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Thursday, 28 June 2012

Little touches that make a BIG difference

One of the features of living with dementia is the constant battle over what the mind can help the body to do. As the disease progresses ability to do simple personal tasks, or even awareness that they need doing, can gradually decline, making assistance with things that were previously taken for granted much more important.

We all like to look and feel our best, and that certainly doesn’t alter when someone has dementia, even if they cannot articulate it. Their tolerance of having assistance may fluctuate however, as witnessed on the many occasions I battled to file my dad’s nails whilst he valiantly tried to prevent the emery board from doing its work.

Throughout every stage of my father’s dementia we strived to keep him looking smart and feeling as comfortable as possible. He was always a proud man, long before dementia ever came into his life, and it is almost as if his pride was transferred to us when he could no longer maintain the standards he had set himself.

Whilst it may sound quite simple, paying attention to the little touches that make life more pleasant is surprisingly time consuming. Apart from the shopping for clothes and bed-linen (dad had his own pure cotton sheets, since all three of his care homes used the cheapest, nastiest poly-cotton bed-linen that resulted in him sweating at night), I became an expert in keeping him clean shaven (if the carers had not had time), maintaining short nails (essential to limit his scratching) and regularly set up in the hairdressing room to perform my duties as a barber.

When someone is living with dementia, their perceptions of their appearance can alter quite dramatically. Mirrors are renowned to cause problems, usually because what the person is seeing does not reflect what they are thinking or expecting, and in my dad’s case when he caught his reflection in a bathroom mirror shortly after I had cut his hair one day, he exclaimed that he was, in fact, now bald! (He wasn’t).

Outside specialists came in to all three of dad’s care homes to offer chiropody and eye tests, but when dad developed severe problems with his teeth (long-standing issues existed anyway, but with his dementia keeping them clean was a massive problem), we had to run the gauntlet of dental services. Suffice to say that if doctors do not receive adequate training in dementia, many dentists receive even less, and the few that we saw clearly struggled to cope with a patient who could not understand instructions. However, numerous appointments later and dad’s rotting teeth had all been removed, which may sound very drastic, but poor dental health is known to cause problems throughout the body and is a massive infection risk.

Introducing a full set of dentures to someone without the ability to comprehend what on earth is being put into their mouth, and therefore being completely unable to co-operate with this alien invasion, proved very unsuccessful. Spending many years without a tooth in his head did not bother dad one bit though. His gums toughened up, his oral health was greatly improved, and his appetite remained one of the best, if not THE best, in the whole of the nursing home.

For dad, another major problem was his skin. Keeping him cool, particularly when he had no ability whatsoever to move himself, was a constant round of opening and closing windows, using fans, adding and removing layers of clothing, and hoping that the care home could finally get their antiquated heating system to offer gentle, constant warmth rather than blasts of hot and cold. Sweating meant itching, and with no ability to tell us when he felt warm or cold, everyone needed to be very mindful of his body temperature.

Bloodied scratches became a regular feature on dad’s skin, despite those short nails and us trying glove treatment, and indeed at one point a GP even declared that dad had scabies (he didn’t, but the hassle this diagnosis caused not just to the home but to us as his family in our homes – which effectively had to be pulled apart and everything washed – is the stuff of legend). Initially we trusted in the products prescribed by doctors to treat dad’s skin, but when it got worse, it was plainly obvious that all the chemicals and synthetic ingredients were making his skin, and his mood as a result, ten-times worse.

Investment in natural skincare products made a huge difference to dad’s life, and when the carers had the time to shower him regularly and apply body creams and lotions, his skin was calm and moisturised and his agitation disappeared immediately. To anyone else watching his distress, you would have been tempted just to pop a pill into him to calm him down, but a little thinking around the problem and a perfectly logical solution was found.

Our experience was always that such small, yet common sense steps had an amazing effect on dad’s quality of life. He was always the smartest resident in the home, but more than that, his personal care also brought him calmness and comfort that he could not possibly ask for but that he really needed. The things that many of us do regularly for ourselves can easily slip when someone has dementia, but just like the ladies in the home having their nails done or make-up applied, a little bit of pampering can become a fantastic therapy, as well as giving people with dementia dignity and pleasure, and there can be nothing more worthwhile than that.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Five-a-day to keep dementia away?

Fish pie - Brain food?
Fish pie - Brain food?
One of the things I am most frequently asked is how do you prevent getting dementia? People who have seen how this disease eventually ravages a person would do anything to avoid getting it, and those who have no first-hand experience, but then hear about my father’s physical and mental decline, are generally keen to avoid developing dementia.

Sadly there is no magic solution to prevent getting this disease. The healthiest and most physically and mentally active can still develop some form of dementia during their lives. My father is a prime example of this: he was a very active, hard-working man with a healthy outdoor lifestyle, who very rarely smoked his pipe and only occasionally enjoyed alcohol. Prior to developing dementia he was not over-weight, and had a healthy diet with lots of fruit and vegetables.

The tipping point, in my father’s case, was retirement. His previously busy life as a farmer suddenly stopped; the adjustment coincided with him losing interest in some of his hobbies and his life became more sedentary. The huge mental upheaval of no longer being a working man took its toll, and where his life had previously been about the dawn-till-dusk responsibilities and expectations of tending his animals, he was suddenly as free as a bird. Sadly, however, he never found his wings within this new existence.

Very gradually the type of vascular dementia known as multi-infarct dementia (which is caused by a series of small strokes), set in. These strokes were so tiny that for a long time dad never reported any change in how he felt, even though the strokes had begun to wreak havoc in his brain, and by the time symptoms of what we now know was dad’s dementia were very obvious, damage had occurred, and would continue to for many years before he finally had a diagnosis.

Other relatives in dad’s care home also reported that their loved ones had led healthy and active lives prior to developing dementia, so is there any answer to the question of how to avoid the big D?

Given my interest and research into this subject over many years, and the expert advice, studies and tips I see on a daily basis as part of my job, I would love to report that there is a fail-safe way to avoid developing dementia. To date this has not been found though, and however well people can live with this disease, and I truly believe they can with personalised, therapeutic care in community settings that value, support and embrace them as a person, there will obviously never be a substitute for prevention.

I am not medically trained, but I absorb all the information available and one of the most powerful messages is the one reminding us that what is good for the heart is also good for the brain. I am a great believer in fresh, wholesome food, rich in fruit and vegetables, low in dairy and with meat and fish in moderation. In short, the key to our food and drink intake seems to be about maintaining a good 20% acid/80% alkaline balance.

I avoid processed, ready prepared, or take away meals, always cook from raw ingredients (including staple items like bread), and never touch anything with additives in it. I would rather have a teaspoon of raw cane sugar than anything with so much as a particle of artificial sweetener in it. In fact, in all three of my father’s care homes, where they offered residents squash (laden with artificial sweeteners) throughout the day, we banned them from feeding this to my father and brought him in pure fruit smoothies instead. We firmly believe that the nutrition within those drinks (especially considering that he could eat very few fruits raw due to his swallowing problems), helped his body to recover from the dozens of chest and bladder infections that he endured during the last few years of his life, proving what I wrote about here, that good nutrition is vital to not only preventing dementia but helping those already living with it to have a better quality of life.

I exercise as much as I can (I could always do better), am a big believer in natural (non-chemical) skincare, get as much rest and relaxation as my schedule will allow, and try to keep a healthy work/life balance. If giving the brain a good workout is as beneficial as we are lead to believe, then mine certainly gets a daily dose of that due to my job, and I have no desire to retire, which in the case of my generation is probably just as well! I have never smoked, rarely drink, never touch Coca Cola or the like, and confess to being addicted to water. Wherever possible I also source alternatives to pharmaceutical preparations, something I think most pharmaceutical companies would prefer isn’t encouraged. The only thing I do struggle to influence is the pollution in the atmosphere, which I would be the first to admit is very bad for you.

When my father was initially diagnosed with dementia, we sought the advice of one of the leading old-age psychiatrists treating him to find out her view on what could be done to prevent dementia. She recommended a ginkgo biloba supplement, while other advice I have read more recently suggests supplementing with B vitamins can help to keep the brain healthy. There are literally hundreds of studies out there suggesting positive associations between good brain health and different supplements or foods. What to believe is always the main problem, but my feeling on all things is generally that moderation is the key.

Granted we all have our own choices to make, our own lives to lead and face the consequences of our actions as a result. Whether mine or my family’s choices will make it any less likely that we will develop dementia only time will tell, but I firmly believe that anything that keeps you healthier generally is at least a step in the right direction.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Be inspired, be very inspired

There is something that touches your soul when you hear the individual stories of how people care for those they love the most. Families often make such huge sacrifices in these circumstances, completely altering the plans and lives they once had to accommodate the needs of someone so dear to them, that they would literally put their life on hold indefinitely, just to give their loved one the best quality of life possible.

Husbands and wives devoted to their other half, truly embracing the very heart of the vow in sickness and in health, children and grand-children giving their mum or dad or grandparent the love and support that they once received from them, siblings caring for a brother or sister, or more extended family members, friends and even neighbours helping to look after someone vulnerable and in need.

Every caring role, no matter what the age or health problems of the person needing care, demands such special skills and devotion, but in dementia particularly, I think the challenge of meeting someone’s needs is even greater. The mere fact that as dementia progresses the person living with it becomes less and less able to contribute to decisions about their care, in itself poses huge difficulties.

Add into that equation unpredictable or distressing behaviour of which there are numerous examples, the fact that your average home can hold previously unrecognised dangers that can put you or the person you are caring for at risk, and that at any given time you could be required to cook, clean, provide personal care, stimulation and activity, protect your loved one’s health and safety and monitor their whereabouts, pretty much simultaneously, and it is no wonder that so many carers struggle.

Meanwhile, as you are doing this, you are also trying to make the most of every moment with your loved one, who is gradually changing from the person you knew. You need time to adjust to this new reality and enjoy the simple pleasures that can still exist, and yet the relentlessness of your role can make that impossible.

All the time the carer and their loved on are on this treadmill there are only two certainties: 1) that dementia is a progressive disease and 2) that it is terminal. However, there are no time frames for each stage of the disease, no map of this journey since everyone is affected differently, and no telling how you will cope, both with your caring and your own personal feelings, further down the line as things inevitably progress.

People are not robots. Carers may often feel that they have turned into some sort of machine, but emotions bubble under the surface. Anger, resentment, guilt, sadness or the sheer claustrophobia that you can feel as a carer can all become overwhelming.  Yet people do not give up. Roles may change, as I discussed here, particularly as dementia progresses and the needs of the person living with it become ever more complex, but the love and devotion never end, even when the person you have cared for over many years passes away. I still struggle now with the adjustment of having my life to lead and it not including caring for my dad.

No one inspires me more than people who embrace a caring role, most notably those who do it unpaid and for family members, but also those who devote their working lives to caring for others. I’ve met many wonderful carers from all walks of life, both paid and unpaid, and one thing that has always struck me is how very inspirational they are. If everyone had the same love, commitment and selflessness within them then the world truly would be a better place.

If you are caring for someone right now, don’t ever underestimate the amazing contribution you make to society. Anyone who does not recognise that has never walked in your shoes, but may well do so one day and will then see just what this unique role entails. If I could make what you do any easier I gladly would, and through keeping you at the heart of campaigning for awareness, education and change, I hope that in time I will.

Since I began D4Dementia I have met in person, and through social media, many wonderful carers, and been privileged to share in their stories. Your comments are always very welcome, and I am here to answer any questions that you may have, or just provide a sounding board whether your day is a good one or a bad one.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

The carer’s job description

If you had to be isolated, unsupported and fight the system, would you apply to be an unpaid carer? This is not a position that fills you with hope for the future, gives you room for personal development, or brings the benefits of structured team work. Yet thousands of people fulfil this truly unique role; not because it was their dream job and certainly not because of the bonuses and benefits.

Caring for a loved one is a relentless, 24/7 commitment. Unless you have been in the position of having a vulnerable person depending on you for everything, is it difficult to imagine the life-changing role of becoming a carer to someone who, quite often, used to look after you. Yet this is a role that is unpaid, offers very few if any periods of respite or holiday, and makes no provision for sick leave, despite the fact that carers often neglect their own well-being because of their commitment to their loved one, making them much more likely to suffer health problems themselves as a result.

Unpaid caring is the ultimate example of selfless giving, and yet these people are taken for granted, their contribution often goes unrecognised, and many feel abandoned by the health and social care systems at the very time when they need the support of professionals the most.

Our experiences of caring for my father fall into the two most common ways in which family members support an older relative with a long-term condition. For 10 years my father’s dementia went undiagnosed, he lived at home and month by month increasingly struggled to complete simple everyday tasks. As his dementia progressed, he needed his family more and more, and we supported him as much as we could. We tried to get him the help he so desperately needed, generally failing on all counts due to the lack of understanding of dementia, until the ‘crisis point’ that I talk about here. Once that moment had passed, dad’s needs were far too complex for him to have any other option but to go into a care home.

I think many people make the assumption that if your loved one is in a home, you do not actually do any ‘caring’ any more, it is just ‘visiting’. I can assure anyone labouring under this misapprehension that if you are as hands on as we were in the last nine years of dad’s life, it is a full-time job. Granted the caring role alters, but the fundamental facets of it remain, plus you add many more to do with the politics of privately run care homes.

When your loved one is in a care home I think many people believe that all those battles for help and services, that you had when your loved one was living in their own home, magically disappear. Not so. You still have to fight for everything your relative needs, plus constantly helping and advising the care home staff, and monitoring your relative’s health and wellbeing very closely.

The unpredictability of the situation and the frequent need for out-of-hours services does not change either. I remember so vividly those unexpected middle of the night trips to A and E because dad was gravely ill; I would be tired as a rat, sick to my stomach with fear and dreading what may follow. Furthermore, because hospitals are not places where people with dementia generally thrive, you then spend every waking hour with your loved one so that you can feed them, assist with their personal care, educate the staff about them, and make sure they receive treatment that is appropriate to them.

Caring is a role that truly never ends. At every step of the way, from the early years of dad’s struggles at home, through his diagnosis of dementia and the years in care homes, to the very end, I can honestly say that caring for my dad was the one thing in my life that I never escaped from. In the meantime, I found that friends drifted away, relationships failed, my career was kicked into the long grass, and my peer group generally did not understand the devotion I felt and the duty I had.

One recurring theme I have always found talking to family carers is that however much you do, you always feel you could do more. Your maximum effort can still leave you feeling like a failure, and nothing you ever do can change the most fundamental thing that you wish you could alter, namely to take away the dementia, or whatever illness or disease they are battling, and have your loved one back again, as they were.

Given that no civilised society can exist without unpaid, family carers, it is remarkable that our supposedly very modern country undervalues this vital contribution made by the most dedicated and loving citizens that it has. The job description should read that you will be supported, helped and advised 24/7 to assist with providing the outstanding care that only those who truly care can provide. Love can do so much, but it cannot conquer all when it is exhausted, frightened, overwhelmed and alone.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

Thursday, 14 June 2012

How do you make good dementia policy?

Dad and I, 15 October 2011, a very happy day
Dad and I, 15 October 2011, a very happy day
Having spent 19-years graduating in dementia, I can honestly say that I think I know dementia pretty well. Its highs and lows, the surprises and quirks, the sadness and pain, and the endless battles you fight for the care your loved one needs and deserves whilst endeavouring to keep yourself from falling apart! You know how you would like the support systems to work, you know what you’d change if you could, and you would go above and beyond to make the lives of everyone going through that same journey as you a little bit more bearable.

The fact that I can say that there are highs at all may leave some people rather baffled, but dementia isn’t a black hole of nothing. We focus so much time on what is lost when someone develops dementia, but there are occasionally unexpected moments of tenderness and happiness too.

Take for example my dad; he was generally never a man to show huge emotion or emotional engagement. He was a loving and caring father, but not someone who showed their feelings very much.  Yet one afternoon, as I sat with dad in his care home in a state of fairly obvious upset over a boyfriend (not for the first time where this particular boyfriend was concerned I might add!), dad’s kindly smile and request to know what was wrong was so very touching, and so very un-dad like. Equally his, “Thank you for everything,” said so clearly and with tears in his eyes as I kissed him goodbye one Christmas Day, totally crumbled my steely resolve to have a good, British, stiff upper lip. Put both these moments in the context of dad’s very limited communication skills, and you see why their impact was so keenly felt and so totally unforgettable.

Yet speak to most members of the public who have no experience of dementia and they will probably paint a picture of huge negativity, if indeed they have much concept of dementia at all. They may also have very little appreciation of how dementia impacts upon the life of both the person living with it and their nearest and dearest. Yet I would venture to suggest that most people have huge capacity for learning more about dementia, showing kindness and compassion to people living with it, supporting improvements in services and attitudes and, hopefully, have a demonstrable desire to avoid developing dementia so that we may have some hope of reversing the very alarming predictions for future cases.

So how do we change perceptions, educate, and encourage everyone to bring positivity to the lives of people living with dementia? My view is that you need those with direct past and present knowledge and experience of dementia to be at the forefront of policy making, privately and publically.

Without that personal touch, the policy you end up with may be scientifically perfect, clinically expert, and from the point of view of politicians, business leaders and the health and social care sectors achieving a level of awareness that reflects their own expectations, but it lacks human emotion, and without true appeal to the hearts and minds of society as a whole, it will only ever achieve limited success.

If you want to know about frontline warfare, you ask a soldier. If you want to know about famine in Africa, you go to Africa and ask the people who are starving. If you want to know about dementia, ask the people living with it and carers past and present who have dedicated their lives to understanding dementia. We are the people who are more than just the eyes and ears; we are the lifeblood of the campaign to raise awareness, challenge dementia, and make every community the best place it can be for someone throughout their journey with dementia.

The greatest educators are people who have learnt from their own experiences, and in the case of carers past and present, from experiences that they never anticipated or welcomed but that they embraced wholeheartedly. Policy makers are missing a fundamental chance to build on the current profile of dementia if they do not welcome, engage, and put at the forefront of policy and campaigning all the people who have truly graduated in dementia. We are the UK’s greatest asset as we give dementia the greatest challenge it has ever faced.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

End-of-life care: A very personal story

Planting up my father’s grave recently, I found my mind wandering back to our last few days with him, painful in so many ways and yet hugely comforting as well. Nothing is more important to me than knowing that we spent all day every day with dad during that time, that we were with him at the very end, and that he had what I would describe as outstanding end-of-life care.

We spend so much time endeavouring to preserve life and bring quality to every moment of it, and rightly so, but given that dementia is progressive and eventually terminal, equal focus is needed on ensuring that when the end of someone’s life is drawing near, they are treated with the utmost care, compassion, love, respect and dignity, and crucially that the experience is completely personal to them.

I had never seen someone die before, and I had no real concept of how those last few days of my father’s life would unfold bar, of course, the inevitable conclusion. So many years had been spent anticipating and fearing that time, but never really thinking about how we would approach it.

When it was clear that dad’s struggles were beginning to engulf him, what we knew instantly is that we did not want his life to end in hospital. Not because the staff didn’t provide good care, they did, but with the huge pressures on a busy, acute medical ward, it was clear that dad would not have the personalised care, or the privacy, that we wanted for him.

Finding a care home prepared to meet his needs was a huge blessing, and we set about moving all of his belongings into an airy room, overlooking a garden where squirrels and cats had daily games in front of the big window. Dad would spend those last two weeks of his life in bed, unable to do anything for himself, to speak or, in the last five days, to eat or drink. What he had, however, was a lovely view, walls covered in his pictures, a bookcase full of his favourite books, his most cherished music playing continuously, a light aroma of lavender in the air and his family with him, talking to him, reading to him, and even producing an occasional ripple of laughter as my siblings and I gently teased each other in a way familiar to dad from our childhood. It was an emotionally charged time, but also in many ways a celebration of everything dad meant to us.

In those two weeks dedicated staff kept dad clean and comfortable, his pressure sores heeled with expert nursing, extra staff were drafted in to give him an hour and a half of pampering in the bath, his birthday was celebrated, and he was never left wet, dirty, scratching or in any way distressed. The compassionate staff would come and talk to dad kindly, stroke his head and hold his hands. They were also a tower of strength for us in every moment of those long days.

Caring for dad was a partnership between us and the carers, and in those last five days we kept dad’s mouth clean and moist, his skin moisturised and his room became a haven of calm tranquillity, love and reassurance. We did not want to lose him, but it was his time and he needed to know that he was loved, cherished and respected, that his work was done, his peace had come and that we would, somehow, cope without him, something that will always be easier said than done.

During that time, even though we all knew that the end was in sight, dad was as valued by everyone in that care home as much as he would have been if they’d had all the time in the world left with him. Nothing was too much trouble for the carers; dad was prioritised, never ignored, and his privacy and dignity were preserved at all times.

Our sadness at losing dad was immense, it still is, but in those hours after his passing the nurses and carers were equally affected too, and as the undertakers took dad’s body to the chapel of rest, the staff cried with us. Whatever training manuals say about not getting emotionally involved, I can honestly say that it is the emotional involvement that brings out the greatest compassion, and I am so very proud that the people caring for dad felt so much for him that they were able to do their jobs in the way that they did, and as a result felt his passing so keenly. It is a true mark of compassionate care, and a fine example that many other people in the care industry could learn from.

When someone has battled dementia for so long, the end of their life may be considered a blessing by many. The end of their pain and suffering is certainly something that the person may long for, but for their loved ones and carers, making those last few days and hours the best they can be is as important as all the care you give in the years before.  Personalisation throughout the whole of someone’s journey with dementia is vital, and however difficult it may become, at the end of that journey the frail person in that bed is still a real person, not a disease. There is no greater responsibility for those loving and caring for someone with dementia than to see that person through to the end of their journey knowing that they had a good life, and an equally good death.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Loving our elders and betters

In the UK we are wonderfully good at valuing children and animals. Yes, there are isolated cases of cruelty and abandonment, but the vast majority show huge compassion towards the young, putting children at the centre of so much in society, and lavish copious amounts of love and dedication towards the animals we invite into our homes and share our lives with.

Which makes it all the more baffling that so many do not extend those same feelings of caring and nurturing towards our older people. It has been said that when an older person dies it is as if a library has burnt down. Yet that library, that unique contribution that the older generation can make to our society, isn’t valued, tapped into or appreciated anywhere near enough while they are alive.

When the library becomes more muddled, the books are put back into places they weren’t previously, or aren’t put back at all, and the knowledge can no longer get out in the way that it used to, the perception is often that the person is worth even less. They are easy to ignore or if we do recognise them they are often treated inappropriately. We do not support their independence enough, we do not encourage them to lead full, active and meaningful lives for as long as possible, we do not consider their feelings enough, we do not do enough to preserve their dignity or show them respect, and ultimately they are considered by many to be just one great big burden that is not wanted.

In our vacuous society that values appearance over pretty much every other quality, children are far prettier than older people; consequently society loves their youthful enthusiasm and naivety. Children can ask the same question ten times and adults accept their inquisitive nature, while older people with their endless stories (often repeated) are an endurance, and their more considered, slower movements remind their younger counterparts of the inevitable passage of time and the conclusion of life.

We do value some older people however. The Queen, for example, is clearly held in very high regard: no one thinks her contribution is any less valid now that she is 86. At the Jubilee Concert it could be argued that the older performers were given more prominence than many of the younger ones, and arguably their contribution had more gravitas, quality and popularity.

My appreciation for my ‘elders and betters’ as my dad would have put it, is partly from my upbringing, partly from my love of learning about days gone by, and partly from having had the most inspiring experiences in my life with people who were around a long time before I was, most notably my dad, even during his dementia. When his library was slowly shutting down, it was the discovery of the odd rare edition tome of knowledge amongst the jumble that made every previously unfathomable plot worthwhile.

Judging a person by their age, in a way that you wouldn’t because of their skin colour or sexuality, means you miss the fundamental joy of life. Those that were here before us had experiences we will never have, learnt things we really need to learn, and made their mark in the world that nothing can erase, including dementia. Their life’s work makes our world what it is, and our cognitive ability can more than make up for any deficiencies they may be experiencing if we treat every day like a walk in their shoes.

No one wants to feel unloved and no longer needed. No one need ever feel like that in a compassionate society that values all of its citizens. Our affection and care for our ‘elders and betters’, those with terminal illnesses, those who need our help and support, kindness and understanding is what puts the Great into Great Britain. Establish that attitude at the centre of dementia friendly communities and we will be getting somewhere.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Decisions, decisions

Moving a loved one into a care home is one of the most difficult, emotional and life-changing things you will ever do. It is even more challenging when the person you are moving into a care home has dementia, and if the advancement of that is what is forcing the move to happen, your loved one will probably be unable to make their own decisions about their care, leaving it to their family to make some very tough choices.

Over the course of my father’s dementia we had to find a new home for him on three separate occasions; initially a residential home with an EMI (Elderly Mentally Infirm) unit, then an EMI nursing home, and finally a home that could meet his end-of-life care needs.

Dad was never able to play any part in these searches, and I remember vividly commencing that first round of visiting homes with huge trepidation. You are conscious of finding somewhere that your loved one will like, and where the care, atmosphere, staffing, facilities, services, opportunities and location match your expectations.

Many people look for somewhere that they can visit easily, but the overwhelming consideration has to be quality of care. Looking back on that first foray into choosing a home, we knew so very little about what exactly we were really looking for, but we settled on a home that, based on dad’s assessment, should have been able to meet his needs.

Just a few short months later, however, and the home said that they could not manage dad’s increasingly challenging behaviour, so it was back to hospital for dad, and for us, back to finding him a home, only this time we had to look at nursing homes.

Cue visits to three homes, one of which we could not wait to get out of (the smell, the couldn’t-care-less attitude of the staff and the whole atmosphere just screamed GET OUT!), and another that, whilst undoubtedly very smart, had ‘Visiting Times’ and ‘Toileting Times’ and clearly wanted to be as inflexible as possible. Moving dad there would have felt like putting him in a prison. So we settled on home number three, not because it was aesthetically beautiful (it wasn’t) or because the rooms were spacious (they weren’t), but because we were so impressed by the staff we met on that visit, and we continued to be impressed by them until the day they sadly left for pastures new.

Ideally that would have remained dad’s home for the rest of his life, it certainly should have done, but after four changes of profit-making ownership and numerous managers, the last instalment proved too horrific for dad to remain there, and so we were back on the care home hunt again. This time, with dad’s specific end-of-life care needs, we had a home we liked turn him down purely because his face didn’t fit. With dad now taking up an acute hospital bed and his birthday fast approaching, I pestered the powers that be until we were offered the chance to look around another home. Run by a not-for-profit organisation, it was a revelation in care homes, and proved to be a wonderful place for dad’s last days.

So, what have we learnt from this experience? If you are looking for a home for the first time you may well feel like a cat caught in headlights. It is pretty overwhelming and the pressure to make the right decision is huge. No home will ever be perfect, but it should always be the best it can be, and give you the reassurance that your loved one will receive the highest quality care, where all their needs are met with dignity and respect, and where you are actively involved in planning every aspect of their care.

Be choosy, ask as many questions as you need to, if possible see at least three homes before you decide, research and see if anyone you know has experience of the home(s), if you get the chance ask other visitors about the home, even residents if they can answer you, revisit at another time, even visit unannounced, trust your gut instinct and analyse staff carefully; if they haven’t got time for you or indeed the residents they are meant to be caring for during your visit, chances are they won’t have time for your relative either. I would also add that you can check the CQC report for every care home online.

Inevitably finding a care home for a loved one can be a very sad process, associated with a lot of negativity. I think much of the stigma around care homes is because they are seen to be places where people die. Indeed, one relative we knew from dad’s first nursing home even called it ‘God’s Waiting Room’. It is true that many people pass away in a care home, including my father, but they can be places of positivity and happiness in life as well.

Over the years we spent many happy hours having meals with dad, listening to music, sitting in the garden and drinking copious cups of tea, proving that the right care home for your loved one can also be a home from home for you too.

Until next time...

Beth x

You can follow me on Twitter: @bethyb1886


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In Federal Budget, No Money For Wall, But Some To Protect MMJ

In Federal Budget, No Money For Wall, But Some To Protect MMJ

There’s no money to build President Trump’s fabled U.S.-Mexico border wall in the new congressional spending bill. And while it does not do much for protecting our borders, the bill is still protecting our buds.

In the $1 trillion agreement which is 1,665 pages long, and which has stopped the federal government’s shutdown, there’s no mention of expanding the border wall, and there’s no money being given to medical marijuana either. What there is is a cap on funding to the Justice Department when it comes to its interference in state-approved medical cannabis programs and industrial hemp operations.

The previously implemented “Rohrabacher-Farr” amendment is continued in the spending bill. That provision “prevents the Justice Department from using funds to hinder the implementation of medical marijuana laws in U.S. states and territories,” as reported by The Cannabist.

In addition, The Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2017 prohibits the DOJ and DEA from using federal funds to police industrial hemp while it’s being processed, sold, or transported.

These inclusions don’t change much for the cannabis industry, but they do keep things status quo, at least until this September, when the fiscal year covered by the spending agreement expires. According to the BBC, Democrats in congress claim they killed 160 “poison pill riders” in the budget (policies which would have cut off funding to stuff they like or provided funding to stuff they don’t like).

The cannabis provisions may be two of those poison pills. In addition to the minor marijuana wins, Democrats kept funding for Planned Parenthood, increased funding for the National Institutes of Health, and secured money to assist Puerto Rico’s Medicaid program and fight opioid addiction.

“Medical marijuana patients and the businesses that support them now have a measure of certainty,” Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Oregon), an MMJ advocate and supporter of Rohrabacher-Farr, said in a statement. “But this annual challenge must end. We need permanent protections for state-legal medical marijuana programs, as well as adult-use.”

Supporters of the cannabis initiative hope that next year’s spending bill might provide more long-term protection for the policies when its proposed this fall, right around the same time President Trump says we’ll finally get money for that wall.

Photo via Flickr user nyuhuhuu

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By John McTernan

Jody McIntyre has accused the police of premeditated violence (Photo: Jane Mingay)

Jody McIntyre has accused the police of premeditated violence (Photo: Jane Mingay)

My esteemed colleague Toby Young makes a brave attempt to stand up for Ben Brown’s interview of Jody McIntyre on BBC News 24. He really needn’t have bothered. The clip speaks for itself. To be honest, Brown looked like a police stooge when he repeated their claim that prior to the clip on YouTube McIntyre was rolling his wheelchair towards them. “Aw, diddums, did the man with with Cerebral Palsy scare you, and you in your riot gear and all” would have been the right response to whichever Metropolitan Police flak had the chutzpah to offer up that nonsense. But when McIntyre responded:

I can’t physically use my wheelchair myself. My brother was pushing me.

it was game, set and match to him. But the whole government should have shivered when McIntyre asked Brown:

Do you seriously think a person with Cerebral Palsy in a wheelchair can pose a threat to a police officer?

For this is the next wave of protest they face. There are high profile benefit cuts coming for people with disabilities – billions of pounds of cuts to Disability Living Allowance to start with. And, as I always remind Coalition ministers and their advisers, a billion pounds from welfare is £1,000 a year from a million people. But a particularly nasty one was sneaked out yesterday. The Independent Living Fund will be abolishedfrom 2015. This fund of nearly £300m a year pays an average of £300 a week to people to support them staying independently in their own homes. If it didn’t exist, it would be exactly the kind of thing that would be branded as a Big Society welfare reform – it helps individuals, and it saves the state millions since the alternative is expensive residential care. Instead, it’s being cut.

What I don’t think the Government – or the mainstream media – were aware of until Jody McIntyre’s interview is quite how articulate and media-savvy modern disability campaigners are. As the waves of cuts – to benefits, to the ILF, to social care provided by councils – impact on people we are going to see the Coalition with their immovable case that there must be cuts come face to face with people with disabilities and their irresistible case that the most vulnerable should not pay the price for a bankers’ crisis.

While Frank Field was asked to “think the unthinkable”, today Iain Duncan Smith is going one better – he is “doing the unthinkable”. I look forward to many more blogs from Toby Young explaining precisely why the protesting public have got the wrong end of the stick about a change to the system which is really in their own best interests.


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Monday, November 28, 2011

Tea Party: Vote Newt! He's everything you want in a candidate!

What a charmer!

It looks like the Tea Party , in their frantic quest to find somebody --anybody --to carry their flag instead of Mitt Romney, may have finally settled.

New Hampshire's influential Union Leader newspaper on Sunday endorsed Newt Gingrich, for President of the United States.  Newt Gingrich!  Can you believe it?

Frankly, I like the Union Leader's pick.  When it comes to representing Tea Party values, there really is no more apt candidate than Newt Gingrich.  Consider:
  • He's (pseudo-)smart!  As one Tea Party enthusiast  recently informed me:  Newt Gingrich is the most intelligent candidate to run for president in the last 20 years.  Gingrich is an ace at speaking in those condescending tones that make Tea Party people swoon.  Or, as Paul Krugman put it:  "...[Newt Gingrich] is a stupid man's idea of what a smart person sounds like."
  • He will fight for his beliefs!  If there is one thing that Newt Gingrich has proven over his long, storied (and I do mean storied) career, it is that he will fight to the bitter end for what he believes in.  And what he believes in is Newt Gingrich.  That $1.5 million he made lobbying for --er, excuse me --serving as an historian for Freddie Mac from 1999 through 2007 was a tidy sum, but still not enough, apparently, for him to close out his account at Tiffany's where he recently maintained a balance of some $500,000.  His transparent self-interest is refreshing for Tea Party people.  It validates their own stingy attitudes.

  • He is constant as the Northern Star.  Constant, at least, in his inconsistency.  Like so many Tea Party folks, Gingrich can say something one day, and contradict himself the next, nor even bat an eyelash when the contradiction is pointed out to him.  My favorite of his bald-faced absurdities is this remark, which he made when he was trying to extract himself from the mess he got into when he called the Paul Ryan budget "right-wing social engineering."  And I quote:  "Any ad that quotes what I said Sunday is a falsehood."

  • He's a Washington outsider!  Even though he "served" as Speaker of the House from 1995 to 1999, he isn't part of the Washington establishment.  After all, his own Republican party forced him to step down in the wake of an ethics scandal that cost him $300,000 in sanctions.  (That pesky Ethics Committee found him guilty of lying to Congress and of violating tax laws.)  Tea Party people respect politicians who treat the Federal government with contempt
In short, Newt Gingrich is the manifestation of Tea Party values:  condescension, cruelty, ignorance, and hypocrisy.

For those of us disinclined to vote for Newt Gingrich (or, for that matter, for any Republican) this is good news.  Newt may not win the Republican nomination, but man oh man, will he make the primaries ugly.

We're just weeks away from the Iowa caucuses, progressives.  Sit back and enjoy.

Run, Newt!  Run!

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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Try draggin' her away.

So, last Saturday we took Mac to the nostalgia drags at Eagle Field. What a great event! Eagle Field is a WWII Air Corps training base in Dos Palos, Ca. For last Saturday they turned the old runway into a heads up drag strip, good times. Here are a couple of shots of Mac enjoying the event.

Friday, May 21, 2010

All is Clear on Mackenzies Front

So after a long week of, screaming, baby Mac is back to normal. I ended up taking the week off to help. I don't know how much help I was but, I tried. On Wednesday we went back to Stanford for the post op check. Doc says everything looks good and we agree. The glue is starting to wear off so we are getting a better idea as to what her scar will look like. Her lip is red and she will have her snot rocket launchers (stints) for another three to four weeks. The best part is her smile, we were worried that her smile wouldn't be as great but it is. I know your thinking but her lip was a mess how could we miss that? Well, when your kid finger paints on the wall with poo a small part of you is proud that they drew a recognizable picture, in other words, everything about our kid is great even some of the bad stuff. To the pictures. By the way she looks like a Hoo from Whoville, it's awesome.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Before and After

Four days after surgery and Mac is doing well. She has had some pain but not too bad. The biggest down side is she has reverted to infancy, she wants to be held constantly. I have nothing witty to input here, we are all tired and ready to get back to our routine. Here are some pics.

The after pic you can see she has stints in her nose to help shape it during healing. Also, you can see the glue they used to hold everything together. This is slowly dissolving away.

Mackenzie 052

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Cloudy sky but the sun is shining.

We walked into the nicu this morning to a smiling face. Mac is getting back to normal already. The nurses have enjoyed having her here. They said she has been smiling and cooing all morning. So far we are on track for a 11am discharge. When we get home I'll take pics with the camera (somebody brought it with dead batteries) and post them up.

Friday, May 14, 2010

The drunk monkey

Still sleeping. She looks like a giant compared to the premee's here in the nicu. By the way, Mac is in the nicu because the surgical recovery rooms are full. She doesn't have any complications and we expect to go home in the morning.

Momma and baby...

Doing great!

wow man why is everything in slow motion?

We are here with Mac in the nicu. She is on morphine so feeling no pain. Her surgery went great and she looks great. So far she has already gulped down lots of moms milk. The nurses here are shocked, they aren't used to giant babies and their appetites. Momma is rocking baby right now looking pleased. So I'll shut up and give you what you want , pics.

Pic test

Here is a pic of Mac pre surgery.

we are in stitches

So I missed the month of April. As I write this Mac is in surgery. We decided to have the procedures done at Stanford. We feel much more confident with the team that is working on Mac. Her plastic surgeons name is Dr. Kahn. He definitely gave us a sense of confidence. Another thing about Stanford, they really respect our time. When we have an appointment we se the dr. at the appointed time not two hours late.

Well, I'll post more tonight after everything calls down.

Imagine a pic of mac here. I haven't been able to upload pics from my phone to this site.

She was all goofy smiles and giggles this morning. Way to make us feel like A-holes kid.


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Self-Care Rituals: Conversation with Nichola Weir

I look forward to introducing you to practitioners, therapists, doctors, yogis, healers who inspire and help us connect the body, mind and spirit. This month I asked Nichola Weir, owner of Pacific Touch NYC (an integrative skin therapy practice that specializes in holistic facials) to answer a few questions regarding the skin, rituals and inspiration. I love her joyful, earth-mama goddess energy and healing hands!
(*She is extending a special $25 discount for all first-time clients during November and December 2016. Her website is Follow Pacific Touch NYC on Facebook and Instagram.)

In conversation with Nichola Weir:

JD: What daily rituals help you to stay relaxed and grounded?
NW: A daily ritual that grounds me is my hot water with lemon first thing in the morning to detoxify and alkalize my body. I refrain from checking emails or looking at my phone and stay "unplugged" while I drink my lemon water and use the time instead to think about what I am grateful for. This tweak on a very simple ritual is a total game changer. Starting the day doing something great for my skin and in a state of gratitude sends a very powerful message out to the universe.

JD: As we move into the fall season what can we do to help our skin, which is the largest organ of the body?
NW: Fall is a time that I use to prep my skin for the harsher winter months. I love using enzymes to clear clogged pores from summer and I use nourishing plant based oils to feed and strengthen my skin. I look to nature for enzymes and the most popular are pineapple, papaya and pumpkin. [recipe follows]

JD: You clearly love what you do. Where do you draw your inspiration from?
NW: Undoubtedly my biggest inspiration for what I do comes from the influence of my mother who is a skin therapist in New Zealand. This is not work; it is a calling. I am part Samoan and massage is an integral part of our culture and something we are taught at a very young age. My great grandmother would perform ‘fofo’ (Samoan healing massage) on us regularly as children and the importance of healing touch is engrained into my psyche.

Recipe: Enzymatic Face Mask

Here is a recipe for an enzymatic mask you can make with ingredients in the kitchen:

  • 2 TBL Fresh or canned pumpkin
  • 1 TBL Yogurt
  • 1 tsp Honey (Manuka if you have it)
  • MIX and apply to a clean face lightly massaging in a circular motion with damp fingertips. Leave on for up to 10 minutes.
  • PATCH TEST: Before applying this mask I recommend doing a patch test for sensitivity (even if ingredients are natural you can still experience a reaction).
  • INSIDER TIP:  Do this treatment at night because it is active and you may experience tingling and pinking up of the skin, and before your shower for easier removal (if tingling feels too intense remove immediately with cool water).
  • AFTER mask removal, apply a hydrating mist if you have one (eg. Rose hydrosol) and a nice moisturizing cream or face oil.

We Were Made For These Times

I came across this piece from one of my favorite authors, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, and wanted to share with you. Each gesture of loving kindness and compassion towards another soul helps contribute to all of mankind. You are love, you are seen and you are heard. —Janet

We Were Made For These Times, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

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Beat Flu & Cold Season with These Natural Remedies

BY Vincent M. Pedre III, MD: With cold and flu season rapidly approaching, I am often asked how I am able to
ward off so many colds throughout the season. After all, I am seeing sick patients almost
on a daily basis during winter season. You would think that I get sick more often, but I
only get one or two brief colds during the entire winter. I have even managed to get
over the flu within 24-48 hours using a supplement trick I learned during my
extensive research, looking for natural remedies to treat the swine flu epidemic.

Read More


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Saturday, September 06, 2008

Sine qua non

'Garden of Eden' grabs World Heritage attention after its post-Hussein revival.
Wildlife-rich wetlands that covered 9,000 square km (3,475 square miles) in the early 1970s had dwindled to just 760 square km (293 square miles) by 2002. Experts said the marshes might be lost completely within five years unless urgent action was taken.
And the urgent action taken was:
After Saddam's downfall locals wrecked many of the dams to let the water rush back in and a $14 million UNEP restoration project prompted the return of thousands of birds and fish.

That included providing safe drinking water to residents, planting reeds to filter pollution and sewage, and the introduction of renewable energy schemes like solar power.

The Iraqi government says more than half the original wetlands have now been restored ...
I'm sorry -- I didn't quite make the out. The urgent action that was taken was?
... Saddam's downfall ...
Nope, sorry. Still didn't quite make that out.

What you really meant to say, al Reuters, is that the urgent action taken was the US invasion, without which Saddam would not have downfallen. That is what you meant, right? After all, it would only add to the MSM's offal reputation to leave that point completely unmentioned. We wouldn't want that, would we?

It is worth mentioning that UN press releases here and here are also conspicuously silent on the whole cause - effect thing

Must have been magic.

Blogger Harry Eagar said...

Good for the birds and the snails, but see my review of Rory Stewart's 'Prince of the Marshes' for a jaundiced view of the people.

It's at both Amazon and Restating the Obvious.

September 07, 2008 10:34 AM
Blogger Hey Skipper said...

Whether the marsh Arabs are princes or posers is beside the point -- what I found completely astonishing is that all reporting on the subject treated the Hussein's fall as an un-caused effect.

I should not be amazed, but I am.

September 07, 2008 5:46 PM

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The Pebble Meditation Technique

By on March 30, 2015

The Pebble Meditation Technique

Ever held a pebble in your hand?

I bet you have, at least as a child. A child examines everything it comes across. Feel, taste, touch, play!

So with that in mind, what better way to introduce children (and everyone else) to meditation than with the help of a pebble..

..or 4 pebbles!

That is exactly what Thich Nhat Hanh (a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist) decided. And he even wrote a book about it:

The pebble meditation is a simple meditation technique consisting of you, and 4 pebbles.

You go out into nature (or to a shop if you don’t live close enough to nature), and collect 4 pebbles.

You then sit down comfortably (feel free to sit on a chair, with your back straight), and place the pebbles on your side.

Pick up one pebble at the time, and let the pebble represent a specific thing and quality.

Listed below are those 4 things and qualities. So each pebble represents either a flower, a mountain, water or space – and has a specific quality.

  1. Flower, fresh. Breathing in, I am a flower. Breathing out, I feel fresh.
  2. Mountain, solid. Breathing in, I am a mountain. Breathing out, I feel solid.
  3. Water, reflecting. Breathing in, I am water. Breathing out, I am a calm mind, reflecting things as they are.
  4. Space, free. Breathing in, I am space. Breathing out, I feel freedom.

A bit confusing? Have a look at these videos, and see the pebble meditation demonstrated.

Please enjoy, and remember to comment and share!

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Zazn Meditation App

By on February 20, 2015

Does your meditation timer have guided meditations, adjustable settings and numerous sound effects?

I used to simply use the alarm on my smartphone as a meditation timer.

It works ok, but the alarm can be a bit startling, and does not have anything extra. Just the alarm sound going off at the set time.

It wasn’t until I was fortunate enough to be allowed to beta test an app called Zazn, that I knew what I was missing out on.

It has all these features:

  • Custom meditation timer, where you can set preparation time, set the sound to go off several times, background sound option, and 7 different sounds to choose from
  • Guided meditations, 13 in total as of this writing. Range from short body scan to breathing exercises and mindfulness meditations
  • Custom reminders to remember to meditate at a certain time at a certain day, or every day
  • Still works/plays if you switch to other app, or smartphone goes black

And it also has a simple and “zen-like” look, and is very intuitive to use.

Here is a picture of the settings involved to set a custom timer:

The most feature-rich meditation timer app I have used, without compromising on usability and style.

If you would like a unique all-in-one meditation timer, I highly recommend Zazn.

What do you think?

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Join our community, receive our newsletter, and learn how to improve your life with meditation.
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Robert Axelsen is the former editor and founder of He loves meditation, quotes, and how internet empowers people to do BIG things. Connect with Robert at

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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Intruder Alert!

There's a MAN in my house. A strange man, running about, doing things*. I don't like it. I hid, then I howled, so Mum let me out. I've been in the garden ever since. It's cold. I think it's alright to go back in now, cos Mum keeps trying to get me in, but every time she does it I ask for Iams instead and I get some, so why should I risk it?

* He was a plumber.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Tips on Playing and Sleeping

Those of you who were paying attention last time will remember I told you about the importance of improvising play indoors, especially during the winter months. Well, here is the throw I told you about, and here, too, is my favourite toy, The Fringe. If you haven't got one, send your human out to buy you a yard of it immediately. It's a versatile toy which can be fwipped around the room by your human, allowing you to hunt, jump, chase, etc, etc: with a Fringe, the world is your oyster.

I used to star in a few videos on YouTube, as 'cat in a frenzy' when The Fringe was combined with My Throw. I may reappear there; I shall keep you apprised of the situation.

This picture also illustrates another of my qualities: possessiveness. The Fringe is MINE. And this leads on to...

... the story of My New Throw, My New Bed and My New Sofa. All I did was decide I didn't want that sofa any more, I wanted this one, and then walk on the throw with muddy feet, and hey presto! After a bit of argy-bargy with my humans, not only was the throw changed but this fantastic bed appeared. Now, there've been beds like it from time to time, only they come and go and they have sleeves attached and when I snuggle down for a good snooze, then instead of admiring me, Mum picks me off them, which is most annoying. She's finally got me one without sleeves, and it seems to be all mine. I like it very much. So much that I let her take some pictures of me with a real camera. Give and take, kittens, give and take. Just make sure you've got what you want first.

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What’s Noka Worth? (Part 5)

 Special Topics  Comments Off on What’s Noka Worth? (Part 5)
Dec 142006

In Noka Part 4, we discussed the limited skill and technique involved in Noka’s work as a chocolatier. But, in fairness, Noka’s founders rarely make claims about their skill in working with chocolate. No, their greatest boasts are of the chocolate itself. And to that we must now turn our attention. Onward…

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miércoles, 15 de diciembre de 2010

McCormick and Kuleto's fresh seafood

McCormick and Kuleto's fresh seafood
900 north point st, San Francisco

This is a nice restaurant in San Francisco whose speciality is seafood. Specially crab and oysters. Nice restaurant in a peaceful atmosphere. I am really surprised with the selection of oysters. My favourite ones were "Hama hama" (you can see a couple of them on the most left and right parts of the photo). They are even better than the french ones, and the price is reasonable. the crab was also very fresh, altough quite expensive: we pay 63 USD + VAT + service for a couple of crabs. They have several restaurant all around USA.

1 crab + 3 oysters + 1 glass of wine = 70 USD per person

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A Man’s Visual Instinct…?

Whether we are at work, on Oxford Street doing some much needed shopping with the girls, heading to Old Street for early evening drinks or Sunday lunching with family and friends, no matter where our presence may be, our appearance shall always be judged. Where does the fashion sensitive woman’s standards and visual instincts, that she uses to judge herself and other women, really come from? Ayesha Charles Reports.
Jennifer Lopez Versace Grammy Dress

Basic humaninstincts has us judge what is before us with our senses, those of us lucky enough to have all five senses seem to be led instinctively by what appears. What we wear can blur the lines of class, status, wealth, politics and taste, giving us the all the ability to materialise as who we want to be or who we wish to be perceived as. Fortunately or not, depending on your stance, what we wear and our general external appearance plays an immensely significant role in how we are treated in society. Traditionally, as women in the western world we have a far more intense relationship with our external bodies and appearance, this is very much reflected in women’s fashion and it’s enormity and variety in comparison to men’s fashion. We have an insurmountable choice when it comes to ornamenting our exterior. Before we even begin to consider colour, fabric, length or cut, we deliberate over dresses or skirts, trousers or leggings, costume jewellery or precious stones, practicality or glamour. Of the eighty two Oscar ceremonies we have only just had our first woman win Best Director, we are still struggling to diminish the twenty percent extra that men earn over women and the ratio of female to male designers is twenty five percent to seventy five, yet we have a world of fashion and beauty products available to us in abundance, how come?

According to Mr Sigmund Freud, ‘Most normal people desire to look at and derive pleasure from looking at things they find sexually attractive.’ Many theorists would have it that women inherently are to be looked at, to be pleasing to the eye and give the onlooker pleasure in looking. John Berger, art critic, author, painter and novelist made an eminent declaration, stating that, ‘Men act and women appear – If men decide how to behave towards a woman on the basis of her appearance, a woman has to survey everything she is and everything she does, because how she appears to others and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life.’ This statement no doubt applies a great deal of pressure to women, our appearance is judged doubly by society; firstly as women, the alternative sex, secondly, as objects of the male desire – but by no means does this make us victims. On paper, Berger’s theory reads far worse than it is in actual fact. The truth is, as women we battle with our desirability everyday – playing it up and toning it down in order to get what we want and to keep away what we don’t. It all sounds so femme fatale, Catherine Tremmel like, but really it’s just another intrinsic skill added to the woman’s list of survival tactics.

In the Black and Blue, a bar tucked away inside Borough Market, a group of us were meeting for after work drinks to celebrate a twenty sixth birthday. Cassandra Jones, a Diary Secretary for the department of health arrives in an oatmeal micro mini skirt, with a long sleeved black t-shirt, black tights and ballet pumps, very tastefully put together. However, the length or lack thereof, of her skirt stirred up some conversation; incredulously, we asked her if she had worn that skirt at work, ‘Yes,’ she said, almost defensively, ‘If I had long legs or was wearing heels it would be a problem, but I’m short – it’s ok.’ In society we discredit a woman for using her femininity or attractiveness as a tool to get ahead, but in this case we know Cassandra, she’s an intelligent woman who is far too feminist to ever endorse such behaviour. Yet instantly and instinctively she validated herself for wearing a mini skirt in the work place and we, as women and her friends instinctively judged her for it. Could these instincts be the lingering remains of the cave man mentality residing in us?
In the power dressing eighties it would have been considered the norm to be irked by a woman dressed in a mini skirt in the work place, regardless of whether she was doing it for personal advancement or sheer self expression, it was completely unheard of. Emma Soames, British editor of Saga magazine says, ‘Thirty years ago we were happy to be accepted professionally – we regarded it perfectly ok to dress mannishly to beat our way to the boardroom…we subconsciously accepted that we were operating in an utterly male world and playing by their rules.’ Even though Emma wasn’t playing up her desirability, with her career in mind she had to pay attention to the fact that she was an object of desire, of distraction, of the alternative sex and tone down her ‘otherness’, which ultimately equivocates dressing for the man’s approval.
I asked a number of women whose approval they seek when they get dressed on a daily basis; the answers were split fifty-fifty between dressing for themselves and for the approval of other fashion conscious women – of course, none claimed to dress for the man’s approval. Gemma Ellen, a twenty six year old prison officer spends ninety percent of her time dressed in a uniform she detests, ‘It’s manly, it doesn’t give me any shape and funnily enough it makes me feel naked,’ she says, ‘I relish the opportunity to get dressed up, put some heels on and feel like a woman.’ Gemma Ellen is lucky enough to have a bra size that could permit her to be a Glamour model, what she fills her bra with is all hers, however, unlike such models she never wears low cut tops or anything that accentuates this part of her body, ‘I don’t want that kind of attention.’ Although this is completely comprehendible and we know the exact kind of attention Gemma Ellen is referring to, it’s still almost contradictory; she hates her uniform because it stifles her femininity, yet when she has the opportunity to dress as she chooses, she plays down an inherently female asset, (An asset that woman all over the world are paying thousands of pounds to enhance in order to feel more feminine and possibly more attractive to the opposite sex) because she doesn’t want the – male attention?
Selina Sydonnie, a twenty five year old ex model, turned English and Drama student has too claimed that she dresses for herself and possibly the women in her life, ‘Men haven’t got a clue,’ she says. Once upon a time she was a Nike, Gap jeans and quirky t-shirt wearer, dressed appropriately for hanging out at her actor, boyfriend’s Caterham mansion. Now, she is a social butterfly and today she wears a black bandeau skirt, with a tunic top, Hogan pumps and an Yves Saint Laurent Downtown bag. ‘Well, I’m a single woman now, I want to get dressed up. I enjoy it. I would never dare to leave my house without eyeliner – even if I’m just going to Sainsbury’s.’ It is to be noted that Selina split up with her boyfriend of ten years, nine months ago and is now actively enjoying playing the field.
If one of the intrinsic roles of the woman is her to-be-looked-at-ness then the women I have encountered are not only enjoying, but fulfilling this prescribed area of their femininity. Of course the codes of good taste and modesty would have it that we keep our exhibitionistic elements to a minimum and dress accordingly.
It’s considered cheap and vulgar to dress too far left of the modesty mark – it resonates sex worker, who emphasise their sexual desirability for capital gains and trade solely on their objectivity to men. On the other end of the scale are women who rebel against their objectivity and their femininity,denying any adornment that plays up their sexuality as women. Fashion sensitive women seem to frown upon anything overtly sexual and contrived and anything that lacks femininity and attention – surprisingly enough, so do men.
It could be considered that dressing for the male approval is so deeply rooted in western society we are now none the wiser we even do it, or we are so accepting of our desirability and objectivity that we just get on with it, using it or not when we feel it to be appropriate. But it would appear that the women I encountered still judge themselves and other women by the very own standards they are confined to, using the man’s process to decide what’s attractive and appropriate. Kate Millet says that, ‘The woman’s image is fashioned by men,’ they may cringe at the thought of dressing for a man’s approval, but ultimately, if women are judging other women on their employability, their performance in the work place, their attractiveness, their ability to get a husband, their femininity and their sexuality, all by how they adorn their external bodies and the woman’s image was indeed tailored by and for men, then dressing for the approval of their friends and dressing for the approval of themselves is no different than dressing for a man’s approval.
‘Maybe I have contradicted myself, and maybe I do dress for a man’s approval,’ Selina Sydonnie admits, ‘but I’m not a try hard and I don’t dress provocatively – at least not when it isn’t suitable. I just love getting dressed up.’


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Transpara Mobile Dashboard

by Michael Saucier, CXO/President, TransparaFriday, July 24, 2009

Transpara’s Visual KPI presents operating information from multiple data sources to users in context and on-demand, enabling timely, informed decision making from any location. Designed for mobile handsets, Visual KPI supports any modern web browser – including 300+ mobile devices (Windows Mobile, Blackberry, iPhone and Palm Pre, etc.) – and easily scales to the desktop and larger form factors (flat panels, etc.)

The mobile dashboard shown below provides plant operations and management with a drill-down view of manufacturing and performance-related data.  Since subject matter experts and decision makers are rarely at their desks, having immediate access to real-time metrics increases the value and effectiveness of existing data by allowing users to solve problems “on the go.”  Scorecards, Trends and KPI Maps are generated on demand, putting the latest data at users’ fingertips for decision making in the moment.

Click on image for full size version

Visual KPI’s interactive graphics provide immediate insight into enterprise operational performance. The role-based dashboards allow decision makers to see the context of business and plant performance and immediately answer questions as they arise to determine whether they are heading toward or away from trouble.

Visual KPI pulls real-time operating information (not planning data) from multiple internal sources – databases, line of business applications, data historians, Excel spreadsheets and even external data from the web – and populates user-defined KPIs and scorecards on the fly. Because Visual KPI focuses on front-end visualization rather than back-end data processing, Visual KPI is flexible and agile, complementing all existing data/BI projects.

About Transpara

Founded in 2005, and led by a seasoned team of manufacturing and utility executives, Transpara is committed to helping organizations make better decisions…faster. By leveraging existing technology investments and enterprise mobility initiatives, Transpara customers now have a solution for turning the massive amounts of data generated from disparate sources into meaningful, actionable information.

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New IBM Software Uses Sensor Data to Trigger Automated Business Processes

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

IBM is introducing software that extracts actionable business information from the millions of interconnected sensors that link items in the physical world.

Using WebSphere Sensor Events, massive volumes of sensor data can be gathered and analyzed to provide clients with the business visibility needed to quickly respond to changing market conditions. The software is one of many IBM technologies bringing a new level of intelligence to the way in which people, businesses, organizations, governments, and systems interact.

Sensors are part of our everyday lives. They are used in objects such as lights that dim and brighten depending on the level of darkness and in thermometers, which react to changes in temperature. Today, many kinds of sensors are in use to monitor and manage water flow rates, highway traffic, seismic activity, air quality, the flow of energy across power grids, and much more. In particular, the use of Radio Frequency Identification sensors is growing for the purpose of item tracking and authentication. By 2010, approximately 6 billion of these tags will be in circulation.

Article sourced from www.ebizq.net, click here to read full story.

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Ebi Ebi
There are three artists with the name Ebi. 1. Ebrahim Hamedi (Persian: ابراهیم حامدی) (born June 19, 1949 - Tehran, Iran) better known by his stage name Ebi, is a famous Persian singer. Being one of the most popular and enduring singers of Iran, he's usually noted for his unique voice and is considered by many to be the best Iranian Pop singer. Having started his career over 30 years ago, he is a well established star with fans all over the world.

Read more about Ebi on Last.fm.
Minu paarilised

Kasutajad kellele meeldib "Ebi"


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Monday, 24 March 2014

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Quick Draw 1

A story that I started sketching out a while back, looking for a very simple, quick style - recently revisited as part of my ongoing thinking about how to get stuff done in time (of which the 24-hour comic is an extreme form)

Monday, 10 March 2014

November in the North

I did this a few years ago (still hand-lettered...), as an exercise in repetition. The motif of the staircase accounts for 50% of all the panels, but the way the reader feels about the image ought to change as the strip progresses, if I've done my job right.

I never got round to colouring the final panel. Given that it's about the shakiness of the narrator's memories slipping away, I've decided to leave it like that.

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Monday, 3 March 2014

Messing with the basic "one page wonder" format, by telling two distinct life stories over two pages, but intertwining them. Mercalli & Richter independently came up with scales for measuring earthquake intensity. Richter's is the better known in common parlance, and more objective, but both have since been superseded.

The strip was originally commissioned for a disaster relief fundraiser anthology, although I don't think it ever got released...


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BBC Flash Mob

Client: BBC Radio 4

Director: David Lumsden

Producer: Matt Brown

Camera ops: Krish Shrikumar, Steve Cook, Grant McPhee, Luke Saddler, Robert MacDonald

This Piece was a promo for a 'Soap box' Flash mob that was performed on the Royal mile during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, we shot this on the same day as a 30 minute programme for the BBC red button content which aired that month.


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Your #1 Guide to Real Estate!

1205 N Black Cat Rd., Kuna ID 83634

Beautiful home on acreage! This 6 BR home has so many options! Bonus room, huge playroom & storage room. Master suite w/coffered ceiling, W/I closet, soaker tub & separate shower walks out to balcony w/gorgeous mountain views. Family room closes off for privacy. Stained cement floors. Covered patio. Fenced playground. Custom-built for daycare. Horses OK. Additional 2067 s.f. manufactured house on foundation on property. Plus 60'x30' quonset & shop! Land can be split/developed. No CC&Rs! No HOAs!

Showings: (801) 891-4734
MLS#: 98646321
Year Built: 2008
On Market:  213 days
Home Type: Single Family - Two Story
School District:  Kuna School District
Ele. School:  Kuna
Mid. School:  Kuna
High School:  Kuna
Financial Information
Price Change: 08/16/2017 Price changed from: $649900 to $639900
Price Change: 03/24/2017 Price changed from: $659000 to $649900
Current Price: $639,900
$ per Sqft:$153
Prop. Tax:$3,284
Additional Features
Finished SqFt: 4,173
Master Dims: 16x12
Master Level: Upper
Bathrooms: 4
Kitchen Dims: 14x10
Kitchen: Breakfast Bar, Dishwasher, Disposal, Double Oven, Microwave, Oven/Range Freestanding, Pantry, Refrigerator, Granite/Tile Counters
Family Dims: 16x15
Lot Size:4.90 Acres
Construction: Stucco, Hardi Type Siding
Lot Type: Abandoned Septic, Fenced Fully, Garden Space, Horses, Irrigation Available, R.V. Parking, View, Storage Shed, Public Road, Private Road, Chickens, Shop with Electricity
Irrigation: Auto, Partial, Irrigation
Roofing: Composition Shingle
Heating: Electric, Forced Air,
Cooling: Central Air
Sewer: Septic
Water: Individual Well
Directions: S Meridian Rd / W Kuna Rd / N Black Cat
Real Estate Videos
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NOTE: The payment above should be used as an estimate only.  It does not include property insurance.

To see the home located at 1205 N Black Cat Rd., Kuna ID 83634 or any other home on this website please call (801) 891-4734

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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

2 months

Are you kidding me? Nearly 60 days without a post oh Im slacking hard. Ok lets catch up hmmmmm Ive been working on the track alot. Too much actually. LOL. What ya gonna do though if you want a good track you have to do insane amounts of work so I shall work toward the end result. Its looking like 55% good right now LOL Been racing little opens on Tuesday and Friday nights with the crew at the track and they have been fun. But fuck I get sooooo exhausted and breathing is like ridiculously difficult so I regret them at the same time but they too much fun to not do it. Been doing good at work too, picking up more responsibility now just come through with that pay raise again LOL. The envyblk is riding well, my nephew Benny is back in action after his wrist issue so happy to have him back means the training sessions will get back on track... Flat pedal event on October 9th with the salt crew boys will be fun. crazy I have so much going on and too lazy to try and type it all out lol. be good to each other people!


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Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Sneak Peek

Officially I’m a Guest Designer for Our Daily Bread designs on Sept. 1st!! Excited? You bet! They’re a favorite of mine as you know! I’ve received my images for this release…so you’re getting an early peek!

Be sure to check in here Sept. 3rd, and the OBDD Blog because we have a fun challenge and give-away for you.

I’ve seen some samples that the girls have been doing…WoW! You’re gonna love them!

Enjoy your weekend and as always…thanks for stopping!

Betty Wright said...

Dawn, love the sneak peak captures, girl!!! I added you to my ODBD team. I guess since it is announced it is okay to do that a little early. Looking forward to working with you.

Joanne (jojot) said...

Well, congrats, my there is a match made in heaven....truly.....I KNOW you will rock this DT

- dlm. said...

Dawn - Thanks for sharing your sneak peaks. I am looking forward to seeing what you create for Our Daily Bread.

Darlene (SCS:akronstamperdpk) said...

FANTASTIC ... congratulations!!! Can't wait to see your ODBD creations ... you are perfect for this team!!


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DLC for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt will be free on PC

The-Witcher-3-Wild-Hunt_E3-screenshot (14)In what shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying attention, CD Projekt head Marcin Iwinski, in a interview with Rock, Paper, Shotgun, has confirmed that the studio is planning to stick with their usual pro consumer strategy.

“A lot of people on forums are saying, ‘No, but you guys are anti-DRM,’” … “And we really are anti-DRM. But at the same time, there are people who’ll be fine with [Xbox One’s online-heavy DRM]. They’ll buy the console and just want to play. Why should we not give them this option?”

“That’s our approach, but at the same time, we don’t know what the final policies are. Things might be changing. There’s a lot of heat right now. From our perspective, we’ll always choose the most gamer-friendly solution. And on the platform where we have control – which is PC – we’ll release on GOG day one and DRM-free.”

On whether the same would be true for consoles, Iwinski said:

“It’s too early to talk specifics, but definitely all the DLCs and updates will be free,” he said. “Of course, we’ll see what the platform holders will allow – what we can do for free [on next-gen consoles]. I mean, there are different business models on consoles. From our standpoint, we’ll definitely do everything we can to deliver the same experience across all platforms.”


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Thursday, October 13, 2005

Harry sleeps on a cot in the kitchen. "Sleep" is a rather optimistic word for what Harry does most days, but as long as he's quiet, I'm okay with it. Other children his age don't nap at all - Darcy sits reading as I type - but Harry's parents believe he needs a nap, so I do my best! Today, though, I heard more than the usual amount of rustling around through the doorway to my right, but instead of calling out a warning, I grabbed the camera and snuck in there. Think maybe he heard me coming?

Anonymous Sharkey said...

Which kid sleeps in the cage in the background? :)

10/13/2005 04:18:00 PM
Blogger Mary P. said...

LOL... officially, Sparky the guinea pig!

10/13/2005 05:31:00 PM
Blogger Haley said...

bwa haha. You mean he didn't fool you?

10/14/2005 01:13:00 AM
Blogger Anon said...

At least you couldn't see him, his face was hidden :-o

10/14/2005 04:47:00 AM
Blogger Mary P. said...

Haley: bwah haha. I think it was the train track winding around his sleeping cot that gave him away...

Si: That's right. If I can't see her, then she can't see me! You've encountered this before, have you, oh father of four?

10/14/2005 02:02:00 PM

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

on intersections and blemishes

I’ve reached one of those points in life where everything you are living and breathing seems so beautiful and new, and everything you have left behind you seems so tragically detached from the person you are now. You walk toward better days with your head facing backwards trying to recapture all that has been. You take two steps forward but you always seem to be looking three steps behind you.

It seems I am sitting at this intersection in my life where all the different roads I have been down and all the different lives I have led have to come together somehow; they have to find a way to comfortably coexist in my history while somehow letting me move forward. There are some people who believe that when you turn your life around in a positive direction that you are supposed to somehow ignore all those raw and dirty places you have been; you have to whitewash them from your mind or they will sneak back in and destroy you. But I wrestle with that because I know that those mistakes and those blemishes help make me who I am; that those lessons I have taken with me have made me both stronger and wiser. I admit they were not all the brightest decisions and that I was designed for greater things… but I think it is foolish to think that those days in their entirety were useless or wasted.

Yes, they were convoluted and my heart oftentimes felt twisted; like a rag being rung out to dry. Yes, there was devastation and sleepless nights; brokenness and drama, but there was also beauty and love, passion and depth. There were conversations by candlelight and peace in the quiet moments. And as wrong as they were at times, I don’t want to forget.

Lately I have been struggling to reconcile these different pieces of me; to somehow figure out how they got there and what purpose they serve; to sort through the desires of my heart and why they exist and how I can cultivate all of them to make me a more beautiful and well-rounded person. But it’s rough, sometimes.

I have so much in my future, Lord willing, with a new job starting and getting ready to move in with two amazing girls. I have so much to reach for and to be excited about, and I am. But I don’t want to be a person that thinks it is essential to forget where you have been to fully be where you are.

God, help me wrap up all the pieces of my heart to be more present in the moment; to let go gracefully instead of clinging to a past I can’t change. Help me to appreciate the fallen times and the broken moments.

I just want to live deep and full.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

on the joy of baby brothers

There are few things as beautiful, hilarious and fun as he is.

I give you my baby brother... :) He is a little over 4 months now.


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Saturday, January 11, 2014

Favorite podcasts

I decided last year to stop pirating audiobooks, so I started listening to free podcasts. I've been through several that I thought were good, then started to be annoying. Here are some that I've stuck with and I'll tell you why.

Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Foods fame along with someone who works in his office. I went back to listen from the beginning and have enjoyed every one. There's a lot of behind-the-food scenes stuff, and other, normal stuff. I love AZ in all forms.

This is a newish one with Alton Brown just being Alton Brown. He talks recipes, fashion, food and other things with guests or on his own. Not every episode is a winner, but they are usually very listenable.

Garden Brew is 2 guys talking about brewing beer and having their garden, both of which I like. Interesting, but not for everyone.

Chris Hardwick was a 90s host and has been doing this podcast with 2 friends for several years. There are about 430 episodes. Most of them are interviews with entertainers, some more famous than others. There are some really good ones in there.
This is all about organic living. There are 3 hosts and guests around a topic. Some are better than others, but it's not from around here. This one and The Food Craftsman (who didn't have a logo) are from or focus on the San Francisco Bay area, which seems to be a mecca of all things great food.

I really have no idea why I listen to this one. I think it's entertainment, but it's really random. Frustrated actors dishing on lots and lots of stuff. Funny and entertaining, but again, not for everyone.

That's what's on my running list.
Do you have any that you love?

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Career Action BUSN-310

Course Code BUSN-310
Course Name Career Action
Category Accounting
Description Career Action will give you the know-how you need to maximize your job search strategy, and perform well during relevant job interviews and networking meetings in relation to your individual career goals.

Highly interactive, the course will see you partaking in hands-on activities that will result in the necessary skills required to effectively participate in the recruitment and selection process. As such, you will learn how to select relevant job postings utilizing keywords by accessing a variety of relevant job search engines and/or job boards. You will also gain insight into understanding the steps by which Canadian employers recruit and select staff.

A real-world component to Career Action will involve a variety of mock job interviews (such as phone and face-to-face scenarios) that will emphasize the importance of conducting effective industry and/or organizational research, creating a targeted resume utilizing keywords, and enhancing verbal and non-verbal communication skills.

You will leave the course having developed a supporting career portfolio, cover letter, employment references and networking strategies so you may market yourself and network effectively with potential employers, as it relates to your career goals.

Once you complete the course, you will be able to:

•Effectively conduct online keyword searches to obtain employment postings;
•Conduct targeted industry and/or organizational research in preparation for job interviews;
•Create a targeted professional resume as appropriate in obtaining job interviews;
•Participate in job interviews (phone and face-to-face) to demonstrate interviewee suitability for a position and/or company;
•Interpret situational and behavioural (STAR method) interview questions and formulate effective responses that include specific capabilities that the job requires;
•Develop and/or expand a professional network as it relates to specific career goals;
•Prepare appropriate employment references;
•Develop an effective career portfolio.

Contact Telephone 416-289-5207
Contact E-mail
Associated Certificates
Section Cost Semester Start Date End Date Meeting Times Campus
There are no sections for this course at this time.
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M - Monday T - Tuesday W - Wednesday R - Thursday F - Friday S - Saturday U - Sunday
TBA - To Be Announced


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« Kōken | Main | Joza »

Jōza (常座)

Term indicating an area of the stage. Within the three-section, rectangular main stage surrounded by four pillars and divided into three sections and nine subsections, the jōza is the far-left side when facing the stage. The shite often stands here, and it is an important location for both the performance and viewing of Noh. As the performers will often introduce themselves, known as the Nanori, or “name-saying,” and offer explanations of the play from this area, it is also called the nanoriza.

the-noh.com web site

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How to donate to red cross hurricane irma relief
How to donate to Red Cross Hurricane Harvey relief

Feed The 5000 Comes To Washington D.C.

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