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Oilers Finish Day 1 of ITA

Oilers Finish Day 1 of ITA

The University of Findlay women's tennis team competed at the ITA Midwest Regional on Friday in Allendale, Mich.

Nina Djordjevic and Matina Matic both went 2-0 in the "A" singles competition to lead the Oilers.

Djordjevic came away with a 6-1, 6-0 win over Halima Michael of Davis and Elkins before she defeated Indianapolis' Selenay Heper by a score of 6-2, 75.  She will prepare to face Grand Valley State's Alexa Sweeney tomorrow.

Matic won 6-1, 6-1 over Ohio Dominican's Anita Grizrd before claiming a 6-1, 6-0 Northwood's Anastasia Puchkina.

The two also combined to go 1-1 in "A" doubles competition and will battle Indianapolis' Stephanie Hirsch and Allie Smith tomorrow in the consolation bracket.

Viktoriya Shkola and Melissa Djohan went 2-0 in the "B" doubles competition to reach the semifinals. They reached the semifinals by claiming an 8-1 win over Asia Harris and Anastasiya Dasik and will face Rachel Sumner and Courtney Lang from Grand Valley State tomorrow.

Anna Foreman is still alive in the "B" singles consolation after posting a 1-1 record and will face Grand Valley State's Kristina Lucas tomorrow while Djohan went 2-1 in "B" singles.

Kiara Shaw posted a 1-2 record in the "B" singles while Shkola went 0-2.

Foreman and Shaw also teamed to go 1-1 in "B" doubles competition.

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Men's soccer locks up with Ozarks in 1-1 draw

Men's soccer locks up with Ozarks in 1-1 draw

GREENVILLE, Ill. -- The men's soccer team extended their unbeaten streak to two matches with a 1-1 draw against Ozarks on Friday.  The contest started one hour later than scheduled due a lightning delay during the women's matchup that preceded the contest.

The teams waited out a lightning delay of their own with 1:02 remaining in the first half, and the game was completed 29 seconds into the overtime period due to lightning.

The scoreless duel was broken by Ozarks at the beginning of the second half, and Greenville tied the game in the 68th minute with Edgar Bueno's goal.

The Panthers received two shots from Bueno and Tyler Earick, and goalkeeper Nick Holland had one save.

"Tonight we came out and put in a performance," said head coach Chris Swift.

"I am super proud of the guys. In a game that got heated, we maintained our composure, fought through adversity, and came away with a hard fought draw."

"Bueno was the key for us. He came out buzzing, raised everybody's level, and capped it off with a great goal."

"We have a little time to recover before we hit the road next week."

Greenville (1-3-1) continues their season on Friday, Sept. 16, at Coe.


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Finger Guns Comedy

Finger Guns Comedy is a podcasts in which a group of comedians discuss recent events in their lives and perform improvised sketches based on their discussion.

A podcast made up of Los Angeles based comedians as they discuss hot takes and come up with sketches based on the hot takes and earlier discussions!


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ABC & the Advertiser

Advertisers require to know to what extent any advertising medium is an effective sales promoter and consequently must have knowledge of two factors (1) cost of the advertisement and (2) the results which he expects from the advertisement. Any calculation of results must necessarily be based on the scope of audience which the advertiser is addressing and in the case of a newspaper or a periodical this is directly related to number of copies which are in circulation. As far as the advertisers are concerned, more and more effective distribution of their advertising investments is ensured by the circulation data provided by the ABC. This ABC data is by far the most accurate information on circulation of important publications, which is available. It also shows the changes in the circulation trends and its coverage of circulation. Advertisers can access the purchase preference in that area thereby obtaining valuable clues in locating potential markets. ABC Certificates can be used as a reliable and a dependable guide for finding the right markets for the advertisers products. ABC's concept of circulation audit is accepted in many advanced countries for authentic and accurate circulation figures.

New Membership

New advertiser member should complete the information and the membership form and send the same to the Bureau's office along with annual subscription and equivalent amount as one time entrance fees.

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Automotive Mileposts

1976 Cadillac Seville
Optional Equipment

Image: 1976 Cadillac Seville optional equipment

(A) Wire Wheel Discs

Flashy chrome-plated wire wheel discs add sporty elegance to the Seville. Discs feature Cadillac wreath and emblem at center.

(B) Weather Band Radio
Integral AM/FM Signal-Seeking Stereo Radio features a 24-hour weather band, available at the touch of a button. Four speakers (two front and two rear) feature diagonally opposed balance for best stereo sound reproduction. Includes Automatic Power Antenna that raises and lowers automatically when car or radio is turned on or off.

(C) Lighted Vanity Mirror
Passenger side visor vanity mirror illuminates automatically when cover is raised, and features two light intensity settings.

(D) Illuminated Entry System
Pushing either front door handle button automatically illuminates lock cylinder below handle as well as inside courtesy lights. The lights go off automatically when the ignition is turned on, or after approximately 30 seconds.

Astroroof ($885)
Sunroof ($701)
Illuminated Vanity Mirror ($44)
Illuminated Entry System ($52)
Wire Wheel Discs ($167)
Turbine Vaned Wheel Discs ($45)
Cruise Control ($104)
Theft-Deterrent System ($114)
AM/FM Stereo Radio with Integral 8-Track Tape Player ($93)
AM/FM Signal-Seeking Stereo Radio with Weather Band ($61)
Controlled Differential ($61)
Door Edge Guards ($11)
Firemist Paint ($146)
Carpeted Floor Mats ($47)
Trunk Mat ($10)

Guide-Matic Headlamp Control ($54)
Twilight Sentinel ($47)
Heavy-Duty Cooling System ($40)
Leather Upholstery ($235)
License Frames ($7 each)
Electric Rear Window Defogger ($77)
Performance Axle (researching price)
Trailering Package ($85)
Automatic Door Locks ($100; Power Door Locks standard)
6-Way Power Passenger Seat Adjuster ($131)
Power Recliner Passenger Seat ($90)
Manual Recliner Driver Seat ($65)
Accessory Engine Block Heater (Dealer installed) (researching price)
Rear Shoulder Belts (Dealer installed) ($36)


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 Pemberton-Billing P.B.35 Skylark
Pemberton-Billing P.B.35 Skylark
Страна: Великобритания
Год: 1936

Flight, April 1936

Flight, April 1936

Mr. Pemberton Billing's Return to Aviation: A Machine with Welded Bicycle – tube Construction: Fittings Suppressed Altogether: Typical "P.B." Unorthodoxy

  QUITE early in British aviation history, somewhere about 1912 or 1913, there lived on board a three-masted schooner moored in the River Itchen a man who had been badly bitten by the "aviation bug." At Woolston, in a very modest works, a few other enthusiasts were hard at it trying to translate into actuality the ideas which came to our friend on the schooner during the long watches of the night. In time, a flying boat with frames of circular section and a built-on step began to take shape. A rotary engine (Gnome) was fitted in the gap, its axis tilted to direct the slipstream on to the tailplane, so that when the high centre of thrust should disappear with the stopping of the engine, the disappearance of the slipstream should reduce the download on the tail, thus evening matters up again.
  The man who visualised all these features was the founder of the Supermarine Aviation Works, and his name was destined to become associated with many phases of early British aviation. Noel Pemberton Billing was the man, and among those who were associated with him from the start was Mr. Hubert Scott-Paine, who was later to become Mr. Pemberton Billing's successor and to whom fell the task of consolidating, with Commander James Bird, the foundations on which later Supermarine greatness was built.

Some Early "P.B." Efforts

  It is, perhaps, significant that the flying boat referred to was known as the P.B.3. Two designs had preceded it, but had not been built. This one did not fly, but that was an incidental fact shared by not a few early aircraft. The right ideas were there, but not, so to speak, in the correct proportions. Facts and figures for correlating the ideas were still to be dug out laboriously, and engines of 100 horse-power were something of a rarity.
  Before he abandoned aviation to go into politics "P.B." had many more brainwaves. There was, for example, the height indicator for use when alighting in the dark, a weight suspended below the flying boat and warning the pilot, as it struck the water, that it was time to flatten out. There was the design, much ahead of its time, of a flying boat in which, if engine failure caused a descent on the sea, the wings were allowed to float away and the hull proceed as a motor boat, unhampered by a superstructure. There was what Flight of those days called the "Seven-day 'Bus," a little biplane said to have been designed, built and flown within a week. There was the quaint little pusher machine which became known as the "Push-Prodge," and there was an equally unorthodox quadruplane, a military type with gun turrets and other things which would seem quite modern to-day.
  "P.B." was ever unorthodox and was always doing the unexpected. When, therefore, he rang up Flight a few days ago and asked if we were interested in an aeroplane that could be sold for ?100, or for ?125 including tuition, we were slightly sceptical, but not surprised. It was so exactly like "P.B." to spring one like that on us. Within the hour he had turned up at Flight's offices, had explained his new aeroplane, had shown us just about the neatest all-purpose camera in the world (produced from a watch pocket), had had the model of his aeroplane photographed, and had left us dazed and somewhat wondering.
  "P.B." is no believer in the Pou-du-Ciel, but he is a believer in the small, cheap aeroplane. He is about to demonstrate his belief by marketing one. The Pemberton Billing Skylark, as was to be expected, is not quite like any other aeroplane ever built, although it has most of the orthodox features, wings, a tail, an undercarriage, a cockpit, and an engine. But these ingredients are mixed in an unusual way, and held together without fittings, and almost without bolts. One expects "P.B." to have an amusing time with the Air Ministry airworthiness people in connection with his plain welded joints without reinforcing of any sort.
  Welded tubular wing spars to which are welded the tubular steel ribs form the basis of the wing. The rest is a plain covering of sheet aluminium, simply screwed to spars and ribs. The back-swept wing is strut braced to the front spar only, the sheet metal covering being relied upon, in conjunction with the welded joints of the ribs, to transmit loads from rear to front spar. There are no ailerons. "P.B." admits that he may have to add them afterwards. At present he does not wish to, as they mean weight and cost. The elevators are intended to take over the usual aileron duties, being independently hinged and so geared to the controls by pull-and-push rods that one can be made to move up when the other moves down. In addition they retain their natural elevator movement. "P.B." points out that, after all, the Pou-du-Ciel flies without ailerons, so he ought to be a little better off.
  To transmit torque of this nature from the tail to the wings will demand a very rigid tail girder. The triangulated welded structure of the model was found to be amazingly stiff in torsion, so that possibly the full-size machine may be satisfactory in this respect.

The Undercarriage

  The undercarriage is of the simplest imaginable type: Each wheel is carried on a stub axle, and as the telescopic strut is a part of the main aircraft structure, there is no difficulty in providing a very long stroke, two feet, if it is thought necessary for really clumsy landings. The wheels seem too far forward to get the tail up during take-off.
  It could scarcely be claimed that the Skylark is a pretty aeroplane, but as "P.B." points out, it is designed for cheap flying and not for high performance. Fairing and streamlining has had to go by the board.
  A Douglas engine is foreseen for the experimental machine, but afterwards there may be a "P.B." aero engine specially produced for the Skylark.
  Bicycle tubing is the material which has been selected for the construction of the Skylark. All the tubing used in the machine will weigh about 140 lb.; engine, tanks and petrol, another 140 lb.; the nacelle about 25 lb.; wing and tail covering, undercarriage and controls another 125 lb. With a pilot of 170 lb. the loaded weight of the Skylark is estimated at 600 lb. or so. The wing area is 112 sq. ft., and the wings are bolted to the centre-section by 8 bolts. For hangarage, or for towing behind a car, they are stacked along each side of the tail girder, when the overall width is about 6ft. When spread, the wings have a span of 29ft.
  One gathers that a company is to be formed for the production of the Skylark in quantities. A good deal of thorough testing of the first machine will be needed before the many unorthodox features can be considered welded (literally) a trustworthy whole.
A scale model of the Pemberton Billing Skylark's "skeleton." All joints are welded.


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Incident Mapping System And Media-Monitoring by
  Event Title Go back to Home Page
Event Summary
Event Type Plane Crash - Private Or Corporate Small Aircraft  Date Time 2019-09-09 02:17:00
Country US  City Whitehall, MI
Latitude 43.410  Longitude -86.349
[] MICHIGAN - Pilot dies after plane crashes into water tower

“ An 80-year-old pilot died late Monday morning after his plane struck a water tower near a middle school.”

Copyright © 2006-2012  All Rights Reserved.


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Meeting Ukraine Girls

Meeting Ukraine Girls Through Online Dating

October 7, 2016 | 0 Comments

Online dating has become widely popular these days and many Ukraine women have started to get interested in meeting men from overseas (and vice versa), in the hopes that a special relationship will bloom between...

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Home >> About Us >> Vision & Mission

Vision & Mission

As a resourceful company, Axiom Qatar aspires to become one of the leading regional supplier of various products and services suppliers providing effective solutions to its valued customers. Our mission is to be an environmentally and socially conscious, fiscally responsible, well managed enterprise that reinvests for future growth and development.


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Jessica Jensen Grace Portfolio/Foldover Clutch | Purple Ostrich-Embossed Leather Bag

Posted on: Oct 8

Jessica Jensen seems to have a handle on creating unique clutches that will work with a variety of outfits, and this Grace foldover clutch from the label's collection is definitely a standout among others.

In an attempt to bring exotic leather to a reasonable price range, this handbag is crafted from the softest of ostrich-embossed leather. Unless you're an expert on ostrich bags or just types of leather in general, I'm guessing that most people won't be able to tell the difference between this embossed version and the real deal.

I'm not the only one who is loving the purple handbags that are so on-trend this season since they seem to be popping up everywhere lately. Combined with this luxurious-looking material, the Grace clutch is perfectly on point for today's fashion but also timeless in its design.

There's nothing bulky or distracting about the style of the purse, which allows the color and texture to shine as the stars of the show. The simplistic portfolio design of this clutch, which simply snaps inside at the top and folds over slightly, is a testimony to Jessica Jensen's genius as well as the timelessness of the purse.

At $428, the Grace clutch is not exactly in what's considered an affordable price range, but it is the type of handbag that you'll be able to use for years to come. Plus, its generous size makes it practical for regular use.

More Features of the Grace Foldover Clutch

  • Measures 15.75 x 8 x 2 inches
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Quakers have been a positive influence in and around Banbury since the seventeenth century.

The making of Queen's Road

The following notes were taken from an article by Derrick Knight produced in Cake and Cockhorse for the Banbury Historical Society - Volume 19 - Spring 2015 with their kind permission. The full A4 richly coloured illustrated version called Once Upon a Time in Queen's Road is available in local libraries or from Derrick at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.for £5. These extracts are very short sections of a very interesting article but they demonstrate the huge influence of the Quaker movement in Banbury. The article also highlights the huge social needs of the area at that time.

The Gillett family and other Quakers like the Cadburys had a huge influence on the growth and well-being of the citizens of Banbury in the nineteenth century and are fully acknowledged in all local histories. Joseph Ashby Gillett was a partner in Gillett's Bank in Cornhill; he was a man of property but also a practical man of charity. Joseph and his brothers became part of a small but active strand of Quakers in Banbury who for three generations were prominent locally in all kinds of business and philanthropic activities.

When Joseph died in 1853 his eldest son Charles became at 23 chairman of Gillett's New Bank in Banbury, where in 1856 he was joined by his brother. The agricultural depression of the later nineteenth century hit local farmers hard. Cheap wheat poured into the country from North America and drove many in the farming community into bankruptcy. Even though Gillett's Bank offered fair terms there came a time when farmers could not repay their debts and their land fell into the Bank's hands1.

Charles may have ridden up the Broughton Road, then edged with fields, where he could stop on the brow of the hill and look east across the bare fields dotted here and there by old ashes and oaks now regretfully owned by his bank. He had a vision of the area of Neithrop in front of him, close to the western boundary of Banbury as an ideal space for a new suburb which could be planned and marketed by his bank and make good, perhaps profitable use of the idle land forfeited to the bank and by his landowners and farmers.

First the road and layout had to be agreed and built. In the autumn of 1853 Charles issued a notice of intent to extend Paradise Street, a cul-de-sac off the Warwick Road in Neithrop, into Bath Road, which would link the Warwick Road and the Broughton Road2. The notice of intent was the beginning of a well-thought-out plan to make good use of the available land. Though the idea of 'town planning' did not become a recognised concept until 1904, I believe that the care with which Charles went about the scheme was an example of 'town planning'. Following the tradition of his Quaker upbringing, Charles made sure that the quality of the new streets would be as good as possible.

In 1856 Queen Street, as it was then called, was laid out to the west of Bath Road3. It was destined to be a typical Victorian terrace for people of modest means but its plan was well thought through. In the morning the sun lit the front of most of the new homes and worked its way round to the back garden in the afternoon. At the rear of the gardens was a pathway leading past several houses linked at intervals with the street that could be used by tradesmen, coal deliveries or members of the family not wishing to bring dirt into the house. Finally, the concerned Quaker animus made sure the whole district was protected by a set of conditions, not only in the building but in the legal indenture documents, which have changed hands through several generations of house-owners or lessees and have still to be respected.4

1 Effect of agricultural depression on the bank: Audrey Taylor, Gillett's Bank at Banbury and Oxford, OUP (1964), 121-4

2 Oxfordshire History Centre, Gillett Papers, Articles of agreement: Gil/Iv/iii,iv

3 Oxfordshire History Centre, Agreements with local builders re Bath Road, Bath Terrace and Queen Street: Gil/1V etc.

4 All indentures of properties in Queen's Road contain environmental conditions that have to be agreed.


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Deva Vegan Multivitamin and Mineral Supplement Iron Free (1×90 Tablets)

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Enjoy Deva Vegan Multivitamin and Mineral Supplement Iron Free – 90 Tablets every day at these amazing prices! Deva Vegan Multivitamin and Mineral Supplement Iron Free Description:

  • Iron Free
  • One Daily

Get the essential vitamins and minerals your body needs with DEVA Vegan Multivitamin. Balanced, multiple vitamin and mineral formula enriched with special herbs especially formulated for vegans / vegetarians. DEVA Nutrition is pleased to offer this high potency, balanced multiple vitamin and mineral especially formulated for the unique nutritional needs of vegans and vegetarians. This new formula now has more vitamin B-12 because vegetarians and vegans are more likely to be deficient in B-12. It contains no iron for those who seek an iron-free multivitamin.

DEVA Vegan Multivitamin is 100% animal free, certified VEGAN by the Vegan Society, and guaranteed for purity, freshness and labeled potency. DEVA Vegan Multivitamin is an exceptional quality multivitamin that combines 1-per-day convenience with its reasonable cost. Each bottle can last up to 3 months making DEVA Vegan Multivitamin very affordable at this special price. Remember DEVA Multivitamin is 100% vegan, vegetarian and is certified by the Vegan Society, the non-profit organization that actually invented the word “vegan”.

Free Of GMOs, yeast, wheat, gluten, milk, sugar, salt, starch, preservatives; animal products, byproducts or dervatives. Disclaimer These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Product characteristics include: Vitamin A (Acetate), Vitamin C (Ascorbic Acid), Vitamin D2, Vitamin E (D-Alpha Tocopherol Acetate), Vitamin B1 (Thiamine Mononitrate), Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin), Vitamin B3 (Niacinimide, Niacin), Vitamin B6 (Pyridoxine Hcl), Folic Acid, Vitamin B12, Biotin, Vitamin B5 (D-Calcium Pantothenate), Calcium (Calcium Carbonate, Phosphate), Iodine (Kelp), Magnesium (Oxide), Zinc (Oxide), Selenium, Copper (Gluconate), Manganese (Sulphate), Chromium, Molybdenum, Boron (Citrate), Choline (Bitartrate), Inositol (Nicotinate), Lutein, Paba, Citrus Bioflavinoids, Pectin, Betaine Hcl, Alfalfa (Leaf) Medicago Sativa, Chamomile (Leaf) Matricaria Recutita, Rose Hips Rosa Canina, Rutin, Parsley (Leaf) Petoselinum Sativum, Acercola Extract Malphighia Giabra, Cellulose, Stearic Acid, Croscamellose Sodium , Vegetable Stearate, Silica (All Of The Ingredients Are From Plant/Mineral Sources). (Please note: Description is informational only. Always read the product label before use and check with your health professional before using this product)
Gluten Free: Gluten Free
Vegan: Yes
Dairy Free: Yes
Pack Size: 90 TAB

Additional information

Weight 0.38 oz


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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A New Favorite

It might seem early (because I know that Mother's Day isn't for another couple months still and that is most often when we reflect upon such feelings) but I feel like I was just hit with another surge of respect/love/adoration for the role of mothers. I came across the following quote again in a recent study and thought I'd share (it has fast become a new favorite):

“To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 326–27).

I love that! And if you want to read more like it, I encourage you to read "I Am A Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. It is officially one of my favorite books of all time (and I've read it over and over)! It's uplifting, inspiring, encouraging, etc. Just as it claims, the book offers affirmation that mothers DO matter, and how important your calling is - so be proud of it!

I have to add that all you mothers are definitely inspiring to me. Your posts are likewise validating, comforting, encouraging, etc. and I'm so blessed to be associated with you! And above all, I'm so grateful for my own mother. She's taught me most everything I know (and we are so almost eerily similar because of it), I am who I am because of her, she is an amazing example, and I have the most love and respect possible for that great woman! Where would any of us be without our mothers?!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Our Sugar Baby

Vanna has such a sweet tooth (much like her daddy). She is forever trying to sneak into the cupboard for marshmallows, or the pantry for any sweet treat she can find (we have even had to add a lock to our pantry door in an effort to keep her out of there more). From a very early age (before even a year), she knew to pick through cold cereal like Lucky Charms for the sweet marshmallows, and leave the rest. And of recent we have witnessed her biting off the 'frosting' of Frosted Mini Wheats and returning the remainder of each cereal piece to her milk. What are we going to do with her!?

Gotta' love that cheesy grin (that shows off her cross-bite brilliantly). Vanna rummaged through Cash's Preschool V-day Party candy stash and found blue Fun Dip. Her first experience - need I say more?!

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day (late) with a heart shaped sucker to boot!

And a couple tid-bits:

Last night I asked Cash to get his pajamas on and he came out like this. He said, " You told me to put on my pajamas, so I put them all on!" - of course accompanied with his silly giggles.

And Ty is feeling much better, thankfully. I think he recovered quickly actually, as he went back to work a week after having surgery. One thing about it, he won't have to go through this rig-a-ma-roll again. The only thing that seems to bother him now is the tugging at his stitches that occurs when he performs one of his big, manly sneezes. And he's not yet working out like he normally would but that will come before long. We are just grateful everything went so smoothly and well and that he's fine (and we so appreciate all of your concern and well-wishes).

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Well, this past week held a few surprises for us:

#1 - Ty had surgery! Yep. He woke up Tuesday night in terrible pain (he was the perfect depiction of a man "writhing in pain"-it wasn't pretty). It never let up so we headed to the hospital early Wednesday morning. Four hours, blood tests, and a CT-Scan later proved he had an enlarged appendix that the Dr.s were certain was infected - hopefully not ruptured yet. Since a team was immediately available for the surgery, Ty went in for an apendectomy that afternoon. Although these surgeries are very every day to hospital staff and perhaps not considered a big deal, it still shook me up a little. It's simply not natural at all to see Ty weak, miserable and in pain on a hospital bed. And I definitely didn't like the part where they gave me Ty's wedding ring before they wheeled him into the surgical room. I suddenly felt so detached from Ty at that moment. Very uncomfortable.

But, Ty pulled through magnificently and thankfully his appendix had not yet ruptured but it was very 'sick' (as the Dr termed it), so they were glad to have gone in and taken it out. After the surgery, I met him in the recovery room where I tried to feed him but he was so knocked out he keep falling asleep in-between bites. It was really almost comical (take away the reason he was under such heavy medication :). His healing has been slow but sure. He says he feels better every day and I have no doubt he'll be back to wrestling with the kids and lifting weights in no time.

Didn't think you'd really want to see pix of Ty's "sick" appendix that I got from the Dr. so I thought I'd throw in these recent and random pix of the kids dancing in the front room.

#2 Vanna threw up for the first time on Sunday. I think our poor little girl was scared (thinking "what is happening?"). I guess when it rains it pours! It wasn't enough to be taking care of a spouse just after surgery. Humor had to throw a child puking all over in her bed and my bed to the mix. :). Thankfully Vanna got over her illness quickly and we are all on the mend and doing well.

Wow - I love this picture and my little girl's get-up. She loves to pull on her swim suit and run around in it but today she pulled it over her other clothes, complete with slippers and goggles that I think make her look so silly! Love that girl!

It's funny - not more than a couple weeks ago Ty and I were talking about how fortunate we had been to have skidded through the winter with little illness (we all had a cold for a short while but beyond that -nothing) and then WHAM! I guess we spoke a bit too soon. Still, we feel very blessed by the way everything has turned out over the past week.


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Allouez, Wisconsin Choose N. John Bey for experienced, diligent personal injury representation in the Atlanta, GA area. Board of Legal Specialization Subrogation If you get in a crash with a semitruck, there are several different people you could sue.You could sue the driver of the semitruck. The driver will … Personal injury lawyers help injured people seek compensation from those who have harmed them. Some injury attorneys focus on a specific type of case, such as truck accidents, car accidents, slip-and-fall injuries, medical malpractice or products liability cases. If a person is injured as a result of criminal behavior, it may be appropriate to pursue a personal injury lawsuit in addition to the state's criminal investigation or prosecution. Fellowship Program Whether someone will owe for the harm caused to you depends on who was at fault and how much they were at fault. Frequently, there will be several individuals and companies that share some of the blame. Often, the injured person also has some responsibility for their own injury. The total amount of money each person or company must pay depends on what percentage of fault they have and the injured person’s claim is reduced by their percentage of fault. Statistics Meyerkord & Meyerkord, LLC proudly serves clients in Florissant, St. Charles, Chesterfield, East St. Louis, Granite City, Kansas City, Saint Louis, Springfield, Columbia, Cape Girardeau, and throughout Missouri. Other Cases We Handle In the evening of July 19 th , 2018, a thunderstorm rolled across Branson, Missouri and the surrounding region. A duck boat carrying 31 passengers was ... Get any details in writing before you make a commitment. After being seriously injured, it is not likely that involving the legal system is high on your priority list; however, it would be within your best interests to secure our supportive assistance as soon as possible. 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Cardamom Orange Scones & Birmingham Bloggers Instagram Workshop Brunch Recap

I am so happy and excited to tell you about these scones. Partially because this is the first time I’ve made scones, and partially because I took them to an event that Birmingham Bloggers hosted over the weekend, which was such a blast! We had an Instagram Workshop Brunch (!!!), but I’ll get to that a little bit further down in the post.

Cardamom Orange Scones, prefect for brunching!

This post’s alternate title is “What I learned when I made scones for the first time.” Because the first time I made them about a week ago, I misread the recipe, but I didn’t realize it until last Friday. I knew something hadn’t gone right because my scones came out pretty much like cake, and when I read the recipe again I realized I had used two sticks of butter instead of one. Which explains why they puffed up and grew into each other in the oven. #facepalm

My plan was to make them again on Friday for the brunch on Saturday, so I figured I knew what went wrong and it would be a cinch this time. I was EXTREMELY WRONG. The scones turned out perfectly, so that part was good, but they were MONSTEROUS. They were the biggest scones I have ever seen! They would have taken up the entire plates we were planning on serving them on! I couldn’t bring myself to throw them out though, so I kept them to use in these photos.

Reluctantly, I decided to make them again. This time, instead of forming the dough into a circle and cutting it into 8 wedges, I split the dough in half, cut it into wedges, and made 16 smaller scones. They were just the right size! BUT I didn’t mix the butter in well enough, and it basically melted right out of the scones in the oven. They were super flat, didn’t brown, and were overcooked around the edges.

I could have cried at this point because I was cleaning up dough off my counters at two in the morning. So I went to sleep. And then woke up at 5:30 to make them again. I just really wanted to nail these scones! I wanted them to be so good! Other people were going to eat these, you know? Thankfully they turned out wonderfully Saturday morning because I used my food processor. I don’t know why I didn’t use the first few times, but that’s my advice to you. Use your food processor. It is so much easier than using a pastry cutter and the whole thing goes so much quicker. Food processor is key.

So now let’s talk about this brunch. About a month ago, my friend Rachel and blogger behind Stupid Good Rachel, approached Meredith and I about an event for the Birmingham Bloggers. She wanted to have a brunch and cook all the food (so we were like, Uhh yeah okay!), and we decided to pair it with a photography workshop with an Instagram focus. As far as decor and menu, we settled on a citrus + winter white kind of theme. Rachel also works in the photography department at Cooking Light magazine, so she was able to give a lot of good insight into taking photos for Instagram.

Rachel was also able to bring us tons of props! After going over Instagram tips, there was a yogurt bar where everyone could build their own little yogurt parfaits. We had a million different toppings and tons of bowls and spoons to choose from. Then there was another table set up with a few different surfaces, and everyone got to snapping their Instagrams!

We hosted the even at The Nest, which was such a perfect location. Kristen, the owner and the commander in chief of Baking Bandits, had just the space we were looking for. We decided on 14 seats for this brunch, so we needed a smaller venue. The Nest also has floor to ceiling windows in the front, which was incredible for taking photos. As a baker and avid Instagrammer herself, Kristen totally understood our need for a space with tons of natural light.

Meredith, Rachel and I spent a majority of the event in the kitchen prepping food and washing dishes. But Rachel created such a killer menu, I still can’t even believe it. The yogurt parfaits became the first course, then there was a Super Green Salad with fresh satsumas and tahini dressing. For the main dish, Rachel made baked eggs with creamed spinach and crispy prosciutto. To go along with it, she made lemon zest home fries. Ugh, it all looked so good. Thankfully, Meredith and I were able to sneak some of the leftover home fries afterward! The last course was my scones, which Rachel plated with homemade whipped cream and grapefruit zest. Fanciest scones I’ve ever seen.

As a party favor, we ordered some macarons from Magic City Macarons. If there is one thing that people freak out over on Instagram, it is macarons. And Nancy makes some serious macarons, y’all. We ordered cinnamon orange to keep with our citrus theme, and funfetti because everyone loves funfetti.

Now, we are totally in love with The Nest. If you live in the Birmingham Area, Kristen will be creating a bakery in The Nest next year for Baking Bandits, so it will be doing double duty. I’m so excited to see what she does with the space, and y’all can definitely count on us having an event there again in the future!

This was the first time Meredith and I have ever planned anything like this, and while it was a lot of work, I am so, so excited about how it turned out. I’ve LOVED seeing everybody’s photos on Instagram and reading the recaps on blogs. It seems like everyone enjoyed the workshop and Rachel’s stupid good food!

Lastly before I finally move on to the recipe, I just want to say thanks to all the Birmingham Bloggers members who came to the event! When Meredith, Molly, and I first launched this group, we wanted to have events where bloggers could meet each other, have some in-person blog support, partner with local Birmingham businesses, and provide bloggers with beneficial information and experience. I hope you were all able to walk away with some of each!

And now, on to the Cardamom Orange Scones! I hope you don’t have to make them three times before you get to eat them. 🙂

Cardamom Orange Scones, prefect for brunching!

Cardamom Orange Scones
Soft on the inside and crisp on the outside, these scones are spiced with cardamom and cinnamon, and are drizzled in a fresh orange glaze.
for the scones
  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1½ tsp baking powder
  • ½ cup granulated sugar
  • 1 tsp cardamom
  • ½ tsp cinnamon
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp orange zest
  • ½ cup (ONE STICK) butter, cold
  • ½ cup heavy cream
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
for the glaze
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 3 tsp fresh orange juice
  • 2 tbsp heavy cream
cardamom orange scones
  1. In a food processor, combine flour, baking powder, sugar, cardamom, cinnamon, salt, and orange zest. Pulse a couple times to mix, then cut the butter into chunks and add to the food processor. Process until butter is completely incorporated, and the mixture resembles the texture of slightly damp sand. Transfer to a large bowl.
  2. In another bowl, combine heavy cream, egg, and vanilla, and whisk to combine. Pour this mixture over the flour mixture and fold until a dough forms.
  3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line two baking sheets with parchment paper or a silpat baking mat. Lightly dust a clean surface with flour. Divide the scone dough in half, and form each half into flat round disks about half an inch thick. (You may need to use flour on your hands.) Slice each round of dough into 8 wedges, giving you a grand total of 16 wedges.
  4. Carefully transfer the wedges to the prepared baking sheets, placing 8 on each. Space the wedges at least 2-3 inches apart because they will puff up in the oven.
  5. Bake for 15 minutes. The scones should be golden brown and crisp on the outside. Let the scones cool before glazing.
fresh orange glaze
  1. In a bowl, combine powdered sugar, orange juice, and heavy cream. Whisk until completely combined. Drizzle glaze over scones and enjoy!
Recipe from bethcakes. All images and content are copyright protected. Please do not use my images without permission. If you would like to republish this recipe, please re-write the recipe in your own words, or link back to this post for the recipe. Thank you.

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World Food Day @ Plenary Hall, FAO Headquarters, Rome, Italy
Oct 16 all-day

THEME: Change the future of migration.  Invest in food security and rural development.

The Director-General of FAO will be joined by Pope Francis and Ministers of Agriculture attending the Group of Seven (G7) meetings for the official ceremony on 16 October at FAO Headquarters. Whereas traditionally a message from His Holiness is delivered during the WFD ceremony, for the first time, the Pope will attend in person and call on the international community to change the future of migration. The presence of the G7 Ministers of Agriculture will be testament to the important link between food security, rural development and migration on the political agenda. Other special guests will include EU Commissioner Phil Hogan and the Heads of IFAD and WFP.

The world is on the move. More people have been forced to flee their homes than at any time since the Second World War due to increased conflict and political instability. But hunger, poverty, and an increase in extreme weather events linked to climate change are other important factors contributing to the migration challenge.

22nd Global Congress on Biotechnology
Feb 28 – Mar 2 all-day

About Conference:

The International “22nd Global Congress on Biotechnology” brings a chance to gift and discuss all the innovations in Biotechnology. This conference permits leading educational scientists, researchers and industrialists from everywhere the planet to exchange and share their experiences, recent innovations, sensible challenges, advanced instrumentation and analysis results. Biotechnology has a broader set of speakers, and a broader array of programs geared toward each scientists and industrialists. This meeting offers a powerful likelihood to speak regarding the foremost recent advancements latest developments among the sector.

Conference Series LLC Ltd is happy to welcome you to our “Biotechnology 2019” that is to be held on February 28-March 2, 2019 at Berlin, Germany. This includes prompt keynote speakers and displays, Oral and Poster displays, and far a lot of. This additionally includes varied workshops guided by eminent delegates.

Why to attend?

Biotechnology 2019 may be a world stage for exhibiting analysis regarding designation, hindrance and management and exchanging concepts regarding it and through this fashion, adds to the unfold of data in Biotechnology and child health for the advantage of every learned community and business. The organizing committee of the “Biotechnology 2019”is preparing for associate energizing and instructive meeting program furthermore as comprehensive lectures, symposia, workshops on an expansion of topics, poster displays and various programs for participants from all over the world. We tend to tend to ask you to the Biotechnology 2019, where you will confirm to possess a major experience with students from all around the world. All members of the commercial Biotechnology 2019, organizing committee expect to fulfil you in Berlin, Germany.

Targeted audience:

  • Students
  • Research Scholars
  • Scientists
  • Young Researchers
  • Biotechnology Industries
  • Biotech Food Industry
  • Agro industry
  • Digital medicine and therapeutic companies
  • Pharma, biotech, and tech companies
  • Health care industries
  • Venture capital, private equity, and institutional investors
  • Buy and sell-side analysts
  • Biotechnology researchers
  • Business associates
  • Biotechnology entrepreneurs
  • Training institutes
  • Industrial Biotechnology associations
13th Pan-Asia Farmers Exchange Program @ Manila Hotel
Apr 1 – Apr 5 all-day

About Program

The Pan-Asia Farmers Exchange Program or the FX Program is a platform of knowledge sharing and exchange on agricultural plant biotechnology.

It brings together farmers and other stakeholders from Asia to learn about plant biotechnology through first-hand experience by visiting plant biotech commercial farms and R&D biotech facilities; and interacting with farmers, scientists, media and policymakers.

The FX Program has been held annually since 2007. The 9th FX Program was held Mar 2-7 in the Philippines. The CropLife Asia, CropLife Philippines and the Biotechnology Coalition of the Philippines have organized the nine editions of the FX program.


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Oct 2, 2007

Have you ever taken a sales course where you learned how to “close”? Or, maybe you learned the “‘trial close.” Bill Caskey and Bryan Neale address The issue of closing skills in this podcast – yet they don’t address it in the traditional way. In fact, they lay to rest - hopefully forever – the idea that by delivering certain techniques you can “get someone to make a decision.” That’s not the way it works – and to reinforce those worn out sales tactics does you more harm than good. This podcast will rewire your sales mind a little – which will allow you to operate from a different mental position when getting decisions.


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The Sinistral World of Beans

the only world of beans that coils in an anti-clockwise direction so that when viewed spire pointing upwards, to produce an aperture at the left instead of the right

A wholly needless, I expect, link to the main page.

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stupid pictures V
stupid pictures IV
stupid pictures III
stupid pictures II I/II
stupid pictures II
stupid pictures I

aw naw, not cosmo's cosmic adventure!
Kirby part 1
Kirby part 2
Kirby part 3
Dynamite HeaddY?
McDonald's Treasureland Adventure
Pac in Time part 1
Pac in Time part 2
Air Fortress
Super Widget
Back to the Forest
Tintin and the Prisoners of the Sun
Bip Bop II
Barney's Hide and Seek "Game"
Moraff's Dungeons of the Unforgiven
Super Games Galore! Doy!

not sgg
Mall Blandness
More words
Mall Egadness
Las Vegas
Spiderman 2
Jope and Dopes
These Green Eyes
Game Over
Mall orneryness
Movies I'm not going to see
Back School to fashion
Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
Official pizza of Nascar
Michael Jackson
Free Speech
Film Critics. I hate them.
Coconuts. I hate those as well.
Independence Day

not not sgg
Awards this website hasn't won
Embarrassing pictures part 1
Embarrassing pictures part 2
The Annotated Umiliphus

One week after too late, March 24, 2005
All my gut tells me is to digest food

As of one week ago, I am officially too old to spend this much time exclusively on things which benefit no one. That doesn't mean I'll stop, only that I'll regret it slightly more.
This year, I did not receive any internet birth's date greetings. I hadn't done anything that should give me reason to think I deserved one, but I at least expected a few of those happy birthday from emotionless date-checking computer program run by some cliquey internet messageboard delusively calling itself "community" you signed up at in a prolonged moment of weakness! Beside the way, if you happen to run any of those, do us both a favor and ban whatever name I registered. If you're not sure which, it would probably be any that link to this page in their "member profiles." If I am able to register a new one, because of the dynamic compuserve IP address handling, ban that too (dynamic IP means it's different every time, which, if you have the power to ban people, you ought to know, you slog). Don't try to "warn" me or advise me on the proper etiquette, since I have no intentions of getting along with anyone. If I ask a question which makes me look confused and in need of help, it is you who is confused and, not so much in need of getting my joke, because that would deprive it of value to me, but rather in need of getting my impertinent, incorrigible wretchness banned, you stupid bicycle. I have better things to do than make those posts, and you potentially could have better things to do than impotently reply to them.
Now that I'm on the verge of the subject, making fun of l337 languagers on a regular, constant basis isn't funny because they haven't existed for six years. I tried that game myself back in 2000, as in: almost as long ago, and no one laughed then, either. It just looks like you yourself speak that way. You probably think you're making fun of people who thought they were making fun of someone else who also wasn't sincere. Your irony has folded in upon itself. Similarly, your use of the prefix "teh" and the suffix "of dooom" are not mocking anyone, but rather making you look like you truly think that's a good description. And if you do, that's probably even worse. Duck, you sicken me.

I was thinking a while back that for this occasion I should finally break down (further) and pay money to get the good webspace. Not for your sake, but mine. If it was for you I'd do it on your birthday. That doesn't really matter, since I didn't do it.
I know the first time I said I was out of room here, I deleted a bunch of unused sound files, and the time after that it was images for some awful comic from I made in 2001, incidentally the thing I initially registered this space and made my mother buy acquired a scanner for on this very same day. A week ago. You'll notice, because I'm saying so, that in referring to the comic, I omit "strip," because it wasn't even that stable. If you've ever seen, on the internet, an angry stick figure badly homaging a scene from Spaceballs with a green recolored Sonic Hedgehog-wearing-Metroid-armor, at least it was in a nice and tidy rectangle, readable from left to right. In addition to being unfunny, the thing I made lost all shape and sequence in less than three pages. I was thinking maybe I'd explain that this summer, and you know how dependable my hypothetical future self always is. Right, so the next time I'm out of room I really will be, and then you'll see some championship whimpering. Watch for it!

but what should I do until then?

Haven't the past years' infatuation with the phrase "game over" been enough? I'm tired of idiot corporations abusing my nostalgia for their own profit. I can just imagine
tired of hearing 'not enough golds' when it comes to car insurance? With Geico, welcome to bonus stage!
Or, or.. is beyond the cave of northwest. Master using it and you can have lower prices on airline tickets! (that's pretty bad. I'm glad I'm only reporting this.)
You spoony bard! Get equipped with toaster. You evolve "Poptarts."
Don't shoot the food. What do ya say! Try buying from Lee's Famous Recipe!
U CRAPPIN' BAD! With Ex-Lax, move "bowels" for great justice.(I can't believe the crassness of these people)
Worried about funeral expenses? Don't get a silk bag from the graveyard duck; rise from your grave to Halifax Regional Crematorium cremation alternatives!
This can only end badly. Even worse if I'm advised to try hard mode or again with my friend.

Actually, it's not just limited to evil corporations. Even evil fringe associations are getting in on the side-scrolling action adventure.
"White, MegaKlan! White, for everlasting peace!"
More on this hopefully never.

Another noise.
Sunday, on This Week,(presumably a television program) on the second anniversary of the war in Iraq, secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld and senator John McCain, on baseball and steroids.
Naturally. What else would two influential government officials possibly talk about on a day specifically denoted as being when a yet unfinished war had started? I have no idea. ABC always has its priorities in order. I only wanted you to hear that sound of an object falling over. Specifically, my left, randomly functioning (I wonder why) computer speaker.

I should stop blaming movie industries for stuff like ROBOTTH. The lack of creativity of the buying public will be reflected in the films they choose to see. If the only way they will watch a movie about robots is if the robots are depicted as completely anthrophomorphous, four-limbed, facial-featured, male and female domestic drones who keep nuclear families and choose Bicentennial Man as their robot role model, those are the movies which will be made. I should accept this because it will not change.

It does make me mad, though, even if that is the funniest film in two and a half months of indispensable classics like Hitch and The Pacifier. It's one thing to give that treatment to characters based on earth creature beings, whether they be squirrels or ducks or fish, which have a biological need for reproduction, but there's no fundamental logic behind a world of she-he robots, and it additionally doesn't seem like this illogic is intentional and regarded as a source of self-ridicule. The people responsible don't even realize how stupid it is. They don't see anything wrong with giving the "woman" robots metal extensions on their "heads" in the shapes of human hairstyles but leaving the "man" robots "bald." It's enough to make me want to spray porcupine "urine" into my "eyes." I kept mostly quiet about this when they were doing it with ants, to say whose social structure employs different gender roles and hardly encourages interpersonal relationships would be an understatement, but I'm nothing less than offended that they'd try to soil the good name of robots. Video games, superheroes, insects, monsters, deep sea life and now robots... It seems like these people won't stop until they've taken every aspect of the world or that imagined with a bit of mystery to it; every subject the least bit unique to make a feature film about, and presented them in typified, homogenous, ABC prime-time Friday night lineup form. For them, The Jetsons was the pinnacle of American visual media in all ways but that it is two dimensional. Next time it will probably be the secret, surprisingly allegorious lives of space aliens or public domain children's book characters. Ehhh? What? Criminy.

I'm glad they always mention it's from the makers of ICE AGE: for one thing, all movies in this genre look identical and employ the same script formulas, so the only way to know who made what is to be told so many, many times. Also, Ice Age is the one among them which I haven't specifically complained about, so this recent endeavor makes up for it. It's almost as if ROBOTS' first goal was to compensate for the previous movie's lack of immediatly apparent, outstanding, uniquely atrocious elements, so that I might be annoyed and moved to words this time.

I think I must have a point if I keep coming back to this. Look, I didn't even mention the horrid computer animation this time. Or that movie about the troll. What? Well, that didn't count, and neither does this. I'll even say something positive. I think, at least, metal things befit the format better than organic things do. Every clip of computer generated humans I've seen has them looking phony and badly proportioned. As opposed, of course, to the hand-drawn ones, which look angular and repulsively stylized. The ones that aren't angular are badly drawn and vulgar. It seems I hate any form of American animation which makes money. That was pretty positive for me.

You may consider it hypocritical that I criticize this system of robotery yet have been known to play Megaman games which do many of the same things. If you think this, first of all, how dare you, and second, let me tell you that, unless this person was writing the script, I'd snort half a gallon of coke syrup before I'd watch a Megaman cartoon, and I don't even know where to purchase that substance, so I won't be starting any time in the forseeable future.

It seems that Kelsey Grahamcracker will not, in fact, be performing sketches on Kelsily Grambor Presents The Sketch Show. While, for the sake of the program itself, this is good, it hardly validates his name being in the title, and actually makes that aspect even more mysterious. His name is there because he is one of the executive producers of the show. Kelsey Gramophone's name appears exclusively either because he demanded that or the people who work at FOX network are morons. Or perhaps both sides met halfway and worked out a compromise deal on that. Consider that Donald Trump, a commercial whore/masturbateur, who probably writes his name on food before eating it, is content to have a television show (which he actually appears on), just called The Apprentice.

I mentioned Davias Chapele before (which I tell you because if you have known you've surely forgotten), and how shows like his are usually cancelled. Even if I'd like to grate and melt most of the people who watch it, I'm glad for Chappele, really, that he was at last able to achieve the success he deserved. It might be argued that cowriting and starring in a feature film with a nationwide theatrical release that achieved a cult following counts as success, but understand that cult followings are not big ticket buyers. They'll wait for the video release, one member who has a job will purchase a copy, and then that will spend the rest of its functional existence in perpetual borrowance. Cult followings are generally comprised of losers who love to quote things, but there are different types. For example, you wouldn't confuse a woman-fearing Monty Python cult with a man-ignoring Xena: Warrior Princess cult. Half Baked managed to win the affection of the don't-yet-realize-they've-given-up-on-life cult. The sort that cheers inanely every time the existence of alchohol, marijuana or swear words are acknowledged on film. The kind that's probably passed out drunk for two thirds of the movie so they don't realize how boring it is. I don't consider this cult an accomplishment because I could get my own just by typing the number "69" in an AOL chatroom. They aren't hard to impress. That's why they're named after people who will drink poisoned Kool-Aid at the command of the first person to come along with a pendant and fancy mustache. I don't like to think Dave Chapelle feels a sense of accomplishment from the approval of these fans, no. It wasn't until Comedy Central gave him a fifty million dollar contract to not make any more episodes for whyever that he knew he'd done something. There are a lot of things that are hilarious in five minute sketches, but once you try to incorporate an original plot that lasts sixteen such periods, the whole setup is ruined.

How is it I wrote all that today, yet struggle to conclude shorter things from ages ago? Don't shout out if you know the answer, just write it down.

The Day Before Thursday, March 17, 2005
Paddy is not a saint. Paddy is where rice is grown.

I saw part of the re-airing of the more recent Queen Lateefuh Saturday Night Live program not incredibly long ago, and guess what she did? No, not have at least one line inserted into the script in which another character extorts her physical attractiveness. Not during the portion I saw, anyway. At least on that show, it might only be John Goodman who gets to do that. So no, this time it was a McHammer reference. I don't think that edition of the show was from too long before November, so it's certainly within that period I mentioned the other time. Strangely, just about the same span of time that Martha Stewart was imprisoned. Clearly, she possesses a power which supresses this inexcusable behaviour. This is why her aides were unable to warn her "U can't touch insider trading." One good thing to come out my recent experience: I think I have figured out what bothers me so much. As a person who regarded U Can't Touch This as being on level with Ninja Turtles and Skittles when I first heard it, I now can percieve a very irritating yet somehow easily overlooked characteristic which the joke attempts all have in common: The joke attemptor says "neh, neh neh neh can't touch this!" There should be a pause, a weird organ noise and then (optionally) a U between the last "neh" and "can't touch this." They intentionally omit this first, just to annoy me, and second because whatever hack they're ripping off also omitted it. Compare and contrast. It just sounds wrong. It should, because it is! And imagine how many I'm not hearing. I bet these things are all over those Will and Grace and Zoey and Duncan and Heinz and Kato and Ken and Kaelin and a Pizza Place shows. If I regarded any one highly enough to watch it, I'd hypothetically be highly disappointed.

That same Saturday, I also took sight of an unfortunate advertisement vague enough that I suspect for me to know more about would deprive the following passage of potential merit, so I'll say it now before that happens. Kelsey Grammer Presents The Sketch Show. And so, what? Is he involved with the sketch show beyond presenting it? Does it really matter who presents it? Does anyone need to present it? Does this benefit anyone but the writers who have to make one less sketch for the time filled by meaningless applause and "Welcome back to the Sketch Show! We'll be right back!" I bet there's a house band, too. In the event the presenter is of any signifigance, is this enough so as to name the entire program after that person? It's not just because I hate Kelsey Grammar that I mention this, it's also that his name is in the title. Even In Living Color, which employed an estimated thirteen thousand Wayans brothers, didn't put Wayans in the title. You can't perform [many] sketches with just one person, and even if you could, it needn't follow that it be the same one person in all of them. Chappelle's Show worked, to some extent, because Dave Chappelle had a somewhat unique sense of humor not usually seen on basic cable before eleven pm, at least not on any show that wasn't quickly cancelled. Kelsulus Gremmar is famous for being a pretensious ass and also Frasier, who has had a primed time network slot for twenty goldurned years. If he had anything unique to contribute he'd have done it or at least hinted at its possible existence by now. Also, the name: The Sketch Show. It is not the sketch show, it is a sketch show. Next, the network: It's on FOX. Why would FOX commission a second sketch show, especially after, for the first time in five years, I liked more than one consecutive episode of Mad TV? That's correct, just to annoy me. "But wait, Jennifer Talia on the long since defuncted Athanon forum! Kelsey Grammar was the voice of Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons! That thus vindicates him of any unjust or mediocre deeds for all eternity!" First of all, you can't prove that was me. Second, saying stuff into a microphone isn't that hard. If brainrobbed goons like Hilary Doofenheimer and Elmo and Casey and the Sunshine Band can do it, I doubt that in itself is a grand accomplishment. "Speaking of talented musicians, Nellie's first big hit was named after Kelsey Grammer! That must count for something!" I'd estimate a sockful of lima beans, but only if you promised to return the sock.

Kirsty Ali is fat. Or so I am told. A lot. By television people. I've either never watched any filmed production that she's been involved with, or didn't notice she was, so it makes not a difference to me. I see a lot of fat people; she could have been any one of them. So what, then? So this: I did hear that every time she "strays" from her weight loss attempt, she will donate one hundred dollars to her favorite charity. Hmmm. If Kirstee Ellie really wants to prove how selfless she is, that money should go to her least favorite charity. Especially so if, as I suspect, her favorite charity is the "Kirstie Alley Hunger Relief Fund."

More news with no relevance to me that I keep hearing anyway: Someone hacked Paris Hilton's Sidekick! I had long wished for someone to hack Paris Hilton and then, to prove the job was done, symbolically kick one of the sides over, so you can imagine my excitement quickly fading into disappointment at the first news of this, so that I need not even describe it. Even knowing the actual story, I have reason to doubt that as well. No one hacked Paris Hilton's Sidekick. The people who sell Sidekicks leaked the information themselves just to get "Sidekick" mentioned on television a lot. I didn't know there was a handheld annoyance machine called "sidekick" until this story came up. I still won't buy one, but now I know that I could and might in the event I sneezed half my brain out one day, and my knowledge of the object was in the remaining half. Oh, fear!

As I still cannot drive a car vehicle and couldn't afford to have one anyway, I still am treated to Air Amelica radio during the voyage to and from that place that I go and come to and from. If you live in an area which doesn't receive it, do not own a radio object, or are deaf, you can recreate the experience by pulling several pieces of hair off of your head (or elsewhere) and putting them in your mouth. In the event you do not have a mouth, you may continue pulling out hair. If you are the icon this page has when viewed in Netscape and lack both hair and a mouth, you do not really exist and so I am not concerned with you.
Shockingly, from November up to about two weeks ago, I hadn't heard a thing from Al Franken. I wonder what the problem could have been? Who did make a surprising audio appearance, however, was your hero and mine, Matthew Lesko. "You've probably seen me all over the television shows!" he claims. "On all the talk shows!" If he would replace "on" with "during," I would move towards agreeance, for unless adspace of a talk show or a 2:30 am informertial made to resemble one count, which I assure you they do not, I question that statement's validity. His promotion in prestigious Weekly World News some years ago also emphasized the "talk show icon" point. I don't doubt that at some point he was a guest on every show he mentions, but certainly, as long as I've been watching any one of them, he's never been asked to return. Carrot Top, Dame Edna and even Rob Schneider were let back on The Tonight Show before Lesko was. Imagine his place on the heirarchy of a show with guest standards.
In addition to the books Lesko sells, he offers an audio version, which he boasts to be "six hours" worth of that. Six hours of Lesko-themed audio. My first thought after hearing that was: I just hope he got someone else to record it. The idea of that guy screaming about government grants from 5 to 11 doesn't seem like a thing anyone wants.

Also, I heard the story of 877-IVE-GOT-GAS, the telephone number / battle cry for Infinite Energy, which, while every bit as classy, is sadly unaffiliated with another legendary Weekly World News sponsor, Infinite Energy's New York branch is actually called "Intelligent Energy," which implies that the energy turn your appliances against you if you dare point out the ignorant shortsightedness of assuming the energy will never run out. No one will ever know what happened, because when the energy does run out, and the appliances with it, they will go to Mars.

Don't look for the fugitives on the Mars Rover camera; it is one of them! Don't you see?! No, because I said not to look. I can't think why you'd want to see them, or orange rocks, anyway.

Monday, March 07, 2005
if the shoe fits, there's no room for a sock

I saw, at Wednesday, February the two, a computer printout advertising POETRY CLUB that struck me as so odd that I believed to not document it's existence would be worse than any atrocities commited by such a club. I wanted to take the paper and scan it, but I held me from doing it for the reason that I didn't want anyone who might witness my action to think I thought that would be the reason it's not going to get any members. Though certainly, the big picture of a clipboard and the checked box beside the word "APPROVED" won't hurt. I eventually did procure the object I sought, and at first felt bad about it, more because of what my plans for it were than that it was an unjust revocation of another person's right to bulletin: That it had just been covered by a Black History Month event (?) calendar on the seventh of February indicated that it had been alotted time, and that this was now up. I also decided that I was not unfairly criticizing an innocent, easily overlooked error, as there were, and still are, copies of the announcement on every other bulletin board, so it's not like someone didn't write this, look it over, print it, look over it some more, hang it up in various places, step back and look one last time without thinking "this is the message I want people to see."
If anything, I'm helping out by letting a few more people see it. I first delivered this to the attention of Saint Zartan, a person whom in the past had made myself aware of items similar in nature to the one described herein. Although I felt the page perhaps undeserving to bear his words, he seemed not to object when I suggested the possibility, so I have presented them there in the manner you requested, o glorious Frimbip. As the words appeared to me as plain text, the formatting and link are, most likely, entirely my doing.

The Poetry Club flyer is just such a beautiful trainwreck; I meant to write back sooner with my thanks but I honestly couldn't even conceive of where to begin savaging this ridiculous artifact. There is a tiny voice inside me, a little flickering flame of compassion, that says something to the effect of "at least these people are doing something social and constructive instead of huffing glue out behind the Target and abusing small animals", but I will ignore it, because, for the moment, that will be more fun. DELICIOUS VINYL!

"New Club" organize by Feli'ecia.

That is the first sentence, and again, I don't know where to start because there are at LEAST three things wrong with it. "New Club" - why is this capitalized? Is "New Club" the name of the club? It would be a better name, at any rate, than "Poetry Club", as the rest of the flyer pretty plainly indicates that you can "make friends, have fun & get to know others" by writing, well,  "just anything"! There is a dry cleaning joint near my parents' house called "Your Favorite Cleaners"; "New Club" is an equally good name for a club in the same sense.

"New Club" organize by...

There are two possible reasons for this little mangling of the language
(a) Feli'ecia doesn't read what she writes to see if it actually makes sense in a verbal context.
(b) Feli'ecia writes EXACTLY like she speaks.

Which is worse: that her parents may have named her "Felicia", and this is her "I'm all grown up and forging my own personality" respelling, or that her parents DID name her "Feli'ecia". "Why would anyone do this", he said in his best "House of the Dead 2" deadpan. Good lord, all these nested apostrophes. Also, the issue of the stamp:

The fact that the flyer was stamped means that it was "approved". Only people with the power to approve flyers should have access to the stamp. Therefore, the presence of the word "approved" ought to be sufficient. The little check in the box means what? It means NOTHING; it comes with the stamp. There is no way for the box to be unchecked - what would make more sense is...

ARRGH. You can see how I could go on and on like this. The "Poetry Club" flyer is just an amazing little piece of our human experience. This is the message they wanted us to see.

Also my doings are those which follow. You will be reminded presently that I do not do them as well.

Attend open mics, poetry slams, & poetry contests.

I would normally assume "poetry slam" to be a poetic insult, but the presence of "attend" informs me that this is a gathering of some sort. Perhaps a gathering in which people insult poetry? Maybe that sounds like a good time, but I have to think it would be more efficient and productive if it were not held seperately from the poetry contests. Do not tease me in that way!

Any other ideas you may have will get noticed.

Not necessarily comprehended or further positively acknowledged, but they will be noticed. Much like ducks notice armadillos, or fellow Gateway bulletin board alumnus Mao Tse Tung notices dissention, or Luciano Pavarotti notices meatballs. None of these seem like they'd help my idea along very much. If anything, they'll suppress it (Mao) and eat it (Pavarotti), but not before taking obscene, humiliating photographs of it (ducks).

I have an advisor all I need is some students who willing to write with creativity and have fun.

Oh, you'll need more than that.
From my research*, the prime focus of any advisor is to usurp the throne and marry the sultan/emperor's daughter. I don't see how that helps this situation. Worse, I do consider it a definite harbinger of the downfall of civilization that there are so few students willing to have fun that you need to hang up 16 different advertisements in the same building to seek them out (and what says "good time" or symbolizes unique thought better than a big clipboard?). All they want to do is work, help people, and take responsibility for their own actions. Were this a nation built upon the decadence and ignorance of consumers, it would surely be doomed.
*playing Prince of Persia

Students who can sit back & laugh about mistakes in writing,

I see nothing upon which to remark here.

Students who can sit back & laugh about mistakes in writing, different types of writing, perfection of writing, &/or the fun of coming up with topics.

Sometimes, when I come across incomplete sentences.

As of some time not long before now, and likely not long after I move this off the main page, this website is the number one google result for the query “tomagotchies.” Sure, there are only 25 others, it's misspelled, and no one who comes here looking for that is likely to stay, but wouldn't it be arrogant for me to make a brag that was in any way valid or significant?

These olives must be punished for their sins!

Unfortunately, with the horrid tidal waves terrorizing Asia, many people didn't hear about the massive sugar avalanches in Europe

Figure 1: My third glass of iced tea. I suppose it was my second, since the first was refilled (I'm told for free) once and then replaced by a newer model when I desired not to have new ice. Although without ice a fool might think it would just be tea, but, being a fool, this person forgets that icing can also refer to the sugary substance a cake is topped with. And so it should not surprise you to be informed that I invested much sugar into this endeavor. Seventeen Domino brand sugar packlets in all. The third iced tea drink was somewhat flat... if you have the most basic math skills (if you are the fool from before this doesn't excuse you) you may have deduced that this was lacking a sixth dose of sugar. By a strange coincidence, it was after making the count and realizing this that I noticed I had used them all. There was another brand's sugar available, but I couldn't be certain that it would come in the same amount per unit, and it was important, maybe, that I knew exactly how much I had used and I could not know this so well if a different measurement system suddenly came into use.

Those three olives are only there to be Greek.

Figure 2: Sugar unit container devoid of Domino contents. Above, my use for the strange artifacts which accompanied my pancakes on their journey to the table I used. The person in the distance attempting to hide decided my work would be more complete with a toothpick stuck in it, and went so far as to make this so. Immediately afterwards, it fell down. In time, however, I rebuilt the structure, but person startled the tower while trying to escape camera range, collapsing it anew.
It occured to me that if I was able to make this three times it wasn't special enough to deserve its picture be taken, but I decided that I wanted the waitering person to see it. You as well, I suppose. Ehhh.

I don't like living with cats. Humans aren't always spectacular either (such as when, for example, they insist on having cats around), but no one of them is going to try to bite food out of my mouth. At least, no human that I wouldn't already have ruled out living with based on other criteria. I'd feel bad and emotionally distant keeping one in a cage (the humans or not), but otherwise I just feel emotionally distant. A cat won't laugh at jokes (presumably, not even good ones) and the only jokes a cat will tell are the same ones every other cat has been telling for 4000 years. Hey, you can get over agitated regarding a piece of string! What's that? You can lie dormant for nine hours and suddenly raise your head in alarmed, disturbed interest at the sound of a vacuum cleaner? You're a genius!

You know what else cats do? They vomit. And they don't even need to get drunk and possibly help anyone else enjoy themselves first. Cats vomit with the sole intent to damage property. Cats are scoundrels.

The day before the last day of the last month before March, February 27, 2005
i have a way with people, one which clearly annoys them.

If I've seemed slow to update this recently, and even if I haven't, because I'm the only person interested, it's because of a sudden increase in outside demanding factors, the least of which, and therefore the one which engages me the most, is my peculiar doom edit. That is, a collection of files which modify the game Doom so that it is different, yet not quite different enough as to justify one tenth of the time invested in it. What's even better, I realized, after nearly two years without any kind of "flow" being established, it may never be finished, meaning I'll never have to worry about facing solid indifference after making it downloadable. So the day for that to happen is far off, if it exists. However, I can have no shortage of pictures of it in operation. If you're using 800x600 resolution or somehow even less than that, this here should have made that list to the left absolutely unreadble. Oh, I can see you're dismayed.

Intricate details!

Special effects!

Great graphics!

Nonstop action and adventure!

Volume control!

I tried to replace that second picture with a non-stretched 640x400 image, but I can't even get that level to load now, don't know what thing I did wrong to make that happen, and have no idea where to start looking. That's how lost a cause this is.

Berg just hasn't been the same since getting all that publicity for sinking the Titanic
It was five days over a year ago that I declared my inability to locate this. I have found it since then. Just as I lost it when I aquired a scanner, so did I find it again once that scanner recieved damage. However, I did not lose the card again. Perhaps you heard. I wondered in the past what says "I love you" better than an angry, nearly naked, snarling man, and I now realize that is one who bears candy. At least, I am assuming that's what that curious red splotch is an indicator of the past presence of. Or maybe Goldberg (for that is the man's name) has just been shot, and rubbed his hand in the wound to see if it had sent forth authentic bleed fluid. YAP, THAT'S REAL BLOOD ALL RIGHT! SNARG! Actually, if you see it so that the finger pointing forward instead is either curved away from you or a thumb, Goldberg also looks kind of like he's holding a really small red teacup. IT'S GREAT STUFF! YA GOTTA TRY SOME, MATE! YES, I AM GOOD FRIENDS WITH CROCODILE DUNDEE. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Whoopi didn't take her show's cancellation very well
Whoa there, don't educate me too much! I suppose it's an improvement on the part of the research department, who didn't bother figuring out where Raven was from, but you'd think they'd spell out Oklahoma in its entirety just to fill the extra space. But you'd also think whoever was passing these around could have located the "to:" field. It was nice that you took the time to remind me (for the purposes of the remainder of this paragraph we will pretend my name is "brendalyn") by number what room I'm in, but how am I even going to know that if you wrote my name all the way down there? Let's suppose I locate the name; how do I know this wasn't actually intended for Drendalyn? If you read the page from that link up there or just have an insufferably good memory for insignificant details, you will recall that I received two cards. Perhaps I think now that one of them was intended for Drendalyn. How do I find Drendalyn? I can't ask Student Council; that they gave Drendalyn's to me would indicate that they don't know any better than I do. That they were giving out valentine cards featuring professional wrestlers would indicate a more extensive information deficiency.

Lo! There be four people in a television studio made to resemble a kitchen. I guess they're supposedly having a family meeting or something. Someone even says "is this a family meeting?" The one who has called it I gather to be the mother by the fact that she isn't allowed to sit at the table. The others wonder why they have been summoned. "It's called," mother replies, wumping a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on the table, "dinner! ...together." Surprise! What I want to know is: could those other people really not smell that stuff in their own house? Whether you don't like it or do, you can smell that before it even reaches the driveway. It's illegal to eat that on boats because sharks will jump out of the water to get it. Do these people live inside a KFC or what? And if they did, why would they look forward to eating its product? Next the view shifts to one that also has a bucket but not people, perhaps symbolizing the preserving chemicals in the meat allowing it to exist long after humans have become extinct. The bucket looks something like this except it only has Original Recipe brand chicken in it:

It's just like eating Colonel Sanders' brain
KFC isn't as cruel as you've heard; since they massacre the whole family together there's no worrying or mourning among the birds.

The announcer reports nine pieces of their frequently touted as of late "delicious drumsticks and thighs," and some other stuff for only $9.99 which, by the way, is his way of telling you that dark meat doesn't sell as well as white meat, which they'd never let you have that much of for less than $12, even without said other stuff. But beyond that I have to wonder: What else is in that bucket? If it were full there'd have to be like eighty pieces of chicken in that thing, so that either means the chickens have gotten a lot smaller or the buckets have gotten a lot bigger. Since the people in the advertisement were normal sized in comparison to the chicken and I wasn't paying attention to the bucket at that point, it must be the latter option. But of course there isn't that much more chicken in the extra space; I don't believe any successful American business would give anything more than offered unless the excess was entirely undesired. If anything, I'd expect them to go for gradually smaller buckets to make the chicken look bigger at first, and over time decrease the amount of chicken so that they can point out the overall decreased fat content and spuriously claim to be more "health conscious." At the moment, however, that is one huge bucket. If the entire reported contents fit in that space, why do we need a bucket at all? Maybe it's for people who get ill from eating KFC but are in too much of a hurry to pull their vehicle over to a roadside and deal with it. After you've eaten the chicken and removed the complimentary roll of toilet paper, the empty bucket doubles as a waste management object. KFC, for the diarhetic on the go, because you don't always have time to go!

Jared Fogle sez:
Do you think I really still eats Subway food? Like if I goes to one I'd gets any service? Traditionally, service workers have hated their media representation, whos can promise any old crazy thing they wants and not haves to worry about doing it, and when this happens to be a real person, especially one who's never operated behind the counter himself's, there are going to be some issues. So no, I don't go there. I doesn't want to anyway. I'm can afford to not be health concious now. I have so much money just from being Subway's Charles Manson figure for so long, that in addition to what I's going to tell you after this, I plugs a vaccuum hose into my stomach and have perpetual liposuction performed continuously while eating, to keep "in shape" for the next Subway ad when I command my subjects to swarm into Subways across the nation the next day and demand Atkins approved chocolate clam-spam sandwiches none of the staffses have been instructed how to prepare. In my's spare time, however, I lies nude on a gold futon-toilet and watches a truck pull up to my house, and then people comes out to forcefeed me whoppers and french fries from Burger King (so not only am I a hypocrite, I'm disloyal, too) at a rate a single human could not accomplish, and while that's going on I drinks a porkfat milkshake out of the big clown pants I'm always carrying around, just in case you were wondering why I does.

Lieutenant Jared Fogle
Note: The above message does not necessarily represent the thoughts or words ofs Jared Fogle. I'm just likes to type "Fogle." Fogle, Fogle, Fogle.

Let's blow this joint     The late 1980s called. They said you can keep their awful vernacular.

Leave me alone.