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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Did I just blink and miss China becoming a global diplomatic force?

Last week, I casually followed the little Korean lunatic's nuclear tests and his big talk, as well as the reported apology that he later denied. This week, I woke up, picked up the paper and read that he now wants to engage in multi-lateral talks. That didn't just happen on its own, and the US can't be credited with bringing him to the table. China just bitch slapped that idiot and told him to behave, and it worked.

It seems that the rest of the world's states have generally crafted their foreign policy or Asian policies around China. Their respective plans appear to have been to act in ways that would keep China on the sidelines. For its part, China appeared satisfied to accept its assigned role as the sleeping giant everyone else shouldn't disturb. That may have just changed.

I think China took bold, open and direct action in this instance, and I wonder if this portends a change in how China will engage others in the future.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Old School

Lead plays, traps, and sweeps. Linemen staying on their blocks. A 250 lb. fullback lead blocking. Guards pulling. A running back hitting the hole and pushing the pile. That's what an old school running game looks like, and that's what the Cleveland Browns offense did pretty darn well for most of yesterday's game.

The Browns offense appeared to feature a lot less of the infuriatingly ineffective zone plays that had formed the cornerstone of their anemic rushing attack to date. Yesterday's attack was full of old school stuff that the Browns ran because they had a coach who believed his linemen were physically superior to the Jets defensive line. Jeff Davidson's linemen rewarded his confidence in them with what was clearly their best performance of the season.

It was nice to see a little offense for a change, but the game's real heroes were the guys on defense, and the defensive backs in particular. It's hard to imagine how Holly, Bodden, Jones and Russell could've played any better. Coles had only four receptions for 40 yards. Pennington was a dismal 11/28 for 108 yards and two picks compliments of Sean Jones. The Jets only got into the red zone once, and whiffed. (Thank you, Mike Carey!)

Notwithstanding the win and all the positives from yesterday's game, there were also plenty of reminders of just how far the Browns have to go. You didn't like the way the Browns went into their shell and played Martyball during the last eight minutes of the fourth quarter, did you? Want to know one of the biggest reasons they did that? His name is Charlie Frye.

Right now, Charlie Frye's poor judgment makes him a player that the Browns need to manage late in games, not a guy you want to turn the game over to in tight situations. He's got the ability to make big plays, but he's convinced he can make a big play on every play. For example, Frye got lucky scrambling and then throwing back over the middle to Braylon Edwards on the Browns' first touchdown drive. That encouraged him to try to do something similar from deep in the Browns own territory in the second half. Unfortunately, Unitas in his prime couldn't have hit Josh Cribbs on that play, and the ball was intercepted.

Frye has talent, but plays like that are why I don't trust him when the game is on the line. Neither do the Browns. I applaud the coaching staff for their decision not to put him in a position where he could throw his weekly late fourth quarter interception. The Browns had lousy field position, the line was having trouble picking up the Jets' blitz, and Charlie Frye was an accident waiting to happen. 70,000 people booed Crennel and Davidson for keeping the ball on the ground, but I think putting the game in the hands of the defense was the right thing to do under the circumstances.

Hey, it wasn't always pretty, but it was the definitely the best performance on both sides of the ball that we've seen this season. When you couple it with the Pittsburgh's loss to Oakland, it's hard to imagine a better end to a weekend.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Fearless Prediction

I can't believe I'm writing this, but the Browns will win today 20-13. I have that on good authority.

I was at a party last night, and an attractive neighbor, with a tight little can, stated with certainty that the Browns would win today. Maybe it's all the vino I drank last night; maybe it's because, at long last, Carthon's gone; or maybe it's the tight little can, but I think the Browns will win.

Here's why. The Jets, despite their record, are really a pretty shitty football team. The Browns have been decent on defense, and now public enemy #1 is gone. Jeff Davidson can't be worse than Carthon. Plus, this is essentially the start of his audition for the big time. He should be willing to be aggressive and creative on offense today. I think they'll score enough points to win. Because the defense won't be on the field constantly, it should be able to come up with a few stops and hold the Jets' offense in check.

One last thing could help the offense immensely. If Charlie Frye comes out clean shaven, watch out. I've got to think the eight or nine hairs on his upper lip have to be incredibly distracting in the huddle and while the linemen are getting in their set positions. Come on Charlie, you're not a freshman in high school. Shave that damn thing and score some points.

Fifth Down

My brother is a proud Cornell football alum. He was an All-Ivy League lineman and a member of the Big Red's last championship team. I thought he'd appreciate this video clip. If you're into football history, you might like it too.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

CARDINALS WIN...so what?

Last night the Cardinals won the World Series, and apparently, no one outside of St. Louis and Detroit cared.

I didn't either. I ended up casually rooting for the Tigers because I like their young players and because I don't like how the media generally deifies LaRussa.

The Tigers showed what a middle market team with a committment to winning can do. That was one of the worst organizations in baseball, but Dave Dombrowski made investments in free agents, getting Ivan Rodriguez, Magglio Ordonez and Kenny Rogers. Then, he spent some dough on the farm system, which produced guys like Verlander, Bonderman, Zumaya and Granderson, who should be tough players for a long time.

That's bad news for the Indians, who are stuck with a well-intentioned GM but a miserly, skinflint of an owner. But, I digress.

The other reason I rooted for the Tigers is that Tony LaRussa is an ass, and the media's love affair with him makes me want to puke. He's got a law degree. So what? I know a lot of people with law degrees and half of them are idiots. If he's so smart, why couldn't he figure out that two of his stars, Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire, were pumped up on steroids? Didn't that law degree help out when opposing fans would chant "STER-ROIDS! STER-ROIDS!" every time Canseco stepped into the box? Didn't his vaunted intellect engage in a little critical analysis when he saw empty bottles of androstene in McGwire's locker? Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe LaRussa just stopped being a genius for those 10 years or so.

Anyway, he's an idiot, and as Forrest Gump might say, and that's all I have to say about that.

On the other hand, how 'bout that Jim Leyland. That poor guy loves baseball and apparently he walks a tightrope every game night. According to him, he was so wound up during Wednesday's rain out, he smoked a carton of cigarettes. He described it as "probably the worst day of the year for my lungs." That guy just has stones. I would have loved to have been hanging around the Tigers' dugout watching Jim fire up one butt after another. I'm sure he was pacing around the dugout, with his metal cleats clacking, just swearing about the rain.

His team lost the Series, but Marlboro should do the right thing and throw the guy a bone with some big advertising dollars. If the man's smoking a carton a night, he's earned it.

Throw the Tarp Away and Turn on the Sprinklers

The New York Jets are the kind of team I hoped that the Cleveland Browns had a chance to be this year. A lousy team last year, the Jets have achieved a level of mediocrity this season to which the Browns can only aspire. The Jets currently boast a 4-3 record, and trail division-leader New England by only a single game.

The Jets' improvement has come courtesy of a good bit of offensive firepower and a schedule that is a freaking joke. New York's wins have come against such NFL superpowers as Tennessee, Buffalo, Miami and Detroit. They get to face three of those teams again during the second half of the season, along with Houston, Oakland and Green Bay. Where do the Browns go to sign up for a schedule like that?

To New York's credit, the team also made some pretty good offseason decisions. So far, the best of these appears to have been the decision to hang on to the injury-plagued Chad Pennington, whom they came perilously close to dumping. Pennington has rewarded them by throwing for more yards than anybody else in the AFC except Peyton Manning. Pennington also ranks 5th in the conference in passer rating and has thrown nine touchdown passes. Of course, he's had a little help. Receiver Laveranues Coles has caught 42 balls for 566 yards, and ranks second in the AFC in both receptions and yardage.

The Jets are also reaping the benefits of what looks to be a very solid draft. They used two first round picks to improve their offensive line, adding tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson and former Buckeye center Nick Mangold. Both Mangold and Ferguson have met or exceeded expectations. Another Jets' rookie who has made a big splash so far is fourth round pick Leon Washington. The former Florida State running back has rushed for almost 350 yards and is averaging nearly five yards per carry, and only New England's Laurence Maroney has rushed for more yardage among NFL rookie backs.

Fortunately for the Browns, New York's defense stinks. The Jets have given up a staggering 372 yards per game, ranking them 30th out of 32 NFL teams. What's worse, the team has given up more touchdowns (21) than anyone else in the AFC, and more rushing touchdowns (14) than anyone in football.

In light of these numbers, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out the Browns' game plan for tomorrow-- control the football and keep the Jets' offense off the field. Tony Grossi suggests that new offensive coordinater Jeff Davidson shake things up a bit. I say to hell with that, at least for tomorrow. The forecast calls for more rain today and tonight, and 25-40 m.p.h. winds tomorrow. Keep the tarp off, turn the sprinklers on and give the ball to Droughns 40 times.

This is another game that I've talked myself into believing that the Browns have a shot at. I can't predict a win for the good guys, but if they do pull it off, I won't be too shocked. Jets 20, Browns 13.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Jeff Davidson

Jeff Davidson is the new man on the hot seat as far as Browns fans are concerned. Some media reports have sounded a little skeptical about his elevation to the role of offensive coordinator. That's because the unit for which he is primarily responsible (the offensive line) is one of the worst in football. Despite the offensive line's performance this season, I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, and not just because I've got absolutely no choice.

Believe it or not, I've actually met Jeff Davidson. Maybe that overstates my interaction with him, but I was fortunate enough to get the chance to observe his coaching style much more closely than most fans ever do, and I like what I've seen. I think Davidson could turn out to be a big upgrade for this team.

Long time readers of this blog may recall my excellent adventure on the Browns sideline during last season's Bengals game. Well, one of my jobs that day was to hand pre-snap and post-snap photos to Davidson when the Browns were on offense. One thing that I noticed about Davidson during that game was that he seemed to spend a lot of one-on-one coaching time with his players. His conversations with his linemen were very intense, but he never seemed to lose his cool. The other thing that I noted was the way his players sought him out, instead of Davidson having to track them down on the bench to communicate with them. I know it was just one game, but the guy obviously had the respect of his players, and he impressed me.

Davidson's controlled demeanor represents a big change from his predecessor, and it will go a long way to improving this team's morale. The bigger question, of course, is to whether he'll be able to improve the offense's performance. Like I've been saying, it all comes down to the offensive line, and it will be very interesting to see how they respond to Davidson this weekend.

The comments coming out of the offensive line suggest that Carthon may have been a big contributor to their problems. I'm a little doubtful about that, because I think the Browns have huge talent issues on the offensive line. On the other hand, if Carthon really was calling plays with the wrong protections and running them out of the wrong formations fairly regularly, then they've got a legitimate beef.

I like Jeff Davidson. Let's hope he can somehow figure out a way to turn this turd into a fudgsicle.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Hudson Strikes Again

I thought that nothing could top The Great Hudson Easter Egg Hunt, but that was before I found out about this. The best part about this mess is that some of these dopes still don't seem to understand why somebody might take offense at rich white people from a snooty suburb dressing up in blackface and afros to support their children's "Black Hawks" football team.

You can almost hear the explanations now, can't you? "This whole thing is ridiculous. I mean the team's called the Black Hawks, get it? Black Hawks, black people? Look, some of my very best friends are black. There's George at the country club who cleans my golf shoes. Why, I gave him a $50 tip just last Christmas. Besides, the refs were terrible and stole the game from us."

There are a lot of very nice, decent people in this town, but obviously, there are also a lot of people who think that this is their planet, and the rest of us ought to just shut up and be grateful that they're willing to share the air.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Hasta La Vista, Mo

It's just uncanny the way that things sometimes happen, isn't it? I mean, Romeo Crennel steadfastly refuses to throw Maurice Carthon under the bus over the bye week, and then, all of the sudden, he's gone. Now, we all know that Phil Savage is a good Christian man, so I'm sure that neither he nor anybody else in the front office had anything to do with Tony Grossi's article on Sunday floating the possibility of Jim Tressel as a replacement for Crennel. I'm just as sure that the ensuing speculation about Crennel's own job played no role whatsoever in his quick about-face. Others may have their suspicions, but not me, no siree!

Don't get me wrong. I think Carthon was part of the problem on offense and I'm glad they canned him--although as Barry McBride pointed out last week, we can never be sure about what we know with the Browns, since the paranoia runs deeper in Berea than it did in the Kremlin. But there are a couple of things about the move that bother me.

First of all, like every move the Browns make, the whole thing looks a little sordid. Use of the media by various factions to gain the upper hand in a power struggle has been a common tactic with this franchise, and this obviously has happened once again. I can't imagine that intrigue like this does anything to improve morale or engender loyalty in the organization, and it needs to stop right now. Frankly, it makes the Browns look unprofessional. Hey, if the shoe fits....

Second, and more importantly, I'm afraid that this kind of mid-season move signals that Randy Lerner may be tempted to press the reset button on this franchise yet again. I think that would be a mistake. Is Crennel the second coming of Vince Lombardi? Is Phil Savage another Bill Polian? No, but the more I've watched the NFL, the more I've come to believe that continuity is essential if a team is going to have a chance to compete over the long haul. Right now, the Browns are on their third regime in seven years. If you want to look at the differences between this organization and perennial contenders like the Patriots, Broncos and Steelers, start with that one.

Like most fans, I'm about out of patience with this train wreck of a franchise that I've wasted thousands of dollars on over the last seven years, but there don't appear to be a lot of good options available other than staying the course with Crennel and Savage. There is some talent on this team, and eventually, these two may figure out how to use it. As disappointed as I am, I'd rather give them a chance to do that than start over again. I just don't have the stomach for it.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Hey Randy, here's a glimpse into the future. The Cleveland Browns got exactly what they deserved yesterday--a stadium where the ushers and security people outnumbered the remaining fans well before the end of the game. Rich Swerbinsky nails it better than I ever could. Go read what he has to say.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Nothing new.

Today, the Browns host the Denver Broncos. It will end like 15 of the 20 games the two teams have played, but it will be more like those that are remembered in the deep sorrowful parts of our sports souls. The Browns will lose a game they should have won. I don't think it will be boring. I think it will be painful. The final will be something like 17-14, and we'll have an errant field goal, or a blocked punt, or an interception to feed the brutal resignation that abides near the lake.

If you're looking for a silver lining, it may be that this game dooms Carthon and moves the pumpkin heads one step closer to a top five pick in April's draft. Other than that, maybe George Bernard Shaw had it right:

It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our
powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing
matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish writer.

If I Nod Off, Don't Wake Me

The Browns take on the Broncos today in a game that has inexplicably been designated as a 4:05 p.m. start. What makes this match-up one to merit a marquee time slot? Unless you're into the Browncos story line, which I'm not, absolutely nothing. In fact, this thing has all the makings of one of the most boring games of the season. Two of the league's worst offenses match up in a contest that appears destined to end up with a score of something like 5-3.

I already spent several hundred words frothing at the mouth about the Browns during the bye week, so I won't waste time rehashing that bilge. As for today's opponent, suffice it to say that the Broncos are a team of extremes. Their defense is extremely good, and their offense is extremely bad.

How good is the Broncos' defense? It's awesome. Denver has allowed only one touchdown this year. Only one team in NFL history (the 1934 Detroit Lions (0 TDs)) has done better than that through five games. The Broncos lead the NFL in red zone defense (8.3 TD pct.) and have allowed only 19 points (4.8 ppg.) in their last four games. Denver has not allowed more than one third-down conversion in the second half of any game this year. Their opponents have converted only 5-of-33 (15.2%) of their second half third-down attempts.

How bad is the Broncos' offense? It stinks. In terms of scoring, only Oakland's is worse. Denver has scored just 62 points, which is a mere 12 more points than the Raiders have managed to put on the board. Jake Plummer has thrown only three touchdown passes and five interceptions through the first five games of the season. His 63.1 passer rating ranks him 31st in the NFL. In case you're wondering, not only does Charlie Frye (67.5) have a higher passer rating than Plummer, but so does Joey Harrington (63.5). Check it out here.

All that defensive firepower and offensive ineptitude seems likely to make this one agony to sit through, but you never know. My guess is that the Browns will at least make this close, and if they get a turnover or two and another big week out of their special teams, they may have a shot at this game. Jay Novacek thinks so.

Me? Like I said, if I nod off, don't wake me. (Okay, wake me for the kick returns). I'll be wildly optimistic about the offensive potential of this matchup and double my first paragraph prediction of total offensive output. Broncos 10, Browns 6.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Terrorists Threaten to Put Browns Fans Out of Their Misery

Some internet terrorist wannabe has threatened to set off dirty bombs at seven NFL stadiums this weekend. Cleveland Browns Stadium is supposedly on the list, which has prompted a very corporate-type "remain calm, all is well" statement from the Browns.

The Department of Homeland Security says that this threat isn't credible, but I plan to take my duct tape with me anyway, just in case. By the way, if you decide not to attend this game because of this threat, you are one ginormous candy ass. I'm afraid that there will in all likelihood be carnage at the stadium this weekend, but unless you're wearing a brown jersey and an orange helmet, my guess is that you've got very little to worry about.

Remember, if you don't wait in line for an hour to get patted down by the highly-trained stadium temp workers for the privilege of watching the underachieving, incompetent and usually boring Cleveland Browns play, the terrorists win. So don't go to the game for yourselves, do it for America--F--k YEAH!!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Cackling Magpie of Browns Stadium

So anyway, this lady (via SportsFilter) has apparently gotten herself into some hot water with the University of Tennessee for cheering too loudly at the Vols football games this season. Ordinarily, I'd say people were out of their minds to complain about something like this, but that's before I spent two seasons in the same section as the Cackling Magpie of Cleveland Browns Stadium.

She showed up about a year after we moved to the section, and her fingernails on a chalk board voice will forever be seared into my brain. It wasn't so much that the Magpie cackled "c'mon Browns!, c'mon Charlie!" before every single play and during TV timeouts, it was more her overwhelming ignorance of the game coupled with her compulsion to share that ignorance at 165 decibels that drove me insane. As far as she was concerned, every incomplete pass thrown by the Browns since 2004 was solely the result of interference, and the Browns never held, facemasked or jumped offside. Every field goal was good, every spot was bad, and every play call that didn't gain 20 yards or was a running play was stupid. (Okay, she was usually right about the play calling).

I'll admit that the fact that Ms. Magpie was coyote ugly didn't help matters, nor did the fact that she ratted smokers out to the ushers (a classic a-hole move) and insisted that they toss them out. But the most unnerving thing about Ms. Magpie was the Svengali-like hold that she appeared to have over her boyfriend, whom we learned --again at 165 decibels--actually owned the ticket that she used to find her perch in the stadium week after week.

The dynamic between her and her boyfriend was beyond bizarre. I mean, the guy didn't appear to have been the victim of an industrial accident or an illegal alien dating her for a shot at a Green Card, so I'll never understand what he found so irresistible about the Magpie. I guess it's like Woody Allen said when people asked him why he was dating his girlfriend's daughter: "the heart wants what the heart wants." Uh-huh. Well my heart wanted to get the Hell away from her, and thanks to my buddy the Starfish's sweet talking of the Browns ticket office, we did just that.

I went to my first NFL game when I was 9 years old at War Memorial Stadium in Buffalo (aka, The Rockpile). At that game, I learned that anti-social behavior and the NFL go together like beer and chicken wings. Somebody lit a program on fire and threw it down toward our section. It hit the lady in front of us, setting her early 70s hairdo ablaze. My dad used his coat to put the fire out. Since then, I've seen just about everything from foul mouthed drunks to section-wide brawls to the beer bottle bowl. I was able to take everything in stride, until I met the Magpie.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Football Purgatory Continues

Since the Browns are coming off a bye, I guess it's time for everybody to weigh in with their thoughts on the team. So, for what they're worth, here are mine. The Cleveland Browns stink, and I hate them. Okay, I don't hate them, but in recent years, being a Browns fan has been about as much fun as a root canal--and they do stink.

It may be unfair to dismiss the Browns with a comment like that, but I'm a pissed off season ticket holder, so what are ya gonna do? I will acknowledge that the schedule the Browns have been handed is absolutely brutal. The Browns' losses have come against teams that are a combined 16-7. Unfortunately, it doesn't get any easier. I hope they've had a relaxing bye week, because they now get to face the Denver Broncos, whose defense has allowed one touchdown this season. In fact, the only teams on their schedule with a sub .500 record right now are the Chiefs, the Bucs and the Steelers. Does anyone really think the Steelers are a sub .500 team?

Offensively, the Browns strengths start and pretty much end with the team's receivers. Winslow and Edwards have to be accounted for by every team that the Browns face. Dennis Northcutt doesn't, and with Jurevicius healthy, I share the view of many others that the Browns need to make him the third wide. Jurevicius isn't a burner, but he scores touchdowns, and along with Winslow, he gives the Browns two receivers who are effective red zone threats.

The most glaring weakness on the offensive side of the ball is the offensive line, which if not the worst in football, is damn close. Most of the Browns' other offensive shortcomings are attributable in large part to how terrible the offensive line is. The magnitude of the line's problems is illustrated by the way that Julius Peppers made mincemeat of the guy generally regarded as the team's best lineman (Ryan Tucker).

The Browns don't have a lot of great options along the offensive line, so at most, we're talking about putting a band aid on a gash that needs at least 30 stitches. My guess is that the most positive impact can be made by taking Joe Andruzzi out of the lineup. He was a really good player, but I think he's been beat up pretty bad and it shows. As others have observed, the only viable fix is to do something with Friedman or Fraley. Both have some experience at the guard position, and either is probably preferrable to rookie Isaac Sowells. My vote would be to keep Fraley at center, give Friedman a shot at guard and hope for the best.

What about a trade? The deadline is tomorrow, but if you want to play guts ball, Leonard Davis is reportedly available. Davis has a big reputation, but he makes over $9 million and will be an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season. I doubt very much the Browns want any part of that.

The QB position is a mixed bag. Frye's a great leader with good athletic ability and toughness, but he tries to do too much and makes bad decisions with the game on the line. The coaching staff needs to manage Charlie Frye. He's got the heart of a lion, but the judgment of a teenager, and they need to convince him that Doug Dieken was right a couple of weeks ago when he said that sometimes throwing the ball away and taking an incompletion is the best outcome. I guess that's goes double when your coordinator is Maurice Carthon, huh?

As for the running game, Droughns got off to a slow start, the team has been unable to figure out what to do with Harrison and the play calling has been predictable and uninspiring when it hasn't been laughable. Improving the play of the offensive line will probably make the greatest contribution to improving the Browns' rushing attack. When you can't get your basic running game going because nobody is throwing a block, it's pretty hard to throw in a guy like Harrison. Change of pace players are nice, but you have to have established a pace to change from, if you know what I mean.

There is one X factor that could be added to the Browns' attack, and that's Joshua Cribbs. He's a potentially explosive player who has earned the right to be something more than a fifth receiver. Hey, Maurice, just a thought--how about using a former college QB the next time you want to throw a halfback pass? Cribbs has proven that he's fast, tough and can run through traffic. Give him the ball every now and again. If I were a defensive coordinator, he'd scare me a lot more on third down than Harrison.

Defensively, I think the Browns have been surprisingly strong against the pass and surprisingly weak against the run. McGinest and Washington have been somewhat disappointing, but I think the defense is improving overall. Kamerion Wimbley and D'Qwell Jackson look like they are going to develop into something. I actually feel fairly positive about the direction of the Browns defense. They played well against Baltimore and Carolina, and did a nice job during the second half at Oakland. The most important thing that I think they need to do is get healthy.

So, let's say the Browns do everything that everyone has suggested, and even replace Maurice Carthon. Does that get them a better record than last year's 6-10? I doubt it. Let's face it gang, the bottom line is that we're destined to spend a lot more time in football Purgatory. What fun.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

NBA Rule Changes

The NBA is reportedly advising teams of a number of rule changes that are going to go into effect this season. The league's new anti-whining crusade is probably the rule change that's getting the most attention, but there are several others that may turn out to be important.

Notable changes include crackdowns on traveling, palming (when was the last time you saw that called in the NBA?) and hand and forearm checking. The league is also trying to address my biggest complaint about how basketball is played by limiting teams to one full timeout during the last two minutes of the game.

As should be expected in a league run by a Wall Street lawyer, there are also a number of rule changes that will appeal only to guys who think "casual" means wearing a blazer without a tie. These include requiring players to tuck their shirts in before they approach the scorers table, prohibiting wearing sweatbands anywhere but on the wrist, and banning rubber bands. These changes will undoubtedly prove as popular with the players as the new ball.

Of course, none of these changes addresses the biggest problem with the NBA rules -- the guys who enforce them on the court are the worst officials in all of pro sports. Even after last year's Super Bowl fiasco, I've still got to give the nod to the NBA refs for overall incompetence. I don't think this is a close call -- I mean, when Ralph Nader and Mark Cuban see eye-to-eye on something, then I think we can all agree that it's not a controversial point.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

A Little Trickeration

I love trick plays--okay, maybe not those involving Lawrence Vickers--but I really do have a soft spot for gridiron eccentricities. The teams that I've helped coach have run a number of different trick plays and formations, and while they haven't always worked, they've always given the other team something to waste practice time on. More importantly, they've made the game more fun for our own players.

Trick plays have seen a resurgence in the NFL during recent years, as teams like the Patriots and Steelers have made them a regular part of their offensive game plan. Just last week, Donovan McNabb put the Eagles ahead to stay against Dallas with this flea flicker to Reggie Brown, while the Dolphins' bizarre attempt at a two point conversion against the Texans has generated a lot of controversy in Miami.

There also seem to have been an unusual number of trick plays run in college football this year, particularly in the SEC. Arkansas pulled off trick plays against Auburn (here) and Alabama (here) this season, and Ole Miss scored its first touchdown of the season off of what has become known as the "McCuster Fluster."

Trick plays may have renewed popularity in the NFL and NCAA, but they've always been a staple of high school football. Given that fact, perhaps it's not surprising that the most surreal trick play I've seen in a long time is "Wrong Ball." Check it out here. While this play is entertaining to watch, I think the guy in the comments section who says that it's illegal under current rules is right. If it isn't, it should be.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

There was an interesting article in last Friday's Washington Post (via Sportsfilter) about the high school game a few weeks back in which that kid from West Virginia rushed for 678 yards. Apparently, the kid had 300 yards rushing and four touchdowns in the first half of the blowout.

Leading 35 to 0 at halftime, he pretty much figured that his night was over. Instead, his coach went to a no huddle offense in an effort to get him the record. Not only that, but the team refused to return punts in order to set the kid up for longer runs. The final score ended up 64-0.

The coach still doesn't seem to understand why everyone is so upset about this, or even why the opposing team refused to shake hands with his team when the game ended. Let me enlighten him--it's about respecting the game and respecting the opponent.

The coach thought it would be "fun" for an undersized back from a small school to set a record. You know what I think would be fun? Having his school celebrate this great accomplishment by being made a part of the Ohio v. USA high school football event next season. I'm sure that St. X, Glenville, St. Ignatius, Moeller, St. Edward, Colerain or Massillon would be delighted to play Mighty Matewan (which appears to have 29 players on its roster) on its own terms.

No huddle and no mercy, right coach? Game on.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Blue Jackets Links

The Blue Jackets whomped the snot out of the Phoenix Coyotes tonight, 5 to 1. I outed myself as a reluctant Jackets fan last season, and now I'm adding some Blue Jackets links, because it's my blog and I like hockey. So there. In addition to the official site, I'm linking to two Blue Jackets blogs, Army of the Ohio and End of the Bench. Both are worth reading if you're interested in the Jackets or the NHL.

Squandered Opportunity

Games like yesterday's show you how far the Cleveland Browns still have to go. Carolina wasn't all that (although I can't say the same for Julius Peppers), and the Browns had a great opportunity to move into the bye week on a roll. They didn't do that, and the biggest reason that they didn't is that the team's offensive line may well be the worst in the NFL.

The Browns obviously have some talent at receiver and running back, and if Charlie Frye has an infuriating tendency to make bad 4th quarter decisions, remember that he's usually making those decisions with 5 guys in his face. Say what you will about Frye, he's still the first physically and mentally tough QB we've seen in this town for at least 15 years. But until somebody throws a friggin' block, that talent and toughness doesn't mean a damn thing. You can't play 6 on 11, and most weeks, that's what the Browns do.

The blame for this can be laid at the feet of Phil Savage. Yes, he got a bad break when Bentley went down, but he's also the guy who continues the Browns' proud tradition of spending high draft picks on faceless wide receivers like Travis Wilson. Do you realize that in two years, the only linemen that Phil Savage has drafted have been 4th rounder Isaac Sowells (a project) and 7th rounder Jonathan Dunn (a stiff)? Hey Phil, wanna win? THEN DRAFT SOME LINEMEN ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE DRAFT!! In fact, draft two or three of them.

The Browns finally look like they've got a core group of guys who can play and who give a damn. The team squandered an opportunity to get a win on Sunday, but if the Browns don't want to squander the long-term opportunity that this core group represents, they better damn well find some linemen who can play the game.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Huh ?

Wow! I just finished reading the Rhino's prediction. He's either Nostradamus, or alien bodysnatchers have kidnapped my friend.

Carolina will beat the Browns like a trailer park wife.

We'll just be witnesses to the crime. The final score will be 34-10, and the inexorable march to a top five pick in next year's draft continues.

I just hope Frye escapes serious injury.

Upset Special

You know, I actually think the Browns have a shot today. Maybe I'm just giddy over an 18 point comeback against the worst team in the league, or maybe I've listened too much to the round-the-clock propaganda broadcasts airing on WTAM, but I think this is one game where an upset is a real possibility.

That seems crazy, doesn't it? After stumbling out of the gate, Carolina's on a bit of a roll. The Panthers have won two straight, and it's probably not a coincidence that those wins occurred after Steve Smith returned from his hamstring injury. Smith caught 10 balls for 87 yards last week against the Soon to be San Antonio Saints, and appears to be healthy again. With a gamebreaker like Smith on the field, it's not just the passing game that improves. The Panthers' ground attack was anemic during Smith's absence, but his return helped pave the way for an impressive 167 rushing yards against the Saints. Those numbers included a 105 yard performance from DeShaun Foster.

Defensively, Carolina is full of big names and big press. Kris Jenkins is a former pro bowler. Julius Peppers is tied for the NFL lead with five sacks. According to the media, DT Damoine Lewis is a force to be reckoned with in passing situations, and overall, the defensive line is one of the NFL's deepest. Hell, the defense is reportedly so ferocious that Chris Simms even exited a game against the Panthers minus one spleen.

Ooohh, scary! But on the other hand, this is a team that Drew Brees lit up for almost 350 yards passing last week, and that still hasn't won a game against a decent opponent. The vaunted Carolina defense ranks 11th in the NFC, and has given up over 340 yards per game.

Now, as for the Browns, we all know the story line. The team's secondary is banged up, and will have to try to slow down Smith with a makeshift group of DBs. That's a big job, but I think the Browns might just have a chance if they can get some kind of a pass rush together on defense, and play a little ball control on offense. I think they've got a chance to do both of those things.

Much has been made of the Browns' injuries, but the Panthers also have injury problems, especially on the offensive line. That could also make things interesting, especially if Kamerion Wimbley continues to be the kind of pass rusher that Cleveland expected Courtney Brown to be when they drafted him. If they can put pressure on Delhomme, the Browns have a shot to contain Smith, or at least minimize the damage that he causes. The Browns may have a tougher job stuffing Carolina's running game, but I'm hoping that what we saw in key situations during the second half of last week's game wasn't a mirage.

A big part of the plan to stop Smith and company has to be to keep the ball out of Carolina's hands. In other words, the Browns have to be able to run the football. Why do I think they've got a chance to do that? Well, believe it or not, Arizona and Tampa Bay are the only NFC teams with worse defenses against the run than Carolina. Furthermore, there's the Reuben Droughns factor. Droughns had a big game against Oakland last week, and he loves to play against Carolina--his career best rushing performance came against the Panthers.

Finally, there's the confidence factor. The Browns are building on two weeks of decent performances, and are starting to think that they can win in the NFL. That's an unusual feeling for this franchise, and based on the recent performances of guys like Frye, Winslow, Edwards and Wimbley, they may have the talent to justify that confidence. Let's hope they can run with it.

Sure, it's a stretch, but I'm picking the upset. Feel free to heap scorn and ridicule on me in six hours, but in the unlikely event that I'm right, you heard it here first.

Browns 17, Panthers 10.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Lost treasure

Buck ONeil, Negro League legend, the first black coach in MLB, and the undisputed star of Ken Burns' doumentary, "Baseball," died yesterday at age 94. Because I love baseball and its history, I was always aware of O'Neil through his numbers and where that put him in a historical context, but like most people, I never knew the man until "Baseball." Since then, I've been charmed and taught by the guy every time he smiled and opened his mouth.

The things that made him such a endearing subject in "Baseball," as a treasured piece of baseball history---his unabashed joy in the game that has not always been kind to him and the air of almost naive innocence that accompanied his words--- even made him more compelling as the game moved farther away from its fans throughout the steroid era. His humility, kindness, and the generous nature of his spirit seemed so out of place amidst the legions of small men who now own and play the game.

In "Field of Dreams," Terrance Mann said: "The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again." If that is at all true, it is only so because of people like Buck O'Neil.

Upon hearing of O'Neil's death, Reggie Jackson compared him to Rachael Robinson, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa. That might seem like hyperbole, but I think I understand what Reggie meant. Buck taught that, despite the injustices and inevitable bad moments, there is so much joy in baseball and in life, he just had to smile.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

That's a Relief

I wish I could get worked up about this win, I really do, but all I can muster is a little relief. I'll take it though, because at least it keeps alive a glimmer of hope that this season might actually amount to something.

No, by "amount to something," I don't mean a playoff berth, a winning season, or any other utterly unrealistic expectations. I'm not that big of an idiot. What I'm looking for out of this season is something to justify my belief in Savage and Crennel, and that means progress on the field. Specifically, more than six wins. The odds are stacked against that happening, but I think (and hope) that most Browns fans are so fed up with the steady diet of spin and bullshit that the prior regime force fed to us that we'll only believe the team's getting better when we see it in wins and losses.

There were plenty of positives to take away from today's game if you're a "glass is half full" person. The special teams were, in fact, pretty special. Kellen Winslow looks to be a legitimate red zone force. The 2005 edition of Reuben Droughns finally showed up. Joe Jurevicius showed why he caught 10 TDs last season. Charlie Frye was tough and showed a nice touch at times, although if he tries to force another end zone pass late in the fourth quarter I swear I'm going to...um...uh...scream impotently at my TV and have another beer.

Maybe the most astonishing positive of the day was the fact that with the exception of his inexplicable decision to hand the ball off to Droughns on 3rd and 15 in the second quarter, Maurice Carthon was competent, and at times even inventive.

Then again, it was the Raiders. And if, like me, you measure the current regime's progress by wins and losses, then you've got to admit that looking at the schedule, six more Browns' wins are going to be damn hard to find. Come to think of it, the next win is pretty hard to find. But you know what? You can't get seven wins without getting your first one, and the Browns managed to do that today.

Here we go Brownies! Here we go! WOOF ! WOOF!

For the first time in the '06-'07 season, the Browns are prepared for a game in which the outcome is actually somewhat in doubt. Actually, there shouldn't be too much doubt about this one. The Browns should win and win big. I think my pal, the Rhino, has gone back to his pessimistic ways with his prediction. Me, I think this game should be a piece of cake.

The Browns should win 24-10. Chuckles and the boys will get to pretend that they're a big time offense for 60 minutes. The Raiders are the class of the NFL when it comes to ineptitude.

The only real advantages the Raiders have going into the game are home field and Maurice Carthon. Even though their team sucks, the fans will be out and boisterous as hell. After all, the Raiders' fans are just as hungry for a glimmer of hope as those forlorn souls littered around the north coast. The young guys can't let the noise or change in time zones distract them. The second point can't be easily dismissed. To be blunt, Carthon sucks. Admittedly, it's hard to make an offense go with a suspect line, but he knew or should have known what he had on the line from day one or he should have been able to adapt, both in the short term, as well as long. In addition to his poor use of available personnel in important situations, his choice of plays and when he chooses to run them have been strange. That's a pretty lethal combination. Carthon needs to show his next employer that he's not the worthless bum the people in Cleveland think he is. I think he'll do a passable job only because the Raiders will give the offense so many chances.

So, the Browns should win, and the Raiders should have their choice between Brady Quinn and Troy Smith. The Browns are going to be a good bet to be in the spot to get the other one, but that's for another day.


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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Best Show in Football

One of the things that many hard core fans like about baseball is the way that the game's statistics allow comparisons between today's players and those who played a generation or more ago. People like Bill James and organizations like The Society for American Baseball Research have turned the analysis of baseball statistics into an art form, and books like Moneyball show that they have also had a profound influence on how major league baseball teams are run.

Whatever other contributions Bill James may have made to the game, he's given fans hours of enjoyment through his books, especially his Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract, which is one of the most comprehensive and interesting books about baseball history that I've ever read.

I used to think that football didn't lend itself to this kind of statistical analysis. The seasons were too short and there were were too many differences between how the game was played over the years to allow people to make meaningful comparisons of players and teams across eras. But ever since The Hidden Game of Football was first published in 1988, football scholars have been trying to outdo their baseball brethren in using statistics to reach objective conclusions about the game and the guys who've played it. If you want to get a sense for what they're up to, check out the Football Outsiders website.

Although I was aware of this hard core statistical analysis of football, for some reason I found it a lot less interesting than its baseball counterpart. That was until I read The Best Show in Football: The 1946-1955 Cleveland Browns -- Pro Football's Greatest Dynasty by Andy Piascik. Piascik tells the story of those great Browns teams in an entertaining and insightful way. He makes a compelling statistical case that the AAFC was every bit the NFL's equal during its brief history, and that while Paul Brown's willingness to sign black players may not have sprung from an enlightened racial attitude, it proved to be one of the major factors in allowing the Browns to separate themselves from the rest of the league.

Those are interesting tidbits, but what makes Piascik's book really interesting is how he uses statistical tools to demonstrate just how excellent the Browns and some of their players were. One of the best illustrations of this is the case that he makes for Mac Speedie's induction into the Hall of Fame. Fortunately, his analysis of Speedie is available online, and you can read it here.

Piascik also makes a very interesting argument for the proposition that the Cleveland Browns of the 1940s and 1950s were head and shoulders above every other football dynasty, including the 1960s Packers, the 1970s Steelers, and the 1980s 49ers. You'll have to buy his book to get the details on that, but it's worth the money. If you're a Cleveland Browns fan, this is a book that definitely belongs in your book shelf.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Uh oh.

Just before 8:00 am today, Tampa Bay's GM picked heads, but the coin landed tails up. That means the Browns now have the third pick in the draft. The draftniks' usual suspects for that spot go like this: JaMarcus Russell (QB), Joe Thomas (OT), Brady Quinn (QB) and Adrian Peterson (RB).

I'm not too thrilled with last year's #3 pick.

So, here's to hoping that the Browns don't screw up this one.

Friday, February 23, 2007

NHL-Style Alernative Dispute Resolution

Everybody's seen this on Sportscenter, but here's the call as it happened. I know I'm a barbarian, but I love a good old fashioned hockey brawl every now and again. The hit on Chris Drury wasn't that bad, but Buffalo's reaction to the hit is further evidence that they're ratcheting up the intensity after sleepwalking through the last month or so of the season.

I'm only sorry that I've got my own hockey game to play tomorrow night, or else I'd be tempted to plunk down the money for the NHL Center Ice package just to watch the rematch in Ottawa. How ugly could it get? We're talkin' NBA All-Star Weekend.

I can't believe that none of the Senators jumped in when Andrew Peters went after Ray Emery (who deserves a lot of credit for his guts). In fact, there appeared to be several Senators who never even dropped their gloves. That's not cool, and their fans have noticed. Perhaps the Senators remember what happened the last time the sent their top goon in to tangle with Peters. I've never seen a player go after a goalie, but then again, Andrew Peters is the closest thing to one of the Hanson brothers that we've got left in the NHL.

Update: Deadspin has a link to the Buffalo broadcast team's coverage of the fight. Listen to long-time Buffalo broadcaster Rick Jeanneret's call of the melee. I don't know about you, but I think he may have enjoyed it just a little.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Getting Off The Road to Nowhere

Great week for Browns news, huh? First, we get confirmation of something we've known for a long time but couldn't bring ourselves to admit--we can forget about LeCharles Bentley for next season. Then we find out that the little "cleaning out" that needed to get done on Kellen Knievel's knee was actually major surgery that may sideline him until training camp or even beyond.

In the midst of all this, most of the mock drafts that I've seen have Cleveland using the third or fourth pick in the draft to select injury prone Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson. They can't be seriously thinking about doing something like that, can they? As far as I'm concerned, the Browns could clone Jim Brown, shoot him up with human growth hormone, and give him a machete and a can of mace and they still wouldn't have a running game worth a damn. They need to find some linemen and stop looking for a quick fix that's going to keep them on the road to nowhere.

Adrian Peterson may turn out to be a terrific NFL back. In fact, put him in the right situation, and that's probably the most likely outcome. I'm only saying that Cleveland is not that situation. Yet fans and, I fear, the front office continue to look for the Messiah--that one player who is going to lead us to the promised land. That kind of a quest leads to dumb decisions. Adrian Peterson would be one of them.

The good news is that there is at least one pick that would be worse than Peterson; the bad news is that this pick is also apparently on Phil Savage's radar screen. Who am I talking about? Who else-- Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn. There's some talk being bandied about in the media that the Browns might select Quinn. I'm a big fan of the Irish, but I'm not a big fan of Bradycakes. It would surprise me if he turned out to be a big star in the NFL, but he's almost guaranteed to be a complete disaster here. Just ask Tim Couch what happens when a team selects a franchise QB without commiting to surround him with a capable offensive line.

Offensive linemen aren't glamorous, and offensive lines aren't built in a day. It's going to take a combination of draft picks, smart free agent signings (as opposed to blockbuster free agent signings) and some luck in order for the Browns to build a line. It's hard work and it is going to take a lot of time. But if the Browns ever expect to build a contender instead of a laughingstock, it's the only realistic option.

There is no Messiah. Trade down, stock up on linemen and keep your nose to the grindstone.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Soccer Talk

My daughter plays soccer pretty much year round, so I've spent a lot of time watching soccer games over the past several years. I'm a pretty hard core football and baseball guy, but I've learned to appreciate the game of soccer. At the same time, I've also become increasingly creeped out by the general level of kookiness of many soccer parents.

No, it isn't the pathological stage mothering of some soccer parents that I'd like to talk about, although I could fill volumes on that. What has provoked me to write is how into the whole soccer scene some of these people are, how utterly ridiculous they look, and how borderline delusional they act.

One of the things about the youth soccer scene that's particularly ridiculous are the expressions that these folks pick up. For example, when somebody makes a good play, they say something like "thank you" instead of "nice play," or "unlucky" if a good pass or shot goes astray. These expressions are undoubtedly perfectly appropriate if you are a member of the British aristocracy, but they sound truly absurd coming out of the mouths of upper middle class yentas from the Cleveland and Akron suburbs. Some of these folks take it even further, and dress themselves from head to toe in soccer togs, even though it's painfully apparent that they've never set foot on a soccer field in their entire lives.

Then there's the "how many games did your kid play today?" one upsmanship that goes on among the more disturbed segment of the soccer crowd. I was at a game a few weeks ago when a guy I'd never met sidled up to me and started explaining how he had started his day with a 7:30 a.m. game, was now on his third game of the day, and had another one at 8:00 p.m. that night. I guess I should point out that he was wearing a Manchester United hat, a soccer sweatsuit, and Adidas indoor shoes. I managed to escape while he was telling me about his two kids who play in the Olympic Development Program or "ODP," as the kiddie soccer cognoscenti call it. I got as far away from him as I could during the game, although there was no mistaking his shouts of "unlucky!" and "thank you!" that echoed through the indoor facility.

Then, there's the whole Walsh thing. Here's the deal: Walsh Jesuit High School is without a doubt the premier high school girls soccer program in Ohio and perhaps the finest in the nation. Now, there have got to be about 1,000 girls who play on various premier youth soccer teams in the Akron and Cleveland area. The parents of approximately 750 of those girls are totally convinced that their daughters are going to play soccer for Walsh. There are 25 players on Walsh's varsity roster. You do the math.

So, I guess my advice to everybody would be that if you see a minivan with a soccer ball sticker on its window, make sure you stay out of its way and do nothing to provoke it. Better safe than "unlucky."

Friday, February 16, 2007

Keith Foulke Pulls a Bob Hallen

WTAM is reporting that Keith Foulke has retired. Thanks a lot, Keith. I guess that means that the closer's job is Joe Borowski's to lose, which isn't the most comforting news in the world when you consider that the Tribe signed him only after he flunked a physical with Philadelphia.

It's not LeCharles Bentley's torn patella tendon, but it's still not the best news to start Spring Training with, is it?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Great Communicator

Old Gipper Reagan had nothing on The General, Bobby Knight. After his Texas Tech team stunned Texas A&M in a squeaker, Knight pointed out to the national media that were going away disappointed like this:

“You came here to write a big story about A&M and we just (expletive) you.”

He's great and right to the point.

He didn't ask me, but...

...Here's what I'd suggest to Phil Savage. You've got a lot of dough for free agents. I think it's around $26 Million. Spend it. Here's how:

1. Offer huge money to get Max Starks (OT---Pittsburgh) as a free agent. He's restricted. Get him or make Pittsburgh go all out to keep him. He's only 25 and could be a stud for a long time.

2. Make sure you end up with at least two starting offensive linemen out of free agency. In addition to or instead of Starks, Eric Steinbach (G/OT---Cincinnati) would look mighty good in a pumpkin helmet. He's really a guard, but was pressed into duty as a tackle and did pretty well. I'd be happy with him as a guard or tackle. He's an unrestricted free agent and only 27. So, it's just gonna be the number of zeroes on his offer sheet. Leonard Davis (OT'---Arizona) is also unrestricted. He's a bit of an underachiever considering that he was the # 2 pick in the draft, but he's only 29 and is 6'6" and about 340 pounds. He knows how to pass block. The other guy Savage should consider is Luke Petitgout (OT---NYG). The Giants just let him go today in a cost-cutting move. He's 30 and is better than any tackle in Cleveland. That's also true of Mike Gandy (OT---Chicago). This may be the deepest group of talented free agent offensive linemen in years. Don't blow it by failing to sign a couple.

3. Get an impact defensive player like Dwight Freeney (DE---Indianapolis), or better yet, grab local boy, Nate Clements (CB---Buffalo). They're both unrestricted free agents and young. Either one upgrades the defense and gives it something it needs. Justin Smith of Cincinnati is also a free agent, but it looks like Cinci will put a franchise tag on him.

4. Get some real talent in the draft. If you get blockers through free agency, take Adrian Peterson and give him the damn ball... a lot. If you don't get linemen in free agency, trade the #3 or #4 pick and get as many hosses as you can.

5. Make it clear to Crennel that he has to take charge and just win.

6. Lastly, slap Braylon Edwards and tell him to shut the f*** up.

Not that.

I can't abide another term with Marty at the helm. He got booted before because of his arrogance and unwillingness to learn. He hasn't changed.

Marty's teams were generally undisciplined on the field, and he drove me crazy with his version of "bend don't break" defense.

Marty's a pretty good coach to turn around a crappy team. Then you have to fire him, quell the dissension, and get a new coach to get you over the playoff hump.

Let's save ourselves a lot of heartache. Don't hire Marty.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Martyball Redux? Hell YES!

The San Diego Chargers fired Marty Schottenheimer last night. Rich Swerbinsky has an article today suggesting that the Cleveland Browns should snap him up. Rich, count me in. I think the Cleveland Browns are tailor-made for one of Marty's patented franchise turnarounds. I think that like the teams he inherited during his first stint here, and then subsequently in Kansas City and San Diego, the talent is better than the team's performance would indicate.

Sure, like everybody else, I'm painfully aware of The Drive and The Fumble and the rest of Marty's post-season mishaps. As far as I'm concerned, postseason heartbreak is infinitely preferable to dreary incompetence. And when it comes to the regular season, Marty's not just competent, he's brilliant.

Marty Schottenheimer started his career as a head coach by taking a 1-7 Browns team and going 4-4. He followed that up with four consecutive playoff appearances, two Central Division titles and two AFC Championship game appearances. When Art Modell fired him, he moved on to Kansas City. In his first year there, he took a team that went 4-11-1 in 1988 and coached it to an 8-7-1 record, good enough for second in the AFC West. Marty averaged 10 wins a year during his tenure with Kansas City and made the playoffs seven times in the 1990s--something matched only by the San Francisco 49ers. Then it was on to Washington for a one year stint as the Redskins head coach (8-8). Marty then signed on with the Chargers, where (surprise!) he quickly turned a team that had gone 5-11 in 2001 into one of the AFC's elite franchises.

Based on the team's inability to attract high-profile assistant coaches, it looks like the rest of the NFL has already figured out that the Crennel regime is taking on water. I'm guessing that free agents are going to send out a similar message. So, there's no time like the present to preempt the Romeo Crennel death watch.

One of the most compelling arguments for keeping Romeo Crennel around for another year is that if the Browns replace him, they'll start from square one and begin another multi-year rebuilding process. I guess that argument assumes that you buy into the idea that the Browns have made "progress," as the increasingly delusional Phil Savage asserted in his last press conference. But even if you're inclined to share a drink of Phil's Kool-Aid, you've got to admit that Schottenheimer provides the team with a unique opportunity to shorten the rebuilding process ordinarily associated with a coaching change by several years. Marty's got a proven track record of taking over bad teams and making them contenders very quickly. He hasn't done it just once, but three times for three very different organizations.

It's time for Cleveland to offer Marty Schottenheimer a chance to finish his head coaching career where it started. As a Browns fan, I know I'll need medication to get through the season, but I'd rather reach for Roll-Aids than No-Doze.

Friday, February 09, 2007

We Need a New Song

Did anybody else think that Billy Joel's rendition of The Star Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl was kind of odd? Maybe it's just because his style is so distinctive, but it seemed to me that Joel turned the song into something that sounded like Piano Man meets the 4th of July ("so they sit at the bar, and stuff bread in my jar, and say 'man, our flag was still there'"). Anyway, after watching this latest nationally televised mangling of our national anthem, you can count me among the ranks of those who think we need a new one, or at least a different song to sing before sporting events.

Aside from egomaniac pop stars who trying to make the song their own and the occasional Roseanne Barr incident, the biggest problem with The Star Spangled Banner is that even the handful of Americans who actually know the words can't sing it to save their lives and don't want to try.

Did you ever notice that the most stirring renditions of our national anthem involve thousands of people listening to somebody else sing the song? When Whitney Houston sang it so memorably at the 1991 Super Bowl, it was all about her voice. The most impressive bit of audience participation in the national anthem that I can recall took place at the 1991 NHL All-Star game in Chicago, and the audience didn't sing, they cheered.

It isn't that way in other countries. You probably saw what the Canadians did during last year's Stanley Cup, but that's far from the only example. In Cardiff, Wales, 75,000 people (including the players) sing the Welsh national anthem before Rugby matches in a language that most of them don't even speak. Here are 60,000 Englishmen practically screaming God Save The Queen at Old Trafford. Even the jaded French can belt out La Marseillaise when the occasion calls for it -- although it usually takes a crowd of boorish Nazis to get them going.

There are a couple of things that are great about these anthems. First, they're real easy to sing and, second, they sound better when the singers are drunk. Those are both extremely important considerations if you want your song to be sung by a crowd at a sporting event.

So, what song replaces The Star Spangled Banner at sporting events? America the Beautiful is a strong contender, but it flunks the "sounds better when you've been drinking" test. I like Woody Guthrie's This Land is Your Land, but it's too political for a lot of folks and would never fly. I guess I'd go with God Bless America, (sorry Woody) which is a song that easily satisfies both tests.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

National Signing Day

Yesterday was the first day that Division I recruits could formally commit to colleges, and the media handed out grades almost immediately. Recruiting guru Tom Lemming said that Tennessee and Florida had the top classes, followed by USC, Texas and Notre Dame. Scouts, Inc.'s top five consisted of USC, Florida, Texas, South Carolina and Tennessee. The Fighting Irish fell to eighth on the Scouts list.

The SEC feasted this year, garnering 32 out of the top 100 prospects. No Big Ten team cracked the top ten in Lemming's list. That School Up North ranked sixth on Scouts' list, while the Buckeyes ranked 20th. Happily, not a single Ohio kid signed with Michigan this year. The Vest grabbed 10 of them, including Brandon Saine from Piqua, this year's Mr. Football. Saine's 6'1" and 220, and runs a blistering 4.3 forty. So, if you Buckeye fans are depressed about the team's overall ranking, here's Saine's highlight video, which ought to cheer you up:

While you Buckeye fans are watching Saine, those of us who follow the Fighting Irish will keep our eyes on QB Jimmy Clausen:

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Plain Dealer Embarrasses Itself Again

There's an interesting contrast between today's Akron Beacon-Journal article on Gene Hickerson's selection to the Hall of Fame and the one that appears in The Plain Dealer. While Pat McManamon's column celebrates Hickerson's achievement with stories about his playing days and his dry wit, Mary Kay Cabot decides that the best way to honor Hickerson is to make him an object of pity.

Apparently, Gene Hickerson's memory is not what it once was. Pat McManamon notes Hickerson's condition, and says that "Hickerson is suffering from memory loss and showing symptoms of early Alzheimer's disease, but he has not been diagnosed." That's all he says about Hickerson's physical condition. Instead of pitying Hickerson, McManamon writes about his days as a Cleveland Brown, and about his decency and humility as a person.

Cabot, on the other hand, wallows in Hickerson's misfortune to such an extent that she makes me think she's trying to emulate Pulitzer Prize winning weeper Connie Schultz. (By the way, don't miss today's column from Mrs. Sherrod Brown. It's vintage Connie--she's encouraging all of us to cry a river over a dead horsie). Anyway, Cabot goes so far as to contend that Hickerson's ailments result from an all-consuming bitterness over the injustice of having to wait 30 years for his induction. She's aided and abetted in her role as amateur diagnostician by the dunderheaded Dick Schafrath, who should have known better than to open his mouth in front of a PD reporter.

I am truly sorry to learn of Gene Hickerson's ailments, but it seems to me that if ever there was a time not to have a pity party for Hickerson, this is it. Unfortunately, I guess the bottom line is that The Plain Dealer has been throwing turds in people's punch bowls for so long that they just can't figure out how to do anything else. What a shame.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Congratulations, Number 66! Congratulations as well to the voters who had the good sense to finally vote him in.

Now about Mac Speedie...

Kuechenberg Can Wait

I read in Pat McManamon's column on Friday that there's at least one Hall of Fame voter who refuses to vote for Gene Hickerson's induction until Bob Kuechenberg gets in. That voter doesn't deserve a ballot.

Bob Kuechenberg was a very good player on some great teams and he certainly deserves to be in the Hall, but not at the expense of Gene Hickerson. Kuechenberg made All-Pro only twice, while Hickerson was selected five times. Gene Hickerson made the 1960s All-Decade team at his position; Kuechenberg did not make the 1970s All-Decade team at his. Heck, whatever Kuechenberg's credentials might be, the fact remains that he wasn't even the best guard on his own team. That honor belongs to Larry Little, who has been a member of the HOF since 1993.

The biggest problem I've got with the idea that Kuechenberg is somehow more worthy than Hickerson is that, frankly, guards from the 1970s are simply overrepresented in Canton. John Hannah, Gene Upshaw, Larry Little, Joe DeLamileurre, and Tom Mack are all in the Hall of Fame, but if anything, those players were less integral to their teams than the guys in the 1960s were--and players from that era are vastly underrepresented. In fact, the only pure guard from the 1960s who is a member of the Hall is Billy Shaw of the Buffalo Bills, and he played his entire career in the AFL.

It's inexcusable that in an era when the Lombardi Sweep dominated pro football, none of the guys who made that play go have been enshrined. Gene Hickerson's not there. Jerry Kramer's not there. Howard Mudd's not there. Fuzzy Thurston's not there. Yet half a dozen guys from a time after the pulling guard's signature play was made obsolete by moving the hash marks in have been found worthy of enshrinement. I'm not knocking the 1970s guys; all I'm saying is that if there are five of them in the Hall, shouldn't the best guard of the 1960s get in before they add a sixth from that decade?

Voting Gene Hickerson in today would be a long overdue step toward giving the guys who made the NFL's running game go back in the 1960s the credit they deserve.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Max & Ruby for Hadley

My sweet niece Hadley turned 5 years old. I am just smitten with her....she is so special and so much fun to be around. Hadley is like a good girlfriend. She calls me up with her sweet & adorable voice and invites me to lunch....and if anyone knows me...they know I love to do lunch! When my sister, her mother, told me Hadley's birthday was going to be Max & Ruby, she asked if I could make her something with the characters. I knew Hadley needed some more Aunt Hope bling and set out to make her a silver soldered Max & Ruby necklace. Beauty might come in the form of a niece or possibly a nice plate of truffles, but my photos of my jewelry creations really lack something to be desired. Below is the picture of Hadley's birthday necklace. I know she will really like it and I will be thrilled watching her love it.
The blurry but oh so specail Max & Ruby necklace. I hope you are able to create special pieces for loved ones in your family. The joy that comes from giving is such a wonderful feeling. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday afternoon.

stephanie said...

Very cute. I need to remember that soldered necklaces created to reflect special interests is always the perfect gift! You rock, girlie..

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

So cute! I bet she'll love it. She's blessed to have you as an aunt! I can't believe she is 5! I remember when she was born!

Kris said...

I'm singing the Max and Ruby song now in my head! My little one and I love that show. Max is a pistol! Egads! I know why to many Noggin showtunes :)
Sooo cute!


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Peluso Microphone Lab VTB Pop Filter MFR# VTB-Pop
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Peluso Microphone Lab VTB Pop Filter Peluso Microphone Lab VTB Pop Filter
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Vintage Sewing Patterns

Butterick 4187 B

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Butterick 4187 1940s Boy's Two-Piece Suit: Two-piece button-on suit. The button-front blouse top has a convertible neckline; short cuffed sleeves (A); long shirt sleeves (B and C). Shorts button to the blouse top. Body of blouse is in contrast (B). Blouse and shorts contrast (C). 12 unprinted pattern pieces.

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Vintage Sewing Patterns

Simplicity 9147 A

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Simplicity 9147 A

Simplicity 9147; ©1979; Misses' Super Jiffy Front-Wrap Dress and Sash: Dress with kimono sleeves has pockets in side seams, top-stitching and self sash. V. 1 has long sleeves with elastic casings. V. 2 has below elbow length sleeves.

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The Viptela Fabric

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Please visit us at http://bookpromotionservices.com/

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Blog Post - What does the "Occupy" movement mean to me?: From Huffinton Post picture of Wall Street Protestors I.. http://bit.ly/qwNwMJ

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invasion of the paramount: day ten

hello and welcome to my tenth and final day of programming chosen by the fine folks of the paramount theatre. the anchor leg of this relay is being run by aaron ward, development associate at the paramount, and we start off with george clooney's directorial debut, confessions of a dangerous mind (2002).

it's based on game show magnate chuck barris' batshit crazy autobiography in which he claimed he was a covert CIA operative. in between developing game shows and lowering the overall IQ of the american television viewing public in the 1970s, he was, according to him, traveling the world at the CIA's behest, carrying out assassinations, thirty-three in all. he often used his television production role as cover, frequently rewarding contestants with trips to politically sensitive destinations on which he served as their chaperone. in between the murders and gene, gene, the dancing machine, he found himself torn between two women, one representing the stable domesticity that barris desired but couldn't commit to and one representing the cutthroat cloak-and-dagger world that a man of his peculiar talents would find irresistible. vitagraph favorite sam rockwell is excellent as barris, all his tics turned up a notch to capture the twitchy hustler energy that the real barris overflowed with. clooney's direction has kind of a first-timer feel to it, though. you can definitely see him lifting moves from the more prominent names he worked for previously as an actor. at times it is a bit junior varsity steven soderbergh. it could be worse, though, and i really enjoy what he and screenwriter charlie kaufmann mined out of the book. this is kind of a sad and desperate story and, appropriately, the self-aggrandizement and paranoia is never eclipsed by the black comedy. it's probably a lot more fascinating, in general, to kids like me that actually grew up with the dating game, the newlywed game and especially the gong show on their television regularly. on the gong show we got a daily dose of his zany schtick as he emceed the worst talent show you've ever seen, a parade of people who wanted nothing more than to be on television and be "famous" but had little to no discernible talent. as it turns out, the empire he built on his exploitation of these people had nothing on the kingdom he built in his own deluded mind where he was the most attention-starved of them all. or not, if it is all true. i almost don't want to know for sure.

and, finally, we have luis mandoki's innocent voices (2004).

we examine the theme of rebellion and strife in latin america as seen from a child's point of view for the second time this week. unlike day six's machuca (2004), though, this one finds the kids much more directly in the line of fire. the setting is the salvadoran civil war of the early 1980s and the story is told from the point of view of chava, an eleven year-old boy who lives with his family in a village that seems to be ground zero in the conflict between the salvadoran army and the guerrillas. the salvadoran military at the time made it a practice to impress all boys into service once they reached the age of twelve, so chava is staring directly down the barrel of that if he manages to survive the daily/nightly firefights and bombings that are ripping his village to shreds. ultimately, chava and his friends elect to follow the guerrillas but are captured by the national army and marched to a remote spot to be executed. chava watches from his knees as two of his friends are shot in the back of the head. just as a soldier is about to pull the trigger on chava, however, guerrillas descend upon them and he is saved. as he escapes, he comes upon a rifle but finds himself unable to use it on one of his former classmates, the other child ultimately guilty of nothing more than having a birthday in the wrong place at the wrong time. chava's mother finally arranges to have him sent to the united states, which he does not want but accedes to because he finally realizes if he stays he will die. it is a heavy idea for a twelve year-old to deal with. though the film suffers from repetition occasionally and generally lacks the coming of age charms of machuca, it certainly makes you understand the attendant horrors and injustices of the use of children as soldiers in no uncertain terms. i am also comparing apples to oranges a little there, as these children literally live in a war zone. for them, growing up is a much more literal concern than a figurative one. they are lucky to see the next day, every day. it is a grim enough existence for adults. it must be infinitely more so for a child that has little grasp of the larger forces/ideologies at work and sees his family and that of his friends being rent asunder for reasons they can never hope to understand. equally chilling are the scenes of children as fully armed approximations of adult soldiers, exhibiting a childish pride at feeling grown up just because they have had a rifle shoved into their hands and a uniform on. it sort of underscores the fact that there may not be a great deal of difference between twelve and eighteen in a lot of ways and the horrible things that children and young adults are asked, or forced, to do in wartime effectively end childhood then and there. this would have made an excellent counterpoint to yesterday's viewing of starship troopers (1997). if you doubt that war is bad, watch this, not that. it leaves no room for misinterpretation.

and with that, we are done. thanks, aaron, it was a pleasure. it was a pleasure all the way around, in fact. i expected no less. i will be back tomorrow to wrap things up. for now, i am off to watch whatever i want for the first time in ten days. thanks for reading, everyone!

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

part 2 of the mix....

rather than post part 2 of the Motherfucker mix i will
post part 2 of my New Years Eve-ning... After Motherfucker
i djed Rubulad until 10 am... The set was also recorded, and
l'll post it this week hopefully. It is the polar
opposite of the Motherfucker set. Barely any house
or electronic stuff-- i reserved that for Motherfucker
since i was in the 'electronic room', and i thought
it would be nice to do 2 separate sets with different

So all of the people who complained the Motherfucker
set was "too dark"... This will suit you just fine!

Monday, February 05, 2007

Mike's NYE set from Motherfucker:

hello. here are the links to the Motherfucker dj set
from New Years Eve 2006. This is the first half-- about
1:45 (its pretty long). I have part two as well if anyone cares.
Sound quality may be shitty- it was one of those portable
USB recorders plugged into the mixer... (thanks CJ from
Germany for sending this to me!).... by the way, about
an hour into the thing a few girls jumped on stage to
dance and almost knocked everything over, so it sorta
jumped for a second... and, if you have a Stuffit program,
you can reconnect this so it is one long set...

Friday, February 02, 2007

I'm Not Gonna Lie...

i've been in and out of town and havent been able
to do shit for the ol' blog, but i will do something
soon. i plan on re-upping the NYE Motherfucker set
as well. blah blah....


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Friday, May 27, 2016

Well, I Don't Think That Will Happen

So, if Senator Sanders doesn't get a debate with Secretary Clinton before the June 7th CA primary, why not have a debate with Donald Trump? And Donald Trump would love to debate Sanders, too, because "he's a dream" and they could raise $10-15 million for a notable charity like women's health or something like that. It could be done at a yuge arena or maybe Cenk Uygur's very generous offer of a million dollars for charity and to host the debate on his news network could bring Trump's idea down to plausible reality--you know, if Trump was "a man of his word."

But I wouldn't take it for granted, because getting Trump to own up to what he promised to the veterans was like pulling teeth. From a frog. And while using the debate with Sanders is a way for Trump to soften up Hillary Clinton by proxy, it might not really be worth Trump's effort. After all, Sanders could show him up.

Sanders wants a last airing of his ideas to present a case to California--understood. A debate with Trump would be a high-publicity way to get that, and while Donald Trump seems to be playing it off as a speculative joke, I can see where a real experience politician would find benefit in doing it. Best case scenario for Sanders, he gets in some lasting digs at Trump as being for the 1%--if not the one out of 7 billion! (Trump, Himself!) But I couldn't believe that Trump would ever let it be about airing serious ideas and comparing different visions of the world. I think it would devolve into the eventual past-time of a Strangely family reunion--

Talking about folks who aren't there. It could become a Clinton pile-on. And that actually would not be a good look for Sanders in terms of going too negative at the tail-end of a primary, and it surely wouldn't be good for party unity. It could be worth a lot of publicity--but let's face it, Donald Trump's empty podium has gotten more airtime than some candidates this cycle, and maybe that publicity isn't the kind you want to take lightly.

I say it shouldn't happen. Sadly, if it does, I'd watch the hell out of it.

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