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Keepin' it Movin': Portraits from a New York City Transfer School

360271868 640Tanya

I meet Tanya on the first day of school. She walks in and glances nervously around the room. I get up from the circle of chairs that the rest of us are sitting in and introduce myself. She nods hello and chooses a seat in the corner, away from everyone else.

"Hey, Tanya, come join us in the circle," I say.

"Naw, I'm good, miss, thanks." She goes into her bag and starts digging around, trying to signal to me that the conversation is over. I wait until she finishes digging out her lipstick to continue:

"I know it can be hard on a first day to put yourself out there." She stares at me with a deadpan expression. I try again, "Today's my first day, too. And for those four folks over there." I motion to a small group of boys who look kind of uncomfortable while the other returning students laugh and joke and catch up about their summers. "C'mon over and help us with the poster assignment."

Without any change in her expression or breaking eye contact, she drops the tube of lipstick back into the bag and loudly snaps the clasp shut. "I'm good. I'm going to stay here today." She stares directly at me to see what my next move will be. I weigh my options. It is my first day at a new school; I'm not up for a fight, and besides I have no social capital—not even with my co-teacher—at this point to engage in a power struggle and win.

"Ok, I can give you some room today," I say, smiling slightly, "But tomorrow we're gonna need you in the circle."

"Whatever you say, miss."

"My name is Rachel, dear. Please follow along from where you're sitting."

Things don't get much better than that for the remainder of the time she is at our school. One of my strengths as a teacher is being able to connect with students, and see the good in the hardest places. I am usually able to build trust rather quickly, as I demonstrate to them that I have strict rules and high expectations for a reason. That when I'm giving them a hard time it's coming from an ethic of respect and care, not humiliation and punishment.

But for the next two years, Tanya and I battle it out, sometimes once a day. In a good week, we get by with only a couple conflicts. She often storms out of our Crew room after I make a request for her to stop cursing or making a face at students while they are talking. While she lacks self-awareness (I began to understand through our mediations and calmer conversations that she sometimes doesn't realize how her actions are interpreted by others), she is emotionally intelligent. She uses this, though, to manipulate and bully other students. She is really really good at pushing buttons and identifies them in people quickly. When I am working with her I need to re-center myself often and draw up from deep wells of empathy that I'm not sure go deep enough to influence our interactions.

We do have a few experiences, though, where I am able to find some common ground. One of our responsibilities as advisors is to be present at re-entry meetings if kids are suspended. Tanya often gets into altercations with other girls, and this time around it gets physical. I am in the main office with the principal, Tanya, and her mother, as well as the other girl's advisor and mother. We start talking about what happened and what the expectations are moving forward. I have not talked with her mother at length before; she never comes to conferences and only sometimes returns my calls. I am glad to see her here and hope we can make some inroads.

I laid out my expectations for what we need to see moving forward and turn to Tanya's mom. "Ms. Johnson, are these expectations clear from your point of view? Anything you want to add, change or take away?"

She turns to look at her daughter with such disdain, I think I stop breathing for a few seconds. She pauses before speaking, screwing her face into an expression that resembles experiencing a very foul smell: "It doesn't matter what you say to her. She's good for nothing. She won't do it. How dare you make me come here today, Tanya. I should be out working, putting food on the table, not here dealing with you and your nasty mouth."

In this moment, my frustrations with Tanya go away. I feel so protective of her I want to hug her, physically shielding her from the awful words that continue to come out of her mother's mouth. It clicks for me in this moment, why she is so brutal. Noah Levine, a Buddhist practitioner and teacher, says that hurt people hurt people. Never had I experienced such a stark example of this as a teacher than I do sitting across from Tanya. She cowers ever so slightly under her mother's words, but soon hardens again. I don't think anyone else notices the break in her bored expression.

I wish I could say that our shared experience of growing up with an angry mother gave us a common ground from where to connect; that there was a real breakthrough after that or something. But there isn't. There is a short time period during her second year at school where she falls in love and she really seems to have changed. She is enthusiastic, helpful, open and witty. It's unbelievable, really. But it only lasts a couple months. They break up and she goes back to waging her own private war against the rest of the world.

What is interesting about my student-teacher relationship with Tanya is that in my math class, she is a model student: engaged, hard-working, respectful, inquisitive, and committed. But in the Crew room, no matter how great things go the period before, she publicly states her hatred of the school, and me in particular. It's a long year, and we get to experience different levels of success through contracts, social worker interventions, class excusals, and all out blow-ups. I am relieved when we get to the end of the year and I am able to place her into a different Crew, with a male teacher who is willing to work with her.

When we get back in September, I receive word that Tanya is transferring to night school. This makes a lot of sense, since she hasn't earned more than one credit since last September and has burnt bridges with many of her peers. I can't say I am sad to see her go, either. When she comes back the last day to make the transfer, the social worker asks me if I want to come down and say goodbye to her. I quickly decline. I wish her well, but do not have a desire to speak with her. She was the only student in my career that felt truly hard for me to love. I did everything I could think of to work with her and then some. I have absorbed her anger and abuses too many times to be able to reach out at this point. I appreciate her intelligence and strength, and I really hope that she finds happiness and peace. In a way, though, I feel defeated by her. She seems to disprove my theory that every student will bring positive energy to the community if you give them the space and support to express their goodness. I quietly bid her goodbye in my head, and continue with my morning paperwork.

A couple hours later, I am in town meeting with my Crew when the social worker knocks quietly at the door. She pokes her head in and makes eye contact with me, waving me out into the hall.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask.

"Tanya's here. She's been begging me to say goodbye to you. Will you come down to my office?"

I sit there a moment, considering. I don't remember the last words Tanya spoke to me at the end of the previous school year, but I'm sure it was something on the negative side of neutral, which is the best she can do with me when she is trying her hardest. I sigh, confused but open. "Okay. Sure. I will walk down with you."

When we get close to the social worker's office, Tanya steps outside the door. "Good morning, Tanya. Good luck at your new—"

I don't get to finish my sentence because she slams into me with a big, hard hug. It lasts a couple seconds before she pulls away and looks up at me. "Thanks, Rachel. For everything. I will miss ... being here." She shifts her eyes awkwardly down towards her feet.

I go from confused to absolutely stunned, but I don't show it to Tanya. The social worker and I meet eyes. She's been telling me for the last two years that in spite of all the struggle, I was making an impact. I didn't believe her until now. She gives me a gentle "I told you so" wink. I smile and look down at Tanya. "You're welcome. Good luck at your new school. I look forward to hearing from you when you get your diploma. You're too smart not to. Take good care of yourself, okay?" She nods. I wave to the social worker and return to the town meeting, still not really knowing how to feel.

This story is taken from a longer article by the same author, "Keepin' It Movin': Portraits From a New York City Transfer School." It's originally published in Schools: Studies in Education. Vol 10.1, Spring 2013.

Rachel Parsons

Rachel Parsons is a public school teacher in New York City.  Motivated by powerful inter-generational media work addressing the education crisis in her hometown of Detroit, she transformed her community and labor organizing work through entering the classroom and teaching media literacy and mathematics to high school students.  Passionate about education justice, she constantly seeks new ways to engage youth to be deep thinkers, learners and teachers of math, social justice, and their highest selves.

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Documentary featuring Brada case to be shown at Cannes Film Festival

Posted: May 15, 2015 6:15 p.m.
Updated: May 15, 2015 6:15 p.m.

A film documenting the story of Saugus resident Karla Brada, who was murdered by a boyfriend she met through Alcoholics Anonymous, will be screened at the Cannes Film Festival this year.

The film, called “The 13th Step,” tells the story of Brada and other individuals victimized by criminal acts of AA members. The parents of Brada, who was murdered by AA member Eric Earle in 2011, have filed a wrongful death lawsuit against AA.

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Thor's Day

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They had ice cream and the sun was shining.

Now, Todd generally wasn't the kind of guy to daydream about picnics in the park with someone special. His fantasies had always veered more towards his significant other standing in front of an adoring crowd rocking out to his music and swooning as he dedicated the next song to them.

But he had to admit this was pretty nice too. Dirk was in his band t-shirt and his bright yellow jacket and he had been so thrilled by the ice cream truck that Todd felt compelled to buy him one. That led to them both wandering past the lake with vanilla cones, each covered in sickly-sweet red sauce with a chocolate wafer stick in them.

“They're not quite 99s, but they'll do. I suppose the ice cream man didn't have the necessary Flakes. Typical America, but the sauce is lovely.”

Todd ate his ice cream, watching Dirk lick his into a sort of ball. All the while he took breaks from licking to continue discussing the case. It was all over with now, but it had been a whirlwind adventure involving life and death escapades, power outlets that were not power outlets, far too many flowers and ultimately an unexpected conspiracy among their local convenience stores. Todd's clothes were still drying over his heater at home after the confrontation with the area manager, who had knocked him down with an industrial hose. He had a badly bruised shoulder. After a tumble down the stairs - “A death-defying escape, you mean” - Dirk had bruises all up his thighs, butt and lower back. Allegedly. Todd had been told rather than shown, much to his disappointment.

He wondered, as he watched Dirk snap off bits of his cone and toss it to the ducks, if Dirk gave much thought to their relationship status or if thoughts like that were just too mundane for him. After all, it was Dirk. The guy needed to be told to his face when he had a friend. Thinking about it, maybe he didn't know what friendship entailed. Maybe he figured this was just hanging out, not realising the romantic implications of two grown men spending all their time together, getting ice cream in the park and going for dinners together and sleeping in each other's apartments and wearing one another's clothes.

Or maybe it wasn't romantic and Todd was overthinking it. There was nothing inherently romantic about any of those things. He had probably just been brainwashed by the mainstream romantic media. Just because Amanda had told Dirk to pass her coldest regards onto his boyfriend last time she called, that didn't mean Todd was overstepping the boundaries of friendship. Dirk had gone through a lot at Blackwing. If Todd's friendship had to be all-encompassing to help him get past that, then so be it.

It would have been nice though, to kiss him on the head where the sun was gleaming off his hair. To know he could do that right there in the park and Dirk would just smile afterwards rather than look at him like he was crazy. But just because Todd felt something, that didn't mean it was two-way. Maybe one day he'd be brave enough for the conversation, but today was too good to spoil.

“I'm starting to wonder if you're hearing a single word of what I'm saying,” Dirk said, sounding a little miffed. He was still crouched by the lake, ducks nearby gobbling up discarded bits of wafer cone.

“Sorry, I'm just tired. We have been doing a lot of running in the past forty-eight hours.”

Dirk nodded sagely. “This is true. Are you okay being out and about like this? I didn't think. I mean, you've just had...” He made a small flailing gesture with his hands, losing blobs of ice cream in the process. The gesture was a very veiled reference to Todd's pararibulitis, which had flared up pretty badly during their last case.

“I'm fine. It's... it's fine.” Dirk looked up at him like he wasn't too sure about that. It sucked. Todd had no interest in being a burden. He wanted to be a useful assistant, the one who helped Dirk solve cases and pulled his ass out of the fire and took care of him when he woke up in the night crying about Blackwing. He didn't need to be taken care of.

Dirk worried at his lip, then pushed himself up from his crouch. “Look, you don't need to feel like--”

A sound like an explosion made Todd's ears ring, but it didn't stop. Instead it turned into a strange, almost static sound that gave him an instant headache. It couldn't be an attack because Dirk had his hands over his ears too and people were screaming. When Dirk's eyes widened, Todd followed his gaze to...

There was a hole in the sky. An honest-to-god hole in the sky. Light sparked around the edge of the circle, inside which Todd could see only darkness freckled with stars. Then there was a flash like a strike of lightning from it, blasting the middle of the basketball court. The hole in the sky retracted, shrinking smaller with a sound like a sharp indrawn breath and soon it was completely gone. The sky was blue again and there was a man crouching in the basketball court.

“Oh.” Dirk lowered his hands. Compared to the panic of a moment before, he looked utterly unworried now. “It's just Thor.”

“Just Thor?” Todd hadn't taken him seriously when he had told him they'd met.

“Yes. Come on, let's see what he wants.”

People were still freaking out and running away as Todd followed Dirk's stride across the park. It was weird to think that months ago he would have been among them. He never could have anticipated the strange path this man would lead him down.

The basketball court was pretty damaged by the blast, the fences all leaning out as if a bomb had gone off in there. When Dirk pushed the gate, it fell completely off its hinges and collapsed inward. The sound drew the attention of their godly guest, who turned with his hammer held. He lowered it when he saw Dirk and beamed brightly.

And this was the guy Dirk had said was less attractive than people said? Holy crap his standards had to be sky-high. Thor looked like one of the dudes Amanda would have had posters of years ago. It looked like his god-forged armour was ready to explode with muscles. His blond hair shone in the sun and his smile was as guileless and bright as Dirk's. When he strode forward and hugged Dirk, the smaller man was lifted fully off of the floor.

“Oof, hello Thor.”

“It is good to see you, friend,” Thor said, letting Dirk back down to the ground. “And who is this?” He nodded in Todd's direction.

“Oh, this is Todd! He's my friend. He's my best friend, in fact. We're very close and he's saved my life more than once.”

“A brother in battle?” Thor bestowed one of his beaming smiles on Todd before reaching and taking his hand in a crushing grip. “This is good to hear. Gently oft finds himself on dangerous quests and I have been concerned for his wellbeing.”

“Dirk's my best friend. I wouldn't let anything happen to him.”

Thor nodded approvingly at that. “Good man.” Then his expression dropped slightly as he looked between the two of them. “I regret to say I bring a dangerous quest of my own to your world.”

Dirk sighs. “Oh, well. The downtime was nice, but I suppose the Universe doesn't want me getting complacent with Todd. What is it, then? It isn't about the goats, is it? They bite.”

“Ha, nay, it is not the goats. This is a far worse threat, something I have been investigating with my Avenger companions. The search took me home to Asgard for a time, where my brother gave me some great insights on how to better locate the Mind Gem.”

“The Mind Gem?” Todd asked at the same time Dirk asked, “How is your brother?”

“He is... managing, I think. You are kind to ask.” Thor squeezed Dirk's shoulder and looked at him with a little more than grateful fondness, if Todd had to honestly give his paranoid opinion.

“Wait,” Todd said, trying to keep up. “You mean Loki? That mad guy who tried to take over the world with an army of aliens?”

“Todd, please,” Dirk said pointedly. “Show a little tact. Loki is Thor's brother and clearly is a little...” He made a face that could have meant insane.

“Your friend's dismay is warranted. My brother caused great harm and distress when he fell to your realm. However, he has been instrumental in advising me on how to proceed in this. It is vital that I locate the Mind Gem before it falls into dangerous hands.”

“What advice has he given you?” Dirk asked.

“Loki spoke much of patterns and discerning the shape of the Universe to see where the gems would fit. I had thought to speak to my other mortal acquaintances who are familiar with Midgardian science, but Loki's words made me think of you. Your abilities are unusual, yet served us well in our previous time together.”

Under the praise, Dirk glowed. “Well, I think it was a team effort, really, but I do have a knack of being in the right place at the right time.”

“And that is precisely what I need.”

Todd wanted to say something about not dragging Dirk into danger, something about how this sounded a little above their paygrade and maybe something about how deranged would-be world conquerors probably weren't the best source of inspiration when it came to day-planning, but when he took a step he felt a searing pain in his right foot. With a sharp cry, he saw sharp wires had come out of the fence and were protruding through his foot, right through the sole and out through the top, bloody and sore.

Instead of speaking his mind, Todd screamed.

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Sleep was slow to let go of him. Todd fought for consciousness through the irritating headache that his medication always left him with. He was used to having a nap after taking his pills, but it wasn't until he startled at the empty bed that he realised just how used he was to Dirk waiting with him. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and tried to get his head together. His feet ached with the memory of his hallucinated pain, but he was fine to stumble out of bed.

He could hear conversation in the front room so he forced himself to head out there, too tired to care about how he looked.

At least he was until he saw the way Dirk was looking at the golden god. Both of them were sat by the window, glowing in the sunlight and cheerfully chatting away with newspapers and files between them. Todd felt like a stormcloud as he slouched over to them. Dirk, who would normally have been sat on the bed with a book or a mind-numbing phone game, didn't even notice his approach until he spoke.

“Todd, hiii!” Then to Thor, “see, I told you he'd be alright.” Then to Todd again, “Thor was worried.”

The Norse god clapped him on the shoulder with such an obvious effort to be careful that Todd hated him a little bit more. “Gently has told me about your malady of mind. I am deeply sorry. 'Tis the sort of thing that would intrigue my brother, but I know little that would be helpful.”

“Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.” Todd bit his tongue at the shocked look Dirk sent him and tacked on, “Uh, it's a very unusual phenomena. Even here on... Midgard.” See, he wasn't making fun of anyone's intelligence. Really.

Dirk reached out and squeezed his arm. “Are you feeling better now? We didn't want to go until you were better.”

Todd cleared his throat, trying to wake up a little. “Where are we going?”

“You need not fear,” Thor said jovially, “you may remain here and rest. Gently and I have many avenues of interest to investigate.”

“I just got done resting in case you didn't notice,” Todd pointed out.

Sometimes Dirk's smiles could be utterly infuriating. The 'fond pity' smile was right up there on that scale next to the 'I was right and now we're going to die but I told you so' smile. He lowered his hand from squeezing Todd's bicep to grasp his hand. “Todd. You look absolutely knackered. Grab a coffee, watch some telly and we'll be back before you know it.”

“What if something happens?”

A blink of confusion was Dirk's only response. But Thor got it. He stood up like some sort of mountain raising from the ground and dropped his hand heavily onto Todd's shoulder. “I swear I will protect him.”

“Oh honestly,” Dirk scoffed. “I hardly think that's necessary. But whatever keeps you sane, Todd.”

“Really, I could go with you.” He couldn't even shrug Thor's heavy hand off.

“Please stay?” Dirk pleaded. Like when he asked Todd to help him and it was just impossible to argue with that tone. Even when it came from a place of pity and undue concern.

Rolling his eyes, Todd relented. “Fine. But keep your tracker on.” They had registered one another's phone locations shortly after Blackwing.

“Got it.”

Thor strode to the door while Dirk grabbed bits and pieces from around the apartment to shove in his pockets. When he saw Thor was out of the door, Dirk gave Todd a look of disappointment. “You know, he did carry you all the way home. You should be nicer to him.”

“Am I being not nice?” He hadn't done or said anything rude.

Dirk raised his eyebrows. “You know how you're being. So do I. Lucky for you he's too nice to notice.” He patted his pockets and nodded in satisfaction. “Right. Call me if you need anything.” He patted Todd on the shoulder. There was a moment where they stood there just looking at one another. It was as though Dirk wanted to say something else, but ultimately he just nodded again and dashed off. “Be good!”

“I'm not a—” The door slammed “--child.”

Damn it.

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Dirk brought the car to a sharp stop. Thor steadied himself against the dash.

“No need to apologise, friend. You drive well. Many Midgardians seem content to move slowly, but our quest requires haste.” He looked around. “Why have you brought us here?”

Stepping out of the car, Dirk pointed to the overhead sign protruding from a shop front down the street. It was supposed to say 'Gemma's Mindfulness Emporium' but some letters had fallen, which meant it said 'Gem's Mind Emporium'. Thor did not look convinced of its importance.

“A coincidence, no?”

“Rarely. We were literally going just a street from here and this shows up? No, this is worth looking into.”

Thor smiled and held his hands up. “Very well. I am here to heed your guidance.” He followed Dirk out of the car, picking up his hammer. A passer-by stared until his friend nudged him and said something about cosplayers. Dirk led the way, but Thor soon put a hand on his shoulder to hold him back. “I should go first.”

“What? Why?” Dirk glanced at the store, which had large crystals and Wiccan jewellery in the window underneath paintings of angels. “It doesn't look dangerous.”

“Your friend would be livid if I allowed harm to come to you.”

Dirk laughed at the thought of Todd taking on Thor. He would inevitably be held at bay by one of Thor's hands firmly placed against his face, arms windmilling around as he tried to punch the God. “I really don't think that's anything to worry about. He'd be the first to say it was my fault anyway if anything happened.”

“I'm not sure that's the case. He looks at you with great fondness. You yourself mentioned he is accustomed to waking up with you near.”

“Well yes, but that's just... I mean, I live downstairs. And we're best friends. Of course I'm around all the time. And he's sick, so it's the least I can do. He needs a friend as much as I do and with the way the Universe throws me around all the time I thought it's best I make the most of...” He trailed off, noticing the way Thor was watching him. “I'm protesting too much, aren't I?”

“Verily.” Thor seemed to be trying not to laugh. Charming.

With a groan, Dirk tried to explain again. “Todd is my friend. It was difficult enough to make him my friend, without asking him to be anything else.”

“And if he desires more? Certainly he looks at you with a--”

“Great fondness, yes, you said.” Dirk sighed. “Look, I would be lying if I said the thought didn't appeal. A lot. But I can't just project my own feelings onto him that way. I might be in love with him, but he doesn't need to know that. I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a very... well...” He thought about it. “Than ever, really.”

Thor squeezed his shoulder, smile more wan than it had previously been. “If you say so, my friend. I would usually advise courage, but your choice is your own. Still, I would not be the one to tell your friend I allowed you to wade first into uncertain territory. Let me go first.”

He folded his arms and tried to look put out about having a Norse God for shield. “If you must.”

This proved the sensible choice. When Thor opened the door of the little shop, the bell above the door rang before he was blasted back out of the doorway with a beam of light. Then a couple of black cars down the road erupted with secret agents brandishing guns.

“S.H.I.E.L.D! Get down!”

The gang were going to be so disappointed they missed this one.

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“So... the Thor, from the Avengers? Seriously?”

Todd was glad this was a phone conversation so that Farah couldn't see the face he was making. “After everything I said, you're still stuck on the very first point? This stupidly handsome huge man dragged Dirk off for an adventure to find some relic that apparently is a job worthy of the Avengers. Dirk calls me rambling about SHIELD and alien weapons and I don't see him again for four hours, at which point he's being carried through the door by Thor. I figure he's hurt or something when Thor says he made his ancestors proud, turns out he's just drunk! Dirk! Drunk!”

“I get it.”

“You do?” Todd huffed out a sigh of relief. Good, reliable Farah. He knew she was the right person to call. “Good. It's not cool.”

“Not taking your many insecurities into account. He should know better than to leave you out of these things. Especially when you consider how you feel about him.”

“Sorry, what?” He didn't recall having that conversation with her.

“Well, you're going to be especially sensitive to him ditching you for this... 'stupidly handsome' guy because you're, you know, interested in him. Romantically. Dirk, I mean, obviously, why would you think I meant Thor...” She sighs and Todd is still reeling that he's that obvious when she asks, “does he carry Mjolnir?”

“Yeah. He left it on the coffee table when he stopped to use the bathroom. I'm not worthy, I checked.”

“Shame. That could have come in handy on cases.”

“Assuming Dirk still has cases and doesn't become like, some sort of consultant for the Avengers that he parties with,” Todd grumbles.

“You're being ridiculous.”

Todd ran his ran through his hair. Farah had never steered him wrong before, but she didn't know Dirk like he did. She underestimated him like so many people. Probably because she'd have a breakdown if she admitted to herself how impossible he was. Todd could just imagine him befriending the Avengers, running from Hydra and sitting around a table with Black Widow and Captain America. It would suit him.

It would suit him better than sitting in Todd's bed.

The door to his bedroom opened. “I gotta go, Farah.”

He hung up and turned to see Dirk waving half-heartedly at the phone. “Hi Farah.” He shuffled past Todd bleary-eyed to the kitchen, where he nudged a glass under the tap, filled it with cold water and then drank the whole thing.

“Hungover?” Todd asked dryly.

Dirk blinked then set down the glass and rubbed at his eyes. “Maybe.” He looked around. “I'm in your flat, Todd.”

“Apartment,” Todd corrected. “And yeah, Thor brought you here. Don't know why he didn't dump your unconscious ass in your own place.”

“I wanted to see you, I think. I probably mentioned it. He's a good friend.”

Todd ground his teeth so suddenly he caught his own tongue and winced. “Oh yeah, he's the best. Dragging you out to get attacked by superpowered criminals then getting you so wasted you threw up down the steps outside.”

“Oh, I remember that,” Dirk said, wrinkling his nose in disgust before holding up his index finger at a sudden thought. “Todd, did you know that those little fruity cocktails are actually sometimes more alcoholic than that beer you drink?”

“Yes! How could you not know that?”

He didn't regret his outburst, even when Dirk peered at him curiously and said, “You're upset about something.” After a moment's consideration, he asked, “Did I throw up in here as well?”

“You'd better not have,” Todd said darkly, stomping over to the bedroom to glance inside. He couldn't see any signs of vomit.

“So why are you so annoyed? It was a celebration. We found the Mind Gem and Thor's going to take it back to the Avengers! I can't wait to meet them.”

None of Todd's worrying had prepared him for how the air would rush out of his lungs, like a big cushion being sat on suddenly. “The Avengers?”

“Yes! It's dead exciting. I think I'm most excited to meet...” Dirk pondered. “...Pepper Potts. Wait, will she be there? Technically she's not an Avenger, per se...”

“I can't believe you!”

Dirk blinked. “You're more of a Hawkeye man?”

“This isn't funny, Dirk. You're seriously just... are the Avengers that cool?”

“Well, they're pretty cool. I thought. I mean, I know you're not overkeen on superheroes in general, but you're not overkeen on a good deal many things, so...”

“If you're gonna go, just go.” He couldn't articulate why this felt so unfair. He had no right to Dirk. Maybe Farah could get pissed at him though. After all, she was funding Dirk's whole detective enterprise. But Todd? The 'assistant'? The 'ward'? Oh god, he was going to have to go back to minimum wage work. No more running around the city on bizarre quests. No more waking up to Dirk burning food under the guise of making him breakfast. No more falling asleep on the couch with him watching movies. Life as it was before Dirk. It seemed like a life without colour in retrospect.

“I've got this feeling I've missed something.” Dirk certainly seemed upset. “Todd...”

“Forget it. I just thought... no, forget it.” If Dirk hadn't realised by now then it just proved that this had been in Todd's head all along. That they were just dudes finding clues and Dirk had no intention of sticking around for anything beyond that. Hadn't he always said he was dragged around by the Universe? Maybe it was dragging him to some people who could actually protect him for a change, people like stupid muscular Thor.

“Todd...” Dirk wrung his hands together. “Have I done something to make you grouchy?” He hesitated. “Grouchier.”

Oh right, yeah. Todd forgot he was a stormcloud of negativity in Dirk's sunshine world. He grabbed his jacket and threw it on. He didn't actually know if it was cold enough outside to warrant it, but at least it made him feel a little more badass. “I'm going for a walk. Don't forget to pick up anything you've left in my apartment.”

He stormed out. He would have said for Dirk to lock up after himself, but the damn lock still wasn't fixed. A broken lock, a trashed apartment with Rowdy graffiti on the wall and a dead landlord. That's all he'd have left to show for Dirk's time in his life.

That and the general sense that he could have handled things differently, but he was very familiar with that already.

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Dirk wasn't sure how long he sat on the sofa petting the Sharkitten, reassuring her that Todd would be back in no time.

“You know how he gets, of course. I had half a mind to follow him, but he was being such a mardy-bum that I was worried I'd just make it worse.” Sharkitten made a sound somewhere between a purr and a mewl at the way Dirk was scratching her ear. He decided to treat it as deep insight. “You're right, of course. I chickened out. I should have gone after him. I wanted to, I did, but... the last time we fought it was so awful. I'm not ready for another argument like that. I know everyone has their lovers' tiffs, but it honestly was one of the worst things ever.”

He nodded as the cat made further sounds. He knew, in his heart, that she couldn't understand a bloody word he was saying, but that didn't matter. Vocalising it like this, treating it like a chat with the cat, it made it less... serious. He didn't want to sit in silence thinking, wondering if this was somehow his fault. Probably. He had been a little over-cautious of Todd's health since learning of the pararibulitis. That was probably annoying. But Dirk would never dream of embarrassing him in front of the Avengers or anything like... oh, wait, he had spoken to Thor about Todd's condition. Of course.

“Oh, I'm such an insensitive fool!”

There was a knock at the door. Dirk frowned. Why would Todd knock at his own door? “Who is it?”

The door pushed open slowly, the broken lock making it all too easy for Loki of Asgard (or Jotunheim) to step through the doorway. Eyes glowing green with magic and madness, he was no less imposing than his brother despite his slighter frame.

In Dirk's arms Sharkitten twisted and hissed. He slowly set her down on the floor behind the arm of the sofa where she couldn't be agitated by the intruder. Then he stood to greet the new guest.

“If you're looking for Thor, he's--”

“I'm not.”

When Loki took a step closer, Dirk took a step back. Hunches were inconsistent. Some required close examination to be sure they were actually hunches at all, but sometimes he felt a pull sharp enough that it was like the Universe was actually shouting at him. He rated the current insistence of the Universe a little above that, actually, somewhere more along the lines of GET OUT AND AWAY, a screaming panic in the back of his head that made his heart race but meshed poorly with the composed and regal being before him.

Oh, but that wasn't all Loki was, was it? Dirk had seen the same footage as Todd and most of the world, the raging lunatic at the head of an alien army. Thor still seemed certain he had not been in control and had been gratified when Dirk agreed. He hadn't realised Dirk's real meaning – that a power like Loki's under his own control was far more dangerous than anything they had seen. He didn't need the Universe panicking at him to know that.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

Loki's lips curved into a false, handsome smile. “So obliging. You led my brother directly to the Mind Gem. I thought you would.”

“Thor said it was his idea to... oh.” The pattern unfurled in front of him. “Oh, I see.”

The God tilted his head, examining him. “You do, don't you? Clever boy. And so helpful, with your connections to” - he held out his arms in a grand gesture to the world - “Everything.”

Dirk shrugged, trying to channel a bit of Todd-like bravery in the face of warped divinity. “Well, you know, everything is connected.”

Loki held up an elegant finger. “Not everything. That's why you're here. You and the others. If everything were truly connected, these mortals wouldn't need you.”

“I'm not sure they need--”

“They would see as you do. They would walk through the patterns with their heads held high and the world would be ever so tidy. But they can't see it. They are not connected.” Loki slowly began to walk around Todd's flat, hands clasped loosely behind his back as he appraised various items. “There have always been prophets, Icarus.”

“That's not my name,” Dirk blurted automatically.

He couldn't quite see Loki's face from this angle, but he saw the shift of his cheeks as his smile widened. While the God looked away, Dirk shooed the Sharkitten softly with his foot, breathing a sigh of relief when she went out onto the fire escape. The last thing they needed in the room was a shark soul explosion.

“What's in a name?”

“You tell me, Liesmith.” Ooh, he hoped he lived so that he could tell Todd about that. Todd loved a bit of death-defying banter.

But Loki didn't seem too bothered when he turned back to face him. “You know, I like you. You're unusual and frankly, you have the spirit of chaos.” Dirk opened his mouth to retort but suddenly Loki was in his face, those delicate-seeming hands gripping his jaw as if they were made of immoveable stone. “But this mortal flesh, it's weak. And I need to see what you see.”

Dirk voiced an eloquent and passionate protest, but as he was unable to move his jaw it came out rather garbled. And yet somehow Loki understood.

“What causes your concern? This Universal plan has done nothing but harm you. We are cursed with power, not blessed. You should be grateful I am taking your curse and adding it to my own.”

There was so much to discuss. So much to debate. So much to explain and so much to warn of.

Loki didn't let up his grip and Dirk was unable to say anything as the glow in Loki's eyes grew ever brighter. Hypnotic. Consuming.

Then it vanished and left him in dark oblivion.

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Thor had been the one to find Dirk, just to pile on the guilt. Todd had ignored the first call from Dirk's number, but the second had come so soon after that he'd known something was wrong. Expecting a hyperactive rambling about either apologies or hunches, Todd had been thrown by Thor's voice booming down the phone. Especially when he'd said Dirk was hurt.

Not even ten minutes later Todd was sat at the edge of the sofa, fussing futilely over his unconscious friend. Patting his face hadn't woken him up, neither did cold water or shouting. He was breathing steadily with a pulse and everything, but he was somehow... grey. As if the vibrant colour had faded from him, leaving everything muted and wrong.

“My brother's magic. The whole place reeks of it.”

“Your psycho brother Loki? What the hell does he have to gain by hurting Dirk? And how did he find him? Did he come here looking for you?” Farah, he'd need to call Farah. He'd bet on her over a Norse God.

“I should have been more cautious,” Thor said, looking mournfully at Dirk's still body. “Loki spoke of patterns and miracles and the order of the Universe. Gently was the first thought to come to my mind and now it seems to me that may have been intentional on my brother's part. He always was good at manipulating me onto a path of his choosing.”

“That doesn't explain why he's done this.” Todd didn't have time for the brotherly angst of superheroes. “What does he want? Is he after that gem?”

“Perhaps. With Gently's power the Infinity Gems will fall easily into his path if he wills it.”

“No, it doesn't work like that. The Universe decides where Dirk gets to go. He doesn't control it.”

“I'm aware. He is but mortal. My brother is Loki the Liesmith, God of Chaos and Stories. And frequently, God of the changing paths. He already steps between this Universe and others. It will be no trying task at all for him to pull to pieces that force which guides Gently, to decide which parts of it to keep and which to burn.”

“What...” Todd tried to get his head around the allegory, “does that even mean. The 'force' that guides Dirk, he's pretty sure it's the Universe so...”

“You understand then, why this could be devastating on a cosmic level.”

Todd blinked. “Your brother's going to start pulling apart the Universe?”

“Aye, I fear so.”

“Jesus.” Todd looked to Dirk automatically, startled all over again to see him so devoid of life. It was at these moments that he needed Dirk's excitement and enthusiasm for the unusual. “Are you gonna like... call the Avengers?”

Thor winced. He definitely winced, Todd was not imagining it. “I would prefer to locate Loki myself, in case--” A sound in the hallway gave him pause. It was the sound of ruckus getting nearer and nearer. Todd groaned at the familiarity.

“Not now, please...”

The door swung open as though kicked in, slamming into the wall. Dirk still didn't stir, even as the Rowdy 3 howled and stomped into the room. Amanda followed and immediately ran to Dirk's side, dropping to her knees near the sofa. “Oh my god, you guys were right.”

“We're always right!” Vogel chirped. “Except sometimes.”

He went into the kitchen to steal food while Gripps and Cross circled Thor like a pair of stray dogs sizing up a wolf. Thor barely glanced at them, his attention on Martin who was strolling over to join Amanda at Dirk's side. Todd tried to protect the unconscious Dirk from this invasion of his personal space, but pulling him a little closer and saying “hey” did nothing to stop Martin from gripping Dirk's jaw and staring intently at his face. Amanda watched her gang leader like he would say something really profound at any moment. Instead, Martin leaned in and sniffed Dirk. Like, really took a deep, long inhale as though he were trying to snort something off of his collarbone.

After a while of contemplation, he nodded and stood upright again. “It's gone.”

“What's gone?” Todd snapped. He didn't mean to snap, but more comprehensive answers would have been great.

“What he had.”

Todd sighed. “Thanks for that, that's really helpful.”

“Oh shut up, Todd,” Amanda said with a glare. “It's not like you have some great idea of what's going on.”

“We gonna help him?” Gripps asked. Even Vogel had meandered over now, curious about the situation.

“Some things shouldn't be taken,” Martin said, voice gruff. “Ain't no man entitled to take what that boy held in himself.”

“My brother did this,” Thor explained. “He is a god, not a mere man.”

There was a moment of quiet before Martin reiterated, “Ain't no man, or God, entitled to take what that boy held in himself.”

“We need to find Loki,” Amanda said, wringing her hands as she looked at Dirk's helpless body. It was strange seeing him so still. Even when they shared a bed, Todd found him sprawling and twisting and turning all night and mumbling nonsense to himself.

“Loki will not be found until he is ready,” Thor advised. “He is a master of deceit and illusion. I will face him when he chooses to strike for the next gem. Until then, he will undoubtedly remain hidden.”

“Not from u-u-us...” Cross sang. Todd would have called it a 'sing-song voice', if not for the relish for violence in his eyes.

The Rowdy 3 and Todd's sister turned as one and made their way to the door. Amanda turned back as they reached the door, gripping the doorframe to lean over the threshold. “You just hang tight and cuddle your boyfriend, Todd. We'll deal with this.”

“He's not my—” The door slammed shut and promptly fell off the hinges into the apartment. “--damn it.”

Thor made no move to follow them, clearly doubting their abilities as god-hunters. He watched Todd for a while, until Todd realised he was petting Dirk's hair and stopped, his cheeks growing warm.

“He will be glad to know that you have been watching over him,” Thor said solemnly.

Then he went to fix the front door with his godly hammer.

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The new sense wavered in and out of Loki's control. An appropriate mortal metaphor would be like blurring vision, or a ringing in the ears. This 'power' would require practise if he was to wield it as effortlessly as he did the rest. But whenever he did align it correctly with his needs... revelation. It was the only word for it. In those moments the Nine Realms did not appear as twisting paths at all. They lay before him instead as easily-constructed furniture with a plan.

Poor Dirk Gently, who had never quite ascended to the level where he could understand such plans. Such was the way that fate toyed with mortals, giving them gifts that they could never fully appreciate. One might as well lay the gifts at Loki's feet for him to pluck from the ground. There had been no resistance at all.

Walking down the quiet street, the roadside lights cast his silhouette in various guises behind him. His magic made it a snake, then horned as if he wore his helmet, then winged... just little illusionary tricks cast as a sort of fidgeting while he meditated. And the Universe fell into place. In this direction the tesseract, in this direction a chain of events that could destroy the Avengers from within. Everything was connected and he could weave it however he wished. Another option led to his rule over Asgard, another option... a van. A loud van painted with tribal markings.

That path grew wider, increasingly difficult to avoid. Every step he took, every plan he made, each brought him back to the pounding beat in the van.

When he blinked it appeared before him, crawling to a stop in the road. The doors opened and some leather-clad men climbed out, wielding bats and crowbars. Their glares made their intentions very clear.

Loki could not help but smile at the courage of mortals. “You think to intimidate me?”

“Nope. We're here to kick your ass.” The girl behind them spoke fiercely, but there was something more to her, something that bore investigating.

He laughed at their audacity. “How delightful.”

But then there were things that Dirk understood about his power that Loki did not.

Warning signs, for example.

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“--claims of 'disgraceful conduct' towards the secretary of--”

“--in a high-speed pursuit through a pedestrian zone, leading to--”

“--awards for best album and best single in a stunning--”

“--can you believe that shot, Jimmy?! I can't believe it. I honestly--”

When the channel changed for the fiftieth time, Todd lost his temper and snatched the remote control from Thor's hand before slamming it down on the coffee table. “This is not helping!”

“My brother's move will likely be televised if it involves civilians. As Heimdall could not see him, I would like to exhaust Midgardian options to locate him before I alert the Avengers to his presence. They would not take it well.”

Todd ran a hand back through his hair, if only because hitting out at the God of Thunder would probably be embarrassing. “So this is your plan? You flick through the news and hope that he shows up?”

“Heimdall will alert me--”

“If he sees him, which from the sounds of things, he can't!” Todd stomped back into his room, where they had put Dirk to bed. If he was going to be laid out unconscious it seemed only fair to make him comfortable. It had been hours now and he still showed no signs of waking. When Todd took his hand it felt cool and it was only the visible rise and fall of Dirk's chest that staved off his panic.

He heard Thor's heavy footfall approach and couldn't help a further grumble. “If Dirk were awake, he'd have had an idea by now.” Todd hadn't realised how much he would miss cosmic hunches when they were gone.

“I fear he would not. His ability was stolen and--”

“Shut. Up. Just shut up. Go sit in the other room and watch the news. I'm gonna... I'll call Farah again, see if she's got anything yet.”

“You're angry.”

“No shit.”

“But you're more angry with me than I feel I deserve. In fact, your annoyance has been clear from the moment we met. Have I offended, Man of Brotz?”

“It's Todd, okay? And you can't expect to just walk in here and steal my goddamn best friend without consequences! Emotional ones, anyway.”

“Now I fear you have lost me.”

The apologetic smile that accompanied the comment was really what pissed him off. Todd dropped Dirk's hand and stood from the bed. “Okay, you've got no right trying to look like a kicked puppy when you're the one who brought all this to our door.”

“This is true and I swear to you that I will make it right. But this does not explain why you have despised me since my arrival. I have not mentioned it to Gently, but I see it in your eyes.” He gestured to Todd's face. “So I ask again, beyond the fact that my visit has brought down my brother's wrath, have I offended?”

“Yes. You... you waltzed in here like a God and shut up I know you are one. But look at you.” Todd waved a hand at the man and Thor actually did look over his own physique. “You're like some sort of fantasy action hero, all noble with your golden hair and biceps as big as me. I mean, I never had a damn chance. The second you say, 'come with me and meet the Avengers', Dirk is gone. So yeah, I'm bitter. So sue me. You're stealing my Dirk so I think I'm allowed to be a little bitter.”

“How am I stealing him?”

“Fine, fine,” Todd threw his hands up, “not 'stealing' him then, cordially inviting him to the Avengers. Whatever. The end result's the same, me on my own. Again.” He knew he was being selfish. He didn't deserve Dirk. Maybe he didn't even deserve to feel upset about Dirk moving on.

Thor thought about this for a moment. “He would most likely not visit for long if you refuse to join us, so your time alone will be brief. I must confess, I'm confused. Dirk seemed to think you would enjoy meeting my friends, for all that you're not keen on me.”

….Dirk had never intended to go anywhere.

It took long enough to process the realisation that Thor leaned down to his level and asked seriously, “are you well?”

“I am... a colossal fuck-up.”

Although Thor blinked and looked a little confused, he shrugged. “I couldn't comment. I don't know you very well. I am sure you judge yourself too harshly, however. Many Midgardians seem to and Dirk has sung your praises most vigorously.”

Todd groaned. “Of course he has. He's an inherently praisy person.”

“He is exceedingly fond of you.”

“We're best friends.”

“Perhaps it is just that, but...” Thor looked away. Todd wondered if he was actually being coy on purpose. “He seemed to express that--”

The door crashed open in the main room. Amanda called his name.

“In the bedroom!” She bounded in, the Rowdy Three right behind her. One of them shoved Todd aside. He didn't even see who, he was so focused on the way they were crowding around Dirk. It was freaky enough to see them do this when he was conscious but like this, it turned his stomach. “Amanda...”

She grabbed his hand, her eyes fixed on the scene too. “It's okay,” she said, full of confidence. “They're fixing it.”

The Rowdy Three didn't seem to be inhaling Dirk's power like a drug. They were exhaling, golden mist settling over Dirk's skin. And, unless Todd was imagining it, the colour was already coming back to Dirk's cheeks.

Then he sat up and screamed. Vogel startled. “Whoa!”

Dirk blinked and looked around at them all. When he saw Todd he beamed. “Hi Todd. Hi everyone. Um. I assume the day was... saved?”

Amanda nodded. “Yeah, you missed it. Loki's tied to the van roof like a bundle of camping equipment. I think we did actually put him in a sleeping bag.”

Todd looked at her to try and assess whether she was joking. It didn't look like she was. “You...hog-tied a Norse god?”

“We knocked him out first.”

Thor left the room, probably to go and check on his bad brother.

“Well done!” Dirk swung his legs off of the bed. “And thank you, Rowdy Three. I'm sure that Amanda was pivotal in obtaining your assistance, but I appreciate it nonetheless. A successful world-saving endeavour.”

“You owe us,” Martin said firmly, pointing a finger at Dirk's face.

“Surely not. The very world was at risk and--” Martin prodded him in the forehead. “--Ow! Okay, I owe you.” He pouted as they strolled out of the bedroom, rubbing at the spot. Amanda darted forward and gave him the world's quickest hug before following her gang.

That left the two of them alone. Todd sat on the bed beside Dirk and looked down at the floor. There was a smudge of something on the floorboards. Someone's past dinner, no doubt. He prodded at it with his sock.

“I'm really sorry,” Dirk said suddenly, drawing his attention back.

“What? For what?”

“Um...” Dirk looked hunted. “Whatever made you angry? Well, angrier.”

“It wasn't anything you did. I was being stupid. I'm sorry.”

“Oh.” Dirk smiled. “Well I'm glad we sorted that out.”

“Me too,” Todd replied, unable to avoid smiling back. He nudged Dirk lightly with his shoulder. “And I'm glad you're okay.”

“Yeah?” Dirk's smile took on a smug twist.

“Yeah. I'm 'exceedingly fond of you', as Thor would say.”

Dirk took a sharp little breath. “Are you really?”

It was pretty unusual for the make-or-break moments to appear so obvious, but Todd was used to them happening more since Dirk appeared in his life. He linked his fingers with Dirk's.

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

His hand was squeezed lightly.

“Good. I reciprocate.”

They sat in contented silence for a while until Todd couldn't help but break it.

“We're never going to write for romance films.”

Shaking his head sagely, Dirk agreed. But Todd couldn't say he'd really expected a typical declaration of affection. Hopefully he'd never have a 'typical' anything again in his life.

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Dirk followed his guide to a stop back in the main foyer of Stark Tower. He had an arm full of Avengers and Iron Man merchandise.

“And that concludes the tour of...” Pepper sighed. “Pretty much everywhere I know.” Her smile appeared to be straining for some reason. Perhaps she had been on her feet too long? Her heels were impressive. “Mr Gently...”

“Oh please, call me Dirk.”

“Dirk. I'm really... flattered, that I was able to show you around today. Any friend of Thor's is a friend of mine and I have infinite time and patience for world-savers. But I don't really have anything else to show you.”

“That's alright, I was really just super-excited to meet you.”

“Oh yes, you're my favourite Avenger.”

“I'm not... I mean...” She stopped. After a moment, smiled again, not strained this time. “That's very sweet. What about your friend?”

“Todd. Boyfriend, actually.”

“Lucky him.”

“Lucky me, really.”

“Where is he?”

“Uhh...” That was a very good question. “Hang on, I'll ask my phone tracker.”

As he fumbled, Pepper asked, “JARVIS, what is Mr Brotzman's current location?”

“The second training range, Ms Potts.”

“Thank you. Come on, Dirk.”

He followed after her obediently. “You should really meet my friend Farah. It's so fantastic to know people who are so objective-focused and competent. It's quite refreshing because most people are sort of messy in more non-productive ways.”

She made lots of listening noises as she led him to the training range, where they found Todd standing with an apple on his head. Before Dirk could register his complaint, an arrow thunk-ed into it. Todd's eyes widened a little. More awe than fear, Dirk felt. He glared at Hawkeye, who was checking his next arrow.

“I think that's quite enough of that. Todd, we're leaving.”

Todd rushed over. “Dude, did you see that? This is why Hawkeye's my favourite. He doesn't even have superpowers, how badass is that?”

“Yes, yes, he's very impressive.”

Hawkeye waved Todd away when he offered the apple and arrow back. “Keep it, man.”

Todd looked like, well, like Dirk when given a Mexican Funeral t-shirt.

“We really need to leave now, Todd.”

“Yeah? You got a hunch?”

“Yes. That. A very important one.”

And that was that. They thanked Pepper and promised to visit again soon. Her smile strained again. Thor returned to walk them out to their taxi and in no time at all they were on their way home.

“So what's the hunch?”

Dirk jolted from where he had been peacefully resting against Todd's side. “What?”

“The hunch, you said there was...” Todd grinned. “There wasn't a hunch, was there?”

“There was! A really important one!”

“Did it involve me running off with Hawkeye?”

With a chuckle, Todd leaned in and kissed him. Dirk never got tired of kisses and this one ended too soon. Except Todd rested their foreheads together after, which was very nice. “I can promise you the Universe isn't planning that at all. You're the best thing it could give me.”

Another kiss, this one initiated by Dirk. Congratulatory more than anything, because, “You could write for a romance script after all!”

Todd rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. “Idiot. We were having a moment.”

Dirk wriggled so that he could lay his head on Todd's lap. “Don't worry. We'll have plenty.”

“That a hunch?”

Todd's hand ran through his hair.

“Okay, that one I'll believe.”


text:
Police / Fire

POSTED: Monday, October 20, 2008

Drowned snorkeler from N.J.

Big Island police yesterday identified the 40-year-old man who apparently drowned while snorkeling with his wife off Punaluu Beach park as Edward R. McCarthy-Slaughter of Hasbrouck Heights, N.J.

McCarthy-Slaughter was caught in high surf and tried to return to shore with his wife at about noon, but did not make it. His wife made it back.

Bystanders helped bring McCarthy-Slaughter in after he was spotted 30 yards out along the south end of Punaluu Beach. He was taken to the Kona Community Hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

Hit-and-run crash breaks boy's leg

Police want help finding a hit-and-run driver who struck a 14-year-old Kapolei boy on Saturday, leaving him with a broken left leg.

At 6:32 p.m., a Ford F-350 hit the boy on a skateboard in a crosswalk on Farrington Highway, 43 feet east of Waiomea Street, police said.

A witness walking behind the boy told police that they had the walk signal when the truck sideswiped the boy in the westbound direction and fled, police said.

Police said the pickup had a silver-colored engine crane device in the truck bed. The rearview mirror on the passenger side was damaged in the collision.

Anyone with information is asked to call the police Traffic Division at 529-3499 or CrimeStoppers at 955-8300 or *CRIME from a cellular phone.

Aiea woman dies in 1-car accident

A 76-year-old Aiea woman died last night following a single-car crash in Halawa Heights.

Police said the woman was making a right turn from Pualaa Street to Ulune Street in a 2008 Toyota at about 6 p.m. when she hit a retaining wall.

The woman was taken to the Queen's Medical Center in serious condition, but her condition worsened and she died at about 9 p.m. Police said the woman was wearing a seat belt and that speed, alcohol and drugs were not factors in the crash.

Marine arrested after vehicle crash

Police yesterday arrested a Kaneohe Marine who allegedly broke into a Kakaako business and crashed a stolen vehicle.

At about 4:30 a.m., the man, 19, allegedly scaled the roof of the business, entered an unlocked door, stole a vehicle in the warehouse and crashed it through the bay doors.

The man fled after hitting another vehicle outside the business, police said.

Police arrested him after a brief struggle and said he appeared intoxicated.

Man allegedly threatens officer

Police arrested a 23-year-old man yesterday who allegedly threatened to kill a police officer during a Waikiki brawl.

According to police, at about 4 a.m. a 27-year-old police officer witnessed 10 to 12 people fighting amid a crowd of up to 60 people fronting the Waikiki Trade Center at 2255 Kuhio Ave.

In an attempt to disperse the crowd, the police officer sprayed it twice with pepper spray. The suspect, who was hit by the spray, told the officer that he would “;murder”; him, police said. Police arrested the man, of no local address, on suspicion of first-degree terroristic threatening and harassment.


text:
Tuesday, March 5, 2013

DIY : For Girls

 hello everyone! It’s been a while since I posted some DIY for all of you. And right now I will throw some DIY for girls.

My DIY for today is from pants to shorts! Yes very mainstream but I actually put some design to create a stunning one. Hope you like it girls :)

My Tutorial consists of three parts!

 Make sure you will use your old jeans for this DIY ;) It’s more appropriate.

Always remember this girls!  the first thing you need is a great place where you can focus solely on your work and a pair of gloves in case you have a sensitive skin.

First Tutorial: Rolled-up Shorts
First step is to wear the pants. Put a mark by which you feels good to wear it, but you need to go a little bit longer because you will roll the end part. Take off the pants and lay it and cut it.

Fold each leg in half to match the opposite sides and mark.  Repeat for the other side. Roll-up the end part of the shorts and you could sew along the outside/inside seams if you want.

This is it “Rolled-up shorts”. I suggest that you should use a pants with good design for this tutorial. It totally helps.

Second (My favorite) tutorial : Acid Wash Shorts.

This is the next shorts! Read the above instructions on how you will cut perfectly the pants.

To give a few twists, wrap the rubber bands in the jeans. The effect can be controlled by the number of rubber bands tied in the jeans. But right now, I will use the Ombre effect!

Take a clean bucket add water and a bleaching agent. Soak your jeans for about 1 1/2 hours. The longer you soak the fabric the good the effect.

If you are satisfy with the effect untied the jeans, wash and dry as you normally do.

Yes! the shorts I used to soak is different. I’m sorry because I want to achieve the ombre effect. So I used the darker shorts instead of the above shorts here.

Third Tutorial: Tattered Shorts

This is very tricky as you need to carefully rip almost every inch and every part.

This is the Final Look :) Tattered/Ripped Shorts

Your Prince Are

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Oct 18, 2007

leTigre meets Jem and Mr. T.

In honor of Mean Dirty Pirate's
JemCon 2007, here's something I bookmarked months ago.

It's a video for one of my favorite songs, Deceptacon by LeTigre, as "done" by Jem and the Holograms:

just for fun, here's another homemade video of the same song, but as remixed by DFA:

Angel with a crooked halo said...

Glamour and glitter, fashion and fame- what more could we ask for?

Angel with a crooked halo said...

BTW- a quick search on ebay shows that
Jem and the Holograms - Season 3 Part One dvd costs the pretty 62.99 plus 10.00 shipping- why do I hear Patsy "Yes, but is it art Eddy?"

T$ said...

well...here goes:

"Tag - you're it!"

The Confessions Meme

thombeau said...


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The Marina del Rey Lessees Association has sent a letter to County Supervisor Don Knabe, opposing the proposed Waterfront mixed-use project at Admiralty Way and Palawan Way that would encompass the Harbor House, Edie’s Diner and an adjacent parking lot.

During a County Small Craft Harbor Commission meeting Thursday, July 9th, Stan Wisniewski, Los Angeles County Beaches and Harbors Department director, disclosed information about the letter, and said a rebuttal letter by the proposed developer — Waterfront-Marina del Rey, LLC — had also been sent to Knabe.

Lessees Association president David O. Levine and lessees association executive director Tim Riley said in their letter to Knabe that they had taken an “unprecedented step” in writing to Knabe after 15 years of working with the Department of Beaches and Harbors because they had voiced their concerns six months earlier to that department and County Regional Planning Department officials and felt their views hadn’t received consideration.

Waterfront-Marina del Rey, LLC is the developer that received conceptual support for a proposed mixed-use-development for these same parcels from the County Marina del Rey Design Control Board at a prior meeting.

The letter of rebuttal sent to Knabe by Edward Czuker, president of Waterfront-Marina del Rey, LLC, alleged that “fear of competition” by the lessees association was the rationale for opposing the project.

The Levine and Riley letter stated that opposition to the mixed-use project is based on “its massive scope and negative implications for redevelopment of surrounding parcels.”

The lessees association letter expressed “shock and concern” that the Los Angeles County Department of Beaches and Harbors is promoting the redevelopment of Parcels 33 — which contains the Harbor House Restaurant and Edie’s Diner — and Parcel NR — which contains a county-owned parking lot.

The Levine and Riley letter stated that the “Department of Beaches and Harbors has promoted other behemoth ‘catalytic’ projects which have failed because of aggressive overreaching beyond the parameters of the certified LCP (local coastal plan) and the county’s own asset management strategy.”

PROPOSED WATERFRONT PROJECT— The proposed Waterfront project would demolish Harbor House Restaurant and Edie’s Diner at Admiralty Way east of Palawan Way, and replace the buildings with 292 apartment units in an eight-story building and a four-story building, according to Waterfront documents.

As part of the project, an additional 125 apartments would be developed in three four-story buildings built on the adjoining county parking lot on Palawan Way.

The project is considered to be mixed-use, with retail stores on the ground floor of some of the buildings and a public viewing deck on the roof of the medium-height building.

The Levine and Riley letter alleges that the Waterfront project proposes an eight-story, 85-foot high building on the water, 292 apartment units and 30,400 square feet of office space.

LESSEES ASSOCIATION — The lessees association letter also claims that the height of the project would impact views for adjacent hotels such as the Marina del Rey International, the Marina del Rey Marriott and the Jamaica Bay Inn.

The lessees association letter states that the association represents the cross-section of active leasehold businesses in the Marina, and the association encourages the county to pursue parcel redevelopments that stimulate additional visitor-serving activities, such as terraced outdoor cafÈs, bistros and specialty retail, and limited commercial boating, such as sunset cruises.

“These parcels should complement and leverage the existing and proposed visitor-serving uses in the Mothers Beach area, and nighttime pedestrian activity,” the lessees association letter says.

The Marina needs this kind of activity to attract the overnight visitors who have gravitated to the shopping and dining districts of Santa Monica and Venice, the lessees association says.

CZUKER’S RESPONSE — Waterfront president states that the RFP (request for proposal) released in mid-2003 by the Beaches and Harbors Department contemplated a mixed-use project because “the county understood that no pure retail project was or is financially feasible for the parking lot parcel.”

All four responses to the RFP offered a mixed-use project, and “(the Beaches and Harbors Department) made certain all responders understood that an (amendment to the Marina del Rey Local Coastal Program) and California Coastal Commission approval of the project would be required,” said Czuker.

Czuker said his organization has offered to meet with the lessees association and all other interested parties, and that the lessees association never voiced opposition to the project when the proposal was before both the Small Craft Harbor Commission and the Marina del Rey Design Control Board.

Czuker asserts that the ground-level elements of the project are virtually all visitor-serving uses, restaurants, retail and a service office to be used for back office support of the restaurant, retail and apartment uses of the project, and for other small business visitor-serving uses.

The Waterfront-Marina project is entirely consistent with county goals of enlivening the Marina area, Czuker claimed.


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Essay Writing Business for Generating a Excellent Old fashioned paper
Friday April 15th 2016, 7:23 pm
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About Me

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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Southern Spice at Taj Coromandel

There comes a time in everyone's life when they deserve to feel special, when they get the Royal treatment. I guess my time was now. There I was walking into Taj Coromandel and stepping into the grand Southern Spice. It has been 4yrs or more since I was here last. Yes, Dec2008 I was practically living in the Taj [for an event], and morning breakfast those 3days was at Southern Spice. But the space I had walked into tonight resembled nothing like what I remember from my earlier visits. That is how the place had changed. It now reminded me of a royal ballroom, tall pillars, rich upholstery, cutlery that looked like it belonged in a palace and more.

We were directed to one of the private dining areas adorned with a long table, a beautiful piece of art on the ceiling and a piece on the wall displaying the various rulers of Karnataka, the Wodaiyars if I am right. We were greeted, seated and treated.

A brief round of introductions, a few words about the Maha virundhu that awaited us and the 1st of the dishes started coming to our plates. Oh wait, did I mention how beautiful the plates looked. Look at the pictures and you will know what I mean.

We were served dishes from across the regions down South, Karnataka, Kerala and Tamil Nadu, each one unique, each item distinct in flavour, appearance and textures.  We were told that the Chefs had scouted the regions extensively gathering recipes, sampling dishes and had chosen the finest of them all and incorporated them into the menu.

More than the food, more than the service, it was the entire experience that has us all enthralled. We couldnt get over how beautiful the whole evening was. We were served little idlis stuffed with raisins, banana dosa, lettuce with kosmalli in it, different kinds of vadams with an array of chutney and oh, how can I forget- the Mysore rasam [think we all had more than a helping of this]

South Indians are indeed known for their hospitality. And keeping with this tradition, the dedicated staff in the private dining area made sure our plates were never empty. After the appetizers, a plate with small bowls landed in front of us. Shimmering against the light, they were soon filled with gravy and vegetable curries, each one outdoing the other.

The highlight of the evening were Asparagus Paruppu usili, Edomame Kurma (Pookose urlai kurma), Zucchini thengai curry (Zucchini kaara poriyal), the light and flavour filled vegetable stew (Pachakari ishtew) and Channa gravy (Kadala gassi) . The non vegetarians had their share of delights as well. Each of the dishes had a South Indian touch but were unique. I would have never thought of making Asparagus usili, leave alone stir fry zucchini  with coconut.  We were served Aapam, Idiyappam, parotta for these dishes.

And somewhere during the conversation, Vodka came into the picture and there we were staring at shot glasses with curry leaf juice topped with vodka. It sure was zingy, taking us higher up. :-)

Wait, they were not done yet. Next came plain white rice, some ghee, a sprinkle of paruppu podi that was hard to resist. I loved it. There was also Arachivitta Sambar [a recipe from Chef Anand's home kitchen] and finally, there was the grand entry by the humble curd rice. We had the option of vetha kuzhambu, mor milagai vathal, and pickles for this finale... We were all stuffed. Before we knew it, we had managed to go through not 10 or 20, but nearly 30 dishes.

Now, it was time for desserts. After much pleading, the Chef gave in and served us a few portions of the 2 desserts that were part of the Maha virundhu. There was the delicate elaneer payasam - a recipe from the MRF Mammens' family served alongside a cup of Godhi-bella ice cream (banana jaggery wheat ice cream). And there was one more dessert- Belgian chocolate mousse cake filled with coconut and jaggery fiulling that oozed out when you cut into the mousse (Chocolate purnam mousse). What a pleasant surprise it was.

This Mahavirundu is fit for a King or a Queen. It is served to large groups who are looking at a beautiful experience, not just good food. Priced at Rs5000+ taxes, there are various other packages as well. If guests seek a meal with local wine, it is a different rate, international, and so on- you get the drift, right? ~!

As we bid the team Good night, the clock was ready to strike 12 and a new day awaited us around the corner. Where did the evening go? Next time you are in the mood for something Royal, you know where to head..

Taj Coromandel
37, Mahatma Gandhi Road
Chennai - 600 034
Tamil Nadu, India
Telephone: +91 44 6600 2827

The reviews posted on this blog are based on my personal experience. Also remember that restaurants and eat outs sometimes change with time, so does their food and service. So, kindly consider these factors while visiting the places. Remember, no two palates are the same. Bon Appétit  :-)

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Sprinkle some flavours so I'll know you were here!


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Best Link Ever: The Burger Foundation

by Paddy Johnson on July 26, 2013 Best Link Ever!

"The Burger Foundation is dedicated to the re-evaluation of the relationship between hamburgers and humans."

Michelle Ellsworth’s site doesn’t host a single embeddable video, and that may be the only reason more of us haven’t heard of her important work with the Burger Foundation. We recommend you peruse this site. What can we do to evolve the predictable relationship between burgers and humans? This foundation is seeking those answers. They’ve been compiling research on hamburgers, veggie burgers, faux burgers and gestures that represent burgers. They’ve been cataloguing the like too.

Yeah, you’re welcome.

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Catching Up With . . . Former Colts linebacker Dennis Gaubatz

  • Baltimore Colt Dennis Gaubatz is featured here on the cover of Life magazine, Dec. 13, 1968.
Baltimore Colt Dennis Gaubatz is featured here on the cover… (Taylor, Barbara, Baltimore…)
November 21, 2013|By Mike Klingaman, The Baltimore Sun

The letters keep coming, sometimes 20 a month asking for Dennis Gaubatz's autograph. Sometimes it's a football card that the old Colt receives. More often, it's the cover of one of the three national magazines on which Gaubatz appeared in his five years as the rugged middle linebacker on Baltimore's ballyhooed defense of the 1960s.

How many copies of Life and Sports Illustrated does he reckon he's signed?

"My gawd, I have no idea. But they just don't stop," said Gaubatz, 73, from his home in West Columbia, Texas. When a California firm offered to manage the signings, he declined.

"I've never charged fans for autographs and I'm not about to start," he said.

Thrust into the spotlight in 1965, when acquired by the Colts to replace the retired Bill Pellington, Gaubatz never flinched. At 25, the former LSU star immediately became the defensive signal caller for a team that would win an NFL championship and three division titles in the next four years.

With Gaubatz in the lineup, the Colts went 46-13-3 and reached the Super Bowl in 1969 where they were upset by the New York Jets, 16-7.

"Our defense put a lot of zeros on the board back then," he said. But 44 years later, the Super Bowl loss still sticks in his craw.

"It's like a hit in the stomach that you never get rid of," he once said.

Gaubatz did sack Jets' quarterback Joe Namath on a blitz, one of the few things Baltimore did right that day.

"As good as we were, the game had to be rigged," he said. "It wasn't on the up-and-up and you'll never tell me different."

Nor can Gaubatz explain how a player who made the cover of Sports Illustrated twice (1965 and 1968) and Life (1968) never made the Pro Bowl.

"That, I don't understand," he said. "I wasn't a showboat. I was brought up to do my job, to take the praises when they come but not to ask for them.

"As the saying goes, if life gives you a Tootsie Roll, you eat it. If it gives you a Cadillac, you drive it.

"All I got were the Tootsie Rolls."

Not that he's complaining. The deal that brought Gaubatz from the Detroit Lions in exchange for aptly-named running back Joe Don Looney suited him all around. He bought a Sunoco station on Edison Highway and banded with the tight-knit team.

"In Detroit, after a game, players scattered like quail. In Baltimore, everyone was one big family," he said. "We'd all meet up at Artie Donovan's Country Club, or Pellington's restaurant, or Johnny Unitas' Golden Arm, or maybe we'd make the rounds of all three. There were liable to be 30 players there."

In 1968, Baltimore poet Ogden Nash celebrated the Colts' Super Bowl run by saluting the players in verse. The cover of Life shows an airborne Gaubatz set to pounce like a lion on a PBS special. Of the linebacker, Nash wrote:

Look at Number 53 / Dennis Gaubatz, that is he / looming 10 feet tall or taller / above the Steelers' signal caller / Since Gaubatz acts like this on Sunday / I'll do my quarterbacking Monday.

Two years later, miffed at losing his job to Mike Curtis, Gaubatz requested a trade to Washington but was cut by the Redskins and quit the game. Now retired from a construction job with Dow Chemical, he lives in the town he grew up in with his wife, Carolyn. Married 54 years, they have four children, eight grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.

Money is tight. Four years ago, Gaubatz said, he declared bankruptcy "but the increased NFL pension helps and we're gradually getting our heads above water. My 13-year-old truck is still running and I shot me a deer this morning. I play a lot of dominoes with friends for $2 a game. On a good day, I might win $12."

Football, he said, undermined his health: both knees and hips have been replaced.

"I can walk, but if I step on something the size of a bb I get real sharp pains," he said. "I'm paying for having played the game, but I'd do it again in a second because I loved it and the fans in Baltimore.

"I wouldn't have to think twice."

Baltimore Sun Articles
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Legislator Supports Truck Rerouting Plan

July 19, 1989

ELMHURST — State Sen. Beverly Fawell (R., Glen Ellyn) has thrown her support behind a state proposal to prohibit trucks from using North Avenue east of Ill. Hwy. 83 in Elmhurst. Fawell, whose district includes part of Elmhurst, said Monday she formerly was on the board of a family-owned trucking company.

Most truckers using North Avenue in Elmhurst`s residential section do not want to go through Elmhurst, Fawell said. ``If there is an easy way to bypass Elmhurst, truckers would be more than happy to do so. Elmhurst just slows them up.``

The proposal, a $35-million project to reroute trucks to Lake Street, Ill. 83, the Eisenhower Expressway extension and Roosevelt, Butterfield and St. Charles Roads, is under study by the Illinois Department of

Transportation, the agency and the city announced last week.

Officials of nearby towns that would be affected by rerouted truck traffic have expressed opposition and concerns about the proposal.


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Bit Of Chicago History Written In Canada: Shedd Gets Its Whales

July 30, 1989|By William Mullen, Chicago Tribune.

CHURCHILL, MANITOBA — Bill Braker looked suddenly pleased as he sat at the front of a 16-foot aluminum fishing boat puttering down the Churchill River.

The director of Chicago`s John G. Shedd Aquarium is a man who has not had a great deal to smile about this summer. But when asked if he felt he had added a bit to Chicago`s history Friday afternoon, he broke into a sunny grin. ``Why, yes,`` he said quietly. ``Yes, I think we wrote a little history today.``

Twenty yards to his right, a green wooden fishing boat carried a young gray Beluga whale in a blue vinyl sling.

It was the first whale ever collected by the Shedd, the first whale collected for its new 170,000-square-foot Oceanarium.

Braker had arrived in Churchill only four hours earlier, a scant two days after the Canadian government had granted the Shedd a permit to collect whales at this northern, sub-Arctic tundra outpost.

With the whale, a 900-pound, 8-foot 9-inch-long adolescent female, safely in hand, the Shedd had its start in stocking the world`s largest, most elaborate indoor living whale exhibit.

Saturday afternoon, the first whale was joined by a second one, an adolescent female Beluga 8-foot 6-inch long and also weighing about 900 pounds.

Getting the first two whales had been something of an ordeal for Braker, who has harbored a dream of the Oceanarium for 20 years. Animal-rights groups in the United States and Canada this summer launched a campaign to block the Shedd`s acquisition of any whale specimens. They charged that keeping large marine mammals such as Belugas in captive pools is inhumane.

Using political pressure, the rights groups succeeded in getting the Canadian government to deny the Shedd its permit request to collect Belugas earlier this summer in Churchill.

The Shedd appealed, however, and Canadian officials Wednesday reconsidered and granted the permit, though only for two whales, rather than the three the Shedd had requested.

As soon as the permit was granted, Braker assembled a six-person team from the Shedd and headed for Churchill. There they linked up with a crew of Inuit Indian whalers who have perfected the techniques of capturing Belugas in the Churchill River.

The Indian whalers, by virtue of Canadian treaty rights, are the only people allowed to hunt the Belugas. For the last 22 years, they have collected every live Beluga specimen in the world-55 of them, counting the Shedd`s two whales.

This weekend`s expedition was carried out virtually without flaw. Though local authorities and Shedd officials were concerned that protesters might try to disrupt the collection, only two appeared and then only as observers.

The wide and shallow Churchill River, which empties into the Hudson Bay just north of the town, is aboil with thousands of Belugas at this time of year.

The adult Belugas, which grow to 14 feet and often weigh a ton, sport blindingly white skin and swim elegantly along the river`s surface, popping out rhythmically like white-capped waves.

Soon after Braker`s arrival at Churchill, he anxiously got the collection expedition underway. He and Jim Robinett, Shedd`s curator of mammals, decided that they wanted to take two adolescent females. They hope to return next year to capture a male Beluga to round out their collection and to try to breed them in the Oceanarium.

``Younger whales are easier to acclimate to captivity,`` Braker explained. ``And by taking adolescent females, we are assuring ourselves of not taking any pregnant or lactating mothers.``

The Inuit whalers made their captures much as cowboys cull out herds of cattle at roundup time. They scoured the river in their small fishing boats looking for capture candidates. Once they located one, they used their boats to nudge it toward shallow water.

Once in shallow water, the lead whaler, standing on the bow of his boat, leapt on the back of the whale, slipping a rope around its body. Another whaler leapt on the whale`s tail, its primary source of locomotion, to immobilize it.

The whale was then placed in the heavily padded sling and taken on to a transport boat. It was returned to Churchill, where it was placed in a temporary holding pool.

The two newly captured whales will be given a battery of physical tests. Once they pass the physicals, probably this week, they will be flown from Churchill to the aquarium at Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma, Wash. They will be held there until the Beluga habitat is operational at Shedd Oceanarium next summer.

At the $43 million Oceanarium, the Belugas will live in a 400,000-gallon pool, with nine times the volume required by federal guidelines for keeping three adult Belugas.

With 20,000 of them in western Hudson Bay alone, the Beluga is not an endangered species.

Later this year, Shedd will go either to Japan or Hawaii to collect false killer whales, a slightly larger species than the Beluga. They eventually will be placed in the Oceanarium`s main 2-million-gallon pool.


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Schools May Drop Computer Contract

July 14, 1990

DARIEN — The Cass Elementary School District 63 board is ``entertaining the idea`` of dropping its contract with its computer systems vendor because of continued computer service problems, Supt. Robert Leli said.

Although Leli said he does not put the entire burden of the district`s computer woes on Glen Ellyn-based Entre Computer Center, he said the district has had problems with Entre since the start of its two-year contract last year.


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Ripken Not Just Your Everyday Ballplayer

April 07, 1991|By Marc Topkin, St. Petersburg Times.

When the Orioles` Jeff Ballard faces off Opening Day against the White Sox`s Jack McDowell, he`ll be there. He`ll be there just as he has been for every game Baltimore has played since May 30, 1982.

Cal Ripken Jr. is 30 now, with a little less hair across his brow and a little more gray on the sides, but little else seemingly changed.

He`s still among the American League`s elite shortstops. He remains the catalyst for the Orioles, who play host to the Sox Monday afternoon. He continues to display the same boyish enthusiasm for the game he had when first he suited up as a pro 11 years ago.

He also retains this basic conviction: If there`s a game to be played, he should be in it.

Ripken enters the season having played in 1,411 consecutive games, a streak that is the second longest in history.

If he continues, he would surpass Lou Gehrig`s iron-man mark of 2,130 games in mid-1995.

The streak sometimes has been a burden to Ripken, often the first thing people ask about and the last thing he wants to talk about. Because of the streak, Ripken has been subjected to criticism, to charges of selfishness and to unsolicited advice he could make everything better if he would just take a day off.

The volume of dissent rose last season when Ripken was struggling to hit .200 and was dropped to sixth in the batting order. He finished with a career-low .250 and tied his lowest home-run total of 21.

But he remains sure he knows what is best.

``I personally think it`s good to go out there and want to play every day,`` Ripken said. ``It`s not something where I go out and play because of the streak.

``I think it`s a reflection of how I approach the game. I`ve always been one to want to be in on the action, always been one to want to play. I come to the ballpark ready to play. I don`t look ahead, and I don`t look behind. I just say, `There`s a game today, and I`m going to be in there.` ``

That has been Ripken`s intention all along. He grew up in the game, the son of a career baseball man who remains one of his coaches. Cal Jr. said he never planned to play every day (he didn`t in the minor leagues) or to set any kind of longevity record.

``People think it`s solely a selfish thing-you`re doing it, you`re putting that above everything else-and that`s totally wrong. Totally wrong.

``To me, it`s only a reflection of approach. It`s not that I have to play in these games, that I`m chasing Lou Gehrig, that I`m doing this or doing that. That`s not it at all.``

The criticism, a ``dissection`` of his game, is, in his view, unwarranted.

``If someone sat down and guaranteed me my production would be better if I did that, I`d be stupid not to take time off,`` Ripken said.

``Not only would I be helping myself, but I would be helping the team. But that`s not particularly the case. Whatever problems you have are different from year-to-year-production levels, statistics. I believe the first place not to look is how many games you play.``

Baltimore management has been fully supportive. Would manager Frank Robinson consider benching a healthy Ripken under any circumstances?

``No sir,`` Robinson said.

``He did not have Cal Ripken-type numbers (last year). But to relate it to the streak, I don`t buy that. His problem last year was mechanical. He didn`t do things at the plate to allow him to hit the way he`s capable of.``

While Ripken struggled with the bat, he sparkled with the glove. He established major-league marks by playing 95 consecutive errorless games and compiled a .996 fielding percentage (three errors, two of them on throws, in 681 chances in 161 games).

``I saw it, and I still don`t believe it,`` Robinson said. ``He never let any part of his game affect another part.``

Orioles General Manager Roland Hemond said that with skeptics frequently accusing players of skipping games with minor injuries and for less-than-legitimate reasons, Ripken should be appreciated more.

``When he`s the greatest example of how players should go about his profession, why should we do anything to discourage what he`s accomplished?

``We strongly encourage his approach to the game.``

There`s more than just the streak. Ripken is a true professional, a team leader and a tremendous example, Robinson said.

``As far as I know, he never has missed infield practice. So what? Just think about what that means, all those hundreds of ground balls.``

Eventually, Robinson said, Ripken will have to slow down and conserve energy. To that end, Robinson limited Ripken`s spring training innings.

Ripken even showed some slight signs of acquiescing to this concept last season. He left 11 games before the final out, something he had done only eight times in previous years.

``It`s almost like he was apologizing to take an inning off,`` Robinson said.

During the streak, Ripken has played in 13,826 of 13,887 innings, 99.6 percent.

Ripken said he could start picking his days off, skipping games against the likes of Roger Clemens and Nolan Ryan, ``and you might instantly be cutting an 0 for 40 off the year.``

``But I don`t believe in that. That`s not the way you should approach the game.``

He just wants to come to the park each day ready to play.

``I don`t look at (the streak) ending,`` Ripken said, ``and I didn`t look at it beginning.``

When the streak started, the British were fighting for the Falklands, U.S. senators were in trouble over the Abscam probe and Rocky was preparing for bout III.

When will it end? Even Ripken doesn`t know.

``I`d say if I got injured and couldn`t contribute, but I can`t envision saying that`s how the streak will end. Maybe one day for some other reason I`ll come to the ballpark and don`t feel I can do it.

``I`d like to think I`m honest enough with myself-that`s the only one you have to be honest with-and say I can`t do it, and that would be it.``