WARC-Identified-Payload-Type: application/xhtml+xml

text:
One persons Courage…

You hear about it in the news, inspirational articles, and in the whispers of people discussing someone’s life. Sometimes you hear it to your face. “You are so courageous.” I have been facing my fears lately and there has been some courage yet, most of what people tell me is courage is merely a will to live. Is the Will to Live what makes us couragous? Does this invalidate courage?

When I hear about someone being courageous, brave, or something along that line the picture in my mind is a bit gender normative and sexist. It’s a brave soldier in a black and white movie with bombs exploding behind him rescuing the little woman and running away from gunfire without breaking a sweat. I am well aware this is a very skewed image that remains in my mind. I use this image to invalidate my own experience often.

How can I be courageous? I just didn’t give up. I didn’t notice it until tonight. Giving the speech about my Thirty Seconds, I was reminded it is courageous to save a life. I found myself afraid of those words. Why fear courage? I think it is the responsibility to be something more than human that the media shows us courage is. Batman is couragous. He’s a super hero. I am just a small and broken woman at the end of her endurance trying to make it through every day.

I am trying to teach myself what courage can be, beyond the black and white John Wayne dreams. I am trying to teach myself that courage is simply living. Transgendered people who have the courage to go through the change, to live in the sex that fits their minds and not their bodies are courageous because it is their will to live. They can die for being who they are.

How terrifying it must be to have to pee in public. How terrifying it must be to go clothes shopping, to go out and feel that fear… what if someone figures out who they are and in their ridiculous hatred they attack? That is courage. It is also horribly sad that we live in a world where it is not a hate crime to attack a trans individual. I didn’t know that until recently, I thought that it was a hate crime. It should be. Living without a legal saftey net, living without basic human respect, and living without the ability to be accepted by any other minority (except for some of us who actually do care) takes courage. There are trans persons who are unable to live as they wish, because it is too dangerous.

It takes courage to live at all. It takes courage for the college student to go to her late night class, because she hears all the warnings about rape. It takes courage for the woman who was date raped to speak up, risking victim blaming and slut shaming. It takes courage for the teen mother to take pride in being a mother, bucking against the stereotypes about teen mothers. It takes courage for the disabled man to go up a flight of stairs on his hands and knees to see if his able bodied friends and family are alright after hearing a gunshot. He couldn’t escape if there was a killer. That is courage.

To revile the word courage is to revile the act of living. It takes courage for our students to go to school. We live in a world where the terror of school shootings is very real, where the hate that a disabled student feels can destroy their minds and their souls. We live in a world where there is no safe haven. It takes courage to raise a child with disabilities and to love them. It takes courage to admit that you are disabled.

It takes courage to say that you do not want to see a movie because it is full of sexism. It takes courage to be a Womanist. It takes courage to be a Feminist. It takes courage to be an advocate. It takes courage to write. It takes courage to cry. It takes courage to go out, knowing discrimination is waiting for you. It takes courage to date a person who is of another color. It takes courage to love someone who is of the same sex.

In a world as full of toxic messages, it is cowardly to defame courage. To hold the power to inspire one person is enough to change the world. To inspire countless thousands? That is a gift unparalleled. Forgive me for feeling that I was unworthy of the word courage.

I have been courageous. I am courageous to write about my time as a Victim. I am courageous to have ideas and to share them. I am courageous to start a business during a Depression.

You are courageous too. I am sure you can list ways you are courageous. I would like the comments on this post to be dedicated to your courage. What have you done that is courageous today?

Today my act of courage is to start planning the wedding ceremony for two young women in love. My acts of courage in life will include officiating their wedding ceremony. I do this with pride, and to honor their love and the courage it takes to stand up and proudly say, “I am Gay, I am Pagan, and I am in Love!”

Thank you for your life. Thank you for your courage.

I just got in from another Toastmaster’s meeting. Tomorrow I am going to lead a meeting, and I am looking forward to it. Right now however I am relaxing after two days where I pushed myself a bit too far. I took three naps today, just to make it through to the end. I do love being able to nap. I am watching one of the few reality shows I enjoy. “Make me a Supermodel.” It fills me with nostalgia, and it actually entertains me.

I used to model. Not much, but, I have experience and I like to see the real talent on this show. I know, it’s not the original but this one has somethings that are unique. Just try it if you want. This was just a great day. I woke up with both the cats snuggling me with every nap, Sprite was willing to work but I made her stay home. She wanted to be cuddled, and I couldn’t cuddle her and give a speech that is similar to the essay 30 Seconds. It wouldn’t mesh well with what I needed to feel.

The evaluator’s comments are sticking with me in a good way. I also found out that I have a super power. I have super hearing. I went to the audiologist. My moderate tones, such as where people speak, are low but still with in the normal range. The super bit comes with the high pitched sounds. I can hear things most people can’t and it hurts. It turns out I am not crazy.

The doctor and I were both surprised to find I don’t have hearing loss, that the hearing issues are mostly caused by hearing every little squeak and sound. I am not sure if this is partly due to autism or if it is a side effect of the continuous and untreated ear infections. I will get my hearing tested annually as recommended but again, another bit of delicious goodness in the fact that I can hear just right. It might feel off but, I’d rather hear too much than too little.

I am posting what feels like frivolity to me because I want there to be valleys between the dramatic writing and pain that I share with you. I want every reader to share with me the good as well as the bad. It is a basic bit of writing, and as my life progresses there is so much good. I have a man in my life who makes me happy, just by being there. I have two loving and soft animals who like to steal the covers. I have dreams. Can anything be more wonderful? I am sure it can but it is fathomless to me right now.

See you tomorrow after Toastmasters! I will post the better of the two videos, as I am giving the same speech. I hope you can enjoy the postings of my speeches.

A Time and a Place for Silence

I was trying to explain the blog to someone, and the subject of silence and abuse came up. I have seen several things, in my life that taught me that violence and abuse mean you must never talk about it. I still have trouble saying the word abuse outloud. However, this is not true. The victim’s silence often lets the abuse go on and on and on.

How dare I write these words? How dare I break the traditional silence of abuse? Do I have any idea what I am doing? Absolutely. These were not questions that my friend brought up, indeed he agrees that although there are times to be silent, this is not one of them.

Some of the hate mail I have received on this blog is unintelligible. Some of it is based in fear. Most of it is based in the need to put me in my place, to control me, to try and take away my voice and my power. I remember being told as a child, “Women are to be seen and not heard.” Not children but the female species. I too was assured by my abuser that no one would believe me. All of this horror that I faced? I thought I was alone.

That is why this is not the time or the place for silence. Silence when you are being abused is often deadly. You know those women who are beaten to death? Those rape statistics? Neither should happen. Silence lets them happen. I am sorry if this upsets you, oh wait… no I am not. The point of this blog is to set my people free.

Any person is one of my people. Skin color, intellect level, ability level, none of this matters. If you are alive, you are one of my people. I want to unlock things for you, I want to give you the life you deserve. If someone is hurting you, do not stay silent. Open your mouth, say it loud. If you are aware of abuse, or if a child comes to you and tells you they are being hurt. Believe them! It is not for you, unless you are the police, to investigate the crime. It is for you to believe the child and get them the help of the police who investigate.

Our world often teaches us that bad things only happen to bad people. Bad things can’t happen to you. This is a lie. So, I am breaking my silence to stop the lies. Silence gives your abuser power. Does this mean you have to write about your issues? Does this mean you have to open yourself up to personal attack and the sense of danger? No. It merely means you need to be honest with at least yourself, that yes, this really happened.

Not every survivor or victim of abuse can write or talk about what happened. Sometimes, those of us who can forget this and at times our words might be harsh. I am sorry for those times too.

Silence is not golden
Silence to that I am not beholden
Silence is a poison
Slowly seeping my life away
Each blow I am silent
I do not cry when it hurts
I am merely silent
Not seen
Not heard

I break the silence
It crashes loudly
I scream
I cry
I shout
I am free.
Life flows back into me.
I speak for my silent sisters
I speak for the silent children
I speak

You listen.
I speak
I sing
Let life flow out from me to thee.
Break the silence.
Break the cycle

This poem is dedicated to those who cannot yet speak out, those who never will, those who die from the silence, and those who survive, and speak up. This is dedicated to you my Sisters. My brothers. This is dedicated to the innocence lost daily. This is dedicated to even those who send me hate, fearing what I do.

This is not dedicated to those who want to take away my power. Those of you who tell me to stop writing because it is not my place? Find your own place and stick your head in it. This is my place. This is my purpose. This is my freedom.

This is not a time and a place for silence!

Beyond the Search Words

I normally name my posts before I type them out, it helps me to retain focus. Instead, I am unable to hammer out a decent title, or one free of curse words anyway. I decided, in my insomnia fit, to peruse the offerings of the internet with a few search words. Disabled and handicapped being the top two. I wanted to see what came up. I am not linking any of the blogs I found, because beyond what is already in my blogroll or private reading list (waiting for me to put it in the blogroll) disgusts me.

Ignoring the posts about disabled porn, ignoring the jokes at the expense of handicapped people I came across what appeared to be a journal of a trip by a handicapped woman. A cold and a broken leg are difficult but not disabilities, are they? The cold isn’t a disability but reasonably the leg could be a temporary disability. Not only does it effect your daily function but even after the bone heals there can be lingering damage. I still had a visceral reaction to the writing, and not in a good way.

I understand disability, and the challenges inherent in trying to maneuver in spaces that are cramped, dealing with prejudice, but writing an entire blog about how you broke your leg and that instantly makes you the most disabled person in the world is really not something I can get behind. Yes, I admit that the writer’s pain is important. However, so is their dignity.

It took me a long time to find out how to blog, because of that very thing. I did not understand the point of blogging, I did not understand that it could be done with Dignity. It was the need for dignity that lead me to posting that very first time, and each time it is the basis for my editing, rejection of some of the writing and my attempts to be open minded.

I strive for personal dignity and I work hard to not strip away the dignity of others. Reading about how cruel the world is for those with an obviously broken leg, the desire for pity instead of dignity frustrated me. So I moved on, another person was complaining about handicapped parking, and how rude it is for people who are handicapped to use it. I read about this one a lot, it sneaks up in most blogs at some point. The concept that a safe spot, with enough room to move a ramp out, your chair, and easier access to a building is beyond some people.

Moving on again, I had to do some deep breathing, refusing to let myself post cutting words to try and make them see. Attacking people, no matter how much I disagree with them is not something I want to do. That would lack grace on my part and could remove their dignity. Then, I found another post laying out another problem people seem to have with handicapped parking.

Did you know that “all handicapped drivers park crookedly, blocking me out of my car when I park near those damned cripples”? Not only is this a blanket statement making it a stereotype but, I often have to have our van pulled out, because there is rarely handicapped parking, and the cars by able bodied people are often parked just as poorly. I am not a driver, so I am not aware of how hard it is to parallel park, but with the monster chair that does not turn I cannot do it in a conference room. I perceive this act as massively difficult.

I am often tempted by magnetic signs that say “Please do not block access to this door, a ramp is contained inside and access is needed for my wheelchair”. I do not because of the local culture. It might qualify as a subculture, and yet it is dominant in my daily life. The culture towards the disabled springs from a lot of superstition and the very poor education available.

I know that the education offered to the American Children fails more and more annually, yet if you are slightly different or have any challenges you are shoved into a room and no one wants to see you. No one teaches you. I am primarily self educated, except for the teachers who actually cared enough to break into my world.

Being aware of this, and what was taught about disability in school, I know that they fear me. the ubiquitous they, in this case means the average New Mexican. The little that was taught about disability in my schooling included first, that disabled people could never function in society unless they were Franklin Delano Roosevelt, though we were taught he contracted Polio after his presidency. This is a fallacy, as I know now. Then, we were taught too, that no disabled person ever did anything of historical value. Disabled people are just evil. The contradiction in FDR’s existence never seemed to make a difference.

The superstitions continue, one of the local superstitions states that if a pregnant woman sees a horror or a disabled person, her child will be disfigured in the womb. This means if you are pregnant and stare too long at a person in a chair or even a person with a broken leg, you kill your baby. A lot of the pregnant women out here are teenagers, and a lot of the pregnant women teens and adults drink and smoke. yet the blame falls to the disabled.

The more I read tonight the more frustrated I grow. I did stop, but only to protect myself from festering rage. A cold is not a disability. Illness does not mean disability. A broken leg is a physical injury but injury does not always mean disability. Depending on the rate you heal, you might need a placard, temporarily, but that does not mean you quantifiable understand what it is to be truly disabled. Your pain is valid, do not use it to invalidate mine.

Racism and Comics

I see it everywhere now, White Privilege. Comic books are extremely guilty of demonizing women and people of color. The Golden Age of Comics, overlapping the Second World War, had a bevy of white heroes. I cannot name any non white heroes off the top of my head, and the only female for those early years is of course the example of perfection and bondage, Wonder Woman.

I picked up a title without seeing the cover, I do this often, and I thought I had picked up another chapter of the Captain Marvel series with DC comics. Instead, I had picked up the Blue Marvel with Marvel comics. This short series deals with Jim Crow laws, racism, and the fears of white people. It does not justify for them, and although there are serious flaws, denials of privilege are actually addressed.

The Legend of the Blue Marvel introduces a super hero who uses Anti-Matter as the base of his power source, he is shadowed with a white man who was his friend, and becomes insane after gaining the same power, he wants equality so badly and cannot handle or cope with the challenges he sees his friend face. He decides genocide is the answer.

Genocide and Eugenics are a common theme in Marvel comics, the Xmen race allegory is even used just as that, with a pointed tip stabbing into the reader’s mind. The art is also beautiful. The Demonization of characters is given with an almost heavy hand to the white people, yet only as much as was with in the realm of reality. The Government commits shadowy acts, crimes against the Blue Marvel, out of fear of his skin color.

The comic spans time from the Sixties up until our current time, it references cultural change, and leaves a gaping awareness too in the change that is still needed. I was surprised with this title, and finished the five chapter series rapidly. The ending too leaves room for the Blue Marvel to either obtain his own Book or to return.

Rarely are guest characters in comics so well rounded, so human, and yet so superbly granted power. The most powerful man in the Marvel Verse is a man who was not born white. I see this as a huge change. Comic books are almost 100 years old, and although they have been wonderful additions to my life courtesy of my Sensei, there has been a lack in them.

I noticed it as a child, and even asked my Sensei why the men who looked kind of like him were always scary in the stories. He explained to me the concept of hate in a new way. “Sometimes, Little Lotus, people are afraid of difference. Difference is not bad, and hating it is. You must fight against being taught that I am bad because my eyes do not appear the same as yours. The world is a very bad place, but it is harder for those not born with white skin.”

Years later, I still grapple with the concepts that he taught me. I found out his name today. My mother was hospitalized for Pnumonia, and she will be fine, but going to visit her we began to talk. None of the topics were light, however, I learned that my Sensei’s name was Ben Chang. A part of me mourns that his name is Americanized, yet, I also understand the quest for acceptance in a country that is boiling with racism.

Comic books, just as the real world, have a long way to go. Change always needed, yet, now they are trying. The writers of The Blue Marvel Miniseries, Kevin Grevioux, has written many things I have read. I enjoyed Underworld, which too inspected race relations. He is an actor, and has even worked as a stunt man. I would expect that his personal relationship with prejudice, something he was born into by not being given white privilege, has inspired some of his amazing writing.

I am not certain how old the comic is, my copy has no dates on it, but it is also altered to help me surmount my visual disability. I will write more about that soon. Find a copy. I hope that the people at Marvel Comics put this out as a Trade Paperback soon. This creation is one of the best that has come under their umbrella since the inception of the company. Who knows, maybe they will  steal some of my loyalty from DC if they keep learning, educating, and of course the undeniable quality.

Medicalization of Humanity

I have spent my life being a patient. Most people do to an extent but a lot of non disabled people do not wind up in a doctor’s office monthly. Those that do are usually seeing a psychologist. I have been talking to my biological mother again, because she needs my help. In exchange for helping her with training her dog to be a Service Dog I asked for payment in therapy. Not literally, but, figuratively.

I think she was startled but, I am wounded emotionally. I am so angry at her, and I need to forgive her. I can’t do that without working out some of the issues and I want a mother. Some of the things that have angered me include over medicalization of my emotions. Being human has never been an option for me, despite the obvious inability to escape it.

From reading my blog you know already I have a history of abuse and chronic illness. You might have also noted an undercurrent of loathing for labels, though I am working to embrace mine. Some labels cannot be avoided. After becoming an adult I went and paid for a psychoanalyst to evaluate me. I wanted to know if, without my mother’s influencing them with her fears, I was really as insane as everyone told me.

I did this because I didn’t feel crazy. I felt depressed, but, not crazy. I did not think I was becoming a sociopath like my father. I put effort into fighting that, and won. What I did, to help prevent influence in this doctor’s office by my past was withhold information. It took several calls to find a doctor willing to work with zero patient history, but, the woman who did the test with me understood my need to find the truth.

In my childhood I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, Depression, and a slew of other labels that never quite fit, including Multiple Personality Disorder. Most of these get renamed with each DSM, and with number V coming out (I don’t know my roman numerals and I am not looking up the translation, it is either four or five), I am again feeling pensive.

Part of it is the sudden ability to cry. For the first 23 and a half years of my life I could not cry without bleeding. I cannot seem to suppress my tears anymore. Again, some of this is because of effort though the effort sends me receding into myself at times. With that test, I was freed from the stigma of most of the labels I had received.

Those that stuck are depression, lower case because it is something that is perfectly natural considering my family history and personal history. It also is not something I will ever treat with pills again. Another is obsessive compulsive disorder. I need the world to be in order, and this comes from my past. Anything out of place could cause a beating. My disability has helped me with this. I cannot order the world, and I am healing because of it. I had no way of cleaning my room for years, it was horrible.

The test also helped hint at something else, I am Autistic. I have Aspergers. I haven’t told many people, just my Person and my mother. Now the world knows. I feared the Stigma of Autism. My best friend (All my friends are my best friends) Maxis is autistic and helped me to realize that my Autism just lets me be me. It has made things more difficult in some ways but I have adapted, and am extremely high functioning and no one can tell. My labels are not readily visible.

I also am an adult with Attention Deficit Disorder. I adapted as a child, after taking Ritalin. The Ritalin made what turns out to be a side effect of the autism, my extreme sound sensitivity, worse. I couldn’t stop screaming, all my pain was there, and of course I turned out to be allergic to it. My mother pulled me off of the drug despite my institutionalization. I recollect hearing her voice through a closed door, I was curled up in a corner in the Time Out room, being punished for not brushing my hair. My mother had come to visit and I had cried telling her how loud everything was, and hearing her tell the staff off for drugging me was the best sound out of all of them.

I am still sound sensitive. I can hear the sounds most people tune out. When a computer is turned on, each second I hear the scraping of the needle in the hard drive. it is deafening. I have five running right now, and have adapted to the cacophony of my world by adding more stimulus. I have yet to find true silence, even with a power outage but that is the best peace ever. Still, having mental distractions helps me cope.

I find it a bit ironic that being nearly deaf in one ear has not decreased my ability to be overstimulated by sound. Overloading is so far what works best. The great part about hearing everything is hearing my cats purr, when no one else can. Sometimes that sound is the best in the world. My nerves have always been just as sensitive, my skin feels too much and that can cause even the touch of William’s paw to have me crying out.

Still, in my life more damage has been done by mental health practitioners. I have been supposed to find a therapist for almost a year. First, I used the excuse of insurance, which did not cover without a copay. Then when that was fixed, I used the excuse of truth. I do not want a Therapist. I really hate them, and do not trust them. I am aware of my need now, to find one. I need someone to work with, so that I can help myself and my mother.

I remember my first Therapist. Her name was Candy, and my father upon finding this out asked if my Mother was taking us to see a stripper. He thought it was funny, I thought it meant that the doctor tore up paper. Instead, she told my mother that she could change my father. She told me and my sister, we all shared the sessions, how women must learn to cook and my bruises and burns, were just the signs that I was going to be a great wife.

I never believed her. My sister did, and when I told her at night that I thought that Candy was insane, she told me that she is a doctor, so therefore I must be wrong. I kept it to myself but at the age of four I just told her things I thought she wanted to hear. My father was sent to a mental hospital after attacking a man, or something like that a year later, and my mother did not let him back in, despite Candy telling her we would all go to hell. I think the woman let her religious tenancies effect her job.

The next therapist I saw was the one who had me put on my first Antidepressant. I was almost eight, and Doctor Baca decided I was depressed. Likely he was right but he never let me address why. He wasn’t a listener but talked about how I needed to try harder in school, how I needed to bathe more, how I needed to do things to be popular. If I got a word in edgewise he used it to shame me. I had begun to develop breasts, and upon relating the nickname I had at school, because my bra broke in Phys Ed, he agreed. I was slut shamed. The Nickname is not related here as it reveals the name that I have shed, but it contained the word whore.

The list of bad therapists goes on and on. No person is perfect but even the best amid them just wanted to label me. Many tried dangerous tactics and all of them post Doctor Baca insisted on medications. I took so many pills, and many had adverse effects including causing me to gain 100lbs in a month, but, the pills were more important than the girl. Each doctor took any crying as a sign not of emotional release but of depression. If I was happy at all it was a manic, if I was angry it meant I was psychotic. I lost touch with emotion itself.

My response was to try and kill myself, though, I couldn’t figure out how and asked my mother to help. The first time wasn’t the cause of my institutionalization, though the threat was leveled. I just didn’t comprehend it. The suicidal ideation passed and yet my brain warred to follow the rules that were leveled at it. My needs were far from met, and my Autism being undiagnosed meant I had no help. I was adrift, and lost.

The worst weekend of my childhood came then. I was beaten to the point of nearly dying, and denied medical treatment. There is much more to that story but it will not be blogged about, my fear of being attacked over it is too strong. My entire life was changed at that moment however. That is the hinge of life for me. That too, is when my personality changed the first time. The direct result of head trauma. That is the weekend where the first breaks in my back were had, my Xrays showing as an adult that when I was about eight I had four vertebrae break in my back, two in my neck. They healed well enough thankfully but I was in agony, I was alone, and I knew that I should not trust anyone ever again.

I was also threatened with food. My father had decided I was fat. I wasn’t yet, I was perfectly healthy, but he decided I should stop eating. He also instructed me to cut myself, though I did not manage that one. I did manage the eating disorder. He had told me too, if I did eat he would know and would beat my mother to death. I had to protect her. She always has needed my protection. So I gave up food. It was not hard, due to the pain.

Pain is the best appetite suppressant I know of. It kills the urge to eat in me, and is the reason for many people becoming malnourished with access to food. I lied to my mother the first few days and told her I wasn’t hungry, but, then she told me my refusal to eat hurt her. If I didn’t eat she’d surely die. Catch 22. No matter my choice she would die. I decided to eat, then, I would just throw up after dinner. Then my “daddy” couldn’t kill her and she wouldn’t know so she wouldn’t die.

This worked for a while, and my stomach stopped hurting and my skin even healed from some of it’s symptoms of allergy. I was however, bulimic by the diagnostic standard. No one asked why I was bulimic at the tender age of eight. My family didn’t figure it out very quickly, but, eventually they did. I am sure I had a decline in health. My memory was very foggy, and I had begun to have bursts of rage. Perhaps this came from the head injury, the painful seizures that I had started to have, hiding everything, or the burden of the household falling to an eight year old girl. It could even be the bulimia, the overdosing of drugs by my doctors, or, all of the untreated genetic ailments.

My stepfather had begun molesting my older sister, he was too afraid of me to hurt me, so I shaved my head. We discovered then how misshapen my skull is. My skin had begun to split on my breasts, and I thought if I was a boy then I would always be safe. I was of course unaware of the stigmas that were to come, but, I thought being male would make it all better. So, I tried to cut my breasts off. I failed, and for that I am grateful now. I am not sure what the therapists told my mother about all of this, but, from my perspective no one took into account that something might be wrong physically or that the abuse took a toll.

I was taken to a hospital, dumped off, and my mind and body were invaded. I do not know why these doctors thought a physical examination was necessary my first night there, but, they gave me a complete physical, including a pap smear. There was no explanation, but, I lashed out. My first night there was spent in the padded room of solitary confinement.

Diagnosis were tossed at me like darts at a board, seeing if one could fit close enough. Most of the girls there were suicidal, all of them had been molested or raped. Each of them had been battered, and all of the children were in pain. The staff were not all kind. One of the male staff would hit me, but I never said a word. He told me if I did, he’d see to it that I did not get to see my mother ever again.

My hair is also complex. Only half of it is curly, and this is all in the under hair. I had to bathe twice a day there to pass their cleanliness challenge, because of the Hidradenitis Suppertiva causing excessive sweat. I was allergic to the shampoo and cried each time I bathed. They gave me more antidepressants.

I mentioned once, how much my body hurt to the doctors there. I was quickly learning though, that all they wanted was for me to suddenly become a normal child. I wasn’t sure what that meant but noted what the children who got to go home endured. They could not yell, they could not scream, they ate every meal but not seconds, and they were nice all the time, if the adults were looking. I began to master the system. This meant no crying, so I got even better at being a machine. I let my world fall into their system of order.

I did go home, but, I couldn’t keep up the act of perfection. So, the cycle hit over and over again. I still couldn’t eat but was gaining weight. I was shamed for it. I was stuck then in either my mother’s clothes or sweat pants. Time passed and I was a teenager. My first period came on the eve of another hospitalization. I thought I was dying. The inability for people to discuss this function without clinical talk or shame had cost me knowing that this was going to happen. It didn’t help that my mother had told me all about how evil my Uncle Verne is. Verne is a rapist, a pedophile, and of course he would surely be out to get my mother’s children.

She had me stay with my grandmother while she made arrangements to have her crazy and devalued daughter locked away. My uncle called. Grandma had left me alone, despite my mother’s very valid fear that I would kill myself. I was considering it staring into her medicine cabinet when the phone rang. This was before caller ID hit that small town. I thought it was my mother. I thought maybe she had realized that the kids at school were mean, my hands hurt, and so did my stomach and I just couldn’t live like that. It was a strange voice. His voice was raspy, cold, and hearing me he sounded suddenly excited. I talked with him for a while, until I realized who he was. We didn’t trade names but when he called me by mine, I asked if he was my uncle.

There it was again, that duality, I was told by my mother that upon pain being dealt my way, I must never be rude on the phone. I was also told I must never let my uncle know where we were, who we were or to hurt me. I was terrified. Then, I felt warmth running down my legs. I remember what I said, “I am sorry Mr. Uncle Verne, I have to go now. I will tell my Grandma you called.” I hung up and went and sat in the tub crying because I was bleeding.

I thought that I was going to die, which, saved me from my suicidal thoughts. It was partly there because so often I was asked if I wanted to die. The idea wasn’t original to me, though I may have wound up having it anyway. I am not blaming the doctors, as without them I still would have died, I am merely questioning their methods. For every emotion there was a label, a drug, and a punishment.

For my fear of my period I was told I was a misogynist. I hadn’t even known what that was, but, upon being told I hate women, I thought it apt. At that time I wasn’t aware that self hatred is not the same, and the over labeling and medicalization was helping me to dehumanize. I was instead a child trying to make people love me. At this time my memories of my Sensei had been suppressed, and yet the mark of them remained, I was subconsciously seeking that same love.

The rest if my timeline, up until the Ranch, mentioned in earlier posts, is a blur, a mix of self hatred, cruelty, and a few bright moments when I went off the medication without telling people. Not all of my memories were destroyed by the meds, and the medicine did help me learn to control my flashbacks. I was so lonely however, unable to make contact with myself, isolated, and then something amazing happened. My freshman year of Highschool, I became the Valentines Princess. In my school this was on par with the popularity contests of Home Coming Queen or Princess and Prom Queen. My classmates elected me, and openly made this truth known, because of the simple fact that the most popular girl in school was pregnant and did not know who the father was. The pregnancy was not the issue, many other girls were pregnant too, it was the culture of this town. If you were not sexually active you were not acceptable. It was that she had cheated. Perhaps it was a form of slut shaming, but I was only aware of the fact that I had won. I had been chosen to represent the beauty of my class, a symbol of the perfection of love.

These memories are so crisp, as is the memory of my sudden happiness ending, realizing I had to tell my mother that I had won and needed a dress. There was no way I could take the title. I went to tell the coordinator, another student in my class and she found me first. She had already talked to the other wealthy students, and they were going to pool their allowances to buy me a dress, a trip to the salon to style my hair and they were going to have my hair done. They also were going to give me a free ticket to the Dance. At this point, my mother had left my Step Father, and money was so tight we could barely afford food. When I told her however, I expected anger and was given joy. She was happy for me.

We went through the rituals of beauty, I even shaved my legs, ignoring the pain that caused. We had my hair done, and, when I walked out with my Tiara in place, taking the arm of the boy I thought was the most handsome in school, ignoring his displeasure at being my escort, I stared out at the people in my school and was given a moment of joy. No one booed. I had expected that, after all every day I was on the outside. I kept the roses the principle bought each of the Valentines Court members for years, only shedding them when I no longer needed the reminder of my value, for I am worth more than roses and a popularity contest.

When I told my therapist about the feelings I had had, he told me I was becoming a narcissist. He berated me for every single feeling, and I went back on the meds. I was so certain he was right, and that my mother was too. The messages given to me during these visits to the psychologist were all so negative. Tomorrow I am calling and making appointments again. I am an adult now, perhaps, this will free me from some of the pain I feel. Perhaps I will find one who is willing to work with me on how to emotionally survive my physical pain. If I am offered medication my first visit, I will not return to that doctor.

I am still fighting for my humanity. I grew up meeting and failing expectations, never making my own. I am an adult now, and my own expectations are met. Yet when I cry, even at the end of a sad movie, I question, evaluate, and judge myself. My crying is the hardest, it is the most difficult for me to allow. I have come to embrace Happiness, anger, jealousy, but sorrow is the biggest terror. Even in the media we face the words of stigma. Pharmaceutical companies, doctors ignoring the validity of emotion, deranged fathers, and depressed mothers (Feel free to rearrange, relabel, or adjust these two for your own needs) all collude against humanity.

This is not the only way that people are dehumanized just one example of it. There is something in the air, something in the water, or perhaps just a tradition diluted with time that has caused dehumanization to become far too common. Civil Rights are torn away from people based on their supposed inhumanity, the disabled are not granted access because we surely aren’t human. I tried so very hard to shed my humanity, yet without it I cannot sing, I cannot write, and I cannot breathe.

I am afraid of psychologists. What if they refuse to not try and force me to take drugs? What if it turns out in the future I was wrong and needed the antidepressants? The consequences of these choices are the real fear. I fear too, that my next psychologist will refuse to see my pain as real. The wheelchair is not enough for some people, or it is too much. I will be writing a how to article on shopping for psychologists, after I am done, detailing my method. I will share it here.

The Doom Ship

Not everyone gets to ride the Doomship. I ride, others ride, and yet I often take it for granted. What is the Doomship you ask? The Doomship is the Ship of Life, riding towards the birthday of Death. It sounds horribly dramatic and is.

Children born with serious illness are often told, “You won’t live to be 21,” Or something similar. I have a list of birthdays that have passed, my next is another Doom Birthday. When I broke my back, and it was first diagnosed I had a series of doctors tell me that my organs would fail by 25. My birthday isn’t for a few months, I was reading blogs off of the Disabled Blog Carnival and started reading Temporarily Disabled. Not only is this a great read, though with each post I tend to cry just a little for the child who was aching and the pain she has been through. She turned 26 and posted about the Doomship, sailing past into the great unknown.

With Doomship Birthdays past, it is like looking at a precipice of great unknown. I know I am going to live past 25. I am confident only due to surviving so long. These waters are familiar. I am pensive too, due to my Annual Cancer Scare. I get one a year. This time it is my reproductive system. I had my annual blood work done and my white count is high. My pap came back with abnormal cells. We’re redoing them both to verify before any panicking is done.

I waited three years before getting a pap, because no doctor would accommodate my need to not be in their perfect position, or to even help me balance on the table. I can’t do it myself. I need someone else to help heft my carcass around. I know if I do have cancer I won’t die. I will just get over it. My doctor is more worried than I am.

Right now I am surrounded by everything I have ever wanted. Not the things like the toys I never had, but the love I most desired. On my right I have Sprite, the service cat, curled up and purring against my back. She is helping me to not spasm so I can type the words out. My body is rebelling. I have on my left William drooling into my shirt, and every so often poking the keyboard with a paw to see what is so fascinating. He sleeps, then paws then sleeps a bit more.

In the other room my Person is puttering around, doing the dishes after making a meal of my choice. I had spaghetti with sausage meatballs. I haven’t had meatballs in a long time, but he made them for me, tolerating my lewd jokes. My home is clean, my bed is comfortable. My friends and family are far enough away and close enough at the same time. I even have high speed internet to keep me amused on those days when movement is unacceptable.

The Doomship sails on, the waves splash, the thunder crashes, and my life flashes before my eyes, but, it is the life I am living that I am proud of. Not the memories, not the past. It is my future that holds me in it’s sway. I reach for it, sitting in the prow, praying to my gods, listening to the world, and taking part in changing it.

I write something every day, and each time it is self discovery. I discovered I can write non fiction. I never knew I could. I know the mechanics of writing are sound, as I sell fiction periodically, and write it almost daily. It is merely the fear of my life that has held me back. I feared upsetting those with the power over my life and death. I am now the Captain of my Doomship. I mutinied.

So, as I rest, my ship swaying, I look out and see that everyone else is in a Doomship too, they just do not know it. They do not prepare, they do not adapt. They aren’t aware that they have to. Red sky in morning sailor take warning, the storm is coming and the night is humming… wait not for the red sky at night, for on the Doomship there is no Sailor’s Delight.

  • Polls

  • Ye Olde Archives of Fury

  • Top Rated

  • Top Clicks

    • None


Content-Type: application/http; msgtype=response

WARC-Identified-Payload-Type: text/html

WARC-Type: response

text:
Montes Hercynii

From The Moon
Jump to: navigation, search

Montes Hercynii

(discontinued IAU name; formerly Hercynian Mts)

Lat: 23.9°N, Long: 79.5°W, Diam: 145 km, Depth: , Rükl: 17

external image normal_Montes_Hercynii_LO-IV-182H_LTVT.JPG
LO-IV-182H This name apparently was applied to the west wall of Struve, the 164-km diameter crater that occupies the right half of this image. The smooth-floored crater partially visible along the top edge is 19-km Russell B, and the relatively low arc in the extreme lower left corner is the northeast rim of 62-km Balboa B. The name Montes Hercynii appears to have embraced at least the central part of the "range" extending between these points; but its exact limits are unclear.

LPOD Photo Gallery Lunar Orbiter Images

(LAC zone 37C1) LTM map (version 1), LTM Map (version 2), USGS Digital Atlas PDF (see Struve)

Description: Elger

(IAU Directions) Hercynian Mountains, on the north-west limb, west of the walled plain Otto Struve. These are too near the edge to be well observed, but, from what can be seen of them, they appear to abound in lofty peaks, and to bear more resemblance to a terrestrial chain than any which have yet been referred to.

Additional Information

  • The position and "diameter" given in the title line refer to the central part of the "range" shown in the Lunar Orbiter image. The original name may well have been intended to include the broad peaks at the top and bottom of the frame, in which case the center would be moved about 1 deg to the east, and the diameter increased to about 185 km.

LPOD Articles

warcinfo:
isPartOf: CC-MAIN-2020-10
publisher: Common Crawl
description: Wide crawl of the web for February 2020
operator: Common Crawl Admin (info@commoncrawl.org)
hostname: ip-10-67-67-123.ec2.internal
software: Apache Nutch 1.16 (modified, https://github.com/commoncrawl/nutch/)
robots: checked via crawler-commons 1.1-SNAPSHOT (https://github.com/crawler-commons/crawler-commons)
format: WARC File Format 1.1
conformsTo: http://iipc.github.io/warc-specifications/specifications/warc-format/warc-1.1/


text:
Rooftop Solar PV Market expected to reach $91,180 million by 2026 growing at a CAGR of 12.2% | Sharp Corporation, Trina Solar Ltd, Kyocera Corporation, JA Solar, Yingli Solar, Canadian Solar

Press Release

The report on “Rooftop Solar PV Market” will help Major Players and the new entrants to understand scrutinize the market in detail. This information will encourage the Major Players to decide their business strategy and achieve proposed business aims.

Global Rooftop Solar PV market is accounted for $32,259 million in 2017 and is expected to reach $91,180 million by 2026 growing at a CAGR of 12.2% during the forecast period. Actively promoting the usage of rooftop solar PV in the residential, rise in demand for renewable energy and the electricity generation are the key driving factors for the market growth. However, insufficient grid capacity creates hurdles in setting up new plants acts as a major restraint for the market growth. Moreover, increasing investment by major players provides ample opportunities for market growth.

Rooftop solar photovoltaic (PV) installation is basically an electrical installation that changes solar energy into electrical energy. The rooftop solar photovoltaic (PV) systems are much smaller in size and are majorly installed on the rooftop of commercial and residential buildings. Rooftop solar PV systems are basically the circulated power generation systems, which assist to meet buildings energy requirements by producing electrical energy within an active distribution network.

Top Companies Covered in this Report:
Sharp Corporation, Trina Solar Ltd, Kyocera Corporation, JA Solar, Yingli Solar, Canadian Solar Inc., Sungevity, Tesla, Vikram Solar, Jinko Solar, SunPower Corporation, Sunshot Technologies, RelyOn Solar Pvt Ltd, Pristine Sun, Solimpeks

Get sample copy of “Rooftop Solar PV Market” at:

The “Global Rooftop Solar PV Market” is a specialized and in-depth study of the automotive and transportation industry with a special focus on the global market trend analysis. The report aims to provide an overview of Rooftop Solar PV market with detailed market segmentation by mounting location, vehicle type and geography. The global Rooftop Solar PV market is expected to witness high growth during the forecast period. The report provides key statistics on the market status of the leading Rooftop Solar PV market players and offers key trends and opportunities in the market.

The report provides a detailed overview of the industry including both qualitative and quantitative information. It provides an overview and forecast of the global Rooftop Solar PV market based on various segments.

The report analyzes factors affecting Rooftop Solar PV market from both demand and supply side and further evaluates market dynamics effecting the market during the forecast period i.e., drivers, restraints, opportunities, and future trend. The report also provides exhaustive PEST analysis for all five regions namely; North America, Europe, APAC, MEA and South & Central America after evaluating political, economic, social and technological factors effecting the Rooftop Solar PV market in these regions.

Have any query? Enquire about report at:

Fundamentals of Table of Content:

1 Report Overview
1.1 Study Scope
1.2 Key Market Segments
1.3 Players Covered
1.4 Market Analysis by Type
1.5 Market by Application
1.6 Study Objectives
1.7 Years Considered

2 Global Growth Trends
2.1 Rooftop Solar PV Market Size
2.2 Rooftop Solar PV Growth Trends by Regions
2.3 Industry Trends

3 Market Share by Key Players
3.1 Rooftop Solar PV Market Size by Manufacturers
3.2 Rooftop Solar PV Key Players Head office and Area Served
3.3 Key Players Rooftop Solar PV Product/Solution/Service
3.4 Date of Enter into Rooftop Solar PV Market
3.5 Mergers & Acquisitions, Expansion Plans

4 Breakdown Data by Product
4.1 Global Rooftop Solar PV Sales by Product
4.2 Global Rooftop Solar PV Revenue by Product
4.3 Rooftop Solar PV Price by Product

5 Breakdown Data by End User
5.1 Overview
5.2 Global Rooftop Solar PV Breakdown Data by End User

Get Complete Report at:

Contact Us:
Call: +912067274191
Email: [email protected]

About Premiummarketinsights: is a one stop shop of market research reports and solutions to various companies across the globe. We help our clients in their decision support system by helping them choose most relevant and cost effective research reports and solutions from various publishers. We provide best in class customer service and our customer support team is always available to help you on your research queries.

This post was originally published on Analytics News


text:
Top Hits

Shop By Category

Shop by Collection

Crystal Skull Shot Glass (350ML)

Unique Barware Gift

Customer Reviews

reviewer avatar

ol****@gmail.comNov 29 2017, 3:55 pm

It was certainly better than I expected. I just didn't get the topper for it which is why I gave it 4 stars but other than that it was very nice and it was a gift so my friend was very pleased with it :)

Your rating

Upload Review Images (less than 3)

Drop files or click here to upload

* Your review will be available after our verification. (1 - 2 days)

back to top


text:
Top Hits

Shop By Category

Shop by Collection

Sale 🎁 15% Off w/ Code 2020FUN

Brushstroke Lotus Leaf Plate

Artistic Design

This distinctive plate features graphic, unique gold brushstrokes on pure black ceramic. The unique matte finish is at the same time rustic and contemporary, making it a perfect choice for restaurants and home use.

  • Available in three sizes
  • Japanese style plate
  • A wonderful housewarming gift
  • Package list: 1* Brushstroke Lotus Leaf Plate

+Free US shipping. Free standard shipping to Contiguous United States for registered members.

Questions? Email us or call us at 415-255-5839

Sold by

store avatar

Venus Deco

Discover Unique and Fun Gifts!

Product Details

Related Products

about apollo box

At Apollo Box, we believe that unique gifts = unique living. We want to help you discover, collect, and share the world’s most creative gifts. We search all over the globe for small vendors with big ideas and one-of-a-kind products, and partner with them to bring you the most unique home décor gifts, DIY gifts, jewelry, gadgets and more. Whether you’re searching for gifts for mom, gifts for dad, or a gift for your BFF, we’ve got it all. So take a step out of the ordinary, create the extraordinary and give unique gifts.

back to top <>


text:
Death Hags: "Be Who You Are"

Its articulate layers wondrously arranged in negative spaces, “Be Who You Are” is the narcotic and blissful brand-new single from L.A.’s Death Hags. The track is taken from Big Grey Sun #1, the first installment of her ongoing seven-volume multi-media project, one “centered around the idea of a post-human utopia.” Officially out from January 24th, you can buy cassette, CD and digital versions of it from her Bandcamp page right now.

Death Hags: “Electrochemical Communication”

Photo by Danielle Petrosa

Born in France and now living in Los Angeles, Lola Jean is the enigmatic creative force behind Death Hags, and “Electrochemical Communication” is a future transmission carefully decoded and shared in secret. The gripping track was just self-released. You can download it now by visiting her Bandcamp page, and you can listen to it and more on Soundcloud as well.


text:
The Bankwatch

Tracking the consumer evolution of financial services

Identity – how can you prove you are you?

Identity is an interesting subject. How can you prove you are you?

This is something that was a compulsive topic in the late 90’s but died down after the assumed solution of PKI was understood as too hard to implement.

Recently a colleague re-opened the topic. It was noted that Dave Birch has been on about identity recently too through his exploration of how Government mandated free provision of API services to be delivered by UK banks resulted in alternative business model thinking.

Dave has some interesting ideas particularly in the area of “attribute verification” whereby Banks could provide positive attribution to third parties on customers identity, creditability, positive bank account experience etc.

I took some time to reflect on what the Canadian Government have been saying. It is hard to keep up because the pace is so slow, but in 2009 they produced

Federating Identity Management in the Government of Canada: A Backgrounder

Since that time the activities of SecureKey have dominated the discussion although they have largely moved south in their predominant efforts as witnessed by their home page featuring the US Congress building.

The focus in Canada has been on the limited space of identity in respect to Government of Canada and Provincial services.

This is very clear from this GoC page on Cyber Authentication.

All this to say that the UK government is particularly pro-active in this area with pressure on the banks, and the Canadian government is not. Directionally this probably arose from the particularly weak position that the UK Banks were in post 2007 vs the strong position that Canadian Banks found themselves at that time and despite the underlying risk merely being shifted off balance sheet.

Identity management services as a business model in Canada is up for grabs it would appear.

Written by Colin Henderson

April 5, 2015 at 23:35

Posted in Uncategorized

%d bloggers like this:


text:
The Bankwatch

Tracking the consumer evolution of financial services

Posts Tagged ‘risk management

Thoughts on p2p lending, risks and the future of the industry

In times of business renewal and especially following times of crisis it becomes easy to develop simple homely answers to problems. Mark Gimien falls into two traps, namely, coming up with a simple explanation that summarises a diverse set of peer-to-peer lending players, and that of a few simplistic anecdotes designed to explain a complex situation.

Person-to-person lending is much riskier than you’ve been told | The Big Money – Slate

Her credit rating is not bad. But then you lean back in your chair and wonder, “Wait a second! Why in heaven’s name would someone pay me this kind of money to take a loan to repay her other debts?” You might wonder what the heck the interest rate is on those loans, and how she could possibly be reducing her costs this way. You might even wonder—actually, it would be your job to wonder—if there’s something fishy going on here.

It is hard to know where to begin when a coffee shop answer is provided to answer something that is potentially game changing. The peer-to-peer lending model to date has two definitive characteristics.

  1. evolution: what peer-to-peer lending is now, bears little resemblance to that which first sprouted roots in 2005
  2. governance: peer-to-peer lending now falls within the gamut of securities regulation, with the overviews, sophistication and some might argue dilution of the original model

These two components of the peer-to-peer lending history are important, and worth reflecting on:

The original vision for peer-to-peer lending was formed at a time when internet models were evolving from web sites to social interactions. The notion of wisdom of crowds and the ability of a larger group to prepare better decisions than discrete individuals was prevalent. Prosper to their credit took that vision literally and applied it to peer-to-peer lending. Zopa and later Lending Club took a more traditional personal lending approach when implementing their model. The spectrum of peer-to-peer lending has evolved from those early days over a five year period, to one with clearly defined risk management principles in place, and generally one, based on solid borrowers with good credit.

Next there are the unexplored aspects of peer-to-peer lending and Wiseclerk does a good job [For Debate: Can Data from Social Networks be Used to Reduce Risks in P2P Lending?] at considering some of those aspects.

The core of the evolution however is the shift to refinement of risk categorisation that ought to offer consistent risk and return. It will never mean no losses – lending always involves default rates. The issue lies in the predictability of those rates. It will mean that as scale and volume develop on peer-to-peer lending platforms, risk categories and their associated default rates will trend towards normalization and consistency.

The evolution above is occurring and will continue based on self preservation of peer-to-peer lending financial service operators. The thing that will prevent jumpstart operators from appearing and getting outside normal risk decision management is good governance. Banks and brokerages are not left to their own devices in development of governance and when peoples money is at stake, neither should peer-to-peer lending operators.

The securities regimes in US and Canada have taken the lead on regulation and governance of peer-to-peer lending based on the premise of debt offering representing a security. That regulatory approach may shift based on recent developments in the US Congress, but in any event, regulation will be there to ensure peer-to-peer lending operators remain within acceptable parameters that protect investors. That protection is based not on loss avoidance but on appreciation of risk, and both willingness and ability to withstand loss. The degree of loss will be defined by the characteristics outlined in the evolution section prior.

Its too easy to raise the matter of the recent economic crisis. The characteristics of evolution and governance mentioned are systemic and will remain through thick and thin. Economic crisis merely increase unemployment, decrease business growth and the result is increases in default rates. That increase is broad based and not related to the matters of risk management and governance. In fact by definition, good governance says that investors understood the risks, and while they dislike increased losses, are able to see beyond that.

Banks have serious issues as recognised by the same Mark here. Personal lending as old as the hills. In fact Banks are relatively new to personal lending, having become involved only on a large scale during the last 40 years. To suggest that a newer model for lending that happens to be called peer-to-peer lending, and that removes many middleman costs, thus improving rates for borrowers and lenders alike notwithstanding being closer and closer to being based on traditional back to basic banking principles, is not a bad thing and a step back to basics. A little simplicity cannot be a bad thing after what we have witnessed in the fallout since 2008.

Written by Colin Henderson

January 20, 2010 at 21:46

The Canadian bank model secret? | risk aversion

The general theme that the ‘Canadian Bank model’ is superior has constantly intrigued me, having been personally involved there.

Size and Diversification: They are smaller and less diversified, so some risk mitigation appears there. This is probably the biggest reason.

Number: There are only five of them, of any consequence, so a couple of regulators can do a lot of supervision there.

Loan restriction: there is a restriction on loan participation relative to capital.

Purdy Crawford/ Pan Canadian Investments: The Canadian government did presciently freeze $35 billion in derivatives back in 2007.

But no … in aggregate there is no enormous winning theme, or singular secret in Canada.  In typical Canadian form its the softly softly approach, and David Olive in todays Star sums it up nicely with this quote below.

They are just plain old fashioned ‘risk averse’ supplemented by being too small (asset size is whats important here, not market cap) to take part in large scale international risky investments.

Obama eyes Canada as bank model | The Star

As a result of their largely shunning the purchase of multimillion-dollar packages of U.S. junk mortgages, Canadian banks have earned international acclaim for their continued sound condition. But that had nothing to do with the Canadian banks’ size or diversity of functions, and everything to do with prudent risk decisions and scrupulous regulatory supervision.

Written by Colin Henderson

May 4, 2009 at 16:00

New thinking for Risk Management | Deloitte

Risk management has come under the microscope of late, and clearly new thinking is required.  Recently Andrew Haldane of the Bank of England reflected to the weeks and months that it took to work “stress test” models within banks and how that is clearly unacceptable.  He described stress testing as being less “regulatory arbitrage” and more “regulatory camouflage”. (my post summarising Haldane)  (Haldane – BofE pdf)

The Deloitte Center for Banking Solutions has a new report out that focusses on providing for an integrated approach across the enterprise.

Integrated Compliance and Risk Management Rethinking the approach

Unprecedented market turmoil in the industry has compelled financial institutions to rethink their existing compliance and risk management programs, many of which have failed to keep pace with evolving levels of risk. As a result, financial institutions are taking a critical look at how they manage compliance and risk to gain a better understanding of how their institution is impacted by the dynamic risk environment of a global financial community.

I think this is a great start.  The thinking will need to then focus on the methodology that will accommodate the other factors that Haldane spoke of, ie, disaster myopia, network externalities, and misaligned incentives.  These are important because current risk models do not adequately address those factors for most organisations.  This gets into the methodology that will have greater chance for success and that will operate at the speed and alacrity that the real-time world requires.

Written by Colin Henderson

February 25, 2009 at 14:40

%d bloggers like this:


text:
Q&A with a College Prep Scholar & QuestBridge Scholar – Kim Rosa

Kim-Rosa_Swarthmore (1)QuestBridge Scholars are known for their scholarship, leadership, and service, and Kim Rosa truly exemplifies each of these traits. Since becoming a College Prep Scholar in 2013, Kim has been a Quest Liaison, Quest Ambassador, Essay Coach, Group Leader, and — most recently — a Quest Intern! We sat down with Kim so she could pass along her advice to the next generation of QuestBridge Scholars:

Based on your experience applying to college through QuestBridge, do you have any advice for students heading into the National College Match?

Begin the National College Match application as soon as possible, even if you just log in to your application and read through the different prompts and requirements. Oftentimes it can be overwhelming to think about everything that needs to be completed, but if you begin early, you will have enough time to talk to your teachers about recommendations and you can begin to brainstorm your essay responses.

Do you have any tips for students who are just starting to research colleges?

Try to visit the schools that you are interested in. Once on campus, speak with current students/professors and ask questions to learn more about what it would be like to attend that school. Get a tour of the campus too. If you’re unable to visit due to geographical or financial barriers, look into fly-in programs. Many liberal arts colleges will pay for low-income and/or minority students to visit their campus during the fall semester of senior year. When I was researching colleges, Swarthmore’s fly-in program was what convinced me to apply there for college.

What advice would you give to students who are starting to write their personal statement?

Read the essay prompts so you know what they are asking from you, quickly jot down some notes on potential essay topics and then walk away from the computer to do something you enjoy. When I was brainstorming ideas for my essays, it was easier to think about meaningful experiences when I was surrounded by the people I cared about. Once I came up with my essay topics, I would write outside where I could relax and reflect on my experiences.

Think back to 2013 … which three words would you use to describe your experience applying to QuestBridge in your senior year of high school?

Exhilarating; Challenging; Worrisome

While applying to QuestBridge was both exciting and difficult, there was a part of me that felt as if I was not qualified for college. I automatically crossed schools off my list if they had low acceptance rates, without even giving them a shot. Nonetheless, going through the National College Match process has taught me to believe in myself even if the odds are against me. While I may not always get into all the programs I am applying for, I feel at ease knowing I at least tried.

Present day … which three words would you use to describe your experience as a QuestBridge Scholar at Swarthmore?

Resilience; Resourcefulness; Thought-Provoking

Being a QuestBridge Scholar at Swarthmore comes with its benefits and challenges. As a first-generation, low-income student, I am often faced with many predicaments whether they be financial, academic, or personal. That being said, I have learned to push through the tough moments and seek out the resources available to me. I am also learning how to effectively voice my concerns and bring to light some of the struggles first-generation and/or low-income students face.

Anything else you would like to add?

Remember to stay open-minded while going through the college search process. Maybe there is a school that you never considered before, but it has many of the characteristics you are searching for in a college campus.

Be confident in yourself! Many of you have been working hard to get to where you are today and now it’s just about telling your story. If you believe in your capabilities, it will make the process a little easier.


text:
The CogniDiet Programs

Program Options

 12 Class Weight Loss Program – Online

Follow the clinical trial and book 12 week’s curriculum. Access on demand all Veronique’s recorded presentations, week after week, with cheat sheets and tools, and motivational videos. You have access to the program for the 12 weeks curriculum plus an extra 3 months which gives you 6 months access from the day you register.

One on One Nutritional Consultation – Live or Skype

You can work directly with Veronique Cardon, MS, for weight loss or nutritional support (special diets including ketogenic, allergies and intolerances, digestive issues or nutrients deficiencies). Veronique also provides DNA testing for nutritional optimization via Nutrigenomix. You can meet her face to face at her Princeton office or via Skype.

“Rewire Your Brain and Lose Weight” Support Group

No face to face support group meetings for the time being but we will keep you posted.


text:
On ‘peaking’ in Ashtanga

One of the panels at the 2013 Confluence was on “Ashtanga Yoga and Daily Life ” This was right up my alley. I’m 48. I’ve just learned Second Series. I wanted to know what to expect.

Much of the panel discussion was on the shifting emphases as we grow older in the practice. Tim Miller has said he’s no longer interested in the “flourishes” that mark a younger person’s practice–he just wants to do it. David Swenson talks about efficiency over expenditure. Eddie Stern said that some days, “practice” consists of three As, three Bs, and padmasana. Dena Kingsberg discussed the effects of having children and menopause. Then, a member of the audience asked about “peaking”; that is to say, when were you at your pinnacle, in terms of Ashtanga asana practice?

It seems rude to reproduce here everyone’s age when that happened. It’s enough to say they were all peaking at about at the age I started Ashtanga–with one exception.

Now, you might think I’d find that discouraging. Instead, it got me thinking about why they even had an answer (again, there was one exception on the panel). They were young, able-bodied, and athletic when they met Sri K. Pattabhi Jois. Dena called that time, “the time of champions.” There were stories of being totally broken down, unable to move they were so sore, and then of going back the next day to get put back together. At some point in fourth or fifth series, they “peaked” and could no longer “collect asanas.” To be fair, the teachers clearly thought this was a pretty superficial question. But at the same time they had ready answers: “I was 30,” etc.

I listened to this, and pondered over my brand new second series practice. Almost every day I roll out my mat, something new, small, and awesome happens. I have no designs on Third, but hey, I didn’t on Second when I started First.

I think two things have made an enormous difference in my attitude toward the practice: I was older when I started, and I wasn’t hale and healthy. I was never athletic when I was younger. I was a sickly kid, and a sickly adult. I’d had tuberculosis, asthma, and pneumonia fifteen times (that I counted). My spine is disintegrating, as are my joints, and I had arthritis when I was 25. The day I touched my toes in a forward fold, I was pretty sure I’d peaked. Turned out I was wrong.

Everyone on the panel felt they’d peaked, except Nancy. Although she started  earlier than I did, she was very weak and sick. She still suffers, but said on the panel that she feels like she gets stronger all the time. (See Steve’s post for more detail on Nancy’s history.)

This made me think about how the idea of “peaking” might effect the teaching of Ashtanga, when so many of us come to our teachers

One possible peak. Mt. Kailash: Siva! via Wikipedia
One possible peak. Mt. Kailash: Siva! via Wikipedia

weak, sick, and broken. It also made me think about my own job teaching–writing, that is. Part of my goal at the University is to foster excellent teaching–to develop teachers, many of whom have been teaching for years. What if we thought of other learned skills in this way?

To be able to do something might not be as important as the context we put that ability in; the greater context of my weakness and illness has made my practice feel…well, peakless (“topless”? “ceilingless”?). The limitations I had in my daily life give it a kind of openness and limitlessness that is precious to me, so I’ve stopped thinking about peaking.

But back to writing. I tell my students that writing is an unpleasant and ugly process that involves constantly coming up against your mental limitations and pushing beyond them. This involves feeling of inadequacy and awkwardness that only practice can work out–practice in the form of constant revision. I tell them that they should feel as if the thing they want to say is just beyond their ability to say it. And that if they are lucky, it will feel that way for the rest of their lives. The minute they get too comfortable…well, that’s the death of writing. Of learning, and the growth of intelligence.

It seems to me that my Ashtanga practice is the same, that maybe because I always felt that this practice is beyond me, I feel amazed that I’m doing any of it, and that it won’t matter where I am in it, that I can still feel that way about suryanamaskara A. And if I’m lucky, I’ll feel that way for the rest of my life.

Posted by Bobbie

Published by

Two Ashtangis write about their practice and their teachers.

7 thoughts on “On ‘peaking’ in Ashtanga”

  1. Thank you for this article, Bobby. It inspired me to write down my own thoughts about this topic. I am 30 now and also worrying about “peaking” somehow – even though I’m clearly not there yet. But I’m not only a yogini but also an active martial artist, and I do wonder how long my body will be able to go in this speed :).
    Greetings from Germany, Carolin

  2. I’m 59. Started at 55. Still improving (slowly) and enjoying it. will never reach any sort of peak, but hey, it makes me feel better, makes me saner, and keeps me healthy. It works.

  3. 50 and started secondary recently. I came to yoga at 45. Have a teacher whose orthodoxy has not allowed me to go to secondary because i have not yet dropped back. Recently however, another teacher drew my attention to the fact that my practice is strong enough. And anyway the constant folding forward of primary 6 days a week can(according to teacher) lead to lower back damage and depression. Neither of those two have happened as yet, but hell I’m taking no chances. Forward into Secondary with grace and dignity!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Funny you write this the day after my birthday! I am 46. As a non-Ashtangi who practices Ashtanga infrequently but general yoga regularly, my practice is less about a series and more about moving inward and learning stuff in my practice. I did notice that I take very long to complete first. A little over 2 hrs but I like to do all the extra stuff. Just decided on my 50th birthday I will take Tim’s 2nd series TT. If he is still teaching it. As a side note Dharma Mittra did his poster when he was in his mid 40s. He probably peaked around there and says frequently that he lost 75% of his poses when he got married and had kids.

Leave a Reply to carolin Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


text:
3M Stock: A Short Lesson

3M stock provides a useful lesson into the sequence of how long-term investors sometimes generate their returns. It is interesting to me how there are certain stocks–particularly in the financial sector like Aflac, Morgan Stanley, and Bank of America–that keep growing earnings and pushing their intrinsic value higher each year, yet investors discard them because the price of the stock has not advanced in a manner consistent with the earnings growth.

Personally, those are the types of companies that I find to be the most straightforward candidates for investment because it is only a matter of “when” the investor community will recognize the improving fundamentals. Other value picks generally require improving business performance plus a recognition of that fact from investors that give it a higher stock price.

3M stock is a great illustration of this principle. In 2004, 3M stock hit a high of $90 per share after posting five year cumulative growth of 77% and brandishing a dividend growth stock streak that dates to the 1960s. Throughout its history, 3M stock has been about as blue chip as you could ask for, and has also delivered total returns that beat the S&P 500. 3M stock has compounded at 12.5% annually since 1980, 11% annually since 1990, and 11% annually since 2000. The terms of long-term investment in 3M stock have long been clear: You will get returns that beat the S&P 500 by about a percentage point or two over long periods, which can amount to substantial additional wealth compared to the index fund route.

3M stock has also treated investors well that desire a rising income stream to meet living expenses or make new investments, as the dividend has grown every year since the early 1960s and has grown from $1.24 in 2002 to $4.44 in 2016 for a 258% cumulative gain over the course of fourteen years, or 9.54% annualized.

Despite the fact that 3M has been a fantastic business just about any way you measure it, this does not mean that the performance of 3M stock has been as consistent as the long-term earnings growth and dividend growth indicates.

After hitting $90 per share in 2004, the price traded in the $80s and $90s through 2008, fell to $40 per share in 2009, and then traded in the $70s, $80s, and $90s through 2012. Most importantly, the bulk of 3M’s gains came in the year 2013 when the price of 3M stock appreciated from $94 per share to $140 per share. There was nothing extraordinary about 3M’s business performance in the year 2013–3M only grew earnings from $6.32 to $6.72, a little over 6%. But that was the year the price of the stock delivered 48% capital appreciation.

3M stock has been a real-life example of one of the most important stock market lessons to internalize–the smooth earnings growth of a consistently growing firm may deliver the bulk of its long-term returns in short, sporadic bursts that are not predictable. If you held 3M stock from 2004 through 2012, you were only collecting a dividend. Your 3M stock compounded at 2.90% annualized. But, if you held 3M stock from 2004 through today and captured that 48% capital appreciation in 2013, then you would have compounded your wealth at 9.24% annualized. There was a world of difference between holding 3M stock for eleven years instead of eight.

And here’s the kicker–with the exception of the 2008-2009 period when earnings shifted downward from $5.60 to $4.89, 3M stock grew its earnings during every year since 2004. 3M stock has paid out a growing dividend during each of these years. The profits were growing at over 9%, but you didn’t have the capital appreciation to show for it through 2012.

That is why I am not interested in market-timing strategies. It is very easy to see that 3M stock is a great long-term investment for someone that buys the stock and is truly committed to holding it for a long time. But I have no idea how you can predict the sequence of returns. There is nothing that happened to 3M’s core business in 2013 that would have indicated 2013 was the magic year for 3M stock to deliver capital appreciation.

This is also speaks to the merits of diversification and not over-obsessing on the performance of an individual stock in a portfolio. If you owned Visa, Nike, Becton Dickinson, Brown Forman, Disney, or another well-established large cap during the period leading through 2012, you could have been receiving large capital gains from them while 3M stock lagged. Then, over the past three years, 3M stock has been the leader of most portfolios.

Warren Buffett has been famous for saying that being a businessman has made him a better investor and being an investor has made him a better businessman. The spirit of that comment seems to apply to the relationship of an individual stock against the portfolio as a whole–the less you need a particular stock to deliver capital appreciation in a timely manner, the easier it is to actually wait out the periods of underperformance so that you can exercise the patience necessary to be a good investor.

I highlight the experience of 3M stock since 2004 because it is a more common occurrence than you’d initially think–I know I initially assumed that stocks with predictable earnings growth in the 8-10% range would loosely deliver capital gains in the 8-10% range. But that’s the case–even with exceptional investments like 3M stock, there can be years and years of nothing followed by a burst of capital appreciation.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Conservative Income Investor on Patreon!


text:
Duncan and Claire welcome you to The Dog House. As new custodians of the micro pub we hope to continue in the footsteps of Karen and Jim and stay true to the venues friendly and warm atmosphere while adding a bit of our own personalities along the way.

Housed in what was originally the barn for convalescing dogs from the vets The Dog House is a warm and inviting micro pub offering local ales, homemade food and live music. We also have an extensive vinyl collection for you to peruse and play or bring your own along and listen while you relax with a drink.

With ample parking, retail outlets and a nature trail we’re the perfect place to stop and refresh, welcoming families and dogs.

Situated just 10 minutes out of Ashford, 15 minutes from Hythe, 20 minutes from Folkestone and under 30 minutes from Canterbury we may not be on your doorstep but we think you’ll find the journey worth while.

The Dog House ~ Your not so local Local


text:
•   ABOUT US

About TheDrummersAlmanac.com

What is Thedrummersalmanac.com? This web site is a community of drummers on the Internet where musicians of all ages and levels can join in to develop their playing and attain that next level of skill on the drums!

We do this by offering not just lessons, but extensive, detailed practice sessions along with real-world applications of those techniques. In other words it’s like one-on-one, personal training on the drums where instead of stopping at the “how to,” we take you through the entire cycle of learning… Our PATH to transformation on the drums is simple:

That's the entire learning PATH …Start to finish! This creates an atmosphere of unbelievable focus which has created astonishing results for our members over the past few years...  and we are just getting started!!!

I started TDA back in 2012. My initial goal was to create a website with the sole purpose of providing all of my private students with an online resource to help them practice. These students were already studying with me personally, but I found that many of them didn't have the ability to practice correctly on their own.

They’d come in week after week with excuse after excuse of why they couldn’t practice. Some of it was laziness, some was lack of motivation, and a lot of it was just not being able to remember how to practice with the ability to stick to the assigned regiments.

What ever the reason, I found that 100% of students practiced perfectly when I was there to go through it with them. The main challenge was, this would waste a lot of valuable time in the drum lesson. Instead of learning something new and moving forward, so many students would spend that hour practicing with me.

So, that inspired the question; ‘How can I sit down and practice with all of my students every day and on their schedule?’ Thus, The drummersalmanac.com website was born.

After a while, as new students began joining the site we had another challenge to overcome. Since not every student was privy to my unique form of instruction, some students were reported having trouble keeping up with the practice schedule, even at the beginner tempos.

To answer that challenge I began drawing from my established off-line private lesson curriculum, reorganizing it into a series of online videos to help bridge that gap. Thus our drum lesson vault was born.

Since 2012, we continue to add features and most of all, listen to our member‘s suggestions on how to improve the educational process to this day.

This latest incarnation of the site (Currently our 4th rebuild) has been a challenge to create, but has been worth the efforts! I hope you all enjoy it and continue to Practice With Purpose! ” ~Jay

Jay Fenichel

TDA Founder

Jay has been a professional drum instructor since 1998. Jay is the owner and curator of TDA (TheDrummersAlmanac.com) which has taught over 4000 drum students. In addition to teaching, Jay has and continues to be a working musician... gigging, touring, and recording with a wide array of artists and musicians.

Michael D'Amelio

Design Coordinator

With 15 years of experience creating and managed projects, Mike has built amazing media for clients like Barielle Cosmetics, Billy Joel, Canon, Olympus, Nikon, Bed Bath & Beyond, Stolichnaya Vodka, Beefeater Gin, Hiram Walker and B&G Foods. Mike is the creative drive behind TDA.

Greg McQuillan

Technical Director

Greg is the technical director of TDA and a great drummer himself. Greg started out as one of Jay's drum students. Turns out he was also a wiz at building websites. Greg has an impressive resume of website and APP developments and is a constantly working to make TDA better.


text:
Follow The Yellow Brick Road…

Follow The Yellow Brick Road… On Friday it was soup night again but this time I had managed to find some reduced veggies in the supermarket.

I got a huge bag of spinach (Hmmm last time I bought reduced veggies it was also spinach. I see a recurring theme!)

So back to the soup… It will be a beautiful green soup, Sproglet decided it was “Wizard of Oz soup”.

Serves 6:

  • 600 g of fresh spinach leaves
  • 2 sweet potatoes peeled and chopped
  • 2 leeks sliced into rings
  • 3 sticks of celery finely chopped
  • 1 onion, finely chopped
  • Some olive or coconut oil
  • 4 oxo cubes or similar
  • Creme fraiche

Place all chopped vegetables in the pan with the oil and lightly stir-fry.

Add the spinach and the oxo cubes and top up with water till the spinach is just covered.

Bring to the boil, turn down the heat and simmer until the veggies are just soft.

Blitz the soup with a stick blender or process in a food processor till smooth.

Season to taste.

I added a splash of Maggi to the soup but a small amount of marmite or yeast extract would do.

Serve soup in plates or bowls and drizzle the creme fraiche on top.

Serve it with some nice multi grain bread and some chunks of cheddar (the yellow bricks 😀 )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


text:
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
KneenePlave jdvfr
wbv walgreens cbd oil
The Leaders Debate Commission, the body created to organize two official federal election debates, has made a preliminary ruling that would block Bernier participation.
State Senate Democrats and advocacy groups are urging the state's eligible working poor to seek out free tax return preparation services and claim the federal and state tax credit, the country's most powerful weapon in fighting poverty."It's a lot like the lottery," said Sen. Shirley Turner (D Mercer). "If you ain't in it, you can't win it."Approximately 20 percent of people eligible for the Earned Income Tax Credit, don't claim the benefit, perhaps because they are unfamiliar or confused with the program.The state raised its own credit limit, which is directly tied to the federal limit, from 20 percent to 30 percent, or more than $200 a year for the average family.
Local NewsM11 traffic: Photo and video show vehicle fire causing long delaysThe earlier fire is causing congestion of about three miles on the M11
Seattle surgeons disinfected and reinserted the bone, but a compromised blood supply and constant infections plagued his recovery and his ability to put weight on his foot.
The Marshall Liberal Government and University of Adelaide have officially launched a significant partnership to attract greater investment into South Australia and deliver greater economic benefits to the state's primary industries sector. [Full Story]

강원 랜드 출입 정지 해제

The back of the squid is a large fin. Connected to the fin is the mantle, funnel, head, arms, tentacles and tentacle clubs.
Information collected throughout the study by Scripps won't be shared with WebMD.What are people saying?Best appThis app is helping me out in many ways.
This program also provides the visitors an opportunity to experience the advanced Japanese scientific technology.
The plants get checked on several times a day to make sure they don't get too hot or too dry or wet.Baked potato lovers anxiously awaited the opening of the Horticulture Building at the New York State Fair. And the doors to open.
Like the Hard Rock Hotel Casino (which plans to open down the street the very same day), the Ocean Resort has madepromises to bringworld class entertainment as well as thousands of jobs back to the languishing Atlantic City Boardwalk.

사설 토토 먹튀
토토 돈 따는 법

That huge workforce is largely unorganized. Only a few such casinos recognize union contracts. Among them is North America's largest gaming center, Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut.
Gold Prices Recede From Record High: 10 Things To Know
Aurora company accused of not making employee 401(k) contributions on time: Money Matters Aurora company accused of not making employee 401(k) contributions on time: Money Matters The company that I work for in Aurora failed to make 401(k) contributions for February, March, April and most of May. They have promised to make everything right. Is there any type of fine that the company will have to pay?.
Police believe additional people involved in the killing remain at large. District spends per student The average New Jersey district spent $21,455 in 2017 18.
You have only the rights to the Content which are expressly granted here..

In an 8 0 decision released today, the Supreme Court reversed the Escambia County court decision that the tribe was immune from the claim that the casino "negligently and wantonly" served alcohol to the driver. The Supreme Court ordered the lower court to reconsider whether it had jurisdiction to decide Amada Harrison claims..
Tap this circle to expand it to a big box on screen.
According to BBC News, the 29 year old heiress claimed that she had given Khyami the car to use as long as they were together and intended [it] to be a gift. Khyami used the car as security for an outstanding balance on another car, it was seized by Elite Card Ltd., the company it was purchased from. It was then sold to Ansol Trading Ltd.
Also Watch President Ram Nath Kovind lists benefits of Article 370 abrogation in J
Of those surveyed by the city, 69 per cent were in support of adding additional slots and live table games like poker, blackjack and roulette. Reasons for support were split equally among job creation, economic impact and a need for added entertainment in London.

사다리 먹튀

Tung also gave the girl who was not one of his students a chocolate bar as an unwanted gift, police said in court documents filed in support of the charges. The student told another teacher about the candy and Tung was ordered to stop having contact with the girl by his supervisor, police said.Tung, of the Stewartville section of Greenwich in Warren County, also posted a meme on his personal Facebook page that championed stalking someone at school, police said.The student told Mount Olive police in May that she had been followed by Tung while driving alone in her car near Route 57 in Mansfield, police said. She said Tung continued to follow her even after she tried to evade him by driving around stores in the area, police said.
The guest stars alone make it worthwhile.
New Coast casino could lure convention centre build
Dying of Cancer is not a walk in the park. Having watched that up close I have to say I going with treatment unless of course, it is truly too late.
"The people of Madhya Pradesh have been missing Shivraj Singh Chouhan and his government. He introduced schemes like the 'Ladli Lakshmi' due to which he is popularly known as 'mamaji' (maternal uncle) in his state," Mr Sawant said.

Forum Jump:

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)


text:
Bodycraft LMXP Mini Xpress Home Gym

$2,999.00 $2,499.00

Afterpay available for orders up to $1,000.00 Learn More

Bodycraft Sale! only 1 available $1999

The Bodycraft Mini Xpress utilizes Pulleys and Cables for unrestricted,

Completely natural, and bio mechanical correct movements. You define the path,
providing for a greater, more natural range of motion, which incorporates the use of a
stabilizer and core muscle groups – an advantage not found on typical home gyms.
The Mini Xpress is an effective way to build strength and balance for every day
activities, or for recreational sports!
It is a Dumbbell Style Modular Home Gym providing correct form for every
Dumbbell exercise. Great alternative to a set of Dumbbells and Bench!
Seat is adjustable. Seat Back can adjusts front-to-back and tilts up-and-down
providing support at every angle!
Category: Tag:

Bodycraft LMXP Mini Xpress Home Gym

The Bodycraft LMXP Mini Xpress Home Gym is one of the most compact and versatile gyms on the market . The adjustable cable arms act like dumbbells – in just about any direction you choose! The workmanship is excellent with heavy duty gauge steel throughout.
But what is really impressive with this gym is it’s versatility; Excellent for not only the seasoned pro, but for the beginner or home gym set up. Why? Because of 2 extra ordinary features. Firstly the weight stack can be added to – almost no gym offers this feature. Secondly, because of the variety of exercises available.

The Bodycraft LMXP Mini Xpress has everything you need to get started! The wall chart / poster is a fantastic reference point for all the main exercises – including the sports specifics like golf, and tennis.
All the accessories you need are there; Lat bar – for back exercises, Ab belt – for the abs, hand pulley – for heaps more exercises!!! The list goes on! And of course, the interactive DVD shows you the exercises step by step; this means you can get started straight away and know exactly what you are doing!

The 150lb Weight Stack:
The Mini Xpress has a huge 150lb weight stack. The weight stack can be expanded, using your own weights up to an additional 200lbs, for a combined total of 350lbs of weight resistance;  Precision milled steel plates with nylon bushings for smooth action in increments of 10lbs per plate. Push yourself further with more weights for higher levels of weight training!

The Leg Attachment:
Perfect for toning the muscles in the legs, glutes, and lower body. Curl/extension attachment features padded contacts for comfort on the legs when you work them out, building your calves, thighs and quads to their maximum potential.

The Lat Attachment:
System includes attachment extension post, and handles for executing lat pull downs, working the lats, as well as the triceps, biceps, and arm muscle groups.

The stand out feature of any Home Gym is the ab crunch feature. No need to do hundreds of sit ups for little return. The ab crunch allows the user to Dynamically train their abs with the use of weights. More resistance means less reps; so you don’t have to do heaps of sit ups that take precious time. Instead, the abs can be trained with weights meaning you only need to do 10, 20 or perhaps 30 repetitions at the most. More effective. Better Results. Less Time!

Additional information

Weight 200 kg
Dimensions 200 × 100 × 40 cm


text:
Episode IX May Return to Jakku

Jakku has been made a pretty important part of Star Wars canon fairly quickly. It is of course Rey’s planet at the start of The Force Awakens and the canon novels have built a bit more mythology on the planet as well. Now it is expected that the production will be return to Jakku in Episode IX.

A minor cast member from The Force Awakens mentioned that Lucasfilm was going to return to Abu Dhabi, the era that served as Jakku in The Force Awakens. He also mentioned that production on Colin Trevorrow’s film will begin next year, as expected.

A return to Jakku gives me mixed feelings. Jakku is meant to mirror Tatooine, Luke Skywalker’s home planet and it seems a little too similar to Episode VI to have the cast return to Jakku for a second time just like they did with Tatooine. Just because they are returning to the same set doesn’t mean that they are going to Jakku. It could also mean that Star Wars will return to Tatooine which has been featured in all but 2 live action Star Wars movies.

Do you think Episode IX should bring Rey back to Jakku?