text:
Dick, Dedication, and the American Dream

Roanoke, Va.–This girl I liked when we were in ninth grade was really cute and had pretty green eyes. I told her one day as we were walking to the buses and she said ‘thank you.’ I never thought another thing of it because chasing tail, I decided, wasn’t my thing at that age. I still liked cartoons and videogames way too much to give all my energy to a time-vacuum like a girl and her problems.

Six years later, she came over to my close, personal friend’s house seeking heroin. Evidently, she’d found a boyfriend who uses heroin, and she herself got addicted so they could enjoy the drug together. What dedication! I can only imagine how poisonous their relationship together is. If you’ve ever seen Requiem For A Dream, you know what I’m talking about. Obviously, not every chemical romance is like that, but the movie is a very accurate depiction of how many of these kinds of relationships work out.

Now, I have a long-term girlfriend but she is not a painful soul-vacuum, nor does she any heroin – or any hard drug, for that matter. There’s a better way to keep a woman around without addicting her to a fatal drug, or so I like to think. I’d say that I’ve struck an almost psychologically unheard-of balance in which I get to be myself and happy with a woman at the same time. I get to play my videogames and have great sex, too. What’s more, I get to spend any or all of my time at the aforementioned best friend’s house on Bent Mountain because my girlfriend is not a succubus time-hog whose permission is required to fart.

Sometimes I go to my friend’s house and we just play videogames and talk about the latest Elf Wax and how epic it will be when the mainstream media bows to its superiority as the earth shatters under the weight of the resulting irony. Other times are spent watching as drunk, worthless chicks file in and out during the occasional party. It doesn’t happen often, because there’s always an active XBOX 360 in the room – a natural female repellent. But it still happens.

The other night, a girl came in and proclaimed, “I’ll get wasted tonight. I wanna get drunk and make a mistake. A mistake that makes babies.” I hadn’t noticed her until she said this. To me, women at parties are usually inconsequential, serving their benign purpose of making the men talk louder in their presence and nothing more. Also, they are good for starting fights, and beyond that, you’re lucky to bang one and forget about it. You never date these girls. This particular girl was your typical party slut. Kind of chubby because she is too dim to recognize a correlation between McDonald’s, beer, and her faltering appearance. Kind of slutty because the fatter a girl gets, the easier she has to be in order to compensate for her decline in received sexual attention.

So to what I thought was actually the fabled tongue-in-cheek wit coming out of a girl’s mouth, I yelled out, “Yeah, pregnancy, alright!” Nobody laughed. I guess (with good reason) they took her very seriously and the chase was on. Or perhaps they didn’t hear me, because it was funny and the way I said it was funny too, and nothing that leaves my mouth is short of genius. Regardless, I never took my eyes away from Nazi Zombies, at which I was brutally kicking the asses of the undead Wehrmacht.

Around me, cheap beers turned into cheap shots, and this girl got wasted, just like she said she’d do. Much unlike a woman, she stuck to her word, however I was still unimpressed because she hadn’t yet made any mistakes, aside from tipping the bong in the wrong direction and spilling filthy, stinking bong water into the couch cushions. I saw it. It was yellow coming out. Very old, putrid water. Not one oxygen molecule to be found in it. It stunk and made her stink because she’d also spilled it on her clothes. How gross.

The party continued. She flirted with the Brosephs and loved their ability to put unbroken sentences together (when college guys feel intellectually dominant, they like to talk in a loud, reverse-Seinfeld tonality). She revealed her true stupidity when she asked, “Where are you from?”

“They’re from a college, honey. Not a different state. Just not the Food Lion you work at.” My thoughts were growing cynical. It was time to play some killer jams. Oops, no good. The Brosephs took over tha party, bro. They’ve been in there tuning up for two and a half god damn hours and the drummer’s still sitting there twiddling his balls around. You gotta wait, bro. Bro. Dude. Gotta wait. “Get out of my god damn way and let a real musician play you fucking Modest Mouse-imitating honkies with your lame fail-minor chords and shit-eating cock-bang-the-drum-rhythms.” Rather than say this, I thought it, and chose to wait outside patiently by the campfire. The girl was there.

After begging everyone present at the party to take shots with her, one at a time, she still couldn’t bait an erection out of even the drunkest men, with the lowest standards. She had begun to embarrass herself by moving person to person, sitting in their laps and seeing if it took. Even after some very obvious lines of questioning, that went from, “I’m tired, I want to go to bed,” to, “I’m going to bed now,” to, “Do you like holding me?” to, “You want to come to bed with me?” she was having trouble getting results.

This worked on one guy. I knew his name because he played Nazi Zombies with me earlier and we shared victory. We got to level eleven together which had yet to be seen on this particular night, and so it felt good. He had originally showed up with a twenty-four pack of Bud Light, so he was drunk and getting drunker.

Sitting by the campfire and watching this pitiful scene between them in which she sat on his lap and he expressed his enjoyment of it, I thought, “This is it. She’s going to finally get fucked like the whore she is on one of those filthy beds in the back room. Won’t that be a pleasant Roanoke memory?”

Then, something interesting happened. He started playing hard to get. Not too hard, because I could tell he still planned to do something with her, if it was really going to be this easy, but he wanted to do it his own way, not hers. What he started doing was saying really funny shit to her, like “Sure, I’ll take you home, but you won’t like where home is,” and then he said something along the lines of, “That should correct your mistake.”

At this, the girl began crying. She’d already done this off and on throughout the night when no one would pay any attention to her. Still sitting on this guy’s lap, she looked around the campfire at a circle of unfamiliar faces, lastly at mine, then turned to the only other girl present, her friend who she showed up with, and begged her to call some one and have her come pick them up.

Almost simultaneously, a bearded man appeared in the doorway of the house – a violent drunk who’d passed out early but knew this girl personally. He approached her with two gallant strides across the yard, asking her, “Do you want me to make you feel really good?” Her eyes melted from personal ownership to childish submission as he took her around the side of the house, where the two were not seen again for at least an hour. The girl disappeared. Chris, my Call of Duty partner, said nothing. Simply opened another beer and enjoyed the company of friends, as he’d been doing before the girl materialized in his lap.

The party was over. I went to sleep and woke up sick. Sick, because I smoked from the same bong as that filthy petri-dish of a girl from the middle of the state. Some unknown, unnamed hick town smaller than this one. The only kind of place capable of producing a dispirited character so familiarly squalid and lacking of common sense or decency. A desperate fat sow whose social success hangs on her ability to fuck someone new at every alcoholic gathering. The product of boredom due to excess. Of a lesson learned in which doing nothing equals doing something as long as a dick still penetrates her at the end of the night.

Hers was a life that led her to pouting her ass around, like a cat in heat, for the first burred penis whose instincts could safely guide it into the dark hole at the end of the tunnel-vision. First shaking it in front of this lap, and then that one, and another one only to be swept up by a surprise male she didn’t expect. But it makes no difference anyway, because she’s chosen the life of a vapid, disease-ridden drunk whore with no inspired future and ugly, meaningless friends, yet retains the ability to carry around a false sense of daytime dignity because she attends a community college somewhere.

A girl who has everything and gets nothing out of it. Has nothing good to say but is feverishly pounding texts out of her cell phone. Knows nothing even though she has the Internet, because she only uses it for Facebook and MySpace.

A girl who will never find this highly-detailed account of her actions, even though I wrote elfwax.com down on a slip of paper and threw it into her purse when she wasn’t looking.

God Bless America. And God Bless The Elf Wax Times.


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Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Aftermath and Winning Photo

The sun has been shining brightly all day, in an almost deceptive ploy to get me outdoors. For the first time since the freeze shrouded cold front arrived, I have pretty much stayed in, and finally ventured out to water my plants. My fingers felt numb after a mere half hour. And the garden? Well, the situation isn't pretty. Except for those trees which are dormant or are evergreen, almost all the plants suffered.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Heart Collage

With this being February and Valentine season upon us, and their wearing such a cheerful shade of red in their jackets, I couldn't resist making a simple heart collage of my easy with a free collage maker.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Gift For My Sweetie

My order from Amazon finally arrived today. It is a gift for my Sweetie, which I got at no cost to me from Amazon, using gift cards I  redeemed from Swagbucks. I've gotten so many free things using Amazon gift cards. I got an external hard drive for my Son, and a ton of scrapbook supplies for myself. It's true what they say about Amazon. You can find almost everything at Amazon.

Monday, February 7, 2011

My Pride and Prejudice Book Review (Brief)

photo from the 1995 film version of "Pride and Prejudice"

Although written during the Regency period in England, such a long time ago, this novel speaks volumes about so many timeless elements in human nature. Written in a very clever and witty style by Jane Austen.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Winter Sight

We spent the better part of the afternoon yesterday bringing the houseplants into shelter ahead of the expected freeze. Temperatures are expected to dip into the twenties for our area on Thursday. Today felt quite chilly, with temps in the thirties! Most of our garden is comprised of tropical plants, so we had to take steps to protect them.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Healthy, Filling, And Easy- And Cheap!

A few days ago I found a simple delicious recipe over at Food Party Blog. It looked so simple I knew it was something I could whip up fast. I made my spring rolls with frozen shrimp. To give them a little flavor, first I sauteed some crushed garlic and ginger in a little bit of sesame oil.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

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Friday, September 2, 2011

Lift Up Your Hands!

Oh, how my heart rejoices! I lift up my arms to my Redeemer! If you have been saved by his redeeming grace, then you know what of I speak. There are those who daily toil and muster their strength and all their efforts to glorify the things of this world, of this Earth. And then there are those who dedicate all their talent to glorify the one who paid the highest ransom for man.

And this one: What beautiful talent for the Glory of God!

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OCR Interpretation

Goodwin's weekly : a thinking paper for thinking people. (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1902-1929, October 19, 1907, Image 6

Image and text provided by University of Utah, Marriott Library

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/2010218519/1907-10-19/ed-1/seq-6/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for 6

m 6 Goodwin's ae:e:kl.v.
H I Morris and Plummer will be fairly shown up for
m the benefit of the party lenders. "Whichever pulls
m f the strongest in the canvass gets the church vote
H To date the party lenders of either gang don't
H know where they stand, and this accounts for the
H lack of activity on their part registration day,
M j Tuesday.
fl Chairman Do vine of the Smoot Republican's
B and Chairman Snow of the church Democrats
B have held almobt daily conferences all week long
B t and once the returns are in from the canvass
B being made, the word will go out as to Lhe way
B - the church vote will be swung on Nov 5th.
H & & &
B There is no question as to fusion in the First
B i ward. The ticket will go up with Hodgson for
B the long term and Murdoch for the short term.
B It is stated on good authority that the reslgna-
B tion of H. L. Penrose is now in the hands of the
B steering committee of the First and that the
Hi fraens is ended the ticket to be put up as Jt
B stands.
B In the Second there is plenty of trouble. When
B ' Currle found that Hodgson, a Democrat, ha I
B drawn the long term in the First ho demanded
IB the long term in the Second. This meant the
H ousting of George Burbidgo an utlor Impossibll-
B ity, according to Burbidgo's friends and they
H threaten to make trouble a-plenty if it is at-
H tempted. If it went through it would look like
H Burbidgo and Davy in the second a thing that
H would never do, according to the party leaders.
H The fight in the Second will depend somewhat on
the outcome of the canvass being made on Plum-
H mer and Morris by the church disciples. It is re-
H ported that J. M. Hays, long term Republican in
B the Fifth, has resigned. The rumor is strenu-
Ht ously denied, but It is believed that there i a cry
H for fusion in this ward from the party leaders
H and that someone's head will liavo to come off.
B Thoso who know claim tliat the canvass or
' mayor among tho Democrats and Smoot sup-
H porters looks like a walkaway for Plummer, and
H if such is the case, Plummer will draw the entire
H church vote in the city and as many from out of
H town as can be gotten past the challengers on
HB election day by the brethren.
H t t
H, If ever a party organization jumped into the
H limelight of efficiency and thoroughness it was
H Tuesday. Chairman Darmer has perfected his
K machine to the highest point of activitv and uc-
H complishment, and the work went with a rush
H and thoroughness that speaks volumes for what
H is coming on Oct. 29 and Nov. 5.
H From Chairman Dnrmer to the block captains
H there is to be no let-up. The town is American
B Wild. Men are coming from long trips to vote
H their tickets. Scores of Americans who are going
B to California for the winter are staying for the
H chance to take a good swipe single-handed at the
H Profit on Brlgham street.
H It is the duty of every American who has not
H registered to do so Oct. 20.
H In the meantime Salt Lake is slowly working
B toward the vortex of the greatest political fight
B in its history a fight that is won already and a
B flght that spells a licking for the disgruntled ones
H that will prove the best they over received.
JH "Oh, der loafers; oh, der boomers such a
B business did you hear aboudt der mixing up vid
H Milton Choeeph?"
Br Opinions differ, but the general impression
H seems to be that his title of Frstic Pride of the
w Pit has been won away, and that no longer will
B he be looked upon with fear and trembling by
B the passive bulls and bears.
B Milton himself says there was nothing to It;
B that he didn't receive a single blow that counted,
and that there was only one encounter that in
which Brother Collin landed oft the most promi
nent place on Mr. Joseph's physiognomy and
Mr Joseph then remonstrated.
Tho report gained circulation that L. E. Bou
kofsky had twice collided with Milton to the com
plete discomfiture of tho latter, but Mr. Joseph
Is emphatic in the belief that nothing like this
Boukofsky also affirms the denial of his enemy,
and argues that the reason nothing like a light
was pulled off was because ho (Boukofsky)
wanted Joseph to lose his seat on the Exchange
for action unbecoming an officer and a gentle
man In reaching over tho rail and striking a spec
tator "beoause," declares Boukofsky, "Milton
doesn't care enough about a dollar to mind losing
his seat on the Exchange, and I wanted to see the
It is certain that Coffin didn't get licked; it is
equally well known that Boukofsky received no
punishment, and tho question of issuo now is
whether Mr. Joseph really did got hi, or whether
a couple of score of brokers with good eyesight
aro liars.
(By Elizabeth Waddell.)
Bo now tho truth with pain contest
Woman's or man's, which lovo is best?
O, speak not now in praise or blame;
O, spealc not now of Passion's zest
The passion of the flesh is tame!
It sinks and sobs itself to rest:
A woman in her faintest flame
Lqvos more than man who loves his bast.
Go provo the truth by any test
Though he must give his passion name
While hor's may smoulder all reprost,
A woman in her faintest flame
Loves more than man who loves his best.
Independent messengers, 3546 both phones.
Change ,;s his mistress, Chance his counsellor.
Love could not keep him, Duty forged no chain.
The wide seas and the mountains called to him,
And gray dawns saw his camp-flros in tho rain! f
'I I
Sweet hands must tremble! Ay, but he must go.
Revel might hold him for a little space,
But turning, past tho laughter and tho lamps,
His eyes must ever catch tho luring face.
Dear eyes might question! Yea, and melt again,
Rare lips, a-qulver, silently imploro,
But over ho must turn his furtive head
And hear the other summons at tho door.
I'M ' l J' i i ' .
Change was his mistress, Chance his counsellor.
Tho dark firs knew his whistle up tho trail.
Why tarries he today? And yesternight
Advonturo lit her stars without avail!
Theodore Roberts.
In a city, you got something difforent That's the
story of Wille's Louvre. There's music there
pleasant, cosy surroundings new suggestions of
good things to oat every day and night a service
peculiarly suited to exacting wants hot tilings
hot and cold things cold a place whore ladles
may go at all times tho place where tho best
people do go really the Rector's of Salt Lake,
and a long walk to a place as good the ren
dezvous of good livers one place in a hundred,
and no one to direct you to the other ninety-nine
the best of everything to eat and drink the
hoadllnors of the markets the finest cuts ot
moat a la carte most of the tlmo a fine lunch
for business mon botweon twelve and two a good
dlnnor always table d'hote, too, on Sunday and
after the theatre tho only place. You'll like tho
He's engaged to a widow."
"How did he meet her?"
"He did not meet her. She overtook him."
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Says the weather man $
"Raincoats" - !
Says the thoughtful man - j
"Richardson & Adams" j
Says the wise man .
"$15 to .$35" J.
Says the cothtng man , v x ,
17a Main Street

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text:
The Library of Congress > Chronicling America > Stephens City star. > July 14, 1883

Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more

Pages Available: 11,865,420


text:
The Library of Congress > Chronicling America > The Wheeling daily intelligencer. > January 23, 1895

Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more

Pages Available: 11,865,420


text: The Alfred P. Sloan Foundation renewed the $250,000 “New Liberal Arts” grant to the college, thus enabling, “the college to enhance the quantitative skills and technological understanding of the students,” said Patricia Johnson, professor of biology and associate dean of the college. Professor of economics Stephen Rousseas expressed the concerns of some faculty members that the technology-oriented programs initiated by the grant would affect the quality of the liberal arts education offered by the college. “We are allowing a private institution to come in and pay for imposing its definition of a liberal arts education on us,” he said. “That doesn’t speak well for Vassar.”    The Miscellany News


text:
Wednesday, July 1, 2009

our beach

We have a little lake here in town that has a section blocked off for swimming. It is the closest thing we are going to get to a beach here in Colorado, so I like to make sure we go play there a couple of times each summer.

It was sooo nice. Seriously, I'm thinking we should go there most everyday when it is hot outside.

I was super nervous to take both kiddos by myself. Wasn't sure how they would be and if I would feel safe with them. But it was SO EASY!

Enrique had a blast, was super cautious, but not afraid to get in the water by himself to play. I think it felt safer for him because the water gradually gets deeper, unlike the swimming pool, where he clings to us for dear life.

Anabel, who I thought would just go running in totally careless, stuck close to me and loved playing in the water!

There is something about kids, water, sunshine and sand, isn't there?

Kaleanani July 1, 2009 at 12:46 PM

Where is this place?? I would love to go! I didn't know there were any lakes here. I know there is one about half an hour past Manitou, in the mountains, but I didn't know about any that were closer.

Lisa July 1, 2009 at 1:39 PM

It's Prospect Lake at Memorial Park, over off of Hancock and Palmer Park. Cost us about $6 to get in..

Riella July 2, 2009 at 10:58 AM

We'll check it out next time I get Damian to leave the house. He's always asking me to have a plan in mind before going somewhere, and I get tired of suggesting Seven Falls and Manitou. A lake will be a great change of pace.

Please do not use any images or content without permission. You can contact me at happydelz [at] comcast [dot] net. Thanks.

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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Botanic Drawings: Humulus Lupulus (Hops)

Technically not my first attempt at drawing plants (see these flowers), but my first faux-scientific looking one.  Humulus Lupulus, also known as Hops.

These are the wonderful pens I use:

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Pet Portraits: Ted

In Memory of Ted

To see other Pet Portraits, click here

These are the pens I use:

Monday, December 20, 2010

DIY Water Balloon Ice Candle Holders (Luminaries)

I really enjoy making ice candle holders (luminaries) in the winter, and usually use a generic mold.  This year it was suggested to me to try making them out of water balloons.  The idea is simple: Take a standard balloon, fill with water, put outside to partially freeze.  Once an outer shell of ice has formed, rip the balloon off the ice and dump out the remaining water.  Add candle.

This turns out to be rather tricky.  I have done a few experiments so far and can not yet consistently get these to work, but if you're willing to risk a few failures, the final result is quite nice.  So here are my directions along with comments on what I've learned by doing this:

1) Inflate the balloon, then deflate it most (but not all) of the way, THEN add water.  The idea is to get a bubble of air (maybe an inch or so across, more if your candle will be bigger than a softball) inside the balloon.  I'm not entirely certain on the physics, but in my testing I have found that having that air bubble keeps the ice beneath it slightly thinner.  This means that when you take off the balloon, you will have a good place to make a hole through the sphere of ice.

2) Wipe off (dry) balloons before putting outside to freeze (you don't want them to freeze to the ground)

3) Check on the balloons periodically while freezing.  You don't want them to freeze all the way through!

4) You can use a key or other sharp object to tear the balloon off; it's pretty easy.

5) Very carefully break into the ice by gently tapping the flat surface where the air bubble had been.  This should be the thinnest ice, and break easier than other sections.  If you can't break this part, the ice has frozen too far, but at least you have a pretty ice ball.  If you can break this part, break a large enough circle that you can set a candle into it.  Don't forget to empty out the water!

6) Add a candle! You're done! If you're like me, you made one successful candle after four tries, but hopefully reading this means you've increased your likely hood of success.

EDIT:  If you fill the balloons all the way up and do not leave a space, you may end up with this:

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

DIY Penguin Christmas Village: House

These are the main buildings in my Penguin Christmas Village.  I try to only make things that I can build and bake in one go, so I don't do a lot of buildings because they are tricky to make (the soft clay doesn't support itself well).  However, that same factor also gives them a nice, slightly gingerbread look, so it works out well.

See all the Penguin Christmas Village articles here!

How to make a Penguin Christmas Village House:

First, start with a large roll of brown clay.  This should be at least five or six inches long.  Flatten this out, and make it as rectangular as possible, about an inch to an inch and a half tall.  Then, fold into a square.  These are the walls of your house.  Don't worry if they are not perfectly straight up and down (they won't be).  Pinch the corners to make them stay, and pinch the clay together where the walls over-lap.  This is the hardest part of the entire building! Once you have this done, the rest is easy.

 Now that you have your structure, make a small thin rectangle for the door, and add an even small ball of clay (flattened as well) as a door handle

 Next make a semi-circle out of green, then add two dots of red to make a wreathe.  For windows, start with a square of yellow on each side of the house.

Add a white trim border around the yellow square window, then a white cross-hatch.  The roof starts out as a large red rectangle, similar to how you made the original walls, but not as long.

You can add a small chimney to the roof before putting it on the house.  Make a small fold in the middle of the roof to give it some slope, then place it on the building.  Add a rope of green clay for a garland.

 Finish off the garland with some red dots, and you're done!

Bake at 275F for about 15 minutes to harden.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

DIY Penguin Christmas Village: Penguin Carolers

Christmas villages always need carolers, so I made a few to linger around lampposts and Christmas trees in town.
Click here to see all Penguin Christmas Village articles!

How to make Penguin Carolers:

First, start with a Basic Penguin, but stop before adding the wings.  Take two small balls of clay, and flatten one.  Place the flat piece on the penguin's head, and then add the other ball on top.  Next, add wings, but have one going up, and one coming forward.

 Take another piece of clay, and make a thin, flat, rectangle.  Attach this to the belly of the penguin, and touching the outstretched wing.  Add eyes with a toothpick.  Finally, open the beak by using a butter-knife or other thin flat surface and gently moving up and down.  You're done!  I like to group my carolers in at least pairs, but they also work well in larger groups.  For fancier carolers, try adding a scarf!

Bake at 275F for about 15 minutes to harden

Thursday, December 9, 2010

DIY Penguin Christmas Village: Pipe and Drum

Click Here for all of the Penguin Christmas Village Articles!

Any Christmas scene needs a pipe and drum, so here's my Penguin version:

How to Make a Penguin Drummer:

 First, start with a Basic Penguin, but don't add wings.  Place a round ball of clay on the belly of the penguin, and flatten the top.  Next, add a small flat piece of clay (the drum head), and finally wings to hold the drum.

 For the final touch, add two drum sticks (very thin rolls of clay).  You're done!

How to Make a Penguin Piper:

 This is super easy.  Start with the Basic Penguin, then add wings as if the penguin is trying to give someone a hug.  Add a thin roll of clay over the wings as a pipe (and under the beak) and you're done!

Bake at 275F for about 15 minutes to harden

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

DIY Penguin Christmas Village: Lamp Post

Click Here for all DIY Penguin Christmas Village articles!

Here's how to make a Lamp Post for your Penguins.  They come in handy for carolers who wish to gather around and sing!

How to make a Penguin Christmas Village Lamp Post:

Start with a small roll of black clay.  Smush one end into the ground to make a base.  Then, add a small ball of black clay on top (you can also make this rounded top out of the original piece of clay).

 Next, add four flat pieces of yellow to each side of the top of the lamp.  Then roll a very thin green string (garland) and wrap it around the lamp.

Finally, add tiny red dots to the garland, and you're done!
Bake at 275F for about 15 minutes to harden

Sunday, December 5, 2010

DIY Penguin Christmas Village: Scarves and Ice-Skaters

Click here for all Penguin Christmas Village articles!

These are two super easy ways to take a regular Christmas Village Penguin, and make them a bit more unique.  These two penguin characters both start with the Basic Penguin, then add extra pazazz (is that how you spell that?).  So, to start out, make two Basic Penguins.  Then continue on with the directions below :)

How to Make a Christmas Penguin with Scarf

To make a scarf, make a very small roll of clay, then flatten it out.  Using a flat edge (you can even use your finger nails), make a number of small dents into either end of the scarf.  Carefully wrap the scarf around your penguin (you don't need to press it into the penguin to make it stay).  You're done!  Penguins with Scarves make excellent bystanders in a Penguin Christmas Village.

Bake at 275F for about 15 minutes to harden

How to Make an Ice-Skating Penguin:

Ice skates are just a larger roll of clay (I used red and green), with a much smaller roll of white clay beneath.  For 'action' skates, place one slightly forward and tilting upwards on your penguin, and the other slightly behind and tilting downwards.  To make an ice rink, just make an outline out of white sculpey, and if you like, add some green pine trees.  You're done!

Bake at 275F for about 15 minutes to harden


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Weekly News Update - June 3. 2013

Brief Description - The DeSoto Weekly News Flash for the week of June 3, 2013.

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Carlos Zambrano, No-hitter
Carlos Zambrano's no-hitter was the first one to occur at a neutral site and the first thrown by a player whose last name starts with 'Z'. (Morry Gash/AP)
Neutral sight: Big Z no-hits Astros
Not even the weather could stop Carlos Zambrano on Sunday night. After the Cubs' game against the Astros was moved from Houston to Milwaukee's Miller Park because of Hurricane Ike, Big Z threw the first no-hitter of his career, and the team's first since 1972. Zambrano, who struck out 10 and walked one, fanned Darin Erstad to seal the no-no.  Full story >
Cubs teammates help Big Z get a leg up
Carlos Zambrano was on his game, but his team, especially his defense, pitching coach and catcher, had his back and came up big.  Full story >


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Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Never Thought of It That Way...

The (Other) New 2017 Color of the Year Is...

SW 6039:  Poised Taupe.

Sherwin-Williams just picked this as their signature color for 2017.

Is it tan? Gray? A touch of cream? Or does it have just a hint of purple in there, as well?

Kari Anne at Thistlewood Farms thinks so.  (I do, too.)

She used this color to make over her dining room:

I gotta admit -- it's lovely. Very peaceful, and not quite as brooding as

Take a look at the full post, for more ideas.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Frugal Hits And Misses: November Report

It's been a few months now since I pledged to let you know when we did well on the Frugal Scale -- and when we didn't. Life and stuff happens...but this month, other than medical issues, it didn't go too badly.

     For one thing, I kept my promise to myself to see the books and videos we'd collected for so many years go to others, instead. For some interesting reason, we did better on food costs this month, as well. (Was it the scavenging?)

*Listed more than 30 items (books and videos) on Amazon -- and sold 10. Eight books and 2 videos. I only chose the ones that would sell for enough to make a profit...with one glaring exception. (See below.) Nearly all sold at much more than I originally paid for them -- especially the videos.

*Waited until just before Thanksgiving to buy turkey and some other goodies. Another blogger said she'd noticed prices dropped faster just a few days before -- and she was right. Saved about $20 on just the turkey.

*Grabbed some screaming deals on canned soup. For example: Progresso at about 65 cents a can, combining sale price with coupons. Campbell's Cream of Mushroom: 50 cents. (Green bean casserole influence, no doubt.) Chunky Soup clocked in at about 75 cents each. Do manufacturers think, with the weather getting cold, that we're not going to eat soup??

*Bought things we needed, anyways, combining coupons with sales. Chicken feed at 10% off. Dogfood was even better: 15% off. We also stocked up on essentials at Sam's Club. (See below)

*Ordered castile soap on sale from Grove Collective -- and got a Mrs. Meyers cleaning set with it, plus free shipping. These were full-sized bottles of hand soap, multi-surface cleaner and dish soap. If you haven't used Mrs. Meyer products yet, you're missing out: they're gentle on the hands, clean effectively and smell wonderful. The negative: they're very expensive. But not when they come free!
     Why did I order castile soap? Because it's the foundation for any number of budget-friendly cleaning products. I'm looking forward to mixing some of these up, using some of my oils.

*Watched a BUNCH of tv and cable series we enjoy following: The Last Ship, Designated Survivor (this one is new -- and surprisingly good, especially if you liked 24), The Walking Dead, Alone (a 'real' survivalist contest) and Turn: Washington's Spies. The Brick found a number of sites (including geektv.com) that streamed these for free. Not only did we catch up with our favorites -- we watched them with no commercials. Win-win.

*We also saw several football games for free.  More about those here. (I still don't want to talk about Michigan and the Broncos losing.)

*'Scavenged' food several times for free...mostly because I was paying attention. Working on Election Day for the county meant free supper, which was nice. After everyone had gone home, a few of the box lunches remained. I snagged one...even nicer.
      I was appraising at our local thrift shop today, and the same thing happened: a table filled with different kinds of food, and nearly all the other volunteers gone. "Take what you want," said my boss cheerfully. So I did: three boxed salads, two pies (pumpkin and pecan), some rolls and a bunch of cake 'lollipops.'  (The latter looked and tasted suspiciously like Starbucks items.) Lesson learned:  when you volunteer for groups like these, you not only get a discount (which is nice), but you may luck into more things, as well. Our thrift shop often sets out boxes of bread and rolls for customers to enjoy.

*Free pumpkins and squash, thanks to a thoughtful neighbor. (The chickens enjoyed these, though we got some, too.) She got a dozen eggs, in return. A free box of tomatoes from other neighbors added to soup, stew, sandwiches and used to top a pizza.

*'Found' -- or got on sale -- a number of Christmas presents. The nice thing about cleaning out your shelves and drawers: you find items that you hid earlier, sometimes months ago. Normally that makes me feel like a doofus; having these available for Christmas now does not.
      I also set aside several books from the sale/giveaway pile for giving, and found the Brick (and the girlies) several things at the thrift shop. Now to get these wrapped.

*Got Swagbucks for purchases we'd planned to make, anyways. I've brought Swagbucks up before -- it's one of the easiest ways to earn bonus points while just doing searches and shopping you normally do, anyways. Click here for more info.
     Buy The Mama a gift card for her favorite restaurant? Check.
     Stock up on basics like dishwasher soap and dog bones at Sam's Club? Got it. (Yes, they were on sale, too, with free pickup.)

Earn the Brick a $25 Amazon gift card, by doing all this? No problem.
    It really is that easy.

*I volunteered for a tasting panel. Ninety minutes work, stuffed to the gills with food = $50 gift card!

*Took advantage of Veterans' Day specials. We ate meals at Applebee's, Golden Corral and Red Robin that all included free meals or discounts. ("That's what you get for serving six years in the Navy," I told the Brick. He grinned.)

*A free bagel or coffee discount every time I visited in November.  (Thanks, Panera.)

*Donated bags, bags and more bags of stuff. Mostly books and clothes. It felt wonderful.

*Snagged several items for prizes, rewards and Christmas presents for my piano students. Rocher chocolates: 33 cents for a three-pack. (The Friday/Saturday store.) Stuffed animals for a buck or two each. (Thrift shop.)  90% off makeup kits. (Halloween clearance.)

*Kept the heat turned down -- actually turned off for part of the month. We don't mind wearing socks and sweaters. We're not the only ones, either. And if  it gets too chilly, it's easy to build a fire in the woodstove, or turn on the electric fireplace. (Cheaper, too.)

*Found a B&B package through Groupon for our anniversary...a beautiful log cabin-style lodge up in the mountains. $75 a night -- an incredible price around here, especially during the start of ski season. Interestingly, it's not far from Colorado's areas for:

*Cutting Christmas trees -- we'll get our own this year! $10 each. (We'll get one each for Daughter #1 and her friend, while we're at it.)

*Worked for the election. An incredibly boring job, but the extra paycheck was very welcome.  The Brick also continued to drive bus now and then for a local school district.

*Picked up more little jobs here and there. $50 for restoration work on a duvet, and $20 for restitching some holes and loose seams on an old quilt. Walked a dog now and then. (Brody again. What a cutie.)

*Shoveled out the chicken coop -- not that they appreciated it, the little dinosaurs. But our neighbor got a load of 'dressing,' and my garden greens bed did the same. (The greens are still alive. I don't know how.)

*The chickens are still paying for themselves...sort of. They've been laying fewer eggs, in spite of more protein, more light (inside the coop) and a heatlamp. We barely had enough for our regular customers. But at least we had enough.

*Gave away Daughter #1's canopy bed to one of our little friends. More space for us. Daughter gets our old bed, instead, which she wanted...and Trynity has a bed for her newly-furnished room.

*Packed two boxes for Operation Christmas Child. There's still time to help out with this wonderful cause -- go here for specifics.

*Turned in several boxes of change -- for our Christmas Angel doings.  Every year, we use the change gathered to buy secret presents for people who need it. (I would then use what was leftover to buy the family a pizza.) This year will be gift cards we'll give away anonymously.

Most of these savings are small. But if you keep track of items like this, they do add up to the savings of a frugal lifetime

These were unavoidable... except one.

*I lost money on one of the Amazon sales -- big-time. The shipping amount allowed for one of the books, a trade paperback, was handsome: $16.95. But shipping alone for this book (to Israel) was $22.50!  I'd never shipped an order to the Promised Land, and had no idea. But basically I paid the customer for the privilege of buying my book. (Brickworks has international customers, but we've always adjusted our shipping costs to compensate.)
     I complained to Amazon, and was told to change my price next time. In other words, 'Stuff you.' Lesson learned:  no shipping to Israel -- and I'll take more care to only send lightweight items overseas, so shipping IS covered.

*The Brick's session with kidney stones meant a doctor's visit and pain meds. Fortunately, we didn't have to go to the emergency room this time. What it did mean, though, was a very subdued week. We missed church and the annual Thanksgiving supper at the fairgrounds, but it couldn't be helped.

*The Brick also had to have two crowns replaced. $1900 at the dentist's office...paid back at $265/month.  Just in time, I guess -- the bill for my crown was paid off this month.

Curious about the other months of hits and misses?

October's report is here.

September's report is here.

August's report is here.

    December promises to be a quiet month. Other than our anniversary trip, we have no plans to go anywhere special, except a free concert or two. The Mama will be visiting for the last two weeks of the month. And of course, there are the Seven Fish Dishes.

I'm not complaining.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: Football (Groan)

    Thanks to the Brick's ingenuity, we've watched several football games in the past few weeks. He's found different feeds, some of them European...which means that they include announcers getting ready, random people in the crowd etc. These are the lull times that normally would be filled with station identification and such. But since we're on the secondary feed instead of the primary one, we don't have to put up with it. There's some strange halts and silences, but we can handle that.
      We don't have cable, which saves us a bunch. And we don't need it. The Brick hooked up his laptop to the tv screen -- so we can watch the game, just as if we were seeing it on cable...but minus commercials. Oh darn.
     The worst part about this wonderland of defense, offense, field goals and touchdowns is that two of our favorite teams (the Denver Broncos and the University of Michigan Wolverines) both lost -- during overtime. Double overtime for Michigan.
     I don't want to talk about it. (sigh)

     On the other hand, the University of Colorado Buffs won. The same team everyone made fun of for years...and is now #9 in the college polls.  Go figure.

And Go Ralphie!

12 trendy stocking stuffers from the dollar store!  (Specifically Dollar Tree -- thanks, Brad's Deals)

Christmas dining room twinkles.  (From Thistlewood Farms)

Another celebrity sprints backwards, after making a firm vow to move to Canada if Trump won. Look for this trend to become a flood...Canadians are probably disappointed. (Or relieved.)

Efficiency equals beauty. Another tome from Mr. Money Mustache -- the man doesn't post nearly often enough.

A trip to Thailand.  Gee, I'd love to do some traveling now. (From Retire by 40)

"Octomom" is no more. One of my favorite celebrity trash people is in the past. Darn...but what a relief for her kids. Can she hold out, if she's offered a boatload of money to revert back?

Puzzling over Christmas presents.  This was earlier this year, but still helpful.  (From Surviving and Thriving)

Nine of the most financially irresponsible players in NBA history.  (From Bleacher Report)

Streusel-topped pumpkin pie. Oh my.  (From Good Cheap Eats)

Toward a slow and simple life. A photo-essay...almost like walking in the mountains yourself.  (From Living with Less)

Turkey lessons..from someone who cooked roast turkey 22 times in a row! (From Simple Bites)

I have to try this:

Ten weird discoveries associated with mummies.  Including the earliest-yet Gospel of Mark fragment...found in an Egyptian mummy mask!  (From Listverse)

Nine kid-friendly party foods...not to mention appetizers for Big Kids.   (From our buddette, Betty Crocker) Like these chicken enchilada bites:

The caramel fruit dip caught my eye, too:

A cop is banned from a San Diego 'Day of Transgender Awareness' event -- because others might be put off by her uniform. Turns out not only did she help plan the event...she's transgender herself.
          Yep, that's tolerance for ya.

Have a great week.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Good Food, Recipes...And Celebrations

     The Christmas Goodies blog is starting up again.

Holiday Goodies has been going for longer, but will ramp up, as well.

We'll be featuring stories and some great treats, including that fine old tradition:

The Seven Fish Dishes.

Stop by, and take a look.

Maybe There's More to the Story...

Like this heart-wringing tale about Caleb, a little autistic boy who's prevented from saying his line in the Thanksgiving play, by a thoughtless teacher who grabs the microphone away...

Except it isn't true.

Mom (Amanda Riddle) said he was supposed to say "gobble gobble" at the end. So did 'Dad,' Kent Squires. They were adamant that was his line.

Well, it wasn't.

Another attender took photos of the program and put them on Facebook:

Oopsies, Caleb isn't even listed at the end of the program. In fact, he wasn't supposed to say anything at all. See why here.
     He wasn't one of the final speakers. (My guess: he saw the kids standing in line, and decided to join in. And since he wasn't bothering anyone standing there, why not.)

Contrary to what the edited clip above suggests, he DID say lines. Here's the full play, if you're curious:

Look at about 6:00 for his line. Again at 7:17 and about 8:11. Sometimes they're yelled...sometimes you have no idea what he said. But he DID say lines. More than some of the kids. Even though they weren't in the script.
    He enjoys himself wandering around in the background, wiggling, swinging up and down on the back fence, sticking his fingers in his mouth, etc. etc. But the teachers (and the audience) obviously can handle that -- including his enthusiastic yelling out phrases during the song. Special needs kids do that on occasion. Perfectly normal. And the teachers (and audience) realize that.

So, at the very end of the play...could the teacher have noticed him, and waited just a second? Would it have hurt anything for him to say 'Gobble gobble'...or whatever?
    Of course not. My guess is that she wasn't sure what he would yell in the mike, or she was hurriedly trying to conclude the program. Other kids enjoy yelling in the microphone, after all. (We know a little boy who got a kick out of turning the lights off during services...the assistant pastor's son!)

But to paint this teacher as a heartless, cruel person?  The principal certainly didn't think she was maliciousalthough he said things could have been done differently. (And they could have.)
     Kids with autism don't always understand. It's not their fault, it's just the way autism operates. The Brick drove a special needs schoolbus route for years, and still has a soft heart for kids who need a little extra help. Both of us feel strongly that these kids should be treated just like other kids. Note word choice here: not as SPECIAL, but as NORMAL. No special treatment. Treated like other kids.

But for his parents to act this way, considering that they KNEW he wasn't slighted during the presentation? In fact, it looked to me like extra allowances were made. A lot of them.

UPDATE:  Turns out there were a LOT more allowances made than even I thought...be sure to read this article from Appalachian Magazine.)

Why does this bother me? Because over the years, the Brick and yours truly have met up with parents of challenged kids who argue that their child shouldn't be treated differently than anyone else...then promptly start demanding special privileges for their little dear. If denied, they not only threaten to sue, but don't hesitate to march to the local newspaper, news station, etc. to give their side of the story -- and nothing else. We've seen this so many times, I've lost count.

I'd say Caleb's parents should be the ones making an apology.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Words, Words...

They can mean so many things.
      Even when something's left out -- or in!

Have fun fooling around with words this holiday weekend.

Things to do in public Funny Picture to share nº 14280:
(Werk on grammer and speeling in your free time, wile your at it...
       Now that's me playing with words!)

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving, American-Style!

I know... you Canadians already had yours.

Have a great, restful day.

Many of the photos on this blog come courtesy of Morguefile.com... we are thankful for them.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Coming Home for the Holidays

Christmas cake's in the oven;  pecan pies will happen later today. (After all, it's midnight right now.) Turkey's thawing, and I'll start peeling potatoes in the evening. (The girlies love mashed potatoes so much that I have to cook at least ten pounds worth.)
     So at least the food area is making progress.

 A few things got cleared away, a bunch more books listed for sale on Amazon, and more appraisals need to be sent before I head for bed.
    The Brick's doing better right now, but the kidney stones definitely haven't passed yet. Pain comes and goes.
    Our girlies, plus our new son Keith, will be here for dinner on Thanksgiving. Coming home -- I love them for making the effort. We'll eat too much, talk a lot, then watch Plymouth Adventure -- which they enjoy making fun of. Loudly.

I don't care -- it's just nice, having them home.

See if you don't get a lump in your throat from this 'coming home' story...

Amtrak made its own heartwarmer, about a little stuffed dog who also wanted to go home.
     See it here.

Wow.  (sniff)

Monday, November 21, 2016

Getting Ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas -- Several Frugal Ways (Part II)

Hopefully, you've read the earlier post for budget-saving Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. How about some more ideas?

*Make your Christmas presents -- in the kitchen. Like these recipes from Country Living magazine.

If you're drooling already, recipe's here -- makes a nice Thanksgiving dessert, too.

Tins (from discount stores, dollar stores -- or the thrift shop) keep items fresh and in good shape.  (Which means you could make some of these now, like this Christmas cake! ) While you're at it:

*Start a new tradition, foodwise. It could be as simple as brussels sprouts on the Thanksgiving table (something Daughter #1 started at our house), or as elaborate as a Sachertorte, a deep chocolate cake fresh from Vienna.

*Another possibility: a fancy-pants dinner -- but prepared at home, not out to an elaborate restaurant. Even if you serve lobster and steak, even if you pay full price, it will be less expensive.
      For decades, our Christmas Eve dinner has been seven fish dishes, from an Italian custom celebrating the seven sacraments. (You know -- birth, baptism, marriage, etc etc.) I budget for it throughout the year -- and pick up sale items. (Like the jumbo shrimp I just bought from Sprouts: $6.99/lb, and the cans of lobster bisque found at a discount store: a measly dollar each.)
     Last year's menu is here.  This year's menu will be coming up at the Christmas Goodies blog...you can sign up to follow it by e-mail, or become a follower.

*Sew something -- quick. Unless you're really fast, it would be difficult to whip something up for Thanksgiving. (If you want to try, go here -- a few blocks for pillows or placemats should stitch up quickly.)
     There's still plenty of time to do a Christmas project. Like these free pattern links, courtesy of McCall's Quilting. (You'll have to open an account -- but it's free.) Use them for your own decorating, or give them as gifts.

P.S. A Hanukkah wall hanging is included in the links, too.

*Here's an even faster idea: choose a specialty fabric and make napkins! Any good fabric shop will have an interesting selection of pumpkin, Pilgrim, snowman and Santa prints -- and many are on sale during Black Friday weekend! One yard of fabric can make 8 napkins. (Cut 9" x 10" rectangles, turn the edges over, and quickly stitch by hand or machine.)  For more ideas, try A Thrifty Mom in Boise's comments and instructions.
*The same fabric can be used to cover your existing pillows for home dec accents -- then used for other purposes after the holidays. (A yard can be wrapped around the pillow, with the ends of all four corners knotted together in back.)
     Or buy pillow covers: as little as a few bucks each (and free shipping!) on Amazon.

I ordered this and  'Merry Christmas' above for our house: 4.95 total, including shipping.

Reading about other people's plans for the holidays will give you ideas, too. Like this one, from Diary of A Stay at Home Mom.

Happy Thanksgiving to you.  Relax and enjoy...

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Monday Stuff On the Way to Other Stuff: It Isn't Thanksgiving Week -- Is It?

Naaah. I have too many appraisals to get done, and a house to clean. Can't be that time already.

The Brick is having some pain: kidney stones, we think. Fortunately, he has this week off from driving schoolbus for field trips.
    Do I have time off, as well? See above.

Monday morning update:  The Brick is still in a considerable amount of pain.  (Doctor's appointment this afternoon. Update:  Kidney stones, all right -- just have to wait them out. Or through, as the case may be.)
      Meanwhile, we had our own blood-and-gore event: Charley finally caught the mouse that has been hiding upstairs the past week or so. This little stinker's favorite hobby was to zoom back and forth under the fireplace bricks while we were watching tv at night. (Unnerving, to say the least.) He ignored all the traps the Brick set out, but they were finally his undoing: one caught his leg this morning while Charley was chasing him. (I'd thought someone had stepped on a squeaky toy, for a minute there.) A few enthusiastic shakes by The Faithful Dog, and Mr. Mouse was ready to be thrown to the chickens.
     What a mess...but I'll choose that anytime, instead of the nightly Mousey 500.

Someone took a closer look at the 112 anti-Trump protesters arrested so far in Portland, OR. Guess what:  35 of those people weren't even residents of the state! Another 34 didn't vote -- at all. Only 25 of the protesters arrested actually voted. Hmm....  (from IJR)

Donations to the Clinton Foundation plunged as Hillary Clinton's campaign faltered. I wonder why? Her fees from giving speeches went from millions to 'only' $375,000. Ouch.

Pets who LOVE Planet Earth II.

Fake news isn't the problem, says Snopes.com's managing editor -- it's more that "people are looking for someone to pick on." Speaking of fake news:

Facebook picked up a bug for a while that declared its users dead!

Ten lessons learned from ten years' experience.  (From The Simple Dollar)

Did you notice the secret message that flashed between Abraham and Sasha on the first episode of this season's The Walking Dead? I sure didn't, the first time around -- on the other hand, I was too grossed out by what happened after that. If you're a fan, take a look here: it's subtle, but meaningful.

Homeless men and women...as they would like to be seen.  A photo essay with captions that will make you think.

15 easy ways to make money for Christmas...and other times of the year.  (From Moneysaving Mom)

VanGogh's long-lost notebook is said to have reappeared in recent years. Or is it really a fake? (From Artnet)

Little Miss Madam the chicken.  We have one like this...we call her Mrs. Bossy. (From Our New Life in the Country)

Another unfortunate dissolves in a Yellowstone hot spring -- because he and his sister were foolish enough to try "hot potting." Really sad.

15 ways to dress up your candles. Christmas presents, anyone?  (From Hometalk)

Chicken mini-turnovers. (From Mennonite Girls Can Cook...I guess they can!)

Ten gifts for people who already have a lot.  (From The Simple Dollar)

A 'modernist mantel' -- for those who don't have a fireplace. (The Apartment Therapy post includes a lot of things for sale, but I'm guessing you can figure out the insanely cool PVC wreath in this, among other things.)

A man turns 15 -- and his son 5 years old on the same day. (They look a LOT older, by the way, for good reason. Hint: the son graduated from high school recently.)

Six ways to tell if someone is lying...advice from former CIA officers.  (Thanks, Parade.)

Speculation on the Wild Hunt.  I'll let you figure this one out for yourself...but it's weird.  (Listverse)

Weird (and a little creepy) facts about the Titanic.   (Yes, this is one of my interests...)

"What I'm Wearing For Fall."  Goofy, but inspiring.  (From Emily Henderson)

A Belgian home/workshop -- simple, basic and cobbled together mostly from scavenged and hand-me-down items. But it sure doesn't look it... from Dwell.

Clean up and condition your leather furniture with a simple ingredient: olive oil! Wow.  I plan to try this on our old-but-loved leather couch. (From The Tattered Rabbit)

Conditioning a Leather Couch to make it look new again

And not to be outdone:  The 12 Stinks of Christmas. Oh boy.

Happy Thanksgiving -- have a great week.

Getting Ready for Thanksgiving AND Christmas -- In Several Frugal Ways

Yes, I know Thanksgiving is four days away. But it seems almost unreal...like that big holiday with the C-word that's coming down the pike in about a month.

That doesn't keep me from doing it as frugally as I can:

*Double-check the paper goods -- I'll haul out what I bought at the end of last season for 50-90% off.  (Tuesday Morning is FANTASTIC for finding deals like this. They have higher-quality matching paper plates, too. Even their everyday pricing is good. Make a note to stop in on Friday to get Pilgrim/Thanksgiving stuff for next year.)

*Check the grocery ads.  One blogger advocated waiting to buy until the last minute for Thanksgiving -- she argued that was when food prices suddenly dropped, especially for turkey. By golly, she was right this year! Both Safeway and King Soopers not only have turkey on sale, but potatoes and frozen pies have magically dropped in price. Some baking goods, too: butter, eggs and cream cheese. Even ice cream and soda are cheaper. Go figure.

*NOW check available coupons. Several match up with the extra-low grocery prices. (Go here for a start.) Are they out? Get a raincheck.

*Think about NOT buying any holiday decorations. I know -- it's tempting to splurge on lights and those leeetle tiny houses that will make your mantel look sooo cute. Can you go without for just one year, and use what you've already got, instead? Then if you're still in love, pick up those items after the holidays -- but for much less.

*What's outside that you can use, instead?  Thanksgiving is perfect for a centerpiece of pine cones and fir branches -- especially when you add tiny pumpkins, some pomegranates, a head of flowering kale, or those mandarin oranges on sale. (About $1 a pound at my stores.) Include some fall leaves sprinkled in for an autumn touch. Go here for more. Yes, this works for Christmas, too.

*Wrapping paper and ribbon are cheap, colorful and a great source for decorating.  Cheap, that is, if you get them at the dollar store, with coupons, or on sale. (Which they are right now.) Tiny boxes, wrapped and interspersed with fir branches and tiny lights, will really glow by your front window. (Or wrap real presents, and save yourself the extra trouble.) Wrap the framed pictures and paintings you already have hanging. Tie a series of bows on a plain straw, grapevine or greens wreath.
     Or try this:

Another idea source: any of the '1000-plus' tutorials on Pinterest. Mesh ribbon wreaths are especially stylin' right now.

*Christmas cards? Maybe yes, maybe no.  Don't send any cards at all. (Gasp!) Or send only to out-of-towners, consider sending e-cards, instead -- or use postcards.
The Frugalwoods are advocating sending 'business' Christmas postcards -- and they've got proof it's not only cheaper, but really cute.
     Sadly, our expenses for these are decreasing. I send cards primarily to uncles and aunts -- and we've lost quite a few older relatives in the past few years.

Part II's up!  Go here for more.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

I Must Be Hungry...

This one started it...

And finally...

It's been a strange weekend. Neither of us feels in tiptop shape, so far. I did some work, then we watched a whole season of TURN and cracked pecans. (The Brick wants his "pa-eye" for Thanksgiving -- it's gotta come from somewhere!)  Back to the regularly scheduled program soon...

Stop Motion At Its Best...Or Worst?

I don't know whether to be creeped out by this...or thrilled.

See what you think.

Coraline stop motion is super creepy

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Gray clouds pushed over the horizon when we woke up this morning. Chilly air, too. I cut up the last pumpkin for the chickens before it froze. (The chickies were unaffected, pecking and shoving each other around, but headed straight for the coop when the wind picked up.)
    Charley the dog loved the brisk air, jumping and leaping. He took time out to yell at the 'evil' doves who persist in hanging around on the telephone wire. (Shame on them. This is his yard!)

I shivered back into the house, Abby the dog close on my heels. Time for an extra pair of socks, and checking the forecast.

One flake, then another. Eventually, it turned into:

A cozy bed on a snowy afternoon

Our first big snow of the season.  'Big' is relative -- the mountains have been having snowfall for months now. Finally we flatlanders can experience it, too.

Guess I'd better go make some soup. (Maybe this, instead.) Or a snowball sundae.
    What the hey -- maybe this, too. After all, it's starting to accumulate.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

The New 2017 Color Of The Year Is...

Purple. Deep, dark purple, otherwise known as SHADOW  (#2117-30)

This one's a big contrast from Benjamin Moore's 2016 choice. That was SIMPLY WHITE!

But wait...it changes, depending on the light.

Makes it much more interesting, not to mention versatile.
(Yes, it's the same paint in both photos.)

Apartment Therapy's got some suggestions how to use this deep, dark color... but I'd say you really need light to pull it off successfully, like the strong uplighting used in the staircase photo. Plus windows. Lots of windows. Otherwise, it's going to feel like a cave in your home of choice.

Spring? What Spring??

As of early Saturday afternoon, we have more than a foot of snow on the ground -- and it's still coming down. It literally happene...


text:
After being woken up by my alarm early on the Friday morning, I started my morning routine excited about the second day of Film4 Frightfest. This day would also see the opening opening of the Discovery Screens which would each show a film alongside the film playing on one of the main screens. It would also see the first and last three films of the day play in a different order across the Arrow, Film4 and The Horror Channel screens.

In the Film4 Screen, the day was kicked off by the English Premiere of Eli Roth’s cannibal horror THE GREEN INFERNO. The film had already played in Glasgow earlier in the year with Roth in attendance but for Frightfest, it was confirmed a while ago that Roth would not be attending the screenings. This is disappointing (especially for his fans) but considering the fact that there have been problems surrounding the general release of this film, we were all very lucky to see the film.

FF_01Inspired by such cannibal films like Cannibal Holocaust, The Green Inferno follows a group of student activists as they travel to Peru to stop the destruction of an ancient tribe by a corrupt construction company. After delaying the workers the students climb aboard their plane in good spirits only to find that their plane has been sabotaged. Forced to make a crash-landing those who survive the wreckage are kidnapped by the very tribe they were working to protect.

So The Green Inferno is Eli Roth’s return to the directors chair after a six year absence but it also serves as a homage to the Italian cannibal genre. As a film it is brutal and unrelenting. It goes to some very dark places and will no doubt have everyone squirming in their seat with its savage imagery and impending sense of doom. However, the only thing this film does is to shock. The plot is very simple, the acting is very basic and the scares are in short supply but the make-up effects are fantastic and seem a little bit too realistic for my liking. But, if you are a fan of Eli Roth then you should check this one out… if you ever get the chance to do so.

ff_02Next up was the World Premiere of SHOCKWAVE DARKSIDE 3D, a film from the producers of last years shocker Banshee Chapter 3D. Directed by Jay Weisman, Shockwave Darkside is a thriller set in the future where the Earth’s water supply has been poisoned by a neo-plague. In hope to save humanity a team of soldiers are despatched to the darkside of the moon to harvest water. When their ship crashlands behind enemy lines, the surviving members of the team have a limited air-supply and discover a secret that will shock their world.

Right off the bat, this had to be the worst film I have seen in quite some time. The 3D was awful, the sound quality was substandard and the film itself looked awful on screen. There is a chance this might have something to do with the format the film was played in but either way, nothing in this film was entertaining or engaging. I sat through its 92 minute run-time in hope that it might eventually get better but it didn’t. It feels more like someone has collected a bunch of cut-scenes from a computer game and edited them all together to get this mess of a film. So if you ever get the chance to see this one make sure you approach with caution as I certainly don’t recommend it.

FF_03I decided to skip the Q&A with Jay Weisman in search of sustenance but I returned to the Film4 Screen to watch the UK Premiere of LATE PHASES. Directed by Adrian Garcia Bogliano (Here Comes the Devil), this film offered a unique take on the werewolf genre. Starring the film tells the story of a wounded war veteran Ambrose (Nick Damici) who has recently moved to his new home within a gated retirement community. During his first night he bares witness to a savage dog attack on his neighbor and quickly learns that old age is not the only killer in this neighborhood. After narrowly escaping an attack himself, Ambrose grows determined to stop the perpetrator of the vicious attacks during the next full moon.

This film was a superb breath of fresh air after two disappointing films. Bogliano’s direction was great and the film looked amazing on screen. As for performances, Nick Damici (We Are What We Are) and Ethan Embry (Cheap Thrills) do a fantastic job to bring a sense of realism to their roles but the true star in this film is the special effects. The wolf transformations are both fun and from what I see is done entirely in practical effects and was in the same class as An American Werewolf in London. I simply couldn’t stop smiling. So this is one that I can recommend and it is certainly one that will join my  film collection on its release.

FF_04As we moved into the second half of the day Robert Englund’s latest project The Last Showing was being shown on the Film4 Screen but I decided not to see it as I was going to venture into the Discovery screen to check out a screening of Eduardo Sanchez’s bigfoot found footage horror EXISTS. Starring Dora Madison Burge, Samuel Davis, Denise Williamson and Chris Osborne as a group of colleague students who decide to head to a cabin in the woods. After a car accident leaves the front of their car damage the group arrive at their destination unaware that their cabin is situated right in the middle of a monsters lair.

During the introduction we were told that Eduardo Sanchez wanted to make a credible Sasquatch film that not only had an amazing monster but he also wanted to give it a sense of intelligence and rationality about it. So after watching the film I can say that Sanchez fulfills his intention and really delivers with Exists. Not only is is entertaining and tense but it has some pretty gnarly kills under its belt not to mention one of the most effective scares of the weekend. Sure, the cast aren’t that great but I am willing to let that go as the rest of the film is nicely polished. For those of you who were disappointed by the lack of any action in last years Willow Creek you should seek this one out as Exists is action-packed and twice as scary.

FF_05Next up was Tommy Wirkola’s highly anticipated sequel to Dead Snow. DEAD SNOW 2: RED VS DEAD picks up right where the first one ended and sees the return of Vegar Hoel Stig and Frode Heriksen in this laugh-a-minute tour de force. After having losing his arm in a vicious fight with the evil Zombie leader Herzog, Martin (Stig) is found unconscious and taken to hospital where he is accused of the murder of his friends. Unlucky (or lucky depending on how you see it) for him, Martin has had an arm stitched onto his body only this arm isn’t his but belongs to Herzog. After breaking out of Hospital Martin learns that Herzog is still alive and is intent on wiping out everyone in his way. But with a little help from a long-dead army of fallen Russian soldiers, Martin is determined to put a stop to Herzog and his zombie army once and for all.

Bigger, Better, Bolder and Bloodier than the first, Dead Snow 2 is a prime example of how a sequel should be. Wirkola has exceeded all expectations and keeps up the ante on this excellent comedy horror that will have you in pain from the number of laugh-out-moments in this film. There is no denying that this movie isn’t fun, in fact it played superbly with the frightfest crowds who reacted perfectly with gasps, sniggers and uncontrollable laugh-out-loud moments. You won’t believe what Wirkola does with a tank and a sandpit, a crushed ribcage and one hell of a love scene. Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead is a film that has to be seen with an audience and I have yet to speak with anyone who did not enjoy it.

The last film of the day in the Film4 screen was Gerard Johnstone’s Housebound. However, considering that my own wishlist of films for this years festival included Wolfcop and The Drownsman it was a cruel twist of fate to find out that they played against each other so I knew I had to give Housebound a miss. So based on the fact that I knew WolfCop was due for release in the UK on 13th October I made a decision and got a ticket to see Chad Archibald’s latest project THE DROWNSMAN which was playing in the Discovery screen.

FF_06Pitched as a homage to such films as A Nightmare on Elm Street and Hellraiser, The Drownsman introduces a different kind of screen villain. Starring Michelle Mylett and Ry Barrett, the film follows a woman called Madison (Mylett) who finds herself scared to death of water after almost drowing in a lake. After becoming convinced that she is being haunted by something supernatural, Madison’s life is at risk of falling apart. As a last attempt to resolve the problem those closest to her hold a seance to prove her visions aren’t real. But when one of them breaks the circle the monster haunting Madison is given the ability to cross over and begins to take her friends one by one forcing her to face her fears and stop The Drownsman before she becomes his next victim.

Borrowing elements from A Nightmare on Elm Street and The Craft, Chad Archibold has crafted a whimsical horror film that explores the notions of lost, struggle and personal demons. I liked the film and although it is clumsy at certain parts I was happy with the end result. As a film it was engaging enough to hold me in my seat and I thought Ry Barrett did a fantastic job as the title character. He was both imposing and menacing. Overall, the film had more positives than negatives and that fact alone deserves the thumbs up from me. So if films like A Nightmare on Elm Street float your boat then The Drownsman is something you should look out for.

I might not have particularly enjoyed The Green Inferno and I know that I didn’t like Shockwave Darkside 3D but overall, the second day of Film4 Frightfest was a success. My film of the day was Eduardo Sanchez’s Exists closely followed by Tommy Wirkola’s Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead.

Tags : Dead Snow 2ExistsFilm4Film4. FrightFestLate PhasesShockwave DarksideThe DrownsmanThe Green Inferno
Jon Dickinson

The author Jon Dickinson

[HORROR AND SCI-FI EDITOR] Jon Dickinson graduated from Sheffield Hallam University in 2006 with a Bachelor of the Arts degree in Communication Studies with an emphasis on PR and Multimedia. Since graduating he has contributed to several publications and regularly attends some of the biggest film festivals in the UK including Film4 Frightfest.


text:
Merak SS Engine

From Citroen SM Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

A well-known upgrade is to install a Merak SS engine. It is rated at 220 BHP, which it achieves at higher RPM. At low RPM it's similar in character to an 3.0L SM engine.

Engine Differences

Engine Specs

  • (from 1974 Merak SS)
  • Bore × stroke 91.60 mm × 75.00 mm
    • 3.61 in × 2.95 in
  • Displacement 2965 cc
    • (180.935 cu in)
  • DOHC
  • 2 valves per cylinder
  • Compression ratio 9.00:1
  • 3 Weber carbs
  • Maximum power
    • (DIN) 210.9 PS (208.0 bhp) (155.1 kW) @ 5800 rpm - Maserati handbook states 220 bhp DIN
  • Specific output 70.2 bhp/litre, 1.15 bhp/cu in
  • Maximum torque
    • (DIN) 255.0 Nm (188 ft·lb) (26 kgm) @ 5000 rpm
  • bmep 1080.8 kPa (156.7 psi)
  • Specific torque 86 Nm/litre
  • Main bearings 4
  • Bore/stroke ratio 1.22
  • Unitary capacity 494.17 cc/cylinder

  • The Merak SS engine, Maserati C 114.55.30 and C 114.63.30 is completely different to the standard 3 litre SM engine, though externally appearance is very similar.
  • The only shared parts are:
    • timing chains
    • bearings, gaskets (except the water pump seal and valve cover gaskets)
    • sleeves
    • nuts and bolts
    • camshafts
      • Same as 3.0/IE engines
  • The SS engine serial number starts with 520.000 or 610.000.
  • The early engines used a hydraulic assist to the original Renold tensioner
(this was on engine number 610.008).
  • The hydraulic tensioner started around number 610.113.
  • The difference between 114.55.30 engines and C114.63.30 is the lightening holes in the hydraulic tensioner.
  • The early versions up to 610.150 use hydraulic tensioners with holes in them
    • Later engines (David Hume seen numbers up to 610.645) have no holes.
  • Basically the SS engine has bigger valves and heads that flow 20% better than the stock SM 3 litre ones.
  • The cam lift is more radical and the pistons are more domed for due to the larger bowl in the head.
  • The other huge change is the oil circuit it is completely different.
    • Maserati was trying to stop the oil from centrifuging in the crank shaft by splitting the main oil journal in the crank behind the oil pump and making the oil go two places instead of one.
  • Valve covers had six bolts, not 5 in the SM.

Notes on the conversion

To fit the engine, the only addition to the car is the correct carburettors (possibly come with the engine) and 'big bore' exhaust manifold parts as both tubing and mounting hole spacing is larger.


text:
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Active Alerts

One hospitalized after 2-vehicle hit-and-run crash in East Topeka

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 22:49

Topeka police are looking for the driver of a Chevrolet Cavalier who fled the scene of a two-vehicle hit-and-run crash at S.E. 5th and Market on Saturday.

Topeka police investigate shooting Saturday evening in 1100 block of S.W. Fillmore

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 22:45

Topeka Police are investigating a shooting Saturday evening in an area just west of downtown after a gunshot victim was dropped off at Stormont Vail.

Topeka Police calls — update for April 29, 2017

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 19:59

Police calls

AT&T dropping out of Kansas phone program for the poor

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 18:12

AT&T says it will withdraw from a Kansas program that subsidizes landline telephone service for low-income residents.

Topekan builds Kansas chapter of organization that helps traumatized public safety pros

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 18:19

The September 2014 gunshot death in the line of duty of Topeka police Cpl. Jason Harwood, a colleague, left Kacey Wiltz searching for a way to give back to the community.

Topeka governing bodies to discuss gun rules, request from Kansas Gas Service

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 19:57

Gun rules and a request from Kansas Gas Service will be among topics local governing bodies take up this coming week.

Washburn University exceeds $125 million fundraising goal

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 21:17

Washburn University has reached and exceeded its fundraising goal of $125 million as part of the Topeka college’s first-ever comprehensive campaign, university officials announced Saturday.

Topeka VFW post, DAR members honor Vietnam War-era veterans

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 17:39

George Bruce counts himself lucky.

March for Babies draws crowd to Lake Shawnee despite rain

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 17:28

A steady cold rain didn’t stop Topekans from marching Saturday at Lake Shawnee in support of families who experienced premature birth.

Topeka weather: It’s going to rain more

Sat, 04/29/2017 - 16:23

Cool and rainy.


text:
Tail Recursion in Common Lisp ???

    Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1986  12:44 EDT
    From: "Scott E. Fahlman" <Fahlman@C.CS.CMU.EDU>

    It is my belief, based on what I know of the constraints various groups
    feel they are working under, that there is no chance in hell that
    required tail-recusrion removal will be added to Common Lisp in the near
    future.  There's just no point in discussing this further.  If you want
    a guarantee that tail-recursion will be handled well, use Scheme or that
    subset of Common Lisps that are able to support this; if you want a
    guarantee that your code will be efficient in Common Lisp, use DO.

    I believe that tail-recursion removal will be ALLOWED in the final spec,
    though some groups read the current manual as requiring a full call,
    even from a function to itself, in case someone has installed a new
    definition for FOO in the middle of running FOO.  We will discuss this
    and, I hope, find a set of rules under which tail-recursion removal is
    legal (but not required) unless the user has explicitly requested the
    full call.  We will of course try to clearly document exactly what is
    allowed and what is required in this area, once this has been decided.

    -- Scott

I agree with Scott's sentiment: we just can't require it now.  One minor
correction: the removal of tail recursion is not necessarily synonymous with
failing to examine the function cell at call time; that is, one might have
removal of tail recursion (stack doesn't grow when you do a tail-recursive
call) that is not implemented by a simple JUMP instruction back to the top of
the current procedure.  Tail-recursion removal is more general than
self-recursion removal.  For more flames, see my paper in Proc. ACM '77
National Conference.


text:
Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Twilight Zone Time

I miss the diabetic dog dreadfully. We've put down a few animals in our marriage, it's never easy, and this one was painful in the extreme. Winnie was a large lab, around 75 pounds, so her not being around leaves a big hole in the various corners of the house. My husband is still stepping over her in the morning when he reaches the bottom of the stairs and I'm getting up at god o'thirty to let her out so she doesn't piss on the rugs, except, hello? So the other night I hear her tags jingling. I mean jingling, and I'm thinking, get a grip, woman! And I hear it again a couple of nights later. I'm starting to think, hmmm, this is getting a little too Twilight Zone for comfort.

Then at dinner tonight son mentions that he's been going into the garage and playing with her dog collar so he can pretend she's walking into the room.

So I guess I'm not going crazy after all!


text:
Welcome to the new version of CMN!
Some help showing the new functions How-To

How-to: Browsing the forum effectively

Bomag 772 Landfill Compactor Video

Discuss waste compactors here
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:13 pm
Real name: pixmafia
Location: Hertfordshire

Bomag 772 Landfill Compactor Video

Post #1 by pixmafia » Sun Jun 08, 2008 12:25 pm

Posts: 549
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:03 pm
Real name: john smith
Location: oldbury west midlands
Been thanked: 1 time

Re: Bomag 772 Landfill Compactor Video

Post #2 by john345me » Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:58 pm

heres two bomag compactors both with over 26000 hours on the clock :dizzy: bet they cant wait to the end of the day :lol:
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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Losing It, by Erin Fry, earns the Literary Classics Seal of Approval

Every once in a while you come across a book this good...

Losing It is the story of a young boy who shares his dad's passion for baseball and junk food.  But when his father suffers a stroke, Bennett is forced to move in with his aunt and her family.  Bennett resents his situation almost as much as he resents his meddling aunt and her health-nut-tendencies.  But he soon comes to realize that his poor eating habits, paired with his aversion to exercise, will not help him to live a happy and productive life.

Genuine characters bring this story to life as young Bennett learns to find his inner strength along with the drive to succeed in ways he never dreamed were possible. You'll find yourself cheering for the "fat boy" as this unlikely hero conquers his weaknesses and fears and learns that sometimes it's OK to come in last.

Author, Erin Fry, has succeeded in creating a truly magnificent work of youth fiction.   Losing It is a triumph and a must-read for young audiences!

LITERARY CLASSICS Book Reviews & Awards

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tab-countries tab-basemap analysis-country analysis-data map-settings control-share tab-analysis analysis-alerts control-locate control-legend control-more facebook googleplus twitter analysis-alerts analysis-download analysis-remove analysis-draw control-legendtoggle_off control-legendtoggle control-minus control-plus control-reset control-resetzoom control-search tab-basemap tab-canopy control-share location timeline layer-carbon-emissions layer-conservation layer-forestchange layer-forestcover layer-forestuse layer-people layer-stories layer-country

Meaningful information

GFW Climate catalyzes action on climate change by providing timely, credible answers to questions about carbon emissions from tropical deforestation.

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Forests in high definition

Explore the landscape and analyze carbon data on the interactive map.

Interactive dashboards

Customize reports to show the data you want to see, the way you want to see it. Combine your indicators then save,print or share your report with the world.

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Monitor progress

See how emissions from tropical deforestation have changed over the 21st century.

Compare countries, jurisdictions and areas of interest

Easy to access, easy to understand, everything in one place . Select multiple areas of interest and compare information side-by-side soyou can make the decisions that matter.

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  • Features for Journalists

    On a deadline?Find facts, maps and figures for your story about forests and climate change here, now.

  • Features for conservation organizations

    Share your work'scarbon successeswith donors and partners. Explore opportunities for new projects, and find the information you need to attract support.

  • Features for donors/government

    Informed decisions for maximum impact.Compare data, explore trends, and gain new insights about the regions you support.

  • Features for businesses

    Performon-the-flyanalysis to estimate emissions from deforestation in your sourcing regions.