text:
No Storks Need Apply

ABC’s blog, “Political Radar” has this headline for one of its stories: Sex Ed for Kindergarteners ‘Right Thing to Do’ Says Obama

My first thought was, “well, yeah, it is”. Second was, “I bet the idiots are freaking out about this.” Both, of course, are correct.

Browsing through links on memeorandum, you’d think that Obama wants to give teh kiddies pr0n and condoms. With a *wink wink* and a *nudge nudge*. GMAFB. What Obama said was that age appropriate, scientific information should be given. ABC requested clarification because, apparently, there are idiots out there who have no idea what could possibly be “age appropriate”, this was the answer given:

‘Nobody’s suggesting that kindergartners are going to be getting information about sex in the way that we think about it,’ Obama said. ‘If they ask a teacher ‘where do babies come from,’ that providing information that the fact is that it’s not a stork is probably not an unhealthy thing. Although again, that’s going to be determined on a case by case basis by local communities and local school boards.'” In addition to local schools informing kindergarteners that babies do not come from the stork, the state legislation Obama supported in Illinois, which contained an “opt out” provision for parents, also envisioned teaching kindergarteners about “inappropriate touching,” according to Obama’s presidential campaign.

OH NOES! Not only does he think kids should be given the truth about how human beings work, he gives people the option of opting out if they want! What a maniac! What a freak! How dare he?! Heck, he doesn’t even say that mechanical details need to be given. Just the absolute barest of basics (the stork doesn’t deliver, for example) and “good touch/bad touch”.

Our oldest is now seven. He got a sister when he was three, a brother when he was four, and another brother at age five. He started asking questions when I was pregnant with his sister. We explained them as he asked. When I was pregnant with our last (last, I tell you!) child, our daughter started asking the same questions. It’s just when it comes to explaining it. You use simple explanations and you don’t need to go into extraneous detail about STDs and contraception. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a huge advocate for comprehensive sex education (that also starts at home!), so it’s not like I don’t believe in talking about those issues. They come in time, as a child can process and understand those issues.

I think certain adults get all freaked about it because sex = “naughty” or “dirty” fun. Hubba-hubba and all that. But kids don’t think of it that way and won’t associate all the “adultness” or “naughty fun” with it just by the simple explanation of how sex and the body work to “make a baby”. The truth of the matter is, it’s as non-sexy and non-a big deal as explaining digestion or breathing. It just simply IS. And Obama isn’t really even suggesting this–and you can opt out! Yeesh.

If anyone out there is facing this issue, a really great book to have as a companion piece (or center piece) of any of your discussions is this: It’s So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families by Robie Harris. It’s more or less for ages 6 – 10 and is very matter-of-fact but also engaging. BTW, this book and his other, It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health are both in the Top Ten of Challenged/Banned Books in 2005. I’ll give you three guesses as to why.

Filed under 03_misty

8 responses to “No Storks Need Apply

  1. catgalahad

    Our oldest was 4 while I was pregnant with his younger brother. He had lots of questions about how the baby got there and how he was growing and how the baby would get out when he was ready to be born. We gave him the details we thought he could process, using the correct names for body parts. My family was shocked out of their socks when he explained that the baby was going to come out of mommy’s vagina. Apparently that’s not a good word for a 4 year old to know.

  2. Me like my stupid country.

  3. Misty

    Oooh, making up stupid fake names for body parts is another peeve of mine. You wouldn’t tell your kid that an arm or knee has some cutesy dumbass name, now would you? No difference! Just.A.Body.Part.

  4. keshmeshi

    Considering the staggering number of children who are molested in this country (1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys), this sounds damn good to me. The shocking thing is that pedophiles can get away with molesting dozens of children before the first time they get caught. On average, a pedophile who preys on girls molests 60 kids before he’s caught. A pedophile who preys on boys can molest up to 150 (!!!). Imagine how low those numbers could be if we would be rational about these issues and teach kids early about good/bad touch and the importance of going to an adult if someone hurts them.

  5. What keshmeshi said.

    Great post, Misty. None of this can be said often enough, and all of it needs to be said over and over.

    I’ve been getting kind of fed up with Obama talking out of both sides of his mouth in — I guess — a misguided attempt to get everybody’s votes. But this puts him back in the good folks column for me.

  6. Up here in the Great White North, there’s just been a major study showing that teen pregnancy in Canada is at an all-time low, and that the primary factor for this is, yep, comprehensive sex education. Knowledge is always better than the alternative.

  7. “It’s just when it comes to explaining it.”

    Yes, this!

    A while back I was having a conversation about the somehow-controversial Babytalk magazine cover featuring a breastfeeding mother and baby.

    My interlocutor was trying to argue that such a magazine shouldn’t be allowed on the racks at supermarkets, because when she’s in a hurry and shopping with her family she just doesn’t want to have to stop and give a long lesson on the subject when her child notices the illustration and asks about it. Leaving aside the fact that her preschooler really doesn’t need a full-length lecture on nipple thrush and duct anatomy, how on earth can someone with this attitude function in everyday life? FSM forbid they should come across a pregnant woman, a person using a mobility aid, someone with a neurological illness, or someone with a skin colour different from their own. It’s all too hard and time-consuming for her to explain, so such things should be banned. I hope they never visit a farm: her head would explode.

    My kid has asked everything from “Why don’t you have a penis?” to “Why do some people don’t want children?” to “What are parents for?” and “Why? Why were you a little girl then? […] I was a little boy before, now I’m a big boy. So it goes little boy, big boy, man?” and has had brief and honest answers to the lot of them. Srsly, explaining reproductive mechanics is the easiest part.

  8. I suspect the reaction catgalahad’s family had is a big part of why some people don’t want to talk to their kids about sex in even the most basic ways. I mean, if sex is dirty, and you tell your kids about it, you’re a bad parent right?

    When I was four I had already started asking where babies come from, and gotten straight answers from my parents. One day I decided the plumber working on the kitchen sink needed to know these things too, and when he was done with his work he tried to chastize my mother for letting me learn ‘dirty stuff’. He was very surprised to find out that he was unable to shame my Mum into acting the way he thought she should.

    Still, it has to suck to have other people try to convince you that you are damaging your child.

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text:
Wyclef Jean Fast Car

A Tribute To Wyclef’s “Fast Car” From The Album

Simon: Cars Are Cars sheet music is available for immediate download.

Wyclef Jean featuring Paul Simon – Fast Car ft. Paul Simon

Music video by Wyclef Jean featuring Paul Simon performing Fast Car. (c) 2008 SONY BMG MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT

Who can claim the status as Holder in Due Course and status of parties?Does Simon have to pay off the note? Simon issues a ninety-day negotiable note payable to the order of Borges for him to purchase a car. Borges has already forged a relationship with a car dealer, and begins negotiating. Simon holds the amount of note blank, pending a determination of the amount of money he will need to purchase the car. Simon authorizes any amount that doesnt exceed $3,000. Without authority Borges fills in the note in the amount of $5,000, later sells the note toAbbott for $4,850. Borges doesnt buy the car andleaves the state, $5,000 richer. Abbott has no knowledge that the note was incomplete when issued or that he had no authority to complete the note in the amount of $5,000. Nevertheless,Abbott now holds the note and sells it to Sturrock for $4,700. Abbott and Sturrock negotiated a price at the Wooden Nickel, where they had a couple of beers. Sturrock, now the holder of the note, sells it to First National Bank at a discount of $4,500. First National Bank presents the note to Simon for payment.

Simon: Cars Are Cars sheet music is available for immediate download.

I never took Negotiable Instruments as a class in law school.But from the limited studying I did for the bar, it seems like a Holder in Due Course follows all the same rules as a Bona Fide Purchaser did under property law.Try doing the analysis that way, and see if it makes sense.

I am not a Lawyer but my OPINION would be that Simon has to pay up for the full $5000. Giving a blank note is along the lines of giving someone a blank check.yes the verbal amount authorized is Greater but the origional person that the note was presented to did not know that and honored the note. Simon will have recourse against Borges. His error in not qualifying the note leaves him defensless from collection by First National Bank.

simon is the originator of the transaction so he is totally responsible ti issue payment of the $5000. to the First National Bank. bettyk

whats is the name of the Sony camera and the three small cars used ay Knight and Day? I really liked the camera that Tom Cruise used to take a picture of the container walls to find simon and Id like to know what is the name of the camera thats he used.Now about the three small cars that they used in Seville,Spain at the chasing scene.Can anybody out there help me I´ll give you all the stars if you give me both answers.
Whatever your purposes in converting an Sony AVCHD camcorder video, you can get the method here, so just know how to do it.you can google Aunsoft Sony Camcorder Column to get it.aunsoft.com/camera/sony.html

Can anyone answer these simple grade eight math problems? 1. Two cars are stopped facing each other on opposite ends of the road. Each car then drives for 8 km forward, stops,turns right, and then continues driving for 6 km. Determine the distance between the 2 cars.2. Simon plans to install a new ceiling in his basement. The square ceiling tiles he plans to use are 1.5 long and 1m wide. If the area of the square basement ceiling is 39m square, how many ceiling tiles are needed.BY the way i am doing my homework i just don’t understand it!
1) We need to know how far apart the cars were initially to solve this.2) Each tile has an area of (1)(1.5) = 1.5 m^2. If the basement is 39 m^2 then 39/1.5 = 26 tiles will be needed. (note: a tile 1m x 1.5m is not square)
6^2 + 8^2 = 12^2 12* 2 = 24 miles in between the cars39/1.5 = 26 tiles.
Advise Jack and Simon whether they can sue Lemon & Co and/or Orange & Co on the basis of vicarious liability.? Please help me with the following scenario for my Law essay:Frank works for Lemon & Co, as a driver, delivering soft drinks to customers. Lemon & Co have expressly forbidden their drivers to allow anyone to ride in the delivery vans. Despite this, Frank often allows Jack, aged 13, to ride with him and assist on the delivery round. Jack rides in the back of the van to help with loading and unloading. For the last week, Lemon & Co have hired out a van and Frank’s services to Orange & Co. On the first day, Orange & Co. reminded Frank that he should not carry passengers in the van. Frank disregarded this and continued to allow Jack to ride with him. Whilst delivering Orange & Co.’s goods, the van was involved in a collision with a car due to negligence on Frank’s part. Jack, who was riding in the back of the van at the time, was badly injured when the drink crates fell on him. Frank got out of the van and spoke to the driver of the car, Simon. Simon accused Frank of causing the accident by driving too fast, whereupon Frank lost his temper and struck him, giving him a black eye.Note: you may presume that Frank committed the tort of battery by hitting Simon and you do not need to write about this tort in answering the following question:1) Advise Jack and Simon whether they can sue Lemon & Co and/or Orange & Co on the basis of vicarious liability.I would really appreciate if i could recieve a really good detailed answer to this. Thank you 🙂 sorry for the late reply.this question is for 2nd year LLB law and the jurisdiction is for England.you’re so helpful, thank u so much !
What jurisdiction is this for? eg, are you in America? Australia? England? Even though you are from a common law country, the precedents will change country to country. I will make a few suggestions, but without any precedents for the time being.Firstly you need to look at the relationship between Frank and Lemon & Co, and ask yourself is there an Employer and Employee relationship? I think the answer is obvious from the facts so you won’t need to apply a test to determine this.Now ask yourself, was the tort committed in the course of Frank’s employment with Lemon & Co?From that facts we can agree that it was committed in the course of his employment. Frank is a delivery driver and the accident occurred whilst making deliveries for Orange & Co.Now we turn to the tortious events – Firstly we know that under the common law a wrongful mode (a wrongful way) of doing an authorised act is still regarded as in the course of employment.Now look at any prohibition made by the employer – From the facts we can see that Lemon & Co, and Orange & Co, expressly prohibited anyone to ride in the delivery vans though Frank ignored this prohibition though this does not necessarily relived them from liability.Though there is a prohibition, Jack was assisting Frank in furthering the employer’s interests, therefore it would still be regarded as in the course of employment. The important distinction to remember here is if Frank is furthering his own personal interests or furthering the interests of his employer. I would conclude that Lemon & Co is Vicariously Liable for the injuries of Jack.Turning to the liability of the employer toward Simon.This is more straightforward. As we have already established, at the time the accident took place, Frank was carrying it his functions as an employee, he was not on a frolic of his own. The fact that Frank committed a negligent act whilst driving will not prevent Lemon & Co from being vicariously liable. We can conclude that Lemon & Co will be vicariously liable for the damage incurred to Simon’s vehicle and any personal damage, whether physical or psychological, that flows from the accident. Vicarious Liability will occur here but will not flow to any liability that comes from Frank committing the tort of battery against Simon, here we can clearly see that Frank was on his own frolic here, so there is no need to consider the issue any further.Now we turn to Orange & Co. Is Orange & Co Vicariously Liable for the actions of Frank?Once again you need to establish if there is an employee/employer relationship? From the facts we can see that there is not an employee/employer relationship and in fact Frank was essentially an Independent Contractor for Orange & Co. This is not a detailed approach in determining if Frank is an Independent Contractor (there is a special test for it) but from reading the question, I don’t think you are required to go into such detail.We can conclude that in light of Frank being an Independent Contractor for Orange & Co, that they are not Vicariously Liable for the actions committed by Frank.In Conclusion I would suggest that you apply all the relevant tests that you have learn from cases, and at the very least, quote the judgment, for example, when I say an employer is not liable for acts of an Independent Contractor this comes from Stevens v Brodribb Sawmilling Co Pty Ltd.I would be interested to know what University level this question is for?

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Shown w/ Long Tank shown w/ Long Tank and Empire Shirt Shown w/ Long Tank, Empire Shirt and Lisbon Jacket
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Sarouel Pant

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Radiant Open Ring

Fail Jewelry

Made in Austin, TX

Features: rich texture and slightly adjustable open design

Materials: sterling silver

Ideal for: stacking to create a new look

Care: sterling silver and gold-fill can be polished with a jewelry polishing cloth. Jewelry should be removed before swimming or showering to help maintain shine

Dimensions: size 6

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Mud flaps

for the front

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68 / 101

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Art.-No. 4F0075111

Additional protection for the underbody and bumper of your Audi.

Durable and long lasting mud flaps for the front to protect against dirt and dangerous stone impacts and reduce spray water dispersion.

Items supplied: 1 set (2 items)
Colour: anthracite

- Not in combination with S line exterior package
- Installation by qualified personnel/specialist workshop is recommended

*RRP = recommended retail price, excl. fitting + LCT

Prices may differ between Audi dealers.


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Shropshire Council website

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Please note: due to part-night lighting being implemented in Shropshire, some street lights will not be activated during the hours of midnight to 5.30am. Following the clocks going forward in March or back in October, it can take up to two weeks for the timing mechanism within the lamp posts to reset. During this time, the street lights may be operating slightly earlier or later than expected. You don't need to report this as it will correct itself.

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Luke Murphy

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Skip to content

Harry Reid The Riot Act

December 17, 2010

The little corner of the Internet in which I wander is all aflutter about Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s remarks during Wednesday’s session and to Thursday’s press. The virtual grapevine has it Reid slammed some of the right honorable gentlemen in Senate chambers and then read them the riot act on TV.

Oh no, he didn’t. Not really. The real Riot Act is a 1715 British Parliament law about dispersing crowds of twelve or more, and while the Senate is composed of more than 12 people, and there’s some precedent for considering them a dangerous, dangerous mob, I’m pretty sure British law doesn’t apply there. I mean, OSHA doesn’t even apply there.

But then, oh yes he did. Because, as the Oxford English Dictionary helpfully reminds us, “to read the riot act” (small-caps pronunciation) is a metaphorical description for actually giving “severe warning or reprimand.”  And during his Dec. 16 remarks to the press, Reid pulled the Constitution out of his pocket and told the Republicans, and the White House, what for.

“What for” being slang meaning “to inflict severe pain or chastisement. Also, …to make him take notice; to show who is in charge.” OED, truly, love.

What did Reid say?  For the reprimand and chastisement, he used that lame rhetorical trick:  the dictionary definition.  That’s right.  He told the press:

But I’ll bet if you went to “H” in the dictionary and found hypocrite, under that would be people who ask for earmarks but vote against them.

Been there, seen the picture, etc., etc.  It’s the next part that matters—because that’s when Reid went and pulled out his pocket-sized, hard-bound copy of the Constitution. And it was like slam.  You see, it’s all about presence.

The New Rhetoric argues that presence is the purposeful “displaying of certain elements on which the speaker wishes to center attention in order that they may occupy the foreground of the hearer’s consciousness.”  Usually this is done with language.  Sometimes it’s done with props.

So Reid pulls out his Constitution—pulls it from an inner suit-coat pocket.  He holds it up for the reporters and cameras to see (and that pose becomes a circulating image bite).  This gesture, the small ceremony of revealing the book, draws our attention to it.  Reid makes the Constitution present for everyone; he “foregrounds” it, and with it, Reid foregrounds the support for his definitional argument about earmarks.

Definitions, we’ve said here before, are slippery things.  One way to make yours stick is to pin it to something sound.  Reid went for the Constitution, the thing that, he says “runs this country.”  And not just for Dems—the Tea-party caucus plans to study it like Scripture.  In other words, when looking for a steady definitional foundation, the Constitution isn’t the worst place to start.

So while Reid didn’t read the Riot Act, or even the Constitution, he did make the Constitution’s connection to his argument clear and present.  Just as reading aloud the Riot Act might have made present the law and (more importantly) the lawful repercussions for non-dispersing crowds in 18th-century London.  Or whenever.

Reid calls our attention to Constitution, using it to support his earmark definition and by extension, his definition of how members of Congress should act. He’s a Senator known for lackluster delivery, but by giving the Constitution real presence in this debate, Reid endows his remarks some actual oratorical fire. And that’s twice he’s turned Conservative touchstones on their heads—first with the work-over-Christmas argument and now with the Constitution.  Find him a flag to wave, Dems, and maybe this will be the Congressional Session When Stuff Got Done.

If you want to know more:

  • The definition of presence comes from Perelman and Olbrechts-Tyteca’s The New Rhetoric.  Alan Gross pushes the concept further in his 2005 RSQ’s “Presence as Argument in the Public Sphere.”  And I jargon-dropped “image bite” from Maria Elizabeth Grabe’s Image Bite Politics:  News and the Visual Framing of Elections, which we’ll have to do a post on some day.
  • Reid’s incendiary Senate comments, and attending lukewarm delivery, can be seen and heard here, around the 4:38:00 marker.  His comments to the press are seen and heard here, and if you are looking for ways to avoid answering questions you don’t like, then minutes 3:28-4:13  make for a first-rate seminar.  The cliff-notes video version is here.
  • While Reid was asked if his you-all-are-hypocrites claim counted as mean-spiritedness (A: meh), Reid was not asked if it was hypocritical to end his speech saying everyone should “cut down the mean-spirited talk about this, and just do our jobs” when he began it by calling Republicans hypocrites and the President a power-grabber.
  • An earmark-less definition of hypocrite can be found at Merriam-Webster, Wikipedia, or The Devil’s Dictionary (1906).  I get the OED through a campus subscription, but if you are reading from a similarly favored connection, link to the OED entry on hypocrite here and Riot Act here.
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19/4517 Tires

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text:
Triple Head to Head: G & M Orkney Tripak

P= Pride of Orkney, 12 y/o blended maltwp-1486168550560.jpg

S= Scapa, 1993 (bottled 2008) single malt

H= Highland Park, 8 y/o single malt

Bottler: Gordon & McPhail, Elgin, Moray, Scotland, UK.

P= Highland Park, Scapa.

S= Scapa, Kirkwall, Orkney, Scotland, UK (Pernod-Ricard)

H= Highland Park, Kirkwall, Orkney, Scotland, UK (Edrington)

P: 12 y/o

S: 15 y/o

H: 8 y/o

Region: Highland/Island

ABV: 40%

Price: I forget.

P: Medium caramel.

S: Lighter. Straw.

H: Virtually the same as P.

P: Alcohol, oak, malt, a little peat.

S: Mild.Oak, seabreeze.

H: Toasted almonds, oak, peach.

P: Medium bodied and creamy. Caramel, bourbon.

S: Mild. Not much happening but a little burn.

H: Mild. Butterscotch, peat, lemon meringue.

P: Mild and slightly sweet. Caramel, buttercream.

S: A little fruity. Fades quickly.

H: Slightly chewy but mild. Peat ash, Atlantic ocean.

20170203_193337.jpgParting words: These whiskies come from the two most northerly distilleries in Scotland, Highland Park and the other one in Orkney, Scapa. Highland Park is almost universally beloved for its perfectly balanced and flavorful 12 & 18 y/o bottlings. Scapa is not nearly as well known or highly regarded as HP, but the 16 y/o producer bottling does have its fans. Scapa is unpeated, unusual for a an Island malt, but they did release a peated expression last year.

Pride of Orkney (of G & M’s now defunct “Pride of” series) is a blended malt containing whisky from both of these distilleries. It’s the best of the three. While it’s not earth shattering, it is well balanced with good flavor considering its proof and the fact that it’s a blended malt containing some pretty mild whisky. I suspect it contains caramel coloring. The Highland Park 8 y/o is fine for what it is, a young malt from a good distillery. Higher ABV would do it a lot of favors, but it’s pleasant enough as it is.

Scapa 1993 is one of the dullest single malts I’ve ever had. It doesn’t do anything to distinguish itself, tasting like a generic second-tier single malt. It’s like eating a sleeve of water crackers. It will do if there’s nothing else in the house but you’re left feeling like you just wasted time and calories for nothing.

These three expressions are close to impossible to find on their own now, but I bought this set of minis at a large liquor store just a couple years ago so there are probably more of these sets floating around out there. There is/was also an Islay tripak set. Probably more interesting than this. If you’re curious about the whiskies of Orkney, you might find the Orkney tripak fun but I can only mildly recommend this set.

Ardbeg Perpetuum

Maker: Ardbeg, Ardbeg, Islay, Argyll, Scotland, UK (LVMH)20161220_085145.jpg

Region: Islay

ABV: 47.4%

Michigan state minimum: $100

Appearance: Very light gold.

Nose: Grilled peaches, oak, fireplace ash, cigarette smoke (Marlboro-ish), high corn bourbon, peat.

Palate: Full bodied. Butterscotch, peat ash.

Finish: Alcohol, dry chipotle chilis, sherry, fairly short.

Parting words: Is there better way to end 2016 than with a review of a whisky that was released in 2015? Yes, many better ways. I decided to review this anyway, since I picked it up late this year.

Perpetuum was released in 2015 to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the Ardbeg distillery. Many distilleries in Scotland were “founded” around 200 years ago. This is no coincidence. Beginning in 1816 and culminating in the excise act of 1823, the UK government passed a series of laws creating a level playing field for distillers in Scotland vs those in Ireland and England. Many illegal distillers went straight, refounding their operations and many new distilleries started up.

Perpetuum is a very good whisky. It’s classic Ardbeg: smoky, spicy, but still complex.Problem is, I’m not sure it’s good enough to justify the $20 markup over Uigeadail which is very similar. The well-reviewed and higher ABV Corryvreckan is $10 cheaper, too. So while Perpetuum is very good, it’s not a very good value. Ardbeg Perpetuum is mildly recommended.

Rock Oyster

Maker: Douglas Laing & Co, Glasgow, Scotland, UK20161007_111358.jpg

Distilleries: Isles of Arran, Jura, plus unidentified distillers from Orkney (Highland Park?) and Islay.

Style: Blended island (including Islay) malt.

Age: NAS

ABV: 46.8%

Michigan state minimum: $60

Note: Not chill filtered, likely not colored either.

Appearance: Pale straw with thick sea legs.

Nose:Peat, alcohol, smoke, sherry, seaspray.

Palate: Medium bodied. Sweet butterscotch, then brine, peat smoke and burn.

Finish: Peat, buttercream, then burn. Lang lasting.

Parting words: 68 year old independent bottler and blender Douglas Laing & Co had a big hit a few years ago with their Big Peat blended Islay malt. They’ve now followed up with other regional blended malts. Rock Oyster is the Island edition, as one might guess from the name. Islay is usually considered its own region and not a part of the islands or Highlands but Islay whisky (-ies?) are included in the blend here. This isn’t Big Peat Jr, though. The smoky, peaty, Islay malt is balanced with sherry, bourbon and maritime aromas to great effect.

It’s hard to get a single malt this complex for $60 in these parts. There’s nothing I don’t love about Rock Oyster. Highly Recommended.

Ballentine’s 12 y/o

Maker: Ballentine’s, Dumbarton, Dumbartonshire, Scotland, USA (Pernod-Ricard)wp-1470744396154.jpg

Age: 12 y/o

ABV: 40%

Michigan state minimum: $30

Appearance: Shiny caramel, thick, widely spread legs

Nose: Wood varnish, honey, vanilla buttercream, old oak.

Palate: Medium bodied and light in flavor. Butterscotch, salted caramel.

Finish: Werther’s Original candy, alcohol, grape soda, puff of smoke.

Parting words: This review was supposed to be a head to head with Ballentine’s Finest, the entry level NAS blend, but I lost my notes to that. As a friend said to me on Twitter, “Jesus saves and so should you.” True words, but MS should also make it so that autosaved versions of one document doesn’t pop up when you open a different document and give you the opportunity to delete the autosaved versions of the one document.

Anyhoo, not much was lost because there isn’t too much going on with Ballentine’s Finest. It’s inoffensive, but $25 should buy you more than that (though the mid-century style bottle is pretty cool). For $5 more, you can buy the 12 y/o Ballentine’s which is better. This is a Speyside-centered blend with sweet malt and sherry as the leading aromas with some oak and smoke thrown in to round it out. It’s mildly interesting and priced in the same neighborhood as its competition like Dewar’s. That whole neighborhood is overpriced, though. Get yourself a 1.75 liter bottle of Grant’s instead. Ballentine’s 12 y/o is mildly recommended.

Benromach 10 y/o

Maker: Benromach, Forres, Moray, Scotland, UK (Gordon & McPhail)20160310_190411-1.jpg

Region: Speyside (Northwest)

ABV: 43%

Michigan State Minimum: $63

Appearance: Medium copper with medium legs.

Nose: Big malt, new leather, alcohol. As it sits, the leather settles into an old oak aroma.

Palate: Full bodied and medium sweet. Toffee, brown butter, dried red chili.

Finish: Warm and a little chewy.

Parting words: Given the expense of decent single malts, I’m always on the lookout for miniature bottles of SMS for blogging purposes. I picked the one the I used for this review at Vine & Table in Carmel, Indiana (I think).

I like Benromach labels and liked most of G & P’s private bottlings I’ve had, so I was looking forward to opening this bottle. When I first opened it, I wasn’t impressed. It seemed unbalanced and sulphury, especially in the nose. As it sat (or as my palate adjusted itself) I came to enjoy it quite a bit. It’s simple, but the toffee flavor is really hitting the spot for me. Benromach 10 is a simple, affordable dram suitable for after-dinner sipping with friends. Recommended.

The Exclusive Malts- Cambus, 1988

Maker: Cambus, Cambus, Clackmannanshire, Scotland, UK (Diageo)

Style: Grain whisky

Age: 26 y/o

ABV: 48.1%

Price: $180 (K & L)

Thanks to Marshall for this sample.

Appearance: Old gold with thick, very slow legs.

Nose: Old oak, butterscotch pudding, serrano chili, alcohol

Palate: Banana pudding, then burn. With water the burn and banana fades into creamy vanilla custard.

Finish: Sweet and custardy, banana cream pie. Similar with water but with oak on the back end.

Parting words: Cambus was one of the first grain whisky distilleries in Scotland, and possibly the first to use a column (aka Coffey or patent) still. Its early history is fuzzy, but it may have been founded in 1806. What is known for certain is that it began at its current site in 1836 and was one of the founding members of Distiller’s Company Limited (DCL) a corporate ancestor of Diageo. When UDV (one of Diageo’s parents) was formed in 1993, Cambus was shuttered. This being Scotch, Cambus-distilled grain whisky has hung around for a long time.

A little ironically, The Exclusive Malts bottled this grain (not malt) whisky as a part of a big batch of vintage single cask Scotches they released last year. This one is the oldest. The others are all mid 1990s vintage. They include casks from nearby Deanston, Ben Nevis, Glen Keith, Glen Garioch, and Allt-A-Bhainne (no, that last one isn’t made up).

I love Twitter. One of the reasons is that it enables me to meet whiskey enthusiasts from all over the world and chat with them. One of the persons I’ve met that way is Marshall. We met in person back around Christmas (or was it Thanksgiving?) and he generously gave me a sample of this at that time. Earlier this week I was thinking of a special Scotch to review for the Friday before Burns Night and this one seemed perfect. It is delicious. It’s also surprisingly bourbon-like, specifically it’s like old bottles of Old Taylor, Very Old Barton or Old Charter Proprietor’s reserve (slope-shoulder Louisville version) that I’ve had. Big butterscotch and tropical fruit flavors, but perfectly balanced with wood, sweetness and vanilla. $180 isn’t chump change but it’s not unreasonable for a whisky of this quality and age from a closed distillery. Cambus 1988 is recommended.

Gordon & Macphail Vine & Table Selection- Coal Ila 8 y/o, cask strength.

Bottler: Gordon & MacPhail, Elgin, Moray, Scotland.2015-12-23-15.16.36.jpg.jpeg

Distiller: Caol Ila, Port Askaig, Argyll, Scotland, UK

Region: Islay

Age: 8 y/o (distilled July 2006, bottled August 2014)

ABV: 58.8%

Price: $65 Exclusive to Vine & Table, Carmel (CAR-muhl), Indiana, USA

Notes: Single cask, natural color, not chill filtered. Aged in a refill sherry hogshead, cask #306213. One of 260 bottles. At cask strength, this whisky was all peat and smoke to me, so I diluted it to around 50% ABV for this review.

Appearance: Medium copper with thin, irregular legs.

Nose: Peat, smoke, black tea, drop of sherry.

Palate: Full bodied and hot. Some tropical fruit and vanilla in the beginning then the burn grows as does smoke, but without a lot of peat.

Finish: Ashy. Fireplace, old ashtray at grandma’s house back in the 1980s when people smoked inside. A belch after drinking this is the closest we humans will come to knowing what it’s like to be a dragon.

Parting words: Diageo’s Caol Ila is best known as a supplier of smoky malt for a myriad of independent bottlers and makers of blended malts. There’s also a 12 y/o distillery bottling that I reviewed here and friend of the blog My Annoying Opinions reviewed here. There was at one time a Distiller’s Edition, but I’m not sure how available that was in the US. In recent years there have also been a number of young, cask strength, independent bottlings like this one making the rounds. Most single malt Scotch doesn’t get bottled at anything less than ten years of age, but smoky malts often do because the smoke is more prominent at a younger age.

If fire is what you crave, this is the malt for you. A belch after drinking this is the closest we humans will come to knowing what it’s like to be a dragon. There’s not much else going on, though. There’s a hint of sweet malt and sherry, but it is hard to find behind the inferno. This Caol Ila is one dimensional, but it is only $65 and at cask strength which makes it more attractive than it might be at a standard proof. A volcano like this is especially good if you enjoy making your own blends at home. I mixed a little bit in with some Craigellachie 13 and some 16 y/o grain whisky and it added a nice extra bit of smoke to both of those.

If you enjoy smoky whisky like I do or if you’re looking for some smoke in your personal blending lab, Vine & Table’s 8 y/o, cask strength Caol Ila from V & T is a good choice. Recommended.

Craigellachie 13

Maker: Craigellachie (Aberlour), Craigellachie, Moray, Scotland, UK (Bacardi)wpid-2015-10-30-20.16.53.jpg.jpeg

Region: Speyside (BenRinnes cluster)

Notes: Not chill filtered. The Last Great Malts series.

ABV: 46%

Michigan State Minimum: $55

Appearance: Dark straw with clingy evenly spaced legs.

Nose: Leather, apricot jam, alcohol, lavender, dried date.

Palate: Full-bodied and medium sweet. Ripe red peaches, oak, butterscotch, ground coriander seed.

Finish: Sweet malt, oak, then a light burn.

Parting words: Craigellachie named for a bluff overlooking the River Spey and there is a Craigellachie bridge (built in the early 19th century) and a Hotel Craigellachie that is often recommended as a good place to stay while exploring the Speyside area. The distillery itself has a remarkably boring history which I will not recount. It’s currently owned by Bacardi’s Dewars & Sons division and forms the heart of Dewar’s blends. It has been only rarely seen in independent or distillery bottlings over the years, but that may be changing with its two entries in Dewar’s The Last Great Malts series.

Craigellachie’s neighbors are more famous than it, like Macallan, Glenfiddich, Glenlivet and Aberlour. Unlike most of those, this is not a light and flowery malt. It’s got heft to it, like Balvenie and Mortlach. It’s often described as sulphury and waxy but I have trouble detecting either one here, though I have trouble detecting them anywhere, frankly. The heft and alleged sulphur come from the large stills (allowing for reflux), use of cast iron worm tubs to cool the spirit, and the relative dearth of copper in the worms, so I’m told.

Unlike Balvenie and Mortlach, there is no beef here. This is all thick custard, fruit and oak. Ex-bourbon casks take the lead here, but there may be a few sherry butts in the mix as well. If so, they are used judiciously. This is an exquisitely balanced, but flavorful and well-craft whisky. It pairs great with homemade shortbread too.

Considering all the garbage that is out there at twice the price, Craigellachie 13 is a steal. Considering how good this is has made me loose even more respect for Bacardi/Dewar’s. How can your blend taste so bad when your malt is so good? I don’t know, but I do know that Craigellachie 13 is great. Highly recommended.

Monkey Shoulder

Maker: Wm. Grant & Sons, Dufftown, Banffshire, Scotland, UKwpid-2015-08-28-20.57.35.jpg.jpeg

Style: Blended Single Malt Scotch (Glenfiddich, Balvenie, Kininvie)

Age: NAS

ABV: 43%

Michigan state minimum: $33

Appearance: Medium copper with a lot of necklacing and legs.

Nose: Sweet malt, vanilla, sage, alcohol, old oak, serrano peppers.

Palate: Medium bodied and semi-sweet. Vanilla buttercream, strawberry, butterscotch, sweet cinnamon.

Finish: Dry and long lasting. Crème brûlée, alcohol, oak.

Parting words: The success of blended malts like Sheep Dip and especially Compass Box’s offerings led older, older companies to take notice. Monkey Shoulder, released in the UK in 2005 was Wm. Grant & Son’s response, and it’s a dammned good one. A blended malt (formerly known as a vatted or pure malt) is a blend of all single malts. This is different from a standard blended Scotch because it contains no grain whisky, only malts.

The family resemblance to Grant’s blended whisky (the last Scotch I reviewed) is evident, but it’s much more complex, as one might expect. Like Grant’s, this is a very tasty whisky at a good price. For a top notch blended malt, it’s impossible to beat. Grant’s marketing folks keep pushing it as a mixer but it’s so good neat that I couldn’t bring myself to mix it with anything.

Monkey Shoulder is highly recommended.

Springbank CV

Maker: Springbank, Campbeltown, Argyll & Bute, Scotland.wpid-2015-05-22-20.29.13.jpg.jpeg

Region: Campbeltown

Age: NAS

ABV: 46%

Appearance: Old gold with evenly spaced legs.

Nose: Peat, damp humus, seawater, leather, sweet malt.

Palate: Full bodied and hot. A little water calms it down. Dates, brown butter, butterscotch candy, roasted pecans, brine, smoke.

Finish: Warm and smoky. More earthiness, wet firewood.

Parting words: I fell in love with Springbank 10 at first sip so I then quickly moved on to the 15 y/o expression. I didn’t realy care for it. It had a tired, murky quality to it that I didn’t care for. So I sadly refrained from buying any Springbank until I bought this in an effort to reacquaint myself with the distillery. What better way is there to get to know Springbank than by drinking its CV?

None, that’s what. This is a fantastic whisky. It has the sweet, nutty characteristics of the 10, but with the added depth of earthiness and smokiness that whiskies from the neighboring island of Islay exihibit. I’m usually a skeptic when it comes to the influence of the ocean on Scotch, but there are aromas and flavors that come across as maritime in this whisky.

The complexity is very much by design. The CV is a marriage of malts of a variety of ages and styles all from the Springbank Distillery in Cambeltown, the smallest recognized single malt Scotch region. My bottle is from the second edition (the first got mixed reviews) and I love it, as you can probably tell. Unfortunately it seems to be out of stock at the usual major retailers, but I paid around $70 for mine and it was worth every penny. I’m sure there are quite a few of these still in the wild. Pick one up if you can. Springbank CV (second edition) is highly recommended.


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Andrea Stone

I have one opening in early October 2015.

Sitter in Sandy Springs

Hi: I am a stay at home mom, 44 year old hispanic from Uruguay (South America) mother of two, looking to care for NEW BORN TO 2 YEARS OLD in my home located in Sandy Springs (closest intersection is where Peachtree Dunwoody Rd NE at Mt Vernon Hwy NE) Zip Code 30328 I have my CDA Certification ( Child Development Associate) I have my CPR and First-AID training. I speak Spanish and English. I have a 10 yr old girl and a 12 yr old boy of my own. I charge $250 per week. I have Excellent, Excellent, Excellent References. Contact me please (Andrea) at 404-539-...

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• Coffee as Muse -- Call for Artists

    Coffee has always been a muse for artists (think Bach's Coffee Cantata) and revolutionaries (Boston Tea Party & storming of the Bastille, yep, hatched in coffee houses). And let it be known, that Victor Hugo would finish off his drawings with a spray of coffee and sometimes created art from coffee

    Now artists are taking inspiration from coffee ephemera (filters, stirrers, to-go cups, spoons and sleeves)--from Miguel Cardona's cup art to the "stirring" sculptures of Jonathan Brilliant to the fine doodles from DrawCoffee.

    And so… we're calling on all you artists (outsiders, insiders, doodlers, crafters, students, painters, potters, poets, songwriters, all) to use anything coffee-related as an inspiration for art--big or small--to be shown/performed at a big, caffeinated party/exhibition February 8th 3-5pm with prizes, press and more.

    There are no restrictions other than the finished work should be made out of coffee ephemera or inspired by coffee and be completed by the beginning of February 2015. We've already got responses from a dozen artists (including a school that is participating), so hoping that this will truly be an event.

    If you're interested in participating, please contact us at: hello@sixdepot.com. And here is some inspiration for you!

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User Journal

Journal JWSmythe's Journal: New Job, Rubik's Cube, and Big Bada Boom

So I started back at one of my previous employers, I am once again employed. :)

    But, I'm waiting to get my access again to all the servers, so I'm gainfully trying to keep myself occupied, without thinking about recent life events.

    So, I come to you, to share the magic of the Rubik's cube.

    Back in the 80's, when it was popular, I was annoyed by the whole thing. Twist, turn, damn. Twist, turn, turn, damn. Ya, that's how I want to spend my day. So, I considered the other options to solve the puzzle. It's kinda like anything else, you have to be smarter than the device you're using.

    So, when I was a kid, I figured out how to take Rubik's cube apart. The next day I figured out how to put it together.

    After the early 90's, I thought I'd never use this fine skill again, until a few days ago. A friend has a couple boys, aged 10-ish and 13-ish. :) Ya, I'm still great at remembering ages and birthdays. The younger one says "Have you ever solved a Rubik's cube?" Ahhhh, he asked the right question. Sure, I've "solved" a cube.

    He tosses me the cube. This one is a 2x2x2 (4 tiles on each face). I've never seen one of these, mostly because I never cared to. I gave it a quick look, and gave a little tug to the blocks. "Sure, I can solve it, but you won't like how I do it." He asked how, and I explained that "This is an engineering puzzle, not a logical one."

    We went back and forth on that for about 10 minutes, so finally, I took it, twisted one side 45 degrees, and popped a block off.

    There's something you should know about the 2x2x2 Rubik's cubes. They're not like the 3x3x3 cubes. Besides having 8 blocks, there are also about a dozen sliders, 6 rotators, and a center hub. All this very carefully assembled by some of the highest paid workers in China, who I'm sure can build 10 a minute. :)

    With the one block off, it's now lost the integrity to stay as a single unit, and the whole thing crumbles in my hands, a couple dozen little tiny plastic parts, that I've never in my life seen before.. Ahh! A new puzzle. I like these. I spent about 10 more minutes standing at a kitchen counter, trying to put it back together. It seems easy enough, but I ended up with 2 extra pieces, and it wouldn't hold itself together.

    Ahh! an impossible puzzle, I like these even more!

    I took a baggie full of Rubik's parts home with me that night, and in the middle of yet another sleepless night, I sat at my desk solving the ENGINEERING challenge of the 2x2x2 Rubik's cube. (Actually called the Rubik's Jr., I believe).

    I won't give the secret away, but look at YouTube. :) It's not the perfect solution, but it got me close enough, after I was really really close.

    I sent it back home to the kids, in perfect condition. "Solved!" I even spent part of the day just spinning sides to see that everything moved ok.

    It came back to me the next day, as a bag full of pieces. Ahhh, the mighty children have learned the magic of an Engineering Challenge. They just haven't found how to solve it. They insisted that it just "came apart". I've seen some of their other fine works, that just "happened" and they claim to have had absolutely no influence on.

    I put it back together in perfect condition again, and my wife grabs it from me. "How hard could this be?" She's been playing with it for a week, without solving the logical puzzle. I'm tempted to take it as an engineering puzzle again one night, so she can think I solved the logical problem too. :)

    When I was job hunting, I found a position for someone working large fireworks for large presentations.. If there's something I like more than taking stuff apart and putting it back together, it's blowing stuff up. I'm like a kid at Christmas, on New Years and the 4th of July. I come home with my presents all wrapped in clear plastic, just ready to set up the mortar tubes, and start launching lovely packages of explosive goodness high into the sky. Wheeeee!

    I didn't even get a call on that job though. Oh well.

    {sigh} I have to wait 3 more months before I can blow up more stuff. I'm not enough of a pyro to do it any other time. Well, I'm usually not rich enough either. :) In good years, I'll spend about $300 to blow up in a night. Ahhhh.. Big Bada Boom

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New Job, Rubik's Cube, and Big Bada Boom

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Comment All right. let us cut to the chase (Score 1) 13

Do you REALLY think that shop lady and the customers singing a rolling stones song inside the shop should pay the rolling stones (cartel association they belong to) a "performance" fee? This isn't changing the subject, it is THE subject at hand in the article. I need no more than a yes or no. This is as short and on topic as I can make it then. It has nothing to do with your code or my landscaping arrangements, nor anything else, today, an exact happening, in the article, the shop lady/shop/customers singing a song inside the shop, and some fee that they allegedly owe because they violated some law and the law allegedly says they owe it. So, yes, or no?

Comment Re:Cure is worse than the disease (Score 1, Informative) 310

I would rather see people educated instead of regulated.

Right. That's what this is. The changes are requiring the ads to *educate* the consumers regarding the strings attached to "endorsements". It's a really good thing, that will make it a little bit harder to lie or mislead people. Seriously, nobody is trying to take away your free speech or say that you can't endorse things all that you want. This is just about increasing the amount of truth in advertising.

Comment Re:Software patents are teh suck (Score 1) 219

Furthermore, I would suggest that the faster an area of technology moves, the less it matters how long the patent term is. A patent in such an area will quickly become obsolete. It's actually stagnant technology where a long patent term on a rare innovation is most valuable.

A patent is a wall in front of progress. The faster the progress, the more the wall arrests. The whole point of patents is to encourage people to invent things so valuable that others would rather pay to be let through that wall than have to go around it.

Software patents are like being surrounded by walls, as if in maze with no guaranteed exit, and all the walls have blurry edges, and some of them will solidify to a razor's edge for sole purpose of cutting you as travel along a path that has been clear for decades.

Submission + - Arizona Parents lose custody of kids over bathtime ( 1

sv_libertarian writes: "An Arizona couple had their children taken from them by Child Protective Services when a Wal Mart employee developing pictures on a memory stick found pictures of the children in a bathtub, and reported the parents to local authorities. The parents were able to successfully challenge the matter, and are now suing Wal Mart, among others over the matter."

Comment Re:Great advertising for new versions! (Score 0) 590

Destroying your competition by being better is ok, destroying by doing things like bribing the the governemnt has nothign to do with capitalism. Fraud is illegal. Partial capitalism? i think not, you may need some government regulation, but not a whole lot.

Most of our problems stem from government getting involved. The current economic mess as far more to do with the ability of fed to arbitrarily create money than any ponzi schemes. (Unless you consider the entire stock market the ponzi scheme, which maybe an argument can be made for)

Comment Re:Just deserts. (Score 1) 841

Exactly. Rather than complaining about WMP not going out of it's way to support iPod, Apple simply wrote their own Sync software. They had no expectation that WMP would put out an update that allowed it to sync an iPod. I simply don't understand the issue here. Palm should have never released a product without sync software, either their own, or an open source choice that actually planned to support the device. Instead, they relied on another competing vendor's and also presented the device as the competitors brand in that competitors software.

Microsoft didn't go out of it's way to make the iPod compatible with WMP, and no one expected it to. I would actually be shocked to the core if MS went out of their way to sync an iPod. Apple also didn't make it's iPod look like a Zune in WMP. If they had, you wouldn't have had time to exhale before a lawsuit was slapped on Apple. It simply doesn't make sense for competing vendors to support their competitors hardware.

There are third party products where it does make sense, but it does not make sense from a vendor that makes it's money from the hardware, not the software.

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Remembering Pearl Harbor

December 7, 2014

Never forget the actions, reactions and lives lost on this day. An older post brought forward.

Food, Farm, Life Choices

There is more to life than just farming, just agriculture and what we do. There are ties that bind all of us, from food to conversation with friends to events like that which happened seven decades ago and united Americans. There’s little we can say today that is more important than remembering those lives lost that day – the fathers, mothers, and those who had not yet had a chance to get married and have a family. They were sons and daughters, brothers, sisters, cousins. They had families and faced horrific events preserved in images. There are fewer survivors each year, and we must preserve and cherish the memories of those remaining.

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For Executives, Entrepreneurs, and other Digerati who need to know about SaaS and Web 2.0.

Archive for the ‘flex’ Category

The Irony of Mobile Users Preferring Apps Over Web

Posted by Bob Warfield on August 13, 2010

Apparently, mobile users prefer apps over the web.  At least that’s Gowalla CEO Josh Williams’ view:

“People love apps, but it drives a stake in the heart of the build-once-deploy-everywhere model, and makes the market really fragmented.”

I’m not surprised.  Heck, I prefer apps too.  But the irony is that Apple has but a bullet in the one solution that lets you have apps and a build-once-deploy-everywhere model:  Flash/Flex.

Sure, Apple wants apps not rich browser experiences.  They’re trying to control developer mindshare before more open solutions get going with too much momentum, once more leaving them to their walled garden as happened in the PC versus Mac race.  There is only so much developer mindshare, and if you lock them down writing apps in dev tools that essentially only work on the iPhone or iPad, its hard for their great apps to be available elsewhere.

We don’t hear tremendous talk about RIA’s (Rich Internet Apps) anymore, it seems.  Perhaps the concept is dated.  I continue to think it is a great idea.  People talk about Flash/Flex largely in terms of video and ignore the RIA side.  Some argue they don’t even like RIA’s, and prefer a basic web page-style UI.  Personally, I think the web page UI is fine for certain things, but it isn’t much better than the old 3270 green screens, which were also fine for some things.  The problem isn’t that apps need to be more like web pages, its that browsers need to support more app-like behavior.  Flash/Flex does that today beautifully, except Steve Jobs won’t tolerate it on his mobile platforms because he’s trying to deny developer mindshare to his competitors.

For those that think it’s slow and buggy, think again.  It’s actually capable of some pretty amazing stuff, even 3D games.  I’ve lately been spending a fair amount of time programming 3D graphics in an Open Source Flash package called Away3D and have been very impressed.  I’ve also spent a lot of time with Adobe AIR, and am likewise impressed.  Not only can you run on any browser, you can run disconnected on the desktop too.  It works great on PC, Mac, and Linux, same code across all desktops and browsers.

I haven’t seen another option that gives so much flexibility.  HTML5 is a long long way from it.

Posted in flex | 6 Comments »

Adobe: 7 Things You Should Do With Flash/Flex

Posted by Bob Warfield on June 21, 2010

Dear Adobe:

Apple has started the anti-Flash/Flex snowball rolling, and it is getting steadily bigger.  It’s a perfect storm, because they’ve got the platforms that are perfectly suited to Flash, their platforms are wildly popular, and your faithful audience desperately wants to be there.  But that’s not all.  They didn’t just prohibit Flash, they have called a lot of attention to a credible competitor: HTML5.  I know, I know.  It will be a long time before HTML5 is everything Flash is today.  It’s not even close right now, and a lot of people have conflated media delivery with Rich User Experience in ways that unfairly diminish your platform.  Get over it.  Economic pressures (aka naked greed and envy to be on these precious Apple platforms) have created a hill of growing height, and the water that is developer mindshare is rapidly flowing down that hill and away from Flash.

What can you do?

Lame ads won’t help.  Complaining about it won’t help.  Technology and innovation can help.  If you move quickly, and you have some things in your camp that buy you time (Android), you can still salvage the situation.

Here is what it takes:

1.  Absolute Single Minded Focus on Performance and Stability

People have concluded your platform is buggy and slow.  It doesn’t matter if you agree or not, the customer is always right.  When you hear McAskill at Smugmug and Adler at Scribd railing about your stuff, it’s time to move from denial to acceptance.  Their voices and those of many others are too loud and being spread too efficiently to pretend it isn’t so.  It’s past time to deal with it, in fact.  You need to embrace this problem, own it, and deliver the solution as quickly as possible.  The solutions can take many forms.  My recommendations are part of this post, and this point is more about declaring a focus both publicly and internally and owning the problem.  You don’t have to say, “We agree, our platform is slow and buggy.”  You do have to say:

“We have a great platform and our customers have told us to make it dramatically faster and more stable.  That’s our #1 priority, and here’s how we plan to do it…”

2.  Stability:  Quality + Security.  Get a Czar.

I’ll define Stability as consisting of equal parts Quality and Security.  Your customers are finding too many bugs.  There are too many public security issues.  This is happening at a time when you can ill afford it.  Get a Czar nominated and equipped to deal with this area.  Apportion your development cycles between performance and stability, give the stability cycles to the Czar and just do it.  The Czar needs to rapidly do the following:

– Identify the most egregious problems you have missed that are troubling your customers.  Look outwardly not inwardly to find them.  Fix that first tranche rapidly.

– Upgrade your automated testing so regressions are under control.

– Put in place a culture of quality that ensures that every single release is better than the last one.

– Investigate whether some of the quality issues don’t stem from education issues.  If customers are approaching it wrong, or don’t know how things work, they may be seeing behavior that is exactly what’s expected, but that looks to them like a bug.  Do not let this be an excuse for thinking you don’t have real bugs too.

– Be transparent about the plans and the results.

Get this stuff fixed and make sure it stays fixed.  This is not a, “Let’s fix the top 100/1000/or whatever bugs,” thing.  It’s a cultural change accompanied by results.

3.  Build a High Performance Native Compiler

Yes, I know, it is wonderful that Flash programs work everywhere.  But you are dealing with Performance perception and a company that says they will only let Native tools in the tent.  Figure out how to kill both birds with one stone.  Every platform does not need a native compiler.  But, if Facebook can afford to build a PHP compiler for performance sake, you definitely can afford to do this.  If you don’t have any serious compiler gurus, get some on board.  While you’re at it, build an optimizer for your interpreted stuff too.  You need a two-pronged attack:

–  Better bytecodes with the usual optimizations that matter closer to the language–operator strength reduction and all that.

–  Killer native compiler that will run circles around your bytecode stuff when it needs to.

If you do it right, it should be possible to pick and choose which classes are native and which are bytecode within the same Flash app.  You will also need to provide infrastructure that makes it easy to serve up the right native version to whatever platform is being used by the consumer.  Don’t make your developers figure that out.  BTW, you need to get this into Beta in less than 12 months.  You don’t have much time.

There is an old saying, “If you want people to make a new decision, you must give them new information.”  This pair of developments is the new information for performance haters.

4.  Revisit the Asynchrony of Flash and Embrace Multicore

This may just be baked too deeply into the programming model, but it sucks.  Sometimes programs want to be able to block until something happens, and when they can’t they wind up wasting their time and you mobile device’s battery life to no good end.  This asynchronous stuff is a throwback to not having a real multi-thread model for Flash, and in the Multicore Era, that’s a liability.  Sure, current mobile platforms don’t have many cores.  It doesn’t matter.  #3 is really only a stopgap.  In the Multicore Era, if you want to completely crush the competition on performance, do it with more cores.  When I was at Oracle, it was all about building benchmarks that could use more cores than SQL Server.  Once you use more cores than the other guys, you become almost exponentially faster.

And while you’re at it, you will deliver a model that is much friendlier to developers.  Being able to deal with multiple threads and blocking should be the basis for Flex 5.

5.  Embrace the GPU and Knock ‘Em Dead With 3D

Last point.  For most machines, the graphics processor is the most powerful CPU in the machine.  That’s a big surprise to many, but hey, it’s true.  That sucker has got vector processing going on just like the old Cray supercomputers.  There are companies building supercomputers out of them, for Heaven’s Sake.  Our freakin’ Air Force uses the GPU’s in Sony Playstations to build supercomputers fer cryin’ out loud.  I know it is a pain to go native on the GPU.  Sometimes the OS doesn’t help you very much.  But you have to find a way to get your developer’s hands on those beautiful MIPS.  This is especially true since Flash is all about the visuals.  While you’re at it, build a killer 3D subsystem for Flash so peeps can create virtual reality, 3D modelers, CAD/CAM, killer FPS games, and a whole of others things you haven’t even thought of.  With #’s 3, 4, and 5, nobody will be able to touch you on the performance front.

6.  Bring Back the Flock with a Cross Compiler

In many ways, Apple’s insistance on anything but Flash is like an old-fashioned shelf space war straight out of the pages of Ye Olde Shrink Wrapped Software.  If I build my app in not-Flash, it is a pain for me to go back to Flash no matter how much I like it.  It is worse if my not-Flash is on a super hot platform, because I kind of want to just keep writing not-Flash on that platform once I get hooked.

Here is the thing: if HTML5 is really as limiting as Flash devotees claim, it should be trivial to translate the limited functionality of HTML5 to Flash.  While you are at it, please undertake the slightly less trivial task of moving Objective-C to Flash.  Sound hard?  It is a little, but not any harder than all the other stuff you need to do.  Besides, I’ll bet you can do this one as a joint project with Google.  Why?  Easy:

Take any award-winning iPlatform app.  Feed source into your new cross compiler.  Push a button.  Get back an award-winning Android app written in Flash.  BTW, you can have it on your desktop or anywhere else too.

Now what iPlatform developer could resist that if it all works great?  Don’t think of it as aiding the enemy by giving developers an opportunity to start from HTML5 with less downside.  The developers that will use this are already lost to you, and you need to bring back your flock.

7.  Keep Your HTML5 Powder Dry

By now Adobe, I expect you’re really feeling pretty unhappy with this post.  The stuff I am telling you needs to be done is not easy, and it won’t be cheap.  At the same time, you know in your heart that this is what it really takes to win this war.  It’s about to get worse.  HTML5 is coming.  All of those other steps will only allow you to maintain your lead for longer.

You need to recreate everything that is great for your platform on HTML5.  But, you need to keep it in the backroom until the timing is right.  Don’t dribble it out.  Do big quantum leap releases.  Your first one should not be an also-ran.  It should establish Adobe as the premiere resource for HTML5 developers.

It’s just that simple

As I’ve said, this is a hard road.  But, if you don’t follow it, if you don’t dig down deep and go to war now in a meaningful way, you won’t catch up later.  You’ve got a great platform.  If you want to keep it, you know what to do.

Posted in apple, flex, Marketing, Open Source, platforms, ria, strategy, user interface | 6 Comments »

Apple, Adobe, Punctuated Equilibrium, and Commoditization

Posted by Bob Warfield on April 13, 2010

Lots of kerfluffle around Apple’s refusal and downright blocking of Flash on its platforms.  Developers like John Gruber are stating the obvious in explaining why Apple is behaving this way.  Techcrunch is piling on, since Steve Jobs is referring people to Gruber.

BFD, I explained all this years ago and in more than one post.  It really is extremely obvious what’s going on.  The more interesting question is, “Where will it lead?”

I’ve written also about how platform vendors should behave like Switzerland.  Apple most assuredly is not behaving like Switzerland.  Under the banner of making insanely great products, they’re doing the equivalent of being a Swiss bank that makes you agree to terms that effectively lets them own all of your customers and tax all of your revenues.  Evil?  Probably.  Yes, let’s make no mistake, there is Evil here in the sense that Google used to proclaim they would not do.  Apple wants to lock up customers and tax them for every cent of revenue they possibly can.

For the time being, this strategy will work great, but Apple should be aware that they are using artificial scarcity to drive demand.  The user experience offered by the iPhone and iPad are sublime, and there are no good enough alternatives yet.  Hence the artificial scarcity.  But it is artificial in the sense that sooner or later someone will produce a good enough alternative, at which point we get commoditization.  I’ve written about the parallels of evolutionary biology and business quite a lot.  Apple’s case is no different. The “i” products have created a punctuated equilibrium.  This is a fundamental change that gives those organisms a tremendous advantage.  They rapidly gain share in the ecosystem as a result.  However, Nature abhors such ownership, and so do the markets.  Other organisms will copy the traits that made the upstarts successful.  They will blunt these advantages and slow their growth.  There are too many dollars at stake driving that desire.

Can it happen?

Well, it’s getting harder.  Apple has the full benefit of network effects.  Consider the online auction space.  Once upon a time there were a huge number of auction houses.  Today, there is largely only eBay.  A network effect happens when each new member of the network brings even more value than the previous joiner brought.  It is an exponential growth in value, and hence switching costs.  At some point, it is too hard for new players to show value.  The danger in Apple’s products is therefore not the compelling UI’s, but the switching costs.  Take my Kindle.  In a very short time I have put several hundred books on it.  Would I switch over to Apple’s formats?  No.  I’d lose my several hundred books, or at the least, I would have to fool around trying to remember which format and reader I need to use to access a particular book.  That’s a network effect.  Cell phone companies do the same with their contracts.  Ironically, I want to upgrade my iPhone and give it to my son so he gets a hand-me-down upgrade.  I couldn’t until recently because my AT&T contract wouldn’t let me.  Apple is doing the same around apps and media with the iPhone and iPad.  Facebook and Twitter, BTW, are huge because of network effects, and it will be hard to ever unplug that advantage now that it is built.

Several things need to happen very quickly in order to thwart Apple’s growing network effects.  First, people need to be aware that this is what’s happening.  Make sure you understand the network effects and lock-in that you’re becoming a participant of.  Be careful, because there are even stronger variants than what Apple is offering.  I have argued in the past with Fred Wilson about streaming media.  Get roped into allowing your media to be strictly streamed by a few providers and you are well and truly locked in.  Second, Microsoft, Google, and whoever else needs to wake up.  You have a major problem with your Product Management and Strategy people.  Why are you unable to successfully copy Apple’s products to produce a “good enough” alternative?   Microsoft, in particular, you did it before with Windows and Mac.  Your new Kin phone seems to be a flop from the get go.  Did you forget that your role is to commoditize other people’s ideas?  Sounds tawdry, and it has certainly been proclaimed as Evil, but looked at in this kind of light it really isn’t.  It’s about providing alternatives.  Google, your Android is much better, but geez, it needs to get better a lot faster.  Time is running out as Apple builds network effects.

Where are the Open Source community and standards making bodies in all this?  Open formats and digital rights management that transfers across devices is critical.  Portability and interconnection rule when defusing network effects.  Even if big third parties like Microsoft and Google are just sailing under the Open Banner to make money, it’s doing a service by blunting a growing monopoly.  Media owners, do you want to be marginalized by Apple?  That’s what will happen.  You backed Amazon down on Kindle (first on text to speech and then on pricing) before it was too late because you were afraid.  What are you doing with Apple?  Alternate content distribution channel owns (pretty clearly I am talking to you, Netflix, and you, Amazon–maybe you two should merge), what is your plan to navigate these waters?

What can Apple to if it senses a revolt?  Lots of things.  It’s being extremely heavy handed at the moment.  I never heard anyone accuse Apple of humility, after all.  Totally blocking Flash is not necessary to preserve lock-in.  One could argue there is enough valuable Flash content that it is slightly counter-productive, in fact.  Apple is simply having trouble dealing with the meta-nature of computers.  It is hard to define a Turing platform like Flash in such a way that it can’t become a Trojan horse.  In fact, it may be impossible.  Instead, it is necessary to individually vet each Flash application and have the flexibility to revoke the authorization of that app if it misbehaves.  For Adobe’s part (and any other would-be platform developer), they should facilitate allowing this kind of control.  It is better to have more Flash applications than fewer, even if they must operate in shackles in the Apple world.  Apple knows how to peacefully coexist.  Their PC business flourishes after they finally adopted Intel chips and allow virtual machines to run Windows.

I give this another 2-3 years before it becomes impossible to change the page.  If that happens, we’re stuck with the monopoly until there is another punctuated equilibrium.  That happened with Microsoft, and it took years and the Internet to get there.  It happened with Intel’s microprocessor dominance.  In both cases, the resultant products were inferior even to many peers during their time, but the network effects were too strong and the better peers didn’t get in position soon enough.  A failure to stop one of these snowballs is how monopolies are built, and they’re extremely lucrative.  Each day you wait it becomes a little bit harder.  That’s the nature of network effects.

Posted in apple, business, flex, Marketing, Open Source, platforms, strategy | 5 Comments »

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ADX Portal Data population

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Atheists Rally for Persecuted Unbeliever in Indonesia

The atheist community has embraced the cause of an Indonesian man, Alexander Aan, who was beaten and jailed after denying God’s existence on Facebook and posting cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.

The Center for Inquiry, a Washington-based humanist organization, launched a petition Tuesday (July 17) on behalf of Alexander Aan, a 30-year-old Indonesian civil servant currently serving a 30-month jail sentence for “deliberately spreading information inciting religious hatred and animosity,” according to the judge who sentenced him.

The petition asks the Obama administration to pressure the Indonesian government for Aan’s release and for better protection of religious freedom in that country, the most populous Muslim nation in the world.

“We are hoping that this petition will promote Aan’s cause and put it in the public consciousness so we can build a better coalition to get him out of jail,” said Michael De Dora, CFI’s director of public policy. “It should matter to all human beings any time another human being is being denied basic human rights.”

Aan was arrested in January after posting “God doesn’t exist” and cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad to the page of a Facebook group he started dedicated to atheism. The group had 1,200 members.

A crowd came to his house and beat him, according to news reports. Aan was charged with blasphemy and persuading others to embrace atheism, both crimes in Indonesia. In June, he was sentenced to jail and a fine of 100 million rupiah (about $10,600).

Earlier this month, Aan released a letter from his jail cell that thanked his backers for their "support and love." He added, "Without this I feel alone.”

CFI posted the petition via We The People, the Obama administration’s website where anyone can bring a cause to the White House’s attention. They have 30 days to garner 25,000 signatures before the Obama officials will consider it.

Atheist Alliance International has also lobbied for Aan, pressuring the Indonesian government to release him and starting a legal defense fund in his name.

CFI has held two rallies on behalf of Aan, one outside the Indonesian embassy in Washington and another outside the Indonesian consulate to the United Nations in New York. There are also plans for a stand-alone website and a sign-on letter on Aan’s behalf.

“It depends on what happens with this petition,” De Dora said.

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