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Drama · Italy

#801 I Knew Her Well (1965)

#801 I Knew Her Well

1965 // Italy // Antonio Pietrangeli

Criterion Release Date: 23 Feb 2016 (LINK)

I knew Her Well is a film I knew nothing about beforehand, it’s a blind buy release from the Criterion Collection as usual. But once again, I found myself unprepared to another startling, daunting viewing experience. At the end of the film, I’m exhausted, frenzied, unsettled. They are the feelings that I encounter a masterpiece which come out of nowhere but actually it’s always there, waiting a chance to be unearthed, to speak to another generation across space and time.

I Knew Her Well came out fifty years ago, shortly after Fellini’s La dolce vita (1960) and 8½ (1963), Pasolini’s Accattone (1961) and Mamma Roma (1962), Germi’s Divorce Italian Style (1961), Risi’s Il Sorpasso (1962), Antonioni’s Red Desert (1964). The landscape of Italian post-neorealist cinema was prosperous and substantial. Besides focusing on provincial or impoverished life, the economical growth was also reflected in cinema as the form of characters’ living condition and life style. A more consumerist-leading materialistic behaviour was readily observable in none other than the celebrity, paparazzi encapsulated film La dolce vita, a film that was often cited in description of Antonio Pietrangeli’s I Knew Her Well. Similarities were definitely present, while Marcello and Sylvia were surveying Rome under the attention of spotlight, Adriana (Stefania Sandrelli) was in endeavor to “success”.

To Adriana, success means fame. And by no means, fame equals to fabulous clothing and hair-style changing from time to time, surrounded by celebrity companions in various parities day and night. It’s her dream to be a model, an actress, a star. The film is actualized in episodic mosaic, resembled to La dolce vita, without any specificity in juncture or timeline. One moment Adriana was working in a beauty parlor, the next she was employed in a cinema theater, aspiring to appear on the screen. One moment she was hanging with friends, sliding through the night on a sofa atop a moving car, the next she was spending the night in a hotel with a man she only knew his first name Dario (Jean-Claude Brialy).

The title becomes a satirical reference, how well did Adriana’s male companions, agents, colleagues, acting teacher, neighbors, know her. Indeed how much did we as an audience know her after all. Or did she really know herself, her true-self, her id. There were never a dull moment in her social life, negotiating jobs through her leeching agent (Nino Manfredi) who would readily pimp her at any moment; dancing with a pubertal boy along her jaunty 60s pop music looping in the record player, with occasional kicks for the player to function. There was a moment of sweet and honest talk only when Adriana met a boxer (Mario Adorf), a non-intellectual “loser”, whom she just ditched as causally as she met him, unaware of how much meaning she had given him.

It seemed to be too much things invoked to feel emptiness, but when there was momentary quietness, we saw melancholy in her eyes. Perhaps Adriana’s life was so empty that she needed to be constantly occupied, perhaps she was too aware of her humiliation and exploitation that if she stopped and contemplated for a second, it would be unbearable. The cruelty was best exemplified on Baggini (Ugo Tognazzi), a has-been star and tap dancer who tried to persuade and impress his now famous friend Roberto (Enrico Maria) and a producer by dancing almost to heart attack. The scene was unusually long in enhancing the unsettling effect of witnessing how far a man could sacrifice his dignity with a slim chance.

IKnewHerWell_ESgrabs__0000s_0006_Layer 1.tif

Naive as she may superficially, Stefania Sandrelli portrayed Adriana of a deeper, self-reflexive layer with the capricious laugh and the uncanny glare. She was more dimensional than meets the eye. Director Antonio Pietrangeli often focused women under a changing Itay in his films, like the four prostitutes-turned-restaurant owners in Adua and Friends (1960) or the provincial woman placing an ad for her future mate in The Visit (1964). In I Knew Her Well, Pietrangeli produced a thought-provoking female character study, ending it with, though not an original one, a heart-breaking no-return decision from Adriana. Perhaps she finally able to know herself, and be her true-self, even with a great cost.

Film Rating: 4.5/5

One thought on “#801 I Knew Her Well (1965)

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The 11th Annual Fit Expo Los Angeles – Sampling the Various Ways to Stay Fit

Posted: January 31, 2014 in Events, Los Angeles, Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The Fit Expo Los Angeles returned for its 11th year running this past weekend at the Los Angeles Convention Center. Taking place over the course of two days in the South Hall, this massive expo showcases all forms of fitness and athletics with live competitions, demos, workshops, seminars, and more. Visitors could view various forms of fitness and non-arena sports, such as CrossFit, weightlifting, Zumba, Parkour, wrestling, (mixed) martial arts, and more. The massive expo hall contained enough vendors to fill multiple swap meets, but once visitors got past all the vendors, they found the various demo areas strewn about the expo hall. For example, on the far east side of the hall (left from entrance), an actual CrossFit competition took place:

Elsewhere near the entrance, a Zumba fitness demo went underway, allowing visitors to actually take part in this demo.

Near the back, visitors could spectate a Brazilian jiu-jitsu competition.

The MMA Pavilion featured a variety of demos, such as the “adult jungle gym” shown at the top of this post, as well as some bars pictured below.

On the west end of the hall (right from the entrance), a power-lifting competition took place.

The multitude of vendors varied in their goods or services offered. Some offered some sort of service, such as training or consulting. Most others offered merchandise, which included apparel, accessories, equipment, supplements, and more.

Unbeknownst to me, this expo also exhibited a handful of food & beverage vendors. None of these vendors offered stereotypical health foods – they focus on what matters, such as all-natural, non-GMO, gluten-free, low-carb, and full of nutrients, especially protein. In today’s culture, people slowly learn more and more about their food, and an expo like this would smoothly educate visitors about the right food to eat to stay fit.

The Fit Expo opens their doors to all demographics of all ages, not just those in the industry or those who work out frequently. Fit people love this expo because they can keep up with latest trends and news in the fitness industry. Casual visitors like this expo because they can learn the right ways to get fit, as well as feel motivated after seeing all the fit people around. The Fit Expo occurs semiannually in California – Los Angeles in January, and San José in July. When an expo like this comes your way, consider attending to see what it truly takes to stay fit, and gain first-hand experience from people who know how to stay fit.

  1. Julie says:

    I went and had a lot of fun. I didn’t see the Halo Top booth, but I love their lemon ice cream – haven’t had the others though! Lots of samples and great time seeing such a range of people who are trying to get fit or become stronger.

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Adding Weather to Your Site with jQuery and YQL

Adding Weather to Your Site with jQuery and YQL

If you’re working on a travel, news or other locally-oriented site, adding a display of the current weather conditions in the local area is the perfect touch. In the past, this was a relatively difficult task, involving server-side integration with weather APIs and more. Today, however, jQuery and YQL (a free web service offered by Yahoo) can be used to easily add a customized weather display to your site. In this article I’ll guide you through the process from start to finish.

Adding Weather to Your Site with jQuery and YQL

[tut demo=”” download=””]

I’ll show you two possible looks for the finished widget. The first uses Yahoo Weather’s icons, and is purely academic (unless you receive permission to use the icons from Yahoo):

Weather 1

The second look uses the public icons specified in the Yahoo Weather data feeds:

Weather 2

In both cases, hovering over the icon displays the text for the condition – e.g. Fair or Sunny or Scattered Showers.

Tutorial Details

  • Technologies: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, jQuery, YQL
  • Difficulty: Intermediate
  • Estimated Completion Time: 30-45 minutes

Introduction – The Power of YQL

In years gone by, using webservice data in a client-side web application required a proxy on a server (due to the AJAX cross-domain loading restrictions imposed by browsers), and often translation of data into JSON format so it would work easily with JavaScript. Today, however, there’s a much simpler option thanks to Yahoo’s free YQL (Yahoo! Query Language) service. What exactly is YQL? The rather broad definition given on the YQL site is:

The Yahoo! Query Language is an expressive SQL-like language that lets you query, filter, and join data across Web services. With YQL, apps run faster with fewer lines of code and a smaller network footprint.

Let’s put legs on that: YQL acts like a giant free proxy with powerful built-in data amalgamation tools. It can be used to easily integrate data from across the entire web into your client-side JavaScript applications. In other words, it’s a way to make really cool stuff while saving tons of time and work. If you aren’t familiar with YQL, you definitely should explore the YQL site. I won’t be going into much technical detail about using YQL in this tutorial; instead, I’ll just show what’s needed for the specific tasks we have.

Using YQL To Get Weather Conditions Data

Now let’s look at the case at hand – getting weather data. One of the best sources of free weather data is Yahoo Weather’s RSS feeds. However, this data can’t be loaded via standard AJAX because it would require cross-domain loading. In the old days, we would have had to start setting up a proxy on our server. Today, though, we can use some YQL magic. Because YQL has the weather data built-in, we don’t even have to build any URL-based queries. We can use a simple query like this to retrieve the current weather and forecast for Manhattan:

SELECT * FROM weather.forecast WHERE location='10001'

To see this in action, go here and use the Test button. Note that you can choose the output format – XML or JSON.

In this tutorial, though, we don’t need the forecast. Here’s the query we can use to get just the current weather:

SELECT item.condition FROM weather.forecast WHERE location='10001'

To see this in action, go here and use the Test button. Here’s an example of the output we receive:

 "query": {
  "count": 1,
  "created": "2011-06-23T19:54:07Z",
  "lang": "en-US",
  "results": {
   "channel": {
    "item": {
     "condition": {
      "code": "26",
      "date": "Thu, 23 Jun 2011 3:09 pm EDT",
      "temp": "70",
      "text": "Cloudy"

In the object, we find several items. First, code specifies the icon associated with the current conditions. The date property indicates the last update time. Finally, temp and text describe the current temperature and conditions respectively.

If you want the temperature in metric units, you can use this query:

SELECT item.condition FROM weather.forecast WHERE location='10001' AND u='c'

All of this sample code is great, but you probably want data for a location other than Manhattan. If you want to retrieve a US-based location, all you need to do is replace 10001 in the location parameter with the ZIP code of the desired location. If you want an international location, it’s a little more tricky.

For these locations, you’ll need to determine a special location code that uses the format CCRR0000, where the CC represents the country code, the RR represents the region code (just XX for most countries), and the 0000 represents the station ID. For example, the location code for Paris, France is FRXX0076. The easiest way to find an international location code is by going to, searching for the location, going to its local weather page and noting the URL. Suppose you searched for Madrid, Spain. The URL in your browser for the local weather page looks like this:

Note the code at the end – SPXX0050. This is the location code we need. So, the condition query for Madrid’s weather in metric units would be:

SELECT item.condition FROM weather.forecast WHERE location='SPXX0050' AND u='c'

Now that you understand where the data comes from and the query needed to get it, we’re ready to start writing code.

Getting Started with Code

You’ll need an HTML file to follow along with the tutorial. You can place it anywhere on your computer, and no testing server is needed; all code will be client-side. To simplify the tutorial, we’ll use inline CSS and JavaScript, but you’re welcome to use external .js or .css files if desired.

Tip: Want to experiment without cluttering up your computer with lots of files? For this type of tutorial, it can be helpful to use jsBin or jsFiddle to follow along. These free online tools let you experiment with HTML, JavaScript and CSS without having to create any files on your computer. Best of all, you can save, version and share your experiments.

If you’re starting with a blank HTML file, here’s the code you should have to start:

<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN"

  <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" />
  <title>Weather Widget</title>


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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sweet Tilda

At last I have finished another Tilda. My dear friend Patti Jo gave me this stamped image and I think it will be one I will be getting. I think she is adorable. I made this for another dear friend who is 93 today She is actually an artist so I hope she likes this card. I have coloured her with distress inks.
The flowers are simple ones that I have made and put some stickles on.

Distress ink colours.
hair:  walnut stain, antique linen and black soot
face:  tattered rose and cheeks worn lipstick
dress:  stormy sky and dusty concord
shoes: stormy sky.

You can click on the images if you need to see them bigger.

Hugs Marion

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Tilda with bird

Another go at the distress inks. I am so determined to get it right.
I'm a gal of few words so here it is.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Tilda's Easter Baket

I have been having fun making this great woven Easter basket from here
I made the flowers from the Nelli Snellon punches and the leaves from Martha Stewart punch. This Dinner Tilda was one of my first Tilda's from Magnolia stamps
Tilda is coloured with distress inks. I must say I still haven't really got the hang of them yet but hey! I'm having fun learning. Tilda is sitting inside a Spellbinders frame.

No Easter eggs in there yet.
Hugs Marion

Thursday, March 4, 2010

April Showers

Well it has been a long time since I have put a card on but finally have one. This one is called April showers. I have coloured this one with distress inks. I have been practicing but still need a lot more practice. The flowers I made are called Wattle. They are native to Australia.
Here in Australia on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland the rain hasn't stopped falling for days.
There are floods everywhere. Fortunately we live on the top of a high hill. The grass here is usually brown from the heat and dryness. It is nice to see the green grass like my home land of New Zealand.


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José Aguirre Achá

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Anne-Marie Corbin-Schuffels

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Little Life, Giant Joys

5 Jun

Early last year, I began volunteering for a local nonprofit that supports literacy for visually impaired children in developing countries. This is where I was introduced to Sudha. Whip-smart, thoughtful, and uncannily perceptive, Sudha had arrived in the United States from India in 1998. She worked as an engineer in Silicon Valley (surprise, surprise!) until an event occurred that changed her life. Sudha began to lose her sight. The decline was steady and unstoppable, and soon, she could only perceive light and shade, and hazy shapes. Her condition compelled her to quit her profession and I can only imagine how challenging things must have been for the young family.

She took refuge in her immense faith in Sai Baba and spent her days supported and loved by her spouse, daughter, and giant circle of Baba devotees who popped in and out of her home all day to check on her, sing bhajans of praise, and volunteer for worthy causes. A magnet who was never short of goodwill or company, Sudha attracted well-wishers to her by the force of her optimism, faith, and incredible ability to deeply listen to words and the sentiments behind them.

In the course of our work together, we brainstormed, strategized, chatted, laughed and swapped unique cultural nuggets in the manner of people from very different backgrounds. I’d drive her to events, subjecting her to ‘80s American music that must be anathema to someone with a Carnatic vocal background. She’d laugh at my ardent meat-eating ways. I would rant about how most Indians simply don’t consider non-religious charity a part of citizenship. We would talk long and deep about karma, life purpose, and what drove us to believe in an underserved cause. A beautiful singer, she frequently lent her voice and heart to fundraisers for our nonprofit, singing devotional songs that made the audience choke with emotion. I, who didn’t know what a Hari Katha was before we met, was stunned at the energy she generated across the auditorium—not just through her vocal chords, but from a deeper, divine place.

In the later months of last year, I saw much less of her, engaged as I was with family weddings, visits, and travel. This past February, Sudha went to India for eye surgery and treatment, in the hope of improving her condition. The last few months have been a whirl of the everyday, and we weren’t in frequent touch. Until she called 2 days ago. Patiently, she heard all my news, getting excited over the small measure of positive updates I had to share. Finally, when asked how she was, she stated without fanfare–in typical Sudha style—that her surgery had been successful, and she could see her own hand!

Between my exclamations of delight and tears of gratitude and her quiet joy at this restored gift, she asked to see me—for the very first time.
“I want to see you, your face,” she said.
“There’s a lot to see!” I laughingly warned her.
And I haven’t stopped smiling since. We plan to meet next week, along with the wonderful colleague through whom we were lucky to be acquainted, and I can’t wait to celebrate this thrilling blessing that has me sniffling in gratitude and wonder and overall bleeding heart foolishness.

So each time you read about one more horrific rape, or yet another mass shooting, whether the California drought alarms you or the murder of innocents by right wing organizations makes your flesh crawl–or you’ve just had a decidedly crappy day and are perched high on your pity pot–think about Sudha and her miracle, and know that there is joy and justice on god’s good earth.

If you have a message for my friend and colleague, feel free to leave it in the comments space and I’m happy to relay it to her. Now hand me a tissue, will you? Unfortunately, through boon and bane, the consistency of snot remains exactly the same.

*deafening trumpet*

Aah. Much better.

16 Responses to “Little Life, Giant Joys”

  1. Sue June 6, 2014 at 6:00 am #

    Congratulations to Sudha!

  2. dipali June 6, 2014 at 8:35 am #

    How wonderful! So heartwarming to read this, OJ!

  3. Dancing Fingers Singing Keypad June 6, 2014 at 11:05 am #

    Thanks for sharing this positive and heartwarming story! 🙂 Heartiest congratulations to Sudha! I hope she also gets to read this post and all your other posts too just as we readers get to ‘see’ you through your enjoyable words!

  4. Aunty G June 8, 2014 at 1:16 am #

    One dynamic person meets another
    And all barriers are rend asunder
    Then a slight lull
    Which wasn’t dull
    And then, Miracle announced, bolt with thunder!
    Sweet Sudha, very pleased to meet you
    All OJ’s friends win our hearts too
    Your story brings tears
    And then joyful cheers
    You’re a shining example to us privileged few!

  5. sukanyabora June 8, 2014 at 6:56 pm #

    What a feel good story. Hope there is a sequel to this- write a post about the meeting, pliss.

  6. Deepa June 8, 2014 at 9:48 pm #

    OMG! This is so very inspiring OJ. So very. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed to even write coherently. What a wonderful thing that your mutual love for volunteering brought you guys, such kindred souls, together.

    And Sudha, I’m going to hold your example very close to heart, because you see I’m fighting my own sorry battle with cancer and some days don’t care anymore if it just claims me right here, right now. I need to hold on, just a little more and wait for some light eh? Isn’t that what you’d want to tell me? I think it is:-)

    And what was that drought you’re referring to OJ? You mean to say all the joyful copious tears I’m shedding at this heartfelt post of yours haven’t yet filled up our sorry ass bay area reservoirs!

  7. Aunty G June 9, 2014 at 9:26 pm #

    Deepa, my dear, yes, just hang on
    A few hours away is a new dawn
    May The Force be with you
    For strength and courage true
    On Life’s chessboard, refuse to be the pawn!

  8. i*Kan June 10, 2014 at 2:20 am #

    What a lovely story! Congratulations to Sudha! Look forward to hearing about your meeting.

  9. Revathi June 10, 2014 at 2:26 am #

    What a wonderful story of hope, OJ. such a strong woman, please give her a hug. 🙂

  10. Orange Jammies June 10, 2014 at 5:38 pm #

    Sue: I’ll pass them on. 🙂

    dipali: Glad you think so too!

    DFSK: We just spoke and she can read font 40! Sudha, bless her, ‘sees’ people–no words required. 🙂

    Aunty G: She made me weep again with her magnanimity of spirit today, until I firmly chided myself on putting my eyes to better use than tears.

    sukanyabora: Hadn’t thought about it, but glad to comply. 🙂

    Deepa: Dear Deepa, save those tears and corral your inspiration toward winning your own battle (says her Lady of Perpetual Weepies). I will share your story with Sudha, and I know she, and everyone else reading this, wants you to emerge successful. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Big hug.

    i*Kan: Will share!

    Revathi: Absolutely plan to. 🙂 One from you and another from me.

  11. Deepa June 12, 2014 at 11:05 pm #

    Such a sweet, uplifting ditty from Aunty G. Thank you G, straight from my heart to yours.

  12. Aunty G June 13, 2014 at 10:00 pm #

  13. iamcommenting June 24, 2014 at 9:35 pm #

    Hi, I tried to post a comment – but it did not go through – trying again. Since I loved this post so much. I was having tea after a long day and I happened to come to your post by chance…and it was so heart warming. I enjoyed knowing about your friendship…I sometimes meet people – even Indians – who are so different in the way they grew up, in wave length – that I wonder how can it be that two humans cannot connect in any way – it just needs time/work – in that vein – I could sense the warmth in your friendship despite being from different sub cultures…and I loved the line “I want to see your face” – it was so moving. Your story about Sudha gives me hope for Deepa too – I wonder about her often and I keep hoping she is doing better – and wonder if I will may be bump into her some day etc. I really hope such miracles happen for her too. And for the many others who are going through really tough times in life. It gives each of us who fret about the small things some perspective on life. That there are many blessings – both big and small – to be so grateful for…

  14. Orange Jammies July 15, 2014 at 3:21 pm #

    iamcommenting: Thank you for your warm comment, Noon! I hope for all these things too.

  15. Sumana September 17, 2014 at 6:41 am #

    I got goosebumps reading this. A lovely post about friendship across differences, of courage, faith, hope, and yes, miracles!
    I’ve become a fan of your writing and over the last several months, I’ve read through several posts and enjoyed (and laughed out loud many times) every single one. Yet, this one above stands out among the rest. Congratulations to Sudha!

  16. Orange Jammies October 30, 2014 at 12:46 pm #

    Sumana: Thanks, Sumana. 🙂

Here's a bar of chocolate. Now talk to me. :)

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Summer’s List by Anita Higman

Summer’s List

Summer’s List By Anita Higman

In recent years creating a bucket list has become one of the ‘cool’ things to do, but what if instead of creating your own bucket list, someone did it for you and challenged you to complete that list. Would you be able to? That is exactly what Summer is asked to do by her grandmother, a wise woman full of godly wisdom.

I’m torn about how I feel about this book. It was a good book and I enjoyed the story but it was hard to get into the story and connect with the characters. The story was lacking in areas and didn’t quite get to where I wanted it to. I will try more of Anita Higman’s books, but as for Summer’s List I will have to stay middle of the road with it.

I received this book complimentary through the Litfuse Publicity Program in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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Saints and Feasts: Saint Alypius the Stylite of Adrianopolis

Saint Alypius the Stylite was born in the city of Adrianopolis in Paphlagonia. His mother, a Christian, was widowed early, and she sent her son to be educated by Bishop Theodore. She distributed her substance to the poor, then began to live an ascetic life near the church as a deaconess.

St Alypius, from his early years, wanted to devote his life to God and yearned for the solitary life, although Bishop Theodore would not give him permission to do so. Once, when St Alypius was accompanying his bishop to Constantinople, the holy Martyr Euphemia (September 16) appeared to him in a vision, summoning St Alypius to return to Adrianopolis and found a church in her name.

With contributions offered by believers in Adrianopolis, St Alypius did build a church in the name of the holy Martyr Euphemia, on the site of a dilapidated pagan temple infested by legions of devils. Beside the church, under the open sky, the saint erected a pillar over a pagan tomb. For fifty-three years St Alypius struggled upon the pillar, praying to God and teaching those who came to him.

The demons which infested the pagan cemetery fell upon the ascetic by night and pelted him with stones. St Alypius, wanted nothing to stand in the way of the attacks of the spirits of darkness, then even took down the boards that served him as a roof, protecting him from the rain and wind. In the face of the saint’s conquering steadfastness, the demons fled the place forever, which had been sanctified by his deed of voluntary martyrdom.

Fourteen years before his death, St Alypius was no longer able to stand. He was compelled to lie on his side because of the weakness of his legs, and endured grievous sufferings with humble gratitude. Around the saint’s pillar two monasteries sprang up: a men’s monastery on the one side, and a women’s monastery on the other. St Alypius introduced strict monastic rules for both monasteries and he directed both monasteries until his death. St Alypius reposed in the year 640, at age 118. The body of the venerable stylite was buried in the church he founded in honor of the holy Martyr Euphemia. The relics of the saint of God healed many of those who came in faith.

Troparion — Tone 1

You were a pillar of patient endurance, / having having imitated the forefathers, O Venerable One: / Job in suffering, and Joseph in temptations. / You lived like the Bodiless Ones while yet in the flesh, O Alypius, our Father. / Beseech Beseech Christ God that our souls may be saved.

Kontakion — Tone 8

The Church glorifies and praises you today, Alypius, / as a perfect example of virtue and the boast of ascetics. / Through your prayers, grant remission of sins to all who venerate your life and your struggles.

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Eastern Orthodox Logos

Greek Οrthodox website and web radio

Saints and Feasts: Martyr Polyeuctus of Melitene, in Armenia

Saint Polyeuctus was the first martyr in the Armenian city of Meletine. He was a soldier under the emperor Decius (249-251) and he later suffered for Christ under the emperor Valerian (253-259). The saint was friend also of Nearchos, a fellow-soldier and firm Christian, but Polyeuctus, though he led a virtuous life, remained a pagan.

When the persecution against Christians began, Nearchos said to Polyeuctus, “Friend, we shall soon be separated, for they will take me to torture, and you alas, will renounce your friendship with me.” Polyeuctus told him that he had seen Christ in a dream, Who took his soiled military cloak from him and dressed him in a radiant garment. “Now,” he said, “I am prepared to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Enflamed with zeal, St Polyeuctus went to the city square, and tore up the edict of Decius which required everyone to worship idols. A few moments later, he met a procession carrying twelve idols through the streets of the city. He dashed the idols to the ground and trampled them underfoot.

His father-in-law, the magistrate Felix, who was responsible for enforcing the imperial edict, was horrified at what St Polyeuctus had done and declared that he had to die for this. “Go, bid farewell to your wife and children,” said Felix. Paulina came and tearfully entreated her husband to renounce Christ. His father-in-law Felix also wept, but St Polyeuctus remained steadfast in his resolve to suffer for Christ.

With joy he bent his head beneath the sword of the executioner and was baptized in his own blood. Soon, when the Church of Christ in the reign of St Constantine had triumphed throughout all the Roman Empire, a church was built at Meletine in honor of the holy Martyr Polyeuctus. Many miracles were worked through the intercession of St Polyeuctus. In this very church the parents of St Euthymius the Great (January 20) prayed fervently for a son. The birth of this great luminary of Orthodoxy in the year 376 occurred through the help of the holy Martyr Polyeuctus.

St Polyeuctus was also venerated by St Acacius, Bishop of Meletine (March 31), a participant in the Third Ecumenical Council, and a great proponent of Orthodoxy. In the East, and also in the West, the holy Martyr Polyeuctus is venerated as a patron saint of vows and treaty agreements.

The Polyeucte Overture of French composer Paul Dukas is only one of many pieces of classical music inspired by the saints. It premiered in January of 1892. French dramatist Pierre Corneille has also written a play, Polyeucte (1642), based on the martyr’s life.

Troparion — Tone 4

Your holy martyr Polyeuctus, O Lord, / through his suffering has received an incorruptible crown from You, our God. / For having Your strength, he laid low his adversaries, / and shattered the powerless boldness of demons. / Through his intercessions, save our souls!

Kontakion — Tone 4

When the Savior bowed his head in the Jordan, / the heads of the dragons were crushed; / when Polyeuctus was beheaded, the deceiver deceiver was put to shame.

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Posts Tagged ‘Tate’

Happy eighth birthday, Tate!!

February 20, 2014

It is hard to believe that pur journey to parenthood started eight years ago when Tate was born.

He was quite excited.

At this point in time in 2006, we were in Burkina Faso on a missions trip. We did not bwcome aware that he would be available for adoptioom for another few weeks.

This marked the beginning of our adoptom journey.

End of the hockey season

March 24, 2013

After a long season, it’s over.

We were at the rink for a 7:00 game this morning.  They won quite handily.

It meant we had to be back for another game at 1:15.

They played a team they had beat soundly before.  Not this time.  They were down four goals, scored three, and then the other team scored two.

It was a tough end to the season.

Oh well, there’s always next year.

Seven years ago

February 20, 2013

We celebrated Tate’s seventh birthday.

When he was born, we were in the midst of a 9 week trip to Africa.

At that point in time, we had been waiting for about four years to become parents.  Our story is told in a number of parts, here, part 1, part 2, and part 3.

Where has the time gone?

Our little man

June 27, 2012

Sandra wrote this on facebook yesterday:

Tate doesn’t cease to amaze me. (more…)

Mothers day gift

May 9, 2011

We went shopping for a mother’s day gift Saturday morning.

Sandra’s iPod (my old one) had unfortunate incident a few weeks ago and is dying.

Tate and I went looking and found a good deal on an iPod. I told him not to tell Mommy about the gift.

This morning he said that we got a something you can use, then a game, them lots of games. Technically, not telling, but pretty much sane effect.

Five year olds are so much fun.

Growing boys

April 8, 2011

Today Tate had his first birthday party where he was left. It went well.

Braydon is also starting to stand a bit as he is starting to stand for a few seconds while he is standing against walls. It will be interesting to see how long it takes before he starts to walk.

He is starting to lose his baby fat as well. He is getting more toned and gaining strength in his trunk as well.

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Category Archives: Unexplainable Encounters

Heavy rain again

I always have this love and hate relationship with rain, especially heavy rain or thunderstorms on weekdays’ mornings. Why is this so? With the heavy downpour, Singapore’s weather temperature will drop quite drastically, especially during this end of year rainy season.

It will be so nice to be at home, enjoying the comforts that both the bed and blanket offer. For once, the temperature will not be hot and humid. However, since the downpour takes place on a weekday morning, I will need to force myself to wake up and prepare myself. My hubby will then send me to work. This is so disheartening!

This morning was one such good example. I forced myself to wake up and get ready to work. It was raining so heavily that even with the screen wipers, visibility was still very poor. Thus, my hubby drove slowly. Upon reaching my office building (at around 6.30 am), I had not gone up to my office immediately.

Instead, I sat at the entrance foyer, munching my carrot cake and playing with my ipad at the same time. It was so cold sitting down there. Some might question why I had not gone up to my office immediately since its raining so heavily, with strong cold winds blowing in and raindrops splattering in.

My reason was that the sky was still very, very dark. Once again, some will question what does this has to do with why I had not gone up to my office immediately. Well, I do not want to disturb “them”. Furthermore, the probability of having an encounter with them when I am alone on rainy days is very high.

When the sky has brightened up substantially and the rain getting smaller, I gather all my things and headed up to my office. When the lift opened at my level, the lift lobby still look gloomy with very little sunlight penetrating through the glass windows at the end and a lighted corridor (the security guard has gone up ahead to on the lights along the corridor for me earlier). I went in to the corridor, passing by all the locked classrooms.

As I was about to reach the door of my office, I heard some sounds coming from the locked classrooms. My God! I was alone at this level and as it was still quite early, no one has reported to work yet at the other levels in this building. The sounds sounded as if some one was arranging the tables and chairs in the classroom! Another sound sounded like the “boom boom” sound as if someone was rushing here and there!!!

This was so eerie! I almost lost control of myself and wanted to chant out loud in the corridor near to my office. I quickened my pace and quickly dashed in to my office.

Phew, in my own comfort zone area again!

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Scary or Reassuring? Friend or Foe?

The subject title for this post is often a question that I have asked myself after every encounter. There were times whereby I was really frightened of “THEM” (this is the term that I refer to the spirits and ghosts) and I could sense the tension in the atmosphere. However, there are also times whereby I was actually comforted by them. Yes, comforted… as if they know how I feel at a particular moment!

As per my previous write-ups, most of my encounters had taken place in Center “C”. Center “C” is a short building with only 3 levels. We were operating at the 2nd and 3rd levels.

At that time, the company that I have worked in did offer certain IT professional examination. The candidate would need to register, make payment and book an exam slot online via a particular IT website. Once these steps had been done, my company would receive notification that “so and so” would be coming to Center “C” to take a particular IT professional examination. Once the candidate arrived, he or she would be brought to a small room with only 2 computers (lets call this room as the “examination room”).

While the candidate was attempting the examination with one of the computers, one of us will be located at a nearby small room (lets call this room as “invigilation room”) doing our invigilation duties. A security camera was installed in the examination room and it was linked to a computer in the invigilation room. The staff on duty would carry out the invigilation duties via the computer in the invigilation room.

One of the stories that I have heard was that one of my ex-colleague was doing her invigilation duty in the invigilation room. There were a total of 2 candidates doing 2 different types of IT examinations in the examination room. She was doing her invigilation when out of sudden, she saw a lady in white standing in between the 2 candidates in the examination room. This lady’s back was facing the security camera. My colleague quickly went over to the examination room (just 2 to 4 steps away from the invigilation room) with the intention of questioning this lady why she had entered the examination room without permission.

As my colleague entered the examination room, to her surprise, there was no sign of the lady in white in this room! Both the candidates were attempting their examination. Should the lady had left the room, my colleague would sure to be able to see her! One thing to note here was that my colleague realized that the temperature in the room was extremely cold for a while!

My colleague went back to her invigilation room to replay the security tape again. She was very certain that she had seen a lady in white in the examination room! To her dismay, when she replayed the tape, there was no sign of the lady in white! This was really a big mystery to most of us! My colleagues had actually attempted to replay the tape also. None of them had seen the lady in white. As my colleagues know that I am quite “sensitive” towards this area, they had attempted to keep mum of this incident in front of me… -_-|||

As secrets can’t be kept forever, soon, I came to know about this incident.I was at first filled with dread whenever it was my turn to do the invigilation. I would open the door of the invigilation room (My theory was that should there be any encounter, I could escape fast. =X). After a few rounds of invigilation, this incident was then slowly being forgotten… My habit of keeping the invigilation door opened remained…

I recalled that I had just broken off with my 2nd ex-boyfriend at that period. I was feeling quite miserable. To make things worse, he was working in the same company as me… just that he was working at Center “P”. Occasionally, he will need to pop by at Center “C”. In order to avoid him, I had volunteered to do the invigilation instead. There was only one candidate registered on during that slot.

Once the candidate had reached, I had shown him to the examination room for him to begin his examination. I then retreated to the invigilation room. I started to recall what my colleague had informed me earlier. She had saw my ex-boyfriend shopping with another lady when we were still in a relationship. This was too much for me to take in at that moment! I was feeling very devastated! My pride was also being trampled on!

One thing led to another… Soon, I started to recall from the memories of the so-called honeymoon period to how the relationship ended. Tears started to flow down from my eyes. The built up tension in me after the breakup was too much for me to bear! I was so engrossed in my misery that for the first time in my life, I had actually not able to sense the subtle change in the atmosphere!

It was then I heard, well, let’s call it a song… It was definitely not noise… It sounded as if someone was singing… However, although this song sounded loud and near to me, I was unable to make up the lyrics. The melody was very smoothing. I raised up my tear-streaked face and started to pay attention to this song. I closed my eyes and shut down my brain cells. I allowed this song and its “lyrics” to engulf me and seek solace in it. I did not know why but somehow, I was comforted by this song.

This song had lasted for around five minutes. By the end of the five minutes, I was feeling calmer and very much at peace with myself. This was when the song started to fade off gradually… I ran out of the invigilation room to check who was the one singing. However, there was not a single soul along the corridor. I went back to the invigilation room. The candidate was still busy attempting his examination. However, I did notice then that there was a slight drop in the temperature of the invigilation room (I had not adjusted the temperature of the air conditioner at all!).

“Its THEM!” I thought to myself.

“Thank you!” I called out loud in the room, showing my appreciation to “them”.

To my surprise, I heard some fading strains of the song then. I smiled. I knew that “they” were encouraging me to be brave and look forward. No point crying over spilled milk now. A very warmth feeling surrounded me…

This incident has, indeed, made some impact on my life. I am able to pick up bits and pieces and continue on with my life. I no longer trying to put up a brave front in front of my colleagues whenever the topic of my failed relationship was touched on accidentally. I had accepted that he was my past and I no longer avoided him when he popped by at Center “C”. Most importantly, I have learnt to let go.

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Posted by on November 18, 2014 in Unexplainable Encounters

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Another paranormal encounter

This was another encounter when both my colleague and I had been scheduled to work in the afternoon shift. After my last encounter (please see “2nd paranormal encounter”), whenever I had been scheduled to work in the afternoon shift, I will make sure that either my colleague on duty or myself to go up to the 3rd level to close all the unused classrooms before 8pm when there were still many people around.

I recalled that we had managed to lock Level 2 right wing and the whole of Level 3 quite early that night. We decided to book and share a cab home since our intention was to stay work overtime. We were in our office (located at Level 2, left wing), trying to clear as much work as possible while waiting for our cab to arrive. It was a very peaceful time when out of sudden, I heard some chain-like sound.

At first, I thought that I was dreaming or hallucinating. I paused for a while, paying full attention to my surrounding! I was not dreaming! Neither am I hallucinating! The sound sounded as if someone was trying to lock or unlock the lock at Level 3 impatiently (the main glass door of Level 3 was locked up with a chain and a lock). I looked at my colleague and it seemed that she had also heard the sound.

We communicated to one another in silence and we looked out from our office ‘s glass door to see if there was any one at the Level 3 main door (A fleet of stairs, leading to Level 3 main door, was located just next to my office). To our dismay, there was no people there! The moment we had looked out to check on the Level 3 main door, the sound stopped and vice versa!

Okay.. this is really spooky! “Not again?” I groaned to myself. I told myself that since we were at Level 2, it should be fine… My colleague started to crack some jokes to liven the atmosphere. We started to pack our things at the same time.

Out of sudden, the sound from Level 3 stopped. What caught me totally unaware was the spooky sound coming from the left corridor of our office! This sound was at first quite soft. I was quite unsure what I had heard at first. The sound started to get louder and louder. This was when I had this creepy, pickling sensation! I knew then something was definitely not right!

I was then able to hear the sound clearly. It sounded as if someone who was wearing those type of army boots walking heavily and loudly along the corridor, echoing the sound of heavy and loud footsteps. Apart from this, it sounded as if that someone was in chains and was dragging the chains while walking!!! Prisoner-of-war?!?!?!

My God!!! I looked up frantically at my colleague! She was still busy packing her things. From her body language, I knew that she had not heard the sound at all! I freaked out when the sound came nearer and nearer to our office (my table was located the nearest to the corridor)! I told or rather, shouted, to my colleague that it was time to go home! I grabbed my bag, off the lights (the switch was just next to my table) and dashed to the office door with my colleague!

The moment my colleague locked the office door, we made a dash down the fleet of stairs to the ground level! It was then my colleague asked me what happened. She had grabbed her bag and was ready to go off the moment I told her it was time to go home. I told her what I had heard and the creepy sensation that I had felt when the sound became louder and nearer to the both of us! She had confirmed that she had not heard the sound of the chained footsteps, just as I had expected!

From that day onwards, we did not dare to stay back late in office any more!

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Posted by on November 12, 2014 in Unexplainable Encounters

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2nd paranormal encounter

Most often than not, if I have been to a temple and there is a god procession going on, the medium will often give me a weird look. Their look really make me feel uncomfortable… I have been trying to find out why I always feel so uncomfortable.. but till now, I have not managed to find the answer. Hence, I do not dare to go to temples alone… Hence, I am quite puzzled of my recent dreams of visiting the temples.

Okay, back to the topic…

It has been a while since I last updated this category… The last paranormal encounter that I have blogged about is about how I encountered a white spectrum at the Center “P” lift lobby.

I was being told before that my “yin qi” is quite strong and thus, attracting “them” easily to me… Today, I will be blogging on one of the encounters at the other center, center “C”. This is, coincidentally, the place where I have almost encountered at least a paranormal encounter once a day… If you have looked in another angle, it is as if this is a kind of “training center” for me. Hahah

Some background information.. Center “C” is a 3-storey building. Most of the administrative and customer services offices are located at the 2nd floor, left wing. Academics offices are located at the left wing of the 3rd storey. Classrooms are scattered around in Level 2 ( left and right wings) and Level 3 (left and right wings). the library was located at the centre of level 3.

Okay, back to the narration…

I was then working as one of the student service executive and was working on shifts. If I am in the morning shift, I will then need to go around and unlock all the locked classrooms in the morning. Should I be in the afternoon shift, I will need to go around and lock all the classrooms at night before I am able to go back home.

This encounter that I am going to relate took place during one of my afternoon shifts… I remember that all of us (my colleagues and me) were very busy. There were a total of 2 of us on afternoon duty that day. As there were not much classes on the 2nd level after we were free, I had managed to lock all the classrooms before I had gone up to Level  3. There was a room rental activity at the 3rd level, right wing. There is a side glass door at the right wing that needed to be locked before we could lock the main door located at the center of the level 3.

Once at Level 3, I proceeded on to check the classrooms and academics offices… I even switched off the lights in the toilets. The classrooms in the left wing are also locked. One academic colleague (lets call him “Collin”) was in one of the academic offices. He has informed me that he will ensure that all PCs and lights will be properly off before he went off (he was the last academics on this floor; the rest had already gone home…). I had gone to another academic office to ensure all PCs and lights were off when out of sudden, I had that “disturbing” feeling again!

In just a few seconds ( I do not really have the time to react), I had heard a loud door “splam”! I jumped in shock! The sound came from one of the toilets from the left wing…

Who? I thought to myself? Was it Collin, I wonder.. I quickly ran (yes, I ran!) to the academic office where Collin was at. I guess my intention was to check if Collin was in the office… just to confirm my suspicion… Yup, true enough, he was seating at his desk doing his work! He was surprise to see me looking so flustered. I told him of the sound that  I had heard and asked him if he had seen any one coming back to the office. Guess what?! He had not heard the loud door “splam” and he was still alone!!!   -_-|||

As a gentleman, Collin had volunteered and accompanied me to check both the toilets… Oh God!!! The lights in the female toilet was on! Apart from Collin and me, there was no other people in this left wing! It was so creepy! I had off the lights beforehand personally! I looked at Collin and he looked at me… We both knew something was not right! I once again off the lights in the toilet in the presence of Collin. He then went back to pack his things to go home… I guess he had no mood to stay back to finish up his work…

I, on the other hand, was not as lucky… I would need to close the right wing and main door as well. As I passed by the library, Collin had informed me that he going back home. In other words, apart from the participants from the room rental activity, I was practically alone in level 3… Once the room rental activity had ended, I quickly locked the classrooms in the right wing. As I was kneeling down and locking the side door of the right wing, I heard a lot of noise from the library behind me! It was as if there were a lot of people conversing with one and another and a lot of activities had been going on! I froze at the position for a few seconds!

I plucked up my courage and slowly raised my head to view the reflection on the side door (can see the view of the whole library via the reflection). The reflection showed that the library was closed and dark! The moment I raised my head, the sounds stopped! When I lowered my head to focus on the lock, the sounds “came back”!!!

“What the…” I thought! I practically ran out of the main door of level 3, quickly locked the main door and ran all the way down to level 2! My colleague, in our office at Level 2,  was shocked to see me ran all the way down! She was shocked to see that I looked so pale. Knowing a bit of my “background”, she immediately knew something was not right. The both of us quickly packed our bags and then locked the office and gone back home!

What a night!

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Posted by on November 5, 2014 in Unexplainable Encounters

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Dreams again!

Once again, I have been having weird dreams currently.

Two of the recent dreams are more of seeing myself in a temple like environment feeling very frightened, praying to the Gods for their guidance to lead me out of the “trapped predicament” (as in the dreams) to safety.

This was quite weird as I was not “trapped” in the dreams as far as I could remember. Not very sure why I behaved in such a way in my dreams. Anyway, in the end, I was able to get out of the “trapped predicament” and got to safety…

This morning, I have another weird dream… This time round, this dream was no longer associates with the Gods. It was associated with “THEM”.

I remember I was frantically looking for the path to my new house with my hubby. He had been leading the way to our new flat. Our new flat was a symbolism of safety in my dream and we were trying our utmost to get to safety soonest possible.

We had passed by many twists and turns of roads before we were able to see the path to our new flat. Along the way, we did see many CIDs, yes, CIDS (not sure why this character appeared in my dream.. hahah) along the way… Seem as if something big had happened and they were doing some investigation.

Once we had seen the pathway to our new flat, the scene of my dream shifts and changes…

I have then seen myself alone in a totally unfamiliar environment in this new scene. Out of sudden, I was under attack by “THEM”! I was caught totally unaware!. It was as if I was being ambushed! “THEY” were everywhere! They looked like human… just that they have this additional ghoulish aura surrounding them. One look at them, you will know the difference!

I recall I was feeling really panicky! This was the first time that “THEY” really get so close up to attack me! I was fighting very wildly back and trying to get out of the ambush when suddenly I recalled that I have something besides me. I should make use of that to fight back. Chances of winning this “battle” will be high.

I made several wild attempts to grab that something besides me.  Once, I had touched it, I grabbed it and attacked back! I was then jerked awake!

Guess what?  That something that is beside me and has been used as a weapon by me is actually my bolster! And… yes, my poor hubby has been hit by the bolster!!!

Oops!!!!!   Sorry Dear… =P    My poor hubby! He is sleeping soundly before my bolster hits him… =X

Posted by on October 27, 2014 in Unexplainable Encounters

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1st real life paranormal encounter

As mentioned in my introduction, I always have weird, unexplainable dreams. Most often than not, the main theme of my dreams do come true! 😰

My first encounter of paranormal activity occurred on a Sunday. I remember clearly that I was scheduled to work and was chatting happily away with my colleagues at, well, let’s call it Centre “C”. I am actually stationed at another centre, let’s call it “P”.

On every Sunday, all staff from Centre “P” scheduled for work, will be stationed at Centre “C” and they will need to ensure all rooms and lights at Centre “P” to be properly locked and off respectively. Both Centre “P” and Centre “C” are just situated next to one another.

It was my turn to work on Sunday. I was required to go back to Centre “P” later in the day to ensure all rooms are properly locked and all lights were off. I remember that when I was about to go over to Centre “P”, there was a thunderstorm brewing furiously. I recall vividly that I do not have a good feeling. As I was a ‘greenhorn’ then, I did not pay attention to such tell-tale details.

I went up to Centre “P” alone. As I was checking the rooms along the corridor, a creepy sensation caught me unaware out of sudden! This creepy sensation was getting stronger and stronger! It was as if I was not alone in the corridor and that my movements were being watched! My imagination ran amok. Was there a stalker or pervert hiding in a corner watching me, I wondered. I told myself to hurry up and go back to Centre “C”.

Just as I was waiting in the lift lobby to go back to Centre “C”, what greeted me out of sudden caught me unaware!

A spectrum of whitish, errie light greeted me. For a moment, I have foolishly thought that my eyesight had deteroriated again! I was foolishly looking blankly at the specturm of light and then at the dim light nearby. I even wondered insanely that how come my eyes could see white light whereas the light should be yellowish-orange in color! 😓😓😓

I blinked and closed my eyes for a while. The specturm of white light is still there (now to think about it, it does look like the shape of an upper body of a human). This time round, thank god that my wits are back, I just feel that something was not right somewhere. I purposely tilted my body to face another angle in the lift lobby. To my dismay, the specturm of light followed my movement and reappeared within my sight again!

This time round, this spectrum of light became enlarged, almost taking the shape of a human body but with no feet!!! OMG!!! 😱😱😱

At that particular moment, I did not scream or shout. However, this did not mean that I was brave! I was too paralyzed with fear to think properly! I kept telling myself that this spectrum of light was not ‘those things’ and tilted my body to another angle, nearer to the lift button.

This spectrum of light once again followed my movement and was quick to be in my sight again! This time round, it took in the form of a human head! At this stage, my brain seemed to crease functioning and my body took over the control. My mind was totally blank, facing the spectrum of light. However, my left finger was furiously pressing the lift button automatically. It was as if my body could no longer withstand the stupidity of my brain at such a crucial stage! 😄

The moment the sweet sound ‘ding’ was heard, my legs ran into the open lift and my fingers seemed to coordinate perfectly by pressing ‘level 1’ button and ‘closing door’ button. It was when the movement of the lift was felt, my whole body leaned against the wall of the lift for support.

Once the lift reached level 1 and opened the door, I dashed out from the lift, all the way to Centre “C”. I knew I was behaving like a crazy woman but this was my least concern. The aim was to get to safety and safety then, was Centre “C” with my colleagues.

Now that I think about this incident, I am very sure that my facial expression and body movements, when I was at the lift lobby, must be priceless and comical. Hahah 😅

I rarely react in such a brainless and ignorant manner. Perhaps I have accidentally provoked or upset ‘them’ on that day. Now to recall back, I guess ‘they’ do not mean any  harm. Mischievous maybe.. but not evil. Should ‘they’ had any malicious intention towards me, I don’t think I was able to last so long alone with ‘them’ at the lift lobby. Neither will I be able to make it back safely to Centre “C”.

After this incident, I have not encountered any such encounters until the end of my 2nd relationship. Then, these other encounters come in full blast…

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Posted by on October 13, 2014 in Unexplainable Encounters

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Introduction – Unexplainable Encounters

Hi there,

Since this blog is about life experiences, I guess there is no harm adding this ‘unexplainable encounters’ catergory to this blog.

This catergory will  be touching on my personal experiences with the supernatural encounters. Since young, I am quite sensitive towards this area. Why? I am not sure also. I recall having all sorts of weird dreams when I was young.

I was often chased after by the demons or spirits in my dreams. I often see myself running frantically from THEM in these dreams. Their agenda was always the same. They want my life! Sometimes, I would wake up screaming away, breaking into cold sweat…

It was until much later in life that I have learnt how to protect myself against these dreams. I am not sure how I have done it… I have actually gotten sick of running away from them. In 1 of the last few dreams, I have actually confronted them and challenged them defiantly right to their face that if they are really that capable, then come and get me! Well, I guess I am getting really irritated of these dreams and THEY are really trying my patience! After that, I have actually told myself calmly that it is time to wake up!

Similar reactions in last few dreams. Whenever the ‘me’ in the dreams started to feel the presence of them, the ‘me’ in my dreams will call out to my brain, telling me that this is a dream and I should wake up.

Not all my dreams are about horrifying demons and spirits. I do at times dreamt of gods and deities. However, most of these dreams are quite vaque and I would not be able to recall much once I have woken up.

I have also dreamt of the people around me once in a blue moon. This is a very worrying trait. Most often than not, these dreams are not good dreams. The theme of these dreams will always portray my friend is in trouble. The scary part is that this theme will always come true!!

Luckily, I seldom dream now, ever since I have worked in my current company. Its about, say, 10 years already that i seldom or even rarely dream. It is as if I have outgrown from the dreaming stage.

However, it is not so simple.. Some how, to me, although the dreamlike terror reign has been over, another type of terror era has begun.

Its as if the demons and spirits from my dreams have escaped and decided to barge into my life in reality. I have endless of encounters ever since. Sometimes, words that come out from my mouth, words that are spoken out without thinking, have come true as well!

Whenever I relate my encounters, some of my friends do not believe in it. They felt that I am being paranoid. I will be posting most of my encounters in this blog soon and you will be the judge. ;p

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Posted by on September 29, 2014 in Unexplainable Encounters

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6 Grades of Diamond Clarity

In 1953, a team of experts were tasked to create a universal grading scale to judge all clear and colour diamonds.   They came up with five grades (with a sixth added later) in which diamonds were judged for any flaws or blemishes at 10x magnification.   Today, these six grades are still in use by diamond professionals around the world.

1. Flawless (symbolized as F)

The ideal clarity for diamonds, flawless means that the stone has no blemishes even when looked at under 10x magnification.   Only the most rare of diamonds are able to reach this level.

2. Internally Flawless (symbolized as IF)

To garner this rating, a diamond must have no flaws on the surface.  The aspect that determines whether a diamond is considered flawless or internally flawless is if blemishes seen beneath the surface of the stone when looked at 10x magnification.  This rating was added in the 70s as a reaction to the many diamonds that were being cut smaller than necessary to take out any possible flaws that would affect its clarity rating.

3. Very, Very Slightly Included (symbolized as VVS1 and VVS2)

This level refers to when minute blemishes can be detected on the diamond’s surface under 10x magnification but are still difficult to see. If the blemish is detectable from the bottom up it is graded VVS1. If it is detected from the top down, the diamond is graded VVS2.

4. Very Slightly Included (symbolized as VS1 and VS2)

Very Slightly Included means that minor flaws are seen at the 10x magnification scale while still invisible to the naked eye.    The size of those flaws will dictate whether it gets rated a VS1 or VS2.

5. Slightly Included (symbolized as SI)

This level gets to the point of the flaws are easily seen on the surface under the 10x magnification.    Though these flaws still can’t be seen with the naked eye and does not impact the diamond’s sparkle.

6.  Included (symbolized as I)

There are three levels of the Included rating – I1, I2 and I3.   I1 means the flaws can almost be seen by the naked eye.  I2 means they can actually be seen by the naked eye.   I3 means not only can the flaws be seen by the naked eye, they actually impact the spark of the diamond.

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Building Walls: Managing Pain

Building Walls: Managing Pain

You are a builder. Sometimes, you are careful in your layout and design, carefully lining each detail up, making sure everything is strong and secure. Sometimes, you just slap everything together and hope for the best. But everyday, as soon as you wake up, you build. You build a wall inside your own head. You build a wall to hold it back. You build a wall because if the pain isn’t behind it, the rest of your brain can’t function in front of it.

Sometimes you are able to build the wall near the back of your head, with lots of room for you to think up front. Those are the mostly-good days and the mostly-good days are as good as the days get, for you. They are the smile-almost-reaches-your-eyes days. The go outside-even-though-it-hurts days. The days that are so much better than any other days that it’s important to remember them, especially because they only come once in a while, because forgetting them has gotten you locked up in hospitals that don’t allow you to have shoelaces or razor blades. You must enjoy every moment of the mostly-good days before they are gone, or before they are taken away.

Sometimes you have to build the wall in the middle of your head, because the pain and your ability to think and function are fighting for half of everything you are, evenly matched. Those are the mostly-bad-but-normal-for-you days. The smile-anyway-because-pain-is-contagious-and-you-don’t-want-to-ruin-everyone-else’s-day days. The fake-it-til-you-make-it days. The days that you’ve learned to live with, because it’s your life and life is not always sunshine and rainbows. On these days you try to remind yourself of the mostly-good days. It’s the possibility of the mostly-good day you need to remember, not the day itself, because hope is the essence of maintaining a purpose-filled life but longing and pining and whining will be the destruction of your carefully controlled reality. So you must remember it is possible but not wish for it to happen, because that is when the breaking happens.

Sometimes you are forced to build the wall in the front of your head, with barely any room for thinking or functioning, because the pain is demanding every tiny bit of space there is to dominate your body. Those are the bad days, the precursors to the worst days. The walking-on-eggshells days. The might-as-well-go-back-to-bed-now days. The days that, if they come back-to-back, make people forget you exist and even real friends ask where you’ve been because you haven’t left your house in you can’t remember how long and even picking up the phone is too much energy expended that could have been spent on something important, like finding food or crawling to the bathroom. You must not do anything, anything at all, that will knock the wall down and you spend every moment tense and in fear that it will fall down anyway. Cooking, working, cleaning, socializing…—the list of things that you can not worry about gets longer the longer you’re forced to maintain the wall. You are a slave to the wall. Keeping it standing is all you live for.

Sometimes, though, you can’t build the wall at all, or you do build it but a bad day knocks it down and you’re left trying to re-build in the middle of the day without the benefit of a full night’s sleep. You just can’t do it. It’s not for lack of effort. Your entire life is about that wall. But the wall can’t be built if there is nowhere TO build it. And the pain is in your whole head and your whole body too. There is no room for a wall, and no functioning to even be trying to save. Those are the worst days. Those are the might-as-well-cry-it-won’t-make-it-hurt-worse days. The disappear-into-your-hole-and-wish-someone-would-save-you days. The bang-your-head-against-the-wall days. The pity-party days. Those day are an eternity of unendurable, unending minutes that last an eternity that you somehow must get through, so you get through them the only way you can: second by second. You only allow yourself to focus on one second. Just make it through one second. That’s all you can ask of yourself. When you make it through, you allow yourself to bask in the victory before you focus on the next second. And once you get through that one, you focus on the next one. And the next, and the next. And eventually, after forever, you’ve gotten through a minute. And so you fight your way through your day, minute by minute, second by second.

Thankfully, most days are just mostly-bad days that make life hard, not worst days that make life impossible, so on the average day when you wake up you’re able to build your wall. First you evaluate your pain and if your hours of sleep helped you or hurt you. You ask yourself Where will the wall be today? Are there any remnants of yesterdays wall left over for you to build on or with? Did the defenseless hours of sleep leave you with higher pain and less ability to build, or refresh your energy and dampen your pain? Depending on the answers, you might roll over and go back to bed—building is going to require more energy than you have right now—or you might start your wake-up routine.

But every day, rain or shine, you are a builder or a wall inside your head. The wall is meant to keep the pain at bay, and it does a better job of it some days than others. There is no end in sight so you just keep building, every day building, quietly hoping that some day it might end, but never allowing that hope to overcome you. So you build, and build, and build.

Breaking Stigmas: Dependence vs Addiction

Breaking Stigmas: Dependence vs Addiction

“So what changed?” My friend asks, flabbergasted. “You’re up, wearing makeup, out of bed, walking around, acting like you’re feeling fine!”

“That’s because I am feeling mostly fine, or much better than I used to.” I say and I proceed to tell her my story.

It’s a story I’ve told, in some form, many times in the last three years, for two reasons. One, I’m alarmingly frank about my life, which is why you get this article, and two, the change my friends saw in me was so immediate, so cataclysmic, so life-altering that they couldn’t help but ask.

Three years ago I was in a mental hospital after suicidal tendencies, on 8-10 different medications, none of which were working, completely drained emotionally, mentally, and physically, and in mind-numbing, nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing pain 24-hours a day. I spent my days clinging to my parents, scared to be left alone, unwilling to leave the house, and in bed 24 hours a day. My life was in absolute shambles, and it was because of pain. Pain, that monster that won’t even let you get peaceful sleep at night, had completely taken over my life.

I spent two different weeks at inpatient clinics for my mental health, over a month at specialist hospitals for my pain, and untold hours curled up in my bed, crying my eyes out, just begging for someone to please, PLEASE, take it away. I was in the ER at least twice a month for pain relief because I couldn’t manage it at home. During this time I was being taken care of by my parents, thankfully, or I truly think I would have ended my life.

I was in mandated therapy and during this time one of my psychiatrists asked me why I’d never stayed on narcotics when they helped me so much. Her question surprised me. I knew that narcotics helped me, but I was ashamed of that. I believed that narcotics were unequivocally bad, and I didn’t want my doctors to think I was any less of a person than they already did. I was already their hardest patient to deal with. To add a narcotic addiction to it was unthinkable. The few times I’d been temporarily on narcotics I’d gotten off of them as quickly as possible so that I wouldn’t get addicted. On top of that, my neurologist was absolutely against narcotics; her fists curled up into little balls and her shoulders tensed up when she talked about it she hated it so much, so I knew they were off-limits. Why had I never stayed on narcotics? Because I had been taught that narcotics were bad and there was no good way to take them.

Then she said something that blew my mind. She said “you know, in the pain psychology community, we look at it differently. We say that addiction is when someone uses or does something, like alcohol or porn or gaming, to the detriment of their health and functioning. Dependence is when someone requires something to function better. If you started narcotics and they helped you actually function and live a normal life, we wouldn’t consider you addicted. We’d consider you dependent.”

Mind. Blown.

I thought about almost nothing else for a few weeks and then I made the decision that changed my life.

I’d rather live a short life than endure a long one.

I’d rather put pills inside my body that messed with my organs than continue on as I was: visiting the ER twice a month, fighting against suicide, needing to be taken care of by my parents, never seeing friends or holding a job.

You see, my life as I was enduring it then was not worth living. I hated it. I was miserable. I had tried over 100 non-narcotic medications to manage the pain and the side-effects were horrifying, plus they hadn’t worked. My mental health was frayed to the point of disintegrating, and my poor family was completely occupied in taking care of me, unable to live their own lives. I was alive, but just barely.

And so, with the approval of my psychiatrist, I made an appointment with a pain management doctor. He took a long look at my file and then saw me twice before he offered me a contract. I read it carefully and promised to follow every rule. Then I signed and he handed me a piece of paper that was my ticket to freedom and functionality. And that’s what it was: the narcotics made me functional.

I should also add that I’m not ONLY using narcotics to treat my issues. I have a well-rounded regimen of healthy diet, lifestyle, treatments from both Western and Eastern medicine, and essential oils that I use. All of them together make me a whole, functioning person. I’m not wholly reliant on the narcotics, even though I am physically dependent on them.

It’s extremely important to say that I am careful to take the meds exactly as prescribed, never a minute before I am allowed to take them or more than I am allowed to, and to keep careful track of my meds so I don’t lose any. I do not lie about how much I’ve taken or ask my doctor for more than I need. When I go to the ER, which is rare now, I bring my contract with me or tell them about it so they know. My doctor has commented multiple times that I am taking them exactly as I’m supposed to and he’s not worried at all about me becoming addicted. I don’t show any signs of addiction, but I am clearly physically dependent on the meds. When I go off of them my body goes into withdrawal.

The difference between dependence and addiction is important. According to The American Pain Society in their document “Definitions Related to the Use of Opioids for the Treatment of Pain” most pain patients treated with opioids, while likely to become physically dependent and tolerant of opioid medications, will not become addicted. Their definition of addiction is “a primary, chronic, neurobiologic disease, with genetic, psychosocial, and environmental factors influencing its development and manifestations. It is characterized by behaviors that include one or more of the following: impaired control over drug use, compulsive use, continued use despite harm, and craving.” and their definition of dependence is “a state of adaptation that is manifested by a drug class specific withdrawal syndrome that can be produced by abrupt cessation, rapid dose reduction, decreasing blood level of the drug, and/or administration of an antagonist.”

It is a tough thing to talk about, narcotic dependence and addiction, and in the world of Spoonies many people have strong feelings about it one way or another. My experiences may not be the same as someone else’s, and while I don’t personally struggle with addiction, I would never want to advocate for someone to start narcotics and become addicted to them. This blog is only about my experiences with being freed from the stigma of narcotics, and thus freed from the pain that has plagued me for years. I wanted to share how I was freed of the fear that taking narcotics would be worse than suffering through what I was going through. I also want to break the stigma that narcotics can’t be taken responsibly. My doctors will testify that I am someone who has taken them responsibly for three years, and I know of a few others who are doing the same. I also know of at least one person who is taking them irresponsibly, so I am not blind to the problems of addiction. I’m just saying I’m a girl who was nearly dead with misery before I was taking them and they have given me my life back. They aren’t all bad for everyone, and I feel like I should testify to that.

I refuse to be ashamed of needing narcotics to function. Narcotics, along with the love of my family, saved my life. With their help I am living life rather than enduring it

Within six months of taking narcotics on a daily regimen I had a job, I was living in my own place, I had a social life, I was volunteering at church again, my depression was under control, and I was happy.

I. Was. Happy.

The pills do not make my life pain free. I still have bad days, but they are not every day like they were before. In the hours that I’m not on the meds, I’m just as bad as usual, so I just cram my day into the time that I’m on the pills (because I don’t get enough to get me through a whole day). But the important thing is that they mask the pain enough for me to function. They masked the pain that I’d been spending 13 years trying to conquer, and that is splendid. That is amazing. That is more than enough.

***If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, as opposed to physical dependence, please get help today. One hotline number is 1-877-769-0445. It is toll free.***

Surviving Second by Second

Surviving Second by Second

It’s on nights like these that I reach deep inside for hope, trusting that there is some piece of surviving, some bit of energy that I’ve overlooked in my previous struggles, a stowed bit of vigor that I might call upon to get me through this night. A few extra spoons tucked away for a rainy day. But I find tonight, like most nights, nothing in my stores of strength; no extra spoons anywhere to be found. I have nothing left to draw on. So instead I must stretch out what little energy I have and make it last until I’m able to sleep.

Spoonies are familiar with this struggle, this unfortunately familiar twisting of insides and stretching of self. We fight this battle every day. We spend weeks rationing bare numbers of spoons where others have them to spare. For us, each day is a struggle, each hour is an agony, even a minute is an eternity. Sometimes getting from one second to the next is all we can do. But we do it, and if we are wise, we celebrate it. We celebrate each second we survive without giving up, because each second we survive is one second more than we thought we could.

So tonight I celebrate as I survive each second, because one second is all I can handle at a time.


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• What will I learn?
  • Who will I be taught by?
  • Who is this course for?
  • What can I do after?
  • From decision-making, to the science of memory, to how gender stereotypes impact our interactions, our Psychology course will expand your critical thinking and give you the chance to discuss key issues and theories in the modern-day study of Psychology. You’ll also look at the practical side of experimental methodology and the handling of data. You will leave equipped with the tools you need to be successful in studying psychology, or any social science, at a higher level.

    This course will introduce you to university-level approaches to the study of Psychology. This year’s course will focus on developmental disorders (especially autism) and the biological aspects of psychology and mental health.

    One of our 2016 tutors focused on social psychology and discussed psychological disorders and psychopathology, as well as elements of social psychology and developmental psychology

  • All our tutors are current Oxford and/or Cambridge PhD students and postdoctoral researchers. You will have the opportunity to learn about their look at original research and our tutors will take you beyond your school curriculum to investigate your the area of their subject at a higher level - this is great preparation for university/college study! You may even have the opportunity to learn about your tutor’s original, unpublished research.

    Alex, one of our tutors this year, is completing his PhD in Experimental Psychology at the University of Oxford. He has a Bachelor’s in English Language and Literature from the University of Oxford and a Master’s in the Psychology of Mental Health from the University of Edinburgh. His current focus is in the area of developmental disorders and linguistics.

    Heidi, one of our 2016 tutors, is completing her PhD in Psychology at the University of Cambridge, working at the MRC Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit. Her research focuses on the psychology and neuroscience of language.

  • This course is ideal  for students considering studying Psychology or any biological or social-science related subjects at university, and teaches a method of thought and research that is beneficial to all disciplines.

    You might also be interested in our Molecular Medicine or Human and Animal Behaviour courses.

  • Our students go on to studying Psychology and other related subjects, either at universities across the UK, or abroad, including in the US. Previous Psychology alumni have gone on to study at destinations such as Maastricht University in the Netherlands, and Durham University in the UK.

  • What are the requirements for applying to this course?

    As an academic summer school, we invite all students to complete a short application form and short interview with one of our staff before booking. We do not expect students to have studied Psychology before, but you should be interested in how the human mind works and keen to get to grips with some data.

    English Language requirements: all students need to be able to engage with the course material, which normally means a level of English equivalent to an IELTS score of 5.5 and above, or B2 in the Common European Framework. Don't worry if you don't have a formal qualification - when you chat to one of the team they'll be able to assess your level and answer any questions you may have.

    Not sure about which course is the best for you? Our friendly team is here to help – contact us and we will help you choose the subject that is best suited to your needs.

Studying Psychology at OISS

Students doing Psychology at OISS benefit from a combination of small group and one-to-one tutorials, assessed work and individual research. Below is an example of a typical day at the Summer School, to give you an idea of the challenging variety that we offer our students.

 0800   Wake up and go down to breakfast with my friends from my staircase. Have some toast and cereal to start the day, and grab a piece of fruit for a snack later.
 0915   Go to my small group tutorial with our tutor Lily. We have been introduced to various areas of psychology, including cognitive, developmental, and social psychology. Today we discuss a social psychology experiment and the ethics involved.
 1100   We have some free time before lunch so me and my friends drop by our rooms to put our books away before we head to a nearby sandwich shop to grab lunch - a cool mixed salad from the Covered Market. We then head to Radcliffe Square to sit outside the Radcliffe Camera (or ‘RadCam’ to locals) and take in the amazing architecture.
 1300   I’m back in the accommodation now for my Independent Research Time. I pick up my notes from the tutorial and start planning my essay on ethical studies - it’s really interesting to think about the methodology involved in experiments.
 1500   I meet up with the ACs and other students for a Drama Workshop. I do some drama at school and it’s been really fun getting to do more with students from around the world.
 1800   We head out to a local Italian restaurant for dinner - a change from the food in the accommodation, and a chance to see more of Oxford in the evening
 1900   Time for my seminar on Current Affairs. Everyone at the Summer School gets to pick a seminar series to take part in and I chose this one because I love watching the news and learning more about the world.They’re always a great opportunity to learn more and debate contemporary issues.
 2100   After popping back to my room to drop off my stuff, I head to the common room to watch a movie with everyone.
 2300   Go back to my room and fall asleep straightaway - ready for another packed day tomorrow!


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Selling with eBay Stores

With an eBay Store, you'll get everything you need to create a central shopping destination where buyers can learn about you and all the products you sell. You'll receive powerful tools for designing your Store, plus marketing and reporting features, and dedicated toll-free customer support. Learn how to get started with eBay Stores.

Solve a problem

It's a good idea to start by becoming familiar with how eBay Stores work. On the eBay home page, click the Stores tab and then click the Open a Store link on the right side of the page. Review the information on the What's an eBay Store? page. When you're ready to open your Store, click the Open a Store now! button.
While you're away, you want to make sure your buyers don't have a negative shopping experience by buying items and unexpectedly waiting a long time to receive them. Before you go on vacation, go to your Messages in My eBay, select Change settings in the left column, and then scroll to the Store vacation settings section. Learn more about placing your Store on vacation.

Help topics

Getting started with eBay Stores
With an eBay Store, you can display all your products in one convenient location.

Fees for eBay Stores
Find out what it costs to sell with eBay Stores.

Designing your Store

Selecting your Store's categories
Organise your Store so buyers can easily find your items

Promoting and advertising items
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Customising your Store's appearance in listings
Brand your Store with your own custom design

Marketing your Store

Promoting your eBay Store
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Putting Store items on sale
Sales are a great way to draw attention to your listings.

Using email marketing
Create compelling emails that promote your Store to potential buyers.

Creating promotional flyers
Create free promotional flyers to print and distribute.

Using traffic reports to understand your business
Which areas of your Store are receiving the most visits? How are buyers finding your listings and moving through your Store?

Managing your Store

Placing your Store on vacation
Going on vacation? Find out what to do with your Store while you're away.

Closing your eBay Store
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But in the history of China's watches and clocks, there is no one can be comparable to the panda gold coin collection value of the national treasure panda culture and art gold table published.The most annoying is a man with gold jewelry, Sven, another man's learning as long as in the neck wear a yellow croaker boss type of necklace, wearing yellow and glittering gold ring finger, his image will be greatly reduced, become vulgar. orologi economici All of this watch is used in automatic movement cal.79320, 44 hours of power reserve, 30 meters waterproof. orologi economici Said what when the watch and the cat's eye joint, tabulation of extremely accurate to carved cat's eye, how will not luxurious, not catching?Since the end of June's grand shell electronic publishing geak watch and a home from Shenzhen entrepreneurial companies reflecting interest technology in August 8, released the second paragraph smart watches inwatch, another source said hand travel industry popular figure La Gang online CEO Wang Feng investment Tuman technology, will also recently released a smart watch t-watch. This is the news released, those manufacturers launched copycat count, there are at least a dozen.

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