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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I am a little wary to see the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Stephen Sondheim collaboration, "Sweeney Todd" only because I feel so loyal to the version I grew up with. I know, I know, I need to give it a chance. I realize that unlike movies, plays are meant to be reinterpreted time and again and different actors should be allowed to inhabit the roles. But this one is so close to me. It's like reading a great book and having it adapted to the screen. In your head, you have heard one voice. In your head you have seen one face.

After so many years of listening to two voices (Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury), it's going to take a lot for me to love this demon barber over the ghosts of the past.

I'm being a snob, I know.

Monday, November 26, 2007

After I dragged my bloated body into work, I realized that I haven't written in over ten days (that, and the gentle prodding of my old friend, Steve). Sorry. I know everyone has been waiting with baited breath for the next chapter of the Malchus saga to begin.

Julie's folks arrived in town on Wednesday night and we had a very low key Thanksgiving this year. It was a pleasant change of coarse from our usual holiday celebrations. As custom, we wind up at Budd and Karyn's with Karyn's family and 2000 other people in one house. I love having so many people around. Still, it was very peaceful to just hang with our small family. I know that Julie was excited to cook the Turkey and command the kitchen with her mom. We have never had Thanksgiving at our home, so I was excited, too.

I did something potentially stupid by purchasing a ticket for the April Springsteen show in Ananheim. We can't afford it, but it's Springsteen. I figure, if I don't go to Starbucks for the next 100 days, I will have saved the $100 it cost to buy the ticket. That's my logic and I'm sticking with it.

Jake's been having a real hard time with his breathers lately. He's really struggling with having to take the time to do them. He fights having to sit down and do them and calls them boring. In addition, he tries to end his vest treatment before the 14 minutes is up. Julie and I have reamined strong. It's hard, though. He gets so upset and sometime breaks into tears. You can see it in his expression that he just wants to be like other kids who get to sleep in to a reasonable hour and just eat, get dressed and go to school. God, how I wish his life could be that way, too.

Then I think of the thousands of other kids with CF who do not have the good health that Jake has. And I think about this 12 year old girl that Julie has been reading about who was so healthy one day then caught some nast virus and is waiting for new lungs. Last week, a new study published in The New England Journal of Medicine found that lung transplantation in children with cystic fibrosis does not increase survival for the majority of the children studied. You read something like that and your heart just stops.

How do you fight a monster that is able to sneak around your defenses and weaken you when you least expect it. I don't know. I only know that we have to keep up the treatments and we have to be dilegent. We have to do our job and parents to make sure that Jake is healthy no matter what.

One day at a time, you know? It's like, I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I only see my feet being illuminated. That light is there, but I'm too busy to worry about if were going to make it because I can only do this one day at a time.

Sometimes I wish I were more spiritual. Sometimes I wish I could turn my heart over to God so freely like the millions of people you read about each day. What's stopping me? I don't know. Instead of relying on my faith, I sit around and worry, pulling my eyebrows out one hair at a time.

I'm so tired of this bullshit. It's not fair.

It's just not fair.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The next Ben 10?

On Sunday, we attended a screening of the live action "Ben 10: Race Against Time" movie that will premiere next week on Cartoon Network. Jake was beside himself because he's been waiting for this movie since they announced it would be made back in March.

The presentation was great and the network did a nice job accommodating all of the families. In addition to the costumed characters walking around, the lead actors were friendly enough to get their picture taken with the gaggle of young kids on hand. That included Jacob, who was wearing the one of a kind Ben 10 shirt that my mom sewed him at the last minute. We called her on Sunday and she had it to us by the next Saturday.

Thanks Mom!

Anyway, we forgot our camera, but Julie had her cell phone. The quality of the picture isn't great, but you can see how excited Jake is to have his picture next to the "real live" Ben 10 (the actor's name is Graham Phillips). As soon as we entered the theater, kids were gawking at Jake's shirt and adults were commenting on the adorable boy in the Ben 10 shirt. I told my mom she could make a killing if she started sewing the shirts now and selling them on the the Internet.

Happy Birthday, Jacob

Today is the little guy's 6th birthday. There are so many issues in our life right now that it would be easy to get crushed under the weight of daily stress. But on a day like today6, I'm reminded of what is so right in our lives. This boy, this miracle that laughs and dances, gets pissed and throws dramatic tantrums, and who is full of so much joy and love, this boy is what is right.

The day he was born is so vague to me now. I have more vivid memories of the days following his birth. The time in the NICU. The moments of confusion when the doctors said they were gong to perform surgery, then they weren't, then they decided to fly him to UCLA by helicopter for the surgery after all. I'll never forget that weekend spent in UCLA where he was placed next to children much older than him and in much worse physical shape.

I'll never forget the doctor releasing him to us and finally driving home from UCLA all the way back to Santa Clarita. Through all of the turmoil and fear, there was still optimism that everything was going to be okay.

Maybe I'm a fool for saying this, but everything is okay. I know Jake has to take a lot of medicines. I know that from the outside it may appear that he's one sick little boy. But he isn't. Jake is a normal little boy who loves his mommy and daddy and his big sister, Wo-Wo. He's a normal little boy that who loves 'Ben 10' and 'Teen Titans'. He's a normal little boy that loves Springsteen. Maybe I did that to him, but you get the point.

I take that back. I am not a fool. Everything is okay.

This morning in the shower, as I stood there half awake, shaving, I thought about how just before Jake was born, I questioned how someone could love two children equally, but not the same. Before Jake was born, I didn't think I'd have room in my heart for a another child like I did for Sophie. As soon as I held him in my arms for the first time, I realized it was possible. I realized that your heart has many compartments and each child fits into those different compartments in their own unique way. I can hang out with Jake in a different way than I can with Sophie. We have bonded in a different way than Sophie and I did. And that's the way it's supposed to be.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

What the...? "Deceit" on DVD!

I know what you've been thinking. "Hey, Scott, when is Lifetime going to air that movie you wrote again?" Honestly, I couldn't tell you. But, I can tell you that the movie, entitled "Deceit", will be released on DVD next week.

At this point, I know it will be available to buy from Amazon. However, since it's being released by Thinkfilm, I'm optimistic that it will also show up in Hollywood Videos and Blockbusters across the country.

Still, we all know you want to OWN your own copy, right? Sure you do. Really.

Here is the cover art.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in concert 10.30.07

I could have written a short review of Springsteen live at the L.A. Sports, but "fucking awesome" doesn't begin to do this particular concert justice. So, without further ado, here is my long winded, worshipping write up of the E Street Band show from last week.

The Los Angeles Sports Arena is a sweltering old concert venue that seemed like an odd choice for a superstar rock act to perform at, what with the glittery Staples Center just up the road. But Bruce Springsteen is no ordinary rock star. He’s done Staples (back in 1999) and hated the atmosphere. With the LA Forum unavailable, Springsteen and his musical family, the trusted E. Street Band, descended down into the Sports Arena for two sold out shows to end October with a bang, not a whimper. I was lucky enough to score one ticket for the October 30th show (the second night), justifying that the steep ticket price my birthday present this year. What a great present it was. It was pretty damn close to perfection and ranks as the best I’ve ever seen the band perform live.

The scheduled start time was 7:30 pm. I arrived with a minute to spare, wearing the sweet sweat stench of a man who spent the day at work and an hour and a half on the jam packed LA freeways fighting my way to downtown L.A. Wading my way through the crowd of mostly 40 and 50 year old baby boomers, I was pleasantly surprised to see the children of so many Springsteen loyalists brought along to experience the glory and the majesty of the E Street sound.

The dingy, faded blue gymnasium seats and the enclosed feeling of the Sports Arena reminded me of the Richfield Coliseum, where I saw so many rock concerts in my formative years. With the exception of the Halloween spirited jack-o-lantern lights on the floor and amplifiers, the open-air stage was the same set up as previous tours. No frills. Why mess with something that works, right? Massive speakers hung from the rafters next to large screens for video projection. The setting is definitely old school, perfect for a tour supporting Springsteen’s current masterpiece, Magic. It is an album with lyrics that address the pointed political present but juxtaposed with melodies that hearken back to the 70’s and 80’s sounds that made the Boss famous. Unlike previous tours, I purposely avoided any reviews or online postings of the set lists. Sure, I knew there’d be plenty of the new songs, but I didn’t want to know any specific order or what classics he’s been digging up. I wanted to wonder and be amazed.

The band members wandered out on stage in no apparent order. The silhouettes of guitarist/ consigliere Little Steven Van Zandt and Big Man, saxophonist Clarence Clemons could be made out, and Max Weinberg was clearly visible in the backlight as he climbed up behind his drum kit. But the Man himself was nowhere to be found. A blue light shined down on Danny Federici sitting behind his organ as he began playing ominous chords reminiscent of an old Hammer Horror film. Fog swept out from backstage and six crew members, dressed in hooded black robes and wearing white beards carried out a casket. They set the casket down center stage and Little Steven walked over with Springsteen’s signature Telecaster guitar in hand. Van Zandt looked down, shook his head with a pursed lip and held out the guitar. Suddenly, an arm shot right out of the casket and grabbed the telecaster! The stagehands monks hoisted the casket to face the audience. There he was, not dead, but the living and breathing savior of rock and roll, Bruce Springsteen.

Dusting himself off, Springsteen Looked out at the sea of heads and shouted, “Is there anybody alive out there?”

With a roar of approval, the band exploded into “Radio Nowhere”, the first single for Magic. They sounded tight, better than any band should having only been on the road a couple of weeks. They rocked hard, making a proclamation to the sold out crowd to get ready to have their asses blown away! From “Radio Nowhere”, they went straight into “The Ties that Bind”, one of my favorites from The River (with its great lyric “It's a long dark highway and a thin white line/Connecting baby, your heart to mine”) then finished their opening volley with “Lonesome Day”, from The Rising. On the latter, I nearly broke down. The songs on The Rising are intrinsically tied to my family and that period in 2002 when we had (barely) begun to grasp Jake’s diagnosis of cystic fibrosis. I missed the kids during that song. I wanted them by my side.

Next up was “Gypsy Rider”, from the new album. It’s a song that has burrowed deep into my psyche and gets more powerful with each listen. In it, the narrator recounts the return of his fallen brother from war and the effect it has on the soldier’s family, friends and divided hometown. The despair in the last line gives me chills every time I hear it. Tonight was no exception.

By this time, I’d been on my feet singing every word, pumping my fist at every chorus. I’m sure I looked like a raving lunatic, or worse, one of those freaks you always see at rock concerts. The mood came down as the band played the title track from the new album. Bruce addressed the crowd about the meaning behind the song, that it isn’t a song about hocus pocus, but about tricking people. This clear allegory for our country’s leaders had a couple of musical miscues, including some awkward harmonies between Bruce and his wife, Patti Scialfa. Something must have been off technically because I’ve never heard them mess up their singing like that before. Still, Nils Lofgren’s acoustic flourishes and Soozie Tyrell’s violin playing more than made up for the false notes.

After “Magic” ended, Little Steven began a swamp boogie guitar lick that sounded very familiar. I turned to my neighbor and shouted, “The hell? Are they playing ‘La Grange’?” I expected Bruce to start saying “A how how how” at any moment, but I was way off base. Out came the harmonica and a bullet mic. When that harp began the cry, I suddenly knew what song it was. “Reason to Believe”, the closing track from Nebraska. I imagine this may have been what Bruce wanted the song to sound like way back in ’82. This arrangement transformed the dark, bluesy number into a roadhouse rocker. I half expected Steven Tyler to come out and join in the fun. The show was in full force now. I had no clue what to expect next and I was fucking thrilled.

With a youthful force, the band played “Night,” the first of several songs I have never heard live before. The guy next to me leaned over, asking if the song was “She’s the One”, that other classic from the seminal album, Born to Run. I shook my head “no”. He shrugged, as if to say, “this still kicks ass.” Much to our surprise, the very next song was, you guessed it “She’s the One”. With Max pounding that Bo Diddley beat (dum-dum-dum-dumdum), everyone in the house clapped along with him. On any given night, this song would be a showstopper and the band could consider their job done. But, come on people, this is Springsteen, and we had just reached quarter mark of this marathon.

“Livin' In The Future” followed. This new track is one of the most upbeat, spirited songs Springsteen has recorded in nearly 30 years. Seriously. The lyrics, though, are heavy, man, an examination of the way our government has trounced on our constitution in the past six years. Springsteen took the opportunity to explain the meaning behind the lyrics before actually singing the song. As the band vamped behind him, Bruce did some of the speechifying he’s known for. It didn’t work. Sorry, Boss, I love to hear what you have to say, but you should have chosen one of the other tunes from Magic to teach a civics lesson. The dialogue drained the life out of the beginning of the song and it took until halfway through for the energy to rebuild. Still, I was pleasantly surprised to see so many of the concertgoers on their feet, singing “Na na na na” at the end. If that brief lapse in attention lost some of the crowd, as soon as “The Promised Land” began, all was forgotten.

Of the hundreds of songs in Springsteen’s catalog, I feel like this one, from 1978’s Darkness on the Edge of Town, best captures what he has been trying to say since the 70’s and it still says it best. With the crowd still cheering, Bruce called Nils and Little Steven over and called an audible. The two guitarists spread the word through the band. “All right,” Springsteen told us, “we need some woman power.” Then, the band began one of Patti’s songs from her recent solo record, Play It As It Lays. If you think this was some kind of charity gesture for Bruce’s wife, you’d be wrong. The band has played this song on numerous tour stops and by that night, whatever bugs there must have been are gone. Patti and Bruce sang duet on the sultry number. Nils and Danny once again shine and this track sounded like it was written for the E Street Band all along.

“Town Called Heartbreak”, with it’s chorus “You gotta work, baby, baby” is a nice compliment to the next song, a stellar “Tunnel of Love”. This song was the highlight of show. Bruce and Patti sang side by side and shared a mic, inches apart. It’s remarkable to see. They are the new century’s Johnny Cash and June Carter. They were pitch perfect. And Nils. Christ, that man is a god on guitar. He brought more soul and passion to that six-minute song than Eddie Van Halen brings to two hour of pyrotechnics. When the song ended, I was freakin' drained. But guess what, I didn’t have time to rest because “Working On The Highway” was the next song. No time to sit.

“Devil’s Arcade”, a heart wrenching new song from Magic was next. This song has grown on me with each listen and through the performance, as I sat there, I could feel my emotions welling to the surface. The song ended with three strong spotlights literally shooting through Max as he pounded out the final heartbeats of the song. Powerful.

Quickly, Bruce called out a quick dedication and they began “The Rising”. More than “Lonesome Day”, this song pulls my heart apart. Besides the subject matter, it’s the first song Jake and Sophie learned. I can still see them running around in Hawaii with their new ukuleles, singing “Come on up for the rising!” I sang every word, wiped my eyes and nose and missed Sophie and Jake even more.

The next two songs came from Magic, “Last to Die” and the anthem “Long Way Home”. Most of the crowd sat down and absorbed the music. I did not object and sat with them. On these songs, as with the entire evening, the harmonies between the large group were near perfect. I couldn’t get over how in sync all nine members of the band throughout the whole night. It may sound easy, but spread out across that large stage, there could easily be a slip here or there. The final song of the “1st set” was “Badlands”. Not much more can be said about this song. It’s a classic and the crowd knows it by heart. Springsteen was having a blast entertaining a young girl sitting on her dad’s shoulders at the front of the stage. At one point, he leaned down and let her strum his famous guitar. What a memory for that girl! Springsteen, perhaps energized by seeing second and third generation fans in the audience wore a huge smile the rest of the night.

After the lights went down and the band left the stage, something wonderful happened. The crowd continued singing the harmony part from the bridge of “Badlands”. Over and over again, everyone was singing, “Whoa oh oh oh oh whoa!” The only time I had ever heard something so in sync and beautiful was the end of the 1987 U2 concert at old Municipal Stadium, when the crowd of 70,000 continued singing the end of “40” as they left for their cars.

It must have been no more than five minutes when the band returned to stage for the finale. First up was “Girls in Their Summer Clothes”, a song so catchy that even those unfamiliar with the new album were singing along by the second verse. This tune should be a radio hit, it’s that wonderful. But Bruce Springsteen’s new songs don’t get played on the radio. “He’s too old,” the corporate executives say, “kids won’t listen.” I say those executives are out of touch. I say that kids are listening and you can hear the Springsteen influence in artists as varied as The Hold Steady, Jason Marz, The Killers and The Arcade Fire (who came onstage at a recent show in Canada). In addition, Springsteen’s work ethic should be celebrated and held up as the standard and not the exception. All night long, the 50-something E Street Band mates performed longer and harder than musicians half their age. And there was no better example of their stamina than the very next song. “Here’s a pre Halloween treat for Los Angeles”, the Boss said just before he started 1973’s epic, “Kitty’s Back”. Like he’d done throughout the evening, Springsteen controlled his voice, making it sound younger to better match how it was originally recorded. And the Big Man, Clarence Clemons hit every damn note as if his life depended on it. Danny and the Professor shined in extended solos, and even the backbone to the band, the venerable Gary Tallent on bass, stepped up to the microphone to sing backup alongside Little Steven. This may have been a run down sports arena in the heart of Los Angeles, but it might as well have been some firetrap dive club in Jersey, Philly or Cleveland. Springsteen proved once and for all why he earned the nickname “The Boss”. He twisted and bent his guitar strings making them wail and moan. This was the biggest surprise of the night and it left everyone speechless.

After that 10-minute frenzy, Kitty left town again and the band played its two biggest hits, “Born to Run” and “Dancing in the Dark”. During “Born to Run”, which we’ve all heard a thousand times, what could have been a plodding, methodical run through still sounded fresh and vibrant. Maybe it was because I was singing along with my compadre beside me, pumping my fist with each “whoaaa!” Or perhaps it was because I was thinking of Julie, but I loved hearing this song. The final verse, when Bruce sang “Together Wendy we'll live with the sadness/I'll love you with all the madness in my soul/Someday girl I don't know when we're gonna get to that place/Where we really want to go and we'll walk in the sun…” That’s Julie and me. Whatever sadness we have in our lives, it’s countered by our love for each other and our love for our family.

The show concluded with every member of the E Street Band joining Bruce out front to play the raucous “American Land”. This song was born during Springsteen’s last tour with his Seeger Sessions band and can be found on the Live in Dublin cd. For the first time ever, Springsteen scrolled the lyrics on the video monitor for the audience to sing along to. One would think that adapting this folk song to the sound of the E Street Band might not work, but it fit right in. The Big Man played penny whistle, Danny and the Professor played dueling accordions, Little Steven pulled out his trusty mandolin, while Bruce, Patti and Nils tore it up on guitar. With the entire band lined up on stage, it was the perfect ending.

After the show, I wiped my face and plopped down in my seat to wait out the crowd to clear out. I was covered with sweat, tears and snot and felt like I’d run a marathon. My hands throbbed from the constant clapping and drumming on my thighs; my throat was raw and aching for water. I reached for the small notebook I had carried in my back pocket and to my surprise a small fraying spot in the denim near that pocket had given way. A large hole, the size of a quarter, was clearly visible to anyone watching me walk by. I wasn’t worried; I had on clean boxers. And if anyone were to ask what happened to the back of my Levi’s, I could tell them that I had my ass blown away by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band.

Monday, November 05, 2007

It's Monday. Is there anything else that really needs to be said? I spent the weekend cursing about having to purchase a trash disposal we can't afford, installing said disposal and then marveling at what a handy man I'm becoming. At this point, the only thing I haven't replaced in the kitchen sink is the kitchen sink. Knock on wood that will never happen.

The Writer's Guild has gone on strike and that effects me in no way possible, at this point and time. The one opportunity I had to join the union passed before I even knew it was there. The producers of "The American Standard"... er "Deceit" offered to help me get into the union. Unfortunately, filming had already begun and according to the rules on the WGA website, I missed my opportunity. Great. Still, I figured another opportunity would be right around the corner. Yeah, I'm still waiting.

As a writer, I am in agreement with everything the Guild is fighting for. The studios make a shitload of money off of DVD sales (like, how many times do the release and rerelease movies just to make another buck? New Line alone released how many versions of "Lord of the Rings"?) Despite their claims that DVD sales are needed to offset the high costs of shooting movies, I think that's a crock.

The bad thing about a strike is that a lot of people struggling to make ends meet are now without a paycheck. I have friends in the Guild who have children and are barely getting by. This is going to kill them, especially with the downturn the California economy has taken in the past six months. Hopefully this will be worked out soon. With the DGA and SAG contracts up next summer, things could get really ugly real out here in CA.

One positive from the weekend was a meeting with Jay Ellison, who graduated from Bowling Green and hails from Medina, Ohio. He's a filmmaker and has a good head on his shoulder. Jay read my script, "Blood Brothers", a werewolf story, and wants to raise the money needed to make it with Tony directing (and supervising the monster effects). We're in the early stages and there are hundreds of things to work out (a meeting between the director and Jay would be nice) but I feel positive about this one. Julie and I have discussed his age (mid 20's) a couple times. Is he too young? Is he in over his head? But I look at guys like Spielberg and Tarantino, who dove headfirst into filmmaking. Age didn't matter. Any guy who approaches me with a business plan is ahead of the game, in my book. We made "King's Highway" with none of that organization and have suffered numerous times because of it. I'll keep you updated as things progress.

Speaking of "King's Highway", I have removed it from the iKlipz website because of some very, very interesting developments in the past two months. I can't say much more, but things could be very exciting come February.

I hope to have the Springsteen review in a couple of days.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

November 1st... the start of another year

I tell ya, everyone should have the opportunity to take the day off of work on their birthday. There is nothing better than spending time with your wife and kids on a special day and having some relaxing moments to reflect on who you are, what your life is all about, and what you hope to achieve in the next year. I realize that most people do this on New Year's Day, but shouldn't it happen on your birthday?

So here I am, 38 and still working toward that brass ring. I've nabbed the sucker a couple of times in the past 8 years, but never been able to grab it and clutch it as mine. But I'm not giving up. No, I've found inspiration again in a couple of projects that are sprouting in my head. And I've returned to the words of Springsteen, whose lyrics to "Racing in the Street" have carried me through so many rough times when I felt like I'm going nowhere.

Some guys they just give up living
And start dying little little, piece by piece
Some guys come home from work and wash up
And go racin' in the street

I have to keep on working. I have to keep on writing. Something will break. The odds are in my favor. Now that "King's Highway" appears close to getting the distribution we have so desperately sought for four years, maybe some doors will finally open and I'll be able to make a living as a working writer. I don't know what happened in the past week, I really don't, but I feel rejuvenated. Even spending four hours swearing, banging my head and wrenching my back replacing the kitchen faucet did not phase me.

Today is a good day. Today I feel alive and excited about the future once again. And now I have something to look back on when the days aren't so good.

It has been a happy birthday, indeed.


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Terms of Endearment and Moms’ Deepest Fears. Also, Childcare Myths.

by cv harquail on March 12, 2009

Over in the Skribit feature, as a suggested topic, an anonymous person asked “How to deal with the fact that the child calls the Au Pair ‘mom’.”

Etsy TessaAnn.jpeg When I first saw this topic suggestion, I planned to ignore it. I wasn’t sure it was from a real host mom.

Honestly, how many times have you heard about this happening, with any kind of childcare provider? It’s more like a myth/fear about childcare, a myth/fear nurtured as part of western patriarchy’s plot to keep women at home in the kitchen wiping snot off the noses of toddlers, and stuff like that.

How come we never hear about kids calling their full-time mannies “Dad”? Hmm?

But, what if we take this suggested topic (somewhat) more seriously…?

I don’t think that this happens often, even in families with single dads where there is no actual Mom present. But where it does happen, obviously there is too much going on that it can’t be discussed on a blog.  At that point, you go talk to a counselor, social worker, or clergyperson. And, you talk to your parenting partner.

Okay, now let’s take this topic suggestion really seriously, in a way that we all can consider on a blog. We can ‘interrogate’ the myth/fear. When this kind of myth/fear touches us, we can ask ourselves:

  • How anguished are we at the thought of having our children cared for, in part, by someone who is not a parent?
  • How fearful are we that our children don’t have enough love to share with their paid caregivers as well as their parents?
  • How lacking in creativity are we that we can’t give our children loving ‘terms of endearment’ that capture the special relationship, the special kind of love, that can be shared between a child and a non-parent adult who cares for them?

The only way to address the myth/fear that this suggested topic touches upon is to start at the very beginning, at the initial premises upon which we became parents.

There is a category in the list of topics on this blog called “Your Host Mom Approach”. If you’ve ever clicked on that, you’d discover that there are many posts that address “Your Host Mom Approach” as part of a different topic, but also that there are no posts only about “Your Host Mom Approach”. This is because I have so much to say about what can comprise a useful and loving “Host Mom Approach” that I have no idea how to fit it into one post.

I love you all on Flickr - Photo Sharing!_1234460730712.jpeg

For the sake of this topic– might we consider:

– What kind of “Host Mom Approach” obviates this sort of concern?

– What kind of Host Mom Approach makes this topic a non-starter, a fiction, a myth, an absolutely RIDICULOUS concern?

I’ll start.

Here are two beliefs that are fundamental to my Host Mom Approach:

1. Children need to be surrounded by love, they need to be cared for in a loving way. While no one expects that a paid caregiver or a caregiver who is ‘part of the family’ for a year will always “love” the children they care for, we can ask them to treat the children in a loving way. We can choose caregivers based on their willingness and their ability to care for our kids in a loving way.

2. Children have a lot of love to give. There is no need to fear that love given to a caregiver takes away from the love available for a parent.

Remember what you told your first child when you were expecting your second? Remember telling her that, when another baby joins a family, everyone’s heart gets bigger so that there is more love to give? Well, it works the same way with kids. The more loving people they experience in their lives, the more their hearts grow.

What’s a fundamental belief of your Host Mom (or Dad) Approach?

Dawn March 13, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Well, I’ve actually had my kids call the AP “Mom” before — but it’s not a regular occurrence, and it’s certainly not anything that concerns me! (It’s basically the same kind of thing as when I sometimes have to run through the names of everyone in the house, including the dog, before I call my kid by the correct name — or am I the only person that happens to? LOL!)

As you indicate, I think that this issue can arise when we have any kind of caregiver caring for our children — it’s not specific to APs, although perhaps the fear of your child “preferring” someone else to you is exacerbated by the fact that the AP is living in your home and a part of your child’s “family.” There are a lot of complex feelings involved in entrusting someone else to care for your children — not the least of which is the “mommy guilt” we feel for doing so. But ultimately, as you say, I think that our children’s lives are enriched by having lots and lots of people who love them. As for the flip-side, the child loving the AP, I see that as the ultimate goal! If my children love our AP, that means that they are happy and secure in her care. I’d certainly much rather that than to have them moping around and pining away for me the whole time I’m at work!

Anonymous March 14, 2009 at 11:33 am

Oh i have heard about that alot among my au pair friends and their friends again.. it’s usually when the kid is very young and the parents work full time

Darthastewart March 18, 2009 at 7:46 am

My kids have all done that at some point or another. And at the moment my little one calls my friend mom (she babysits sometimes), the au-pair mom, and I’m mom. We joke that he has 3 mommies… The looks we get are hysterical.

Euromom October 18, 2010 at 5:23 am

It’s also worth noting that children in creches call their caregivers mom also. My sister works in a creche and she said there is not a day that goes by when one child or another (especially the little ones with limited speech) will call her mom. This is also a very regular occurrence with teachers in kindergarden.

And if you think about it I think it shows how relaxed and loved the child feels with that person when “mom” slips out. It is the ultimate compliment.

Comments on this entry are closed.

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Child Portfolios

The Portfolio templates are a collection of purposeful records that are used as evidence and samples of a child’s achievement throughout the year. Each of the templates are bright and colourful and give parents an insight into their child's learning. They can also be used as an end of year keepsake for each family.

Subscribe to Newsletter Updates

© 2009-2017 Aussie Childcare Network. All Rights Reserved.


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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Top Sirloin. The Breakdown.

 In celebration of Memorial Day, and my income tax return, I thought it'd be great to document the breakdown of a Top Butt. This was by far the hardest cut of meat for me to master and I've done the cutting tests / yield-to-margin tests to prove that done correctly, this is the most profitable (and enjoyable - to me) way of breaking this primal down. A great deal of variety can be found in this primal, and it literally took me years to decipher the intricacies.

       The Top Sirloin is a primal that comes from the top of the steer's butt, which is why you'll also see this referred to as the 'Top Butt'. Very Scientific. Anyhow - This primal houses a few secrets including the Brazilian cut, the Picana, (Culotte, Rump Cap, many names), Top Sirloin Steaks and a nice Chateaubriand - type roast that makes excellent portion-sized steaks.
Starting with the bottom-left of the primal, where the muscle has been cut with the grain, is the beginning of the Culotte. This muscle extends from the Bottom Round, wrapping its way down and around the femur but is most tender towards top butt.  In the center of the primal you can see the beginning of the Petite Sirloin Roast, and hidden behind a veil of heavy tissue and silver - Literally where the steer's leg meets the hip - lays the Top Sirloin.
The first step of trimming down the Top Butt is getting rid of the heavy bone tissue - don't add this to your trimmings, discard this stuff.
Removing the 'hard break' is just like removing silver skin, though it's much more dense, the principal the same.
Work the tip of your knife under the tissue and push forward at a slight angle. Finish the stroke by flipping the knife towards you, pulling the tissue taught and cutting it away.
This is nice, tender meat - when you're trimming the roast down, try not to gouge the meat. Remove only the inedible tissues.
This triangular muscle grouping on top of the roast isn't terrible, but it makes better trimmings than steak... remove as much of this as you'd like.
For the untrained eye, this picture makes it difficult to see, but there's a band of 'bubble gum that form in the Thoracic Vertebrae (At the neck and Chuck), runs through the Rib Primal, Shortloin and ends in the Top Butt. This little bit is the last of it, so I usually trim enough meat from the top of it to open a space for my knife to get underneath it to clear it away.

Expose the meat, but again - do not gouge.
You can follow the fat down and around the Sirloin until you reach the Culotte, at which point just clear the fat away from the top.

Now to separate the Picana from the heart of the Sirloin. Once the fat is cleared away, the seam is very easy to find and separating these two muscle is a fairly effortless task. However,  it's also very easy to go too far and remove more fat than you need to from the Top Sirloin. When you're pealing the Sirloin away, locate the outline of the Culotte and cut it away as soon as it ends, leaving the fat on to rest of the Sirloin.

Because of this cut's triangular shape, it's mistakenly referred to as the Tri-Tip, however, that is all together different than the Culotte.
To clean the Picana / Culotte, begin by removing the silver skin.

After removing the silver skin, clear away any undesired fat and shape the muscle up but cleaning the edges.
Once cleaned, you can do whatever you want - roast the muscle whole, cut for kabobs, or cut steaks. Whatever you choose to do, the cooking method will be the same - Hot and fast.

The line on the right side of the muscle that runs parallel to your current line of sight outlines the Petite Sirloin. You can either seam this muscle out, or cut straight down - either way, this line is your marker.

This time, I cut straight down to separate the muscle in two.
Trim away and silver and clean the muscle to your preference.

Tie the roast for steaks...
... and cut your steaks - this roast yielded 6 evenly sized steaks.
For the Top Sirloin, clear away any gristle and silver.
Once you've trimmed away the gristle, make your face cut about two inches from the hip-end of the Sirloin.

The picture is a little rough, but this gives you and idea of what it should look like.

After facing, cut your Top Sirloin Steaks. This roast yielded 5 Top Sirloins. Nice!

And there you have it. The whole Top Butt cost me about $75 - untrimmed it weighed around 9.25#, and here's the bounty. There's about 1.5# worth of Culotte / Picana , 2.25# worth of Petite Sirloin steaks and 4.25# worth of Top Sirloin.
Invest in some some heavy duty butcher paper and this will last 6 months or more in the freezer. If I bought all of this at retail, the price would have been significantly more, plus processing meat is incredibly fun for me, especially at home.

Thanks for sticking around through my dormancy - next post will likely be a tutorial for bringing old knives back from the dead, reconditioning them and a quick lesson on knife sharpening.

  1. Thanks for the awesome post. Do you have any tips on the best way to freeze meat to minimize freezer burn and moisture loss?

    1. wrap it well in plastic wrap and try your best to get all the air out then in butcher paper to insulate it. Place in a deep freezer if you want to keep it for months. The goal is to avoid temperature fluctuation as much as possible. whats happening is that the water in the meat, being a very active molecule even in solid form (ice), is migrating to the surface and evaporating without turning into its liquid form. I think its called sublimation, im not 100% sure on that though. but you end up with a frozen piece of dried meat hah.

    2. Yes water going from solid to gas (ice to evaporation) is called sublimation.

      This was a great guide, I hope to put it to use someday soon!

  2. Great stuff keep up the posts.

  3. Thanks! You saved me...mom to 11...overcome by the temptations of 75lbs of sirloin at Costco. Knives at the ready I made my girlfriends laugh hysterically as I scrolled through your post and followed your lead. Whoot!

  4. I did link you here http://urbanservant.blogspot.com/2012/10/dreaming-of-cow-meat.html....hope you get a little traffic!

  5. Wow Thanks I was buying hole strip but the fat layer got so thick that I was buying more fat then meat so I switched to buying hole sirloin. More meat for the money!


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The Authentic History Center Your current position is:
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Audio Interviews With African American Former Slaves
Charlie Smith
Recorded 1975

Mr. Smith was born in c.1844 in Liberia, Africa and was allegedly 130 years old at the time of this interview. In the interview, he talks about being brought over on a slave ship from Africa, the buying and selling of slaves in New Orleans, the Civil War, the naming of him by his master, his relationship with his master and his time spent in slavery.

Recorded on March 17, 1975 in Bartow, Florida. Interviewer is historian and folklorist Elmer Sparks.

Note: Controversy exists about the validity of Smith's claims. For more information, read his Wikipedia page here.

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Entries in authenticity (32)

Win a copy of The Authenticity Hoax

Time for a contest, I think. Inspired by Authentic Dining Week -- and especially by the use of the prefix "pre" as the definitive marker of the authentic -- I'm asking readers to send me authenticity-items that best exemplify or reflect the themes in the book. It can be from any realm of the culture -- art, music, politics, teh Internets -- and it can be on any of the main aspects of the authenticity hoax, viz: conspicuous authenticity, dopey nostalgia, reactionary politics, you name it. Send pictures, links, quotations, stories, anecdotes or whatever to me: jandrewpotter at gmail.com

I'll post the best entries here and give out a few books to the best ones.

Death of the Author 2.0

The principal consequence of what I (and many others) have called "Culture 2.0" is that it made the old sharp distinctions between producers and consumers of culture more or less obsolete. The fight over the fundamental question -- who does the culture belong too, anyway? -- is what has motivated what has broadly been called the "copyright wars," but which we would rightly have called "the culture wars", if that excellent term hadn't been used to describe a much stupider conflict.

The fight has taken place on many levels, from the strictly legal to the moral to the outright metaphysical. And while I've been fairly sympathetic over the years to the copyleft/creative commons side of the argument, many of its more strident advocates have gone too far, and committed serious category mistakes.

First, they have gone too far by often arguing that copyright law is itself illegitimate. But as Lawrence Lessig liked to remind people, the whole creative commons idea was underwritten by strong copyright protections for creators (i.e. you can only permit the expansive use of something you already own). Second, the blurring of the old distinctions has been used to justify a great deal of straight cultural theft, on the grounds that "no one ever really creates anything anyway". Call it Death of the Author 2.0.

In an essay on the Barnes and Noble website, Andrew Keen (author of a hilariously written corrective to the prevailing net populism, The Cult of the Amateur) takes on a pair of  plagiarists, one of whom -- in classic Squid and the Whale style -- justifies her theft on the grounds that it's all about authenticity. The culprit this time is Helene Hegemann, who responded by saying: "There's no such thing as originality anyway, just authenticity,"

This is bullshit on stilts, as philosophers used to say. Keen takes the reasoning apart, noting that the sort of "authenticity" these authors champion has the effect of driving  "us deeper into ourselves, thereby isolating us from one another. Rather than a radical subversion of tradition, the doubt they champion is not a hunger for reality, but a hunger for their own reflection in every window looking out upon the world."

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2013 Buick Verano Turbo turns up the power

June 11, 2012

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Buick is adding a turbo variant this fall as the premium model for the Verano lineup.

While it's meant to be sporty, the idea behind the sedan is to offer buyers a reasonably powerful option that allows for more amusing commutes, but admittedly, it isn't a dedicated performance model.

This is a measured approach, which means extra output for expressway merges and launches from lights, but no hard-core suspension or brake packages. It does get a dual exhaust, a rear spoiler and sportier aluminum-and-rubber pedals.

“Our target market is a performance upgrade,” chief engineer Gary Altman said.

The key feature is the 2.0-liter four-cylinder borrowed from the Regal GS, which does purport to be more of a sporting machine. The engine makes 250 hp and 260 lb-ft of torque in the Verano, enabling sprints to 60 mph in a claimed 6.2 seconds. It's paired with a six-speed automatic or manual transmission.

That's a considerable power boost compared with the naturally aspirated 2.4-liter, 180-hp, 171-lb-ft I4 offered now. The turbo variant also gets a retuned suspension and steering feel, which will be slightly more responsive than in other Veranos. But the entire line, which just launched late last year, is getting adjustments based on the turbo model's chassis settings.

The Verano takes aim at the Audi A3 and the Lexus IS250 as aspirational targets, while setting the Acura ILX squarely in its sights. The turbo will be the top model in performance and pricing among Veranos, and precise prices will be announced closer to the on-sale date this fall.

Buick has sold 11,578 copies of the Verano this year, including 3,609 cars in May.

By Greg Migliore


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Friday, March 14, 2008

Troubleshooting Yugma v3

I have been using Yugma for a while but recently had some problem, like many other, when upgrading to Yugma v3. My understanding is that when you go to the Yugma home page and click on start a session, the site checks through an applet if you have Yugma already installed:

  • If Yugma is installed, it starts it.
  • Otherwise it asks you to download the Yugma installer.
Somehow my machine must have been stuck between the two, with the applet thinking that Yugma was installed, but then failing to run Yugma. Symptoms for this are errors like "Application cannot run without file" or "Error number 1". Here is what I did to install Yugma on my Mac:
  1. Download Yugma SE. This is still based on Yugma v2, and installs just fine.
  2. Start Yuma SE, login into Yugma, make sure that everything works as expected.
  3. Download the Yugma Mac Installer. (Thanks Erik for the link!) (If you are on Windows, you need the Yugma Windows Installer instead.)
  4. Run the installer. At the end it will complain about a missing Acknowledge; this will exit Yugma.
  5. Copy the file /Applications/YugmaSE/properties/ to /Applications/Yugma/properties.
  6. Now start /Applications/ If everything works, you're back in business!

Santosh said...

What I'm getting Yugma V3 is more featured. Some issues are with upgradation but I handled it very well. If wanna help write me.

Alessandro Vernet said...

Thank you for the offer. I manage the get through the upgrade, but it wasn't a straightforward process. And the issue is that when you have a meeting, and you have a few other people on the phone that have to go through the upgrade at the beginning of the meeting, the upgrade has to be very straightforward. If it just fail for one of them, you are stuck.

Manoj said...

Hi, Yugma V3 is working fine if your network is working fine then Yugma Installer do not have any issue. if you still found isuue in upgradation then click here need more help then write.

/Slash said...

I found a Youtube video about Yugma's vision. It's actually quite interesting.

Thom said...

New link to app installer is

Their site isn't very cohesive. It doesn't change enough when you're already logged in. I finally found the link when I clicked "Start a Session (Start Here)" -- Normally I expect to download the client first so I'm all prepared BEFORE I try to start a web sharing session...

Alessandro Vernet said...

Great video for Yugma. I really hope that Yugma will do more testing in the future before releasing a new version.


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Toy Fair 2013 – The Loyal Subjects

TF2013 LogoEach year at Toy Fair, I came across a booth in the middle of the show that just knocks my socks off. This year that booth was The Loyal Subjects’ booth. They had on display their collection of G. I. Joe and Transformers vinyl figures. With a semi-deformed aesthetic these really caught my eye, particularly the Joe ones, which haven’t had that sort of treatment before. Of these figures, the Joes will be released first with the Transformers following soon after.

Also on display were some skate decks and t-shirts, and while I didn’t snag any pictures of the shirts (you can see them on their website); I will say that they’re super soft, have great printing and seem like a great shirt. I’m pretty sure I’ll be adding one (or more) to my collection.

Check out the gallery below for pics of each figure and check their website for more details.

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Women in Horror Month Australia

Friday, February 21, 2014 / 7pm / Bar 291 Albert Street Brunswick, Melbourne Victoria

Description From The Organizers:

This Feb 2014, we are holding a fundraising gig which would include special guests, live acts and short film screenings.

With funds raised, we wish to donate to a charity that deals with domestic violence and sexual assault against women, WESTcasa.

All the while, promoting women’s involvement in the genre of horror and exploitation through this controversial, yet artistic platform.

Special guests include…

ISABEL PEPPARD Butterflies – a stop motion animation

BRIONY KIDD & REBECCA THOMSON Stranger With My Face Horror Film Festival.

The eternally gore-jus Horror pin up/actress Skye Medusa

Miserys Malice of TRASHARAMA and Miserymalice’s Shooting Spree (who has also been kind enough to donate prints featuring a brand new photography concept that relates directly to our cause.)

The lovely Fif Assault / Fifi La Roux will be our host with the most, rocking the MC and keeping us on out toes!

Trashing the perception of perfection with garters, beer and cherry red lipstick BURLESQUE PERFORMER, Dallas Vandal will be just one of the awesome acts in between SCREAMings!!

We are also oh so lucky to have Melbourne Gorelesque’s own and Australian Burlesque darling, Betty Blood!!!

Films screening on the night include…

Isabel Peppard’s multi-award winning short Butterflies.

Rebecca Thomson’s darkly comic short film CUPCAKE – A Zombie Lesbian Musical

Along with Ursula Dabrowsky’s INNER DEMON promo we are fortunate enough to be screening some incredible shorts from the Stranger With My Face Film Festival.

We are also highly anticipating a very special P.S.A. announcement as well as a personal message to be screened to everyone on the night from the Twisted Twins themselves, The Soska Sisters! tWIStED tWINS PRODUCtIONS

As all good things must come to an end, we decided ours should go out with a BANG! So, we invited everyone’s favorite 3 piece trash-sleaze rock act Muscle Mary to close for us!

The lovely and talented Melbourne based lads, Clint Cure and Adrian Goodman have joined forces to produce a mega male filmmaker advocacy sideshow on Feb 13th!!

You can check out this event here ….


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Sunday, June 22, 2008

the BIG lake

Lake Oroville in Northern California is huge. It has a surface area of 24 square miles and a shoreline of over 167 miles. It was created by damming the Feather River. This earthen dam is as about 800 feet high and over a mile across making it one of the largest dams in the world. Lake Oroville is part of the California water project which supplies water for agriculture to the Central Valley and also for the thirsty residents if arid Southern California.

I took these photos either at the lake or in the surrounding area which includes the town of Oroville, California.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

down by the sea

I took these photos near the quaint town of Port Orford along the Oregon coast. It's a town populated mostly by fishermen and artists. I can understand why artists migrate here because this town is set against one of the prettiest coastlines anywhere along the Pacific.

Enjoy the slide show with the poetry of Rod McKuen and the music of Anita Kerr. Just
click on the ipod.

what's the buzz?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

wickham stone park

Wickham Stone Park (circa 1969) is a collection of folk art, consisting of over 30 life-size concrete statues of political figures,Indian chiefs, politicians,patriots and religious figures. The park is the lifetime creation of Tennessee folk artist Enoch Tanner(E.T.) Wickham (1883-1970).

More information about the folk art of E.T. Wickham is available at Wickham Stone Park.

(Click on statue below for a description)

Buck Smith Road

E.T. on Bull
Bull Plaque
Dr. John Wickham
Austin Peay
Totem Pole
Kennedy & Co
Davis & Marsh
William Hudson
Oxen Team
Boone & Co
Father Ryan
Fatima & Sundial
Virgin Mary
Cemetery Angel
Andrew Jackson
WW II Memorial
Alvin York
John Wickham
E.T. Wickham
Fort Campbell Soldier
Fort Campbell Soldier

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

water sculptures

I recently took photos of these bronze sculptures in Reno, Nevada. These were created by sculptor John Battenberg and line a wall following the downtown Truckee river walk. They are quite impressive with water constantly flowing over them.


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Kitchell Archives

Kitchell completes Casa Grande Medical Center renovations

by in AZRE Magazine | Construction | In The Spotlight

Kitchell recently completed a remodel of the lobby of the Banner Casa Grande Medical Center, part of a re-branding of the hospital as one of the Banner family of healthcare facilities. Additional work to be completed includes work on the main entrance, utilities, roofing, building envelope enhancements and site work. The 30-year-old facility, located at… Read More →

Kitchell completes first phase of Scottsdale Bible Church renovations

Kitchell recently completed the first phase in transforming the Scottsdale Bible Church campus at Shea Blvd. and 76the Street. The work included construction of Grace Chapel, which serves as a “front door” to the entire 18-acre campus, as well as the Special Ministries classrooms and the Student Center. In addition, Kitchell remodeled administration areas, a large bathroom… Read More →

Russ Korcuska returns to Kitchell

Kitchell recently welcomed Russ Korcuska back, in the position of director of market development. Korcuska brings 20-plus years of experience managing commercial construction projects ranging in size from $5,000 to $558 million. “Russ’ depth of experience within the A/E/C community, combined with his drive to deliver exceptional customer service and passion for quality excellence, will… Read More →

Spirit of Enterprise Award Finalists named

Arizona is still recovering from the Great Recession, and many local businesses are playing a key role in the comeback. Today, some of the state’s best companies are being recognized as finalists for the 18th annual Spirit of Enterprise Awards from the W. P. Carey School of Business at Arizona State University. The prestigious awards… Read More →

St. Joseph’s and Barrow’s add new board members

The Board of Directors of St. Joseph’s Foundation recently elected two new members for Fiscal Year 2015. The new board members are: Barry Berman, of Scottsdale, graduated from the University of Wisconsin with a bachelor’s in business administration, a major in finance and a minor in accounting. He began his career as an equity trader… Read More →

Az Business honors Most Admired Companies

BestCompaniesAZ and Az Business magazine honored 40 companies at the 2014 Arizona’s Most Admired Companies award reception on September 11, 2014 at the Westin Kierland Resort. Arizona’s Most Admired Companies are selected based on how a company has performed in the following areas: workplace culture, leadership excellence, corporate and social responsibility, customer opinion and innovation.… Read More →

Kitchell finishes 171KSF patient tower at Chandler Regional

Kitchell recently completed a 171,000-square-foot expansion at Dignity Health Chandler Regional Medical Center, adding 96 beds and bringing the hospital’s bed count to 339, while adding and expanding comprehensive services. “Chandler Regional is truly a community hospital with more than 50 years of history in the East Valley,” said Tim Bricker, president and CEO of… Read More →

Luxury multifamily development opens in Oro Valley

Almost a year after breaking ground, Mark-Taylor has opened its first luxury multifamily development in Pima County, the Villas at San Dorado. The community is part of a mixed-use development set against the gorgeous backdrop of the Santa Catalina Mountains. Located at the southeast corner of First Avenue and Oracle Road (10730 N. Oracle Road),… Read More →

Kitchell acquires 20-acre parcel near Sky Harbor

Kitchell Development Company acquired nearly 20 acres at Interstate 10 and 28th Street, just south of Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix for an industrial development. “Over the years we have developed several types of commercial projects including retail business parks, and multifamily, depending on the market climate,” said Senior Director of Development Ryan Cochran. “We’re… Read More →

It takes two

Valley principals host young professionals in inaugural advocates program A look around the room at a Valley Partnership Friday Morning Breakfast (FMB) reveals a who’s who of Arizona’s commercial real estate industry. You’ll see seasoned professionals sitting next to up-and-comers, and though these are an effective networking tool, Valley Partnership took the concept to the… Read More →

Kitchell donates 100 pairs of shoes to burn camp

by in Brokerage | In The Spotlight

Young burn victims attending this year’s “Camp Courage” in Prescott will be greeted their first day of camp with a new pair of athletic shoes, thanks to a generous donation from Kitchell. The company purchased, sorted and labeled 96 pairs of shoes for the campers, mostly teens, who attend the annual camp. Many of the… Read More →

Sprouts to open at Prescott Valley Crossroads

Sprouts Farmers Market is scheduled to open at the Prescott Valley Crossroads power center on June 4. The 27,994 SF Phoenix-based specialty follows the October 2013 opening of Dick’s Sporting Goods’ 35KSF store. Other large retailers soon to join the successful center are a 23KSF TJ Maxx and a 10KSF ULTA Beauty store. Both stores… Read More →

Honoring excellence in corporate counsel

by in Events | Featured | Legal

Effective corporate counsel has never been more important than it is in today’s new economy. Az Business magazine is recognizing the important and vital role that in-house counsel plays in the success of a business with the Arizona Corporate Counsel Awards (ACC Awards). The 30 finalists and winners were honored Thursday, January 16 during a… Read More →

Kitchell, Hardison/Downey Partner for Breast Cancer Research

by in Events

When they started working together on construction projects several years ago, long before they became part of the same company, Kitchell and hardison/downey construction inc. (h/dc) realized they had common visions, goals and values, resulting in increased work and revenues. But in the past year their shared passion for one particular cause is reaping benefits… Read More →


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Saturday, July 03, 2010

Dangerfield Family Story

I'm back!  Searching for dead ancestors with passion once again. I thoroughly enjoy the researching process, and this time decided to focus my attention on the English line----my Dangerfield family from Kansas, Illinois, New York & points beyond. I 'caught' the genealogy bug about 13 years ago....and yes, I'm a total addict.  Finally added 3 Family Trees to; they are works-in-progress.  I can see right now I'll be re-subscribing. I'm no writer, but was gratified to finally have enough material to write an overview about my Dangerfield ancestors.

 Here's their story:
Hannah Lavinia Stead and Edwin Dangerfield started their journey together in 1869; they married on July 18th, in Leeds, Yorkshire, England. He was a 29-yr old coal miner from Horsley, Gloucestershire, and Hannah a 20-yr old textile worker in the textile mill area of Leeds. How they met remains a mystery, but from British census records a likely reason he left Gloucestershire was to find work. By 1861, Edwin worked as a laborer in the iron works area of Wolverhampton, and was employed as a coal miner in Yorkshire at the time of their marriage eight years later. Limited choices existed for Edwin & Hannah, but their subsequent life together was a story they shared with millions of hopeful emigrants in the 19th century: parents searching for a better life for their offspring. Edwin and Hannah raised 12 children, who in turn, produced  (at least by my count at this writing) 39 grandchildren & 42 great-grandchildren. Among the descendants, I found  numerous coal miners, firemen, railroad laborers, domestics, several teachers, 2 librarians, a grocery merchant, a coal mine superintendant, a few attorneys, two sets of twins, several musicians, a music teacher, one young man in reform school and a kidnapped toddler!

Their first step to a better life in America began about a year after the birth of first child Esther, born 2 May 1870 in Leeds. Edwin emigrated first, arriving April 1871 in New York.

About the same time, 21-yr old Hannah and 11-month-old Esther were living in a boarding house in Leeds, she employed as a linen weaver. Hannah & Esther arrived four months later, in August. Evidence proves that emigrates moved to locations where existing family already settled, so it's quite likely family ties and/or work in coal mining was the reason they traveled first to Beaver County in western Pennsylvania, then moved 'next door' to Trumbull & Mahoning Counties in eastern Ohio. Only the births of the following children provide actual evidence of their journey: second child Anna, born Oct 1871 in Beaver Falls, PA and first son Joseph in May 1873 in Liberty, OH.

  No records found give an exact date or reason for their return to England. However, we know they did. Hannah's parents, James Stead (1825-) & Ann Bramley (1826-) and younger siblings (Elizabeth, John, Sarah, Martha & Arthur) still lived in Leeds so not too unusual that the next three children's births all took place in Leeds: Minnie, born November 1874, Thomas, born November 1876, and Edwin B. born January 1878.  Typical of the era and customs, the children's names were traditional: Esther & Joseph were named for Edwin's parents, Anna named for Hannah's mother & later son James for her father. Later children Thomas, Eliza, Jobe, Henry were named for Edwin's siblings, Arthur for Hannah's younger brother, and my own great-grandfather Edwin named for his father. A family of 12 children was commonplace in this era of improved birth mortality, typically the births about 18 months apart. Perhaps it was the economy, or poverty & hardships, or a growing family & the continued promise of a better life that sent them back, once again, to America.

The ship "Arizona" courtesy of

Hannah and children Esther, Anna, Joseph, Minnie, Thomas & Edwin arrived in New York on 26 July 1880, traveling steerage on the ship "Arizona". One can only imagine Hannah's journey, in steerage, pregnant, with 6 children under the age of 10. No records are found for father Edwin arriving that year, but most likely he made the trip slightly ahead of the family. Given the next birth, once again in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania of James in January 1881, he didn't leave too much earlier than Hannah & the children! A year later, it's on again to Youngstown, Ohio, where in October 1882 son Major is born. It seems quite likely existing family lived in both states, for the pattern to be repeated. 9th child Henry, born in February of 1884, probably arrived in either Ohio, or after the family settled in Scranton, Osage County, Kansas.

4th of July - Osage City, Osage Ct., Kansas 1900
Photo Courtesy
     No record exists as to their exact arrival in Scranton, Kansas but is certainly by 1885 or 1886, even though the family doesn't appear in the 1885 Kansas State Census. With both the railroad and strip coal mining in the area, Scranton was booming & work was plentiful in Osage County. The Dangerfield family joined the thousands of emigrants, as they established roots in a young country, full of opportunity for their growing family. The family continued to grow: son Jobe arrived in March 1886, daughter Eliza in December of 1887. The winter of 1890 brought the birth of the 12th and final child, Arthur in January, and sadly, less than a week later the death of their first child, Esther in February.

                                                   Little information exists regarding Esther, except that she married local miner John Hutchinson in February 1889 and died at the young age of 19 after just a brief year of marriage. It's not hard to imagine for Esther a premature death in childbirth, or perhaps of typhus. Life was rough, a hopeful yet heartbreaking struggle for our pioneer ancestors. Two brothers join Esther, as teenagers, in the Scranton cemetery: Henry in May 1899 at the age of 15, and brother Jobe, at age 17 died 28 Feb 1904, the tragic result of a gunshot wound. Likely but unverified reasons for Henry's death was something as commonplace today as pneumonia, or given the dangerous nature of coal mining, perhaps an accident.
 Coal Miners - Scranton, KS Mine #14
Photo courtesy of

The  March 1895 Kansas State census record gives us a picture of a large Victorian family, thankfully full of sons, capable of working to help support the family. Only the four youngest Dangerfield children, all under the age of 10, don't work in the mines. But next in age Major, at 13 already joined his father & brothers. Five years later, in the US 1900 Federal census, we see father Edwin & 5 sons Joseph, Thomas, Edwin, James & Major, all employed as coal miners. They own their home, free & clear and are naturalized citizens. The first daughter-in-law has joined the family too, Joseph's wife Emily.

Scranton, Kansas c.1910

Of the ten adult children, six married into other Scranton families: Esther to John Hutchinson, Joseph to Emily Butler, Minnie to David Jones, Edwin to Margaret Galligan, Major to Ellen Frye, youngest son Arthur married Barbara Thomas. Daughter Anna married Harry Streeter & later, Otis Vandermark, both from Topeka.  Thomas married Clara Petty of Poughkeepsie, NY. It's likely (but unconfirmed) that they met aboard ship in 1902, when Clara immigrated to the NY area to join an older brother.  And two other children marry & live in southern Illinois: James married Rosa Yates, and Eliza married George Hope.

Map of Scranton, 1899
Courtesy of

Apparently the family prospered enough for travel: Hannah & Edwin returned to New York from a visit to Leeds in the summer of 1900; he is listed as a tavern keeper in Scranton. And in 1901, an extended family trip took place, again to Leeds. Edwin & sons James, Major, Jobe & Thomas arrived 25 July in Liverpool and less than 2 weeks later, Hannah and children Eliza & Arthur arrived on August 6th. Early in 1902, the three married children at home in Scranton (Minnie, Joseph & Edwin) were notified, told to prepare the Dangerfield home near the depot for their expected return by May. The 6-month visit ended tragically in March 1902, on the ship Waesland. The accidental & untimely death by drowning of father Edwin occurred as a result of a fall into a lifeboat, after the collision of the Waesland and the ship Hermonides in St. George's Channel.

By 1910, economic shifts and mine closures in Osage County brought change to the nine surviving Dangerfield siblings from Scranton. Some traveled to southern Illinois, where coal mining was booming: three sons and one daughter (Edwin, Arthur, James and Eliza Hope) moved to the Williamson County, IL area as a result. Son Thomas moved his family to southern Illinois & later, Poughkeepsie, New York. Sons Joseph & Major and daughter Anna Vandermark all moved to the Topeka area, the brothers employed in some capacity with the Santa Fe Railroad. Daughter Minnie Jones continued to live in Scranton and later, Topeka. And mother Hannah Lavinia? It's unknown what happened to her after 1906 - where she died, when she died or where she was buried. That's genealogy for you.

To learn more about the Dangerfield Family in
Kansas, please take a look at
Dennis Segelquist's site at Kansas and Its Surnames:
        To learn more about the Dangerfield name world-wide,  please take a look at Howard Mathieson's site at the Dangerfield One-Name-Study. And to read more about the Sinking of the Waesland, click on "Serendipity" for the story.

References and Sources

1841-1901 British Census Records
1875-1925 Kansas State Census Records
1870-1930 US Federal Census Records Family Trees
Baldwin City Signal Obituary, Kansas
Bill Allen/Dangerfield One Name Study
British Birth Certificates, GRO-UK: 1840, 1849, 1870, 1874, 1878, 1879
British Death Certificate, GRO-UK, 1902
British FreeBMD Online Records
California Death Record, 1974
Carbondale Record, 1933 Illinois Newspaper Obituary
Flodin/Dangerfield Family History
Herrin, Illinois 1965 Newspaper Obituary
Hope/Dangerfield Family History & Documents
Howard Mathieson, Dangerfield One Name Study -  IGI Records
Illinois Online Marriage & Death Index
Interment Online Cemetery Records
Johnston City Progress, 1933 Illinois Newspaper Obituary
Major Dangerfield Family History
Marriage Certificate, 1869 Leeds, England
Missouri Online Birth & Death Index
Neissl/Sheehan Family History
New York Public LIbrary Digital Image Collection
Osage Ct, Kansas Archives, Obituaries & Cemetery Records
Passenger Lists, New York & Philadelphia
Perry County, IL Cemetery Records
Petty/Dangerfield Family Records
Poughkeepsie Journal, NY - various obituaries
RootsWeb Archive Boards: Hope & Dangerfield
Scranton City Cemetery Records, Osage Ct., Kansas
St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 2010 Missouri Online Obituary
Social Security Index
Steckenrider/Dangerfield Family History
Streeter/Dangerfield Family History
The Times, London Mar 1902, account of inquest & death of Edwin Dangerfield
Topeka/Shawnee Public Library, Genealogy, Obituaries
Topeka State Journal 1933 Kansas Newspaper obituary
Topeka State Journal 1929 Kansas Newspaper wedding announcement

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

..::first entry::..

this blog starts today. i think it is gud to hev a space for myself to let go my inner feelings. sometimes it is to difficult to explain.. to express myself.. to let my inner frustration goes.. and when it stuck inside you and can't let go, you just wanna scream..but you just can't.

sometimes you hev to ease whatever burden that tend to squeeze ur heart out...that tend to steal the air that u breathe...that tend to rip whatever goodness that u hev left.. so it starts today... till then...

Ijann Hj. Marzuki said...

hehehe... 4 tahun kemudian... masih mengomel... :p slamat berblogging! :D

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Monday, October 8, 2012

National Midwifery Week

Excitement galore!!!

October 7 thru 13 is National Midwifery Week!!!

It's a time to celebrate midwives across the country...hooray!  As you may or may not know midwife means with woman.  It's our great joy, honor and pleasure to be with women as they journey through their lives...including but not limited to their pregnancies, labor and birth.

We just spent the weekend up in Payson on our annual midwife retreat.  It was invigorating to spend so much time with my midwife partners.  The passion and dedication to women and midwifery was so apparent and contagious. I know all the midwives in our group do not consider our occupation a job or career but rather  a calling.  We are proud to be midwives and we take that calling very seriously.  In doing so we also celebrate all our clients as well- mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers and aunts who have birthed and/or supported women who have birthed.  So this week let me call all women to celebrate ourselves.

One way to celebrate ourselves is to care for ourselves.  Below is a pledge we can all take that encourages us to be active participants in the type of health care we receive.  We must value who we are and recognize the importance of us in the lives of our families and friends.  We are needed by our families and by society.
Everyone deserves the type of healthcare we desire and to be active participants in healthcare decisions. So in honor of National Midwifery Week and women everywhere I strongly encourage you to take the following pledge along with all the women in your life.  Make caring for yourself one of your callings, value yourself as much as you value all the other women in your life...cause we value each and every one of you.

Thanks for all the support you've given us midwives at Bethany Women's Health Care and  all the support you've given every other woman in your life. Have a wonderful week!

Take charge of knowing what your options are—it’s your body and your health. Make a promise to yourself today to be the most informed health care consumer you can be. You deserve it!
I promise to take control of my own health. I will make decisions for myself based on facts and the type of care that means the most to me in maintaining my health.
I promise to better understand the choices I have in managing my health care. I will learn more about my personal health preferences and explore the care options available that can best meet my health needs.
I promise to be an active decision maker in my care. Medical procedures performed on my body without my knowledge or understanding are not acceptable.
I promise to put my health first. I will educate myself on ways to improve or maintain my high standard of health and talk to my care provider about how they can help me meet these goals.
I promise to improve my health care experience. I will become informed about different health care providers and approaches to care and use this information to improve my own experience as a health care consumer.
I promise to encourage others to take charge of their health. I am a force for change and will inspire my friends and family to better their own health through awareness and action.
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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Reflecting on the road with Lynnette

Today as I was leaving the Y after doing my 30 minutes on the bike I saw a former patient working out on the elliptical machine, "trying to lose her last few pounds of pregnancy weight" :) . Her baby is already 3 months old and she's, of course, madly in love with him. We talked briefly, mostly she thanked me for the care she received during her pregnancy and birth. She mentioned that with her first birth in Michigan she couldn't do what we were able to do here, and she was thankful that our kind of care was available to her.

We frequently hear from women who are thankful for care where they can labor freely without being tethered to the monitors, where they can use the tub for comfort, where IVs are not mandatory, and where their requests are acknowledged and implemented whenever possible, including getting the epidural (if that's part of their plan).

Today as my husband and I drive north past Flagstaff toward the Grand Canyon with all this beauty around me, those words of gratitude come back to me. I'm always amazed and grateful when I can "get outta town", but today the gratitude that's touching my heart is toward the strong, beautiful women who put their trust in us to guide them through their pregnancies and births. It' s such a gift to us to be allowed to accompany them through such a personal and intimate time in their lives, and I am truly awed and thankful to them for the lessons they teach me.

I also feel gratitude toward Bethany Women's Healthcare and Phoenix Baptist for providing the opportunity for Certified Nurse-Midwives to practice. Unfortunately, as many women know, midwifery care is very limited. I've been lucky enough to be with this practice for12 years and it's easy for me to forget how very lucky I am. I work in a very diverse practice, with wonderful supportive partners and truly beautiful women who seek care from us. Can life get any better? So, as I look at all this natural beauty surrounding me -the Vermillion Cliffs, the Colorado River and the Grand Canyon -I'm also reminded of the natural beauty of pregnancy, birth, and all the strong women I've had the pleasure of spending any time with during the past 12 years. Thank you for your trust, and the lessons you've taught me.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Pregnant Patients' Bill of Lynnette

     All healthcare providers get into this profession for their own reasons. Over the years I've considered my own reasons and have come to the conclusion my strongest passion is to give personal, individualized care. A pet peeve of mine is when a rational reason cannot be given for doing a procedure, or when something is being done for the convenience of a provider rather than comfort of the patient, or just because "it's what we always do".
     When people are in the hospital the combination of being in unfamiliar territory and the attitude of care providers that they are the experts makes it difficult for patients to voice their individual requests. Women deserve and have the right to care that they are actively involved in formulating. The pregnant women's bill of rights defines those rights. !
     As the third trimester advances most women settle into the reality of the work they have before them and start preparing for the birth of their baby. Part of that preparation involves dealing with questions about what is going to happen at the hospital. Unfortunately, birth has been hidden away in hospitals for years now and has become a medical event where many families feel they lose control over decisions about their care. Many women have never been a "patient" in the hospital prior to labor and the institutional aspects of a hospital takes them out of their comfort zone. That along with the feeling that nurses and doctors are "experts" who deal with birth everyday so they must know what's best for them make women more willing to hand over control or less likely to question "routine " procedures. Often procedures are just "done" without fully informed consent or explanation- IV starts, continuous monitoring, withholding solid food, limiting ambulation. Knowing your rights will enable you to assert your rights when it comes to procedures you may or may not want or need!
     In addition many providers are so busy in the office there is very little time during visits to ask questions or discuss what the birth will actually be like. Women need to remember that as consumers, paying for the services they are there to get, they have the right to have input in their care. Women also need to keep in mind their provider is in charge of their care, not the hospital staff or institution. Nurses are carrying out orders from the provider, so it is essential that you've discussed and participated in the formulation of the plan of care for you labor, birth, newborn care and postpartum care. You along with your provider make the decisions for yourself and your newborn after you obtained informed consent from your provider. Keep in mind that the consents you sign as you enter the hospital are very broad and that you the right to question and amend those consents.
     The Alliance for the Improvement of Maternity Services (AIMS) has outlined the Pregnant Patient's bill of rights. It's an important document that all pregnant women should read and consider as they prepare for birth. Birth should not be a "one size fits all" event. It's a very individualized, very personal experience that will be remembered for a lifetime. Women and their partners should have input into their care and the bill or rights helps to ensure they are given informed consent regarding procedures so they can have that input, knowing also that plans may need to be changed under various circumstances. But knowing your rights will strengthen your ability to deal with changes as they arise. The bill of rights gives you freedom in making choices for you and your baby that are aligned with your personal desires to make your birth something to happily anticipated and remember with satisfaction. Please follow this link to read and learn more about the Bill of Rights.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Skin 2 Skin

From Kate Paxton...

Early this morning, I was called to a birth of young woman.  Her labor had progressed significantly and it became obvious she would inevitably deliver her baby at just 33 weeks and 5 days.  We called in one of my favorite Neonatology Nurse Practitioners (NNP) – she’s aware of the need to evaluate and help babies transition as smoothly as possible.  Now this kind little boy – Brannon – helped us tremendously by flinging out his tiny arms and giving a nice big howl.  I placed the baby onto the mother’s abdomen and he continued to cry and transition well – allowing us to delay clamping or cutting the cord, so he could get all the extra blood he could from his placenta.  The mother was able to speak with the baby and welcome him to this world.

Perhaps the sweetest moment of every birth is that moment when the baby arrives and snuggles up, babies chest to mother's chest, in mother’s arms.  This moment is not just a nice scene – there’s a lot of science to support the practice of skin-to-skin contact in the immediate postpartum period.

My favorite way to help a baby transition to the “extrauterine environment” – that’s science-speak for ‘the world outside the womb’ – is to deliver the baby to the mother’s abdomen.  As long as the babe is stable, this allows for delayed cord clamping and skin-to-skin contact.  Delayed cord clamping has been shown to result in improved iron status of babies up to even six months of age.  The baby can obtain about a fifth of its blood volume through placental transfusion following the birth – and this may make a big difference in the health and well-being of a baby.  For preterm babies – like little Brannon this morning  - delaying cord clamping for even a short time can help the babies transition more smoothly.  The World Health Organization Reproductive Health Library and the Cochrane review suggest delayed cord clamping is the standard for care of stable infants.

As we allow the cord to pulse oxygen-rich blood into the baby, who is using his lungs to breathe air for the very first time, a lovely place to put that baby is on the mother’s chest.  In a Chochrane review of over 30 studies, the research showed “that babies interacted more with their mothers, stayed warmer, and cried less. Babies were more likely to be breastfed, and to breastfeed for longer, if they had early skin-to-skin contact. Babies were also, possibly, more likely to have a good early relationship with their mothers, but this was difficult to measure.”  The WHO Reproductive Health Library described the ideal situation – that “early skin-to-skin contact (SSC) begins immediately after birth by placing the naked newborn baby prone on the mother’s bare chest.”  This library also reviewed a great number of studies and found that SSC after birth helped reduce crying, improve the mother-infant interaction, keeps the baby warm, and helps the mother successfully breastfeed.

The International Breastfeeding Center lists a number of benefits of SSC from birth to the first hour: The baby…
•  Is more likely to latch on

•  Is more likely to latch on well

•  Maintains his body temperature normal better even than in an incubator

•  Maintains his heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure normal

•  Has higher blood sugar

•  Is less likely to cry

•  Is more likely to breastfeed exclusively and breastfeed longer

•  Will indicate to his mother when he is ready to feed

Although we understand how special these first moments are on an intuitive level, there are untold numbers of hormonal and sensory interactions occurring in these precious moments – perhaps areas available for future research.  Until then, we can trust that there’s good science to support these midwifery practices.  Mothers should be encouraged to hold, smell, kiss and snuggle their newborns on their own chest, with direct skin to skin contact.  This is the time when mothers are learning their baby’s cues and babies are learning their mother’s environment.  So, consider these practices when writing your birth plan.  The midwives at Bethany Womens Healthcare are happy to support these practices for your birth.

Friday, December 16, 2011

"The Twelve Gifts of Birth" at Christmas

Everyone remembers the classic Christmas song " The Twelve Days of Christmas". It reminds us of this special time of year when we share gifts, enjoy family and friends and fill our hearts with love. For some, it is also a time to celebrate birth!

"The Twelve Gifts of Birth" by Charlene Costanzo captures the spirit of this joyous season and reminds us of the miracle of birth and the wondrous gifts that we all are born with. I would like to share it with you.

The first gift is Strength...May you remember to call upon it whenever you need it.

The second gift is Beauty...May your deeds reflect its depth.

The third gift is Courage...May you speak and act with confidence and use courage to follow your own path.

The fourth gift is Compassion...May you be gentle with yourself and others. May you forgive those who hurt you and yourself when you make mistakes.

The fifth gift is Hope...Through each passage and season, may you trust the goodness of life.

The sixth gift is Joy...May it keep your heart open and filled with light.

The seventh gift is Talent...May you discover your own special abilities and contribute them toward a better world.

The eighth gift is Imagination...May it nourish your visions and dreams.

The ninth gift is Reverence...May you appreciate the wonder that you are and the miracle of all creation.

The tenth gift is Wisdom...Guiding your way, wisdom will lead you through knowledge to understanding. May you hear its soft voice.

The eleventh gift is Love...It will grow each time you give it away.

The twelfth gift is Faith...May you believe.

May your gifts be Peace, Love and Joy this Holiday season!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Open house

Open house is at our BWHC location: 3660 W Bethany Home Rd (south bldg)

Open House

Hope to see everyone today for the Open House. 4-8PM! Lots of great prizes, food and fun!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Save the date!!

October 20, 2011
Bethany Womens Healthcare Midwifery Center
3660 W. Bethany Home Road
Phoenix, AZ 85019

You are happily invited to join the Midwives of Bethany Womens Healthcare for the

Grand Opening Celebration

of our Midwifery Center. We can't wait to share all our new programs, our renovated space and patient-centered care with you.

Come bring your family, friends and  have some fun with us celebrating our new digs!