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Emerald Griffon
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Joined 03-27-06, id: 1016127, Profile Updated: 10-11-08
Author has written 37 stories for Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Calvin & Hobbes, Neopets, Harry Potter, Disney, Naruto, Pokémon, Flatland, Warriors, Misc. Books, Young Wizards, and Lord of the Flies.

Hey, all my fans! I'm currently having a little-alright, a BIG-writer's block on most of my chaptered fics. Right now, I'll mostly be churning out little oneshots. Also, I'm working on a REAL novel, called Reclaimant: Dancing Shadows (working title). If anyone feels like beta-ing it for me, I'll be grateful! Just drop me a PM!

Also, got visit my little sister on Fanart Central! She's a great artist!

I also have an account on there (Akrita), but there's nothing up really.

Common Notations I Use:

GoGH: Guardians of Ga' Hoole

OiL: Owl in Love

C&H: Calvin and Hobbes

Fave Pairings:

GoGH: OtulissaxTwilight, DiggerxGylfie, CorynxKalo, some HoolexLutta

Harry Potter: HarryxGinny, RonxHermione

C&H: CalvinxSusie

Series of Unfortunate Events: QuigleyxViolet

Warriors: FirestarxSandstorm, GraystripexSilverstream, BrambleclawxSquirrelflight

And most OCxanyone romance. Cause OCs rock.

Under the Full Moon-chp 2

Anilegna: -kicks her owner's neck-

Owner: Ow!

Director: Take 300...

Without You

Coryn: -falls to his knees beside Nyra and leans over her- Mother...without you...

Nyra: HOHOHO! Watch your feathers! You're tickling me!

Director: Stunt double time...

Forgotten-chp 4

Calvin: -runs towards school, hitting his head on the door...which swings open-

Director: CUT! What? The lock-the-door commitee is late again?

Planned Fics

Sharptooth's Child: Sunpool, daughter of the noble Moonpool, and one of the youngest Healers in her Tribe's history, is in despair. Her father has died at the claws of fierce mountain cats. Now she has become the Healer. Unable to choose a sucessor, she embarks on a journey into the land beyond the mountains. What she discovers will change her life forever. Action/Adventure and possible Romance.

Fate: Sequel to Destiny. Will be a Young Wizards and Harry Potter crossover. Summary: Only a fool defies fate's call. When several wizards are thrown into the forest, they face four wild Clans of cats. Will they ever fit in? And why have they come? Action/Adventure/Drama/Romance/Humor (will decide specifics some other time)

Inevitable: Sequel to Fate. Working title. May be a crossover.

~Artemis Fowl~

Shuffle Shuffle: Artemis would never have come home if he knew what insanity lay ahead. Nose-breaking, white roses, hot tubs, Taylor Swift, and a promenade into the fourth dimension! What do you mean it makes no sense? Crossover with the movie Jumper in later chapters. No pairings, but hints of some. Cowritten with Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha XD. Humor, maybe Adventure.

~One Piece~

Scary Little Sister: Why you shouldn't mess with my little sister. Humor

Four Kids, a Raven, and Six Pirates: Four beginners in the field of magic and thier familiar, a raven, perform a spell that goes a little awry. Good thing they keep their heads when they meet up with pirates. Humor

Canceled Fics

Forgotten: It's being rewritten under same title.

Under the Full Moon: Blah, nothing to say. I'm not really interested in Neopets now.

The Journeys of Yerill and Perka: I'm planning a new Pokemon story!

These are the planned pairings for my Destiny fic, a Warriors/C&H/Baby Blues crossover.

Strawpaw (Calvin)xFlarepaw (Zoe)

Skypaw (Darryl)xShadowpaw (Wanda)

Stormtail (OC,)xStarsky (OC)

Windpaw (OC)xJunglebeat (OC)

Stripedfang (Hobbes)xWhitestar (OC)

PS: The warrior code was changed to legally allow the last couple to be legal mates. (Not sure if I should do this or not-illegal=fun!)

These are random quotes from my story, Shuffle Shuffle, that haven't officially appeared yet.

Dutch people: Stop bleeding on the tulips!
Holly: We don't care about your stupid tulips.
Dutch people: GASP! You insulted the tulips! You must die! get out a giant clog-shaped tank
Holly: I think I just insulted them.
Ryz: Shuffle for your liiiiiiiiiives!

Ryz: I need to go scrub out my eyes now. I think I'm scarred for life.

Clan Allegeinces in Destiny (Constantly Updated!)

LEADER: Whitestar-A white-furred she-cat with blue eyes (APPRENTICE, Strawpaw)

DEPUTY: Rosethorn-A white she-cat with red patches and unusually sharp claws (APPRENTICE, Flarepaw)

MEDICINE CAT: Foxfire-A bright red, yellow-eyed tom with a bushy tail and unusually pointed ears and muzzle

Starsky-A black she-cat flecked with white and with a white left hind foot (APPRENTICE, Shadowpaw)
Stormtail-A black-gray tom, unusually dark eyes
Junglebeat-A brown-gray she-cat with larger paws than usual (APPRENTICE, Windpaw)
Stripedfang-An orange tom with green eyes and long whiskers, looks a lot like a tiger
Owlwing-A soft brown tom with yellow eyes and darker brown patches that look like wings (APPRENTICE, Skypaw)

Shadowpaw-A dark black she-cat with river-blue eyes (exception, since she already had a kit upon arrival)

Windpaw-A gray-white tom with black stripes running along his sides
Skypaw-A mussy fire-colored tom with sky-blue eyes
Strawpaw-An amber-eyed tom with messy yellow fur
Flarepaw-A fire-colored she-cat with dark blue eyes

Wrenkit-A small black she-kit with cloudy blue eyes (MOTHER, Shadowpaw; FATHER, Skypaw)
Ravenkit-A black male kit with turquoise eyes (MOTHER, Shadowpaw; FATHER, Skypaw)

Mouseberry-A gray she-cat with yellow eyes, the oldest member of ThunderClan

LEADER: Waterstar-A blue-gray tom with a long tail

DEPUTY: Longleg-A gray tom with unusually long legs

MEDICINE CAT: Tawnytail-A yellow-brown she-cat with a ringed tail (APPRENTICE, Lionpaw)

Swiftstream-A silvery gray she-cat with unusual blue eyes
Runningriver-A dark silver tom
Silverfur-A soft silver she-cat with a crooked tail (APPRENTICE, Rabbitpaw)
Streampelt-A silver-blue tom with silvery paws
Jungletree-A dark brown tom with darker paws (APPRENTICE, Mousepaw)

Lionpaw-A light yellow tom with bushy fur
Rabbitpaw-A small, quick-footed white she-cat with a shorter tail than usual
Mousepaw-A small gray she-cat with short ears

Berryfur-A grayish she-cat with silvery splotches, retired early due to failing sight
Tornpelt-A scarred yellow tom with a ripped tail, one of the oldest Clan cats

LEADER: Falconstar-A yellow-eyed brown tom with unusually long claws

DEPUTY: Windtalon-A long-legged black tom (APPRENTICE, Runningpaw)

MEDICINE CAT: Berrytail-A reddish she-cat with one twisted paw

Hawkclaw-A brown-yellow tom with long claws
Leopardfang-A yellow spotted she-cat (APPRENTICE, Risingpaw)
Eaglestrike-A large brown tom with yellow eyes
Skywalker-A blue-gray tom

Birchtail-A brown she-cat

Runningpaw-A gray tom with a curly tail
Risingpaw-A yellow-gray she-cat with amber eyes

Shiningkit-A bright yellow she-kit with amber eyes (MOTHER, Birchtail; FATHER, Hawkclaw)
Glowkit-A yellow she-kit (MOTHER, Birchtail; FATHER, Hawkclaw)

Halfear-A tom with a dirty-white pelt and one ear completely torn off

LEADER: Clawingstar-A large black tom with unusually sharp and long claws

DEPUTY: Shadetail-A gray-black tom with a black tail

MEDICINE CAT: Gravelpelt-A mottled gray she-cat with one badly twisted leg (APPRENTICE, Cloudpaw)

Slashingtalon-A lean, striped brown tom (APPRENTICE, Beetlepaw)
Birdcloud-A white she-cat with yellow eyes
Swiftwind-A small gray tom with unusually long legs
Smalltail-A short-tailed gray tom
Thrushsong-A brown she-cat with yellow eyes (APPRENTICE, Robinpaw)

Jaycrest-A gray-white she-cat with an unusual crest of fur on her head
Chasingbreeze-A gray she-cat, the youngest nursery queen

Cloudpaw-A fluffy white she-cat
Beetlepaw-A sleek black tom with unusually dark eyes
Robinpaw-A brown she-cat with a touch of red on her chest

Breezekit-A gray male kit (MOTHER, Chasingbreeze;FATHER, Swiftwind)
Rushingkit-A gray she-kit with unusual blue eyes (MOTHER, Chasingbreeze;FATHER, Swiftwind)

Mudpatch-A brown tabby tom with one blind eye

STARCLAN (Only those who appear in story alive or dead, so this thing doesn't get flooded with dead cats)

Firestar-A handsome ginger tom, originally of ThunderClan

Sealwhisker-A gray she-cat with yellow eyes and unusually long whiskers, originally of ThunderClan

Without You

That Horrible Minty Taste

Fireflies of the Water

The Grape Wars

The Card

Desert Lovers

Forgotten (As it has been canceled, it counts as finished.)

Fanart collection: Currently working on: Kelpie.

Farewell, Teacher: Poem about Soren's reaction to Ezylryb's death.

YAOI/YURI: Seriously, would this ever come true? Plus, it's just sick. I'll admit that some good yaois/yuris have been written, but did it have to be yaoi/yuri? -sigh-

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: It's outlawed, but I'm just soooooooooo addicted to them! -hugs her (wanted) humongous collection of Choose Your Own Adventure books-

BLOOPERS: Make me laugh my head off! I know they're outlawed, but oh well!

HUMOUROUS DRABBLES: Short and funny! I laugh my head off!

CROSSOVERS: Crossovers are cooooooooool...

Just Random Insanity:

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

Just because we can eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, meat (well, not meat), etc... Copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienal, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, Daughter of a Renegade, Littlewhisker, Snowdancer56, MoonAquaAngel, Emerald Griffon

If you hate scrolling over the gazillions of 'copy and paste's in people's profiles but have no intention of stopping doing it yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol - put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you randomly quote stories in public and you are acutely aware of it but you do it anyway, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh...and PRINCE CASPIAN.), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still)), some crazy girl who likes pie (Um... My friend's in love with Firestar, does that count? lol, no, jk. (Even though she is)), Emerald Griffon (Christopher Robin from Winnie-the-Pooh (I was realllllllllllly little, okay?), Mortagan, my stuffed weasel (-snogs him-))

If you have ever read the dictionary because you were bored, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you are bored of reading 'copy and pastes' copy and paste this into your profile.

If you prefer your old mouse to this NEW STUPID LOGITECH UNCLICKING one, copy and paste this into your profile.

From , I have discovered that my warrior name is Swiftface (Originally Swiftnose) of ThunderClan. o.0

Thanks MoonAquaAngel for this!

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?

Mom, asked me what I was writing, asked me if she could read it, I said "Uh."

Where are you?

Somewhere in the universe, in the Milky Way, in our solar system, on Earth. That help?

Look up. Now look back. What did you see?

Lights and a slidy door thingy.

What's the last thing you ate?

What's your personality like?

I'm crazy and random. I like scaring boys.

Who do you have a crush on?

No one.

What was the last thing you thought?

Does Naruto count as my crush? DON'T LAUGH.

Say "George Bush". What's the first thing that comes to your mind?

A burning bush.

You now have a million dollars. What do you do?

Donate half, bank half, watch it run up a whole lot of interest, treat my entire class to a trip to America FIRST-CLASS.

What are you eating/drinking right now?

What are you writing RIGHT NOW?

1. Find a globe. I think we had one, can't find it, too lazy. Spin it. How do I spin something nonexistent? What does it say? Globes can't talk... and I DON'T HAVE ONE!

2. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say? Heart. Creepy.

3. What can you hear right now? My mom taking a shower, and the TV.

4. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself. Me: Joseph, can you stop staring at me? Joseph: No. BWAHAHAHA! Sucker. Me: I'm not a sucker. Joseph: Yes you are. Me: Whatever. End conversation

5. Turn on the T.V. What show is on? My dad is watching it. Sent my sister, it's some weird guy playing pool.

6. Type your name with your elbow. emkerald vgtr49ifrfrponj DON'T LAUGH.

7. What happened last time you were typing here on this computer? Ummm...my mom told me to get downstairs. Yeah, that's it.

8. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see? A silvery light thingy. Now my head hurts.

9. If you could be anybody from Warriors who would you be? Um...Midnight! Yeah! She's cool and prophecy-like.

10. Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell? Mmgrcoeunsihamjdkmim...look it says "ham!"

This is Bunny (nice name, huh?)

Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him gain world domination.

List of peeps helping Bunny gain world domination: Foxsword, Emerald Griffon

Add your name to the list! Of dooooooooooooooom!

Did you know that no fanfiction has ever made me cry? As my sister put it, "Every Tragedy invovles death, and it's always the same character. You become numb to it." If you make me cry with a fanfic, you are a wonderful writer.

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Twilight's Chants by Zealak Silverdirk reviews
Twilight's views and perspectives on matters of anything and everything. No chronological order. Chapter six!
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Poetry - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,396 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/17 - Published: 7/12/2006 - Twilight
Mugiwara Gorillaz': Ask the Straw Hat Pirates! by Mugiwara Gorillaz reviews
I AM FINALLY BACK! Dang... Chapter 63 is up AT LAST! NO ASKS YET THOUGH, OKAY? I have too many as is...
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 64 - Words: 116,406 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 7/3/2007
The Hogwarts Blog II by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
The Second War is over, Voldemort aka Phil is dead, and the wizarding world is in shambles. What are Harry and his friends to do? Blog about it, of course! Sequel to The Hogwarts Blog. Again, moderately AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 82 - Words: 61,832 - Reviews: 1486 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 308 - Updated: 8/30/2012 - Published: 8/18/2008
Watched by Sad Little Smile reviews
A lot of characters from my favorite books are watching me. And stalking me. Paranoia! It's not all Artemis Fowl though; there is the Bartimaeus Trilogy, Twilight, Underland Chronicles, and Guardians of Ga'Hoole too.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,986 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/13/2011 - Published: 5/26/2008
Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages by GMontag reviews
Artemis and Holly have accidentally created a time paradox, changing the events of the last eight years. Now the two are thrown into a bleak world where Haven has fallen, and inter-species war has begun. Who can they trust? What can they save? A/H
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 45 - Words: 171,623 - Reviews: 1235 - Favs: 692 - Follows: 404 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Guardians by Hoseki-sama reviews
As it turns out, the joining one's life with another's leaves a lasting impression, even after death. Vignettes about the everyday afterlife on board the Thousand Sunny. Rated for language.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,159 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 5/27/2010 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Zeff, Bellemere
Legendary Dreams by Eevetta reviews
The Rookie 9, Gai's team, their Senseis, Gaara's team, & Itachi, are taken to a world where creatures of the imagination reign. Team 7 seem familiar with the place. Does it have anything to do with their disappearance 5 years ago? Pokemon xover. ON LONG HIATUS!
Crossover - Pokémon & Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 31,143 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Kakashi H.
Queen of the Darkness by Ariana aka Nereid reviews
In a town that hates pokemon, an exceptional trainer emerges.................... Story of Karen
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 50 - Words: 78,990 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 1/10/2010 - Published: 4/21/2003 - Complete
Calvin, the Pirates, and the Homicidal Maniac by Mugiwara Gorillaz reviews
Note to Readers: I'm starting over in the Crossover section. Type "Calvin Pirates Homicidal" into the Search engine and click on Calvin, the Pirates, and the Homicidal Maniac: 1 to read this over again.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 18 - Words: 15,961 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/15/2009 - Published: 11/21/2007 - Complete
Unoriginality 1: An Original Trainer Story by Farla reviews
Meet Kazikami, the blue haired seventeen year old just starting her journey, and others! Totally and utterly original, really! No cliches here! Chapter 28: Regarding Ralts.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 29,794 - Reviews: 460 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 4/22/2005
Calvin and Hobbes: The Series SEASON THREE by Swing123 reviews
Co written with Garfieldodie. The third season of the Calvin and Hobbes TV show. Includes TV movies, holiday specials and and gripping season finale. Complete. PLEASE R&R!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 190,342 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/23/2008 - Published: 8/24/2007 - Complete
Artemis Fowl: The Double Deception by unfinishe reviews
Here it is, the long awaited sequel to the Wolfish Incident! What's this! Foaly and Vinyaya in Dargium? Cam paying a visit to the palace? And, did I hear you right? Holly and Artemis having KIDS? T for safety
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,958 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/9/2008 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Ritualized Parody by Luiniliel reviews
AU. Non-conformist to all cannon post-mid 5th year. One-shot. Complete. Now, what if it was HONESTLY, that easy?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Harry P., Peter P. - Complete
Artemis Fowl and the Ultimate Sacrifice by Academician reviews
Artemis has a plan, to give the fairies a world of their own. But to do it he’ll need their magic and their help to start world war three… No Spoilers for TTP. Home Sweet Home!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 26,806 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/25/2008 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Artemis F.
The Graveyard Retold by frangipani14 reviews
The title is self-explanatory. A retelling of when Harry is in the graveyard, fourth book... R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 694 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
One Piece the Abridged Series by FrescaPower reviews
All your favorite pirate adventures retold in an Abridged parody, now with 20% more dub bashing! Chapter 9 'Arlong Park the Musical' is up, in which Arlong sings about how much better fish men are, Nami sings of her tragic past, & much more!
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,633 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/19/2008 - Published: 10/23/2007
The Hogwarts Blog by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
Dumbledore has started a blog. Read thoughts from Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Snape and even Voldemort! Moderately AU. Coauthored with a friend of mine. Rated T to be safe. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 169 - Words: 119,319 - Reviews: 3765 - Favs: 880 - Follows: 319 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
And one day, Root exploded by starburst27 reviews
An accurate documentary on what events occured in chute E37 on the fateful day that Julius Root was 'sploded.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 855 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/25/2008 - Published: 9/28/2007 - Julius R., Holly S.
Pokemon Genesis by Jedd Shual-Iyiste reviews
Jedd, Garon, and Arak are the first to try out the new Pokemon Game. But the game quickly becomes a reality as the 3 are brought into the Pokemon Universe. At long last, the trio are about to set out and are introduced to the menaces of the Region.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 47,203 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/6/2008 - Published: 7/5/2006
Calendar by Link and Luigi reviews
For one whole year, the teachers shall force their students to celebrate every holiday of the year in the quest of life, liberty and the pursuit of youthfullness!
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 73 - Words: 165,336 - Reviews: 2346 - Favs: 625 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 12/30/2007 - Published: 8/31/2005 - Complete
Luffy's Animal House by Noah Gabriel reviews
One shopping trip turns the entire crew upside down! A penquin, a duck, an armadillo, a kitten, and a robin. Can Luffy and Chopper find out what happened? Before it's too late? LuNa forever! Enjoy and please review! Bring on whatever flames you got!
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,703 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/15/2007 - Published: 11/16/2007 - Luffy, Nami - Complete
Star of Tragedy by Jedd Shual-Iyiste reviews
She was an Absol that tried to help others, but with hatred against her species giving her nothing but pain for her actions, will she finally have enough and be the monster they believe her to be?
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 24,556 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12/8/2007 - Published: 11/6/2006
Naruto chat room! by ChineseKunoichi reviews
What if the naruto characters had AIM? These stuff are their conversations. I've added some other anime people in it too. There is no end to this, so I'm just gonna mark it inprogress.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,619 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/7/2007 - Published: 9/2/2006
Artemis Fowl: The Secret Life by unfinishe reviews
Artemis is murdered and now four people are working to uncover the secrets of his life. Full summary inside. Spoilers for TLC. ON HIATUS!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Crime/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 204 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/10/2007 - Artemis F.
Calvin and Hobbes: The Series SEASON TWO by Swing123 reviews
co written with garfieldodie. The Calvin and Hobbes TV show. Includes holiday specials, two parters, TV movies, a shocking season finale and a fun filled Bonus Chapter! SEASON TWO COMPLETE! PLEASE R&R!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 141,235 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/24/2007 - Published: 7/23/2006 - Complete
The Strangest Prey Ever Found In A Warriors Story by BuTTErPelt2730 reviews
Please review if you can! This story is really random, really strange, really crazy, and a lot of people seem to like it! However, if you do not like these qualities, then I don't think this is your story! Kay? Kay! Bye!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 30,509 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/23/2007 - Published: 9/18/2006
Which Way is Where? by Swing123 reviews
Co written with garfieldodie. When Calvin and Hobbes attempt to escape Dad's annual torture camping trip, they end up lost in the big city with no money or food. And as if that isn't bad enough, the lunatic human convict Rupert Chill is after them!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 31,820 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/24/2007 - Published: 7/18/2006 - Complete
Shinobi or Pirate or just plain Confused by Foxsword reviews
Naruto's team goes through a portal into the world of the Straw Hat crew. Mostly humor, adventure, and more humor. Storyline is still being thought up.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,944 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/21/2007
Sora's Story: Johto by Ruthie of the Wildcats reviews
[Hiatus][Johto Journey AU]Sora Elm has spent most of her life at home, being an aid to her uncle. Now, at age 12, she finally undertakes her Pokémon Journey alonside her Eevee Vivi, Cyndaquil Cinna, Pidgey Pidge, bent on finding her own place in the world
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,559 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/18/2007 - Published: 3/19/2007
WARRIORS: FourClan's Perils by Ruthie of the Wildcats reviews
[Sequel to Forest of Purity][Complete] A moon of bliss has passed for the newly formed FourClan...but danger lurks in the shadows and some warriors cannot be trusted. Can Tigerstar protect his Clan from the danger, a danger he once forced on others?
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 17 - Words: 69,102 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/25/2007 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Home Accompanied by Swing123 reviews
Parody of the movie, HOME ALONE. After Calvin's parents accidently leave Calvin at home when setting out for a campng trip, Calvin and Hobbes enjoy the freedom of being home alone. Until the burglers ruin their fun. Please R&R!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,043 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/18/2007 - Published: 1/4/2007
GarfBob SquareField by garfieldodie reviews
Garfield meets SpongeBob in this whimsical tale. Jon has purchased SpongeBob, and we all know what Garfield does when Jon brings a fish home. Uh oh. COMPLETE!
Garfield - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,561 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/16/2006 - Published: 5/7/2006 - Complete
Calvin & Hobbes: The Series SEASON ONE by Swing123 reviews
Co written with Garfieldodie. The Calvin and Hobbes television show. Twenty episodes to a season. Includes holiday specials, TV movies, and a dramatic season finale! PLEASE R&R! SEASON ONE COMPLETE!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 101,622 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 5/16/2006 - Published: 5/29/2005 - Complete
Voldemort's Death, my version by heheheL reviews
The title says it all. Expect the unexpected in this story. It was done in a moment of absolute craziness. What more do you want me to say? Please R&R?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/5/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Retro Chill by garfieldodie reviews
Co written by Swing123. As the final movie to both trilogies, Calvin & Hobbes are threatened when their archenemies, Retro and Rupert, team up and cause massive mayhem for them and their friends. COMPLETE!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 50,053 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/30/2006 - Published: 12/24/2005 - Complete
Someone just like me by bleedingcherry reviews
A new girl moves to Calvin's block. She's unlike any other girl he's ever met. She's cool and fun and just like him. Be prepared for some good old time Calvin and Hobbes fun with a pinch of cute fluffy goodness! WARNING:CalvinXOC HobbesXOC CHAP 3 UP!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,035 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/14/2006 - Published: 8/10/2005
Calvin and Hobbes go to Hogwarts by Swing123 reviews
Calvin and Hobbes are invited to Hogwarts. One can guess the destruction that's about to be caused. COMPLETE! PLEASE R&R!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 35,229 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/19/2006 - Published: 11/14/2004 - Complete
The Power of Love by Mollyscribbles reviews
The final confrontation between Harry Potter and Voldemort. Crossover. Spoilers for HBP. One shot.Warning: This is really really weird.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Care Bears - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 972 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/10/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Unzipped by garfieldodie reviews
After losing his History Report in it, Calvin and Hobbes crawl into the backpack in search of it, and find themselves in an interestingly built new world! COMPLETE!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,722 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/10/2006 - Published: 6/30/2005 - Complete
How to NOT Be Cool! by garfieldodie reviews
OneShot! In the classic tale from Book 2, Hobbes tries to be cool, but according to Calvin, he's just a big dork.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,513 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2006 - Complete
Trouble Island by garfieldodie reviews
In the final movie, Calvin and Hobbes are faced with an old foe and must find a way to get away from their campsite to survive. But Mom and Dad are apparently up to no good, as well as a whacko doctor... COMPLETE!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,835 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/14/2005 - Published: 7/4/2005 - Complete
Attack of the Teacher Creature by garfieldodie reviews
Sequel to CYIT? Calvin and Hobbes run away from home after the TV is locked up. They decide to live in the deserted part of town in an elementary school. However, great evil lives in that school... Complete!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,620 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 26 - Updated: 6/30/2005 - Published: 5/24/2005 - Complete
Checkmate by Angel46 reviews
When Artemis is forced into a life-or-death chess match, he discovers something that he never expected...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,109 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/16/2003
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Fowl Style by Nyghtvision reviews
Old fluff, somewhat embarassingly silly. Freaky random tripe, actually. In screenplay style, undergoing revision to suit ff.net's needs
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,556 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/9/2003
A Garfield Vaction by garfieldodie reviews
Based on the comic strips. Garfield, Odie and Jon take a vacation where wierd things start to happen.
Garfield - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,552 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Published: 1/7/2003 - Complete
You Can't Open the Mayonnaise!: A Square by Mobius Shadow reviews
The 2D A. Square attempts to open a 3D jar of mayonnaise. Of course he can't do it, but can the Sphere?
Flatland - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 621 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6/2003
Replacement by Erriel reviews
No one ever wants to lose a best friend. But then, what happens to the one who takes their place? POV of a young Clefairy seeking acceptance.
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,073 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 12/1/2002 - Published: 11/27/2002 - Complete
Pongland by Mobius Shadow reviews
A circle accidentally wanders into the dangerous Pongland, and recounts the story to Albert in jail.
Flatland - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,484 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/17/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sunrise reviews
Two girls are changed into Pokemon and enter a new world. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, of course! Lame summary...
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 803 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/14/2009
Forgotten reviews
Calvin and Susie left their pals behind when they came home from school. Now Hobbes and Mr. Bun must find their way home...all by themselves. But will their two friends remember them when they arrive? R&R please! Now with CalvinxSusie romance! REWRITTEN!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,339 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/20/2009 - Published: 3/31/2006
In Which the Boys Get Rescued By Pirates reviews
Rescued being a relative term. Crackfic. If you want to see Simon come back and be annoyed with all the others, please read and review.
Lord of the Flies - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 326 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/27/2008 - Complete
Impossible Love reviews
Kalo and Coryn reflect on their feelings for each other, and how they can never be. CorynxKalo, twoshot.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 846 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Complete
The Last Design reviews
Do you know how hard it is to interpret the messages? The thoughts of the web-reading rabbit as he dies.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 252 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/27/2008 - Complete
Destiny reviews
When destiny beckons, no one can resist its call. When seven new cats join ThunderClan, what will it mean for them? Baby Blues and C&H crossover
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,196 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/24/2008 - Published: 9/15/2006
Redemption reviews
The story of Lutta, and how she was pulled from hagsmire. Rated due to allusions to heaven and hell.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: T - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 2 - Words: 940 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/23/2008 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Complete
Memento Mori reviews
Becasue no one lives forever... Futurefic, nondescriptive death
Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,111 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/21/2008 - Complete
Diversion reviews
In the end, all he was was a diversion. Rated because little kids might not understand.
Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1/12/2008 - Complete
Pokemon Champion reviews
What does it really mean to become the Pokemon Champion?
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 329 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/17/2007 - Complete
Home reviews
The musings of a boxed Porygon. Read to find out about the quotes.
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/7/2007 - Complete
The Fifth reviews
An illegal fifth pet, and his new siblings, struggle to elude the Chia police and save their owner... Rating will most likely go up
Neopets - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,045 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/12/2007
Snagged reviews
Colosseum fic. A trainer mourns his lost Pokemon.
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 788 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Complete
Shiny Blessing reviews
A blessed shiny Bellsprout, stuck in the PC, muses on his life.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,177 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/4/2007 - Complete
Avians: Falcon's Wish reviews
The four Flocks of hawks have dwelled in harmony for many moonturns. But IceFlock is rising, and MoorFlock weakens. When a oncetame falcon stumbles across this turmoil, no one can anticipate the ultimatum...
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 771 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/5/2007
Incompatiable reviews
A parody of the LeafpoolxCrowfeather pairing, aka my attempt at a bashing. Don't read if you like! Starts a bit angsty.
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 561 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/30/2007 - Complete
Red reviews
Why am I the Disaster Pokemon? A seriously emo Absol drabble. Everyone's doing it. May not make sense a bit. Rated for emoness.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/10/2007 - Complete
The tale of some trainers who are NOT NOT NOT NOT involved in a prophecy. They're just going on their journey, each with their own goal. Follow them on their adventures! Rated for possible mild violence.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,348 - Published: 2/27/2007
C&H: The Movie: The Ring That Seals Two Worlds reviews
Calvin and Hobbes unwittingly unleash a group of vicious demons on the world! Oh no! Now it's up to them, along with Susie, Mr. Bun, and a wolf girl, to save the otherwise doomed universe! My first take on a C&H movie. R&R please!
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,810 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/19/2007 - Published: 5/4/2006
The Owl & Houle Show reviews
The wacky adventures of two wereowls and a human. OiL
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/5/2007
Mom, I Need a Rifle reviews
Continuation of the C&H comic where Calvin and Hobbes decide to survive in the wild. I'm terrible at summaries.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,126 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/31/2006 - Published: 4/22/2006
Blood of the Clan reviews
What if Graystripe, Firestar, and Princess were all really related? Inspired by this family tree I saw on Warriors Wish that gave Firestar and Princess an unknown sibling. What if that sibling was Graystripe? This is the story. Oneshot.
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/28/2006 - Complete
I Love You reviews
A companion to Destiny, my Warriors fic. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. First person POV's on the ones they love. Currently: Stormtail. Since each is seperate, I'm just going to mark it complete. WARNING: Spoilers.
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 322 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/3/2006 - Complete
Mysterious Island
Three shipwrecks. One island. And a whole lot of confusion. REALLY BIG crossover, see inside for more details.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 751 - Published: 11/9/2006
I'm an Owl! reviews
Team 7 meets the Guardians of Ga'Hoole, after being turned into owls! What will happen? Mild GylfiexDigger and TwilightxOtulissa.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,741 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/9/2006 - Published: 6/18/2006
The Journeys of Yerill and Perka reviews
They're just two ordinary trainers, journeying together, and happily strengthening their Pokemon companions...but what secret do they have? CANCELED
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,920 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8/28/2006 - Published: 7/28/2006
The Grape Wars reviews
Voldemort faces off against a grape of DOOOOOM. 200 word drabble.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/17/2006 - Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
The Card reviews
Little Albert makes his mommy a card with an image from a piece of paper he found. Guess what? He found Flatland! Guess who he used? Nah, not telling! Read and find out! Also, I don't like the title, will someone help me change it? Thank you!
Flatland - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/5/2006 - Complete
Pooh's Egg reviews
Pooh finds an odd rock. Little does he know the truth about it... Rated for possible mild violence.
Disney - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,486 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 8/1/2006 - Published: 6/3/2006
Desert Lovers reviews
I weep at your grave, for you died to protect me. Why you? DiggerxGylfie. Character death.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Complete
Fireflies of the Water reviews
Calvin remembers two deaths as he watches fish. CalvinxSusie aka Susan Yes, I renamed Susie Susan. It sounds more grownupish! Rated for suicide. This is what you get when you watch Forrest Gump and then go on a hiking trip where you see some pretty fish.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 505 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/25/2006 - Complete
Allergies reviews
Voldemort reveals his deepest, darkest secret. 100 word drabble with credits intended for HUMOR only.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/5/2006 - Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
That Horrible Minty Taste reviews
Yet another 100 word Voldemort drabble! Based on something that really happened to me.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/1/2006 - Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
Farewell, Teacher reviews
Soren reflects on the death of Ezylryb. His sadness slowly turns to hope. Several GoGH spoilers.
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/23/2006 - Complete
Under the Full Moon reviews
A small group of outcast pets starts a sinister plot in the shadows of Neopia. Can anyone stop them? Story much better than summary. Rated PG for death.
Neopets - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,483 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 4/21/2006 - Published: 4/4/2006
Mommy! reviews
Voldemort can't sleep. Why? 100 word drabble.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/20/2006 - Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
Without You reviews
Nyra has been slain. Coryn should be happy, but some sort of inner pain eats away at him. Why? She was never a true mother...yet he misses her. GoGH My first fic! Please R&R!
Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 424 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/30/2006 - Complete
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15 September 2009 | Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay

Adventure on the Move

A look at manoeuvres, ranges, and engagements in WFRP

- Jay Little

Over the course of their careers, the characters in Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay may find themselves in all sorts of exciting adventures. In addition to using their skills, talents, and actions to accomplish their goals, characters will also rely on several special mechanics to move around and interact with the story and their environment. This designer diary looks at a few of the game mechanics that help PCs move around and interact with the environment.

A Chaos Marauder on the MoveManoeuvresThere are a lot of things characters can do that are not governed by a specific skill, a clever stunt, or action card. Many of these undertakings do not even require a check. Collectively, the minor things that a character accomplishes on his turn are called manoeuvres.

Manoeuvres cover a broad range of minor, incidental, and often automatic achievements. During story mode (a more free-form, narrative mode of play, when timing and order of actions are less important), manoeuvres can usually be performed as often as required, and are generally assumed to occur as needed to advance the plot. During encounter mode (a “zoomed in” mode of play when timing and the order in which things occur can become more important), characters are limited in the number of manoeuvres they can perform within a given amount of time.

A character can perform one manoeuvre any time during his turn for free. Characters also have the option to perform additional manoeuvres on their turn. Each additional manoeuvre costs one fatigue. Fatigue is a measure of a character's current energy level and vigour. The character suffers one fatigue, then may perform one additional manoeuvre -- if he wants to perform two additional manoeuvres, he must suffer two fatigue, and so on. However, if a character accumulates too much fatigue, it can impact his physical characteristics, and if he exerts himself too greatly, he risks passing out!

There are a number of defined manoeuvres to choose from, but GMs should encourage their players’ creativity if they propose manoeuvres not listed in the main rulebook. Some special talents or abilities allow for manoeuvres to be used in even more ways. Here are just a few examples of what maneouvres can be used to accomplish:

  • Assist. Performing the assist manoeuvre allows an engaged ally to add a bonus fortune die to his next check. Several characters can use the assist manoeuvre to add more bonus fortune dice to the engaged ally’s next check. All awarded bonus dice must be used on the assisted character’s next turn, otherwise, they are discarded.
  • Interact with the Environment. Often a single manoeuvre is enough to interact with the environment around a character. This is a broad category of possible interactions, such as opening a door, climbing into a wagon, knocking over a table, ducking behind a counter, grabbing a torch from a nearby sconce, and so on.
  • Movement. Movement is accomplished by performing one of several different, but related types of manoeuvre, depending on the type of movement. The movement manoeuvres allow characters a lot of freedom and flexibility to move around the environment.

Sigmar's CometAbstract MeasurementsOne thing players will notice quickly about Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay is the lack of battlegrids or maps with squares. The game instead relies on broad terms used to describe ranges and distances. Rather than have a player’s attention focused on a grid or counting squares, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay uses more abstract means to represent position, distances, and ranges – letting the players focus on the action and the adventure.

The distance between two points – people, objects, or monsters – is defined by range categories. These range categories are used to determine how far a ranged attack can reach, how far apart two people are from each other, how much effort is needed to move between two places, and so on. The most common ranges are close, medium, long, and extreme range.

  • Close: Generally a matter of several paces between points. Many thrown weapons and firearms are most accurate at close range. Two people in close range can talk comfortably without raising their voice. If there are no obstacles or impairments, moving to another spot within close range is accomplished by performing a single movement manoeuvre.
  • Medium: Medium range is generally several dozen paces away. More reliable firearms can reach to medium range, as can crossbows. Two people in medium range of each other need to talk loudly to hear each other. Moving from close to medium range requires a bit more exertion.
  • Long: Long range is further than a few dozen paces. Longbows, Hochland long rifles and some spells can reach this far without too much trouble. Two people in long range of each other need to yell loudly to hear each other. Moving from medium to long range is more time consuming than moving between medium and close range.
  • Extreme: Extreme range is the farthest range at which two targets can interact. Two people at extreme range may not be able to hear each other even if they shout. Moving between long and extreme range can be time consuming and exerting. A few special ranged weapons can fire at targets at extreme range, but usually with a penalty.

An Initiate of ShallyaEngagedTo reflect two or more targets close enough to interact directly with each other, there is a special status called engaged. Two characters engaged with each other are in very close proximity. A soldier needs to be engaged with a target to hit him with his sword. A barber-surgeon needs to be engaged with his patient to tend to a wound. A group of people engaged with each other is called an engagement.

Being engaged is also used to indicate that a person is close enough to an item to use it. A thief needs to be engaged with a locked chest to attempt to pick the lock. A coachman needs to be engaged with the carriage to climb aboard. A hunter needs to be engaged with the tree if he wants to hide behind it for cover while firing his bow. The engaged status simply indicates that two things are close enough to each other to directly interact.

With the engaged status and the range bands, the GM is free to describe things dynamically and set scenes without having to worry about exact distances. The goblins can start out within medium range of the party – he doesn’t need to worry about positioning each goblin 20 squares from a character, or 12 inches from the cavern mouth. The details and adventure come first, creating a vivid picture for the players, while allowing the GM to quickly provide the mechanical information players need to start developing their strategies and planning their actions.

Download the Reference PDFResolving Movement & PositioningThe manoeuvre systm, range categories, and movement work together to help create dynamic scenes and allow the GM to resolve action quickly. By using the colour standups and plastic bases, the players can have a unique standup to represent their characters, and the GM can use the included standups for various NPCS, enemies, or monsters.

Positioning these on the table creates a quick visual reference on where things are in relation to each other. Standups or figures in base contact with each other are engaged. The further apart the standups are, the greater the range between them. The GM can even place tracking tokens -- a handy set of components used to track a variety of conditions and effects during gameplay -- between individual standups or engagements to indicate how far apart from each other those two elements are.

The location cards provided in the game add even more context to the environment in which an encounter takes place. The location card can be placed on the table to indicate roughly where that feature or element is positioned. Standups placed on or touching the card are engaged with that location or terrain feature, and may be affected by any special rules or effects that location has, and so on.

Be sure to download the WFRP Movement & Engagement PDF summary (600 k) for a closer look.

Set in the grim world of Games Workshop's Warhammer Fantasy universe, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay is a roleplaying game that sets unlikely heroes on the road to perilous adventure. Players will venture into the dark corners of the Empire, guided by luck and Fate, and challenge the threats that others cannot or will not face.

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Reviews for Blank Thoughts
you'll see chapter 3 . 6/21/2007
Exactly the imaginative imagery that leaves endless possibilities and the impression of magic.
herenowalways chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
I really like 'Blank Thoughts.' It's got great visual imagery, and the persona's voice is really quite engaging. A great effort!
The Masked Marauder chapter 2 . 1/24/2006
Hey! I really liked these poems, but I especially liked "Mermaids Singing"..I tried to review, but it didn't let me, it said I already reviewed that chapter (even though I didn't) I hope it's ok, but I used Mermaids Singing for a poetry analysis...I said it was by you though! If you have a problem with this, just review and I'll not use it...But I liked it so much.. :D And I gave all the credit to you...SO good job on writing these :D Keep up the GREAT work!-The Masked Marauder
Sarah Rizal chapter 1 . 1/13/2006
Hey, i love your the way you write this poem. It's oh so owesome! My favorite line was "I could write about the ocean blueAnd mermaids singing in a great lagoon"(:
The Masked Marauder chapter 3 . 1/7/2006
OI! This is AWESOME! I read all three of these poems, and they're all amazing. You should consider sending them into a contest or some sort of, maybe, if you write enough of them, a publisher as an anthology. Just an idea, because you're actually a really great poet. Keep up the AMAZING work :D
Pheobe Meryll chapter 3 . 12/30/2005
Oh *is breathless* so beautiful. I love mermaids, I love them, I love them. I have just begun a story about them that I might post sometime on fcpress and this is very much how I invision them. the childish innocence and supple beauty is so lovely isn't it? beautiful poem. I can tell you really like the subject you're writing on.
Pheobe Meryll chapter 2 . 12/30/2005
This one was a little weak. I dont' know what you mean by "the gaze out through" and "secrets to peep" sounded strange.
Pheobe Meryll chapter 1 . 12/30/2005
very pretty. I specially liked the last stanza. "A baby bird on it’s first flight" should be "ITS first flight" though.
Nicole Michele chapter 3 . 12/30/2005
I really liked these ones, I hope you will finish writing out that flowed of my tounge well because you rhymed with out making it chidish..ex. The cat had a hat and a batthat's that

lol, I think you should finish these there great and fun to read.
Theory Of The 4th Dimension chapter 1 . 9/29/2005
I loved this one. I enjoyed the imagination and the randomization of imagery in this. I like those kind of poems, that makes your thoughts go wild!)
SSSSS chapter 3 . 9/28/2005
Short and nice. Love the "Mermaids Singing." I plan on looking at the rest of your stuff; the stories look interesting. Are you Jewish? Or do you find WWII an interesting topic? Anyways, that's enough questions. Please take a look at my stuff, which is only two things... ,Sam
The Masked Marauder chapter 1 . 9/27/2005
Even though this is only the second thing I've read by you...I must say, you are a very accomplished author! This is AWESOME! yay! *claps* keep it up :D
Thoughtless-blazer chapter 1 . 9/26/2005
This one's pretty. What can one write on blank paper? Where do the possibilities end? Loved it.

P.S. Thanks for ALL the reviews, I will continue the story.. when I find my notebook to type it up agian. Heh.
Xaquelina chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
Very nice, cute in a way. So true too.
The Faerie chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
I wish I had found this poem months ago... it's the kind of thing that I would be able to put into a scrapbook I was making for school (provided you let me use it ;)) but I really like it. You seem to be a driven author.
29 | Page 1 2 Next »


text:
Reviews for Who Are You?
CookieNinja chapter 12 . 7/6/2009
WOW! that was fantastic.
ishani acuinatum.ashley chapter 12 . 3/4/2009
it ws really realy good...
ishani acuinatum.ashley chapter 10 . 3/4/2009
Cafune chapter 12 . 12/23/2008
*SiGH!* This was so good :D I love it! FAVORITE
thebloodfiend chapter 1 . 9/16/2008
This character sort of reminds me of Bella from Twilight. She's really naive. You should have built up the characters so we would have been able to understand their feelings better. Your plot line should have been a bit stronger and I felt that the love thing was sort of
XxTheSoNotMainStreamxX chapter 9 . 8/15/2008
she's so nieve
Dye-Ann Defame chapter 5 . 7/11/2007
hello Hana!

you told me about this story, so i wanted to read it!

When i read the first chapter i thought it was poem!

And i was like. 'wow! this is very good'.

and then i saw the other chapters.

and i grew happier to see that it continues.!

I'm halfway through this story. and i'm really glad you wrote this. It's really well written with a great plot.

It's nice to know you have another side to your writting. This side many ppl can relate too.

well, keep writing! you have a talent for it!

Dye-ann Defame.
Fleeting Moment chapter 12 . 7/8/2007
three.word.lies chapter 5 . 7/8/2007
youve got to pay your reviewers, if not already. they made this story sound amazing. i mean it's okay but miriam's stuttering is annoying and its more like fantasy cos it seems too good to be true, you know? there's no evident plot either..there's nothing to follow..\
YoUr DaRk hEaRt chapter 12 . 7/8/2007
man i am so freakin happy now! this is probably my number one favorite story in fictionpress!
YoUr DaRk hEaRt chapter 11 . 7/8/2007
*squeals* oh no. i woke my parents up from their sleep. whatever. this chapter is *squealslouder* so exciting! i can't wait for that kiss to come! oops go to go!
Fleeting Moment chapter 11 . 7/7/2007
E, I'M SQUEALING! UPDATE as soon as possible! THIS IS SO AWSOME!
Cicero Williams chapter 11 . 7/7/2007
and BAM! She wakes up!

And I swear, if you use that cop out of a deus ex machina, I will be royally pissed off!
Fleeting Moment chapter 10 . 7/7/2007
A, I wish she could figure it out! UPDATE!
YoUr DaRk hEaRt chapter 10 . 7/7/2007
yay! she is going for julius! not a bad choice! she did pick julius right? i'll find out soon. keep on uptdating!
31 | Page 1 .. Last Next »


text:
"Mark… Mark…wake…. Dammit… Mark…" a distant voice called out. Mark tried to say something to the voice but his tongue felt as though it filled his whole mouth.

"Mark… please…" the voice pleaded, sounding closer. Suddenly his eyes flickered open and he looked up into the face of a young woman. Her face was stained with tears and she looked worried. He tried to say something to the woman, but his throat felt like it was full of rocks and he could do nothing but moan quietly. The woman seemed to be dabbing at his head with a red rag, but he couldn't feel anything.

With a sudden rush of clarity Mark remembered the events of the night before. The walk through the park, the attack, the creature… It all seemed almost like a dream, but he knew that it was true. Why else would I be lying here, tended to by…

"Cleo? What… you doing… here?" he rasped.

"I have to get you back to the warehouse," she replied, avoiding the question, her normally brusque façade replaced by concern. He decided to not bother pursuing the question, figuring that the extra pain of talking wasn't worth the effort.

After a brief argument about whether or not he could walk on his own, Cleo won out and Mark was forced to endure an excruciating ride back to the warehouse in a make-shift stretcher made from an old blanket. By some stroke of luck they managed to keep from being seen by anyone in the early twilight before dawn. After nearly twenty minutes of being rocked around the flimsy stretcher, which Cleo somehow managed to pull rather easily, they arrived at the menacing façade of the dilapidated old warehouse just as the sun was beginning to peek above the horizon. With more than just a few looks of curiosity the mangled young man and determined young woman made their way to their room.

The old man was still conspicuously absent, but that fact barely registered in Mark's foggy mind. Cleo proceeded to go about cleaning Mark's wounds, with almost motherly tenderness, which contrasted strangely with the almost recklessness with which she had pulled him on the stretcher to the warehouse. After being bandaged with the rags that Cleo had found in the upper level of the warehouse, Mark slipped into an uneasy sleep, full of menacing shadows with vicious amber eyes and twisted, malevolent creatures. For the next week he was reduced to being hand fed by a woman who sometimes went from almost maternally caring to brutally nonchalant. She would sometimes stroke his brow, while whispering, in her gruff way, encouraging words, then at other times nearly make him gag by indifferently shoving pieces of food down his still-sore throat.

Once he had regained most of his strength, and the majority of his injuries had healed, he began to take short walks, with her, to the docks which were only a few blocks from their ramshackle home. Cleo said that the walks were to help strengthen him after the week he had spent lying down in the dark room, but Mark had a feeling that she had other reasons for taking him out.

Aside from the countless purple and yellow bruises covering his body, Mark's only injuries were two broken ribs, two sprained ankles and a few broken fingers. His astonishment at his own luck was overshadowed only by his dismay that she always managed to avoid the questions which had plagued him nearly every waking minute. How had Cleo found him? Why did she take care of him when she hardly knew him? And why hadn't the old man returned? The problem with asking her about all of this was that whenever he attempted to ask the mysterious young woman, she would simply begin talking about something else. It was as if she could read his mind, and sometimes he didn't doubt that fact. Although she couldn't have been more than three years older than his own twenty-two years, her piercing brown eyes possessed an inexpressible ancient look. They seemed to be partially clouded by undulating shadows, but when he gazed into them they had a sharp quality which made him want to look away but at the same time wish to stare forever, almost like a sort of morbid curiosity. His innate suspicion of women was slightly eschewed by her seemingly innocent appearance which contrasted with her gruff yet endearing demeanor, and he eventually found himself opening himself up to her somewhat, like a clamshell opening just a little bit in order to feed. He told her of his childhood and adolescence, always avoiding the subject of how he had come to live on the streets. To his relief, she would never pursue the subject, and just listened intently, commenting occasionally.

"So, how come you live on the street?" Mark asked during one of their afternoon walks to the nearby docks. It was particularly warm for autumn that day, and the sun's rays danced on the current on the sewage drenched bay's surface, throwing ripples of light across their faces as they strolled along the rocky shoreline.

"Heh," she snorted softly, "never knew my son-of-a-bitch father, but my mother was a whore. I was the result of one of her "services." We lived in a shitty lil' one-room apartment in the worst part of the city. She did most of her business there, bringing men, and even occasionally women home. They would usually kick me out while they did whatever the fuck they wanted and when I complained the fuckers would beat the shit out of me. One night when I was 'bout 14, the old bitch waddled in, drunk out of her mind with another one of her customers. She just passed out on the bed as soon as she got in the door. The old fucker got annoyed and decided that since he didn' feel like waitin' for my mom to come around, that he would have me instead. 'E grabbed me and… well, to make a long story short, he raped me. After he had fallen asleep I just got up and ran. Never went back," she ended her narrative. The indifference and directness with which she had told the story surprised him, catching him somewhat off-guard. "I'm sorry" was all he could think to say. Even though for the short time that he had known her she had always had that blunt way of speaking, he was still taken aback by her nonchalance.

"But don't you think that your mother was worried when she found you missing?" Mark finally managed to stutter, after regaining his composure."

"Hell no! She was probably happy I was gone! She was always compainin' that I was a pain in her ass. She barely gave me enough t' eat and she didn't even put me in school until I was 8, when the landlady took something of an interest in me and forced the old bat to send me."

Mark just sat on the creaky old dock that they had just arrived at, resting his body, which still ached when he overexerted himself and thinking about what Cleo had just told him. Cleo walked further down the dock, looking around for crabs on the poles, which she would catch with a net she had found once and always brought with her now. The devilish looking crustaceans, with their spiky shells and eyes that looked like horns were actually quite tasty and they both enjoyed eating them when they could catch them.

Figuring that she was fine, Mark let his mind wander, thinking about how long it would be before he could finally go back to the way he used to live. He hated having to depend on someone else, but he still couldn't even walk a quarter of a mile without his body aching as though he hadn't slept in three days, and he couldn't run at all. He definitely wouldn't be able to manage any thefts to support himself in his current condition. Still pondering his situation, Mark was brought out of his thoughts by a sudden scream and a loud splash. Thoughts racing, Mark ran in the direction from which splash had come, finding Cleo bobbing in the light surf, sputtering and floundering in the grayish green water. Without a second thought, Mark jumped in, ignoring the ache in his legs as pure adrenaline and instinct took over. He grabbed Cleo's thin, thrashing frame and pulled her back over near the dock. Her panic finally subsided once she was in Mark's adrenaline-boosted embrace, and he helped her hoist herself back onto the creaking pier. Once Cleo was finally safely on the dock, Mark's attempted to raise himself up as well, but couldn't. The adrenaline had worn off and he was beginning to feel exhausted, treading water in the sun-drenched bay. His last vestiges of strength gone, Mark began to sink, no longer bothering to tread water in his mind-numbing weariness. I'm gonna die, he thought in his oxygen-deprived stupor. Giving in to his inhuman weariness, he let himself sink. I guess dieing isn't so bad, its kinda comfy actually. He felt an unearthly force pulling him upward. I'm dead already? Oh well, I guess I'm goin' to heaven, never thought I would be goin' there… There was sudden a weight pulling him down, trying to plunge him into the dark depths of the underworld. Dammit, I'm goin' to the other place! The force gave one last titanic tug upward, making him surge to the surface, and he landed on something hard. I thought clouds were supposed to be soft? Coughing and sputtering brine-saturated water everywhere, Mark opened his eyes and looked into the concerned face of Cleo.

"You're in heaven, too, Cleo?" he gurgled dreamily.

"No! You dumbass! I just saved your damn life!"

"I'm alive? Oh, crap, I am alive!" he gasped. "Wait, what the hell happened? I remember jumping in the water to save you and then…"

"You passed out and started to drown, and I pulled you out before you were down too far. And you're damn lucky too! I was barely able to pull your fat ass out!"

"Oh. But how could you have had the strength to pull…" he trailed off, sitting up, just then realizing that his legs were still hanging over the ledge and that there was some foreign weight on one of them. Sitting up and leaning over, he looked down and what had been weighing him down. Hanging off of his right leg was a gruesome corpse. It was barely recognizable as human, its entire lower half being completely gone. The seaweed encrusted remains had a strange familiarity to them, as though he had seen something similar before. Mark stared in horror at the carcass which had been attached to him by a splintered bone latching onto his pant leg. Mark kicked wildly, throwing it off of his foot, and crawled backwards with a gasp, trying to put as much distance between himself and the mangled cadaver as possible. He glanced up at Cleo's face which had turned ghostly white with shock. Her normally unshakeable visage was one of total horror and the ancient-looking shadows in her eyes swirled wildly.

"Let's… go…" she stammered in total horror, which seemed to hold a hint of anger, but Mark dismissed the thought. Once they were back on the land, mark realized that his leg had been slashed rather badly by the broken bone. "Well we can't have you bleeding everywhere on the way back."

She yanked off the sea-soaked remains of her yellow hoody and tied it around the large gash in Mark's ankle. Getting up she rubbed her arm unconsciously and froze, eyes open wide. Cleo caught herself almost immediately and straightened her face while turning so that her left arm was facing away from him, but Mark had already seen. There was a terrible cut just below her shoulder. It looked to be about a week or two old, but it was still bruised around the edges and it looked like it would be a while before it was fully healed.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Mark gasped.

"Huh? This? Oh I, uh, fell and landed on some glass last week," she said hurriedly. "Lets go, we should be gettin' back to the warehouse so we can clean you up properly.

Mark acquiesced, figuring that he would have a better chance of extracting the truth from her after they had eaten. Walking side-by-side, silently, the pair made their way back to the warehouse, each glancing at each other constantly, Mark with suspicion, and Cleo with what appeared to be… fear.


text:
Mocad, Detroit

Copyright 2007, Sweet Juniper Media, Inc.

No unauthorized reuse

  • anmatcoburn 8y

    As an ex-Clevelander, I love your Detroit photos so much.

    More specifically: I want to have this as my desktop background so bad.
  • Nicky Thomas-Davies 8y

    very nice. snow would be so nice. In London it just rains and rains and rains!
  • bennowich 8y

    seriously - i've come back to look at this 15 times already. this makes me feel so warm inside.
  • helena a. 8y

    Thanks for making the original size available :)
  • Sarah Brown 8y

    Yeah, thanks! It's my desktop image now.
  • Amy Giles 8y

    Thanks! It's my desktop image now, too.
  • emilym 8y

    Yes, me too! It's so nice, I will make it my desktop twice! (work and home)
  • two cups of tea PRO 8y

    And mine.
  • Katherine C. PRO 8y

    Love it.
  • alissa 8y

    Seriously, wow!
  • lessthanb 8y

    this is now my desktop for 3L finals.
  • punkly 8y

    It's my desktop, too! Thanks!
  • savoryexposure 8y

    whoa, how did I miss this one?? love it!!
  • haselwand 8y

    Not to be a groupie, but it is also my desktop! I love it!
  • Xiobhan PRO 8y

    You know, I tried it as a desktop, and I have too many icons. I got dizzy and was clicking on snowflakes. (Sorry.) ;-)
  • Nicholas Suhor 8y

    Really, really incredible. Also:

  • Elisa 7y

    I am sad that 1. the original size of this is no longer available to use as a desktop image and 2. that all your prints of this are sold out on etsy

  • sarah ross 7y

    I didn't see this on etsy - will you make more?
  • kadding 6y

    Wow. Last time I saw this sign it said "Nothing is going to be alright" No joke. December of 08.
  • J D 6y

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Westville Cottage/West End Luxury Living-Pets oK

From $165 / night

Description from the owner

Bedrooms: 1

Bathrooms: 1

Sleeps: 2

Type: Apt. / Condo

Westville Cottage/West End Luxury Living-Pets oK

This West End Cottage Style home is Provincetown's premier luxury boutique living space….unpalleled to any other in the area. Our very private setting and premium amenities distinguish this vacation property from all the others.

The Westville Cottage is a luxurious yet charming and comfortable abode just for two. This Provincetown vacation rental was recently meticulously designed and remodeled with all modern luxuries while not compromising its historic integrity. This Provincetown vacation cottage is also known as one of the finest in Pet Friendly accommodations in Provincetown. Visit our Pet pages on our website and see why.

This adorable ...Read more

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  • Response rate: 100%
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Westville Cottage/West End Luxury Living-Pets oK Provincetown, Massachusetts
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From $275 / night

Description from the manager

Bedrooms: 2

Bathrooms: 2

Sleeps: 6

Type: Apt. / Condo

This beautiful two bedroom, two-bath ocean front condo has breathtaking views of the ocean and many high-end features. It has a king sleigh bed in the master bedroom and a queen bed in the 2nd bedroom which will sleep four adults comfortably and two children with the addition of two twin sized rollaway beds in the living room. Other features include a jetted jacuzzi tub, a plasma screen TV with surround sound, a large selection of DVD’s, a washer and dryer, solid oak cabinets in the kitchen and topped off with beautiful Corian counter tops. Dogs are allowed in this condo. You must be 21 or older to Rent this condo.

Additional amenities include: ...Read more

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Sand & Sea

  • Response rate: 50%
  • Response time: A few hours
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302-3 Seaside, Oregon

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Man or woman?

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (7406)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by whymegirl - United States (Massachusetts)

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Are you telling me you had a PUPPY outside not on a lead?

Or are you telling me you have lost a puppy inside your own home?

Either way, you are fucktarded. The poor puppy :(

#7 - On 07/22/2012 at 6:42am by DelphiCat

See in context

Replace the pup before they return from the trip.

#2 - On 07/22/2012 at 6:33am by Betz

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Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

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Book Reviews

Metal Cowboy

Tales from the Road Less Pedaled

Reviewed by

Joe Kurmaskie is the kind of guy someone would want as an airplane seatmate or at his or her table at a wedding reception. Since that’s unlikely, it is fortunate that he has written an incredibly entertaining, vivid account of the people met and experiences collected during his trips bicycling around the world, mostly in the U.S.

Kurmaskie espouses the philosophy that it is the journey, not the destination, that counts. Accordingly, Metal Cowboy is not a chronology of his travels. In one chapter, he is in easternmost Maine, trying to reach the spot where the rising sun first strikes the U.S. In the next, he’s in Arizona. He attends a prom in Pennsylvania and mingles with an Elvis impersonator contingent in Utah. He rides with a double lower leg amputee in Georgia and a former Tour de France contender in New Zealand.

Often introspective and insightful, the Metal Cowboy—the title is also Kurmaskie’s nickname—avoids delving too deeply into the meaning and lessons of his experiences, and refrains from forcing them on the reader. A good example is the Pennsylvania prom story. As he and his date—whom he met earlier that day at a gas station air pump—do the hokey-pokey, he reflects on the lyrics: You put your whole self in /You put your whole self out/And you shake it all about. “Maybe that is what it’s all about,” he reflects.

Kurmaskie mixes up food for thought with wonderfully wry writing and vivid imagery. Recounting a stint as a bike messenger, he recalls speed as the only hiring criteria. “This particular business model runs into conflicts with the most basic of traffic laws, good sense and self preservation,” he observes. On cycling in the Pacific Northwest, he says: “When you cycle for days under the big trees of the Pacific Northwest, it begins to feel like everything around you is breathing. Moist, green and fertile, the texture of the land…seeps into your pores.”
Best of all, Metal Cowboy doesn’t flaunt his lifestyle or dismiss members of the majority nine-to-five society as uncourageous dullards. He regards his travels as a privilege.

In an early chapter, he recalls a conversation with the double lower leg amputee, whose disability was at that time unknown: “He let me rant about the injustices of the world while I enjoyed the freedom of being a healthy, young white man on a bicycle in the richest country on earth, during the most prosperous time in history. The irony of the situation escaped me.”

Readers should not let Kurmaskie’s book escape them. It is alternately amusing and touching and always well written. It is particularly appropriate as a gift to someone who will soon graduate or anyone who is considering a change in lifestyle.

Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The author provided free copies of his/her book to have his/her book reviewed by a professional reviewer. No fee was paid by the author for this review. Foreword Reviews only recommends books that we love and make no guarantee that the author will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

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Book Reviews

Saving Daylight

In the author’s long and distinguished career, he has published more than two dozen books of poetry, fiction, and nonfiction. His best-known work may be the Western novella Legends of the Fall, which was made into a popular if rather conventional film, but the poems in this collection are far from formulaic.

Like his friend Ted Kooser (Copper Canyon also published Braided Creek, their “conversation in poetry”), Harrison begins his poems in everyday moments and events, and they are thick with birds, dogs, food, and drink. But at the heart of his work is an extravagance that resists easy explanation. It is not surrealist, exactly, but something closer to a kind of gruff and deeply grounded mysticism. “Reading Calasso” opens with a brilliantly unassuming surprise: “I’m the pet dog of a family of gods / who never gave me any training.” “Birds Again” is equally surprising: “The very alive souls of thirty-five hundred dead birds / are harbored in my body.” Even a relatively simple poem called “Diabetes” begins with the pin-prick of a test for blood sugar, but manages effortlessly to incorporate vampirism, John Kennedy’s assassination, and sheep killed by wolves near Harrison’s Montana cabin—all in thirty or so lines.

The range of Harrison’s poems reflects the wideness of his thinking and his life—he divides his time between Montana and a ranch near Mexico. Often the poems, especially the longer ones, incorporate reflection and aphorism as well as close observation and narrative: “The women we’ve mistreated / never forgive us nor should they,” (“Angry Women”); “We’re surely creatures with unknown gods” (“Waves”).

The collection includes Harrison’s translation of a poem “probably by Pablo Neruda” and, more unusual, four of his poems are presented both in English and in Spanish translations by William Barillas and Maria Ghiggia. Perhaps the motive is in the opening lines of “Spanish”: “For years I’ve believed the world should speak Spanish. … God e-mailed me that sex would be better in Spanish …” Remarkable among these poems is “The Old Days,” which plays in marvelous ways with nostalgic conventions: “Money didn’t grow in the leaves of trees but around / the trunks in calf’s leather money belts, / though you could only take twenty bucks a day.”

Some prolific writers eventually settle into predictability or self-parody, or exhaust themselves trying desperately to re-invent themselves with each new book. Somehow Harrison has managed to avoid all of these perils. The only thing predictable about this book is that each poem offers some unexpected reward.

Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The author provided free copies of his/her book to have his/her book reviewed by a professional reviewer. No fee was paid by the author for this review. Foreword Reviews only recommends books that we love and make no guarantee that the author will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

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Book Reviews

Tall, Slim & Erect

Portraits of the Presidents

Reviewed by

From the 1950s up through the 1968 election, American toy maker Louis Marx produced a semi-educational series of presidential figurines. From Washington to Nixon, the presidents, each standing on a small base, were reduced to two and three-quarters inches. Despite their identical settings, various arm positions capture each one’s unique personality. Originally cherished for the amazing likenesses of the presidents portrayed, Marx’s figures have a found new purpose in Alex Forman’s Tall, Slim & Erect: Portraits of the Presidents.

One of five books in the sixth annual TrenchArt: Recon Series, Tall, Slim & Erect combines photography and prose to approach this year’s thematic query: What does one make in, and of, the brokenness? At four and a quarter inches wide and nine and three-quarters inches long, Forman’s book makes a lot from, and with, these old toys discovered at a flea market. Firstly, it borrows the descriptive phrase used regularly to describe the presidents, “tall, slim, and erect of carriage,” as its definition and title.

Inside, the book’s distinctive format and Forman’s black-and-white photographs showcase the iconic nature of her subjects. With her assistance, the plastic presidents deliberately fill their two-dimensional spaces in much the same way they lived: the camera captures Honest Abe’s back as if following the agitated pacings of a troubled man; with his large chest and bull-neck thrust forward, Grover Cleveland’s taurine stance dominates the picture in a perfect explanation of his nickname, “His Obstinacy”; and Calvin Coolidge stares back at the viewer, willing to be photographed but always keeping the distance his agoraphobia demanded.

While the homogenity of the presidential office is underscored by the uniform dimensions of the figurines, Forman highlights each president’s individual nature by photographing them in isolation. She builds upon this sense of agency by pairing the pictures with a selection of well-curated biographical facts and rumors about each man. Although extremely brief—the longest is just shy of five hundred words—they touch on the joys, tragedies, ironies, and accomplishments of each president’s life. From the get-rich-quick books that filled Washington’s library, to Nixon’s favorite breakfast of cottage cheese, ketchup, and black pepper, the details recast these political deities as human.

With its phallic title and use of miniaturized men, it’s easy for the viewer’s inner college sophomore to dismiss Forman as attempting to castrate, or at least shrink, the American patriarchal establishment. But on closer inspection, a much more sophisticated intention becomes unavoidable. By examining these men in miniature, by photographing them as individuals who stand alone, and by moving beyond the canon of acceptable historical trivia, Forman reveals the smallest details of humanity in the nation’s highest office.

Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The author provided free copies of his/her book to have his/her book reviewed by a professional reviewer. No fee was paid by the author for this review. Foreword Reviews only recommends books that we love and make no guarantee that the author will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

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Adult Entertainment SEO and SEM freelancers - Team 2

This project received 28 bids from talented freelancers with an average bid price of $83 USD.

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[url removed, login to view] seeks to sub-contact SEO and SEM work to a self-motivated freelancer who has a proven CV of adult site internet marketing success. Please include adult sites that you have managed as far as SEO work with your website evaluation of six different adult sites that we will provide to you.

Applicants must also offer great low rates.

We are seeking Freelancers who can flexibility help us evaluate websites and then to potentially support on-site and off-site SEO (SEM - search engine marketing).

Help drive our PARTNER websites to rank on the first page of Google search results.

Before hiring your services do to SEO work on our site, we will require a site evaluation of sites from on-site SEO to off-site SEO problems/challenges and what services you could provide to rectify the problems that you have documented. The freelancer who provides the best SEO evaluation of any problems on our sites and what your company would do to revamp site, will have the greatest likelihood of being awarded our project. This evaluation would give us insight on the relative insight of freelancers to execute the job,

We are seeking freelancers who provide transparent SEO services as to a "Plan of Action" on our partner sites.

If you are awarded the project after your evaluation, our budget for onsite SEO will be no more than $[url removed, login to view] per site (per month for maintenance); and our budget for off-site services will be no more than $[url removed, login to view] per month. We also plan to provide bonuses for outstanding work.

Please bid no more than $[url removed, login to view] to start work on this project. We can then discuss your on-site and offsite maintenance costs afterwe have considered your report.

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php mssql script to show data from DB

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we need PHP script that basically grab info from tracking URL/username table of kids of parent
and create a nice display of all 3 kids and the sites they have visited with pagination

all 3 kids in 1 layout in columns

or a selection of each kid first based on selection if user and display of all URls kid visited every day with time
and also site that were blocked i want to put the font in red and teh word: Site Blocked
next to the record.

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and parent can search by custom date, Current Day, Current Month, Current year

and see all data

do not worry about design so much
but clean and simple

the PHP is connect to our MSSQL server not mySQL

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FTC Testifies About Efforts to Combat Fraudulent and Deceptive Advertising

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The Federal Trade Commission testified today before the U.S. Senate on its efforts to combat deceptive advertising in the face of rapid changes in health care, technology, and online marketing strategies.

In testimony before the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation’s
Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety, and Insurance, David Vladeck, Director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection, described the Commission’s recent law enforcement and regulatory efforts addressing deceptive advertising.

“The task of monitoring and pursuing false and deceptive advertising claims has grown larger and more complex over the past few decades,” Vladeck testified. “Significantly, however, the Commission’s resources to tackle deceptive advertising, as well as the other important consumer issues addressed by the agency’s Bureau of Consumer Protection, have not increased enough.”

Vladeck discussed health and safety claims, the use of endorsements and testimonials,
environmental marketing or “green” claims, and advertising that preys on victims of the economic downturn as among the many important advertising issues faced by the FTC. In the
past year alone, the FTC has challenged advertising claims for weight loss, cold prevention, improved concentration, and diabetes and cancer “cures.” In a major law enforcement sweep conducted with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the Competition Bureau of Canada, the FTC announced 11 actions against companies and individuals for making false and unsubstantiated claims that a wide range of products could cure or treat cancer.

The testimony also discussed Commission’s efforts to update its Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising. Based on the prevalent – and sometimes deceptive – use of third-party endorsements in advertising, the FTC adopted the Guides in 1980. Although the basic principles of the Guides still hold true, dramatic changes have occurred during the last three decades in how products are marketed – most notably, program-length infomercials, Internet advertising, word-of-mouth or viral marketing, and consumer blogs have all become commonplace. Vladeck testified that it also has become clear that “results not typical” and other disclaimers of typicality commonly used in endorsements and testimonials are not working as intended to prevent consumer deception.

Vladeck told the subcommittee that the proliferation of advertisers proclaiming the “green” attributes of their products has led the FTC to review its Green Guides, the centerpiece of the agency’s environmental marketing program. The Commission’s latest enforcement actions charged three companies with disseminating false and unsubstantiated claims that their
products – disposable plates, wipes, and towels – were “biodegradable.” Two of the cases have settled, and the third is in litigation, Vladeck said.

In response to the rise in financial distress scams, on July 1, 2009, the Commission announced “Operation Short Change,” a joint initiative with 14 states, the Department of Justice, and other agencies that included more than 120 law enforcement actions. As part of this operation, the FTC brought eight new cases against companies that have conned consumers, and took action in seven additional cases earlier this year challenging similar misconduct. The new cases include one against the marketers of “John Beck’s Free & Clear Real Estate System,” a widely publicized get-rich-quick scheme, Vladeck testified. The Commission alleged that these schemes, promoted through misleading infomercials and on the Internet, have duped hundreds of thousands of consumers out of about $300 million.

The Commission vote authorizing the testimony was 4-0.

The Federal Trade Commission works for consumers to prevent fraudulent, deceptive, and unfair business practices and to provide information to help spot, stop, and avoid them. To file a complaint in English or Spanish, visit the FTC’s online Complaint Assistant or call 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357). The FTC enters complaints into Consumer Sentinel, a secure, online database available to more than 1,500 civil and criminal law enforcement agencies in the U.S. and abroad. The FTC’s Web site provides free information on a variety of consumer topics.

(Advertising Testimony.wpd)
(FTC File No. P064502)

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NEW YORK (GenomeWeb News) – Danish bioinformatics firm CLC Bio said today that it will receive $1.3 million for its participation in a $7.8 million European Commission-funded project that seeks to develop a user-friendly analysis platform for omics data.

CLC Bio said it will support the multinational STATegra project, an effort to create new statistical methods for analyzing a wide range of omics datasets, by making these new methods available through its software packages and by enhancing them with its visualization toolkit.

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Plans, Initiatives & Programs

Students enjoy a sunny day on the quad.

In the spring of 2010, the university’s board of trustees approved the Blueprint for Diversity, which provides a road map to becoming a more diverse community. This plan utilizes Daryl Smith’s (2009) dimensions of diversity framework, specifically to address issues of access and success, campus climate, educational and scholarly mission, and institutional vitality and viability.