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Q. Where do I go to check books out?

Please bring books to the Services Desk near the lobby on the 2nd floor when you are ready to borrow.

You will need your Comet Card or TexShare Card. Government-issued photo IDs will be accepted if you have misplaced your Comet Card.

  • Last Updated Jan 23, 2018
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Thursday, January 21, 2016

Remembering love

A working meeting of friends is a great way to remember a loved one, I thought. I was there for an all-India gathering of people, on the day one of their leaders had died. I listened as people walked up to the mike, reported on the work they had done, mentioned their plans and ended with 'Inquilab zindabad'. In all those talks was a mention of B and how she had suggested this, and encouraged that.

I felt their love, but it was when her husband spoke that tears stung my eyes. He was calm; there was no catch in his voice, no tears. It was what he said.

'Our friends were right when they said they could not capture all of B's personality. There were so many facets to her. I was lucky enough to be in a position to study her closely, I always kept trying to understand more of her. Everyday I would see a new side to her.'

'I still consult her when I am trying to do something. It is a habit hard to get out of. I relied on her so much for advice, for inspiration.'

'For the last 10 years, I have been living with the shadow of her death over me. But not her. She absolutely was not afraid of death. At the same time,she had not given up. She wanted to live. She loved her life.'

He went on, smiling as he talked of her. He laughed sometimes, was stern sometimes, as he gave instances how she had acted and how we should now.

And that is what I want for myself. That someday, Mian remember me with this love and affection. With tenderness and admiration. That he continue to 'consult his comrade because he's gotten into the habit of it'.

But for that, I need to become someone worthy of it. I need to be wise, and patient, and strong, and uncomplaining, and passionate, and committed, and fun, and so much more. Time to get to it

Gina said...

I read this a couple of days ago, and it stuck with me. I think you are worthy; I think one is always worthy to be remembered in that way. Maybe that kind of remembering is dependent on the connection and relationship between the two people rather than the characteristics of one of the people.

nadi said...

love you

Can't Stop Watching said...

You are all these things already, my friend. Never think you are not.

Many hugs, much love!


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The English department of UWED organized an excursion for the first year students of International Relations to State Museum of History of Temurids. The given trip was dedicated to our great ancestor Amir Temur, whose birthday is widely celebrated in Uzbekistan these days. The legacy of Amir Temur is highly honoured and respected as an example of dedication, courage and justice. Sohibqiron was the founder of the powerful state of its era, the patron of science, culture and spirituality, the great creator who made an invaluable contribution to world civilization.

Along with that students of UWED had chance to visit Tashkent Polytechnic museum, where they could get to know the unique exhibits created by the students of the Turin Polytechnic Institute.


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Where to spot the movie stars at TIFF

Posted August 15, 2018 by Linda Barnard in Best Places to Travel in Canada

Juliette Lewis signs autographs for fans during a gala during a previous edition of the Toronto International Film Festival. (Julia Pelish file photo/Vacay.ca)

Story by Linda Barnard
Vacay.ca Writer

TORONTO — The elevator in the downtown Toronto luxury hotel was crowded. At last, the doors started to close.  Then one more guy stepped in.

George Clooney.

He began scrolling through his phone. People stopped talking.

Being polite Canadians, everyone in the small space moved in comic unison to look down at their shoes and considerately ignore the superstar.

Just another day at the Toronto International Film Festival, about to mark its 43rd run (September 6 to 16).

The festival brings a slew of the famous to Toronto each fall to promote films bound in the coming months for multiplexes and Oscar nods. Clooney was at TIFF 2015 promoting Our Brand is Crisis. I strained to get a side-eye glance at his screen saver. Lake Como? His wife, human rights lawyer Amal Almuddin?  Their basset hound, Millie? I couldn’t tell.

Ryan Gosling stars as Neil Armstrong in “First Man”, one of the most talked about films at the 2018 Toronto International Film Festival. (Image courtesy of TIFF)

As a movie writer about to cover my 13th TIFF, I’m often in the company of stars, at least for the average 10-minute duration of an interview, or in passing in a hotel hallway as they head to their next TIFF event, bracketed by publicists and staff.

These meetings are in areas of hotels the public can’t access during TIFF. Security, photo ID press badges and sign-in stations ensure gawkers are kept at bay.

But if your Toronto vacation plans include catching the energy and excitement of TIFF — and they should — your best bet for spotting stars is to immerse yourself in the real reason for this top global film festival. See some movies.

TIFF18 has an outstanding film lineup. And where Toronto departs from film fests in Cannes, Venice and tiny Telluride, Colorado is that this is a festival for movie lovers, not just studio executives, buyers, marketers and insiders.

Movie fans descend on downtown Toronto with the hope of catching a glimpse of a Hollywood star during TIFF. (Julia Pelish file photo/Vacay.ca)

“Every September we invite the whole film world to Toronto, one of the most diverse, movie-mad cities in the world,” said CEO and TIFF director Piers Handling at a recent media conference.

The cast and director usually appear onstage at screenings for a question-and-answer session with the audience, or to say a few words about the film. You could be the one to ask Lady Gaga how she prepared for A Star is Born, or query Canadian actor Ryan Gosling about playing astronaut Neil Armstrong in First Man.

Don’t fret if you couldn’t get tickets to the premiere. In most cases, the cast stays in Toronto to do interviews the next day and they usually show up for the second screening Q&A.

The cast usually takes the stage before the lights dim for gala presentations at Roy Thomson Hall but there’s no Q&A afterwards.

Lady Gaga stars alongside Bradley Cooper in a remake of “A Star Is Born”, which is scheduled to be shown at TIFF 2018. (Image courtesy of TIFF)

The bonus for stargazers who don’t feel like waiting for hours to get a good view along the red carpet in David Pecaut Square is that the action is streamed onto the theatre’s big screen as the cast and crew arrive.

Yes, you can get tickets, even if a movie is marked as “off sale” on the website. Keep checking back at tiff.net as more seats are often released, especially that day. (Go to tiff.net for single tickets and packages.)

You can also join the rush line outside the theatre for last-minute tickets, which go on sale about 10 minutes before the screening starts. I’ve used the rush line to see sold-out films. It works.

Where else can you spot stars? Although they often take back doors and hidden entrances into parties, they are always on the red carpet outside theatres. Fans will stake out places for hours but you can catch a glimpse if you time it right. No matter how deep the crowd, you’ll know the celebrities have arrived by the barrelling freight train-like roar that follows the arrival of the luxury SUVs that shuttle them to the theatres.

Here are some other great places to stargaze at TIFF18:

  • InterContinental Hotel Toronto Centre (225 Front Street West): This is base camp for media interviews and video and photo shoots. Most of the stars are there at some point during the festival. Have lunch or a drink in the lobby-facing Azure Bar & Lounge and keep your eyes peeled.
  • Bars at downtown luxury hotels: Shangri-La Hotel Toronto, Four Seasons Hotel Yorkville, The Hazelton Hotel or the Ritz-Carlton.
  • Montecito Restaurant (299 Adelaide Street West): Owned by Canadian director Ivan Reitman, this restaurant hosted the after-party for I, Tonya last year as well as the swanky soiree for Hugo Boss.
  • The west-side Windmere Street entrance to the TIFF Bell Lightbox (350 King Street West): This is the entrance stars use for the several daily media conferences at the Lightbox.
  • Soho House (192 Adelaide Street West): TIFF party central, especially for casual late-night drinks.
  • Storys Building (11 Duncan Street): Also a daytime media junket site and often used for celebrity panels. I interviewed Scarlett Johansson there.

There are many movies I’m excited to see at TIFF18. Here are a few:

If Beale Street Could Talk

Canadian actor Stephan James is among the cast members in “If Beale Street Could Talk”, directed by Barry Jenkins. (Image courtesy of TIFF)

Her Smell: Elisabeth Moss plays a self-destructive punk rocker. Directed by Alex Ross

First Man: La La Land director Damien Chazelle and star Ryan Gosling reunite for this space race drama.

If Beale Street Could Talk: Moonlight director Barry Jenkins returns with this drama based on James Baldwin’s book and starring Toronto actor Stephan James. (Check the Vacay.ca article featuring James talking about his travels.)

Roma: Alfonso Cuaron’s black-and-white film is set in 1970’s Mexico City, examining a year in the lives of members of a middle-class family.

Beautiful Boy: Starring Timothée Chalamet as a young man struggling with addiction. Steve Carrell plays his father. Based on real-life father-son memoirs.

A Star is Born: Bradley Cooper directs this remake of the Hollywood price-of-fame chestnut with Lady Gaga as the insecure singer.

The Death and Life of John F. Donovan: Quebec filmmaker Xavier Dolan’s English-language debut looks at fame and the price of letters from the past and stars Kit Harington, Natalie Portman, Susan Sarandon, Kathy Bates, Thandie Newton and Jacob Tremblay.

About the Author

Linda Barnard

Linda Barnard is a Toronto-based travel writer who covers stories geared to energetic and experience-driven 45-plus travellers for Vacay.ca.

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The Vagenda

100 Things Every Twentysomething Needs To Realise About This List of 100 Things Every Twentysomething Needs To Realise

So I don’t know if you guys realised, but ‘Elite Daily’ (‘The Voice of Generation Y’ – I don’t know whether the name of the publication or its strapline makes me vom tiny little pieces of my blackened soul mixed with Wasabi curry more) has published a list of ’100 things every twentysomething needs to realise’. Nope, none of it is ‘your parents’ generation destroyed the possibility of you ever owning your own home’. Or ‘tattoos are definitely, definitely permanent’. Or ‘a Filet-o-Fish McDonalds meal after seven ciders always ends up liquefied on your bathroom floor, in some variation or another’. Basically, none of their tips are actually useful.

But you know what’s the next best thing to useful? HORRENDOUSLY INSULTING. And ‘Elite Daily’ (come on, I mean, who runs this thing? The Bullingdon Club?) have gone with their fair share of that. A few I take issue with:

3. Shaving is more than a suggestion. That goes for men and double for women.”

I don’t really think we need a huge amount of commentary here, considering that the whole ‘hair removal being a social imperative’ thing hasn’t been the coolest Hackney warehouse to party at since, like, 2005. And the “double for women” thing? Sneak peek into reality: if you’re ever using the phrase “and that goes double for women” and it isn’t directly preceded with “men should be expected to have one orgasm per awesome sex session”, you’re probably being sexist.

4. If you eat enough pizza, you will turn into a tub of oily cheese.”

This hardly ever happens.

“6. Getting high gets old.”

You know, I’m not a massive advocate of rotting all your brain cells away on back-to-back showings of The Labyrinth, unending packets of cheese puffs and a heavy serving of THC (OK, I am), but still – have you seen celebrities? Approximately 50% of them are old men dancing into their seventies with a bong in one hand and a rolled-up £50 for their next hit of charlie in the other. There’s enough of them to prove that you often get old before getting high does (disclaimer: kids, don’t take drugs.)

“11. Don’t date unless you think you may fall in love with them.”

Christ. The last person I ended up going out with for a year was the same one I affectionately referred to as ‘The Slug’ after our first date. We don’t all plan our weddings the moment we drink too many Cosmopolitans at a karaoke bar and embarass ourselves, y’know. Some of us just prefer a night on the town with a guy or gal who may or may not be soulmate material, when the alternative is ‘All By Myself’ in your apartment with a duvet audience, Bridget Jones style.

“19. The way people see you is just as important as the way you see yourself.”

Whoever wrote this really shouldn’t become a motivational speaker.

“30. More tongue is not the answer.”

More tongue is ALWAYS the answer.

“32. Guys: she may say it’s an exit only, but that’s only because she’s never given it a try. #Shocker”

Totally. So after she says no, why don’t you just slip it in and see what she does? I think the worst part about this ‘tip’ is that it included its own totally lame hashtag. Then they followed it up with the hilariously self-referential ‘hashtags aren’t always appropriate’. BRING ME THE COMEDY AMBULANCE, YOU’RE KILLING ME.

“52. As a rule of thumb, don’t do drugs. You don’t ever know what you’re actually taking.”

The preceding recommendation is that you ‘live in New York City for at least a year’. And you’re supposed to manage that without drugs?

“56. If you sleep around with a lot of people, then you are a whore. But who cares? As long as you’re clean, you’re clean.”

I’m not sure whether ‘clean’ in this context actually refers to free from drugs or free from STDs. But “you are a whore”? Can’t even be bothered.

“63. They stopped making good music in the 90s.”

If you’re gonna do the whole granddad lecture about when they ‘stopped making good music’, like, really? The nineties?

“65. Lower your expectations and you won’t be so disappointed.”

As if I don’t hear this from my mother enough. But no, I’m still not dating that guy with the weak chin and the penchant for lederhosen. I don’t care if he’s rich.

“67. Size does matter. It goes for both sexes.”

Well, it’s awesome that growing a new penis and/or breasts is a viable option, then.

“80. It is morally wrong to be obese.”

Yeah, I forgot about that passage in the Bible.

“84. Don’t drink cheap liquor.”

You guys are no fun. And rich.

“85. Don’t eat crap food.”

99. You aren’t entitled to sh*t — nada. You get what you earn.

Well, that’s the Human Rights Act out the window, then. Also – I really hope somebody DIDN’T earn anything by writing this list (FYI, I didn’t for writing this one. Apart from the glowing knowledge of spreading beauty and joy which resides in my heart.)

And finally…

“100. No matter what happens, never give up. Ever.”

Which is ironic, considering that 98% of everyone who reads to number 100 on the list hangs themselves. I guess you could call the surviving 2% who haven’t been battered down by this deluge of complete idiocy as ‘the Elite’.

15 thoughts on “100 Things Every Twentysomething Needs To Realise About This List of 100 Things Every Twentysomething Needs To Realise

  1. One of the most important things I learned in my twenties was:

    Realising that almost 100% of every magazine, newspaper and TV show is NOT there to inform you accurate or quality information – because they don’t need to invest the time. People buy whatever crap they put in there and they never get challenged on it’s appalling lack of accuracy. This includes news programs who just repeat press releases from companies/government or repackage Reuters stories.

    Real journalism, even by the BBC and broadsheets died at least two decades ago, most journalists know nothing about the topics they report on and don’t bother to find out, let alone try to link issues together or put it in a historical context. The majority of the news items are reporting on trifles and irrelevances, if you cannot remember what the major news items were two days ago, odds are they simply don’t matter.

  2. This is my personal favourite from that list:

    28. If you want to know if the relationship will work out, then let him see you without your makeup.

    29. Being in a relationship is not a reason to let yourself go.

  3. What warms my insides is that a lot of young people have the top comments and calling bs on this article, with lots of young guys pointing out it’s sexist. Hoorah!

  4. 32 nearly made me throw up. I’d like to see how many straight guys would contemplate being on the receiving end, every time anal is mentioned. As to the phrasing, how about you listen to what she says and not what you want? Disgusting self indulgent childish bullshit. Why is this still happening in such a casual way? Coercion is not OK and men in particular just don’t get that when it comes to sex. And don’t get me started on 3, just don’t or I will rant about it all day just as much as 32

  5. It’s really, really messed up. I tried anal with two different boyfriends (at 8 year intervals) and each time, I nearly passed out from the pain (despite preparation), thankfully both times the guys were understanding.
    Definitely agree with you about how these guys who advocate forced entry would feel if they were on the receiving end.

  6. Oh, and “56. If you sleep around with a lot of people, then you are a whore. But who cares? As long as you’re clean, you’re clean.”

    Surely you’re not a whore unless you do it for money? Although we’ve already established that women are never free, so….

  7. “34. If you can get her into bed before date 3, then you’ll get bored with her by week 2.

    35. If you give it up too soon then he’ll consider you conquered and move onto the next mountain.

    36. Women are never free.”

    The hipster children have confused me.

  8. I actually read this “100 Things Every Twentysomething Needs to know” As a 26 year old woman number 34,35 and 36 really made me question myself, was I a whore because I fell in love and slept with my boyfriend without waiting or playing to rules. He isn’t bored yet we have been together for four months and have already planned a holiday next year. Women are never free? this statement is very powerful and again I had to think really hard about it, are we free? what did this mean? Is it the constraints of childbirth that don’t make us free or is it the fact that we will never be able to behave or do the things a man might do? I feel there is some truth in that as we are judged as women not even by men but sometimes more so by other women.


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The Vagenda

I’m An Ex-Brixton Party Girl, and No One Told Me Having A Baby Would Be Like This

I’m an ex-Brixton party girl. I’m an ex-convent girl from Sussex. I’m also, rather boringly, an ex-Project Manager.

What I am now is a Stay At Home Mum. But I feel more like a litany of exes.

I am, quite frankly, grieving ‘me’. I want me back – I liked me. I treated me well, took me places, did exciting things, never judged me; always allowed me to do whatever I wanted no matter how frivolous or ridiculous. I always liked the outfits me came up with too.

Thing is, stuff happens during birth, pregnancy and new motherhood that feels a little bit like you’ve been in the trenches of no-man’s-land dodging bullets when you thought you were just in the queue for a gurgling, podgy baby. The shock of this has changed ‘me’. She is different now.

Talking to a few mums who have had difficult or traumatic births, they all say the same: the rollercoaster of emotions post-birth feels similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – because they just weren’t expecting what happened to them, to happen.

Some women do have complication-free labours followed by luminously healthy babies that sleep through the night early on – they get that gurgling podgy baby dream. But at the other end of the spectrum are women that get ripped to shreds during labour and then are kept up all night for the next two years. Currently, antenatal classes tend to focus on the former, leaving the latter to enter the aforementioned no-man’s-land with the barest equipment to help them. And that’s about as helpful as a paintball gun in an all out war.

I remember during my antenatal class, under the guidance of the teacher, writing a list of what I would need to support me during labour: ‘Candles,’ I listed, ‘A calm playlist for the iPod,’ and then finished the whole thing up with, ‘A nightgown that will preserve a little bit of dignity and still look OK in the photos after.’ I look back on that list puzzled by the innocent creature that wrote it. I finished up in that delivery room naked and caked in blood from my waist to my toes. No one will ever see that photo. In it, I have the look of a wild animal that’s been caught in a trap and then sawn free; it chills me every time I look at it.

We need to do more about this. It’s not fair to send women marching down their line armed only with candles and birth plan wish lists. I’m not talking about scaring them with horror stories, but being pragmatic and arming them with information that they really need might be a start.

For example, what I needed in my maternity bag was some serious kit: Sitz bath granules to help heal stitches, maternity pads to soak up blood, arnica to reduce swelling, pile cream to help my sore bottom, prunes to avoid constipation, strategies to deal with the horrors of sleep deprivation – and the list goes on. Instead I had to turn to the internet to provide me with the information and signposting to resources that I needed. And considering that browsing the internet for medical information isn’t traditionally acknowledged to be the best idea, this really wasn’t ideal.

I also needed to know, at that time, that I wasn’t alone. That it wasn’t that my experience was unique in its awfulness. The pre-birth propaganda (as I like to call it in my motivational speeches) doesn’t so much cover what you need to know as what you all hope will happen. I mean, maybe some people get to light those wretched candles and enjoy the sweet sound of melancholia permeating Bon Iver’s second album, but I’ve not met anyone yet. Doesn’t that tell you something?

Then there’s the baby to manage. Even if your body is failing you, you must be able to detect and manage colic, baby sleep habits and reflux, and know how to breastfeed – to name just a few. All of which are bewildering if you’ve never met them before. We’re making great strides in supporting breastfeeding, but what about the other issues? What about post-natal classes for mums that actually cover this stuff so we don’t all end up weeping into our keyboards and desperately trying to find the answers on Mumsnet forums at 3am? What about even making mention of the psychological impacts of having a baby – of missing your former self and your former life, even while you love the child that you have made? What about making your natural grieving period for that life OK, and normal, and accepted?

Childbirth is, in reality, pitted with risks, but we are lucky enough to live in an age where there is medical intervention to see us through. Parenting is very much the same, even if the risks then are more emotional than physical (although a toddler taking a flying leap at the right angle can and will bruise your ribs.) We need to talk about this stuff, and prepare for it. It needs to be a stop point on the pathway to motherhood, so that we don’t end up lost in the wilderness with a screaming child the minute we’ve pushed it out of us.

Personally, I would much rather have come home to all the equipment I really needed to bring me back to physical and psychological health, rather than unlit Jo Malone candles and a freezer full of lasagne. Wouldn’t you?

26 thoughts on “I’m An Ex-Brixton Party Girl, and No One Told Me Having A Baby Would Be Like This

  1. This is one of the reasons that SureStart centres were (and, where still open, are) so amazing. Staffed by trained professionals to whom you can turn with any problems, my lcoal one has been more amazing than my health visitor, who I didn’t see once my daughter and I were signed off after the birth. It’s why I’m so livid that the centres have been so savagely cut. There is precious little resource out there (that isn’t online) for people who don’t live near their family. For anyone reading this that needs this kind of help – exploit your health visitor, midwife, GP’s surgery, local childrens’ centre (if you still have one) and Baby Cafe (again, if you have one) for all they’re worth.
    And about mourning that “old you” – you’re not alone here either – I love my baby more than I can ever have imagined. An all encompassing, physically palpable, almost-painful love that I still cannot comprehend. But I miss how I was before I became a mum, and I miss the lifestyle I was able to lead. But sometimes the only way to acknowledge this is to whisper it to myself, at night, under the dark of the bedcovers while my husband sleeps. I wish more people understood that.

  2. I HEAR YOU!
    I could have written this post myself. It really, really chimes with my experience. (I’m typing this with a nine week old strapped to my chest).
    I think there are still a lot of taboos around pregnancy, birth and living with a baby. it’s hard to admit you’re not loving it all the time. It’s hard to get the truth out of people about what it’s really like. And it is just simply really, really hard to live with a baby. but no one seems to want to say it.
    There are feminist aspects to all of this – the strength of the happy mother image, the secrecy surrounding women’s bodies, the way birth has been taken away from women and become this medicalised thing that leaves so many women deeply traumatised, the lack of the kind of support you talk about. In a way it’s harder being a feminist and going through all of this, because you are aware of how un-empowered you feel.
    I dont know if it’s any comfort to you to know you are not alone. All I can say is that I really identify with a lot of what you wrote about.

    Two things: in “Misconceptions”, Naomi Wolf writes about her sense of losing her self when she was pregnant. I read it on a train when I was seven months pregnant and I wanted to stand up in the carriage and shout: “this! This is what I’m talking about!”

    And this:

    Thanks for telling it like it is for you, and all power to you.

  3. I do wonder: if we knew all this beforehand, would it really help? I read every birth story out there before my son and still nothing prepared for the sheer brutality of giving birth. And in the days (months!) after he was born, I remember thinking that people always fixate on the birth, but *this* was much worse, but struggling to articulate why it was so damn hard.

    But what I do think needs to happen is for society to be a bit kinder to new mums and look after them a bit more. Somehow we’re all expected to be up and about looking great after a couple of days. Just feeling a bit ‘tired’.

  4. I was severely told off by my older sister for telling a friend about some of the realities of childbirth – as though non-mothers are too delicate to know the truth.
    I also have a theory that if we all had more help/info about new babies, there would be less ‘postnatal’ depression. There’s no doubt PND exists but I think some people are ‘just’ reactively depressed due to exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy.

  5. Thank you so much for writing this! This article really resonated with my experience. My son is nearly 3 years old and I am only beginning to feel like my ‘old self’ after struggling with postnatal depression since his birth. I agree that society needs to re-evaluate its treatment and expectations of new mums. When my gran had her children you stayed in hospital for a week. I wouldn’t have wanted to stay that long but at least it acknowledged the physical toll of childbirth. My husband and I find our antenatal classes laughable now. I agree that women should be better informed of the realities of childbirth and child rearing.

  6. Anne, I totally agree. And I think the shock can bring on depression too, childbirth can be really really traumatising.

  7. I’ve wondered about it too, but on balance I think being armed with information is more useful than not knowing. Basic things, for example how to look after stitches and also knowing some of the risks, such as the risk of a prolapse, which is the real reason women need to do pelvic floors.

  8. We need to tell our truth to those who ask. Girls and women need honest accounts of the good and the not so good that comes from choosing to have babies, so that when their turn comes they really are making an informed choice. Society needs to grasp the nettle that proper care for parents and babies costs money and to see this money as an investment in it’s next generations health and well being. It also supports parents at the start of their new chapter so they grow to feel capable, seen, heard and appreciated.
    On a lighter note, you are asking 1 or 2 people to take in a complete stranger, who has ,in exiting one of the people changed intimate parts of their landscape from national trust flower bed to view of the Somme.( Note to those who think analogy not PC, blood: yes, screaming: yes, changes everything irrevocably: yes, wishing you could change your mind and go home:yes.) This stranger, whom you have screamed and bled for,doesn’t speak your language yet, is incontinent, demanding as hell, keeps to an erratic schedule, wails and cries to communicate their needs, has the attention span of a goldfish and wants everything right now. And we wonder why parents feel slightly overwhelmed!.

  9. I really felt for the author of this well written piece.

    I think that much of the enshrouding of the ‘realities’ of childbirth and being a parent in mystery is done in order to perpetuate people continuing to stick to the societal norm of having children.

    Also, most people find that when faced with the reality of say a childbirth film, or on hearing how their best friend has been made incontinent by childbirth or discovered that their sister, after 5 rounds of IVF that were soul destroying, got pregnant, had a baby and then fell into chronic, chronic post natal depression, would simply say to themselves, “oh, that’s a shame, but I’m sure it won’t happen to me.”

    This image of motherhood as some life pinnacle is dangerous, as well as the idea that anyone can do it – easily, it hurts people. Information about the reality of it should be accessible, especially about breastfeeding if people do have babies, it’s not as easy as it seems!

    If people were more honest about how brutal having a child was, it would quite possibly, put many people off and, I think that may not actually be a bad thing given that the affects of growing up with a depressed mother who can’t cope or the impact that poverty and stress can have on the relationships between parents can push them to breaking point and make for a very difficult life.

    Children can be a wonderful thing for people, sure, but it’s not essential to being happy but I am yet to find a mother who would ever admit that perhaps not having children would have been a better plan because quite frankly, who could live with that acknowledgement for twenty years whilst they are forced to pour all their emotional and economic resources into parenting?

    There is a bit of brainwashing that needs to go on regarding having children in order not to resent the lack of freedom and how hard it really is and so women are reluctant to admit the downsides or to humorise them, “Oh, I haven’t been alone for five months/years, I’m looking forward to when school starts/going back to work so I can go to the toilet/bathe on my own, huh, huh!” – that’s not comedy, that’s making light of a reality that I’m not sure many people really want to go through if they think about it.

    But instead of telling men and women about having kids really, really entails and the possible downsides of becoming a parent, we all pretend it’s bloody marvellous and turn it into one upmanship on who is the most tired, that’s not helping anyone.

    More people speaking up, like EW really would help alot of folk.

  10. I’m currently overdue-pregnant, and I’m honestly terrified about life AFTER birth. I’m expecting birth to be pretty much horrific, but that’s a day or two or three. What I’m expecting to be REALLY horrific is the early months. I’m terrified of being at home alone with it, I’m terrified of my partner not understanding what my days are really like as he skips off out the door to carry on his normal life, I’m terrified of the expectations of other regards my ability to get over birth quickly and cheerfully and of course being sleep deprived for ever. I lost myself the minute I saw the ‘Pregnant’ word on the pregnancy test, I’m hoping that I get a semblance of me back to help me deal with the parts of my new life I’m terrified about. The old me would have seen it as a challenge.

    If one more person tells me that I’ll lose interest in my job and career the minute the baby arrives, I might scream.

    Thanks for writing this down, I ‘knew’ it before by putting together the experiences of my very open friends, but it’s nice to see it written in one honest account.

  11. Thanks for your article! Me, too, I was not prepared for the things to happen to me and my body during and after childbirth. I’m not quite sure what I expected, but I remember that I kept on worrying about the “After Baby Body” I was heading to. Little did I know. My looks were not a problem at all: I pretty much immediately looked just as I had looked before pregnancy. Had I been a model before, I could easily have strutted the catwalk again only three months after my baby had been born. However. I would have strutted them with milk-soaked shirts – no pad would help – and farting loud and incontrolable farts from my back as well as from my lady parts. Having ripped open during labour, I had completely lost control over that sections of my body. Nobody prepared me for THAT.
    It’s become much better now, but I am still not as in control as I used to be. Also, I am still advised not to go running yet, as my pelvic floor still can’t handle the agitation, either. Needless to say I can’t go to my old martial arts classes anymore, either.
    I should add that my child has just turned three years old.
    Nobody had told me that the phase in which you can’t sleep through because of your child can easily last for 1,5 years and more. And best of it: All the other mothers but one did not seem to have that much of a problem with it! Only now did I catch one of the “Oh no, my baby sleeps through the night! I get enough sleep!”-mothers from back then muttering something about the painful sleep deprivation she used to suffer from. It is a mystery to me why she could not admit that back then.
    And as for the litany of exes: There is nothing to add. I felt exactly the same way. It’s become better now I have a job again, still, there are a lot of hobbies I used to have and that have simply been replaced by being a mother.
    I love my child with all my heart. I thank heavens for his existence every single day. I would go through everything again for him. But it’s unfair that nobody ever mentions that there is a price to all that luck.

  12. This article has both terrified me and reassured me all at once. I’m 18 weeks pregnant and all the books are just telling me how to breathe and then suddenly then they jump straight to how to breastfeed. They make me assume it’ll all be a brilliant, calm experience which I should “enjoy”.

    But in the back of my mind I keep thinking, but what if it DOES go wrong? What do I need to know, who can I turn to? This is what childbirth classes should cover – and they should be pre and post birth to help everyone adjust.

    I want the horror stories so I can be prepared – if it happens to me, at least I’ll understand what’s happening and not be in a blind panic wondering where my soothing music has gone!

  13. I couldn’t agree more on the need to prepare pregnant women (and partners) for the realities of birth. My nct class was all candles, massage and breathing. What tosh! I really recommend hiring a doula birthing partner, she has seen much more of birth, and can advocate your wishes with the hospital staff (I got fed up repeating the birth plan to the revolving door of midwives.. ). Mine was great support in a traumatic birth. Agree on more info about practical help for stitches, blood loss, anaemia etc would also be a good idea. I love my son to bits but the trauma of birth caught me out, despite having read multiple pregnancy books. I tell it like it was , I don’t want others to have the same induction horror that I did , I just wish I had known more before I got to hospital…

  14. Thank you so much for writing this. 3 years ago I had an emergency c section. No one told me what it would be like, how frightening it would be or most importantly that it was okay. I left the hospital feeling like a failure, unable to give birth to my own child. I had problems breastfeeding because of the pain afterward. I felt like i was a failure. My body had failed to do what it was meant to. And to top it off I found myself alone with my baby all day isolated and left to brood while everyone got on with their lives. I suffered horrible pnd which really finished me off. Eventually I broke down and just gave up. Looking back I would have done anything for someone to just say that feeling like that was okay. That I wasnt a freak. If we were all a little more honest I wouldnt find myself sitting in the park looking at all the other mommies and wondering why I was so bad. Now I know its hard for all of us and we should share it to support each other

  15. I have a 6 month old baby, and can absolutely relate to this piece.

    Pre-pregnancy, I fell on the way to work and limped in with blood running down my leg and a big scrape – I was greeted with satisfying high drama and given celebrity treatment for the day. However, recounting a twelve hour labour, the pain of childbirth and 3rd degree stitches didn’t even warrant a remark – or worse, was greeted with ‘oh, it was fine then’. I just don’t understand why women are expected to breeze through such massive physical acts without comment, when everything else in life is treated so differently.

    HOWEVER, I strongly believe that rather than further information about the horrors of childbirth and providing lists of what can ‘go wrong’ – which the piece and comments above concentrate on – the focus should be to give women the confidence and ‘tool kit’ to deal with the unknown journey their childbirth will take them on and how they’ll choose to react and respond to that. Each woman’s birthing experience is so different, no-one can fully prepare us for what is ahead. Hypnobirthing (an accessible practice, increasingly accepted by mainstream midwifery) emphasises women’s intrinsic instinct and ability to birth their baby, provided they are given the skills, time and support. But the feeling is that when you start warning women about what can go wrong, confidence is lost and the experience is taken out of the mother’s control and further medicalised, and this is something I really resonate with.

    I have thought long and hard about why my birthing experience affected me so profoundly, why I’m finding motherhood so hard, and where the overwhelming feeling of ‘why didn’t anyone tell me?’ came from. And I can only speak for myself, but I don’t think I’m alone in my conclusion: I feel hard done by. I feel hard done by because you simply can’t prepare for it, and when it doesn’t go to plan there are no protective safety barriers – no job description or appeal tribunal when something unfair happens. You can’t make demands of anyone else – ‘how can I possibly be expected to perform when I wasn’t adequately prepared?’ – because there is no-one accountable but you. As a contemporary woman who can be pretty demanding, having no-one to be demanding of is a massive culture shock.

    Thanks EW for a brilliant article that really got me thinking.

  16. Hear,

    Thank you for writing this.

    Read Rachel Cusk’s – A life’s work. [When, you know, you have your brain back. in 2 years or so].

    Every time I send a congratulations card to a new mom I want to write ‘enjoy your time together’. And every time I check myself. Because I remember how totally untrue that rang in my own birth-aftermath.

    I think we wish people the enjoyment that we would like them to have – that we ourselves missed out on. But we should get over that myth. Yes, it has amazing moments. But the whole thing is more like an endurance race across a desert or mountain range: having to push yourself whilst teetering on the edge of existence – with an occasional breathtaking moment.

    Thank you, again, for writing.

  17. I always think it’s unfair that so many mums go back to work just when their children are getting more interesting and less exhausting. I would have given anything to be given a ‘break’ in the office when my daughter was a few months old. It is exhausting dealing with a crying, puking child all day by yourself (not that everyone has one of these, but these lucky mums are those you see out in restaurants, looking like a baby is just an optional extra to their life. I wondered why I couldn’t achieve this for many months, and asked what was wrong with me, and where was I failing).

    I actually blame my mother for given me the wrong impression of early parenthood as she told me word for word, that her house had never been cleaner than in the first few months after birth, and that newborns sleep all day so there’s no excuse for not getting stuff done. I now know she was one of those lucky mums with an amiable child who’ll sleep when they’re tired and murmur a bit when hungry.
    I also now make sure that I never say ‘enjoy every moment’ to mum-to-be friends, as although time does indeed pass quickly and the baby stage is short, it was a saying that contributed to me feeling incredibly anxious and sad that I wasn’t enjoying every moment. In fact, I usually couldn’t wait for the day to end so I might get a bit of a break. Babies are lovely little things, but they are also tiny, opinionated sacks of opinion who can make life REALLY tough for quite a while.

  18. And then of course some babies just die in utero at the last minute and no one ever tells you about that.

    Baby loss awareness week 9th – 15th October

    The secrecy surrounding and focus on birth being a natural thing women have done forever is so dangerous I feel. Women and men are going in unprepared. It’s common for birth partners to suffer post traumatic stress too. I too read loads of birth stories but every single one was censored and edited to make it palatable or kept saying that it didn’t matter how bad it was because there was a baby at the end.

  19. It made/makes a HUGE difference for me. I chose not to have children for many of the reasons mentioned on this page. Also for other reasons not mentioned.

    I do think women and men need to really question their decision to have children and need as much information as possible. If you end up having them great, if you end up child-free great too.

  20. Goodness that story rings true! I was in an environment with a lots of ex-pat women in a foreign country and spent countless hours with them and their children. I was one of three that didn’t have children in a group of about 15. The mums were so careful around us for so long and we insisted we could handle their birthing stories or their Gina Ford stories or the breakdown of their relationship stories or the loss of their career and identity stories. And I’m pleased they trusted us to let us in on the reality of it all.

  21. I truly don’t want to appear rude or snide as this is a genuine question – but when you say that society and needs to re-evaluate it’s treatment and expectations of new mums and that women need to be better informed of the realities of childbirth and child rearing – I wonder what responsibility you have in that? Having and raising children, I’m told, is the most important thing anyone will ever do in their lives so why would one go in so blindly? Surely we aren’t short of people to ask what it’s like or what to expect?

    Thanks for reading.

  22. I’ve read a theory that illustrates that marriage, motherhood and pregnancy were initially glorified by men in order to encourage women to yield to the constraining concept of marriage and go on to produce an heir (obviously an outdated motive but still, I think, the reason most women are still made to feel they are obligated to have a baby). Motherhood is also made out to be so special and amazing, the prime purpose of a woman – again to encourage the ‘stay at home mum’ idea, which in turn limits the woman in favour of the husband. Children do not make a woman, though I feel this is the general consensus. I get told by men and by OLDER women (my traditionalist grandma’s mainly) that its odd I don’t want a baby – I’ll possibly succumb to this one day, not because I want one but because I feel judged for having not done. Can anyone whose actually had a baby possibly relate or at least see where this argument is coming from?? What does anyone think??

  23. I could totally cry right now reading this, as it captures everything that I’ve felt and feel. I’ve thought about starting a movement or more appropriately a cult, just for “us”. Do you know, since my c-section, I haven’t been able to feel my left toe – WTF!?! No one tells you about these things, but you my dear have given me the push I needed to do something. I’m on a mission. Thank you.

  24. Hey everyone, I am a new mother and I am trying to get my four month son to sleep through the night. Right now I’m fortunate to have four hours sleep each night. Bless


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Friday, February 19, 2010

Amaryllis Planting

A couple days ago I potted up the two varieties of Amaryllis that I have grown for a few years. Looking back on my blog I am little late, Last year I had them potted by Jan 9th. One bulb has a bud coming but the rest are not showing much signs of life. Time will tell what kind of show they put on this year. Last year they bloomed really well which you can see at the following link.

This year the bulbs have produced lots of little pups. In the past new bulbs have taken one full growing season to bloom. With this amount there should be lots of blooms next year.

Here they are all potted up. I gave them a really good drink and will place them in a south facing window. At this point I will just let them do their thing and not water again until they are actively grown or if they go bone dry. To much water at this point will make the bulbs rot. I will keep y'all posted on their progress this year.

  1. I hope they do well! I have about 20 started from seed. They've been growing a little slowly. I'm hoping I'll end up with some nice (possibly new varieties) flowers.

  2. Another great show again this year, I'm sure !

  3. I received an amaryllis bulb from my mother in law for Christmas which I planted and managed not to kill - and it bloomed beautifully for me. It has since finished up for the year.. but it was fun to grow it out. Never grown one before.

  4. You have some lovely colours there Dan.

  5. Aerelonian - Seeded ones will be interesting, hope you end up with a cool new variety.

    Miss M - I hope! One bulb looks a little suspect, hoping it looks better after it rehydrates.

    KitsapFG - They are nice to have around and really don't need alot of attention which I like. They do seem to have to have a rest though to re-bloom.

    Veg Heaven - Thanks. I'd like to have a few more but always seem to forget to order well they are available.

  6. Good luck with it. I've never tried growing them.

  7. Looks good! I have been growing amaryllis for years - or should I say, they have been growing for years in my garden without my care. I originally bought a 'Red Lion' bulb several years ago and forced it indoors in water. I then put it in a pot outdoors and forgot about it. The leaves turned yellow and shriveled away and it seemed gone for good.

    In May the following year, I noticed a huge red flower outside - the amaryllis. It has since returned every year.


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Thursday, 25 August 2011

Nagi Shokudo

vegan restaurant

I've made it over the last hurdle of the summer: my school's second sleep away camp.  Added to the long days and superhuman energy expenditures required, this camp was a challenge for me because (as I mentioned a few posts back) I had to bring all of my own food for the 3 days.   It turned out quite well as there was a fridge and microwave in the dining area, and a dish soap and sponge equipped sink nearby to wash my dish.  My meals consisted of those ready to eat Indian curries, tofu burger patties, bread, natto, and a supply of fresh fruit and vegetables.  The kids got such a kick out of seeing me eat fruit and veggies as is, as it's pretty well unheard of in Japan.  The (non-vegetarian) meals provided by the camp were popular enough with the kids, but the other teachers were pretty unimpressed.  A lot of my coworkers were wishing they had brought their own stash too!

Back in Tokyo, with a day off to relax before heading back to a regular class schedule, I thought it was about time to do another restaurant post.  I'd never been to Nagi Shokudo before, but I'd heard good things.  My trusty Japan Vegan Restaurant Pocketguide said it's quite popular, and reviews on Happy Cow are positive.  The restaurant has a relaxed vibe, completed by an array of knick knacks as decoration, books and zines around to peruse, and interesting musical selections.  Half of the dining space is a raised platform for low Japanese table style dining, and the other half standard tables and chairs.

I was inclined to order the 2 person dinner set, as they tend to be crowd pleasers, and as they often move faster than other menu items, tend to be fresh.  A-chan thought the set looked a little heavy on the karaage type fried items, so we ordered a selection of other menu items.  The stir fried cucumber and yam (nagaimo) (350¥) turned out to be rather disappointing.  It lacked flavor and the several of the nagaimo pieces were staring to go bad.  The plate of sliced tomatoes and avocado with tofu mayo (350¥) were nothing to write home about, but not bad either.  We tried their eggplant and mushroom curry (480¥) next.  It had a nice flavor, but quite watery in texture.  The ratatouille was reasonably tasty and I had no complaints about the brown rice (actually genmai), pickles and miso soup set (350¥)... except perhaps that you only get two tiny slices of pickles.  The tastiest item we ordered was definitely the falafel with tofu sour sauce, perhaps not coincidentally also the only deep fried item we had. Maybe we should have gone for the 2 person dinner set after all!

Other than not being all that impressed with the food, I should mention that A-chan found the interior of the place quite unappealing. She said the washroom and the open kitchen looked pretty dirty, the utensils and menu had seen better days and the decor looked more like an oddly decorated house than a restaurant.  In my eyes, the place just looked relaxed and a bit quirky, and I didn't find it dirty.  But hey, I'm someone who eats food that falls on the floor, so I tend to be quite relaxed about such things.  Overall, given the wealth of great veggie food options in Tokyo, Nagi Shokudo is not going on my list of places to return to, though if I did end up back there, I'd like to give the dinner or (well reviewed) lunch set a try.

menu: In Japanese and often oddly translated English

おすすめ / recommendation: falafel with tofu sour sauce, plus I hear the lunch plates are yummy

good points:  relaxed setting, zines available for your reading pleasure if that's your kinda thing

bad points:  the food was so-so overall and sometimes not very fresh

Address: 15-10-103 Uguisu Dani-cho, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo

It's about 10 minutes walk from the South exit of Shibuya station.

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Hanoi strewn with sua flowers

The sua trees are blossoming on the streets of Hanoi, exposing their white flowers, creating an impressive natural beauty of the capital city.

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Sua flowers coming to full blossom:

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Viohl & Associates

A Government Relations Firm

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Blog posts : "cellulosic ethanol"

Energy Update, April 8, 2011

In the States

SD –  Governor Dennis Daugaard has signed a bill into law that he proposed earlier this year that will divert a portion of funds that previously would have gone to ethanol production plants toward grants to fuel stations for installation of blender pumps that will allow motorists to purchase fuel containing higher levels of ethanol.  Governor Daugaard referenced the recent U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) decision that allows cars made in the past decade to use fuel containing 15% ethanol, higher than the previous 10% limit.  The blender pumps will allow consumers to choose the amount of ethanol in the fuel they purchase.  SD Governor signs bill to boost ethanol industryRapid City Journal

State Fiscal News

Energy production appears to be a driver of economic recovery in some States.  In Wyoming, thousands of new mining jobs have opened up, increasing by 8.8 percent in the fourth quarter of 2010 over the same period in 2009.  Higher demand in developing countries, particularly in Asia, is leading companies to hire more workers to extract coal, soda ash, and uranium.  Rising oil prices and demand for natural gas may soon contribute to job growth in those industries as well.  These industries have increased sales tax revenues for Wyoming by 10% in 2010.  In Montana, unemployment numbers are higher on the west side of the State, where workers rely more on wood-product manufacturing jobs dependent on the housing market.  On the east side of the State, energy jobs in the coal, oil, and wind industries have kept unemployment rates much lower.  Energy powers robust Wyoming economyStar-Tribune and Montana growth slows but withstands recessionUSA Today

National News

In a series of recent appearances, President Barack Obama has called for a one-third reduction in oil imports within 14 years.  The President addressed shortcomings in previous methods in reducing oil imports, stressing that “there are no quick fixes” and that efforts must continue once drivers see relief at the gas pump.  Proposals for reducing oil imports include greater use of natural gas in fleet vehicles and buses, increased production and use of biofuels such as cellulosic ethanol (for which the President said four refineries will be built in the next two years), higher fuel efficiency standards for heavy trucks, and increasing domestic oil production both on- and offshore.  President Obama also said that “we simply cannot take [nuclear power] off the table, regardless of concerns over the ongoing nuclear crisis in Japan.  Part of the President’s message on energy independence includes an economic aspect: that transitioning to a less oil-intensive economy could create jobs.  The President cited new lower unemployment numbers adding “we need to keep the momentum going” by “making a transition to a clean energy economy.”  President Obama calls for one-third cut to oil importsWashington Post and Reviving elusive goal, Obama calls for one-third reduction in U.S. oil importsWashington Post and Obama promotes his energy agenda by showcasing energy-efficient vehiclesWashington Post

U.S. EPA regulations on greenhouse gases and mountaintop removal have become major points of contention in Congress, and attempts to limit the agency have thus far been unsuccessful.  Nineteen House Democrats joined all Republicans in voting for a bill that would prevent the EPA from regulating greenhouse gases under the Clean Air Act and, beginning in 2017, from granting waivers to States for stricter emissions standards for automobiles.  A similar bill was defeated in the Senate.  Although four Democrats joined 46 Republicans in supporting a ban on the EPA regulations, the bill needed 60 votes to pass.  The fate of appropriations riders that would have restricted EPA greenhouse gas and mountaintop removal regulations in the fiscal year omnibus 2011 funding bill appeared settled as of the afternoon of April 8, when Republicans agreed to drop the measures.  If Congress does pass a bill limiting EPA’s oversight of greenhouse gases, the Obama Administration has signaled that the President would veto such a measure.  Senate rejects bill that would limit EPA’s authority to regulate greenhouse gasesWashington Post and House votes to stop EPA from regulating greenhouse gasesWall Street Journal and EPA riders axed, lawmakers sayPolitico

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Artist details
The Weeknd (Artist)
Type: Rock & Pop
Keywords: pls contact Mark DiPietro for Management requests or +1 4162583486
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The Weeknd, the stage name for Abel Tesfaye, is a Canadian singer-songwriter and producer.
The Scarborough, Toronto-born singer, songwriter, and producer doesn't say much outside of his lyrics or personal messages through his social networking sites. Ever since appearing on the scene in late 2010, he's been shrouded in mystery, cultivating a mystique that baffles our gossip-obsessed pop culture. With that said, the 26-year-old alternative R&B phenomenon is an enigma in more ways than

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How Bitcoin Works

Like This Video 0 121 Viral Syndicator
Added by January 6, 2019

How Bitcoin Works in 5 Minutes

A short introduction to how Bitcoin Works. Want more? Check out my new in-depth course on the latest in Bitcoin, Blockchain, and a survey of the most exciting projects coming out (Ethereum, etc):… Lots of demos on how to buy, send, store (hardware, paper wallet). how to use javascript to send bitcoin. How to create Ethereum Smart Contract, much more.

Knowledge is power and I'm about to give you the keys to the kingdom. My comprehensive Bitcoin guide has everything you need to know, to share, grow and protect your wealth starting today the Smart Way.

The Gold Rush Is Just Starting…

Some people will tell you, that it's too late to make a killing with bitcoin. Fact is they are the people that are going to miss out. Bitcoin has only been around since 2009 and sure, if you had this guide back then, you would undoubtedly be a millionaire today..

But hold on it's not too late to join the gold rush:

Understand this,
We have not even begun to scratch the surface. Once Bitcoin becomes mainstream, its value actually goes up. In fact if you look at the price charts for bitcoin, its price has gone up and down, but over time, its gone one way and one way only UP!

Will I understand what's in your guide?

Bye Bye Dollar

My name is Conrad Atherton Bitcoin Foundation member, and serial entrepreneur, but I have also been an instructor most of my professional life and delivering information, that's considered too technical or even boring, in a fun informative and educational way, is what I do.Which is why you should invest in this ebook today…

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End of the Line

There are a couple of problems every e-waste recycler faces.

Where to source recyleable materials? How to process things safely? What happens to the bits? Every recycler passes on the bits to specialists - whether it's paper, circuit boards, glass... unless they have the specialized mechanisms in place to turn waste into a new product themselves.

When you're at the end of a product's lifecycle, you're very much aware of what it's made of. It's amazing how many small screws, bits of glass or plastic, unexpected circuit boards and other paraphanalia turn up in absolutely everything!

Here in South Africa, recycling is still a relatively new field. E-waste recycling even more so. Where some overseas countries have the regulations, the processes, the support all in place, here we struggle on with dead ends and red tape, certain items piling up unwanted, others simply becoming uneconomical to work with.

The biggest problem most of us face is Plastic. Specifically ABS plastic. In the Western Cape there are 2 companies that say they can process this - but unfortunately both of them currently don't. There used to be an organization that creatively turned this plastic into roof tiles - but then closed. And us e-waste processors have had to make other plans.

But what happens when you reach the end of the line - no more places available to take ABS and turn it into something else, you certainly can't do so yourself, and it just starts piling up?

Overseas, yet again the innovation is flowing.

This guy mixed chopped up plastic with cement to make concrete. There's a company that makes similar products and calls them PlasCrete.

But here in SA? Nope. No-one who has the machinery to process bigger bits into smaller bits is remotely interested in giving it a shot. The government is trying to build houses en mass - why wouldn't a product like this appeal to them? Or to anyone in these tough times wanting to build a strong, lighter-than-plain-concrete structure?

The same company that make PlasCrete have also turned ABS into pothole filler. We all know Africa is FULL of huge holes in the road - this is the perfect stuff to throw into them! But no, again no-one seems to want to dip their toes into the innovation pool and try something new.

Then there's the plastic-to-fuel folk. Way-out idea, sure, but hey - it apparently works. And with the entire planet running out of oil in the not too distant future, it's definitely worth a second look.

The great thing with these options is that plastic does not have to be as thoroughly cleaned as traditionally required when recycling it. If there are bits of metal (screws, supports, springs etc) that you missed left mixed in with the plastic, it doesn't matter. If there is a label or a piece of paper, also OK. It doesn't take the intense human effort and manpower to sort out or clean - it's simply chop and go. Things like PlasCrete don't even require any extra equipment to mix or make - it's the same process as adding aggregate before forming the end product.

As an e-waste recycler it's incredibly frustrating that no-one in South Africa has taken up this torch and run with it. There is a HUGE need for ABS and "other" plastics to be turned into something else, to be recycled instead of going discarded or unused.

If only someone would step up and do it.


text:
Does Natural Penis Enlargement Really Work

16 May

Men have always wanted to impress women with the size of their penis. It is in the nature of most women to find bigger sizes to be more attractive and better. Men then go into finding ways to enlarge their penis, one of which is natural penis enlargement. There are questions regarding this method of penis enlargement and if it really works. To show you how, here are some guides to help you.

Preparing yourself

You can’t just go somewhere private and start penis enlargement the natural way. You also need to have the proper information and knowledge to do natural penis enlargement the safe way. Reading books about them is also important. If possible, read as many sources as possible.

Before starting the exercises, it is advisable to cut your pubic hair as this will be helpful later on when you start stretching, milking, or pulling. It is also recommended to start natural penis enlargement after initiating a healthy diet to ensure that you have enough intake of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients. Measure your penis correctly before the start of the whole process of penis enlargement to make sure you will see the results.

The exercises

Your first exercise will be jelqing. The basic function of this technique is to thicken and lengthen your penis. This is a nice start to natural penis enlargement as it is easy to do and only takes about 10 to 20 minutes a day, 4 to 5 days a week.

Dry milking

Dry milking is often noted as a variation of jelqing. Unlike jelqing, this form of exercise is neither messy nor sexually stimulating. As with all exercises, you need to remember to always warm up to condition yourself. Also remember that in this technique your penis should not be flaccid or fully erect, it should only be semi-erect.

PC or kegels exercise

This is the last in the list of basic exercises. This involves exercising you PC muscles, or pubbocoxygennus muscles. Try locating your PC muscle first by stopping the flow of urine during voiding. It will take some tries before you find it, but after that you, can start the exercise.

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How to Navigate the Fragmented Data Landscape on AWS

1 of 13

How to Navigate the Fragmented Data Landscape on AWS

Since launching in early 2006, Amazon Web Services (AWS) has grown into an expansive range of offerings for virtually every area of infrastructure and software—from storage, networking and computing, to applications and software developer tools. Companies re-platforming to AWS find a diverse and complicated set of options, so many that they may find themselves suffering a “tyranny of choice” for each area of their IT strategy. Data certainly is an essential part of every company, and AWS provides many options for storing, managing and analyzing it. In this eWEEK slide show, using industry information from analytics provider Dremio, we explain how to navigate all of this. While the discussion is specific to AWS, the same can be said about Microsoft Azure and Google Cloud—there are many choices to make, and none is particularly easy.

2 of 13

AWS Has Two Main Types of Storage: File Systems and Database

Companies generate many types of data. File systems are used for storing files, and databases are used for storing application data. AWS provides multiple options for each of these areas. In addition, companies have specific applications, such as email, whose data is managed by an equivalent service on AWS.

3 of 13

For File Systems, AWS Has Three Main Offerings: EBS, EFS and S3

While each AWS compute instance comes with a small amount of local storage, the file system offerings are designed to separate compute and storage and to remain available even as compute comes and goes through elastic operations. There are many differences between the three, but a few highlights are that S3 is the lowest in cost, EBS is the highest in performance and EFS is between the two. S3 and EFS are accessible by many compute instances, but data on EBS is only accessible by one instance at a time.

4 of 13

Databases Have More Than 10 Options, Including RDBMS and NoSQL

For relational databases, AWS offers RDS, which provides services for Oracle, Microsoft SQL Server, MySQL, Postgres and MariaDB. It also provides its own database, Aurora, in two compatibility versions, for MySQL and Postgres. For NoSQL, AWS offers its own DynamoDB and Neptune, as well as Elasticsearch Service.

5 of 13

In Data Analysis, AWS Has Three Primary Offerings

The AWS service for data warehousing is called Redshift, a term from astronomy, but also a double entendre for moving away from Oracle. For Hadoop workloads, there’s EMR. And for analytics on the data lake (S3), AWS now provides Athena, which is based on Presto, as well as Redshift Spectrum, which allows you to use your Redshift infrastructure to also query your data in S3.

6 of 13

AWS Also Provides Tools for Data Movement

ETL (extract, transform, load) workloads are addressed through AWS Glue, a product with features that are familiar to users of other ETL tools, but also with integrations to most of the AWS services we have covered. For more elaborate work, there’s AWS Data Pipeline, which orchestrates multistep custom scripts across the services and has more of a software developer in mind in terms of the end user.

7 of 13

Yes, There Are a Lot of Options

These options all have tradeoffs, and each has a “sweet spot” in terms of functionality, cost, security and performance. Choosing the best option is a significant undertaking. Your team will need to have a good understanding of the needs for your application, and you’ll need to develop a sense for the underlying cost model as the needs for your application evolve. The right decision today may need to be revisited down the road.

8 of 13

There's No Obvious Analytics Standout

There are three major factors that make this choice especially important, starting with data volume. Analytics is where the data from many of these services needs to come together for visualization, reporting, predictive models and more. When looking at the three primary factors that amplify the criticality of choosing the best service on AWS, look first at data volume. In analytics, there is greater data volume, which impacts the ongoing costs of the service. A difference of just a few percentage points can have a very significant impact on the monthly bill.

9 of 13

A Key Analytics Factor: Schema Diversity

As data is brought together, various schemas need to be accommodated into the final analytical store. Each service has very different requirements in this area. Redshift is a traditional relational database, and a comprehensive schema must be designed and maintained to use the service effectively. EMR is a schema-on-read approach, so the data is easy to ingest, and the need to make sense of the various structures of data is deferred to the time of access through jobs such as MapReduce. Athena uses S3 for storage, so the data is easy to ingest, but relational structures need to be defined at query time using the Presto engine.

10 of 13

Performance Requirements Can be a Litmus Test for Some Apps

Companies have many types of needs when it comes to analytics: from canned reports, to interactive BI and visualization, to machine learning and predictive models. The performance capabilities of each of these AWS services is dramatically different. For interactive needs, Redshift is likely to be the only option that meets the needs of most organizations. For canned reports, Athena or Redshift Spectrum are good options. For complex analytics or data preparation, EMR may be the best option.

11 of 13

Most Companies Will Need to Use a Mix of All Three Analytics Services

Given the options for Redshift, EMR and Aurora, there is no single option that is best for all analytics workloads. Redshift has the best performance and the highest cost, but it also requires more careful planning and management, and is best suited to relational data. EMR is a variation of Hadoop designed for AWS and its various services. Aurora has the appeal of providing access to raw data in S3, but its performance isn’t well-suited to certain workloads (e.g., interactive BI), and costs can be unpredictable. Companies will likely need all three, and they will need to rely on AWS Glue and AWS Data Pipeline to move data between the services.

12 of 13

What AWS Really Needs: A Service That Simplifies This Complexity

The primary end user for AWS is the software developer. But for data analytics, the typical end user is not someone who is going to write code or edit scripts. Instead, the end user for data analytics is the data consumer—users of BI and data science tools. Data consumers expect a number of key things for accessing the data: SQL as the primary interface, to work with their favorite tools; self-service features, such as a data catalog to search for datasets; the ability to define a logical model that captures the business meaning of the data; data lineage capabilities; and fast, interactive access, which is required for interactive exploration and analysis.

13 of 13

KubeCon's Europe 2018 Event Highlights Kubernetes' Progress, Expansion

The Kubernetes ecosystem continues to grow with new projects and capabilities, which were highlighted at KubeCon and CloudNativeCon Europe 2018.
Top White Papers and Webcasts


text:
Linux Kernel Developer Criticizes Intel for Meltdown, Spectre Response

At the Open Source Summit North America, one of the world's leading Linux kernel developers took issue with Intel's initial disclosure of the Meltdown and Spectre CPU vulnerabilities.

Greg Kroah-Hartman Meltdown Spectre

Vancouver, B.C.—At the Open Source Summit North America here on Aug. 29, Greg Kroah-Hartman warned attendees about the severe impact the Meltdown and Spectre CPU vulnerabilities could have on them, as well as detailed how Linux kernel developers are dealing with the flaws.

Kroah-Hartman is one of the world's leading Linux kernel developers, with responsibility for maintaining the stable Linux kernel, and is employed by the Linux Foundation as a Fellow. During his talk, Kroah-Hartman detailed the root impact and the response of Linux kernel developers for seven variants of Meltdown and Spectre, though he saved his strongest criticism for Intel's initial disclosure.

"Jann Horn discovered the first issues in July of 2017, but it wasn't until Oct. 25 of last year that some of us in the kernel community heard rumors of the flaw," he said. "That's a long time, and we only heard rumors because another very large operating system vendor told Intel to get off their tails and tell us about it."

The Meltdown and Spectre vulnerabilities were first publicly acknowledged by Intel on Jan. 3. The original research was reported to Intel by multiple researchers, including Horn from Google's Project Zero effort. Kroah-Hartman said that when Intel finally decided to tell Linux developers, the disclosure was siloed.

"Normally when we get a kernel security bug, it goes to the Linux kernel security team, we drag in the right people, we work with the distributions getting everyone on the same page and push out patches," he said. "Intel siloed SUSE, they siloed Red Hat, they siloed Canonical. They never told Oracle, and they wouldn't let us talk to each other."

For an initial set of vulnerabilities, Kroah-Hartman said the different Linux vendors that typically work together. However, in this case they ended up working on their own, and each came up with different solutions.

"It really wasn't working, and a number of us kernel developers yelled at [Intel] and pleaded, and we finally got them to allow us to talk to each other the last week of December [2017]," he said. "All of our Christmas vacations were ruined.

"This was not good. Intel really messed up on this," Kroah-Hartman said.

The Linux kernel is developed and run by a wide variety of organizations, and there are both corporate kernels that are backed by large vendors as well as community kernels. Kroah-Hartman said the majority of the world does not run on a corporate-backed Linux kernel. He noted that Intel is used to working with companies and only initially worked with corporate vendors on Meltdown and Spectre.

"The majority of the world runs Debian or they run their own kernel," Kroah-Hartman said. "Debian was not allowed to be part of the disclosure, so the majority of the world was caught with their pants down, and that's not good."

Intel Responds

To Intel's credit, Kroah-Hartman said that after Linux kernel developers complained loudly to the company in December 2017 and into January 2018, it fixed its disclosure process for future Meltdown- and Spectre-related vulnerabilities.

With the most recent variant of Meltdown and Spectre, which has been dubbed Foreshadow and was publicly disclosed on Aug. 14, Kroah-Hartman said Linux kernel developers were properly notified ahead of time, so that fixes could be made in a collaborative way by the Linux community.

"Intel has gotten better at this," he said.

An interesting side effect of the Meltdown and Spectre vulnerabilities is that Linux and Windows developers are now working together, since both operating systems face similar risks from the CPU vulnerabilities.

"Windows and Linux kernel developers now have this wonderful back channel. We're talking to each other and we're fixing bugs for each other," Kroah-Hartman said. "We are working well together. We have always wanted that."

Fixing the Flaws

All the reported Meltdown and Spectre vulnerabilities have been fixed in modern supported Linux kernels, according to Kroah-Hartman. He warned, however, that not all fixes have been backported to the older Linux 4.4 kernel and advised users not to run any untrusted code on systems running that kernel.

While there have been many patches made in Linux, he strongly advised users to update with Intel's microcode fixes as well, as they provide an additional layer of protection beyond what an operating system can provide.

Kroah-Hartman also warned that the Meltdown and Spectre issues will be around for a long time, as new variants are likely to emerge.

The fixes for the initial Meltdown and Spectre variants have required a lot of effort from kernel developers, and Kroah-Hartman said that there are efforts underway to develop more automated fixes.

"We are not going to be playing whack-a-mole for the next 10 years," he said.

Kroah-Hartman added that there needs to be a reliable way to automatically find the bugs, or to have an updated compiler that detects vulnerable code patterns and removes the flaws. Research is ongoing on different ways to accurately detect Meltdown and Spectre type issues in code, he said.

"Security has always been important," Kroah-Hartman said. "This was just yet another bug, and any bug can be a security bug."

Sean Michael Kerner is a senior editor at eWEEK and Follow him on Twitter @TechJournalist.

Sean Michael Kerner

Sean Michael Kerner

Sean Michael Kerner is an Internet consultant, strategist, and contributor to several leading IT business web sites.