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Rise of the Úlluminati

I originally wrote this piece way back in April 2015, just after returning from speaking at Úll. It ended up not being published, but I figured since I’m preparing for my trip to Úll 2016, I would put it up here instead. And hey, first post on my blog in six years!

I wrote an article in 2014 for The Loop magazine about my experiences at the Úll conference in Ireland, and the mental state of the indie developer in general – or at least mine. You can read it here.

I’ll wait.

You didn’t read it, did you? Ok, fine, I won’t take that too personally. Well, it was about how at Úll (and at NSConf, and at WWDC), I was suffering badly from imposter syndrome – the feeling that I didn’t belong amongst the other attendees, that I was just not good enough to be there. As I wisely said then:

“I’m a successful developer, I make a living doing this, I’ve worked for Apple, and I’ve been around in the Apple world for a very long time. I have the respect of a lot of people in the industry, and call many of them friends. If I can still feel like a complete outsider when I’m walking around a conference of my peers, then I bet a lot of the other people there do as well.”

I had been considering writing a follow up already, as my experiences this year were quite different, and I wanted to document my progress. But what really got me is that one of the other attendees said in a quiet moment, that he’d read the first article last year and it had struck home with him, and I think it had helped. I’d had literally no unsolicited feedback about the original, so I didn’t think anybody actually cared or had even read it. Hearing that it had made even a small difference to just one person, I felt honour bound to write some more.

What a difference a year makes.

I’ve recently been trying to work on a bunch on social phobias I have, primarily a strong fear of public speaking, or really doing anything in public that draws attention to me. Three years ago, I’d agreed to speak at NSScotland, and I backed out with only a month to go, because I just couldn’t face it. But I finally agreed again the next year, and while I was still terrified at the prospect of standing up in front of a hundred people, I managed it. I spoke again at NSConf the next year to nearly three hundred, and the fear was a little bit less. I did another NSScotland after that, and was beginning to believe in myself. I’d also been on a number of podcasts, again trying to face up to the same kind of anxieties.

So, when the fine folks at Úll asked me if I’d like to talk this year, I didn’t hesitate. I was still very nervous on the day, and simultaneously under-prepared (not enough rehearsal by far) and over-prepared (slide deck polished obsessively over a period of about a month). If I’m honest, it kind of helped that both John Gruber and Jim Dalrymple had cancelled speaking at the eleventh hour, because I knew I wasn’t competing with them in terms of my talk, and they wouldn’t be sitting in the front row watching as I gave mine either.

Still, there were many other people that I really respect both speaking and sitting in the audience. However, despite this being the highest profile speaking gig I’ve had, I didn’t get paralysed by the sheer panic that had gripped me before. I didn’t want to let down the Úll organisers who had given me the stage, but I genuinely thought for once “I’ve got this”. I did a full rehearsal on stage in the morning to an audience of one – thanks Baz – and it went ok, and I was kind of, almost, looking forward to giving the talk.

There was a certain degree of uncertainty as to which day I was going to have to give it, but thanks to a cancelled flight out of Philadelphia – which I had nothing to do with – some of the speakers were delayed and I was back on for a slot on the first day.

It then turned out that not only was the talk being recorded for posterity, it was being live-streamed via Periscope, something I found out right before I was due to go on stage. I started to think that maybe I shouldn’t have included a few of those Apple anecdotes…

People said to me afterwards “you seem so confident speaking, I don’t know why you were so nervous”. Let me tell you, the key word in that sentence is “seem”. It’s really just a performance. For want of a better explanation, I play a character on stage that’s almost me, but is much more self assured and better at public speaking. Boy, can that person give a talk. So, I play that role. I don’t know if that’s normal, or if I have inadvertently revealed myself as a high-functioning sociopath, but that approach works for me, and not just when giving a talk. When in doubt, pretend to be the person you want to be, and the rest of you will catch up eventually.

One thing that I hadn’t quite realised is how powerful the feeling of euphoria is after getting off stage. The relief of having actually done it, combined with the (modest) adulation of the crowd makes for a pretty good high. I had a small insight into why performers actually like to perform in front of crowds, even if they are similarly introverted and anxious people at heart. Throw on the mask of a stage persona, go for it, and boom – lovely, lovely, dopamine!

But the point is, if you looked at me on stage and thought to yourself “I could never do that”, let me tell you that I thought exactly the same thing three years ago. The key is to gradually push yourself outside your comfort zone, and eventually you might find you can do more than you ever believed.

I thought that was me done for the conference, and that I could now relax, but no. I faced a far, far, greater challenge to my nerves the next day, but I’ll come back to that in a minute.

To get back to imposter syndrome, this year was different. Some of it might be down to gaining some confidence in my presenting skills, and having had a very good year in terms of PCalc sales and overall visibility. But I think being a speaker changed the dynamic completely, so it’s hard to compare like for like.

I did my talk early on the first day, so for the rest of the conference pretty much everybody in the building knew who I was. People came up to me and praised my talk. I seemed to have been accepted into the inner circle of speakers, and I made sure I sat with the popular kids at lunch and dinner. I was famous. I’d made it.

Yes, my problem had switched from imposter syndrome to the other extreme – being-an-asshole syndrome. Lots of people wanted to talk to me, and sometimes I kind of just wanted to hang out with my cool new friends and talk to them instead. And the worst part was they were people who I could tell shared the same social phobias as me, who were trying hard to mix, and I wasn’t always the best at inviting them into the group. I was doing exactly what I thought had been done to me in previous years.

I had a shared moment of clarity late one night with a fellow speaker that we were actually terrible terrible people and I tried to curb my isolationist behaviour after that and mix a bit more. But it was something of an insight into how quickly I could go to the dark side, with just the merest brush with celebrity.

But I was brought back down to Earth with a bump the next day. I’d been asked by Serenity Caldwell if I’d do a cameo in The Incomparable radio drama they were putting on in front of an audience as one of the special features at the conference. Just a couple of lines, she said. No problem, I said, I can do that – not entirely believing the words coming out of my mouth.

Now, at some point between me agreeing, and the actual rehearsal, I had possibly misheard a critical piece of information, and I was no longer just doing a cameo, I was actually now a supporting character with multiple pages of dialogue. And this would involve actually acting. And doing an accent. My rehearsal performance was not the best. Russell Crowe does better accents.

Now, the last time I can remember acting would be something like thirty years ago, and the last time I put on an accent was approximately never.

The irony of getting an actual Scottish person – who doesn’t have a strong Scottish accent at all – to play “Angus McInnes”, a rough adventurer with a thick Scottish accent amused me almost as much as it terrified me. At this point, I was so far outside of my comfort zone, I would need to go through customs and immigration to get back in.

Oh, and it’s all being recorded and the video is going up on YouTube and Vimeo later. Ok, universe, I get it – this is because of the whole believing-my-own- celebrity thing I did, right? Fine, let’s do this, I deserve it.

Something about the culture of Úll got me through it anyway. People there want you to succeed when you’re up on stage, nobody wants you to fail. Folk laughed at my line delivery, and I think with me. In my head it was basically a Scottish person trying to do an impression of a Canadian person doing an impression of a Scottish person. James Doohan would be spinning in his grave if his ashes weren’t already spinning around the planet. I did apologise at the end to any actual Scottish people who might have been listening. Please let me back in the country.

Thankfully, as I type this, the video has yet to appear, and I can always hope for some technical difficulties that will permanently prevent it from ever doing so. But despite my nerves, I did enjoy it, something I would never have thought possible. Angus McInnes will return.

Coming back from Úll was an interesting experience. It took me a day or two to decompress, and I needed extreme peace and quiet for a while. Having effectively spent five days in a sealed environment with a few hundred people, the oddest experience was walking outside and not recognising anybody and not being recognised either.

But I’m famous! No, no I’m really not. Oh.

Paul Campbell, one of the organisers of Úll, has talked about the mood crash they all experience afterwards, when it’s all over and there’s just the quiet left. I think I only got a small fraction of that as a speaker, but it still hit pretty hard.

The insecurity all returned pretty quickly. I watched a recording of my talk, and I could see every time I stumbled over a line. I thought that I’ve definitely run out of anecdotes now, and I could never do another talk – all I do is repeat myself. I was only at Apple for under four years, I’m making a big deal of it all, nobody wants to hear this stuff. And I saw a few negative comments online, by people who hadn’t even seen my talk, saying I was taking credit for stuff I didn’t do.

But, it represented some small progress. I expanded my personal comfort zone empire to encompass a few new territories. For a brief moment, I became one with my confident alter-ego, even if that guy can be a bit of a jerk at times.

And you too can be a bit of a jerk too, if you really try. No, wait, wrong message.

The point is, we’re all faking it to a certain extent. All you see is the surface, only what we allow others to see. Underneath, everybody is the same mess of emotions and insecurities that you are, and all just as complicated and conflicted as you are. Lots of people that you think of as extremely confident, who do things you think you could never do, share the same feelings you do. But we never talk about it, and you can’t see it. It’s certainly not just you.

But, to borrow a phrase from a more important cause, it gets better. Just by pushing yourself a little bit to do things you’re uncomfortable with, you’ll eventually get used to them. It might take years of practice, but you can do it. I never thought I could speak in public, and I’m now getting to the point where I might actually admit I’m not too bad at it. Maybe. On a good day.

And perhaps one day, you’ll be a world-famous-in-Killarney speaker at a conference yourself, and some nervous person will come up to speak to you. Try and remember then what it was like to be on the other side of that conversation.

As for me, I’m going to keep improving, slowly but steadily. Next time you hear me on some podcast, see me up on a stage, or hear me murder a Scottish accent, just remember that underneath it all, beneath whatever confidence you might see or hear, I’m still just as nervous as you are.

State (of Mind) Machine

Reprinted from issue 28 of The Loop magazine from March 2014, with thanks to Jim Dalrymple

It seems ironic, that despite our invention of near-instantaneous global communication, we are still not the best species on the planet at actually telling each other how we’re feeling. Probably not even in the top five. Instead, many of us actively hide it from those around us. We say what we think we should be feeling, because everybody else around us seems to be perfectly normal, and we don’t want to be seen as the crazy one.

I’ve just come back from two very interesting – and quite different – tech conferences over the last month and a half. NSConference in Leicester, UK, and Úll in Kilkenny, Ireland. I spoke at the first one, and barely slept at the second. I enjoyed them both immensely.

And yet…

Surrounded by some of the best and brightest people in the developer community, I had the nagging feeling that I shouldn’t really be there with them. I’ve had the same feeling at WWDC for years now. As I stood backstage at NSConference, about to give my talk to three hundred people, telling them the story of my professional life, I thought to myself, “I’m just not that important, will people even be interested?”. Right at the moment I walk onstage, it will turn out there had been some horrible misunderstanding about my presence there, and Tim Cook will appear from the wings and tear up my developer agreement in front of everyone.

Later in the conference, I was talking to one of the other speakers, and it turned out that they felt exactly the same way – if perhaps not that specific detail about Tim. That made me wonder how many of them had similar thoughts. Maybe all of them did at some point in their careers. Maybe a significant number of people at both conferences looked around at the other delegates, and thought “I shouldn’t really be here”.

This feeling is common enough to have a name, “Impostor Syndrome”. A highly scientific glance at Wikipedia suggests that “two out of five successful people consider themselves frauds”, but I suspect that number could be even higher in the developer community. We never talk about it, so we think it’s just us. And what if you haven’t had any real success yet? It seems like everybody else has. “Why are you even here?”, their faces seem to be saying.

Logically, I knew, after the twentieth person came up to congratulate me on my talk, that they couldn’t all be in the pay of some shadowy organisation that had the mandate to tell poor speakers that they were better than they actually were, for nefarious reasons unknown. Logically, I knew, my talk probably was pretty good. But even now, I just edited that last sentence from “very good” to “good” to “pretty good”. And then added the “probably” for good measure.

Part of this is an inability to take compliments well. They make me feel vaguely uneasy at best. After a lot of them, I start to not really hear them anymore, and just focus on the negative ones. It’s the same problem of ninety-nine five-star reviews, and the lone one-star review that gets under your skin. Or worse, people not saying anything at all. Of course I have searches set up for the mere mention of my name and my products, and I wonder occasionally if I should create an account on Secret to see what people really think about me. There’s probably nothing there, is the likely answer. Basically, both the presence and absence of comments about me makes me nervous. Even genuine success makes me somewhat anxious, because then you’re more visible and you have further to fall. But I still check the chart position and sales of my apps every morning, even though it often pains me to do so.

These kinds of anxieties are probably some of the things that make me a great developer, because I always want my apps to be better than they are now. And they also prevent me from typing the words “makes me a great developer” into this window without it sounding very wrong and self aggrandising indeed.

A dislike of such self-promotion also makes it quite difficult to write marketing copy. I find it much harder than writing the software in the first place, because you have to basically say “hey, this is really really awesome, you should totally buy this!” instead of “well, I think this is okay, but I could still really improve some parts of it…”, which sends something of a wrong message.

All this got me thinking about the state of mind of the software developer in general. Particularly those of us that work for a small company, maybe as the sole developer or designer. Our work is a direct extension of ourselves.

We want things to be perfect, we’re control freaks, we’re obsessive. We spend a day designing and redesigning a single comma, because it’s just not right yet. And when it’s absolutely perfect, we’ll still keep going a bit longer, because we know there’s a magical place beyond perfection we can get to if we try hard enough. Spoiler alert, there isn’t. And we hate finding out after we’ve shipped it that we’ve missed some blindingly obvious bug because we’ve spent a day looking at a single bloody comma…

If you create anything at all – be it stories, music, drawings, apps, people, or even whole conferences – it’s a part of you. If somebody criticises your work, it can hurt like they are criticising you personally. That’s completely normal. Indeed, I suspect people who don’t have any kind of emotional response to such things just don’t care about their creations, or are, in fact, complete sociopaths.

It seems clear that my own creative abilities are directly linked to my mood, and my mood is directly linked to the success or otherwise of my creative abilities. Now, imagine that instead of it just being an annoying one- star review, or a bitchy email from an entitled teenager, you’re getting sent piles of documents from lawyers, your whole company seems to be in danger, and it sounds like you could lose it all. That happened to me, starting almost exactly three years ago.

A so-called “non-practising entity” threatened, and eventually sued over an alleged patent infringement in PCalc. I’m not going to go into any of the details here, but you’ve probably heard of them. I didn’t write any code for about six months, and considered getting out of the whole business altogether. I know I wasn’t alone – at WWDC that year spirits were pretty low amongst some of the other affected developers. Beer was drunk. Suddenly, our nice world of writing the best apps we could, and hoping that people liked and bought them, had become much more complicated, and real, and unpleasant. In the end, after three years of stress and time that could have been spent writing code, that particular problem was resolved. Not to my satisfaction by any means, but it has gone away now. It was a long and dark road back, and I still blame those events for a lot of things, both personally and professionally.

As I write this, things are looking up. PCalc 4 just came out for the Mac and has been warmly received. I expected something of a backlash, because it was a paid upgrade, but so far there hasn’t been a single complaint. In the process of creating it over the last four months, I’ve learned a lot about writing modern Mac apps, and I can’t wait to add new features to both the Mac and iOS versions as they keep popping into my head. I realised recently that I’m actually enjoying writing code again, and it’s been a while since I could say that. Apple has been featuring PCalc on the front page of the Mac App Store for over three weeks now, and it has forty seven five-star reviews. And one four-star review, but we won’t dwell on that too much.

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, if you feel like any of this, you are not alone. In fact, you are probably in the majority. I’d wager that some of the best people in this business have similar thoughts. The links between creativity and certain personality types are well proven – to a certain extent, it’s why we’re so good at this.

I’m a successful developer, I make a living doing this, I’ve worked for Apple, and I’ve been around in the Apple world for a very long time. I have the respect of a lot of people in the industry, and call many of them friends. If I can still feel like a complete outsider when I’m walking around a conference of my peers, then I bet a lot of the other people there do as well.

Once you realise that many of the successful, confident people around you are just faking it, it makes things a little easier.

We’re all the crazy ones, here’s to us.

Universal cheapness

Today, I would like to complain about the following two groups of people who are cheap:

  • Developers
  • Users

Ok, not all of them, some of you are quite lovely. But I’ve been noticing a couple of trends of late that I think deserve comment, and a couple of people today really pushed me to the point of anger. If I blame everybody equally, it cancels out, right?

Firstly, universal iPhone / iPad apps, or the lack of same – particularly in the field of games.

When the iPad came out, there was a slew of seperate HD versions of apps with appropriately HD pricing. “No”, said the developers, “we’re not just price gouging because there is a shiny new device out there which we think we can make a vast profit from. Look, we need to create these lovely high resolution assets. That costs real money!”.

And that was, on the whole, entirely true.

Then the iPhone 4 came out, and a lot of iPhone games have been updated recently for free with Retina display support with lovely high resolution assets. Some strangely familiar high resolution assets in some cases.

So, you might now be paying twice for exactly the same game, with exactly the same assets. These games are crying out to be universal apps. By all means charge more money for a universal app, that’s not the problem – I like paying money for good software – but don’t charge me a second time for the same thing.

Now this doesn’t apply to all games, and certainly doesn’t apply to all apps. A complex, well thought out UI on the iPhone doesn’t always scale to the iPad, and vice versa, even if they now have a similar number of pixels. But some games are pretty much identical on both. And those, my friend, should be universal apps.

I think what bothers me most is games that start out on the iPad, and then migrate to the iPhone. They’ve already done the hard work making it look amazing on the iPad, and I gladly paid the HD price for it. But now there’s an iPhone 4 optimised version coming and you want me to pay a second time? That makes me unhappy.

A recent example that did this right was Geometry Wars – they started out as an iPad app and added a universal app in a recent update. This made me feel even happier about my original iPad purchase. Pleased to the point that I’m telling you about the game now. Go buy it, it’s great fun.

Osmos is another really great game I bought for my iPad, and it sounds as if they are about to bring out a separate iPhone version, rather than a universal one. That makes me feel worse about my original purchase. They are both great games from great developers, but making your customers feel happy is an important thing.

Angry Birds is a more complex example – they’ve been great at doing lots of free updates to their iPhone version, and have earned a hell of a lot of customer loyalty from it (and a shedload of money as a result). But they also have a separate “pay again” HD iPad version, which I’m told frequently lags in updates behind the iPhone one. Boo, and boo.

Every time I buy a new game on the app store that isn’t universal, I sigh a little bit more, knowing it’s constrained to one device for reasons which are not always purely technical. I’m informed by the always wise Neil Inglis that universal apps bought in iTunes only count in the iPhone sales charts, and that could account for one reason why developers like having two separate apps. But that seems like it could be easily fixed by Apple. But then, Apple gets 30% of all the extra sales of the other versions… CUE CONSPIRACY THEORY!

Anyway, yes, developers are just after your money. But you know who else is cheap? Users.

This week, I saw a comment about my PCalc which basically said “How come the Mac version is twice the price of the iPhone version? I think all Mac software is overpriced.”

No, no, NO.

PCalc is $19 on the Mac, $9.99 on iOS. Leaving aside the fact that buying the iOS version of PCalc gets you a code which gives you a generous $9 discount on the Mac one, a more correct conclusion that they could have come to is “Perhaps all iPhone software is underpriced, and it might not be a sustainable market in the long term”. Or perhaps “I wonder why people will pay more for something, the bigger a screen it comes on?”.

I expect Apple will bring out an App Store for Mac OS sooner rather than later. I wonder what will happen to pricing then, if it will stay the same, or be more in line with the iOS apps. And I also wonder whether Apple will be able to ask for 30% of all sales. It would be a major shake up for the Mac software market, and I’m willing to bet 59p that it will happen.

Finally, I got an email today from somebody who had been running the Mac version of PCalc for many years, and had been faithfully clicking the “Not Yet” button every time he launched it. He decided he wanted to pay up, but when he finally saw the price, he decided against it, because he only ever really used the widget. For all of the many years he had been running the software without paying for it.

Oh, and the best bit? He was an indie developer as well…

I think I might be too generous with the trial periods in DragThing and PCalc. When the two week trial is over, they both keep working on the whole, requesting politely that you pay, but not being too obnoxious about it. They were both created in a different age, where that approach was normal and expected. Should I change them to stop working completely as soon as the trial period expires? The user in me says no, the developer says yes.

What do you think?

Four Legs Good, Two Legs Better!

“So”, I hear you thinking, “I remember James being very anti-software bundle earlier this year. He had that spat with John Casasanta and everything. Imagine my surprise when I saw this offer in my inbox this morning – both DragThing and PCalc are part of the new MacUpdate Promo Winter Bundle. Is he a just a big capitalist sellout after all?”

Ok, let me qualify that slightly.

Way back in June, we took part in the inaugural TheMacBundles.com bundle. The idea was a great one – this was a bundle by developers, for developers, with an equal split of the profits for all who took part. In practice however, it was something of a disappointment. Sales of the bundle were small, not down to the quality of the applications or people involved, but partially because it was going up against the much stronger MacUpdate bundle at the time, and partially because – in my opinion – it didn’t compare particularly favourably to the slick marketing efforts of MacHeist and MacUpdate.

It was mocked at the time by the ever-tactful John Casasanta of MacHeist, who basically said that without a substantial marketing budget, it was doomed. Annoyingly, he was actually right.

A couple of months ago, the MacUpdate people contacted me and asked if I wanted to be part of their winter bundle. What they offered per-bundle-sold wasn’t completely terrible – I’ve been offered a lot worse. Sales of DragThing have slowed a little bit of late since I’ve only done fairly minor updates recently, and I figured it couldn’t hurt to get it back into the public eye. And likewise, PCalc on the Mac has always been a good promotional tool for selling copies of PCalc on the iPhone.

So, fine, let’s give it a try. It’s a good bundle of apps – I fancy getting a few of them myself. I’ve been looking forward to the point-and-click adventure game Machinarium for ages, and I didn’t realise it was already out. Plus I’ve heard good things about Socialite and GarageSale, and many of the others. Path Finder is another veteran app in the bundle, and I know lots of people use that in combination with DragThing.

Will we make more money over the next two weeks than we would have otherwise? Am I damaging future sales of our apps? That remains to be seen. You can see the total number of sales of the bundle on the MUPromo page. I’m legally not allowed to tell you exactly how much of the $49.99 we’re getting, but think of a very small number. Now half it. You’re pretty much there. Feel free to multiply that by the current sales figure.

The bottom line is that our decades-old kitchen is due to be replaced in January, and it would be nice if this deal helped pay for it… Does that make me a capitalist?

Or a culinarist?

Taking A Stand

You might have seen that we have a number of new PCalc releases out today, two for the iPhone, and one more for Mac OS X. On the face of it, these might look like minor upgrades to fix a couple of annoying bugs and nothing more. Let me state here, for the record, that nothing could be closer to the truth.

Given our recent controversial moves regarding calculator word censorship, the more conspiratorially-minded amongst you might think we are using these updates as a mere smokescreen to slip in even more draconian measures. And on the face of it you would be right – PCalc now filters over three times as much profane content as before, with significantly increased detection algorithms. Don’t think you can just throw in a decimal point in the middle of a word now, we’re wise to such tricks. We’ve even added multiple-language support.

But, before you condemn me, I need to get something off my chest.

Personally, I don’t like adding these features any more than you like having your calculating freedoms curtailed, so I’ve decided to take a stand against this censorship and my cruel paymasters at TLA Systems.

In the latest version 1.8.1 for the iPhone and iPod touch, I’ve hidden a secret easter egg that lets you disable this disgraceful “feature” once and for all.

  1. Go into the “Advanced” section of the settings (or just the normal settings section in the Lite version).
  2. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page.
  3. Turn your phone upside-down.
  4. Still keeping it upside-down, you’ll now be able to scroll slightly further to reveal a brand new option.
  5. Switch censorship to “Off”.

I’ve also managed to sabotage the censorship completely in version 3.5.1 for Mac OS X – even if you turn your laptop or display completely upside down, the profanity filter will still fail to engage.

Needless to say, if word of this got out I could get in serious trouble, so this is just between us, ok?

PCalc Prevents iPhone Profanity

UPDATE: Yes, this was intended as satire.

Here at TLA Systems, we take our responsibility to protect innocent minds very seriously.

Have you, or somebody close to you, ever turned your calculator upside down and accidentally seen a mildly suggestive word? Have you ever been in a maths class, and had to put up with groups of giggling boys performing elaborate calculations that are not part of the lesson?

Yes, it’s one of the main problems affecting the calculator industry today, the so-called “calculator words”. These otherwise harmless devices can be made to display smut at the press of a few buttons. Added to that, the iPhone App Store is very strict about having inappropriate content in apps. Nobody wants their app to get a 17+ rating, or worse, to be rejected entirely.

Which is why we are happy to announce that the latest version of our PCalc scientific calculator for the iPhone contains a new patent-worthy profanity filter.

Simply enter a number such as “5318008”, turn the calculator upside down, and the offending word will be discreetly censored. Many common calculator words have been included as standard, and we plan to increase this over time via software updates.

This pioneering technology is available in both the full PCalc, as well as in the totally free PCalc Lite. Ideal for classroom settings, and for the very easily offended.

Some people might say that this is just a humourous attempt to drum up some publicity, and we should really be concentrating on the things that make PCalc one of the most popular calculators on the App Store. Like, for example, the intuitive user interface that takes full advantage of the iPhone, the optional RPN mode, or the wealth of powerful features.

Or, these same people might want us to point out that this new version comes with a coupon code that’s worth $9 off the price of PCalc for Mac OS X, effectively making PCalc for the iPhone a mere 99c if you were thinking of buying both.

But we think we know our audience.

You can find out more details at www.pcalc.com and download either of the iPhone applications here.

Twitkitteh, the safe Twitter client

We at TLA Systems are pleased to announce that with Apple’s new App Store policy changes now in effect, Twitkitteh will very soon be the only iPhone Twitter client available to the under-17 market.

Originally aimed at the the mainly feline demographic, our patent-pending “write-only” approach to Twitter – combined with a limited set of fixed tweets – is now well positioned to take advantage of these new rules and expand out into the wider marketplace of puppies and teenagers.

By protecting our users from the horrors of the frequent and intense sexual content and drug use found in those depraved applications like Twitterific and Tweetie (it says so in iTunes, so it must be true), this means we are really now the only family-friendly choice left in the whole store.†

Admittedly, Apple’s own iPhone applications like Safari don’t currently come with any similarly-worded warning notices, but we can only assume that it’s just a matter of time before this insignificant oversight is rectified.

Be assured, we take this new-found responsibility very seriously. And so do all our cats.

† We are also considering expanding Twitkitteh to function as a password management application for cats, because of the disgusting content we heard is present in every copy of Selznick Scientific Software’s PasswordWallet.

How To Make Your iPhone App Launch Faster

So, one of the most common complaints about PCalc before 1.7 is that it took too long to launch – around four seconds on an iPhone 1st Generation. I actually got emails accusing me of having a massive ego because I was making the splash screen stay up for so long. Now, I may have a massive ego anyway, but that’s not why it was happening.

Continue reading “How To Make Your iPhone App Launch Faster”


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UT Students Embark on New Concentration; Leads to New Construction Careers

KNOXVILLE — Students at the University of Tennessee who are interested in construction have a new opportunity to learn about a different side of the industry: the management side.

Starting this fall, students can pursue a concentration in construction technology in the Institute of Agriculture’s Department of Biosystems Engineering and Soil Science. Before, those interested in construction were confined to the engineering aspect of the business.

“Not all students with an interest in construction want to be engineers,” said Eric Drumm, department head. “But before we started this program in construction science, the only option at UT was a construction concentration within the civil engineering degree. I’m excited for the opportunity to grow this program at UT. My hope is that this will serve the regional construction industry, and we will be producing graduates when the construction segment of the economy turns around.”

The program will evolve over time to include aspects of both vertical construction, such as buildings, and horizontal construction, such as roads, bridges and earthwork. Five students enrolled in this year’s class, but Drumm predicts a swell in growth due to the current level of interest and plans for an articulation agreement with Pellissippi State Community College.

“Construction science programs at other universities have enjoyed strong enrollment and job placement,” Drumm said. “And the local construction industry is very supportive.”

The concentration is designed to prepare students for entry into the very broad and diverse range of careers related to construction, such as project manager, estimator, supervisor or quality control.

For students like junior Justin Kramer, who planned on transferring to another university for a comparable program, the timing of the launch was perfect.

“UT Knoxville needs this degree because this is the type of hands-on career that students have been looking for, for a long time. I have always wanted a job in the construction field on the management side of the spectrum,” Kramer said.

The construction science field cuts across a wide swath of disciplines. Therefore, the program includes coursework from the colleges of Arts and Sciences, Engineering, and Business Administration.

“Our program will provide exposure to concepts ranging from surveying and computer-aided drawing to geology and soil and water conservation,” Drumm said. “The business-related coursework leads to a minor in business administration.”

In addition to educating inside the classroom, the program aims to educate its students in the real world by connecting them with regional industry leaders. Already, students are attending local chapter meetings of the Associated General Contractors of America, Associated Builders and Contractors and the Construction Specifications Institute.

“The contractors in the Knoxville area are very excited about this program starting up and are showing us a lot of support,” Kramer said. “With this degree, I hope to get enough experience to go straight into the management side when I graduate. Through the classes we take and the internships that are offered to us, that should be a very realistic goal.”

Kramer said he enjoys construction because he enjoys seeing something built from the ground up. Perhaps for this same reason, he relishes being part of this startup program.

For more information on the program, visit http://bioengr.ag.utk.edu/students/tech_options.asp.

C O N T A C T :

Whitney Holmes (865-974-5460, wholmes7@utk.edu)

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UTPD Honors Officers and Staff Members

Emily Simerly

The University of Tennessee Police Department held a special award ceremony last week honoring some of its best officers. For the first time in UTPD’s history, officers nominated by fellow staff members received honors such as supervisor of the year, officer of the year, non-commissioned staff member of the year and the community service award. The awards were presented by Chief Gloria Graham.

Ron Humble

“It was an honor to recognize these individuals,” Graham said. “Their commitment to service and safety to the UT community is exemplary.”

UTPD’s supervisor of the year is Lt. Emily Simerly, the newly appointed public information officer for UTPD. Simerly, a 1994 UT alum and 16-year member of UTPD, has served as a patrol officer, detective and lieutenant of the Community Relations Unit.

Dennis Danichuck

During her time at UTPD, Simerly also has served as the victim witness coordinator, the Tennessee and Region 6 director of Rape Aggression Defense Systems (a self-defense program for women), a member of the Board of Directors for Safe Haven (formerly Knoxville Sexual Assault Crisis Center), and on various other committees.

The officer of the year is Cpl. Ron Humble, a second shift patrol corporal and a member of UTPD since 2005. He is also a member of the training committee, a bike patrol officer and a field training officer.

Leshuan Oliver

The non-commissioned staff member of the year is Dennis Danichuck, a UTPD community service officer since 1990. Danichuck is also the supervisor over the community service officer ticket division.

The community service award went to Cpl. Leshuan Oliver, a member of UTPD since 2005. Oliver, a 2005 UT alum, is the department’s liaison for the Office of Minority Student Affairs and International Student Affairs. He also is the coordinator for the alcohol diversion and drug education programs.


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Monday, April 27, 2009

Technical Difficulties

I have been experiencing technical difficulties with my computer lately... it hasn't wanted to upload my pictures lately which explains why I haven't posted, no pictures no fun.  BUT I finally got it working so I'll post about April activities soon.  For now I wanted to post about the books I've read recently:
Elsewhere by Gabreille Zevin gave me a creative look into an alternative afterlife when a fifteen year old girl dies and awakes on a cruiseliner headed to Elsewhere.  In Elsewhere everyone grows younger until they are infants and then sent down the river back to earth where they will be born again.  Liz is not happy about what has happened to her and is faced with the challenge of accepting it and learning to live as she ages younger... which means not ever getting a driver's license, getting married, having children, growing old with the love of her life, etc.  I thought it was incredibly creative and a very unique story!
I have loved the first two Fablehaven stories, and the third one was just as enjoyable.  Book three: Grip of the Shadow Plague by: Brandon Mull was one of his most creative stories.  I loved watching the young characters, Seth and Kendra, grow into their personalities and roles.  The story had several twists, some I thought where lame and others I really enjoyed!  Overall this Shadow Plague is very dangerous and those that live at Fablehaven must be very courageous if they are to defeat those that created it!


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Today at Berkeley Lab

A Race to Develop Pollution Sensing Tech Plays Out in Oakland

Google Street View cars with pollution sensors are mapping pollution in Oakland, block by block, joining another assortment of low-cost sensors monitoring a wider array of gases and particles from the roofs of schools, museums, and hospitals in the Bay Area. The latter effort, led by ETA’s Ronald Cohen, is called BEACO2N (BErkeley Atmospheric CO2 Observation Network). More>

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Today's Environment Show 741

Equipment that provides extra safety when dealing with hazardous materials and environmental contaminates, Aircraft engines created to run clean and quiet, Scientists discover that white rot fungi can break down complex organic substances including toxic organic compounds, A company that specializes in showing other companies how going beyond governmental regulations can reduce costs and help the planet, Oxygenates used in reformulated gas lets the fuel burn more cleanly and completely.

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A Passion for Education

A commitment to providing the best quality care and education for every child. Today's Life Schools & Childcare has developed curriculum that is based upon solid child development principles.

Follow our blog to learn more about how we approach this commitment and to keep current with your child's experience at Today's Life Schools & Education.
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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Sniff, sniff! What's that smell?

Today I’ve been hungry.

Not just stomach-rumbling hungry.

Ravenous-eat-everything-in-sight hungry.

I plowed through my whole-grain waffles for breakfast.

Ate Ladybug’s leftover scrambled eggs too.

Sucked down four cups of coffee.

Tackled the donuts that a colleague brought to work.

I think it’s the training you get from having a toddler who’s a picky eater.

See, I can’t stand to see anything go to waste. So when Ladybug doesn’t want her microchopped lasagna, I’ll eat it – even if I just finished my own plate.

That was the case when we went to IHOP this weekend. It was the first time we had ever bought Ladybug her own meal. Usually we just tote along snacks and bottles with us, but this time we got her a pancake and scrambled eggs. She ate about half of each before she realized they’re best when airborne.

So I took away her plate, and dreading the thought of it getting dumped, ate it myself. But of course I had already ordered my own lunch, and not wanting that to go to waste, ate it too.

The whole practice has left me constantly hungry and sniffing out snacks like a dog routing through garbage.

Someone please stop me before I start asking my colleagues, “You finished with that?”

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed as I read this, then empathized last night as I finished off my daughter's raviolis before eating my gumbo for dinner. And a slice of key lime pie. Wonder what's for snack? :)

June 6, 2007 at 5:45 AM

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

And the Oscar goes to ... Ladybug

Ladybug is already a little drama queen.

When she’s tired, she’ll run across the living room, intentionally fall on the floor and pretend to sleep. She’ll even make snoring noises.

When she wants a snack, she walks to the kitchen pantry and says “cooookkkk-eeee” a la Cookie Monster style.

And when she wants to go out, she runs into her nursery to get her sandals, yelling “bye-bye” all the way.

She went through the latter routine the other day, only to find her sandals weren’t in their usual spot. She had been playing with them that morning and left them in the family room, but she didn’t remember that.

“Ma soos,” Ladybug sighed, placing her hand against her face.

But the biggest scene is always reserved for cutting her toe nails. I don’t think we’ve trimmed her toe nails more than a half dozen times in these 18 months of her life. And when I say a half dozen times, that doesn’t mean that all of them get cut at the same time. Instead, I’ll put Ladybug on my lap and hold her legs while my husband grabs her feet and goes for the longest nail.

Ladybug wails and somewhere deep inside her finds the greatest force to pull her feet away before the clipper is even within sight.

“All done! All done!” she’ll scream and cry.

If we get one nail cut, we consider it a victory and let her go. She’ll hop down and run off like nothing ever happened.

“All done!” she says happily.

Yes, all done.

To share your thoughts and read other comments, click HERE.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try cutting them when she is a sleep thats what I did it was great!!!

August 28, 2007 at 11:20 AM
Blogger Michelle Mahfoufi said...

We've thought about that but she's such a light sleeper. If she wakes up, she won't fall back asleep. So we weigh the choices: Which do we want more -- Ladybug to sleep through the night or short toenails? Sleeping through the night always wins out ...

August 29, 2007 at 9:45 AM

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Sunday, August 9, 2015

This Is Our Home Now

Kendra Hill moved to the Bakken with her husband a few years ago. Thanks to a high-paying oilfield job, the young couple could afford to start a family and buy a house. No matter what happens in oil country, they’re planning to stay in North Dakota. This story aired on Prairie Public and Marketplace as part of my "Black Gold Boom" series.


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Monday, July 21, 2014

Queen of Wands by Katee Robert

The Basics:
Queen of Wands by Katee Robert
Entangled: Select
Book Three in the Sanctify Series
Romance, Science Fiction
Published June 24, 2014
Source: Received via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Why I picked up this book:

I liked the implication of the tarot theme as well as the romance and science fiction meld.

Book Blurb:

When Jenny O’Keirna gets a chance to slip her older brother, the new king of Hansarda’s, leash, she jumps at it, even if it means playing babysitter to a too-smart-for-his-own-good inventor. She’s not expecting the attraction that sparks between them—or that Sanctify is just as desperate to take him for their own.

Never in Mac Flannery’s wildest dreams did he imagine Jenny would be the one sent for him. He sees beyond the mad grin the sexy princess of Hansarda presents to the world, and that combination of vulnerability and wicked humor is a siren call he can’t resist.

But Sanctify is always three steps ahead of them. On the run—and unable to keep their hands off each other—Jenny and Mac devise an insane plan: kidnap the leader of Sanctify, and stop this war once and for all. Unfortunately, they’ve just played right into his hands…

My thoughts:

Queen of Wands was a bit hit or miss for me. There were some really great elements, such as the science fiction setting, the pacing and the imperfection of the heroine. There were some not so great elements, like the too perfect hero, and a slightly anti-climactic conclusion to the plot.

Characters are usually where a book either makes me care or loses my interest. Jenny was a very well-written heroine - strong and loyal, but with an impulsive streak. I liked that some of the decisions she made were not great and didn't turn out well. By contrast, Mac is seemingly perfect. He's incredibly supportive of Jenny, clearly completely charmed by her from the first, and he manages to create tech gadgets out of thin air on demand. I didn't dislike him by any means. I just didn't love him in that 'book boyfriend' way. Fortunately the romance between Jenny and Mac is pretty believable and the sex scenes were sexy enough to make this part of the plot enjoyable to read.

The story itself clearly connects back to previous books in the series. I wasn't as invested in it as I might have been if I had read from book one, I think. I really didn't like Ophelia, Jenny's not-quite sister-in-law, and the heroine from book two in the Sanctify series. Perhaps if I'd read her story, I would have found her more endearing? Instead I found her combination of bluster and bitching rather off-putting, and was frustrated by the secret knowledge she picked up from reading her tarot cards.

I did enjoy all the travel in this book. There's multiple planets with very different environments, as well as a couple of spaceships that also differ in some ways. I liked that there was different levels of actively used tech on the spaceships, and that thought was put into varying degrees of luxury.

In the end, I did enjoy the book but I didn't love it. The ending was anti-climactic for me, and I think, again, that if I was more invested in the series as a whole, elements of it might have had a stronger impact.

Bottom line:

An enjoyable science fiction romance, I would say pick up Queen of Wands if you're a fan of this genre. If you're looking to branch out into something new, I wouldn't grab this one as a first introduction.

3.5 stars
For fans of science fiction romance, action, world-hopping.

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Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Top Ten Tuesday - July 29, 2014

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme from The Broke and the Bookish in which they post a book-related top ten every - you guessed it! - Tuesday.

This week the theme is Ten Authors I Own the Most Books From.

I haven't joined in on this meme in *months* and I missed a lot of great topics. I was thrilled to join in on this one though, because it wasn't hard for me to come up with my list, for once. I read pretty widely, so many names are going to appear on my list by virtue of having written the longest series. I did these off the top of my head, so it's possible I'm not accurate on raw numbers, but I suspect that's okay!

In no particular order (though the first two *are* the two I own the most books by, hands down):

1. Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb - Easily one of the most prolific contemporary authors out there, I've got maybe eight or ten of the In Death series and I'm afraid to count how many of her romance novels I own. There's something soothing about a Nora Roberts romance (though I find them rarely groundbreaking).

2. Jayne Ann Krentz / Jayne Castle / Amanda Quick - Probably my favourite historical romance author and my favourite science fiction-romance author, I find Krentz' contemporary romances slightly weaker overall, but still quite good. I love that she's created a universe that spans the ages - where the continuity exists, it pleases me to no end. Her earlier Amanda Quick novels were some of the first historical romances I read, and I latched onto them right away for having unconventional, smart, daring heroines before that became common.

3. Seanan McGuire - I adore the Toby Daye series. Adore. I don't actually own the first two or three, which I really must remedy, but I also have the InCryptid books so it starts to balance out in terms of raw numbers.

4. Jim Butcher - The Dresden Files is required reading for fans of urban fantasy as far as I'm concerned. I especially love Butcher because I got my husband hooked on him (and he's also picked up Butcher's epic fantasy works)

5. Courtney Milan  - I recently picked up six more of Milan's ebooks, and I already owned a couple. I may not have read as many of her books, but I've still got them! I find these romances are witty and well-paced and they make me happy, as a good romance should.

6. David Eddings - One of the first fantasy authors I ever read, I own the Tamuli series and the Belgariad series. It's been ages since I've read either of them, but I definitely remember being enchanted.

7. Karen Chance - The Cassie Palmer series is dribbling out at a disappointing rate: I can't blame Chance, she's producing novels at a steady pace. Sadly for me, she branched out into other series that I haven't started reading, so I just wait and wait for the next Palmer installment and keep my fingers crossed for her and Pritkin to get properly romantically entangled.

8. Gail Carriger - The Parasol Protectorate series was my first introduction to steampunk, I believe, and I have many fond feelings for it. I've bought copies for many family members and friends! Also her blog is adorable, and I love the author images I found of her, as in the image at right.

9. James Patterson - By virtue of how prolific Patterson is, I've amassed a small quantity of his books - primarily young adult (I own all but the last of the Maximum Ride series, e.g.) and I think one or two spy-type stories. Not my favourite writing style (very short chapters, breaking in the middle of dialogue at times), what he lacks in technique he makes up for with plot and creativity, I think.

10. Terry Brooks - The very first fantasy author I ever read (Elf Queen of Shannara, also one of my first 'adult' books, and used as a book report for, I believe, the third grade?), Brooks has written a lot. I have a selection of his Landover series, and the first two in the Word & Void series.

Do you have a lot of books written by any of these authors?

  1. I started the Dresden Files series but haven't read past book one! But I liked it so I should change this... Very impressive list!

    Nicole @ The Quiet Concert

    1. Thanks! You should definitely read more of the series, it's fantastic. I have to read the most recent one or two - there's some disagreement over it because I read ahead of my husband (who refuses to read ebooks or hardcovers and thus waited for the paperback to come out so he could buy it), and that sort of stalled me.

  2. So many authors I don't know! Have to go on a search-binge now!

    R x

    1. Glad I could introduce you to a few of my favourites then! :D Thank you for stopping by!

  3. Yay! Your the first other person I have found with David Eddings on their list. Happy to see other people loved some of his books too. I haven't read anything by him in at least 7 years but I plan on reading them all again soon :)

    1. I'd love to revisit his series as well. I don't remember details, just that I enjoyed them. At that point, I think I was so relieved to find something to be reading because there wasn't the vast number of YA titles available to read when I was at that age!

  4. Taking a look at all the lists, is anyone else feeling like we're toting out some of our guilty pleasures? I've definitely noticed a trend of explaining multiple copies of the same titles or an author devoured during childhood or not read in several years. I kind of love it :) I'm going to have to check the backlists for Top Ten Guilty Pleasure authors and compare!

  5. Good to hear another positive nod to Courtney Milan - I got one of her e-books after hearing Angie @ Angieville rave about it (The Governess Affair), but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. I'm always on the look-out for intelligent, witty historical romance!


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Friday, December 18, 2009

Evo Morales: Trillions for war, peanuts to save the planet

Below is the transcript from US radio show Democracy Now! of Bolivian President Evo Morales’s December 16 speech to the United Nations climate change summit at Copenhagen.

In a press conference on December 16, Bolivia's President Evo Morales said: “The budget of the United States is US$687 billion for defence. And for climate change, to save life, to save humanity, they only put up $10 billion. This is shameful.”

AMY GOODMAN: As we wrap up today's broadcast with a leader from another side of the world, from Latin America, we’re going to turn right now to Evo Morales, the president of Bolivia, who, just a few minutes ago, finished a speech in the next room. He just recently arrived here in Copenhagen. The Bolivian President Morales.

PRESIDENT EVO MORALES: [translated] And if we don’t — and I repeat this — we’re going to end our lives, all of us. So, as with the last country and with our black and indigenous brothers who were treated as slaves, and their rights were not recognised, now, today, too, our Mother Earth, she is treated as if she were a thing without life, as if she didn’t have rights.

The second climate debt is the use of atmospheric space by the developed countries. It’s not possible that atmospheric space be the exclusive property of just a few countries for their development, that the countries that are irrationally industrialised have taken over, with their greenhouse gases, the atmospheric space.

To pay this debt, they should reduce their emissions and absorb their greenhouse gases in a way that there exists a fair distribution of atmospheric space between all of the countries, taking into consideration their population, because the countries that are on the path of development need atmospheric space for their development.

The third component of climate debt is the paying of reparations, reparations for damages that have been created by the irrationally industrialised countries. For humanity together, it’s shameful that the Western countries have only offered $10 billion for climate change. I was looking at some figures.

The United States—how much does the United States spend to export terrorism to Afghanistan, to export terrorism to Iraq, and to export military bases to South America? They don’t only spend millions, but billions and trillions. I hope our figures are not wrong. For example, Obama, he asked his Congress for $40 billion more than what has already been spent. The budget of the United States is $687 billion for defence. And for climate change, to save life, to save humanity, they only put up $10 billion. This is shameful.

The budget for the Iraq war, according to the figures we have, is $2.6 trillion for the Iraq war, to go kill in Iraq. Trillions of dollars. But directed towards paying the climate debt, $10 billion.

This is completely unfair.

These are our deep observations of what’s going on. That’s why—for the war, while trillions are going to the wars, on the other hand, to save humanity and the planet, they only want to direct $10 billion.

The rich countries should take in all of the migrants who will be generated by climate change or affected by climate change. I think our brothers from Africa, our indigenous brothers from [inaudible], have a lot of moral authority. We have been invaded, supposedly discovered in Africa or Latin America, when in reality it was an invasion and plundering of indigenous peoples.

Therefore, now, in the face of the asymmetries between continents, our brothers come looking for work, and they’re kicked out of Europe, they’re kicked out of the United States. But our grandparents never kicked anyone out, and our brothers and sisters don’t come here to take hectares of land or mines.

They only come to improve their economic situation. Moreover, when they’re affected by this climate change, how is it possible they would be expulsed from Europe when they are climate refugees?

How is it possible that our brothers and sisters are not taken under and protected?

That’s why—therefore, our protest in the face of this discrimination to expulse immigrants, when we have never kicked immigrants out, we’ve never sent them home.

From: International News, Green Left Weekly issue #821 9 December 2009.

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OtherLt. Eckersly's ill-gotten gains

Mission Index

  1. Stop Lt. Eckersly, his squad (Sky Raiders)

Recover the stolen weapons

Georgia Fields

Last week the Sky Raiders hijacked a police transport carrying confiscated weapons. I just got a lead on the base where they're storing their ill-gotten gain. I need you to recover those weapons, Red Tomax. Be careful; this base is under the leadership of Lt. Eckersly. I hear he's a tough customer.

This could be a good chance to get infromation on the Sky Raiders and their operations.

Part 1: Stop Lt. Eckersly, his squad (Find the stolen weapons)
Office (Sky Raiders)

You know that Lt. Eckersly won't give up the weapons without a fight.

Objective: You have found the access code to the hideout's HQ.

Objective: You found a portable hard drive.

CluePortable hard drive

This small device contains information compiled by Lt. Eckersly on potential recruits. The potentials include several mercenaries, a few agents from other villain groups, and some military personnel.

Objective: You found the stolen weapons.

ClueStolen weapons

The serial numbers of these weapons identify them as the ones stolen from the Paragon City Police Deaprtment.

Objective: You have found some notes on the Sky Raiders' tactics

ClueSky Raiders' tactical plans

These concise plans for an upcoming operation detail a number of tactics the Sky Raiders plan to use. All these techniques are described with military precision.

Mission Complete: You defeated Lt. Eckersly and recovered the weapons.

Georgia Fields

I've heard that the Sky Raiders frequently hire themelves out as mercenaries; that's probably why they stole those weapons from the police. It's a good thing Red Tomax's around to put a crimp in their operations!

Titan Network

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Minor Story ArcMiss Francine the Freakshow teacher

Mission Index

  1. Defeat all Freaks in base (Longbow,Freakshow,Vindicators)
  2. Catch Miss Francine
  3. Recapture Miss Francine - 1:30:00

Notable Foes

Stop Freakshow altruism

Westin Phipps

People in Haven House have been talking about a change among some groups of Freakshow. It seems that a group of them have stopped wreaking havoc, and have started helping people. They're robbing from Arachnos and giving to the poor of the isles. Nothing makes my job betraying the hopes of the hopeless more difficult than altruism, particularly when it's bad people who are ones setting a good example. They have to be stopped before this spreads, and I would like you to take care of it.

My sources tell me that the Freaks are about to raid an Arachnos base for supplies to give to the needy. Wipe them out, and that should put a damper on things for the moment. The trouble is, I have no idea why the Freaks are behaving like this. If you can find out why, it might hel us clip the wings of this problem before it gets away from us.

Part 1: Defeat all Freaks in base (Find clue to Freak behaviour)
Arachnos Base @ Grandville (Longbow,Freakshow,Vindicators)

Looks like the Freaks have already cleared Arachnos out of here.

Objective: You found a bunch of schoolbooks on these Freakshow.

ClueSchool Books

You found a set of school books tucked in a backpack carried by the Freashow Tank 'T33ch@h'Z p3t'. Inside his binder, there's a list of his classes, his homework, and what days and times he's supposed to attend something called 'Miss Francine Primm's Secondary School'.

The one really puzzling thing, though, is how could T33ch@h'Z p3t have had such good handwriting? He didn't even have hands! It boggles the mind.

Objective: The paper here... It's all homework.

ClueFreakshow Homework

You've found pages of half-finished homework. There are some math sections, a few pages of spelling, and a complete 3 paragraph book report. It looks like one of the Freaks was in the middle of working on it when you attacked. It even has the class he was taking written on it, along with the name of his teacher: Miss Francine Primm.

Mission Complete: You put an end to the Freakshow's random good deeds.

Westin Phipps

It is done? Excellent! I can't wait to..

Someone's coming, let me get into character!

You monster! You fiend! How dare you come here to gloat in my face! I'll not cower down to your bullying! Many people were relying on the supplies those brave Freakshow liberated. Why must villains like you stomp on everything good that might happen to...

Are they gone? Good. Sorry about that, must keep up appearances, you know. Well, with the information you found, it sounds like this 'Miss Francine' is the real problem here. I'll ask around.

Stop Miss Francine

Westin Phipps

Now that I knew what to look for, it was easy to find out what's been going on.. It seems that a young woman has made it her personal mission to rehabilitate some of the unsavoury elements around here. There are a number of Freakshow who've grown quite attached to this plucky young school teacher, and I fear that she's rubbing off on them. This Miss Francine is becoming a shining beacon of hope. So, I'm afraid that little light must be snuffed out.

I'm glad you agree. I've had some difficulty pinning down Miss Francine. Her Freakshow friends like to move her around to keep people like you and me from finding her. But she's made a bit of an incautious error. It seems that she's trying to set up a little school, of all things. I tols people that I'd like to help her, but I discovered that she's already getting help from an outside source. It seems that school supplies are being funneled to her, and then left in a forgotten warehouse. With the class schedule you found and my own connections, I think I've found out where and when the next pick-up is. I'm told that she eventually plans to turn the place into a school-room! Can you imagine it? Miss Francines school for Freaks! The very image of Freakshow sitting in rows of desks is hilarious. It would almost be worth letting her continue her work just for that, but no. Your job is to capture her, and find out where those supplies are coming from. No doubt the Freaks she's teaching will try to protect her, but I assure you that Dreck and the other Freakshow who aren't taking classes with that little troublemaker want her out of the picture as much as I do.

Part 2: Catch Miss Francine (4 clues to find, Kidnap Miss Francine)
Abandoned Warehouse @ Grandville

Time to catch the source of all the trouble: A good hearted school teacher who wants to help people.

Objective: You found some interesting correspondence.

ClueA thank you letter

Dear Miss Luminary,
I would like to thank you for all your help getting supllies for my classes. I know that you and Longbow have put a great deal of effort to helping me, and exposed yourselves to some danger in order to get these supplies through, so I wanted to thank you again for all that you've done.

Yes, now that you mention it, I do remember one of my students mentioning a 'Waever-1'. He was an Arachnos science officer who used to party with them. What I was told, I was told in confidence, so I'm not sure I should relay it. But if Statesman himself is interested, well, it must be important. Let me think on it.

Francine Primm

PS - Your notes on 'L33T' have also helped me a greta deal, though most of my students think it's funny when I try to use it. Thank you again.

Objective: You found something.

ClueStudent Files

These folders contain the class records of Miss Francine's students. She's sharted their imporvement, and where they need help. She also has notes about their personal lives here and there. Seems that a number of the Freaks have been very candid with her about their personal problems. You take a moment to skim through some of Miss Francine's earnest notes about the pathetic wasted lives of her students for a good laugh, until you see something that makes your blood run cold:

Some of her Freakshow students used to hanf out with a slumming Arachnos technician. Miss Francine learned a lot about Arachnos' inner workings from talking to them. The thing that makes this really interesting it that the Arachnos tech they were slumming with wasn't just any technician. It was Weaver-1, the master designer responsible for much of Arachnos' technology.

That could be some pretty explosive imformation.

Objective: You found some school supplies. Might be worth something.

ClueSchool Supplies

This crate contains all kinds of school supplies. Books, paper, calculators, even some laptops. As you grab some of the valuable items, you notice that everything here is from the Paragon City Public School District.

Miss Francine Idealistic Teacher [Captive]
Miss Francine is a plucky young teacher who came to the Rogue Isles to teach the underpriveliged. Somehow her sweet demeanor and good intentions caught the attention of several members of the Freakshow. She since started an underground school dedicated to teaching and rehabilitating members of the normall violent street gang.

Mission Complete: You captured Miss Francine and found out who was funding her.

Clue'But I'm just a teacher!'

Miss Francine was really upset when you handed her over to the Arachnos soldiers Phipps had called on. She was clearly sad about al the people you'd hurt to get to her, but the little school teacher's will was still unbroken:

'The boys mentioned your name a few days ago, and I hadn't understood why they sounded so worried. Now I know. I hadn't even realized that attendance at classes had been so high because they were trying to protect me. And look at what happened to them. All because of you.'

'My class told me about villains like you. Even the Freakshow are afraid of villains like you. Most of them ended up where they did because they were desperate, or lost, or in a bad place. But you have to choose this like every single day. They were all wild, and crazy, but often there were some good boys in there at the core. I can't even imagine what a pitiful creature like you must be like, deep down.'

Westin Phipps

Oh, there will be such sweet anguish when word gets out that little Miss Francine Primm was captured. Serves he right for giving some hope to this trash.

So, she was getting her help from Longbow, was she? Well, Arachnos will lock her away and pry every single shred of what she learned about us from her pretty little head. Whatever's left of her will be dumped on the street.

I'll have to make sure that she makes her way here to Haven House. I'll put her broken little form to work on the staff to show my charity. And when people see what became of her, it will send them further into despair.

That, Dread Tomax, is what I call job satisfaction.

Recapture Miss Francine within 90 minutes

Westin Phipps

Well, something rather extraordinary has occured. It seems that Paragon City's finest took action to help poor little Francine. Luminary and Blue Steel broke her out of Arachnos custody! These kind of last-minute heroic rescues cannot be tolerated. She has to be recaptured. Blue Steel's been sighted back in Paragon City, so it's probably just Luminary and Longbow protecting her right now. And, luckily for us, some of her friends have unknowningly betrayed her location to me. This will still be difficult. I've heard Luminary is very powerful, and there will be numerous Longbow guards.

You'll have to move fast. You'll only have 90 minutes before they can get her back to Paragon City.

And you may want to take allies with you. Luminary is no push-over.

There's no time to lose. Now, as I mentioned, Luminary is probably still guarding her, so I'd recommend you bring some cronies along if you don't have them already. We cannot allow Miss Francine to get away. What she knows is too dangerous.

Well, and I do want to see her reduced to a broken wreck for all the trouble she's caused me, but that's purely personal.

Part 3: Recapture Miss Francine - 1:30:00 (Kidnap Miss Francine)
Underwater Longbow Base @ Grandville

Part of you has to wonder what grim fate awaits Miss Francine Primm if you catch her.

LuminaryLuminary [Hero]
The current Luminary is an android built by Positron to replace the original Luminary, who retired in 1995. Far from being a cold machine, Luminary has developed a strong personality under the watchful gaze of the android Citadel of the Freedom Phalanx. Armed with powerful energy blasts, Luminary has become a shining symbol of heroism and progress for Paragon City.

Mission Complete: You re-captured Miss Francine, and returned her to the harsh care of Arachnos.

Clue'They'll torture me, you know.'

As you tossed her into the rough grip of the Arachnos guards in the mini-sub, little Miss Francine Primm looked you straight in the eye and said:

'They'll torture me, you know. I was only in their hands for a short while the first time, but in those hours the things they did were indescribable. This time, I know that it will be worse. It will have to be. They're afraid that it will be worse. It will have to be. They're afraid of me. I was kind to those poor boys in the Freakshow, and their lives started to change. That's what Arachnos is afraid of. Not all of the people in the Isles are psychopaths. Many just never knew another way. And that's why they have to destroy me.'

'It's funny, but I'm not angry at you or afraid of you. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. I only feel pity for you. I feel sorry for you. You poor, pathetic creature.'

Westin Phipps

Oh, poor little Francine Primm. I've got channels in Arachnos, i'm going to get every minute of her destruction recorded. Hmmm... I think I might even leak it out around the isles. Seeing the horrors visited on that girl should crush people's spirits all the more, and keep the next one like her away for some time.

Miss Primm in Arachnos' captivity, the Freakshow back to normal, and even Luminary sent to the repair shop! Oh, I really must thank you, Dread Tomax! You've made this such a good day!

Souvenir: A Class Syllabus

This class syllabus is stained by blood and machine oil. You pried it from the mechanical clutches of one of the students of:

Miss Francine the Freakshow Teacher

It all started when Westin Phipps, the crokked proprietor of Haven House, had a problem. It seems that members of the Freakshow had changed from all-destroying party machines into altruistic bandits, robbing from Arachnos to give to the poor of the Rogue Isles. Phipps asked you to put a stop to it. You barged in when the Freaks were sacking an Arachnos warehouse, and took them down. You also found clues to the source of the problem: A school teacher named Miss Francine Primm.

Westin Phipps used his connections with the poor and downtrodden people of the isles, betraying their trust to find out where Miss Francine would be. Armed with that information you moved in to capture her. Along the way, you found out that she had received some aid from Longbow. It seems that Paragon's undercover law enforcement division had discovered that some of Miss Francine's students used to hang out with Weaver-1, the genius engineer who had designed much of Arachnos' technology. But your job was to catch Miss Francine Primm, so you just filed that away for later.

It was only a little later that Phipps learned that the heroes Luminary and Blue Steek had broken Francine Primm out of Arachnos detention. Using his sources, he pin-pointed her at an underwater Longbow base, and sent you in to bring her back to Arachnos captivity. Blue Steel was already back in Paragon City, so you just had to fight past Longbow Soldiers, Miss Francine's remaining Freakshow students, and Luminary herself to bring the hapless school teacher in. She had sharp words for you, but you have to give her credit. Even knowing the horrors she was in for in Arachnos' interrogation pits, she was still strong and brave to the end.

You kept this class syllabus afterwards. Each blood-stained page of it is filled with the promise of new chances at the future. Promises you made sure will never come true. You took it as a trophy, but every time you look at it, all you can see are Francine Primm's eyes looking into your own as the Arachnos guards took her away.

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The Telephone Disclosure and Dispute Resolution Act of 1992
Sec. 5701. - Short title; findings

(a) Short title

This chapter may be cited as "The Telephone Disclosure and Dispute Resolution Act of 1992".

(b) Findings

The Congress finds the following:

The use of pay-per-call services, most commonly through the use of 900 telephone numbers, has grown exponentially in the past few years into a national, billion-dollar industry as a result of recent technological innovations. Such services are convenient to consumers, cost-effective to vendors, and profitable to communications common carriers.

Many pay-per-call businesses provide valuable information, increase consumer choices, and stimulate innovative and responsive services that benefit the public.

The interstate nature of the pay-per-call industry means that its activities are beyond the reach of individual States and therefore requires Federal regulatory treatment to protect the public interest.

The lack of nationally uniform regulatory guidelines has led to confusion for callers, subscribers, industry participants, and regulatory agencies as to the rights of callers and the oversight responsibilities of regulatory authorities, and has allowed some pay-per-call businesses to engage in practices that abuse the rights of consumers.

Some interstate pay-per-call businesses have engaged in practices which are misleading to the consumer, harmful to the public interest, or contrary to accepted standards of business practices and thus cause harm to the many reputable businesses that are serving the public.

Because the consumer most often incurs a financial obligation as soon as a pay-per-call transaction is completed, the accuracy and descriptiveness of vendor advertisements become crucial in avoiding consumer abuse. The obligation for accuracy should include price-per-call and duration-of-call information, odds disclosure for lotteries, games, and sweepstakes, and obligations for obtaining parental consent from callers under 18.

The continued growth of the legitimate pay-per-call industry is dependent upon consumer confidence that unfair and deceptive behavior will be effectively curtailed and that consumers will have adequate rights of redress.

Vendors of telephone-billed goods and services must also feel confident in their rights and obligations for resolving billing disputes if they are to use this new marketplace for the sale of products of more than nominal value
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Become a Secret Society Teen Ambassador!

Want to be a Secret Society Teen Ambassador? Submit your name and US/Canada mailing address to Tom between October 7, 2009 and October 19, 2009 and the Bradford Trust will pick fifteen winners at random. Each one of the fifteen winners will receive an Ambassador Initiation Kit in the mail!

What’s in the Initiation Kit?

Â “The Initiates were given what looked like tattoos at the nape of their necks.” A set of 15 temporary ankh tattoos for you and 14 Initiates. Give them out wisely!

stainiac.jpgÂ “Anastasia took a sip of her martini, leaving a dark red lipstick print on her glass.” Your ticket to gorgeous lips and cheeks, TheBalm’s Stainiac Beauty Queen tinted gel blush (“a hint of tint for the lips and cheeks”)! A $15 value!

Â “A card was included with the package that simply read, ‘With compliments.'” A one-of-a-kind vintage New York postcard signed by Tom — use it as a bookmark!

fieldnotes.jpgÂ “Patch and Nick used to play this game in class, where they would pass notes.” One beautiful, retro-styled Field Notes mini-notebook, perfect for writing down secrets! At the Bradford Trust, we’re crazy about these little notebooks. Normally, three are $10!

Â “Lauren started to open it, but Emily stopped her.” Last, but not least: a secret initiation tool — here’s a hint: it’s sealed with an ankh!

After I Get My Kit, What Do I Have to Do?

Once you get your kit, go initiate your friends into the world of Secret Society! Loan them your copy, or better yet, tell them to pick up one of their own. For a chance to win more, see the instructions below about the tattoos!

My Friends Love the Tattoos! What Do I Do Now?

In the future, we will be launching a contest in which to enter, you will need to submit a photo of four people wearing the ankh tattoos (yes, one of them can be you!). If you want to get a head start on that contest (hint: the prize is fabulous and involves music), snap some pics of your friends wearing those tattoos; remember, you have to show all four tattoos somewhere in the pic (think hands, wrists, ankles — or if you’re really adventurous, you can go for the back of the neck!). You can start submitting those pics via email to Tom, but we won’t be officially announcing the prize until later (some things have to stay secret!). A selection of the best photos will be published on; if you don’t want your photo published, please note that in your entry, and we will honor that request.

Are You Really Only Giving Away Fifteen Kits?

The Bradford Trust’s giveaway of 15 Secret Society Ambassador Initiation Kits will start today. The second giveaway of 15 will be announced later in the fall (if you read the book, you’ll understand why…), so stay tuned!

And Remember…

“There is power in being one of the first.”


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Tonga Flag

Tonga Travel Guide

By Bicycle

Rather than going to all the trouble and expense of renting a car, see Tongatapu by bicycle. From Nuku'alofa you can easily reach all the main sights in two days, visiting the east and west sides of the island on alternate days. The main roads are excellent without too much traffic, and steep hills don't exist. The open landscape invites you to look around at leisure and there are lots of small villages. Abundant road signs make it very easy to find your own way, but don't trust the posted distances. Cycling can be tiring and dusty, but the friendly islanders are quick to smile and wave at a pedaling visitor. And if you happen to see a black van with a police escort coming your way, pull over and let them pass: You're about to see the king!

Quality 15-speed mountain bikes are for rent at Niko Bicycle Rental (theoretically Mon.-Sat. 0900-1700) on the waterfront opposite the Dateline Hotel. Many guesthouses also rent bicycles. A bicycle tour is a good way to liven up a dull Tongan Sunday, provided you've reserved your bike by Saturday morning.

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