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21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today

Note: This is an article about lost gentleman traditions: honor, respect, courtesy, and manners. It’s for men, by a man.

21 lost gentleman traditions

Chivalry IS, in fact, dead when men no longer understand the meaning behind a chivalrous action. When actions no longer come from within, but are forced and expected, the inner gentleman dies and so does chivalry. As we discussed in the last article, there is history behind gentleman etiquette.

21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today

1. He stands when she walks in the room
In the old days, men stood out of respect when a lady, dignitary, or elderly person walked in the room. It was a sign of respect and humbleness. Today, men stand out of courtesy when a guest visits a meeting. A gentleman will stand from his table when he’s introduced to a guest. Who stays seated when a friend walks into a restaurant, bar, or their place anyhow? Standing shows you are attentive and you care.

2. He walks by her on the outside, closest to the street
Why is the top coat symbolic of the gentleman? Before our drainage systems, a man stood on the outside of the sidewalk in a long coat to protect her from the dust and sewage that could splash up as horse carriages passed by. Sewage was common in the streets. The picture of the man laying his coat over a puddle for her to walk over meant he was protecting her feet from fecal material more than rain water.

Today, a gentleman might stand in the way of puddles splashing up from buses, or in the event a car veers onto the sidewalk. Symbolically it might mean he’ll always be by her side, through thick and thin, and will protect her from anything.

3. He opens the door for her
A gentleman would help her up into the carriage as a sign of his protection and strength. Women would hold their dresses up as they were often long and heavy. The gentleman opened the door for her so she wouldn’t have to drop her dress in the dirt.

The modern gentleman helps her in and out of the car to stand in the way of creepy gawkers. Opening a door for her is not a sign she is weak, but a gesture of affection.

4. He never criticizes a home-made meal
An out-loud criticism of a meal as a guest was considered disrespectful to the host. If anyone takes the time and effort to make a dinner, they are your host. Honor them. Smile and chew.

5. He doesn’t LOL for the sake of attention
“Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners…”Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman (1746). He might write an “LOL” over text in the present, but a gentleman doesn’t have to be loud to command attention. He commands attention through his strong character.

6. He pulls out her chair
It was common for the gentleman to pull out her chair and allow her to face the open room. Today, the gentleman pulls out her seat, and sits facing away from the crowd and the TV because he doesn’t want to be distracted from his priority when he forgets to take his Ritalin.

obama gentleman

7. He sits after she sits
“…and at the table wait until she is seated, indeed wait until every lady is seated, before taking your own place” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860). Talk show hosts continue this tradition today by waiting to sit until after their guest has taken their seat. If Oprah does it, so can you. She’s your guest. Allow her to sit first.

8. He helps her put on/take off her coat
Up through the Edwardian period, women wore multiple layers, and beneath them a restricting corset. A gentleman would help his lady put on and take off her coat because of her restricted movement.

Corsets are not common today, but many women still enjoy the help of a gentleman.

9. He doesn’t walk ahead of her
Because ladies wore long dresses and could trip on them, the gentleman walked behind her when climbing a staircase. Tumbling down a flight of stairs isn’t a good way to end a date. Today, the gentleman follows this etiquette rule because she might be wearing long heels or a long dress. This is another sign of him protecting her. However, she may want him to walk up stairs first if she’s wearing a short skirt.

10. He gives up his seat to her if there is only standing room
A gentleman offers his seat to a lady if there are no other seats on the bus/train. I’m talking to you…the dude who wouldn’t give his seat up to the pregnant lady.

11. He carries her bags
A gentleman will help her carry her bags today, and when flying, will assist others in putting their luggage in the overhead compartments.

12. He picks up the check
An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman generally picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations.

13. He holds an umbrella over her when it rains
It was common for a younger person to hold an umbrella for an older person. When it rains, the gentleman holds an umbrella over her and doesn’t mind getting a little wet (even if he’s a bigger star as demonstrated by Leonardo).

leonardo gentleman

14. He gives her his jacket
A gentleman pays attention, and if he notices her shivering, he gives her his jacket to wear.

15. He keeps her secrets
A gentleman will always keep a secret, especially the one entrusted to him by the woman of his dreams. Should a break-up happen, the gentleman can still be trusted.

16. He walks her home or to safety
A true gentleman will walk her to her car or home to this day because he’s concerned for her safety.

17. He listens to her
“To be a good listener is as indispensable as to be a good talker…” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860). A gentleman always listens because he wants to deeply get to know her.

18. He’s on time
A gentleman is his word. Traffic is not an excuse for being late to a date. A good man plans in advance. Don’t keep her waiting.

19. He compliments her
She spent a lot of time getting ready, so a gentleman always compliments. He doesn’t play on her insecurities. Negging is for creeps.

20. He would never dream of hitting ANY woman
“…the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman” Martine’s Handbook (1866). The same rules apply today. It doesn’t matter if you are Chris Brown or Ray Rice, a gentleman finds no excuse to hit a woman…no matter what.

21. He asks her father for her hand in marriage
In Victorian days, a gentleman would have to show his coat of arms, or his credentials to her father to show he was a worthy man for marriage. The 21st century gentleman asks her father for his blessing because it’s respectful and courteous.

Bottom line is, there are many rules of etiquette. While they might not be deal-breakers anymore, she will still be impressed with your knowledge and charm.

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498 Responses to 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today

  1. Roger A September 17, 2014 at 4:06 am #

    Awesome blog Kris! Loved it!

    • Kris Wolfe September 17, 2014 at 6:19 am #

      Thank you Roger!!! Appreciate your feedback.

      • Dawn September 26, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

        Great article! However, I would let up a bit on #18. As long as he communicates with me and he has all the other gentlemanly qualities. Also, I feel that #21 should be applied here, unless she is under 18 years old. She should be making this decision because she’s a grown woman. What if her father says no because he’s a control freak? What if she’s not that close with her family?

    • Kris Wolfe September 17, 2014 at 4:50 pm #

      Thanks Roger, and thank you for all of your support too!

    • Joe Fisher July 12, 2015 at 7:44 pm #

      This WAS THE WAY BEFORE THEY WERE CALLED “bitches and Hoes”

      • Trish Coleman January 6, 2016 at 1:59 am #

        It blows me away that young women and girls allow a guy to refer to them as bitches and hoes! Where is their self respect?

        I drive a school bus and have the opportunity to see and hear kids from middle and high school levels. We live in a decent area, and you’d never know it to hear the terrible language that comes from these kids lips, both male and female.

      • Irene January 18, 2016 at 9:42 pm #

        What is WORSE than this is when I see women referring to themselves as a bitch and being proud of it by putting bumperstickers on their cars that proudly boast it!

      • AR March 14, 2016 at 5:59 am #

        I believe they were call insane and trollops then…

    • Charles July 27, 2015 at 1:29 am #

      I loved the fact I read this and just kept asking myself…. These aren’t normalities? Thank you mom for teaching me the right way.

      • Christy November 2, 2015 at 6:03 am #

        Awe that’s so sweet to thank your mom for instilling these morals and values!!! Shows your are a true gentleman or as they put it “good guy swag” lol

      • Pam Fannin May 23, 2016 at 4:32 am #

        I too thought the actions were normal . Behavior , good or bad is learned. About 35-40 years ago America’s counter culture started having kids and their kids had kids. So what we have today is an arrogant and disrespectful society that cares only about themselves. Add social media and gaming and we have a society that lacks what I would consider very basic social skills.

        • steve peterson July 16, 2016 at 4:34 pm #

          Well said!

      • Michelle June 4, 2016 at 5:32 pm #

        I taught my son this as well. Funny thing is, he is Autistic but still ALWAYS holds the door for me and his sister. So if someone who is Autistic can do this, there is no reason why any other man can’t!

    • Revolution August 23, 2015 at 7:10 pm #

      Very smart i wonder how some of them had lost this important tips

  2. DoughJames . November 2, 2014 at 10:17 pm #

    I started to disagree with “not walking ahead of her.” But, if you mean up a flight of stairs, I can agree. But, maybe in a mall or something is OK

    • A woman July 13, 2015 at 5:17 am #

      It’s never okay to walk ahead of her. Always walk beside her.

      • JustSay'n July 13, 2015 at 7:10 pm #

        I would not use the word “Never” for this situation. When walking through a very crowded venue I will hold her hand, walk directly in front of her to make a hole through the crown for her to easily walk thought.

        • JustSay'n July 13, 2015 at 7:13 pm #

          Sorry for the wording on the reply above…
          I would not use the word “Never” for this situation. When walking through a very crowded venue I will hold her hand, walk directly in front of her to make a hole through the crowd for her to easily walk.

        • A Lady February 9, 2017 at 7:18 pm #

          Okay. That’s a good one. I agree with her and you. Don’t walk ahead of a girl. Walking beside her makes her feel like you care. Unless it is very crowded, always walk beside her.

          • Kris Wolfe February 13, 2017 at 9:25 am #

            Especially if she’s an introvert. My wife, Kristen, doesn’t like to feel like she has to fend for herself in super busy spots. Thanks for the input!

      • Jeroen van Baardwijk July 15, 2015 at 10:26 pm #

        Alas, there is a time when a gentleman should walk in front of the lady: when entering a bar. Purpose of this is to determine whether the venue is safe for the lady to enter. After all, one would not want a lady to enter the establishment and walk straight into a bar fight.

        • Leslie May 24, 2016 at 6:47 pm #

          A “lady” would not be entering a bar. You are referring to a whole nother kinda woman, Sir. 🙂

          • Margo August 10, 2016 at 5:38 am #

            I think an important characteristic of a lady is to be kind and nonjudgmental. IMHO it is not inappropriate for a lady to enter a bar or pub. You don’t have to be a socialite who only frequents country clubs to have class or be a lady. My mother comes from humble beginnings and worked as a bartender to put herself through college. There has never been a woman with more poise, grace and innate kindness than she.

      • drophammer77 August 24, 2015 at 5:08 am #

        Yes as Equal. There are occasions to lead but your woman will give you hints.

      • byron August 29, 2015 at 3:52 am #

        More of a cultural perspective, really, but not universally true. For instance, with the Navajo and other tribes, the man always walked out of the home first and walked ahead of the woman. The thinking was enemies could ambush or on the trail and the first one shot would then be the man.

        • Kris Wolfe September 2, 2015 at 5:17 pm #

          Thanks Byron, this is great information! I had no idea the Navajo had that code of conduct.

      • Christy November 2, 2015 at 7:37 am #

        This is such a great article Kris Wolfe!! I just can’t understand why it seems as though the very minute anyone tries to give good advice or just flat out put the FACTS on paper, there is ALWAYS going to be a small group of people who want to tear it down with their nasty, negative comments that don’t make any sense whatsoever!! I would really like to know if the naysayers are in a healthy, loving, compassionate, loyal, etc. relationship. Not JUST a relationship, but one with these qaulities. Yeah, let that sink in for a minute. You know, it’s really not rocket science, Smh. Keep the good articles coming Kris Wolfe and God Bless!!!

        • Kris Wolfe November 13, 2015 at 9:58 am #

          Thank you Christy! I apologize for the late response. The book release is happening next week!

      • MECHOUR December 17, 2015 at 6:21 pm #

        Walk beside a lady on the stairs
        Never walk behind a woman on the stairway, especially if she’s wearing a miniskirt. Walk beside her or slightly ahead of her on the stairs. When exiting a subway station in a crush of people, a gentleman will avert his eyes from the thighs ahead of him. The same principle applies if you are walking on the streets; don’t follow any woman you don’t know too closely.

        Walk on the outside of a sidewalk
        This allows your lady to be farther from the traffic. This way, if someone is going to be splashed, it will be you, not her. I know, I know… but that’s the price to pay if you want to be a gentleman.

        • Kris Wolfe December 21, 2015 at 6:18 pm #

          Thanks for the clarification. Great stuff!

          • James January 13, 2016 at 11:28 am #

            Do you have a particular book for teaching proper etiquette to young boys. ( How to tie a tie, wearing a hat in a building, etc)

          • Kris Wolfe January 17, 2016 at 11:36 pm #

            I wrote a book called “10 Ways To Win A Girl’s Heart” based on dating etiquette. It’s currently available on Amazon.

      • Jon January 10, 2016 at 5:04 pm #

        I believe they meant in the specific instances of being pervy. Example walking behind on stirs staring, or walking in front to open an umbrella in a rainstorm. See one big problem is some ladies true to find a way to blow off a man’s manners and make them into somthing rude. If a gentleman does this why get offended. He’s trying to show respect. Getting insulted at that just shows you are looking to judge him, and not see him as a caring man.

        • Perspective January 17, 2016 at 5:42 pm #

          At times, some women with a highly feminist mindset may find things like holding a door open for her etc. as a slight affront to her feminine strength, however, when put in the correct perspective, it is clearly not. Men were made to be protective of women, it doesn’t mean that women are lower than a man as in certain circumstances in history when it was meant to keep a woman in her place. It simply means that a woman is to be cherished and treasured, and let’s face it, treated decently. Something that is seriously lacking in today’s world.

          I am very happy to have a gentlemanly type of man. Chivalry is not dead, just under-appreciated.

          • Joel May 17, 2016 at 8:06 pm #

            It is polite to open the door for anyone, male of female. Anyone that takes offense has issues. Let them worry about, you are the polite one. Many businesses have two sets of doors, if a person wishes, they can hold the next set for you to return the favor.

  3. Trevor Ware December 3, 2014 at 2:22 am #

    Excellent traits every young man needs to know. My mom had taught me most of these before I was thirteen. She also taught me how to cook, sew, iron, do laundry, and balance a checkbook and keep a budget, among many other things.

    • Kris Wolfe December 3, 2014 at 6:06 pm #

      I was lucky to have an amazing mom as well Trevor, but your mom sounds like a super mom!

      • Trevor Ware December 6, 2014 at 10:20 am #

        Thank you Kris. I think my mom is a terrific lady.

        • Brian February 28, 2015 at 12:46 pm #

          How a man treats his mother is a good window into his general character. It sounds like yours, and your mother’s, are both excellent. Well done sir.

          • steve peterson July 16, 2016 at 4:50 pm #

            So true!

      • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 10:14 pm #

        For the record, Kris, regardless of what the typical internet cretins are saying, this is a great piece with a lot of good advice. Keep it up.

        The only critique I would give is that the title is a bit off grammatically. It should probably say “Gentlemanly traditions” as they are traditions OF gentlemen. Just an English nerd giving his two cents.

        • Kris Wolfe December 21, 2014 at 11:56 pm #

          Thanks, and good point. Hopefully I can change it after the holidays. My uncle just passed, and I’ve had to set this hobby aside for the moment.

          • beachmama December 24, 2014 at 6:20 am #

            So sorry about your uncle . . . thanks so much for this post. My husband consistently follows every single thing on this list except one . . . my father passed 30 years before we met but if I recall correctly, he did ask my mother . . .

          • Kris Wolfe January 5, 2015 at 12:46 am #

            Thank you beachmama. It’s been a tough past couple of weeks. Still processing, and I wonder if the mourning ever goes away?

          • Oline Wright January 17, 2015 at 3:14 am #

            it lessens but never is completely gone as there will always be times that you think back with regret that the loved one is not there to share a particular moment with you.

    • Duah Ordonez December 5, 2014 at 10:38 pm #

      What a mom! God bless her!

      • Trevor Ware December 6, 2014 at 10:20 am #

        Thank you.

    • PutiePie13 December 8, 2014 at 4:05 pm #

      Apparently she neglected to teach you how to be humble.

    • Pop Sugar Country GIrl February 20, 2015 at 2:35 am #

      Your mom deserves a bow, and so do you.

    • Jon Wilburn April 14, 2015 at 1:15 am #

      I’m just curious, did your dad play a role in teaching you any of these things?

    • Jiffylush April 15, 2015 at 5:40 pm #

      My mom taught me all of those things as well, with the exception of sewing. She has been teaching my daughter to sew (kid really enjoys it) which I think is very sweet.

    • mammocad . April 16, 2015 at 12:22 pm #

      You’re a pathetic pussy. Clearly you were raised by a single mother without a man in the house. Now you are a mangina. A weak pathetic excuse for a man. That’s why today’s women are in control and have no respect for men. It’s because of weasels like you

      • jimmyjohns July 10, 2015 at 2:55 pm #

        Dude shut your mouth. Talk about being everything wrong with society… You demonize another person because he was raised by a single mother (who are among society’s greatest heroes) while projecting society’s faults on his familial situation (as if he’s to blame) while puffing yourself up as some sort of big shot on social media.
        You are the worst form of a bully and a coward, because you hide behind your keyboard and fire off insults that are neither well-founded, needed, wanted or respectable.
        So keep your trap shut. And if any of these words have been difficult to understand, you’d better find a dictionary.

      • Cate July 13, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

        “Shouldn’t you be out on a ledge somewhere?”

  4. michael perry December 4, 2014 at 7:01 am #

    sorry but 20 does not apply to all women. it applies to real women. when real women decide that its ok to hit a man, then they cross a line. a man has the right to defend himself. a woman can be just as tough as a man. they may have to put her down as easy as he can but do it so that she stops and can calm down. there is nothing wrong with that. i wouldnt say its ok to punch or even to slap really to me. i would stop the advance of attacks and hold so she understands that she is going too far herself.

    • Amy December 4, 2014 at 6:02 pm #

      I think it applies to all people. Women? Don’t strike your partner. Men? Don’t strike your partner.

  5. J-dawg December 4, 2014 at 7:01 am #

    Ugh. What is this, 1814? I’m sorry but I don’t hate men or think I’m some sort of princess just because I have ovaries. This list is sickening.

    • Kaitlin December 4, 2014 at 5:29 pm #

      Amen. If someone asks my dad for my hand in marriage, it’s pretty much guaranteed I won’t be marrying him. My dad doesn’t own me, so you don’t need his permission for whatever you’re going to do with me. You need my permission. That’s it.

      • lady December 6, 2014 at 2:03 am #

        And then u cry when they use u n throw away. Gentleman is for a lady, not sluts.

        • A lady, you are not. December 6, 2014 at 11:59 pm #

          A lady has respect for all people and does not use derogative terms in an attempt to show themselves better than others.

          • Dawn September 26, 2015 at 6:00 pm #

            “A lady has respect for all people and does not use derogative terms in an attempt to show themselves better than others.”

            Thank you! Nail on the head!

        • J-dawg December 8, 2014 at 10:06 pm #

          So, what you’re saying is, “ladies” deserve special treatment for behaving the way “gentlemen” deem proper, and all other women deserve to be treated like trash. Sounds about right for people who’d like this garbage.

      • Jeff W December 7, 2014 at 4:22 am #

        THey are asking for a blessing. To be accepted into the family. It is a show of respect to the family. Get real…

      • Brooklyn Ann July 22, 2015 at 1:26 am #

        YES! That one made me throw up in my mouth a little. The author did later change it to ask for his blessing, which is a little better, but I’d change it to “ask for the blessing of whichever parent she has the closest relationship with.”

        If my mom was still alive, I would be honored for my future husband to honor my mother by respecting her opinion. Especially if it went like, “I am going to propose to Brooklyn because (all the reasons he loves me) and this is how I plan to do it. What do you think/ do you have any advice?”

      • drophammer77 August 24, 2015 at 5:18 am #

        Asking the Father for his Blessing to Marry his Daughter. The Woman you are going to be making a commitment to & be devoted, loyal too.. It’s shows Respect. You are Marrying in the Family not just to the woman. Yes we know the decision ultimately is between you two but it shows that you respect her Family.

      • Beth May 22, 2016 at 6:50 pm #

        Then you are not the type of lady this type of gentleman would marry…so find one who feels as you do.

        But there are plenty that still appreciate manners

    • Concerned Gentleman December 4, 2014 at 5:40 pm #

      I would say that with a name like “J-Dawg” and immediately mentioning your ovaries, they don’t think you’re a princess anyway ma’am.

      • Evan Byrne December 20, 2014 at 8:42 pm #

        Wow, such a gentleman! You even called her ma’am in your backhanded comment! Maybe you should start a style blog for men too.

      • Raychel April 11, 2016 at 12:06 am #

        I love this comment!

    • BobT6627 December 5, 2014 at 1:12 am #

      To the very feminine-sounding “J-dawg”: Your insecurity is showing. Accepting graciousness from a man doesn’t make you any less of a woman. Being defensive of it, as you obviously are, does.

      • J-dawg December 5, 2014 at 4:23 am #

        Hehe, you’re so cute with your pitiful attempt at psychoanalysis.

        • Evan Byrne December 20, 2014 at 8:49 pm #

          I love how these “gentlemen” are mocking you for not being stereotypically womanly. If being a gentleman involves acting like a prick towards people that do not conform to highly dated social norms, then these people are getting it right!

        • Cate July 13, 2015 at 6:01 pm #

          No analyzing needed. An article about manners and respect is like laying out a beautiful picnic. And then the flies arrive. I see the flies have swarmed the picnic.

    • John July 22, 2015 at 7:35 pm #

      Agreed J-dawg… this list seems to value tradition over true respect and smacks of ingorance around the very real issues of gender inequality. I’m not saying traditions in and of themselves are negative, but some of these listed began in an era where it was common to believe women were inferior…

  6. jason78 December 4, 2014 at 10:03 am #

    funny how none of these things say : treats her like an equal, because that process is not gentlemanly

    • Len Pine December 4, 2014 at 3:19 pm #

      The reason is quite simple, Jason. All of these things demonstrate that the gentleman regards the lady (or the elderly or infirm) not as an equal, but as a person who is worthy of greater honor than himself.

      • Danielzinho December 4, 2014 at 3:52 pm #

        Greater honor than himself? Lol. Please shut up.

        • Lulz December 4, 2014 at 4:52 pm #

        • Jess December 4, 2014 at 5:13 pm #

          Not a gettleman or good guy. /

      • WMPlem December 5, 2014 at 1:01 am #

        Ahh, benevolent sexism. Where have you been all my life?

        • Alan Eskew December 22, 2014 at 5:39 pm #

          Its not sexism, these are acts of respect and honor. I do these things for The elderly, Infirm, children, Women, and even my friends. Not because they are less, but because I value them as Human beings.

        • Kris Wolfe January 5, 2015 at 12:50 am #

          Benevolent sexism: “a paternalistic attitude towards women that idealizes them affectionately.” It’s an attitude, not an action. Can any of the above actions be sexist? Only with the wrong attitude, but that’s not one of a gentleman.

          • Dawn September 26, 2015 at 6:07 pm #

            Exactly, but some will just never get it.

        • steve peterson July 16, 2016 at 5:02 pm #

          It’s not sexism. You need to free yourself from the male-castrating, gender-hating, lesbian-dominated ideology known as FEMINISM! After you’re freed, you will be able to have loving, positive relationships!

      • Sam December 5, 2014 at 7:04 am #

        My opinion on what you just said.

      • Richard Stanford December 9, 2014 at 2:46 pm #

        Actually, I’d say that the rules seem to say that the woman is naturally “lesser” than myself. Many of these describe the way that I behave with my 2 & 6 year old daughters – not because they’re women, but because I believe that I’m more able than they are. Thankfully this is not the case with my wife, who’s a capable adult in her own right (and who made her own decision to marry me, not being property for her father to dispose of).

        • Shannon Hollenbeck December 9, 2014 at 8:13 pm #

          Sounds like an excuse not to be chivalrous to me. I am a strong willed woman and I’m not beneath anyone but I feel it is very considerate and courteous to do most if not all the things on that list. But courtesy doesn’t seem to be the rule of the day anymore.

          • Richard Stanford December 9, 2014 at 9:04 pm #

            So why shouldn’t you do them for the man that you’re with about as often as he does them for you? Doesn’t consideration and courtesy span the genders?

          • TRUE111 December 10, 2014 at 12:53 am #

            Could be we as a culture and society simply need to return to the truth… 1 Peter 3:7 comes to mind where men are instructed to “show honor to the woman as the weaker vessel” (though not unequal). Yes, the context of that verse is marriage but it still applies where gender is concerned. Men are created differently than women for reasons many no longer acknowledge. And that’s a shame.

          • Richard Stanford December 10, 2014 at 1:06 am #

            And in 1 Timothy it says “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”

            Maybe the New Testament is not the best source of advice for modern gender relations?

          • Joseph Augustine December 10, 2014 at 10:33 pm #

            Mr. Stanford the premise for your argument here is invalid, while TRUE 111 is valid. 1 Peter 3:7 is a verse taken out of a marriage context. We know that Peter was not referring to a moral stamina, strength of character, or mental capacity, but more on the physical sense. It seems this was written as to keep away from an unhindering of Spiritual fellowship with God and one another; focusing on relationships amongst men and women and God.

            On the account in 1 Timothy:
            You have to understand the context. 1 Timothy is the letter written by apostle Paul to Timothy concerning the church at Ephesus. A major problem in the Ephesian church was a heresy that combined Gnosticism, decadent Judaism, and false asceticism. Paul in his letter (specifically in chapter 2) gave instructions on worship. In this sense yes, the woman should “learn in quietness and full submission” but interestingly, the Greek word for submission used here was also the same that was used in the 1 Peter 3 account, meaning it again was not referring to the woman as an inferior being. If you continue reading it may make more sense (starting at verse 11), “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve.”

            Now we know that sexual impurity was a big problem of the church at this time. It would make sense then why earlier in 1 Timothy 2 Paul also wanted women to “dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” If women were not using their body for immoral acts, Paul would not have to give any advice to the women to abstain from any such things in the church. Could this also have been a reason for women to “learn in quietness and full submission”? Too keep that kind of heresy out of the church? I believe it may.

          • Fed up with psychopaths. December 11, 2014 at 4:01 am #

            you can make all the excuses you want it’s still misogyny.

          • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 9:34 pm #

            Tell me you didn’t just cite a book that claims it’s an abomination to eat shellfish as “the truth”. (Not to mention all the slavery condoning, punishment for rape victims, killing basically anybody who doesn’t believe what you do, etc.)

          • Alan Eskew December 22, 2014 at 5:54 pm #

            That happened centuries apart, Its like saying somebody endorses slavery because they voted Democrat.

          • Kris Wolfe December 10, 2014 at 3:33 am #

            Where in this article does it suggest a woman can’t return courtesy and respect? This is an article about men who want to be leaders, and with courtesy, a gentleman takes the lead.

          • Neroke2013 December 21, 2014 at 7:40 pm #

            Kris leadership and service to the community is well and good. Unfortunately this article also pretty much says “Men do all the work, women get all the rewards” Now this in of itself wouldn’t be an issue but…

            Feminism in particular Radical Feminism has pretty much gone and broke the previously existing social contract. Thus if the woman no longer is obligated to be woman then the man is no longer required to a be gentleman either

            That’s a hard pill to swallow and you may not agree with me but thems the facts. In fact there are two separate movements the MRM and MGTOW that are both gaining serious momentum in large part because this social contract has been broken on almost every level

            As for me she acts like a lady I’ll treat her like a lady but the days when she’ll just get that because female?…Those days for me are LONG GONE

            So you want to call me a misogynist or accuse me of hating women then by all means fire away…You see the wonderful thing about MGTOW is that your approval of what I just posted isn’t needed

            Be nice if was this way but it’s not anymore

          • ZahraGem5 December 23, 2014 at 3:08 am #

            men and women are different, but equal. Men can do these gentlemanly things, and women reciprocate in different ways. I’m confused at what you were trying to say in your second paragraph. Are you saying most women don’t act like ladies? And nowhere in this article did it say “men do all the work, women get all the rewards.” Where did it say that? You’re being presumptuous. Obviously every relationship is different and goes on a case by case basis. That being said this is an article with an overview on gentlemanly ways. Obviously in order for a relationship to flourish it needs to be full of Love, Respect, Trust among other important things. I’ll say again men have their way of being gentlemanly towards ladies, and women have their own way of reciprocating to their man.

          • Neroke2013 December 24, 2014 at 4:20 am #

            I didn’t say men do all the work women get all the rewards I said it pretty much says that (aka Implied)

            The big issue here especially with a lot of men that have gone MGTOW is that it has been broken or abused. And this is currently happening with family and divorce courts allowing to happen

          • Kris Wolfe January 5, 2015 at 8:27 pm #

            You bring up a good point, and I’ve been reading a little about MGTOW. I would say men have already been going their own way for awhile now, and if anything, I believe what’s missing are strong father-son ties just as the men’s movement first recognized in the 70’s.

            However, I need to do some more research before making any judgements about this movement.

          • Neroke2013 January 6, 2015 at 7:55 am #

            Please do more research you do need to understand that this isn’t simply about walking away from women. That is part of it but there’s a lot more going on than that.

            Personally in my opinion no guy in his right mind would even consider getting married with the laws stacked against them the way they are. Plus not to mention there’s a whole judicial system in place specifically designed to drag out divorces for financial gain on purpose

            Go and look at the documentary Divorce Corp to see what I mean

          • Doug Lefelhocz December 25, 2014 at 7:29 pm #

            Nowhere in this article does it suggest that women should act in a reciprocal way towards men. Additionally, most of these things simply don’t fit as reciprocal sorts of things.

          • Kris Wolfe January 4, 2015 at 7:51 pm #

            And nowhere do I need to. This is an article by a man for men. It’s not my place to tell women what they should be doing. My wife has a website ( where women can receive advice and viewpoints from a woman.

          • Doug Lefelhocz January 5, 2015 at 6:54 pm #

            The content of your sites does make things clearer. You have articles with titles like “75 ways to become a better man (so men aren’t good enough as they are)” “10 things that do not necessarily make you a gentleman (men by themselves aren’t good enough, they should be gentlemen)” and other references to “gentleman”.

            Now that might seem hyperbolic, but in comparison your wife’s site is titled “she is more”. Is he more also? Probably not. That site has articles like one about the secret battle of a beauty queen. That is very different in character than telling good guys how to be. “The husband list 12 non negotiables (an article which clearly DOES tell men how to be)” an advertisement for “empowerment” shirts. Mind you, those aren’t shirts for *gentle* women, but rather for anyone, because as the site is titled “she is more” with a radiance worthy of being revealed (which is MUCH different than “good guy swag” something which is for those who are or want to be “good guys”.

            So in sum, it seems that you think it’s not your place to tell women what they should be doing, but your wife is perfectly content to tell men in general what they should be doing with her non negotiable list for women who read her site. And her site is focused on women recognizing that “she is more”, while yours tries to get men to fit a mold that you find appropriate.

            Anyways, good luck with your marriage.

          • Kris Wolfe January 5, 2015 at 8:02 pm #

            This is a site about men becoming better men. I’m on a journey to become a better man. Do I feel I’m good enough? Absolutely. Can I do better? Absolutely. Did you read either of the articles you referenced above?

            My wife’s site is about women becoming better women. She doesn’t speak to men on her site because it’s a site for women. She wrote “The Husband List” and I wrote “The Wife List.” I wrote “21 Gentleman Traditions” and she wrote “21 Ladylike Traditions.” You see a pattern here?

            I feel like you skimmed and made some false assumptions about both of our sites.

            In sum, her site instills confidence in women, and instills confidence in men (read the tagline).

            And thank you for your wishes on our marriage.

          • Rebekah Nelson December 11, 2014 at 4:46 pm #

            Well said! My husband and I both do these things for each other.

          • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 9:33 pm #

            I think you’re implying a meaning here that the article doesn’t necessarily present. These are old fashioned customs that the writer (and many others) consider a sign of respect when somebody offers them in contemporary times. Nobody said that the woman is less capable of dealing with these situations, but rather that it’s a sign of respect to protect them from those problems.

            As for “shouldn’t a woman do them to”? You know what site you’re on, yes? This site isn’t exactly in the business of advising women how to behave. It deals with men, and they’re advising men on how they feel to put the best foot forward. This is the kind of comment to which many parents would say “worry about your behavior and let them worry about theirs.”

          • Steven Phillips December 10, 2014 at 7:22 pm #

            “Gender equality” is an “excuse” not to be chivalrous?

            I love how being objectified is okay when it benefits you, but not when it doesn’t.

          • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 9:38 pm #

            That’s not what was said. The implication was that making a claim that advising men to be selfless and giving of themselves is somehow sexist is an excuse not to be chivalrous. Personally I have the utmost respect and admiration for women and couldn’t possibly be construed as thinking less of them by anybody who knew me at all… I still do most of these things every day (and the others on occasion when they’re applicable) NOT because I consider women weaker, less capable, etc. but because they’re good manners, and are societally accepted as gestures of good will and affection. Nowhere in this article do I see it saying “Cause she’s just a woman, she can’t handle this.” It’s about being a selfless and generous person, not about gender politics.

          • Steven Phillips December 17, 2014 at 3:23 am #

            If you would do it for another man, then it’s not sexist.

            Beyond that, your basically admitting to being susceptible to social controls, specifically deigned to inhibit individual thought.

            The term “Manners” in and of itself is implicitly sexist. Not only does is start with the word “man” but it is the form of etiquette that is generally accepted as “imposing self restraint and compromise on regular, every day actions.” The self restraint and compromise falling usually in the lap of the man.

            Obviously these terms can get used out of context, because people don’t understand their roots, and is perpetuated so people don’t learn their roots. The execution is what really determines the polarity. I hold doors open for guys, as well as girls, but I don’t go out of my way to pull a chair out for anyone who’s physically capable of doing it themselves. It’s about applying thought to your actions, and not just doing what you’ve been programmed to do.

            I’ll take thoughtful, over any form of programming, such as politeness, manners, or courtesy any day.

          • Kaiser679 December 18, 2014 at 2:47 pm #

            You’re being ridiculous. You kinow what other words start with man?

            Mange/mangy, mania/manic, manhole, manure, etc. etc.

            So I guess all these words are sexist as well, depicting men as mentally unstable, diseased, and akin to feces and sewers? Sometimes a series of 3 letters in a word is just that. You don’t have to try and read sexism into everything. My hope is that you’re being facetious in that statement because of your clear aversion to any form of societal norm, no matter how benign and well-meaning, and you don’t ACTUALLY think there’s an implicit sexism in the existence of accepted structures of courtesy. But I guess it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if you DID. Some people are so eager to feel that they’re different and special, they will convince themselves of the most contrived stories to give themselves a reason to scoff at anything resembling conformity.

            Manners are, for the most part, not gender specific and apply to both sides of the fence. As for the ones that ARE gender specific, there are rules constraining the behavior of both genders (clearly, as shown here) so all you’ve done is give your own personal opinion of the balance and it’s an opinion.

            As for the comment about “programming”, again, you speak to the concept itself as is everyone is equally limited. Programming suggests it’s ingrained in us to do these things automatically, without choice. I know I for one (and many others I know) do not operate that way, but when society has grown to accept these things as a gesture of respect, we have those in our toolbox to use as such. It’s no different than how language (just as, if not more, akin to programming than any of this, and one you seem to have no issue with.) i.e. in the English language, we’ve decided that the series of sounds making up the word “apple” indicates a given fruit and similarly the same system of societal symbolism has decided that the actions listed above show respect and affection. You don’t have to be “programmed” to do something to see that doing it communicates certain intentions, and use that symbolism.

            But sure, you go ahead and shirk politeness and decency if it makes you feel all subversive and cool. Personally, as long as the behavior is not detrimental to me or anyone else, I consider them all useful tools to be employed when appropriate for the sake of communication. A real man (or woman) can show their individuality without having to sacrifice and disrespect even the parts of societal convention that are useful and help us coexist. Shirking that doesn’t make you special, it just makes you kind of a hipster asshole.

          • Steven Phillips December 20, 2014 at 4:36 am #

            Haha, ad homenim, red herrings, projection… well done.

            Aside from those words (and your synonyms for them) certainly having masculine connotation, programing doesn’t “override” free will. That’s like saying a soldier in the army doesn’t have to salute if he doesn’t want to, or you don’t have to say “bless you” when someone sneezes. Of course it’s a choice, but it doesn’t mean people don’t still do those things without thinking, or without consequence. Even if you volunteer away your thought, or free will, it’s not less a form of control. If anything, it makes the control far move covert if when you actually do think about it, you tell yourself it is your choice. It’s like being addicted to caffeine, or nicotine. Even if you know you can quit, the fact that it seems harmless, or is so readily available is ultimately what makes it a challenge to stop. In this case it’s certainly the apparent lack of harm.

            It would also be very expected for you to take the overtly polarized view of it, as if thinking for your self means being “a hipster ass hole.” A thoughtful person could easily find ways of coexisting peacefully, and even in entertaining fashion, without adhering to said social norms. But as I said in the first sentence, it’s not about holding a door open for a “person” or saying “excuse me” when you want pass someone. It’s really a matter of asking yourself, “Would I perform this gesture for a male just as I’m doing it for a female?”

          • Alan Eskew December 22, 2014 at 6:03 pm #

            Steven Please never display your lack of knowledge of etymology of language. You lower the intelligence of the Internet. You talk a lot about roots but obliviously have no command of the English language. You are just trying to justify your slobbing and uncouth behavior. You don’t do those things, not because you think of them as equals, but because you just don’t want to take the effort to do it.

          • Steven Phillips December 23, 2014 at 5:59 am #

            Straight to personal attacks, well done. It’s not about documented etymology, but more esoteric linguistical ideologies. It doesn’t matter, it really isn’t important to the argument, and could be ignored.

            As I said, I do things of this nature in a thoughtful respect. The dividing line is whether or not you discriminate with these “manners” or “courtesies” between genders.

            I do not.

          • Alan Eskew December 24, 2014 at 2:42 am #

            Oh it has taken quit a bit of reading of your responses on this board to recognize your delusional Ideas of Chivalric behavior. What pushed me over was you lazy argument on the makeup of the word. Blame my English teacher mother. The prefix of Mann in a word usually denotes (in Latin) the hand, like “Manual Labor”.

            All I’ve seen you do was denounce those who hold themselves (or try to) above the rest. You call it misogynist when the intentions clearly are not. You cause people to justify themselves just because they want to be good Men and making them feel bad for showing courteous behavior. That I find deplorable.

          • Steven Phillips December 24, 2014 at 9:47 pm #

            …aaaaand on to the projection.

            I’m not saying anyone’s intentions are misogynist. Most people just do what they are taught, or what they are told without thinking about it. The “misogynist intentions” are centuries old, older than chivalry itself. How could I possibly be accusing anyone in this day an age of “misogynist intentions” by adhering to a set of behaviors that was glorified in medieval times?

            If your definition of a “good man” is one who does what he’s told, then we simply have different definitions of what “good” is. If a person doesn’t think about what they are being told to do, and what they are being told to do is misogynist, is that person still good?

          • Fed up with psychopaths. December 11, 2014 at 3:59 am #

            Chivalry is the original for m of feminism. Men are disposable and Women are much more valuable which is clearly indicated by this load of sexist claptrap.

          • Eric December 30, 2014 at 12:49 am #

            Shining example of why so many just don’t bother anymore. If you are courteous and chivalrous, you’re not treating her like an equal and are therefore sexist. If you treat her like an equal, you’re using it as an excuse to not be chivalrous and are therefore a misogynist.

        • Shazzbaa December 15, 2014 at 5:34 pm #

          I don’t think it’s bad to offer — you only become sexist and gross when you assume. It’s not bad to be kind.

          The important thing is, if someone values that kind of “chivalrous” outlook and wants to operate that way, he has to be more interested in what makes her comfortable than in KEEPING THE RULES. So if you ask, “may I take your coat,” and she says “no thanks” or you pull out her chair and she says “oh geez will you cut that out” — you apologise for overstepping rather than being sore about it. But it isn’t bad to offer — some ladies would be really touched by it!

          I don’t think the original gentlemen rules were necessarily a bad thing. It’s super easy for some heterosexual guys to fall into believing that women owe them something or are objects to be controlled (see: anywhere where men are on the internet) and these ideas try to reject that by treating women as if they were a higher class. The gentlemen rules aren’t GOOD RULES ACROSS THE BOARD IN EVERY SITUATION AND WITH EVERY PERSON, but the attitude of respect isn’t bad. I think you can offer these things with that attitude — as long as it comes from that place of respect and service rather than overbearing control.

          The marriage thing is a good example. If you look at that and imagine a man and woman who love each other, want to marry each other, and he asks for the family’s blessing because he doesn’t want to become a reason for strain between her and her family, then that’s quite sweet and thoughtful! If you imagine a man who believes that only men have rights so the woman’s desires are less important than the father’s, that’s pretty gross!

          It’s not the action itself, it’s the attitude with which it’s carried out. I think you have to be really careful, with chivalry, about your attitude, but that doesn’t make chivalry bad. Some ladies appreciate it, and some don’t! I don’t really, but if a guy tried to be chivalrous to me but was willing to appreciate that it makes me uncomfortable and rein it in, I think that’s okay and I don’t resent him for offering.

          • ZahraGem5 December 23, 2014 at 3:28 am #

            exactly, it’s all about intent.

      • Richard Stanford December 10, 2014 at 2:56 am #

        My thoughts on each point made for too long of a comment but I’ll include them here:

      • WTF December 15, 2014 at 4:48 am #

        what a crock of shit. I’m not having it. Women today are nowhere near the way they were when any of this stuff was applicable and common place. Do that now and the woman will walk all over you.

        • Evan Byrne December 20, 2014 at 8:17 pm #

          Well, there is a difference between being classy and being a wimp that gets walked all over by women. That said though, a few of the suggestions in the article would make you look like a buffoon if practiced in non-formal settings. You shouldn’t behave the same way at a 5-star restaurant as you would over a cup of coffee. Context is key, which is what this article is missing.

          • WTF December 21, 2014 at 9:07 am #

            spoken like a true pussy. how about posting your own comment instead of replying to mine? Just wanted to argue right?

          • Guest December 21, 2014 at 2:54 pm #

            Because it was a response to your comment? Jeez WTF indeed…

          • WTF December 22, 2014 at 1:32 am #

            Golly gee, Wally. fuck off, vagine

      • Shannon Lisa McElroy December 16, 2014 at 1:16 am #

        If a guy asks my dad for permission to marry me…I’m not marrying that guy. End of story. That’s not polite or courteous. It’s a way of telling me that my thoughts and feelings don’t matter. I’m still a “little girl” that needs daddy’s approval to live my life.

        If that’s the thought process of the typical “gentleman” then I’ll gladly stay with the guy I’m with right now. He treats me as an equal and still does most of the stuff on that list for me. The catch is, I do a lot of it for him too. We love and respect each other.

        I see HIM as a person who is worthy of greater honor than myself…and he views ME as a person in the same way. Because of that…it’s impossible for one of us to put the other ahead. We are always on equal ground. That’s how a real relationship should be.

        • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 9:49 pm #

          I think you’re assuming extra intent there that doesn’t exist. Maybe you just don’t understand the tradition. It’s not a matter of “ask her father, if she says yes you’re getting married”. In a sense what a guy would ask for is the father’s permission to ASK you to marry him. Your “thoughts and feelings” as you say it definitely matter, cause he’s still going to ask YOU.

          I think the meaning of this gesture has shifted over the years, but still has a place. Back in the day it was a matter of the father was seen as the protector, even when a woman was grown, so the man was showing his good intentions by not trying to be evasive and do it behind said protector’s back.

          Today I think it’s more a sign of respect to an older generation. For many of them, this is how they were raised, and it’s a way of showing respect to the father (or both parents in a sense) and creating a stronger relationship with them. After all, if you’re going to be joining somebody’s family, small courtesy’s like this aren’t a lot to give up to strengthen those bonds.

          In both cases, I think it’s been less of an “it’s your decision, since she can’t make up her own mind.” and more of a “It’s my intention to ask her, but as a sign of respect I’d really like for you to be okay with it.”

          • Emburr January 15, 2015 at 11:28 am #

            Why not suggest that a man first ask a woman to marry him, and if she says yes, THEN ask for her parents (not just fathers, because fathers do NOT own their daughters) blessing to join the family?

        • avengeflipper December 22, 2014 at 9:21 pm #

          It’s a sign of respect towards your father. Not a sign of disrespect towards you. He’s still going to ask you and not offer your dad ten bucks and a couple of goats (or whatever the going rate is.)

        • ZahraGem5 December 23, 2014 at 3:38 am #

          It’s about the intentions of the man asking the father for permission, not the act itself. They’re still our parents, and IMO I don’t see anything wrong with them asking permission to marry their daughter. I think it’s respectful in the sense that our parents will always look out for us and have our backs, and the man asking the father shows he respects him and wants his blessing. What’s wrong with getting the parents blessings? But if a man asks the father with the intent of asking for permission because he thinks she is a piece of property and thinks of her as lesser than him, then no that is not respectful or courteous. But you can’t assume either way, every situation is different and only the lady truly knows her man and whether or not he views her as an equal and has immense respect for her as well.

      • Emburr January 15, 2015 at 10:52 am #

        And that is the problem Len Pine. I’m a woman who wants to be treated like an equal, not as some weak person who is worthy of greater “honor” than a man. Most of the women I know agree.

        • Ryan Jones March 14, 2015 at 12:34 am #

          That totally makes sense. Seeing this advice in the article, telling men they’re no good unless they always pick up the check on the first date and on all dates must piss you off. What, women can’t work and make just has much money as a man? And they can’t spend it any way they please?

      • Pat January 17, 2015 at 12:16 am #

        Yeah, I can see how highly you think of women when you say they’re indistinguishable from sickly men.

      • Ryan Jones March 14, 2015 at 12:20 am #

        That’s exactly right, Len. If you put her on a pedestal, she’ll have no choice but to look up to you and admire you. So basic. Men who get this and do this are adored by women.

    • MotherGinger December 6, 2014 at 3:34 pm #

      You have simply never heard what being a gentleman was actually about. Think about the word. Christianity revolted against the idea that “might makes right.” (Yes, there were people who failed to follow this rule, from laymen to popes – history clearly lists them as failures and not as representing actual Christian doctrine.) It promoted the scandalous and humbling idea that the strong should *protect* the weak, rather than dominate them. That’s where the “gentle man” idea came from. If someone is physically weaker than you for any reason at all, instead of dominating that person, you show service to that person instead, to level the playing field. And since almost all women are weaker than almost all (healthy) men, that relationship was encoded in “chivalry.” The same rules apply if the other person is sick, very young, old, handicapped, etc. You lovingly serve, rather than dominate, with your physical advantages.

      Has chivalry and the concept of gentleman been twisted and abused at times? Sure. But where it came from is as modern a value as any – peace, coexistence, and goodness to others, even when – no, especially when – you might be able to rule them with your physical strength.

      • Tug Brice December 11, 2014 at 8:38 pm #

        Nail, head. I was raised as a southern gentleman of the old school. Which means that, aside from 20 and 21, all of these apply to women, the elderly or infirm, those in difficulty, etc. Usually I start my approach with a very polite “Would you like some assistance” or “May I help you?” Always a question, never an assumption.

        #20, I try to never hit anyone. Any woman who hits me first has lost any special status she may have had, unless I really deserved it. #21, the only time I’d discuss it with parents of any kind is AFTER I discussed it with my bride to be. Respect the individual above all else.

        • Emburr January 15, 2015 at 11:43 am #

          Is it so hard to walk away instead of “trying” to not hit someone? Yes, even if someone hit you first, learn to be a better person and walk away. You’re admitting you could have anger issues and be a violent person. Why do you think that’s ok?

          • Ryan Jones March 14, 2015 at 12:43 am #

            That’s an easy one. No, it’s not hard to walk away. This is how it works. A woman hits you in the face. For her part, she might be drunk or mad at you about something. Her reason really doesn’t matter. After she hits you in the face, you just turn and walk away. Or, if you’re a real gentleman, you say “I’m sorry you’re feeling that way and felt the need to hit me in the face.” That’s what a real man does. And real men are never angry or violent—no matter what a woman does.

          • Tug Brice April 21, 2015 at 11:06 pm #

            Valid point, well made, if a bit on the trollish side. Despite that, your question deserves a well thought out answer, which I will now provide.

            A bit of background first. I am in my mid 30s. I have bipolar disorder, which I have spent years in therapy to control. I take medication daily. While this is a part of my life, I have compensated well enough to get my BS in psychology (while holding down a full time job) and I was just accepted to a Master’s program.

            I consider myself a follower of the Buddha, if not exactly a Buddhist. I believe in many of the teachings and ways of Buddhism, but without a lot of the trappings around it.

            I have also had, over the years, a LOT of martial arts experience. During my years of therapy, and also because I love it, I studied a number of different styles. Because I was not healthy during that time, I never stuck with any of them for very long. This makes my experience broad, not deep. I have also spent a considerable amount of time studying military strategy and tactics, though I have never been trained as a professional soldier or peace officer.

            I also have had some significant experience with physical violence. When I was young, before I was diagnosed, my manic phases manifested as an irrational and violent temper. I got into many fights, some of which I started, some of which I was forced into.

            This will help you understand the context of my answer.

            1. Sometimes it is impossible to escape physical conflict. There are times where violence is thrust upon you whether you like it or not, and there are no ways to escape it. In the context of gentlemanly behavior, this doesn’t really apply, but it is one of the reasons I said “try”. If violence is forced upon me, I will respond in the most effective way possible.

            2. 99% of the time, de-escalation and escape are the most effective ways of dealing with the physical conflict referred to in the context of the article. Because I have experienced violent conflict, because I am a Buddhist and because I HAVE had anger issues and have absolutely no wish to revisit that time of my life, that is what I will do. If someone hits me first, I will act to de-escalate the situation. Research into the Prisoner’s Dilemma has show that in repeated iterations, forgiveness is a valid, and often winning strategy. Only if someone hits me repeatedly and shows no response to de-escalation will I respond with violence only if I can’t escape, and even then, I will act to minimize the damage to the aggressor while preventing the him or her from harming me or anyone else again.

            3. Sometimes you have to act in the defense of others. I will take a punch and try to talk through it. If someone takes a swing at my friends, I will act to restrain them from doing it again (if necessary) and de-escalate from there.

            4. I DON’T think that that casual violence is okay. If I have reached a point where I’m in violent conflict, that means several things have already gone wrong. De-escalation has failed, escape has failed and now I’ve been forced into a worst case scenario.

            I hope that clarifies my position in regards to violence.

      • Donder33 January 4, 2015 at 5:17 pm #

        In Sunday school it is the put yourself third rule. God first, others second, and yourself third.

    • nmtaxes December 10, 2014 at 12:06 pm #

      With all the other stuff how VanHee treat her like and equal

    • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 9:28 pm #

      I see nothing here implying NOT treating them as an equal, either. This is an article about manners, not about gender politics.

      • Emburr January 15, 2015 at 11:52 am #

        Wrong, it is an article about both of those things. Do people REALLY think that a man asking another man PERMISSION to marry his daughter is not implying that the father owns the daughter? It’s completely disrespectful and insulting, because the guy is saying that the woman is a piece of property. The man (or woman; I proposed in my case), should ask his partner for marriage first, and then if she says yes it’s nice to have a discussion with her family (including her mother), saying something such as “do I have your blessing to join this family?”

        • Kris Wolfe January 19, 2015 at 6:35 pm #

          It’s not about gender politics, it’s an article about manners and respect (stated in the opening of the article). What your proposing is nothing different than what’s proposed in the article, except that the discussion takes place before the engagement.

  7. Danielzinho December 4, 2014 at 3:51 pm #

    This article is stupid. Let someone write an article telling modern women how to act like a lady and watch the shit hit the fan for days. Anyone who actually judges people based on their conformity to this (mostly) arbitrary bullshit deserves to get repeatedly slapped in the face with a glove.

    • Danielzinho December 4, 2014 at 3:56 pm #

      I take back the “mostly arbitrary bullshit” comment. Most if it is just common sense that anyone who actually cares for a girl would do anyway. It’s the explanations that are idiotic. Waiting to sit until every woman sits? Walking on the outside of the walk?

  8. Sam December 5, 2014 at 6:56 am #

    Some of this is just stuff people should do for other people. You should generally be on time and listen properly no matter who you’re dealing with what ever the gender of that person. All the idea of the “gentleman and his lady” has ever done or will ever do is continue sexism. How about this: decent people should treat other people with respect and kindness no matter their gender. I especially have problems with 8, 12, and 21. People can generally be trusted to put on and take off their own clothes thank you very much. While it is nice to pay for dinner sometimes as a gesture doing so all the time even when she doesn’t want you too shows that you don’t respect her ability to make her own money. Finally #21 really pisses me off. Her father has absolutely no fucking say in what she does or who she marries after she leaves home. This tradition comes from a time when women were considered property and the father was transferring ownership of her. In a modern, enlightened society this is bullshit.

    • Jeff W December 7, 2014 at 4:29 am #

      Have you bothered to read the reasoning for asking the family for a blessing. Are you stupid? Your gutter mouth in this thread already shows a lack of civility. If you think by spraying profanity we are intimidated….you’re wrong. Your Jedi mind tricks only work on the weak minded.

      • Richard Stanford December 9, 2014 at 5:10 pm #

        “Are you stupid? Your gutter mouth in this thread already shows a lack of civility.”

        Now that’s an example of the pot calling the kettle black if ever I’ve seen one.

        As for the “blessing” comments, why should the man ask the wife’s family for a blessing but the woman not ask the husband’s family for one? What do wanting to get along with your future in-laws have to do with gender in the first place?

        • Jeff W December 10, 2014 at 3:49 am #

          She is certainly entitled and free to ask for their blessing. Since the man is initiating the marriage proposal it seems fitting for him to ask for her parents blessing. I would hope he has already discussed his plans with his parents so there should be no surprise. Going to her parents also is a sign of respect so THEY aren’t surprised. These are ideal actions. Not always possible but, I believe, the ideal way to move forward in a potential marriage.

          • Lola December 10, 2014 at 4:20 pm #

            I think some people are confused and mistaken about what it means to ask for a woman’s hand. Asking for a woman’s hand is not asking for a blessing or giving notification. It’s asking for permission — permission granted by the father, not the bride-to-be. The father gives the woman to the man in a transfer of ownership, and that’s beyond anachronistic and worthy of some f-bomb outrage, IMO.

          • Jeff W December 11, 2014 at 1:06 am #

            That’s what it USED to mean. Here, I believe, we are saying that it is about asking for the blessing of the family. If they do not approve…..well then it is up to her isn’t it? SO in the end..She has the power.

          • Evan Byrne December 20, 2014 at 8:24 pm #

            If it doesn’t matter what the father says, then why ask in the first place? It is clearly an empty gesture.

          • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 10:03 pm #

            If we were in the 1800s, you’d be correct. That’s not the case now. Nobody goes and asks a father, then just informs the bride to be that she’s getting married, and to claim otherwise is deliberate dishonesty (because I don’t believe for one second that you actually believe that’s the case today). THEN, men were asked for their daughter’s hand in marriage. Nowadays, in the civilized world, they’re sometimes asked for what many would call their “blessing” (I wish I could find a better word but I’m failing at the moment).

            How something used to be isn’t necessarily the way it is.

        • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 10:00 pm #

          Again you’ve failed at one very base level of understanding. NONE of this article, in any way, tells women how to act. it’s not saying “men do this, women do this.” or “men expect your women to do this.” It’s simply making suggestions TO MEN how to be civil and polite. How the woman acts along with that is a seperate issue for a seperate article on a seperate site. Why should a man ask is a valid question. My answer would be that I personally would most likely do it as a sign of respect. After all, gender completely beside the point if somebody was going to be joining my family I would think a simple “How would you feel about me joining your family?” would come across more respectful and polite than “Surprise! Guess what, you’re stuck with me now, like it or not!”

          However, the “…but the woman not ask” is a non-sequitor. Nobody said whether women should or not. As I said to your previous comment, just because men are encouraged to do something doesn’t IN ANY WAY mean women are obligated to act in any particular way in return. It’s the classic “You worry about you act, and let them worry about how they act.”

  9. terre08 December 5, 2014 at 5:25 pm #

    Apparently you live in the wrong century. The last one is plainly ridiculous, are you going to pay her dad for her hand in marriage with a horse, a couple of sheep etc. like “in the good old days”? She is not a chattel.

  10. Apartheid World December 5, 2014 at 7:03 pm #

    What happens to being equal? Looks to me with rules like this woman are still inferior week and frail with no mind. This is 2014, get with the program woman want to be treated as equals and just like men from pay to status. All this 1800’s stuff does is belittle woman and make them look like gold diggers or property to be won.

    • Alex Let December 5, 2014 at 11:30 pm #

      Not weak, not frail, not even close. Deserving of respect, absolutely. I respect both men and women equally, I just express it differently for each. It is important to note, that me having respect for you, and me treating you respectfully, are two very different things. I treat everyone with respect. Period. That is how I was raised. But for me to respect you, to admire you, that is a state of mind and for men that has to be earned, for women it is a given until they prove through their actions it is undeserved. And even when someone, male or female, loses my respect, I will still treat them respectfully. Understand, I view everyone as being socially equal, all on a level playing field. I follow the practices outlined on this list because I was taught to treat women with respect. We should be paid the same, be able to hold the same jobs, in other words, be socially equal, but that does not mean that I wont treat women with respect different from that I show to men. And while I know that men are naturally physically stronger than women (If you don’t believe that you’re deluding yourself) I also know that there are many women capable of matching or exceeding men in many physical fields. This capacity for diversity is why I believe we should have equal opportunities. I’m still going to treat women with respect. I guess my point is, that being equal socially does not mean we are exactly the same. We’re not. There are inherent differences between men and women. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. And until that changes, I am still going to treat women like they are special, because they are. Life would suck without them, and I appreciate the women in my life more than anything. So I will treat them with the gratitude and respect they deserve.

  11. Sam December 5, 2014 at 9:13 pm #

    This is not sad it means that women are seeing themselves as equal and eventually chauvinists like you are going to have to either accept that or die off. I honestly don’t care which.

    • MotherGinger December 6, 2014 at 3:41 pm #

      Wrong. The original point of chivalry was to try to create an even social playing field despite the obvious and non-deniable reality that the vast majority of women are physically weaker than the vast majority of (healthy) men.

      Think about it – life could really suck if you were born with no legs and no one ever tried to accommodate you or level the playing field so you could participate equally in society. I am more than happy to make my life a little more inconvenient (parking further away, disrupting architecture with wheelchair ramps, I am sure you can think of better examples) so that those with any kind of physical or mental disability can participate more fully in society … to level the playing field, since neither of us had anything to do with the physical status we were born with.

      The same is true of chivalry – it’s making a more even playing field for life by helping men to realize that the job of a decent person is not to do the obvious thing (use his physical strength to dominate), but to do the better thing (use his physical strength to serve).

      Men and women ARE equal on the social/work/financial/etc. field, but ONLY because men have learned to compensate for the innate lack of equality on the physical field. If men had never learned this, we couldn’t be having this conversation today about how men and women are the same. Being a chauvinist (using strength to lord it over women) is exactly the opposite from being a chivalrous man. Both are ways of recognizing the duh! reality that men are mostly (much) stronger than women. If we don’t remember that that strength must be used to serve, it will go back to being used to dominate … and yes, that’s already happening.

      • MotherGinger December 6, 2014 at 3:44 pm #

        By the way, this applies to all who are obviously physically weaker – handicapped, very young, old, parents to their children, etc. The lesson is that “might doesn’t make right.” It’s a lesson of peace and equality by willfully reducing some of your privilege that you were born with and never earned.

      • Jeff W December 7, 2014 at 4:26 am #

        Great comment!!!

  12. Alex Let December 5, 2014 at 11:06 pm #

    Laughing is not the point. The point is not being obnoxious and overbearing. Of course you can laugh. The idea is that a respectful and considerate person will avoid seeming to demand attention. That said, this also takes into account your company. If your friends are boisterous, then it stands to reason that you will behave in like manner. However, that should not be your default, because most of society does not reflect it. In most situations, a reserved individual will be better received than an obnoxious one.

  13. Trevor Ware December 6, 2014 at 10:21 am #

    Thank you. She is my role model , and best supporter.

  14. MotherGinger December 6, 2014 at 3:28 pm #

    It’s less “permission” and more “blessing.” A wise couple seeks the advice of both sets of parents because parents are older, wiser, and may have useful objective analysis that love-blind suitors may not. I actually married my husband against my father’s advice, but only did so after seeking that advice (and my husband sought his blessing) and both of us deeply weighing and pondering it. In the end, we did get their blessing, because they saw factors such as the very maturity that sought to receive the blessing and weigh it.

    • Lola December 10, 2014 at 4:16 pm #

      What you’re talking about is a different thing altogether. Asking the father for the woman’s hand is about asking permission from the father. The father gets the yea or nay, and that tradition dates back to when a woman was not her own person. She belonged to her father (or other male relative) and would be “given away.” That tradition says a woman’s word doesn’t matter — what matters is that the father grant his permission. If a man wants to ask her parents (both mother and father) for their blessing and the bride wants his parents’ blessing, that’s lovely and a good way to start blending the families, but that’s not what #21 says. Some of these things are cloaked in pleasantries, but they are covers for some pretty pernicious beliefs rooted in the idea that women are lesser and need to be controlled for “their own good.”

  15. Jenice December 6, 2014 at 8:18 pm #

    yes I think Trevor has an exceptional mother! wow!

  16. Jeff W December 7, 2014 at 4:23 am #

    I don’t let their actions dictate mine.

  17. Whothehell Cares December 7, 2014 at 6:26 am #

    Chivalry is dead and so it should be. It has nothing to do with being a gentleman. Women are equals not princesses on pedestals.

  18. Fraga123 December 7, 2014 at 9:23 am #

    22. During divorce negotiations, she gets the kids, house, and alimony.

    That is why chivalry is dead, gentlemen.

  19. Faustina11 December 7, 2014 at 12:51 pm #

    what do you mean by “forced and religious”?

  20. SimonLeigh December 7, 2014 at 1:02 pm #

    I was taught to do all these, though some women are not keen to have the man open a door for her, as if she’s too weak. So being attentive matters.

  21. krossoverking December 7, 2014 at 1:43 pm #

    Meh, fuck most of these.

  22. CatoYounger December 7, 2014 at 4:16 pm #

    Its nice to see a “real man” list actually written by a man! Great list. Great reminder. I realize that I’ve let myself get “talked out of” a few of these by our modern society. Traditional gentlemanly behavior towards ladies is NOT because they are being thought of as weak, but because they are being honored and respected.

  23. scanspeak December 7, 2014 at 9:31 pm #

    Yes men were chivalrous and were demonized as patriarchal oppressors because of it. Then we stopped caring.

    • Kitty December 8, 2014 at 5:38 am #

      I assure you, kind sir, it was not your chivalry that would have caused your demonization.

  24. PutiePie13 December 8, 2014 at 4:08 pm #

    Sounds like a checklist for limp-wristed, white knight dorks. Grow some balls.

  25. J-dawg December 8, 2014 at 10:08 pm #

    More absurdly inaccurate psychoanalysis from clueless internet commenters. Sorry, but I have the self respect to know that I can be treated like an equal without falling to pieces. I have the self respect to not demand to be elevated above the level of others just to feel like I am being treated “properly.” Many of the “gentlemanly” behaviors listed were simple common decency that should be granted regardless of the gender of either party. Others were completely ridiculous relics meant to round out a poorly-conceived fluff piece. The way they were presented was the part that really stank. Have fun being high maintenance – some men like that because it gives them an easy way to feel more masculine.

  26. Karen Long December 8, 2014 at 10:27 pm #

    I love this list!

  27. Michael P. Tuan December 9, 2014 at 3:14 am #

    Thank you very much to the author. I made my personal review and my wife can say if I am passed on that.

  28. Ninty December 9, 2014 at 8:13 am #

    So why is it that each tradition is titled in a way that clearly involves consideration of a female? There’s being nice in general, and then there’s being selectively nice, which is what most of these traditions are.

    • Guest December 16, 2014 at 10:04 pm #

      Of course it’s about being selectively nice. Everybody IS selectively nice. You will no doubt be nicer to someone you’re dating, or interested in, than you would be in say the random guy at the urinal next to you. That’s just obvious.

    • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 10:06 pm #

      Of course it’s being selectively nice. Naturally someone will be nicer to somebody they are interested in, dating, etc. than they will to a random stranger. That’s just patently obvious. I will absolutely pay for dinner when I’m dining with a woman I have an interest in. Chances are, if it’s some random male friend who is of equal financial standing and no prior arrangement was made, I’m most likely going to ask for separate bills. What’s the problem?

      • Ninty December 18, 2014 at 10:38 pm #

        What does any of that have to do with what Nobody Important (the guy I replied to) said? He seemed to be implying people in the comments see being nice as being insulting, which is incorrect.

        This is why I pointed out being selectively nice, but you’re right; that’s not the sole issue. It’s the unspoken misogyny in this list that others have mentioned here. Yes, nowhere does it say women can’t do these things for men (defenders of this list are saying that) but that’s also the issue. Where is a list for women that mirrors this one?

  29. Aaron Aquipel Avelino December 9, 2014 at 8:44 am #

    This is why feminism will never be absolute.

  30. Richard Stanford December 9, 2014 at 2:47 pm #

    So does she also ask permission to marry into your family? After all, she’s joining them just as much as you’re joining her family, right?

    • Kris Wolfe December 10, 2014 at 3:28 am #

      Richard, you’ve commented more than anyone on this article, and yet you also take many of the points out of context. The traditions were born from researching etiquette books from the past on how a gentleman should act. The original article provided actual references, but for the sake of creating a blog, we took most of the references out. Nowhere does it say a man has to ask permission to marry a daughter today. It says it’s respectful to do so, and I stand by that. One of my best friends asked her father and he said no, but they still got married. The point is, act out of respect and honor people.

      • Richard Stanford December 10, 2014 at 2:22 pm #

        I’ll move away then, but in answer to your point about “Nowhere does it say a man has to ask permission,” you did actually write, “The 21st century gentleman asks her father for her hand because it’s respectful and courteous”.

        I agree that many if not all of these are historical, but figure that when you say that they “still apply today” that you were implying that these, well, still applied today.

        • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 10:10 pm #

          You quoted exactly right. It’s a suggestion. It doesn’t say he HAS to. It also doesn’t say “a woman must not…” (or anything about the woman’s behavior at all) every one of your comments sounds like the down-trodden whinings of a disgruntled MRA (or a child who was told to clean up his room or do the dishes, but responds to every request with “Why doesn’t she have to!?!?!” and a stomp of the feet).

      • Emburr January 15, 2015 at 12:04 pm #

        It’s actually very disrespectful towards a woman for a man to ask their father permission to marry them. Anyone who does that is sexist because he is saying that the father owns the daughter and he wants to take ownership. It’s the same as if one man is trying to buy a house from the other. Do you believe that modern day slavery is honourable Kris?

        • Kris Wolfe January 19, 2015 at 6:37 pm #

          I just replied back to your other post. I believe you’re taking a very extreme stance, and no, I don’t believe in modern day slavery.

    • Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 10:07 pm #

      Again we come down to expecting a site specifically offering advice to men to also be implicitly advising women. Do you ever get tired of kicking the same irrelevant dead horse?

  31. Richard Stanford December 9, 2014 at 2:55 pm #

    Are you inherently more likely to fall than he is, especially if he’s carrying all of your bags as advised?

    • Moktadir December 10, 2014 at 2:27 pm #

      I wonder who’s likely to get hurt more. Oh, wait, gender equality must mean that women will take just as much damage falling down the stairs as men!

  32. Kris Wolfe December 10, 2014 at 4:30 am #

    Mike I updated #5 to reflect LOL for the sake of attention, which was the original intention.

  33. Kris Wolfe December 10, 2014 at 4:31 am #

    I’m completely the guy who laughs really loud, but this was meant more in the context of trying to be loud to gain attention. I was just trying to use a relevant example.

  34. nmtaxes December 10, 2014 at 12:05 pm #

    These are old school in an equal opportunity society these aren’t required. It should be equal respect and treatment if each other. I test my son equality and woman should open the door for man sometimes also

  35. nmtaxes December 10, 2014 at 12:06 pm #

    Did you teach them not to hit a man?

  36. Lola December 10, 2014 at 4:02 pm #

    Some of these are fine considerations of a person that you care about, but others not. For example, asking the father for her hand in marriage is horrifying to me. It dates back to a time when she is property of her father until she’s given away. It says her word isn’t enough. It definitively treats the woman as if she is not her own person. If she’s old enough to marry, then she’s old enough to speak for herself. There’s also the subtle implication that a woman’s sexuality is not her own, her body is not her own. Makes me crazy. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to establish a good relationship with her family, but permission to marry is granted by the person getting married. I think the best rules are those that are about being kind, considerate and helpful to your partner — regardless of gender — and respecting them as people, not property.

  37. Lola December 10, 2014 at 4:24 pm #

    If a man’s feeling masculine is predicated on my being lesser or treated like an inadequate and incapable adult, then it’s not real masculinity. Masculinity comes from within. And anger is a reasonable response to having one’s humanity squelched as a matter of course and “etiquette.”

  38. Einelorelei December 10, 2014 at 5:52 pm #

    Nobody should be hitting anybody.

    • Bob McMahan December 16, 2014 at 6:00 pm #

      It would be nice to live in your world. In the real world, we sometimes have to hit, and not with fists only.

  39. rrr December 10, 2014 at 6:52 pm #

    Not every woman in the world is worthy of this treatment though.

  40. Todd Szuch December 10, 2014 at 8:01 pm #

    Yet doing any of these will not get you a ladies attention now a days. doing the opposite and acting like a ‘thug’ or ‘with swag’ or with no respect for women gets the girls.

  41. Sara Hals December 10, 2014 at 9:22 pm #

    …Does this make me (a 19-y/o girl) a gentleman? I would automatically do almost all of these things for anyone without even thinking – it’s just the way I was raised. My dad taught me to always be respectful of everyone, and to never be too proud to help someone. My step-mom (who I met at age 12) taught me how to sew, cook, clean, manage a household, and overall act like a lady. Of course, this has lead to me being told I act too much like a guy…but that’s beside the point.
    For all I act like a guy, even I appreciate being protected at times.
    In regards to the whole “sexism” thing…really?
    It’s only sexist or patronizing if you make it that way.
    I know a good number of guys who would love to be treated this way, and in fact, most of them have girlfriends that do treat them like this. At the same time, there’s girls who would find it patronizing. It all depends on the person.
    Now, can we all grow up and get past the “that’s sexist” stage and treat each other respectfully regardless of gender?

  42. Jeff W December 11, 2014 at 1:07 am #

    You are asking for a blessing. Not permission. THe permission to marry comes from the woman. Sounds like a good deal for her. You guys need to lighten up.

  43. Fed up with psychopaths. December 11, 2014 at 4:07 am #

    If a woman offers to “go dutch” on the first date I will pay for her, if not, not only do I not pay for her,but I never date her again. Respect goes both ways.

  44. Meggie Russell December 11, 2014 at 4:49 am #

    An important lesson: While good men will do these things for women, good women will not take advantage of them and take these things for granted. Men, if a women isn’t appreciating you doing these things, don’t just take it. Politely excuse yourself from her life and don’t keep in contact with her.

    Just because you choose to be a gentleman doesn’t mean you have to be a slave to a woman. Yes, it’s polite that you honor her, but if she doesn’t return the favor by honoring you with kind deeds, she doesn’t care. And trust me, a guy like you deserves more than to stay around someone who doesn’t care about the nice things you do. Never forget that.

  45. OrionRed December 11, 2014 at 1:54 pm #

    One exception you missed. The gentleman is always the first or last person on the street when entering/leaving a building. So you open the door for her to go in, but you wait outside. When leaving, you open the door by going through it, then wait.

    This was started to make sure the man could protect/prevent any manhandling by ruffians on the street.

  46. greywulf1064 December 11, 2014 at 4:24 pm #

    Forgot one…put the toilet seat down

  47. Rebekah Nelson December 11, 2014 at 4:44 pm #

    Interesting, but I have to disagree that this is necessary today. Women no longer wear corsets and long, heavy dresses that cause them to be weak and clumsy. The chivalrous code is 99% about code of conduct in battle with very little having to do with treatment of women. Women want and deserve equal rights and we don’t necessarily need or want a man to act like this towards us. Everyone should be treated with courtesy regardless of gender. If I’m going through the door and someone is behind me I will hold the door for them, I don’t expect a man to dash ahead of me and get the door for me just because I’m a woman. If someone is ahead of me going through a door I expect them to show common courtesy and hold the door no matter what gender they are. I don’t need someone to help me with my coat, pull out my chair, stand when I enter, or hold an umbrella for me all the time. And I DEFINITELY did not need my husband to ask my father for permission to marry me (he didn’t ask out of respect for my wishes)…I love and respect my dad and value his advice, but don’t need his permission to get married any more than I would need my husband’s parents’ permission to marry him.

  48. Fraga123 December 11, 2014 at 7:10 pm #

    95% of alimony is paid by men to women.

  49. focus503 December 11, 2014 at 7:32 pm #

    No laughing? Sounds like sassenach bs to me. Apart from that, (and the quite general propriety of the preponderance of these guidelines) let us view a ladies eitquette guide from the nineteenth century. We can do a co-ed walk-thru and decide which rules we should strike together, tit-for proverbial-tat.

  50. KrisGifford December 11, 2014 at 10:11 pm #

    Women should also expect that men will do these things and if they don’t they need to find another man!

  51. Mark Anthony December 12, 2014 at 2:41 am #

    BS, I was raised proper and to be a gent, the problem is most women today don’t appreciate these acts and if you are chivalrous towards them they think your trying to get in their pants or you have some alternate motive. It’s a damn shame imo, women today…….well women from my generation wouldn’t know a gentleman if he fell from the sky and bonked them on the head.

    • CarmenCents December 27, 2014 at 5:50 am #

      “The problem is most women today don’t appreciate these acts and if you are chivalrous towards them they think your trying to get in their pants or you have some alternate motive.” Huh…I wonder if they think that because of personal experience? A clue: Yes. You’re saying your a gentlemen and that you respect ladies, yet you’re saying they’re the problem? Let’s get real, if a woman is feeling uncomfortable with an act that you think should impress her, it’s probably because some other guy, or most likely more than one guy have put her in a situation where she was met with chivalry and then the gentlemen act was dropped and something else was expected of her. I’m all for guys having good manners, but in the world we live in, I’d be a fool if I accepted these gestures at face value. How is a lady to know if your intent is sincere or not? How is she to know if you are respecting her or just helping with her chair so that she’ll go home with you later? Before you start passing the blame to women for why your chivalrous acts have failed, think about why she’s hesitant to appreciate them. There’s a lot of scum out there and a real gentlemen is hard to find. You can’t blame her for being skeptical. That’s the real issue with this list. I agree that these gestures are nice. I do many of them for my husband as a show of my affection and respect. The problem is that for the modern lady who has put up with so much false chivalry from men, this list makes it harder for her to distinguish the “Bring-home-to-meet-the-folks” guy from the “one-night-stand” guy.

  52. Mr Click December 12, 2014 at 4:48 am #

    Regarding #4: Obviously never insult but if you can think of ways to improve a meal someone has cooked and deliver the suggestion in a respectful way, I don’t see the problem. I’m talking about something like “That was great, I loved it! You know what might make it even better? Adding a little [insert spice/ingredient], I think it would complement the flavor really well.”

  53. LMFAO December 12, 2014 at 6:04 am #

    Seeing as so many “ladies” also love talking about equality these days, why don’t y’all write one for them too… 21 traits of a Lady lost that still apply today… Because the idea of “Ladies and Gentleman” go together… And I am sorry there are very few females these days who truly act like ladies… They have lost just as much of that “tradition” as we have… But as usual they want to have the cake and eat too…

    • WTF December 16, 2014 at 9:19 am #

      Its really is as simple as that. Sadly, thats the culture today. Double standards everywhere. Thugs that expect to be treated like schoolboys etc.

  54. Christopher Rhodes December 12, 2014 at 4:44 pm #

    An expansion to #16: don’t just walk/drive her home. Wait there until she is safetly in the house before leaving (even if it takes 20 minutes while she hunts for keys or has to call her roommate to let her in)

  55. gsv67 December 13, 2014 at 2:36 am #

    The author of this article had to be a liberal, since the two pictures were of Obama, and Leonardo DiCaprio, which are 2 big time left wing leaning nut jobs. It surprises me that the author would write such an article, since most liberals loathe women and minorities.

  56. Freethinker01 December 13, 2014 at 3:45 am #

    The social contract was broken a long time ago. Post an equal list of how women are supposed to behave and what they’re supposed to do for men, else I’m not interested. I’ve spent most of my life being chivalrous and don’t see what women have done for me in return. Nor do I see society requiring women to fulfill similar requirements. No, this is not about selfishness. It’s fun to talk about male altruism, but in the end it’s a hollow social contract when the requirements are so lopsided.

  57. Marge December 13, 2014 at 5:14 am #

    I teach my son most of these, but the best way to teach is by example. My husband knows and does most of these. :0) I think he’ll be fine. :0)

  58. Bullshyte December 13, 2014 at 6:22 am #

    Too bad there aren’t any ladies left for us to do these things for.

  59. Mario B. December 13, 2014 at 8:53 pm #

    I’ll do the above when I actually meet a lady. It seems like the feminists have killed them all.

    • CarmenCents December 27, 2014 at 6:01 am #

      Or maybe it’s men posing as gentlemen that have made them skeptical of these actions?

      • RicoSuaveGuapo January 28, 2015 at 2:57 pm #

        What does that even mean, “posing as gentlemen”? If you can’t tell the difference, that’s on you, not them.

  60. Jack_London December 13, 2014 at 8:57 pm #

    When you can make a list of 21 lost gentleman traditions that still apply today, none of which have anything to do with women, only then can you say you truly understand chivalry.

  61. Rhonda Canuel December 15, 2014 at 1:19 am #

    My 18 year old niece married a 33 year old man that already had three kids with two other women prior. If he had ask her Dad for permission to marry her, her Dad would have said “HELL NO” and I would have agree. Nobody in our family wanted this….Fast forward to now, she has two children by him, divorced and gets no child support. There is a good reason for asking a parent for permission to marry their child!

  62. WTF December 15, 2014 at 4:47 am #

    Sorry ladies. You’re the ones that killed chivalry. You always want equal treatment and equal pay until it comes to garbage like this.

    I say, no ma’am.

  63. Mitchell Brown December 15, 2014 at 7:49 am #

    At what point does the woman say to the man: “hey lets go out” and she pays for everything? I’ve paid for the woman’s drinks and meals and have never had a woman pay for me. Even when I’ve dated the girl for a number of months. She’s paid for a few of her own drinks, but no woman, ever, has ever said, “lets go out” and she picks up the tab for me. Never. Ever. Hey ladies, grow some arms and try to reach your wallet. Will never happen.

    • WTF December 16, 2014 at 12:25 am #

      “no woman, ever, has ever said, “lets go out” and she picks up the tab for me.”

      yet they expect equal pay and desire a man who makes more than they do. I’ve been single for 8 years and I am quite happy alone.

    • Jay7027 December 22, 2014 at 4:37 pm #

      I agree. I have always picked up the tab when I’ve asked a man for a date. It’s only fair. You shouldn’t have to pay for a night I invited you on when, otherwise you’d be at home hanging out and relaxing. I’ve even offered to pay for stuff when I was invited out. But my wallet got to the top of my purse and the gentleman had the money on the table already and wouldn’t take a dime. It’s just being polite.

  64. Bob Cole December 15, 2014 at 3:29 pm #

    if women want equal rights, , which they say they do, they should expect equal responsiblity. when women leave the work force and make it easier for a man to make money, then they can go back to expecting us to pay. As it is now, they want their cake and they want to eat it to. My money is our money. Her money is her money. It’s wrong.

    • Jay7027 December 22, 2014 at 4:31 pm #

      I agree that the feminist movement went too far and for women to receive such treatment (gentlemanly) they should behave like ladies. That being said you are totally right that the average female today wants the best of both worlds without giving anything back. As for the dinner check, I always felt it was a reasonable policy that if I invite the man I pay, but if he invites me, he pays.

  65. Shazzbaa December 15, 2014 at 5:02 pm #

    The only one of these I’ll quibble with as a lady is the “pick up the tab” one — BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT THIS unless you know the lady very well and/or are actually dating her and you have both agreed that this is a romantic date. Picking up the tab is regarded by a lot of people as a romantic gesture — I’ll often refuse to allow a guy friend to pick up the tab if I want to make sure there is no mistake that this outing is not romantic, since a lot of guys will just sort of creep in that direction without asking what she thinks. Forcing this on her is sometimes used to insist, “NO, I want to make this a ROMANTIC outing even if you want it to be casual,” which is icky, so make sure you don’t do this in your efforts to be nice!

    As with all these rules, there was a time when they were expected for every man to do for every lady — as this isn’t true any longer, you HAVE TO BE CAREFUL that you’re not accidentally being too affectionate and making her uncomfortable. Absolutely offer to do them, but if you ask “may I take your coat?” or assure her “I can pick up the tab,” give her the chance to say “please don’t,” or “no thanks, I’m good!” or you may come across as overbearing and controlling rather than chivalrous and thoughtful.

    • WTF December 16, 2014 at 12:27 am #

      great example of why you shouldn’t be chivalrous in this day and age

  66. fatalrob0t December 15, 2014 at 9:20 pm #

    I have only one contention with one of these things and that is there is always–Always–a reason to hit a woman and that is when it is absolutely necessary to do so. Think of it as this, would you hit a man that was attacking you? Yes, of course you would. So you should a woman. The same applies to women. You have to stand up for yourself or for others, even against someone you might otherwise never harm.

  67. Payton Alexander December 15, 2014 at 10:09 pm #

    According to Wolfe, the definition of being a gentleman is very wrapped up in the way men treat women. That may be. But should men really want to be gentlemen?

    Masculinity is a thing in and of itself. It is not all about women. The tendency to define masculinity in terms of the way women are treated is a serious problem in society. It shames men who don’t get female approval, and lauds men who debase themselves for attention from women. The men who follow Wolfe in these twenty-one traditions are the men who will trade the respect of their male friends in exchange for female attention. I have seen them. They will shame any man who doesn’t hold the door open for a woman because they think women will respect them. They will betray their own relationships and groups in order to gain the edge in the dating game. They’ll trip each other and tear each other down in their quest to be the one who puts women on the highest pedestal. Respecting women, they tell us, is the cardinal rule of masculinity. Where is their respect for each other?

    This is not the way men should act.

    “A man is not merely a man but a man among men, in a world of men. Being good at being a man has more to do with a man’s ability to succeed with men and within groups of men than it does with a man’s relationship to any woman or any group of women. When someone tells a man to be a man, they are telling him to be more like other men, more like the majority of men, and ideally more like the men whom other men hold in high regard.”

    “Women believe they can improve men by making masculinity about what women want from men. Men want women to want them, but female approval isn’t the only thing men care about. When men compete against each other for status, they are competing for each other’s approval. The women whom men find most desirable have historically been attracted to – or been claimed by – men who were feared or revered by other men. Female approval has regularly been a consequence of male approval.”

    “Masculinity is about being a man within a group of men. Above all things, masculinity is about what men want from each other.” – Jack Donovan, The Way of Men, 2012

    Donovan’s point rings true now more than ever. Those who would ask what makes a ‘real man’ or a ‘good man’ do not ask the question because they are looking for the answer. They begin, “a man should” or “a man ought”, or “a man is not a man unless”. But the answer to what is or is not a man does not start with putting men in boxes. It cannot begin by stating what men can and cannot do. It cannot start with the idea that a man is whatever we say he is, or that he should do what we tell him to do. That is the antithesis of masculinity.

    No, the people who ask these questions do not want answers, but merely to keep asking the question. Through it, they seek control over others. What is remarkable is not that we have found no answer to these questions, but that in recent decades we have only asked them of men. The answer is in the question. When it is asked, it is not answerable. When it is not asked, it has been answered.

    • WTF December 16, 2014 at 12:29 am #

      post of the century. *Applause*

  68. Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 9:26 pm #

    I still disagree. I’ve been “swung at” by women a FEW times (a hazard in my line of work) and I’ve always managed to handle the situation without hitting them back. There are other ways to deal with things.

    • Pop Sugar Country GIrl February 20, 2015 at 2:33 am #

      You are a real gentleman. That is how a REAL man can do it, handle the situation without resorting to hit a lady. The only time a man should hit a woman is if she really is threatening his life, but he better have evidence of that. And ladies, stay classy and don’t hit a man even if he really deserves it. If he deserves it, just walk away from him and never look back.

      • David B March 7, 2015 at 12:03 am #

        If she hits you, she’s no “lady”.

  69. Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 9:51 pm #

    I think the general idea is that men who are classy enough to do these things aren’t trying to get with said “trashy ungrateful women.” The way I see it, a woman worth being with for any extended period of time would recognize and appreciate what these gestures signify.

  70. Kaiser679 December 16, 2014 at 10:11 pm #

    “If we are talking scripture” it also says victims should be forced to marry their rapists. The bible has no place in discussions of equality or basically anything else moral.

  71. Dave December 17, 2014 at 1:10 am #

    you mean be her bitch? I want a girl who can stand up for herself.

  72. jake December 17, 2014 at 5:11 am #

    lets see the 21 things women should do….

  73. Elie Challita December 17, 2014 at 6:42 am #

    Very nice read!

    Just a personal preference, but I don’t see the problem with number 5. It is one thing to be obnoxiously loud, but some of us really do enjoy having a full-belly laugh 🙂

  74. Harry_the_Horrible December 17, 2014 at 2:10 pm #

    I actually do most of those things most of the time.
    But I need to increase frequency and do more of them.

  75. TwoReplies December 17, 2014 at 7:12 pm #

    “Opening a door for her is not a sign she is weak, but a gesture of affection.”

    I was chastised by a militant feminist (misandrist), I had asked out, for whom I did this.
    She seriously flipped out saying she was fully capable of opening her own doors.
    Needless to say, I ended that evening soon after.
    NO ONE deserves disrespect as a response to innocent kindness.

  76. JR December 17, 2014 at 8:08 pm #

    #5….shut the fuck up. If laughing loudly is bad manners, then what Ive always believed about manners is true. They are nothing more than a way for rich people to be rude to each other. Also, considering there isnt anything in the code of chivalry ab out women that goes further than “dont rape them” quit saying its dead. It doesnt apply and no its not.

  77. Asgeirr Black December 17, 2014 at 9:03 pm #

    Wont get you anywhere, but at least one can feel bit better about himself. Issue is, we kinda miss proper “Lady”. These days, sure you can act like that.. but its as effective as throwing pearls to swines.

    Im confident, there might be some “Lady” left, I just never met her yet. 🙂

    • Kris Wolfe April 15, 2015 at 11:49 pm #

      You’ll find her. I found mine 🙂

  78. James Alexander Peters December 17, 2014 at 9:11 pm #

    I believe there are lots of parents teaching men these qualities. And there are still examples of gentlemanly behavior. I actually find it rarer to see girls being taught how a lady acts in return. Am I wrong? Not to say that there aren’t parents trying, and examples for girls to follow, but it seems like the general feeling with younger adult girls is that to be progressive they have to act coarse and brash. Dignity is a word I can hardly place on the vast majority. I do feel like guys growing up have at least a good feeling toward gentlemanly behavior. As in, if I want people to think of me as a real man I need to be strong, hard working, dignified. I think of the classic military man or recent portrayals in TV like Don Draper from MadMen. Whether young men exemplify those stereotypes or not, we at least look up to that and hold that as a standard of classy. I may be wrong, but I think there isn’t a perfect parallel for young women to feel drawn toward such standards. Maybe because the older examples of lady like behavior are too outdated or equated to being overly conservative? Even stay at home moms are derided as if they are inhibiting progressive movement for women. So of course, the dignified behaviors and attitudes that go along with these past eras are also looked down upon. All I’m saying is, it’s hard to feel like standing as a lady enters a room when that person personifies anything but lady like behavior. And there’s only so many times I’m going to argue over the check with a girl before I have to let it go. Ladies, when a guy wants to pay for your meal on a night out, let him have it 🙂 He’s doing it because it makes him feel like he’s doing his duty, not because he’s trying to get in bed with you. (Well, maybe not). When you come to a door.. SLOW DOWN! I hate that my ex would always be the first to the door and never give me a chance to open for her. It makes us feel like we a aren’t able to fulfill those dignified actions that will help us feel confident!
    I’d love to see more guys following these classic rules. It will help them feel connected to man tradition, confident in their position as your friend or companion, and reverse some of the very noxious trends that have prevailed over manners. To do that, we also need ladies to act like ladies. Give us a chance to show our affection with these traditions and appreciate them in the spirit they are given. And then, live up to those tokens by being a lady yourself. Don’t trash talk anyone, much less your friends. Dress with some class, that means a degree of modesty. Be honest and don’t be afraid to follow examples set by past women. Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn are NOT the only women in history btw. For guys and gals alike, manners all come down to being respectful and generous to those around you. Dignity is about maintaining respect for yourself and the share of human existence you are a part of. Tirade over.

  79. OperativeSpectre December 19, 2014 at 9:09 am #

    I’m not going to jump into the cluster-fuck of ‘it’s feminisist, no it’s not’ he said, she said, bullshit. But I did want to at least say how impressed I am that there are so many well thought out, articulate and concise arguments going on in this forum. Sure, there are some people spewing nonsense, but there are a good many people who argue their opinions in a reasonable manner. With intelligence and a clearly formed view of their ideas and perspectives. I don’t see that often.

    So, good on you, anonymous ranters. For handling yourselves with intelligence, and more or less polite disposition.

  80. Zed December 20, 2014 at 5:46 pm #

    This is some seriously beta euphoric friendzone-material bullshit right here. This crap might have played in the 1800’s, but all it will get you today is no respect (or vaginal access) from anyone, ever. Facts are facts: Women of today are neurotic self-destructive idiots who only respond positively when they are fed attention and respect the same way you feed a lab rat a pellet of food when it negotiates the maze properly. Is that the way things should be? No, but that’s the way they are. And I prefer to live in the real world, not some useless look-pretty fantasy land. If chicks don’t like it, then they can start acting like mature, intelligent, self-actualized women instead of self-obsessed permanent-adolesent girls whining about it on tumblr.

  81. Evan Byrne December 20, 2014 at 8:04 pm #

    Thankfully, swinging women do not typically pose any real threat to grown men. These issues can usually be resolved peacefully. On the off-chance that a woman continues her violent tirade, such extreme circumstances may require a proportional level of self-defense. If such circumstances were to transpire or if light physical abuse repeats, then the relationship likely needs to end.

  82. mike December 20, 2014 at 8:46 pm #

    blame feminism.

    • RicoSuaveGuapo January 28, 2015 at 2:55 pm #

      Yep. Chivalry is dead, and feminism killed it.

  83. David Burch December 21, 2014 at 7:32 pm #

    Hopefully this doesn’t turn into an ugly conversation, but this article applies to a discussion I have with my male educator colleagues. What happened to the “dudes”. I see boys (high school age) doing things now (toward each other) that would have gotten us beaten up 20 yrs ago. The silly clothes and “brofection” doesn’t make them less male or gay or whatever, but they certainly aren’t “dudes”. The reason I think it’s a not-so-awesome social evolution is because kids that are dating should be learning how to compliment each other (via roles not “U look nice today”). Who protects? Who stands between the unsavory types and his date? Who holds the door? Who walks on the street side? Etc. The neutralizing of gender roles seems like it could become a long-term societal problem. Or maybe I’m just old and square.

  84. Mike December 21, 2014 at 10:50 pm #

    I would disagree as to the last one. I agree a man should ask his hopeful bride’s father for his BLESSING, but I’ll be damned if I ask him for permission to marry his daughter.

  85. Kris Wolfe December 21, 2014 at 11:59 pm #

    This is an article written for men. Did you not notice the site is Good GUY Swag? You’re making an assumption based on a prejudice.

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  87. Jay7027 December 22, 2014 at 3:57 pm #

    No, women today have no right to such behavior. The bra burners are the reason men do not act like this in the first place. while I believe that men who act in such a way are exemplary in order for women to desire such treatment they should regain a more genteel behavior themselves in order to be worthy of such respect. Like my mother and father taught me and my sister, behave like a man be treated like a man, behave like a woman and be treated like a woman. while I agree that we women should have the right to do whatever we choose as our careers in life there was no reason for femininity to be removed from the feminist movement. Our four-mothers of the sixties made that choice and because of it they killed the chivalrous nature of our society. They made it an insult for a man to hold open a door for them, pay for the date they invited them to, or hold their chair for them. Contrary to the modern concept of today which is get everything for nothing, you have to earn respect it can not be expected or demanded.

  88. Alan Eskew December 22, 2014 at 5:28 pm #

    My Parents have bestowed these to me at an early stage, I am lucky to know these by heart. I have a wife that loves and appreciates these traits in me.

  89. Alan Eskew December 22, 2014 at 5:51 pm #

    Actually those letters were fare from work of fiction. Proven to be real people who lived and died and wrote letters. Just because you dont happen to believe in what they say does not give you the right to falsely state that they did not exist.

  90. Alan Eskew December 22, 2014 at 8:02 pm #

    Actually Chivalry is about being humble. That is how I was instructed. To put other before yourself, protecting others who who are unable to protect themselves, to honor people who came before. Its about showing respect.

  91. Grizzly Adams December 22, 2014 at 8:15 pm #

    Yeah, thanks, but I’ll do what my lady wants instead of listening to someone that hasn’t a clue about her likes and dislikes

  92. Alan Eskew December 22, 2014 at 8:22 pm #

    I do that for my wife, Her name is Grace so naturally she a klutz.

  93. avengeflipper December 22, 2014 at 9:16 pm #

    So glad I married a gentleman.

  94. Irene Concetta Xenos December 23, 2014 at 3:42 am #

    I just vomited in my mouth.

    Only a few are worthwhile because they apply to ALL human interactions. #4, #15, #17, #18, & #20.

  95. Dirk Disco December 23, 2014 at 11:52 am #

    Cute. Sexist. Not applicable if we are truely equal.

  96. Lou Sassle December 23, 2014 at 7:49 pm #

    You cant just sit there staring at your phone, chewing with your mouth open and complain that guys dont pull your chair out. It goes both ways ladies!

  97. Thorien December 24, 2014 at 12:05 am #

    Uh, don’t knock her out unless it really is a matter of life or death. You could go to jail (also, you could accidentally kill her). Try subduing or getting away first.

    Most women don’t really know how to fight, and most men are stronger; therefore, in the vast majority of situations, men will not need to try to “knock her out.” If you’re a woman fighting a woman, you can still end a physical confrontation without causing a loss of consciousness. Seriously, can people not handle their business without going for brain damage?

  98. M4tts December 24, 2014 at 11:42 am #

    Nice read, although a bit outdated with Emancipation and
    Feminism around these days.

  99. Mark Buckley December 24, 2014 at 5:44 pm #

    While I agree these are very admirable traits for a man, it gets harder to know the latest rules for “Gentlemanly” contact as the culture has ingrained so many fences to what is correct, many are just confused. Women’s liberation movement put a damper on many of these efforts and so it’s harder than ever to know how to act. I strive to do many of the points listed, but it’s not easy. Just saying.

  100. Tiagocupido . December 25, 2014 at 5:52 pm #

    ” Why would a man do something for a woman, she in turn wouldn’t do for a man”?

    Chivalry is dying because women aka lack of ladies are killing it.

    • ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ January 10, 2015 at 10:41 pm #

      Chivalry began as a moral code for knights to follow, and their interactions with females was mayyybe 10% of their entire chivalry code. Chivalry is dead because men have given up on being chivalrous. The little tiny sliver of chivalrous code set aside for treatment of women is literally the least noticeable problem with today’s “men”.

  101. Jonathan December 26, 2014 at 4:29 am #

    Insert comment complaining in disagreement…

  102. Fraga123 December 26, 2014 at 9:27 am #

    She-beasts populate this country.

  103. OwlCreekObserver December 26, 2014 at 6:25 pm #

    I was taught these things as a child and have always routinely practiced them. After 45 years of marriage, I still treat my wife (and most other women) the same way.

    However, a few years ago I had the misfortune of working alongside a capital-F feminist who considered these simple courtesies to be demeaning and degrading. After she lashed out at me for opening a door for her, I simply ignored her. I felt better and I trust that she enjoyed being treated like the jerkette that she was.

  104. Freethinker01 December 26, 2014 at 10:48 pm #

    Samantha–Do you feel a responsibility to go to your boyfriend’s parents to make sure they approve of his marrying you?

  105. Freethinker01 December 26, 2014 at 10:52 pm #

    Ladies–Do you feel that women have a responsibility to reciprocate in some way? Is there a feminine equivalent to chivalry?

    • CarmenCents December 27, 2014 at 6:01 am #

      Yeah, it’s called common decency.

  106. Evan Byrne December 27, 2014 at 3:56 am #

    Terrifying! People were almost in trouble!

  107. Evan Byrne December 27, 2014 at 4:07 am #

    Indeed, as I stated, some situations call for self-defense.

  108. CarmenCents December 27, 2014 at 6:19 am #

    There should be no difference in “treating her like a woman” and “treating her like an equal.” Treat others as you wish to be treated. That’s it.

  109. H. Jude Boudreaux, CFP® December 29, 2014 at 3:56 am #

    Nice to see a list that I am mostly on top of, and a few good reminders. Thanks!

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  111. Phreon December 30, 2014 at 5:18 am #

    I would only add that for all this chivalry, it only make sense when she *acts like a lady deserving of his respect and honor*

  112. ChoiceNC December 30, 2014 at 8:40 pm #

    When women start acting like ladies again, I think men will start acting like gentlemen, and vice versa.

    I refuse to act chivalrous with the ridiculous behavior that modern feminism and feminists show today. They scream equality, but want you to be chivalrous and put them on a pedistal…

    Bullshit! Myself and others have opted out. Go MGTOW…

  113. Robert December 31, 2014 at 12:19 am #

    Re #2… My grandmother (born 1907) said a man was supposed to walk on the outside so that the woman wouldn’t be thought to be “working”.

  114. antidisestablishmentarianism December 31, 2014 at 3:37 am #

    You know I agree with most of this but in my experience doing certain thing like always paying or holding doors or helping her with putting on coats has offended some girls investment dated cuz they felt like I thought they were helpless and couldn’t make money and shit like that. Also idk about the whole being loud cuz I just have a loud voice um big and my voice shows it so I can’t do that one lol.

  115. gaultfalcon December 31, 2014 at 5:24 am #

    Gloria Steinem does not approve.

  116. agnostic7 December 31, 2014 at 2:30 pm #

    some good..some BS. – if a meal taste bad, I’m going to tell her. I will be thankful for her making it and will let her know. But I’m going to tell her if the food tastes bad. And I’m not sure about the standing when she walks in the room bit…it is a bit much. this is a guide for betas. As Adam Corolla’s book title, “In 50 years, we’ll all be chicks.”

    • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:00 am #

      I don’t think I want to be like Adam Corolla. When did he become the authority on manhood?

      • agnostic7 April 16, 2015 at 12:25 am #

        It wasn’t a reference about “being like Adam Corolla.” It was his observation about being an authentic male. -telling the truth, in a tactful way.
        Good luck with the blog.

        • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:44 am #

          I’ll check out his book. Thanks.

  117. jpeters3270 December 31, 2014 at 4:58 pm #

    My Dad told me to sit in the car until the Gentleman opens the door for me. So after sitting in the car for over an hour, Daddy came out to open the door for me. “Your brother is not the gentleman I had in mind,” he said. Ha Ha.

  118. JollyTexan January 2, 2015 at 3:40 pm #

    I’m sure you aren’t impressed, ANONYMOUS. What kind of training does it take to not hit a woman, even if she’s hitting you? I mean, unless she’s much bigger than you are – and then, hitting isn’t going to do much good. You could walk away, for one thing. That does not take training; it takes maturity.

    • Anon January 2, 2015 at 10:16 pm #

      JollyTexan, nothing personal, but there are situations where men need to hit back. It’s called self defense. Knowing when it’s right to hit someone is called maturity.

    • Arko Sen January 5, 2015 at 7:42 pm #

      you hit me… And you sign your own f&^king death warrant… I don’t care if you’re a woman or a man… You so much as touch me without my explicit permission, I will make you regret it. I don’t care how much you try to hide behind your gender or shame my masculinity or appeal to my ‘gentlemanly side’. I’ll put you in a permanent coma.

  119. Fifi834 January 2, 2015 at 4:11 pm #

    Only coward men hit women. No exceptions.

    • Pat January 17, 2015 at 12:18 am #

      If I refuse to hit a woman when required because someone might call me “unmanly”, that would make me quite a coward.
      Violence is very rarely necessary, but when it is there is no gender to it. (And if it’s not necessary, you shouldn’t be hitting a man either–so still no gender.)

    • Robert Johns January 17, 2015 at 12:29 am #

      I’ve only had to hit a woman once, some crazed drunk who was swinging at me wildly with a broken bottle & with her hulk of a boyfriend helping her, defending yourself in a situation like that is not “ungentlemanly” it is not wanting to be badly injured or killed. I tried to back off & get away, i got cornered & had little choice in the matter, frankly I got lucky in that the lumbering oaf ran his face into my fist in a mistimed attempt at a head-butt & succeeded in helping me knock him unconscious, she gave me some lovely deep cuts on my hands & arms & got a broken nose in exchange.

  120. Alessandro Arantes January 2, 2015 at 5:30 pm #

    This is all fine and dandy…

    But I’d like to see a similar list of things women should do to men. After all, women are not a superior social caste… are they?

  121. Alessandro Arantes January 2, 2015 at 5:49 pm #

    This is all fine, but I’d like to see a similar list of woman’s actions towards men… After all, all human beings should reciprocate, after all, women are not a superior social caste… are they?

  122. Alessandro Arantes January 2, 2015 at 6:12 pm #

    Well, I’d like to see a similar list of women’s obligations to men. All human being should reciprocate, right? after all, it’s not like women are a superior caste… are they?

    Also, I’d like to know if this is a space for discussion or only biased opinions are allowed. It’s the 3rd time my comment has been erased, and this is very distasteful.

  123. Alessandro Arantes January 2, 2015 at 6:39 pm #

    Well, I’d like to see a similar list of women’s obligations to men. All human being should reciprocate, right? after all, it’s not like women are a superior caste… are they?

    Also, I’d like to know if this is a space for discussion or only biased opinions are allowed. It’s the 4th time my comment has been erased, and this is very distasteful.

  124. Alessandro Arantes January 2, 2015 at 7:07 pm #

    Well, I’d like to see a similar list of women’s obligations to men. All human being should reciprocate, right? after all, it’s not like women are a superior caste… are they?

    Also, I’d like to know if this is a space for discussion or only biased opinions are allowed. It’s the 5th time my comment has been erased, and this is very distasteful.

  125. Alessandro Arantes January 2, 2015 at 7:20 pm #

    Well, I’d like to see a similar list of women’s obligations to men. All human being should reciprocate, right? after all, it’s not like women are a superior caste… are they?

    Also, I’d like to know if this is a space for discussion or only biased opinions are allowed. It’s the 6th time my comment has been erased, and this is very distasteful.

  126. Houmid January 3, 2015 at 4:02 am #

    Women get treated like ladies until they prove otherwise.
    Unfortunately, there are far fewer ladies than there are gentlemen today.

    • ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ January 10, 2015 at 10:49 pm #

      That was a spectacularly Ungentlemanly thing to say.

      • RicoSuaveGuapo January 28, 2015 at 2:54 pm #

        Doesn’t make it any less true.

        • Baader Meinhof February 11, 2015 at 10:52 am #

          Correct, that does not make it true or untrue. Its absolute untruthfulness is clear, yet separate from the ungentlemanly statement.

          Try leaving your home sometime, and see if females “get treated like ladies” before having the chance to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE. Just being female is enough to guarantee a huge lack of being respected. And the sack, Houmid, thinks he’s probably a gentleman when no such creature would say what he did, let alone think that there are more gentlemen than ladies today. There are more UNICORNS than gentlemen, and still more ladies than both put together.

  127. Old Fart January 3, 2015 at 8:58 am #

    Chivalry is DEAD, killed by women’s libbers in the 1980s. Open a door for a woman today and half the time they cuss you out. Women, as a whole, gave up the right to be treated as Ladies when they started acting like men loosing all real femininity. Sure, help you mother with her chair, etc. let the others fend for themselves. After all what have they done for you lately that didn’t end up causing you big frustration in the long run. Don’t waste you energy, if they appreciate it they will expect it forever and you’re bound to forget once and then your in the dog house because she thinks she’s some kind of princess and you her dog. As for picking up the check every time, who are you kidding! That only proves to her you’re easy to leech off of so she’ll suck your wallet dry and never look back. Real relationships are built upon respect of the individual, something that is not within the nature of today’s women.

  128. Joshua S.A. Solomon January 3, 2015 at 6:52 pm #

    Chivalry cannot be understood rightly without reference to Catholic moral theology, knightly peity, and perhaps most importantly, Mariology; the inner gentleman is “chivalrous,” properly so-called. when his actions are motivated by religious conviction.

  129. Sakonya1 January 4, 2015 at 10:13 am #

    Good etiquette is never out of style!

  130. prattguy January 4, 2015 at 1:52 pm #

    Another article showing how far the independence of women has degraded – to the point where articles like this commonly appear in an attempt to remind men that they need assistance constantly.

  131. Donder33 January 4, 2015 at 7:55 pm #

    Women, feminism has won the culture war. You do not get any of the stuff listed here anymore now that you are equal to men. You get to be treated like just another guy, at best just a friendly competitor. Many times you are just a threat and an enemy, since you go for the same job, resources, and positions. …and women still expect Chivalry and wonder why so many men either withdraw or have reverted to the pre- Christian ‘might makes right'(anything goes if I get mine) attitude.

  132. Culture Vulture January 4, 2015 at 8:04 pm #

    Yeah, the 1700 and 1800s were definitely a time when men treated women right. I’m glad that they helped them out of their coats and stuff, instead of given them the right to vote, own property, etc….

    • Kris Wolfe January 4, 2015 at 9:55 pm #

      This is a straw man argument. You’re implying because women couldn’t vote, nothing good could’ve come from that era. There were many, many great things that came out of the 1700s and 1800s, but you should also check your history. Chivalry predates these timeframes to the early Middle Ages.

  133. Tamara Forrester January 5, 2015 at 4:08 am #

    I spent some time with a wealthy man who seemed very refined and well-mannered. I didn’t know him well but one thing that stood out to me is how kind he was though I wasn’t always. He would shoulder up to me while we walked in order to keep pace, never ahead or behind. He also would very slightly grace my elbow or lumbar while we walked and spoke. How did he know to do that?? They were gestures I really appreciated. Is there a book or a class? I want to teach my boys to be like that.

  134. Arko Sen January 5, 2015 at 7:48 pm #

    The fact of the matter is chivalry is quickly breathing it’s last. And, I say good riddance. It’s all BS people… benevolent sexism… Men are finally free to stop wasting his precious energy and resources on women and can focus on themselves and their fellow men… Feminism may have a bad online reputation, but they got one thing right, women don’t need men.

  135. MsPony65 January 7, 2015 at 3:47 am #

    My darling husband practices these traits and so many more.

    God smiled on me the day I met this wonderful man!

  136. Arko Sen January 7, 2015 at 6:53 pm #

    It’s peculiarly amusing and pitiful that you would create an anonymous identity, even going so far as to call yourself my mother just to reply to an painfully obvious bait. It’s beyond hilarious that you, an anonymous coward would cast aspersions on my masculinity. Is that supposed to shame me some way? Try again sweetheart. Is a dramatic one-liner insult, the only thing in your verbal inventory? silly white knight loser…

  137. John Mitchel January 8, 2015 at 4:32 am #

    Dated at best. A gentleman picks up the check every time? Rules that were instated when women weren’t allowed to vote or work, may need a few tweaks. It’s a great way to make a first impression, but after so long use some common sense and economics. This rule is why many men are uncomfortable dating a woman who makes more money than they do.

  138. Steve Blackmon January 8, 2015 at 5:04 pm #

    Good stuff, but I might disagree with the last sentence of #9. Seems, if your lady is wearing a short skirt, you should walk up stairs BEHIND her, like normal, to serve as a barrier, both physical and visual, between her and any other males behind her…just another way of “protecting” her.

  139. Janett January 8, 2015 at 7:12 pm #

    For all those commenting negatively on a man asking your fathers blessing/permission to marry you, I don’t think you understand what a wonderful relationship a daughter can have with a father. When my husband asked my father for his blessing I did not feel like a little girl or like my opinion did not matter but rather I felt blessed. Blessed and respected that my then boyfriend realized how important my dad is to me and that he respected me and my dad enough to include him in one of the most important decisions of both our lives.

    • Emburr January 15, 2015 at 2:02 pm #

      This is really sad. So, you are so simple minded that you think it’s ok to feel like a child who needs your fathers permission to do things like get married? Do you realize that your father thought he owned you and that your husband thinks he owns you? As if you are a piece of furniture and not a human being. And yet you think they respect you? You are a piece of property to them and you deserve better. You deserve respect as an adult person who can make your own decisions. I have a great relationship with my father but he would be surprised, uncomfortable and offended on my behalf if someone asked his permission / blessing to marry me. He would ask the guy if he had asked me first….lol….The families should already know each other by the time there is a proposal, and hopefully already get along, so asking permission like that is sexist, insulting and just odd in most situations these days.

      Please consider joining the 21st century.

      • RicoSuaveGuapo January 28, 2015 at 2:59 pm #

        “Do you realize that your father thought he owned you and that your husband thinks he owns you?”

        Must be nice to be able to read minds of people you’ve never met.

      • Scythian Arrows February 4, 2015 at 6:10 pm #

        The “modern, liberated women” of the 21st century are owned by governments and corporations. Way to progress, ladies!

  140. Solid Bow January 8, 2015 at 9:20 pm #

    That’s an awful lot of ‘gender roles’ that feminists have been destroying for 30+ years. Unfortunately if you treat a group well and they keep treating you like garbage… eventually you won’t treat them as well anymore.

    • ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ January 10, 2015 at 10:44 pm #

      “”if you treat a group {men} well and they{men} keep treating you{women} like garbage… eventually you{women} won’t treat them{men} as well anymore.””
      ^^^ That is kinda sorta how feminism came to exist in the first place, ya know! :p

  141. ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ January 10, 2015 at 11:04 pm #

    And modern feminism has only come to such great strength because of the awfulness that women used to be subjected to.
    What’s your point?

  142. Brian Kern January 13, 2015 at 10:36 pm #

    The picking up the tab thing comes from a time when women were expected to be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen, and men were the only ones that worked. Times have changed, women have jobs and money now too.

    • Kris Wolfe April 15, 2015 at 11:57 pm #

      I don’t recall a period in history where all women were barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. There have ALWAYS been powerful women in history.

      • Brian Kern April 16, 2015 at 2:15 am #

        Okay? That still doesn’t change the fact that men historically have picked up the tab because they were the ones that had the disposable income. It’s kind of hard to pay for a date when you don’t have a job, hence the reason women didn’t pay. I can understand that by paying, you’re sending a psychological (if subconsciously) signal that you’re a dependable mate choice and that you can take care of them, but that is born out of millions of years of natural selection, and given the rapid cultural changes we’ve been experience over the last few hundred years, I hardly find holding onto archaic ideals progressive or helpful in fixing social ills. We are at a point in time where “power” over women is in flux and women are fighting for rights that have been denied to them. Equality doesn’t mean we’re the same, just that we’re all treated with equal respect. We’re becoming technological beings that rely less and less on physical or material dominance and more and more on the abstract dominance. In essence, we are attempting to dominate the mental sphere. It is only through that that we will be able to explore this vast universe of which we are a part.

        • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 2:47 am #

          Possibly, and only if you’re referring to American history. The term “going Dutch” dates back to the 17th Century. It was a derisive term used by the English to denote the weakness of a Dutch man during the Anglo-Dutch wars. Many gentleman practices are derived from the English. The practice of splitting the bill is and has been common in other cultures, so it’s not progressive by any means. That being said, my wife picks up the tab on many meals, but on date night, it’s always me.

  143. Alli January 14, 2015 at 9:31 am #

    Another two – he does NOT hoot when he arrives to pick her up for a date. He gets out of the car and fetches her from the house before opening the car door to help her in. Old school I know, but I also do not believe that a date is a date if you have been sent a text saying “meet me at xxxxx” that is just a hangout particularly for the older generation (and trust me it happens) – maybe amongst teens and twenty somethings it is acceptable. Unfortunately, even in my generation (baby boomers) there is much of this that has been forgotten. I frequently travel by air and out of probably +100 flights in the last 4 years I can count on one hand the number of times a “man” has helped me to stow my hand luggage in the overhead compartment – they will stand and sigh with impatience at how long it is taking me to wrestle my laptop bag and overnight bag into place which can be time consuming as I have shoulder problems and little upper body strength. I sometime want to say to them “a real man would assist not sigh” but what would be the point?

  144. Emburr January 15, 2015 at 1:41 pm #

    Father daughter dates? That sounds really creepy.

  145. Pat January 17, 2015 at 12:19 am #

    I like how you actually explained exactly why most of these made sense at one time but are no longer applicable, before saying they should still be applied.
    But then that last one… A woman is not a possession that passes from one man to another.
    It is literally impossible for ANYTHING to be less respectful than that.
    You are going so damn far out of your way to prove that not only do you not have respect for that woman, not only do you have no respect for any woman, but you actively disrespect them.
    And that’s what you call “respect”!?

  146. Jes L. January 17, 2015 at 4:48 am #

    Since when is it a teacher’s right to force students to conform to their notions of what it means to be a man or woman? The children and those raising them are capable enough of determining what their own gender is and means.

    Not only are you teaching young boys that women cannot do anything for themselves, you are teaching young and impressionable girls that they are helpless and need the assistance of a man in order to accomplish things. You should be teaching those children to help one another and to assist those who actually need assistance, not those you deem less capable because they are of the so-called “fairer gender.” Not to mention what harm you may be doing to any student who does not identify with your rigid categories. If my child were in your class, I would go to great lengths to have them removed.

    Unfortunately, it takes much more than a village to eradicate harmful and outdated practices.

  147. bindagr January 22, 2015 at 5:54 am #

    Clearly ghost written by a woman

  148. bindagr January 22, 2015 at 5:56 am #

    #20 is bs. No amount of brutality would have evened the score with Lorena Bobbitt.

    • Savannah March 22, 2015 at 2:50 pm #

      If her husband had acted like a gentleman instead of a rapist, it likely wouldn’t have ever gotten to the extreme case that the media are up. Or does everyone forget that he repeatedly sexually abused her and she finally snapped? It’s not like women just do something that extreme without something major triggering it. From experience- I was raped as a teenager. That’s the story I have for how I lost my virginity. Not pleasant. But as horrific as tnwas, I didn’t feel like pulling a “Bobbitt”. I just wanted to get out of there and get clean.

  149. bindagr January 22, 2015 at 6:03 am #

    Re: I am not in favour of using the person gender as an excuse.
    Well said. There are far too many hags out there who think their sex is a free pass to commit violence against men. Any mother who would expect/teach her son to be doormat for one of them isn’t much of a mother.

  150. tiredofit January 24, 2015 at 3:43 pm #

    Could someone please guide me to the 21 lost traditions of women? Good for the gander is good for the goose.

  151. RicoSuaveGuapo January 28, 2015 at 2:52 pm #

    They’re offended, because patriarchy or some nonsense excuse.

  152. RicoSuaveGuapo January 28, 2015 at 2:53 pm #

    With that attitude, you probably never will.

  153. RicoSuaveGuapo January 28, 2015 at 3:00 pm #

    Why does the author need to address fringe examples?

  154. Logico1 January 28, 2015 at 4:42 pm #

    Yeah, all so you can end up marrying a woman that is guaranteed 8 out of 10 she’ll divorce you, take your kids, house, child support (even if it isn’t yours), and alimony, to boot. She already keeps a harem of friendzoned males for when you haven’t measured up to all her expectations or when you won’t talk to her because she spazzed out on you and you’re finally beginning to grow balls. Mind you, she’s not doing anything to deserve all of this attention from you, and, believe you me, there’s others doing the same, or more, for her. THIS is how men are enslaved to women. Don’t give them your power. Be a man, take care of yourself, she can take care of herself, too. Don’t do any of this. Go your own way. She’ll end up using you to then move on to “bigger fish”. Stop being simps, grow some nutz.

    • Logico1 January 28, 2015 at 4:49 pm #

      Something I thought you’d like to see:

    • Kris Wolfe April 15, 2015 at 11:55 pm #

      What kind of women are you gunning for? 8 out of 10? Where do you get these stats? Have some confidence in yourself first, and then kindness isn’t such a chore.

      • Logico1 April 16, 2015 at 12:19 am #

        The stats are everywhere, my friend. Kindness isn’t a chore, but that’s not what women are attracted to. Beta males are the fall back.

        • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:43 am #

          Quality women are absolutely attracted to kindness. I married Miss USA. Quality women are attracted to quality men. Women with issues are attracted to jerks, and then nice guys with their own issues allow themselves to be the fallback.

  155. Tom January 28, 2015 at 6:36 pm #

    I agree a guy should do all these things. It is sad that many guys do not. I have noticed a “You want everything equal, open your own door” feeling amongst many men. There is also a fear from some guys that militant feminists will label them as chauvinists if they do these things, or maybe even accuse them of sexism to their employers. I have sadly seen this happen.

  156. Darius Murtagh January 29, 2015 at 3:40 pm #

  157. Eric Reed January 31, 2015 at 7:09 pm #

    I agree with everything except #20. I would never hit any LADY. But, there are plenty of woman out there that need a good punch in the teeth every now and then. You act like a man and try to pick a fight (a physical one), I’m gonna treat you like a man.

    • Scythian Arrows February 4, 2015 at 6:08 pm #

      They want “equality”, but only when it benefits them.

  158. L Tucker February 8, 2015 at 1:48 am #

    This may be totally off subject, but grasping at the straw that I should indeed be hurt. I am happily married to an amazing man…nearly 15 years of marriage and 20 years together and 3 children under our belt. My husband is a social guy, great sense of humor and a doting husband. He makes me feel beautiful, loved and adored all the time. HOWEVER…there (IMO) is a lack of chivalry In our relationship, on his part. We were on our way home from a formal function a couple of weeks ago and a mutual friend ( a guy) came on to me, in a flattering way at first then in a dark threatening way, I was caught off guard as he was a great friend and I adore his wife. We have a blast as a foursome at events and functions and on family get togethers. My husband dismissed my tearful synopsis of this man professing his lengthy “lust” for me, and threatening my life should I utter a word of his profession. This was all done in a limo whilst MY husband and HIS wife were less than 4 feet away. My husband completely dismissed my concerns along with the complete description of what was inappropriately professed to me in a whisper by this man…our would be friend. I am outraged. Blindsided and turned off by his lack of concerN. I in NO way want or expect him to create a huge uproar, but a “hey…you’re my wife and that’s not cool” would be nice. WTH??? If it were him I would vow to avoid a person like that from that day forward…HE (my husband) has the audacity to wonder why I turned down said couple’s next invitation???? Where is chivalry on the most basic personal level between husband and wife?? GOD forbid if one of our 2 boys would ever dismiss such a charge from their future wives.

  159. Vladamir Muhammud February 9, 2015 at 6:51 pm #

    SOME of these still apply today…

  160. Misty Mitchell Anderson February 10, 2015 at 4:09 am #

    Thank you for writing such an exemplary article! I wish everyone could read this and imply what improvements need to be made in their own lives. I appreciate the simple reminders of what I and my husband need to continue to instill in our 3 boys.
    It’s a great article for women too. Growing up in small country towns I had a few cowboy friends who were gentlemen but I was surrounded by more of those who weren’t. I always tried to match up to the latter tough guys and would feel silly or too pampered when the gentlemen were around. I would try and show them I was a “big girl” who could open my own doors and could help pay the dinner bill too. I feel bad now that I was in a sense letting them know I didn’t need their chilvary and kindness. The same goes for when I’m complimented by anyone. I always come up with some excuse or reason to validate the compliment. I was once told that doing so was actually being rude and showing a lack of gratitude for their kindness. I’m still working on that one.
    Sorry to ramble on. I do really appreciate this article and hope to continue to learn from them to help my husband and I teach our boys these timeless characteristics every boy and man should have.

  161. Brigita February 11, 2015 at 9:43 am #

    Thanks for this article. I’m writing because your article took me by surprise at first, and I’d like to hear more of what you have to say. Your article reads to me as a critique of a patriarchal refrain identifying a man’s attention as the target of a woman when she gets dressed. Regards, wholesale men clothing

  162. wobster109 February 11, 2015 at 7:07 pm #

    Don’t ask her father for her hand in marriage. Ask her instead. She’s an adult, and her father doesn’t get to make that choice for her. But if you want to do it anyway for the formality and tradition of it, then ask BOTH her parents. Because her mother matters too.

  163. Thomas Blake February 13, 2015 at 5:49 pm #

    You had me until the last one. That’s an archaic tradition that needs to go. Asking for the father’s permission is basically saying the woman can’t decide and she’s her father’s property. I know for the most part it’s just a sweet gesture that people do today but it’s time to retire this “gentlemanly” tradition

  164. Pop Sugar Country GIrl February 20, 2015 at 2:37 am #

    Great article Mr. Wolfe. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. There are still gentlemen out there and the world is a better place for it.

  165. kbhmsw March 1, 2015 at 12:28 am #

    What a bunch of sexist bullshit.

  166. Richard Ahlgrim March 11, 2015 at 1:21 pm #

    First understand I believe in every one of these points. But One need to look no further than modern day Feminist Movement to see why Chivalry is dead. One cannot be beaten about the head repeatedly on a daily basis by Feminists and not lose these values. Men and women are different, and that is why Chivalry was created, to protect women from scumbag men! Just look at 9, 16, and 18. All created to be there to protect women from being assaulted by other men!

  167. Ryan Jones March 14, 2015 at 12:48 am #

    So what if it will turn a woman off. What, are you just trying to get sex from women? Real men don’t even think about whether their actions will make them less attractive to women. That’s called being psychologically manipulative and it should be criminalized.

  168. Adam Scott March 19, 2015 at 7:45 pm #

    I hope you don’t think that young men are actually going to go back to losing their agency again, do you? All of this idiocy is not going to make a comeback, not in the way you hope anyway. Men are finally waking up, and pursuing their own dreams, giving themselves permission to actually live their own lives, instead of becoming a beast of burden. Oh, and thanks for the Ritalin comment, you have real class putting men down for being wired to have lots of energy when they are young, it helps us become that big strong protector you kept taking about. Unlike stagnant classrooms that stifle and reprimand us for thinking outside the box, exploring or world, and not, by nature, sitting down and listening to someone talk, instead of do.

  169. ShlomoShunn March 25, 2015 at 5:27 am #

    To wit: he’s a lapdog mangina who never gets laid.

    • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:06 am #

      says the expert here.

  170. Jacob Eagleshield April 3, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

    Only a PUNK would strike a woman. Takes more guts to walk away.

    • Evan June 19, 2015 at 11:14 pm #

      It takes a serious lack of imagination to believe that all victims can simply walk away from women trying to seriously harm them. I wish we lived in a fantasy world where all victims could simply walk away, but we don’t.

  171. mammocad . April 7, 2015 at 11:58 am #

    What a bunch of garbage. Today’s women don’t deserve any of this ridiculous deferential treatment. Everything you mentioned including paying for dates should be done equally by both sexes. Today’s western women are mostly filthy sluts and whores and deserve nothing more than to to be pumped and dumped. This is a list for pathetic betas

    • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:06 am #

      Oh man. Can we please stop using words like “alpha” and “beta.” I go out and kick butt everyday, and I win, but I wouldn’t even discredit my own manhood by calling myself an alpha.

  172. Daniel Martínez April 8, 2015 at 6:19 am #

    The guide to be a perfect slave.

    • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:04 am #

      Or the perfect leader.

  173. Neroke2013 April 8, 2015 at 7:06 am #

    Umm NO! Women want this treatment then they’re no longer getting it just because female, not anymore. You want equality there it is you got it. These privileges are revoked by me and I will proudly remain MGTOW!

    Any of you guys want to laugh at that? Want to call me something? Well I laugh at you for being a drone then, and not having the fortitude to actually go your own way.

    This is dead Radical Feminism broke the social contract on this and it’s not coming back

  174. Steven Rettig April 8, 2015 at 2:57 pm #

    what a load! I’ve long since tossed my shining armor into the recycle bin. too many women today abuse chivalry, too few are worth it…

    • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:03 am #

      You’re picking the wrong women then. Never once has a woman I’ve dated abused my chivalry.

      • Steven Rettig October 26, 2015 at 4:35 am #

        Care to show me your bank balance after a date with any of those women?

  175. Xandercorp April 11, 2015 at 2:53 pm #

    Wait… where’s your equal standing now? 🙁

  176. brto4MSI April 14, 2015 at 8:24 am #

    What a beta faggot.

    • Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:02 am #

      Fella, you’re playing at the wrong table. Go back to the penny slots. As much as you want to look like the guy in this pic, using words like “beta” indicate you live with your parents. Get off the computer and get to the gym. I’m heading there now.

  177. Kris Wolfe April 15, 2015 at 11:49 pm #

    There is, on

  178. Kris Wolfe April 15, 2015 at 11:50 pm #

    A fashionista would too.

  179. Kris Wolfe April 15, 2015 at 11:53 pm #

    “White knight,” “alpha,” “beta”…society-at-large does not use this terminology. You don’t have to participate, but it’s interesting how you’ve chosen to participate here. If MGTOW…why troll?

  180. Kris Wolfe April 15, 2015 at 11:59 pm #

    Unfortunately kindness and respect are considered chauvenistic nowadays. Both are of the past.

  181. Kris Wolfe April 16, 2015 at 12:08 am #

    It’s the gesture that counts, not the action. I haven’t read any etiquette books which have addressed this issue though.

  182. Kris Wolfe April 28, 2015 at 7:39 am #

    Thanks for the heads up Josh! I just headed over to Brandy’s blog and read her article.

  183. Drew Stevens April 29, 2015 at 7:10 pm #

    This is ridiculous…if you read this and the girls version it’s pretty much saying the Guy HAS to do all these things that benefits women and women just have to do things like talk nice. Why is it that people think its OK to expect men to always do for women and when anyone says what women should do for men is sexist?! This is sexist and there is no way in hell I’m teaching my son to do all these for women and I’m not teaching my daughter to expect all this from men as if men were put in this world to bow down and do everything for women. This is a new age and men and women don’t have to do any of this…just like women don’t have to cook and clean and take care of men, men don’t have to pay or do anything for a woman. Enough of this sexist double standard and its articles like this that makes society think its ok for men to get more jailtime for the same crime a woman gets, that its ok to hit men and men have to be the ones to either take it or find a different solution while the woman does whatever she wants, that men still have to follow what men did in the past like work and take care of the woman and make her happy while no one should expect a woman to follow any of the things women did in the past like take care of the man. Nothing should be expected from anyone period.

    • Kris Wolfe April 30, 2015 at 2:32 am #

      Where does it say in this article a guy HAS to do ALL these things? Today, there are very masculine women and feminine men, and some men do like getting manhandled by women. Perhaps I should designate this article towards guys with a masculine disposition who are courting women with a feminine disposition, but politeness and kindness are absolutely not sexist. I don’t believe the President pulling out the chair for the First Lady is sexist.

    • Kris Wolfe May 14, 2015 at 5:58 pm #

      There are no expectations period. Everyone has the right to live in mediocrity, and there is no judgement from this site if you choose that route. However, this is an article geared towards becoming a better man; a man discontent with living an ordinary life, and wants an extraordinary life. A man who knows his identity and is confident in himself has no problem being kind and being a servant leader.

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  185. iraszl May 14, 2015 at 4:18 pm #

    I disagree with one: “He asks her father for her hand in marriage”. That’s disrespectful to a woman, suggesting she’s not in control of her own decisions in life. Suggests she’s a secondary citizen.

    • Kris Wolfe May 14, 2015 at 5:50 pm #

      Or it could suggest you have respect for the family, and you desire to be a good son-in-law who wants to foster a good relationship with her father.

      • iraszl May 14, 2015 at 6:59 pm #

        If you genuinely ask for the father’s permission and intend to respect his decision, you’re disrespecting your potential wife’s decision to get merry or not. It’s her and only her decision. Not the father’s.

        If you’re just pretending to ask the father’s permission and then intend to disregard it in case he says no, that’s disingenuous and thus disrespectful towards the family.

        The only situation where asking the father is OK if all parties openly know that the act of asking is fake, nothing depends on it, and it is only done as a ritual to express respect.

        • Kris Wolfe May 15, 2015 at 7:13 am #

          I agree, and there’s been no argument stating contrary. This may differ in other countries, but in the US, asking her father is a ritual to express respect. It’s a rite of passage. It’s absolutely the daughter’s choice, but why risk offending the father by not being respectful and asking? It would be better to severe a relationship with her family by the father saying no, than by the future groom being disrespectful and not asking.

          • iraszl May 15, 2015 at 5:28 pm #

            Gothca. You may interpret the ritual devoid of its original meaning, but we have to be careful not to practice and carry forward rituals that may empower those think a woman is a secondary citizen and men should / can decide about her future.

            As a father I don’t want a man to ask for my daughter’s hand. It would make uncomfortable to know that the man thinks of my daughter as “property” that a father can approve to hand over. I don’t deserve respect from anybody just because I have a daughter. I earn respect as an equal man through my actions.

            Btw, this practice is not only disrespectful to the daughter, but also to the mother. Why is she not being asked or mentioned in your list? Is she some secondary person in your book too?

            Marriage is a mutual agreement between two free, equal people. Parents, priests, friends, etc. have no say in this matter in this day and age. It doesn’t matter how it was in the past, and if the ritual lost its real meaning and transformed into a fake show of respect. It’s incompatible with modern morality.

          • Kris Wolfe May 15, 2015 at 6:40 pm #

            The ritual in its original meaning came out of the Romantic era. You’re interpreting the history wrong. The suitor would ask the father because the woman finally had a choice. Before this time, neither the man nor the woman had a choice. The decisions were made by both families.

            Above all, we have to be careful to carry forward respect, and maybe you don’t care if your future son in law disrespects you, but I would hope my daughter would choose a man who respects me and has the courage and strength to ask me for her hand in marriage out of respect, not necessity.

          • iraszl May 15, 2015 at 7:23 pm #

            You expect respect for what exactly Kris?

            If you don’t treat your daughter and your future son in law as equals you are not a gentleman or romantic. You’re a cad for using your daughter as a leverage to force people to perform outdated misogynistic rituals and to pretend respect towards you. Don’t delude yourself. The guy doesn’t know you, doesn’t care about you, you’re just a bully between him and his future wife.

            If you want respect earn it with your actions by treating him with respect, not as your subservient.

            Just admit it, you didn’t think this last point through. Every other point makes sense, but this one is just a dishonourable practice towards women.

  186. Marcus Marcus May 16, 2015 at 2:29 am #

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  190. Bob McMahan June 14, 2015 at 7:11 pm #

    I do not do any of this stuff. I do stay faithful to my wife.

  191. Aggie Ellstrom July 8, 2015 at 5:43 pm #

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  192. Pjv July 9, 2015 at 12:49 pm #

    A hanky…………….for the good cries and the bad cries. I started putting hankies in my sons and son in laws Christmas stocking along with lectures on why and when a gentleman needed to have that hankie in his pocket. The day we sat in the Doctors office (preplanned by my son in law and I …….we knew we had to break the news ) and told my Daughter she had cancer; my son in law pulled out his hankie. He had listen and was by her side till the end.

    • Lisa July 17, 2015 at 4:11 pm #

      I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have a tremendously loving, caring family. God bless.

  193. ketan salkar July 12, 2015 at 3:49 pm #

    kai dokyala shot lavla aahe aai chi gaand tumchya chivalry chi…bhosadichya tula daha century maage janmala aala pahije..hey jug badalla aahe atta..madarchod

  194. Mr Chris PenfoldIvany July 12, 2015 at 7:05 pm #

    I Still believe in being a Gentlemen inlcluding open doors for a lady. It may old fashioned but im old fashoned still believe in manners.

  195. J. Andrew July 15, 2015 at 2:46 am #

    Remember the time that women were objects that needed special gestures done for them because they were forced to parade themselves in overly tight corsets (to fit male beauty standards) and were unable to make the same money as their male counterparts (because they were closed off from the same educational opportunities and seen as less intelligent)?

    Remember the time gentlemen also stood closer to the street because they were considered expendable in terms of whether they died or not (because you the object needs to be kept out of harms way). Or when you had to ask another man if you could take his stuff (cause his daughter was considered his stuff or part of his possessions).

    Remember the time when it was okay to abuse and rape your wife? When women had no voice?

    All these behaviors you long for were products of a time in society when women were barely considered human. When women were considered to stupid to do even the most basic things outside of the house. When women were too fragile to do anything.

    Ladies, please quit longing for a time when you would be considered an object.

    Men, please quit longing for a time when you were allowed to freely objectify.

    Give up your seat to anyone that needs it, whether it be the pregnant lady or the man who just worked 20 hours in a factory and is falling asleep while standing up.

    Give your jacket to someone who is cold, whether it be the woman on your date, or your male friend who is shivering but won’t admit it because “he’s a man”.

    Be on time because it’s respectful of any person, not just one with a vagina.

  196. Brooklyn Ann July 22, 2015 at 1:41 am #

    A lot of these are great, and many should be reciprocal. I actually asked my boyfriend out for our first date. As the one who asked, I insisted on paying. Now we take turns paying and we have done Dutch when it made sense for our wallets. Like neither of us got paid until the next week but we still wanted a nice dinner. Partnership at its best.

    The coat thing I mostly disagree with. (Until the relationship has been firmly established). If a man one has barely known starts helping a woman out of her coat, many will be defensive and think he’s eager to get her out of her clothes. And if he’s helping her put it back on, she may wonder if he’s in a hurry for her to leave.

    That said, when I injured my shoulder, dressing and undressing was painful and I was disappointed in my ex husband watching me whimper and struggle and only help when I asked. I always helped him when he was injured.

  197. Starchitin August 8, 2015 at 4:32 pm #

    Just as not every man is a gentleman, not every woman is a lady. True gentleman will always treat a lady with respect, but he’s a fool if he allows a woman to abuse that respect. Before insisting chivalry is dead, perhaps more women should reflect on whether or not they are acting like ladies?

  198. virtual function August 27, 2015 at 6:35 pm #

    Wow! Finally I got a blog from where I know how to really take helpful facts concerning my study and knowledge.

  199. Cay October 9, 2015 at 6:40 pm #

    If a man must always pick up the check, then he should get paid more. I’m a female and I’m sick of women complaining that men make more money for the same job. When you buy your own shit and quit demanding that your little prince charming buy everything for you THEN you can get paid the same. Until then, he needs more money to please your bitchy high maintenance ass. I feel sorry for men. We’re all human, we’re all equal, regardless of gender. Men, if you CHOOSE to do any of this stuff, then fine. But if you don’t want to, don’t settle for a bitchy woman who demands any of this. Some of us love you just the way you are, and are happy to carry our own freaking bags and pay for our own freaking meals with the money we got from working and earning the same wage as you.

  200. Damien November 19, 2015 at 1:20 am #

    Chivalry is indeed dead and women killed it.
    Today, it’s all about equality.
    Same goes for handicapped parking, most disabled claim to not want special treatment.
    So allow them their dignity and let them park wherever they can find a spot, just like everyone else has to.

  201. This Guy November 23, 2015 at 12:49 am #

    Found this site as the butt of a joke and now I know why it’s so funny. Boys… women in Western societies are equal. They don’t need any of this special treatment. Women have asked for, fought for and won the right to take their place in society. They have had a raw deal throughout history and I support them being EQUAL in society.

    I support them to be signed up for the draft
    I support them to fight on the front line
    I support them to hold open the door for men instead of walking in and not turning around to see if anyone is behind them
    I support them asking men out
    I support them paying for meals on dates
    I support them getting long jail sentences when they rape young boys
    I support them getting long jail sentences when they attack and injure their husbands or boyfriends
    I support them being convicted for fraud when they lie about who their kid’s father is
    I support them being convicted for fraud and making a false report when they regret having sex with someone and cry rape
    I support them not being entitled to half their husbands wealth in situations where they had NOTHING to do with helping their husband obtain that wealth
    I support them working hard and making good money
    I support them not expecting to walk into an elevator first simply because they have vaginas
    I support them not expecting to get on a lifeboat first simply because they have vaginas
    I support them knowing that if they punch a man, they should expect to be punched back
    I support them in making good choices regarding which guy’s sperm should get a clear shot at their eggs
    I support them in not expecting child support or even having a kid with a man who as said that he doesn’t want to be a father
    I support them in killing a demented, sick, physically abusive husband/boyfriend when their life is threatened
    I support them in being able to hang with men and not cry abuse when they find our jokes to be rude

    Chivalry, was for a time when Man Animals roamed the countryside killing and raping everything they could see. Thankfully, that is no longer an accepted norm and that in most modern societies those man animals are hunted and jailed (and sometimes killed). Women don’t need to be treated like fragile porcelain dolls.

    Women can hold their own umbrellas, open their own doors, take off and put on their coats, pay for meals, pull out their own chairs and stand on bus when there are no more seats.

    To treat them otherwise should be an insult and defeats all the efforts they have put in to have equal status.

    But come on… it’s pretty sweet to have your meals paid for, to have strangers open doors for you, let you walk in first and give up their seats when there are no more left. But what is equal about having all of that done for you, simply because you were born with a vagina?

    Having it both ways isn’t fair and if that’s what we want in our modern society, all of these silly formalities need to be retired.

    And I’ll be honest, when I’m dating a woman, I do open the door for her if I’m in front of her – as a courtesy, because why not? I like her, I’m at the door and she’s behind me, so I open it. But I don’t stand when she enters a room or approaches a table – you gotta be kidding me. Today, in 2015, that’s the behavior of simpleton, a liar, and a man with no self respect.

    For all of you guys reading this site and actually believing in any of it, you need to wake up and relearn how to be a man. We have far to many wussies in this society that have been raised by single mothers who don’t know the first thing about raising a boy – let alone a man.

    And with that, please know that when you pee, you do it standing up, not sitting down. Stop reading the crap on this website.

    • Kris Wolfe December 4, 2015 at 2:45 am #

      I know exactly where this site was the butt of a joke. You’re taking advice from man with domestic violence on his hands? Real man right there. Guess he pees standing up, and every man has to conform to your definition of a man. I’m assuming your equality rights also include women getting hit? Stop shaming people. A real man doesn’t do that. Your definition of a man is lying in the dust. The rest of us are moving on.

      Oh, and btw, I stand not just for women, but out of respect for anyone who enters the room. I learned that from my dad…a real man…he’s successful like me. It’s a business courtesy.

  202. M. Phoenix December 25, 2015 at 9:28 am #

    I consider myself an old fashion kind of girl, so I love the idea of gentleman like qualities in a man. I look at the subtle ways a man reaponds in manner and action. These are important to me, but will not be for everyone. I am making both my girls, 22 and 11, aware of these characteristics so they can set a standard for themselves. Although, I don’t see anything close to this in our Gen Y. Thanks you for the beautiful post. Sorry for the loss of your uncle.

    • Kris Wolfe January 3, 2016 at 6:38 pm #

      Thank you, Marjorie! It’s been a year since my uncle passed, but I don’t think the pain from loss of family ever quite goes away.

  203. TellingTheTruth January 6, 2016 at 12:38 am #

    Very extremely difficult finding a real good old fashioned woman today like they were years ago for many of us Good men still looking and hoping.

  204. Justin January 20, 2016 at 5:48 pm #

    Women in America don’t deserve these traditional behaviors.

  205. Datson Horrenbrand January 21, 2016 at 3:18 pm #

    What a lot of nonsense. Men wake up, go MGTOW!

  206. J Brock January 29, 2016 at 2:39 am #

    Forgot one: sitting where he can see the door in places like restaurants.

    I agree with all of these (assuming you can find a lady who deserves this treatment–quite the task in America), except for #21. I just don’t respect this because the implication of it still considers women to be property (this is why fathers literally walk their daughters down the aisle and hand them over to their new husbands–transference of property). And I get asking for a marital blessing, but at least ask their mother too, because otherwise it’s extremely androcentric and doesn’t take the women into account at all.

    • Kris Wolfe February 8, 2016 at 5:29 pm #

      I agree. I asked both of Kristen’s parents together.

  207. RealityCheck February 7, 2016 at 1:47 pm #

    And now that Most of the women today that are so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very money hungry, that really speaks for itself.

  208. Laura April 13, 2016 at 7:16 pm #

    As a woman, all of these are nice ways to show a girl you care for her. I don’t think all of them should be required of men, but most are very sweet gestures. Except for #21. If a woman is close to her parents I think it is great to give BOTH of them a heads up that you plan to ask her to marry you. Asking, though, implies that the woman does not have the right to decide for herself, and speaking only to her father disrespects her mother. Asking a girl’s father permission to marry her is purely sexist, and harkens back to a time when women were property and not people.

  209. Fred G. Sanford May 13, 2016 at 11:43 pm #

    Very nice, Mr. Wolfe. Bravo.

  210. Joel May 17, 2016 at 8:20 pm #

    Kris, great list. I am forwarding it to my nephew, and I’ll look for the book as well. Regarding number 6 though. In today’s world, the man should face the door in most public places. That is where danger usually comes from, and he should be on the outside of a table or booth. Doubly so if the gentleman is carrying a concealed handgun. However, the gentleman should be extra careful to pay attention to the lady, and to not allow his attention to wander from her, or scanning for threats. If the lady is carrying, and the gentleman is not, then of course she should have the best view of the room and entrance. Gentleman should take the aisle seat in an airplane or theater as well so as to shield the lady from danger, or simply to keep her from being bumped by careless passersby. That also allows him to help place her luggage in an overhead bin, or to make an opening in a crowd so that the lady may exit the aisle in the event of an emergency.

    • Kris Wolfe May 20, 2016 at 4:26 pm #

      Joel, great suggestions! You are absolutely right about facing the door. For me, that’s better than facing the TV by far (much less distraction).

  211. Annie Oakley May 18, 2016 at 9:20 pm #

    In most relationships I’ve had, one of the first things I do with a guy I’m interested in dating is to have a sparring match. I’m a second degree black belt, so it has always felt strange to have just anyone try to protect me. Most of the people I have dated have also been accomplished martial artists, so if they can beat me, they will take on the role of the gentleman, as is suitable. If I win, then it is absolutely my job to pick up the role of protector.

    Of course, not all of these things apply to a protective gesture. In other areas we tend to figure out who is more appropriate in our particular circumstances to take on a particular role.

    I believe this is a good way for people in my situation to go about things, but I prefer to date a man that will at least put forth the effort to be the gentleman, even if I end up taking on some of those roles later. It’s about being polite. You will find me upholding the etiquette of a woman as well until we become close enough to negotiate the more complex relationship roles.

    • Kris Wolfe May 20, 2016 at 4:23 pm #

      Annie: keep those standards high. For someone like you, physical protection might not be as high of a priority. However, you can still look for a man who is emotionally protective.

  212. Ryan May 21, 2016 at 2:50 am #

    I disagree with #20. If I’m being assaulted by anyone, I’m defending myself.

    • Michelle May 28, 2016 at 2:18 am #

      Totally agree, Ryan. A real gentleman protects the innocent (including himself) from vicious violent women.

  213. Double W May 21, 2016 at 9:04 am #

    Well that is a List of nice Traditions but what i miss is the List of 21 Lost Lady Traditions which would deserve such a treatment.

  214. LetTheRealTruthBeTold May 21, 2016 at 5:56 pm #

    Now with so many Career women today finding Love will be even much more Harder for many of us Good men since so many of them are very Selfish, Spoiled, and so very Money Hungry these days as well.

  215. rick May 27, 2016 at 4:28 pm #

    While I agree with getting a woman’s chair for her, (#6) I will not have my back to a crowd, as I can’t protect her from that which I can not see.

  216. Michelle May 28, 2016 at 2:16 am #

    #20 is naive and stupid. Today, when women have become unladylike and violent, there are definitely circumstances when a man must be prepared to hit a woman. My sister-in-law was accosted on the street by a drunk and violent woman, and it was undoubtedly appropriate for anyone, man or woman, to use reasonable force against her. It is not realistic for the average man to disarm a woman armed with a broken bottle without hitting her, and a man has every right to defend himself against a woman if he is being attacked. (In fact, he wouldn’t be much of a man if he *didn’t* defend himself!) I agree it is regrettable, but sometimes a man has no choice but to hit a woman, and I am certain even a chivalrous medieval knight would have done so to protect a lady.

    • Bill August 14, 2016 at 11:48 pm #

      Most women unfortunately are just down right Nasty nowadays since they have become so very Greedy And Selfish.

  217. Karl Sandoval June 19, 2016 at 4:03 pm #

    Thought-provoking article , I learned a lot from the details . Does someone know where my business might get ahold of a fillable USDA OF-301 document to work with ?

    • Coleman Spikes June 20, 2016 at 8:49 am #

      Greetings Karl! my partner filled out a sample USDA OF-301 form here

  218. Josh July 21, 2016 at 3:34 pm #

    I am curious as to what men expect women to do in the form of chivalry, or is this society too gynocentric to hold women to any set of standards?

    • Kris Wolfe July 22, 2016 at 6:45 pm #

      Good question, Josh. I think a gentleman is a gentleman regardless of the response. But, dating is a different story. Men and women alike should hold healthy boundaries and expectations.

  219. shit dude for real August 2, 2016 at 5:44 pm #

    Are you writing for cave men or what? You barely know shit. I reckonize shit when I see it. Just like this post.

  220. shit dude for real August 2, 2016 at 5:45 pm #

    Are you writing for cave men or what? You barely know sh*t. I reckoning sh*t when I see it. Just like this post.

  221. shit dude for real again August 2, 2016 at 5:45 pm #

    apperently your site really shitty btw

  222. V August 4, 2016 at 2:51 pm #

    The “Never a reason to hit a woman” is a load, sick of hearing that. If they try/are trying to attack you physically, they created their own mess. It’s called reality. Make all the beta boy excuses you want.

  223. Smart To Stay Single August 7, 2016 at 6:48 pm #

    Nowadays with the kind of women that we now have out there which makes much more sense for us Good Guys to remain Single.

  1. The Gentleman Still Exists | GoodGuySwag - September 16, 2014

    […] Continue reading: “21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today.” […]

  2. Be A Gentleman | GoodGuySwag - September 27, 2014

    […] Being a gentleman isn’t just about action. It’s a welling up from within. As we discussed in 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions, there is meaning behind the […]

  3. Friday File 3 | Healthy Simplicity - December 6, 2014

    […] 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today […]

  4. 10 gesturi ale bărbaților ce sunt încă la modă - December 15, 2014

    […] sunt? Desigur, dar astea sunt primele zece care-mi vin în cap. Mai sunt și altele… […]

  5. Survolul de luni – antichitatea în 3D, cele mai frumoase fraze, cavalerismul | Marius Cruceru - December 17, 2014

    […] Și un lucru pe care îl consider extrem de util mai ales azi, pentru unii dintre băieții generației Facebook. Cavalerismul. […]

  6. Great Life System » Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today - December 22, 2014

    […] Read more… […]

  7. Disappearing Toy Guns And The Need For Fathers - January 13, 2015

    […] door for her? Do I pay for the date or split the cost? Should I just wait for her to ask me out? Gentlemanly behaviors are criticized as misogynistic, so many men are now split down the middle, either checking out […]

  8. 7 Simple But Attentive Things To Do On A Date - January 20, 2015

    […] to details. Opening a door for her, pulling out her chair, shows you care about the little things. Gentlemanly manners is putting your best foot […]

  9. Jan. 22 - Freedom Park - Ultimate CrossFit Charlotte, NC - January 22, 2015

    […] gentleman and lady traditions that still apply […]

  10. Don’t Get Feministed | Traditionalist Youth Network - January 26, 2015

    […] a veritable homing beacon for the failed man-children of the world.  The article was “21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today.”  I didn’t need to read the article to know that it wouldn’t be able to solve […]

  11. Back to Basics | Chronicles of a Gentleman - February 2, 2015

    […] often rely on to generate topics and develop my own thoughts.  I was recently shown an article on GoodGuySwag that touched on all the traditional behaviors of a gentleman that might seem obvious but have […]

  12. MP Podcast — 6 | Multiple Perspectives - March 2, 2015

    […] Make Less Money Than Men More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today Why Guys Should Always Pay On The First […]

  13. Just Shoe Me and Weekend Link List for March 7 | The Olive Shoe - March 7, 2015

    […] 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions that Still Apply Today […]

  14. Get Up Off Your Butt When She Walks In | CuffLinked Magazine - April 23, 2015

    […] Source: Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today […]

  15. Top Tips To Help You Succeed With First Dates: A Guide For The Uninitiated | Being Erica - June 4, 2015

    […] You should only “go Dutch” if the other person insists on it. But don’t expect your date to pay for the bill, fellas. We might live in a modern world, but tradition is still with us. […]

  16. Ewan Spence » Blog Archive » Trivial Posts #13: The Gentlemen, The Borg, And The Goonies - June 22, 2015

    […] 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today […]

  17. Huszonegy lovagias gesztus, amely ma is hódít | Christianae - June 24, 2015

    […] Forrás / pá […]

  18. Girls Healthy Journey - July 9, 2015

    […] 21. Be prepared. If you are going out with a gentleman, he will cover your date. However, you should always be prepared to pay if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this article on says, […]

  19. Gentleman Traditions | The Scott Ochoa Show - July 10, 2015

    […] […]

  20. PGP 000: Intro – What Is A Pompous Gentlemen? | Pompous Gentlemen - Uncensored Dating Advice for Men - July 22, 2015

    […] 21 Lost Gentlemen Traditions That Still Apply Today […]

  21. 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today - Common Sense Evaluation - October 1, 2015

    […] Source… […]

  22. For my guys… | mrsturnerblog - January 14, 2016

    […] 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today […]

  23. My Reaction to the “21 Lost Gentleman Traditions” | Blog:30 - January 19, 2016

    […] I’d like to respond to these “lost gentlemen traditions.” you can read their article/takes by clicking here. […]

  24. Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today – NEW AGE GENTS - January 23, 2016

    […] Source: Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today […]

  25. 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today – The Morning Thing 2/8/16 – Rise and Shine - February 8, 2016

    […] hope that chivalry is NOT dead. Click HERE to see the list. It is our hope that men, young and old, will adopt some of these traditions in […]

  26. Who Knew? This one’s for us, gentlemen. | Driving Notes - March 2, 2016

    […] hope that chivalry is NOT dead. Click HERE to see the list. It is our hope that men, young and old, will adopt some of these traditions in […]

  27. Happy International Women’s Day! Here’s a good read from my favorite blog, She is More: 21 Lost Lady Traditions That Still Apply Today | Mikala Morgan - March 8, 2016

    […] 21. Be prepared. If you are going out with a gentleman, he will cover your date. However, you should always be prepared to pay if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this article on says, […]

  28. Wednesday’s Show Links – 06/08 | Murphy, Sam & Jodi - June 8, 2016

    […] got 21 lost gentleman traditions that still apply today. CLICK HERE to the full detailed […]

  29. 5 Friday Faves – Survivorship Plan, Words in a Marriage, Broadway Musicals, Gentleman Traditions, a Poet for the Present, Plus a Bonus | Blog – Deb Mills - June 10, 2016

    […] myself what traditions should hold and which were no longer relevant. Kris Wolfe writes a sweet piece on 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today. As I read these traditions, I thought some […]

  30. Should a Guy Pay on a Date? 5 Ways To Decide - June 16, 2016

    […] as cheap and stingy. The Netherlands remain progressive and liberal. On the other hand, many of the gentlemanly traditions come from proper […]

  31. Be a Gentleman (The Definitive Guide) - July 3, 2016

    […] 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today | Good Guy Swag […]

  32. Sofiticated Dating 101 - August 8, 2016

    […] Be prepared: If you are going out with a gentleman, he will cover the date. However, you should always be prepared to pay if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this article on says, […]

  33. Date A True Gentleman: Find Your Sugar Daddy Today | Sexy Rich Guys - August 17, 2016

    […] are and they will get as much pleasure out of your reaction as you do out of his gesture. Here are some of the things that you should look for in your sugar daddy that shows that he really is a […]

  34. The Many Man-children of Todd Phillips | ChipCuccio - August 21, 2016

    […] 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today […]

  35. Monday’s “Best Of” Show Links – 09/05 | Murphy, Sam & Jodi - September 5, 2016

    […] got 21 lost gentleman traditions that still apply today. CLICK HERE to the full detailed […]

  36. Divine Nature: Value Experience 1 – Growing with the Punches - September 21, 2016

    […] if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this article on says, “An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go […]

  37. A Gentleman Protects His Girl These 7 Ways - November 14, 2016

    […] we already discussed in 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions, he walks closest to the street to protect her from puddles that might splash. He holds an […]

  38. 2016 in Review: A Look at the GoodGuySwag Community - December 30, 2016

    […] people came to GoodGuySwag in 2016. The top articles driving this traffic continue to come from 21 Lost Gentleman Traditions, 30 Characteristics of a Good Guy, and 10 Ways to Win a Girl’s […]

  39. What age should women stop wearing skinny jeans? – Forever 39 Podcast - January 25, 2017

    […] online post from GoodGuySwag lists 21 gentlemen traditions that they say still apply today. Holding the door? Standing up when a […]

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