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Toast to the London Irish Bs

Toast to the Bs – ‘Bees on Toast’ Bs dinner 9thMay 2014 – last call for Sunbury. The invitation to speak at the diner looked innocent enough at first of course but then all first approaches from the shadowy Bs organisation are unusually cloaked with benign intent, while under that surface dark energies ripple. This latest approach came from Bryan Murphy, asking if I would toast the Bs at the dinner in May.  I sighed inwardly,  rehearsing excuses but knowing in my heart that there was in truth no escape.

I realized that my best course of action would be simply to resign myself to my fate, knowing that resistance would be futile.  As an exercise in damage limitation I asked Kitty Murphy how long he would require me to endure this trial, how long would I have to be facing the derision of the assembled mob.  He was typically evasive on this subject, taking the usual Bs get out that he would need to consult ‘the others.’

Well. we all know that there is no recognizable governance within the Bs, There are only these ‘ others’, picked or more likely imagined to suit the occasion, where the wishes of the individual are crushed in the name of supposed consensus.   He refused to specify the duration so I was left alone to ponder the possible solutions to the question ‘how long is a Bs dinner speech?’

Even in the Zen state gained through watching the semi finals of the Eurovision song contest in George’s old pub while waiting for the ordeal that was the dinner to commence this question defied an answer. As easy to ask the question ‘How long is a Bs anecdote?’ or ‘how long is the career of a B?’ These are the imponderables of the ages.   A Bs speech could not be the aggregation of all of the Bs anecdotes ever told, that would represent infinity.

It might attempt to be a highlights passage, one story from each tour maybe, but the attempt to balance ancient and freshly minted contemporary tales would never be achieved to the satisfaction of both the ancients and the moderns.  The main peril would be in deciding who to mention and who to leave out.  The peril lies in the knowledge that while those mentioned would bask in momentary glow of recognition, those ignored would gain longer lasting satisfaction from parading this slight and the associated mortification over pint after pint to any B who would be prepared to listen.  Which would be everyone as all Bs worth their salt bask in vicarious scandal and personal injury, while feigning to be above such gossip.

The bald truth is that deep down not only did I never want to have to make this speech: deep down I never wanted to become a B.  Back in the early eighties I was happy enough poddling along in the lower reaches of the As enjoying a quiet enough life in Sunbury, having quiet pints in the Hansom Cab with the lads after, until an innocuous invite to join the Bs on a trip to Paris in 1982 resulted in the subsequent wreckage of my life as I knew it. Now I know there are those sat here even now playing for other LIRFC teams who are seduced by the Bs craic and are perhaps thinking of making what looks like the easy and probably reversible transit to the Bs. Be warned from my story –  do not do it!  There is no way back. Your career rugby and otherwise will soon be over.

Stop listening to that wreck of a man on your left whispering sweet stories in your cauliflowered ear of the easy life: playing powder-puff opposition and slipping into long languorous evenings of bonhomous chatter and enlivening song. Nothing could be further from the truth. As I try to hack out this speech I am forced into an awful revisiting of archaic hurts and damage that I thought well buried as I pressed ahead with my new life in foreign lands, trying to rebuild the pieces far far away from Sunbury. I have no recent memory of the Bs since my Bs time largely encompassed the life defining eighties and what memory that remains is blurred by the awful damage inflicted by those endless sessions in brown bars far from home and from sanctuary of any kind.

Most of you here would not recognise the names I would like to mention from those times, decent lads, the unknown soldiers whose sterling deeds are long forgotten; while the  recognizable names I could recite to you would be those of the crusty survivors many of whom are here tonight still running things behind the scenes.  They say that history is written by the victors and this was never more true than in the case of the Bs.

Take the case of that first tour of mine to Paris in 1982. It was not only my first time, it was Bootsies also, both Bs virgins and in awe of what was unfolding before us.  As we found our way from a brown bar in the Place de Vosges to the airport, rumours flew that one of our number had collapsed and died on the travellator, none other than my local landlord from the Hansom Cab.  In the ensuing melee of conjecture and rehearsal of tragedy I retreated for a review of the tour with Bootsie over a beer at the airport.

It was then that he confided in me that he saw the Bs as a way to meet his ambition to become President of LIRFC in thirty years time. It was chilling to witness naked ambition at such close quarters, never mind to see it so fully realized as we now know it to be.  Every step of the way he has been lifted and maneuvered by Gerry the duvet dancer and Murphy himself not to mention Bart. These are dangerous men to know, make no bones about it.

What is frightening for me looking back at my bizarre  existence within this covert cult mascarading as healthy improving sport in the spirit of Thomas Arnold was the ease with which the Bs normalized into the fabric of my life, only by degrees to take it over.  At that time I was a student oif the mysruic William Blake himself a London man – who would surely have joined the Bs had they been formed at the time – who wrote in songs of experience ‘What is the price of experience? Is it bought for song or a dance in the street? No is bought with the price of all that a man hath – his house his wife his children. ‘ And so it felt for me this passage with the Bs with its requirement for complete self-abasement.

It was during one of the endless Bs power struggles in the ealry nineties amid a major blood letting that I managed to escape, where my absence went unnoticed. I forged a new life far far away from Sunbury, left only with an tattered honours tie, a pair of socks and a long bar bill at the Antelope.  As I gradually rebuilt my broken existence I discovered in that far away places and at world cup venues I would accidentlybump into a few fellow Bs exiles. Thereafter we would meet from time to time, thinking of times gone by, recounting some of the horrors that were inflicted upon us, and gaining strength from each other to resist the temptation to relapse back into Bs hell. We resolved to beat this Bs thing one day at a time, vigilant ever in the face of our powerlessness.

We knew from our time in the eighties that the Bs had within itself the seeds of its own destruction – O’Hara – drawing on the work of Chomsky, and supported by selected dirges –  helpfully pointing out to the ever belligerent Newberry  that the Bs suffered from the same internal contradictions as late stage capitalism. All the talk was of the aging population with no new talent coming through; of the likelihood of selling the ground; the impending onset of professionalism – we knew the Bs were even then in a late maturity crisis. And then when news filtered through of the sad death of Des Egan then we knew that that was pretty much that for the Bs.

We relaxed in our various lairs thinking the fatwa was now over; like Rushdie at the same time but with shorter beards, we could come out now knowing the threat had gone – we could even relax in nostalgic glow For twenty two years then my heroic campaign of Bs resistance and withdrawal had paid dividends, I was clean I was safe .. or so I thought …  that is until until one auspicious day at the 2012 Olympics I felt compelled to follow two titanic Czech pole vaulters with endless legs into a pub just outside of the stadium, wishing to know more of their technique and of their national culture.

It was in this unguarded moment that I fell into a deep deep trap for there at the TV screen was none other than the remains of Bootsie, agog at the sight of the innocent Tom Daley wearing only budgie smugglers while throwing himself into the pool.  Despite myself I found myself saying to him ‘I did not know you liked young boys Bootsie!” and in that moment of weakness I had taken my first step back into that toxic culture known as the Bs.  He told me of his inevitable rise to a position of highest power, and invited me to a number of games that were to be played in the West Country, near my exiled hideaway.  Then he explained that not only was the amateur side going strong but the Bs along with it were still in existence. This was the worst news I had heard in many a year.

The Brixham game proved a real delight but a personal dissever as I met you new Bs and realized how seductive the Bs culture remains. It equally amazed me how easily I collapsed back into it again, as a gazed with some envy upon the pitch at that glistening pile of man flesh before me. Listening to the banter in the bar after seemed unsettlingly familiar. Asking myself if it really had been the same for us too, I decided to dig out the last movie my video company made, the one that broke the company , namely the Bees on Toast.

This movie was shot over the course of 1986, including the tour to Madrid when Dublin Jim set the bulls loose from the corrida on the Matto Grosso (which Joy thought was a local Rose.) Impressed by the fact that there was indeed a remarkable correspondence between our experience then and what was being enacted now on playing fields throughout Europe,  I felt impulsed to send this this movie out intact by way of warning to those who were now joining but not too far into the indoctrination process; just to let them know how far this could go, and to help them seek a way out. I also knew from those I had met that some of them were too far gone for any kind of help.

The specters that were Dean and Brian in particular sprung to mind: it was clear that they had supped too far and too deep even to want to be rescued. One early passage of this movie stuck me as particularly prescience. It was that of Des Egan the self-styled founder of the Bs reflecting on his initial inspiration for the team. LIRFC historians an researchers of course have since long debated Des’s version of events, while tracing the influence of others who have mysteriously disappeared without trace, despite the best efforts of the RUC and the Met to trace them.  (We should not be surprised at this as Gerry and George were both serving officers at the time in the Met, in the hayday of its lawlessness, when it was institutionally anti – institutions – you can see the Bs influence here.)

The passage I refer to was Egan saying ‘When i first thought of forming the B’s i was not thinking about creating a rugby side. i was more interested in forming a circus… I wanted performers, singers, dancers … that is what makes it go … I did not purposefully sit down to write a list of names … it was just that over the years – we attracted the right kinds of heads in that sense – and it growed i suppose ..’  It is chilling in retrospect to allow the full resonance of this to sink in, in the light of what we now know.  Note the dissembling around never writing down a list of names when in fact the names of the future power brokers were already well known. I invite you also to review in a fresh light the search for ‘singers and dancers’ when Egan as a self confessed scholar of the mystical Blake knew full well that experience was not bought ‘for a song or a dance alone but will all that man hath ..”

This was clearly a Da Vinci code type cryptic message to let us all know that the means by which he would seduce, ensnare then slowly ruin us all.  Perhaps he knew that only beyond the grave would we ever truly comprehend his intent. The release of the video did trigger quite a flow of reminiscence as well as recognition of the fate of Bs victims. We were now better enlightened as to what was truly going on.  Unlike the Boston College research, our video was withheld until the main witnesses and former captains Des, Tommy and Brendan were sadly dead I was also to grow to learn that the power of the Bs moves in mysterious ways its wonders to perform.

I thought once the movie was up on Youtube then that would be it; those had wanted to would go looking and that no one else would go looking.  But how wrong  I was.  A few weeks ago out of the blue I received an email from a Declan Joy, a name unknown to me saying he was Tommy’s son, that he had come across the movie and could he have a copy. I had no idea Tommy had a son and ensuing correspondence revealed that he had only been with his father towards the end, and that he was so pleased to see this film of him in his all his extravagant pomp.  Now the spooky part is that when I asked him how he came across the movie he let me know it was a complete coincidence .

A friend came across it casually and suddenly there on the screen was his dad.  Einstein once said that “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” True or not what I do know is that I was deeply moved by this. I said to Declan that I too had a lost son – or lost for now – and I could not imagine how it might be for him for to trip across such a record, randomly, of his dad in his prime, after he was dead. And I speculate that I might not be the only B or the son of the same facing this predicament, the puzzle this pain beyond the merriment that carries us all along.  Ollie once taught me in a quiet moment in Amsterdam about remorse and  the pain of it. It is a long way down he said, and he was right. No B worthy of his salt would have truly lived without having touched deep remorse at some point. The Bs do have ways of finding us and our families, lost and found well beyond the grave.  That knowledge is both consolation and burden to know that what goes on tour might one day be on indelible public record.

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Sunday, August 01, 2021
Italian (Italy)English (United Kingdom)

Desiderio Consultants Ltd. is a think tank and a network of independent professional international development consultants established to promote and influence customs & trade-related policies in African nations to achieve trade facilitation reforms aimed at improving international and regional trade
Creativity, Commitment to Excellence, Results

"Made in" rules freezed again

The Italian customs administration gives an answer to the doubts arisen with regard to the applicability of the new “Made in Italy” marking obligations on textile products, leather and footwear foreseen by the Reguzzoni-Versace-Calearo law (law n. 55 of 8 April 2010) and specifies with notice prot. 119919/RU of 12 September 2010, that the 1th October 2010 deadline will not be respected, as the decree of the Minister of the Economic Development (to be adopted together with the Minister of the Economy and Finance and the Minister of the European Policies), has not yet been adopted. This decree should define in detail labelling procedures and ways of use of the «Made in Italy» marks on said products, incuded the procedures for the execution of controls.

(continues... in Italian)

Spanish customs provide details on the implementation of exit summary declarations

Simplify and authomatize the administrative flow of the export process can improve the efficience of controls, speeding up at the same time the movement of goods. In this perspective must be conceived the Exit Summary Declaration (EXS), introduced by the Regulation (EC) N° 648/2005 of the European Parliament and Council (along with the Entry Summary Declaration) and regulated by art. 842 a of Regulation (EEC) N° 2454/93 of the Commission of 2 July 1993 (IP-CCC, i.e. “Implementing Provisions to the Community Customs Code").

(continues Italian)

SISTRI to be operational from 1th October

SISTRI, the new IT system for the control of the traceability of waste born on 2009 on an initiatve of the Italian Ministry for the Environment and the Protection of Land and Sea, has been developed to simplify procedures and fulfilments related to the disposal of wast, so to manage them in an innovative and transparent way, reducing at the same time costs and burdens for businesses.

Spain: more financial autonomy for the Port Authorities

While Italy continues to discuss on how to grant greater financial authonomy to the Port Authorities, the Spanish government publishes in the Boletin Oficial del Estado (Official Journal) the new “Ley de Puertos” on the economic regime and services rendered in the Ports of general interest.

(Continues ... in Italian)

Conference on International Trade, Education and Marketing

CITEM - On December, in Ceske Budejovice (Czech Republic), the first Conference on International Trade, Education and Marketing. Studio Desiderio is among the supporters of the event.

More Articles...

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Desiderio Consultants Ltd., Mandera Road, Kileleshwa, Nairobi (KENYA)

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Spread the love

Sponsors :  Incube

Agenda : A Delhi twitter meet! All Delhi Bloggers and Delhi’s microbloggers are invited.

Date : 20th September, 2008 (Saturday), 5pm – 8pm

Venue : Incube Business Centre
18, Nehru Place,
New Delhi, 110019 , # +91-11-3061 4401

The state of the art venue is wifi enabled and has board rooms with projectors. Snacks/Refreshments would be provided by our sponsors.

Directions : http://www.18nehruplace.in/

Target audience:
Experts/executives from social media related platforms, microblogging platforms or blog platforms, Journalists who know how blogs/microblogs have become an alternative to mainstream media, Professionals who have used social media/blogs to connect and build communities, Marketers (clients or agencies) who are using social media/blog strategies, Techies/application developers in these fields, Entrepreneurs who have ideas around social media and blogging platforms, PR professionals looking to develop/enhance their blogger relationship programs, Marketers who want to look at case studies on how others are using the same and of course Delhi Twitterati.

We plan to have some interesting discussions.

The topics of discussion are :
Bill of Rights for people on Social Networks : Kumar Rahul, Co-founder, Diditz.com
Copyright issues faced – personal experience : Twilight Fairy, Founder, Delhi Bloggers Bloc
A discussion on the microblogging platform of Kwippy.com : Mayank Dhigra, co founder, Kwippy.com
Various uses of twitter – personal experience : Gautam Ghosh, Strategic HR & OD consultant, Business blogger

#Event Details:

5:00pm – 5:30 pm : Interactive round of introductions and perhaps a little bit about incube’s facilities
5:30pm – 7:00 pm : Interactive discussions
7:00pm – 8:00 pm : Refreshments & Social networking
These timings are indicative and they could overshoot by perhaps half an hour.

For any further info please contact Twilight Fairy (Priyanka) at 9811511719

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

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  1. Kuntal says:

    Waao,, Its here in Delhi n I wasn’t aware of any such grp ,, ‘Kammal Hai’ 😀 ! Well anyways,, i wud surely love to attend it,, to make enhancements to my 3 years long experience into it, ;-).!!
    But, I’ve a complaint , u’ve Written “HURRY! REGISTER NOW FOR FREE” but no link to register ???? 🙁

    N watta long blogroll,, i wonder if i can get listed there too 😛 lolz

  2. delhibloggeradmin says:

    Kiran – sure.. please send a mail with ur URL to twilightfairy at gmail dot com.

    Kuntal – well the link is very much there! I hope you are able to see the flash which says “delhi tweetup” – “order now”. If you can not see it, then you can visit http://tweetup.eventbrite.com.

  3. Kuntal says:

    Oh okey, so it was embedded into flash, i personally don’t like flash links cuz u can’t open them in a new window :P,,
    Anyways, Thnx… I’ve already registered now..!!

    and yeah i wud also be sending a mail to get a place in ur blogroll :D,, I hope u won’t mind me having there, lol !!

    Thnx ,, Ciao on Saturday..!! 🙂

  4. Kuntal says:

    But hey i missed out the event 🙁 due to some urgent personal work :'( ,,,
    Can you please creat a post with the follow up of the event ?
    or can u plz plz plzzzzz mail me the same 🙂 i’ll be more than Happy 😀

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Call us: 0116 260 0887
1174 Melton Road, Syston, Leicester, LE7 2HB  |   Map & Directions
Banner Image

Jas Bains

Hygienist, GDC: 4876

Jas Baines Dental HygienistJas joined Delta Dental Care as Hygienist in the summer of 2012. Jas is a hygienist at 2 other dental practices in Leicestershire including Priti Thanasi’s practice in Broughton Astley since the summer of 2015.

She qualified at Eastman Dental Hospital in London in 1995 and is a member of the British Dental Hygienist Association.

She is married with 2 children and enjoys cooking.


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Adobe Illustrator Tutorial: Shell City by Matt Huynh

This is a great tutorial describing the illustrative process that Matt Huynh went threw while designing Shell City.

Shell City was commissioned by Adobe and created using
Adobe® Illustrator® CS4 software.

Matt Huynh is a Sydney-based comic creator and illustrator. Huynh’s graphic novels pursue experimental formats and diverse genres. His inky, energetic brushwork has appeared on magazines and prints, to clothing, accessories, health resources, tattoos, lm, performance projections, vinyl toys and dolls. When he’s not at the drawing table, he can be found conducting instructional workshops, public presentations, exhibitions and live art demonstrations. His inspiration for Shell City:
“For me, comics are the clearest means of engaging audiences.
I use the medium to nd surprising ways to connect with
audiences, both on a purely visceral level and to challenge
conceptions of personal and communal identity.”

Shell City
by Matt Huynh

I start with a pencil sketch, using ordinary HB pencils on cartridge paper. Usually, working o a thumbnail would be ne, but here I worked on A3-size paper to capture all the intricate details.

I scan the sketch and place a low-resolution image of it into a new Adobe® Illustrator® software document.  Sometimes I might jiggle the elements about to get the composition right, but since I’ve worked out most of those problems during the sketch stage, I go straight to “inking” up the image.

I rely predominantly on the Blob Brush tool, because it’s very compatible with the way I work with traditional media. It lets me lay down line work quickly and intuitively with my tablet, so that my inks have energy and spontaneity. I’ve chosen to use Calligraphic brushes with maximum pressure sensitivity to allow lots of variation in my line weights.

I also push the delity and smoothness tolerances to a minimum so that it captures all the nuances of my hand’s gestures. I use the Blob Brush tool to draw freely without thinking about joins or shapes or any other kind of organization. It makes it easier for me to navigate around the many disjointed elements later. I just go back and neatly group or join up the lines.

I lay in the base: at colors and shapes. For some areas, like the turtle, I use a very broad brush with the Blob Brush tool to quickly slap down the shapes. For the angular buildings, I use the Pen tool to create harsh edges and geometric shapes.

At this stage, I’m not aiming to nd the right colors or achieve any kind of nish. I’m only concerned with establishing the composition. The weight of solid shapes may throw o the balance or make an image much heavier than you’d expect from looking at just sparse line work.

The spark above the center satellite antenna is a Zig Zag eect applied to a circle shape. It’s very simple, but I like taking an aggressive comic book “ka-pow!” device and draining it of its fervent energy by using restrained, perfect geometry.

I drew a small section of a rope, perhaps three knots long, with the Blob Brush tool and turned it into a Pattern brush to achieve the pattern on the ailing ropes.

I throw in some shadows and esh out the detailed line work in the background. It’s starting to look busy, so I use contrasting colors to dene adjacent elements.

I add some more details to the line work on the buildings.

The horizontal lines of the windows are simply blends. To achieve a greater variation amongst the lines, I use the Eraser tool to randomly erase sections from the lines and dab the lines with the Warp tool.

Having put in all the basic shapes, I notice the composition is tipsy, so I add the giant gear/wheel into the bottom right to balance out the elements.

Once all the shapes are in, I start playing with the color palette. I like to showcase the inherent characteristics of whatever medium or tools I’m using. I like inks that look like inks and would never try to make watercolors look like oils. So in creating digital work, I like to use the perfectly at, solid colors and gradients that only computers can awlessly achieve, rather than attempting to mimic traditional media.

I used Live Trace on some brush strokes and ink splatters, turned them white, played with their transparency and threw them over the peeking skyline to give the very clean illustration some attitude.

By slapping in the line work with the Blob Brush tool, I’ve achieved an energy and boldness that I’m happy with. However, much of the line work is also very rough: the joins are o and there are stray lines ying in uncontrolled directions.

So I zoom in and clean up the line work with the Smooth tool and delete some of the excess anchor points where needed, such as on the imperfect satellite dishes.

I also use the Eraser tool to clean up some lines, especially the uneven edges around the image’s tough, industrial elements.

I return to coloring to clean up the piece and add in details like shadows, highlights and ner areas of color like the toenails. I add in shadows by applying a grayed-out version of the base color or a transparent black using the Multiply blending mode.

Finally, I use the Blob Brush tool for an authentic signature!

  1. Hi there, I enjoy reading through your article post. I like to write a little comment to support you.

  2. Hey, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at

    your blog in Opera, it looks fine but when
    opening in Internet Explorer, it

    has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you
    a quick heads up! Other then that, fantastic blog!

    • Thanks I’ll take a look, I don’t really put to much effort into backwards compatibility issues w/ old IE browsers. I’m thinking it’s about time for an upgrade to the design as it is so this is just another little push for me. Cheers!


text:
Saturday, March 9, 2013

"In 2003, Columbia Business School professor Frank Flynn and New York University professor Cameron Anderson ran an experiment. They started with a Harvard Business School case study about a real-life entrepreneur named Heidi Roizen. It described how Roizen became a successful venture capitalist by using her “outgoing personality … and vast personal and professional network … [which] included many of the most powerful business leaders in the technology sector.” Half the students in the experiment were assigned to read Heidi’s story. The other half got the same story with just one difference—the name was changed from Heidi to Howard.

When students were polled, they rated Heidi and Howard as equally competent. But Howard came across as a more appealing colleague. Heidi was seen as selfish and not “the type of person you would want to hire or work for.” This experiment supports what research has already clearly shown: success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less." - Sheryl Sandberg


text:
Through independent subsidiaries D Mecatronics offers sector and technology specific solutions. The market strategy is to capitalize on their expertise by manufacturing high quality, durable machinery with a significant number of product features and leading edge technology application.

They operate within business segments that are focused on specific market areas. Business segment teams work on a very narrow section of the market and attempt to achieve the best reputation in that section.


text:
Sex Offenders

Sex Offenders Residing within the City of Levelland and Hockley County

The information herein is based on the Levelland Police Department's desire to both comply with state law as enumerated in Chapter 62 of the Texas Code of Criminal Procedure and to facilitate access to that information. Individuals herein are included solely by virtue of the conviction and state law. The Levelland Police Department has not considered or assessed the specific risk of re-offense with regard to any individual prior to his or her inclusion within this registry and has made no determination that any individual included in registry is currently dangerous.

Positive identification of persons covered by Chapter 62 of the Texas Code of Criminal Procedure cannot be established unless a fingerprint comparison is made. Because misidentifications may occur when trying to identify a particular person based solely on name and other identifiers, extreme care must be used in the review and use of the information provided herein. The Levelland Police Department updates this information periodically as prescribed by law. Therefore, the information contained herein may not be current. Please be aware that information herein may not reflect the current residence or status. If you believe that the information herein contains an error, please contact the Levelland Police Department Criminal Investigation Division at (806) 894-6164 or write to:

Levelland Police Department

1310 Avenue H

Levelland, TX 79336

The Levelland Police Department shall not be responsible for any errors or omissions produced by secondary dissemination of the data. Any person who uses the information to injure, harass, or commit a criminal act against any individual will be subject to criminal prosecution. Use of this site constitutes your agreement to the above terms and conditions.

Proceed to Sex Offender Address Listing


text:
Tuesday, March 23, 2010

An Interview

Recently, Robyn over at "How are You?" and Other Dumb Questions contacted me in regards to an article she was writing for her college journalism class. The article was to focus on the trend and impact of chronic illness, and would include interviews and discussions with various bloggers describing their experiences living with ME/CFS.

I thought she asked some great questions, which helped to provide not only a glimpse into my world, but also into the world of both the chronically ill and those who are on the severe end of the ME/CFS spectrum. I requested Robyn's permission to post our interview on my blog, and she kindly agreed. You can find it in its entirety below.

Many thanks to her for inviting me to participate. I was honored to be part of the project! Please be sure to check out her blog, which is linked above.

Hi Laurel,

Thank you so much for getting back to me! I’m delighted that you’ve agreed to my interview. I absolutely understand your limitations, and I am happy to conduct the interview via email.

First, a few basics:

1) Where do you live? With whom do you live?

I live in Arizona in my parents' home. I moved to AZ from Boston sometime after getting mono, but before being diagnosed with CFS.

2) Are you married? I read about your fiancé on your blog—congratulations! What are your plans for the wedding, or are they on hold because of the illnesses both you and your fiancé experience?

Thank you! Unfortunately, we have not yet married. Our wedding is on hold until our health improves. We live in different states about 2,000 miles apart, and we are both currently too sick to travel or pick up and move. Jim was able to fly out here to surprise me and propose, but it was an enormous effort on his part and takes a big toll on his health. So, as much as we'd love to get married now, it will have to wait until one or both of us is feeling much better. Then we'll both be dancing down the aisle. Or wheeling down it. Whatever the case may be. :)

3) Speaking of your fiancé, I understand that he too suffers from debilitating CFS and is wheelchair-bound. Can you tell me a little bit about your relationship and how your understanding of illness brings you closer?

It is wonderful to have a companion who can fully understand this illness and all its complexities, frustrations and difficulties. CFS is a disease so often misunderstood by the non-sufferer, and it's a real comfort to have a companion who can so completely relate. At the same time, it can also be very difficult because of all the restrictions CFS creates for us, and because we both know just how much the other is going through.

But to be honest, Jim and I actually don't spend that much time talking about CFS. We do discuss it of course, but we both have so many similar passions and interests in life that there are always countless other things we want to talk about. That's what I find most fulfilling about our relationship... our connection beyond and despite CFS.

Also, Jim is incredibly smart and very funny. We have great discussions, and he often reminds me to laugh and keep smiling despite it all. I think that's really important. I don't think I could have gotten through this without that reminder. Or without him.

Thank you! Next, I’d really like to know more about your relationship with illness. I know the story of how you first got sick—a serious case of mono complicated itself into a severe case of CFS—but I’d like to know more about its effect on your daily life and your relationship with current doctors.

1) First, the name “chronic fatigue syndrome”—do you feel it describes accurately what you have? Why or why not?

Definitely not, and for many reasons. First, it only focuses on one symptom, and on a symptom that is common in many illnesses (as well as in every day life). Second, many sufferers would not even consider fatigue as their main or most debilitating issue. For me, if I were to list my symptoms in order of their severity, they would be 1) post-exertional malaise (worsening of symptoms after the most minor of exertion), 2) orthostatic intolerance, and 3) neurological problems/ sensory overload. Next would be incapacitating exhaustion, which leads to the other reason the name is so inappropriate. The word fatigue is a grossly inadequate term for what we experience. The exhaustion level is completely outside the normal, healthy conception of fatigue, and I think that is part of the reason it is so hard for people to fully grasp. It's much more about feeling horribly sick than it is about feeling tired. So, the name of this illness is really unfortunate and is part of what creates so much stigma and misunderstanding.

2) It took 2 years for you to be diagnosed with CFS. How many doctors did you go through before someone realized what you had? What were the frustrations of your diagnostic process?

I'd say I probably saw about a dozen or more doctors before I was officially diagnosed. I saw several internists, several infectious disease doctors, a neurologist, an endocrinologist, a rheumatologist, etc. They had to rule out all kinds of other diseases first, so it took a long time. Much longer than it should have, in part because of the lack of knowledge about CFS even within the medical community. I have had doctors tell me they didn't believe in CFS, that I was probably just depressed and should "snap out of it," and even that I needed to stop causing so much distress to my family. It's really terrible some of the things doctors have said to me over the years. Not that there haven't been some competent and compassionate MD's along the way as well, of course, but they were the rarity rather than the norm. There are very few doctors educated on CFS out there, and that's a real problem.

3) I’ve seen your Youtube video, as I mentioned before, but I’d like to know more. Please tell me how being chronically ill affects your everyday life. How many hours a day do you need to sleep? How much time are you actually able to spend doing things you enjoy? Who takes care of you? What is your relationship with your caretaker like?

Prior to getting mono and developing CFS, I slept like a rock each night, and needed very little sleep to feel energized, healthy and functional. The sleep disturbances so common with this illness seemed to occur overnight for me the very day I fell suddenly sick. So, I don't often sleep very well and don't feel refreshed even when I do. I tend to get between 5-9 hours of sleep each night, depending. If I get less than 8, I am completely non-functional.

As for day-to-day activities, I'm very limited, especially following my recent setback. I tend to spend about an hour online writing and checking email and my various social outlets, and then I'm pretty much wiped out. So, the remainder of my day is usually spent listening to an audiobook or to music or NPR/talk radio. Sadly, that's about it. It's all terribly exciting. ;) Clearly it's not the adventurous, active life I'd always imagined for myself, but I do the best I can with it and try to take things day by day. I still have faith that a full, healthy life awaits me and remains attainable.Regarding assistance, I live in my parents' house and they both help me out as needed. Due to severe orthostatic intolerance, I can only sit up for about 5 minutes, but thankfully I can make it to the rest room on my own in my wheelchair (about 3 yards away), and can still sponge bathe in bed on my own as well. So really I mostly need help with food/meals, cleaning, laundry, errands, phone calls, etc. My mom does all of that for me and I'm extremely grateful to her for it.

If my parents are not available, our wonderful next door neighbor comes by to help me out as necessary. We are very lucky to have her. We used to use a disability service, and they were terrible... incredibly unreliable. So this works out much better, and I feel really fortunate about that.

This illness is often quite hard on the caretaker as well as the patient, particularly if that person is a family member. The dynamics change, and there are so many frustrations on both ends. It's very hard to watch a loved one suffer, and feel there's not much you can really do to help. So, I try to make this as easy on my family as possible and to ask for as little help as possible as well.

4) Can you lead me through an average day being Laurel?

Oh boy. :) As mentioned above, my day-to-day life is not very exciting. The highlight of my day really is checking my email and writing to/hearing from my fiance. I am usually wiped out after about an hour of online activity, and the remainder of my day is spent listening to the radio or an audiobook. Due to neurological problems, I can't read books or really watch TV, so audiobooks have become a huge part of my life. Some days I'm too sick even for that, and can do nothing but lay in bed in silence, or listening to music.

On "decent" days, I can sometimes be wheeled to my parents' bedroom to lay in their bed for a change of scenery. Their room has a larger window with a better view of the mountains, which can make for a nice temporary escape. I call it my jail break. :)

5) What kind of stigma have you experienced having a chronic illness, especially such a severe one? How has your relationship with others changed since you have been sick?

The stigma attached to this illness is tremendous. Again, I think that has a lot to do with the name. It suggests we are all just tired or lazy, and that we should be able to deal with it and get on with our lives. I still remember the first time I told someone I had CFS and they actually laughed at me. Laughter is not a response you expect when telling someone you have a serious, debilitating, multi-systemic disease. But I've actually had that response more than once, particularly when I was still working and seemed healthy. When I first became homebound, someone actually said to me "I wish I could take time off work and just lay around the house all day too." You would never hear someone say that to a person who had just become disabled with MS, HIV/AIDS or cancer, diseases the CDC has equated CFS to in terms of illness severity and disability. So, there's a real lack of understanding.

I also think there is a stigma attached to the idea of a chronic illness in general, and to the severity of that illness. That is, if you are bedbound with chronic disease and with little improvements over time, some people can see that as a failure of some sort. They think you should be able to overcome it somehow, even if there are no viable treatments available. I actually had someone (who clearly didn't know me very well) tell me that if I am still this sick after all these years, then I must just not want to get better. It was as though the person thought I would actually choose this for myself, or as though I haven't done everything in my power to try to get well. It can feel very demoralizing.

Regarding relationships, I don't think there is a single relationship this illness hasn't affected. With my case being so severe, I am unable to talk on the phone, unable to spend much time online, and can only tolerate a few minutes of interaction. That obviously creates a huge barrier on maintaining strong relationships with the people in my life. We do the best we all can to work around it, but obviously it makes things much harder. The dynamics of the relationship also change. There's no longer an equal exchange of give and take. Obviously I'm not able to give of myself in a relationship as much as I would like, and that is hard as well.

Illness in general is also a difficult thing for a lot of people to deal with. While I am fortunate that most of my friends have stayed in touch with me, there are also a couple who have quietly disappeared. People go on with their lives. I also think some just don't know what to say after awhile, especially since I can't always respond. I certainly don't blame them for that, of course. But I do miss them.

6) Would you characterize your illness as an “invisible illness?”

The fact that most of us don't look sick does, I think, contribute to the stigma and misunderstanding of this illness. It's hard for people to truly understand just how sick we are when we look perfectly healthy. Even for those of us bedbound or wheelchair bound, it's still hard for most people to really grasp. This is made worse by the ridiculous name, as discussed above. Because really, who hasn't been chronically tired? I think until the name changes, we will continue to experience misunderstanding. I'm hoping with the latest research that things will start to turn around soon. I'm especially hopeful that new and better treatments may be around the corner.

7) You’ve mentioned that you are not depressed, which I’m glad to hear. (I unfortunately can’t say the same, but I am under adequate treatment for that part of my illness story). Even so, your blog is called “Dreams at Stake.” How does putting your dreams on hold make you feel? Are you frustrated, upset, or do you simply accept your condition?

I am fortunate that depression has not been an issue for me despite my situation. Though, if it were, it would certainly be understandable. It's easy to see why someone with CFS may also suffer from depression, but important to note that the depression is most often secondary to the illness. That is, as with any debilitating disease that involves so much loss and physical pain, there is likely to be some grief and sadness to come along with that. Secondary depression can occur with any kind of serious, life-altering illness.

While depression thus far has not been an issue for me, it is not to say I don't have my down moments, or that I am not disappointed and intensely frustrated by my situation. This is especially true when I'm having a major setback like I am now, and am even more limited and sicker than usual. It is beyond discouraging. But I try as best I can to stay focused on what I have, rather than what I've lost. I think it would be impossible to get through this on a daily basis otherwise. I am fortunate to have my fiance to help with that, as I am not sure I'd have been as successful in getting through this without him.

I think it's important to differentiate between depression and frustration. With depression, a person tends to give up all hope. With frustration, the very word implies that the hope and determination and desire are all still there. So yes, I am incredibly frustrated. I am frustrated at all the lost dreams, at all the lost relationships and experiences and goals. I am frustrated with the lack of research and understanding, the misconceptions, and the stigma. And I'm frustrated by CFS itself... its severity, its limitations, its unrelenting nature, etc. It's all unbelievably frustrating. But despite it all, there's still meaning and hope in my life, and that's what I try to focus on as best I can.

As for my blog title, I have to confess I didn't come up with that entirely on my own. I had submitted my story to The CFIDS Association of America, and they asked if they could publish it. They came up with that title, and I liked it. It summed up the main reason I had written my story -- to plead for more action and to emphasize that people with CFS are people with dreams and ambitions who didn't want to be sick, and who want to get well and live out their lives just like everyone else. I wanted to show that, even though this illness has taken away the fulfillment of many of our dreams, it has not taken away the dreams themselves.

Anyway, that was a really long answer!

8) What do you enjoy most in your life?

I've learned to appreciate the little things, which when you think about it, are really the big things anyway: my fiance, my family, my friends, good food, a bed to sleep in, shelter, the views from my window, a good book, a rare day of not being in total physical distress from morning until night, being able to write when I can, etc. If this illness has taught me anything, it's to appreciate the little things, because you never know when they might be taken from you. When I first became housebound, I thought I'd lost everything. But I could still walk, talk, shower, watch TV... I didn't realize how good I had it. :) I wish I'd been more grateful for the little things then, and so I try to be mindful of that now and enjoy what small things I can still enjoy.

Finally, I’d like to hear your thoughts on blogging and online community.

1) You started your blog last May. What made you decide to start a blog?

I started to blog for two main reasons: to raise awareness, and to have a voice. I used to get so frustrated that those of us most severely afflicted with this illness do not often get to tell our story because we are simply too sick to do so, and our stories therefore are not often heard. It occurred to me one day that I could try to be that voice, even if in just some small way. I wanted my story out there, as well as Jim's, in the hopes that it could increase awareness and would perhaps be helpful to others going through the same thing.

Blogging has become more difficult for me with this last crash, but I hope to continue with it whenever I am able.

2) How has blogging increased your feelings of community (if at all)? Have you found many others who empathize and understand your daily struggles?

The blogging community is great! When I first started to blog, I had not been anticipating that it would be so interactive, and it was a nice surprise. I am not able to be as interactive as I'd like to be (it's so hard for me to keep up with it all), but it is good to know there's such a large community out there, and that we are all supportive of each other. We are not alone, and blogging is a great reminder of that.

3) Have you joined any other chronic illness communities? If so, which ones and how have they helped/ affected you?

I do belong to some other social outlets, (e.g., CFS and Lyme message boards, Facebook, a book club, etc), though I haven't been able to be as active on any of them since crashing. But it is a great way to communicate and meet others going through the same thing, or to stay in touch with old friends, meet new people, etc. It helps with the isolation that is so common with this illness.

4) Why do you blog?

Again, primarily to raise awareness, and to get my story out there. It's a tremendous thing to feel like you are finally being heard.

5) How do you balance your desire to be online with your personal struggles with sensory overload? How do you budget your time?

Oh that's a tough one!! I am not good with pacing AT ALL. I've always been an over achiever; someone who always needs to be doing something, always accomplishing something, always active and engaged. I am not one who has ever been good at waiting, or resting, or laying around. That's really been the toughest thing for me, and is a constant struggle. I don't think I'd have gotten as sick as I have if I'd been better able to manage that struggle, instead of always being so determined to try to push past it. Even now when bedridden (in fact, perhaps even more so), I don't think a day goes by that I don't push my envelope in some capacity, hoping (despite about a million lessons to the contrary) that today will be the day I get away with it. The push/crash phenomena of CFS is such a brutal and difficult lesson to learn. But I do my best with it. I try to give myself a set time of how long I spend online each day. I don't always follow that time-line very well, but I do try.

CFS truly requires an enormous amount of patience.

Thank you again for talking with me, Laurel.

It was my pleasure, Robyn. Thank you!

  1. Hi Laurel. That was a great interview. It must have been utterly exhausting to do though. I assume it was broken into small segments.

    I too can't read very easily and have discovered the wonderful world of audiobooks. I've found that the right reader can make all the difference. Sometimes, I get books just because I like the reader. They're so much less expensive now that they can be downloaded from the Internet.

    I also listen a lot to NPR. I like to joke that I can recite the schedule by memory.

    We seem to spent the day in much the same way, although I'm a bit more functional than you are at this point. I did manage to write a book about chronic illness -- but it was a slow and difficult process, done with my laptop on the bed. I was just trying to make lemonade out lemons -- like you were doing when you gave testimony from the bed.

    Rest up and we'll welcome your next post

  2. Thanks, Toni! Yes, the interview was done by email, and I worked on each question slowly over time. I type with my eyes closed, then go back and fix all my typos. :)

    Audiobooks are wonderful. I too think that the narrator can make all the difference.

    That's fantastic about your book!! Is it out yet? I would love to have a look when it is.

    Thanks for your kind comments, as always.

  3. Great interview, Robyn and Laurel.

    I have a question about something you said about not asking your caregivers for much. How much is it possible not to ask for what you need? What if you need a glass of water or something. Do you wait until you're dying of thirst so you can space out your requests?

  4. That's a great interview, and I watched your YouTube video as well.

    I just wanted you to know that the struggle you have gone through has already made a difference. Because I'm able to easily research your story and others like it on the internet, I am not just "pushing through" my illness. There is always pressure to do so, but I know that it will likely make me worse, potentially much worse.

    Hang in there, and good luck with your period of more activity coming up!

  5. Hi Laurel. Thanks for sharing this brilliant interview. You write about your experiences with this illness so eloquently, and I feel that you're speaking for me too sometimes (I'm at a similar level of severity as you).

    I do hope your health begins to improve and you come out of the long crash you've been having. Take care.

  6. hanks Erik! It's always nice to hear from new people, and to know my story has been helpful in some way. And yes, not pushing beyond your energy envelope is essential! I still struggle with that. :)

    Thanks for your kind words as well, Amy. I'm sorry you're in a similar situation, though I'm glad my writing helps in some small way. Loved the quote you sent me, too!

    Cinderkeys - Yes, if I am out of water and can't get it myself (I have a fridge in my room), I will ask for it. But I've always been very independent, and asking for help is often hard for me. I don't like to trouble people. :) So, I just try to ask for the essentials, and if there's something I feel I can accomplish myself, I attempt to do it myself (e.g., I'll try to settle something by email first before asking my mom to make a phone call for me, etc). My mom does a lot for me already, so that's all I meant... that I try to make this as easy on my parents as possible, and they try to make this as easy on me as possible too.

  7. great interview! u paint a true picture of the battles of cfs, tho I know there are days where the challenges are even more severe than u described here. I admire u and look to u for inspiration. u are my hero.

    btw, do u have a link to the unabridged, longer version of the interview? ;)

  8. Thanks, Jim. You are MY hero.

    Funny, I almost warned everyone that my answers were long, but I figured they'd notice that themselves somewhere along the way. :)

  9. I really like the distinction you made between depression and frustration. You are right, hope makes the difference and the distinction is important. I liked your answer to the last question too. I always feel like I'm terrible at pacing, like I'm pushing too much. Thanks though for pushing yourself to do this interview!

  10. Laurel - I really enjoyed reading this interview. Robyn did an incredible job.

    I feel like I know you a little better now.

    This interview, for me anyway, really did a great job at painting a visual picture of what it is like in the day and life of a CFIDS sufferer.

    Thank you both for doing this and for sharing it with us.

  11. Thank you for this wonderful interview, Robyn and Laurel. Very well done!!

  12. What a wonderful interview, Laurel. Thank you for taking this huge effort, it must have taken you forever to do it!

    I really like the new layout too, gives a sense of peace and freedom, at least in the mind.

  13. Thanks, Dominique, Alison, MFS and Nina! Love getting all your comments.

  14. hi Laurel, I want to thank you for this interview and your blog, it is great and informative.

    I couldn´t read everything, but will come back some day to read the rest.
    It is helpfull to read about other sufferers and sometimes the wise statments of them help me to speak with others about my sickness.

    I wish you all the best and never lose the hope.

  15. Hi Laurel,

    I just saw your comment, asking about my book. If you click on my name, you'll get to my profile. Then there's a link called My Web Page on the left. It has all the news about the book, plus a bunch of text I wrote for the website (my daughter has designed and put the webstie together).

    Right now we're finishing up the editing process with the manuscript going back and forth between me and the editor. It's a difficult and stressful process, but I think the book can help a lot of people. At least I hope so!

  16. I've been on your blog, but never read how it all began (maybe I do know what caused your CFS, and just forgotten!). I, too, had the dreaded GF!

    It's always interesting to read someone else's story; thanks for posting the interview. It's great that you are raising awareness for severly affected sufferers, good for you!!

  17. Thanks Minoush, Toni and Forgetful Girl! Appreciate the comments.

    Toni -- I actually did check it out your book and it sounds great! Congrats on such a huge success. Your art work is beautiful as well, by the way. Lovely site all around.

  18. I read the interview yesterday - it's amazing. Nice job to you both. Laurel, you're an inspiration. :)

  19. What a powerful interview. I'm going to post a link to it on my today's blog. This illness takes its toll!


text:
Ilona L. Tobin, Ed.D.

Licensed Psychologist

Archive for the ‘Self Esteem’ Category

Much like a computer responds to commands, your brain can be programmed to accept any changes you might want to make in your life. However, many of your current behaviors stem from unconstructive programming you received as a child that may stand in the way of change.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, in his book Psycho-Cybernetics, published in 1960, says, “Beliefs about ourselves have unconsciously been formed from our past experiences … especially in early childhood.” So keep in mind, when you want to change a particular habit or belief, that the unwanted behavior was built on patterns developed over time. Read the rest of this entry »

Tolerations are a drain on life energy and distract you from your life purpose. Here’s a list of 10 behaviors and situations to stop tolerating.

1. Unkind words or behavior. If you’ve been putting up with people speaking disrespectfully to you, some work on your self-esteem may be in order.

2. Poor work/life balance. It’s essential for health and happiness not to let work take priority over home and family.

3. Unhappiness in your job. These tolerations might include disrespectful clients, bosses or coworkers. What is one action that you can take right now to shift the situation?

4. Clutter. Take five minutes each day to put things in order. Someone else’s mess? Have an honest conversation about the problem.

5. House and car repairs. Make it a habit to repair things quickly. You might be saving yourself from a bigger problem (and bill).

6. Lack of respect for time. Communicate honestly about the impact of other people’s lateness. Take inventory of your awareness of others’ time, if needed.

7. Poor wellness habits. Don’t give in to bad habits. Being proactive about your health now can prevent larger health issues in the future.

8. Obligations. Your wishes are important. Don’t want to attend the work party for a coworker you never bonded with? That’s okay.

9. Financial problems. Use an online budget system like to keep yourself financial fit.

10. Negativity. Try listing five things in your life for which you have gratitude right now.


text:
Does Penis Get Bigger When You Get Fatter

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Does Penis Get Bigger When You Get Fatter

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Does Penis Get Bigger When You Get Fatter

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Bullet Industry glossary

Solder Wetting
The formation of a relatively uniform, smooth, unbroken and adherent film of solder to a basis metal.

From IPC-T-50G

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

State Board of Ed: Representing Whom?

Our State Board of Education is comprised of 19 members. Eleven of the members are elected by the people of each region of the state, and eight are appointed by the Governor. The elected members are:

  • District 1: John Bender of Avon, educator, former State Representative in the General Assembly
  • District 2: Ann Jacobs* of Lima. Lawyer, former local school board member
  • District 3: Susan Haverkos of West Chester, business owner
  • District 4: G.R. (Sam) Schloemer of Cincinnati, businessman, former local school board member
  • District 5: Robin Hovis* of Millersburg, investment representative, was previously appointed by Gov. Taft
  • District 6: Kristen McKinley*# of Hilliard (our rep), labor attorney representing OEA members
  • District 7: Tammy O'Brien* of Akron, lawyer (undergrad degree in education)
  • District 8: Deborah Cain of Uniontown, retired teacher
  • District 9: Michael Collins*# of Westerville, businessman (education degree) former local school board member.
  • District 10: Jeff Hardin* of Milford. College educator.
  • District 11: Mary Rose Oakar* of Cleveland, former US Representative

* = newly elected; # = endorsed by the Ohio Education Association, the statewide teachers' union.

Appointed members are:

  • Stephen Millett of Columbus, Battelle futurist. Taft appointee, term ends 2010
  • Jennifer Sheets of Pomeroy, attorney. Voinovich & Taft appointee, term ends 2010
  • Carl Wick of Centerville, retired NCR executive, former teacher. Taft appointee, term ends 2010
  • Ann Womer Benjamin of Aurora, lawyer, former State Representative. Taft appointee, term ends 2010
  • Dennis Reardon* of Pickerington, former Executive Director of OEA. Strickland appointee
  • N. Daniel Green* of Gallipolis, retired postmaster, US Postal Service. Strickland appointee
  • Tracy Smith* of Van Wert. High School teacher. Strickland appointee.
  • Martha Harris* of Cleveland Heights. Special Ed teacher. Strickland appointee

Colleen Grady over at the State of Ohio Education blog posted her snapshot of the most recently appointed members, Readon, Green, Smith and Harris. I pay particular attention to what Colleen and her blog partner, Susan Haverkos, have to say about education matters as both served on State Board themselves. Susan continues to be a State Board member, while Colleen gave up her seat in order to accept an appointment to serve (a short time) in the 127th Ohio General Assembly.

Colleen made note that three out of the four are OEA members, with only Mr. Green not being an educator. Mr. Green's background does including serving on his local school board. The OEA endorsed election winners Kristen McKinley and Michael Collins, representing Central Ohio. None of the candidates endorsed by the OEA in the other five races for State Board seats won however.

Locally, our area has a new representative on the State Board – Kristen McKinley, who lives here in Hilliard. She ran against Larry Wolpert and James Moyer. Larry Wolpert is well known in Hilliard, having served as both a member of Hilliard City Council and as our State Representative in the Ohio General Assembly. James Moyer is not as well known in our part of the county, but ran a solid race, receiving nearly 77,000 votes (21%), including mine.

I started the research for this post taking a cue from Colleen's article, with suspicion that the OEA was beginning to exert an unhealthy amount of influence on the State Board of Education elections. The fact that only two of their seven endorsed candidates won suggests that the OEA's influence over elections is not that great – at least not statewide, not yet.

However, here in Franklin County, I think it was significant. Kristen McKinley won 56% of the vote in a three-way race, yet I don't remember seeing much campaigning by her here in her home territory. Maybe she just conceded Hilliard to Larry Wolpert, who received around 50% of the vote in nearly all of the Hilliard area precincts. Across the whole voting district, which includes much of Franklin County, she received over 200,000 votes. With the number of OEA members employed in central Ohio, I have to believe that a lot of these votes came from OEA members and their families.

By the way, second place in this race was "none of the above," with nearly 200,000 voters making no selection at all for State Board of Education.

Governor Strickland used his opportunity to appoint four new at-large members to the State Board to fill three of those seats with OEA folks, including the former Executive Director of OEA, Dennis Reardon. Colleen observed that two of the Governor's appointees, Tracy Smith and Martha Smith actually ran in the November election and lost (Smith to Jacobs, and Harris to Oskar). Interesting that the Governor would appoint two folks that the people of their community rejected.

It is not clear what role Governor Strickland would like the State Board to take going forward. Remember that he has already asked the General Assembly to put education fully under the administration of the Governor, a reorganization that would require amending the Ohio Constitution. I think this might be a good thing by the way, primarily because the Governor is a very visible elected official, and someone We The People are more likely to hold accountable than we do the State Board of Education, which is largely invisible and anonymous.

The next best thing for the Governor is to get people seated on the State Board who agree with his vision. He'll have a chance to appoint four more at-large members in 2010. There's a chance that with those appointments, a majority of the State BoE members would be OEA sympathizers.

That somehow seems inappropriate to me. The OEA already has a powerful presence in the Statehouse due to its campaign contributions and lobbying efforts. It seems to me like the State Board of Education, just like local school boards, should be the voice of the people who are consumers of education services, and who pay the taxes to support the schools – which substantially means to pay the teachers. However, we need to remember that the State Board has limited fiscal power, unlike a local school board, and that budgeting and taxation remains the province of the Governor and the General Assembly.

The economics of education is going to be a major challenge for the Governor and the General Assembly. Education funding is the largest part of the state budget, and the largest part of that funding goes to pay the salaries and benefits of educators. He'll have to figure out how to come through on his commitments to big campaign supporters – like the OEA - yet balance the budget in a challenging economic climate. The Governor is a smart guy, and I'm very much looking forward to seeing what his plan will be when he announces it shortly.

In particular, it will be interesting to see whether he thinks he has the political leverage to push through the reorganization of primary/secondary education in Ohio.

  1. It's worse than you think. Benjamin, Cain, Bender and Oakar have all received teacher union campaign contributions in the past. Bender and Benjamin when they ran for the state legislature, Oakar when she was in Congress and Cain when she was elected to the State Board two years ago. All of Cain's volunteers were OEA. (Cain's a retired teacher and former OEA member.)

  2. Playing devil's advocate, why is this such a bad thing?

  3. Marc:

    As I said in the article, I think my objection comes from thinking about the State Board of Education as though it is a state level version of a local school board. It's not really, the local school board actually has more power as it can levy taxes (with direct voter approval), and it has great (but not absolute) control over the way money is spent.

    I would definitely object to having the Hilliard School Board loaded with HEA members, or even strong HEA sympathizers, as a key role of the Board is to represent the voters of the community in union contract negotiations.

    The State Board doesn't have quite that role, but then it does in a way because it recommends the budget to the Governor (and would have even more power if GIRFOF were enacted), and to a great extent an education budget is the same as the salary and benefits plan for the state's school employees.

    If the State Board is loaded up with educators, who speaks for the other stakeholders?

  4. I think it needs to be understood that the representation will not be of the individual taxpayer but of special interest groups.

    We should be in a planning mode as individual homeowners to prepare ourselves for the huge increases coming to us.

    The variables are well documented as the following
    1. A decrease in funding to our district based on our status viewed as a wealthy district, plus
    a state funding cut. Taxes will not be raised at the state level and the governor has stated so. The Legislature will not allow one either as it is not politically
    doable. The tax shift as I have spoken to so many times will come to us.
    2. The next contract at the same level of the last 3 has to be accounted for . Also a change back to no medical contribution.
    This will be accomplished in fear by the district of a strike. The issue is the district and its employees view anything less than the 7% module as a pay cut, instead of a simple short term adjustment

    3.A larger employee base with additional aids, support staff to address the planning time issue.

    4. A bond levy for infrasturcture will be due.

    5. Pension shortfall contribution
    increase of about 1.5 to 2%

    The next two levies will be double digit easily, so if you do the math on an average home in the district, lets say 150,000 your liablility the first time could be in the neighborhood of 800.00 in
    2010 and another 800.00 2012 and I believe this to be on the low end
    So realistically in year four the tax increase will be $1600.00 per year in 2012. Without getting the increases in compensation, that is going to be a huge challenge for many of us.

    But unfortunatly our districtt and its employees dont really care, and if we ask questions, we will be hurting the kids.

    As Steve ( Anon ) asked, how would a slight reduction in the increase
    of compensation, NOT A CUT. hurt the kids.

    If you have a larger home value,
    yikes !

    I think we are going to lose some
    sports, arts, music, bussing AP programs because I do not see people being able to afford these types of increases.

    I think the district should simply give us a heads up quickly as to what their forcast really will cost so we can start planning accordingly

  5. Rick, while I agree with you that the taxpayers are not being represented by much of anyone, I do disagree that we HAVE to look forward to the same old contracts next time around. I think it is fairly clear that many of us have finally woken up as to what is going on around us, and have said enough is enough. Of course the down side of that, given the lack of any increases in state funding, or any other income sources, is that cuts are going to have to be made. I will not vote yes for another levy without clear indications that equitable cuts are made throughout the budget, and not just teachers salaries and benefits even though that is the bulk of the budget and that is where the most money will HAVE to be saved. But I am not pessimistic enough to believe that we are in a a "do or die" situation where everyone is going to get what what they want and we are going to get stuck with the bill. I know that I won't as I would move out of the district if the board caved like they did last time.

  6. Rick writes, "The next contract at the same level of the last 3 has to be accounted for . Also a change back to no medical contribution. This will be accomplished in fear by the district of a strike."

    As a teacher in Hilliard and an active HEA member, I don't know ANYONE who thinks there will ever be a return to the days of no medical contribution (and I don't even think that would be appropriate). So I really wish you would lay off some of the cynicism, Rick. As MusicMan has pointed out before, it really poisons your message and makes it difficult to listen to your good points. Just food for thought...but it depends on whether your goal is simply venting, or fostering real dialogue.

  7. Rick said:
    "But unfortunatly our districtt and its employees dont really care, and if we ask questions, we will be hurting the kids."

    I do not see the need for this kind of approach. What do you hope to accomplish with this tact?

  8. Anon, Musicman.

    Real dialogue did take place with district with a legitimate proposal to

    1. Recognize the reality of the numbered points that I listed.
    The only exception was at that point we were not aware of the pension increase contribution due to the investment dollars going south in the State Pension funds
    This is also well documented.

    2. A proposal WAS made to have an immediate conversation to LIMIT
    growth to a possible starting point of 3% The response has been
    one of defeaning silence. In addition employees in the audience had a good chuckle out of that one.

    So a legitimate proposal was brought to the attention of the district. Paul also had a suggestion that he put forth on the compensation module.That also met with a zero response.

    Given the last contract was passed narrowly and the medical contribution was a key part of it along with maintaing the same
    3+4% raise module, and the last 3 contracts have been similar, I simply dont see a big change in this. It has nothing to do with cynism at all. I simply think the district given the variables that are noted should give us an ideas what the costs can be so we can simply plan accordingly financially given what the economic realities are right now.
    I checked with the auditors office to get a basic scenario so I dont think the numbers are that far off

    Perhaps both of you dont see any of those variables as real challenging situations for an individual homeowner. Given the compensation module increases, I totally understand. But many are not getting any increases, and actual cuts, layoffs etc. So big increases in our outlays are coming. Should we not have the opportunity to plan ahead versus being hit with this just a levy time

    If you remember I supported the last levy, and have supported every levy for the schools.

    Again, a proposal to limit growth to 3% WAS made. With no response what else do we have to go on.
    The last contract negotiation produced some challenging financial issues for students and parents. It is what it is, and it got swept under the rug.
    If it was about the kids, why were groups of graduating seniors financially affected ? Those kids
    had their college plans affected
    Sorry, reality, not cynicsm. I am glad personnally that we are only faced with more loan cost rather
    than those who are not in school because they needed those awards, scholarships etc.

    Hopefully next time, this will not happen. Simply put but the district and its entities need to recognize that this was not a good thing that happenend. Again, defeaning silence.

    Hillerdite, while I agree with you that there should be an adjustment (NOT a CUT) I see the threat of losing busing,sports, programming as a way to continue business as usual.

    I have no issues raising my contribution as we all have done this consistently. But I dont think we should be ignoring the points I made as something cynical or that there is no possible way that they will happen.

    As noted as the starting point for this particular topic on the blog
    Who is representing the individual community member ? The special interests that have deep campaign
    and lobbying advantages have loaded the board accordingly. Thanks to Paul for the overview on where everyone came from on the new state board.

    I dont think it is a good financial planning idea to not recognize legitimate financial impacts to our district funding. I happen to be of the opinion that everything should be on the table for adjustments.
    At this point, everything has not been on the table and thats what we have to go by at this point in time.

  9. Musicman, proposals made have been met with no acknowledgement or responses. That is ok with me.
    but it doesnt show much respect for the community. During the campaign there was a lot of rhetoric about hurting the kids if we dont pass the levy. But the contribution adjustment was one sided, and the contract negotiation also was an issue.

    As you have stated, and believe in your position, we should have passed even more of a levy amount. I understand that, I dont think many would object IF we had the funds to do this.

    The easy way to solve this and move forward would be for the district entities to simply communicate to the public what
    the PLAN is given what we are facing. And to acknowledge that even some of the points raised are a real economic issue.

    If a 3% spending limit is not doable then we in the community have done our part, BUT WHAT THEN
    IS THE ALTERNATIVE? Are we going to wait until FEB 2010 and just present a double digit levy.?

    How about a commitment for the next big expenditure that there is going to be an adjustment ?

  10. Rick, your description is not a "dialog". It was a single side making a proposal without any reply or discussion from the other.

    Most of the problems/issues we bring up here are in dire need for a true dialog. I sincerely hope for everyone's sake we can get to that point.

    At the Board Meeting last night, Hilliard's "Master Teachers" were recognized. It was a very nice recognition, and you can tell from the takeaways of the teachers from the experience, their passion and love of teaching. It showed so much of what musicman preaches of the profession.

    As per Paul's comments about caving into Union leadership, I could also not imagine any of these teachers complaining of taking a smaller raise as their part of the contribution to the betterment of our district and the students. There are greater forces at work ON BOTH SIDES that are suppressing the emotions of these participants as well as well-meaning constituents like Rick.

    I wish we can get to a higher level of dialog.

    BTW, Lisa Whiting recommended that the "Breakfast with the Board" continue (as previously promised) soon. It was agreed (can't say enthusiastically) by a few other members of the Board. Hopefully this will be an opportunity for dialog.

  11. Mark:

    It was Hillirdite not me who spoke about caving in to the union leadership. However, I don't disagree with his assessment.

    As far as creating a dialog, please accept that over the past couple of years at least, there have been folks like Rick, KJ and me who have stood before the Board, presented proposals, and been met with blank stares.

    The Breakfast with the Board can have some value for creating dialog, but a more structured conversation would be much better. For example, the way Tim Hamilton ran the redistricting effort was quite productive because we had a clear agenda, a clear process and clear goals.

    Just sitting down over coffee doesn't accomplish much, except perhaps a little face time. If anyone can talk about anything, most of which will be complaints, how does the Board effectively follow up? How does the community learn what was discussed and how the Board members responding? How do those discussions turn into policies and actions?

    I've suggested to the Board that they form a Strategic Planning team (much more important that an "Audit & Accountability Committee" in my opinion). The Strategic Planning team could form a set of critical issues (e.g. residential growth, cost drivers, revenue forecast, etc) and then the Board could hold moderated community conversations on just those issues (rather than freeform bitch sessions).

    Anyway, the same stuff keeps coming up over and over in this blog because there is a set of core issues that influences everything. The frustration is that the school leadership just doesn't seem to want to talk about these things.

  12. Marc, my apologies but I think many people have tried to open the dialogue and the communication.
    In my case it started some time ago
    but was unsuccessful and I own that.
    I tried to be upfront and took the risk to do that. I spoke to the tax shift coming 6 years ago as I have now, but as then it is viewed as something that cannot happen.

    Perhaps some new people will move forward and try to bring important challenges to the forefront.

    I think all of us are ready to pay for more levies to support our schools. Will our employee groups step forward and do the same ?

  13. Rick - if more of us had been paying attention 6 years ago we might not be in quite the mess we are now. I know that I, for one, bitched about the way things were but was never proactive in doing anything about it. Single voices tend to get lost in the noise, and that has been the
    history of things in the past. Hopefully with what Paul and Mark are putting together, we can have a united voice that can't be ignored. Given the current economy, it is the perfect time for a change.

  14. Marc said "I wish we can get to a higher level of dialog."

    Amen! And that is what I hope your group can accomplish. As Paul has pointed out to me several times.... "venting" occurs on here because people are waking up and seeing reality for the first time. And with that comes frustration and maybe even anger.

    So.... I've listened. But to be honest, a lot of the discussion on this blog has become repetitive and stale. Things happened in the past, I get that. I firmly believe we should not forget the past, but we also can't walk forward while looking behind us. To me, the time for SOLUTIONS has come. The clock started ticking the first Tuesday in November 2008. The community agreed to fund the schools; but did so with conditions. It's a 3-legged stool: Community, Teachers, Admin. The community did their part (and will continue to do so in the future if the other 2 do their part)... now it's up to the admin and HEA.

    To me it's simple. If the other 2 entitities meet their obligations, I will meet mine. However, as you all know by now I am not a socialist. And in this scenario, I'm not willing to continue to carry a disproportionate piece of the solution any longer.

    Sure, I wish I didn't have to pay taxes at all. But that's not realistic. Nor is it realistic to assume school taxes won't continue to increase. I get that. It's the RATE of increase that bothers me. Heck, I could even live with the current rate of increase if I knew all other members of the 3-legged stool were doing all they could as well.

    I truly believe we would all make additional sacrifices to pay the tax bill if we felt it were justified and the only possible solution. Americans (rather humans) will do what is reasonable, no matter what the cost. This is demonstrated during many world tragedies where we just "step up" when there is a legitimate need. Humans are also cynical beings (and rightly so many times) that moderate their support with a questioning eye.

    My point? If the community is convinced that help is needed I believe the support will come. However, without a convincing argument and supporting data, the community will become cynical and withold support until they are convince of the legitimacy of the matter.

  15. Hillerdite, I believe that a number of people including myself have tried over a period of time to address issues. Unfortunatly we have never gotten any type of positive response, if any at all. As I said , I own
    that, was not successful in trying to bring some of the future issues to the table that are now very serious current issues.

    Somehow in all of this we get the blame as individuals for "not doing enough" " having no plan " etc that has been communicated from a good number on this blog and met with silence from the district and its employee groups. The blame has been shifted to the individual taxpayer as "how could you let this happen "

    I simply see business as usual because you cannot ask questions of the district or its employees.
    They will get another free ride in
    the next levy, because we will be faced with same cuts in sports , busing, extra curriculars and as many have said " we will be hurting the kids"

    There would be real "dialogue"
    publicly going on by the district and all interested parties RIGHT now about upcoming contracts if they were very serious about change

    At some point we have to hold the district and its related entities accountable instead of allways pointing the finger back at the electorate. As individuals we dont have the huge campaign dollars to contribute as the district and its employees do to affect decision making

  16. KJ, solutions have been proposed for some time now for a number of issues by the community . Unfortuantly the outcomes have not been necessarily favorable to all students and the community

    The solutions by the district and its
    employees are to continue the same business compensation module year after year that in current economic times does not compare to what is happening in our economy. We had issues even trying to get a small
    contribution to medical, but offset by a large increase in compensation

    The solution presented to us has been business as usual. Somehow
    that is ok, but it is not ok to present adjustments that all of us are currently experiencing.