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Friday, February 25, 2011

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." [111 John verse 4.]

It goes without saying that walking according to what is truth is important. But where do you find the truth? Truth, as I'm using it here, [There are at least nine legitimate definitions in the English language.] would be best thought of as a statement that describes reality. Whether a statement is referring to something that exists or something that has happened or even the truth about an idea, that statement must correspond to reality for it to be truth according to my definition.

It is a simple fact that the purpose and value of truthful statements is that they are intended to reveal reality. An inaccurate statement is false, not truth, and would lead one away from any comprehension of what is reality. But truth, by definition, is an accurate statement that describes what is actual reality.

It is also important to remember that truth is NOT the reality itself. It is simply an accurate statement of the reality. So you can see I'm making a distinction between "truth" and "reality."

Does the world in which we live present us with reality? There are various voices in the world that are making statements which claim to be declaring truth about what is real. But are they truthful? Should we believe them? Are those human voices making statements accurately presenting reality in this world in which we live? I think not!!

My reasoning is based on the simple fact that none of them were there when it all started and the only knowledge any one person can have of reality is what they have by virtue of simply being a human being. That means they know only what they have experienced through their encounters with the world as they have gathered data, sought it's meaning, and assumed a conclusion. That is limited from the outset.

Then, add to that the fact that their own motivations, biases, and other things of a personal nature, highly influence their understanding regarding the reality of the world they've encountered. So one must conclude, it seems to me, that all human sources for truth are limited in scope and highly subjective. Knowing this makes it vividly clear, to me at least, why fallen humanity has produced only self-centered false statements while trying to describe a reality that that winds up being totally inaccurate at the very best.

I read where someone said.."Like the Matrix, in the movie by that name, sin has created a virtual reality for our world to live in. But it does not describe the reality which God created." That says it all when speaking about human ideas of reality in my judgment. We wind up as the scripture puts it.."The blind leading the blind."

Well, if human sources for truth are subjective and unreliable, creating a virtual reality about this world, where does one find a RELIABLE truth? This is the reason I personally believe the Bible to be worthy of consideration as a source of truth concerning reality. If it is, as I believe it to be, God’s Word, then we have a source of truth that is from the Creator Himself.

Who better would know what this world is like than the One who was there at it's making? And should He chose to reveal truth in the scriptures, [Which are His statements about His Son and how life relates in reality to Him.] it would be, for me, a needed and reliable source of truth about reality.

However, I do believe God has warned us as to the nature of His truth about reality and it is not something that is easy for us to comprehend. After all, our minds have been programmed by the world’s view of reality since birth, and when we are convinced that what we've heard from the world is truth, it’s hard to consider it to be, in fact, lies. You see the problem.

Here's how God Himself says it. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:9)

To understand this verse it would be helpful, as I once read, to think of the thoughts of a people as being the source of their values and the ways of a people as being the methods by which they implement those values. It could be said then that the sum total of values and methods make up the given culture of a people.

Accepting this concept, what God is saying in the above quoted verse is that He has a totally different culture (values and methods) than that of human beings and it's radically different from any culture you will EVER find in this world. Our hope as fallen humanity is in recognizing there is a Kingdom culture that exists that is beyond our comprehension until we hear, understand, and embrace the truth from God as stated in the reality of Jesus Christ, His Only Begotten Son.

When Kingdom people begin to see this, our minds will give up on the world's understanding of how to live life and embrace the truth from God about it all. Gone will be slick management skills, psychological ploys and financial techniques that are said to really be the way to experience life and what will arise will be a biblical wisdom that will radically change the way we relate to even our enemies, much less each other. This will enable God's people to be a radical people of "The Way" in REALITY instead of just another variation of the cultures of the world. It's called Real Christianity.

So you can see that once we've given up on the truth of the world and decide to walk according to God’s truth, we will discover and personally encounter a biblical description of reality that is vastly different from the reality being described by Man’s truth. It is that kind of truthful thinking that will lead to TRANSFORMED lives as opposed to just another religious belief system that occupies the minds of fallen human beings and creates a set of values and methods that are really simply a variation of other religious groups.

It is not easy to walk by God’s truth because it is so different from this world’s truth. It centers on that One Person that transforms every thing and every one He genuinely touches in reality. For the one walking in this truth it gives place to a grace-filled servanthood that is hilariously free of a fear of death and is, at the same time, seriously committed to the living of life to it's very fullest. That life is characterized by a love that defies logic and crosses every established boundary of fallen man.

To then love the world would be to miss reality and this they will not do. This chosen submissive way of thinking about His statements concerning REALITY will bring about a lifestyle that was intended from the very beginning for mankind.

We will delight the Father because of the truth of His Son who is real to us and we WILL, in reality, walk in that truth.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

It seems to me that it is a simple biblical fact that God does not hold America in any higher esteem than He does the other nations on the earth. It is true that God sends His rain upon the just and the unjust, [Common Grace referred to in the last post]] but America is no more "just" than is England, Germany, or China. We may have a better system of government. [We do IMHO] We may have more fairness in our laws. [Ditto] We may have more religion in our national life. [Hmmm maybe] But none of these things are the basis of being “Justified" before a Holy God.

In fact, I tend to think all the righteousnesses [Good deeds] of ANY nation are viewed before a holy God the same as the righteous deeds of all the human race which are scripturally said to be as "filthy rags." To be justified biblically [Declared Just] takes a faith relationship with Christ. So it is true that Americans can be Christian by the biblical definition of Christian. But a Nation, even America, cannot. [This because "Christian" speaks of relationship NOT Institutions or beliefs or even deeds.]

May I say parenthetically...This same reasoning is why I believe it would be fair to ALSO say there is no such thing as Christian music or Christian literature and the like. There are Christians who sing or write literature just as there are Christians who are citizens of America. But I repeat, being a Christian has to do with a personal relationship with Christ, NOT a system of beliefs held or a system of laws based on a belief in God or even good deeds done. The fact that we don't seem to know this may indicate that we are perhaps more engaged in our day in "Christian Institution building" than we are "Kingdom building."

It is also true that we Christians are to be light and salt to any national community [Even America] in which we may live. But, and here is an important but, that is NOT to be in a politically confrontational way. Our calling AS CHRISTIANS is clearly to NOT have our faith placed in better laws, the correction of injustices through the courts or even through the election process. Fair and just laws are good for ANY nation and as a citizen we should vote for them and OBEY THEM. But as Christ's ambassadors, our hope is in the One who is above all governments and we have NOT been called to heal the moral wounds of a society that has been fatally wounded from it's beginnings as all societies are. But we ARE called to proclaim the gospel which speaks of every person's need to be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20).

There is only one hope that we as believers have that can possibly bring about a correction in any moral collapse of any society in which we may live, including America, and that is to trust that God will work through our witness by saving those with whom we share the gospel. Changing an unbeliever's political views or bringing about a moral revolution in a community does not improve anyone's standing before God. It is certainly not a means to His special favor or blessing on a nation as a whole. It is the heart that needs regeneration and changed, not one's political or moral views, even if those views embrace the Preamble and Constitution of the U. S. of A.

I said earlier that fair and just laws are good for ANY nation and as a citizen we should vote for them and OBEY THEM. The passage of the civil rights act of 1964 [Enacted July 2, 1964] was a landmark piece of legislation in the United States that outlawed major forms of discrimination against blacks and women, including racial segregation. It ended unequal application of voter registration requirements and racial segregation in schools, at the workplace and of the facilities that serve the general public. Our history up to that point evidenced the need of such legislation. But our history since then shows the failure of even that just and needed legislation. Things may be a bit better but as a nation we still have and will always have much work to do in battling evil because it is a losing battle actually.

The battle is truly won in those who DO respond to the gospel as they discover themselves to be united with another nation of people which is of a heavenly order. They then can live as such REGARDLESS of the failures or successes of ANY laws of ANY present culture or society. True citizens of the true "Holy nation" [The true Church] will actually be what scripture calls "salt and light" which are both needed in any nation on earth.

As citizens of this new "Holy Nation," [The Church] I believe that we certainly will do battle against all kinds of evil. But our ways and weapons are different. To show how we might wage warfare as we live in our own American culture I'm going to make three statements about present day issues we face nationally that I think indicate a presence of evil and how we might face them as salt and light. [It will ALWAYS be important to remember our weapons of warfare as Christians are not carnal but spiritual]

To do battle against racism...we would lead the way with concrete acts of kindness, inclusion, and love. All the time building relationships with every kind of person regardless of their race or color. I am speaking of things such as a refusal to recognize any limitations on marriage or church membership locally BECAUSE of skin color. This way of living was forgotten by many Christians as I was growing up as evidenced by local churches taking African-Americans into their fellowship, not as members, [Even if membership roles were to be biblical which I doubt] but under a dubious term called "Watchcare." Real Salt and light living would not have permitted that. All the time being mindful of the gospel being shared effectively with life and words. [We won't at present deal with the failure of light and salt people prior to and even since the Civil war.]

This would be regardless of the civil laws for or against racism.

To do battle on behalf of the poor... The Church would support the GENUINE needs of widows, orphans, and others who CANNOT provide for themselves, such as women being abused, and we would take seriously such things by making certain they are not permitted to exist unchallenged legally, morally, AND spiritually. We would open our hearts, wallets, and even homes to care for the poor and needy, [James 1:27] spending time with those who are unable to provide for themselves. All the time being mindful of the gospel being share effectively with life and words.

This would be regardless of the civil laws for or against the poor and needy and the abused.

To do battle against abortion... we would open our hearts and homes to pregnant women who don't need a "pro-life lecture, but a roof, a meal, and prenatal care, as well as become homes where adoption is a reality. The Church's concern would address the protection of our children even AFTER their womb experience is over by making certain that ANY child abuse is taken seriously by the people that make up the Church. All the time being mindful of the gospel being shared effectively with life and words.

This would be regardless of the civil laws for or against such abortion.

These are but a few of the practical ways believers are to demonstrate the love of Christ instead of our becoming objects of ridicule by constantly engaging in negative rhetoric about how bad our society is and thinking our government is the answer to any and all human needs. This is recognizing our weapons of warfare that go beyond the making of laws and confronting a culture. We are to "be" something different regardless of the cultures or laws that exist.

What has just been described would truly be light and salt to ANY nation. THEN trying to decide if America IS Christian would be a moot issue. Are there any Christians in America would be the question!! If the answer is "yes" they would be what salt is, a preservative which can keep decay from spreading and they would also be light which can show the way to go in the midst of darkness. That's always the result of being REALLY Christian.

Paul B.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I write what I'm about to say with a great deal of sensitivity to the fact that many people may disagree with my conclusions. I recognize that and respect those who do disagree. Some of those will be members of my own family. This was true in the post before as well. I believe friends and even family members may disagree respectfully and lovingly and that is certainly the desire of my heart on this issue.

Patriotism is by it's very nature a bit emotional and I wish to "tread lightly" here because of that fact. I hope what I say will be heard as personal, respectful, and open to opinions that differ with mine. I'm no scholar, theologian, or even an historian for that matter. I'm just a guy with a blog who has studied to some degree the bible, history, and people with much to learn about all three. That all said, I think I'll just dive in.

There is a widely held view of America today that says she was founded as a "Christian nation." This is generally said because of the belief that our nation was founded on biblical principles originally and most of the Founders had a faith in God at the time. And, as a result of our beginning, America holds a special place in the heart of God. His blessings have been upon us in the past in a greater way than perhaps any other nation with the possible exception of Israel.

In the mind of those who hold this view, America has indeed lost her way and needs to return to the God upon on whom she was founded. His blessings will not continue to be upon her if she doesn't. Returning to God would cause America to thrive, but a failure to do so would be her downfall.

Now here is the hard part. I have to say, from the outset, that I disagree with this view completely. Remember, I’ve already talked of my genuine love for America as a citizen in the previous post. What I will say today will only enhance that I hope and will show that my love for her cannot be legitimately questioned.

I DO believe our beginnings were founded upon a belief in God and our Founders sought to fulfill the views of Sir William Blackstone (The Eminent English Jurist) who said. "Man must necessarily be subject to the laws of his Creator. This will of his Maker is called the law of nature. This law of nature is of course superior to any other. No human laws are of any validity, if contrary to this: and such of them as are valid derive all their force from this original." But is this the Christian faith? That is the question to be answered.

Our Founding Fathers sought to establish a system of government and a society that reflected the reality of that "law of nature" [Natural Law] spoken of by Wm. Blackstone. Our Constitution undergirds the idea that those rights natural to all men are not "granted" by a government or society but they established our government of laws (not a government of men) in order to "secure" each person's Creator-endowed rights to life, liberty, and property in this country. I, for one, most certainly have a desire for our country to continue to be a free society that respects the dignity and the rights of all citizens in that free society.

I'm further grateful that America was founded BY the people and FOR the people with the people always in mind and said so in those fabulously special words that take their form in the Preamble to the Constitution..."We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

This somewhat simple yet profound introduction to the Constitution of this country says it all. The Constitution then explains how the Preamble will be accomplished with the division of government and the guidelines for our society. This nation IS nothing short of special. But she is not a "Christian" nation and certainly is not SPECIAL to God because of that.

If one's definition of "Christian nation" is simply that our Founders recognized the bible as a source book for the existence of the Creator who established natural law..then one could say America is a Christian nation. But that neither correctly defines Christianity nor clearly states the intent of out founders. America is not special to God BECAUSE she is "Christian" by a truly biblical definition of "Christian."

It is true that there once WAS a special nation to God. Once, Israel enjoyed God's special favor over all other nations. This was NOT because she was more righteous than the other nations, but so she could provide a lineage that would ultimately produce the Messiah Himself. When Jesus Christ appeared, Israel, having fulfilled that purpose, was then replaced with another very special nation.

That new very “SPECIAL” nation in the present day is not ANY nation that has geographical boundaries, including America. It is, as Jon Zens says, “The aggregate of believers who have been called out by the gospel FROM ALL NATIONS and are now identified as a chosen race, a royal priesthood, A HOLY NATION, [My emphasis] a people for God's own possession. (1 Peter 2:9)

In this NEW and FAVORED nation that exists today there are no differences among her citizens along national, racial, gender or social lines. The scripture says it this way speaking of her citizens... "They are neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female...” Her citizens are not divided along political parties either. Her citizens can found in EVERY nation on earth and are united as brothers and sisters together because of their relationship to Jesus Christ. “All are one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28).” You may biblically call her the "Church," the "Bride of Christ," The Body of Christ" and even a "Holy Nation" as does the Apostle Peter. But she is the ONLY Christian NATION that has existed over the past Two thousand years.

A fact that is difficult to understand sometimes is that, according to the scriptures, ALL of God’s "special" blessings are reserved only for those who are part of this new "Holy Nation.” This is because they have been "accepted in the Beloved." (Ephesians 1:6) That verse reveals that God only "accepts" people who are said to be "In Christ."

It is true that His grace is given to some degree to all people of the earth in what was called by the Puritans "Common Grace." This "common grace" is indeed extended to all peoples of all nations in many incredible ways by a gracious God. This has been especially true, it would seem to me, of America. But His SPECIAL favor and blessings are reserved for those who have accepted Jesus Christ because of what He did on the Cross of Calvary.

It is THIS that brings about a true relationship with God. That relationship is neither based on things that are on earth nor things done politically or socially on the earth. That is simply not the basis for knowing and relating to God. Paul said it this way, "We have been blessed with All spiritual blessings in heavenly realities in Christ Jesus." [Eph.1:3] It takes something that is real BEYOND this world and it's political systems whatever those may be for God to be involved in relating to fallen human beings. This story of the need all men and the nature of Christ and His work at Calvary is what the gospel is all about.

I say again, it IS historically accurate to say that in one sense America was founded on what could be called a Theistic world-view [Natural Law] and that Christianity was, in fact, the major religious influence in that world-view at that time. Pointing this fact out is not a bad thing and is historically correct. But to call it "Christian" does a disservice to both Christianity and some of our Founding Fathers.

Some would argue using valid historical moments such as the United States Supreme Court when in 1892 that court made an exhaustive study of the supposed connection between Christianity and the government of the United States.  After researching hundreds volumes of historical documents, the Court concluded...”These references [The studied historical documents] add a volume of unofficial declarations to the mass of other utterances that this nation [America] is a religious people...a Christian nation.”

Then there was the time when our Supreme Court Justice George Sutherland reversed an 1892 decision in relation to another case and, as he did, he is quoted to have said, "Americans are “a Christian people.” Even Justice William O. Douglas came close to saying that with a similar idea when in 1952 he said... “We [Americans] are a religious people and our institutions presuppose a Supreme Being.”

But I would remind us all that what was quoted from history in the last two paragraphs is speaking to a RELIGIOUS DISPOSITION and is not a reflection of biblical Christianity at all. Biblical Christianity is based upon a personal faith in the person and finished work of the Lord Jesus Christ. Even many of our Founding fathers were far from that biblical reality personally. But they assisted in the founding of our great country too. light of all this, There are four things I wish to say to summarize what this means for believers who are also earthly citizens. but it will be done in the next post. These four things will bottom line how I view the way we as believers are to be different BECAUSE we are citizens of this new and "Holy Nation" [The Church] while at the same time citizens of America.

I would be saying the same thing were I to be writing for an audience of Christians located in Germany, Iran, China or any other nation on earth. Biblically, it is described as being Salt and light to whatever society or culture or nation in which we find ourselves as believers. We shall see this next time.

Paul B.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Now for something different.

I need to admit from the outset that I’m writing here as a citizen of the good old USA and not as a minister. In other words, this post is political in nature and I recognize that. [I never use the pulpit for political purposes.] I recognize also that we all have differing views about political issues. I’m not sure there is a “right” or “wrong” in such things, but I do believe civility in disagreement is both Christian AND a requirement for comments to remain up on this blog. Now that the needed disclaimers are stated, I’ll begin with my somewhat tentative thoughts.

Multiculturalism is a problem in this country and many modern countries that now face immigration problems. It may perhaps be the biggest problem any pluralistic society can face. How a society resolves the difficulties associated with...1) The desire to maintain a distinction some cultural minority communities might obviously have..and.. 2) our encouragement to and need for them to socially integrate with us all as a society... is not an easy thing to resolve. But it is a tension we must face and talk about whatever the difficulties.

It is my firm conviction personally, that, as one Educator of note put it, “The former [A need to maintain a distinction] is a private matter for the individuals of communities involved and the latter [Our need for them to socially integrate] is the only legitimate concern of public education in this country.” It is that conviction which produced so much anguish when the before mentioned Educator spoke those words over twenty years ago in England and was, subsequently, forced to retire and was charged to be a racist, among other things.

In giving a report for “The Telegraph” concerning that Educator, a UK paper a group of reporters jointly produced a lengthy article about a Mr Honeyford, the Headmaster of Drummand Middle School, and I quote...“He [Mr.Honeyford] thought that schools, such as his own, where 95 per cent of the children were of Pakistani or Bangladeshi origin, were a disaster both for their pupils and for society as a whole. He was a passionate believer in the redemptive power of education, and its ability to integrate people of different backgrounds and weld them into a common society. He then became notorious for, among other things, his insistence that Muslim girls should be educated to the same standard as everyone else.” The reporters went on to say..."Mr. Honeyford seems to have been vindicated this week by what British Prime Minister David Cameron said last weekend in Munich...'Multiculturalism has failed,"

My opinion only, but I’m not so sure but that “multiculturalism” has taken root in different societies because people have been led to believe that it is really synonymous with multiracialism and/or pluralism. [It is not, as I think of it.] So, for obvious reasons if that's true, anybody who criticizes "multiculturalism" is immediately held to be a "racist" and has been thought of that way for the past twenty-five or so years.

I am personally opposed to and would not stand for the promotion of a racially discriminatory society. Racism is evil and anti-scriptural for me. I would oppose any societal laws that would promote/permit it in any fashion. At the same time an ethnically pluralistic society is a very good thing as I see it. I believe it enables us to celebrate our roots, when they are known, and is very important for a healthy lifestyle. But being opposed to "multiculturalism" as it is being practiced today is, as I said, neither "racism" nor "antipluralistic" for me.

I mentioned a moment ago that the British Prime Minister [Mr David Cameron became the PM on May 11th 2010] recently spoke out against "multiculturalism." I read Mr. Cameron's speech and it looks to me like he clearly articulated the basic problem with present day “Multiculturalism.” He said it this way... "Under the doctrine of state multiculturalism, we have encouraged different cultures to live separate lives, apart from each other and the mainstream. We have failed to provide a vision of a society to which they feel they want to belong. WE HAVE EVEN TOLERATED THESE SEGREGATED COMMUNITIES BEHAVING IN WAYS THAT RUN COUNTER TO OUR VALUES." [Emphasis mine]

I want to give an example which will demonstrate the problem. In England a Muslim bus driver stopped the bus and required the passengers to wait as he rolled out the his prayer rug and, facing Mecca, prayed for five minutes. His employers said that he was due a ten minute break therefore he was not disciplined and retained his job.

But my problem with him retaining his bus driving job is that, adapting to his requirement to pray five times a day, which seems to run counter to the job of bus driving, is the EMPHESIS instead of the socially significant legal rights of the passengers. And, the fact that racial or religious profiling was the claim that ultimately led to that society's inability to require that he cease driving the bus. Further, no laws could be enacted that would restrict that job to those who can drive uninterrupted. There we have it. The problem that must be faced.

Lest you think I’m picking on Muslims, let me get closer to home. Say a Southern Baptist family holds to a patriarchal system in the home. [The man is boss and women cannot lead men as it violates scripture.] But they have sons in High school. They COULD, on what they would see as biblical grounds, REFUSE to allow their teenage boys to be under a female teacher in the high school they attend. Or, for that matter, were that high school to have a female Principal, since there would be male teachers that would be under her authority, it would ALSO create a situation that would be less than tolerable. This is a problem not unlike praying five times a day facing Mecca. What principle rule the day?

My illustrations are ONLY for the purpose of pointing out how difficult it is to create a society that allows for individual freedoms and cultures [Pluralism] But ALSO be able to have workable laws that do not allow for one small [Or even large] group to control the freedoms that have been recognized under the unique culture [America] already created. This is true however, whether the society is England, Germany, Chile, or America.

This is why I believe things like a common language, [English] a common flag, [Old Glory] a common set of societal laws, [State and Federal] an educational system, and a court system [State and Federal] are so important. This is the reason I believe much debate and thoughtfulness must go into what we face as an American society in the days ahead. But our conversation must major on what we are to be as Americans based on our Constitution and heritage culturally with due respect and openness to people of other cultures joining us. But when they CHOOSE to join us it must be seen as more than a new geographical locale. It must be seen as a willingness to become ...."An American."

Paul B.

Update...I just read this significant statement by Douglas Murray of The Wall Street Journal. I believe it speaks to my post.

"Multiculturalism is a deeply misunderstood idea... But the true character and effects of the policy could not be permanently hidden. State-sponsored multiculturalism treated European countries like hostelries. It judged that the state should not "impose" rules and values on newcomers. Rather, it should bend over backwards to accommodate the demands of immigrants. The resultant policy was that states treated and judged people by the criteria of whatever "community" they found themselves born into."

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Christians and Conflict

Civility is what I always wish for on this blog. Wade Burleson, our son, posted an EXCELLENT post a long while back on this subject that I'm reposting here. Read carefully and enjoy the wisdom of what is said.

Pursue the Greater Graces and the Greatest Gifts

Dr. Molly Marshall, a graduate of Oklahoma Baptist University and former professor at Southern Theological Seminary, is now the President of Central Baptist Theological Seminary in Shawnee, Kansas. Dr. Marshall has a blog entitled Trinitarian Soundings. Recently, Dr. Marshall wrote the following insightful blog:

"The Apostle ends 1 Corinthians 12 with the following exhortation: “But strive for the greater gifts.” As summation of his discussion of how the many members of the Body of Christ can work together and as prelude to the beloved next chapter on love, St. Paul knows that sustained unity amidst diversity taxes even the best among us. At the first hint of conflict persons nervously move away from one another, fearful of what might damage the relationship. Yet they ensure that the relationship will be damaged by refusing to enter into transformative conflict. The most mature relationships are characterized by conflict, not forced unanimity which subjugates one party to another.

Richard P. Olson, Distinguished Professor of Pastoral Theology at Central, has recently published Love Letter to a Conflicted Church. He offers distilled wisdom from over 40 years in pastoral ministry on how to engage conflict constructively. He writes: “…there are redemptive and transforming possibilities in conflict. Through conflict a person can become more self aware, articulate, and personally empowered. Not only that—one can learn to see the other as a human being, a child of God, one with struggles and needs much like one’s own. Indeed, redemption can happen in conflict when one obeys Jesus to love both neighbor and self” (p. 21). These are words to live by, indeed to “fight” by. I commend his insightful work.

Another scholar I respect, Mitch Carnell, a Baptist layperson in Charleston, S.C., has issues a clarion call for a different kind of discourse than what populates the varied radio and cable news talk shows. In his book Christian Civility in an Uncivil World, he suggests that a challenge greater than the political arena may be in bringing people of faith together to practice the way of civility. The purpose of his book is “to explore ways for people of faith to talk to and about each other in a way that glorifies God and advances God’s kingdom” (p.14). Our stewardship of words matters.

While I am not sure what all the Apostle had in mind when he referred to the “greater gifts,” surely he was urging the Corinthians (and those who listen to the epistle today) to learn how to live with others respectfully. In Pauline theology, one of the functions of the Spirit of God is to assist persons in bearing the strains of their differences in a constructive way. Learning to “speak the truth in love” and not “to think too highly of oneself” are grace gifts worth striving for in our day."

Excellent article! I long for the day when we conservative inerrantists, particularly those in positions of strategic leadership in the SBC, will write similar articles.

Nobody is saying we shouldn't take strong stands for truth. We should. But we should pursue the greater graces and the greatest gifts more than any other.

In His Grace,


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Sunday, August 25, 2013

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Memorable time in the city of the Polish kings

Tourism is at present believed to be a hobby of improving percentage of people. There are plenty different reasons why we do want to travel. Firstly, owing to meeting other societies we improve ourselves. It is so, because confronting our opinion with this connected with other society can widen it and make us be more aware citizens.

Autor: Pawel Loj

Besides, another benefit connected for instance with such alternative like Krakow tours, is that we can get to know some history on our own. History is surely the greatest life teacher and, as a result, it is advised to take part in as many lessons as possible. Regards not only Krakow, but also Poland, we may be ascertained that their history is pretty interesting and full of great times as well as difficulties. Travelling has never been as easy and comfortable as currently. Even people from the furthest countries of the Earth may find it quite easy – currently it is just the issue of booking tickets for an airplane and searching Krakow airport transfers. Owing to them we can achieve the center of Krakow relatively fast (for example. link to the source). After travelling from the airport we can also really fast get a hotelplace.

The owners of hotels in Krakow are every year expecting thousands of tourists, who come there to enjoy its beauty and places like Main Market, Wawel, Blonia and Vistula river. Nonetheless, if we have only very limited time, we should consider investing in Krakow tours. It is so, because they have been organized by specialists, who know very well this city and may help us in order to make the greatest use of our time spent there. Furthermore, they can tell us some attractive stories we may not be able to learn about in any book. As a result, besides seeking for Krakow airport transfes look at we need to keep in mind that there are many experienced guides speaking various languages. Finding them for an excursion to Krakow can be an amazing choice and help us to make our time spent in this city even more memorable and unique.


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Squilchuck State Park

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Set deep in the mountains outside of Wenatchee, Squilchuck State Park entices the active adventurer.

More than 10 miles of mountain bike trails fan out from a single group campground. Within minutes, you'll find yourself careening around corners and pedaling into the hills, where wild bike rides await. Ride along Mission Ridge Road or out to the Wheeler Reservoir for a more rugged day.

Winter opens up new possibilities, as fat tire snow biking is available, along with cross-country skiing, snowshoeing and family snow play.

Does this sound like your park? Reserve Squilchuck's group campsite for your biking, hiking or equestrian group. The sites, clustered around a common area, make for fun overnights, and beginning mountain bikers in your group can sharpen their skills at the Evergreen Mountain Bike Alliance's practice area.

Looking for a rustic mountain setting for your wedding or family reunion? Check out the Squilchuck Lodge, with its wall of windows, soaring ceilings and two-story fireplace. Balconies and outdoor picnic tables make it a charming indoor-outdoor venue in summer.

Park features
Squilchuck State Park is a 249-acre park located 9 miles south of Wenatchee. Its high desert hills are covered with forests of fir and ponderosa pine. The park sits below Mission Ridge at an elevation of 3,200 feet.

The group camp is made up of 20 campsites and can be reserved with the park ranger, (509) 664-6373, for a minimum of 25 people.

Discover Pass: A Discover Pass is required for vehicle access to state parks for day use. For more information about the Discover Pass and exemptions, please visit the Discover Pass web page.

  1. Activities
  2. Camping
  3. Maps

Picnic & day-use facilities

The Squilchuck Lodge is available for day-use events, including weddings, reunions and other group gatherings. The lodge is surrounded by grass and accommodates up to 75 guests. It has a kitchen with a range and oven, two refrigerators and a microwave. Tables and chairs are available for indoor seating and picnic tables for outdoor seating. To reserve, call Wenatchee Confluence State Park (509) 664-6373.

  • 4 miles of hiking trails
  • 10 miles of bike trails

Winter recreation

  • Cross-country skiing
  • Snowshoeing
  • Snow play

Other activities

  • Bird watching
  • Fire circle
  • Mountain biking
  • Wildlife viewing

Interpretive opportunities

Popular spring and fall nature hikes are led by state park rangers in cooperation with the Wenatchee Parks Department.

Additional information

  • Park trails are open to day visitors who walk or bicycle into the park. However, when the campground or lodge is reserved, day visitors are not permitted in the campground or lodge area. Please respect the privacy of groups that have reserved the park.
  • Mountain biking is not allowed in the lodge or camp areas for safety reasons.
  • Printable park brochure (PDF).


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[VIDEO] Harrysong – Report Card

By  |

Harrysong releases the official music video for his latest single “Report Card“.

The banging song was released last month and the Alter Plate boss wastes no time as he thrills his fans with the visual and also to push the smashing record further.

DOWNLOAD  [VIDEO] Zlatan ft. Lil Kesh & Naira Marley – Jogor

The colorful flick was Shot by Chidube.

Watch and Enjoy the visuals below

DOWNLOAD MP3 Harrysong – Report Card

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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

How to Restore Data in flash Shortcut Virus Hit

It is annoying when we are exposed to computer virus attacks . Especially now that it is again the trend aalah Virus Shortcut . This virus belongs to the class of viruses . Vbs . Although the virus is not so dangerous , but we also must remain vigilant because the virus will cause the computer to be heavy work . This virus by creating the file " autorun.inf , dekstop.ini , fanny.bmp , thumb.db , as well as a shortcut file berextensi . Lnk " on each drive and folder . the more folders in your computer, it will be the more shortcuts created by this virus .Measures to prevent or at least reduce it are as follows ;
1 . Turn off beforehand System Restore on all drives ( My Computer , Properties , System Restore , put checks on the Turn off System Restore on All Drives2 . Turn off the process " wscript.exe " ( Task manager . Services , wscript.exe , right click on the wscript exe , end process / end process tree )3 . Open Windows Explorer , click " Tools " and select " Folder Options " , then the "View" tab click " Show hidden files and folders" , remove the tick in the "Hide extensions for known file types" and also remove the tick on Hide protected operating system files . Click OK .4 . Click the "Search" button , click All Files and Folders , In the All or part of the file name type : Autorun.inf , in the Look in click " My Computer " , then put checks all at the More Advanced Options and delete all files that have been found .5 . Once the process is at No. . 4 is complete , do the same process as No. . 4 . But the column All or Part of the content of the file name in Dekstop.ini . Also delete this file .6 . Once the process is at No. . 5 is complete , do the same process as No. . 4 . But the column All or Part of the file name in the contents of the * . >>> Lnk ( LNK instead of ink ) . Also delete this file . but you must be careful not to mistakenly delete , characteristic of shortcut folders created by a virus that is when we designate the folder will display a link from the shortcut that is in the direction windows/system32 , it is a shortcut that we must remove

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19th May 2012: F1 & Mini-stox at Northampton

Another full on weekend of racing. Me, Danny & Young Frankie are racing at Northampton this evening and managed to arrive in time for a short practice before the start of the meeting.

JJ looks good in practice and seems to have got a bit of his pace back.

Out in his first heat, he’s driving mint! His starts looked better than usual and he soon makes his way up into the other superstars and red tops. He moves cleanly past #48 but she seems to have ideas for young Frank, and he ends up going into the wall hard. The ambulance is called onto the track. Frankie is okay but winded, and has some cuts and grazes on his chest. Back in the pits, the team worked hard to fix his bent back arms and engine mountings.

I’m out for Heat 1. The car felt quick and was going well until some cars bounced out in front of Stuart 390, then I ended up collecting him. A DNF due to front axle, wheel, and bumper being bent.

JJ goes back out for Heat 2. His mini seems to handle well considering the first heat, and he’s driving mint, crossing the line in fourth place.

Me and Danny back out for Heat 2. He has a better run than me with a third place, and I finish fifth.

Ministox final on now. Once again Frankie looks pretty quick and catches a few, only to be followed into a parked car. This time Young Frank bites a chunk out of his tongue!

Looking at his car, it dawns on me how many hours I will have to spend on it this week – the seat, steering arms, engines mounts, steel work is bent and even the shell has broke. Feel pretty peed off with it all to be honest, there’s no excuse for any of it.

F1 Final is out. Danny soon out due to a problem with his MSD wire. I do my best and get fifth.

Danny had the same electrical problems in the Grand National, and I finish in fourth.

So a few decent places, lots of damage, and a sore 12 year old lad! Buxton here we come!

Big thanks to Chris Webster, who has once again done us proud with a selection of fantastic photos.

And thanks to Darrelle Smith for these:


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Spode Blue Italian Creamer

Spode’s beautiful blue and white collection was launched in 1816 and has been manufactured ever since. Blue Italian features a finely detailed 18th century Imari Oriental border encompassing a scene inspired by the Italian countryside.

Due to the great range offered in the Blue Italian collection we continually change the items that we stock.

We are more than happy to order any pieces in if we don’t have stock at the time you visit.


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Locati Cellars

6 West Rose Street, Suite 101
Walla Walla, WA 99362

E: jason@locaticellars.com
P: (509) 529-5871

Map Call

From Italy's rugged and fertile vineyards to yet another spectacular wine producing region: the Washington/Oregon border and the Walla Walla Valley. The Locati family invites you to discover the blend that combines just a hint of the Old Country with the richness that only the Walla Walla Valley can bring. Come visit us in the historic Marcus Whitman Hotel in downtown Walla Walla at 6 W Rose St, Suite 101. Our cellar awaits! Open 7 days a week. You can also find our wines in the Spokane, WA; Vancouver, WA; Portland, OR; and Boise, ID regions. Locati traditions have nurtured this region's soil for over a century. Vineyards thrive on rolling hills up into the Blue Mountains as well as on the valley floor below taking in all the nurturing elements that the four seasons bring to this fine country. Like the grapes, you also have the opportunity to soak in it all. Whether it be the aromatic blossoms of spring or the relaxing, soothing heat of the sun in summer, nothing can finish it better than a Locati Cellars wine in your glass. Salute!

Sunday - Wednesday 12:00pm - 4:00pm, Thursday - Saturday 12:00pm - 6:00pm

On the Web


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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Shrimp-and-Sausage Jambalaya

Many Cajun and Creole dishes are seasoned with the so-called holy trinity--bell pepper, onion, and celery. This Creole-style jambalaya has lots of tomato in it.
                       Makes 6 to 8 servings

2    tablespoons vegetable oil
1    pound andouille or other spicy smoked sausage, sliced
1    large onion, diced
1    bell pepper, diced
3    celery ribs, chopped
4    garlic cloves, minced
2    bay leaves
1    teaspoon dried thyme
1    teaspoon dried oregano
2    teaspoons Creole seasoning
1    (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes, with juice
4    cups chicken broth
2    cups uncooked long-grain rice
1    pound shrimp, peeled and deveined
4    green onions, chopped

1. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add sausage, and cook, stirring constantly, 5 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove sausage with a slotted spoon; set aside.

2. Add onion and next 7 ingredients to hot drippings in Dutch oven; sauté 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Stir in reserved sausage, tomatoes, broth, and rice. Bring mixture to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer, covered, 25 minutes or until rice is tender.

3. Stir in shrimp; cover and cook 5 minutes or until done. Sprinkle each serving with green onions.
Heart healthy

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Maxy sez : How to Treat Low Blood Sugar Effectively

It’s important for those with type 2 diabetes to watch for signs of hypoglycemia, or insulin shock, and to know what to do if they occur.

By Margaret O'Malley        Medically Reviewed by Kelly Kennedy, RD
Hypoglycemic symptoms are important clues that you have low blood glucose.

An episode of hypoglycemia, or low blood glucose, comes on very suddenly. It can happen during or after strenuous exercise, or when you delay a meal. Most people with type 2 diabetes learn to recognize their hypoglycemic symptoms. These include:
Fast heartbeat
Inability to think straight
Hypoglycemic episodes can also happen while you are asleep. Symptoms include:
Crying out or having nightmares
Waking up to find your pajamas or sheets are damp from perspiration
Feeling tired, irritable, or confused after you wake up
What to Do if Your Blood Sugar Is Low

If you think your blood glucose may be too low, check your level using your testing equipment. If your blood glucose is less than 70 mg/dL, then you are probably having a hypoglycemic reaction.

Hypoglycemia is usually mild and can be treated quickly and easily by eating or drinking a small amount of glucose-rich food. Always carry something to eat in case a hypoglycemic episode happens, such as sugar or glucose tablets, fruit juice, or hard candy. Ask your doctor or certified diabetes educator (CDE) for suggestions about the best form of emergency glucose to have on hand for your particular situation.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Corn-and-Cod Chowder

With its all-American ingredients, this New England-style chowder is a comfort-food classic. The soup needs only bread, or traditional oyster crackers, as an accompaniment.

1/4       pound sliced bacon
1          tablespoon butter
2          onions, chopped
2         cups water
1        cup bottled clam juice
3/4      pound boiling potatoes (about 2), peeled and cut into 3/4-inch chunks
1        rib celery, chopped
1/4     teaspoon dried red-pepper flakes
1-1/4    teaspoons salt
2         cups fresh (cut from about 3 ears) or frozen corn kernels
1        cup milk
1        cup heavy cream
1-1/2    pounds cod fillets, cut into 1 1/2-inch chunks
1/4        teaspoon fresh-ground black pepper

1 .  In a large pot, cook the bacon until crisp. Drain the bacon on paper towels and crumble when cooled.

2 .  Add the butter and onions to the pot. Cook over moderately low heat, stirring occasionally, until the onions are translucent, about 5 minutes.

3 .  Add the water, clam juice, potatoes, celery, red-pepper flakes, and salt and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer until the potatoes are tender, about 20 minutes.

4 .  Return the bacon to the pot. Add the corn, milk, and cream and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir in the cod and pepper. Bring back to a simmer and cook until just done, about 3 minutes longer.

Fish alternatives use a relatively firm, mild fish that won't disintegrate in the soup, such as pollack, orange roughy, or ocean perch.

A rich Chardonnay from California will pair nicely with the creaminess of the chowder. Try to find one that hasn't been aged in oak.
Heart healthy

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Food for Thought : Alcohol and Cigarettes: Hypertension Risk Factors to Avoid

You can't always prevent high blood pressure, but giving up smoking and moderating your alcohol consumption can help.

By Diana Rodriguez
Medically Reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH

People who smoke and drink should be concerned about their cardiovascular health. Both habits increase the risk of developing hypertension, or high blood pressure, which in turn increases the risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

The effects of smoking and drinking on hypertension are well-known — both can have dramatic affects on heart health and blood pressure levels. So whether you've already been diagnosed with high blood pressure or have hypertension risk factors, it's time to do something about those risk factors you can control.

Smoking and High Blood Pressure

Smoking causes an immediate spike in blood pressure and can raise systolic blood pressure levels by as much as 4 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg). The nicotine in tobacco products spur the nervous system to release chemicals that can constrict blood vessels and contribute to high blood pressure.
Smoking also causes long-term damage to blood vessels, so beyond the hypertension risk, this habit further increases the chance of developing problems like stroke, heart disease, and heart attack. The combination of smoking and hypertension puts you at greater risk of having a heart attack, stroke, or other cardiovascular event compared to non-smokers with hypertension.

Drinking and High Blood Pressure

To keep blood pressure in check and prevent health problems, it's best to drink alcohol moderately. That means no more than one alcoholic drink per day for women, and no more than two drinks per day for men. If you cut back on alcohol consumption, research shows that you may be able to lower systolic blood pressure levels by as many as 3 mm Hg..

Quitting and Cutting Back

Here are some tips to help you stop smoking and limit your alcohol intake:

Commit to quit. Set a date and sign a contract, if necessary, with yourself and maybe a witness, in order to stop smoking. Get rid of all of your tobacco supplies — cigarettes, lighters, ashtrays, anything related to smoking — and check with your doctor about trying a nicotine patch or gum.

Avoid triggers. Do you find yourself craving a smoke while watching TV, after eating, or during a phone conversation? Then keep yourself busy and avoid those triggers. Take a walk after meals instead of watching TV or get an after-dinner cappuccino at a coffeehouse instead of visiting a bar.
Fill your time. Treat yourself to a fun activity that will take your mind off smoking and drinking — see a movie, go shopping, sightsee, or pick up a new hobby to occupy your time and give you a sense of enjoyment and satisfaction.

Make alcohol a limited indulgence. Instead of settling in on the couch with a six-pack or a bottle of wine, limit yourself to one drink (two for men) per day. Be sure to remember serving sizes — a serving of wine is 5 ounces; a serving of beer is 12 ounces; and a serving of liquor is 1.5 ounces.
Recognize the signs of dependence. If you have a difficult time limiting alcohol, you might need outside support. When alcohol starts affecting work, school, or relationships, it's time to seek professional help. Support groups can help, but a detoxification program (complete withdrawal from alcohol use) and rehabilitation may be necessary if you are a heavy drinker.
You can't always prevent high blood pressure, but you can control hypertension risk factors such as tobacco and alcohol.
A proud grand-poppa              G.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Shrimp and Grits

From  Creole /Cajun country  this  combo makes for a flavorful and fast dinner--quick-cooking grits come together in about 5 minutes.
Serves   4         Total time: 24 Minutes

4           center-cut bacon slices, chopped
1/2       cup chopped onion
1          tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
8         ounces cremini mushrooms, quartered
5         garlic cloves, chopped
3-1/4      cups unsalted chicken stock, divided
3/4     cup black coffee
1/2     cup lower-sodium tomato juice
1        tablespoon red wine vinegar
1        teaspoon sugar
1/2    teaspoon ground red pepper
1/4    teaspoon kosher salt, divided
2       tablespoons cornstarch
1       pound peeled and deveined medium shrimp
2       cups whole milk
1      cup uncooked quick-cooking grits
1/2    cup chopped seeded tomato
2      green onions, chopped

1. Cook bacon over medium-high heat until crisp. Add onion, thyme, mushrooms, and garlic; sauté 6 minutes or until onions and mushrooms are golden brown. Add 1 1/4 cups chicken stock, coffee, next 4 ingredients (through red pepper), and 1/8 teaspoon salt. Bring to a boil; reduce heat, and simmer 4 minutes. Add cornstarch, stirring with a whisk until smooth. Add shrimp; simmer 4 minutes or until shrimp are done.

2. Bring remaining 2 cups stock, remaining 1/8 teaspoon salt, and milk to a boil in a medium saucepan; add grits, stirring with a whisk. Reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes, stirring frequently with a whisk.

3. Place 1/2 cup grits in each of 4 shallow bowls; top each serving with 1 cup shrimp mixture. Sprinkle each serving with 2 tablespoons tomato and about 1 tablespoon green onions.

Heart healthy

Monday, February 20, 2017

Pork-and-Black Bean Chili ------- slow cooker

This is how a chili should be: spicy, savory, and delicious. Grab a spoon and savor every bite. Pork rib pieces are the savory meat that makes this chili so irresistible.
Fresh tomatillos look like small green tomatoes wrapped in thin papery skin. Remove skin, and rinse before chopping. If you can't find fresh, look for canned on the Latin aisle at the grocery.
Makes 6 to 8 servings              Total time: 7 Hours, 20 Minutes

3         tablespoons all-purpose flour
2        teaspoons ground black pepper
1-1/2   teaspoons ground cumin
4-1/2   teaspoons kosher salt, divided
3       pounds boneless country-style pork ribs, cut into 1-inch pieces
1/4   cup vegetable oil, divided
9       medium tomatillos, diced
3      cups chopped poblano peppers
2      cups diced white onion
3/4   cup reduced-sodium chicken broth
1-1/2   tablespoons dried oregano
1-1/2 tablespoons chili powder
3     garlic cloves, minced
2    (15-oz.) cans black beans, drained and rinsed
2    tablespoons plain cornmeal
Chipotle Cream
Garnishes: corn chips, lime wedges, fresh cilantro

1. Stir together first 3 ingredients and 2 1/2 tsp. salt in a large bowl; toss with pork. Sauté half of pork in 2 Tbsp. hot oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat 10 minutes or until browned. Transfer to a 7-qt. slow cooker. Repeat procedure with remaining oil and pork.

2. Stir tomatillos, next 7 ingredients, and remaining 2 tsp. salt into pork mixture. Cover and cook on LOW 8 hours.

3. Uncover and stir in cornmeal. Cover and cook on LOW 1 hour. Serve with Chipotle Cream.
Heart healthy

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Maxy sez : How Type 2 Diabetes Can Change Over Time

By Madeline R. Vann, MPH Reviewed by Farrokh Sohrabi, MD
Even when you work hard to control type 2 diabetes, the progression of the condition will likely require adjusting medications and lifestyle over time. Here’s what you may expect.

You probably already know that type 2 diabetes can cause long-term damage if you don’t control it, but it’s also important to understand that even well-controlled diabetes progresses over time — meaning you may have to adjust your treatment plan more than once.

The key to learning about the progression of diabetes is to understand the role of your pancreas, which produces insulin. For people with type 1 diabetes, the pancreas does not make any insulin, so they must take it through injections. With type 2, the pancreas doesn’t make enough insulin or the cells don’t respond to it adequately, according to the American Academy of Family Physicians. This means that the body has trouble moving sugar from the blood into cells to be used for energy. Diet, exercise, and medication, if prescribed, can all help those with type 2 diabetes lower their blood sugar levels and help their bodies use insulin made by the pancreas, according to the American Diabetes Association (ADA).

If blood sugar levels remain high, the ADA says, you may be at risk for such diabetes complications as vision loss, heart disease, nerve damage, foot or leg amputation, and kidney disease. However, proper diabetes management can help prevent or delay the onset of these complications.

How Your Diabetes Treatment Plan Might Change
Over time, your medications, diet, and exercise goals may need to be adjusted. “Initially the pancreas produces extra insulin to make up for insulin resistance, but in most people, the pancreas eventually is unable to make the extra insulin to keep blood sugar levels normal,” says Marc Jaffe, MD, a San Francisco endocrinologist in practice with Kaiser Permanente in Northern California.

After a type 2 diabetes diagnosis, your doctor will set blood sugar goals for you, recommend lifestyle changes, and perhaps prescribe oral medications such as metformin to help manage blood sugar levels, Dr. Jaffe says. “Because type 2 diabetes usually progresses over time, even people who don’t need medications at first are likely to need medications eventually,” he notes.

The next step in diabetes management, if these strategies aren’t working, is to change or add medication or add insulin, according to the 2014 Standards of Medical Care in Diabetes, published in the January 2014 issue of Diabetes Care. Your blood sugar goals might also be adjusted, based on your overall health and history with diabetes control, according to the guidelines. For some people who are obese, bariatric surgery might also be an option.

The guidelines also note that because many people with type 2 diabetes will eventually need insulin, insulin therapy should not be feared or viewed as meaning that you’ve failed at managing your diabetes.

“This is a progression of the disease and not to be thought of as something that you caused,” says Erin Palinski-Wade, RD, a certified diabetes educator in Franklin, New Jersey, and author of Belly Fat Diet for Dummies.

Tailoring Your Diabetes Treatment as You Age
Not only does diabetes itself progress, Palinski-Wade points out, but your body also changes over time. For example, you may experience complications from diabetes, like nerve pain, or develop osteoarthritis, which could make exercise more challenging, she notes. Those kinds of changes in your body would lead to adjustments in your diabetes management plan.

Because of the way diabetes progresses as people age, the ADA, the American Association of Diabetes Educators, and the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics came together in June 2015 to publish a joint statement recommending that doctors give people with diabetes a referral to see a registered dietitian or certified diabetes educator at least once a year to fine-tune their management plans, including diet and exercise. It’s also a good idea to see a diabetes educator any time you’re facing a new challenge that’s getting in the way of your self-management, such as when you’re diagnosed with another health condition or have physical limitations. Research published in 2014 in Diabetes, Metabolic Syndrome and Obesity: Targets and Therapy also emphasizes that a personalized approach to diabetes nutrition with realistic goals that meet the individual’s lifestyle is an important part of diabetes treatment.

Coping With Type 2 Diabetes Progression
Even though type 2 diabetes is progressive and you will likely need to make adjustments to your management and treatment plans, you can take steps to cope with the changes:

Eat healthfully. Your diet should be individualized, but people with diabetes can also benefit from Palinski-Wade’s advice to “focus on filling your plate halfway with plant-based foods such as vegetables at all meals.” She also urges people to learn to read labels and understand portion sizes — skills that will serve you well throughout your life.
Aim for a healthy weight. Losing weight can improve your diabetes control; the ADA's 2014 guidelines for self-management suggest that many people with diabetes can benefit from losing at least a small amount of weight. Check with your doctor for a specific recommendation for you.
Check your blood sugar. “As diabetes progresses, people may need to start checking or increase the frequency of checking their blood sugar levels, especially when blood sugar levels are high or low, hard to control, or in people who take insulin,” says Jaffe. Talk with a certified diabetes educator about the testing strategies that would work best for you.
Be active. A mix of aerobic activity and resistance training helps to improve insulin sensitivity, which means your body uses insulin more efficiently, according to the ADA guidelines.

It can be challenging to live with a chronic condition, but taking care of yourself each day and checking in with your doctor and diabetes educator regularly can help you stay on top of your diabetes management.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Food for Thought : 6 Secret Ways to Keep Produce from Going Bad

By Brianna Steinhilber
 1 . Keep Produce Out of the Garbage Bin
One of the most common excuses for not eating a healthy diet is the cost. And while stocking up on fresh produce and whole foods is an investment, it’s often the amount we waste that causes us to feel like we’re throwing away money. Luckily, there are some tried-and-true-tips to keep your healthy ingredients fresher, longer. Say goodbye to limp lettuce, moldy mushrooms, and sprouting potatoes: Here’s how to keep six common ingredients from going rotten – and to ensure you put every last penny’s worth of that grocery bill to good use!
                                           2 . Problem: Mushy Bananas
Solution: Wrap tops of bananas in plastic wrap.
A handful of fruits emit ethylene gas to ripen themselves — and bananas are one of them. If you know you won’t be able to eat the entire bunch within a few days, simply wrap the stems (where most of the gas is released) tightly in plastic wrap. This helps reduce the amount of ethylene emitted, slowing the ripening process and keeping the fruit fresh for a longer period of time. The gas also causes other fruits and veggies to ripen more quickly, so this trick will help prevent nearby produce from going bad as well. Like bananas, cantaloupe, nectarines, pears, plums, and tomatoes also emit ethylene gas and should be stored away from other produce.
3 . Problem: Rubbery Celery
Solution: Wrap in aluminum foil and store in the fridge.
Celery is one of those veggies that can quickly go from crisp and crunchy to rubbery and tasteless, but you can lengthen the life of this vegetable by taking a few extra minutes to store it properly. After separating, washing, and drying the stalks, wrap them tightly in aluminum foil. This keeps the air out and moisture in, but still allows the ethylene gas to escape (as opposed to plastic bags, which trap it in), slowing the ripening process and keeping the veggie fresh for up to a few weeks.
                                                       4 . Problem: Limp Lettuce
Solution: Line the bottom of your refrigerator’s crisper drawer with paper towels.
We all grab big heads of leafy lettuce with the intention of serving up light, healthy salads for summer dinners, but a few days go by and suddenly those crisp leaves become limp and soggy. To lengthen the shelf life of leafy greens as well as other produce in your fridge, line the crisper drawer with paper towels. Moisture in the fridge is what causes most fruits and veggies to lose their crisp texture and start to soften and go bad. By lining your fridge’s veggie drawer, you’ll absorb excess moisture and keep fresh produce crunchy for an extended period of time.
5 . Problem: Moldy Berries
Solution: Wash berries in a vinegar bath before refrigerating.
As we enter the summer months, shelves packed with delicious, vibrantly colored berries line the produce aisle. With blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries now in season, the low prices make it tempting to pick up a large container — but if you don’t gobble them down quickly, berries can quickly soften and begin to mold. To extend their shelf life, rinse the berries in a vinegar bath (one part vinegar to three parts water), then rinse again with just water to remove any vinegar taste. Once dry, place the berries back in their container and store in the fridge. The vinegar kills bacteria on the berries, which helps prevent mold growth and keeps them fresher, longer.
                                                   6 . Problem: Sprouting Potatoes
Solution: Throw an apple in with your potatoes.
A big bag of russet potatoes can be a lifesaver on busy weekdays. The starchy vegetable can quickly be turned into a baked potato, French fries, or morning hash browns to feed a hungry family. The downside of keeping a large bag on hand is that potatoes stored for an extended period of time begin to sprout. Keep your spuds ready-to-eat by storing in a cool, dry place, as sunlight and moisture encourage sprouting. Another trick: Throw an apple in with the potatoes. While scientists have mixed opinions about whether this kitchen hack actually rings true, many experimenters claim that adding an apple to the bag does indeed delay the sprouting of potatoes, adding weeks to their shelf life. Give it a try yourself and you be the judge.
                                               7 . Problem: Slimy Mushrooms
Solution: Keep mushrooms in a paper bag, not plastic.

Mushrooms are a delicious, hearty ingredient to use in everything from a chopped salad to a morning omelet to a stir-fry, but nothing is more unappetizing than reaching in for the vegetable and pulling out a slimy, mushy mess. To keep mushrooms meaty and fresh for as long as possible, it’s all about how you store them in your kitchen. When we get veggies home, it’s a habit to reach for plastic bags, but for mushrooms, paper should be your go-to. Plastic traps in moisture that causes mushrooms to mildew; opting for paper allows the vegetable to breathe and for moisture to escape, slowing the rate at which they begin to decay .

A proud grand-poppa        G.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

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Image result for beautiful friend greetings for valentines day

Thank you so much my wonderful cubs
Your card made me so happy
Thank you for  thinking of me as family
Close friends are very hard to find
 And impossible to let go
Much love to you all
Jonny ,  Sha  , Jenny , Man, Chris , Sheryl & Bubba
Image result for beautiful friend greetings for valentines day
Aunt Jeannie

Aunt Jeannie --- Happy Valentines Day

 Family isn't always blood . It's the people in your life who  want you  in their's; the ones who  accept you for what you are .  The ones who would do anything  to see you  smile  & who  love you no matter what .

Have a great day from the Cubs  with love .

Jonny ,  Sha  , Jenny , Man Carano

Chris , Sheryl , Bubba Landrieau

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Beef With Red Wine Sauce ------slow cooker

 This is an easy way to make a simple one-dish dinner that is sure to wow your guests. This beef recipe, flavored with gravy and mushrooms, is a hearty, filling dish. Pair it with a salad or bread, for sopping up the sauce, and you're ready to eat. That is just how it should be, and your slow-cooker beef will be just as delicious if you follow this simple recipe. The red wine sauce will make it even more rich and delicious, and you will savor every incredible bite.
 Makes 6 servings

3       pounds boneless beef chuck roast, cut into 1-inch pieces
1      medium onion, sliced
1      pound fresh mushrooms, halved
1     (1.61-ounce) package brown gravy mix
1     (10-1/2-ounce) can beef broth
1     cup red wine
2     tablespoons tomato paste
1    bay leaf
Hot cooked egg noodles or rice
Garnish: chopped fresh parsley

1 .  Place first 3 ingredients in a 6-quart slow cooker.

2 .  Whisk together gravy mix and next 3 ingredients; pour evenly over beef and vegetables. Add bay leaf.

3 .  Cover and cook on HIGH 6 hours. Remove and discard bay leaf. Serve over noodles. Garnish, if desired.
Heart healthy

Maxy sez : 4 Top Diabetes Diet Myths Exposed

By Erin Palinski-Wade, RD, CDE
If you’ve recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, or even if you’ve had diabetes for a long time, you may be confused about how to eat to manage your blood glucose levels. It seems that everyone has an opinion, and many of these opinions contradict each other.

So what are you to believe? And what truly works at helping you keep your glucose levels in a healthy range?

Let’s take a look at some of the biggest diabetes diet myths, why they don’t work, and what actually will.

Myth No. 1: If You Have Diabetes, You Must Avoid All Sugar

The Truth: A lot of sugar isn’t good for anyone’s diet, regardless of whether you have diabetes or not. But just because you have diabetes doesn’t mean that sugar and sweets are entirely off limits. All carbohydrates, including simple sugars as well as complex carbohydrates, are broken down into glucose during digestion. This glucose is then used as energy in your cells. Because all forms of carbohydrates break down into glucose and therefore raise your blood glucose levels, you need to monitor your total carbohydrate intake — especially what you eat within one sitting — for optimal glucose management.

Although you must be careful not to overeat carbohydrates at one sitting, you can still indulge in a few sweet treats on occasion. Complex carbohydrates such as whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and low-fat milk are the best choices for everyone due to their rich nutrient and fiber content. But as long as you keep portions under control, you can still enjoy foods containing simple sugars (such as cookies) in moderation without spiking your glucose levels. Keep in mind, though, that when it comes to simple sugars, moderation is key for everyone — not just people with diabetes.

Myth No. 2: All White Foods Are Bad for People With Type 2 Diabetes

The Truth: When you think of white foods, what comes to mind? White flour, white sugar, and white bread? What about white potatoes, cauliflower, and onions? Are all of these white foods bad for glucose levels? Definitely not! Sure, some white foods are highly processed, such as enriched flour and sugar. But just because a food is white in appearance doesn’t mean it will be rapidly converted into glucose in the body and spike your levels. In fact, white vegetables such as cauliflower and onions are excellent for blood sugar control because they’re very high in fiber, and low in both calories and carbohydrates.

White potatoes get a bad rap as well. It’s true that sweet potatoes are digested more slowly and prompt a smaller elevation in glucose levels after eating than their paler counterparts, but that doesn’t mean you need to avoid white potatoes altogether if you have diabetes. In moderation and as part of a balanced meal — with vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats — you can enjoy white potatoes as your starch and still maintain healthy glucose levels.

Myth No. 3: The Only Way to Lower Glucose Levels and Body Weight Is to Follow a Low- or No-Carb Diet

The Truth: If you are newly diagnosed with diabetes, you may feel as if everyone around you is telling you to steer clear of all sources of carbohydrates. Since carbohydrates are found in everything from fruit to bread to milk and even vegetables, you may feel as though there’s nothing left to eat. But the good news is that you can actually still eat carbs. Managing diabetes is about keeping your glucose levels in a healthy range. Glucose levels that are too high can damage your body, but very low levels can be dangerous as well. Eating carbohydrates as part of a well-balanced diet will help you keep your levels within a healthy range.

Instead of avoiding carbohydrates, focus instead on choosing the healthiest types.  Space your carbohydrate intake out throughout the day by balancing your plate with carbs, lean protein, and healthy fat at each meal. A balanced diet will not only help you achieve optimal glucose levels — it will also improve your overall health.

Myth No. 4: Sugar-Free Foods Won’t Impact Blood Sugar Levels

The Truth: Sugar-free doesn’t necessarily equal carbohydrate-free. Many foods marketed as sugar-free have replaced sugar with sugar alcohols, which provide fewer calories and make less of an impact on glucose levels than regular sugar — but can still elevate glucose levels if you consume them in large amounts. In addition, bread-based sugar-free foods, such as sugar-free desserts, are typically rich in carbohydrates from sources such as flour and grains. It’s essential to read labels carefully on sugar-free foods: In particular, look at the total grams of carbohydrates, not just grams of sugar. If you focus only on the marketing claims such as “sugar-free,” you may struggle to lower your glucose levels without knowing why.

As you can see, there are many diet myths surrounding diabetes. But managing your glucose levels doesn’t have to be complicated. A balanced diet rich in whole foods and limited in processed foods and simple sugars — the same diet that we should all follow, regardless of whether or not we have diabetes — can help you keep your glucose levels in a healthy range.

Erin Palinski-Wade, RD, CDE, is a nationally recognized nutrition and fitness expert who has contributed to national media outlets such as  The Doctors, and the Chicago Tribune. She serves as a media spokesperson, nutrition consultant, and speaker. Erin is the author of multiple publications, including Belly Fat Diet For Dummies and the 2-Day Diabetes Diet, and coauthor of the Flat Belly Cookbook For Dummies. She specializes in the areas of diabetes, adult and child weight management, sports nutrition, and cardiovascular disease.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Chicken with Field Pea Succotash -----slow ccoker

You’ll love the simplicity of this Creole Chicken with Field Pea Succotash that you will become full-bodied and deliciously flavored after simmering throughout the day in your slow cooker. This recipe is made even easier by using a few packages of frozen vegetables to help it all come together—frozen field peas, a frozen gumbo mix, and frozen corn can all be tossed right in. Spice it up with a few teaspoons of Creole seasoning that bring just the right amount of heat. Complete the meal by trying this easy side: Drizzle sliced fresh tomatoes with oil-and-vinegar dressing; season with salt and pepper to taste.
 Makes 6 servings             Total time: 5 Hours, 30 Minutes

1       (16-ounce) package frozen field peas with snaps, thawed
1      (10-ounce) package frozen vegetable gumbo mix, thawed
1      (16-ounce) package baby gold and white whole kernel corn, thawed
2      teaspoons chicken bouillon granules
4      teaspoons Creole seasoning, divided
1-1/2       teaspoons paprika
6       skinned, bone-in chicken thighs (about 2-1/2 pounds)

1. Stir together first 4 ingredients and 2 tsp. Creole seasoning in a lightly greased 6-qt. oval-shaped slow cooker.

2. Combine paprika and remaining 2 tsp. Creole seasoning; rub over chicken. Arrange chicken on top of vegetable mixture. Cover and cook on LOW 5 to 6 hours or until chicken is done.
Heart healthy

Food for Thought : Mistakes to Avoid With Heart Medications

If you're taking any kind of medicine for heart disease, you're probably taking it for life — so you need to learn to take it safely. Here are tips for avoiding common pitfalls.

By Diana Rodriguez
Medically Reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH
Taking heart medications isn’t easy. You'll likely have to remember multiple pills and specific instructions for each. But these medications, when taken correctly, can help manage or prevent heart disease, control blood pressure and cholesterol, and generally keep you healthy for years to come.

You probably know this. But you also need to know that if you take your medicines    incorrectly, not only can heart disease and related health problems progress, but you may start to feel sick — from progressing heart disease, drug interactions, or a side effect from your heart medications.

Taking Heart Medications Correctly

It may seem simpler to just swallow all your pills at once whenever you think about it. But there's definitely a method to taking heart medications to maximize their effectiveness against your health problems and minimize their side effects.

Here are some ways to prevent some of the most common mistakes people make when taking heart medications:

1 .  Make a list of your medications. Taking multiple drugs increases the risk of drug interactions. Keeping a complete list of all the medications that you take — and showing it to all your doctors at every visit — can help reduce the likelihood of any new medication interacting with ones that you are already taking.
2 .  Make a habit of taking your medications as directed, every day. It can be easy to forget to take your heart medication — but it can also be very serious to your health. Find a way to make remembering to take your heart medication easier, by doing it along with a daily activity like eating a meal or brushing your teeth. You can also group your medications in a daily pillbox, set an alarm on your watch or cell phone, or ask for reminders from your spouse.
3 .  Don't stop taking your medications unless your doctor tells you to. When you start feeling like yourself again, and when your blood pressure and cholesterol numbers improve, that doesn’t mean you're off the hook for your heart medication. Unless your doctor tells you to, never stop taking your heart medication or change the frequency with which you take it.
4 .  Get all your drugs at one pharmacy. Your pharmacist can help you keep track of your medications and spot any possible drug interactions. He can also help you identify any side effects that might be stemming from your heart medications. Rather than traveling all over town to several different pharmacies, fill all your prescriptions in one place to help you manage your medications better.5 . Don't forget your refills. Stay on top of how much medicine you have left, and refill  prescriptions promptly. Don't wait until you run out, as you might not be able to get to the pharmacy and may miss a dose.
5 .  Be aware of possible side effects. Heart medications can cause some side effects, so it's important to know what they are so that you can be on the lookout. If you suddenly notice yourself feeling a little dizzy, coughing more often, or feeling a little nauseated, it could be caused by your heart medications. Ask your doctor or pharmacist what side effects are common, and speak with them if you start experiencing problems. Sometimes taking a medicine in the evening can avoid side effects related to dizziness — ask your doctor if this would be safe to do.
Avoiding Side Effects
Most side effects aren't serious, but they can be bothersome. The most important thing that you can do to prevent side effects is to take your medications exactly as your doctor prescribed them. Your pharmacist can also give you some suggestions on taking your medications — for instance, one medication may need to be taken with a lot of water, while another may need to be taken along with a meal to prevent an upset stomach, while another should not be taken with other medications.

Remember that list of medications you wrote down? You might want to write down the side effects — and how to handle them — on it, as well.

You should also remember to tell your doctor and pharmacist about all the over-the-counter medications, supplements, vitamins, and herbs that you take. Those could cause side effects from a drug interaction. Check with a health care professional before you take any other medications in conjunction with your heart medications — even simple cough and cold medicines.

A proud grand-poppa                G.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Beef or Lamb Stew

 1/2      cup all-purpose flour
Salt and freshly ground pepper
4        pounds boneless lamb/or beef  shoulder or top round, cut into 2-inch cubes
1/2     cup olive oil
2        cups dry red wine
2        tablespoons sherry vinegar
4        cups chicken stock
2        tablespoons chopped tarragon
1        pound baby carrots, peeled
1        pound baby parsnips, peeled
1        pound small fingerling potatoes
1/2     pound baby turnips, halved
8        baby fennel bulbs, trimmed, fronds reserved and chopped
1        large shallot, minced
2        tablespoons minced parsley

1 .  Preheat the oven to 350Put the flour in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Add the lamb/beef  cubes in 4 batches, tossing to coat thoroughly.

2 .  In a large enameled cast-iron casserole, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil until shimmering. Add one-fourth of the lamb /beef  cubes and cook over moderately high heat until browned, about 6 minutes; transfer to a plate. Brown the remaining floured lamb in 3 batches, adding 2 tablespoons of oil to the pot per batch. Reduce the heat if the casserole bottom darkens too much.

3 .  Return all of the lamb /beef  to the casserole. Add the wine and vinegar and bring to a boil. Add the stock and tarragon and return to a boil. Season with salt and pepper. Cover the casserole and braise the stew in the oven for about 1 hour, or until the meat is nearly tender.

4 .  Add the carrots, parsnips, potatoes, turnips, fennel and shallot to the lamb stew. Season with salt and pepper and bring to a boil, stirring to distribute the vegetables. Cover the casserole, return it to the oven and cook until the meat and vegetables are tender, about 1 hour longer. Season with salt and pepper. Stir in the parsley and fennel fronds and serve the stew in deep bowls.

Pair  the stew with a rich, powerful Pinot Noir that is full of dark-berry fruit
Heart healthy

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Mama bear puts baby back to bed

Mama panda at Taipei Zoo in China puts baby to bed

Maxy sez : Tired All the Time? It Could Be Your Diabetes

Fatigue in people with diabetes is often attributed to blood sugar fluctuations, but stress and emotional concerns can be major contributors. Learn coping strategies that can help boost energy and mood.

By Beth W. Orenstein           Medically Reviewed by Farrokh Sohrabi, MD

If you’re coping with diabetes and feel wiped out all the time – the kind of fatigue that isn’t helped by eating or getting a little extra sleep – your doctor might tell you that your blood sugar levels are to blame. But new research shows that the duo of diabetes and fatigue could have other causes. In a study published in The Diabetes Educator, researchers Cynthia Fritschi, RN, PhD, and Laurie Quinn, RN, PhD, of the University of Illinois College of Nursing, found that stress, depression, body mass index (BMI), and lack of physical activity can all be significant contributors to fatigue in people with diabetes.
The study looked at 83 women ages 40 to 65 with type 2 diabetes. The women completed questionnaires about their health, fatigue levels, diabetes symptoms, depression, emotional distress, physical activity, and how they were managing and coping with diabetes. Some of the women wore a continuous glucose monitor for three days to assess the changes in their glucose (blood sugar) levels.

The researchers found no relationship between the women’s fatigue level and their blood sugar control. Fasting blood sugar, glucose fluctuations over the study period, and A1C, which measures average blood sugar level over the previous two to three months, did not predict how tired the women reported feeling. “It appears that other factors – such as being overweight, getting little physical activity, and having higher levels of distress – could be causing their fatigue,” Fritschi says.

Diabetes and fatigue can set up a Catch-22, Fritschi adds. “One of the key strategies for taking care of diabetes is exercise, yet people with diabetes can be too tired to exercise," she says. If you’re also depressed, you’re even less likely to have the energy to take other steps needed to manage diabetes, such as preparing healthy meals and monitoring your blood sugar. “I think there are definitely quality of life issues that come with diabetes and fatigue,” Fritschi says.

Coping With Diabetes and Fatigue
Take a proactive approach to dealing with fatigue by addressing your symptoms and concerns with your health care providers and support team.

· Give specifics. When talking to your doctor about how you feel, don’t just say, “I’m tired all the time.” Tell your doctor that 'I’m too tired to go for a walk or go grocery shopping,' ” Fritschi says. Let your doctor know that your exhaustion is preventing you from doing activities that are important to keeping you healthy.

· Keep a journal. How many times do you get up at night to go to the bathroom? Are you skipping meals because you’re too tired to stand and prepare them? Make detailed notes on these issues and use your journal to talk to your doctor or diabetes educator about concerns that make living with diabetes harder for you.

· Work with a therapist. Managing diabetes is a 24/7 commitment. That alone can cause you to feel anxious, stressed, and depressed. And, in turn, depression can lead to fatigue and a lack of energy, Fritschi says. If you feel burdened and depressed by your diabetes, consider getting professional help. A therapist who is trained in treating depression can help you improve your mental health. Ask your doctor or diabetes caregiver .

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Hawaiian Short Ribs ... get in ma belly

Hawaiian Short Ribs

This sweet and spicy dish is like an instant tropical vacation, especially since your slow cooker does all the work.

2 red onions, cut into 1-inch wedges, root ends left intact
4 garlic cloves, smashed
2-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced
4 pounds bone-in beef short ribs (about 6), cut in 3 1/2-inch pieces
1 1/2 cups dark-brown sugar
1 cup low-sodium soy sauce
6 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 tablespoon Sriracha or other chili sauce
3 cups 1-inch-cubed pineapple (1 pound
Cooked white rice, for serving
Chopped scallion greens, for serving ( optional..spring onions work too)

Place onions, garlic, and ginger in a 5- to 6-quart slow cooker. Top with short ribs in a tight layer. In a medium bowl, whisk together brown sugar, soy sauce, vinegar, and Sriracha and add to slow cooker. Cover and cook on high until ribs are almost tender, 4 hours. Add pineapple and cook until pineapple is tender, 1 hour.

With a slotted spoon, transfer ribs, pineapple, onions, and ginger to a platter and tent with foil. With a ladle, skim fat from cooking liquid. Serve ribs and pineapple mixture with rice; drizzle with some cooking liquid and sprinkle with scallions.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Food for Thought : 10 Unhealthy Relationship Myths to Stop Believing

Thinking that "happily ever after" is real can spell trouble for a relationship. Discover the truth behind some common relationship misconceptions so you can boost your bond.
By Gabrielle Frank
Falling in love is easy. Maintaining a happy, healthy relationship? That's the hard part. And if you go into a relationship buying into myths like “opposites attract” and “happy couples never fight,” you’ll be setting yourself up for failure, says Charlie Bloom, a psychotherapist based in Santa Cruz, California. These ideals are unhealthy and unrealistic since they tend to be based on fairytales (Cinderella, anyone?).

To help improve your relationships, we've decided to clear the air. Read on to discover the truths behind 10 common relationship myths.

Myth #1: Opposites Attract
The Truth: This is one of those myths that’s ingrained in us as teenagers: the good girl falls for the bad boy. And while there is some truth to it — extroverts tend to be attracted to introverts, for example — the key to a successful relationship is to complement one another. “I like to say complements attract,” says Bloom. “This means looking for someone who has the qualities you lack.” It’s also a big plus to have similarities in your personal history, as well as interests in common. Coming for a similar background will make it easier for you and your partner to relate to one another.

Myth #2: Happy Couples Never Fight
The Truth: A lot of us fall for this misconception, and it’s no wonder why. Movies, television shows, and society perpetuate the myth that for happy couples, life is always roses and sunshine. The truth? “All couples have differences, and fighting is not a sign that you’re with the wrong person,” says Bloom. “In fact, it’s healthy to debate issues. You’re not always going to see eye-to-eye, and that’s okay.” What is important is being diplomatic during arguments, and not judging or being critical of your spouse. Speaking the truth without blame and judgment will establish trust and strengthen your bond.

Myth #3: Couples Should Have Sex 5 Times a Month
The Truth: “There is no correct frequency for sex,” says Bloom. “Everyone has different needs.” If you want to have sex more or less often, talk to your partner and figure out a groove that works for you both.

Myth #4: Good Relationships Are Easy and Don’t Require Work
The Truth: People tell themselves, "If I find the right person, it’s smooth sailing from there." The reality is a lot different. “You don’t know a person until you’ve been with them for a while,” explains Bloom. “In the beginning of a relationship, you’re both putting your best foot forward. But eventually your flaws start to show, and your partner has to learn how to deal.” Recognizing that all relationships take work will keep you from feeling disappointed later on.

Myth #5: Getting Married or Having a Baby Will Solve Your Relationship Problems
The Truth: “Women who deal with trust issues tend to think that marriage and babies will make their partners more committed,” says Bloom. “But that’s not necessarily the case." Rather than solve your problems, having a baby may actually create new issues that will only add to the ones you’re already dealing with. To improve your bond, you have to look at what’s happening inside the relationship rather than looking to outside forces to fix it, recommends Bloom.

Myth #6: Commitment Is a One-Time Event
The Truth: Saying your vows and exchanging rings on your wedding day isn’t enough: You need to commit to your marriage every single day, according to Bloom. “Great relationships don’t just happen,” he says. “You have to cocreate it with your partner all the time."

Myth #7: If He Loved Me, He Would Know What I Need
The Truth: “Your partner isn’t a mind-reader,” says Bloom. “It’s up to you to tell him or her exactly what you need to feel loved.” For example, if you want physical connection and attention, tell your partner what that means for you. Maybe it’s a hug and kiss before you leave for work, or cuddling on the weekends. Bloom suggests saying something like, “It would mean a lot to me if ....” and filling in the blank with whatever you need to feel loved and supported.

Myth #8: All Men Are Prone to Cheat
The Truth: This myth is endlessly supported by the media, so it’s no surprise that a lot of us fall for it. But the reality is not that all men are cheaters, and buying into this myth can have negative consequences for your relationship. “You’ll be less trusting of your partner and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop,” says Bloom. If you want a solid bond, you have to trust your significant other and communicate if you have concerns about his fidelity. It isn’t always easy, but it’s important to be open and honest with one another.

Myth #9: People Don’t Change
The Truth: People can change — as long as they want to. “You have to be willing and open,” says Bloom. Remember that change can be scary, so it's important to be loving and supportive of your partner.

Myth #10: Happily Ever After Exists
The Truth: “We all grow up with the Cinderella story,” says Bloom. “People are taught to think that love should be enough. But if you’re caught up in that myth, you’re not going to take the responsibility required to create a great relationship.” You have to be ready and willing to work for your relationship. It doesn’t just happen; it takes effort and determination.

A proud grand-poppa            G.