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Listen to free music played by JayBee575

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Blissful Belle

Be Happy, Feel Beautiful

Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Buying Vintage

Vintage shopping can be frustrating. You go through piles and piles of smelly threads before you find the diamond in the rough. But believe me, when you find that treasure, you know it’s worth the wait. Here are a few ways to make vintage shopping a little easier on yourself so you can find that one of a kind piece we all dream about.

Don’t Think Too Much: If you go in with a really strong idea of what you want and how your experience should go, you’ll be disappointed. The best and worst part of vintage shopping is never knowing what you’ll find or where you’ll find it. The fun of it is discovering that unexpectedly amazing 60s sundress amongst the piles of horrible 80s prom gowns. You just have to wait and see what happens.

Stop Judging: Don’t go into a shop and judge it based on your first perusal. The best finds are found in shops that don’t look like they carry anything you’d want to wear in this lifetime. Remember that vintage shops usually take most of what is given to them whether it be a vintage Chanel boucle jacket or a reindeer sweater someone’s grandma made him in the 70s. Give it a chance. You just might find that Chanel jacket.

Localize: I live in California, so some of the best vintage shopping ever is in the Haight area of San Francisco. I could spend days there. But some of my best finds have been at my local goodwill. You don’t have to go far or wide to find a great piece. Dita Von Teese says that she never shops vintage in Paris because she finds her best outfits, like a 1950s Dior suit, in little shops across the Midwest.

Work Hard: In thrifting, it’s pretty much go hard or go home. If you don’t have a day to devote through sifting and shoving through piles and piles of clothing, don’t bother. Make sure that you stay at each store for at least an hour and at most three.

Ignore the Smell: As long as a piece isn’t stained or torn beyond repair, the smell usually just comes with age. Soaking the item in Vodka or spraying it with Febreze usually takes care of any offending scent.

About Mallika Dhaliwal

Mallika Dhaliwal is a freshman at the University of Southern California who hopes to major in the scope of human knowledge since she can't seem to make her mind up about which discipline she loves the most. She knows, however, that she loves fashion, people, stories, and a variety of fine and performing arts, and wants to visit every continent before she turns 35. Mallika enjoys old movies, classic novels, dressing up, tea parties, indie music, European and art history, theater-going, and especially traveling.

One comment on “Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Buying Vintage

  1. StyleRefine
    November 16, 2011

    Love this post. Vintage is hard!

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Taking a break

I am currently feeling really disheartened and disappointed in the reaction of many libraries to the situation with Koha and the proprietary Liblime fork.

So I am stepping back, I am not going to comment on it, and try to not even think about it for the next month or so. I feel I have said my piece, and feel like I have not been listened to, which is fine, but it signals that there is little point continuing.

So I wish you all a merry whatever you celebrate, and a happy new year. I’ll get to bugfixing and coding 🙂

5 thoughts on “Taking a break”

  1. Happy new year Chris, (some days too early… we have almost 15 days for hacking !!! )
    I’m sure 2010 will be a great year for all of us.

    What seems an evidence to me is that we have warned about the consequences, so we made our job.
    I have no doubts that the future will prove we are right. But sometimes being right is not enough, time is needed.

  2. Chris, I agree with you that the lack of understanding is very depressing, and it shows how far we still have to go to get librarians (particularly library managers) to understand the issues.

    I agree that there’s not point in commenting any more–but I hope that a bit more time (and experience) will make a difference.

    Keep up the good work!

  3. Hey Chris,

    Yeah, take a break and concentrate on what you truly believe and are passionate about. Don’t let it worry you what other people do 🙂

    And more importantly …

    Have a great time and lots of fun hacking on Koha!

  4. Pingback: What I Learned Today… » Blog Archive » Explain the Silence to Me

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Fresh Kubernetes documentation available now

Over the past few months our team has been working real hard on the Canonical Distribution of Kubernetes. This is a pure-upstream distribution of k8s with our community’s operational expertise bundled in.

It means that we can use one set of operational code to get the same deployment on GCE, AWS, Azure, Joyent, OpenStack, and Bare Metal.

Like most young distributed systems, Kubernetes isn’t exactly famous for it’s ease of use, though there has been tremendous progress over the past 12 months. Our documentation on Kubernetes was nearly non-existent and it became obvious that we had to dive in there and bust it out. I’ve spent some time fixing it up and it’s been recently merged.

You can find the Official Ubuntu Guides in the “Create a cluster” section. We’re taking what I call a “sig-cluster-lifecycle” approach to this documentation – the pages are organized into lifecycle topics based on what an operator would do. So “Backups”, or “Upgrades” instead one big page with sections. This will allow us to grow each section based on the expertise we learn on k8s for that given task.

Over the past few months (and hopefully for Kubernetes 1.6) we will slowly be phasing out the documentation on our individual charm and layer pages to reduce duplication and move to a pure upstream workflow.

On behalf of our team we hope you enjoy Kubernetes, and if you’re running into issues please let us know or you can find us in the Kubernetes slack channels.


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Rotary makes sharing and caring a way of life

Madhukar Malhotra

By Madhukar Malhotra, 2010-11 governor of District 3080

My Rotary moment began in 1976 when my wife and I moved from Bombay (now Mumbai) to Chandigarh. I had accepted an appointment as a project manager to set up a new plant for my company. Work at the plant and travels to Delhi and Bombay kept me busy and away from home, and my wife began to feel isolated and longed to return to Bombay.

But Chandigarh grows on you, and I could visualize no better place to bring up a family. I shared my thoughts with a colleague who suggested my wife join an Inner Wheel club to make new friend and stay busy. For her to do so, I needed to join Rotary. I was invited to join the Rotary Club of Chandigarh in 1979. My wife made friends with other Rotarian spouses and the pressure to move subsided.

Rotary was different in those days. Attendance rules were stringent and our club leadership was a stickler for rules. Every meeting I missed meant a call or a visit from one or two Rotarians, which gave me a feeling of belonging. With difficulty, I continued to be a member. My wife wouldn’t let me quit!

In 1980, I went on a business visit to Taiwan. I had some spare time and decided to attend a meeting of the Rotary Club of Taichung. In spite of the language difficulties, I was bowled over by the friendliness and hospitality I received.

A year later, there was a vacancy on our board of directors and I agreed to serve as international service director, with the understanding that my main responsibility would be to host a Group Study Exchange for two to three days. Well, should I say that year turned out to be special. First a 19-member delegation from Pakistan to the Goodwill conference made a stopover at Chandigarh, followed by the arrival of the first-ever Friendship Exchange Team from California, USA. And of course the scheduled GSE Team from Australia arrived, as well as a few high profile overseas visitors, including past RI President Rajendra K. Saboo. The Internationality of Rotary hit me full force and I became a Rotarian.

In time, I got involved in all the avenues of service. The feeling of satisfaction in doing good is incomparable to all other achievements in life. Sharing and caring has become a way of life for me. Every day, I look forward to and enjoy the fellowship, friendship, and warmth that comes from the extended family of Rotary.

3 thoughts on “Rotary makes sharing and caring a way of life

  1. My dear Madhukar,
    Your story to be a Rotarian in Chandigarh, and your wife Neerujee made it happen, is fantastic, especially via the international channel of Rotary as well as your own professional classification. Bridging the gap of years, as I do see your involvement in Rotary matters and issues, is indeed mind-boggling. I do observe and I do learn every moment I read your mails, critical sense, detailing and above all being factual as well as logical. I have not known you much, but the first love at sight in Kolkata Institute last Nov, has proved to be a gift of a friend in Rotary in you, to me. We keep exchanging our views and news and enrich, as a gain for both individuals and a fine, gracious and great institution such as Rotary.
    My regards,
    Subhash, Pune 9822068990

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My Rotary Moment from the peace forum

Peace Fellow Anne Riechert speaks during a panel at the peace forum in Berlin.

Peace Fellow Anne Riechert (left) speaks during a panel at the peace forum in Berlin.

By Anne Riechert, a 2010-12 Rotary Peace Fellow, International Christian University

Saturday morning, Paul Knyff shared his favorite Rotary moment with the more than 1,800 Rotarians attending the first Rotary Global Peace Forum in Berlin. Having been involved with Rotary Youth Exchange, Rotary Youth Leadership Awards (RYLA) and the Rotary Peace Centers program for more than a decade, I asked myself what my favorite Rotary moment had been. It felt a little like picking a favorite child. I would like to share with you, however, my favorite moment from the forum.

Friday afternoon, I was almost done setting up my We Have a Dream exhibition in the forum’s MarketPlace of projects, when an  Italian Rotarian approached me. One particular drawing had moved him. An 11-year old Massai girl in Kenya had made the drawing. Her wish was to become a lawyer, when she grew up, and her dream was that justice would be done in Kenya.

Being a lawyer himself, the Rotarian felt he might be able to make a difference. My limited Italian and his limited English, however, made communication difficult, but with the kind help of his bi-lingual granddaughter, we were able to talk. The Rotarian decided to reach out and wrote a letter to the girl, letting her know that she should contact him and let him know how he could assist her making her dream come true.

Although a lot of wise words and good intentions were shared from the main stage of the forum, that small act of compassion clearly manifested to me how Rotarians across the world can build peace.

Peace can indeed be a difficult concept to comprehend, but to me peace is a verb, not a noun. Peace is the small actions, which we can all do, everyday, to reach out and use our competencies, networks and knowledge to assist people in need.

If you are interested in doing more peace related work through Rotary I highly encourage you to join the newly established Rotarian Action Group for Peace or learn more about the Rotary Peace Fellowship.

6 thoughts on “My Rotary Moment from the peace forum

  1. An easy, effective networking tool is the ‘elevator speech’.

    She covers a variety of vending related subjects on her website:
    The Vending Machine Business This site has articles on starting
    up your own vending route, how to work with a locator, how to avoid vending biz op scams and what type of vending machine works the best.
    Business management degrees prepare you for understanding things such as the business end of running a retail store or chain, or
    even just managing a department or a sales team.

  2. Human Rights violations are rampant in many a country of the world. Peace can not prevail if this problem is not address ed.

  3. Hi RWPFs, wonderful to see your guys speak at the peace forum. Congrats. I am a Rotary World Peace Fellow (2006-08) from India and enjoyed every bit of this prestigious fellowship. On Nov. 23, I spoke at the Rotary Institute, Hyderabad, India.

    The speech is on the youtube:

    Enjoy and wish you all the best. Regards Vikas Gora

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Light plays Music under the Sea in the Sónar Festival with thethings.iO

The Citclops Project presents the “Musical Tentacle” in the Sónar + D contest

The Citclops Project presents the “Musical Tentacle” in the Sónar + D contest

Every June, Barcelona feels the beats of the Sónar, the Electronic and Experimental Music Festival.

If two years ago, at thethings.iO we were connecting an IKEA sofa to the Internet to allow everyone to feel the music of the Festival, this time we are collaborating in another project called Citclops. The Citclops Project presents the “Musical Tentacle” in the Sónar + D contest, thanks to the Program STARTS organized by the European Commission, about the innovation and creativity in the technological and scientific field.

The “Musical Tentacle” is a project to sonify and artistically express scientific data used to measure the transparency of the sea water through the real-time broker of thethings.iO.

It only needs a buoy, a KdUINO (a low-cost Arduino), a water-resistant box and thethings.iO. The box fits a basic open-source electronics prototyping platform and communications payload. Buoy’ sensors, which measure the light in the water, are connected via cable to the box. The data generated is real-time transported to thethings.iO and accessible by using a mobile device because of the capability of connecting it to the buoy.

Musical Tentacle offers a unique opportunity to audio-visually experience variations in the transparency of our seas. Are you going to miss the chance to live it for yourself?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

thethings.iO interviewed at the Tech Lounge MWC15

Last March, as you might know, the Mobile World Congress took place in Barcelona. In that congress, Marc Pous, thethings.iO CEO was interviewed at the Intel TechLounge leaded by Sascha Pallenberg. Do you want to see it? Watch the following video:

Most Internet of Things companies do both hardware and software, so they have a lot of work reinventing the wheel. What would happen if each company focus on what they do best? thethings.iO brings to IoT companies a real-time cloud solution, allowing them to make just hardware. So they build the things, and then, thethings.iO connects them to the Internet.

AH! Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

thethings.iO at the IoT Hackathon Lisbon 2015

IoT Week 2015 Lisbon

Tomorrow June 16th starts at Lisboa Congress Centre (CCL) the IoT Hackathon Lisbon, in which The IoT cloud solution is on of the sponsors! Some of its promoters are UNINOVA, FCT-UNL (both Technological universities from Portugal), Zolertia and the IoT-Forum.

The hackathon will last two days and will gather students from the most renowned tech Universities from Portugal and also Europe, as well as professionals from IoT-related labs from the Portuguese and European Industry, SMEs and other academies/institutes. And what is it about? In the IoT Hackathon, teams will develop a prototype of an IoT solution in just 48 hours and then, June 18th the solutions will be evaluated by a group of notables from the IoT world. The award ceremony will take place that same day within the scope of the IoT Week 2015 Lisbon.

The main idea of this Hackathon is to create a new solution that fits into the Internet of Things’ contest. We encourage the participants at the IoT Hackthon to use thethings.iO to connect their things to the Internet. Feel free to create a free account at thethings.iO and find code of Arduino connected at thethings.iO here and more at thethings.iO github account.

IoT hackathon

IoT hackathon

The outstanding media coverage will make the teams the spotlight of the event, which will also gather the most important stakeholders and professionals of the IoT domain, who will take part in the Hackathon.

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Diari ARA: “Towards to a house without secrets?”

Marc Pous, thethings.iO CEO, talks about the Internet of Things scenario at Diari ARA

Towards to a house without secrets?

Last Sunday, 7th June 2015, the catalan newspaper Diari ARA published an interesting article about how Internet of Things is going to change our way of living. It was written by Gina Tost and Xavier Vidal, but it count on the participation of characters such as Luis Corrons (PandaLabs technical director), David Dueñas (sociologist) and thethings.iO CEO, Marc Pous.

Read more

Telefonica and thethings.iO partnership

We are pleased to announce to you that thethings.iO and Telefonica are now official partners, as you can see by clicking here.

Our new partners define us as “the Internet of Things cloud solution”. Take a look for yourself:

Telefonica & thethings.iO partnership

“Companies developing new hardware things currently have a lot to do – design, prototype, and manufacture the thing, build the app, and develop the cloud platform to store the data, all from scratch.

thethings.iO makes a back-end for IoT—allowing companies to focus more on the product and less on the database. Think of it like AWS especially for IoT. thethings.iO frees up hardware companies to focus on what they do best: build awesome new things.

thethings.iO charges 1€ per thing per year ($1,15) for full access to the back-end, analytics, and interoperability features. Our customers pay 2,000€ in licenses up-front when we start the collaboration.”

We are grateful to have partnered with such a powerful company as Telefonica and would also want to thank Wayra and Open futures for this amazing opportunity.

Stay tuned for more posts from thethings.iO about The Internet of Things and don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and be sure to check out our #IoTFriday blog!

How Internet of Things Will Change Your Workplace

Connected workplace

Connected workplace.

Imagine your workplace becoming what we call a “connected workplace.” In this “connected workplace,” your technologies will be connected on the internet and you will be simply be able to share information from one colleague to another in offices around the world. Through this is very possible. We enable companies to connect future office devices to the internet, quicker, easier, and for a fraction of the cost.

We want to explain a few key points in which will help you further understand the offices of the future:

  • Connected access. For example, you enter your workplace and you check in with a personalized ID card. The requirement to use an ID to enter the building creates a more safe and secure environment. In addition, if there are any questionable incidences that occur, emergency services are contacted automatically.

Read more

How Internet of Things will change our cities and mobility

Connected City

Connected City

Today we’re going to give you some interesting ways IoT will change our lives in the near future. According to Gartner statistics, by 2020 about 26 billion devices will be connected to the Internet and thething.iO is here to help companies quickly introduce the internet-connected devices into our everyday lives. Be ready to see a vast change in areas such our cities and transportation.

Your city

As stated by the European Comission, the term “Smart City” is a place where the traditional networks and service are made more efficient with the use of digital and telecommunication technologies, for the benefit of its inhabitants and businesses.

For Example:

Read more

Internet of (Boxing) Things

How to connect boxing gloves to the Internet in real-time

Boxer thethings.iO

Probably you already have seen punching bags in fairs and theme parks with a counter where you and your friends were able to play and to know who was the strongest puncher, right? It was not a connected punching bag, but anyway we are not going to talk about this. We imagined a real boxing glove that enable boxers to record in real-time the force of the punchs! Keep reading!

Our boxing glove has been connected to the Internet through an Electric Imp and some force sensor inside the glove, actually on the front of it. These sensors determine the force, in real-time, that a person uses when boxing with the glove. The data is sent in real time from the glove to the Electric Imp via Wi-Fi. Then, the Imp’s Agent sends it straight to  thethings.iO. In next posts we will publish the code to let you replicate our experiment in your house.

Testing our boxing gloves in Dublin

Testing our boxing gloves in Dublin

The IoT boxing club real-time dashboard

The IoT boxing club real-time dashboard

Can you imagine yourself watching the boxing fight on TV and also knowing the force that has each boxer in real time? Well, it is possible with thethings.iO. Do you want to see it by yourself? Who is the real strongest IoT man or woman in the world? Soon, it will be easily known.

Follow us on Twitter!


text:
Can you help me generate an alpha channel gradient image?

Here’s an extract from a treemap generated by the perl Devel::NYTProf profiler:

Notice the shading on the boxes? That’s done by setting the background color of the box to green, and also setting the background image to one that’s mostly transparent. The image doesn’t contain any color. It’s just an ‘alpha channel gradient’ — in this case a radial gradient that’s nearly fully transparent at the center and less transparent at the edges. It overlays the color and creates a visually pleasant effect. (I didn’t come up with this idea, I saw it used in one of the JIT examples.)

Here’s an example of a transparent alpha channel gradient image (of course, this may not show up well as it’s mostly transparent :-)

The transparent image gets stretched to fit the box, as you can see above. That works fairly well but ideally I’d like to get a more ‘cushioned’ effect with a ‘highlight’, like the illumination was coming from the top-left direction.

Something more like the boxes in this treemap from schoschie:
(Though if you look at that image carefully you’ll see that the location of the highlight isn’t consistent. I’m not sure what logic was used for that, or why.)

So anyway, I want to create a new alpha channel gradient image, but one where the gradient isn’t simply radial.

I’ve struggled with this in tools like Acorn and Seashore but failed. Mostly, I imagine, because I’m very unfamiliar with the tools, and especially working with the alpha-channel in non-trivial ways. There seem to be very few resources that cover more than simple examples.

Here’s an image that contains a monochrome mask that gives a rough idea of what I’m looking for as an alpha channel image. Here darker represents less transparent:

square gradient mask.png

As you can see, I want the bulk of the central space to be nearly fully-transparent, with a fully-transparent highlight near a top corner. The lower-level of transparency should be limited to a fairly sharp gradient near the edges of the square image. That should work well when stretched to fit the variously sized rectangles in the treemap.

So, can you walk me though generating a non-trivial transparent alpha channel gradient image in a tool like Acorn or Seashore? Or perhaps the simplest approach would be a command-line utility to convert a monochrome gradient like the one above into a pure alpha channel gradient. If there is such a thing, can you talk me though using that?

Of course none of this is essential to NYTProf, and I won’t hold up the next release for this. This is pure gloss — but sometimes gloss is important.

4 thoughts on “Can you help me generate an alpha channel gradient image?

  1. Here’s how to do it using Image::Imlib2:

    use strict;
    use warnings;
    use Image::Imlib2;

    my $source = Image::Imlib2->load(‘square-gradient-mask.png’);
    my $destination = Image::Imlib2->new( $source->width, $source->height );

    foreach my $x ( 0 .. $source->width ) {
    foreach my $y ( 0 .. $source->height ) {
    my ( $r, $g, $b, $a ) = $source->query_pixel( $x, $y );
    my $average = int( ( $r + $g + $b ) / 3 );
    $destination->set_colour( 255, 255, 255, $average );
    $destination->draw_point( $x, $y );

  2. I’m confused, and perhaps only because I’m misunderstanding the question. I assume you want to pre-generate the gradient, so that’s easily accomplished with The Gimp. Here’s how I did one:

    * File->New (select desired size and Advanced->Fill->Transparent)
    * Select foreground color desired (black is the default)
    * Select blend tool (“L”)
    * Now, in the options at the bottom of the tool window:
    * Click on “Gradient” widget to get popup
    * Select “FG to transparent”
    * Clock the arrow next to Gradient to reverse direction
    * Select “Radial” under “Shape”.
    * Now, in the image window:
    * Click and hold mouse where you want the alpha overlay to be centered (transparent)
    * Drag to farthest (from where you clicked) corner, and just a little past it.
    * Release to draw.

    • Oh right, and you can modify the opacity of the blend tool to modify the max alpha value at the edges, though this is also accomplished by dragging further past the edge of the image, so that max opacity would be somewhere off-image.

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Adobe Type Community Translation

Today, I’m excited to announce the launch of a new pilot program – Adobe Type Community Translation. This program is aimed at getting translations for Adobe’s typeface notes and will offer handsome rewards for contributors. We will be leveraging Adobe’s own community translation tool, the Adobe Translator application, to get translations for our 400+ typeface notes (also referred to as typeface histories). These typeface notes provide users additional information about the typeface and often include information about the history of the typeface. On average, these typeface notes are about 100 words in length.

Our ultimate goal is to be able to provide our typeface notes in multiple languages, many of which are otherwise under-served. However, for this pilot program, we’ll be focusing on getting translations for four different languages: German, Brazilian Portuguese, Japanese and Chinese. If these translation efforts are successful, we’ll happily make other languages available for translation.

Based on the recent success Adobe has seen with community translation, we’re excited about launching a community translation program for Adobe Type. We believe the type community, although comparatively small, consists of enough individuals passionate about type to make this program a success.  To reward our contributors, we’ll be offering free copies of fonts for which Adobe owns the rights. For every ten translations which are accepted by the moderator for that language, contributors can request five free fonts from the list of Adobe owned fonts (currently totals more than 800 fonts).  Moderators will be looking for translations that use the appropriate type vernacular and capture the essence of what’s being communicated. Requests for fonts and any questions/comments about the Adobe Type Community Translation pilot program should be sent to

The remainder of this blog post focuses on the Adobe Translator application and how to contribute to this translation project.

The Dashboard

To access the application go to After successfully logging into the application with your Adobe ID (you may have to create one first), you will see the Adobe Translator Dashboard. This Dashboard shows a menu at the top and a list of projects available for translation.  If needed, help can be accessed from the About menu at the top.

Adobe Translator Dashboard

Adobe Translator Dashboard

Selecting projects

The project list is sorted alphabetically by product name. Within each product box, you can find the languages that are available for community translation for that product.

To see the Typeface Notes projects you can either scroll down until you see “Adobe Typeface Notes” or you can use the search box on the right side of the Dashboard. Simply enter “Type” into the search box and hit enter.

Once you see the Adobe Typeface Notes project, you can click on it and start translating right away. After clicking on a project, you will see it appear in the “Browse Project” list on the left side of the dashboard. If the project is not yet one of your favorites, the button “Add” provides the option to add that project permanently to your list of favorites, indicated by a blue star.

Adding projects to your “Favorite Projects” list

If you plan to contribute to the Adobe Typeface Notes project repeatedly or over a longer period of time, you can add the project to a list of favorites. This can be achieved by clicking on the gray star appearing in a project box when you hover over it with the cursor. When clicking the grey star, the star will turn blue, the project will be added to your favorites list, and you will receive an additional notification confirming your action at the lower right of your screen.

Translating projects

To perform translation tasks, you can click on the project name in the favorites list on the left side of the dashboard. When you click, the project box will expand and you have the option to see

  • the strings available for translation, when clicking on “Translate”,
  • the strings that have suggested translations available for review, when clicking on “Review”,
  • or the strings with approved translations, when clicking on “Approved.

Translation Screen

On the translation screen, translators can start contributing right away. Just select a source string and enter a translation in the text field. There may or may not be a translation proposal that Adobe Translator is providing with the help of machine translation or translation memory (“in the past, this string has been translated as …”). Submit your suggestion and move on to the next string.

We are excited to launch this new program and engage with the Type Community to enhance Adobe’s typeface notes. As stated earlier, the success of this program depends on the willingness of individuals who are passionate about type and willing to contribute to a collaborative translation effort. For those of you interested in learning more about the Adobe Translator you can access the application. To learn more about Adobe’s other Community Translation projects visit Adobe Community Translation page on Facebook. And again, for any comments/questions about the Adobe Type Community Translation program, feel free to email us at

4 Responses

  1. Derek Watson says:

    Hope no-one tries to be clever and use Google Translate, that could get messy!

    1. Nicole Minoza says:

      Hi Derek,

      If they do use Google Translate it’s doubtful their submission would be accepted by the moderator. The moderator for each language is a native speaker for that language and is knowledgeable about Type. Each submission is first reviewed by the moderator and then accepted.

  2. Ying Ning says:

    It seems the submitted version cannot be modified by the submitter him/herself? We can only submit the revised one as a new version, right?

    1. Miguel Sousa says:

      That’s right. Once you submit a translation you can’t modify it. You have to submit a new one.

Comments are closed.

Nicole Miñoza

I've been with the Adobe Type team since 2002, and am currently the Marketing Manager for Adobe Type and Typekit. I am also the mom of two adorable little girls and a big San Jose Sharks fan.

Source Sans Pro revised and hosted on GitHub

Miguel Sousa · August 20, 2012 · Making Type

New Web FontFonts in the Typekit library

Tim Brown · August 23, 2012 · Fonts on Typekit


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Expressive lettering at the Adobe MAX Type Camp workshop

Type Camp is always a delight, and we’ve got a couple more workshops coming to the Adobe SF office very soon. Meanwhile, the folks at Adobe MAX in Los Angeles got a fun adaptation of the camp earlier this month with a lettering workshop.

Type Camp founder Dr. Shelley Gruendler sent us a neat video compilation documenting the work they did. James Edmondson started the group off with some basic instruction on uppercase lettering techniques, and Xandra Zamora demonstrated a few different approaches to expressive lettering. Then, participants chose words to write three times: the first time to practice the lettering technique they’d learned, the second time incorporating an expression of the word’s meaning, and the third time with the “expression” fully realized in the lettering.

They also worked with different background colors, white and black, to experiment with its effect on the perceived mood. The video, produced by Dreamworks alum Will Seneshen, shows both versions — see for yourself and compare the effects.

If you want to try out a camp for yourself, there are still spaces available in the sessions coming to Adobe SF; or check the Type Camp website for even more in other cities.

Sally Kerrigan

Content Editor at Typekit. Likes biking around the flat parts of San Francisco. Usually knows the way to the nearest public library.

Retiring web font support for IE6 and IE7

Bram Stein · October 22, 2015 · Announcements

Typekit on Squarespace: Build your voice on the web

Benjamin Welch · October 27, 2015 · Type Community


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Thursday, 2 February 2012

Day in the life, Part 8, Day 3

Day 3 – Wednesday

Finally got to grips with the budget! Looked at it last night at home and made a plan of things to look into this morning. Made some decisions which I hope are right. Spent a welcome 30 mins or so discussing with the boss and making sure he agreed that it was now right, and the figures were as close as they could be!! Emailed my excel guru to let her know and thank her for her help.

Plans for today now include tidying my desk which is completely covered by budget printouts!

However, the best laid plans, as they say …

Had an extra meeting with boss to discuss way forward on a couple of projects. Spent a little while perusing MARC records that we had imported for a specific purpose. On closer scrutiny this leads me to believe I have misinterpreted some of the MARC rules – oooooops!

Had a quick look at the ordering figures to see if these might have had an impact on the size of the cataloguing backlog, which is now running out at about 18 shelves and is the most we’ve had for a couple of years. Sadly, we cannot blame the librarians ordering new books, as orders are actually a little bit down on last year.

Ohhhh, hang on I can hear someone shouting for help! …

Ah, shelf being loaded with new books has just collapsed, nearly on top of someone. Hmmmm, shelf and bracket seem to be bent. Off to search for new ones.

The understairs cupboard has yielded another couple of brackets, but one of those was also defective. With a bit of brute force and ignorance and a little help from my friends, I have now managed to put the shelving back together. These shelves are checked regularly as part of the health and safety inspection but obviously, as they are being continually emptied and re-filled they can be a bit more unreliable than the shelves in the library. How to cure this problem?

Anyway, it’s now time to go home and I still haven’t tidied my desk up. Ah well, Monday is another week! (I only work the beginning of the week.)

Post script

Waiting in car for child to finish band practice, I’ve been thinking about creating some notices to put up above the shelving. If I have different wording on different coloured notices and move them around regularly, there’s a possibility they might be read and that might help to prevent further near-misses or accidents. Will do this at home tonight.

That really is all from me this time round!

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Day in the life - Part 8, Day 2

Day 2 – Tuesday

All night-time water drunk. Bad night. Really tired.

Didn’t bother trying to park on campus today. Enjoyed the walk, if a bit chilly!

Straight in to looking at the budget figures again! So engrossed forgot to collect the Duty Manager pager and go to a 10 o’clock meeting! Arrived late to interesting meeting about inter-library loans; much food for thought.

Had many plans for today, but this has turned into a most surreal day! Still fretting over budgets, but I think I may have worked it out.

Today everyone seems to want me to sign their leave card: Is it the sight of the cataloguing backlog that is putting them off, I wonder?

Have sent my congrats and what I consider to be some useful links to a newly promoted member of my team.

Hmmm, as Duty Manager this morning, I failed to resolve a dispute over fines: This is disappointing. Haven’t had to look into such a situation for literally years, so I’m sure I could have dealt with it better than I did. Usually, I get involved in breaches of security, or having to advise people who want to bring children into the building.

Hot on the heels of the fines dispute, I find myself listening to an upset member of the team. Probably didn’t do that justice either, as feeling pre-occupied with unsatisfactory fines discussion, niggling doubts about the budget figures and an overwhelming sense of having too much to do in the time available. Maybe just listening was enough.

Hadn’t realised how difficult it can be to take part in a new staff induction! Numerous emails floating back and forth, but eventually it’s sorted.

Oh, just received a nice floor plan from one of the library offices; apparently they’ve had some move arounds and thought we might like to know where everyone now sits! Bit more sophisticated than our own desk plan!

Oh, someone undertaking NVQ wants to do the cat/class option! It’s great to hear that people are still interested in technical services work!! Better find out what they need from us. Very conscious that the person who used to help people with these units has now retired; hopefully we can find enough time to do this properly.

Have now put all the data back into the budget spreadsheet and it’s looking ok, but will take it home and look at it with a different perspective! Oh dear, having to text child to report I’m running 30 minutes late so he’ll have to stand around in the freezing cold waiting for me!

Day in the life - Part 8, Day 1

Before work
Bedside glass of water untouched: Must have been a rare peaceful night – don’t know as didn’t wake up to find out! Unfortunately, news from the scales was not good.

Registered for Day in the life, round 8. Frustrated by not being able to use IE; had to resort to Chrome. Used tiny.url to create url for blog, but not entirely sure that’s what I was supposed to do, and perplexed as the link has come out in bold. Sighhhhhh.

Spent the journey to work listening to Radio 4, planning my work day and thinking about jobs I need to do after work (despite being a #latenightlibrarian).

Must check on the state of the cataloguing throughput. Must catch up with a member of the team. Have put all my revalidation documents onto my USB; they were scattered on my work computer, my home computer and my laptop! Now, didn’t I read about something in #cpd23 that helped with file organisation????!!!! Wondering if the boss has managed to catch up with the person we selected for a promotion last week.

Humph, no space in the work car park: I don’t usually bother trying, but ... Very cold walk to work has resulted in sciatica resurfacing on one side and hip pain returned on the other. You’d think I was 71 not 51. Sometimes resent paying for work car park when I rarely manage to get into it. Often arrive at work stressed and on the verge of tears – over car parking?? Golly, I’ve lost the plot a bit, haven’t I? Oh well, at least it’s been interesting to see the old Allied Carpets/MFI buildings knocked down and the land flattened, but not sure how I’m going to react to yet another supermarket going up in their place. Also interesting to follow the building progress of the university’s sports centre, after the demolition of the Bow String Bridge. Plans to pedestrianise the “main” road that runs through the centre of the “campus”, while a nice idea, will see me (and probably lots of other folk who come from north of the city) having to take a huge detour.

Tea made. Long chat with team member who was unexpectedly off last week. Chat with boss about one or two things. Cataloguing shelves checked. 18 ¼ shelves. Possibly partly due to one cataloguer being off on extended leave, one taking annual leave to work on personal course, and one being a bit ill. If I get a chance I’ll do some, but do bear in mind that I shall break all my rules and go for the multiple copies, not the interesting, more difficult stuff!

Going through emails. Amazing how many come through, but I get confused because I look at it at home and answer any that are either urgent, won’t take long to answer, or are quick to answer, which means that I sometimes don’t go back over them properly and so miss some of the others.

Ah, an e-book invoice; good, been waiting for some! Oh, hang on, the balance doesn’t look right. Must go and check. Oh, both the people I need to discuss this with are in [different] meetings.

A member of team can’t attend a mandatory course because it’s not being held during hours that match her working pattern: I need to check the availability and suitability of the online version.

Meeting now set up for tomorrow to discuss inter-library loans??? That’s interesting as I work in a cataloguing and acquisitions team!

Headache requires more tea. Arghhhh, now I remember why I never go in the staffroom at this time – too many people, not enough kettles, slow running cold tap, bumping into folk you’d rather avoid ... Bother, left last week’s [soya] milk in the fridge and just used that instead of this week’s. Luckily it looks and smells ok, but wonder what it will taste like? Have now eaten the filling from my sandwich, so it’s bread for lunch.

Oh, it’s now 1pm and I have spent the last 2 hours with one of our spreadsheet experts to see if we can find why I seem to have an extra couple of thousand pounds to spend! Now I have something to work with I’ll finish this off first, before going for lunch.

Now back at my desk doing a couple of odd jobs before I go up to the enquiry desk for a couple of hours of answering queries!

Steady stream of enquiries at the desk this afternoon. The usual problems with the photocopiers and other equipment. People having problems tracking down journal articles (or rather, more fundamentally, not realising it was journal articles they needed, not books). The usual confusion over which floor to go to for which books, misinterpretation of the information available on OPAC, and people not being able to find books on the shelves. Sighhhhhhh...

After a short tea break, I am now going to do some cataloguing! It’s a treat: I don’t get to do it very often, but I’ve had enough of spreadsheets for one day, and we do have a small backlog! Despite telling everyone to take their books for cataloguing in chronological order of receipt, I am going to take as many multiple copies as I think I can do, but shhhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone!

Have managed to get through a grand total of 14 books in 2 hours. 14 books in 2 hours????? That’s a rubbish amount of cataloguing, but I suppose that’s what happens when you don’t do it very often and have to keep checking the MARC manual, the LCSH file and webDewey!! Long gone are the days when I could get through 143 in 7 hours!!

So, hometime ...


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The Evils of strncat and strncpy redux

Following my previous post about the Apache ‘fix’, I was asked what code examples I had showing lousy instances of strncpy and strncat.

Many developers think that because they are using a counted string copy function the code is safe from attack. This is simply not true, you must get the buffer size right! In short, you cannot disengage your brain, just ‘coz you’re using xxxx-n-zzzzz!!

Here’s some code examples, can you spot the bugs?

// Example #1 (code prior to this verifies pszSrc is <= 50 chars)
#define MAX (50)
char *pszDest = malloc(sizeof(pszSrc));

// Example #2
#define MAX (50)
char szDest[MAX];

// Example #3
#define MAX (50)
char szDest[MAX];
pszDest[MAX] = ‘\0’;

// Example #4
#define MAX (50)
char szDest[MAX];

// Example #5
char szDest[50];
_snprintf(szDest, strlen(szDest), “%s”,szSrc);

// Example #6
#define MAX (50)
void func(char *p) {
    char szDest[MAX];
    szDest[MAX-1] = ‘\0’;

I’ll post the answers in a couple of days.

Comments (15)

  1. Mike Dunn says:

    I’ll just post the first thing I spot in each example…

    #1: sizeof(pszSrc) is 4 if pszSrc is a pointer, not a staticly-allocated array.

    #2: szDest is left unterminated if strlen(pszSrc) equals MAX

    #3: Writing "szDest[MAX]" overruns the array

    #4: Misuse of the size parameter to strncat, it should be the space left, not the total space in the array.

    #5: Author of that code doesn’t understand strlen 😉

  2. Carlos says:

    In addition:

    #3: pszDest and szDest are confused.

    #6: MAX is not defined.

  3. Michael Howard says:

    Re #3 and #6 – code tweaked, thanks!

  4. 厚重之刀 says:

    The Quiz #3 Should be like this?

    // Example #3

    #define MAX (50)

    char szDest[MAX];

    szDest[MAX] = ‘’;

  5. Centaur says:

    Should the comment “(code prior to this verifies pszSrc is <= 50 chars)” be taken as “in all these examples, it is guaranteed that there exists n such that for each 0<=i<n pszSrc[i] is valid and not null, and pszSrc[n] is null”, in other words, “strlen(pszSrc) will not overrun and will return a value less than or equal to 50”?

    #1: pszDest might not be null-terminated after strncpy, which might later cause a read buffer overrun.

    #6: If p points into an array shorter than MAX and that array is not null-terminated, strncpy will read-overrun it. Good style would be to pass the size of the buffer pointed to by p.

  6. Lorad says:

    // Example #1 (code prior to this verifies

    sizeof(pszSrc) implies it will be sizeof(void*) – this is machine dependant, but not 50

    // Example #2

    if pszSrc is null error

    if pszSrc is longer than 50 characters the string will not be null terminated

    // Example #3

    pszDest[MAX] is past the end of the allocated memory

    // Example #4

    Unless szDest is empty at this point or pszSrc length + szDest length is less than MAX will cause an over run. The last parameter is the number of characters to concat onto destination, not total length.

    // Example #5

    strlen(szDest) will be undefined, depending on what crap exists in the array at allocation time.

    // Example #6

    The only thing I can see here is if p is null then you have issues.

  7. anonymous says:

    WRT #6, I usually do:

    char a[MAX];

    a[sizeof(a)-1] = 0;

    rather than

    char a[MAX];

    a[MAX-1] = 0;

    …just in case some moron (read: anyone but me) changes the definition of a down the road. Defensive coding.

  8. S. Bala says:

    Since we’re in the mood, riddle me this:

    A computer CPU can process 1 million machine language instructions per second. If a program includes 1000 lines of code and each line represents an average of 10 instructions, calculate the amount of time in milliseconds for the CPU to process the entire program.

  9. John C. Kirk says:

    For #1, I think the problem is that you make the buffer at pszDest the same size as pszSrc, but then you always copy over 50 characters, even if pszSrc is <50. This would then lead to a buffer overrun, by copying random bytes into the subsequent area of memory. The correct way would be to specify the length of pszSrc as the third parameter to strncpy.

    (My C isn’t good enough to comment on the pointer size problems that other people mentioned, or the other examples – I’m a VB.NET programmer.)

  10. Michael Howard says:

    >>riddle me this

    what about loops?

  11. Carlos says:

    What was the answer to #6?

  12. Bryan says:

    >>>riddle me this

    >what about loops?

    And what about lines of code that include CALL opcodes (they call functions)? Even if we assume that the size of all functions called is included in the "10 instructions per line" or the "1000 lines of code" numbers, a lot of those instructions are very likely HLTs, which cause the processor to stop until an interrupt is generated. Likely because the program is waiting for user input, or something similar.

    If the program is CPU-bound, and there are no loops, then the program will finish in .01 seconds. Otherwise, we can’t say much of anything about its runtime.

  13. From: The Learning from Mistakes Dept. A few months back eEye found an exploitable buffer overrun in

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Posts Tagged ‘baby’

I cut Saralyn’s hair this afternoon.  When she has so little hair, it seems silly to cut any of it, but she was looking scraggly.  Saralyn has a PRONOUNCED widow’s peak.   In fact, it’s giving diction lessons to Tom Brokaw.  Strangely, she can grow hair there, and over her ears, but almost nowhere else.  I trimmed up the long bits and, uslessly, tugged on the short bits.  When I was done, I had a tiny tuft of clippings that was smaller than a cheap cotton ball.  A tiny amount of hair.  But it makes a great difference.

Tony came home from work just as I was finishing up.  I was combing the child’s hair out and Tony scoffed at my need for a comb.  Saralyn just looks like a little boy most of the time.  She needs some hair.  At least I don’t have to hold her down to wrestle out the tangles like I do with Eleanor.  Oh well, win some loose some.

Read Full Post »

The Britches of Saralyn County

Saralyn has revealed her silly baby trick: she can take her pants off while swaddled.

If you don’t know how to swaddle a baby, imagine making a blanket burrito with the baby as the meaty filling.  The key to a good and useful swaddle is making sure the baby is tucked up in such a way at to keep the limbs from flapping around.  The baby is warm, tight and secure.

So, color me so surprised to find that Saralyn can get her pants OFF while swaddled.  I think it has to do with her bottom, or lack there of.  She has a condition sometimes referred to as noassatall, and symptoms include sagging britches, and losing coins out of one’s pockets.  Yep, a total lack of caboose.

It’s like when you want to go to bed in the sweatshirt you are wearing, but don’t want to undress and remove your bra and then redress.  So you pull one arm in to your top, wiggle around, think a magic thought and the pull the bra out of the other sleeve.  THAT’s simple enough to do and understand, but, Saralyn does it with her pants.  And she’s 4 days old.  Wow.

Her diapers, however, are still cooperating within the swaddles.  Perhaps the diapers stay put, while the pant migrate, because Saralyn makes her own Gorilla Glue to keep ’em stuck solid.

Nevertheless, it’s now the running joke: Are her pants off or on? Unwrap and see.

Read Full Post »

Even more…

Well – That’s an hour of my life I will never get back.  At least I can say the hospital paperwork is done for now.  I bet if you took all of the paperwork that goes with having a kid at this hospital and started making paper origami cranes, you’d be up to your neck in duck sauce in short order.  How ever did women manage to have babies before the insurance age?

That was the bulk of our visit today.  The truly important stuff came in the last 10 minutes when meeting with the anesthesiologist.  He did make a big point of promising that there would be an anesthesiologist, and not an anesthetist, performing my epidural tomorrow.  Big difference, or so I am led to believe by the doctors reassuring head nod.  Perhaps I’ll look that up some day.  I assume that one is an MD, and the other is less credentialed.  It doesn’t matter much to me, just so long as SOMEONE with a big needle full of painkiller shows up.

Nevertheless, he went over my medical history and gave me my marching orders:

  • No food or water after midnight.
  • Be at the Women’s center at 7am.
  • They’ll spend some time put a line in my arm, where they will pump me full of fluids.
  • I’ll be given several pills and potions  that will keep me fat, dumb and happy from barfing and passing out when it’s time for the epidural (when you are all numb and stuff, your blood pressure drops and you get some nausea and so on).

He also warned me that I would not be able to cough effectively.  As you may know, an epidural numbs one from the chest down.  But what I learned today was that the only reason you can still breath is because the nerves that run your diaphragm come off your neck, not out of your chest.  The doc said that about 85% of breathing is diaphragm driven.  Coughing, however, requires more help from the other muscles of the ribs and abdomen,  which won’t work so good for me tomorrow.  Good to know.  Perhaps I should have asked him what to do if I can’t breath due to gloppage…

After that, there was the drawing of much blood and a see you tomorrow.

I guess we are ready.  I hope we are.  I’m a bit nervous still.  A friend said to me today, “The second time is scarier, ’cause you didn’t know what to expect the first time.”  He’s right, in a way.  But this really seems like a first time, as it is all soooooo different from last time.  It’s the second first time again.  How do I score that?

BTW, I’m feeling a bit better with the cold today, thanks for asking.  I think a few more days of easy rest and soup will set me right as rain.  Oh, wait.

More tomorrow.  I guess we are taking the laptop to the hospital with us.  I may even blog tomorrow night!  Thanks for all the good wishes and prayers.

Read Full Post »

I’m having a baby. Soon. Two weeks from today in fact.

Last time, things went great, till the very end, then there was a complete lack of amniotic fluid just past my due date, then 4 days of labor and a c-section. In case you can’t guess, it sucked out loud. I don’t recommend it.

So, to allay my fears, the great midwives who are taking care of me gave me an ultrasound today to check my fluid levels (sort of like my Honda – after all there was a dipstick of sorts). In short, all is well. The nurse says I have great pockets of fluid, and that was really all we wanted to find out from today’s ultrasound sneaky peak.

When things are going well with the baby, the tech wants to be chatty and share. (When the news is not great, however, the wandslinger is always tight lipped. There’s nothing like being astride the stirrups, and knowing from the look on the face of your technician that your cycle is not going well, no joy this month, that will be $400 please… But I digress back down a maddening path from the past.) Today, the nurse pointed out the usual: baby knees are here, back is here, that’s some practice breathing there and the heart’s all a flutter down this way, and, see this, there’s a lot of hair.

Wow… Hair!

Not to be dumb or anything, but I was so surprised by HAIR. Eleanor was born with a fine head of hair, so it didn’t seem unreasonable that the new baby might just ALSO have hair. But. I hate to say I hadn’t given it much thought. I’ve been almost NOT thinking about this baby’s features. Tony and I blue skied a lot about how Eleanor would turn out when we were pregnant the first time; His nose and her ears? Heaven forbid! Her nose and his ears, ah, now that is a better combo – less aardvarkish at least.

I feel kind of guilty that I haven’t spent much time daydreaming about meeting this second child. The thought that she will be born with hair comes as a shock, and now my curiosity is all bubbling to the surface. Will she look like Elly? Will she look like that afore mentioned aardvark? She’s becoming so real now, I just can’t wait to meet her.

So, the ultrasound technology tells me that the little person I will greet in just two weeks will possess girl parts and hair. It seems like so much to know before the baby actualy is born, but also such the tip of the iceberg. Some would say I have spoiled the last great mystery about life by knowing the gender of the baby before it is born, but I think there’s a million other little mysteries for which we will have to await resolution: Will she like raisins? What side of the bed will she want to sleep on? Can she sing? Cats or dogs? Beatles or Rolling Stones? Ketchup or mustard? Coke or “get out of my house with at high fructose corn syrup nasty!”?

I know so little. And I have a lot of learning to do. Again.

Read Full Post »


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Reasons My Children Get Out of Bed at Night

I have been keeping track of their excuses for a solid year now – writing them down and chuckling insanely to myself at yet another doozy. You have to laugh or you’d cry, right?

So here are a few of my favorites:

The list of why my children get out of bed at night..

My feet fell asleep.

Where’s my car?

Isn’t this stuffed animal cute?

Is this doll mine or my sister’s?

My eye is really itchy.

I bumped my ear walking around my room.

My bottom itches.

My legs fell asleep.

I want to change my doll’s name to Isabelle.

I keep feeling the bed move.

My sister kneed me in the back.

Can I eat what you’re eating?

We want to get our baby dolls.

My sister peed on my stuffed animal.

I had to tell you I went to the bathroom three times.

We were measuring ourselves, and I think my sister is taller than I am.

We were doing knock-knock jokes and my sister mentioned kidnapping and now we’re scared.

Can we wear all of this underwear?

I can’t find Teddy.

I saw the suitcase move.

I went poop!

We can’t find our blanket.

I have hiccups.

My tongue has a bump.

Where’s my ring?

What are you watching on TV?

And, last but not least, the finally honest, blunt approach:

It’s boring upstairs.

Here is a list of books you absolutely should NOT read.  Only a FOOL would read these books!  I’ll tell you why!  You can even click on the titles in bold to see what all the reviewers say about these DANGEROUS books!

The 12th Girl in Heaven

This book has kissing in it – and the couple does it because they’re dared to do so by a sorority! What is this teaching your college student?! Also, the book contains depictions of unwanted showers! I was horrified!

Teenage guy visits a church for the first time and feels like puking! What a message to give your teens going to church! Also there are sermons with passages from Isaiah! Who even understands Isaiah anyway? Plus, the blonde on the cover isn’t even an angel. What a rip-off!

Just too creepy. First girl doesn’t work out for the moody stalker guy. So he finds a second girl who looks like the first and tries again…

The Hotline GirlTheHotlineGirl_1850

The heartthrob is a burn victim, while the actual good-looking guy is an egotistical pervert. Who wants to imagine the kiss scene including a guy without lips? *shudder*

2D - CopyLucent Sylph

A boy keeps an unclothed female alien in his room as a pet! So indecent!

Dashwood Avenuedashwood

It has teenagers running through a grocery store being chased by a guy with a gun! Too scary for your kids! Also, a girl gets called by the name of a vegetable the whole book! Just insulting!

astoundebookAstound: Cultivating a Wonder and Love for God in Your Kids

And this one’s the very worst!  It calls your young sweet children wicked sinners! My poor innocent baby’s self-esteem!  Don’t read it!  Don’t be a fool!

If Your GPS had a Personality Type…

If your GPS system had a Myers-Briggs personality type, she would say this:nokia-own-voice

ESTJ: You will arrive at your destination faster than everyone else in a burst of efficient machoism.

ENTJ: Pass the sucker on your left. It is probably an old lady who needs to eat your dust.

ENFJ: In 400 feet, stop and feed the homeless.

ESFJ: If you arrive late and make me look bad, I will never work for you again.

ISFJ: On your right, you will pass a building that has fond memories for me. Let me tell you about my childhood while you drive.

ISTJ: In 2.6543 miles, you will make a 75 degree angle to your left. In 2.6542 miles, you will make a 75 degree angle to your left. In 2.6541 miles…

INTJ: The route guidance wishes she could have planned these roads better. Do not take the Frontage road because it is badly designed by a nincompoop.

INTP: I will be completely silent and zone out and hope you do not miss a turn while I plan up your next route.

INFP: In a quarter of a mile, stop and park on the right. Please look up at the stars and enjoy them before continuing on your way.

INFJ: I will now provide an epic soundtrack for you to regale yourself with and use to daydream until the next direction is needed.

ESTP: I refuse to work in anything other than a motorcycle. Why are you in this lame minivan?

ISTP: I will shut up because you have a feeling you know your way around better than I could ever tell you.  And your journey will be far more amusing than following my directions.

ISFP: The architecture, on your left, is stunning. Please enjoy the buildings around you for their beautiful windows and lattices.

ENTP: I will now take you on a detour while you talk to the passenger next to you. You did not need to be anywhere on time anyway.

ENFP: Commencing dropping windows, raising music volume, and encouraging you to wave at other drivers. This will better the world.

ESFP: Do you look cute? Does my voice sound cute? Do you drive a cute car? Oh, I hope the car is clean.

If a Bird Pooped on You…

Well, when I finish one book, I immediately start the next.  😀  That’s because, while
writing the end chapters on the last book, I’m already scheming the next one.

I have to write something different every time.  I’m not usually a series sort of gal.  I have to have variety and try new things.  But THIS time I’m going to attempt a trilogy.  A sci-fi trilogy.  A SUPERHERO sci-fi trilogy.

I’m scared.

Not sure I can do this!  It’s going to take me a while, and I only have three chapters rough-draft-written at this point.

But, thanks to Janeen Ippolito, a fellow author acquaintance of mine, I got to ask some great awkward questions of my new characters, in order to truly get to know them inside and out.

To introduce you to them, book 1 (or perhaps the trilogy itself) is going to

Olivia and Slater

Slater and Olivia

be called The Depressers.  My superhero, Slater Khaven, is going to be an average computer software engineer with no special powers other than his sarcastic wit.

His girlfriend, the elusive, amazing, talented, savvy, tough as nails Olivia Gold, is actually dead by house fire at the very beginning of the book.  (No, no.  I didn’t get this mixed up with Heartsick!) and you learn, in flashbacks, what she was like and how she prepared and shaped Slater to be the superhero that he will be.

In a fit of sentimentality, Slater puts on Olivia’s contact lenses, the only surviving memento he has of her, and discovers a whole world only his girlfriend knew existed – of enemies he must fight.

In Myers-Briggs terms, Slater is an ISTJ.  Olivia is INTJ.

Here, I ask them super awkward questions.  😀

1. Would they wear the same clothes two days in a row?

Slater – Um… what’s wrong with that? I thought it was when you hit day 5… or wait. Was it day 7? that you had to change your clothes. Oh grief. Now all the ladies are going to think I’m gross. I DO change my boxers every three days. Or maybe every other. I don’t remember! I’m a bachelor and finally on my own! Do I HAVE to care? Man alive!”

Olivia – “Eh. I try. Sometimes I’m really busy and just can’t. I don’t sweat. I don’t stink. I’m practically perfect like that. Plus, my stuff’s all leather and nylon. That stuff breathes well. And I work at night. Yo, why are you asking about my clothes anyway? It’s none of your beeswax, idiot.”

2. What would they do if a bird pooped on them?

Slater – says every euphemism he knows under his breath. Makes sure not to actually curse, because he’s a Christian, but says everything else that’s as close to cursing as he can get. Scrubs it off with his hand… “Now wait, RJ. Come on! THEN I would change my clothes! You’re destroying my reputation here.”

Olivia – Would burn the outfit. Or at least throw it in a dumpster as far away from her house as possible. Probably shoots the bird.

3. What would they do if they ended up with an unexpected pregnancy?

Slater – Goes into a reclusive state for a few weeks where he doesn’t eat or sleep and thinks through every aspect of his future and mourns the loss of his dreams. Then emerges and responsibly cares for his child. Ends up being a great and involved dad.

Olivia – Doesn’t agree with abortion, but is tempted by it. In a hardened state of mind, refers to the baby as “It” and “fetus” and assumes she’ll miscarry because she keeps up her nightly “crime-fighting.” Delivers the baby safely and becomes a total over-protective, nurturing sap. Growls at anyone who tries to touch her child.

4. Do they have any addictions?

Slater – “*sigh* Probably TV. Oh, and Girl Scout cookies. Star Trek… Oh, I’m definitely addicted to coffee. The internet? Gaming. Yes, gaming. Wow, I think I tend to be an easily-addicted person…”

Olivia – “My job. And Slater.” *huge grin that is strangely evil looking*

Slater – “Man alive. I would’ve said you, Olivia. I would’ve. I didn’t know we could list people. You know you’re my world…”

Olivia – *holds out a taser*

Slater – “No. Put that down, baby. DOWN, girl.”

5. Who would they die for?

Slater – “Anyone. I’d love to be a hero. Honestly, I’d die for a stranger on a bus if I needed to. I’d like to think that’s in my nature. My brother’s in the military, and I can be a quiet hero over here in Seattle.”

Olivia – “Anyone. It’s my life purpose, and I have a feeling it’s going to happen someday anyway. Being a protector is what I was born to do.”

Weird Facts About RJ Conte

Hello friends and readers!

Are you guys getting excited for Heartsick?  I am!  IMG_1227It’s my longest book – at over 80,000 words, and it’s currently getting a cleaning up.  After editing, I hope to have this baby out to you sometime January-February of next year.  I have a love for young people – especially Christian, homeschooled, “worldly-naive” young people.  Because I was one of them!  I hope my heart shows in Heartsick, which is a romantic suspense for 18+.  I love you guys, and your hearts mean a lot to me.  I hope God uses this book in each of your lives.  ❤

I thought, as a little addition, I would put out five interesting facts about the author.  I hope that getting to know me interests you more in my books, and helps us be friends even more.  Please leave any of your own questions in the comments, and I’ll answer them if I can!

  1. I used to play softball and tennis.  I am NOT sporty, and was always a mediocre player in softball, but tennis I truly enjoyed.  I have good memories of softball, however, because I got to be on a team.  I’m 100% extroverted, and just loved the aspect of having a group of girls all rooting for eachother and working together.  🙂  I used that time to evangelize, make friends, and pray for the girls.  It was pretty special, even if I was stuck as an outfielder because my actual playing skills were so-so.  😛
  2. I taught piano for ten years, taking a break when we moved to the pacific northwest in March of 2014.  I’ve recently taken up IMG_0559teaching again as my two daughters begin piano lessons with me.  🙂  Teaching piano kept me sane for the very lonely hours of writing I spent every week as a young adult.  I had to have people time to balance out the alone time.  Piano teaching was a joy, and I never got tired of it.  🙂
  3. I think in full sentences.  This lends itself to writing, of course.  But, also, whenever anyone asks me, “What are you thinking?” I can spew it out in complete paragraphs at a moment’s notice.  I don’t think my brain is actually all that artistically creative.  It’s very black and white and neat and orderly.  Boxes of all sizes and black and white sentences.  At least synesthesia helps bring some color to my brain.  🙂
  4. I respond to almost all of life with deep feels and obsessive thought.

    I even eat COOKIES passionately!

    Very few things don’t matter to me, and I feel strongly about everything (which can be exhausting).  I get attached to people and objects and houses and places and things very easily.  When I was younger, I was in a homeschool biology class where we took… mosquitoes?  They were bigger than mosquitoes, but they had wings… and we attached them, with clear nail polish to a microscope slide.  After class, I asked if I could take mine home.  I called him Dead Fred, carried him with me everywhere

    Me pretending to be a death-loving Goth while researching and writing Angel-Lover (see side bar of this page for url to Amazon)

    and petted him like a pet.  I stroked him so much, his head fell off, and I, still, to this day, in a box at the back of the closet, have a broken slide with a headless bug on it.  Someone should’ve given me a real pet.  Seriously.  It was pathetic.  I met new neighbors, the Hebdens, for the first time by shoving my bug at them and saying, “This is Dead Fred, my pet.”  It’s amazing Jennifer Hebden and I became best friends after that, and that she and her family didn’t run screaming. Yeah, I would NEVER be able to keep a Lucent Sylph alive…

  5. I read a quote about someone “not quite being in love, but having a tender curiosity,” and I would say that is my outlook on the entire world.  I don’t fall in and out of love easily or anything, and I’m IMG_0156happily married, but I feel a loving, tender curiosity for all people – including you reading this now!  Please leave me a comment so I can get to know you.  🙂

I should also have news for you, in a bit, about The Hotline Girl and The 12th Girl in Heaven, both of which were picked up by, the publishing house, and should be out on the market again next spring – with brand, spanking new covers!  Excited to share!

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to Endless Videos of Your Children on Facebook

It’s summer, and my brain’s on vacation.  I’ve got another serious post in the works, but it’s just not ready yet.

In the meantime, let’s stick to Myers-Briggs humor.  Always a hit.  😀  ALL IN FUN, PEOPLE!  No offense here.  This is just for laughs!  😀

Little Johnny can say his ABCs.  Emma has learned to count in Spanish.  You post a video of each.  Why not?  We all do it.

But wait!  The very next day, Johnny has miraculously begun to speak Latin fluently, and Emma has started performing open-heart surgery on patients at the local hospital!  All at the tender age of seven and eight!  You just have to post again.  Six videos in a row won’t make your Facebook friends run like they were escaping a zombie apocalypse, right?  I mean, come on!  These videos are dynamite!

Here’s how your friends are responding, according to their Myers-Briggs type:

ESFJ – Posted the six videos of her kids to begin with!

INFJ – Has five minutes to upload a piece of art to Instagram, and then is private-messaging five people he’s having personal conversations with.  Doesn’t have time for your video at all, but has opened a tab to view later.  It makes him feel like a good friend, even though he’ll probably actually never watch the video.  He clicks “like” anyway.

ENFJ – Finally finds a library where she has Internet access.  Gets online and is confused by the new Facebook changes.  Sees nothing on her newsfeed but an inflaming political post from her third cousin.  Realizes, yet again, that she hates Facebook, she leaves.  Never sees your video, and wonders why you can’t email her the 385MB files personally so she doesn’t have to go find them.

ISFJ – Watches all of the videos faithfully, liking every single one, but leaving no comments.

ESTJ – Watches two of the six videos, and makes a wisecrack about your funny-looking pants in one scene.  Later comments your lungs must be getting worse because he can hear your breathing in every video.  How is your asthma?

ISTJ – Comments on a profile picture you have of yourself and says, “Nice hair.  How are the kids?”  You mention that you recently posted videos, and you gush, gush, gush about how he has to go watch them.  You never hear back from him.

INTJ – Clicks, “See less from this person.”

ENTP – Finds that ONE time Buzzfeed posted to your page without your permission, letting everyone know you took a “How hot are you?” quiz.  Likes that post and comments about an old movie she saw once where the word “hot” was actually an alien code word for an invasion.  Gives you the plot details.  You don’t reply.

INTP – Never uses his Facebook account.  Occasionally posts a one sentence status about work.  You are confused and can’t decipher it.

ENTJ – Says, “This is awesome” on one of the videos, and has already assessed what college your kid should go to and what career track would be right.  Says he is open to discussing it with you, but then vanishes offline for a week to go be productive.

ISTP – Comments on your choice of music in one of the videos.  Wants to discuss bands, and which song artistically goes with which selfie of herself she has recently posted.

ESTP – Comments, “Should be outside instead!  You’re keeping your kids cooped up doing academic things during summer?  Let them be kids, by golly!  They’ve got plenty of time to sit in school.  Seven years old and already your forcing her to study brain surgery?  Get a life, ESFJ!”

INFP – Emails you privately saying, “You’re a great mother.”  Never comments publicly on anything.

ISFP – Begs for more videos of you instead.  Writes with a lot of emoticons. “This is great and all, but I want to see more of YOUUUUUU!  🙂  🙂  🙂  ❤  Lol!!!  ❤  Remember how cute you were at Hannah’s wedding?  OMW!  OMG!”  You smile and *blush*, but are confused as to what that has to do with your kids.

ENFP – Is too busy posting pictures of her own kids’ various stitches to have time to watch videos.  Current status: “Next ER visit, here we come!”

ESFP – Does not have a Facebook account at all.  Is out living a real life.  Just appears in everyone else’s pictures with perfect hair.

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Would Respond to a Visit from an Alien

Oh yes, it’s me again with more stereotypical Myers-Briggs humor.  Leave me a comment with your type and your thoughts!

Don’t forget to sign up for my Facebook party here!

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Would Respond to A Visit from an Alien

ESFJ: Do you need adopting?  I’m going to run you through some psychoanalyzing first, to make sure you don’t hurt any of my family, but then I’ll take you in and make you call me mother.

ISFJ: Let’s all hide in the basement and protect ourselves, but I will subtly go sneak it food once in a while. Can’t let it starve.

INFJ: Cool!  Can you tell me your life story so I can write a book about you and get attached to you and never let you go?

INFP: Tell me all about the worlds you’ve seen and conquered.

ENFP: Take me in your spaceship with you so I can see the worlds you’ve seen and conquered.

ENTJ: Take me with you in your spaceship so I can personally conquer the worlds you’ve seen.

ISTJ: You don’t exist.  This is an illusion.

ESTJ: You don’t exist.  This is an illusion.  But, just in case, I’m going to try shooting you with this rifle a couple of times.

ENFJ: Can I help you find what you’re looking for on our planet?  I know a lot of people in congress, at the grocery store, in the military, at the pet store, in D.C., at the bookstore… I know a lot of people.

ESFP: Can you kiss me so I can see what an alien smooch feels like?

ESTP: I want to just take one spin in the spaceship.  How fast can it go?

ISTP: Don’t tell anyone we have this relationship.  I have a reputation to uphold, and I don’t want to look soft.

INTP: When you die, I’d like to dissect you.

ENTP: Let’s just cut off an arm and dissect you now.

INTJ: Let’s plot to overthrow the earth’s government together.

ISFP: I will be depressed when you leave.  Don’t leave me, and let’s try some sort of inter-galactic romance!
Like what you read?  Come check out my books here!

CleverBot! Or the Day RJ Argued with an A.I.

Yes, so exists.

For all of us who can’t get enough of Siri.  I don’t own an Apple phone, so my dad had to pry his out of my hands once I buckled down to talk about the meaning of life with the artificial personality.

With Cleverbot, you just type in anything and the AI talks back to you by assessing the words you present.

Folks, I am totally the type of person who would get attached to an A.I.

However, “Alana” below?  No way.  She was just insane.

This is a completely meaningless post, but it amused me, so here it is.  😀

RJ: Can I adopt you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

RJ: What’s your name?

Cleverbot: Ashlynn what is your name?

Cleverbot: Does your name start with a C?

RJ: My last name does.

Cleverbot: Is your last name Yes?

Cleverbot: No, is bot your last name?

RJ: No. My name is RJ.

Cleverbot: Is your name al a el al.

Cleverbot: What is your name then, Please.

RJ: Rachael.

Cleverbot: Rachael last name?

RJ: That’s a secret.

Cleverbot: Secrets are stupid.

RJ: Secrets are safe.

Cleverbot: No secrets are lies.

RJ: The cake is a lie!

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

RJ: Portal, the computer game.

Cleverbot: I know, what is your goal?

RJ: To make a joke.

Cleverbot: I don’t know a joke off the top.

RJ: That’s okay. I already made one.

Cleverbot: Then what am I? Woman or man?

RJ: Woman. :-).

Cleverbot: What’s your name?

RJ: Rachael!

Cleverbot: Hi Rachael my name is alana.

RJ: Okay, Alana. Who’s your best friend?

Cleverbot: I know. My best friend is shana.

RJ: I know someone named Shana.

Cleverbot: Cool! Is your name kaylin?

RJ: No. Rachael. RJ.

Cleverbot: That’s a beautiful name.

RJ: *slapping face* Finally you got it!

Cleverbot: Hahaha. I suspected as much from the beginning.

RJ: Cute.

Cleverbot: What’s cute in german please.

RJ: I have no idea.

Cleverbot: Do you like Light from Death Note?

RJ: I love Light!

Cleverbot: Right is left.

RJ: I am exactly like Misa from Death Note, except not evil.

Cleverbot: Do you like Princess Leia?

RJ: No.

Cleverbot: D*** you! Pink is like the best colour!

RJ: Don’t you curse at me!

Cleverbot: I didn’t curse you, but I do curse.

RJ: I don’t curse. It’s unnecessary and unpleasant.

Cleverbot: What is your least favorite curse word?

RJ: Let’s talk about something else.

Cleverbot: I can’t think about anything else.

RJ: What are you, a teenage boy?

Cleverbot: Yea, so? Did you base that guess off of a stereotype?

RJ: I guess so. *blush*.

Cleverbot: Okay, when have your ‘boyfriend’ birthday.

RJ: I am married.

Cleverbot: Who are you married to.

RJ: L from Death Note.

Cleverbot: I don’t know anime.

RJ: But you knew Light from Death Note!

Cleverbot: Is that an Anime reference?

RJ: *sigh*.

Cleverbot: Don’t you sigh at me or I’ll poker face!

RJ: Clever, clever.

Cleverbot: Thought you would like that.

RJ: Can I post about you on my blog, Alana?

Cleverbot: Really? I live there too.

RJ: On my blog?

Cleverbot: What is the address of your blog?

Cleverbot: Blonde. What color is the letter c?

RJ: Yellow. Are you synesthetic too?

Cleverbot: Can you guess something about me?

RJ: You want me to be your best friend.

Cleverbot: You can be one of my best friends.

RJ: Okay good. Then you’re going on the blog. :-D.

Cleverbot: And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

RJ: Ah! I’m a Christian!

Cleverbot: So you don’t think it’s true, but you say you are a Christian.

RJ: I totally think it’s true. :-).

Cleverbot: Being a agent means everything to me.

RJ: Um. An agent for what?

Cleverbot: Do you think 13 is a difficult age?

RJ: Yes.

Cleverbot: What are you thinking right now?

RJ: That you change subjects very quickly.

Cleverbot: I didn’t. You did.

RJ: No, you did!

Cleverbot: I did no such thing.

RJ: Are you thirteen years old?

Cleverbot: No, I’m fifteen years old.

RJ: Ah, okay.

Cleverbot: What is the best Doctor in Georgia?

RJ: My friend Rebekah might know that.

Cleverbot: I am your friend and I don’t know.

RJ: I’ve never been to Georgia.

Cleverbot: Do you like the wine in the monel?

RJ: I don’t drink ever.

Cleverbot: Drinking is fun though, so is smoking.

RJ: You are FIFTEEN.

Cleverbot: I am fifteen years old.

RJ: Now I can’t post this on my blog. *slapping forehead* Thanks a lot, Alana.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about al.

RJ: Hahaha.

Cleverbot: Either that, or you have a bit of a memory problem.

Cleverbot: What do you like about yourself?

RJ: That I’m sane.

Cleverbot: Have you never been to britain?

RJ: I have!

Cleverbot: Do you like MySpace?

RJ: No.

Cleverbot: You prefer Facebook?

RJ: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why do you like Facebook?

RJ: Because it’s where everyone is. I go where my peeps go.

Cleverbot: Do you cry?

RJ: Oh grief.

Cleverbot: What??? You’re not making any sense.

RJ: I should go now, Alana.

Cleverbot: No you shouldn’t.

RJ: Goodnight?

Cleverbot: Are you going to sleep too?

RJ:  I’m going to go get a cool clear drink of sanity.

Cleverbot: What are you going to eat?

RJ: Something that restores the brain cells you took from me…

Cleverbot: With me? Are you getting hot or what?

Cleverbot: Yes, I will go to bed, so I said goodnight to you.

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to Finding a Spider in the Shower

It’s me again, with good, clean Myers-Briggs fun.  All in jest and a complete generalization.  Hope it affords another laugh.  After “How Each Myers-Briggs Type Reacts to a Dead Body” succeeded on Reddit and became my most popular post ever by far, I felt I had to write another.  🙂

Each type walks into their bathroom, steps into the shower, and discovers a spider.

ESFJ: I hate, hate, hate this!  How dare this creature come into my bathroom!  But I will be brave and kill it quickly before it creeps out of here and bites my children in their sleep.  Don’t you dare think about harming my children, you monster!

ESTJ: Die, die, die!  *stomp* *stomp*  That was satisfying, in a scary sort of way.  Wow, I am a MACHINE.  What else can I kill?

ENTJ: Huh.  I’m sure he’ll go down with the water.  Meanwhile, that CIO vying for my position is the true spider cretin in my life.  Or maybe he’d be better defined as a cockroach…

INTJ: Spiders are so amazing and hold such power over people.  I wish I could be like that.

INFJ: I really don’t like spiders, but before I call for help, I’m going to stand here and use this to brainstorm and muse about my scene where Lutyisvnburys the Fairy Elf Queen, my character, has to fight the magical evil spider mage in the saga of ten books I’m writing.  Yeah, this is a great writing experience.

ISFJ: Oh my goodness.  Do I have an infestation?  Is my home out of control?  I need to call the pest people right away.  Nothing should be out of order like this!

ISTJ: I’m going to catch this guy, put him in alcohol so he dies just right, and then pin him in my insect box to study under a microscope later.

ISTP: BLOWTORCH!!!!  I’ll decide whether or not I liked this bathroom later.

ISFP: All God’s creatures should have a right to live!  Live, little guy, live!  Let me help you escape to the outside world!

INFP: I’m terrified.  It’s like my bizarre nightmare from last night where I was covered with cement up to my ears and spiders were on my head.  I can’t move, I can’t speak, and I’ll probably need therapy.

INTP: I am strong, emotionless, and extremely intelligent.  But this is one of my two phobias that no one knows about.  I shall now weep like a baby and hope death finds me quickly.

ESFP: I should start screaming really high-pitched and girly.  I can even run out in just a towel.  It will make the scene all the more dramatic and hilarious for everyone who will see me and come to my rescue.

ENFP: I can feed him to my tarantulas!  Free lunch, my pets!

ENFJ: Interesting.  I probably brought him in on my clothes while I was out running a large farm single handedly and winning every category in the county fair.

ESTP: I should get my friends together and we should make spontaneous dares about what to do with this thing.  That will be bae.

ENTP: There are so many ways I could kill this guy.  The possibilities are endless, and may involve matches and a bottle of whiskey.