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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Oh my god we're back again...

You know what is awesome and amazing?
(Well, besides me. I am pretty awesome and amazing...according to my mother. And ok, she was talking about how "amazing" it was that I had no shame in bringing a diaper out to the living room while we had company when I was four and putting it on myself in preparation for bedtime. Geesh Mom, did you have to remind me, as though I don't have enough embarrassing things from my childhood that are forever burned into my memory, that I was not only an exhibitionist but also a bedwetter until I was five? Ack!)
Um. Sorry. That was not awesome.
You know whats awesome and amazing?

This community is.

I was reading Calliope's blog this morning and she mentioned a year ago making pumpkin ravioli.
That was one of the first IF blog posts I remember reading. After almost two years of trying, we finally had an answer to why there was no screaming baby in our house and I was desperately searching the Internets for more. When I found blogs I became obsessed. I sucked in IF blogs like they were air and I was drowning. There were people who felt like I did, who had been where I was, who had gone where I wanted to.

So a month later I started my blog.
And I read people's blogs and commented.
And people read my blog and commented.
And I got a package from Anna and from Kate.
And I sent a package to Jen.
And I met shinejil and Kelly.
And I got a call from Kara.

It hasn't even been a year, but it seems so much longer.
I have found my home with all of you. People who are so far away - wishingforone in Egypt! Tracy, who's a republican (which ideologically is really, really far away from me)! We're all so much stronger because of each other.

Which brings me back to Calli.
Calliope let us show off what we could do together. What we could accomplish. (OK, yes, it also took Calli's ovaries and uterus and some sperm and doctors and drugs and...ok, but we *helped* is the point.)

Calliope has given up a lot to take care of her grandmother and one of those things is being able to have one of those "paying job" things. After a devastating miscarriage last winter, she didn't have enough money to move forward with an FET. A lot of amazing people came together and created U.T.E.R.U.S.
And partially because of U.T.E.R.U.S., Calli had an opportunity to get the Snork all up in her ute, snuggled in and growing every day.

(Do you guys know where I am going with this? Yeah? Aren't you *excited*? Don't you want to get *involved*?!)

It's time for U.T.E.R.U.S. to spring back into action. You can read about the latest recipients and how you can help over at the incomparable Lollipop Goldstein's place. (You *may* have heard of it...Stirrup Queens ring a bell? Yeah, if I were her I would walk around saying "Don't you know who I *am*?" every five minutes. Which is probably why I am not her.)

So I expect all of you will either:
A) Donate money!
B) Donate stuff for the ebay auction! (I'm sending a hamburger phone from the movie Juno!)
C) Buy something from the ebay auction! (Don't you want my hamburger phone? It has fake sesame seeds on the bun!)
D) Donate something crafty for our etsy store (New addition! And I am running it!)
E) Buy something from the etsy store! (I am putting up beautiful green alpaca wool from Chile. From the 1970s. My mother passed along her "Oh, knitting would be fun, so I'll buy wool while I'm living in this foreign county, but geeze, I don't actually want to knit so I'll just let this wool sit here for thirtyfive years..." gene. And her wool too. She passed that along. And now it could be yours!)
F) Arrange travel stuff for Vee and Max!
G) Donate money!

Whatever you do, don't let this be something that you think "Oh, that might be fun but I don't have much ability to help..." We can do such amazing things for each other. Together.

Please help.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Keeping it together

We are engaging in distraction therapy this week. So I will mention this once and then hopefully not say anything again (because I am so busy doing fun! exciting! things) until Friday, when I erupt with joy.

Bar results come out on Friday.

Ok! Moving on.
I survived seeing my friend J on Thursday. Her little girl E slept the whole time and I held her for most of the visit while J ate her dinner.

It's not actually being there that gets me. When I'm with a baby I'm too busy being mesmerized by her tiny hand curling around my finger or that incredibly soft swoop from her forehead to her nose. I'm sad but its tempered with awe of this little life.

It's when I leave and can feel how alone I am in the car, separated from my other travelers, glancing in my rearview window to a backseat that is empty, that it hits me in the gut.

This weekend I figured that as long as we're slowly whittling down our IVF savings to pay bills and fun things like that, I might as well spend some more of it. If we're not having IVF any time soon, why not go all out with a great big "fuck it"?

So this weekend I made the pilgrimage to Ikea with my friend E and another friend of hers. (E is temporarily rocking a Durango. We went to Cincinnati, which is less than two hours away. The three of us spent most of the day walking through the maze of cheap bright home scenes until one person would wander off, distracted by shiny Swedish doodads, and had to be hunted down by the other two. (Um, that was mostly me being distracted and wandering away...I can't blame the dad who had his kid on a leash in there. I probably should have been on one.)

Ikea is fantastic, but it does have drawbacks: I thought maybe it was just me, but E's friend J also pointed out that she had never seen so many pregnant women in one place before. They were freaking everywhere.

I managed to get out without picking up too many random objects, but I did drop a huge chunk of change on four bookshelves with height extenders so they are almost eight feet tall.

Of course, right now they look like this:

(Take away the sleepy cat and pretend you don't see my dining room floor that still has not been refinished.)

And the space they are going into in the office? Currently looks likes this:

Er. Yeah. That is all part of the distraction plan - A will be working on cleaning that space out and assembling bookshelves this week.

And now, because A took a picture when I wasn't here and it transfered over from my camera and my furbabies are just so darn cute, I give you KD and Thomas:

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Charlie done a bad bad thing

A and I actually went out last night. On a Wednesday! We left the house at 9:30pm!

My dear friends M&B are moving away. They were my first friends when I moved back here after college. A was working and going to law school at night and traveling for work on the weekends, so I practically lived at their house. B and I worked together starting his baby, the f*lm fest*val.

B recently got his dream job, but it's all the way in Tennessee. He's already moved down there while M stays here for a little while and tries to sell his business. (Anyone want to buy a psychotherapy practice? You could come live here and be my bestest friend!) Everyone is happy for B of course, but we're so sad to lose them. Everyone has been sobbing goodbye on their porch. I suspect a few people might be hatching plans to kidnap them so they can't leave.

Last night M was lonely so A and I met him at the bar down the block and sat and talked for a while. It was good, but sad.

We stayed a couple hours then went back home to find out that I am a terrible mother. I had left things where Charlie could get to them. Charlie had ripped open a package I was planing to mail today to a certain birthday girl and opened the chocolate bar and eaten the chocolate. Which kills dogs.

He jumped up to greet us and you could smell it on his breath.

A kept asking me what I was thinking and I kept freaking out. Finally, I figured out that the amount he had eaten was less than a sixth of what he would need to eat for it to be toxic, but all night I kept waking up and checking on him.

He's totally fine - you'd never know he had eaten anything. He went right to bed, didn't puke, bright eyed and bushy tailed today, playing with Betty here at work.

Little stinker's breath still smells like chocolate.

Tonight I'm making meatloaf and mashed potatoes to bring for my friend J, who just had her daughter a week ago. She broke her tailbone giving birth and I know she's overwhelmed, so I offered. She is a friend and I do want to help her out and meet her new daughter, even if it is somewhat bittersweet for me.
When I talked to her on the phone she told me how amazing it is being a mother.

Wish me luck at not falling apart.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Now I remember why I hate the Ghetto Kroger

We went back and got a few more frozen deals from the Ghetto Kroger the other day. (Mmmm..Amy's Chili with cornbread! More Julie's Ice Cream, in my favorite flavor, blackberry! Tofurky stuffed with cranberry dressing! Ok, the last one was kind of gross.)

So tonight I went back because we were out of a couple important staples - yogurt, sugar, olive oil. Of course, I got a few extra scores in my special markdown area. Organic corn meal half off! Mango salsa half off! Half and half half off (say that five times fast)!
I even managed to get some nice tampons half off ! Of course, one of the many beautiful things about being infertile is that I know I will need tampons next month. And the month after that. That's right - I can buy ahead! And in bulk! Take that, fertiles! Booyah!

Despite my tampon score (Oh! And if any Indy area ladies are looking for clearblue easy fertility stick things, they are half price in the bins, right next to the bulgar wheat and the Nascar M&Ms.) I was reminded of why infertility also sucks.

Crack whores. They love this Kroger. (And no, I'm afraid this type of woman is not a related species of Infertile Whore.)

Ok, maybe she wasn't a crack whore. I don't *specifically* remember seeing her standing out on tenth street. But she gave off the same vibe.
This zoned out woman managed to follow me approximately 1.7 miles through the store, all the while ignoring her crying son except to occasionally snap at him to shut up. Which, in my experience, usually doesn't work with two year olds.

I'm not really one for snatching babies, but I wouldn't mind smacking some mothers.

Edit: I forgot to mention the pregnant woman smoking in the parking lot. Classy.

Monday, September 22, 2008

The USA needs to play catch up

How fantastic is this:

Australian lesbians can now have both partners recognized on their children's birth certificates.

Congrats to my Australian friends. I know there is still a long way to go, but it's better than what we have here.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Show and tell: Dead Sexy Io

Thank you all for being happy my mom doesn't have cancer - we're pretty happy about it too.
Since she's ok, she and my dad have gone to Illinois for my dad's fiftieth high school reunion. I think there were about eight people in his graduating class. (By the way would-be-robbers reading this: Not only do my parents have an alarm they have the nosiest neighbor in the world. Don't bother breaking in - Mr. Jones might be ninety-four, but he will fuck you up.)

Of course, this means that my momudee wasn't around to garage sale. So I had my own garage sale. Which seemed like a good idea. At 5pm last night.

Somehow I managed to get my sale thrown together by 8am. I strongly strongly subscribe to the just-get-it-gone philosophy, so everything was a quarter. One guy bought four dining chairs, a rocking chair, a cat scratched club chair, a computer monitor, and a whole bunch of little doodads, and somehow put them ON TOP OF his little car which was already filled up with a large wife and other assorted items.
Just as I was about to put everything up to take to G**dwill, two people showed up and I sold them everything I had left (except my books) for a couple bucks. One of them just couldn't stop grinning. He was really excited about getting things: a purse for his mom, VHS tapes for himself, candles for his sister. He said I made his day, which totally made my day.

So now I just have a bookshelf and about eighty books sitting on my porch. My BIL claims he is going to come take them away but if anyone is in the area and wants a whole bunch of trashy paperbacks, you can have 'em.

When I decided last night that I was having a garage sale I realized that I would need some card tables so I went and borrowed some from my parents. While I was grabbing them from my dad's office I noticed a pile of pictures and thought I would share one with you to prove that, yes, I *have* always been this dead sexy.

You know you wish you had those glasses.

Edit: Heh. And if you don't agree with me, meet my 14 year old self. She will kick your ass and set you straight.

I was such a teenager.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The good, the bad, that's all.

The good: My mom does not have cancer.

The bad that should be good except I'm a motherfuckin infertile: Remember my friend J? She of the drugs and drinking and accidental knockedupedness?
Yeah, just got a text from her letting me know that she's giving birth to her daughter tonight.

That's all: Gotta go eat some Tofutti.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Reason to love the ghetto

You know, living in the ghetto has a lot of drawbacks. Some of my neighbors are trashy (but the crack dealer is gone!), our air conditioner was torn apart for copper (but it was old anyways and insurance helped us buy another nice new one!), and there are occasionally dead bodies found in trash cans (ok, no nice way to spin that other than saying it wasn't *our* trash can).

But one of the things that would at first glance seem to be a drawback has actually proven to be awesome.

The Ghetto Kroger.
(For those of you who are unaware, Kroger is a grocery store 'round these here parts.)

Disclaimer: You know that person who brags about how cheap they are? Yeah, I am that person. I can't help it - I was raised that way. So skip this if you find it annoying. Because that is the whole post: Me, bragging about grocery shopping scores.

Our Ghetto Kroger is a step up from the one we used to go to. When we lived in downtown proper, the choices were either ghetto Ghetto Kroger or high-ass-prices grocery store. There was also a ghetto Kroger that was so bad nobody I know would go in it.

Ours is a bit better - it's a lot bigger, has a produce section that is doesn't *completely* make me wonder about the racist/classist practices of the corporation, and has an organic section.

Don't get me wrong - it's still ghetto. The produce is not as bountiful or fresh as stores in my parents neighborhood. There is no olive bar. The store seems to have a policy of only opening two lanes, even if there are twenty people in line, which there always are. Despite our pleadings, they don't carry the New York Times like the Kroger down the road closer to suburbia(we used to get it delivered, but it turns out nobody would deliver to the ghetto and we had to cancel because we never got our paper.)

And I can't completely blame them for some of these things. Hell, I know I wouldn't use the olive bar, so I know that the crack whores probably aren't bemoaning the lack of one.
But here (finally, I know, where the hell is my point?) is my point. Because people are poor around here, they don't buy some things very often. Therefore they have manager's special stickers all the time to get rid of things that people aren't buying. I have become an expert at spotting the orange stickers from a distance. The organic/natural foods area is one of the best places for these. And tonight I scored.
The past couple of weeks, the organic section has been getting spare. They haven't been restocking. Which had me worried that perhaps they were going to do away with Amy's Pizza and Kashi.
It turns out they were getting new products, so tonight all the leftover stuff was marked way off and stuck in a freezer bin for me to find and get way too excited about.

My freezer had been close to empty - tonight, I filled up my freezer. There was a teeny bit of room left after I put everything away so I went back to buy more.
This is a shot of one small section of the freezer to give you an idea:

That Amy's Cornmeal crust with organic fire roasted vegetable pizza that is normally seven bucks? $1.25. That Julie's Organic Ice cream that's normally $4.29? Fifty six cents. That Tofuti fake ice cream crap? Actually quite tasty. And seventy cents. And I got like four huge bags of edamame for seventy five cents apiece.

I love the ghetto.

Monday, September 15, 2008

My last post asked what you do to get out of a funk and it turns out one of the best things is having lots of awesome online friends comment on a post about happy things. (I puffy heart all of you more than you can know.) I also read a trashy novel and gave Charlie lots of kisses. And watched the opening of SNL. Tiny Fey worked wonders for my mood.

(Going to the birthday party of a one year old and seeing an incredibly pregnant lady who kept touching her belly? Shockingly, this did not make me fart rainbows and butterflies. The cake was good though.)

I'm still feeling a little blah, though I'm sure it has a lot to do with the cold gray weather and the tickers across the bottom of CNN announcing the latest stock market numbers and the fact that we have less than three weeks until we know about the bar and I think the anxiety is slowly and steadily increasing. (Plus there's that whole getting a j.o.b. thing in this economy even if he does pass.)
My mom just went in to have a biopsy on her jaw because there is something on her jaw and they weren't sure if it was just an infection or... She's supposed to find out Thursday so I'm trying not to think about it - no sense it worrying until we know.

I think I'm with Emily - I feel like I need to apologize for not being able to shake the funk. I know it's ridiculous, but I feel stupid for being such a cranker.

Blah blah blah.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I'm having another feeling-sorry-for-myself day. Monthly hormonal demons have possessed me, so I know it will pass, but in the meantime...

When you feel like everything is crap, what is your favorite thing to make you feel better?
(Other than shopping, eating, or running. I'm poor, fat and lazy right now so those are not going to work.)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I remember

I feel fuzzy today. It's a gray quiet day outside and online I've been reading 9/11 postings that bring me back over and over again.

It was so quiet.

I had walked onto campus and was sitting and reading on the steps of the speech team office, which was housed in the grad student wing of old barrack-style dorms that had been converted into the Communication Department's building.
It was beautiful out.

Matt, the grad student who had the office next to ours, walked up and told me. I went upstairs and reloaded CNN.com over and over, until the towers collapsed.

I went back downstairs and sat on the steps. I didn't know what to do.
My coach walked up and I said "Did you hear?"
I suppose I will always be a part of his memory of that day.

We sat and listened to the radio. For weeks, everything I heard seemed like it had the same scratchy static white noise wrapped around it.

I tried calling my aunt who worked near the towers, my sister who drove past the Pentagon every day. I tried calling my best friend.

I don't remember when I finally got a hold of everyone or what we said, except that my sister had seen the smoke, had just left her house. That everyone was alive.

The next weeks were so quiet. Fighter planes zipped over our heads and the world hung awkwardly off its axis. My friend M and I sat and watched Bill O'Reilly because she was writing about him and he started talking about Bloomington, Indiana, "that hotbed of terrorism."

Strangely, and a bit sadly, it was a return to at least a small part of normalcy, where we yelled at conservative talking heads instead of just crying.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Thanks for putting up with my political rambling as of late - I know it's probably annoying for some people since it has nothing to do with IF and it can be divisive. But I had to let out some of my rage. I find if I don't let it out, if I internalize, that I just feel worse.
I came home today with a bad headache. I shared my opinion on something (I know, shocking) and it was apparently broadcast and I got a call from a chief who was kind of an asshole in telling me he thought I was wrong. And I can't really tell this chief that he's a damn idiot. So I apologized and shut my mouth. Messed up my head.

As usual my mom and I went garage sailing last weekend. It's so sad. We go nuts for baby stuff. There is always somebody we can justify buying it for. Clearly the brand new StrideRite saddle shoes for a dollar should go to somebody! So I quickly try to figure out who might have a little girl who is going to be a size 7. Meanwhile, my mom is trying to single-handedly clothe her handyman's son and my cousin's foster daughter. (Sad story - my cousin is trying to adopt her and her younger brother and her first mom came back to the state to fight for her, NOT because she wants her, but "so [her] kids know [she] didn't just give them up." WTF)

I always find a few things that I don't know if anyone would need them. So if anyone wants a brand new graco pack n play sheet, I got one for a quarter and don't have anyone who needs it.

I have so much stuff for other people that I collect that I almost worry for when I finally have my own kid - will buying these things for other people's kids now be enough to let off the pressure? Or will this be like my headaches and when I finally get a kid my mom and I will finally go so nuts that we'll drown them in our garage sale treasures?

Friday, September 5, 2008

Soft Core Politics: She's a mahhhhthur!

OK, if you read my blog regularly, you might have picked up that I am not a fan of McCain-Palin.*
Despite my political beliefs, I really don't mean the following post to be a gripe about any particular party or person, though it's possible some of my preference might be evident. It's more of an observation about politics in general. And, I suppose, life in general.

Of all the things that bother me about Palin, one thing has been bugging me: The fact that she's a mother. OK, not really that she is a mother. I think it's great that she's a mother. (Really. However any of us want to judge or applaud her choices, I 'm sure her kids love her and she loves them.) What I have an issue with is that during the speaking breaks (or when they decided that the speaker wasn't important enough to stay with thankgodforCspanwheretheymostlyshoweverything...) at the RNC, when they interviewed people here is what I heard:

"I think she's great. The fact that she's a mom..."

The first word of the video to introduce her: Mother.

The headline to a story about her: Sarah Palin: Mother of five...

Obviously, a lot of this identification as "mother" comes from her own telling of her story. But surely this woman, as much as I don't think she should be vice-president, could be identified for other things? What if Sarah Palin didn't have any children? What would the narrative be? Would she ever have even gotten elected as Mayor if she didn't have the PTA?
Sexism of course makes this more of an issue for her - we might still be discussing this if she were a man, but not as much and more of the glory and more of the sniping would be directed towards the female spouse. (And the PTA thing - I know that sounded sexist, but I am trying to view it as people would view her - as somebody with no kids, not as somebody without drive or ideas - does that make sense? I hope so.)

But seriously, are women with children that much BETTER than those of us without? This idea of "mother" is put on such a pedestal. That being "mother" makes you wiser, more patient, more caring. It's the subtle condescension I hear from friends who tell me I'll understand when I am a mother.

I mean really? What the fuck is that? I can accept that maybe I can't completely know the kind of love that comes with being a mother because I can feel the absence of that love. But patience? Wisdom? Generosity? The ability to potty train? Bullshit. I was a live in nanny for years to the extent I really was part of the family. I have "done" the age three with six different boys. I *know* potty training, people. (And because of all that potty training, I *really* know patience.)

And it's not just mother. Let's say the Obamas didn't have children. I don't think Obama would be on the ticket. Not that he makes a big deal out of his kids. He mentions them certainly, and they were used as part of the pageantry at the DNC, just as all candidates parade their families, but they're not a central part of whatever narrative most of us assign him. (Granted, this is due in part to being a man - once again with the sexism.) But even then, no kids and what happens?

Barack losses his ability for compassion. Michelle becomes nothing more than a cold career woman. How can they care about the future if they have nobody to create a future for?

America does not trust people without children who are running for office. (We *really* don't trust people who are single without kids who are running for public office.) Obviously, there are exceptions to this rule, but I do believe they are few and far between.

Did anyone really think Charlie Crist stood a chance being picked as McCain's running mate? Here's what I know about him: He's really tan, he's a Republican, he's a single man with no kids. (Yes, I also know he's now engaged. And maybe a couple other things. But those are the first three things that come to mind.)

I think his status as a single man with no kids ruled him out as a choice - it makes him a playboy, selfish, childish himself. Possibly gay. Poor guy. Other than being a Republican and probably a good candidate for skin cancer, he's probably great and thoughtful and all that jazz. But Americans would never accept somebody who can't haul a family on stage after the speeches.
Hell, I wonder if part of the thought process that went into picking VPs was how many children they could add to the milieu on stage. (And Biden had such a great backstory for his sons. A horribly sad and life changing one, but it plays well in Peoria.)

I think being a parent changes your life, I really do, even if I haven't had a chance at it yet. But I think that even now, dealing with infertility, it's easy to fall back into the idea that it somehow makes you a better person. I think it can. But parenthood is not the only path or even a certain path to all those qualities we like to ascribe to it.

Feel free to share your thoughts. (Kate, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Clinton - I kind of left her for you since I figured you'd have better stuff to say there.) I know this was kind of disjointed and random and maybe I contradicted myself somewhere. It's complicated and there is no definite right or wrong. But it's what I've been thinking about.

*For those of you somehow not aware, I am a flaming liberal: I am pro-choice, for gun control and gay rights. I think if you want to burn a flag, you should be able to do so even if I don't like it. I believe in economic justice and the regulation of industries that could profit from harming people or the earth. I believe that discrimination on the basis of race or religion or sex or a million other things is wrong. I believe most conservatives need to expand their understanding of what discrimination means. I believe that until we have a perfect justice system, the death penalty will be imperfectly used. I believe banning books is a crime and creationism is ridiculous. But if you want to have a book about creationism, I'll let you put it in my library. I won't teach it in my science class though, because it's not science. It's religion. I believe that speaking up about what my government is doing overseas IS patriotic. I believe that letting people die because they don't have health insurance is criminal.
Don't worry my Republican friends - I believe in a lot of other more universal things too: chocolate, puppies, booze, sleep.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

OK, done for now

It's safe, RNC is over, I'm done snarking about politics for a while.

I have been thinking about how on both sides motherhood/parenthood is such a key word. Never would a single and/or childless woman (or man, actually) be able to be considered for President or Vice President.
More on that coming up tomorrow.
The Republicans have jumped the 9/11 shark. That video was offensive.

Senator Graham - Who decided to put the gravestones in Arlington behind him on the screen as he said "We are on the road to Victory"?! Doh.

A just pointed out that our friend B would totally be the perfect person to play Sen Graham on SNL. He looks like him. And is gaaay. Not that Senator Graham is.

Oh my. Mother. Moosehunter. Maverick...the video on Palin is...um. Are the Republicans parodying themselves? Am I watching the new Wag the Dog? What?

Drink every time you hear the word Maverick!

If the first word of your video is "Mother" why do you think that we can't scrutinize that?

Cindy and John lied to each other about their ages when they first met...was that supposed to be cute? That they lie?

Everyone, speakers and media alike, has used baseball metaphors CONSTANTLY during both the DNC and the RNC. What is with that? Can we find a new freaking sport to expand to at least?

Poor Cindy. I actually think she would have done better without a teleprompter. I kind of like her in that way that I can like some Republicans. Nice people, just misguided.

Argh. These video people are missing some key stuff - it was cute when his mom interrupted the serious with "mama's boy" but you know how to temporarily break/set up for laughs.
Wait, am I trying to help the Republicans with my fab advice? I'll shut up.

The video says McCain's not petty. He's above it all. Somebody should have told all those speakers last night.

I get it. He was a POW in a tiny dank cell where he found strength. Presumably by thinking of his country or how to leave his wife once he found a young heiress. Ok, that was low. Even for me.

This green screen behind JMac is burning my eyes.

Jmac just said she's worked with her hands and nose. I know it was supposed to be knows, but he had an inappropriate pause. I was confused for a second until A screamed "He was a POW! leave him alone!"
Once again, low. But hey - it's been his answer to a lot of tough questions.

He believes in neighborhoods and communities? And I...don't? And if he believes in communities, does he believe in, you know...community organizers?

DUDES. He is taking a line Barack did in his speech about replacing old jobs with new manufacturing jobs and gave it again as his own after bashing Obama on it and my head is about to explode!

Meh, ok so he stole a bunch of Obama's speech and made it crappier and added a lot about his being tortured and loving America. Tired. Going to bed.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Oh Huckabee, I would never have voted for you, you crazy conservative, but you are adorably stupid/stupidly adorable. Way to get facts wrong in your speech (Um, Lincoln/Ford - both cars, but not the same president.) and call Obama out for those "European" ideas. God forbid we have European ideas. Wouldn't want any of that "Highest standard of living" like Norway or something. Or, god forbid, French cheeses.

And on a not so light note, Giuliani needs to go fuck himself. I hate him. How dare he get up there and talk about leading people in crisis when he is complicit in the deaths of 121 firefighters on 9/11. I seriously am shaking with anger. He passed off craptastic radio systems to the firefighters before the attacks and then pulled firefighters off the site to dump the remains like so much trash afterwards. FUCK you Giuliani. Seriously. FUCK you.

Edit: I wonder if the books Obama wrote that she talks about are the same ones she wanted to ban?

Monday, September 1, 2008

What? I didn't say anything about doing the dining room floor this weekend, did I? Surely not. That would have been *ridiculous* of me.

Uh, yeah. Haven't touched the floor.

But I did go running this morning!
And by running I mean mostly walking while my friends ran.

Doh. It's a start.
Other than that? Well, the lawn is mowed.

Suddenly I'm not sure how this long weekend got to be so short.

OK, off to Google Reader's five million posts for me to read.


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What is tomographic motion detection?

Posted on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013 in security, sensors, wireless by the machinegeek

Recognizing the shortcomings of traditional PIR and ultrasonic sensors used in alarm systems, security researcher Connected Ape decided to explore other options. He discovered this patent for a mesh system of RF nodes, designed to detect the presence of humans based on changes in the baseline signal strength between nodes. While such commercial systems are more costly, their advantage is the ability to pass through walls, furniture and other obstructions. This principle is implemented using signals in the 2.4 GHz range, and is found in systems such as those from Xandem which use the TI CC2540 RF SoC.

You can find more information and links in the post at Cybergibbon’s blog.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013 at 2:00 pm and is filed under security, sensors, wireless. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

11 Responses to “What is tomographic motion detection?”

  1. Bertho says:

    So, building this baby, or a derivative, may get you into the patent wars. I think that DP should be very careful posting patent encumbered systems.

  2. Tracy Hall says:

    Why not publish? A patent is the right to exploit commercially, not the right to keep secret. Courts have *long* affirmed the right to reproduce patented inventions in the lab. Selling a kit to recreate the invention *might* (it’s not entirely settled case law) be a problem, but building your own is entirely the *point* of the patent system – use one invention to lead to the creation of another.

  3. rfid says:

    Not quite as interesting as the WiFi gesture sensing but OK.

  4. Tracy Hall says:

    “Not quite as interesting as the WiFi gesture sensing…” ?!? This **is** WiFi gesture sensing – 2.4GHZ RF nodes….

  5. Alan says:

    Even if the detectors are great, the warning still needs to reach a human – and they need to respond.

  6. JBeale says:

    By the way you don’t need to do this at 2.4 GHz. The super-cheap baby monitor I got from Target, I believe in the 49 MHz band, has some distinctive interference noises that come and go depending on exactly where I’m standing. I assume related to various constructive / destructive inteference patterns at the 6 m wavelength it uses. I haven’t spent the time to investigate but seems like whatever is going on, could be used as a movement detector.

  7. cybergibbons says:

    I’ve been trying to get some samples to review, unfortunately Xandem aren’t obliging!

    Bertho – patents are very important for innovation. No point hiding them.

  8. CyberGibbons,

    We have no record of you requesting samples for review. I did offer to work out getting you a test system a while back, but you refused it due to lack of time. Just let me know if you have time now and we’ll figure something out.

    Matt Kankainen
    Xandem Technology

  9. Ronald Henderson says:

    Came upon this nice little article about TMD here

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Lyndsay's Favorite Game Console is a Table and Chairs

Lyndsay Peters models her "My Favorite Game Console" shirt. It took a while to get through customs – and she says it smelled of celery when she got it – but now she proudly wears it at her D&D game.

Speaking of making a sartorial splash at the table, check out her Dragon Chow dice bags. Durable, double-layered, flat-bottomed drawstring pouches perfect for carrying your arsenal of polyhedrons. Your friends will be envious of the awesome.

» Here's more about the Dragon Chow dice bags.
» Here's a complete list of sizes and styles of the shirt.
Daniel Solis
Art Director by Day. Game Designer by Night.


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A Racing Auction Game in Search of a Theme

Racing Auction Trick-Taking Mechanic

Here's a sort of auction, trick-taking, racing mechanic I've been mulling over the past couple days, in an attempt to make a racing game  Each player has two pawns representing their racers. They are placed in a line in a random starting order. Each player begins with a hand of five standard playing cards. The goal of play is to win the auction for leadership position. Whoever is in the leader position wins most points for the turn, but may be subject to unexpected hazards.

The leader begins by bidding an amount in the suit of her choice. She may play one or more cards as long as they're the same suit.

In the example above, the yellow player bid 10 diamonds.

Each player then takes turns counter-clockwise (like a racetrack) for an opportunity to bid a higher amount of the leader's chosen suit. If someone does establish a new high bid, then each player gets another opportunity to out-bid that high bid. This continues until no one wants to out-bid the highest bidder.

In the example above, the green player player declines the opportunity to out-bid the yellow player. The blue player bids a Jack of Diamonds (worth 11 diamonds), thus establishing a new high bid. The red player declines, the yellow player declines, the green player decides to bid this time, bidding a King of Diamonds, setting a new high bid. The blue player declines, the red player decides to drop a whammy of 15 Diamonds. The other players decline to outbid the red player.

The pawns are re-arranged according to bid. Whoever won the bid may move one of her pawns to the front of the line. The second-place bidder moves one of his pawns to second place. The third-place bidder moves a pawn to third place, and so on.

After each turn, each player draws one card from the deck. Thus, you could just suit out a couple turns in order to regain your energy before dropping a big bid. The dilemma is that the leader sets the suit for the auction, so the leader may not give you the opportunity to bid in the category in which you're strongest.

The player in first place earns 3pts, second place earns 2pts, and third place earns 1pt.

During the course of the race, there are randomized terrain and event cards that are revealed before each turn.

These cards award special bonuses or penalties to players in specific positions. For example, a RICKETY BRIDGE would harm whoever is in last place because all the other runners in front weakened it.

The SHARP TURN would harm the leader because it was an unexpected obstacle, but the straggling runners have plenty of time to dodge it.

The SWINGING PENDULUM would harm every evenly placed racer, so the second-place, fourth-place, sixth-place, etc.

The cards themselves are awarded to players who are further in back of the line, in fourth, fifth or even last place. These are worth points at the end of the game.

The game ends after the fifth turn. Each player tallies points earned from obstacle cards and from being in the top 3 positions during the game. Whoever ends the game with the most points wins!

Playtesters have suggested that the event/terrain cards could list the bids of each pawn (with an optional suit notation) so you could technically play solo. You'd just ignore whatever the card says is the bid for your pawn. You just have to beat the bids of the other AI racers. Thus, you could make this always a four-player game, it's just that some of them are AIs.

I need a theme in which the racers always stay in a tight formation, jockeying for incremental positions, facing random obstacles. Those obstacles would clearly be the main channel for whatever theme I choose, because the terrain of a bike race is much different than triathalon. There is also the question of suits and how they could be incorporated into the theme. Here are some of the themes people have chosen that strike my fancy.

  • Ostrich Racing: Each player is racing an ostrich across the savvanah, dodging obstacles along the way like mud pits, predators, and bad weather. The suits represent different terrains of the race course: Desert, Grass, Mud, Jungle?
  • Turtle Race: The racers stay in a tight formation because they're so slow! The obstacles are humorously minimal, like street curbs, small potholes, and discarded strawberries. Suits are Street, Lawn, Sidewalk, Water?
  • Grand Prix Monkey: A pack of monkeys are whizzing through the Amazon rain forest. Obstacles are mainly in the form of predators and tempting distractions. Suits are Ground (for running on the ground), Trees (for swinging through trees), Shortcuts (for cheeky monkeys) Poop (for throwing poop at opponents).
  • All-Terrain Pulp Race: Flying aces race around the world in amphibious flying machinese, dodging outlandish pulp-themed obstacles like mad scientists, exploding volcanoes, and giant apes. Suits represent different areas of the race: Sea, Air, Land, Space.
  • Kaiju Rally: This is a weird one. While I was thinking about the giant apes, I thought, "Why not make the giant monster the racer?" Obstacles would include defending mecha, armies, other monsters, etc. Like the pulp race, this could traverse sea, air, land and space too.

Right. So that's the general idea anyhow. As with many of my potentially self-published games these days, I'm mainly limited by my own ability to make or commission artwork. Aside from that limitation, I'm most amused by the Monkey and Turtle themes.
Daniel Solis
Art Director by Day. Game Designer by Night.


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New in 10.4.8: Zoom Using Scroll Wheel

Here’s a new feature in the Mac OS X 10.4.8 mouse preferences panel:1 “Zoom using scroll wheel”:

Screenshot of the “Mouse” tab of the 10.4.8 Keyboard & Mouse System Preferences panel.

[Update: The same feature is also available for trackpad users who have the “Use two fingers to scroll” option turned on.]

It’s on by default, with the “while holding” modifer key set to Control. The modifier picker is a combo box — the drop-down menu lets you choose between Control, Option, and Command, but when the combo box has focus, you can specify multiple modifier keys simply by pressing them on your keyboard. You can’t set it to only use Shift, but you can use Shift in conjunction with one or more of the other modifiers.

The Options button opens a sheet with a few additional preference settings. The first is a set of radio buttons to determine how the zoomed screen scrolls when you move your mouse; I find the default setting, “Continuously with the pointer”, works best.

The other option is a checkbox labeled “Smooth images (Press ⌘⌥\ to turn smoothing on or off)”. The name is a bit misleading — it doesn’t just smooth images, it smooths (a.k.a. anti-aliases) the entire screen. If you’re using this feature as I intend to, to examine pixel-level layout details, it’s best to leave this off.

Overall, the feature works great; having zoom available at a moment’s notice is a bit more convenient than firing up a utility like xScope or Art Directors Toolkit. If you zoom just a little bit and let go of the modifier key, it snaps back to no zoom — this seems like a sensible defense against accidental zooms.

My only gripe is the ⌘⌥\ (Command-Option-Backslash) shortcut attached to the smoothing option. If you turn the “Zoom using scroll wheel” option on, this keyboard shortcut is applied system-wide, even when you aren’t zooming. That’s a problem if you’re using any applications that use this keystroke — and since BBEdit2 and Mailsmith use this for the Hard Wrap command, and I’ve got about 10 years of muscle memory using this command with this shortcut every single day, it’s a problem for me.

Minor system updates shouldn’t just gobble up keyboard shortcuts like this. For one thing, I don’t see why this particular option is so important that it deserves a system-wide keyboard shortcut. Who’s going to be toggling this smoothing option so frequently that they need a keyboard shortcut?

And even if it really does deserve a system-wide shortcut, it ought to be configurable using the Keyboard Shortcuts tab in the Keyboard & Mouse prefs panel. Most of the other system-wide default keyboard shortcuts can be changed or just plain turned off in the Keyboard Shortcuts tab; but, alas, not this ⌘⌥\ zoom-smoothing shortcut.

If anyone knows of a good hack for changing or disabling this keyboard shortcut, please let me know.

[Update: The ⌘⌥\ shortcut has apparently been used for toggling zoom-smoothing since 10.2, when keyboard-based zooming was introduced (in the Universal Access panel in System Prefs); I never noticed because I never use the keyboard-based zooming feature, and it (the shortcut) has been off by default up until 10.4.8. But the point remains: most of the other Universal Access keyboard shortcuts are adjustable; this one should be, too.]

  1. Some readers report seeing this feature prior to 10.4.8; apparently it shipped with the drivers for the new Wireless Mighty Mouse, and perhaps also shipped in the version of 10.4.7 that shipped with some recent Macs. ↩

  2. And TextWrangler. ↩


text:
Apparently, IP-Protection Exists for Its Own Sake

This article's (Bobbie Johnson, Guardian) news astounds me.
It's no news to me that there are groups that have lobbied vigorously for intellectual monopoly (aka "IP")-protection and against free software.
But, it seems like one particular group based on the US has taken it farther than it has ever gone before.
It is recommending the inclusion of Indonesia on a list of countries to pressure to change IP-protection laws due to the mere encouragement of the use of open-source software.
The funniest (and saddest) part is that this group is supposed to be pro-free market and pro-competition.
This is exemplified in...open-source software. Companies like Red Hat and Canonical have developed new business models around open-source software.
The status quo (i.e. Microsoft) is antithetical to that.
The worst part of its recommendation is that it wants to force stricter IP-protection laws down Indonesia's throat for the sake of...stricter IP-protection. There appears to be no other reason for this - i.e. intellectual monopoly for its own sake.
The author of the article also points out that often, open-source licenses are stricter in ensuring that the license (to promote free use) and original authorship are retained in all derivative works; one could thus argue that a beneficial form of IP-protection (one that actually fosters further creation and use while maintaining attribution to the original author) is what is needed - not the draconian measures of laws like the DMCA.
I would have laughed out loud if I forgot that this was actually happening; I am sick to my stomach and proceed to vom - [bleccccccccch].

A Victory for Openness and Against Patents

This article (Bruce Perens, Datamation) gives a good analysis over the closing of a 5-year old court case involving open source software and patent infringements.
The good news is that the party accusing the open source developer of patent infringements has lost both patents in question and has paid the developer $100000, among other things.
Basically, a physicist named Bob Jacobsen who also develops software controlling model trains as a hobby (and released them under open licenses) was accused by Matthew Katzer, a seller of software for model trains, of patent infringement. The problem is that Jacobsen's license was meant to ensure that all software covered in the license would be released under a similar license, with which Katzer did not comply (the non-compliance came in the form of a patent application). Worse, Katzer extended his original 1998 patent to cover this open source code while keeping it under the 1998 date to make it look like Jacobsen was guilty of patent infringement. That shows the worst side of today's patent system and how it really doesn't promote innovation.
Despite numerous pressures (financial and otherwise) on Jacobsen, he persevered. The worst part was when Katzer essentially dismissed the open license (requiring use of the license for derivative works) as essentially public domain and thus patentable in a specific application. This basically threatened the basis of all works published under open licenses like the GPL. When it became clear that Jacobsen's Artistic 1.0 license was legally inadequate, ironically (though I don't approve of this part) the law that came to Jacobsen's rescue was...a law I have railed against multiple times...the DMCA.
What? The DMCA came to the rescue of an open developer?
Funny how the world works, huh?
Basically, the DMCA provided the requirement of retaining attribution and the original license on the work (Katzer was removing Jacobsen's name and license from the code).
Things went downhill for Katzer from there.
Ironically, despite the provisions of Jacobsen's license, as punishment, Katzer can no longer copy, modify, or distribute the model train code (though everyone else can). He can no longer take trademarks of Jacobsen's project. He must pay Jacobsen $100000 over 18 months or pressure people close to Jacobsen about this during this same time period. Both sides have agreed to not sue each other within these same 18 months.
Most importantly, however, unlike most court cases, this one is not sealed, meaning that all details of the case are open to public scrutiny. This is extraordinarily important, as people can now make sure that a similar drawn-out case does not happen again.
Congrats, Bob Jacobsen, and hooray to the open source community!

The ACTA, Not Counterfeiting, Terrifies Me

It comes from this (Cory Doctorow, BoingBoing) post.
Basically, the ACTA is forcing the DMCA down the throats of all other countries.
Some of you know that around 2002, a professor gave a lecture in Europe on cryptology and current technology and reverse-engineered a particular technology (protected in the US under the DMCA) in order to analyze its cryptological safety (or something like that). When he flew to the US, he was arrested for violating the DMCA, even though what he did was solely to promote learning for his cryptology students. Of course, he would not have been arrested in the country where he gave this lecture.
So what does the ACTA mean? It means that he could have been arrested anywhere had the ACTA been in place at that time. Even though the reverse-engineering was done purely for educational purposes, as reverse-engineering, it was against the law.
The incidence of these stupidly-made arrests will only go up in the future.
What's worse is that while the DMCA at least makes clear its intentions in its names, the ACTA conflates counterfeiting with copyright, patents, and reverse-engineering.
Counterfeiting is a serious problem; many people get sick and die every day from shoddy-quality counterfeit drugs being passed off as the real product.
Reverse-engineering? If the US, UK, and Poland had not reverse-engineered the German Enigma Machine, we may have lost WWII.

KDE 4.3 - A Second Look

This comes after I (unsuccessfully) tried to install the new KDE 4.4 on my computer. It seems that Ubuntu hasn't come with packages for versions earlier than 9.04 "Jaunty Jackalope"; the only packages are those available for 9.10 "Karmic Koala" and the (currently beta) 10.04 LTS "Lucid Lynx". I use Linux Mint 7 "Gloria" which is the equivalent of Ubuntu 9.04 "Jaunty Jackalope", so I found myself out of luck. It is my intention to upgrade this computer to Linux Mint 9 "Isadora" when that comes out; hopefully I will be able to get the new KDE packages then, as I am eager to try them out. Until then, I thought of taking another look at KDE 4.3 (which I had already installed and reviewed), as I thought some of my comments were a bit unfair. I found that KDE 4.3 redeemed the old problems (to an extent) while presenting new problems. I have been doing this for about a week.
First, I want to review and maybe show how KDE managed to rectify the old problems.
The biggest annoyance was the lack of integration of Mozilla Firefox, OpenOffice.org, and GTK+ applications. I have since learned that there is a theme for GTK+ applications called QtCurve to integrate them into KDE 4.X. I'm not going to do that as I want to have a native look in GNOME as well; it's a shame that KDE can't integrate GTK+ applications even close to as well as GNOME integrates Qt applications. I know a lot of distributions with KDE 4.X have this theme for included GTK+ applications, but as I also use GNOME, I won't be following this.
OpenOffice.org is a nightmare in this regard. As it turns out, the theme management for OpenOffice.org is near-dysfunctional; even in GNOME, I can't even change the theme to one of the included themes (forget installing a new one).
Firefox is a bit better. I installed the KFirefox theme which gives the menu a look combining the Windows Firefox back/forward buttons with the Konqueror look for the other menu buttons and the scrollbars. Sadly, the buttons in the webpages still look like they come from Windows 3.X. Oh well, at least it is a little better than before.
The Facebook Plasmoid still doesn't work. Oh well.
On a brighter note, Plasma has not crashed on me. KDE also seems notably more responsive and snappy (and quick to load) now. Maybe the latest update brought a serious shot in the arm for speed. That's good.
I managed to fix the problem of window labels in the Task Manager showing up across all virtual desktops, defeating the purpose of virtual desktops. There is an option in Task Manager to turn this off, so that in any given virtual desktop, the Task Manager will only show window labels from that virtual desktop. It's a good improvement, but I would like to see it like that by default in the future as in Linux Mint GNOME's default behavior (once the virtual desktop panel application is added to the panel).
I changed the main menu to the "Lancelot" menu, which is a slab menu similar to Linux Mint's MintMenu. I like it as I like all slab menus, but it has some quirks. Every time I unclick and reclick the menu, it resets to the default view rather than showing me the tab I was looking at before I unclicked the menu. It's a little annoying, but I can deal with it. I was hoping for a bit more customization of the menu as well in terms of determining what appears and what doesn't and in what order the icons go, but oh well.
I've changed the theme from the bland default "Air" to the more appealing (to me) "Oxygen". It looks a lot nicer now.
A new quirk I've found is that even though I've disabled these applications from startup, the applications Pidgin and Cairo Dock are still executed upon startup. I'm not really sure how to change this behavior now.
One thing I have done now that I didn't do before was to enable Activities. These basically enable me to keep Plasmoids (except for the panel but including the desktop background Plasmoid) on different desktops, greatly reducing the number of Plasmoids running at any one time. It's a neat feature, but I think only organizational freaks will find use in it.
I'm a little concerned that I can't really set default applications in KDE like I can in GNOME. It doesn't even give me the option of choosing Pidgin as my default IM client (it only gives Kopete as an option); the issue is similar with Firefox vs. Konqueror. Thankfully, OpenOffice.org is listed as an option for default applications.
Finally, I've found a quirk in Dolphin. For some reason, I can't permanently delete anything - I can only send it to the trash, which may not work if I'm deleting a particularly large file (like a Linux installation DVD ISO); it almost makes me want to use Nautilus again (and as I now know, in the newer versions of GNOME, Nautilus, like Dolphin, has split-pane viewing).
For all of these bright and dark spots, my opinion of KDE 4.3 is higher (but only by a little) than before. I'll probably be able to tolerate it a little longer than before - that is, before I get sick of it and decide to switch back to GNOME.
UPDATE: There are two things to update.
I got another weather Plasmoid. This one looks kind of nice, but still doesn't have a forecast.
More importantly, think of the devil... As I tried to use the "Lancelot" menu, it crashed. I guess it had to happen. Thankfully, that's the first time a crash has occurred since the start of this re-review.
UPDATE: Oops. Sorry I forgot this biggie.
For some reason even though KDE has a setting for power management, though I have set the computer to automatically suspend to RAM after 20 minutes of inactivity, this has never happened in KDE (though it faithfully happens in GNOME). I later did a manual suspend action and then resumed the session to find that suspending to RAM also logs the current user out of KDE. That explains a lot. It's a pretty big bug, though, as suspending to RAM can save a lot of power over leaving the computer on in full (even when inactive). A lot of people are used to this in Windows, and GNOME does it beautifully. KDE needs a lot of work in this regard.

Just Another Ordinary Opening Ceremony

(It's a play on "Just Another Ordinary Miracle", a song that was sung at this years XXI Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony.)
It was boring. Of course Beijing's organizers blew everyone out of the water with their ceremonies, but even judged on its own, the Vancouver ceremony literally made me fall asleep. Totally unimaginative and uninteresting.

Also, where was the Vatican delegation? I want to see the Pope as head coach of the slaloming archbishops and the curling cardinals!
I kid, I kid.

Finally, I want to dedicate this blog post to Nodar Kumaritashvili, the Georgian (in Eastern Europe, not in the southern US) luger who died during training the morning of the opening ceremony. He was 21. As you read this, please join me in observing a moment of silence in honor of him.
Thank you.

Movie Review: The Matrix

I know this is a popular slightly older movie, so I'm giving a different take on The Matrix.
I loved the action; I don't know why this was rated 'R'. I digress.
I think the most philosophically challenging part of the movie is when Neo enters the apartment of the Oracle (the first time) and sees the other "Potentials". One of the children manages to twist and bend a spoon through the mind-activity of thinking that the spoon doesn't exist; Neo replicates this. The scene raises a plethora of philosophical questions, aside from the obvious question about the spoon's actual existence.
Let's assume that the spoon doesn't exist.
If this is true and the "Potential" believes it is true, how does this relate to the spoon bending, and why should the "Potential" be able to perceive the spoon bend if s/he has blocked all perception of the spoon entirely?
If this is true, why should an outside observer see the spoon bend just by the "Potential's" intense belief in the spoon's nonexistence?
If this is true, and 2 "Potentials" believe it, why should they both perceive a bending spoon?
In short, what effect does a "Potential's" belief of an object's [non]existence have on its appearance to all others?

Movie Review: Young Frankenstein

This evening, I watched Young Frankenstein (or "Young Fronkensteen", if you will - more on that in a minute) with my family.
It was a great, funny movie. I like how the movie stayed generally true to the original movie plot (except for the ending, of course; in the original, the monster is killed, whereas this movie ends happily with the newly sophisticated monster marrying Elizabeth and Frankenstein with his newly enlarged reproductive organ marrying Inga) while putting in some (maybe not-so-) subtle running gags (like how Frankenstein, to distance himself from his mad scientist grandfather, prefers the pronunciation "Fronkensteen", or how whenever Frau Bluecher's name is said (wherever), the horses neigh).

However, something at the beginning of the movie concerned me. It has nothing at all to do with the actual plot or production of the movie; rather, it is related to the fact that this is a DVD. There is this almost frightening sequence at the beginning by the MPAA about how you wouldn't steal a car or a cell phone, so you also shouldn't illegally download a movie. While this of course means that downloading a movie is currently illegal, what is questionable is how morally wrong/repugnant downloading a movie is compared to stealing a car or a cell phone.
The point is, with all these new technologies involving acquiring professionally created content (e.g. music, books), the legal method has to be easier than the illegal method. With the freeing of music from DRM and other restrictions, illegal downloads of music on P2P networks have dropped precipitously while legitimate sales on sites like the iTunes store have shot up ever since; the reverse is still true (as it once was for restricted (e.g. DRMed) music) for restricted (e.g. DRMed) movies. The MPAA needs to learn now that something like the iTunes store, and not a set of draconian restrictions, is the business model of the age of the Internet.

2010 February 8: Rahm Emanuel and the Super Bowl

This is an update to the previous story on Rahm Emanuel's use of the word "retarded" to describe certain liberal groups.
He has since apologized and signed a pledge to end the use of this word. I applaud him for this, though he shouldn't have made the comment in the first place.
Also, Sarah Palin's outrage showed a rift in the conservative base. Many (though certainly not all) conservatives are opposed to being overly politically correct. Palin has made reference to this before as well. However, as this directly insulted her son, she felt the need to defend political correctness and in the process blast Rush Limbaugh for not supporting her. I'm not taking sides in this particular dispute; I just thought it's an interesting thing to see.

Also, the New Orleans Saints won Super Bowl XLIV! New Orleans really needed this one.

On Political Correctness and Retard[suffix]

I've wanted to talk about this for a while, but this (Brent Dykes, Yahoo! News) provides a good starting point. It's about how Obama Administration Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel called liberal lobbies planning to air attack advertisements on conservative Democrats opposing the health care plan "[expletive] retarded".
I do not at all condone this. He should have attacked the plan on its merits rather than mindlessly foulmouthing it. I also think it would be best if he sincerely apologized for this, though knowing him, it probably won't happen.
Sarah Palin, who has a son with Down Syndrome, has responded by calling for his resignation/firing, saying that this will affect her son and other similarly affected people the same way African Americans would be affected by someone using the 'n'-word to insult them. While I don't agree with this extreme reaction, I think it is entirely reasonable to condemn him as she did.
That said, I wanted to use this opportunity to bring up something bigger about the word "retard"/"retarded" and political correctness.
I don't think it is at all right to use "retard"/"retarded" as an insult against mentally handicapped people. In our schools, we are taught to use words like "mentally handicapped", "mentally disabled", or "mentally challenged", among other words; "retard"/"retarded" aren't even part of this vocabulary (i.e. they are completely ignored altogether). Hence, I have never once met someone who used the word "retard"/"retarded" to [insultingly] refer to a mentally disabled person. This probably isn't true in other parts of the country, but from my own experiences, the word "retard"/"retarded" has solely taken on the meaning of a synonym for "idiot"/"imbecile".
That is probably what Emanuel meant; I still don't support him on this, because as it is, it is a pretty vicious insult to use against someone else.