text:
Paying the Price of Attempting Normal

Despite all the scary stuff--which she hates--Halloween's always been one of our daughter Awesome's favorite holidays.  She's always loved choosing who or what she wants to be.  And then dressing up, knocking on neighbors' doors, and collecting treats.  The planning.  The excitement.  The social aspect.  The candy.  Everything.

But, since discovering a couple of years ago that candy causes seizures for her, we've had to make some Halloween-related adjustments.  That first year after our unhappy discovery, Awesome went trick-or-treating, but didn't eat the candy.  And then last year, though she dressed up, she didn't go trick-or-treating; instead, she handed out candy at our front door.  But this year, given her current mental state--can you spell p-u-b-e-r-t-y?--and her growing frustration with epilepsy's restrictions, she decided early on that, rather than do Halloween half-way yet again--which would just serve as another reminder of all the things she can't have--her strategy would be to ignore Halloween altogether.  To sit it out.  And not participate at all.  In any way.

And because she was unwavering in her decision--and it was totally her idea and she argued the merits of her choice to us rationally and well---we simply respected her decision.  We didn't try to dissuade or otherwise persuade her.  We simply noted, silently and sadly, that epilepsy had stolen yet another thing from her.  Something she really loved.

However, October 31st still had another trick up its sleeve.  One that would help make up for Awesome's loss.

Exactly 500 years ago--on All Hallows' Eve (Halloween) in 1517--a German monk named Martin Luther nailed 95 theses to the church door in Wittenburg, Germany.  And in so doing, he somewhat unwittingly helped set off a series of events--a revolt, a revolution--known as the Protestant Reformation.  And because of that, October 31st, at least in some circles, has become a day to commemorate not only Martin Luther's posting of his 95 Theses, but also, the whole of the Protestant Reformation.  October 31st is not just Halloween (All Hallows' Eve)--it's also Reformation Day.

And Reformation Day this year was quite a big deal.  A 500th Anniversary big deal.

In honor of this big deal, our family was invited to a Reformation Day party--to be held on October 28th, the Saturday before Reformation Day.  When we got the invitation, Awesome was very happy.  Here was a chance both to spend time having fun with her writing group friends--from one of whose families the invitation had come--and also a chance to get dressed up in a costume--just like she'd have done for Halloween.

We were to come dressed in period garb--1500's garb, that is.  At this point in our lives, coming up with a costume that might even halfway resemble something 16th century-ish was a little beyond us.  So Awesome did some checking with her writing group friend and found that we need not come in Medieval costume. Any costume or no costume at all would do.  And so Awesome decided to dress in her favorite Halloween costume from years past: a hyena costume I'd made her 3 years earlier.  And me?  No costume at all--just my normal clothes plus a heavy sweatshirt and a wool coat, because it's getting very cold out there, and I'm a wimp when it comes to the cold.

If you live long enough, you find that life is increasingly full of ironies. The connections between people, places, things, and events that aren't connected at first glance start to pile up--in weird, ironic, humorous, and unexpected ways--increasingly and amazingly, until sometimes life seems like one big kaleidoscope of astonishing relationships between disparate things. These connections are like a hidden reality that becomes visible only over time; or like a giant cosmic connect the dots.  The interconnectedness between things is a complex web of interrelationships that resemble a spider's web. Reality is a fabric in which the connections between any two things are numerous.

Here's an example of this: as Awesome and I prepared to attend a Reformation Day party, David (my husband, Awesome's dad) was sitting in an airport waiting to board an international flight to Geneva Switzerland---one of the cities at the historic epicenter of the Reformation.

David was to arrive in Geneva, a major center of the Protestant Reformation, two days before the 500th Anniversary; and he would be in Geneva on Reformation Day itself, October 31st, 2017.

And, as incredible as it sounds, this was happenstance.  David's trip had nothing whatsoever to do with the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation directly or indirectly--nor even anything at all to do with religion.  He was in Geneva on business--part of a working group on human rights--a group that's met in various places in Europe over the last year or two. That he was in Geneva on the day on the 500th Anniversary of Protestantism's beginning--was just one of those weird and random flukes of life.  Life seems to be full of these sorts of things: coincidences so incredible that it seems like they ought to mean something---if only we could figure out what....

It was just one more instance of the ironic connectedness of things too, that we--as a family--had briefly visited Geneva in 2004.--while I was 5 months pregnant with Awesome.  In Europe for the summer as a family while David did a Human Rights teaching gig, our weekend Geneva visit had been a quick trip to visit a college friend.  Our oldest three sons had immediately joined that friend's oldest son's Boy Scout Troop, which was sailing on Lake Geneva that afternoon.  That left the rest of us--our college friend, David, our youngest two sons, and I (with Awesome in utero)--to spend the day visiting the Protestant Reformation related sites in Geneva.  And now, as the 500th anniversary approached, I was reminded of all the places we'd visited.

Despite Awesome's excitement about the Reformation Day party, I struggled with whether it made sense for us to attend.  I wish we could simply just go to an event like a party.  But with intractable epilepsy we can't,  Going to an event like a party is almost always a bit of a high stakes gamble. And so, to minimize the possible losses, we need a strategy for how to handle things.  First we have to decide whether it makes sense to go at all, given all of Awesome's environmental, diet, routine, etc. constraints.  Is it a time of day when she's seizure prone or more likely to be seizure free?  Does the activity involve seizure triggers or will it be possible to do things in a way that avoids her seizure triggers?  Is it an activity in which, were she to have a seizure, she'd be in endangered or she'd put others in danger?  Is it an activity where her special supervision needs can be accommodated?   And finally, do the benefits of the activity outweigh the possible risks and/or costs to her, us, and others?

Once we decide it might make sense, we still have to agree on how we'll minimize risks both through  supervision and minimizing seizure triggers.
When it comes to supervision, going into a party like this one, where the kids run off to play and the adults tend to stand around and talk, means that keeping Awesome safe is very challenging.  Keeping track of Awesome is hard when both David and I are working together to accomplish it.  But with David in a plane somewhere over the Atlantic at the time of the party, the task of keeping Awesome safe would be all mine--and so, much harder.

Unlike most of the other parents (most of whose children were old enough to not need constant supervision), I wouldn't be able to simply enjoy myself and be content to see my child by happenstance during the evening.  Keeping Awesome safe by keeping her even minimally supervised would necessitate constantly excusing myself at least every 3 to 5 minutes to make sure that she was accounted for and not seizing.   I  could already imagine the way the evening would go.  I would be jumping in and out of conversations, awkwardly excusing myself, and constantly deciding whether to explain the why's of excusing myself or whether to simply look--to the uninitiated--like someone with an anxiety disorder or a bad case of helicopter parenting.

The alternative to jumping in and out of conversations all evening, would have been to shadow Awesome constantly--and I didn't want to do that. What nearly 13 year old,
wants their mom as a constant tag-along?  And what mom wants to be a constant tag along to their nearly 13 year old?  And so, to some degree I would be relying on the other kids to keep Awesome safe during those few minutes between my checking on Awesome--though I would not inform them because I didn't want to saddle them with that responsibility.

But if Awesome suddenly fell down seizing, I had no doubt that, if another child saw that happen, he or she would alert an adult--and the alert would get to me fairly quickly.  Of course, there are 101 cracks in that strategy--cracks big enough for a seizing child to fall through right into 911, an ambulance ride, or even a bed in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.  And so, the longest I would let Awesome go without my direct supervision would be 3-5 minutes, which meant that I'd be checking on Awesome more than 20 times an hour.  My strategy left a lot of room for possible disaster, but it also left a lot of room for an evening of freedom, fun, and being a normal kid for Awesome.

We conscientious epilepsy parents--and most of us are conscientious-- are very aware of the ripple effects a seizure can have on a community.  And the reverberations that might come back to us over time.  Even if everything worked out for Awesome supervision wise, there was the question of the effect a seizure would have if she were to have one at the party.  There would be the question of my feeling guilty for having traumatized others and dampened the mood.  And even more than that. I worried that Awesome's friends' view of her might change if they witnessed a traumatic big seizure.

Epilepsy parents spend time thinking about strategies, weighing risks/costs and benefits, and following what-if scenarios through to their possible conclusions. We worry over these difficult decisions--decisions that can seem more like gambling than anything else.  Because seizures are so unpredictable.  Seizures happen to happen when they happen.  And while we'd like to think the what-if's won't happen, we have to be honest enough with ourselves and others to plan for the fact that they very well might. We have to count the cost for everything we do.  And feel OK about the possibility of paying that cost, because living with epilepsy is a lot like playing Monopoly on a board in which many of the properties are not only owned, but crowded with houses and hotels.  The question is not whether you'll land on a property with hotels--and very unpleasantly have to pay the price (exorbitant rent), but instead, the question is simply WHEN you'll roll the dice, land on a loaded property, and have to pay the price.  With intractable epilepsy, the seizures are relentless.  They come.  Always.  And keep coming.  Always.  The question is not whether they'll come, but when they'll come.  And when you'll pay the price.  And when you do pay the price, how high the price will be.  These are the reasons why we epilepsy parents tend to look for ways to reduce the price ahead of time.  We're always looking ahead and weighing things carefully, to make sure that we will have the reserve (resources) on hand when we do have to pay the price.

There were also the party's food-related worries.  Given all of her dietary restrictions, would Awesome be able to find things to eat?   Would she be able to sustain her resolve to not eat things she shouldn't, even amid a spread laid out with some of her favorite seizure-causing foods?   Could and would an unsupervised Awesome, stay within the constraints that kept her seizures less likely?  I hoped so.  I'd already decided that I wasn't going to deliberately stand over the food table like a policeman--but I would intervene if I happened to see something right under my nose.   And right up there with concern that Awesome would eat contraband foods, was the worry that she wouldn't eat enough that evening--and that that lack of eating would itself trigger a seizure--as it sometimes does for her.

Given all of these concerns, there was a part of me that just wanted to stay home.  That wanted to skip the party and all the additional stress and worries it would bring.  Life with epilepsy is full of risk/benefit as well as sacrifice/benefit calculations.    Was the joy, happiness, and enjoyment Awesome might get from the party worth all the additional stress, risk,vigilance, and awkwardness?

In many situations for many activities, the calculation would have come out differently.  I'd have just said no.

But this was different.  Because most of the kids in Awesome's writing group would be there, Awesome really wanted to go to this party.   In fact, she was super excited about the possibility.  Awesome's a very social kid.  She loves her writing group friends; they enjoy each others' company and have loads of fun together.

When the day of the party came, Awesome was feeling good; she was full of energy.  And there were no discernible signs that she was at risk for a big seizure.

There was really nothing to stop us from going to the party.  And every reason to go.   And so, in the end, I was brave.  I decided to take the chance.  We'd go to the Reformation Day Party!

We were at the party for nearly 4 hrs.  It was dark outside for most of that time.  Awesome and the other kids were inside and outside.  In the backyard, in the side yard, in the other side yard, in the front yard, in the driveway.  On the back deck, on the front porch.  Running through the trees in the front yard in the dark playing a variation of tag called Ghost in the Graveyard.  Sitting in the den by the fireplace.  Pretending to slay dragons in the backyard.  Sitting around the firepit in the back yard talking. Sitting at outdoor tables eating.  Sitting in the dining room talking.  Standing around the food in the kitchen.  Always somewhere different.  And I was up and down and in and out and checking on and losing Awesome and finding Awesome.  And asking if this person or that person had seen Awesome.  And the adults who knew Awesome's situation also tried to help me keep track, as well as one of her peers.  But the truth is, it's involving and distracting keeping track of a busy 12 year old
 at a party when that party has lots of moving and shifting parts, lots of places to be, and lots of subgroups of people to be in, with, and among.  Keeping track of Awesome quickly grows onerous and tiresome.  And so, in the end, keeping track of Awesome was absolutely--as it should be--my responsibility and no one else's.  And so, as I anticipated, I had to keep excusing myself from conversations and returning to them.  And sometimes when I got tired of the dance of exiting and entering and excusing myself,  I simply sat down alone and didn't engage for awhile.   Which was OK.  Quiet is good too.

As I watched Awesome running around, having fun with the dozen or so other kids, I was filled with joy for her.  Her cheeks were red with the cold.  She was running through the dark in the front yard, laughing.  Many times I happened on her sitting with one or more girls, talking, smiling and giggling as she sipped hot apple juice.  Laughing and having fun with the boys as they pretended to slay dragons over by the garage.  It was beyond wonderful to watch.  It was joy inspiring.

There were also moments of exasperation--like when I intercepted Awesome with a plate full of sausages (cured meats with nitrates cause seizures for her) and insisted she put them back before eating any of them.  Or when I saw someone ladling up a mug of hot apple cider (which is not cider, but apple juice infused with a packet of powdered apple cider mix) for Awesome and I insisted that before she drink it, we read the ingredient list on the packet, only to find that the first ingredient was sugar.  This meant she could not drink it and instead had to be content with a glass of apple juice heated in the microwave (even it's pretty high on the glycemic index, but there's only so many things in a row you can take away from your child).  And so too her irritation with me was strong when I discovered just how little she'd eaten that evening (after asking her for a run down), and proceeded to ask her to eat more--more chicken, fruit, and other things she was allowed to have.  But she didn't feel like eating; in fact, the truth really was that Awesome was having too much fun to care about the eating.  As unpleasant as all these interactions over food were, the truth is that they were but tiny blips of unpleasantness in a vast sea of fun and enjoyment.

By the end of the evening, I was feeling ecstatic about how well the party had gone for Awesome.  I felt like we'd pulled off a huge triumph.  Yes, epilepsy parents are always happy about normal life when we can have it.  I was also happy that we'd finally managed to make it to one of the homeschool group events for families.  It also made me happy that Awesome was finally once again experiencing some of the joys of childhood.  Joys that everyone should experience as a child.  The joys of hours spent running and playing, visiting, laughing, and having free form fun with a group of kids  And so, as we drove home in the dark at 9:30 PM, both Awesome and I were very happy.   Awesome was chattering on about all the great things of the evening, and I was thinking about how our gamble had paid off handsomely.  The cost of having to keep track of Awesome and worry about the what-if's were well worth the things that came to Awesome in return.  We were both so, so happy.

Still there was this little matter of Awesome not having eaten enough that evening.  We discussed it on the way home.   Awesome acknowledged that she hadn't eaten much at the party--and that it was indeed problematic because it put her at higher risk of a convulsive seizure.  She and I agreed that this situation needed to be remedied as soon as we got home.

With surprising cheerfulness, Awesome agreed to eat her leftovers from lunch (she'd had a light lunch too) and then to eat some wholegrain pancakes with fruit and a glass of milk, once we got home again.  And so she did.  And then she also took her bedtime dose of CBD.   With Awesome's belly full, I heaved a sigh of relief believing that we'd safely dodged the seizure bullet that evening.

As soon as Awesome was done eating, I declared it was bedtime.  Awesome had brought home a cardboard dragon head from the party--she said it was her special token from the party--along with a feather from the hat of someone's costume.  As soon as we'd come into our house, Awesome had run back to her bedroom to put the dragon head up on her wall.  And now, as she was about to get ready for bed, she needed to get her clothes from her room.  Still excited about the dragon head and really wanting me to see it on the wall, she asked me to come along to her bedroom to see it.  Still riding on a high of happiness, I agreed to do so.

As we walked down the long hallway to her bedroom at the other end of the house, Awesome had a little seizure.  I could tell because she was talking and the talking suddenly stopped mid sentence.  And because, though she kept walking through the seizure, her pace changed--it slowed considerably and her head slumped slightly forward.  The seizure was short. As soon as she was aware again, she readily acknowledged that ir had indeed been a little seizure.  We continued on down the hallway.   With that little seizure, her seizure count hit 13 for the day (she herself had counted 3 of those little seizures at the party that night).  It was in the top of the low range.  It had not been a stellar seizure day, but not a horrible one either.  A higher count than I liked, but not in the bad or terrible range.

But when we got to her room, instead of turning aside to show me the dragon head as I thought she would, and instead of heading to her dresser to get her PJ's, Awesome oddly continued walking straight forward until she reached the window.  And then, perplexingly, she deliberately planted one hand on the wall on one side of the window and one hand on the wall on the other side of the window, and bowing her head slightly, pressed her head into the closed window blinds.  Huh?  What was that about?  Awesome can be quite the joker at times and so I waited for her to say or do something, but she didn't.  And so I asked, "Awesome, what are you doing?  Why are you doing that?"
And then, Awesome raised her head, and turned to the right as if she were turning around to look at me--which I thought she was, at first--but she didn't say anything at all.  Which was also odd.  And then suddenly, the turning of her head started to look all wrong, as did her eyes--which instead of looking at me, were looking upward to the right at the ceiling--and her trunk too as it kept turning to the right.   And then, suddenly I realized, this was the start of a convulsive seizure!

Walking quickly over to her, I put my right arm firmly around her upper abdomen and with my left hand, I grabbed her right arm--which had gone up into the air--to help turn and guide her.  And while she still had muscle tone and awareness enough to move her legs and walk and be led somewhere, before she collapsed, I quickly guided her to her bed.  She started to loose the ability to stand just as we reached the bed.  As she started to crumple, I was able to push her upper body onto the bed, and then lift her legs onto the bed as well.  And not a moment too soon.  She was now in the midst of a hard convulsive seizure--a tonic-clonic.

Awesome's brother Eli had come into town that evening, arriving at our house right after we got home from the party.  He had eaten a couple of pancakes with Awesome in the kitchen.  He was now sitting on the couch in the den at the other end of the house.  I yelled as loudly as I could.  Twice.  Eli came running.  Together we lifted Awesome further onto the bed, and while Eli attended to Awesome, I fumbled to get the emergency rescue medicine out of the bag I was wearing--and had been wearing all day.  It was hard to get it into the outer pocket of her mouth--her mouth was a moving target.    Still I managed it.  About 30 seconds after I gave her the emergency CBD, the seizure began to subside.  She'd had about a minute and a half of hard convulsing.  But the seizure was not yet over.  Another minute or two of a complex partial--altered consciousness with automatisms and hypersalivation--and Awesome finally closed her eyes signaling the end of the seizure.  While Eli watched Awesome, I ran to the other end of the house to get the finger oximeter.  Awesome's oxygenation was good--95% or above.  And her heart rate was 130.  She was breathing very heavily and rhythmically.

Awesome's eyes were closed only about 3 minutes.  Suddenly they snapped open and she began to try to talk.  Although her words were real words that were easily recognizable, the way she combined them made no sense whatsoever.  She was speaking nonsense.  Not a good sign.  It meant she had significant expressive language impairments as a post-ictal symptom.  This attempting to communicate by talking--and failing miserably (while periodically fading in and out of sleep) went on for maybe five minutes.  And then suddenly she sat up more upright on one arm and began to look intensely at my arm and chest, and to start to use her index finger and then her other fingers, as if there were buttons on me that she was intently seeing and attempting to push.  Could she be hallucinating?  She'd never done this before.  And just when I was starting to get concerned, I realized that her motions and gaze were exactly those that would go with staring at her laptop screen and trying to push the buttons on the keyboard or use the touchscreen.  I realized that the words she was saying could be taken as relating at least tangentially to a computer.  And so, I grabbed her poking fingers gently in my hand and simply asked her if she wanted her computer.  She seemed to feel understood or satisfied--at least she made no more attempts to push buttons on me or anywhere else.  I think that in her altered and impaired state of mind, she was somehow working out with muscle memory the idea of interaction with her laptop.  It really wasn't like she was trying to communicate with us.  It more like she was communicating the idea to herself.  Trying to see through the fog of her brain at the moment, to the thing that she desired.  At any rate, I felt less upset by her appearing to interact with something that wasn't there when I realized that this was what was happening.  Her ability to both think and communicate were severely impaired and this was how her brain was trying to work to work its way back to the surface again.

"I think we need to wait a few more minutes on the computer, Awesome.   When you think you're ready to try with Eli's help, we'll walk back to my bedroom.  And then we'll get you your computer, OK?"  She seemed satisfied with that plan.  She became quiet and calm.

It didn't take long for Awesome's brain fog to clear.  Within two minutes, Eli was helping Awesome down the hallway towards the bedroom.  Steady steps interspersed with unsteady ones.  They made it to the bedroom.  With help, Awesome crawled onto the bed and we brought her her computer.  Eli helped her get set up.  And within 5 minutes, Awesome was negotiating the computer without any assistance at all.

But Awesome was totally exhausted from the seizure and the busy day.  I brought her PJ's to her.  I helped her dress.  I excused her from all her usual bedtime personal care routines except brushing her teeth and taking her bedtime meds.  When I gave her her bedtime meds, I saw that we had neglected to give Awesome her lunch meds--which included Zantac, biotin, and most importantly, guaifenesin (in a 600 mg timed release Mucinex tablet).  In the shuffle of getting David packed up and off to the airport, she'd missed a medication that may have been important in keeping seizures at bay.  I felt terrible about this.  I wondered if she'd have had a seizure had it been given.  We'd never know.  Some part of me thinks guaifenesin makes a very positive difference; some other part of me doesn't believe it does anything at all.  And that's a typical sort of situation parents of kids with intractable seizures find themselves in.  Unsure of what, if anything, does anything at all.  Is or isn't effective.  Makes any difference whatsoever.

Once we were through our bedtime prep, Awesome feel asleep quickly; she slept well that night.  For me, however, sleep did not come so easily.  I lay awake for most of the night, tossing and turning, getting in and out of bed, all the while contemplating this seizure and its possible implications.  I had no ready answers.  Just questions and more questions.  All too often epilepsy doesn't give answers.  It leaves you hanging.  Contemplating the puzzle.  Of triggers.  Of what is and isn't necessary or helpful.  Of whether a treatment is or isn't helping.   Of life.  Of health.  Of control.  Of normal versus not so normal.  Of what is possible and impossible.  Of what is prudent and not so prudent.  And wondering about your own assumptions.  About context.  About past.  About present.  About future.  About life itself and just how close or far you are really standing to the edge of epilepsy's cliff.  And how much margin you have or don't have.  Those questions will have to remain unanswered in this post--as they were that night.  And as they are and continue to be in real life with epilepsy.

  1. WHEW!! Exhaustingto fread, I cannot imagine what it is like to live at tht evel of hypervigilance. Have you given on the "wristwatch" monitor?

  2. We still have and use our Empatica Embrace. But it's not dependable enough to take the place of diligent supervision. It can get trapped under the body during a seizure; it can also randomly un-pair from the phone. In both cases, we'd fail to be alerted.

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PokerStars Bets on Usain Bolt with Ambassadorship

pokerstars usain bolt

PokerStars has inked a strategic deal with star runner, Usain Bolt, who will promote the brand via marketing campaigns and live appearances.

Amaya-run online poker platform, PokerStars, has forged an alliance with record-breaking sprinter, Usain Bolt, who will promote the game as ambassador. The eight-time Olympic gold medallist announced the tie-up via a social media exchange with Hollywood icon, Kevin Hart.

Earlier this year, the world-renowned comedian signed on with the label, and announced that he was going to “Make Poker Fun.” Meanwhile, Bolt will represent the brand across marketing campaigns and live appearances aimed at bringing new audiences to the betting table.

“Usain Bolt is a fierce competitor who pushes his game to the limits and one of the most-liked athletes in the world. His strong global following and winning personality will help us introduce poker in a fun, social, and fast way,” said Eric Hollreiser, VP of Corporate Communications at PokerStars.

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text:
Season 3, Episode 2: “Caballo sin Nombre”

13 Jul

Breaking Bad, 3-2: “Caballo sin Nombre”

Walt’s drives down the highway, feeling cocky, and singing along with Neil Young’s “Horse with No Name.” A cop going the other way turns around and flashes his lights. Walt pulls over, but leaves the music playing loudly till the cop insists he turn it off.

When Walt finds out he’s been stopped because of his cracked windshield, he argues, in effect, that as a victim of “Wayfarer 515,” the airplane crash that dropped debris on his house and car, he’s entitled to drive as long as he wants without repairing the damage. It’s as if he wants to keep the windshield as is, so that he can  see himself as one of the many victims of the crash, instead of the indirect cause of it. When the cop cites him, saying his car “isn’t safe to drive,” Walt gets out of the Aztek in a rage, despite an order to stay in and then return to it. Out of control, he spews abuse at the officer. “Hellfire rained down on my house! My house – where my children were sleeping! Body parts rained down in my yard!”

Finally, after saying, “Sir, this is your last warning,” the cop pulls a can of pepper spray from his holster, inciting Walt to even greater heights of anger. “You’re going to pepper spray me for exercising my 5th Amendment right to free speech?” Well, yes. The next time we see Walt, he’s crying, face red, in the back of the cop car.

Scene 1: the DEA office

Hank shows his team a photo of the burned hay/migrant truck, a “chicken run out of Juarez and Laredo,” that ended with nine illegals and the driver murdered. “It looks like high-end cartel work,” he says, “a message for our side of the border. Maybe one of those extra crispies knew something he shouldn’t. Keep your eyes open.” This is highly ironic from a later perspective, as the Salamancas will end up gunning Hank down and paralyzing him.

Hank and Gomez are both wearing dark shirts and have blue ribbons pinned on their chests. They confer together, agreeing that it’s been 29 days since they’ve seen “the blue meth” in Albuquerque. Then Hank’s phone rings – it’s Walt, calling from the police station.

Scene 2: in front of Jesse’s old house

A 45-day metal sobriety disc hangs from Jesse’s rear view mirror as he parks in front of a house “for sale” sign. Wearing a plain, dark, collared shirt over a white “T”shirt, and dark pants, he looks good.

We see a workman, then Jesse’s dad in the yard.

Mr. Pinkman: “Jesse?”

“Hey, dad. Fixin’ up the house?”

“Doin’ a little work, yeah.”

The house, a two-story adobe with a red-tiled roof, doesn’t look anything like our memory of Jesse’s old house, but we’re supposed to believe it is, extensively renovated. (This actually happened, apparently, during the second season.) It has a covered porch on one side of the front door, a small adobe-fenced courtyard on the other, and a red-tiled building (garage?) beyond that.

“That’s cool,” Jesse says.

“You doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I just happened to be drivin’ by, and saw that sign. So, you’re sellin’ the place…”

Mr. P., wearing the blue ribbon, says, “Yes,” and describes extensive renovations, including fumigating the basement and putting in a new upstairs bath.

“Right on,” says Jesse. “Resale value. That’s great, Dad. Think I could get a tour?” When Mr. Pinkman says it’s not a good time, Jesse nods, and backs off a few steps.

Hearing, “You’re looking healthy. I’ll tell your mother – she’ll be happy,” Jesse comes closer again, and says, “Thanks. You know, I could come by sometime for dinner or something.”

Mr. P. nods. “Sometime…”

Getting that this will be no time soon, maybe never, Jesse still manages to smile. “Okay. Later, Dad,” he says, walking back to his car.

Scene 3: an Albuquerque police station, Hank’s car

Walt’s handcuffed to a chair as Hank negotiates his release by describing his history and background. Walt gives the cop who arrested him an abject apology. In the car, he tells Hank that Skyler’s divorcing him. “She doesn’t want me to see the kids.”

“She said that?”

“Yeah.” Still red-eyed, Walt looks terrible.

Scene 4: the Beachcomber laundry room, Walt’s room

Saul comes in while Walt’s doing laundry at his new place, and they adjourn to Walt’s room. When Walt describes “disaster,” Saul says at least Skyler isn’t going to the cops. Apparently, she recognizes what the “blowback” of that could be, including the seizure of the White home. “She’s bluffing, and she knows it,” he concludes.

“Her going to the police is not the point, Saul. I’ve lost my family – everything I care about.”

“Hey, buddy. It’s bad. It’s a calamity. But we live to fight another day. And, after a decent interval of time – well, there are other fish in the sea. Get back on the horse, and get cookin’.”

“I can’t be the bad guy.”

“I can’t be the bad guy.”

“Okay, we’ll revisit. Just promise me you won’t hang yourself in the closet.”

Scene 5: an Albuquerque park

We see Kaylee, Mike’s granddaughter playing, then running to him for money for the ice cream man. Mike’s the perfect crusty grandpa with the heart of gold. His phone rings. Saul tells him their client has “wife problems,” and gives Mike the Whites’ address.

Scene 6: Casa Blanca

We see the SaveWalterWhite website, then Skyler, Junior, Hank, and Marie, eating takeout at the dining room table. Skyler says, “Flynn’s looking for a part-time job.”

Junior reacts harshly, “My name’s Walter, Jr. What? You can’t even say his name?”

Skyler is calm: “If you’ve changed your mind about being called Flynn, all you have to do is tell me.’

“You know what? Dad didn’t even show until fourth period! And his eyes were all red, like he’s been crying or something…But you don’t even care! And now he won’t drive me home. He won’t say why, but I know it’s because you told him not to!” He stands. “You may not love him anymore, but I do! I mean…why do you gotta be such a bitch?”

Hank objects, and Skyler says, “It’s all right.” Junior slams his door, as Marie consoles Skyler.

Hank says, “Skyler, it’s none of my business, but – you don’t want him with the kids?”

Skyler, hurting and alone, but trying to be cool: “You’re right, Hank. It’s none of your business.”

Outside, Hank and Marie speculate about what’s going on. Hank thinks Walt’s been cheating on Skyler, but Marie thinks if it was “just” that, her sister would have told her about it. “It’s something more.”

Scene 7: Saul’s office

Saul gives Jesse his money, and Jesse asks Saul if he wants a job.

Scene 8: Walt’s place

Walt walks by the complex pool, then goes back and uses the skimmer to fish out the one piece of trash in it. Then he climbs the stairs with his briefcase. At the top is Junior, with all his stuff.

Scene 9: an Albuquerque retirement home

We see a mylar “Happy Birthday!” balloon and old folks dozing in front of the TV. Dumb music plays, as a white-haired lady drops one of the pieces of her “Two White Kittens” puzzle.

The Salamanca brothers are visiting Hector, who sits in his wheelchair, bell at the ready. One of them finds a Ouija board in a stack of games, and puts it on the table. With Hector dinging as one brother points to the letters, the other writes on a pad. The letters spell out “WALTER WHITE.”

Scene 10: Beneke and Walt’s place

Ted enters the meeting room where Skyler has work materials spread out on the conference table. Baby Holly, in pink, is in her car seat on the floor. Ted says, “I just wish you could be back full-time. You do brighten up the place.”

Skyler: “Listen – I can’t sign off on these quarterlies. If you’re gonna do this, it can’t be so glaring.”

Ted shuts the door and proposes pushing twenty odd thousand into “next quarter…Maybe you could sign it then.”

Skyler, carefully trying to avoid complicity: “All I’m saying is I can’t sign it as it currently exists.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“What if, later, your kids find out?”

“I’ll say I did it to provide for them. But, really, Skyler, I haven’t thought that far ahead – I’m just trying to keep my head above water.”

Skyler gets a call from Walt about Junior. Walt says he’ll bring their son wherever she wants, and they agree to meet at home.

Next we see Walt and Junior sitting on the end of Walt’s bed, as Walt lovingly explains why his son has to go home. “Your mother has her reasons…There are two sides – always…This is just how it has to be – for now.”

“But it’s your house! You haven’t done anything wrong! And everybody’s on your side!”

“It’s not about taking sides…I love you and your sister, and you’ll come first always.” They hug, and then Walt, anticipating being able to win Skyler over, goes in the bathroom for a shot of mouthwash and a dab of aftershave.

Scene 11: the Pinkmans’ lawyer’s meeting room

Saul offers to buy the property at 9809 Margo for $400,000 cash, half the Pinkmans’ asking price. They’re about to walk out when he threatens to reveal that a meth lab used to be in the basement. “I applaud your cojones,” he says, “but I could file suit and encumber the property indefinitely.”

Scene 12: Casa Blanca

Walt brings Junior back, along with a giant pizza, but Skyler stonewalls him at the front door. Frustrated, Walt throws the pizza on the garage roof as he leaves.

Scene 13: Walt’s place the next morning

Walt’s lying on the floor in his underwear on top of spilled popcorn, surrounded by empty beer bottles. The eyeball watches from under the bed.

Skyler calls and leaves a message asking if he knows anything about a pizza on the roof. She says he needs to “calm down” and accept the status quo, or she’ll get a restraining order. Walt jumps up, trying – unsuccessfully – to get to the phone, bumping his head on the table. “Restrain this!” he shouts, grabbing his crotch.

Scene 14: Jesse’s old/new house

Mr. and Mrs. Pinkman are loading pots of flowers into the back of their car. “Poor Jake,” Mrs. P. says. “He had his heart set on going to space camp.” She sees Jesse driving up. “Oh, no! God!”

“Hi, Mom…Dad…How’s it going?”

“This isn’t a good time,” Mr. P. starts to say, as his wife adds, “Jesse, the house has been sold. The new owners are expected any moment.” Jesse’s headed for the front door. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Bought the place,” Jesse says, holding up his keys. He goes inside.

Scene 15: Casa Blanca

After Skyler and Junior leave the house the next morning, Mike gets out of a blue car with a duffle bag and a metal suitcase. Noting the pizza on the roof, he goes around the house and drills a hole in the wall. He inserts something on a cable-type cord, then hides it with a potted plant.

Walt drives up and gets out of his car with a suitcase and a black duffle bag, as Mike does something to the outside wiring of the house. Walt tries to open the front door, but Skyler’s changed the locks, so he tries windows, and finally gets in through the crawl space, as Mike hides.

Walt crawls through cobwebs and enters the house through the utility closet. As Mike’s leaving, he sees a dark car pull up. The cousins, one wearing a metallic silver suit, the other a metallic zinc suit, get out of the car, one of them carrying an axe. Somehow managing to get in through the front door, they walk through the house.

Walt’s in the shower, singing. We see his surgery scar. The twins look at family pictures in the hallway, and Mike listens through his device to Walt singing “Horse with No Name.” Mike calls Victor at a commercial laundry, and Victor goes to Gus, who’s there looking at blueprints.

The cousins look in Holly’s room, then go in the master bedroom and sit on the end of the bed. They’re wearing black gloves, and the brother holding the axe taps his finger on the shiny side of its head. He picks the eyeball up out of Walt’s open suitcase, examines it, and tosses it back.

As Walt finishes his shower, still singing, the axe man feels his cell phone vibrate. He sees that the caller is “Pollos,” and shows the phone to his brother. Walt, toweling off, is obviously feeling cocky again. By the time he opens the bathroom door, the cousins are gone. He notices that the eyeball is in a different place in his suitcase, and, wearing the towel around his waist, looks down the empty hall.

Skyler and Junior are never to know how close they came to coming home to Walt’s mutilated body…

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Season 5, episode 1: “Live Free or Die”

07 Aug

Breaking Bad, 5-1: “Live Free or Die”

A plate of breakfast is put in front of Walt, and he breaks the bacon into pieces and spells out “52” with it on top of the eggs and potatoes. So, it’s a year after the end of season 4. He’s not wearing his wedding ring, is wearing dark-rimmed glasses, and has a full head of hair and a longish beard and mustache. He explains that it’s his birthday when the waitress asks about the bacon, and she tells him he can get breakfast for free on his birthday at Denny’s. “Free is always good,” she says. Walt shows her his license. “New Hampshire? You’re a long way from home. So, what’s here in Albuquerque?”

Walt, wearing an army jacket, a floppy knit shirt, and blue jeans, gets up and joins the gun seller from “38 Snub” in the men’s room. As they stand together at the double sink, Walt trades him a thick envelope of money for a set of car keys. The guy asks for assurance that “it” won’t “cross the border,” and Walt says, “It’s never leaving town.” After the man leaves, Walt coughs a little and takes some prescription medication.

Walt leaves a hundred dollar tip under his still-full plate, as the waitress calls, “Happy Birthday, Mr. Lambert!”

Outside, he opens the trunk of a white Volvo 240 DL with a New Hampshire license plate and takes out a black sports bag. He goes to a red sedan, a few cars down, and opens its trunk, revealing an M-60 machine gun, with a manual and three boxes of tracer ammunition. He puts the sports bag in, and shuts the trunk.

So, we’ve gotten a vision of a future in which Walt, possibly having “disappeared” to New Hampshire under his wife’s maiden name, returns to Albuquerque to deal with a threat to someone he loves – possibly his former wife and/or children, possibly Jesse. The threat could also be to his share in a still-running meth empire. His cancer has probably returned, and he’s feeling reckless. Meanwhile, back to the present…

Scene 1: the Schraders’, the Whites’, the lab, the Mexican “hospital,” Gus’s office

First, we see a bit of a repeat of the end of season 4, where Walt tells Skyler over the phone, “I won.” Then he’s at home, drums beating, scooping up all the bomb-making materials in the kitchen and putting them in a trash bag in the trunk of his car. The drums die down as he pours himself a drink of whiskey, then pick up again as he remembers to hide the lily of the valley plant in the same place.

Just in time, since Junior, Skyler, and Holly are returning from the Schraders’, Junior excited about Hank’s heroism in escaping Gus Fring’s “hit,” and Skyler retreating to the bedroom. Walt follows her there, and asks, “Don’t you think I rate a hello, at least?”

“Hello to you, too. Are you going to talk to me here – show some kind of relief that I’m alive?”

“I am relieved, Walt…and scared.”

“Scared of what?”

Skyler leaves the room, and Walt toasts himself in the mirrored closet door, then says, “Oh, shit!”

Meanwhile, Hank, Gomez, and at least two other DEA agents are exploring the ruined super lab, wearing respirators and white protective suits. Hank, using a cane, spots the wall-mounted camera.

Mike’s feeding the chickens at the Mexican “hospital,” urging them to “be nice,” and “let Wendell in there.” We see the doctor talking on the phone, then telling Mike, “He’s dead.” Suddenly, Mike’s speeding down a dirt desert road, then stopping short of crashing into another car: Walt and Jesse.

“Son of a bitch…son of a bitch,” Mike says, pointing his gun at Walt.

Jesse gets in between the two men, pleading, “Let him talk!”

“I’m done listening to this asshole talk! Get out of my way!”

“He’s got something you need to hear, all right?”

“Do you even know what he’s done?”

“Yeah,” Walt says, “he saved his own life.”

“Mike,” puts in Jesse, “if you kill him, you’re gonna have to kill me! Come on!”

“Oh, Jesse! Jesus. What is it with you guys? Honest to God!”

“Look,” Walt says, “whatever differences you and I have, they’ll keep. Right now we have bigger fish to fry…Gus kept cameras on us at the lab, the laundry…God only knows where else. ‘Course when I say ‘us,’ I’m including you.”

Jesse: “Mike, if he took all that stuff – us cooking, you cleaning up – ”

Walt: “If Gus had a record of that, and the police get to it before we do – ”

Mike: “You son of a bitch!”

Walt: “Mike – it’s all on tape somewhere or on a drive. Where? Where did he keep it?”

“He had a laptop in his office in the back of the restaurant. It all fed straight to there.” Mike seems to be in pain as he stands by one of the open car doors. He holds his hand out.

“What?” Walt asks.

“Keys, scumbag. It’s the universal symbol for keys.” They take off, leaving Mike’s car behind.

We see the police tagging Gus’s laptop as evidence while Hank watches.

Scene 2: Jesse’s

Mike’s on the phone impersonating “Postal Inspector Dave Clark.” He hangs up, and says, “Oh, yeah – he says we’re boned.” He breaks his cell phone and tosses it on the table. “Well, you know how they say, ‘It’s been a pleasure?’ It hasn’t.”

Walt: “Are you gonna tell us about the laptop?”

Jesse, from the papa-san chair: “Where you goin’?”

“I’m gettin’ the hell outta Dodge, kid. And so should you – it’s just a matter of time.”

“Where is the laptop?” Walt asks again.

“What the hell difference does it make? They got it – end of story. APD Northwest Area Command on 2nd. They tagged it, they filed it. It’s in the system, and they locked it in their evidence room.”

“All right, all right – so describe the building.”

Mike laughs. “Describe the building…How about I describe Fort Knox? And what are you gonna do? Are you gonna put on a black leotard and go dangling on a clothesline? It’s a building fulla cops – what else do you need to know? And why in hell am I talking to you?”

“Mike,” Jesse says, “we gotta do something.”

“I am doing something.”

“He’s good with this stuff, okay? Just give him a chance.”

“Hey, look – that laptop might as well be on the moon. They build these evidence rooms like bank vaults, because, guess what? Lunatics like you wanna break into ’em. But unlike a bank vault, this is a place that’s guarded 24 hours a day by the police. There’s no way you’re gettin’ it outta there.”

Walt: “Who says we have to get it out of there? We just need to destroy what’s on it.”

“Oh! So, now you want to blow up a police station!”

“No – a device, a small device.”

“What about a magnet?” Jesse asks, but Mike and Walt are too busy arguing to hear him. “Yo!” he shouts. “What about, like, a magnet?” Mike and Walt continue to argue about an idea of Walt’s. “Or,” Jesse persists, “what about a magnet?”

Both of the older men turn, and Walt asks, “What magnet? What about it?”

Jesse pantomimes something hitting a magnet, and says, “Poof!”

Scene 3: the scrap yard, the car wash, the hospital

A crane equipped with a huge magnet moves a car from one place to another, as the yard owner, Old Joe, talks with Walt about the feasibility of their plan. Jesse agrees to spot Walt his share of the cost because of the latter’s “IRS issue.” Mike tells Jesse, “If you have any brains, you’ll take that money you saved, and you’ll skip town right now.”

“You don’t think this’ll work?”

“Is that a serious question?”

“Mike,” Jesse says, “this is a three-man job. The only way I know it won’t work for sure is if we don’t have you.”

Meanwhile, Saul visits the car wash and tells Skyler about what happened to Ted. “Ted’s dead,” she says.

“No, he just woke up.”

Back at the scrap yard, they’re about to test the ability of the magnet to wipe data off a laptop hard drive. When Old Joe talks about getting to “Miller time,” Mike says, “You know, I can foresee a lot of possible outcomes to this, and not a single one of ’em involves Miller time.”

But the test laptop’s fried, and not only that – when Jesse loosens his grip on it, it flies through the air, hits the old truck containing the magnet, and breaks apart. Jesse leaps in triumph, shouting “Yeah, bitch! Magnets!!”

Mike says, “If everything in that evidence room goes flying, it’ll make a helluva noise.”

“It won’t matter,” Walt assures him. “In 60 seconds, we’ll be gone.”

Skyler visits Ted in the hospital, and is horrified by the sight of the poor man – pale, bald, and in head and neck braces. “Hey, Ted,” she says quietly, almost crying.

In a weak voice, Ted assures her that he hasn’t “said anything to anyone. I told them it was an accident…I’ve got children…family…I swear to you! Please – I would never breathe a word of this.”

Suddenly, Skyler, wearing a black dress, recovers herself as a breaking-bad villainess, and says, “Good.”

Scene 4: the police evidence room

Mike sprays foam on the security cameras at the police station, and opens the locked vehicle entrance. He signals Jesse with a flashlight, and the truck pulls up close to the wall of the evidence room. Walt and Jesse are wearing black balaclavas, with only their eyes visible – a little more professional than the pom-pom topped ski masks they wore in season 1. Walt turns on the batteries to create the giant magnet, and the computer of the cop guarding the evidence room dies. A paper clip, a red tricycle, and other metal objects start moving toward the wall nearest the truck; then boxes fly off the shelves.

An alarm sounds, a light goes on, and Jesse says, “Let’s go!” but Walt just has to be sure. He turns the magnet power up the last notch, and the truck tips over toward the wall. The next thing we know, a police team is outside, but Walt and Jesse have escaped.

The three plotters argue in the car, Mike worried that the police will “trace the truck back to the wrecking yard,” Walt assuring him that there are “no prints, no paper work – it’s untraceable salvage, all of it.”

“You got all the answers, answer man, so you tell me – did all that even work just now?”

“Yes, it worked.”

“How do we know?”

“Because I say so.” These words are spoken in a normal voice, but they’re Heisenberg through and through.

The next day the cops are going over the items that were in the evidence room. One gives the name and number of a “roofing hammer, undamaged,” then picks up Gus’s laptop. It’s broken, but still in its sealed bag. Then he picks up another piece of evidence from Gus’s office – a picture of Gus and his murdered partner. There’s a piece of paper stuck in one corner of the frame on which is written, “Banc Suisse Cayman” followed by routing numbers. “Hey,” the cop says. “Check it out! That’s not on the manifest.” Once again, the “solution” has created more problems.

Scene 5: Saul’s office, the Whites’

Walt’s mad at Saul for letting Skyler use his money to pay Ted’s debt to the IRS. “She’s my client, same as you,” Saul says. “It’s tricky, but I try to act ethically.”

“I’m sorry – did you just use the word ‘ethically’ in a sentence? You’re a two-bit bus-bench lawyer, and you work for me.”

“I put my life on the line for you,” Saul says, producing a baggie containing Jesse’s ricin cigarette. Huell, too – he’s got fingers like hot dogs – he could have easily busted this in two and killed everyone in the office! But do I complain? No – beg, borrow, or steal – I’m your huckleberry.” I love this line, and, as if to emphasize it, Saul’s wearing a purple shirt and tie. “I go the extra mile. Only you never told me the kid would end up in the hospital! You take that thing and get the hell outta here! You and me, we’re done.”

Walt shrugs, then gets up and moves toward Saul. When they’re head to head, he says in a chilling voice, “We’re done when I say we’re done.” Saul squirms.

When Walt enters Casa Blanca, it seems dark inside, even though it’s daytime. Skyler’s in the master bedroom with the baby. Walt says, “Hi. I heard what happened to Ted.”

“He’s not gonna talk,” Skyler assures him. When Walt smiles, walks toward her, and puts his hand on her shoulder, she looks at it as if it’s a snake about to bite her.

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How Shrimp Changed the Food Web at Flathead Lake

My recent article at delves into the ripple effect caused by the introduction of nonnative opossum shrimp into Montana’s pristine Flathead Lake, back in the 1960s and 70s.

The proliferation of the shrimp set off a chain of events, resulting in an explosion in the lake trout population, extirpation of kokanee salmon, and an increase in the lake’s algal productivity.

It’s an interesting example of the delicacy and inter-relatedness of a very complex food web system. You can read about it here.

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Contact Us

Use the form on the right to contact us.

We would love to hear your questions and comments about Brili.

123 Street Avenue, City Town, 99999

(123) 555-6789

You can set your address, phone number, email and site description in the settings tab.
Link to read me page with more information.

Home Organization Tips: A Better Morning Routine for School

Home Organization Tips: A Better Morning Routine for School

Rebecca Brown Wright

You may have created the perfect morning routine for school, but if your home isn't set up to support that routine, you'll be running around like a chicken with its head cut off come morning -- every morning.

Use these home organization tips for smoother mornings.

Designate certain areas in your kitchen for breakfast items on school days. If you're the prepping type, prepare several meals ahead of time that can easily be frozen (like English muffin sandwiches, frozen breakfast burritos, or smoothies) and keep them on one shelf in the freezer within easy reach of little hands.

In addition, keep breakfast fruits and cereals in one location, so it's easy for anybody to quickly grab all essential items for the most important meal of the day.

If you send packed lunches to school, follow your breakfast organization rule and keep lunch items -- like drinks, fruit cups, washed grapes, and more -- on one shelf in the refrigerator. Make a sandwich, and then grab the other items, and go!

If your kids get school lunch, set an envelope by the door with the money they'll need for each week or month. Better yet, see if your school accepts electronic payments for lunch money. No more scrambling for dollars -- or worse, losing the money on the way to school.

Whether you have boys or girls, hair needs to get done each morning. Get an inexpensive caddy, and keep all hair ties, detangler, brushes, gel, and hair spray in its compartments. Keep the caddy in a bathroom, and then carry it to wherever you intend to do hair. (Just remember to put it back in the bathroom so it's easy to find the next morning!)

Never was there a more fierce battle cry than that of the child who was unhappy with your clothing choice. Take yourself out of the equation, and have your child put his clothes in a designated location every night before school. You can buy organizers for this specific purpose, or you can go the cheap way and have your child lay his clothes on the floor.

Backpack Station

Your rush out the door doesn't have to involve mad dashes throughout the house searching for homework while you leave your child to put on shoes... only to return to find she can't find her second shoe. (Not that we've ever lived that reality...)

Create a backpack station by the door. Every night before bed, your child must check that shoes, backpack, homework (inSIDE the backpack), coat, hat, and gloves are tucked securely into Backpack Station. Then it's just a matter of standing calmly while you observe your child methodically putting on the finishing touches of the morning (OK... we know it won't ever be that simple and serene, but we can dream, right?).

Post the Schedule

Finally, don't forget that your children need to know what to do -- and in what order to do it. You can post a schedule in one place for your child to repeatedly reference, or you can hand your child the tablet, phone, or Pebble watch loaded with Brili to keep your kids on task without aimless wandering or nagging.  Even attach photos of each step above to the activities so you have a visual!

Brili helps kids maintain focus while rushing to beat the clock and get ready on time. Magic isn't a real thing, but if it was... it would look an awful lot like Brili.


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Sweet Swaps from Maryland, USA!

Ah, it’s a great day when you get a parcel in the letter box, right? An even better day when that parcel contains beautifully hand-stamped cards and chocolate! We did a swap during the last round of UStamp, and I was paired up with Maria Pane, from Baltimore, Maryland. I showed you here what I sent for her. Well, this is what I got back today:

Maria made a beautiful cone-shaped holder filled with covered Hershey’s nuggets (which we can’t buy readily in New Zealand, so they’re a real treat!). And she used my favourite a la carte stamp, Sail Away, to make a beautiful card with matching envelope. The pink card is the one she has written in, and she has used the Strength and Hope set to make it.

Aren’t I a lucky girl? A great start to the weekend, I must say. Thank you Maria – this was a lovely surprise.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Steph permalink
    28/05/2011 11:28

    You are lucky Bron. What a gorgeous package Maria put together.

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Friday’s popcorn and movie night was cancelled due to a boy’s determination to put together his newest Lego set.

Saturday found us traveling to Michigan to visit IKEA.  We took an idea from Pinterest to create a Lego table for the boys.  We altered the idea to suit our own purposes.  Pictures to follow when everything is set up.

Sunday we attended a birthday party at the local ice skating rink.  We’ve known about it for a couple of weeks.  The party was for a friend of Eli’s – they’ve been friends since their first year of preschool!  We got the invite and slyly put it away.  We shopped for presents without the kids.  An hour before the party I pulled out crayons and paper and had them create birthday cards for their friend and informed them of the party.  There was no anxiety.  No crazy behavior.  Only excitement.  And oh the skating!  We haven’t gone since last year and the boys were both a bit leery.  No concerns though!  Keegan was a perfectionist like his mommy.  He was determined to get it but was frustrated when it didn’t go right.  Eli loved “flying”!  He got going faster and got the brightest smile on his face.

We shopped after skating for supplies for the Lego tables.  Thank you Toys R Us for having a buy one get one 1/2 off sale on all Lego items!  I ran into Michael’s to get model glue to help put the tables together too.  I tossed a yummy turkey dinner into the oven upon arriving home and proceeded to put together the tables.  The boys are so very excited to get these set up, as am I!  There is much sorting and cleaning and donating to be done before it can be finished.  Hopefully by next weekend 🙂

Today was the day of appointments.  Eli and I spent most of the day together and Keegan got to hang with my brother.  We left early for the eye doctor for his final progress evaluation.  I love this office because we never have to wait.  Except for today.  An emergency came in before us – someone had a stroke in their eye.  It had to be dealt with.  We waited for more than an hour.  Eli played a few games on my phone.  We talked and told funny stories to each other.  He got a little annoyed over having to wait but moved on from it quickly.  He called the doctor on it when we finally got into the room and the doctor handled it very well.  He was amazing – I was truly a proud mommy!  Then came the amazing news.  His eyes have improved dramatically, again.  He is within normal limits or well above in all of the areas we’ve been working on.  No more consistent vision therapy!!!  We will continue to have him play his DS game and a few other games we’ve found to challenge his eyes.  We go back in April for a full evaluation – a repeat of last year as well as a full vision check.  We are beyond excited!

Later today we traveled to the worry doctor.  It was time to figure out exactly how we can better help our worrier.  I shared all of our concerns with her and discussed all of the events with “B”.  She talked to me for a while just to catch up and then talked with Eli for a bit.  She has some concerns, the same as ours.  So, back to weekly therapy we go.  And I am grateful that we have someone so amazing on our side.  It will add a new something to our week again but I know it will be so worth it.

We ended the night with my guys doing amazing at karate and getting excited over an unusual evening at McDonald’s – mostly because the adults were craving Shamrock shakes…

It was an amazing, busy, totally fun weekend.  We laughed, we snuggled, we read and we had in-depth conversations about things like Helen Keller and slavery.  I love how inquisitive they are.  I’m thankful for them each and every day.

About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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One Response to Random

  1. Elastamom says:

    That sounds packed and fun-filled!!!

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Review of Cosans Coffee at Sunway Pyramid

Have you heard of Cosans Coffee? I have heard about it through word of mouth.

This review is based on my experience at Cosans Coffee outlet in Sunway Pyramid. I am looking forward to try out the coffee here being my first visit. I always love the smell of fresh coffee brewing at any time of the day. The outlet looks pretty cosy and definitely a nice place to hang out with friends. I saw the menu on the board above the cashier and the offerings looked pretty common. I then asked the staff to recommend their best seller coffee for me. So I end up having Hazelnut Latte.

Here is the Hazelnut Latte (RM13) which looks pretty good. From the looks of it, you probably would guess that the coffee is full bodied with strong aroma and has bitter aftertaste.

Cosans Coffee : Hazelnut Latte

The Iced Latte (RM14) was okay but seemed a bit milky for my taste. I get the feeling that the coffee flavour is being ‘diluted’ once the ice starts to melt bit by bit.

Cosans Coffee : Iced Latte

The Lemonade cooler (RM10) is pretty normal ie a glass of lemonade.I dont even a photo if it. The Nutty Banana Caramel cake (RM14.90) was average. The cake’s texture was a bit dry. It’s a chocolate cake with filling of caramel and banana. The banana filling was in the form of paste. Although typically I love any chocolate cake, this one was not really to my liking.

Cosans Coffee : Banana Caramel Cake

The service was ok but I notice that it takes for a while for the staff to prepare the drinks. We ordered 3 drinks and guess which drink we got last? It was the Lemonade. I really wondered what took them so long to prepare a Lemonade? So, in summary it was an OK experience. I think the coffee here is average. The price seems competitive and seems to match other (establish) brands.

Cosans Coffee : The damage…

Visited in August 2015. How would I rate them? The atmosphere 4/5, Service 3.5/5, F&B 3/5.

2 thoughts on “Review of Cosans Coffee at Sunway Pyramid

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Utterly Class Brass

class brass

Have you ever thought that you might like to learn how to play a musical instrument one day? Or you used to play one at school and now, 20 years later, you’d like to pick it back up? I reckon a lot of us say yes to one of those questions, but never do a thing about it beyond purchasing the instrument of choice, picking it up once and then using it as a costly doorstop or fancy bookend. It’s just one of those things – the idea of playing skilfully is the shit, but the reality is…you just sound like shit!

I would never judge anyone for doing that as I did it myself. It just takes so looong to get good! I wanted to pick up the trumpet… (it wasn’t even the trumpet that I learnt at school) I wanted to pick it up, immediately play to a grade eight standard because I’m so gifted, join an awesome band, quit my day job to go on tour, write a hit song and live off the royalties for the rest of my life! It could happen! To one person somewhere in the world it could happen, right? Obvi’ it did not happen. So after listening to me moan about how I don’t have enough time to practise or how I’m really just being considerate to my neighbours, my boyfriend, the seasoned musician, told me that the only way to get good was to join a band. “Join a band?” I’d say. “Yeah, join a band,” he’d say. “But I don’t know how to play,” I’d say. “That’s why you need to join a band,” he’d say. “But I don’t know how to play though,” I’d say. “Exactly, so join a band,” he’d say. “STOP TALKING DAMN FOOLISHNESS!” I’d say.  “Just join a band,” he’d say. I mean, honestly, what was he going on about? You can’t join a band and not know how to play an instrument. I’d look a right fool! You wouldn’t get a job as a driver and then be like, “BTW, I can’t drive,” would you? What’s he on! As I couldn’t afford lessons, I decided I’d be content with my trumpet adding a new and classy dynamic to my flat on its stand in the living room. Lovely.

A few months later, he sends me a link to an ad on gumtree about a beginners brass band that welcomed all levels – even if you’d never played before – and it was totally free! I couldn’t argue with that, so…I joined a band.

After such a build up, I was actually reeeally excited for the first day of band. Even the act of carrying the trumpet on the tube ride there –  I loved that shit. Bashing up kneecaps like, “Oh, sorry, it’s just my trumpet!” You’d have thought I was Dizzy Gillespie, the way I was going on! (Same cheeks) Even the fullness of the tube, the two bus rides and the ass battering walk up the hill to get to the community room did not get me down! Buzzin, I was!

Finally, I get to the community room, a cross between a school classroom and a church hall, but nestled under the grandness of Alexandra Palace, and I was greeted by two kindly gentlemen. Immediately warm, immediately welcoming. We had a little chat about the band, about the skill levels, I talked about myself a little – I was very happy indeed. That is until… (and it’s not that he was shouting, but I feel that caps are the only way I can express the level of enthusiasm) ..

I’m all like, “Whaaa? But they told me I… Why did the ad say… I walked up that hill… Whaaa?”

At this point I’m feeling a bit like my computer when I’m mad clicking on a million things at once – too much to process. First I was excited, then my heart was singing at how friendly these guys were… You know when you come across people that are just totally unaffected and…nice? I was taken aback. ..then I thought my dream was over because all I had was a trumpet, then I was cussing because I’d hauled my butt up that hill, then I was thinking, “what the hell is a cornet?”

“The cornet is a brass instrument very similar to the trumpet, distinguished by its conical bore, compact shape, and mellower tone quality.” Oh. Right then. So, I guess now I had a trumpet AND a cornet! What I musician I was turning out to be! We started out with a little one-to-one session where my nerves were quickly soothed by the unrelenting kindness and encouragement radiating from the band leaders. In any other situation, if someone had blown spit down a small object and then handed it to me to put my mouth on, it would have been a flat out “FUCK NO” but there I was, giving it a go! I didn’t even wipe the mouth piece first! He was looking right at me, so I couldn’t be so rude, but still, I found myself not even minding because he was so kind. What the hell was this place?

Later on, the rest of the beginners arrived. A wonderful ensemble of enthusiasm and friendliness. A tone deaf ensemble of autism and friendliness. It was purely lovely. (I mean, I’m slightly projecting here, the band are just delicious, me on the other hand, I definitely sit somewhere on the spectrum) I was at home.

I’ve been going every week for about two months now… Well, apart from one week when I turned up and didn’t recognise anyone through the window and went home, only to be told later it was all the same people as usual – I’ve been avoiding an eye test and all that face breathing. ..and every week they show me that it doesn’t matter if you’re just a bit shit at something sometimes, just give it good go and have fun. Saying that, I do notice the odd moment where you can totally tell that the shitness is starting to grate, but still, the encouragement is always there. Now that I’m over giggling at the trombones putting their hands by their bell ends, and the constant offerings of help with my fingering, I think I’m really starting to improve! It’s ace.

So what I’m trying to say here is, if you ever get the opportunity to “just join a band,” DO IT.

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text:
Identification, Images, & Information
For Insects, Spiders & Their Kin
For the United States & Canada
Clickable Guide
Moths Butterflies Flies Caterpillars Flies Dragonflies Flies Mantids Cockroaches Bees and Wasps Walkingsticks Earwigs Ants Termites Hoppers and Kin Hoppers and Kin Beetles True Bugs Fleas Grasshoppers and Kin Ticks Spiders Scorpions Centipedes Millipedes

Upcoming Events

Discussion of 2018 gathering

Photos of insects and people from the 2015 gathering in Wisconsin, July 10-12

Photos of insects and people from the 2014 gathering in Virginia, June 4-7.

Photos of insects and people from the 2013 gathering in Arizona, July 25-28

Photos of insects and people from the 2012 gathering in Alabama

Photos of insects and people from the 2011 gathering in Iowa

Photos from the 2010 Workshop in Grinnell, Iowa

Photos from the 2009 gathering in Washington

Subfamily Polyommatinae - Blues

Eastern Tailed Blue - Cupido comyntas Euphilotes battoides allyni, El Segundo Blue Butterfly - Euphilotes battoides - female Euphilotes - male Celastrina neglecta? - Cupido comyntas - male  Eastern Tailed-Blue - Cupido comyntas - male Silvery Blue - male - Glaucopsyche lygdamus - male Which Blue? - female Square-Spotted Blue Butterfly, Female. - Euphilotes battoides - female
Show images of: caterpillars · adults · both
Kingdom Animalia (Animals)
Phylum Arthropoda (Arthropods)
Subphylum Hexapoda (Hexapods)
Class Insecta (Insects)
Order Lepidoptera (Butterflies and Moths)
Superfamily Papilionoidea (Butterflies and Skippers)
Family Lycaenidae (Blues, Coppers, Hairstreaks, Harvesters)
Subfamily Polyommatinae (Blues)
Synonyms and other taxonomic changes
Often considered as a tribe - "Polyommatini" - under a broader concept of subfamily Lycaeninae, which also incudes Blues, Hairstreaks, and other groups as just tribes.
Internet References


text:
JDK-4619006 : RFE: MBeanServerImpl should use caching in invoke()
  • Type: Enhancement
  • Component: core-svc
  • Sub-Component: javax.management
  • Affected Version: 2.0
  • Priority: P5
  • Status: Resolved
  • Resolution: Fixed
  • OS: generic
  • CPU: generic
  • Submitted: 2002-01-03
  • Updated: 2005-09-17
  • Resolved: 2005-09-17
The Version table provides details related to the release that this issue/RFE will be addressed.

Unresolved : Release in which this issue/RFE will be addressed.
Resolved: Release in which this issue/RFE has been resolved.
Fixed : Release in which this issue/RFE has been fixed. The release containing this fix may be available for download as an Early Access Release or a General Availabitlity Release.

To download the current JDK release, click here.
6 b53Fixed
In reflection there are two things that needs to be done in order to
invoke a method on an object: lookup the method, and invoke it on the
object. The latter is fast, the former is slow. Method lookups in
invoke() are not cached, hence seriously impacting the performance of

EVALUATION Looking up cached methods is faster even for operations because it avoids having to load each class named in the String[] signature array from MBeanServer.invoke. This optimization is now implemented with common code for Standard MBeans and MXBeans that finds Method objects in Maps. For invoke, it is only necessary to compare the received signature array with the signature array of the previously-discovered operation (or operations, in case of overloading). A simple microbenchmark that calls MBeanServer.getAttribute on a Standard MBean 100000 times in a tight loop (measured after "warming up" the JVM by first repeatedly executing the test code without measuring) shows a reduction from 918 ms to 246 ms, i.e. about 270% faster.

EVALUATION ###@###.### 2002-01-04 Not a bad idea, but I am not sure looking up in the cache will be faster than lookup in the Class, at least for operations. For attributes, caching the getter/setter is probably a good idea, although the impact on memory footprint must be kept in mind. Since the invoke() is now performed by the Metadata, we can imagine to provide several implementation of MetadataImpl and let the user choose which one he wishes to use.


text:
timekpr keeps counting time when screen locked or user is switched

Bug #306584 reported by Mark Scott on 2008-12-09
This bug affects 1 person
Affects Status Importance Assigned to Milestone

Bug Description

timekpr keeps counting time against the user even when the screen saver is running/locked or when the screen has been switched to another user (ie: Ubuntu). Unfortunately, this makes timekpr kind of worthless for me since I actually want to be able to control computer usage throughout the day not just login time. Otherwise, my son will need to log in & out several times a day (very annoying) just to be able to not use his precious time.

Mark Scott (markscott) wrote :

This link may help (tells how to use Dbus to get notifications of screen idle state changes):

Mark Scott (markscott) wrote :

Here's a small python script that gets the screensaver status. I am not sure how to run it as root & make it talk to a user's dbus session...

Even Nedberg (nedberg) wrote :

The problem is, as you say, to get the status with root.

We will see if we find a way! For now, I think your son has to log out every time he takes a longer break.

Savvas Radevic (medigeek) wrote :

gnome screensaver has a command to check the status:

$ gnome-screensaver-command -q
The screensaver is inactive
The screensaver is not inhibited

I don't know about xfce or kde though. :\

Changed in timekpr:
importance: Undecided → Medium
status: New → Confirmed
Even Nedberg (nedberg) wrote :

It is no problem to get the status with dbus in kde

$qdbus org.kde.screensaver /ScreenSaver GetActive

I am sure it is possible in XFCE too.

The problem would be to get this status with root (same problem we hade before we started using the client). The client could provide the info in a file or via a dbus call to timekpr. But a user could make a small script to fake this info and the counter would not run.

true, thanks!! same for gnome:
$ qdbus org.gnome.ScreenSaver /ScreenSaver GetActive

I think that xfce uses xscreensaver, it also has xscreensaver-command
but I don't know about dbus

>The client could provide the info in a file or via a dbus call to timekpr.
Correct again, we need dbus integration then (to-do)! :)

Savvas Radevic (medigeek) wrote :

hm.. ok, I checked about xfce, it seems that if favours xscreensaver,
but xubuntu (xubuntu-desktop) depends on gnome-screensaver.

$ apt-cache rdepends gnome-screensaver
Reverse Depends:

If a user installs xfce4 though, they will install xfce4-utils which
favours xscreensaver:
$ apt-cache show xfce4-utils
Package: xfce4-utils
Recommends: xfwm4, xfce4-panel, thunar, xscreensaver | xlockmore |
xlockmore-gl | gnome-screensaver, dbus-x11, xinput, xdg-user-dirs

We could recommend the use of gnome-screensaver in timekpr though with
a warning for xfce users.
All in all, it seems that in the future, timekpr will have to have 3
different packages to resolve all these dependencies correctly:
timekpr-client-kde, timekpr-client-xfce and timekpr-client-gnome.

But for now, I'll try and read about python dbus server/client, let's
hope I can produce something good. :)

Patrick Turcotte (patrek) wrote :

+1 on this one. Would be much more usefull with time keeping of "active" login time, excluding locked time.

Savvas Radevic (medigeek) wrote :

> +1 on this one. Would be much more usefull with time keeping of "active"
> login time, excluding locked time.

Useful yes, but not safe. :\ Until we figure out a safe way (that the
user can't change), we can't implement this check!

Maybe through the gnome-screensaver process?

$ ps aux | grep gnome-screensaver
forger 28636 0.1 0.1 166348 2156 ? Ss Jun30 1:39

Maybe that "Ss" changes when gnome-screensaver is active?

Even Nedberg (nedberg) wrote :

> Maybe that "Ss" changes when gnome-screensaver is active?

Just tested, no it doesn't.

I agree we should try to fix this, but we will have to make it safe. It is to easy for a kid to fool timekpr if we ask the client. And there is no way (that we know of) for timekpr to get this information without asking the client.

Changed in timekpr:
status: Confirmed → Triaged
Alex S (alex-shillington) wrote :
Download full text (3.1 KiB)

First, thanks to the timekpr team - this is extremely useful. Here is my solution to the 'screen locked/user switched time keeps counting' problem - I hope this will help out someone else. I found the code for an executable named idle at http://coderrr.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/getting-idle-time-in-unix/ - I modified it somewhat to just return the number of seconds of idle time for that display. Here's the C code:

#include <X11/extensions/scrnsaver.h>
#include <stdio.h>

main() {
  XScreenSaverInfo *info = XScreenSaverAllocInfo();
  Display *display = XOpenDisplay(NULL);

  if (display != NULL) {
    XScreenSaverQueryInfo(display, DefaultRootWindow(display), info);
    printf("%lu", info->idle/1000);
  } else {
    puts ("error");

I compiled that with the command "gcc -o idle idle.c -lXss" and put the resulting binary in /usr/local/sbin/idle. You call that by first exporting the display that you want to query idle time for as $DISPLAY, then you run idle. For example, say that you have users logged in to displays :5 and :6, then you can run the following commands (as root):

export DISPLAY=:5.0;/usr/local/sbin/idle
export DISPLAY=:6.0;/usr/local/sbin/idle

to find the number of seconds that those users have been idle (no keyboard/mouse activity.) For timekpr, what we really need to find are the users that are active (the normal users command returns all users that are logged in, active or not.) For this, I wrote a shell script and put that in /usr/local/sbin/active_users.sh - here's the code for that:

if [ "$(id -u)" != "0" ]; then
   echo "This script must be run as root" 1>&2
   exit 1

for i in `w | grep tty | awk '{print $2 $3 ":" $1}' | sed 's/^tty[0-9]*\://g'`; do
    display=`echo $i | awk -F ':' '{print $1}'`
    user=`echo $i | awk -F ':' '{print $2}'`
    idletime=`export DISPLAY=$display;/usr/local/sbin/idle`
    case "$1" in
      echo "$user is on display $display with idletime $idletime"
            if [ $idletime -lt 10 ]; then
      echo -n "$user "

As root, when you run /usr/local/sbin/active_users.sh, you will get only a listing of users that are currently active (in a gnome session only - this doesn't help you are trying to limit time for ssh users...)

Almost done!!!

Now, we have to edit /usr/share/python-support/timekpr/timekpr.py to use /usr/local/sbin/active_users.sh instead of the built in users command. Simply change the line that reads:

u = getcmdoutput('users')
u = getcmdoutput('/usr/local/sbin/active_users.sh')

(it's in the getusers function.) Now, just restart the timekpr daemon (/etc/init.d/timekpr restart) and it is ready to go.

I admit, this is a huge hack, but it works for my use case and hopefully can be easily adapted to work for you. There are some problems with this approach - for example, if a time limited user is watching a movie via an app that won't lock the screen, then that user will get extra time. In my case, though, it's all interactive activity so I don't have that problem.

I hope this is useful, and hope even more so that someone i...

Savvas Radevic (medigeek) wrote :

> Here is
> my solution to the 'screen locked/user switched time keeps counting'
> problem - I hope this will help out someone else.

Very nice hack/solution indeed. I'll consider it when the time comes. :)

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text:
Bulbapedia:Archived nominations for administratorship/Pachirisulover12

From Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Support (12)

  • An excellent user with many great contributions. She is devoted to Bulbapedia, and is excellent admin material. She can handle power and responsibilty and is extremely knowledgabe on Pokemon. --Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 20:07, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • I 100% agree and I could'nt think of a better person to become admin (:--Davidaipom 20:19, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • PL12 is a great helper too...she devotes 100% of her efforts here when needed. Wynaut?--Tavisource 20:21, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • As David Tavismax said--KukiTalk 20:21, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • I haven't seen much of her, but she sounds like a good user to me, so I support. --Baby G (talk to me) (see my edits) 20:24, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • Everything I've seen from this girl is of high quality, informative and proffesional, which is exactly what I believe to be Bulbapedias three main strengths. Jen The Ren 20:47, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • After checking her contribs, I'll say that I Agree.--Kkllnn blastoise 20:48, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • Im quite new to Bulbapedia, so I dont know if my vote will count, however, Ive looked at her many edits, and Ive had a chance to talk to her on another site, from what I can tell she is exactly the type of person I would want to be an admin. - unsigned comment from Rachey (talkcontribs)
  • She's young, but, she's a hell of an editor. She's nice, edits like a beast, and all that good stuff. Porygon-Z 01:13, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
  • Despite my instincts, I'll have to say yes. But not now. Definitely NOT now. She's got a bit more to work on, then I think she'll be ready. But not now. Θρtιmαtum♏Talk|Links
  • I think yes. Lord of Origami 12:07, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Support, because I think she would be an good admin. MathijsP 07:11, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
  • SupportPL12 would make a great admin she has contributed so much to Bulbapedia especially in editing she edits like crazy.User:Buizel99

Oppose (6)

  • Oppose - Pachi is really nice and all, but, I just don't think shes quite ready for Admin. -- MAGNEDETH 23:59, 28 September 2008
  • Oppose. Really. This kind of pisses me off, because I see the only people supporting here are the little group of "friends" who want administratorship for everybody who's "nice." I really want the people who care about the stuff that really matters to step up here and vote against this. PL12 was a huge userspace abuser before the ban, with missions and such, hasn't made enough constructive main/template/BP space contributions, went on a months-long hiatus (and when she got back, she made exactly 11 mainspace contribs compared to a vast number of Talk Page contribs). Honestly, she just isn't ready for adminship. Really not ready. --ニョロトノ666 01:44, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
  • Oppose. Who the hell is this? I've never seen her/him edit before :\ And seeing what Poli said about the userspace/talkpage thing...Yeah, i don't think whoever this is would make a good admin. ~~Takoto タコト| サソデイ = 愛 08:05, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Oppose. What? what exactly has she done? --Mooites Talk to me, baby! 18:14, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Everything nice, such as helping others with various things.--Tavisource 18:16, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
I mean stuff like contributing? being nice isnt why people are admins!--Mooites Talk to me, baby! 18:21, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Yes. She's a very nice person. She helps other users with "various things." Again, let me stress that she is a "very nice person." Which has absolutely no bearing on whether or not she'd be a good administrator. --ニョロトノ666 18:21, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Politoed the reason you dont support anyone is cause you want to be the only admin and dont want competition. --Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 18:22, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
What competition? And even so, there's still several other admins. --PsychicRider 18:23, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
And Guardian, the reason you support freaking everybody is because you don't like the users like me and 'pikablu who focus more on helping the pedia than being "kind and friendly!" --ニョロトノ666 18:26, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Poli is a little extreme, but I have to agree with him on this one specifically. This is classic "friends voting". I see no reason for this to happen. --electAbuzzzz 18:27, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

ElectAbuzzzz is right. I'm getting off on a little bit of a rant here, and I need to slow down. I apologize for losing my temper. I guess I just need to have more faith in TTE's ability to determine good choices for admins. After all, if he feels someone isn't able to handle administrative powers, he doesn't have to grant them, regardless of popular vote. --ニョロトノ666 18:32, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
  • whoops, turns out I was only checking mainspace contribs. Now having seen all of them, my vote is changed to oppose. Plus, I hate anyone who has a PearlShipping reference on their userpage--Kkllnn blastoise 00:20, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
That is not a good reason.--Tavisource 00:31, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
Note how I CROSSED OUT THE PEARLSHIPPING THING!!!!!! god. My real reason would not be crossed out.--Kkllnn blastoise00:37, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Other comments

She hasn't really contributed a lot in the last few months. I won't vote against her, though, because she has an excuse.--Blazevoir!! 20:18, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

She was on holiday. Apart from that shes frequently on, and frequently doing good work. --Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 20:21, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
I just want to say that I was gone for a while, and I've been learning the new ups and downs of this place. I really don't know if I'm ready for administratorship.... PL12 20:24, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
Pachi, its great that your humble but you dont need to be in this. I know and all of your supporters know that youd be a great admin. Ive seen you as an admin on IPGL, and you are excellent admin material, combine that with your knowledge of Pokemon and good contributions to BP, theres no reason you shouldnt be an admin. --Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 20:30, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
Where did PL12 go? I guess she couldn't wait for me to return...--Tavisource 20:25, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
She even says she isn't ready. That's what I don't like about this "Democracy". You can nominate people who aren't sure they even want to be an Admin.--Blazevoir!! 20:27, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

TFYA (That's Thank Goodness for your absence), cuz u would've been rejected in May or earlier--KukiTalk 20:29, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

She was just being humble, no one is gonna be "yes i deserve it" cos that is the fastest way to lose it. She deserves to be an admin, look at her contributions and her friendliness to all users. She cant come on here and say "vote for me" cos then no one would, you gotta show humility (is that the right word?)--Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 20:33, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
Blazevoir, you should vote for her. I know you weren't here as long, but she'd been very helpful in the past...and she did welcome you, right? (I know that has nothing to do with being admin, but I just find that a bit trivial.)--Tavisource 20:31, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
Yeah, this is true Democracy. Me being told who to vote for.--Blazevoir!! 20:32, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
I just said that you should...not that you need to.--Tavisource 20:34, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
Blazevoir dont vote agianst her just because you dont like me, this isnt about me, this is about Pachirisulover12 who is clearly a great user and great admin material. --Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 20:35, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

I do agree that if she doesn't feel like she's ready for it, she can go the DCM way and deny it for a later time. --PsychicRider 20:36, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

But she is ready and Im sure in her mind she knows she is, but how do you say "I am ready to be an admin" without sounding like a complete dick. She didnt say "no, im not ready" she took the humble approach and said she didnt know. People dont always say exactly what they mean. --Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 20:38, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
I'm not voting for or against her. That's that. I'm staying away from this page.--Blazevoir!! 20:38, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
How rude.--Tavisource 20:40, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
And what if she is meaning what she said. --PsychicRider 20:41, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
She would have said "no im not ready" instead of "i dont know if im ready" That was just to not sound arrogant. --Guardian of Earth |SGMS 2010 20:43, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

I won't support or oppose but PL12 was a userspace abuser before the ban and has made under 1,000 mainspace edits and is not ready. So if she improves within the next 1-6 months I'll reconcider and people stop chooseing your pals choose someone good who meets all the standards and not barely and that I leanred in my 9-10 months here.--☆Coolピカチュウ! 02:09, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

I'm not on one side or the other. On one hand, she has made a great amount of big and small edits to the mainspace, most of them WikiGnome edits. But on the other hand, recently I've seen quite a bit of user/user talk namespace edits, but I'll have to look into it. Gligar 02:14, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Takoto, just to clarify, PL12 is a girl. --Baby G (talk to me) (see my edits) 20:34, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

BTW, everybody, "Wynaut?" (why not?) is not a good reason to vote for someone as an admin candidate. --ニョロトノ666 01:14, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

This is not a section of 'Other comments'. It is a discussion of how 'nice' this person is. And, trust me, being 'nice' is only one of the many qualities of an admin. It is important, yes, but then again, so is leadership and...some other stuff that I haven't figured out yet. Θρtιmαtum♏Talk|Links