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Oscar History

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Entries in LGBT (416)

NYFF: Uncle Howard & Brillo Box (3 ¢ off)

Here's Jason reporting from NYFF on two docs that deal with a younger generation being affected and influenced by the art dealings of their elders.

It seems like every other gay person that I meet has a gay aunt or uncle who informed their childhood in some way - I never did; the closest I got was a friend of my mother's who was whispered about as a weird bachelor type, but he was out of her life before I was born. But you remember such things, small weird whispers as they are, when they're your singular life-line to a big world actually existing out there where you can figure your own stuff out.

I don't know or care if director Aaron Brookner is gay himself but you get the same sensation from watching Uncle Howard, his new documentary on his uncle, a film-maker who died at the age of 34 from AIDS - the thirst to eat up all he can about this fabulous person who lived a fabulous life in the margins of his own, and what that was like for him...

Click to read more ...

Feeling the "Effects" (One Mississippi, Episode 2)

by Stephen Fenton

When a loved one dies, there’s a flurry of activity; all manner of tasks to be done and arrangements to be made. It’s those first few days after the funeral that are the hardest, when reality starts to kick in, and you realize you to make sense of this new normal. And that’s where we find Tig and family in the second episode of One Mississippi.

“How was your stay at the hospital? Were you satisfied? Or did things not go so well?...Because you died.”

Click to read more ...

NYFF: Mysteries of "The Ornithologist"

Nathaniel R reporting from the New York Film Festival

Would it help if I could speak Portuguese? Perhaps an intimate knowledge of Portugal's history and politics or a Catholic education would do the trick? What is it exactly about films from Portugal that make them so impenetrable? The latest confusion-maker from the Iberian peninsula, on the heels of last year's confounding but intermittently wondrous Arabian Nights, is The Ornithologist by Joao Pedro Rodrigues.

The film begins, literally enough, with a long sequence in which our protagonist Fernando (Paul Hamy, a fine Tom Hardy-like specimen) watches birds for hours in an idyllic lake. He also takes a swim, has cel phone trouble when he tries to take a call, and kayaks further into nature to see rarer birds. The opening act, part nature documentary, part contemplative reverie is superb. Both the cinematography and its subjects are beautiful and irresistibly unknowable. One intuitively right and sustained visual motif is frequent shots from the birds point of view where Fernando looks just as alien to them.

This peaceful wonder gives way soon enough to abrupt danger. From that point forward the film becomes stranger and stranger with each new, well, stranger that Fernando meets in his travels: Chinese tourists, Amazonian hunters, mute shepherds, and more. While clearly allegorical in the telling, the meanings escaped me.

LGBT cinephiles might know the director Joao Pedro Rodrigues from his disturbing and sexually charged debut O Fantasma (2000) or the trans drama To Die Like a Man which was Portugal's Oscar submission in 2010.  The Ornithologist is similarly suffused with queer eroticism -- Fernando is tied up like Saint Sebastian in his tighty whities in one memorable sequence, and has sex with a shepherd named Jesus in another. The Ornithologist is thankfully not quite as nihilistic as the director's earlier work and even ends on an incongruously giddy (tongue-in-cheek?) note, but it remains a head scratcher despite that inarguably hypnotic pull.

Previous Reviews from NYFF:
Graduation (from the director of 4 Months 3 Weeks and 2 Days)
The Unknown Girl (from Belgium's Dardenne brothers)
Staying Vertical (from the director of Stranger by the Lake)
Paterson (Directed by Jim Jarmusch starring Adam Driver)
Abacus (Documentary from Steve James of Hoop Dreams fame)
I, Daniel Blake (this year's Palme D'or Champ)
Hermia & Helena (Directed by Matías Piñeiro)

Transparent Season 3. Part One

TV’s best comedy/drama/tragedy, Transparent, is back for Season 3 in all of its sexual/pansexual/transsexual glory as creator Jill Soloway brings us back into the tumultuous lives of the fallible Pfefferman family.  Here’s a look at Episodes 1-3…

Episode One:  Elizah
It’s a bummer that the first show out of the gate is probably the weakest episode of Transparent we’ve seen.  While the show starts promisingly with Rabbi Raquel (the magical Kathryn Hahn, promoted to full-time cast member this season) jogging through misty woods to a soundtrack of Jacques Brel’s “Ne Me Quitte Pas”…this episode is devoted almost entirely to one storyline.  While Maura (Jeffrey Tambor) works one of her first shifts at the LGBT community center hotline, she receives a call from a confused young trans girl named Elizah.  When Elizah hangs up on her, Maura is so moved and involved that she spends the day tracking her down...

Click to read more ...

Some Brain Vomiting About "Finding Prince Charming"

By Nathaniel R

Outside of talent-based competitions like Project Runway and RuPaul's Drag Race, I rarely watch reality television. Sure, I've seen an episode here and there of some of the big ones (mostly due to Emmy races or being around friends who were watching them) but I've never seen an episode of anything from the Housewives subgenre or Kardashians anything and never will. I've also never seen an episode of The Bachelor or Bachelorette.

This avoidance is less about artistic judgement than a lifelong aversion to famous people who are famous for no good reason. Celebrity that comes from talent or a contribution to society is easy to respect even if you don't personally admire that particular celebrity. Nevertheless after becoming obsessed with UNReal last season (have you finished S2?) its brilliant acting, disturbing psychology, and its evisceration of The Bachelor I suddenly had all these curiousities about this particular subgenre.

Enter Finding Prince Charming on Logo which bills itself as the 'first' all gay dating show and is basically The Bachelor with old school Shakespearean casting; men play all the roles...

Click to read more ...

Tig Rising in "One Mississippi" (Episode 1)

by Steven Fenton

If you’re a comedy fan, or if you’ve listened to any NPR show in the last four years, you know Tig Notaro. For the uninitiated, the comedian rocketed to fame when she turned her lowest point in life into comedy gold. In 2012, Tig Notaro had a pretty shitty year. Her mother passed away, she ended a relationship, and she was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. Mere days after her diagnosis, Tig delivered an instantly iconic comedy routine where she mined her personal miserie; spoke frankly about the unbelievable circumstances she’d found herself in; and somehow transformed all that profound pain into poignant hilarity.

Notaro’s brilliance and signature laidback charm have launched her into stardom with albums, HBO specials, cameos on Inside Amy Schumer and Transparent, the Netflix documentary Tig, and now her very own Amazon show. In One Mississippi, Notaro channels her dark, deeply felt humor into a beautifully made, sensitive, and rollicking portrait of a grieving family with a talent roster full of Film Experience favorites...

Click to read more ...

Drag Race All Stars E5: RuVenge is a Dish Best Served With Love...

By Nathaniel R

How is RuPaul's Drag Race doing it this season? Eight years into the RuVerse and despite a trainwreck of a first attempt with All Stars, All Stars Season 2 is arguably earning its rather instant rep as "Best Season Evah, Yaaaas." The first season, an ill considered 'doubles' event was echoed if you will in Episode 5's "Ru-Venge" narrative in which the eliminated queens were brought back and chose comedy partners from the remaining queens. Somehow even this unmistakable reminder of Season 1's slog of watching divas drag basic bitches around like dead weight behind them transcended the concept.

It helps I think that RuPaul is playing with the format more than ever. Usually when stars have nothing left to prove they coast. Ru did win a long deserved Emmy recently and dont you forget it. (Logo won't let you, bless.) But America's favorite Drag Superstar is making fun of coasting itself while pushing her own envelope playfully.

RuPaul scrapbooking instead of working. Hee.

The funniest meta bit in each episode is hearing what RuPaul and the judges will be doing while the competition Queens deliberate who should be sent home (since they've taken over the judging duties) -- this week it was scrapbooking. Ha! It's a delightful inversion of the "work" of a reality show panel with the open secret being that the Queen Mother and her Squirrelfriends have always been having a fucking ball. What is "work"? Oh, yes, you mean "WERQ!"

awkward hugs, villain edits, and NSFW Alaska after the jump...

Click to read more ...

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Mariah Carey denies claims she's called off James Packer wedding: 'Everybody puts so much pressure'

Mariah Carey says everyone needs to "let it go" when it comes to her wedding to James Packer.

Mariah Carey has put her stiletto-clad foot down: She won't tolerate those tabloid rumours that she and James Packer have called off their upcoming wedding.

In the interview above with E! News, the 46-year-old hit back at recent reports that suggested all wasn't so peachy between the singer and her Aussie billionaire beau.

"We're getting it together, darling," Mariah said, with just a touch of exasperation. "You know what? It takes time. The dress and the whole thing.

"And I'm working and he's working and you know, everybody puts so much pressure."  Quoting Frozen's hit song, Mariah added that people should just "let it go". Noted!

And just to prove how ready she is for wedded bliss, the 'Fantasy' singer says she's already bought her dress…and it's "in a box, darling".

It might stay there for a while, though, if this business with her estranged husband Nick Cannon doesn't go away.

TMZ recently claimed that the 35-year-old was intentionally holding up their divorce proceedings and delaying her marriage to James, 48.

"I think that the main thing is that Nick knows that I need him to make this work," Mariah said. Hear that, Nick?

Last week, America's Got Talent host Nick told Extra: "There's nothing to tell. Me and Mariah get along great, and it's a process. Nobody is holding nothing up. Why would I hold it up? I want her to be happy."

The pair first split in August 2014, with Nick filing for divorce that December. They share custody of their five-year-old twins, Monroe and Moroccan.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

ColourQ #122 Heart BAnner

Happy Tuesday everyone in blogland!
We have a new palette at ColourQ and it was so easy to
work with this week. Arielle always picks the best combos - I don't know
how she does it week after week!
Here is this weeks super palette
Doesn't that get you in the mood for a great Valentine project?????
Well, it sure got me in the mood for one! I saw some
wonderful banners on Pinterest and I just had to make one myself
The hearts are acrylic with the sheet music behind, but it is hard to tell in the photo.
I used my Nesties for the scallop circles, the letters were cut on my Cricut (Storybook) then glittered
the rosette is Tim Holtz - I will never get tired of that die - a few flowers and some ribbon. Done.
Super simple, you can make one yourself in NO time!

Be sure to hop over to the ColourQ blog, not only to see the fabulous projects
made by the rest of the DT, but also to check out our newest DT member.

I am also linking up at Paper Issues - All We Need Is LOVE

Thanks for stopping by today :o)
Have a great one!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Stick Pin Tutorial

using plain floral pins to make decorative stick pins
Stick pins are a great embellishment- I use them in so many ways. I add them to my layouts, to cards, to pretty much everything. Today's post is all about showing you how to make your own!

Stick pins, they are available in all shapes, colors and sizes.
And you can get a whole lot of them in one box for not a whole lot of $$$
  Recognize that one of the bottom right???? 72 of them for $3.90.

floral pins come in all shapes to make a variety of stick pins
I am fortunate enough to live right down the road from
a floral supply house, so I can pick up a lot of mine there.
But if you Google "Floral Pins" you will find an AMAZING array of them.

Glass beads and jewelry findings dress up your stick pins
You will also need beads, some small metal findings and Glossy Accents.
I use glass and crystal beads, because I like sparkle, but you can use
whatever you like. I buy them when ever they are on sale.

Adding glass beads to stick pins.
Now for the fun part! Simply thread your beads onto the pins.
When you have your pin looking how you want it, slide the last two
beads back down just a little bit and add a tiny bit of Glossy Accents
on the shank on the pin. Then slide the beads back in place.
I usually do this for the last two beads/findings.
If you just glue the beads together, they will still slide down the pin,
so it is important to get the glue on the shank itself.
Lay it down flat to dry.
THAT IS IT! You just made a stick pin :o)
Now make a few more, in the colors that you know you will use on your projects.

Here are some I made the other day.
beautiful decorative stick pins.
I know that I use a lot of pinks, greens, blues, and blacks.
So these are the colors I used this time.

decorative stick pins
Whenever I find interesting beads / findings on sale, I pick them up. I love that sea
shell shaped finding pictured here.

decorative stick pins
I try to keep a variety of sizes, shapes and colors on hand, so when I am in the middle
of a project I can just reach over to my pin cushion and pluck one out.

Decorative stick pins
I hope you enjoyed my tutorial on making stick pins. I would really love your feedback!
If you need help in finding pins, please email me and I would be glad to help.

Thanks for stopping by today!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sweet Love Child

As some of you may know, I am taking a break from scrapping my own children,
and have moved on to scrapping my friends kids.
Frankly, my kids are grown and aren't that cute anymore :o)
Still love 'em though!! and will get back to their pictures sooner or later!
My friends still have cute, little kids! and I just wanted a change of faces on my LO's
My own children, strangely enough, were not unhappy about not being the
focus of my every project. mmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,

So today I have a LO I made for the Sketch Challenge over at LYB.
I have been gaga over their papers since they first started making them.
I LOVE the finish of their papers - it is very linen like. Nice eye candy.
I am also entering into the challenge over at Catered Crop
So here is my LO,,,,,
If you know me at all, then you know I am quite the paper hoarder. Well for this I used papers
from the LYB Cupcake Love, which is only 1 year old, but also the LYB Baby Safari,
which is just a little older. :o) I also used some Bazzill, some Prima, a Spellbinders die,
some Kaisercraft, the transparencies are LYB Sweet Love line, some chipboard from
goodness knows how long I have had that, Tattered Angels, brads, floss, twine, and this and that.

See those cute little stick pins??? I love stick pins and I use them on almost every LO.
They are really pricey to buy. Guess what? They are REALLY CHEAP to make.
Tomorrow I will put up a tutorial on how to make them. You will be amazed at how easy it is!!

So, I had a lot of pink going on here, which in my mind is not a bad thing, but I wanted to lighten the page up a bit. So I took my chippie, and applied  colors of Inka Gold. A lighter base color (Old Silver) then added a highlights (Indian Yellow and Rose). This stuff should be the product of the year. It is awesome. Instantly dry and you can add your piece to the page. No waiting to dry!!!

Here is the sketch from LYB
Very yummy, yes???
Be sure to check out the blog for the rules. You have until  February 18th to enter.

Hop over by Catered Crop The challenge is to use a printed page or newsprint on your project.

Catered Crop

I am also linking up over at TinyNatt where the challenge was to add BANNERS to your LO.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!
Very rainy here to day, which makes for great stay in my studio weather :o)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

ColorQ #121

It is Tuesday so it is time for a new ColourQ  palette.
This weeks colors were so fun to work with, green is always a favorite!
I have also used the fabulous sketch from Helmar USA for this
Here is a look at my LO
I have used a negative from my Dusty Attic chippie for the frame,
colored it with Inka Gold and stamped it. The Christmas tree was embossed with my CB.

Embellies from Maya Road, Lili Bee, and some from my stash.
I die cut the "Santa" with Sizzlits die and the swirl with Quikutz.

Here is the gorgeous Color palette that Arielle gave us to work with this week,,,
Please hop over to the blog to see the wonderful creation made by the rest of
the DT -these ladies are so talented!!
Here is the fabby sketch from Helmar
I am also linking up at Stuck On U Sketches ~ Winter Fun Die Cuts

Thanks for stopping by today!
I hope you have a sensational day ~ it is shaping up to be beautiful here in
Dallas - about 75 degrees and sunshine!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Frosted Designs ~ Acrylic

Monday again! How does it happen??? Seems like the weekend just gets here and then it is GONE!
And then it is time to start the week over again :)

Today I have a project I have been meaning to make for a WHILE!
I bought the acrylic words from ClearScraps way back in September
at the convention in Houston, and then found a frame - on clearance no less - a month or so later.
But I never got around to actually making it.
This weeks Fabulous Friday challenge over at Frosted Designs is to
use Acrylic, vellum or transparency on your project, so I dug everything out and here it is.

The overall size is 21 X 15 including frame. I used papers from
Pink Paisley for my background and MME for the backing of the acrylic words.
(sorry about the poor lighting - the sun was not cooperating with me!)

After I cut my background paper I stamped it. I also stamped the acrylic and then added glitter and bling.
I edged it with a paint pen before all of that. My flowers are a mix - the crocheted ones are from my dear friend who loves me enough to make them for me - you can find Sandy HERE on Ebay I also used some made from the wonderful stamps and dies from Heartfelt Creations.

Be sure to stop by Frosted Designs and check out the challenges!
Lots of fun going on over there!
Have a great Monday

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sweet Bunny Easter Card

Howdy fellow bloggers! I hope you had a great weekend!
I have been so busy the last few days installing cabinets and trim!
So sorry I have not been around to update with a new project!
Two more cabinets to go and the room is complete!

Today I have a super cute card that I made with Just For Fun Stamps- they have some
super cute stamps - be sure to check them out.

To day I have used a very cute Easter Bunny (#E3394) and Easter Grass
(I couldn't find the number!) Here is a look at my card,,,
How sweet is this little guy? I have used Lily Bee papers, Prima, my McGill punch,
twine, Bazzill cardstock, and that beautiful die that I used if from
Heartfelt Creations I LOVE it!!! I have colored my image
with my Prisma pencils and added stickles here and there.

I used the great card sketch over at Frosted Designs and here is a look at it
Hop over to their blog and check out the challenges they have going on.
They are always so fun!

I am also linking up at:
Alphabet Challenge Blog ~ Y - You can choose

Thanks for stopping by today!
Hope you have a great week :o)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Frosted Designs and Scrapbookers Anonymous

Really, two of my favorite challenge sites,,, and this week the
challenges went so well together I had to squish them into one!
Paint was the theme at Frosted Designs and at Scrapbookers Anonymous the
challenge was paint AND masking. Well,,,,, I just bought this fabby stencil from
Crafter's Workshop that I was itching to use. So I used the stencil to mask my
background with white paint. Here is a look at my LO,,,
While it was still wet I used a rubber stamp to put some texture into the paint.
After the paint was dry I used a little Inka Gold on it to highlight the textures.
I also painted the chippie letters and crowns and the flower I made from rick-rack.

Here is a close up of the textures in the paint...
I have used Bazzill cardstock, some OLD Tim Holtz 8X8 papers (I am such a hoarder) some
Basic Grey chippies as well as Tim Holtz grungeboard, some flowers and bling and the
new stamp set I got from Just Right Cling this weekend at the stamp show
(the little black tag peeking out at the top. SUPER cool set, the
stamps match the spellbinders dies!!!)

You can find the Frosted Designs Challenge HERE
You can find the Scrapbookers Anonymous Challenge HERE
Please do play along!
I get so much more done playing along with challenges!

Thanks for stopping by today :o)

Monday, January 16, 2012

Get Picky

Happy Monday fellow bloggers!
I have been away for a few days at a wonderful stamp show. Well, away is really not the
right word, it is right down the road from me, like 3 minutes, but I spend all
weekend there. so that is why I haven't updated my blog since last week!
I got some of the COOLEST stamps there - can't wait to use them.

Today I have a LO for the Get Picky challenge. Loved the sketch this week!!
Once again I am using cute photos of my little neighbor - I am taking a break from my own kiddos!
I did something I almost never do - I started with PLAIN WHITE CARDSTOCK.
I have been doing a lot of stamp resist backgrounds lately and I bought this great
stamp last week at the other stamp show I went to and I just HAD to use it!! So a
little white was in order. I stamped, embossed and them sprayed with Memories Mist.
The die cut is from my Ornamental Iron Cricut cart.
I have also used Fiskars, Kaiser Kraft, Offray, Ranger, Maya Road and a few things from my stash.
Here is the wonderful sketch I used
Yummy, right??? If you have not played along with Get Picky - you should go check it out!
One of my fave places!

Thanks for stopping by today!
Have a wonderful week

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

GPP Crusade #59

Ok, so last week I am fooling around, just surfing the net, and I come across this awesome site.
And I mean AWESOME. It has the coolest things going on there -
each month there is a new crusade (read - challenge) but here is the kicker;
they are all about YOU. Yeah - you! How many things do we scrapbook about ourselves??
Not many if you are like me!
So they have some great downloads that you can print and use in your crusade to
document yourself. Love these!
So of course I sent a link to all my scrappin pals to go check it out.
My BFF tells me that she needs a journal to do her crusades in
(read - get off your you-know-what and make me a
journal Miss I-quit-my-job-to-stay-home-and-scrap )
So I came home and rustled up some stuff I had here in my studio and made her this
Ok - so I bought these papers from Graphic 45 a while back because I found it so
hilarious and it reminded me of my friend. It is legendary that she does not cook.
I absolutely had to make something about her with these papers!!!

For the inside of the book I used what ever media I had on hand.
Lots of different stuff.
I also used some Basic Grey and some Creative Imaginations stickers.

The great printed sheet on the right is one of the printables from the site - it is Crusade #59 so
I printed it and added it to her journal

Covers were made with bookboard that I covered with Graphic 45 papers and
then edged with Inka Gold.

Here is a side shot. In all I think I ended up with about 50 pages.

So the site is HERE the GPP Street Team - go check it out. I am thinking you will like it.
And you have a WHOLE MONTH to get each crusade done!

Have a greet week!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

ColourQ #119

It's Tuesday so it is time for ColourQ this weeks colors were so fun to work with!
Anything involving pink is right up my alley :o)

For a little change of pace I have made a card this week using stamps from
Just For Fun they have so many great stamps!

Here is a look at the color palette this week
I didn't have any Pretty in Pink cardstock so I used Blushing Bride instead.
Be sure to hop over to the BLOG and see the other great projects made by the Royal Court.
These ladies are so very talented!

Thanks for stopping by today!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Sketchy Thursdays

Is it Monday already??? Where did the weekend go????? sigh
And it has been pouring down rain here since last night to boot :o(
I am hoping for much better tomorrow!!!
How was your weekend? I hope it was fabulous!!!

Today I have a LO made with the wonderful sketch over at Sketchy Thursdays  I so
love their site, but I forget to play along so often! I think it is the Thursdays - so
I have resolved to play and get my sketch up at the beginning of
the week so I won't miss the deadline!!

OK - I can't remember who made the background paper! I cut the strip off a while
back - I think it was Pink Paisley or Prima - so sorry!  The mat paper and the paper I used for
the die cut is Pink Paisley. I have also used Creative Imaginations and Basic Grey
chippie letters. The swirlies are grungeboard. The butterfly is cut from a Bo Bunny paper.

For my background I used some masking, some stamp resist embossing, some
splattering with inks - love how it turned out!!
The small butterfly was my mask - I colored it with Inka Gold and added
some more color with Viva's Precious Metal  and pearls.

The color prompt was to use blue and silver - I have used blue on the background and big butterfly and silver Inka Gold on the diecut (it's hard to see but it's there I swear!) and the swirlies.

Here is the fab sketch I used
If you have never played over at Sketchy Thursdays - it is a lot of fun!
Be sure to check them out.

Thanks for hopping by - be sure to stop by tomorrow -I
will have my ColourQ post up!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Creative Escape Memories

I went to Creative Escape in Arizona in August 2010. I met a friend of mine out there
and we had a WONDERFUL time!!! I made a Lo for my book, but I wanted to
hang something on the wall too - something that I could look at everyday.
So I made this cute little thing!
 I used two Maya Road chippies and another chippie from somewhere
I don't remember to create the base.

` I used so many things from my stash for this ~ Maya Road, Prima, Tattered Angels, some hand painted Chinese paper, MME papers, brads, some metals from the craft department, some stick pins I made,,,,,,,

On the bottom I used some Melissa Frances ribbon, as well as Offray, May Arts, some printed for the event itself and some others. I attached the little tiny bottle of Tabasco that I swiped from the breakfast bar one morning at the resort - it was TOO CUTE to resist!!!
And to finish it off I dangled some charms from the bottom of the chipboard.

I had such a great time at this event - we had wonderful teachers and such fun projects!!
Of course, getting to hang out with my dear friend for a couple of days
and play with paper didn't hurt either!

I am linking up over at Paper Issues where the theme this month is "numbers" - I
have stamped my date on the calendar on the top chippie - numbers!

Have a great weekend!

Frosted Designs #31 & ColourQ #118

Good Morning fellow bloggers!
Today I have a LO made with the sketch over at Frosted Designs and the
colors over at ColourQ - this LO is about the VERY LAST
care package I sent my DD in college - Easter her SR Year.

My papers are Bo Bunny and Bazzill along with some kraft cardstock. I have
also used Prima, Maya Road, Inka Gold, Basic Grey, Fiskars, Tsukineko, my
Pearlescent Liquid Acrylics and my sewing machine.

I wanted to add more color to my background so I splattered it with pearlescent
acrylic. I also inked my thread after sewing my papers together.
I have painted my chipboard with Inka Gold. If you have not used this stuff you

I used my Fiskars punches for my border and my little stamp here, I also
used Viva Decor for the little pearls I added along the border.

Here is a look at the fabulous sketch I used

And here is this weeks color palette from ColourQ

I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Thanks for stopping by today!
Do you LIKE me on Facebook?
What are you waiting for?!?!?!

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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Gamestop Double-Wide Card Questions

Questions here from J about the new double-wide card at Gamestop:

Gamestop $39 Double Card
GameStop $39 Prepaid Card here have been shipped to GameStop stores across the USA & should appear on shelves around November 1st!
This Double Card comes with:
a 1 Month Subscription at $9.95 or 5000 Crowns
Fantasy Palace Castle
Additional Castle Space Elixir*
Minigame Kiosk Housing Item
Gryphon Mount
Ancient Spear of Power
Epic Clothing Set
Mystery Dueling Pet
*If you already have three houses on your character, you must claim this elixir before you claim the Castle!

I have some questions on the following items, Friendly since you have one.

1) Housing Kiosk - Can you use it to refill your potions at home?

2) Griffin Mount - is this a 40% Speed boost?

3) Ancient Spear of Power - What is the Level / Stats on this?

4) Epic Clothing Set - How 'Epic'? What Level? What stats?

5) How many items can the Fantasy Palace Store inside and out? 250 / 250 like the Crown shop houses?

Ok, let's see if I can answer these for you:

1) Verified. I emptied out all my potion bottles and went to my skull riders game for a screenshot.

Then I played a game of skull riders. And there it is! A full potion bottle.

2) Yup. 40% speed boost.

3) Kind of an interesting weapon since it has a hit of each type of spell class. Check it out!

4) Ok, this is interesting because when I first claimed these items I had to choose at what power level I wanted my new clothes to be at. I really wish I would have grabbed a screenshot of that screen, but I didn't. :( The stats and cards they give are different for each different power level. For instance, the clothes at level 5 give different cards than the clothes at level 50. I almost chose the clothes at level 45 power level because they had a trap or a blade I wanted, but the unique feint card, power nova, and shield card won me over.

Here are the stats for level 50 version of the epic gear in comparison to my grandmaster death gear.

I have no idea if they will add level 60 stats when Celestia goes live or not, but the look is the pvp gear look, which is definitely epic.

5) Yup! 250/250! (Although this castle is so huge it would be better if those numbers were higher)

Hope that helps you with your purchasing decision!

Happy Dueling!

Sierra Starsong said...

Game Kiosk question: Can you change what game it plays, like changing the clothes on a mannequin? If not, did you get to choose which game your Kiosk has, or was it random? Yours has Skull Riders, I've seen a couple of others with Hot Shots and heard of at least one with Doodle Doug so I at least know they aren't all the same. (If I'm going to fill up at home, I'd definitely rather play Potion Motion to do it.)

Johnist said...

Thank you very much, Friendly for answering my question so thoroughly and quickly. I am sorry to say however that the 'Unique' Feint spell isn't all that unique since you can buy a Level 50 Amulet with the same Feint in Celestia, although it does make it easier having 2 of them to stack 4 feints (Booster, Crafted, Regular, Clothing).

Vanessa EmeraldGlade lvl 50 diviner said...

i am raffling 2 of these prizes on my blog and a i need to no....
is it a card with many codes or just one if its just one plz give me a KI email adress! XD TY!

Seth TitanWhisper said...

I heard there was a battle arena whats the whole thing around that?

Anonymous said...

Whats the battle circle in the background of the last picture for?

Anonymous said...

Does the pet give any spells (or will it when it lvls up) and how long does it take to hatch?

P.S. Could you give us a tour of the house? I really want to see what it actually looks like, especially since I'm planning on buying the gift card.


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Tel: 08444 780898 Tel: 08444 780898

Reverend And The Makers

Upcoming gigs

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Reverend And The Makers are the brainchild of Sheffield musician Jon McClure, who recorded the original RATM demos with members of the Arctic Monkeys and Bromheads Jacket. The group uses a combination of indie rock, electro and funk to complete their signature sound, which has earned them headline tours across the UK and numerous bouts of critical acclaim.

New Album Mirrors / release date 9th October

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©Dawson Doupe' | The Glass Vase.
A narrative feature film, portraying the cause, act, and aftermath of a high school shooting.
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The film has yet to be shot, we are looking to raise $30,000 or more to do so. Please check out our PROMO trailer.
The film explores modern day bullying, and how lives are changed with loss and despair, at the consequences of ones actions. To learn more please visit our "About" page.


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Finance Friday: An Introduction

Photo Credit: Personal Finance Blog

Hi, I'm LisaGrace, and I love personal finance.

I wish you could see my face light up when it's time to balance our checkbook. I love forming our budget. I love figuring and re-figuring, until everything is just right. Some may call it a chore, I call it a wonderful hobby.

God created this passion within me, and one of my goals for 2010 is to dialogue all the more about it.

Specifically, I wanted to blog about it because I find it incredibly inspirational to read other financial success stories. Real people, dealing with real money, in today's "I want it now" world-when there is success, it's a cause for celebration! It's also encouraging to know that everyone has a different story and a different way of doing things. I love to be able to pick and choose different methods and try them out for myself-and it's so helpful to have a real example and experience to follow.

So my mission is to encourage, to offer our methods of handling money and to record our successes and our failures. I plan on posting a finance post every Friday in February and March. Let me know if you have any questions, or want to know more details about how Bryan and I handle our finances-I'm an open book!

Next week: The most Important Step to Financial Success

  1. can i hire you as my financier?
    i'm moderately sticking to my budget but i haven't set to the point of a zero budget or whatever it's called..

    and i had a mishap. read my latest blog and you'll see quite a large number of dollars that are out of my hands now. *cough cough*
    retail therapy is expensive...

    moving on.
    i should really hire you though.

  2. amazing. I just love how wonderfully positive you are. God has really blessed you with that. I can't wait to see what God does through your children. Yes, do teach me some more about money. Not soo good with keeping a budget.

    Love ya


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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Until next time . . .
Pugs & Kisses

Monday, September 28, 2009

Kitchen Caper =)

I'm baaacckk!!! I finally got the momma to blogging, but by the time I realized what she was blogging about, it was to late to stop her. Can you believe she's ratting me out on the internet? Where's the love? (The momma apologizes for the not so great phone pictures. When you are trying to catch "guilty" pug, you have to use what's closest.)
Here I am looking sweet and innocent. Asking the momma if she needs any help in the kitchen. See, I'm a good pug =)
This is the portal. The Gate blocks entry to the cat food, litter boxes, trash bags and laundry. The kitties can get low enough to get under the gate to get to food. Lilo's and Maddie's can not get that low. I have gotten under it a few times, but my tail usually catches the bar and alerts EVERYONE to what I am up to.
What is this? Some foolish person has left The Gate down. Could be possible or are my eyes playing tricks on me. Here is my chance to once again try to figure out how to get to the cat dish.

I know the darn thing is back here somewhere!! I always here the kitties eating back here. Where the heck is the bowl?!?!?!?! (The bowl is on top of the house to her right)

Can't find the bowl, maybe I can find the leftovers. At Grandma's house, I get to eat whatever the kitties knock on the floor, so it should be the same here right? I'm sure those three left something behind!!

BUSTED!!!! I can't believe I didn't hear her coming!! How embarassing to get caught and not have anything to show for it. As if that's not bad enough, then the momma announces "If the pug is out, The Gate must be up!" WTF?!?!?!!? Who died and made her queen?

So I must now turn my attention to something better. The open dishwasher =) See, not everyone rinses off everything before they put it in the dishwasher. So every once in awhile, the momma gets distrated while loading the dishwasher and I get the chance to check it out!!

MMMMMMMMM!!!!! Garlic chicken!!! The momma didn't share when she cooked, I'll get my tastes now! That was some good stuff. There's enough garlic left on the spatula to keep the fleas away for months!!!!! Good stuff =)

That blur would be me running when I heard the momma come around the corner and catch me with my tongue in the dishwasher. I quickly evaded her grasp and hid in the pug cave. I'm usually safe there. The momma doesn't invade my space to much! Unless she thinks the bed needs cleaned. Again, don't know who died and made her queen! Next thing you know, she'll be walking around yelling "Off with their heads!"

All that sneaking around sure wears a puggy out!!! I need a nice long nap after all that. But before I start snoring, I wanted to give you all an Uncle Denny Update. He is having good days adn bad days. The surgeon wants to do one more test to make sure his gall bladder really is sick before they operate. Somethign about not wanting to take anything out that still works. I don't know. They gave him some happy pills that I'm sure Aunt Vikki gives him a marshmellow or piece of cheese like we get =) If not, he should start making demands!! So drop by and visit the Posse and keep sending him healing thoughts with lots of love and kissses!!!

Until next time . . . .

Pug Love & Kisses

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Before I get into my Wordless Wednesday, I wanted to ask everybody to send some feel good vibes to our bestest friends The Pug Posse! Uncle Denny has a sick gall bladder and hasn't been feeling well the past few days. We are hoping he feels better soon. Send them some happy healing thoughts and maybe stop over to say hi!!!
Now back to our regularly scheduled blog =)

(please observe the stick in my tail that sent the momm and aunt manda into fits of laughter!!!)

(rockin' daddy's Ohio Stae hat!)

Until nest time. . . . . .
Pug Love & Kisses

Monday, September 21, 2009

Lazy Momma

The momma has been plain lazy lately when it comes to letting me blog. She get home and starts doing other stuff and next thing I know it's bed time. WTF!?!?!?!? She really needs to get on the ball before I start looking for a new typer of the blog.

Do you know what she did on Satruday?? Instead of staying home with me and cuddling while she caught up on blogs, she went and spent the night with the Pug Posse. Can you believe she and the daddy went to see the Posse and left me at home? I was floored that she went and spent the night with them while I slept here alone. How the heck does that work?
The momma says that she was helping the Posse parents and that I need to learn to share. I say she should have taken me with her. She just shook her head and mumbled something about 7 pugs in the bed was enough. There's no such thing as enough pugs!!! =)
The momma and daddy did come home on Sunday and spent some quality time with me (FINALLY). I napped with the momma and then I spent the rest of the night curled on the momma's lap while she read and watched Da Bears win!!!!
In all it was a good weekend. Hope everyone else had a good weekend!!
Now I just have to start nipping at the momma's heels and get her on the ball!!!

Until next time . . .
Pug Love & Kisses

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Party Animals Giveaway =)

Go over and check out Kathy's blog for a chance to win a copy of the Party Animals book to which she contibuted art work. If you can't want to wait to see if you win, you can buy the book here. The best part is that all the proceeds go to A Place to Bark animal rescue!!! Go over and check out Kathy's blog and check out her fun Etsy shop!!!
Until next time . . . .
Pug Love & Kisses

Wordless Wednesday - Petco Addition

Until next time . . . .
Pug Love & Kisses

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Please Vote fur our Friends!!!

We have some friends who are trying to raise money and make a name for themselves!! We are getting ready to place our votes and hope everyone else will too!!!

First up is Sequoia & Petunia. They are competing to be calendar pugs for the Mid-Atlantic Pug Rescue!! The voting is free and closes today, so we need everyone to go vote for the girls!!!! We want them to be calendar pugs like our friends Harry.

Next up is Chester. Chester is trying to raise money for shelters through the Cesar and Ilusion Millan Foundation Photo Contest. Chester is such a handsome pug, we can't wait to see him appearing with Cesar!!! Donation are a $1 each with a minimum of 5 votes. All the proceeds go to help dogs in need.

Thanks everyone for your help in making these puggies dreams come true!!!

Until next time . . . .
Pug Love & Kisses

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Charity Paw It Forward

The momma here. Lilo is sitting here pouting because I have choosen to take over the blog today to post the results of the charity Paw It Forward.
Lilo does want me to thank everyone for their show of support yesterday on the Wordless Wednesday post. She was in fact innocent on the charge of eating Grandpa's Mexican wedding cakes.
Bijou was right. Her daddy was eating Grandpa's wedding cakes and when I said something, he wiped the powdered sugar on poor little Lilo and sat her in the big chair!!! Poor baby =)

On to the Charity Paw It Forward winners!!! We got 7 rescue/shelters and 1 very lucky little puggy and his momma. We want to thank the
TN Bull Terrors again for picking us to play and giving us a great opportunity to help others. So here are the suggestions and the wonderful bloggers who nominated them:

Colorado Pug Rescue - Melissa & Emmitt

Pug Dog Club of British Columiba Rescue -Lex
(I hope this is the right one!! It's the only one that came up for BC)

Under My Wing Pug Rescue - Clover

Walter the Pug & Heather - Smilingpug (aka Winston Wilbur)

Kentuckiana Pug Rescue - Yoda & Brutus

The Last Resort Rescue - Khyra

Northern Illinois Pug Rescue - Genevieve

Athens Pets - Brownie

After looking at each of the nominees, we have made the decision to honor them all. They are all deserving and worthy organizations and we have budgeted to make donations to all of them.

We want to thank everyone who commented. We have met so many wonderful people since we started blogging and feel very blessed to have such an amazing network of people in our lives.

Thank you all for reading the ramblings of the momma and her precious little pug Lilo. We look forward to sharing many more stories and adventures with all of you!!!

Love the Momma

Until next time . . .
Pug Love & Kisses


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Ontario Government Brings the Outdoors to the Classroom

TORONTO, Jan. 13 /CNW/ – The Ontario government is helping young people
learn about the province's natural environment and discover Ontario's great
outdoors with the launch of an interactive website, Natural Resources Minister
David Ramsay announced today.

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Abercrombie and Fitch polos

They are awesome! I really like the idea of making all about cupcakes that simply a great thing to do. I must say that you really caught our attention. More power and thanks a lot for sharing such great ideas. There is always a great thing about this plus the content are timely and one of a kind.

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Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Equal opportunity grunters

Thank you very much to reader Tessa for emailing me with this tip, from Joseph Romanos writing on Stuff a while back (my tardiness, not hers):
The women have been letting the side down at the French Open.

Histrionics, inflated egos, poor sportsmanship it's all been there in the women's singles event. And their standard of play has been only ordinary, too.

The men, on the other hand, have been gracious and enjoy their battles.

Portuguese 16-year-old Michelle Larcher de Brito screamed so loud with every stroke (even drop shots) that her second-round opponent Aravane Rezal complained to the umpire.

Larcher de Brito jumped straight onto the attack, telling the umpire that nothing had been done to shut up another screamer, Maria Sharapova, so there was no way she could be silenced.

...The screaming of some women is absurd. It's an indulgence that should be stopped.

But, as with the ridiculous "toilet breaks" the women keep taking when a match is going against them, tennis authorities lack the will to intervene.

Generally, the women are appalling losers.

Venus Williams made a surprise third-round departure and just couldn't give her opponent any credit, complaining rather that the shock of losing the first set 6-0 had thrown her off her stride.

Then there is the absurd fist-pumping that players like defending champion Ana Ivanovic and Sharapova indulge in after every rally every rally, mind you...
Anyone who watches tennis out there? Can you tell me, do men grunt or fist-pump sometimes when they play? My recollection from matches-gone-by is yes to both counts, however I guess maybe that's ok because the problem is not really that tennis players grunt or scream or fist-pump (Wendy Petrie anyone?), but that women tennis players grunt or scream or fist-pump. Not very lady-like girls!

David said...

I've been to the Melborne tennis open a couple of times and watched at the Rod Laver Arena. Yes some of the women "grunt" significantly more than the men. Come to think of it I dont recall the male tennis players "grunting" at all. As for sportmanship that is hard to tell.....However one of the coprpoate events I attended with some of the "star Players" the men were far more friendly than the women, I even talked to Roger Federer & Andrei Agassi! I dont think the women players present would have even talked to the CEO's of the sponsers. On the whole professional sports people (men & women) are self absorbed, self centered and have a ever expanding sense of entitlement.

Random Lurker said...

Mostly irrelevant, but..

"I came across a line in a newspaper that put the semi-final between the English and Australian women teams in perspective. It reminded Charlotte Edwards, the England captain, about her responsibility towards the main cause: a win for England would be vital in boosting the morale of the men's team as they prepare for the Ashes."

Copy and paste from here.


text:
Rocky Sunrise Bacon and Egg Burger

  • Rocky Sunrise Bacon and Egg Burger

    This recipe was entered into the happy egg co. recipe contest, hosted by the 2014 World Food Championships.

    Print this recipe

    Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

    1. Cover a baking sheet with foil or line with parchment paper. Arrange the bacon in a single layer on the sheet tray, then bake for 20-22 minutes, or until crispy. Rotate the pan halfway through. Transfer to a plate lined with paper towels, and pat dry. Save 2 tablespoons of bacon fat. Once the bacon is cool to the touch, chop into small pieces.

    2. In a large bowl combine the bacon, ground chuck, sausage, scallions, ranch dressing mix, and pepper until uniformly combined. Divide the mixture into four 6-6 1/2 ounce patties no more than 3/4” thick, making sure not to compact too much. Use your thumb to make a small well in the center, which will help them maintain their shape while cooking.

    3. Place a cast iron pan, heavy-bottomed skillet or grill pan over a medium high flame. Once smoking, add the vegetable oil. When the oil begins to shimmer, add the burgers, and cook for 4-5 minutes on one side once a nice, crust has formed. Flip, and top each patty with cheese, then cook for another 4-5 minutes (about 155-160 degrees F). Transfer the burgers to a plate, cover and keep warm. Discard the grease in the pan, and reduce the heat to medium.

    4. Evenly spread butter over the 8 Kaiser roll halves, and toast about 1-2 minutes in the same pan used to cook the burgers. Once golden brown, remove from the pan.

    5. Pour the reserved bacon fat into the pan, and reduce the heat once more to a low flame. Crack the eggs in the pan, and cook for about 2 minutes, or until the whites have set, but the yolks remain soft. Place an egg on each burger patty.

    6. Spread mayonnaise over the rolls, and top with a burger and egg. Serve sliced onions and romaine lettuce on the side.

  • Prep Time

    Cook Time

    Ready in

    5 slices of bacon

    1 pound ground chuck

    1/2 pound bulk hot Italian sausage

    3 tablespoons chopped scallions

    1 ounce dry ranch dressing mix

    1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

    1 tablespoon vegetable oil

    4 ounces smoked cheese (ie. rombol, cheddar, gouda, etc.), sliced

    4 eggs

    4 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature

    4 large Kaiser rolls, with sesame seeds, halved

    Red onion, thinly sliced

    Romaine lettuce


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Our Family

Our Family

Friday, July 1, 2016

4 H Survival Skills Workshop

This summer, our county 4 H has several activities related to the theme "Back to Our Roots."  The first activity was the Tour of Historic Washington that we attended last week.  This week we had a Survival Skills Workshop.  Next week is an old fashioned cloverbud picnic.  The rest of July has embroidery and sewing workshops and a pickle canning workshop in August.  We will not be participating in the sewing or canning workshops because the girls are too young (you have to be 9) for the sewing and embroidery workshops and the boys have no interest.  And the canning workshop will not work out for us because the children really, really do not like the smell of vinegar or pickles.

The Survival Skills Workshop was very interesting.  He talked to the kids about the kind of things that you should take with you if you are going out hiking, camping, or hunting.  He talked about learning to use a compass, searching for water source, food and shelter if you are lost.  He also talked about boiling your water to make sure you kill anything in it that could make you ill.  He taught them different ways to make fire, like using steel wool and a battery, or reflecting the lens of your flashlight.

Then we headed outside where he showed the children a type of plant (I can't remember the name of it!) that can help repel mosquitoes.

And how to use a bag to get water from a plant.

He showed them that Queen Ann's Lace with a purple center has edible parts, along with the uses for cattails (food and fire) and how to find crawdads to eat.

We saw a fish trap that allows the fish to get in but not get out.

Then we headed back inside and made a walking stick.

And some fire starters.

We have never done anything on that topic before and really enjoyed it!
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Taking a Holiday Trip? Protect Yourself From Blood Clots

By on December 16, 2016

FRIDAY, Dec. 16, 2016 (HealthDay News) — Many Americans will travel afar to celebrate the holidays, potentially putting themselves at risk for deadly blood clots.

Sitting for long periods in a car or airplane can limit blood circulation and cause a condition called deep vein thrombosis (DVT). In DVT, blood clots form in the deep veins of the lower legs and thighs.

A clot can travel through the bloodstream and lodge in the brain, lungs, heart and other areas, causing severe organ damage and even death.

But deep vein thrombosis is easy to prevent, according to Dr. Alan Lumsden, chief of cardiovascular surgery at Houston Methodist DeBakey Heart & Vascular Center.

“If you plan to travel overseas or cross-country, make sure you get up and walk around at least every two hours, and try not to sleep more than four hours at a time. Drink plenty of water or juices, wear loose-fitting clothing, eat light meals and limit alcohol consumption,” he said in a heart center news release.

If you’re a senior or have circulation problems, it’s also a good idea to wear compression stockings. They will help prevent clots from forming, Lumsden said.

If it’s not possible to get up and move every couple of hours, he suggested this workout while sitting down: Extend both legs and move both feet back and forth in a circular motion. Move the knee up to the chest and hold the stretch for at least 15 seconds. Put both feet on the floor and point them upward, and then lift both heels as high as possible.

Deep vein thrombosis affects about 2 million Americans a year, and nearly 200,000 die, according to the heart center.

“Symptoms include pain and tenderness, swelling, redness, and increased warmth in one leg. In some cases, a physician might suggest that a patient go on blood thinners or simply take an aspirin before and during a long trip to avoid DVT,” Lumsden said.

People who are pregnant, or who have a history of heart disease, cancer or blood clots should always consult with a doctor before a long trip, he advised.

More information

The American Academy of Family Physicians has more on DVT.

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The Hinsdalean

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Hinsdale, Illinois |

Published Feb. 17, 2011

                                   ASK AN EXPERT

                               AMY HABECK, NUTRITION EXPERT

                             How can people on low incomes eat healthy?

   Eating right shouldn’t threaten even the tightest of budgets, according to Amy Habeck, registered dietitian and volunteer with HCS Family Services.
   But she said it does require an investment of another resource: time.
   “If you can take two hours on a Sunday afternoon and make two meals for the week, that’s great. Or you can take 15 or 20 minutes (at night) to put some things together and have it ready for the next day,” Habeck said.
   Making space in one’s schedule to prepare home-cooked meals will help squeeze out the reliance on fast food or microwavable dishes that are high in fat and sodium, she explained.
   “When you’re starving, thinking about ‘What am I going to make for dinner?’, the fastest thing is what you’re going to do. If you’ve thought that through ahead of time, that will help,” Habeck said.
   With obesity and its related health issues getting more attention in recent years, Habeck senses an openness to change. In under-resourced neighborhoods, however, cheap processed food is often more accessible than fresh produce.
   “Think about if you had to do your grocery shopping at 7-11. This is the position that a lot of people are in,” she said.
   In most of the world, the diet of the poor consists of low-fat staples such as dried beans and rice. Habeck said all would be well-served to incorporate these simple ingredients.
   “Everyone, regardless of budget, should be trying to include dried beans and peas into their diets, just because of the effect it has on heart disease,” she said.
   She instructs clients with a slow cooker to make a week’s worth of three-bean chili or soup and freeze some for later.
   One of her most effective approaches is making meals using items available at the HCS food pantry.
   “Using the exact resources that they have, I will prepare something and have it there for sampling. When you show them that it can be easy and tasty, they’re willing to give it a try,” she said. “I do try to provide them with the first step they can take. I try to give them simple, executable things that they can do.”
   She tries to help people understand that over the long-term, processed foods are not only unhealthy, they’re uneconomical.
   “If that’s your every day, every meal, that’s expensive. And when you buy all of that, you can’t afford fresh fruits and vegetables,” she said. “Instead of buying a box of macaroni and cheese, buy whole wheat pasta and add some vegetables. I think that clients are always surprised that it can be inexpensive.”
   Canned fruit and vegetables are great in the off-season as long as they’re low in sodium and canned in their own juice.
   “You can get the same nutrition from those products, and they’re much less expensive than fresh,” Habeck said.
   She encouraged food pantry benefactors to donate with health in mind, including items such as brown rice, whole wheat pasta or cannellini beans in their generous gifts.
   Turning meal-planning into a family activity pays dividends, as Habeck has learned firsthand enlisting her kids to pick out recipes
   “I took the recipes to the grocery store and we bought everything together. They were so excited,” she said. “Cooking is a great math activity for kids. Getting your family involved takes some of the burden off of you and gives your kids the ownership.”

— by Ken Knutson

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The Hinsdalean and HCS Family Services, which works to
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Gilded Age Heiresses

Posted 4 June 2011 by

3. The Brief Noble Life of a Toothpaste Queen

Most of the Gilded Age Heiresses who crossed the sea in search of a noble title were the daughters of self-made men. One exception was Cora Smith, who married the soap company heir Samuel J Colgate (39 years her senior) and was left at his death a very rich widow – the estate was valued at over $260 million in today’s money.

Cora, when she was still a Colgate

Cora, Countess of Strafford, by Sargent (1899)

She married  Henry William George Byng, the 4th Earl of Stafford, (29 years her senior) at the fashionable Grace Church in New York City in December of 1898. Though he had been close to royalty, having been equerry to the Queen since the 1870s, he had only succeeded his brother to the title earlier in that same year.

Poor Henry, the only image we have is a caricature from Vanity Fair. Sorry your lordship!

The marriage was not to last; in May of 1899, the Earl was the victim of a horrible accident.

A quote from the New York Times, May 17th, 1899:

“The Earl was seen standing upon a platform , awaiting a train from London. When the express approached at a high rate of speed, he suddenly fell forward upon the rails. The decapitated body was taken to the nearest hotel, where it awaits a coroner’s inquest”

Earl Strafford was on his way from his country seat, Wrotham Park, at the time of the accident. Common wisdom of the time was that the Earl suffered from epilepsy, however, first reports from the Potter’s Bar Station  (discredited) had raised the possibility of suicide.

The 67 year old Earl was succeeded by his brother George, as both of his sons from his first marriage had pre-deceased him. Cora had a daughter, Adele from her first marriage, but the Earl and Countess had no children together.

Do you recognize Gosford Park?

Cora became slightly infamous as the only peeress who “placidly wore her coronet quite sideways” during the entire conronation ceremony for King Edward VII and Queen Alexandra in 1902. Must have been a slow news day at the NY Times!

The coronet of an Earl or Countess with its distinctive strawberry leaves

Cora Smith Colgate married for the third and final time in 1903 to Martyn Kennard (only one year her senior), a move “received with incredulity” by the society pages of New York,  They remained together until her death in 1932.

Fun facts:

-Wrotham Park was the site for the exteriors of Norland Park in the movie Sense and Sensibility (2008)

– Also, it was the stand-in for the fictional Gosford Park, which I recommended you see as part of the Servants

Minicast.  The living room, dining room, and main staircase were all filmed there, as well!

-OK, it wasn’t really toothpaste, not until later. Colgate was most famous at the time for this soap:

Cashmere Bouquet, 1872, super famous soap of champions. And heiresses.

2. The Dollar Princess and the Princess of Wales

Frances Work was the daughter of a New York City dry-goods merchant turned financier, who had amassed a fortune valued at $15 million as Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt’s stockbroker – and married into some more money, as his wife was a pork-processing heiress.

The charming Hon. James Boothby Burke-Roche, second son of an Irish baron, had glamour to spare. Though not the heir to a title or possessed of any sort of fortune, this handsome charmer had spent the past few years in Wyoming, raising cattle, fighting hostile Indians, and generally becoming an example of weatherbeaten, manly fabulousness.

The dashing opportunist himself

One of his companions in the Wild West was Moreton Frewen, another younger son, who had captured the heart (and pocketbook) of Jennie Jerome’s older sister Clara. Following his friend’s example, Burke-Roche paid a visit to Newport in the summer of 1880. By September, he had caught an heiress of his own, and after his new papa-in-law paid his extravagant $50,000 gambling debts (in 1880 money!), the pair were off to England to live the high life on Frank Work’s hard-earned money.

Some came for hunting…then found the sport of fortune hunting more to their taste

Frances and James did not live merrily together, though they did succeed in having four children – two daughters, then twin sons. They were separated only six years after their marriage. Irritated with her husband’s wayward ways, Frances tried unsuccessfully to sue for divorce in 1891. When England’s legal system proved unsympathetic, she came to America and obtained a Delaware divorce, on the grounds of desertion.

Unusually for the time, (but perhaps not in this circumstance) Frances gained custody of her children (In Britain, the father was often granted custody) and returned to New York City.

Frank Work (father of Frances) was quoted as saying:

“As fast as our honorable, hard-working men can earn this money, their daughters take it and throw it across the ocean. And for what? For the purpose of a title and the privilege of paying the debts of so-called noblemen. If I had anything to say about it, I’d make an international marriage a hanging offense.”

And he meant it. Fifteen separate codicils to his will reference Frances’ love life – if she had nothing more to do with her ex-husband, educated her sons only in America, and had nothing more to do with Hungarian horse trainer Aurel Batonyi (now THAT is specific), then she would retain her interest in his estate.

Frank Work owned a famous racing team…(horses “Edward” and “Dick Swiveller”)… it wasn’t the racing he objected to – it was the fortune hunters!

Frances’ second marriage to Batonyi effectively cut her out of her father’s will. However, the fourteenth codicil offered to make her an allowance if she would leave her second husband.

It was this divorce, and its attendant publicity, which ostracized her from society. Though she did eventually divide her father’s estate with her sister, she was cut publicly at the Newport Casino, and was never again received into polite society.

The Burke-Roches’ son E. Maurice Burke-Roche became the 4th Lord Fermoy. (How would it be to lose out on a title by three minutes? Poor younger twin Francis!)

Maurice’s daughter Frances Ruth married the 8th Earl Spencer, and you might recognize their daughter!

Great-granddaughter of Frances Work

Frances’ daughter Cynthia is the great-grandmother of the actor Oliver Platt.

Who knew he was so close to royalty? (But I loved him in The West Wing!)

1. The First American Princess of Monaco

American women making it into noble families was not just happening in England. And the very first American Princess of Monaco predated Princess Grace by 65 years!

In 1889, American born Mary Alice Heine married Albert I, Prince of Monaco.

Her path to being a Princess reads like a romance novel! Born in New Orleans to French parents in 1858.  She was raised in the French Quarter. Her home, on Rue Royale, was three interconnected townhomes with a beautiful courtyard typical of the times and area. During the Civil War the family relocated to France, and it was there that a young Alice married a man several years her senior, Marie Odet Armand Aimable Chapelle, 7th Duc du Richelieu & Fronsac.  This made her the Duchess of Richelieu and Fronsac. The couple had one son, but the Duke died five years into the marriage.

Her second marriage was to Albert I, Prince of Monaco. His father was opposed to the marriage so they waited until after he died to legalize the union. Her dowry is reported to have been six million dollars! This union gave her the official title “ Her Serene Highness, Princess Alice, Princess of Monaco”.  In Monaco she was very involved in the arts. REALLY involved, as her marriage dissolved when she stopped to whisper to a composer whom she was having an affair. The Prince slapped her, right there! In public! At the Opera!

They separated in 1902 although never legally divorced.  Alice lived out her years as a hostess in France dying in 1925 at age 67.

Alice Heine, Princess of Monaco

You can catch glimpses of the home where Alice was born. The Carriage House and Courtyard are now available to rent for parties and funcitons. Here is a link if you want to take a peek!


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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

A Belated Plug For Film4's Summer Screen Thingy

Much has already been made of the Film4 Summer Screen event taking place at London's Somerset House between July 27th and August 7th. I've never been so I can neither confirm nor deny the aceness of the experience, but I'll be there to see the Die Hard / Attack The Block double bill on July 30th, and I expect it'll be a ruddy bloody smashing thing.

I have it on good authority that there are still tickets available for The Spy Who Loved Me, The Big Blue, The Apartment, Thelma & Louise, In The Mood For Love, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and the Serpico / Shaft double bill, so have a crack at any of those you fancy.

What's received less coverage is the equally worthy 'Behind The Screen' programme that accompanies the main event: a series of hour-long talks with some big names from the movie world, each related to the main screening that follows it. Joe Cornish will be there to waffle about his filmic influences, Barry Norman will be having a go on Roman Polanski, and John Barry's "musical sons and daughters" (whoever they are) will be discussing the great man's legacy. The full programme can be found here, and includes a rotating image gallery that features this hair / aviators / moustache combo:
So if you've failed to secure tickets to the screening of your choice or are the kind of weirdo who watches all the DVD extras but not the actual film, then maybe Behind The Screen is for you. Yes, you!

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

A Brief Word About Life In A Day

Life In A Day is the ambitious Ridley Scott project in which thousands of people submitted videos of themselves going about their business on July 24, 2010 to YouTube, which were then edited together to make a film about a day in the life of the citizens on Earth, 80% of whom apparently live in North America.

It's quite good (let's say 6 out of 10 good), even though it's basically You've Been Framed: The Movie but with fewer people falling over.
Anyone who's seen Life In A Day can't fail to have been repulsed and distraught by one stomach-churning clip involving a dumb animal being stripped of its remaining dignity inside a horrendous contraption that nobody in their right mind would want anything to do with.

I'm referring, of course, to Lamborghini Man.
Lamborghini Man only appears briefly, but in that short time he succeeds in showing to the world that he's a smug prick with a horrible car and little sense of perspective.

It occurred to me, though, that perhaps his clip had been edited that way: a cynical cinematic sleight of hand deliberately designed to manipulate us into believing that a potentially good and decent chap is a proper bellend. So I tracked down his full clip as submitted, to see if it vindicated him and showed him to be a worthy citizen of the world and not just a twat in a hat.

Turns out he's just a twat in a hat.

Monday, 27 June 2011

Warning: Bond 23 May Contain Chase Scenes

All of us here at The Incredible Suit (just me) enjoy the IMDb "Parents Guide", despite its maverick approach to apostrophes. It's a useful tool for finding out if a film has, for example, bare breasts in it, and therefore whether or not it's worth watching.

I was delighted to discover that the Parents Guide has already cast an eye over the next James Bond film, which has yet to shoot a single frame, and offers the following useful warnings for any parents concerned about its content:
Be sure to shield your younglings' eyes during all that alcohol consumption probably.

Sunday, 26 June 2011

The Week In Trailers

In what may or may not become a regular Sunday feature, I thought it might be nice to gather up the week's most interesting new trailers in a dirty old sack, club them over the head, drive them to an abandoned warehouse miles from anywhere where nobody can hear their screams and subject them to the kind of intense scrutiny and personal violation that I hope The Incredible Suit will one day become famous for. Place your bets now on whether or not I keep this up for longer than one week.

Puss In Boots
I'm terribly sorry but, apart from obvious jokes based on a cat doing things cats do, like chasing reflected lights and drinking milk, that's bloody funny. As long as we're not subjected to gags about hairballs, fleas and genital-licking, I predict good things.

A Dangerous Method

Come on Gus Van Sant, own up. This is you doing another deliberately wretched shot-for-shot remake of a much-loved classic, right? Phew. For a minute there I thought this was an actual film.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

How can anyone not be excited about a film that posits a world in which monkeys have become so intelligent that they can tell us their favourite brand of cream crackers?

Captain America: The First Avenger

So the transform-o-tron not only turns Tiny Unconvincing CG Chris Evans into Superhero Chris Evans but it also reconfigures his trousers so they still fit him perfectly? That's amazing.

I'm going to call this one now: It won't be very good. Not Green Lantern bad, but not Thor good.

Saturday, 25 June 2011

Saturday Playlist #26: X-Men

With X-Men: First Class still bringing home the box office Bacon, it seems like as good a time as any to squirt some X-music into your E-holes.
Each X-Men film has featured a different composer, and the lack of a unifying theme for the series has been something of a disappointment. Where's its Superman march, its Bond theme, its Star Wars fanfare? Nowhere, that's where.

Michael Kamen scored X-Men, tragically being credited as Michael K-Men DO YOU SEE?! on the soundtrack CD, and frankly he did a bit of a shit job: the album is the musical equivalent of a mutant whose power is to make the process of paint drying even duller.

Fortunately John Ottman took over for X2, bringing some serious BAAA, BAAA, BAAAA!! to proceedings, and managed to avoid being credited as 'John Ott-Men'. For X-Men: The Last Stand, John Powell took over, and Harry Gregson-Williams had a go on X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

It fell to Hans Zimmer prodigy Henry (not Hugh) Jackman (not Jack-Men) to score X-Men: First Class, and guess what? He did a FIRST CLASS JOB, ahahaha. Hopefully he'll carry on with any X-prequel-sequels, and, based on this piece of aural loveliness, may even prove a worthy successor to David Arnold should he be unavailable for future Bondery.

Anyway, enough waffle. Time to "X-perience" some "X-citing" "X-amples" of X-Music! I don't know where genius writing like that comes from, honest. I'm just born with it.

Friday, 24 June 2011

The Incredible Suit Is...

Yep, it's the second birthday of your favourite movie blog, unless you prefer one of the others. This time last year I celebrated by holding a sickeningly egotistical poll to find out your favourite post from Year One, then followed it up with a LITERALLY INTERESTING interview with Joe Cornish while he was still shooting Attack The Block, which I don't think I shall ever tire of plugging.

This year, now that I'm older and more mature, I'm not bothering with anything like that. I can tell you straight away what the best post from the last 365 days is: it's this one. And I haven't got any groundbreaking interviews for you either; Daniel Craig's solicitors have put the kibosh on that, thanks very much.

Still, if you want to celebrate by buying me the ten-foot tall Timothy Dalton painting from that shop in Crouch End that Empire were on about earlier this week, feel free. In the meantime, I'm off to the Cinema Ritrovato festival in Bologna this weekend, so expect a lot of stuff in my Twitter feed about spaghetti bolognese.

Hasta lasagna, don't get any on ya.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

BlogalongaBond /
On Her Majesty's Secret Service:
George Lazenby Gives Good Fisting

When the Bond franchise was rebooted with 2006's Casino Royale, much was made of the overhaul the series was given: a new actor as a more serious Bond with fewer gadgets, and a bold story in which 007 puts his love for a laydee before his job. What seemed to get forgotten in all the excitement about Daniel Craig's trunks was that the series has had several reboots over the years, the first of which featured all of the aforementioned 'radical' elements, and occurred at roughly the time Craig was busy being born.

With Sean Connery throwing in the toupée (for now) and the Bond films busting the barrier of believability with You Only Live Twice's hollowed out volcano, it was time for change. On Her Majesty's Secret Service took more risks than any Bond film before or since, and it's all the better for it. The first act plays out like a romantic melodrama (interspersed with the odd brutal smackdown) and culminates in a full on montage of fromage which sits oddly in the canon, but from then on it's vintage Bond action all the way to its shattering climax.

Former Bond editor Peter Hunt directs this sixquel with the enthusiasm and verve of a man who's been wanting to do this job for years, Richard Maibaum's scipt dares to be exciting and intelligent, and everybody else from the cast and crew goes above and beyond the call of duty, taking their work as seriously as the film demands. Well, almost everybody.
Australian model George Lazenby may have the line-reading skills of a sideboard - which was unfortunate, given the effort Maibaum put in to give Bond's character some depth - but his physicality and arrogance work in his favour, to the point where you believe he's fighting for his life with every punch. In fact, Lazenby's fight scenes are the most crunchingly savage since that eventful train journey, and we wouldn't see Bond displaying such animal ferocity again for nearly forty years.

There are three short but astonishing scraps in OHMSS's first twenty minutes, the first giving Lazenby the chance to atone for his abysmal introduction, in which he may as well have shouted "G'day, mate! Name's Bond, throw another shrimp on the barbie etc!". Mercifully, the delivery is forgotten as Bond takes on two thugs which such gusto that it's a wonder his arms don't fly off.
He's helped by some avant-garde editing - the fight moves from the beach to the middle of the ocean in two insane cuts - but it's bruising stuff, and is a far better introduction to the new 007 than his cringing verbal greeting.

Less than ten minutes later, Bond is attacked in a hotel room by an enormous man intent on separating his head from his shoulders. This is one of the greatest fights in the entire series, as the two men destroy the room in 48 seconds (and, coincidentally, 48 cuts) of walloping mayhem. You can see Lazenby's face in almost every shot, and he's really going for it, the lack of a stunt double giving the scene wincing realism. Like From Russia With Love's classic train fight, there's no score over this punch-up, so every smash of the furniture and crack of the chops properly hits home.
It's not long before there's another scuffle, this one quite short but remarkable for its absolutely bonkers crash zooms and bizarre sound effects. Each kick and punch sounds like someone pushing a drum machine down a well, and the mental camerawork and close-quarters action pull you right into the fight. I was also pleased that Lazenby follows Connery's lead in this scene by doing his own Kenneth Williams impression:
Sadly The Lazenbox's fight skillz weren't matched by his eye for a good opportunity, and with staggering short-sightedness he decided that Bond couldn't survive beyond the decade in which he had flourished, and ruled himself out of any further appearances as 007. It's probably fair to say that nobody was particularly sad about that, but instead of taking a further risk on another new actor, the producers settled back into the comfy sofa of familiarity by re-hiring Sean Connery to make a final, flabby appearance in the next film.

Commercially, the reboot had failed, but it was an experiment the Bond films would return to, and when they did, it would be the punch in the face that the series was so badly asking for.

The Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo
Haughty, brattish, independent and playful, Tracy is the most complex and respectfully-written Bond girl in the franchise. Diana Rigg plays her to perfection, excelling in the action scenes as much as in the more dialogue-heavy stretches, and it helps that she does most of her own stunts, having kicked plenty of diabolical mastermind behind in TV's The Avengers. She only comes second to Thunderball's Fiona Volpe in the Bond Girl Hall of Fame because in a fight, Fiona would play dirtier.

The winter sports
Shot from the ground by genius skiing cameraman Willy Bogner and from the air by genius aerial cameraman Johnny Jordan, and skilfully marshalled by second unit director and editor John Glen (who would eventually direct five Bond films), OHMSS's amazing snow-bound action scenes are the first and best of Bond's forays onto the slopes. Only a few sloppy back-projection shots spoil the mood, but for the most part these are by far the stand-out moments of the film's action-packed second half.

The score
John Barry - "On Her Majesty's Secret Service"
John Barry's greatest work? Probably. Best Bond theme ever? Definitely.

Miss Moneypenny
The underrated Lois Maxwell had already spent nearly six films as M's secretary, alternately teasing and mooning over 007, but it was at Bond's wedding to Tracy that she unleashed this astonishing, wordless performance. The complexity of her character is distilled into a couple of dignified tears, a forced smile, a brief wave and the clutching of a hat. Many fans admit to shedding a tear at the death of Mrs Bond, but it's this scene that makes me well up in the name of unrequited love.

The end
Having at last saved Tracy from both Blofeld and herself, and found his own quantum of solace in the arms of an equal partner and a secure future, Bond takes his eye off the ball and loses everything in one devastating second. If there's one scene that exemplifies the risks the filmmakers undertook in the production of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, it's this one, and what's almost as tragic as its heartbreaking content is that Broccoli, Saltzman & co totally failed to live up to its promise with successive films.

And finally: The double entendres are by now becoming so regular that the writers have almost stopped bothering with the double bit:

Wearing traditional Scottish dress as part of his cover as Sir Hilary Bray, Bond is dining with a bevy of beauties. Ruby, seated next to him, slips her hands under the table and lifts his kilt in order to write her room number on his inner thigh with lipstick. Bond momentarily loses his train of thought.

Is anything the matter, Sir Hilary?

Just a slight stiffness coming on... in the shoulder.
FACT: The words "in the shoulder" were added at the behest of the BBFC, who for some reason felt that without them, audiences might think Bond was referring to his steadily engorging penis.

BlogalongaBond will return with Diamonds Are Forever

What the hell is BlogalongaBond? I'll tell you.
Further BlogalongaBondareading here

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Snow Country For Bold Men

I've banged on before about some of the BFI's amazing new DVD and Blu-ray releases so don't make me repeat myself. Just know that this week sees the release of The Great White Silence, which I missed at last year's London Film Festival for reasons which escape me, although they had better be bloody good ones.

When Captain Robert Falcon Scott (R.N., C.V.O.) decided to jeff off to the literal arse end of the world in 1911, he had the foresight to take along Herbert Ponting (F.R.G.S., F.R.P.S., F.Z.S.) (no idea) and his new-fangled moving picture-recording box so that, 100 years on, people could sit in the comfort of their own homes and relive his tragic story with a nice cup of tea and a Hob Nob.
Ponting's footage, silent and tinted, forms this documentary, originally released in 1924 and stunningly restored by the BFI. It tells the story of the Terra Nova's doomed expedition to the South Pole from a first-hand perspective, though it's bulked out by Ponting's observations on the behavioural patterns of seals and penguins, which nobody had yet studied at such close quarters. And while it's mostly a serious document of an historic event, Ponting still finds time for some early-20th Century LOLs:
Those three-month-long stretches of perpetual winter nights must have just flown by.

Hilarity aside, The Great White Silence features some stunning photography - the polar landscape looks like the surface of an alien planet, especially when it's tinted purple - and is undeniably moving as it reaches its bitter, frozen finale. It's also massively educational: apparently there are VOLCANOES on the polar ice caps! The expedition took TWO YEARS! Seals are ADORABLE and TASTY!

This release features a new, ethereal soundtrack and buckets of extras for all you South Pole fans out there, and while The Great White Silence is probably more effective in a cinema with an audience, it's still worth a peep on DVD. Probably even more so on Blu-ray. So peep away.

Monday, 20 June 2011

If Bridesmaids achieves nothing else, it at least gives the divine Kristen Wiig the chance to stretch her comedy muscles, bat her comedy eyelashes and swing her comedy helicopter legs about in a lead role at long last. It also gives me an excuse to post this photo of her in knee-high socks and roller boots from Whip It:
She was Brahbrah in that episode of Flight Of The Conchords too, did you realise that? I didn't.

Fantasy women aside, Bridesmaids will in fact achieve plenty. It's a chick flick that doesn't just appeal to chicks and doesn't assume its audience is full of dribbling idiots, and it pretty much guarantees LOLs and possibly small incidents of eye-moisture in even the most granite-hearted bastards out there.Yes, I'm talking about you, me.

It's not massively original, it's fairly predictable and there's the odd stereotype in there
but where Bridesmaids differs from the usual humdrum romcom bumcrumbs is in its script, co-written by Wiig. It's funny without resorting to gross-out crudity (much - there is a hilarious puke or two), it's touching in all the right places and there's only one montage, which displays remarkable and welcome restraint. Sadly the conclusions of a couple of the bridesmaids' story arcs appear to have been left on a shelf somewhere; maybe we'll find out what happens to them in Bridesmaids 2, when they go to Thailand and all turn into horrible bitches.

The cast are uniformly excellent, with Chris O'Dowd and Jon Hamm holding their own against the ladies (fnerk), and polymath Paul Feig (he created, directed and produced several US TV series and has been acting since the '80s) directs with confidence, avoiding the easy path of churning out an XX-chromosome version of another popular pre-wedding misadventure film currently abusing cinema audiences.

Even so, Bridesmaids is bound to be labelled by some as The Hangover Part II with women, but that would be reductive. It's much better than that: it's The Hangover Part II without the bollocks.

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Lose The Horrendous Cock-Rock And Maybe I'll Be Interested

I didn't live in the Barbarian ages but I'm reasonably sure they didn't sit around listening to this nu-metal shit all day. What this trailer needs is a bit of Queen. Maybe 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.

Friday, 17 June 2011

Green Lantern

Green Lantern was always going to be a hard sell. I'm sure it works fine as a comic book, but when your superhero's powers come from a ring that has to be charged by an unwieldy lantern that's bestowed upon him by a dying alien whose head looks like Red Dwarf's Kryten's bell end, you're going to need a pretty impressive script to carry it off.
But guess what? Green Lantern's script isn't pretty impressive, it's catastrophically dreadful. Earth is under threat from a giant octopus-turd-cloud-creature in space. Why? Not sure. The Green Lantern Corps, a 3,600-strong team of intergalactic rozzers, entrust the safety of Earth to cocky slacker Hal Jordan, the first human ever to be made a Green Lantern. Why? Not sure. The octopus-turd-cloud-creature uses a scientist with a big forehead to help him take over Earth. Why? Not sure. Hal asks the other Green Lanterns for help, what with there being 3,600 of them sitting on their arses watching Jeremy Kyle, but they refuse. Why? Not sure.

Fortunately Hal's ring of power enables him to conjure up any item he can think of to help him. Anything at all. His mind is the limit. Literally ANYTHING. So, instead of a giant wall around the Earth, or an even bigger octopus-turd-cloud-creature with a better attitude toward humans, Hal creates planes, guns and catapults. Why? Not sure.
It will come as a tiny spoiler but no real surprise to anyone who's seen the trailer that Hal eventually defeats the octopus-turd-cloud-creature at the end of the film by saying a nonsensical rhyme he learned 90 minutes ago. Why didn't he do that straight away? Not sure. But yes, evil is defeated via the medium of poetry recital.

Even the once-mighty Ryan Rodney Reynolds looks ashamed to be involved. His confusion at spending months in front of a green screen wearing a unitard only to come out the other end looking like a twat in a mask is palpable, and it's had terrible repercussions for him, as this updated barometer of Ryanosity demonstrates:
Combine all that bollocks with some embarrassingly clunky exposition about Hal's dead Dad, a few unintentionally ridiculous-looking aliens (one poor bastard even looks a bit like The Actor Mark Strong), a baffling cameo appearance by the stargate from Stargate in the scientist villain's HQ (which is helpfully labelled "SCIENCE BUILDING") and countless other examples of inexcusable cabbage, and it soon becomes clear that Green Lantern is probably the worst film of 2011 so far.

If you're still not convinced, here's what the Daily Star's Alan Frank thinks:
 Oh, Alan. Don't ever change.

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Point Blank (À Bout Portant)

Point Blank (or, to give it its French name, Pwan Blonc) was given a limited release last Friday, and by the time you read this will probably have been consigned to the smallest screen of an independent cinema 37 miles away from where you live, so I thought I'd better say something about it before it gets trampled by the mighty Ryan Rodney Reynolds and his absolutely amazing / unspeakably shit (take a guess) Green Lantern.

Point Blank is one of those thrillers Johnny French does so well. I'm not sure why every other country in the world (apart from maybe South Korea) has forgotten how to make taut, tense action films like this, but if everyone could just stop what they're doing and have a look at stuff like this, Tell No One and Mesrine, then maybe we wouldn't have to deal with stuff like, ooh, let's say, Green Lantern quite so often.

The story of an innocent man who has to rely on the help of a criminal when his wife is kidnapped by corrupt cops, Point Blank takes about as much time to explain its premise as it did for you to read this sentence. In fact the whole plot is pretty much distilled into this single shot from the trailer:
Spoiler: He gets trouble.

For the next 80 minutes it barrels through as much action as it can squeeze in, with another shootout, chase or fight scene coming along approximately every twelve seconds. And while the action is undeniably spectacular (an early incident with a motorbike made me do that sharp-intake-of-breath-through-clenched-teeth thing), that's all there really is. Exposition is rushed through lest it get in the way of someone jumping out of a window, and the characters are stencilled in from the Big Book Of Movie Clichés.

None of that really matters though: like a shark, Point Blank has to keep moving or it'll die, as is proven by the slightly rubbish coda. It's slickly directed, masterfully edited, solidly acted by its leads and supporting cast and provides an hour and a half of instantly forgettable entertainment. Expect a remake starring Liam Neeson within the next ten minutes.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Tesco Entertainment Website Becomes First To Recognise The Genius Of David Mitton

Quite right too. The Thomas The Tank Engine & Friends episode 'Percy And The Haunted Mine' beats the shit out of Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil.

Friday, 10 June 2011

Look How Much The Harry Potter Stars Have Changed!

Now that Harry Potter's ten-year journey through the box office is almost at an end, it's time to look back at some of the cast and marvel at how completely different they all looked a decade ago when they were fresh-faced, innocent young squits with an epic adventure before them. It really is amazing what a difference ten years makes!

John Hurt (Mr Ollivander)

Alan Rickman (Severus Snape)

Maggie Smith (Minerva McGonagall)

Julie Walters (Molly Weasley)

David Bradley (Argus Filch)

Richard Harris (Albus Dumbledore)
Bless 'em. Weren't they cute?

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

I'm Sure I've Seen The New Super 8 Poster Before

A new poster for JJ Abrams' forthcoming better-be-brilliant-or-else Super 8 hit the nets earlier, causing small tremors in the nethers of geeks everywhere.

The primary reason for this trouser-troubling was that the poster has deliberately been designed to evoke the great work of Drew Struzan, trading off his connection with the 1980s hits that Super 8 seems to be shamelessly emulating, only with one billion percent more lens flare:
There was even mention that perhaps the great Mr Struzan himself had come out of retirement to do this poster, but upon closer inspection it seems fairly clear that he hasn't. The odd composition, not-quite-good-enough drawings and lack of The Struze's signature pretty much give the game away.

There's definitely something familiar about it though, and that something becomes painfully clear if you watch the trailer. Because every single element in this poster appears in the trailer in exactly the same pose, as if somebody's watched it, paused it every few seconds, printed out a bunch of screen grabs, fed them into a Struzomatic 5000 and produced the finished artwork. Here's the poster again, with those screen grabs plonked on top:
I don't know about you but I feel used, cheated and dirty.

A Photo From Yesterday's Post, Vertically And Horizontally Inverted And Cut Out In The Shape Of The Sun

Apologies if this ruins every subsequent viewing of GoldenEye for you.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

RIP Pierce Brosnan's Career, 1980-2010

Some time ago, I wrote a sad lament to the post-Bond career of Pierce Brosnan. You can read it if you enjoy wallowing in another man's pathetic misery, but the basic gist of it was that it seems like a tragic waste of a great man's talents that he keeps appearing in utter shit (barring the magnificent Mamma Mia!, obviously*). I suppose he was quite good in The Ghost, but that wasn't enough to save it from being ponderous and preposterous claptrap.

Fortunately it appears that he's no longer attached to the abominably-titled Vanilla Gorilla, so, in the hope that The Incredible Suit has the power to remove The Broz from potentially abysmal projects simply by mentioning them, here's what we can look forward to enduring him in over the coming months:

Salvation Boulevard

Brozzer plays an evangelical pastor who inadvertently but hilariously kills someone, MASSIVE LOL. He's made a half-hearted attempt at growing a beard (No BrozBeard will ever beat Die Another Day's) which makes him look like some sick Alec Baldwin / Matthew Kelly hybrid, and he's doing the voice of David Bowie struggling with a particularly stubborn poo.
Nails In The Career Coffin:

Johnny English Reborn

P-Bro appears in the world's least-wanted sequel as "Ambrose". Little is known about the character, but here's an educated guess: he's a British agent sending himself up with all the dignity that Roger Moore displayed when he played himself in The Cannonball Run, and he either gets killed in the first five minutes or turns out to be the villain in a twist that literally nobody will see coming because literally nobody will see the film at all.
Nails In The Career Coffin:

I Don't Know How She Does It

The Brosnatron plays a high-powered businessman (the only role he's played more often than Bond) in Sex And The City 3 this atrocious-looking rom-com starring Sarah Jessica Parker in a role that even Jennifer Aniston would turn her carefully-sculpted nose up at these days. A shot in the trailer shows Brozbox giving SJP a double high-five, which makes me cry. Another shows him holding a Martini glass, and I just know that that Martini's stirred, which just makes it worse.
Nails In The Career Coffin:

St. Vincent
Brosnasaurus Rex plays a hitman (called Vincent) who goes undercover as a priest (IT'S CALLED ST. VINCENT, YEAH?) in order to get closer to his next target. As far as I can tell it's not a comedy, thank Christ, because it could easily turn into Nuns On The Run 2. The prospect of Brozzapalozza playing a bastard is always tasty, but St. Vincent is directed by Walter Hill, whose own career post-Alien is hardly comforting for anyone hoping for a Brosnan renaissance. A Brosnaissance, if you will. (You won't)
Nails In The Career Coffin:

All You Need Is Love
The Wizard Of Broz stars in ANOTHER FUCKING ROM-COM, presumably because he's just right for the part and not because the producers hope he'll pull in a few extra jaded punters still nursing a rapidly-dwindling desire to see one of the world's most watchable actors make a barely-watchable film.
Nails In The Career Coffin:

So that's The Brozfather's career's coffin pretty much nailed shut. Our next subject is Mr Daniel Craig; The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo had better not be a rom com.

*I bet you thought this would be where I explained that that was a joke. Well you thought wrong.


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Cannes Press Lions Winners 2008

Here’s a list of the winners in the Cannes Press Lions, released earlier today. I’ve linked those campaigns already written up here but will update this post as I write up the ads over the next few weeks. Grand Prix goes to DDB Johannesburg for a href=””>Energizer – Don’t Let Their Toys Die.

Duct tape applied in Energizer Lithium batteries print ad

  • kimmy

    Thanks for posting these.