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the process of becoming

a blog for twenty-somethings trying to navigate the world and follow your dreams

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remembering, and coming back to… where?

Whoa. Hey. I’m back.

But the question I ask myself is… where, exactly? This blog name is temporary, this post will only be seen by few before even I forget about it, my apartment lease is only for 12 months, I won’t even be a STUDENT anymore come mid-December… oh my gosh, nothing is permanent.

Nothing is permanent.

I will graduate, have to find a new job and a new apartment, write stuff (?), maybe change my marital status, do ministry, expand my family, live in other countries, make a difference….? Such lofty dreams for a 21 year old who feels as fragile as papyrus.

Nothing is permanent except Christ and His glory. That I can take faith in. He promises He won’t change, and He is just – yesterday, tomorrow, today.

Yet I rarely take real and true (as in … tangible, that prevents me from stressing) comfort in the promises of the Bible these days. Now, I don’t know if it’s because I am undergoing so much change, and my limbs are flailing out towards a grip in the midst of foaming rapids, or because I just feel… dry these days, but I’ve been facing a lot of lies. And I really need something to hold on to. My faith is still there, even if I still forget, still worry if my next paycheck will cut it, still worry about the rubble of student loans awaiting me in a few months, still doubt myself to the point of tears on random nights where I should instead be rejoicing.

Life is hard. It’s more than we can handle.

I watched footage of the collapse of the World Trade Center towers today, in remembrance of September 11th, 2001.

My nine-year-old self slept in that day, until right around 9 am. Shortly after finding breakfast, I walked to the downstairs of our small Minnesota-suburb home to start on my schoolwork for that day (this was shortly after my parents started homeschooling me).  I picked up a grammar book (Dad taught grammar and English in the morning before switching with my mom and going to work) just as my dad ran down the stairs and flipped on the TV in front of the couch. And for two hours we did nothing but stare at the screen.

I don’t really remember what emotions were going through my head. I wish I could find my journal entry (I was an avid writer even back then), but I can only see the screen. Falling debris. Ebony smoke rippling into the sky. Ash everywhere. People running. I didn’t understand…

Years later, I can’t remember exactly, the Christian radio station my mom listened to constantly in the car played an audio drama of one man’s phone call to his wife and children from one of the top floors of one of the towers. Mom cried. I cried. I think it wasn’t until then that I felt like I was in the shoes of those who were impacted. I had felt affected before, but that moment stands out in my mind more. I pray for those who lost family members and friends, and I still feel like I’m nine and I’m watching it for the first time. I shocks me every time.

I just finished the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, which made me want to start writing fiction again.

Slowly but surely I am realizing who I am and why and how experiences shape me into this person. But I am also learning about who I want to be. I don’t want to be someone who casually shrugs off what’s happening in this world, but I also can’t be the other extreme of crying over the little things (not spilled milk, but like… similar things. I am such a girl).

Anywho, my heart is heavy today as I write this, for more than the reasons listed, but I have this strange hope I haven’t felt in a long time… like God is answering my prayer to get me out of this desert and make me into a sturdy book instead of a fragile thin sheet. I will wait on Him for as long as it takes… which means my whole life.

This is worth it.

More later. My thoughts are a little scattered right now. But hey… I’m back. To here, at least.

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thoughts about my career life

Today, I am doing Writing for Magazines homework, which, at this moment, entails finding a magazine that accepts freelance writers that I could submit a piece to.

My last project was a zombies and spirituality article I wrote for (which is still in the drafting process, though I plan to share it with you soon!). For round two, I’m having troubles. The travel bug in me has turned into somewhat of a zombie itself, whispering “italyyyyyyy. ITALYYYYYYYY” in my brain until I just can’t take it anymore: I have to stalk my study abroad school’s photos to see what they’re all up to.

Then I start getting sentimental, I think of ideas for my personal essay I’m writing for senior project about my experience, I get on Tumblr, turn on the Candlepark Stars… and I’m gone.

This time, I stopped myself. I googled freelance writing magazines and have been perusing the travel writing guidelines and submission possibilities ever since. Then the idea occurred to me. Haven’t I been born and raised in Minnesota? Can’t I write something fresh and new about my very own homeland?

Pushing away the doubts and lies of “oh you’re too young. You haven’t really experienced Minnesota or city life at all, how could you write a piece and expect to get accepted when you haven’t even kept up on these magazines,” etc etc and blah blah blah, I decided to see what’s out there.

And then I start to get dreamy again.

I mean, look at these people. They’re living in their amazing hometown city and they get to explore and write about it for a living (well, I assume). And then they get to travel elsewhere too.

Is it too late (or, rather, too soon) for me to dream? Can’t this just be me one day?

And yet, I soon think about other factors: my introvertism and how I’m not sure city life would really be the thing for me (we’ll see what happens when I start living next to noisy neighbors in an apartment complex), or how what I really really want to just write for a ministry of some kind and get to work by forming relationships with people and serving them, or how… or how…

Who knows what’s going to happen. Maybe one day I will write a mind-blowing article about some awesome thing to do in St. Paul. Or maybe I’ll write a homeschooling article (now there’s where my experience comes in. Ha. That could be interesting) or a piece on “going up north” and all those things we Minnesotans do (don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about. You betcha).

Finding something fresh and new that hasn’t been written before is so, so challenging. But I can’t let that stop me from engaging in what I am experiencing and writing it all down. The fear of rejection can be a harmful anchor, and I refuse to let that prevent me from trying to succeed at something I love.

This degree will be worth it. Prepare to see my fruit. Image

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One year into being a post-doc I started to log my work activities. The original motivation was to create an overview about what it means to work as a post-doc developing computational cognitive models. About 7 years later and with my time as post-doc coming to an end in 2018 I slowly try to make sense of the data. This is work in progress. Stay tuned!

For my day to day work the most useful feature of the log so far has been to get an overview of what I have worked on in the recent past. Question: Why am I not further in what I wanted to do? What have I actually done last week? Where did the time go to? The log allows me to check this. Here’s an interactive plot of projects that I worked on and activities that this included for one exemplary week. Click on one of the project pieces of the pie to see the associated distribution of activities:

I wrote the activity logger myself. It’s a Python project using sqlite as database and an efficient command line interface allowing to log jobs by typing something like “coding for BeeMEG”, or “meeting with Dimitrije and Dario for BIworkshop”. The code is available on github.

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From Microsoft to Malawi

From Microsoft to Malawi

Learning on the Front Lines as A Peace Corps Volunteer

Book - 2011
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In this compelling narrative, Michael L. Buckler draws readers into the challenging, yet rewarding world of the Peace Corps. Inspired by his journals, the book recounts his life as a Peace Corps teacher after a heartbreaking divorce and a demanding legal career prompted him to make a change. Assigned to a village school in Malawi, Buckler opens his tiny home to three boys, embarking with them on a journey of cross-cultural discovery, personal sacrifice, and transformative growth. Determined to help his village, Buckler collaborates with community leaders to build a boarding school for girls. As momentum builds, a powerful bureaucrat tries to shut down the project and Buckler becomes discouraged. As he agonizes over whether to leave, the village takes matters into its own hands in a moving display of the persistent, courageous spirit of Malawi. -- Cover, p. 4.
Publisher: Lanham, Md. : Hamilton Books, c2011
ISBN: 9780761854012
Branch Call Number: 361.2606 BUCKLER
Characteristics: 220 p. ; 23 cm

From the critics

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Titel: Engelsch leesboek voor eerstbeginnenden, benevens een woordenboekje
Auteur: Gedike, Friedrich
Uitgave: Deventer: J. de Lange, 1853
6e verb. dr
Opmerking: Vert. van: Englisches Lesebuch für Anfänger, nebst Wörterbuch und Sprachlehre. - 1795
Auteursrechten: Zie auteursrechten
Citeerinstructie: Bijzondere Collecties van de Universiteit van Amsterdam, UBM: Obr. 4089
Onderwerp: Taal- en letterkunde naar afzonderlijke talen: Engelse taalkunde
Trefwoord: Engels, Leermiddelen (vorm)
Bekijk als:
Scan: Afbeeldinggrootte:
   Engelsch leesboek voor eerstbeginnenden, benevens een woordenboekje
Vorige scan Volgende scanScanned page
myself, in some scalping-party. How happened
it that your enemy did not lake off your scalp?
Duellist. Sir, I was killed in a duel. A friend
of mine had lent 7) me some money. After two
or three years, being in great want himself, he
asked me to pay him. I thought 8) his demand
an affront to my honour, and senthiinachallenge.
We met in Hyde-Park. The fellow could not
fence: I was the adroitest swordsman in Eng-
land. I gave him three or four wounds; but at
last he ran 9) upon me with such impetuosity,
that he put me out of my play, and I could not
prevent him from whipping mo through the lungs.
I died the next day as a man of honour should,
without any snivelling signs of repentance, and
he will follow roe soon; for his surgeon has de-
clared his wounds to be mortal. It is said, that
his wife is dead of her fright, and that his fa-
mily of seven children will be undone by his
death. So I am well revenged, and that is a
Savage. Mercury, I won't 10) go in a boat with
that fellow. He has murdered his countryman ;
he has murdered his friend; I say, I won't go
in a boat with that fellow. I will swim over
the river; I can swim like a duck.
Mercury. Swim over the Styx ! it must not be
done 11); it is against the laws of Pluto's empire.
Thou must go into the boat, and be quiet.
Savage. Do not tell rae of laws; I am a sa-
vage, I value no laws. Talk of laws to the En-
glishman. There are laws in his country, and
yet you see he did not regard thera. For they
could never allow him to kill his fellow-subject,
in time of peace, because he asked him to pay
a debt. I know, that the English are a barba-
rous nation ; but they cannot be so brutal as to
make such things lawful.
Mercury. Thou reasonest well against him. But
how comes it, that thou art so offended with mur-


text:
SN Magazine: February 2012

Read the February Digital Edition

View Digital Edition

For the third year in a row, as part of its Reader’s Choice issue, School Nutrition asked readers about topics that they would like to see covered in the magazine. The February issue of School Nutrition, SNA’s award-winning flagship publication, pulls together important topics such as new ideas to build cafeteria participation and dealing with difficult employees.

To be successful in today’s competitive marketplace with many options vying for student interest, you need to follow the lead of commercial foodservice and retail operations, so it’s essential to keep creativity top of mind when promoting and enhancing your program. I Spy…Marketing Success! takes a look at some innovative ways to build cafeteria participation.

Looking for some new ways to inject some dynamism into your routine staff meetings and trainings? Oh, Happy Day! offers a variety of suggestions for ways to shake things up. With a bit of extra planning and effort on your part, soon your team members just may be looking forward to your next team meeting.

Put Down the Whistle explores proven techniques to manage and interact with difficult employees in a way that can lead to a more productive, efficient and happier workplace.

You may have observed how seeing members of your staff or guest chefs wearing a white chef’s coat can make the eyes of kids of all ages light up. Kids’ Cooking Takes Center Stage provides examples and suggestions from school nutrition colleagues that might inspire you to let your students experience their own kitchen magic by teaching them valuable—and fun—culinary skills.

Bonus Web Content: Don’t miss some additional advice and resources to help you develop activities to teach kids how to cook—or to offer to parents for family activities conducted at home.

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Pick up any newspaper or magazine and you can read about the latest scientific breakthroughs in cancer, Alzheimer’s or heart disease. Just keep in mind that what you are reading is probably a commercial message direct from the authors, not an accurate representation of the paper itself. Medical journalists are supposed to interpret the findings of recent medical publications and present them to the general public in ways that they can understand. They are supposed to provide context for the discovery, explaining what it might mean for disease treatment or cure. Yet, they rarely do. Instead, they simply copy the press release.

Most people are unaware that scientists issue press releases about their work and they are certainly unaware that medical journalists often copy them word for word. Instead of presenting an accurate representation of medical research, medical journalists have become complicit in transmitting inaccurate or deceptive “puff pieces” designed to hype the supposed discovery and hide any deficiencies in the research.

Imagine if a journalist reviewing the newest Ford cross-over vehicle didn’t bother to drive the car, but simply copied the Ford brochure word for word. Could you rely on the journalist’s evaluation? Of course not. Yet that is precisely what medical journalists are doing each and every day.

Not surprisingly, there is a scientific paper describing recent trends in medical press releases. The paper in the of Annals of Internal Medicine, Press Releases by Academic Medical Centers: Not So Academic?, by Woloshin, and colleagues finds:

Of all 113 releases about human studies … [f]orty percent reported on inherently limited studies (for example, sample size <30, uncontrolled interventions, … or unpublished meeting reports). Fewer than half (42%) provided any relevant caveats…

Among the 87 releases about animal or laboratory studies, most (64 of 87) explicitly claimed relevance to human health, yet 90% lacked caveats about extrapolating results to people…

Twenty-nine percent of releases (58 of 200) were rated as exaggerating the finding’s importance…

Almost all releases (195 of 200) included investigator quotes, 26% of which were judged to overstate research importance…

Although 24% (47 of 200) of releases used the word “significant,” only 1 clearly distinguished statistical from clinical significance. All other cases were ambiguous …

Why is this a problem? The harm extends beyond the obvious point that it is deceptive, and a failure of medical journalists to do their job, which is to interpret the accuracy and relevance of scientific publications when writing about them. Because medical journalists credulously publish press release as if they were true, they are constantly publishing conflicting reports, contributing to the public’s distrust of medical research. Each day seems to bring a new report of a food, or a drug that will prevent or cure cancer. Within a week or a month or a year, the journalists are reporting that that food or drug does not prevent or cure cancer.

To the public, it looks like medical researchers are constantly making mistakes. Today they claim that a food will prevent cancer. Next month, the same food will be found to cause cancer. In reality, medical research never demonstrated either claim, but medical journalists reported preliminary findings or flawed research as if they were definitive even though that was untrue.

The willingness of journalists to pass on the information in press releases without checking is not just a function of laziness. Journalists often lack the knowledge of science and statistics that is needed to analyze the paper. Moreover, journalists appear to suffer from a misunderstanding of the scientific literature. Publication of a scientific paper is not the end of a process confirming the truth of a paper; it is only the beginning. Publication does not mean that the findings should be accepted uncritically; it merely means that the findings are worthy of being included in the ongoing public discussion that characterizes science.  The findings of the paper may ultimately be deemed worthless or wrong.

The Annals of Internal Medicine has done an important service in bringing this disturbing practice to light. You can’t believe what you read about medical research in newspapers and magazines because medical journalists are simply copying press releases, not analyzing the research for accuracy or relevance. Therefore, in the interest of accuracy and relevance, I must disclose a caveat to this important scientific paper. In what surely is an unintentional irony, The Annals of Internal Medicine publicly unveiled the paper and its findings by issuing a press release.

Posted by Amy Tuteur, MD


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Gluster 4.0 updated for containers, cloud

The first major release of the open source Gluster distributed file system software since December 2009 takes aim at container integration and storage management improvements for hybrid and multi-cloud deployments.

The Gluster development community rewrote the management engine for the new Gluster 4.0 release with the goals of boosting scalability and making the open source storage software easier to use, according to Amye Scavarda, the Gluster community lead at Red Hat.

“The last time that we did this, around 3.0, was a long time ago, and the world was a lot different then. Gluster and containers were not even something we thought of together,” Scavarda said. “So, we’ve worked on being able to replace some of the architecture around it to be able to have a more complete service-oriented architecture.”

New GlusterD2 management engine
The GlusterD2 (GD2) distributed management engine, which is available as a technical preview, exposes functionality through a set of REST-based application programming interfaces (APIs). GD2 includes a new command line interface (CLI) on top of the REST API for volume and membership operations. It also includes a flexible plugin framework for developers to add metrics.

The Gluster 4.0 release also deepens connections with the Kubernetes container orchestration framework through its integration with the open source Heketi provisioning tool, which downloads with the Gluster file system (GlusterFS) software.

The latest version of Heketi supports provisioning and expanding Gluster-block backed persistent volumes, custom volume names for persistent volumes, and metrics collection for Gluster volumes using the separately downloadable open source Prometheus tool.

“Heketi is a dynamic provisioner. It’s basically a way to be able to say, ‘Hey, I want to be able to create a volume. I want to be able to specify the size, the replication factor, and I don’t want to have to think about how Gluster needs that. I want to be able to just give it what I need and have Heketi go in and work with Gluster for that directly,” she said.

Prior Gluster versions used Heketi, but the new Gluster 4.0 major release now connects it with the new GlusterD2 management engine,  Scavarda said. She said the Gluster community has worked on improving container integration for the past three or four years, with a special focus on persistent storage and the integration with Kubernetes. She said Gluster users would now have a better way to expand volumes and replace disks and nodes.

Gluster focus on cloud use
“We’re really trying to think about the ways that people are using Gluster in the cloud,” Scavarda said. “They need to be able to actually use a system that already has storage and expand from there.”

Scavarda said that in addition to Kubernetes, Gluster also pairs well with Red Hat’s OpenShift container application platform. GlusterFS can be provisioned as the storage for a container environment, and the software can also run within a container.

New capabilities on the roadmap for future Gluster community releases include GlusterD2 management engine improvements and a graphical user interface, since many developers who write container-based applications are not storage experts, Scavarda confirmed.

Prominent users of the open source Gluster community software include cloud hosting and media companies, many of which like to test out the file system try the new features, according to Scavarda.

She could give no specific date when the commercially supported Red Hat Gluster Storage product would add the new Gluster 4.0 features. She said the capabilities in community releases tend to reach the supported product at least three to six month later.

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text:
Private Investigator in Snohomish - due dilligence

Chief Robert Henze has spent 39 years in law enforcement. One year as a undercover drug investigator with the Grant County Sheriff Department, Wisconsin. The next 25 years with the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department, Wisconsin coming up through the ranks serving as jailer, patrolman, detective, patrol sergeant, Lieutenant in charge of the jail,

Chief Henze served as the President, Vice President and Past President of the Dane County Chiefs Association, served on a number of multi-jurisdiction task forces and committees; the Dane Interoperability Radio Project, developed the Dane County Chaplaincy program, chaired a task force to develop a county-wide pursuit best practice policy, safe communities drug overdose initiative steering, and District Attorney Task Force to develop protocols for responding to officer involved deaths. Chief Henze partnered with Dane County Safe Communities to improve pedestrian safety.

Robert is a professional effective leader with the ability to assess the needs of a police department and community. He has re-engineered a police department that had low morale, lacked employee retention, was a training grounds for other departments, poor relationship with the union and lacked trust, respect and confidence from the community. Robert used the TEAM (together everyone accomplishes more) approach to regain the respect, trust and professionalism within the department and rebuilt the trust, respect and confidence of a community for their police department. All of the stakeholders. Robert looks forward to sharing with you the key TEAM Team comprising components to accomplish this.

Robert asks community and business leaders this question, “ Could there be events that occur within your community or business where existing processes are or could be perceived to be conflict of interest and biased? If the answer is yes, then the next question, would having a contingency plan in place to address these situations be appropriate? Intravaia can be your contingency plan. You can be proactive to conduct your research ahead of time and place us in your toolbox. We will be ready whenever the need arises.  Robert looks back at his career and wishes he would have had a more open mind and been proactive to have this resource in the toolbox for the entire village, “Nobody looks forward to these types of events, but when that situation arises, that is not the time to research out a consultant”. There is no cost by having us in your toolbox.

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text:
PGI Status London Cure Smoked Salmon Whole Fillet D-Cut Sliced

PGI Status London Cure Smoked Salmon Whole Fillet D-Cut Sliced

Regular price £70.00

One fillet of Secret Smokehouse’s PGI status 'London Cure Smoked Salmon' is enough for 10-12 people as a starter. D-cut sliced will offer easier preparation for the buyer—a superb option if you’re using it for multiple breakfasts or snacks throughout the week.

We only source salmon from the most-renowned Scottish sustainable farms.

We never use frozen salmon, colouring agents, nitrates or any form of artificial preservatives. Our fish are also not fed GM food.

Last but no means least, our production is entirely by hand, based on a traditional artisan approach so much so we were awarded a Protected Geographical Indicator [PGI] certification. That's major!

Delivery Info: FREE ParcelForce24 next day delivery on orders over £50. Orders under, it's an additional £5.99. Orders placed Mon-Thurs before 11am we send for that day. Orders place outwith including the weekend we send on the Monday. For Delivery Terms & Info please [click here].

Weight: 1.2kg approx

  • RSPCA High Welfare Certified Scottish Farmed SALMON [FISH] (Salmo salar) 97%
  • Salt 3%
  • [ALLERGENS are identified in CAPS BOLD type. Although every care has been taken to remove all bones some may remain.]

Storage: Keep refrigerated between 0° to 5°C. Consume within 3 days of opening the pack. Do not exceed the use by date.

Catch Area: Harvested from the cold, tidal waters off Scotland

Category of fishing gear: n/a


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Gluten Free Seed Crackers2018-11-14T16:19:19+00:00

Mia’s Grain Free Seed Crackers

Mia’s Seed Crackers is a small SA family business focused on making the best gluten free seed crackers in the Australian market. Our crackers contain no gluten, grains, nuts, egg, dairy or yeast. They are low in carb, vegan and paleo friendly. In short a healthy, light and crispy cracker made entirely from seeds, some herbs and salt. We have an amazing range of different  flavours and textures, you’re bound to find your favourite. Perfect for your platter, for your dip, for breakfast or as a snack.

If you haven’t tried them yet,  you’ll find a list of retailers under Retailers in SA. More places are added as we go along. Of course you can also buy the crackers in our online shop.

sesame seed gluten free

My crackers are free of:

  • EGG

  • NUTS

seed crackers

I discovered the crackers a few weeks ago and am officially obsessed, so will probably find you will be delivering to me again in the future 🙂

Tania , Adelaide

Public Service Announcement! These seed crackers are awesome! Had some today with some amazing local cheeses! Thought they were only available in store (Adelaide), but discovered that she sells them online!

Sarah, Hahndorf

“…Mia Ringsparr’s gluten free crackers…They are the BEST! We love supporting local producers & boy does Mia have a cracker of a product!”.

Goodies & Grains, Central Market, Adelaide

I bought two packs of your cracker direct from you on King William Road! I brought them home and my family loved them! As a gluten free family who loves cheese we always struggle to find the perfect cracker to go with them. Now we have! I will definitely be repurchasing in the future!

Ruth, Adelaide

Mia Ringsparr crackers awesome!

Sally, Adelaide

Won´t eat other crackers. These are pure unadulterated bliss! So healthy!

Nicky, Adelaide

Ready to buy some awesomeness?


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De Boer Confirms Palace Interest In Scottish Prospect

Crystal Palace boss Frank de Boer declared his interest in signing Red Bull Leipzig winger Oliver Burke in today’s pre-match press conference.

With just under two weeks of the transfer window left open, the Dutchman confirmed the rumours emerging from Germany that he was keen to negotiate a deal for the highly promising Scottish prospect. The 20 year-old would be making a swift return to England after just a year since joining the newly-qualified Champions League outfit for €15 million from Nottingham Forest.

Ahead of the weekend trip to Liverpool, de Boer told the gathering media: “Burke is a very promising, young Scottish player. It’s always interesting to look at, but we are focusing on other players, too.”

After the shocking 0-3 home defeat to Huddersfield Town on the opening day last weekend, de Boer is well aware of the need for strong reinforcements.

German media outlet Bild followed up original claims from Kicker that Palace were in talks with RB Leipzig over a deal. Despite the German club’s sporting director playing down thoughts of Burke’s potential exit earlier in the summer, it looks like a deal could be completed by the Eagles by the end of the window.

Let’s face it, why else would Frank mention it if there wasn’t a chance it could happen? Here’s hoping the rumoured £15-18 million outlay won’t hamper our bigger, more pressing moves in the market.

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text:
Sexy strip quiz 6

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Sexy brunette enjoys people and she is going to strip for you personally, if you're clever enough to answer some questions. Concentrate on inquiries and revel in her body.

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Tired of not getting results?

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I commit to give you the greatest fitness breakthrough of your life and make your journey FUN if you commit to train

5 times a week with this 3 month program.

I’ve created a super efficient program that we will customize according to your own goals and wishes. 3 levels of this program will GUARANTEE your best shape.

I’ve made it as easy as possible for you to achieve the results and create healthy habits.

Fitness is a lifestyle and it is a fun one!

“Body Sculptor”

What you get:

  • Custom tailored 3 month workout program (3 level option)
  • Special detox program
  • Mindset tune up
  • Weekly progress review and program corrections
  • Online support
  • Nutrition guidelines
  • Constant motivation and fitness hacks
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Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem-snow day January 6, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:52 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

It snowed

and snowed

and snows

and snows.

The radio announces

the school districts are cancelling school.

The radio announcers laugh

at how happy the kids are to have extended vacation.

Meanwhile the teachers

text one another messages that always end,

ShuswapSnowJan5-2015-2100hrsLiving in Canada, we’re used to snow.  We have the equipment and infrastructure to clear it.  As a result, neither as student nor teacher had I experienced a “snow day” before.  Sometimes when we lived north in Prince George, BC if it was below -40 C (or F they’re the same at that temperature) the buses wouldn’t run, but schools were still open and teachers were expected to be there.  It started snowing Saturday, January 3rd and then it kept snowing Sunday and Monday.  Yesterday (Monday) at 9 pm 20 inches (51 cm) had accumulated on our back deck.  The snow clearing machinery couldn’t keep up.  The side roads were plugged.  Cars were stuck all over the place.  Because plows were clearing roads, they couldn’t clear school parking lots.  So school was cancelled!  Yesterday and today!

Yesterday I used the time to do some reading I didn’t get to over the holiday, because I was finishing work on my latest novel project, While I Was Out.  Last night, just when the second closure was announced, I got the syllabus and links for my latest Masters class in my email.  This class is delivered online.  So!  Lucky me, I get five bonus hours to work on my course.  That makes today a professional development day for me.  🙂

29 Responses to “poem-snow day”

  1. Every day counts, mightily, towards something of value, so what’s downtime, in one context, is diamond time, in another.

  2. As a retired teacher, I so relate! : )

  3. Today I saw some snow flurries in the early morning and then they were gone.

  4. Lorien Says:

    I was an elementary school teacher for five years. Snow days always felt like the greatest of gifts, catching up on grading in my pajamas while drinking tea=AWESOME.

    • lol
      I’m pretty faithful about having all my marking done before I leave school every day. I try to never bring anything home, and I will stay late the last day before holidays to ensure that all my planning is done for the first week back, so it doesn’t hang over my head making me feel guilty all holiday. Balance is the key!

      • Lorien Says:

        What a smart lady you are! Not taking any of it home sounds wonderful. So does staying late to plan before vacation so that you have it all together for the first week back. What incredible discipline you have! How long have you been teaching? This kind of discipline sounds like the kind that has been hard won through experience. My hats off to you!

      • 22 years. It’s a good thing I planned my main course until Feb and posted it on the class room wall (drama production rehearsal schedule) since I broke my ankle yesterday, and a substitute (or several of them) will be taking over for a week or two. Hopefully the structure provided will help the kids shine as they work it out!

  5. Jarrod C Says:

    I realize you become acclimated to your surroundings but I just can’t see how you guys can live in a place that gets so cold! Stay warm!

    • It’s not at all cold, Jarrod! During all the snow it was barely below freezing, now we’re getting freezing rain, so it’s above freezing. Our houses are well insulated and our heating systems are good.

  6. cmd1122 Says:

    Love it! 🙂 I had almost forgotten about snow days…almost.
    Happy New Year!

  7. syl65 Says:

    The school I work at is closing tomorrow because of frigid temps. Not a “Yay!” from one single teacher. I secretly said “Yay!” in my mind. Thanks Shawn 🙂

  8. Ayeh Says:

    I couldn’t of saying it better… It’s the same here. I follow your blog and really love your posts! keep up the good work! Best wishes, Ayeh.

  9. Shannon Says:

    I heard that the Inuit people were telling Nasa there has been a pole shift. I have no idea if it is true but we are having record polar weather down south of you. 🙂

  10. We had 2 inches way south of Canada, schools were open, but we slid and slipped all over the roads and we all got stuck in unplowed parking lots!

  11. il poeta ebreo Says:

    Nice and I’m not much for the cold weather

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Downtown Street Vendors

Downtown Greenville is alive and flourishing, and its wide sidewalks, lush greenery and unique blend of shops and restaurants come together to create a pedestrian-friendly atmosphere. In addition to traditional brick-and-mortar businesses, street vendors also contribute to the urban landscape and can be found throughout downtown’s Central Business District (CBD).

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The Quran: Epic and Apocalypse

Author(s): Todd Lawson

Religions / Faith

Suppose our knowledge of the Quran began only recently with the discovery of mysterious scrolls in a desert cave. Suppose there was no Islamic history and no Muslim community to help us understand this book. Is it conceivable, then, that we might mistake it for the central text of a long-vanished apocalyptic community whose ideas about the next world, colorful and extraordinary as they appear, nonetheless make perfect sense in the context of perhaps the most pervasive literary genre of late antiquity, the epic?

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Todd Lawson is Emeritus Professor of Islamic Thought at the University of Toronto. He has taught in the field of Islamic Studies for over forty years and published numerous books and articles in Quranic Studies and related topics. He lives in Montreal.

General Fields

  • : 9781786072276
  • : Bloomsbury Publishing PLC
  • : Oneworld
  • : December 2017
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  • : United Kingdom
  • : December 2017
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  • : 297.1/226
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  • : Todd Lawson


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Fur Babies

If you love my stories and comics, check out my Patreon page. You can support my work and get unique rewards!

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14 thoughts on “Fur Babies

  1. Okay, but when I was pregnant I did dream that I gave birth to my best friend’s orange tabby. Who had recently died, actually, so there were several layers of weird there. I’m not saying actual human babies are a disappointment, but cats are awesome and that dream birth was much quicker and simpler than the reality.

    1. Wow. That dream sounds pretty intense. I have some questions. Was the in-reality-dead tabby dead, undead or magically alive in the dream? Also was it a kitten at the time of the dream birth or an adult cat? Finally, claws?

      1. Fully alive, fully grown, and he’d been declawed in real life so he gave me no (ahem) “birthing issues” and was great at hugs (IRL and in the dream). But then my friend was so excited to have her dead cat back that she sued for custody, so that sucked.

    2. I’ve been reading a buncha “science fixion” recently, and you, your dream, the symbolism, well, certainly seems you have at least a toe-hold into/onto adjoining dimensions there …

    1. I still find the parental aspect a bit odd. I just think a pet-owner relationship is it’s own, very cool, thing. I don’t think it needs to be likened to a parent-baby relationship to be valid.

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Single Mummy Life – A year In review -How  was 2015 for you?-

So you did it! You  made it through  Christmas and now its just New Years Eve to navigate and we are done for another year!  I am still on holiday from work  and its taken till now to finally decompress and relax.

So what shall we do now I hear you say? As 2015  draws to a close it’s time to reflect on the year that has passed and look forward to the new one.

2015 was was a  roller coaster  of a year for me  with  big highs and some  very  lows days  for me. I am not sure whether I am glad to see the back of it to be honest but I guess I have to be thankful for the highs and I need to reflect and learn from the lows.

So here is my Single Mummy Life  2015  review with both good and bad bits included.

The best thing that happened to me all year  was starting this blog  (and it is doing great) I have found a rich vein of creativity that has inspired me to do new things with my life,  develop new skills. connect with new people and  start a business it has been amazing , transformational and has definitely changed my life for the better.

Another wonderful thing that happened  was that I had a piece published  in a national newspaper.  The article was about my experiences of being the single mother of mixed race children and how  black and mixed people are represented in the media. It was also a lesson for me in grabbing opportunities as they are presented to you, a journalist asked to write something following a post in social media and although I was scared I didn’t  hesitate.and the results were fantastic foe me.

The children  are a massive part of my life and we have been through a lot together this year. Teen Boy finished school and started university and  is now getting paid to play rugby part time  which is a massive achievement and  a culmination of years of dedication and hard  work. Teen girl  got into the performing arts school of her dreams  which was like a  reality TV fairy tale  and she  has been so much happier ever since.   Don’t get me wrong  we still have our  challenges but its wonderful to see your children go through tough times and come out the other side smiling

Coming to terms with the end of my  marriage and feeling a failure because of it was one of the recurring lows of this year. I had busied my myself with work education and the children in years since my divorce, never really dealing with the emotional side of a very difficult time, my ex remarrying and moving abroad has allowed to time to heal time to grieve and time to move on

I moved to London 30 years ago so 2015 was a time to celebrate my  career and all the friends I met along the way. I had a blast at two Nursing  reunions and realised that I have had a fantastic life so far one that has been filled with love laughter and happiness .

So that was my 2015  full of highs and lows but mostly highs to be honest and with 2016 just round the corner I am looking forward to more adventures, more friends more opportunities and loads of fun

How was 2015 for you?  I would love to hear from you and how it was for you.  you can tweet me  or message me on my Facebook page or leave a comment below. I would be really pleased to hear from you and always reply to comments about my posts.  I want to take this opportunity to thank you reading my blog for your support,thoughts and comments it is much valued and appreciated.

As we look forward to the New Year. I wish you peace,prosperity and all good things

Take care of you

Dawnie  x

Singlemummylife -Top 10 tips for managing Christmas as a single parent

I love Christmas always have but the holidays can be a lonely and stressful time for single parents  and I  know that I feel a bit lost in having to manage the day on my own. So here are my  top 10 tips for managing at Christmas

  1. Decide where you will be. Make a decision as soon as you can.  Factor in your  co parent if they are  around and your network of support. If someone invites you for Christmas bite their hand off and go.
  2. Plan some time off  to do your shopping, every year Christmas comes as a surprise to me so I need a day or two to get myself sorted.
  3. The internet is fabulous,  use it well. I am saving a lot of time doing some of my shopping online ( what did we do before?)
  4. Make a plan for who you are going to see and when over the holidays.  At Christmas I try to see as many friends and family as I can and as we live all over the country this requires a lot of strategic time tabling.
  5. Plan some time when you don’t go anywhere  or do anything treat it as a date with yourself.
  6. Ask the kids what they would like and specify a budget. My kids are too old for Santa so I ask them what they would like and try to fit in as much as I can. It’s also useful to have if friends and family ask what the kids would like for Christmas.
  7. If anyone asks you what you would like for Christmas ask for stuff that you would like but wouldn’t buy for yourself. Make up, earrings, fancy bubble bath that sort of thing.
  8. If you can, buy yourself one thing that you wouldn’t dream of buying during the rest of the year. Wrap it up like you would for a loved one, then open it on Christmas Day and keep everyone guessing as to who bought it.
  9. Create  family traditions that make  Christmas time special one of ours is playing intergerational  (and very competitive ) games of scrabble and Monopoly.
  10. If you do have to spend some time on your own at Christmas make the time into a massive treat. Stay in your pyjamas, wrap up warm and binge watch your favourite films/ Tv series. Eat nice food, drink wine and congratulate yourself on  the great job you have done all year.

So there you have it,  my tips for  managing Christmas as a single parent. I have probably missed loads out and you  guys will have your own tips. If you have let me know.

Have a good one and take care of you.

Dawnie x

15 Simple Rules for surviving with teenagers

Remember when you were a teenager. I do. I remember thinking I was very wise and that adults knew nothing, nothing I was interested in knowing anyway, how times change I am now really old and a single parent with 2 teenagers.

I love my Teen Boy and Teen Girl I really do they are kind talented and funny. They are brilliant company and a joy to be with but you don’t need me to tell you that bringing up a teenagers can be really tough. I struggle with untidy rooms and dirty laundry, if anyone has the answer to that please let me know.
Its half term and my Teens and I are on holiday this week, its winter and we aren’t going away, so we have been spending a lot of time together, well I say together we are in the same house they come down from their rooms for food and money. We are all still smiling just. So with this mind and with love I thought I would share with you 15 simple rules to surviving the half term holidays  ( or any prolonged period of time) with teenagers.

  1. Keep them fed and hydrated, make sure there is simple to prepare nourishing food available at all times, a hungry teenager is a miserable teenager.
  2. Remember whatever you say or whatever you do it  is embarrassing for them.dreamstime_xs_33196543
  3. Plan one trip with them it could be to see a film or going shopping it gets them out of their rooms and helps make memories. I am big on making memories
  4. Refrain from saying “back in my day”. They don’t care about your day it’s as relevant to them as the 1920’s are to you. They don’t know what a cassette tape looks like and care less.
  5. Listen, resist all urges to interrupt them when they are talking to tell them what you would do or about your experiences. I know it’s fascinating to you  but they just want you to listen.
  6. Do not negate their fears, you know that they are talented and pretty/handsome you know that they are going to be a successful adults but they don’t and it’s normal for them to worry about it.
  7. You don’t have to win at all costs, you know that you win any argument easily, let them win sometimes it will boost their confidence
  8. Try not to lose it when they lose or break your stuff they didn’t do it on purpose.
  9. Spend some time alone with them. I know you are busy and have loads to do. I find that you have the best conversations when you are alone together
  10. Talk and talk often, talk about the world what’s important to them what they think about politics, I was surprised (and pleased) at how left leaning my teens are, I use the opportunity to talk when I am giving them a lift somewhere.
  11. Make an effort to spend time with them, I watch Match of the Day with Teen Boy and The X factor  with Teen Girl, I know its television  but it works and gives us a common interest  that we share and talk about.
  12. Encourage them to see their friends it gets them out of the house and its good for them to have networks for when they are not in school.
  13. Be kind to their friends they are very important to them  and provide them  with support that you can’t.
  14. It’s natural to be wary of boyfriends/girlfriends, be supportive of any relationships during the good times and be there for your teens in the bad times.
  15. Enjoy! They won’t be a teenagers forever (they were babies just the other day!) They will eventually want to spend their time and their  holidays with other people (sob) Cherish this time and you will remember it with fondness.

Do you have any tips for surviving as single parent  with teens,if you have I would love to hear from you, leave a comment or contact me. I am looking forward to hearing from you

until the next time

D x

The Single Mummy Life Machine is broken! 15 things that won’t  get done when you are ill

I was  ill last weekend. Struck down by a heavy cold which went to my chest and left me feeling cold, weak and apathetic

I usually spend the weekend doing the washing the shopping the cooking the cleaning that I don’t get a chance to do during the week ( yes my life is that exciting)

As a result of being so ill I couldn’t be bothered to make my own dinner ( yes really ill) all that went  out of the window.

As I surveyed a mountain of unwashed dishes and a front room I couldn’t possibly let anyone see,  I thought I would  let other single parents  know (as well as Teen Boy and Teen Girl) what to expect when the single mummy machine breaks down.

  1. The dishes wont get washed.   As you are the last person on earth who doesn’t have a dishwasher you will realise the dishwasher is you and you are broken.
  2. The washing will pile up. You do have a washing machine but no tumble dryer and the energy to load and unload wet washing will be beyond you. As for ironing you will remember you never did it anyway.
  3. The kids will expect  all mummy services to be functioning as usual, the teens although sympathetic to your plight will still demand, lifts , money, your ear  and food on the table. You will start to hate them (a little) for it.
  4. You will feel disgruntled, being a single mummy is a 24hr seven day a week job with no pay or holidays, which is fine when you are well and happy,  but rubbish when you are not. You will feel fed up.
  5. You will long for the days of when you had a live in partner. When cups of tea  and meals magically appeared from nowhere and the washing up was not your problem. You will remember when you had an Au pair and be wistful for those halcyon days  your eyes will well up.
  6. You will watch trash TV  on repeat (Say Yes to the  Dress anyone?)  and enjoy the formulaic mindlessness of it all because anything else is exhausting.
  7. You will pass on the free tickets you won in a competition  to  see  Pharell Williams  ( yes readers this really happened) because you are exhausted and can’t be bothered to queue with healthy people who  have the energy to stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time
  8. You will struggle to get dressed and consider going to the supermarket (the fridge is empty)   in your pyjamas.  You will forget that there is such a thing as online shopping.
  9. The teens will claim  there is no food in the house minutes) after you have been shopping  when what they mean is there is no food which takes less than 2 minutes in a microwave to prepare. You will  order Pizza.
  10. You won’t call anyone because you are too tired to talk.
  11. You will feel friendless as you have not spoken to an adult for days, this will not be true it’s just you are too ill to call then (see number 9)
  12. Your hair will stay gray for another weekend but you won’t care.
  13. The  reading for work you planned to do at home this weekend won’t get done.
  14. Any cups of tea the teens make for you will taste like nectar.
  15. Getting the shopping finally put away after 2 will feel like a massive victory .

Is there anything I have forgotten?
So friends how do you manage when you are ill, on your own with the kids and you still have to parent them feed them and keep the house going?

Let me know I would love to hear from you 😊

Till the next time

Single Mum Dawn

40 Life Hacks for Single Mummy Life

Frippery Jar

I have been a single Mummy for eight years and loads of things have happened in that time. Some good things and some bad things.

I got divorced and I have fallen in and out of love (to) many times.

My children have grown into beautiful teenagers who are a joy and a challenge to live with.

I have had highs and lows in my career being made redundant 3 times and promoted twice.

I have struggled with my weight, losing 3 stone and gaining half of it back.

I have made friends, kept friends and unfortunately lost some friends.

I have also a started a couple of blogs and I am currently trying to make my writing hobby  a career.

I have also learnt a lot about myself about live, love and my career, so I thought I would take stock and share some of the lessons I have learned with you in the hope that it will help  you in some way.

So here goes

  1. Do not chase any man, the right man will find you, when you are ready
  2. If a man tells you something you don’t want to hear e.g. “I don’t want a relationship” listen and act accordingly (I have learnt this the hard way)
  3. Make time for your family they are a constant and will always be there for you
  4. Get some sleep, sometimes you will be so tired you will pray for unconsciousness
  5. Know where all your documents are driving licence, house insurance etc. you will never know where they are when you need them
  6. Don’t bad mouth you ex ( even when he has driven you to distraction ) to you kids, they are part of him and will see that as a criticism of themselves
  7. Find time to do something for yourself even if it’s watching Big Brother for  an hour, make this time sacred.
  8. Time is your precious resource use it well once it’s gone it gone
  9. Enjoy every moment of you kids childhood it goes so quickly
  10. Don’t be a slave to your job nobody lay on their deathbed and said “I wish I could have worked more”
  11. Take lots of photos of everything, your kids , your friends, everywhere you go and everything you do, its lovely looking back at good times
  12. Make memories with your children they will remember them with fondness as they grow up
  13. Have private jokes with your children,  catchphrases that only you know about, it will bond you as a family
  14. Take out one of those policies that covers the plumbing drains etc trust me  when you are ankle deep in sewage, they are worth there weight in gold
  15. When your kids tell you there dreams, encourage them  and support them 100% it motivates them to succeed
  16. Teach your children to cook as soon as they are old enough, this will help no end when you come home from work.
  17. Encourage your children to tidy up after themselves ( I didn’t) and it causes a lot of stress and arguments
  18. Save up and buy yourself something you don’t need. I put my spare change into a piggy bank I can’t open I call it my “Frippery Jar”
  19. At Christmas and Birthdays tell you kids how much you are going to spend and let them decide what they want within your budget
  20. If you have your own place keep it at all costs it’s your investment for the future.
  21. Make a will , if anything happens you would want to spare your children the worry of sorting out your estate when they are grieving
  22. Have a film that you watch when you are feeling down mine is “Moonstruck”  Cher is in it and it’s wonderful!
  23. Try and sort your child support payments amicably if that can’t be done work towards not needing them
  24. Know that your children love you unconditionally even when it feels that they don’t
  25. Be aware of your moods, and know you can sometime difficult to live with, my kids and I are slaves to my hormones.
  26. Say no to your kids sometimes. Practice it does get easier
  27. Beware of married men who want you to make them feel better about their lives don’t let it be at your cost
  28. Whatever you are aiming for you can get it,   be it  a job, a man, or a new skill it’s there for the taking. Go for it
  29. Look after your health, being sick as a single mummy is no fun, have a contingency plan for when you literally can’t get out of bed
  30. Watch or read the news every day you need to know what’s going on in the world ( and it helps with your general knowledge
  31. Laugh with someone everyday it keeps you young makes it all worth it
  32. Keep in touch with your friends their network of support is worth millions.
  33. Don’t be scared, you can do anything and achieve everything you set out to do.
  34. Have something to look forward to, it makes life easier when times are hard.
  35. Stay in touch with your friends who don’t have children be sensitive of their feelings and support there choices
  36. Don’t take work home, when you are at work, work hard, when you are home, be whatever you want to be
  37. Have some life insurance be reassured that your mortgage will be paid off. If the worst happens
  38. Make any tradesmen who come to your home  a cup of tea. They love it and it makes then nice to you
  39. Have one outfit that makes you feel really special, if you haven’t got one get one,
  40. Enjoy yourself  you are amazing , you only have one life so  live it, love it and laugh!

Did it help? Do you have any Life Hacks for single mums  ( and dads) you would be willing to share I would love to hear from you

Till the next time

Single mum Dawn

Letter to Teen Girl 2 : Reflections on applying to the BRIT School.

Dear Teen Girl

You have had a rollercoaster of a year!

You are an aspiring actress, you are really good with a lovely voice and excellent comic timing.  You showed promise at primary school and have been doing drama at the weekends for a few years,  you have  even been on the tele (House of Anubis Unlocked it was on Nickelodeon no one saw it) I was pleased and punch despite being unsure where that very posh voice you used came from.

You decided to apply to the theatre strand at The BRIT School in South London after watching one of those crappy reality shows (that we love) about life at a performing arts school.

I could write a book about the application process, there was an open evening, the highlight of which included me showing you up by lightly flirting with a very smiley Dad I thought l knew from work, only realising later it was the actor who plays Dr Sacha in Holby City! The shame! That’ll learn me to talk to smiley blokes who look vaguely familiar….

Anyway that was followed by a testing online application form, where you came up with meaningful answers (with no help from me) to questions such as….. What has been your best performance so far and why? Why do you think theatre is important?  You also had to present your year eight report which hadn’t been your finest hour frankly but we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

You got an interview. You  chose a brilliant  and brave audition piece about  a girl who had mental health problems, which I found very moving, followed by what I thought was a really  testing panel interview  (I have had easier interviews for senior positions) where they grilled you  on your  motivation, commitment, school work and attitude.

I was astounded at your composure and maturity, at thirteen I would have wilted under the pressure, the interview over, I knew you had done very well but had you done enough?

Eventually the letter came, it wasn’t the big fat envelope we had been hoping for, instead a note thanking you for applying, saying that you hadn’t been offered a place due to the high number of quality applications and you  that were on the reserve list.

A bittersweet outcome, you were good enough to get in but hadn’t got in, what were you supposed do with that?

You were so upset it was so difficult to watch, all that hard work had seemly come to nothing, there was a glimmer of hope though (the reserve list) but it appeared impossible.

The pushy parent in me found out how many people were on the waiting list (12!!).  It didn’t look good.  You thought it was highly unlikely that anyone would drop out. I did too, I decided kept my doubts to myself and cross my fingers.

We decided to chalk it up as a positive achievement and to concentrate on making the best of your current school.  You decided that you would apply again for the BRIT sixth form in two years  and we reminded ourselves about the successful actors who hadn’t gone to the BRIT School

Life went on, to my horror you lost interest in acting and most things, I wasn’t sure if it was being a teenager or depression, your dad got remarried and moved abroad, you had some problems with your health. You were very sad. I was really worried about you.

As the summer continued we both began to give up hope, you stopped asking if I had heard anything and I stopped mentioning it. It was easier.

Just before September I eventually rebought your whole school uniform, it cost a fortune (grrr) and you went back to school.

You seemed resigned, happier, and smiled more than you had in weeks.

You decided to go back to drama at the weekends, I was relieved, was the old Teen Girl coming back?

Just when we thought that we had got it sorted, life delivers something that is going to change your life forever…

I was lying in bed reflecting on how rubbish the last few months have been when I got a phone call.

It was the BRIT!!?

My heart was pounding had somebody dropped out?

“Would you like some good news”

“Would Teen Girl   still be interested in coming to the BRIT School?”

“Could you come to the school now to sign the forms?”

It  was like when Simon Cowell rings the Wild Card on the XFactor! I can honestly say I now know how they feel. Somewhere between heart attack and orgasm (not that you would know anything about that!).

I waited until you came home to tell you the news, understandably you reacted with a combination of shocked surprise and concern.

You are delighted but fearful, you worry that you won’t make friends and it will be like starting Year seven again.

Your lovely friends are pleased and proud for you but sad for themselves. A bit like myself… There was laughter and tears, something for everyone.

You start on Monday!

I need to tell you that you are amazing, you have worked so hard and overcome adversity in so many forms, I am delighted that your talent has been recognised and I am so proud of you.

The message I guess is never give up hope and believe, as you never know what’s around the corner

I believe dreams do come true and I believe in you

Lights Camera you’re on, Teen Girl, take a bow, your sparkling   future is ahead …Congratulations

Break a leg!

I Love You

Single Mum Dawn x

Letter to my Teenage Girl as Dad moves abroad

Teen Girl you have had a tough year, your favourite teacher who believed in you, motivated and inspired you died very suddenly. You didn’t get into the school that you dreamed would help you pursue your talent and vocation and now your Dad has remarried and is moving abroad.

You were only little when we divorced, I have often wondered  how much you remember,  I know that you have sometimes blamed yourself  for the divorce and some of the difficulties we have experienced since then  I want you to know that none of this is your fault and that we both love and are very proud of you.

I sometimes think the true cost of our divorce is only becoming apparent now as you move from being a tween to being a fully-fledged teenager about to start your GCSE’s.

Your sadness is palpable, you have lost confidence, some of your infectious joy, fearlessness and ability to engage with everything and everybody with a smile. You have however maintained your ability to see the best in everyone including inexplicably Katie Hopkins!

You worry about your weight and your looks. You are developing your own sense of style and opinions about the world. You are tentatively discovering boys.  There have been tantrums and tears, we have hurt each other with thoughtlessness and cruel words.  I feel that you direct some of your anger at me because I am here, I try to understand what you are going through (I do remember what it was like) although it is difficult to deal with sometimes.

Your pain about your dad leaving makes me sad, I sense your bewilderment, it echoes the sadness I feel about the relationship with my own father who also lives abroad now. A distant tense relationship with so much anger and hurt remaining unsaid. I don’t want that for you.

I worry who will be your  safe male role model, who you will be attracted to, what sort of relationships will be your normal? I hope your experiences do not mirror mine, I hope that I can support you to spare you that.

I will help you maintain your relationship with your father (you are the teen queen of social media and technology) and I hear you when say that’s not the same and not enough. I will be here for you when you are finding it hard. It won’t be the same as it was when he lived a mile away it will just be different

You have seen so much in your short life, illness, death of family member’s, difficult friendships, rejection, turbulent relationships and divorce.  I know ultimately these experiences will shape you and make you stronger. I know its difficult now though and far from the idyllic teen life we see on the TV.

You are smart funny talented and braver than you realise, you have always been a delight to be with. I want you to know that although you have had a lot of loss and disappointment this year and your world is changing fast there is always light at the end of the tunnel.  Hold onto to your dreams, I know that you will be a success in whatever you chose to do because you are amazing and my favourite girl in the world

Love your Single Mum Dawn


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AARP Encouraged Me to Start My Own Business — AARP

Eva Bonilla had a successful career, but it wasn’t until she retired that she found her true calling. Volunteering with AARP inspired Eva to start a tour guide service in Fort Worth, Texas.

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