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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Literally... Inside My Head.

This morning I woke up at 5am with the worst headache in the whole world. After about 20 minutes of trying my very best to ignore it, I got up and headed downstairs in search of headache relief. I took a few tension headache tyenols and lay down with an ice pack on the couch. My headache became increasingly worse. Tension spilled out of my bones. Even my hair ached, and I felt nauseous to boot.

I tried throwing up, but that only increased the pain. I rocked back and forth holding my aching head and tried to relax, but it was impossible. In tears, I finally started a steamy hot bath. I poured in Epson salts, turned off all the lights, and submerged myself in the water. After soaking for a few minutes, the pain subsided to a dull pounding. I closed my eyes and counted the heartbeats in my head, concentrating on nothing else. I let my hands unclench, slackened my jaw, and let go through my shoulders.

And finally, relief came. Within short order, Spongebob Squarpants was somersaulting through my head in a wedding dress. I guess that is what I think about when I'm relaxed? I climbed back into bed and counted my heartbeats until my breathing was slow and even. I didn't go back to sleep, but I fell into a meditation of sorts that felt really refreshing.

I guess my tension comes out in my sleep. In the daytime, I've been just fine. It's at night that I begin to cry out and flinch. Aaron has to wake me up several times because I start shaking, squeezing my fists tight and grinding my jaw. I wonder why.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Operation Truth Project

I'm currently working on a photo project. It's kept me pretty busy, so I haven't been on here. But I'm planning on putting it up here in the next few days. It's a declaration of my truths; I'm planning on taking it to boot camp so when I feel all alone, I can remember that I've got friends.

Tomorrow I get off for my birthday, so I'll work on some of them then. Maybe Wednesday I'll get them up!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thanks For the Support

My Navy contract has been extended due to extenuating circumstances perpetuated by my mother. I won't be able to leave until next fall.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Who You Are

You are five years old and hiding in a corner Underneath the stairs
As your biggest hero crashes down the hall
You curl yourself into a small niche
Under your breath, you mutter the words
"I hate you"
But you forget how his ears are extra keen
Because of his blindness.
He heard you. Little girl
Do you have to be who you are?

You are ten years old,
Sitting at the end of your mother's bed.
With childlike words, you try to explain what happened
How his fingers groped, and you bled
Because you're scared
And your mother stares at you, dumbfounded
Her swollen belly threatening to burst
With his child
Your sister.
And she doesn't do a thing. Child,
What makes you think who you are is worth shit?

You are sweet sixteen, and it is not sweet.
Your birthday is spent in tears
Because you might be older, but you aren't better.
In fact, you probably shouldn't have been born
Because all you do
Is cause grief for your family
This is what he screams into your face
All day long
But come nightfall, he will cry as he holds you close
Telling you he loves you
As you pleasure him. Little lady,
Don't you regret yet who you are?

Today, I locked myself into the bathroom
Turned off all the lights
Lit a candle,
Turned on the ihome and played 'Hey Jude'
Curled up on the floor
And I cried for you.
I mourned the pain of the little girl,
Sobbed in rage for the child
My heart ached for the little lady.
I cannot forgive what happened.
Every step that made you
Who you are.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Three years ago today, my phone rang. I groggily reached for the desk. It was about 2pm, and I was napping, getting over a bit of a cold. "Hello?" It was Aaron, a boy from my choir. He asked if I wanted to get some lunch-his treat. I said yes, somewhat hesitantly. I wasn't sure what he wanted.

We went to a Mexican restaurant, where we proceeded to talk for the next four hours. When we finally left, we went to the mall for a little while. He worked at Penney's, and we looked around for a few minutes. When the mall closed, we went to Skyview Lake, and sat for about 3 hours talking. And then, we went to Walmart and messed around with one of the employees that I used to work with.

In the end, as I was leaving, he walked me to my car. He didn't waste any time. "So, would you be my girlfriend?"

and the rest, as they say...

I love you, Aaron Lee. Thanks for asking me out that day!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Melt My Heart Again

So, I've been writing my story over at Melt My Heart. It's been moving along quickly and easily. But the past few parts I've written have made me realize that I remember very little about my past, and I kind of don't want to remember the things I'm starting to.

After the last episode, I had a nagging recollection that I couldn't quite place my finger on. I'd try to think of it, but at the same time, I really tried to avoid it. Finally, over dessert last night, as I explained to Aaron, the whole memory came crashing back into my mind. It was a total shock and very unsettling. I guess I tried to protect certain people in my mind. Maybe that was my way of keeping someone around to support me and protect me against the man who hurt me so much. Turns out no one was there, after all.

I think I'd rather stay disillusioned. I've had to deal with a lot the past few years. In short order, my mom chose my abusive stepdad over me, my mom abandoned me and my siblings, my stepdad stole my siblings, my parents got a divorce. I was dragged into a media onslaught which made me an unwilling public figure. The family that welcomed me into their hearts and lives were chewed up and spit out when certain people accused their son-my best friend-of heinous acts that they are probably doing themselves. One of my best friends was killed, and now the person who should support me the most in life is trying her absolute best to create roadblocks in my future career.

With all of that on my plate to muck through, I don't think I want to be remembering nights in bed with my stepdad. I especially don't want to be remembering describing those nights in detail to someone and being ignored. The past can remain on the past while I work on the present. So if I'm missing a lot of details in my story, I ask your forgiveness. I'm keeping it light for my sake.

I'm not whining. I'm not being self-obsessed. This is me trying to be healthy and build myself up for my new family's sake. I don't want my husband to suffer any more than he has over what is now my past. My child will not know the life I knew. I'm very glad for a new chance to decide what I want to do and who I wanna be.

Thanks for understanding! And for reading. Many people have been extremely supportive of our whole family and situation, and I love that. Gratzi!

Monday, November 8, 2010

I took this photo in Colorado-I absolutely loved our cabin and everything about it.

I decided to do this before the freshness of being a bride wears off. :)

-How long did you date before you got engaged?
2 1/2 years

-Did you get the ring you wanted?
It's ten times better than what I thought I wanted! I'm glad he picked it.

-Was the proposal a complete surprise?
It was a shock, mostly because I thought it would be several
more months away still.

-Do you wish you had a bigger/smaller diamond? If so How big or small?
I actually think mine is the perfect size. He listened when I said not really
big, but not tiny. :)

-Did you cry when he proposed?

No... I smiled a lot, and kind of stuttered.

-Was the proposal romantic or creative?
It was very much both! More creative, slightly.

-Where did you go for your honeymoon?
Estes Park, CO. Beautiful!

-Did you buy his wedding band for him?

-What day of the year was your wedding day?

October 9th, 2010

-What kind of weather?
Sunny and about 76. Perfect!

-Inside or outside?

-Church/justice of the peace/other?
Our dear friend/pastor/mentor.

-How many people were there?

About 200

-Time of day?

3 pm

-Any kind of theme?
It was whimsical... roses and creme...

-How many bridesmaids? Who were they?

There were 5. Em was my maid of honor, of course, and Julie was
the matron of honor. Then I had Cassie and Liz and Marlee as bridesmaids.

-What kind of cake/what did it look like?

Like this :)

-Where did you have the reception?
At the vfw

-What kind of dress did you have/color/material?

It was white, um... not sure what material, but it was gorgeous. It
was a ballgown style, strapless, with lovely beadwork.

-What kind of flowers in your bouquet?

They were roses (white, creme, and red), baby's breath, and greenery.

-Kind of engagement ring?
the engagement ring is a diamond surrounded by 10 smaller stones.

-Kind of wedding bands?

A thin band that twines around it-its' a set. Aaron's is Platonic Titanium.

-How did you wear your hair?

Really feathery, updo for short hair, and highlights.

-Who was it important that they be there?

James, my old pal from singing school, and my other mother, and Gloria,
clear from Canada! And the wedding party. And my dad. I was glad for
absolutely everyone who came.

-Was the reception big or small?
I would call it pretty big. We comfortably fit in the room though.

-What did the groom wear?

A tux, with ivory shirt and paisley tie. It was Calvin Klein-dead sexy!

-How long on Honeymoon?

Around a week
later was when we went.

-What did you do?

Well, we spent a day driving, and ended up in Fort Collins at a lovely
lakeside campground cabin. We ate find dining, and the next day we shopped
in Boulder. Then we went to Estes Part and had a VIP Tour with the most cool
tour guide ever. And then we bought more shirts and trinkets and apple butter and
taffy and sweatshirts and hats and scarves and gifts for each other than we knew what
to do with. And then we spent a day hiking in the mountains and around a huge lake and
waterfall. Then we drove all the way home, and on the way, we ate alligator, kangaroo,
wild boar, buffalo, elk, and ostrich jerky. Yummy! And we did other things that I won't
talk about, of course, honeymoon things.... :p

-Was it modest or costly?

I guess it was kind of in between... for us it would have been really costly. But
we had a lot of help, so we were able to go all out. We had napkins with our names on them...
and a really amazing dress... and lovely decorations... and a lot of food... thanks to the
people who paid for all of that stuff!

-How old are you and the groom?

He is 22 and I am 24. For now.

-How long were you engaged before you got married?
7 months. YIKES!!!

-Live together before or wait till married?

We lived together... but in separate rooms. We lived with his parents for a
summer, and I got a floor to myself. Then we moved into the dorms, where
he slept in the dorm above me. And since then, we moved into a house, where
I slept with Cass while Aaron got his own room-till now. Mua-hahahha!

-Take a long time to plan the wedding or was it simple?
It took the whole 7 months. Was that a long time?

-Did you do it yourself or with family or hire someone to plan the wedding?
It was the combined efforts of Aaron and I, Lynne, Julie, and Mom Hoyt. And
the grandmas, of course!! Ohh, and Cassie.

-Did you write your own vows or use something pre-made?

We wrote our own. Funny story... Aaron forgot his at home, so he kind of made them up
as he went at the wedding. So he ended up saying, "I promise to do whatever you
want me to... even if I don't want to." I promise never to play that card on you, Babe.

Sigh.... I love being married...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Inside My Head, Installment #12

I have a new favorite song. Temporarily, at least. It's Footloose, by Kenny Loggins. Today, while I was working in the bar, and no one was around, I entered that song 4 times in the jukebox and danced my heart out around the pool tables. That was such a blast, I went ahead and played some songs from show choir and danced to those as well. It was gratifying. I didn't quite know how to explain why I was out of breath when another employee walked in. So I just played Hey Jude and jammed out. I love music so much.

Today was a long day, as noted in my earlier post. I'm full of thoughts right now and can't think to read my book or sleep. It probably didn't help that I drank a mountain dew today, because I drink those so rarely that when I do, it pumps me full of energy!!! I also drank a starburst when I got off of work. Here's the recipe to the most awesome drink ever:

A shot of each: Cherry, Watermelon, Grape, and Peach schnapps
Top with whipped cream.
This is my edited recipe. I make a lot of interesting mixed drinks at work.

My friends and I have begun discussing beliefs and philosophies lately. I am amazed at how many things I never questioned before, that are now up for grabs. Reincarnation seems entirely possible. Time, truth, and everything else is relative. My life personally has become a journey of peace. As much as I have lived in strife, I am a very peace-hungering soul.

One of my favorite new realizations is that most things I concern myself with are not worth the passion I put into them. For instance, a sudden anger at my friend dissapates quickly when I realize how short life is. A panic attack over money ceases once I'm reminded that it's just a phase I'm going through that will be over soon. My life is now. Not in the future. I can't live life waiting to see people again, or to make up with people I've lost. It's now that I should be happy, alive, and adventurous.

And I am! The Navy is a promising adventure. My husband and I are closer than we have ever been. Adversity has brought us together. Every week, we take a night off for dates. Sometimes we double date with our friends Dane and Julia, or Tim and Julie. Lately, we've taken to Christmas shopping. We are becoming active in the community and have made some good friends. He's converted me into a Husker fan. Me! A sports enthusiast!

When I lived in Nashville, I had the opportunity to nanny for the manager of the Newsboys. With that job, I got to meet several well known people and their offspring. I was telling Aaron about this the other day, and we began talking about baby names. Here are the ones he picked as favorites: Jackson Mitchell, Drew Renee, Ayrin Claire, and Kaden James. That was kind of a fun thing, and I was impressed. When we first met, he wanted to name our first son Magnum or River. Good Heavens! I'm so glad we've come so far. (Don't worry, anyone- no babies in our near future!)

When I was much younger, I had a list of baby names that I loved and planned on naming my 12 prospective children. Berea helped me with the list, and I think she planned on stealing a few of them. Funny thing, my favorite name on the list, and the one I planned to use no matter what, was Aaron Ezekiel. :) Some others were William Kyle, Westley Mitchell, and Vision James. For girls, I had Elisabeth Liberty, Morgan Whitaker, Jessica Madison, and Noelle Christmas (yes, really!). That's only eight, but I can't remember the other names. Suffice it to say, my future TWO children will thank me for becoming cooler with age and also for forgetting to have the other million siblings they were supposed to get. :p But we will have a dog named Marley.

As long as we're on the subject of Candy Man and I and a bun-in-the-oven, guess what happened at our house this week?
That's right... baking! And who do you suppose baked all this amazing banana and pumpkin bread?

Why, Aaron and me, that's who! We are the world's best team!!!!

Signing off, with... Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig way down in your heart
You're yearning, burning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut....

Ohhh, yeah. :)

A Fun Day

Well, the last 24 hours have been interesting.

Last night, my roommate got in a car accident. Her car was totaled, and she was lucky to be okay, although she did get a pretty good knock on the head and is suffering the expected stiffness and pain that usually follows a car crash.

This morning, I was informed that my mom had been given mental attention. That's all I know. I didn't learn when, or where the kids were, or what the attention was for. And I guess I won't know, but I do hope that if this is true, mom is getting excellent care.

And, then today, my friend from Omaha lost her house due to a fire. Candy Man is there now helping with relief. I would have gone, but I have class tomorrow. But my thoughts are with her, and I'm staying home with Cassie to make sure she's okay.

Also, I'm suffering some epic cramps and swollen tonsils. An odd and painful combination. Lord help us.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Wish for a Baby Girl

My wish for you
Tiny baby girl, smiling up at me, with blue-cicle eyes
And the little nose that scrunches up when you grin at me
Sweet child with mama's hair and daddy's knack for mischief
Is that you won't grow up
Until you are ready to.

In the Spring,
I hope your daddy teaches you to smell the flowers
And that your eyes light up with wonder at the sights
Of lavender and rose, and of newly grown buds on the dogwoods
May you find beauty
In a cool shower of rain.

When Summer comes,
My dream is of you, tiny angel, sitting in the shade
Only happiness attends your presence, and not a care
For you are young, and these are the months of enchantment
Blow the seeds of a dandelion
Make a wish, little meadow fairy.

In the Autumn,
When you become our little Boo, and learn the delight of cocoa
And of crunching leaves as you go door-to-door in search of candy
Stay young, little dreamer. Light the world with your smile in September
Always believe in miracles
Cause we believe in you.

Come frigid Winter,
When mama sings Ah La Nanita as you drift into Lullaby Bay
Count the stars that illuminate the tranquil night sky
I hope you stay safe in the arms of those who love you so
And love us too
Be our bright future
Oh, little baby girl

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

In the black of night
When a million stars pierce the sky
I breathe deep
Feel the presence inside me
Whispering mysteries

That I have known all along.

Monday, November 1, 2010

A Few Thoughts-Posted With Permission

This is what I'm trying to post to your blog, but it won't let me- it's too long. :P

It's a concept that's hard for me to really put into words- it's something I'm still working through. It's all a part of the process of shifting the blame/responsibility for my messed up childhood from the cult, and onto my parents. It's hard to do, and I can only do it in bits. :)

From what I have observed from my own situation, and from many others in similar ones, I have seen a pattern emerge. There are obviously exceptions to this, but I'm finding that they are few.

People that get caught up in cults seem to have some combination of the following:
- Insecurity
- A burning need to know absolutes
- Wanting to be different- not content to be just "ordinary"
- Inability to be truly honest with themselves
- Lack of ability to think critically (to slice through emotions, and process what is actually being said)
- Difficulty in making/maintaining healthy, stable friendships or relationships
- Think in Black/White terms only- nothing is ever grey
- Stubborn, and determined to be right
etc. etc. The list could really go on forever.

One scenario, which is all too common, is that one (or both) of these types of people get into a relationship, which turns out to be less perfect than they had envisioned. It may be a perfectly "normal" relationship, or it may actually be dysfunctional. Either way, it does not fit with the idea of the "perfection" they had in their brains, and since they firmly believe that button pushing works, they proceed to search for answers on how to make that happen.

Instead of keeping a level head about it, they turn to some charismatic, persuasive speaker with "reasonable" arguments- it makes sense in their brains. They latch on like a bulldog, and will not let go, no matter what is said.

I think childhood abuse plays into this- it creates such fractured people, who need the absolute security of knowing what's right, what's true.

The unfortunate thing is that they become very obnoxious, and, as Angel said, repel healthy people.

I've seen this played out repeatedly over my childhood. For over 20 years, I fiercely stood up for my abusers, and defended everything they did. I bought their line that they were the victims- they meant well, but everyone was always taking advantage of, and hurting them. (for the record: I'd like to believe that they did mean well, and that it was the brokenness in their brains that led them to make such unfortunate decisions. Sometimes I wonder, though.)

Which brings me to another point: I think there will always be a huge disconnect between the parents and the children of these movements.

The parents insist that they meant well, and only wanted the best for their children. I think that's what they honestly believe, but if they were brutally honest with themselves, I think the answer would actually be a little different. I've studied child abuse pretty extensively over the last little while (with the help of my psychologist), and what appears to be happening is that the parents are so broken and hurting, and try to find a way to heal themselves. They *say* that they're doing this for their children, but reality, it's for themselves. It's inherently selfish, and they do not take their children's personalities, needs, hurts, etc. into question. It's all about the parent being right. It's vengeance for having all control taken away from them when they were young, and they unfortunately exert that vengeance on their innocent children.

We children just see that the people that were supposed to love, nurture and protect us utterly screwed up their job. They allowed and more often than not caused us to be hurt.

It's complicated. I get that. I don't think that any parent actually sets out to hurt their children. I know that mine didn't. I know that I was loved abundantly and richly for the first 5 years of my life. Now that I've let the pain and anger of the next 15 years have their day in court, I'm able to look back with more warmth towards those 5 wonderful years.

My parents would have given their lives for me- I know that. They loved me as much as they could, but their brokenness and pain prevented them from seeing how they were destroying the child that was given to them to care for. I know the guilt consumes them now, but that does not absolve them for what they did. I've had to realize that, and let myself be angry, to cry for those lost years of my childhood.

It's never going to be ok. I will come to a point where there will be some measure of forgiveness, I think, but the bitter fact remains: I never had a childhood. They stole it from me.

The problem is...the abuse continues. I know they don't mean to do so, but it continues. It is now up for me to shield myself.

This is what I see in Angel's situation, too. The abuse continues- yes, it's taken on a different form, but it's just as insidious and painful for her. She had to take the extreme step to get complete distance, and I know how hard it was for her. Whether or not the abuser(s) meant to hurt her is hard to say. Knowing what I do, I've got to say that it appears pretty deliberate. I have heard the abuser's side and apparent intentions, but the way I see it coming across to Angel is a very different thing. I think that's where the person type comes in.

I see the pattern repeated in my parents. They fall for the exact same things over and over and over again. Lessons don't get learned. There seems to be some disconnect somewhere, and it frustrates me to no end- I love them, and I hate seeing them get hurt.

I see that with most other people that have got involved in cults- very few actually learn any lessons from their experiences, and just go on to replicate it in some other way- whether it be another religion, a pyramid scheme, or a toxic group of friends. It seems to be an inner drive to stay in this level of a "comfort zone", and no amount of healthy options available will attract them.

Children like Angel and I are very reactive to this type of behavior. We tend to crave the ordinary, the non sensational, and a good, honest day's work. We hate drama, and we hate "perfect answers" to anything- we know there is no such thing. Some children react differently. Some are permanently broken, and never able to pull out of the cycle.

Angel was a rebel, as was I. We fought hard, and were punished (and broken) hard. It is, however, that strength and determination that has given us the ability to live healthy, discerning lives. (the willingness to be brutally honest has helped, too. Relentlessly questioning everything is a must!)

These are just a few of my thoughts on the subject. ;-)


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Thursday, 5 May 2005

The Shadow Of The Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

This wonderful quote is from the book:

"Every book, every volume you see here, has a soul. The soul of the person who wrote it and of those who read it and lived and dreamed with it. Every time a book changes hands, every time someone runs his eyes down its pages, its spirit grows and strengthens ..."

The Journal Entries for this book, which made my top 10 of 2005 is HERE

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Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Nahanni and the British Library

In Canada we have National Parks that few will ever visit. But there is wide support for protecting them. The Nahanni National Park Reserve is one. They are part of Canada's heritage and define our national identity.

In the UK the British Library plays a similar part in helping defining the national identity, so it's sad to read reports of politicians so careless of the heritage entrusted to them that they are prepared to put a price on, and in some instances close, access to documentary heritage. This article from The Independent documents the proposals.

I have used the British Library once, quite a few years ago, looking for genealogical information on an East India Company soldier. It's an inspiring facility next to St Pancras Station. The Newspaper Library, which I've also used, is nondescript in its North London obscurity, but the contents include local newspapers which are the paper of record for ordinary folks. Pity the politicians don't seem to care about ordinary folks and their history, a sure sign they've been in power for too long.


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    Citizens Against Covance

    Citizens against Covance is an organization committed to preventing a planned Covance Laboratory from being built in Chandler, Arizona.

    In an attempt to cover up the truth Covance Inc. has recently bought out two of our domain names and, which redirects viewers to their website.

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Daily Updates ↓

Daily Updates

Hey Jammers! The blog email has changed to ajfeelers@gmail.com!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Jamaaliday Update #2!

 The second Jamaaliday update is here!
   Animal Jam has created a real online store for you to buy clothes like from Animal Jam!
visit this link to visit the online store!
Warning: The website may be busy or unavailable. For your computer. Or something.

First of all, everyday when you log in (for a limited time) you will get to pick a gift instead of gems!

      Today's gift is a Snowflake Rug!

It doesn't matter which gift you pick, because any gift you pick will be a snowflake rug.

You get a new icon in the upper screen for parties!
The one I received was the Jamaaliday Jam!

They also have a Jamaaliday Jam Shop for 1 exclusive item! The Paw Candy thing!

Also, you can finally customize your pets accessories however you want!
Just go to the Pet Store in Appondale to customize!

Also, the next animal coming is a horse!

I was this close to a horse. Even though zebras aren't related to horses....

In the clothing stores:
Jamaa Township
Shiveer Shop
In the Shiveer shop, they have Faerie wings from "Best Dressed"!

In the den shops:
        It's really funny because the little "chocolate bits" are actually Reindeer Poop!

   And there is Pest Control for your den.

   You can get lit trees for your den!

Here is the new 2012 Jam-a-Gram! It's animated!

Ok whyyy? They put Happy New YearS. It's ONE happy new year not a BILLION happy new years I'm so tired of hearing Happy New Years!
Other than that, do you guys love the update?

  1. i love the update!!!!
    it finally have the things i want!!!
    i luv animal jam!!!!

  2. I love the new Parties!And i hope,the horses are for nonmembers,too...(I hope!!!)

  3. luv it
    everyone keeps trading me rares the first day for them
    like with rares..... weird
    btw hi skyler0505

  4. did they stop selling the Paw Candy thing because i dont see it being sold anymore:/

  5. i have reindeer poo and i like to call it a "secret chair" (gross, i know) and if they come out again, im gonna buy it til i either dont have enough gems or filled up space.

Here are the steps for commenting on my blog:
1. Do 10 jumping jacks. Right now. In front of your computer.
3. Go to your sibling (or parent) and say: "I feel a disturbance in my socks."
4. Type your comment while dancing like a diseased maniac.
5. When your parent asks what the glob you are doing answer by saying: "The computer made me do it."
6. If you say anything bad, hate, or anything like that, then no more commenting for you. (Okay, this is the only step you can take seriously.)
7. If you love bacon, type at the end of your comment: P.S. to Feelers: Ich liebe Speck. [That means "I love bacon" in German.]
8. Jam On! :D

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Monday, April 6, 2015

Read Volume Four Now!

THE TAINTED CROWN, Volume Four of THE HORSTBERG SAGA is now available!

Here are the links for the e-book version in multiple formats, and the print version from Amazon.

The Tainted Crown Kindle

The Tainted Crown Print

The Tainted Crown i-Tunes

The Tainted Crown Nook

The Tainted Crown Kobo

The Tainted Crown Google

Also, Volume Five (Kindle version only) is available for preorder.

Spoiler alert! This volume is about the next generation following volume four, but if you read the summary, its implications might spoil your experience in reading volume four. So don't!!

Volume Five will be available in print form as well as the other formats listed above. So don't panic!

Here is the link . . . Volume Five Kindle Preorder

Enjoy! Anita

1 comment:

Baby Sister said...

Yay!! I'm so excited to read this!! And it was released on my birthday! I couldn't have asked for a better present. :)


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Sunday, July 12, 2015

Remains (From a prompt in Writers’ Digest July/August 2015)

I ate it—but not all of it.  It was terrible.  That’s what happens when I am hungry and tired.  My standard for edible food collapses like a wall of sand.

The cheese crisp was not crisp.  It was cold and tasteless.  I think the cook threw two handfuls of grated cheese on a floppy tortilla and sent it out to the server.  I sat there at the restaurant table smoldering from stuffed frustration and envy.  The kid’s plate across from me looked divine and she was devouring it with gusto: a juicy hamburger on a toasted bun with pickles, lettuce and a side of fries.

The next day, I salvaged the remains of my meal.  I sliced a fresh red pepper and patterned the slender pieces on top of the crisp, sprinkling it with parsley and drizzling garlic-seasoned olive oil on the tortilla.  I placed the tortilla on foil and baked it at 325 degrees in the oven for seven minutes.

It came out with edges lightly browned and bubbling cheese and toppings.  The peppers were sweet with a touch of garlic and juicy.

Sometimes the remains of a disappointing entrée can be resurrected into a tasty treat.  On its second do-over, I ate it all.

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My Love Regret Release

Hello! “My Love Regret” is here and the drama intensifies. Damian and Risa’s bittersweet love story will continue in “My Love Protect”.

My Love Regret_Medium

When love is hate and cruelty is kindness…

How could I walk away from Damian when he held my heart so tightly?

Risa Kelly is barely holding on by a frayed thread. Her lover, Damian Black-Price, has not only lost all memory of their relationship, but he seems determined to keep her at arms-length.

Except when he’s pulling her back to him.

Cruel, ill-tempered, and possessive, Damian doesn’t want to keep Risa, but he won’t let her go. Risa holds her emotions under lock and key, but inside she’s frustrated, heartbroken, and sick with love. But every time she’s ready to walk away for good, Damian lures her back to him.

Push and pull. Hate and love. Something has got to give…

Damian Black-Price knows he should stay away from his PA, Risa Kelly. Between the facade of his posh New York life and the bitter truth of his violent Konstantinov heritage, he’s not free to love her as he wants. As Risa deserves.

If he were a good man he’d let her go.

But the thought of not seeing Risa, not hearing her sweet voice, and not being able to keep her close, drives him mad. Torn between what he should do and what he wants to do, Damian’s life is quickly spiraling out of control.

Which side of him will win? The saint he wants to be or the sinner who knows Risa is his other half?

NOTE: This is not a stand-alone novel. Damian and Risa’s bittersweet romance will continue in the upcoming novel “My Love Protect.”


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Pin Oak Caregivers Blood Pressure Booklet

Client: Pin Oak Caregivers

Format: 3.75″ x 5.5″ 16-page booklet

Design Objective: Jane Seger, Administrator for Pin Oak Caregivers, searched the internet, but couldn’t find a blood pressure booklet that met her needs. Anne Swanson designed this simple booklet for Jane and her team to provide to their clients. Pin Oak Caregivers are always looking out for the families they serve.

Printer: Business Extension Bureau


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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Some beautiful photos, including lightning and thunderclouds at sea

It'll take you a while to scroll through all of these and some will not interest you. But there are some real gems:

National Geographic's Photo Contest 2010

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wonder how many of them are seasick?

Saw this earlier today and thought I'm mighty glad I'm not onboard!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Writing and Sailing - waiting for the perfect conditions

I was pondering earlier this morning and came to the conclusion that writing and sailing don’t have a lot in common. And how, I hear you ask, can you explain such a strange, but obvious, statement?

Well, I’ve always been one to wait for conditions to be just right before I put pen to paper. Actually, these days it’s much more likely to be tapping away at the keyboard! But the fact remains, I find it hard to get into the mood, get everything just so, so that I can write.

With sailing, you can certainly wait for the perfect conditions before you set out. But you won’t be able to go sailing nearly as often as you could, because you would always be waiting for perfection.

And if you’re sailing any sort of distance, even if you did set out in perfect conditions, one or more changes would come through and you, your crew and boat would have to handle them.

And, of course, Jessica Watson certainly wouldn't have been able to complete her circumnavigation is she'd only been able to sail in perfect conditions.

So, having been inspired to write this post after reading just the first three paragraphs of Chris Brogan’s How to Write Three Posts a Day, I think I’m doing quite well!


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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Yes I am shaming myself.....but for a good reason.

Hi Folks. I am about to do a shameful plug of what I am selling on ebay.http://myworld.ebay.com/hertz27

I'm selling some of my cards and other various items because those things called, "surprises in life" always love to pop up when you are low on funds and it's two weeks before the next payday and I am already working extra hours to cover ends meet as it is. When you have to spend over $700.00 for parts with money you don't have to pay for your only mode of transportation and I have to have a vehicle for work I have no choice but to start parting with my collection because it's what I have to do in order to take care of me and the kiddos.

Take a look at what I have listed so far. Maybe you'll find something or maybe not. I'm hoping to get a list up of prospect auto's that well be bargins listed on here in the next day or two. More to come folks!

it's game time!

Fuji said...

Hey bud... you're one of the good guys in the hobby. I'll never forget the Suzuki ball you generously gave me. It's one of the centerpieces in my collection.

I threw in bids on several of your auctions. I'm currently the high bidder two or three things... and raised bids on a couple of others. Hope this helps you out at least a little. Good luck buddy.

The Big Kahuna said...

Thanks Mark! You'll get a discount for being a follower also!


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New Years Eve/Holiday Make-up

Hello lovelies,

Here is a glamours and colourful make-up look perfect for any New Years Eve plans that you may have. Purple is one of my favourite colours and I think it looks especially pretty on the eyes whether you have green, blue or brown eyes.

Step 1:
Using a flat eyeshadow brush or your fingers press Maybelline color tattoo in too cool on the inner corner of your eye.

Step 2:
On the remaing of your lid and up to your crease use Maybelline color tattoo in painted purple.

Step 3:
Use a semi-shimmery purple eye shadow (mine is from an essence palette 03 vamp it up) and pat this on top of painted purple.

Step 4:
In your inner corner use a shimmery pink on top of too cool. I used the lighter pink from my Stila written in the stars palette.

Step 5:
Very lightly use a darker purple to deepen your crease. I used busted from my Urban Decay Naked2 palette. Be sure to blend, so the colour doesn't look too dark or harsh.

Step 6:
Using the two pink colours side by side in my stila palette I softened up my crease by blending them into and above my crease over busted. This creates an easy and soft transition of colour.

Step 7:
Line your upper lash line and wing it out at the end for a more dramatic look.

Step 8:
Line your bottom lash line with either a pencil or a shadow.
Using a flat brush I lined my lowet lash line with busted from my Naked2 palette.

Step 9:
Apply your favourite lengthing mascara to your top and bottom lashes.

Step 10:
Highlight under your brown bone (once your brows are completed). I used bootycall from Naked2

Step 11:
Put on your favourite light pink lipstick and gloss.
I used Mac lipstick in snob and Mac lip glass in wee coquette.

For the face I contoured my cheeks bones, applied a soft pink blush and a shimmery pink highlight above my cheekbones, along the bridge of my nose and on my cupids bow for the perfect pout.

You are all finished!!!!
Thanks everyone for reading and I hope you like this look. Let me know if you wear this on New Years or if you do something similar.

Also what is everyone us doing tomorrow night to ring in the New Year?!?!?
Comment below!!!

1 comment:

  1. OMG, such a stunning makeup looks. Absolutely gorgeous!! Your eyes are a gorgeous colour. x
    I love your blog, I'm now following you, I'd be honoured if you could check out my blog:

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!!<3
Please follow with bloglovin' or GFC if you enjoyed this post!

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Friday, May 1, 2009

Bartender ... more sand!!!

(One of the most obnoxious aspects of the pablum narrative that is spewed out by the MSM is the ridiculous term 'toxic assets that are impossible to price'. The incessant marketing of language in order to manufacture opinion never ceases to amaze me but then again if it didn't work then folks wouldn't do it. People ... please, we can put a man on the moon, we can build particle accelerators to peer into the early moments of creation but no matter how hard we try we just cannot apply our opposable thumbs to a keyboard in order to make that spreadsheet tell us what these rich folks' bad speculative bets are worth... IT'S ... JUST ... TOO ... COMPLEX! Indymac at 37 cents - koff, koff move along nothing to see here- Whitejacket at 67 percent -harummph each toxic assets is like a snowflake, doncha know ...

Bartender, more sand! -AM

By Neil Unmack
April 30 (Bloomberg)

Whistlejacket Capital Ltd., the defaulted structured investment vehicle, sold more than $2.5 billion of its assets at an average discount of 33 percent, according to three people with knowledge of the matter.

Receivers at Deloitte & Touche LLP sold 54 percent of the SIV’s $5 billion investments at an auction yesterday, said the people, who declined to be identified because the full results weren’t disclosed. The average price was 67.1 percent of face value for securities that included bank bonds and mortgage- backed debt, Deloitte said in a statement today.

Whistlejacket, set up by London-based Standard Chartered Plc, defaulted in February 2008 when investors stopped buying the short-term debt that SIVs relied on to fund higher-yielding assets. The proportion of assets sold at Whistlejacket’s auction was more than double the share investors liquidated in July at a sale for Cheyne Finance Plc, the first SIV to auction assets.

(On a personal note I once sat at a conference with some folks from Cheyne related to the asset class I operate in. They were all excited about committing huge amounts of capital and were as clueless as anyone I've ever met.-AM)

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Rabu, 07 Oktober 2015

Rhinoplasty - Getting Self-Confidence

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Arancini with Soppressata

Little oranges or the eyes of Santa Lucia? You decide.

Fifteen 1¾-inch arancini (or 30 one-bite arancini)

Once you have made the stock, about 2 hours of active work and at least 4 hours of chilling time

We like to think of arancini as crisp rice balls stuffed with magic. Beyond the panoply of meats, cheeses, and vegetables used to fill them, arancini burst with lore. Their name—which means “little oranges” in Italian—derives from the notion that when the egg used in the breading preparation carries a bright orange yolk, the arancini take on that hue and resemble little oranges after frying. Conceptually, arancini could be said to represent a cultural juxtaposition between the rice riches of Arabia and the martyrdom of Santa Lucia—a young woman sacrificed during Roman times for smuggling food to Christians hiding in the catacombs. Arancini became the totemic food for her feast day—the feast of Santa Lucia—which celebrates the Festival of Light on December 13. Myth has it that arancini represent the saint’s eyes. We think the Festival of Light a fitting metaphor for the flavor and texture of perfect arancini. Not so sure about the eyes. . .

Cooking Remarks

As for the magic we mentioned above, this recipe calls for smoked scamorza, a spun mozzarella-style cheese, because it happens to be particularly good with sopressatta (a dry Italian sausage). But, seriously, you don’t have to go with either one. A nice salami and fontina Val d’Aosta are perfectly capable of replacing them. For that matter, if you prefer cocktail-size arancini, skip the stuffing altogether! Either way, panko is the bread crumb of choice because it crisps up far better than your average fine bread crumbs.

Arancini are not difficult. But they are a time investment best spaced over two days. Having said that, these little balls prove amazingly resilient. We fried a half batch one afternoon during testing, only to discover that the remaining arancini—hanging out on a baking sheet in our fridge fully breaded—fried to perfection two days later! That’s to say you don’t have to panic them off into the fryer just after breading. Once fried, they rewarm beautifully—and they’re surprisingly tasty at room temperature, too. Who knew?

equipment mise en place

For this recipe, you will need a small saucepan and a heavy-bottomed medium saucepan; a wooden spoon; a ladle; a medium bowl and a small bowl; a whisk; two or three baking sheets; parchment paper; a wide, shallow bowl or small baking dish; a heavy-bottomed saucepan (with roughly a 7-inch diameter and 5-inch depth) or a Fry Daddy; an instant-read or deep-fry thermometer; and a wire skimmer.

    • 2
      tablespoons unsalted butter

    • cup minced shallot
    • 1
      small garlic clove, minced
    • 1
    • ½
      cup dry white wine or vermouth

    • teaspoons minced fresh thyme
    • 1
      Turkish bay leaf
    • Fine sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
    • 2
      ounces finely grated Parmesan Reggiano
    • 3
      large eggs
    • 2 to 3
      ounces smoked scamorza, cut into fifteen ½-inch cubes
    • 3 or 4
      thin slices soppressata, cut into fifteen ½-inch squares
    • 1
      teaspoon olive oil or vegetable oil
    • About 1½ cups panko
    • About 4 cups peanut oil for deep-frying

    Put the chicken stock in a small saucepan, cover, and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Turn the heat to low and keep the stock hot while you cook the risotto.

    Melt the butter in a heavy-bottomed medium saucepan over medium-low heat until it foams. Add the shallot and sauté, stirring with a wooden spoon, until translucent nearly melted into the butter, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook, stirring constantly, for about 30 seconds. Add the rice, increase the heat to medium, and sauté until the grains are coated with butter and the edges have turned translucent, about 2 minutes (fig. 2.1). Add the wine, stir, and simmer until almost fully absorbed. Ladle in about 1 cup of hot stock and add the thyme, bay leaf, ½ teaspoon salt, and ½ teaspoon pepper and stir to distribute the liquid among the grains (fig. 2.2). Cook the rice, uncovered and stirring frequently, until the liquid has been almost fully absorbed and the mixture begins to look dry; adjust the heat as need to maintain a steady but gentle simmer. Ladle in about ½ cup of hot stock and continue to cook the risotto, stirring frequently; add more stock only after the previous addition has been absorbed. After you have added the fourth installment of stock (for a total of about 2½ cups), allow the rice to cook until it has absorbed all of the liquid and is thick and creamy. Taste the rice; it should be tender with the faintest al dente “bite” at the center of the grain. If it is undercooked, add the remaining hot stock about 2 tablespoons at a time, simmer until the liquid is absorbed, and taste again. The idea is to use the minimum amount of liquid so that the risotto is as thick and dry as possible. When the rice is done—after about 20 minutes—stir in the Parmesan (fig. 2.3). Transfer to a medium bowl and discard the bay leaf. Taste the risotto for seasoning and add more salt and pepper, if desired (the risotto should taste aggressively seasoned in order for the arancini to be full-flavored). Let cool until warm to the touch, about 30 minutes; stir occasionally to help the rice release its heat.

    In a small bowl, whisk 1 egg until well combined. Add the beaten egg to the risotto and stir until fully incorporated. Let cool to room temperature, and then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 3 hours, or for up to 2 days.

    Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Divide the chilled risotto mixture into fifteen evenly sized portions, each about 1.6 ounces in weight (or about 3 generous tablespoons in volume). Using your hands and a light touch (the risotto may be a little gooey but rinsing your hands after shaping every 2 or 3 balls helps), roll each portion into a rough ball—the shape does not need to be perfect—and set the ball on the prepared baking sheet (fig. 4.1). (For mini arancini, weigh out thirty 0.8-ounce portions and shape them into neat balls. They will be too small for stuffing, but delightfully dainty with cocktails.)

    Using your index finger, poke a hole into the center of a risotto ball. Insert a slice of soppressata into the center, then a cube of cheese, then a second slice of soppressata (fig. 5.1). Enclose the cheese and soppressata in the rice; reshape the ball, this time forming it into a neat sphere; and return it to the baking sheet. Stuff the remaining risotto balls with the remaining cheese and the remaining sopressatta in the same way. Cover the baking sheet with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour, or for up to 24 hours.

    When you are ready to fry the arancini, in a medium bowl, whisk together the remaining 2 eggs, the water, and the olive oil. Put the panko in a wide, shallow bowl or small baking dish. Have ready a clean baking sheet. Gently drop 3 or 4 chilled risotto balls into the panko and roll them around until coated on all sides. One at a time, lift each ball out, dust off excess panko, and place it on the baking sheet (fig. 6.1). Add a panko-coated ball to the egg and roll it around with a fork until coated on all sides (fig. 6.2). Lift the fork and allow the excess egg to drip off, and then drop the ball into the panko again (fig. 6.3). Roll the ball around, gently patting gently to help the panko adhere in a thick, even layer. Lift out the ball, gently reshape it into a nice sphere, and return it to the baking sheet. Repeat until all of the risotto balls are breaded.

    Pour enough oil into a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan (with roughly a 7-inch diameter and 5-inch depth) or a Fry Daddy to reach a depth of about 2 inches. Set the saucepan over medium-high heat or plug in the Fry Daddy. Line a baking sheet with a double thickness of paper towels. When the oil registers about 360 degrees on an instant-read or deep-fry thermometer, carefully drop in a few risotto balls (fig. 7.1); don’t overcrowd the pot. Fry the arancini, gently and occasionally turning them with a wire skimmer, until deeply browned all around, 2 to 3 minutes. (Mini arancini will take only a minute or so to brown.) Using the skimmer, transfer the arancini to the prepared baking sheet (fig. 7.2). Fry the remaining risotto balls in batches in the same manner, allowing the oil to regain its heat after each batch. Serve the arancini as soon as they are all ready, or keep them warm in a 200-degree oven for 20 to 30 minutes. (They’re also quite good at room temperature, and leftovers reheat surprisingly well on a baking sheet in a 325-degree oven for about 10 minutes.)

    1. 2.1
    2. 2.2
    3. 2.3
    1. 4.1
    1. 5.1
    1. 6.1
    2. 6.2
    3. 6.3
    1. 7.1
    2. 7.2


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As suave as chicken and rice soup can get.

4 to 6 portions

About 2¾ hours, over the course of 2 days

What happens when chicken and rice in broth is brought to an alluring velvetiness with a liaison of beaten egg and lemon juice? It goes from simple soup to elegant party animal. Curiously, avgolemono, which we think of as Greek, evolved in the Sephardic cultures throughout the eastern and western Mediterranean rim—where it was called agristada—as a hot or cold sauce or soup made with fish or chicken broth and enriched with eggs. It predates the Mother sauces! Ultimately, the simplicity of this dish masks a number of conundrums in provenance and flavor: Chicken or egg? Soup or sauce? Medicine or food? Greek or fill-in-the-blank? But it is so brilliant and satisfying, we aren’t terribly concerned about the vagaries that attend its history.

We, of course, exalt avgolemono not merely as soup or sauce but as a first-class rice dish, and take some pride in the fact that Sephardim brought the dish to Savannah when that city was the budding colonial center of Carolina rice export. Carolina Gold, which we use in this recipe, possesses not only a beautiful clean mouthfeel and flavor, but the outstanding starch qualities—thought to stabilize the egg liaison—associated with medium-grain rice.

The magic of silk, satin, and sunlight in this recipe, which Dawn developed for us, resides in the soup’s delicate depth of flavor and its ingredient ratio. Frankly, past interactions with avgolemono left us undersold. It can be thin of flavor, tinny or metallic, and generally without character. But here, we poach the chicken with a set of advanced aromatics that infuse both the stock and meat, use whole eggs rather than only yolks, and just the right amount lemon to deliver superb texture, balance, and flavor.

Cooking Remarks

Start with a gorgeous fresh local farm-raised chicken. (Here, we have Jefferson.) Don’t bother making this recipe with boxed chicken broth, dry shredded breast meat, or eggs that are wan and lifeless. Part of the visual appeal of this soup comes from richly hued egg yolks that come from happy, pastured hens.

equipment mise en place

For this recipe, you will need a heavy-bottomed 6-quart Dutch oven; a pair of tongs; a footed colander; a large bowl, a couple of medium bowls, and a couple of small bowls; a large and a small fine-mesh strainer; a sharp vegetable peeler; kitchen twine; a digital kitchen scale; a heavy-bottomed large saucepan; a wooden spoon; a whisk; a ladle; and warmed serving bowls.

    • 2
      medium yellow onions, peeled and chopped
    • 2
      medium celery ribs, chopped
    • 1
      carrot, peeled and chopped
    • 10
      large garlic cloves, peeled and halved
    • 6
      fresh thyme sprigs or 2 teaspoons dried thyme
    • A handful of fresh flat-leaf parsley sprigs
    • 1
      Turkish bay leaf
    • 20
      black peppercorns
    • 1
      (4-pound) whole chicken
    • 2
      quarts spring or filtered water
    • 1
      large, juicy lemon, preferably organic, scrubbed
    • ½
    • Fine sea salt
    • 3
      large eggs, room temperature
    • Freshly ground black pepper
    • Chopped fresh dill, for garnish

    In a heavy-bottomed 6-quart Dutch oven, combine the vegetables, garlic, thyme, parsley, bay, and peppercorns. Place the chicken breast side-up in the pot, pour in the water, and bring it to a simmer over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat to low, cover partially, and simmer for 35 minutes. Using a pair of tongs, turn the chicken breast side down, cover the pot partially, and continue to simmer until the drumstick moves about loosely in the joint, 20 to 30 minutes more. Turn off the heat and use the tongs to transfer the chicken to a footed colander set in a large bowl. When the chicken is cool enough to handle, remove the meat from the bird and shred it into small bite-size pieces with your fingers, leaving a fair bit of meat on the bones so that the broth will be flavorful. Turn the shredded meat into a small bowl, cover, and refrigerate until ready to use. Return the bones, skin, and any liquid in the bowl to the pot and bring the broth to a simmer over medium heat. Simmer until it is rich and flavorful and measures 5 cups, about 45 minutes. Strain the broth through a large fine-mesh sieve into the bowl; discard the solids in the sieve. Let the broth cool to room temperature, and then cover and refrigerate overnight.

    Using a sharp vegetable peeler, remove the zest from the lemon in strips, taking as little of the white pith as possible. Stack the zest strips and tie them securely into a bundle with kitchen twine. Cut the lemon in half and squeeze the juice into a small fine-mesh strainer set over a small bowl; you should have about ¼ cup. Set the zest bundle and the juice aside. Weigh out 8 ounces of shredded chicken (reserve the remainder for another use).

    Skim off and discard most of the congealed fat from the surface of the broth; leave just a little fat for flavor. Transfer the broth to a heavy-bottomed large saucepan, cover, and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Add the lemon zest bundle, the rice, and 1 teaspoon salt and stir to combine. Turn down the heat to low, cover, and simmer, stirring once or twice with a wooden spoon, until the rice is just shy of tender, about 16 minutes.

    In a medium bowl, whisk the eggs and 3½ tablespoons of the lemon juice until well combined. Set a fine-mesh strainer over second medium bowl, pour in the egg mixture, and stir to encourage the mixture to fall through the mesh; discard the egg bits remaining in the strainer. Set the bowl near the saucepan and, while whisking continuously, very gradually ladle in about 2 cups of the hot broth, skimming from the top (so as not to take any grains of rice). Now, while continuously stirring the broth mixture with the wooden spoon, gradually pour the bowl’s contents into the saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the soup is thick enough to lightly coat the wooden spoon, about 5 minutes; do not let the soup reach a simmer. Remove and discard the lemon zest bundle, add the shredded chicken, and turn down the heat to low. Continue to cook, stirring constantly, just until the chicken is warmed through, about 3 minutes. Turn off the heat, taste, and adjust the seasoning with salt. Ladle the soup into warmed bowls, sprinkle with dill, grind some black pepper over the top, and serve.


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Status:Closed    Asked:Oct 07, 2013 - 08:59 AM

Any suggestions for strength training for a shoulder impingement?

Hi - Looking for recommendations to build shoulder strength as I recover from a shoulder impingement. Physical therapy has helped but it is a very sllllooooooowww recovery. Looking for some recommendations to workout during recovery. Thanks!

Do you have the same question? Follow this Question

A common diagnosis of the rotator cuff is impingement syndrome. This refers to the impingement of the soft tissues between the humeral head and the archway that is formed by the acromion and the coracoacromial ligament. Conditions that narrow this archway, such as soft-tissue swelling, bone spurs, or arthritic changes, can predispose an individual to impingement. For some individuals, the acromion is congenitally hooked or curved in shape—as opposed to flat—which may predispose the client to an impingement syndrome as the acromion rubs on the rotator cuff.

The initial stages of training for rotator cuff injuries focus on reducing inflammation and promoting healing. This is a stage of “active rest” in which the exacerbating activities are eliminated or modified. Common causes of injury are overhead sports, military press, incline bench press, and lateral raises in the frontal plane. Restoring shoulder range of motion via flexibility exercises is also an important goal of this phase. However, ranges that are painful should be avoided.

A key component of restoring shoulder stability is to restore the strength of the muscles associated with the scapula. A normal scapula provides a stable base for shoulder rotation and maintains the proper length-tension relationship of the rotator cuff and deltoid muscles. When initiating scapula musculature strengthening, external rotation and extension should be limited to neutral. Closed-chain exercises performed with the hands fixed provide a compressive load to the shoulder joint and promote stability. Examples include wall push-ups and quadruped or plank stabilization exercises.

Because the biceps originates on the scapula, biceps curls performed in a seated position with the elbow supported may reduce the chances of exacerbation. Also, avoiding end ranges of elbow extension may reduce irritation of the area. In addition, performing curls with a neutral forearm position (i.e., hammer curl) will reduce the load on the biceps.

Modifications should be made to the bench press exercise as well. First, there should be a mandatory “handoff” and spot. Second, range of motion should be limited so that the elbows do not dip below the level of the shoulders. Third, a narrower hand spacing (grip) should be utilized to minimize the peak shoulder torque in the pressing motion and reduce the rotator cuff and biceps tendon requirements for stabilization of the humeral head. Also, the incline bench press should be avoided. Repetitions should also be limited to avoid excessive fatigue, which can result in a loss of dynamic shoulder stability. Finally, weight machines such as a chest press, in which range of motion can be controlled, may be a safer option.

The shoulder press or military press is another popular exercise that can aggravate shoulder impingement. For the shoulder press movement, the behind-the-neck position should be avoided, as it places significant stress on the shoulder capsule and ligaments and places the shoulder in a tenuous position for instability. Bringing the shoulder into a more anterior position in front of the body reduces the stress to the shoulder capsule.

Oct 07, 2013 - 09:00 AM

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Graphic History of Antarctic Exploration

New web-based graphical representation of Antarctic Exploration
Category: General
Posted by: Rod

A web-based graphic showing the History of Antarctic Exploration has been created by specialist Antarctic cruise company Hurtigruten in collaboration with the United Kingdom Antarctic Heritage Trust, UKAHT.

The graphic shows a map of Antarctica and links the places first visited and track of the voyages. Starting in 1810 with the discovery of Macquarie Island by Australian Frederick Hasselborough and the South Shetland Islands by Englishman William Smith in 1819 the graphic moves through the years to 1917 when Shackleton rescued his men from Elephant Island.

Previous page: Trustees
Next page: Those who died


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Saturday, May 5, 2012

Mum Isn't The Word

This appeared in today's Mint Lounge

In Mrinal Sen’s Ek Din Pratidin and Ek Din Achanak – the first and last films of his so-called Absence Trilogy – the disappearance of a member of the family is a plot device used to examine the responses of those left behind. The same stratagem is to be found in Kyung-sook Shin’s novel, Please Look after Mother, the recent winner of the Man Asian Literary Prize and a bestseller in her native South Korea. There’s a marked difference in tone and aim, however, between those films and this book.

The person who goes missing is Park So-nyo, the 69-year-old wife and mother of five grown-up children, who’s parted from her husband at a Seoul subway station on the way from their village to the city where the children have settled. The reactions and memories of the rest are brought to us in chapters that shift between the points of view of some of the others in the family. There’s one of the daughters, a peripatetic writer; the eldest son, his mother’s favourite; the wayward father; and finally, the missing person herself. So-nyo’s absence, then, is a frame within which is revealed a portrait of her role in keeping the family together.

From the start, what’s emphasized is the mother’s utter selflessness and hard work when it comes to caring for others. She doesn’t let her various ailments – including a stroke and breast cancer – come in the way of doing whatever it takes: “She would grind red peppers in the mortar to make kimchi, sift through beanstalks to find beans and shuck them, make red-pepper paste, salt cabbage for winter kimchi, or dry fermented soybean cakes”. That’s just for starters: she also cultivates vegetables, scrimps and saves on expenses, breeds silkworms and brews malt.

The food and customs of rural Korea are vividly brought to life in the telling, pointing to what’s between the lines, an elegy for earlier ways of living now lost (like the mother herself) because of increasing urbanization. In this parable of change, for example, people prefer to holiday abroad during the full moon harvest festival instead of staying home to perform rites for their ancestors.  This is also the link between some of Shin’s characters and those in the short stories of Yiyun Li, relics in a fast-changing China.

What mars the novel is the tone of extreme sanctimoniousness when it comes to So-nyo. The attitude towards her is nothing if not reverential; at one point late in the book, there’s even a comparison with Michelangelo’s Pieta. In all this overstated pathos, the mother is shown to have few needs or desires of her own apart from the upkeep of her family – and the members of an orphanage, to boot.

In Sen’s films, the reactions of the families to the absence of one of their own are designed to uncover middle-class hypocrisy and insecurity. In Shin’s Please Look after Mother, the mother’s absence turns out to be a way of valorizing her motherhood above all else. Mum isn’t the word. Treacle is.

gallerywallah said...

LOVE the last two sentences. So, so true. This book was worse than an Ekta Kapoor serial.

Sanjay Sipahimalani said...

Hmm. It doesn't start with a 'K' though. Or is she over that?


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How to Add a into a Research-Paper

Many occasions, an easy article does not necessitate study because you’re really knowledgeable of what you’re writing about. Ultimately, after you submit your article, it’s going to be perfection personified. I’d three pupils in one single course turn within the indistinguishable particular article, errors and all. When writing an essay, the initial transfer is to settle on a subject. Writing is only a tiring task. Here are a number of handy advice on how you can start writing the essay samples on Shakespeare. Again, particularly when writing a research paper, this actually is quite, vital. This problem is the fact that, when studying such an article, it truly is unclear concerning what the student is appraising until close to the decision. A book proofreader understands what to search for.

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Inside my guide, we are going to function in your book proposal jointly. With the assistance of a fantastic name, you are able to determine a book purchaser buy your publication. Therefore, now you’ve composed your novel. If you’re considering this kind of writing, I’d propose this book. Writing a proposition could be the smart strategy to write a book. Your writing should to be informative and educative. Composing English isn’t a really simple work. Studying a growing number of novels can actually assist in enhancing the writing skills. Consistently use a very good writing method.

Thus, what does with obtaining a schooling online, of this want to do? properly.

Reader’s would prefer to determine on something imaginary, besides being tangible typically in most essays. Exactly the same holds true for an essay. Essay writing is genuinely somewhat less difficult as you might consider. As an essayist you must be clear. In the occasion your articles or documents are on the internet title performs a vital part in the complete trend. In case your issue has numerous facets, then an incredibly helpful essay writing tip is really to narrow it down into a specific place, and be sure to describe this in your introduction. This listing deals with numerous the simple to write essay topics.

Duplicate these ways for all your claims you need to find auditions and casting calls in.

So, the nine systems to start your own composition. Although creating an autobiography is a striving job ( showing each of the details concisely ), it may possibly wind up being a gratifying experience when all is stated and done. You are in venture by way of your publishing house to make certain the novel’s success. You’re additionally advised to supply a copy of your own illustrative article to your own friend, teacher or relative. Thus, you might have to do study to make them read for example find out what they’re considering, locate a guide collection and discuss current affairs. So, the preceding ten factors is a 1 stop solution for the choice issue of the largest essay writing company on line, if you’re going to follow them 1 by 1 you might surely find yourself with a very most useful composition in due period. This grants you to focus on only one little component at one moment as opposed to attempting to undertake a complete novel all at one moment. Perhaps it’s not that you’re a lousy writer, but you do not delight written down. An essayist isn’t a poet.

President’s office is also referred to for short, as potus..

The essayist should have largeness of mind. A terrific title sums up simply what the composition is about. It ought to summarize the primary purposes of your own essay and offer a last standpoint on the matter. The same holds true for both of the other paragraphs of a five paragraph essay. Don’t produce an essay without any purpose.

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Antony Maitland's Picture Gallery

Issue Date: 19/10/2006

Home Page

There follows a list of pictures gleaned from various sources:
click on the small images to download the full size pictures

1. Isabel Maitland Isabel Maitland, abt 1981 & 2004. Isabel Maitland
2. Oliver Maitland Oliver Maitland, 2007 & at Wedding. Ollie & Katya Maitland
3. Antony Maitland Antony Maitland, 1955, High Elms & May 2002, Old Salem, N. Carolina. Antony Maitland
4. Alice (Kirk-Owen) Maitland Alice (Kirk-Owen) Maitland: Abt 1965 in Greece? (EAC neg): 1986 (from photograph by Dorothy Collis) Alice (Kirk-Owen) Maitland
5. DS Maitland DS Maitland abt 1937 & two images combined from photographs about 1996 (410kb, colour) DS Maitland
6. RJL Parkes Rosemary (Parkes) Maitland, 1943 (I/D print) & abt 1937 RJL Parkes
7. Rex Kirk-Owen Rex Kirk-Owen (in Army uniform abt 1945) (framed photgraph, 34kB)
8. Betty (Chadwick) Betty (Chadwick) Kirk-Owen - from photo with mother, Creina Chadwick, in 1950's England.
9. Nathaniel Maitland Nathaniel George Maitland, Shanghai & in 1930's England. Nathaniel Maitland 2
10. Eleanor Poole Eleanor (Poole) Maitland 1895 (17th birthday) & 1960 (colour 55kB) Eleanor Poole
11. Arthur Parkes AJ Parkes May 1914 and 1965 AJ Parkes 1965
12. Ethel (Lister) Parkes Ethel (Lister) Parkes abt 1922 (with Rosemary & Bunch) (ajp48-24) & studio picture abt 1940 Ethel Lister
13. Frederick Kirk-Owen Frederick Kirk-Owen with children in 1926 and in 1947 at son's wedding. Frederick K-O
14. Florence Dolman 1 Florence (Dolman) Kirk-Owen as a "teenager" and with EA Chadwick in 1947 Florence Dolman 2
15. FAP Chadwick F.A.P. Chadwick (From "Iron Church" in clerical robes): with Creina FA Chadwick
16. Creina Henderson About 1920 - Creina (Henderson) Chadwick - from photo with EAC in 1950's England. Creina Henderson
17. Francis Maitland 3 Francis Maitland 3, abt 1893, studio & abt 1898, detail taken from group family photograph while on holiday in the Isle of Man Francis Maitland 3a
18. AJ Chapman Ann Jane (Chapman) Maitland, abt 1890, & with D-in-L Eleanor & DSM abt 1920 AJ Chapman
19. Otis Poole Otis Augustus Poole, 2 studio shots abt 1900, (Right hand in San Francisco) Otis A Poole
20. Eleanor (Armstrong) Poole Eleanor Isabella (Armstrong) Poole abt 1900 & with probably g/son Francis Maitland abt 1906 Eleanor (Armstrong) Poole 1
21. William Edmund Parkes William Edmund Parkes - early studio photograph (23 kB) + later photo abt 1915 William Edmund Parkes
22. Elizabeth Fryer& Family Elizabeth (Fryer) Parkes - With Family abt 1900 and studio portrait abt 1910 Elizabeth Fryer
23. Samuel Lister Samuel Lister - taken early 1920's with Mrs & RJLM & Bunch (ajp29a19)
24. Sarah (Palmer) Lister Sarah (Palmer) Lister - taken 1920's (ajp19c16) & Studio photo abt 1890 Sarah (Palmer) Lister
28. Jeannie Brown Jeannie (Brown) Owen, with son Frederick & daughter Jessie, abt 1899.
29. Frederick Jasper Chadwick Frederick Jasper Chadwick, from photo in EM Chadwick's history (1838-91).
30. Elizabeth (Stewart) Chadwick Elizabeth (Stewart) Chadwick (1839-94), from photo in EM Chadwick's history.
31. Ernest Henderson Ernest Henderson, poor print from newspaper cutting.
34. Harriet Carpenter Hariett (Carpenter) Maitland, from Oil owned by James Maitland.
41. Josiah Parkes 2 From Works photo (abt 1890) - Josiah Parkes 2 - ealier studio photograph Josiah Parkes 2
42. Catherine (Cope) Parkes 2 pictures of Catherine (Cope) Parkes, 1900 & 1890. (1822-1903) Catherine Cope
43. William Fryer 2 William Fryer 2. **"I think this is your grandfather Fryer." born abt 1828.
44. Caroline (Stait) Fryer Caroline (Stait) Fryer, born 1829.
49. George JH Brown George JH Brown, at 2nd marriage and aged about 50. GJH Brown
57. Frederick Jasper Chadwick John Craven Chadwick, from photo in EM Chadwick's history (1811-89).
58. Louisa (Bell) Chadwick Louisa (Bell) Chadwick, (died 1845) from photo of silhouette in EM Chadwick's history.
60. Jane Renwick Jeffrey Jane Renwick (Jeffrey) Stewart (1805-78), from pastel with mother, about 1810.
85. William Fryer 1 William Fryer 1: **faintly on back of photo "Mr Fryer snr?" - born abt 1806
86. Margaret Fryer Margaret Fryer, **"I think this is your great grand mother Fryer" - born abt 1806.
97. Elisha Brown Elisha Brown, aged about 50.
12. Jean (Renwick) Jeffrey Elizabeth (McConnell) Jeffrey or Jean (Renwick) Jeffrey, from pastel with daughter, about 1810.
97. Jonathan Bell Jonathan Bell.
12. Maria (Vaux) Bell Maria Ball, Nee Vaux.
122. Catherine (Rowley) Pakenham Catherine (Rowley) Pakenham with daughter, Kitty, later Duchess of Wellington, pastel abt 1778.
231. Edward Vaux Edward Vaux (1740-1803), G-father of Louisa Bell, wife of John Craven Chadwick snr.

Other Relatives:

01. Bunch Parkes Bunch (Parkes) Waddell abt 1944
02. Eleanor Lindley Maitland Lindley Maitland abt 1950 & in garden at Beamish Rd, 2003, with niece Isabel E. Lindley Maitland
03. CA Waddell CA (Waddell) Moore 1943
04. AR Waddell Angela (Waddell) Baldwin abt 1964
05. Freddy Chadwick Bill & Carolyn (Chadwick) Porter with Holly 1951 (84kB - from EA Chadwick's negs)
06. Posy Posy - our dog! 64kB
07. OM Poole Otis M. Poole about 1905 (70kB - from EI Poole album) & with Dorothy 1966 (colour) OM Poole
08. Otis Maitland Otis Maitland with 2nd wife Jean & stepson Aug 1964 (colour 35k)
09. EM Chadwick Major Edward Marion Chadwick abt 1875 (poor focus)
10. Samuel Dice Samuel Dice, father of Berta Dice.
11. Berta (Dice) Chadwick Berta (Dice) Chadwick, FAP Chadwick's 1st wife about 1895 (died 1902).
12. Freddy Chadwick Freddy & Gertrude (Nugent) Chadwick abt 1970, son of Berta Dice.
13. Andrew Wright Maitland, MD Andrew Wright Maitland, MD (1809-56).
14. JA Maitland John Andrew Maitland (1863-1946).
129. Captain Hon Frederick Lewis Maitland, RN Captain The Hon. Frederick Lewis Maitland, RN abt 1760.
** captions in original album by Elizabeth (Fryer) Parkes. Commander 840 Turbo Commander 840 as flown by AM 1990-2004. Property: 1. Giddy Hall - Air Photo detail from 1952 mapping survey. 2. Giddy Hall Front - Giddy Hall, front elevation 1899. 3. Giddy Hall Rear - Giddy Hall, rear elevation 1899. 4. Henderson House in Windsor (detail from a Web site) 5. Mitcham - Air Photo detail from 1952 mapping survey. 6. Mount Charles - composite photograph taken 1997 by A Maitland 7. No 5 Route Ghisi in the French Settlement of Shanghai ("Cravenhurst" 9/1910-1914), 8. Silver Grove Silver Grove, home of the Roberts. 9. Shaw's Brow 1, Liverpool, home of Henry Owen, print abt 1845. 10. Shaw's Brow 2, Liverpool, home of Henry Owen, print abt 1845. 11. Cherry Valley House, Ireland, home of Capt John Armstrong abt 1810. 12. Ashton Great House, 1832, Copy of an original drawing by Miss Storer. Private Collection. 13. Ashton Great House, 1964, Copy of an original photograph by the late T.A.L. Concannon. Concannon Collection. National Library of Jamaica.

14. The Gables Our house until 2003, "The Gables", east elevation, 1978.
15. Gables Rear, west elevation, 2002.
16. Dolwilkin Front Our New House, Lower Dolwilkin Farm, from the front.
17. Dolwilkin Back Lower Dolwilkin Farm from the back.


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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Bom Sabado Virus Hit 5 Lakh Orkut Users

1. So dont login to your orkut account,
2. if you wish to change password, use this

Bom Sabado is a cookie stealing virus.
If you think that you are affected by this virus please change your passwords immediatly and clean your browser cookies as-well. Its safe to keep away from opening your orkut until orkut official give out the status of the attack.

Bug  Status :Problem is Under Control, Bug Not Fixed (Keep Visit to know the status)

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Thursday, January 20, 2011

മകരജ്യോതി / മകരവിളക്ക് ... A compilation work from our Blogosphere (ബ്ലോഗുലകം)

"The light is an artificial fire clandestinely lit by the officials of Sabarimala temple, the Travancore Devaswom Board and Kerala State Electricity Board (KSEB) in connivance with some of the forest and police officials. It is created by burning a large quantity of camphor cubes kept in a silver platter.

On 28 May 2008, Kantararu Maheswararu Thantri, the head priest of Sabarimala, said in a press statement that there was nothing divine in the “Jyothi” and that it was man-made.

On a live news show on Indiavision channel G. Madhavan nair, former Devaswom Board President also said that the light was manmade and lit by Devswom board itself.

In May 2008, Rahul Easwar, grandson of Sabarimala chief priest clarified that it is a misunderstanding in the mind of misinformed people not informed devotees. Makarajyothi is different and Makaravillkku is different that's why there are two names. Makarajyothi is a celestial star while Makaravillakku is the symbolic deeparadhana in the hills, where there was a temple earlier.

On 29.05.2008 G. Sudhakaran, the state Minister for temple affairs gave his own justification for the perpetration of the fraud -”Makara jyothi and Makara vilakku are not the same things, the latter of which is man-made.

former employee of the Kerala State Electricity Board (KSEB) Shivananda said the light is not a miracle.”When I got transferred to the Pampa division of KSEB near Sabarimala, I got an opportunity to actually see this light being lit in 1981,” he said.”A Devaswom Board assistant engineer Karunakaran Nair, two policemen and two labourers had come there. They had one or two kilograms of camphor and an aluminium vessel. The light was lit by a KSEB driver VR Gopinathan Nair,” Shivananda explains. This version of the light is widely known in Kerala but rarely discussed.

The rationalists in 1981 to expose this massive fraud. The rationalists photographed the entire sequence of events leading to the very lighting of the ‘divine’ Jyothi. News channel NDTV 24 X 7 on 11 January 2007, when its correspondent, Rajesh Ramachandran, filed a report from Ponnambalamedu itself with appropriate visuals. Unfortunately, the reports of none of these exposes reached the teeming multitude that throng the hill shrine every season; especially those devotees belonging to the states other than Kerala. The governments (both the Left and the non-Left), with their eyes on the huge revenue brought into the state by the devotees, continued to perpetrate this fraud, season after season, year after year. Since 1982 this fraud has been committed under heavy police protection. The rationalist activists who attempted to visit the place again in 1982 and later were roughed up by the police. "

T.N Gopakumar's report (Keralakaumudi, 2008)
Click to enlarge

Yes, This is the place where it is lit. It is also visible on Google maps/earth.

Rahul Easwar, clarifying Makara Jyothi-Vilakku

Indiavison-Manorama News

Nothing divine about Sabarimala light

"Makarajyoti is believed to be a star which is visible from the Sabarimala Shrine and surrounding areas on the day of Makar Samkranti and its vision is considered as auspicious on that day by the devotees.
It has been reported in the editorial pages of some of the esteemed newspapers such as "Indian Express" that some tribals living in a remote area visible from the Sabarimala shrine light up a medium sized forest fire and the sight of this was originally mistaken as light from heaven. The tribals continue to light up the forest fire these days to keep the misunderstanding going. Now this belief has taken mythical proportions and now nobody dares to question the myth.
"Whereas Makara Vilakku is man made lights lit at the time of Deeparadhana on the eastern horizon, Makarajyothi is believed to be heaven made. It is being lit there in comemmoration of the aarathi performed by Devrishis and Devas at the time of revelation of His Divine Roopa by Manikantan. This event marks the culmination of the long and arduous pilgrimage to Sabarimala. This star disappears in the evening after the thiruvaabharanam (divine ornaments) are brought into the sanctum sanctorium and are placed on the Lord. The most significant rituals of worship are performed at the day of winter solsticeMakara Sankaranthi day (every 14th of January) . It draws the second largest number of pilgrims to a place of worship in India which is to this remote forest in the western Ghats in Kerala. Makara Rashi or Makar rasi (Capricorn Zodiac sign) is the tenth among 12 Rasi kootas in Hindu Astrology. The star makara is often mistakenly used to refer to the light appearing thrice on the hill next to the sanctum sanctorum, which is in fact the makara vilakku since vilakku, literally means a Lamp or light. According to the astronomical calendar the Winter solstice should be on December 21 and should be should be celebrated on the same day, but due to the unscientific method in the calculations in the ancient Vedic calenders, it is now usually celebrated on 14 January. The reason is that the wobbling of the earth was not known to mankind until 1891. The ancient astrologers who laid out the Sanskrit Zodiac in Vedic times did not know of the shifting of the north pole due the wobbling of the earths axis. So there is a delay of 24 days from the actual date of the winter solstice in the celebrations at the temple.
This star disappears as the final thiruvaabharanam (divine ornaments) are brought into the sanctum sanctorum and are placed on the Lord. The main worshipping rituals are performed at the day of Makara Sankaranthi (every 14 January) day. It draws the second largest number of pilgrims in the country. The makarajyoti (star) is often mistakenly used to refer to the light appearing thrice on the hill next to the sanctum sanctorum, which is in fact the makaravilakku (Lamp/light)."

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Earlier in the week we shared with you our plans to completely makeover the Apartment 34 office. Out with the old year, in with a new design – woot! As we dive into reinventing our workspace, we also have to part ways with some of the current pieces. It’s not that we don’t love them, they just won’t fit!

It’s not going to be easy saying goodbye to so many special items, but we knew we’d feel a million times better about letting go if they were going to a lovely new home. And that’s where you come in: it’s your chance to shop the Apartment 34 Office!

We’re holding a sale, much like a garage sale, except you need not live in the San Francisco area to partake in the party. In fact, we’re going to make this super easy for you by organizing the sale on everyone’s favorite addiction, Instagram!!

As a show of our love for you, dear readers, we wanted to give you an exclusive sneak peek at what will be available:

Think end tables, chairs, lamps, pillows and home accessories galore! Snag things from fabulous brands including West Elm, Conran Design & CB2, along with one-of-a-kind vintage pieces at what I promise will be amazing deals.

Here’s how this is all going to go down:

First things first, follow the sale on Instagram @shopapartment_34. Next Saturday, January 18th, at 9:00am PST, we’ll begin listing items and their price and they will be bought on a first come first serve basis. You’ll leave a comment with your email on the item you just have to have in your life. We’ll then email a Paypal invoice to the person who comments first and you’ll have one hour to pay. If you don’t respond, we’ll move to the next email on the comments list. Easy peasy! We’ll mark SOLD when the item is no longer available {unfortunately, this is open to U.S. residents only, buyers will be responsible for shipping costs and some larger items are available for local pick up in San Francisco only}.

There are a TON of good pieces to get your hands on. It’s so hard to see some of our favorites go but we’re so happy they’ll be enjoyed by people we adore!

We’ll be leaking even more sneak peeks of available pieces on the sale’s Instagram account- so be sure to follow @shopapartment_34!!

What do you think?

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text:
Sponsored by

8th Asia Pacific Conference on Exercise and Sports Science 2017

Symposium Speaker

Name: Ronualdo Dizer
Position: Professor, Dean, College of Human Kinetics
Address: UP College of Human Kinetics, UP Diliman, Quezon City
E-mail: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Ronualdo Dizer has served as the dean of College of Human Kinetics. He had been a condition coach of many basketball teams such as UP MENS BASKETBALL TEAM, KAINAN UNIVERSITY, TAIWAN. He earned Gold Medal in Basketball Trainer, Plaque of Commendation, 18th Southeast Asian Games in 1996 and Second Place: 1989 UAAP Season Coach of the UP Baseball Team. He has been a board member of many professional societies and civil organizations for example SPEDPHIL, Inc, SBP Samahan ng Basketball sa Pilipinas, OICA Office for Initiative in Cultures and Arts.  He published his researches in many journals and conference proceedings.

A Comparative Study on the Attentional Focus between PE 2 Students Doing Outdoor Physical Activity and PE 2 Students Doing Indoor Physical Activity

The University of the Philippines Physical education programs offers activities that are done outdoor and indoor environment. The researcher came up with an idea of doing a research comparing the participant’s attentional focus with engaging in physical activities conducted indoors and outdoors with the following objectives, to assess the participants’ attentional focus during exercise and to determine whether the respective environment has an effect on it and to be able to make a comparative analysis of the attentional focus between male and female participants engaging in outdoor and indoor activities. It is for the physical educators to compare and contrast attentional focus prevalent during physical activities in the indoor and outdoor environment. It will also reveal the effectiveness of outdoor or indoor physical activities on the athlete’s ability to respond and categorize stimuli during activity including the ability to narrow and broaden attention that is called attentional focus. Attentional focus questionnaire were divided and categorized were divided into Association, monitoring specific body sensations, Dissociation, focusing on the outside environment, and Distress, wishing the run/walk would end.

It can be inferred that participants who engaged in outdoor physical activity showed a significantly higher mean score for dissociation than indoor participants. This means that outdoor physical activity can be associated with responses of dissociation. However, since mean scores for association and distress were found to be not significantly different between outdoor and indoor participants, it can be inferred that the setting of the physical activity, that is, whether outdoor or indoor, has no significant bearing on the creation of association and distress responses. It can be said that association and distress during physical activity are independent of the location. Dissociation, however, is dependent on the location or setting of the physical activity.

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