oozing appeal, and down-to-earth attitude.

The latest census from the Australian Bureau of Statistics indicates that there are almost 5 million people in Greater Sydney and only 49.3% are men. But you won’t be shooting the moon when getting a stripper or male topless waiters in Sydney to represent your next event.

Looking for quality male hosts is often a bit hard considering the number of agencies offering such service. When picking one, it all boils down to the men themselves and not on the agency where they come from. Here are some guides to help your filter down the top-calibre hosts to make your celebrations amazing.

Look for Confidence and Comfort

Male strippers and topless waiters come in all shapes and sizes. But one thing you should look at is their confidence and how they make guests comfortable. They will be serving you naked, and it might not be a good idea to have a shy one ruin your hens’ party.

When shopping around, always go for an agency that does not only provide quality men but look into their records of bringing out a level of attitude to keep your guests drooling with fun. More often, hiring male strippers to host a party becomes the highlight.

They should be able to work confidently without their clothes while making your guests enticed and comfortable. Keeping this in mind will make your event a welcome bliss everyone will remember.

Don’t Forget the Fit Bodies

When looking for male topless waiters in Sydney, it is always imperative to go for the ones with nice pecs and abs. Physicality is often the epitome of manhood, and you want that excellent display paraded during your party. A fabulous physique always keeps the heat high, and you want to maintain that level of interest among your guests.

Hiring the right models, though, comes with discretion. Aside from giving you the right ambience and feel, they should also be respectful. Always go for trusted agencies in Sydney, considering there are several servicing companies for adult entertainment.

Don’t ruin your party for fly-by-night servicers who show up with flabby men and disapproving attitudes. Think of your ideal hosts and go above it when looking for male strippers to perform on your hens’ party. After all, it will be the last night you or a friend will be single, and you want them to have the best time of their lives.

Dancing is an Essential Part of the Entertainment

Don’t ruin your hens’ party with a waiter who cannot strut his goods on the floor. If you are hiring male topless waiters in Sydney, think of men who can get the party going with their dance moves. Quality strippers always have dance steps that captivate his audience, and you want to bring that in during your celebrations.

Hiring the right hosts for your hens’ party, always go for the confidence, beautiful and fit bodies, and dance moves. These three qualities should fit within your description of a good party celebration.

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Rap Fiesta Is Underground Hip Hop’s Best Kept Secret

Rap Fiesta

Who Is Rap Fiesta?

Rap Fiesta is a New York City-based Hip-Hop blog that focuses on finding high-quality underground Hip-Hop and sharing it with the world in a digestible fashion. They are absolutely fanatical about finding rap music’s best-kept secrets. In the same breath, they also prioritize advancing these artist’s careers. Rap Fiesta’s team is big in the belief of collaborative growth.

Rap Fiesta was created by artists, for artists.

Many blogs are founded by music lovers, but not many are built upon the foundation from the artist’s perspective. Rap Fiesta is the best of both worlds, providing you with great music, and tools to help that music grow. With that being said, they provide all the knowledge freely for artistry to benefit from. Rap Fiesta is frequented often by labels who are trying to find their next viral star.

Although they believe in allowing independent artistry to flourish, they help assist artists in putting themselves into a position to create their own opportunities. Whether you are an artist who is worth getting found or a fan who loves to discover hits before they are viral, Rap Fiesta has got you covered.

How Does Rap Fiesta Help Artists?

In more ways than one they curate avenues for artists to connect intimately with fans. Each week they allow artists to share their music with a live audience who give feedback in real-time on their show called Rap Fiesta Radio. The show is hosted on their Instagram Live every Thursday at 8:30 PM EST.

They also host artist interviews, cover releases on underground artists, and provide tools for these artists to grow. They are prideful on not only being a cultural hub of great indie hip hop but also on their teaching methods on artist growth.

They provide free ‘Industry Knowledge Guides‘ from big players in the music industry to allow independent artists in navigating more freely. Entertainment lawyers, publicists, artist representatives are only a few of the tools available at every artist’s disposal. They truly want independent artistry to blossom and are powerful in aiding that goal.

Another key reason you should get in touch with Rap Fiesta is their free networking opportunities. They have an abundance of artists, producers, photographers, videographers, managers, etc. who are looking for talented artists to work with. Rap Fiesta connects a wide variety of creatives together for the sole purpose of creating flourishing art. If you need an original beat for your project, if you are looking for a publicist to increase your popularity, or are simply trying to get your music on streaming services – Rap Fiesta has you covered.

What makes Rap Fiesta different from other blogs?

Rap Fiesta is unique in its approach towards artists proudly brandishing an Artist-First mentality. Their blog was created by artists, for artists. While most blogs will normally charge money to simply listen to a submission, Rap Fiesta will not. While most blogs don’t follow their artist’s growth, Rap Fiesta continuously ensures the artists they work with are getting feedback from them constantly.

On more occasions than not, their writers develop personal relationships with artists and organize events and opportunities to expedite their growth. Rap Fiesta doesn’t simply cover an artist and offer condolences, they orient them into their family of artists. Another aspect is in the way they offer feedback. They respond to every submission (which is an achievement in and of itself), but in doing so they offer advice on how to grow weak areas of the song. Whether its songwriting, mixing, mastering, or branding- Rap Fiesta focuses on providing value to everybody.

Rap Fiesta

How Can I Follow Rap Fiesta?

If you want to be apart of the Rap Fiesta movement and find undiscovered Hip-Hop gems before your friends do, you can follow Rap Fiesta on their Instagram @rapfiesta or go to their website at

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Dive into the divinity of Lil Wicked’s music that will make every soul smile

Lil Wicked

Lil Wicked’s music that will make every soul smile

A Mexican descendant from Santa Ana, California, Lil Wicked is an American rapper who makes amazing music. After receiving huge street success on his debut album “Enter at Your Own Risk”, Lil Wicked is about to release another album “The Lost Tapes”. He will be also be releasing his album “LEGEND” this summer, which features artists such as Tayf3rd, $tupid Young, and a couple of West Coast Legends.

How Lil Wicked is an independent artist

Lil Wicked is an independent artist who has built his career all by himself. This feeling of independence gives him control over his career so that his focus on art and social awareness doesn’t get watered down by the need to maximize profit. He is completely focussed and committed towards his love and passion for music, which can be felt in the songs that he makes.

The first thing ever to inspired Lil Wicked to make music was listening to Tupac and other legendary artists from the West coast. Shortly after being inspired by these artists, he started writing his music to express himself about the things going on with his family, and the environment that surrounded him in general. He used to have a feeling that he couldn’t express all that is going on, to his family, friends, or his teachers at my school. Music acted as a medium for him, through which he spoke his heart out to his loved ones a million other people, without the fear of being judged.

Lil Wicked style of Music

Lil Wicked likes to describe his style of music as “Universal” because everyone in every part of the world can relate to it and love it. Listeners get inspired by his music since he always tries to tell a story, or give a message through his songs.

It is said that music has the power to take you to places, and Lil Wicked’s music is here to prove it right. His music is a reflection of his personality- positive and lively. His music is serene and soulful that is like a blessing to the ears and hearts of the listeners.

“Growing up in Santa Ana, CA it was difficult, especially when you don’t have someone in your life who can teach you right from wrong. I was fortunate enough that I found music at an early age which helped me distract myself from my surroundings and not become a product of my environment.

I feel my musical journey has been pretty easy as the fan base I have targeted has received me with open arms which have led to millions of streams all digital platforms”, tells Lil Wicked about his musical journey so far and the importance of music in his life.

Music has been like an escape to him as it helped him get away from all the misery and troubles that he faced in his life. If there is one thing that Lil Wicked won’t ever give up in his life, it is his love and passion for music.

Lil Wicked’s latest album “No Love” is raw and unique, and he proclaims that the listeners are going to get hooked to it once you play to it and end up listening to it on loop. His newest album “Lost Tapes Volume 1” will be released this summer, which is a collection of songs that he has made over the years but did not release.

Lil Wicked

He summons his fans to thank them for always supporting him and showering him with love, and to tell them that they are a part of every song that he writes.

Listen to Lil Wicked’s songs now on

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Lianah Chang has the 4 B’s: Beauty, Brains, Body, and Bold Humor.

Lianah chang

Lianah Chang is the first Indian model

Indian models are changing and diversifying the fashion industry in the west. Lianah Chang is the first Indian model featured as a cover model for Italian Fashion Magazine, Faddy Magazine. Her story is featured at the end of the Fashion Magazine’s 2020 issue regarding the struggle Indian models constantly undergo if they choose to represent conventional Desi or Eastern ware in the fashion industry.

East Asians do not have many fashion icons and models that represent how they look. In the East, they love to portray non-Indian women in beauty and television. In the west, however, the crisis of beauty, fashion, and identity consequently has become an issue for many “brown” Americans. Millions of Indians can never identify with the featured cover models and fashion icons in the west or east. It has become an acceptable trend to abandon Indian cultural attire and to even deny being Indian to be accepted in the west.

More About Lianah Chang

She has constantly referenced IMG’s Modeling movement We love your genes “WLYG” and references in her Faddy Magazine Story the dilemma that models of color and East Asian heritage constantly encounter. Many professional models that are signed with stellar Modeling agencies cannot apply for many of the jobs if they choose to be identified as East Asian, because there is typically not a modeling category for that huge, yet ostracized group.

IMG and many other huge global agencies have changed the modeling world by accepting the LGBT community, along with plus-size, disabled, and very old models, African American models, disabled models, and celebrity models over 50 years old. Yet, while other cultural groups like the African American community are rising in modeling, their brown counterparts are not making enough movements. This is why models of Indian descent are not common in the Americas.

Lianah Chang

Infamous (Lianah is Infamous in the Indian Community)

Lianah Chang is an infamous trend-setter in the Indian community. She is a creative inspiration for people to love their genes; especially for people of color. She has been ranked as the number one East Asian Fashion Model and Influencer by Za’s Page Celebrity Magazine, as well as on ARY digital Television. Her social media modeling tag is LianahModeling because of her influence in the Fashion Industry, which has been uniquely focused on Desi-style fashion, although she is a model in the United States.

Although she is a signed fashion model that does commercial print modeling for big-name brands such as Macy’s, Ulta, Nordstrom, and Amazon; she markets and emphasizes many Indian pieces of jewelry and bridal shops in the United States to aspire Indian and other ethnic groups in the United States to embrace their cultural attire. Her reach is International and she has a mixed following from both East and West.

She is known as one of the classiest Indian model icons in fashion with no nude photography and strong inspirational and cultural messages for people with a hint of bold and raunchy humor, which has set her apart in the East Asian arena.

Although she represents traditional Indian and bridal attire, what sets her apart is that she models custom-made Bollywood bra-lehengas, to showcase some of the sexy and stylish looks Bollywood models and actresses wear. Lianah received a lot of media publicity while modeling a custom-made fashion outfit at the IIFA 2017 awards, inspired by Malaika Arora Khan’s item song, Fashion Khatam. she has become the eminent face of many Indian jewelry companies and bridal stores.  she also has made her mark in the medical arena, namely, as the main model for many healthcare, and private medical clinics, including the billboard model for MMI Health Care for accidents and injuries.

Lianah has been a featured model on television for Bridal Fashion and Bollywood Host Events. A polyglot who has been recognized for speaking many languages, her greatest attribute as an International model has been her ability to touch the hearts of all people and demographics. She has been a featured model speaking and advertising in over 15 different languages and countries to this day.

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Fun Etymology Tuesday – Elf

How’s life, faithful readers? If you’ve been paying attention the past few months, you’ll have noticed a pattern in what we publish each week on Tuesday.
That’s right: it’s Fun Etymology time!

Today, we want to talk about hidden words.
Sometimes words hide inside other words, camouflaging their forms so that you have to know where to look to find them.
Such words are like the fairies of old: mischevious and adept at hiding from the mortals’ prying eyes. One such word is today’s word: “elf”.

Readers of Tolkien (and of fantasy in general) will surely be familiar with the image of the Nordic Elf, the elf as imagined by the people of ancient Scandinavia: beautiful, ethereal, and dangerous in some subtle way. In English and Celtic folklore, however, elves were a different beast altogether: short, ugly, and terribly mischevious if not even malicious.

The word “elf” goes back a long time: it comes unchanged from Old English, and has cousins in many other Germanic languages (such as German “Alp” and Old Norse “alfr”). Ultimately, it can be traced back to Proto-Germanic *albiz, but beyond that its origins are mysterious. One hypothesis is that it could come from Proto-Indo-European “*albho-“, meaning “white”.

Where does this word hide, you ask? Well, if any of you is called Alfred, Alvin, or (less likely) Eldridge, it’s right in your name!
In the Middle Ages, people believed that fairies and elves lay hidden around the world ready to snatch children and waylay adults, and had a fearful respect for such creatures. Many names still used today contain the word “elf”.
The three names I’ve just cited, for example, come from Old English “Ælfræd”, meaning “Elf-counsel”, “Ælfwine”, meaning “Elf-friend”, and “Ælfric”, meaning “Elf-ruler”, respectively.

Who knows what other mischevious words hide within our names? Can you find out?

The Scots Leid – The Scots Language

I am very excited to share this post with you, and have been looking forward to it since the dawn of the HLC. Why? This post marks the first part of a mini-series which will tell you the story of the Scots language, its historical and present day status and linguistic elements, while introducing concepts such as language standardisation and the idea of “debased English”. For now, let’s start with a general overview of what Scots is and where it came from. As any essay-boosting student would, I will start with a quote:

“Up until the end of the 18th century largely the entire Scottish population spoke Gaelic […] During the 19th century the English language further dominated the area. It was the language of the church and schools. Essentially all contacts outside of the villages was in English.”

The quote above comes from a language sciences textbook by a Swedish author1 (the translation is my own). I’m gonna leave it with you for now, and by the end of this post it will hopefully become clear why the statements above are not only problematic, but also plainly wrong!

So, what do we mean when we talk about the Scots language? When hearing the name, some assume it’s another name for Scottish Gaelic (usually pronounced Gallic) , others that it’s a name for the variety spoken in Scotland which is “essentially English” with some lexical differences. As I will probably write about Scots again outside of this blog series (I may be a one-trick pony), I figured it was appropriate to outline as simple as possible (it’s not in any way simple) what the Scots language is, isn’t, and what it has been. I am not going to give any absolute answers, because they can be somewhat political, but will try to keep this series nice and diplomatic, and highly linguistic2.

How far back to begin? I think it is best for everyone if I leave pre-Celtic out of this. I can even do without outlining what we know of the Picts, right? I think we should start in the Dark Ages, when the Gaels, also called the Scotti, migrated to Scotland from Ireland. This people and their language, an ancestor variety to Irish and Scottish Gaelic, dominated Scotland for quite some time. In the Middle Ages, there was a shift to a variety referred to as Inglis, deriving from Northumbrian Old English. Inglis was not called so for very long, but soon became Scottis (in the early 16th century) and finally Scots. Scots became the common language of the Scottish lowlands (and northern islands, but slightly later), while Gaelic remained the language of the highlands.

Map of Scotland, 1595. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of Scotland3.

The shift from Gaelic to Inglis/Scots began in the Scottish burghs established in Southern Scotland in the 12th century (hint: Edin-burgh). These burghs became  melting pots for various languages, and the main contributors were locally spoken Northumbrian/Anglian (i.e. varieties of Old-Middle English), Northumbrian/Anglian from south of the English border, Anglo-Norman, Gaelic, Scandinavianised English from the previous Danelaw area, and Flemish spoken by merchants from the continent. All of these lovely ingredients came together to form the tasty casserole we call Older Scots. Now, Scots periodisation is not a done deal, and I will tactfully avoid the issue by referring to everything Scots between 1100 and 1700 as Older Scots. I’ll have to refer you to the footnotes4 for more information about this, we need to stay on the ball.

After this rather lengthy intro, we now arrive at the core of what I want to be known by the end of this post: Scots was a historically distinct variety, spoken in the Scottish lowlands, which was used for all functions and purposes for several centuries; it was the language of literature, parliament, legal texts etc., etc. Essentially, Scots and English were two distinct varieties, and recognised as such! It was not until the late 16th century that things started to change. First, strike one, during the Scottish Reformation (1540) the bible was only available in English, making English the language of religion. Then, strike two, King James VI of Scotland became King James I of Scotland and England after the death of Elizabeth I – this event is called the Union of the Crowns (1603) – which made English the language of the royal court.

King James the VI of Scotland and I of England and Scotland.5

The third strike came in 1707, the Union of Parliaments, when Scotland became part of the United Kingdom and thus English became the language of parliament. By this time, Scots lost its status as a language for formal use, and essentially became degraded, in the public view, to a vernacular, “uneducated” dialect used by the working class and rural populations. The final blow came with the Education Act of 1872, which required only English to be spoken and taught in schools6.

Does this mean that Scots is gone? Of course not, but the status of Scots as a language is a complicated issue. To properly explain what present-day Scots is we would need to dive back into the debate of what constitutes a language. In recent decades, Scots has received a lot of attention and activism; many Scots speakers want to see their variety receiving official language status, they want justification for the marginalisation of their language and some seek standardisation of Scots. What complicates this matter is that spoken Scots is used by different people from different geographical areas and demographic groups, without a unifying standard variety for several centuries, so it has become a highly mixed variety with very different dialects and sociolects under its spectra. If we were to attempt standardisation, would the urban Glasgow speech “win”, or the rural Aberdeenshire Scots? Or, would we construct a standard like what was done with Basque? Further, it has become increasingly difficult to determine where Scots ends and Scottish English (i.e. English with a Scottish accent) begins, especially since most speakers mix their speech with elements from both varieties and change their speech depending on context.

We can now establish that the quote from the Swedish textbook is problematic mainly because (i). Gaelic was not the language of all of Scotland before 1700, and (ii). It’s controversial to claim that Gaelic was overtaken by English, rather than Scots (and that this happened as late as the 19th century). Finally, I recommend all to visit the National Library of Scotland’s Wee Windaes website for more information about Scots literary history in particular, and to get a better idea of what Scots looks and sounds like (the whole website is in Scots). I have tried very hard to not make this too lengthy and too specific, and I hope I did not lose any essential details in the process. While this post was mostly meant as a general overview of the history and terminology surrounding Scots, the next post in the series will be dedicated to the linguistic distinctions between Scots and English.

To be continued.

1I will leave this author anonymous – it is not my place to shame anyone, this person cited someone else and this may not be their area of expertise.

2I want to give a huge shout out and many thanks to the people teaching the Scots courses at the University of Edinburgh who taught me all of this stuff: Dr Rhona Alcorn, Dr Joanna Kopaczyk, Dr Warren Maguire and Dr Benjamin Molineaux. Anything uncited is credited to their lectures, I owe it all to them!

3Accessed at:
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4A.J. Aitken (i.e. the forefather of modern Scots linguistics, one might say (and this one does say)) is responsible for the traditional periodisation used. However, Joanna Kopazcyk makes very good points regarding why this periodisation is not ideal, and I’ll refer you to her article for those arguments:
Kopaczyk, J. (2013). Rethinking the traditional periodisation of the scots language. In R. M. Millar and J. Cruickshank (Eds.), After the Storm: Papers from the Forum for Research on the Languages of Scotland and Ulster. University of Aberdeen.

5Image courtesy of the National Portrait Gallery:

6This act, of course, also had severe effects for Scottish Gaelic.

Fun Etymology Tuesday – Wizengamot

Salvete, amici!

It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means: Fun Etymology time!

This week, we’re getting a little literary. J. K. Rowling snuck a lot of clever things into the Harry Potter books. One of those is the word “Wizengamot.” In the books, the Wizengamot is the wizards’ highest court of law and parliament. The name is a blending of “wizard” and the Old English word “witenagemot,” meaning “meeting of the wise men.” Like the wizarding equivalent, the Anglo-Saxon Witenagemot was a governing council that advised the king.

“Witenagemot” breaks down into two words. “Witena” comes from “wita,” meaning “wise man.” “Gemot” means “meeting or council.” It also appeared without the prefix as “mot,” which is the source of our Modern English word “moot” (meaning “debatable or irrelevant”). The modern sense of the word comes from a Renaissance usage by law students to refer to a discussion of hypothetical law cases, hence “debatable.” (Anyone who’s sat through a pointless meeting or a discussion that’s gone on way too long and circled back around can guess how that morphed into “irrelevant.”)

Speaking of literature, Old English “mot” is also the source of Tolkien’s Entmoot, literally “meeting of the Ents.”

Books, am I right?

Speaking in Tongues: a Brief History of Conlanging

Up until now, we at the HLC have mainly written about languages that evolved naturally out in the vast and scary place we call the real world, descending from parent languages, which descended from even older parent languages, which presumably descended from the grunts and shrieks our simian ancestors used to brag to each other about their poo-flinging prowess.

However, not all languages have evolved naturally. Some, believe it or not, have been partly or wholly created out of whole cloth by people such as hobbyists, writers, philosophers or logicians. These are called artificial languages, or conlangs (short for constructed languages), and they go waaaaay back.

Now you might be objecting: “but aren’t all languages human-created?”

Well, yes, they are. But there’s a difference between natural languages (or natlangs) and conlangs: while natural languages evolve more or less spontaneously over a span of millennia through their use in a wide community, conlangs are wholly and deliberately manufactured (and sometimes evolved) by one or more people over the course of months, or at most decades.

No hominid sat at a table (or a rock formation resembling a table) in prehistoric times and deliberately decided to create a communication system which went beyond simple mating calls and poo-flinging calls; language evolved naturally out of whatever was before it through means that are still not very clear.

Or maybe they did, and we’re all speaking the descendants of some genius hominid’s conlang. Who knows?

2. The First Age of Conlangs: 12th to 17th Centuries

Anyway, nobody knows how far back the history of language invention goes, but it’s pretty probable that the first such artificial languages were created for religious or ritual purposes, to have a secret language only the priests knew with which they could communicate with the gods. Why do we think that? Because the first artificial language ever passed down to us is just such a language: it was called Lingua Ignota, and was invented in the 12th century by St. Hildegard of Bingen, an abbess and Christian mystic. Very little of her creation has trickled down through the centuries, but we know that she used this language to pray and to talk to the other nuns in her abbey. Her being the first known conlanger, as well as an actual Catholic Saint, earned her the moniker of Patron Saint of Conlanging.

Other mystical or magical conlangs came into existence during the 15th and 17th centuries, such as Enochian, created by the famous English occultist John Dee, who claimed it was the language of the angels. Very few actual complete conlangs have reached us from this very early period, and no one actually knows whether St. Hildegard’s Lingua Ignota truly was the first conlang or, as it’s more likely, others existed before hers which simply didn’t survive the ages.

3. The Second Age of Conlangs: 18th to 19th Centuries

The second chapter in the history of conlanging began in the 18th century, when a guy named John Wilkins published his book entitled Essay Towards a Real Character, and a Philosophical Language. In this book, he proposed a language which would divide all of human thought in discrete categories, each represented by a different sound, which could be combined to form words. His ultimate goal was to create a maximally efficient and understandable language which could be used to communicate with all of humankind. It was the first auxiliary language, or auxlang, a conlang whose noble goal is facilitating communication between different cultures, as well as being culturally and linguistically neutral. In an era of unceasing nationalistic struggle, these utopic goals attracted the attention of numerous scholars of the Age of Enlightenment.

His efforts didn’t lead to much, but his ideas exploded in the 19th century, giving birth to what can only be called an auxiliary language craze, which saw the creation of numerous languages aimed at facilitating communication between different cultures, such as Volapük (a strange mishmash of various European languages), Solresol (a language meant to be sung or played on an instrument as well as spoken), and what is arguably the most famous conlang of all, Esperanto, created by Polish optician L. Zamenhof in 1887, and which holds the distinction of being the only conlang so far to have acquired native speakers. Esperanto spawned innumerable variants and imitators, some of which are still being created today.

Ultimately, though, the great auxiliary language experiment did not succeed. Unfortunately, the very concept of an auxiliary language presents some insurmountable difficulties which make its successful application all but impossible.

Another kind of conlang which originated in this period was the engineered language, or engelang. Engelangs are conlangs created by linguists or philosophers with the goal of exploring aspects of language or human thought, sort of like “linguistic labs”, so to speak. Some of the most famous engelangs include Lojban, whose goal is creating a language which obeys the rules of formal logic; Ithkuil, a monument of engelanging created by John Quijada, whose goal was creating a language which could convey the most information with the greatest degree of clarity and economy of space (it has 92 cases!!); and Toki Pona, created by Sonja Lang, a cuddly language which tries to encapsulate human thought in just 120 words.

4. The Golden Age of Conlangs: mid-20th Century to Present

The third and ongoing chapter in the history of language invention began in the 20th century, with the rise of artistic languages, or artlangs. For the first time in history, conlangs were created with no particular goal in mind, but as a means of artistic expression. The most famous creator of such languages was English linguist and novelist J.R.R. Tolkien, the Mozart of conlanging, who I hope needs no introduction. He started conlanging as a child, and called creating artificial languages his “secret vice”. His conlanging work is monumental: he created multiple languages, which he then artificially evolved to create numerous language families, each comprised of a dozen languages or so. This magnificent handiwork is so complex that there are actual linguists specialising in the study of his languages, and scholarly periodicals published regularly about them.

Another famous artistic language is Klingon, created for the Star Trek television series by Mark Okrand, probably the second best known conlang after Esperanto.

But it’s with the premiere of the TV series and cultural phenomenon Game of Thrones in 2011, which prominently features conlangs created by professional conlanger David J. Peterson, that the conlanging world truly exploded. Where once conlangers were numbered in the dozens, now they are hundreds, with forums and Facebook groups dedicated to this peculiar hobby.

This explosion of interest, together with the publication of conlanging manuals and the spread of conlanging websites on the Internet, has given the current period the name of Golden Age of Conlanging.

So, boys and girls, this is the history of conlanging. Unlike the history of natural language, this is a history of human invention and ingenuity.

Maybe the next chapter of the history of conlanging could be written by some of you guys.

Stay tuned for next week, when the astonishing Lisa will bring tae ye the historie o the Scots Leid.

Fun Etymology Tuesday – Bear

Hail and well met!

It’s Tuesday, and it’s time for our usual appointment with etymologies and fun!

Today’s word is one of the most interesting words in all European languages: “bear”.
I bet you’ve never thought about “bear” as a particularly interesting word, but I assure you that by the end of this post you’ll think differently.

In Europe, the original Indo-European root for “bear”, *rtko, survived in the Romance and Greek languages (as the descendants of Latin “ursus” and Greek “arktos”, respectively) as well as some of the Celtic branch, but was completely lost in the Germanic and Slavic branches. Why? Because the bear was a sacred animal to the Germanic and Slavic people, and uttering its true name was considered an affront to the gods, so workarounds were devised to refer to the bear without offending the powers.
The solution the Germanic people came up with was calling the bear “the Brown One”, and that’s where the modern word “bear” comes from: the Indo-European root *bher-, from which also comes the word “brown”.
Russians call the bear “the Honey Thief”, “medved'”.

As for the original name of the bear? It came back into English through Greek as the word “Arctic”, the place where bears are, and Antarctic, the place away from where the bears are.
That’s right: which of the two poles of Earth you are in is defined by whether or not there are bears in it.

Pretty interesting, is it not?

Is English a Romance language? On language families and relationships

Today, I’m going to talk about language families! When I say this, I believe that most of you will have, on some level, an intuitive hunch about what I mean. If we were to compare a couple of common words found in, for example, Spanish and Italian, we would find that they are often very similar or, in some cases, even identical. Take a look:

Spanish Italian English translation
vivir vivere live
boca bocca mouth
tu you

Similarly, if we were to look at Swedish, Danish and Norwegian:

Swedish Danish Norwegian English translation
leva leve leve live
mun mund munn mouth
du du du you

You see the similarities? Now, why is that, you might wonder. Well, because they are related!

In the linguistic world, related languages are languages that have so much in common that we cannot claim that it is merely due to extensive contact and/or borrowing. These languages, we say, are so similar that there can be no other reasonable explanation than that they descend from a common source: a mother language, as it were. In the case of Spanish and Italian, the mother is Latin, while in the case of Swedish, Danish and Norwegian, the language is Old Norse.

Now, it would be convenient if it stopped there, wouldn’t it? But, of course, it doesn’t. Like any family, the mother also has a mother and other relatives, like siblings and cousins. Old Norse, for example, has its own sisters: Old High German, Old Frisian, Old English, etc., which all share the same mother: Proto-Germanic. This is the Germanic language family.

Spanish and Italian also have sisters: French, Portuguese, Romanian, etc., and their common mother is Latin. This is the Romance language family, deriving from Vulgar Latin. But, of course, Latin has its own sisters, for example Umbrian and Oscan, and together with its sisters, Latin forms the Italic language family.

Does it feel a bit confusing? Well, that’s understandable and I’m going to kick it up a notch by adding that the Italic language family, with languages like Spanish and Italian, and the Germanic language family, with languages like Swedish and Danish, actually have the same mother: Proto-Indo-European (or just Indo-European).

The mother in this case is veeeery old, and we actually don’t have any kind of evidence of how it looked! Indo-European is a reconstructed language, more commonly known as a proto-language (as you may have noticed, we call the mother of the Germanic family Proto-Germanic, meaning that it is also a reconstructed language). It has never been heard, never been recorded and no one speaks it. Then how the heck do we know anything about it, right? Well, that has to do with something called the comparative method, which we’ll explain in another post.

Like human families, language families can be represented in the form of a family tree:*

Clear? Well, hate to tell you this, but this is an extremely simplified version using only examples from these two subfamilies. The “real” Indo-European language family tree looks somewhat more like this:1

You’re kinda hating me right now, aren’t you?

As you can see by the tree above, some languages that you might never expect are actually related. Let’s take as an example Standardised Hindi and German. Here are some common words in both languages:

German Hindi English translation
Mädchen लड़की (ladakee) girl
Hallo नमस्ते (namaste) hello
Hunger भूख (bhookh) hunger

Looking at these words, it is unlikely that you would draw the conclusion that the two languages are related. Looking at the language tree, however, you can see that linguists have concluded they are. Now, you’re probably staring at your screen going “whaaaat?” but, indeed, they are both descendants of Indo-European and are therefore related.

While Indo-European is clearly a large group of languages, it is not the only one (or even the largest). Looking a bit closer at the Indo-European language family, you will notice that languages such as Mandarin and Finnish are not included. These belong to other families, in this case the Sino-Tibetan and Finno-Ugric (or Uralic, depending on your definition) language families respectively.

All in all, there are approximately 130 language families in the world today. Some are related, some are not, just like we are. The largest family is the Niger-Congo language family, having (as recorded in 2009) 1,532 languages belonging to it. (Indo-European comes in a poor 4th place with approximately 439 languages.)2

So, looking at languages is kinda like looking at your own family tree: every mother will have a mother (or father, if you want, but traditionally, linguists call them mothers and daughters). Some branches will have siblings, cousins, second cousins and so on. Some will look nothing like their relatives (or, well, little anyway) and some will be strikingly similar. That’s just the way families work, right?

So, now, we’ve reached a point where I can answer the question in the title: Is English a Romance language?

While this is a much-debated question (do a google search and see for yourself), the simple answer is: no, it’s not. At least, not to a linguist. Now, you might be sitting at home, getting more and more confused because a lot of English vocabulary can be traced back to Latin (the word ‘vocabulary’ being one of those words, actually).

But when linguists say that a language is a Romance language, we are referring to the relationship illustrated in the tree structure, i.e. the language has Latin as its mother. English, then, despite having borrowed a substantial part of its vocabulary from Latin (and later from the Latin language French), it is not in itself a daughter of Latin. English is a daughter of Proto-Germanic, thus, it is a Germanic language.

However, Latin and Proto-Germanic are both daughters of Indo-European. Latin and English are therefore clearly related, but the relationship is more like that of a beloved aunt rather than a mother (if, you know, the beloved aunt refused to recognise you as a person unless you imitated her).

At the end of the day, languages are like any other family: some relationships are strong, some are weak, some are close, some are not.

Tune in next week when Riccardo will delve into another branch of language families: constructed languages.

Notes and sources

*The structure employed here, showing languages as families in family trees, has long been criticized for simply not showing a lot of information like contact-situations, dialect continuums and when the languages were spoken. It has, however, been used to show the beginning student that some languages are related to each other and how they are related in a way that is easy and comprehensible. The Historical Linguist Channel does, however, recognise this criticism and would be happy to discuss it in a separate post or through personal communication.

1Provided by Ancient History Encyclopedia (Published on 19th of January, 2013).

2Lewis, M. Paul (ed.), 2009. Ethnologue: Languages of the World, Sixteenth edition. Dallas, Texas: SIL International. Online version: (Family index is reached through

Fun Etymology Tuesday – Money & admonish

Guten Tag, mein gutes Volk!

It’s Tuesday and, as usual, it’s time for your weekly dose of Fun Etymology goodness.

If you’ve been following us on our journey so far, you know that words sometimes have the weirdest connections with other words. Today, we bring you another of those bizarre links: the one between “money” and “admonish”.

The word “money” is yet another word coming from the heap of vocabulary dumped on unsuspecting English by the French invaders in the Middle Ages and is directly cognate with modern French “monnaie”. The origin of both words can be found in the original Latin word “moneta” (which survived unchanged in Italian), and it’s the ultimate etymology of this word which is the most interesting part of our story today.

See, in ancient Rome, the official imperial mint was located right across the street from (or perhaps even inside) the city temple to the goddess Juno, the wife of Jupiter.
Now, those of you who know your Greco-Roman mythology will know that Jupiter (or Zeus) wasn’t exactly the most faithful husband a woman could wish for.
Perhaps because of her husband’s constant misbehaviour, Juno was known to be a pretty stern and severe goddess, and one of her nicknames in Archaic Latin was “Moneta”, “The Admonisher”, from “monere” “to admonish”. Sound familiar?
In ancient Rome, money was what came out of the Moneta temple, and was therefore called “moneta”, from which came Old French “monoie”, which then gave English the word “money”.

The same verb “monere” (plus the strengthening prefix “ad-“) gave English the word “admonish”, again through French.

Isn’t it amazing how the ancient religion of the Romans still influences the words we use today?

Phonology 101: Let’s Get Physical

We briefly explained phonology and phonetics when we gave a general rundown of some of the major disciplines of linguistics. Phonology has been a big part of linguistics from the beginning, and some of the stories we’re most excited to share with you are all about phonology. Even for some of the other topics we’re going to cover, a basic understand of phonology will be pretty useful. To that end, over the next couple months, I’m going to give you a brief crash course in Phonology 101. We will cover some of the basics of how we produce speech, the concept of phonemes and how we distinguish individual sounds, and how consonants and vowels work. For those who aren’t all that excited by this prospect, don’t worry. This series will be interspersed with other topics from my co-conspirators.

You ready? Let’s get started!

A quick recap: When we talk about phonology and phonetics, we’re talking about the sounds of speech. Phonology studies the way our fantastic brain-machines store and organize those sounds and the rules used for spitting them out. Phonetics studies the physical production of sound, including things like acoustics and the way sounds inevitably influence each other when produced in sequence (like when you’re saying a word or phrase). A shorthand way to think about this is that phonology deals in the abstract and phonetics in the concrete.

Whichever side you’re studying, it’s good to know the basics of the vocal tract and all the moving parts in our throats and mouths that work together to produce speech. Even in the abstract, the three main features linguists use to define individual sounds are the place of articulation (i.e. the relevant part of the vocal tract most engaged in producing the sound), the manner of articulation (i.e. the way air is moving through the vocal tract), and voicing.1

We’ll talk more about manner of articulation down the road when we get to consonants. Today, let’s focus on place of articulation and voicing. Let me just apologize in advance for the amount of terminology I’ll be throwing at you today. Just think of it as us inducting you into our secret linguists club.

To talk about place of articulation, we’re going to have to start with a little anatomy lesson:

Side view diagram of the vocal tract.
I know. I’m sorry. There is not a non-horrific way to draw this. Believe me, I’ve tried. Drawing this diagram is a rite of passage all young linguists must undergo.

This is a side view of the oral and nasal cavities. The lips, the teeth, and the tongue are, I hope, familiar features of the mouth. If you run your tongue across the roof of your mouth right behind your teeth, the bumpy, raised part is the alveolar ridge. Moving towards the throat, the hard part of the roof of your mouth behind the alveolar ridge is the palate, and the soft part behind the palate is the velum. The uvula is the little piece you can see dangling down in the back of the mouth when cartoon characters scream hysterically.

Generally, though not always, the place of articulation is where the flow of air through the mouth is most restricted. We use the Latin terms for the anatomy of the mouth to define place of articulation, so sounds involving the lips are called labial and sounds involving the teeth are called dental.

  • When the both lips come together, like when pronouncing ‘b’, a sound is called bilabial.
  • When the top teeth are against the bottom lip, like when pronouncing ‘v’, a sound is called labiodental.
  • When the tip of the tongue is against the teeth, like when pronouncing ‘th’, a sound is called dental.
  • When the tip of the tongue is against the alveolar ridge, like when pronouncing ‘d’, a sound is called alveolar.
  • When the front of the tongue is against the alveolar ridge and the front of the palate, like when pronouncing ‘sh’, a sound is called palato-alveolar or post-alveolar.

There are also palatal, velar, uvular, pharyngeal (referring to the pharynx, the back of the throat), and glottal sounds. You get the idea. Play around with it. Say some random consonants or say words slowly and see if you can’t get a feel for where the sound is “coming from.” (That’s always been one of my favorite parts of phonology: talking to myself and calling it studying.)

So, those are the basic places of articulation. The other feature we’re going to talk about today, voicing, has to do with the position of the vocal folds (colloquially, the vocal cords) and the glottis. This isn’t so much two things as a package deal. The glottis is the empty space between the vocal folds. (I didn’t draw a picture of this because vocal folds are ugly.)

When the vocal folds are drawn together and the glottis is narrowed but not completely closed, the air moving through the vocal tract has less space to pass through. Some sciencey stuff happens and the vocal folds begin to vibrate, causing the air to vibrate in turn, and the result is a voiced sound. When the vocal folds are held apart and the glottis is open, the air passes through the throat largely unhindered, and the result is a voiceless sound. You can try this out, too. Touch the front of your throat in the vicinity of the Adam’s apple and make some sounds. Can you feel the difference? (Hint: try producing ‘b’ and ‘p’. Be careful not to accidentally tack a vowel on the end!)

This may all sound a little complicated, and the terminology can feel like a lot to wade through when you’re first starting out, but don’t you fret. I promise this will all start making a whole lot more sense when we focus in on the consonants and vowels.

Phonology 101 will pick back up in February. Before we get to specific sounds, we’re going to talk about phonemes and how linguists (and our very own brains—yes, yours, too) separate sounds. Next week, Sabina will introduce us to the intricacies of language families (and you thought holidays with your relatives were complicated).

1This is all still basically true for vowels, but they get a little trickier. We’ll get to that.

Fun Etymology Tuesday – Guinea pig

¡Hola, pueblo de Facebook!

Happy new year!

Time moves inexorably forwards for all of us, and though it might seem that seven days be a long time, they’re but one flap of a beetle’s wings in the vast incomprehensible hugeness of time.
And so, here we are again with another Tuesday and yet another Fun Etymology!
This week’s word (or better, compound) is “guinea pig”!

Guinea pigs are medium-sized rodents native of the Andes in South America. They’re unique amongst rodents in being herbivores (whereas most other rodents are omnivores), and in having in common with humans the inability to create their own vitamin C. They’re also some of the cuddliest and cutest critters out there.
Reading this description, a couple of things probably occurred to you: guinea pigs are not pigs, and they don’t come from Guinea. Why the deuce (to borrow a very Victorian expression) are they called guinea pigs then?

The answer is: nobody knows for sure! Many hypotheses have been proposed, but none is entirely satisfactory. Some think they’re called that because they arrived in England on ships which came from South America via Guinea, so-called Guinea-men; others think it’s because they resemble the young of the breed of pig known as Guinea hog (they don’t); others still think it’s because of English people mishearing “Guyana” as “Guinea” (problem is they don’t come from Guyana either, though it’s a better approximation than Guinea, that’s for sure).
As for “pig”, it’s probably because of the squealing noises they make and the fact that they tend to become very fat.

Their original name in Quechua, the language once spoken in the Inca empire, is “quwi” (often spelled “cuy”). Perhaps we should just start calling them that.

To conclude this post, we’ll leave you with a photo of admin Riccardo’s own two little furry monsters.

See you around!


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Where Have All Our Working Men Gone?

By |2019-09-02T10:09:52-05:00August 22nd, 2017|Categories: Culture, Featured, Labor/Work, Politics, Television|

One-sixth of all men of prime working age in America are not just unemployed, but have stopped looking for jobs altogether. Why?… The US stock market continues to set new records. Unemployment continues to go down. The United States is now at or near “full employment.” According to a Bloomberg headline last year, “The [...]