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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Yeah, I'm kind of a spazz

I dropped my keys tonight. Behind the refrigerator. I know, right? I don't know how I did it either. My poor husband is the most patient man alive. I'm convinced he lost a bet and that's why he's married to me.

30 things

I turned 30 this month. That's right. I'm a geezer now. I was actually excited about it. When you have a heart that doesn't beat the way it's supposed to 80% of the time, birthdays are a big deal.

Thing is, 30 has not been kind to me so far. We got in a fender bender. Someone ran over our mailbox (again). I found out that the reason I've been so depressed lately, had unbelievable insomnia and the reason that my hair is falling out is because my thyroid medication is off by 35 mcg, and we're having insurance troubles as far as getting them to give me my new dosage. M and I have had a stomach virus for the past week, and so on so forth. It's nothing really big, but just a bunch of little annoyances that tend to wear you down, you know? So I decided today that I am going to write out 30 things that I've loved since I turned 30. 30 things. Here goes:

1. I love that LOST came back on. I will miss it when it's gone after this season.

2. I love the Olympics. I'm not usually a sports person, but I will watch the Olympics with fervor. Any and all events from cross country skiing to curling to hockey. I love it. And, as Morgan Freeman is reminding me RIGHT NOW, I could use my Visa card this month and win a trip to the Olympics for the rest of my life. Awesome.

3. I made a new friend and I love her. She has three beautiful children. We have a playdate every Monday morning now. Tomorrow it is at her house and I'm surprising her with asiago bagels from Panera, her favorite.

4. I love that this week on The Office Jim and Pam are having their baby.

5. I love that Hubs took my birthday off from work and brought me flowers, kept M for the day so I could go shopping without a stroller and a diaper bag, then took me to dinner at PF Changs aka the best restaurant on the face of the planet.

7. I love that one of the first kids I taught in preschool at church got to stand up in front of the church today and talk about the change he's making in his classroom, his school, and his community. I thought my heart would burst.

8. I love the new clothes I've made for M's princess dolls, and that I have a good sewing machine so I can make things for her.

9. I love that I have a hubs who's willing to dance around in the living room with a tutu on his head just to make his daughter laugh.

10. I love that my friend who has been trying to have a baby for MONTHS is finally pregnant and I can be excited with her.

11. I love that Hubs fills my car with gas for me so I don't have to.

12. I love that M wanted to buy the people at the library stickers, because they're always giving stickers to her.

13. I love that Hubs got me a cast iron skillet for my birthday, and I love cooking him dinner in it.

14. I love that I can fit back into my "college jeans."

15. I love playing snowball fight on WiiFit plus (another birthday present).

16. I love that my mother-in-law got me three awesome scrabble tile necklaces from etsy for my birthday.

17. I love that M tells me that I'm "still the prettiest." I guess she means even though I'm old. That's what I'm going to tell myself.

18. I love that Hubs and I still sit under his grandmother's faded quilt on the couch, drinking hot cocoa, and watching Office reruns together.

19. I love that he tries to sit up with me when I have insomnia, even though I eventually nag him into going to bed.

20. I love that my friend told me that Mr. Clean magic erasers will clean soap scum out of the tub. Werd.

21. I love that even though it's still bitterly cold here the sun has been shining for the last few days.

22. I love the little chipmunk who has taken up residence in our flowerbed.

23. I love that I have a daughter who apologizes to people when she steps on their feet by accident.

24. I love that Hubs bought a new trash can for the kitchen without my asking. I hadn't even told him yet that the latch on the old one was broken.

25. I love the fact that Glee is coming back on soon.

26. I love that my new friend gave me her recipe for Honey Wheat bread, and that it's baking now and making my house smell good.

27. I love that M gave me the nickname "Big Bird" and Hubs got stuck with "Snuffleupagus."

28. I love that my birthday was on the 8th, but my birthday balloon still has air in it.

29. I love that Hubs is letting me get a new couch. Our current one is falling apart.

30. I love that I have a blog where I can put my thoughts out there, even if there aren't many people reading them. I thank the ones who do read them. :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

LOST recap

Recaps are of everyone landing in LA, and the loss of Christian. Temple, blah blah.

Fake Reality: Pictures of Jack and Christian, Jack shirtless - meh. He notices his scar, the one he got from the plane crash? and seems confused. Jack's mom calls asking about Christian's body. Jack promises to come over and help her. Oh, turns out it's an appendix scar, but he doesn't really remember having his appendix out. Jack goes to a school and picks up HIS SON, DAVID!

Back on the island Jack is standing at the temple, staring at the creek when Dogan or whatever his name is comes up and tells him he can't leave the temple. Dogan asks if Kate's coming back. Jack says no and Dogan cries. Actually, he doesn't. I like him. Miles and Hurley are play giant tic-tac-toe. Hurley gets the munchies and goes to the hot tub and ask a random guy where the kitchen is. Random guy is Jacob. Jacob needs his help. He wants Hurley to help someone find the island.

David is an angsty little devil. It's probably because he's embarrassed because his dad cries all.the.time. David doesn't want to talk to his dad. He just wants to do his thing. He starts eating some Milano cookies, which rock, while Jack talks to his mom on the phone again. Jack is not loving the rift between him and his son.

Jack and Sayid are lounging by the creek. Sayid asks why everyone is staring at him and Jack says, "Because you're hotter than me." and Sayid says, "You betcha." Jack tells Sayid that the temple people want to kill him.

Rambo Claire stomps down the ridge and she's pissed. She removes Jin's very bloody foot from the trap. Claire says she's been here for the past 3 years. She tells Jin to get up and walk on his bloody leg and stop being a pansy. He faints.

Hurley has Jacobs message written on his arm and is walking through the temple looking at hieroglyphics. Dogan yells at him. Hurley tells Dogan he's a "big fan of temples." LOL! Jacob tells Hurley to say he's a candidate and he can do what he wants. Then he suggests that Dogan go back to the courtyard. Hurley's pissed because Jacob made him lie to a samurai. Jacob's pissed because Hurley didn't bring Jack. Hurley goes out to get Jack. Jack won't go with him, but Hurley says to tell him that Jack "has what it takes." Jack says to take him to Jacob now. He may have said stat. He is a doctor.

Jin wakes up in Claire's shanty. She really is Danielle. She's a crazy jungle cat lady and she has a cradle with an "arts and craft hour" Martha Stewart baby in it. She kidnapped the nice temple guard and ties him up to question him about Aaron. She goes to get some stuff to clean Jin's leg. Nice guard tells Jin that Claire will kill them both. Jin's not buying it.

Hurley and Jack are out in the jungle. Jack sees a backpack on a rock and then sees Kate getting water out of the creek. Kate tries to shoot him, then realizes that Jacks a man and she decides to flirt with him instead. Kate tells of her plan to find Claire and Jack tells her that something's wrong with Claire. Kate runs off into the jungle.

Fake reality: Jack and pessimist mom are looking for Christian's will. She pours herself a stiff drink. She looks very face-lifty. Jack is apparently not a heavy drinker in this life. Good for him. Mama Shepherd finds the will and reads it. He finds out about Claire from the will.

Out at the fire, Claire is preparing to chop off Jin's foot, it seems. Baldguard is trying to convince him to untie him. She apologizes about her trap. She starts stitching Jin up and I puke a little. She talks about the hard knock life of living in a jungle while they party in a temple with a hot tub and giant tic-tac-toe all day. She says she's spoken to her father and her friend. She asks if Jin is still her friend. She finishes stitching him up and it's G-R-O-S-S. She gets her axe and turns to question Mr. Clean.

Hurley and Jack are still trekking through the forest. Hurley asks why Jack isn't giving in to Kate's wiles. Jack steps on Shannon's inhaler and they realize they're at the caves. Hurley is being philosophical about the skeletons. Jack is having a Hallmark moment and doesn't listen to Hurley, then admits that he was chasing the ghost of his dead father when he found the caves.

Fakereality: Jack's back and brought David some pizza, but David is AWOL. Jack is angry. He calls David's cell and begs him to call back. He goes to David's mother's house to see if David's there. He's not in his room. Jack snoops around and realizes that David's into classical music and cheesy pictures of Jack. There's a message on his machine and it's some lady telling David that he has a slot that night at 7:00. Jack hears his own message and gets all teary (shocker), then jots down the info from the first call and jets.

Hurley asks Jack why he came back to the island. Jack asks him why he came back and Hurley tells him about Jacob approaching him in the cab. Jack laughs and then explains that he came back because he was broken and stupid enough to think the island could fix him. They keep walking. They find a big freaking Rapunzel lighthouse. Jack asks the obvious "WHY IN THE HADES HAVEN'T WE SEEN THIS BEFORE?" Hurley says because they weren't looking for it.

Claire's still interrogating Mr. Clean. They did the test on Claire in the temple. Claire's going to hack him up but Jin stops her and tells her that Kate took Aaron. Mr Clean promises to keep his mouth shut if she'll just let hi go. She cries and then kills him because she's a hard core jungle lady now. Man! She hacked him right in the pancreas!

At the lighthouse Hurley reveals that they have to turn on the lighthouse. Jack kicks open the door. Who needs a samurai?

Fakereality: Jack arrives at David's piano audition. David is tearing it up on the piano. Jack is awe, as am I . Boy can play. Another Hallmark moment for Jack. I think he's cried more in this episode than he has in the entire series. David looks pissed at himself and bows. A little boy tells Jack that David is really good. The little boy's dad is Dogan! I'm starting to love fakereality. Dogan's got a pretty ponytail and he is interested in David's gift. Jack admits that he doesn't know how long David's been playing piano.

Hurley and Jack reach the top of the lighthouse. Jack asks where Jacob is and Hurley says he's not here yet. He starts to light up the lighthouse by twisting it around to 108 degrees. Jack sees all kinds of buildings reflected in the mirror. Jack is freaking out. Did he eat some rotten berries or something? All of their names are on the light house along with their numbers. Jack freaks and puts the mirror on his name. He sees the reflection of his family home. Jack's having a major freak out. Jack wants Hurley to summon Jacob and tell him why Jacob's been watching them. Jack freaks and breaks the lighthouse because he's and IDIOT with PMS.

Fakereality: David is leaving the concert. He's unlocking his bike and Jack sneaks up on him to tell him he was awesome, because he was. He tells David that he scared him. David said he made his mom promise not to tell him that he was still playing because he was suffocating. David says he didn't tell Jack where he was going because he didn't want Jack to see him fail. Jack and David bond over bad parenting.

Jack is staring at the ocean and wondering about his 28 years of bad luck. Jacob shows up. Hurley yells at him that Jack broke his lighthouse. Jacob tells him that he has ink on his forehead. Jacob explains that he wanted Jack to see what was in the mirror. Jacob tells Hurley that seeing his family home in the mirror would help him find himself. Jacob says that Jack needs to stare at the ocean for awhile. Jacob says that he did it to get the away from the temple because DarthLocke is about the storm the stronghold. He did it to save them.

Claire asks Jin about Kate and Aaron. Jin says he was lying to save Mr. Clean's life. He tells Claire that Aaron is at the temple and she has to take him there. He offers to take her through the secret passage. Claire said that if Kate was raising Aaron then she'd kill her, because she's such a hussy. DarthLocke strolls up to the shanty and Claire introduces him as "her friend."

Voiceover guy promises questions will be answered next week. Sweet. Theories in the comments, people.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

LOST recap

After the recaps we’re taken to Pleasantville where Locke squared lives in fake reality. For a second I thought he was going to fall out of his van. Wait, I was right. Man. I feel so bad for crippled Locke everytime I see him. When it rains it pours, huh, Locke? Literally. Locke squared is still with Peggy Bundy in fake reality. Sweet! Ew! Locke in a bathtub. NOOOOOOOOO! MY EYEEEEEEEEEEEES! Someone please pass the brain bleach.

Locke lied and told Peggy he was at a conference and not getting rejected from a walkabout. Peggy encourages him to call Jack.

Now we’re seeing the island through the eyes of the smoke monster and it’s CREEPTASTIC! Sawyer is raging to rock music and destroying crap in his and Juliet’s house. Smokey turns back into Darth Locke and finds a machete in the woods. He cuts Richard down from a tree and my Richard is all beat up. I died a little inside. I hate hate hate hate hate Darth Locke. He tells Richard it’s “time to talk.”

Locke squared works in a cube and looks unhappy about it. “Randy” is here and he’s a cocky doo-doo head. I can already tell. He needs to wash his hair, too. There is not an oil shortage in the world. Randy has plenty in his hair. Randy fires him. It seems that Locke has been lying to everyone.

Darth Locke gave Richard some water. He says he wants Richard to come with him. Richard is confused and bloody and I don’t like it. Darth Locke is trying to sweet talk Richard. He promises to tell Richard everything and Richard says no, because he is the awesome. Darth Locke sees a bloody kid in the woods and freaks out. Richard’s all “Freak. Hit the bricks.” Darth Locke says he’ll be seeing Richard and sooner than he thinks.

Illana is crying in the temple and Ben asks what’s wrong. Ben explains that Darth Locke turned into a smoke monster and killed Illana’s friends and that DarthLocke kicked Jacob into the fire. She immediately goes and gathers Jacob’s ashes. Ben asks why DarthLocke took Richard away. Illana says that he’s “recruiting.”

Back to Sawyer’s rage party. Darth Locke is all “Daaaaaang” when he walks in and sees the turned over furniture. He also smirks at the record player cause that’s so 1980. He finds Sawyer hitting the hard stuff in the bedroom floor. Sawyer glares at him because that’s what Sawyer does best.

Sawyer’s pouring another drink because he obvs needs it. Oh, he poured one for Locke. How sweet. He’s sitting around in his underwear. How sweet. Sawyer seems to enjoy that Locke is dead. He’s just glad to have a friend who’s not hitting on him. Sawyer calls him out as an imposter. He seems to be a smart drunk. DarthLocke tries to be profound and Sawyer laughs in his face. Locke offers to prove why Sawyer’s on the island and Sawyer says they can’t leave until he puts his pants on. Darth Locke always ruins everyone's fun.

Locke squared is mad because some idiot parked too close to his car. That idiot is Hurley. Hurley breaks the news that he owns the company. Hurley calls Randy a huge douche and Hubs and I laugh uproariously. Hurley gives him the number of the temp agency he owns. I like this confident Hurley.

A crab crawls off of DeadLocke’s head and I throw up in my mouth a little. Illana is leading everyone to the temple. Sun questions her, but Illana dangles the prospect of seeing Jin in front of her. Sun wants to bury Locke and everyone is like, “Seriously? It’s 900 degrees out here, Sun.” Darth Locke sees boy in the woods and Sawyer sees him, too. DarthLocke chases the kid down but trips and falls. The kid warns Locke that he knows the rules and he can’t kill “him” (Sawyer, I guess). The kid (is that regenerated Jacob???) walks off with DarthLocke shouting “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” That was one of OriginalLocke’s mantras.

Sawyer’s wandering through the jungle, shouting for Locke. He’s pissed that he put on pants for this. Richard stumbles out of the woods and tries to take Sawyer to the temple. Richard tells Sawyer that DarthLocke wants to kill everybody. Darth comes back and Richard runs away. Run in a zigzag, Richard! If you’re a nerd and were bullied in school you totally understood that instruction. Sawyer asks about the kid and DarthLocke plays dumb.

A woman is being all weird with Locke at the temp agency. He asks to speak to her supervisor and she’s visibly angry. ROSE is the supervisor! I lurve her. Rose lays down the law with him, because she’s also the awesome. Rose still has terminal cancer, which is sad. She encourages Locke to live whatever life he’s got left and says she’s going to help him find a job he can do.

Sawyer tells DarthLocke that he loves Of Mice and Men. I do, too! Darth Locke says that book was after his time. Sawyer pulls a gun on Darth Locke. Locke tells him to shoot. Sawyer asks what he is and Darth Locke says he’s trapped and he doesn’t even remember what it feels like to be free. Darth says he remembers what it’s like to feel. Locke offers him the chance to turn back, but Sawyer doesn’t take it.

Ben is questioning Illana. She says that Darth Locke is stuck in Locke’s body. They come to the graveyard. Why wasn’t Lepedis helping to carry Locke instead of making Illana do it? Jerk. Illana asks if anyone can say anything and Ben offers. He calls Locke a believer, a man of faith, and a better man than he will ever be. Aww. Ben’s redemption. He apologizes for murdering Locke. Lepedis declares it the weirdest funeral he’s ever been to.

Locke square gets up in the morning and looks depressed. He pulls out Jack’s card and gives Jack a call. He chickens out and hangs up. He tells Peggy/Helen that he’s not going. Lost luggage guy drops off Locke’s lost suitcase. Helen asks how he got fired and he tells her the truth. He tells her to open his suitcase. She does and finds…all of Locke’s knives. He tells her he was going to go on a walkabout and that he was rejected. He realizes they were right. He said that he’s resigned to stay in his chair. She tears up Jack’s card and they kiss.

Sawyer and Darth Locke come to the edge of the island. Darth Locke says they have to go down the cliff and Sawyer tells him that he has to go first. Then he realizes that there’s a ladder. A rickety old ladder that leads to a rope ladder. The ladder breaks while Sawyer’s on it and Darth Locke saves him. They are surprised that the 1000 year old ladder broke. They find themselves in an awkward man hug on a tiny ladder. They finally make it down to a cave that’s got scales in it. There are rocks on the scale. One is white and one is black. Darth Locke picked up the white rock and threw it outside. Darth lights a torch and they dive into the cave. Locke takes him in the cave, points at the ceiling and says that’s why you’re here. Names, all over the ceiling. Many are scratched out, but recognizable ones (Ford, Reyes, Jarrah). Sawyer’s in shock. I am too. It’s rude to carve things into cave walls. The parks department will tear you up for that.

Kate is doing hair commercials. No thanks. I don’t want harlot hair. Bleeeeeech.

My friend keeps calling and calling me. She knows I don’t answer the phone during LOST. Especially the last 10 minutes. I shut the ringer off. She won’t leave a message. She’s doing it on purpose. She’s so off the Christmas card list. Update - my friend found out she is pregnant! I'll forgive her this time.

Locke squared is a basketball coach. Cute!! He’s also a teacher. I love it! He’s teaching sex-ed! Ben is working at the school! I’m in amazement right now. It looks like Locke squared and Ben squared are going to be besties.

Darth Locke confirms that Jacob wrote all the names and he confirms that he’s happy about it. Flashbacks to Jacob touching everyone whose names are not crossed out. Each of them has been assigned a number from the numbers! Locke is 4, Hurley is 8, Sawyer is 15, what were the other numbers? Was Jack 42? Anyway, Locke tells Sawyer that Jacob met him and that Jacob pushed him to the island. And Locke tells sawyer that he’s a candidate to take over being protector of the island. Locke tells him he can do 1) Nothing, 2)Accept the Job and become the new Jacob. Sawyer asks what the island needs protecting from and Darth Locke says nothing. 3) leave. Sawyer seems to be leaning toward leaving.

Previews: nothing significant except : THE TIME FOR QUESTIONS IS OVER. Amen, Voiceover guy. I LOVED this episode so much more than the last two. It was fantastic.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

LOST recap

So I turned on my TV at 8 to watch LOST, only to find out it was just the pop-up video edition of last week's episode. Free hour!

Recapping now. Sawyer is going Inigo Montoya on Jack, the Woodstock gang has drowned Sayid, the pirate is angry about it, and Sayid woke up with a wicked hangover.

Hippie does not wear shoes in the temple of doom. Pirate is pleased that Sayid has awakened. Jack sends Miles out for some water. Ummm...isn't there a big vat of healing water right there in the temple? Sawyer is in one of his usual sunshine-y moods. He wants to leave the temple.

Fakereality Kate squared is running again and Claire squared is in the car, still pregnant. Arzt had a massive luggage wreck in the crosswalk. Kate and Jack have a deja-vu moment, then Kate tells the guy to go and he runs over Arzt's suitcase. Poor Arzt never gets a break. The cabbie makes a break for it. Kate steals Claire's purse and kicks her out of the car

Back in island time Sayid is questioning everyone about what's going on. Jack examines Sayid's wound to find that it's almost completely closed. Sayid thanks Jack, but Jack doesn't have time to tell him that he didn't do it because happy pirate wants to ask Sayid some questions. Happy pirate realizes that Jack is smarter than....oh...a person with a massive brain injury, and that Jack knows they're all lying to him. Sawyer comes to the rescue with a hidden gun. Pirate finally speaks English, telling Sawyer that he has to stay. Sawyer says, "No one tells me what to do. Especially a sad-faced Sinbad extra (Sinbad the movie, not the comedian)." Sawyer waves his gun around, sweats alot, and runs out of the temple.

Hippie extra asks where Sawyer went. Kate, of course, offers to go after Sayid. She's pissed when Jin offers to go along, too. That's totally going to kill her mojo, having Jin there. Pirate asks how Kate will get him back and Kate says, "I'll seduce him with my body, of course." Or something like that. I spaced out for a minute thinking about how everyone on this show looks like they reek of B.O.

Fake reality, Kate puts her gun in a mechanic's face and tells him to give her a tool to cut off her cuffs. He ain't taking none of her crap and pretends to be her friend and stuff. She trusts him immediately, of course. Kate realizes that she totally victimized a pregnant girl and feels like a doody head. Rightly so. Loser.

Pirate has Sayid strapped to a table and blows ash all over him. Freaky. Now he's hooking Sayid up to a torture device. Man, this guy is just a big ole ray of sunshine, isn't he? He fries Sayid, literally. There's a frying sound and spit flies out of Sayid's mouth. Very realistic. Can I just say DANG. Sayid has lots of chest hair. It's like he was wearing a sweater under that tank top. OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! He just branded him with a fire poker. Bonnaroo told Sayid that it was a test and he passed. After Sayid leaves, they reveal that Sayid in fact, failed the test of being electrocuted and then burned. How do you pass a test like that?

Olive Garden's Pansiotti's look delish. I want to go to there.

Fake reality Kate goes back to find Claire and gives her her things back. She offers Claire a ride and Claire gets in the car with her because she's SMRT. Seriously.

Back in the jungle. Woodstock extra 1 tells Kate that they are protecting them from the smoke monster. He calls Kate princess and I guffaw. Woodstock extra 1 keeps telling Woodstock extra 2 to SHUT UP. He's pretty mean. Kate knocks them both out and Jin is really confused. I'm starting to think that Jin's script doesn't have any words on it, just this emoticon D: She says they're escaping. Sayid stumbles out of the back room and relaxes by the hot tub. He tells Jack and gang that he was tortured. Jack tells the guards to step aside and they do. He goes into pirates room and pirate is playing in his Zen garden. They tell Jack that Sayid is sick, infected. Pirate finds this hilarious. He rolls a homemade cigarette. No, wait, it's a GIANT pill to cure Sayid's infection. Sayid has to take the pill willingly, so they're asking Jack to do it. Pirate speaks English again. He asks how Sayid got shot, and Jack says it was his fault. Pirate sends Jack on major guilt trip. He tells Jack that now is his chance to redeem himself and Jack is crying again. Pirate says if Jack doesn't get Sayid to take the pill then the infection will spread. Hmmm...curious. Will the infection spread in Sayid's body, or spread to other people?

I can't wait to see Alice in Wonderland.

We're back and Hurley asks Sayid if he's a zombie. Sayid says no and Jack ambles up and asks the other peeps to leave. Miles says they'll be in the food court. Miles! Bringing the lolz! Sayid looks sweaty. Sweaty and mad. I'm starting to think this is not a temple, just an ancient sweat lodge. Jack unwraps herb pill. Sayid does look kinda sinister right now. Sayid says he will take the pill if Jack tells him to. Jack is torn. Back in the jungle Kate is stomping around like a buffalo. Yeah, she's great at tracking. Jin asks Kate to tell him where the plane crashed and she stonewalled him. What a witch. Jin makes this face again D:

Claire and Kate are having a pleasant conversation in the cab. Claire is insecure, as usual. They pull up to a really nice house. Claire asks her to come inside and Kate agrees. Starting to wonder if Kate plans on ditching the cab. It would be the smart thing to do since the cabbie escaped a long time ago and has probably already notified the police. Claire finds out that the husband in the adoption situation ditched his wife (jerk), and she kicks her out. Claire goes into labor on the front step. Because that's how it happens. You just all of the sudden feel the baby crowning. Labor isn't a long thing at all, especially for a first baby. That's it, TV. Keep perpetuating the myth.

Island time, Saywer is destroying his and Juliet's house. He rips up the floorboards and finds an old shoebox. Inside is a something that he grips in his hand and starts crying. Kate realizes that Sawyer actually cared about Juliet and tries to leave. Sawyer hears her and threatens to shoot her. I wish he would.

Fakereality Kate is in the delivery room with Claire and Kate goes to get a doctor and it's Ethan! Dr. Goodspeed. He seems nice when he's not being a CreepyMcCreepster kidnapper/doctor on the island. The baby's heart rate monitor flatlines. There it is. My baby! Hubs yelled the dingo baby line before I did. Crap! I'm rusty! Claire just called the baby Aaron. It took her forever to pick that name on the island. Kate and Claire are holding hands now. Will Kate start batting for the other team? What will the 9 million men on the island do without her?

On the island Kate tells Sawyer that she needs to find Claire. She asks Saywer to help her find Claire. He's just wanting to cry alone on a dock and she won't just leave him alone. She tries to take blame for Juliet's death. Sawyer tells her that it's his fault. I want to hug his whiskery face and tell him it's okay. Awww...the thing he got out of the box was an engagement ring. He was going to ask Juliet to marry him. That's so sad. He tells Kate she's on her own and she breaks down and cries because she's selfish that way. He DOESN'T WANT YOU, HUSSY!

Pirate is playing with a baseball and he and Jack share a smile. They start talking island politics. Togan? Tobin? What did he say? Togan/Tobin (who I think came over on the black rock) says he was brought here just like everyone else and calls Jack on not giving Sayid the pill. Jack wants to know what's in the pill and Togan/Tobin says he'll have to trust him. Jack says no dice and tries to swallow the pill. Togan/Tobin attacks him and hits and kicks him till he spits out the pill. It was hilar. Togan/Tobin admits that the pill was just a poison capsule.

Claire is staring at an ultrasound photo. Love those pictures of the baby. A detective and police officer comes in looking for Kate. Claire lies for her and they leave. Claire thanks Kate and gives her the credit card. Kate tells her to keep her baby.

Kate is sitting by a water spout, just wasting all the clean water. Sawyer stalks by and doesn't even glance at her. Burn! She grabs her stuff and heads out.

Togan/Tobin pours Jack some tea and Bonnaroo is amazed that Jack tried to swallow the pill. Togan/Tobin drinks first, so Jack trusts the tea. Jack asks why they want to kill Sayid and Togan/Tobin says he has been "claimed" by a darkness. Jack asks how he can be sure and Togan/Tobin drops the bomb that it happened to....Jack's sister! So Claire is now a dark lord. Jin's trying to get a drink and he gets attacked by the hothead and his reasonable friend. They argue and Jin tries to run and lands right in a bear trap. Hothead friend tries to shoot Jin but...Claire saves him. Jin looks at her and says her name and she looks all confused and befuddled. Like maybe she remembers him, and is fighting the darkness. Or maybe she's just wondering who he is and how he knows her name. Or maybe she's wondering when he learned English.

Previews: DarthLocke comes after Sawyer. That's about all I got out of that.

Okay, I'm a little peeved about a couple of things. 1) They are not answering questions fast enough for my taste. There are limited episodes left and we don't know ANYTHING. They have to start answering some questions. 2) There was a serious Desmond deficit in this episode. I can't love Jack because he cries more than me and Sawyer, well, it's just not appropriate to like Sawyer at the moment. Bring back Des!

Leave thoughts and theories in the comments!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Finally! Hubs fixed my computer! I love him so....

Recaps recaps BOOOORING. Okay, the show's on. Everybody shut up (I really did say that out loud). And I think they may be showing the pilotepisode again by accident. Jack is boozing it up as usual. Rose is being awesome, as usual. Only they didn't crash. Whaaaa-aaat? Rose and Bernard are so cute. Now it's Jack's turn to pee at 5 miles high. Jack's neck is bleeding. That or he either has a massive hickey on his neck. Des is here?! What? What the heck is going on?? I'm so confused and it's only been 2 minutes. I don't care much thought because Des is looking hawt in that suit. Ooooh! The island's not there for them to crash on! Now we're under the ocean. Disney Finding Nemo effects! That CGI was horrible. Seriously. I know it's network TV, but I probably could have done better with Paint. The island is under the ocean. What the heck. My brain just exploded. Seriously. The mossy foot put me over the edge.

Now they're re-showing the whole bomb thing. Maybe this will tell us what happened. White light, and Kate's eyeball. Kate is dirty and greasy and in a tree. There is a loud buzzing. I keep telling DH it's on the show, but he's adjusting the volume on the TV anyway. She's apparently deaf, I guess from the explosion, and she's apparently a monkey now. She's still in the jungle, but how if the jungle is under water? I feel like the producers of this show are just laughing somewhere and giving us all the middle finger. There's Miles! This makes no sense. They've apparently been blown back to after Desmond turned the failsafe key. There's alternate reality Jack and man, his face looks like a package of ground beef. This is reminding me of Back to the Future. Now we have to make sure future Jack doesn't see past Jack or it will cause a rift in the space time continuum. Man, Sawyer is pissed! And Jack is crying again.

Back to confusing plane ride. Everybody's there! It's so good to see Arzt again! Not in a million pieces, of course, but in one big piece. Sawyer is good looking all the time. And apparently in our alternate reality Hugo is now the luckiest man alive.

Juliet's alive under all that crap?! Man, I thought we were done with at least one of the smirk faces. Poor Hurley. He's not good with blood. It looks like Sayid's not going to make it. That makes me sad. Oh no, someone's creeping through the bushes. I really hope it's Vincent. EVEN BETTER! It's Jacob! Hooray! We're all saved. I bet you money he won't tell us what's going on, though. His shirt's not even bloody. He's got some good stain remover. He probably uses Spray-n-Wash with Resolve cleaning power like I do (product placement). It's the bomb. You can tell I'm old because I still use the phrase "It's the bomb." I hope he doesn't take Sayid away to his temple and "steal his innocence" like he did to Ben. Ew.

We are back in Otherworld. That's what I'll call this reality from now on. Jin squared is back on the plane. Man, he's a prude! There's Locke. Crazy as he may be I love him. BOOONE!!!! I really do love him! He's so pretty. Boone and Locke are being BFFs. Shannon stayed in Australia. I don't like this reality. Instead of Otherworld I will call it fakereality because I think in the end it's not going to matter. I don't really care what would have happened if there wasn't an island because I've invested five years of my life in the island world.

Jacob's body is gone. Ben looks a little shell shocked. Awww. I want to hug him. I don't think he likes being Nemesis' little stooge. There's our Gap model! YES! Richard's going to unload on Ben. Ok, if Ben hadn't pooped his pants yet, he definitely did it when he saw the real Locke dead in the grass.

Everyone has forsaken Sayid dying in the jungle to dig out Juliet. Sawyer just sent Jin back to the van to get chains so they could lower Sawyer down in the hole. Jin used a long vine to climb out of the crater. Ummm...why not use the super long vine to get down in the hole? Jacob is worried about Sayid. And he admits that he's dead. He tells Hurley to bring Sayid to the Temple of Doom in order to save him. He also tells Hurley to bring his guitar because everybody loves a sing-along. This is good. Hurley can see dead people so Jacob can still offer guidance.

There's Charlie squared, dead in the airplane bathroom. Poor Charlie's dead in every reality he's a part of.

A DeBeer's diamond commercial came on and I thought the show was back on. That's some suspensful music for a diamond commercial. Werd.

Sayid is assisting Jack in saving Charlie. Jack is digging in Charlie's mouth. He found Charlie's stash. Charlie, your larynx isn't a good place to hide your drugs, for future reference.

I don't think little VW van is meant to pull huge steel beams out of the way. As someone who worked on a disaster relief team at one time, I can tell you that Sawyer should not have climbed down in there without a lead tied to him. DUMB. And Juliet's still with us. She is very bloody and very sad. I'm ok with her being alive right now. She is making Sawyer be a papa bear right now and I love it. Hurley put Jack in his place (ie, NOT IN CHARGE ANYMORE), and I liked it. Ben is in a catatonic state. Illana and her crew have had it up to here with Ben's garbage. They're storming the fortress. DarthLocke dismisses Jacob's body guards. They shoot him and Darth Locke vanishes (You do realize there are THREE Locke's now. I will refer to them as DarthLocke, Deadlocke, and Locke squared).

Smokey's here! Smokey can't cross the ash. That same ash was the ash around Jacob's cabin in the jungle. So the ash is protective. Interesting. Is it a special kind of ash, or will any ash, do? Can I make my own ash to protect myself from smoke monsters? These are the questions I want answered. Darth Locke just admitted he's the smoke monster. Crazy stuff. So nemesis definitely needs a body, (a dead one) to inhabit. It was probably like Christmas for him when Christian's coffin fell out of the sky.

Back to Sawyer digging Juliet out of the Swan. Uh oh, Juilet's slipping away. This is really sad. I feel like I'm intruding. Man, she died before she told him the important thing. Typical for this show. He still blames Jack.

Ok, something weird is happening on the plane in fakereality now. Charlie's foreboding, Des is missing, and Jack is rocking the 70's sideburns. The plane is landing and everyone is melancholy about it, because they are wishing that they would have crashed landed on a crazy island with polar bears and a smoke monster. Charlie's giving Jack the stinkeye, but you shouldn't try to kill yourself on a plane with a doctor. Live and learn. Alternate universe Locke is still paralyzed. He's still depressed Locke. End of first hour.

Second hour - seriously. I don't know if my head can deal with another hour.

Sawyer is sad and rightfully so. Everyone else is taking Sayid to the temple. Sawyer tells Kate to hit the bricks. Love it. Miles makes fun of the guitar and Hurley gives him a look of death. Speaking of looks of death - If Sawyer gave me the look he just gave Jack I probably would have peed myself.

Back in fakereality. Jack squared has been paged to the Oceanic desk. They lost his father's body, proving that airlines have no shame when it comes to lost luggage. I'm surprised the guy didn't say "and you're ugly, too." Just to add insult to injury. On a side not I have a theory that Oceanic is actually Continental, since they always lose my luggage. Apparently Christian's coffin has slipped into a wormhole somewhere because not only was it not on the plane, they have no idea where it is.

That Jimmy Kimmel commercial brought the Lolz. Seriously. "Okay, now you ruined a perfectly good Hot Pocket." WIN

Jin squared speaks no English. This alternate universe makes me realize they were all better off on the island. I'm pretty sure that Sun is going to go ahead and leave fakereality Jin.

Back at the temple (this is exhausting. Really). They are lowering Sayid through the hole in the floor. Kate immediately starts picking a skeleton's pocket because that's just the kind of girl she is. Hurley declares the trip to the temple "awesome." There's the hole Ben fell through when he got beat up by the smoke monster/Nemesis/DarthLocke. Jack is busy being a load as usual. Kate wanders off because she's also a load. Jack, of course, doesn't care about anyone but Kate because she has him under some stupid spell. Now everyone is missing and Jack is all alone in the scary temple. Now they're all being marched through the jungle. We only thought we'd seen the temple. Jacob had a freaking monastery. Sweet! It really does look like the Temple of Doom.

Back in fakereality Kate squared has to go potty after the plane ride. She's really just going to use the pen she lifted from Jack to pick her handcuffs. Sneaky pete. Who washes their face in an airplane restroom? Nasty. Wow. Kate unleashed on him. She's fierce. Now she' riding the elevator with Sawyer and they're exchanging sultry glances and Sawyer notices her handcuffs.

Sawyer's trying to figure out Juliet's secret. You and me both, Sawyer. Sawyer wants Miles to use his talking to dead people power to ask Juliet what she wants. Miles says that Juliet's message was "it worked." Whatever that means. Thanks for nothing, Juliet.

At the monastery, the monks with guns are questioning Hurley and gang. The angry one looks like a pirate and the other one looks like a young, beardless Jerry Garcia. Neither is scary. Cindy steps up and tells the head ninjamonk who they are. He gives the order to shoot. Hurley yells Jacob's name and everybody freezes. We finally get to see what's in the cryptic guitar case. It's a giant wood cross symbol thing, that think that's everywhere on the island. I think it's called an ankh. And they treat it with great reverence. Oh, nevermind. It's a giant wooden fortune cookie. It contains Jacob's list, and all of their names are on it! Awesome! They are taking Sayid to "the spring." The paper said that if Sayid dies, everyone's is in trouble.

There are the missing children. Wow, Jacob is a thorough guy. The spring is a giant, dirty hot tub. Hubs said, "Are they making a vat of tea?" Oh, Hubs! Always bringing the lolz! The man who doesn't speak English is angry about this dirty water. Nothing is worse than a dirty hot tub. Time for a new cleaning company. He's going to stab the water into submission. No, he's just going to clean it with his own blood, which is nastier. Uh oh. Magic pool doesn't heal anymore. That's bad news. Their resale value just went waaay down. Why is Jack all the sudden in charge again? Even Kate is baffled. Okay, after all this time on the island don't these people just understand to trust the others by now. Sheesh-a-loo. I think Sayid is dead. I think they may have drowned him. I'm not sure, though, because I'm not a doctor. Jack does CPR. Kate tries to talk him out of it because if Kate's good at anything it's giving up. And we go to commercial. Not to worry, though, Sayid will probably come back to life 30 times before the end of the series.

Fakereality Sayid is looking at his Nadia picture while Arzt looks on in a creepy stalker-ish way. Kate's still on the run and Island geek kicks her out of her cab. Because he's a geek that way. She hides behind Hurley and then jumps into Claire's cab. The cab driver is one of the bad guys from Heroes. Crossover!

Skinny hippie takes Hurley back to an "herb garden." with the non-English speaking bad guy. Hurely tells them that Jacob is dead and they move to Homeland Security Threat Level Yellow. They immediately start putting out the forcefield ash. Hubs is now talking about building a bamboo rocket. Ben is asking DarthLocke 20 questions. Ben comes to the realization that he's been used his whole life. DarthLocke gives Ben a look inside John's head as he strangled him. "I don't understand." Apparently Nemesis has been trapped on the island and wants to go home. Doesn't he realize he's been stuck there practically forever and the world is not what it used to be? We have Spanxx now!

Dead Sayid. Hurley tells him goodbye and tells him to come find him if he wants to talk. Awesome. Kate is cleaning Sawyer's wounds and getting rid of all the Juliet blood. That's it, Kate. Wash away any evidence of her. Back to seducing Sawyer.

Fkereality Jack is on the phone telling his mom that his dad's body got sucked into a vortex. Locke's in the lost luggage area and asks Jack what he lost. They're so gonna form a man bond. Locke shares the profound nugget that the airline didn't lose Jack's father. They just lost his body. Werd. Locke squared is deep. They also lost Locke's knives. Jack offers to fix Locke's back for free. Aww! Warm fuzzies!

Back on the beach Richard sees the flare and is gonna cry. He freaks and tells them not to shoot DarthLocke. NOOOO! He beat up my Richard and then kidnapped him. I hate him so much.

Everyone else is still moping around the healing pool. Hippie comes in and asks to speak to Jack privately. And Sayid wakes up! Yay!

Previews - Sawyer leaves the temple, Kate goes after him (of course). A lot of talk about who cares about who.

My head hurts. Seriously.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

LOST Recap

Is delayed!!! Oh noes! I typed it up last night and saved it to do some editing on this morning and my laptop crashed about five minutes later. Not kidding. Died as in dead. I'm on one of Hubs's tiny pet laptops right now (I hate it). If he doesn't have it fixed by this afternoon I'll try to remember what I typed. I want to post the original, though, if that's possible, so I'm going to wait until I hear the verdict on my laptop.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Lost Character of the Week

Even immortal masterminds can give the stinkeye.

What can we say about Jacob? Not much, because we don’t know much about him. He likes white shirts. He has mad “building a trap with sticks and catching colorful fish” skills. He also has frying a fish on a rock skills. He has a nemesis, which is pretty cool. His nemesis likes black shirts. This is probably what caused the rift in their relationship. Nemesis wants to kill Jacob, but he can’t because Jacob is the awesome. He apparently has to employ a loophole to kill Jacob. Like I said, awesome.

We first hear of Jacob early on in the series when his “list” is mentioned. Being on Jacob’s list is like having access to an exclusive club. If you’re a crybaby doctor, angry shirtless con man, or island tramp then you’re in! If you’re the likes of Hurley, you’re pretty much out of luck. Jacob is cryptically referred to in the first few seasons of the show as the person in charge, although by the time he’s revealed you had already started believing that he didn’t exist, so seeing him was actually kind of a letdown. Because he’s just a dude, nothing special.

He is the person who gives Richard Alpert his ageless loveliness, though, so he is a-ok in my book. Ben seems to think that Jacob lives in a decrepit cabin in the forest, but he actually has a rockin’ bachelor pad in the giant foot statue. Why live in a cabin when you can live in a statue with a giant fire pit (that gives your nemesis the perfect “oops he fell in the fire” murder weapon).

Let’s talk about the important stuff, though. Jacob is also ageless, Jacob can leave the island, and Jacob has contacted most of our beloved survivors at some point off of the island. And he loves Flannery O’Connor. Back to meeting the survivors, though. Here’s who Jacob fraternized with prior to the crash of 815:

*He visited Sawyer at his parents’ funeral, and even gave him the pen that he would use to write the letter to the real Sawyer

*He visited Kate when she was a wee little hobbit and caught her trying to steal a lunchbox. Instead of putting the fear in her he bailed her out by buying the lunch box and then did some lame, grandfatherly nose tweak thing to her and tells her to be good. This proves once again that Kate has some kind of woman voodoo going on because NO man ever calls her on her crap.

*Jack got scared during surgery early in his career and ran from the operating room straight to the vending machine for a chocolate fix. He put his money in but OOOOOHHHH NOOOOESSSS! His candy bar got stuck (story of my life, Jack, story of my life). True to Jack form he cries like a little girl or something. Then Jacob shows up and buys Jack’s candy bar and tells him he needs to stop being a nancy.

*Later still Jacob shows up at Jin and Sun’s wedding and congratulates them and tells them love is the stuff and he’s happy for them. Jin’s all “That American guy could speak Korean!”

*Farther in the future, Jacob was sitting on a bench on a pristine sunny day, just chillin’ and reading some Flannery O’Connor (holla!) when out of nowhere Locke falls out of the sky. Yowzas. Our Jacob is ruffled by nothing. In fact I’m pretty sure he finished his chapter before he got up, walked to Locke and told him he was sorry that his jerk of a father pushed him out of a window after stealing his kidney.

*Jacob showed up to a hospital room where a very bandaged Illana (girl with the awesome earrings) was being treated and asked her for a favor that we were never privy to.

This is all stuff that happened before flight 815 crashed (except the Illana visit. We weren’t given a time for that so we don’t know when Jacob visited her). A good thing to note was not only did Jacob visit these particular people, but he made sure to physically touch each one. Is that relevant? Dunno.

After the Six returned to the normal world:

*Jacob approaches Sayid and Nadia and asks them for directions. Someone hits and kills Nadia as she stands in the crosswalk waiting for Sayid.

*Hurley is convinced he’s losing his mind and running around like a crazy person when Jacob jumps in the cab, tells Hurls he needs to get his hiney back to the island, and gives him Charlie’s guitar.

After everyone finally returns to the island Locke seemingly rises from the dead. But it’s not Locke! It’s Nemesis wearing a Locke suit! Nemesis talks to Ben and tells him that he needs to confront Jacob about why Jacob has always snubbed Ben (because you’re a nerd Ben. I’m a nerd, too, and have always been snubbed by the cool people living in the foot). Ben goes all crybaby on Jacob and Jacob’s like “why are all these men crying? What have I brought upon this island? Are you all 13 year old girls?” A punch to the face would have sufficed, but we all know Ben and how he’s prone to overreaction. He freaks out and stabs Jacob while Nemesis smiles like the Cheshire cat in the background. Nemesis nonchalantly nudges Jacob into the fire with his foot.

Writing this made me realize something. If Nemesis pushed him into the fire (which is how I remember it happening. Correct me if I’m wrong), then Nemesis killed Jacob, which wasn’t supposed to be possible. Hmmm…

Back to the story. So Jacob is now “dead.” I put that in quotes because dead on this island never means dead for good. Ben gets that “what did I just do” look on his face that we all get when we realize we might have overreacted a teensy bit. If Nemesis had a goatee he would stroke it with glee. The most important part, though, is that since Jacob is dead, does that mean our beloved Richard will age? ! Perish the thought!

Leave corrections in the comments. It’s been soo long I’m sure I missed something.

Sawyer Nicknames: NONE

Sources: Lostpedia;; my memory, fuzzy as it may be


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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

'The Duff' by Kody Keplinger

From the BLURB:

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She’s also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her “the Duff,” she throws her Coke in his face.

But things aren’t so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it. Eager for escape, Bianca throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with him.

Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out Wesley isn’t such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she’s falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.

Bianca Piper has just been let in on a little secret. Something profound that’s made all the more hurtful for being so honest . . . she is the Duff of her friendship group – Designated. Ugly. Fat. Friend.

This little slice of wisdom comes from Wesley Rush, the Hamilton High man-whore. Womanizer extraordinaire, a young Casanova and walking-STD.

“What I’m saying is, girls – like your friends – find it sexy when guys show some sensitivity and socialize with the Duff. So by talking to you right now I am doubling my chances of getting laid tonight. Please assist me here, and just pretend to enjoy the conversation.”

Bianca has always known she isn’t Top Model material. She knows that her best friends, Casey and Jessica are ‘the pretty ones’. Bianca sees that she has small boobs and big thighs, mousy brown hair and no inclination to socialize or dance to the (non) beat of techno music. But to have this fact so rudely thrust upon her is . . . disarming. And it becomes the cherry on top of a perfectly horrible week. A week that sees her absentee mother finally file for divorce, with no warning and no preparation, thereby throwing her alcoholic father back into the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Not to mention the boy who broke her heart is back in town, with his fiancée in tow. So is it any wonder when faced with all these harsh realities, Bianca just wants to escape for a little while . . . and Wesley’s womanizing arms look terrible tempting? Even if he has affectionately nicknamed her ‘Duffy’?

‘The Duff’ was the 2010 debut YA novel from Kody Keplinger.

I knew I would love this book. Everything just screamed; ‘keeper’ to me. The bold bubblegum cover, at odds with the harsh acronym title. The Gen Y ugly-duckling tale. All the rave reviews. I knew that I would adore this book. So I squirreled it away for a reading-slump – knowing I'd pull it out when I needed a pick-me-up in my reading habits. And, lo and behold, it worked . . . and I am in love.

Once upon a time, YA author Judy Blume was praised for her books about tough teen issues like parental divorce, questioning religion and exploring sexuality. But since the days of Blume that yardstick has been moved, and it’s with a new sense of audacious honesty that Keplinger writes her teen melodrama.

In ‘The Duff’ the existential exploration comes when Bianca has the knowledge of her ho-hum looks crudely explained to her via the secret codex of a teenage Lothario. This is the new body-awareness discussion, and it comes on the back of a hurtful comment that is mired in today’s obsession with beauty and being a certain jean-size.

The exploration of sexuality is less of a journey and more blasé acceptance. Keplinger is writing teenagers very, very honestly – so that when Bianca admits to losing her virginity at age fourteen, you can imagine people of a certain age quirking their eyebrows and thinking ‘surely not!’ . . . but teens reading the novel will not bat an eyelash. Nor will they be particularly surprised when Bianca and Wesley begin a purely sexual relationship that’s all about sensual distraction in the wake of family dysfunction. This is not a watered-down slice of teen fiction . . . this is Keplinger writing brutal, high school honesty and representing Gen Y with absolute sincerity.

No matter how raw and frighteningly messy Keplinger’s teenager’s are, they still have a lot of growing up to do. And the novel is ultimately about Bianca realising the pigeon-holed draw-backs of high school, in particular how girls are competing with themselves as much as each other in the nasty stakes;

Calling Vicki a slut or a whore was just like calling someone the Duff. It was insulting and hurtful, and it was one of those titles that just fed off of an inner fear every girl must have from time to time. Slut, bitch, prude, tease, ditz. They were all the same. Every girl felt like ne of these sexist labels described her at some point.
So, maybe, every girl felt like the Duff, too?

I loved that ‘The Duff’ was a great big of teen melodrama. It’s like ‘Mean Girls’ – all gloss on the top, made all the more addictive for having an opposites-attracting, hot n’ heavy romance at its centre . . . but really, Keplinger is mixing in a lot of deeper explorations like feminism, self-image and realizing that boys are as breakable as girls when it comes to sex and relationships.

Dare I say, Kody Keplinger Judy Blume for Gen Y? She writes with a wry cynicism and brutal honesty – mixed with fantastic young melodrama and a biting romance. She is a new automatic-buy author for me.

1 comment:

  1. I have wanted to read this one since I saw the blurb. Then the great reviews started coming out. I've got to have it! Wonderful review, I'm glad it cured your reading slump.

    As an aside, I'm really, really pleased with all the great YA books that have come out recently. Great stuff!

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Friday, January 15, 2010

6 backgrounds done in 1 day, not too shabby.
Though its my regret that I can not make these backgrounds as good looking as some other people but at least they look like they pass. @_@b

I am drained already....

Will finish animating the final shot tomorrow and do another 5 major backgrounds. If I keep this up I will finish all BGs in 2 weeks.

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What’s with this mysterious video with a masked stranger delivering secret codes, GPS coordinates, and encoded instructions to “kill the president”?

// October 19th, 2015 // News

What is this mysterious DVD with masked stranger delivering secret codes, GPS coordinates, and encoded instructions to “kill the president”?

A strange cryptographic video began circulating a few days ago. One man found it in his email inbox. Another found it in on a DVD delivered to his postal mailbox and addressed from Poland. Yet another found it on a park bench. Then it appeared on YouTube, posted by “Parker Wright” and titled 11B-X-1371. From there it spread to various boards on the Internet, including a paranormal board on 4chan, where amateur encryption gurus began untangling the myriad of codes, clues, symbols, and masked music embedded throughout the video. Thus far, nobody knows what the intent of the video is but clues therein include the message “you are already dead” hidden within a graphical-spectrogram of the background music, the anagram “Kill the President” flashed in Morse Code, and the GPS coordinates of the White House. Hoax, marketing ploy, or real threat to someone or something in the United States?

In the video (embedded below), we see a creepy looking man wearing a black robe and crow’s mask stand there and well, do stuff. In the background, various symbols appear and reappear on the wall while items on the concrete ledge change position. The man flashes various symbols using his hand, a light, and on-screen images. In the audio background, a bizarre barrage of electronic music rolls throughout the video, music which was found to contain steganographic content.

Various clues found on the DVD

The mask the man in the video wears is similar to a mask doctors wore during the black death plague (the beak was filled with herbs intended to ward off the plague).  Below are a collection of solutions to clues that have been discovered thus far.

  • The first DVD delivered via postal mail included what looked like a product key written on the disk. It read “YWEldTAxMDJVJXU wVMFjZ2E=”
  • The man in the video is blinking Morse code with his eyes. Later a light appears in the palm of his hand which also flashes Morse code messages.
  • In the background, on the wall, symbols appear and disappear including the letter “G” wrapped within an eyeball shape.
  • When the soundtrack is run through a spectrogram (which shows the variations in audio frequency over time), various images appear including the message “you are already dead” captioned over a “magic eye” stereogram.
  • At 1:37 in the video, below and to the left in the audio spectrogram are the characters E2-E3 D1-F3 F1-C4 F3xF7. This is a four-move checkmate in chess.
  • The code “33 38 2e 38 39 37 37 30 39 2c 2d 37 37 2e 30 33 36 35 34 33” found within the soundtrack is GPS coordinates 38.897709,-77.036543 which resolves precisely to The White House, W Executive Ave NW, Washington, DC 20502.
  • Images also are found in the audio spectrogram including several photos of a woman being tortured and sexually abused. Pictures in the torture segment include a victim with metal sheers stuck in the abdomen area and another person with signs if genital mutilation.
  • Coded voices have also been found in the soundtrack.
  • For those that obtained the video on DVD, the DVD menu itself also includes several hidden clues including a death mask over what appears to be ASCII encoded text.
  • One Morse code message in the video translates to “RED LIPSLIFE TENTH”.  Replace the “F” with “K” and you have an anagram: “Kill the President”.
  • A Morse code message also contains a binary string which decoded reads, “You have one year or less” in Spanish.
  • A sequence of flashing lights is translated as Morse code for “2015 There will be three”.
  • A sequence of letters written in the Wingdings 3 font is decrypted as “”A ???is on the ris? ??nl join, or y???bll. The viru?h??? too far; i???s?pped. We w??l ? i??t it’s roo? ?????, will bur..”

At this point, it’s impossible to say if the puzzle is some kind of manic artwork, the works of an extremely ambitious serial killer, a test devised by cryptoanalytics seeking new talent, a genuine threat, or an incredibly elaborate publicity stunt for a movie (possibly Inferno by Dan Brown) or video game (Half Life 3 maybe).

Check out the full video below. I’ve included some still-frame shots at the end of the video with arrows marking some of the clues discovered thus far.

What is this mysterious DVD with masked stranger delivering secret codes, GPS coordinates, and encoded instructions to “kill the president”?

Check out various still-frames with clues noted in the pictorial gallery below.

No related articles or news found.

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That’s a lot of bull.

A 20 year-old American tourist died last week after he and two friends got drunk and jumped off a bridge into a river in Seville, Spain. Guess a more intelligent alternative wasn’t available, like running with the bulls?

That’s a lot of bull. — 4 Comments

  1. The Vatican is displaying bones claimed to be those of St. Peter, the first pope who died in 67AD. No one can prove it, but Larry King swears Pete was on his first show.

  2. Boeing warned airlines about a risk of icing on 787 Dreamliners … Serious stuff. We haven’t had icing problems like this since Hillary was First Lady.

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Monday, July 30, 2012

Day 45: Profile Picture

To add a little adventure and excitement to the monotony of my work day, today I ventured to the new bathroom across the office.  It was a beautiful brass-furnished bathroom complete with an octagonal mirror through which I could see every single angle of my face.  I must have spent twenty minutes just standing there fascinated by the ability to scrutinize each and every facet of my post-surgery profile.  The changes are indeed subtle, but definitely significant!  I can't help feeling that this was the way I was always supposed to look-- I love seeing photos of my profile now!

I'm still very malar-deficient, but there's not much I can do about that.  It's an amazing feeling to have the most difficult parts of surgery behind me and to be enjoying the results. :)

Day 44: Olympics & Numbness

This morning I awoke with considerable energy so I rolled out of bed, put on my workout clothes, and.... spent hours watching the London olympics.  They are just too addicting!  I'm fascinated by the heavily-muscled athletes who appear to breathe commitment, focus, strength, and willpower.  It is a raw, emotionally compelling event as well: the feeling of breaking a new record or advancing to finals seems to be the purest form of joy.  A few friends and I just finished watching women's gymnastics, marveling at their devotion to the sport-- if only I could have that sort of passion for something!

In jaw surgery-related news, I'm starting to regain the tiniest bit of feeling back in my gums!  Up until now, the gums holding my upper teeth in place have been completely numb since surgery.  Now it hurts a little if I poke certain parts- yay!  The surgeon warned that the nerves may not regenerate, but I'm hoping that this means they will.
Also: splint removal date confirmed for August 14th-- YES!  This means two weeks until splint freedom.  I cannot wait!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Day 43: California Sunshine!

It was a true blue sunny California day.  A friend and I visited the US Open of Surfing, a massive event consisting of hordes of bikini-clad beachgoers, booths on booths of unnecessary free stuff, and of course, surfing.  The place was peppered with photo-ops which I avoided as much as possible.
My friend did manage to snap this candid shot:

Shoes meant to be signed hang from strings around the event because why the hell not.

My profile looks so... normal!  I am relieved/amazed to not see my chin poking out.  After awhile, my friend finally persuaded me to take a photo with her, despite my reservations about my splinty smile.

From far away, it just looks like I have braces!
Because everyone likes comparisons, here's a photo of us before surgery:

It's a little difficult to see an enormous difference from these pictures, but it's definitely there. :)

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Day 42: Splint Close-Up

Oh how I love feeling normal again!  Tonight consisted of going OUT to dinner, The Dark Knight Rises, and hours spent just hanging with friends.  One of my favorite types of nights-- and the splint hardly interfered.

Now that I have regained full mobility of my jaw, I thought I'd post a picture of my splint for those wondering what it looks like.  I recall not being able to find many clear photos of the thing while researching surgery, so here's mine:

As is evident from the photo, the splint extends all the way to the back of my palate with a small opening through which I can touch the roof of my mouth.  I imagine this is what a horse feels like with that metal bit in its mouth.  Ugh.  Can't wait until I'm free of this awful thing!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Day 41: New Splint Removal Date?

A bit of good news on the jaw front today: there was an opening at a different office to undergo my splint removal a few days earlier!  Although it has yet to be confirmed, August 14th would be the new date rather than August 17th.  A few days may seem negligible but I will gladly take any opportunity to have a little more time without this massive, annoying thing in my mouth.  It has just been so long since I've actively wanted to go out, enjoy myself, meet new people, try new places.  That's who I've always wanted to be, not someone who is content to stay in, avoiding others night after night.  I'm itching to regain confidence but it feels like a fruitless effort when I'm spitting all over the place.

I am absolutely relieved that the weekend is finally here-- my first full week of work was exhausting!  Tomorrow I am seeing the friend I spoke about yesterday and I am eager to offer my support in person. We're all still reeling from the news, but the situation is optimistic and hopefully this is an isolated instance that won't give her trouble again.

It's so interesting to read about those whose blogs I follow who just had their surgeries!  Those first couple of days were a hellish blur for me, days that seem to have taken place years ago.  I am grateful to be thus far in my journey and am wishing those new patients all the best!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Day 40: Perspective

Life is often a frustrating, unpredictable animal.  While at work today, I received some awful news about one of my best friends: someone I grew up with and love dearly.  I won't publish too many details, but in short-- she has a family history of cancer which has possibly now manifested itself in her.  Cells that were initially regarded as harmless have now progressed to the point where she requires an operation to remove them.  Though it was caught early and not widespread, this news is terrifying.
She and I spoke nearly every day up until a few days ago: we have always been very open and supportive of one another.  Lately I sensed that she had been less responsive but I never expected to hear anything like this.  I was in shock.  I'm still in shock!  Someone my age, so young and so close to me?  Unbelievable!  I'm floored.
She, two other friends and I form a close group of four that has been together for the majority of our lives.  Although we all scattered to different high schools and colleges across the country, we are never out of contact.  We support, listen, and care for one another deeply throughout our varying experiences with life:  I would be absolutely lost without them!  Upon hearing the news, we all called each other to discuss our friend.  We concluded that the most we can do is offer our utmost love and support, as we are uncertain as to what the future holds for her.
She was with me all throughout my own recovery, hanging out with me frequently though I was all puffed up and unable to talk.  She's the first friend I saw after surgery and the first I visited after my bands came off.  Every step of the way she's been with me, as I will be for her now.
My own issues, meanwhile, pale in comparison.  I voluntarily accepted the risks and consequences of this surgery, a privilege she is unable to have.  It has really put this whole process in perspective.
A statement becoming more and more true each day: the only constant in life is change.  Our greatest skill lies in acceptance, adaptation, strength, and the ability to support the ones we love.

Day 39: Good Luck!

I would like to take this post to wish fellow bloggers Rosa and Erin the best of luck on their surgeries tomorrow!  As well as using this site as a medium to tell my own jaw surgery story, I have, since day one, been engrossed in the stories of others.  Everyone experiences this differently and it's fascinating to live through so many different perspectives.  I love the community of bloggers as well- everyone is so supportive of one another! It's so comforting and validating to know that I am not alone in this endeavor.  It's strange to think all the way back to the emotional roller coaster that was the night before surgery.  I couldn't understand my own emotions: it was an uncomfortable mix of excitement, nerves, restlessness, and anticipation.  I have come so far since then, stomaching the process with a blend of will and overwhelming support.  Kind words from others gave me so much confidence!  A little encouragement goes a long way during something like this, so I will say it again- good luck you two and stay strong! <3

Monday, July 23, 2012

Day 38: Communication Issues

Meeting new people used to be one of my favorite activities: I loved taking the opportunity to learn another's perspective and begin to build a relationship with a potential friend.  Now I dread it.  A new intern arrived at work today and greeted me with a friendly smile, which I returned with my metallic one.  I was conscious of choking on my words as I introduced myself through my splint.  I hastily explained that I had just had jaw surgery, and she considerately asked about the details.  But as the day went on, she could not for the life of her understand me.  In one instance I had to say the word "music" three or four times before she got what I was trying to say-- how embarrassing!  Even though I can talk again, communication is still a major issue.  Your mouth is just the worst place to have tampered with!  I could never be a dentist.

I'm thinking about making another YouTube video where I say funny words that are difficult to say with my splint.  Maybe sometime if I'm bored enough!

Day 37: Breakable

"Have the courage to be imperfect."  I read this bit of inspiration on a friend's Facebook status (hi Claire if you happen to be reading this!) and began to rethink my post I wrote a few days ago.  Using this recovery time to begin to pick apart my other imperfections is definitely not the way I wanted to approach this situation.  Accepting exactly who and what you are is so essential to being happy, even in a time of these confusing, frustrating changes!

Now that I'm gaining more and more mobility in my jaw, I've been doing my best to ignore my splint and try to eat normally.  At the same time, I'm paranoid that the chewing I've been doing will somehow fracture my palate!  There are so many activities, such as riding a bike, that are now inaccessible for fear of breaking some of that fragile thin bone up there.  Even after the splint is out, my parents and surgeon have advised me against doing anything that may put my jaw in danger.  The last thing I want is for this surgery to grant me more limitations.  Hopefully in time, jaw surgery will not always sit uncomfortably at the back of my mind!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Day 36: Cephalometric Scans & Diagnosis Details

I will begin by saying that today welcomed a much better mood than yesterday.  I spent the day at the beach with a friend and went out for sushi: my first meal in a restaurant since surgery!  Eating presented a bit of a challenge, but in small enough pieces I can pretty much eat all foods now.  I was definitely embarrassed having to speak with waitresses and such in my near-unintelligible splint-voice, but overall I am happy to be feeling a bit more normal little by little.

Today I received my cephalometric scans as well as additional information on my condition from my oral surgeon.  The "ceph" is a lateral view of the skull, a scan performed by placing the patient's head in a large robotic torture device that consists of metal plugs that rest uncomfortably in her ears to keep her head steady.  The scans are then analyzed for fixed bony points in the skull.  Lines are drawn between those points, measurements are taken, and angles are compared with a series of norms to determine the severity of the patient's condition and establish plans for surgery.

Here is the analysis of my underbite:

And here was the projected outcome:

From these scans, my oral surgeon determined my diagnosis to be a class III malocclusion with a maxillary hypoplasia.  He could also discern that my mandible was in a proper position and therefore it was only my maxilla that needed advancing.  The exact plan for my surgery was as follows: I required a two-piece segmental LeFort I osteotomy to correct my transverse discrepancy in a 5mm advancement and midline correction.  The e-mail I received also contained some god-awful "before" mug shots that nobody will ever see because they are the most hideous, repulsive photos I have ever seen of anyone ever.

So that's it!  If you were ever curious about the details, there you go!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Day 35: Frustration

I came home from work today all pissed off at my situation and everything and everyone.  I was going to spare any readers of this blog this information, but the day just is no longer complete without posting.  The major reason I decided to write this diary-style is due to this blog, which is one of the first and most helpful jaw-surgery related blogs I read before surgery.  Because hers was daily, I found it valuable to be able to compare what I was feeling at each point in my journey to her similar experience.  This surgery requires so much more than the necessary information concerning eating, banding, bracing, or before & afters.  The emotional component, at least from my standpoint, is huge.
So as to why I'm feeling all pissed off: I'm beginning to question whether or not all of this was worth it. Of course it's too early to tell, given I still am far from a final result, but I can't help thinking that I would have fared just as well in life had I not chosen to go through with surgery.  And of course I can't do anything about it now.  I am just sick of all this.  My optimistic self assures me that this is a learning and growing experience that I will be glad to have weathered in the end.  My short-tempered, impatient current self is completely exasperated and fed up with feeling like an idiot with all this hardware in my mouth.
I've always felt so imperfect, a patient who needs to be fixed.  My jaw isn't my only issue, as I've addressed briefly in other posts: instead of looking forward to a worry-free future, my mind now gravitates towards the other surgeries I need.  Orthognathic surgery may be the most major, but it is nowhere near the panacea for the other functional issues to which I have learned to adapt.  Making matters worse, I sense my own tangible negativity and self-pitying.  My issues are minor compared to those of many others, yet I sit and complain about every unfavorable thing rather than just shut up and be happy.  It's just one of those days I guess.
And plus there was that awful shooting in Colorado today.  (Lets just make this post more depressing)
So ANYWAY I hate to end on that note so I will say that I made plans to go to the beach and see a movie this weekend with some friends- I'm sure I'll cheer up with activities that'll get my mind off surgery.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Day 34: Work Again & Ortho Visit

I'm typing this blog post through itching, burning, aching, squinting eyes.  After such a long respite from alarm clocks and responsibilities, I'm absolutely exhausted from my first day back at work.  It's not that my work is very demanding-- I am just interning from the summer-- but the project I am working on involves long energy-zapping intervals of staring at the computer.  Everyone was eager to ask about my surgery and how I was feeling-- I tried not to spit all over the place as I told them.  My boss told me he was glad to have me back!

My fatigue was not helped by having to go directly to the orthodontist after work, where I learned that I will have to remain in metal braces for at least SIX MONTHS after the splint is out.  When will this nightmare ever be over?  Granted braces aren't all that terrible, but I am just astounded by the length of time this whole process requires.  Because my orthodontist doesn't want to take any chances that my thin jawbones may splinter if I bite down too vigorously, he cannot rely on Invisalign to do the job.  So, braces it is.

I can now open my mouth about two finger-widths wide which means I've been more adventurous with foods.  If I am careful, I can pretty much consume anything within reason by lightly chewing with my splint.  Though I am so grateful for this, everything still has to be cut into small pieces so that food takes ages to consume.  I'm still trying to learn patience-- 28 days until splint freedom!

Day 33: Jaw Surgery Reflections

I have spent more time indoors this summer than ever before.  Ordinarily, I delight in taking the opportunity to travel: I am always thrilled to immerse myself in a new culture and language, see the sights, have adventures.  Today I spoke with my best friend via Facetime, someone I've traveled with each summer for the past four or five years.  Her adventure for the season ironically coincided with mine again, however now she is on a two-month excursion in Bolivia while I am here in a two-month experience in jaw surgery.  While she is becoming fluent in Spanish, I am becoming fluent in patience.  And Netflix.  I don't want to sound bitter by any means, but I guess I'm just becoming a little restless.  I'm so eager to go out and grab life by the horns while I am still young and able!  Regardless, I do believe I will come out of this that much more appreciative of each moment I don't have to spend struggling to talk, having wires tear the inside of my mouth, or sucking Ensure out of a syringe.  I may not have been able to see much of the world this summer, but I think this experience has deepened mine.

Tomorrow I return to work, which should be interesting.  As much as the I really should feeling is tugging at me, I am still so reluctant to see and talk to people who aren't close friends while I am in this state.  I also have an orthodontist appointment in which the man will once again attempt to bend down the wires in my gums (the assistant was unsuccessful the first time, I'm pretty sure it's impossible).  Also, I am eager to ask about the next steps to follow once the splint is finally out.  How long do I have to remain in braces?  Is it at all possible to switch to Invisalign?  I don't really understand what the difference would be between metal braces and Invisalign post-surgically-- if the objective is to hold the teeth in their new bite, can that not be done without wires and brackets?  I'm not sure if it's possible, but that would be absolutely amazing to have every scrap of metal (besides the plates holding my jaw together) out of my face by the end of the summer.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Day 32: Returning To Normal Life?

Splint-filled life is slowly beginning to resemble regular life: I'm feeling less like a patient and more like a person.  Today consisted of hanging out at the beach with a friend, watching Breaking Bad on Netflix and eating mac and cheese, pumpkin bread, and various other normal foods!  Though I can chew a little now, I still spit and stumble when I speak.  I am still reluctant to completely rejoin society as I am obviously self-conscious about the splint, but feel a strong obligation to return to work.  My boss has been more than accommodating: because I have to be able to talk for the job I haven't been in the office for this entire month!  I've decided to go back Thursday.  It will be strange to go out in public like this, but I keep telling myself that I need to be eased back in.  Life doesn't stop with jaw surgery, as nice as it would be to go to some island and chill there for another month until all of this is over.

My friend's dog helping the healing process.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Day 31: One Month In Pictures

Since I figure the majority of the swelling has now gone down, I thought it would be interesting to compile all of my progress pics over the month in this post!  Prepare to scroll:

Aaaand in profile:

There's definitely a little swelling around my lips and cheeks still, but I think I'm more or less at my final form!

I learned today that my appointment to get my splint out has been made for August 17th.  Another month from now.  Ugh.  Sometimes it seems like this process will never end-- my whole summer's shot!  I must have been too optimistic going into surgery, thinking that I would have a little free time without all the hardware in my mouth.  Nope.  The wires under my gums on the bottom are serving no purpose, staying in for the sole reason that taking them out requires the complete sedation that will accompany removal of the splint.  I wish I could tear them out myself, but I am powerless to do anything but wait.  I anxiously await the day when jaw surgery isn't always on my mind!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Day 30: New Obstacles

Eating has proved to be equally, if not more, of a challenge now that the bands are removed.  Liquids are infinitely easier to consume, but I am desperate to graduate to more normal foods.  Unfortunately, attempting to eat solids is excruciating.  I tried scrambled eggs this morning, and due to the limited movement of my jaw, could only scoop in tiny pieces at a time with a spoon.  The process took ages: I felt like that Buddhist prince who tried to achieve nirvana by eating a grain of rice per day!
I was successful with a Cup of Noodles though, which was amazing.  However, the way I ate felt disgusting: it was a slobbery display in which I used my tongue to maneuver the noodles into my mouth then mashed them around in an attempt to chew.  Regardless, I ate those noodles. And did not have to puree them.  YES.  Also whenever I'm hungry, the image of a syringe pops into my brain and I constantly have to remind myself that I am done with those horrible things for good!

Now that my mouth is gaining more feeling bit by bit, the pain of extended talking is near unbearable due to the thick metal wires under my gums that stick the inside of my cheeks and lips.  My tongue, which has finally escaped from its prison, can now feel the tender, torn flesh.  I layered dental wax on the worst offenders, but the wires seem to be sticking out everywhere.  Sometimes a lip gets caught while talking and-- OUCH.  Not a pleasant experience.  The stitches under my upper lip are also coming out, which I asked my surgeon about.  His response was dismissive-- apparently they are supposed to dissolve?

Here's a close up of what's going on in there (kinda gross, sorry!):

The white stuff is wax, don't worry!

The splint is that clear plastic thing that fits over my upper teeth-- it extends all the way back like a retainer.  According to the surgeon, the epoxied brackets were not strong enough to hold my jaw in place during surgery, so he fashioned the wires on the bottom around my teeth and under my gums.  Those things are the worst.

I'm not sure if it's evident from this picture, but my bite is now perfect!  Once all of that crazy metal is removed, my teeth will fit together quite nicely.  At this I am so relieved-- this lengthy ordeal is proving to be worth it.

Day 29: The No-Band Smile!

A friend came to visit today, and we snapped this picture!
Big metal-filled smile!

And here's a similar photo we took pre-braces:

We looked a lot tanner back then!

Here I was exercising my classic turn-the-head mouth-slightly-open pose in which I could most comfortably smile.  Smiling involves a lot less effort now, though it includes a lot more pain due to the bits of metal tearing up the inside of my mouth.  Most everyone who has seen me say they see little change in my appearance, which I guess is a positive thing- being unrecognizable would be awful!

Friday, July 13, 2012

BIG DAY TODAY!  I arrived at the surgeon's for my appointment hoping for the best, but honestly expecting nothing.  He had assured me that I would be in fixation for a solid six weeks, today's appointment being only to loosen the bands holding my jaws together.  However, when the surgeon strolled casually into the room as he always seems to do, he nonchalantly remarked, "Have we cut those bands off yet?  What has it been, six weeks now?"  I instantly was shaking with excitement- was today going to be the day I would be able to eat and talk again?  He bent down and squinted, examining my teeth.  He nodded.  "Okay, try not to move your jaw around too much, you're going to be sore after," YES IT WAS!
Opening my mouth again was a strange, almost alien sensation.  I was instantly a lot more conscious of the big plastic splint in my mouth, and the fact that it smelled.  Awful.  I practiced trying to talk in the bathroom mirror, the voice coming naturally, but painfully due to the metal wires jutting into the inside of my mouth.  However, on the car ride home, I was overcome with joy: I CAN TALK AGAIN!  I excitedly began to speak with my parents, called friends, and took some pictures:

My tongue can finally see the light of day!

I was STOKED.  My first order of business as soon as I got home was to EAT SOLID FOOD.  My mom made me some pasta, and I quickly realized that I was biting off more than I could chew. (HA!) My mouth can only open so far, and my joints were giving me a head and neckache from the chatting.  I could only eat via swallowing one pasta shell at a time whole, which was excruciating.  Unfortunately, I will have to hold off on solid foods for a little longer.  But still, it's a HUGE step towards normalcy.  We happily threw away all the syringes that have littered the house for the past month and broke out the baby spoons.  YES!

Because it's my first opportunity to talk, I also decided to record a video so that readers of this blog could more easily visualize my face and hear my gargly voice:

That's an attractive thumbnail photo.

It's strange to suddenly be granted speech again.  After such a long period of silence, I have to actively remind myself that I'm able to articulate the thoughts in my head.  This blog has been my voice for the past month, writing and art my means of expression.  I felt like a monk, exploring my thoughts, feelings, and capabilities while under a vow of silence.  It was a unique experience, one I never would have undertaken had I not been forced to by this surgery.  Though I learned a lot, I am definitely grateful for the silent stage in my life to have ended.  There's still a long way to go, but today marked a massive milestone in my journey!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Day 27: Insurance Worries

Wrestling with insurance coverage is a topic central to most other jaw surgery blogs I've seen, and I realize I haven't talked about it at all!  Initially, we encountered a lot of trouble trying to get my insurance to cover my surgery.  My secondary health care plan denied coverage on the basis of... nothing.  Seriously, nothing.

Wait what?

Bottom line: the second highlighted bit that says orthognathic surgery jaw alignment is covered.  I guess what happened is that whoever reviewed my case did not understand anything, and thought I was getting jaw surgery as treatment for sleep apnea.  My dad hastily wrote an appeal to this decision, stating that I what I was getting was orthognathic surgery, a functional necessity that should be covered under insurance.  This morning, I received this letter:

Covered -yay!

Phew, that saved a couple thousand dollars!  Surgery's still not free, and my parents had to pay a deductible, but this sure helped a lot.  Insurance companies are annoying things-- I'm so fortunate to have parents in the medical field who know how to deal with them!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Day 26: Flexibility

Excitement for the day: I was having some chocolate ice cream after dinner tonight when the syringe just absolutely EXPLODED.  Everywhere.  Chocolate got all over my face, the couch, my clothes, just UGH everywhere.  #liquiddietproblems.  And this isn't the first time this has happened: I'm still finding dried applesauce all over the kitchen!  I will be so happy when I can eat normally again!

Other than that little fiasco, today mostly consisted of trying to stay limber.  My muscles have been unusually tight lately and my back has been in spasm from inactivity.  (In addition to the whole jaw problem, I also have moderate to severe scoliosis, but that's a whole different story-- I got the best genes I know)  So, I picked through YouTube to find yoga and zumba videos and spent the day keeping flexible in a sports bra and spandex!  Now I'm feeling so much better!  I'm just itching to be active again, but it's difficult if I can't open my mouth to breathe.  One more day till my appointment with the surgeon!  Crossing my fingers that he'll be in a good mood and take off my bands.

What I was up to today!

OH and also a bit of good news: I had this muscle in my face that's been so painful to move whenever I tried to smile that now doesn't hurt anymore!  I still experience weird sensations when I animate, but it's mostly feelings of numbness and soreness.  No more pain woohoo! :)

Day 25: Silent Expression

I woke up today feeling artsy as HELL.  The morning consisted of downloading a plethora of new music which I then listened to all afternoon while sketching on the patio in a wifebeater and pajama pants!

Look at how happy she is without braces...

Losing my voice has steered me towards alternative modes of expression, namely writing and art!  I've become so much more in touch with creativity now that I've had all this excess time to myself.  This I am grateful for and appreciative of, but the aftermath of jaw surgery still sucks.  I guess I'm just still seeking out positivity in the midst of all this shit.  Things have been stable for so long that I need to actively remind myself that I will not have to be silent or foodless forever.  I've almost become accustomed to this lifestyle.  Maybe some small part of me will miss not feeling the obligation to go out or speak-- it's an opportunity to learn more about oneself.  Though I still see friends, it's usually to just to watch a movie or show (I can't do much!).  It might even be strange to readjust to my previous life of talking, eating, smiling.  What if I can't remember how?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Day 24: Syringes On Syringes On Syringes

If you've ever wondered how I've been feeding myself for the past three weeks, it basically looks like this:

Enjoying some fruit juice!

As I've stated in other posts, the only spaces that food/drink can get through my fixed jaws are the small gaps behind my teeth.  Therefore, I need to have long rubber attachments on my syringes so that I can get back that far!

Dissembled syringes everywhere.

I am so fervently hoping that I will get looser bands on my teeth at my appointment Friday-- it would be amazing to start to try and fit small bits of real food in!  Liquid just doesn't hit the spot.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Day 23: Girl With A Pearl Earring

Maybe I'll become a psychiatrist after all of this.  In my state of being unable to talk, I have spent a great deal more time listening to and understanding others.  Last night while hanging out with a close friend, she remarked to me that the best friends are those who can exchange no words without any awkwardness or feeling of obligation to speak.  If nothing else, I really have learned through this experience just how fortunate I am to have such wonderful people in my life that love me no matter what condition I'm in!  And after college, an environment in which I am constantly surrounded by a large variety of people, I have now come to appreciate solitude and self-reflection time.  I have also acquired a lot of patience.  Also thanks to some Youtube videos that some friends and I watched one night, I now know several dirty words in sign language. hahaha.

I took this photo of my profile today:

Channelling Vermeer's Girl With A Pearl Earring?

Day 22: Post-Surgery Food List!

Opened my fridge today and saw this:

I've taken over the refrigerator!

And I realized that although I addressed it briefly in this post, I wanted to make a definitive list of all the liquid-type foods I have been eating while in fixation!  If you're getting surgery in the future and need some suggestions on what to stock up on, I recommend:

GoGo Squeezes: All the little green pouches of applesauce in the picture!  I absolutely love these because they are delicious and easy to eat.  Apple-cinnamon is my favorite!  The only problem is they don't fill you up all that much, not that any of these foods really do.

Ensure Plus: For getting in those calories!  Lots of protein and vitamins and minerals and all that good stuff.  I like the taste too: a lot of protein shakes have a grainy, medicinal texture, but this just tastes like chocolate milk.  Also good for mixing with ice cream!

Naked Juice: Yummy in the mornings, and fills you up more than you would think!

Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus Shakes: I'm big on chocolate, and this shake is chocolate-packed and contains lots of protein and other nutrients!

V8 Fusion Juice: To get in those servings of fruits and veggies!

Graduates Grabbers: Applesauce similar to GoGo squeeze.  There are a lot more flavor options, but not all of them are fantastic.

I did not like the taste of: Muscle Milk (ew), or Myoplex original (more ew).
In addition to these foods, I mostly eat blended soups, melted ice cream, and smoothies.  I also take an iron supplement which can be mixed with fruit juice.  I can only eat what fits through the syringe, which means I can't have any little chunks that easily get stuck.
If your surgery is coming up in the near future, make sure to determine what you like and get a lot of it! Liquids hold me for a little while, but I get hungry very quickly and frequently.  It's been a challenge to keep my weight up (I'm still at about five or six pounds less than where I started), but the protein shakes help!  It's crazy that I've survived like this for so long.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Wow, three weeks since surgery--  so hard to believe!  It feels great to have the worst behind me.  I've been venturing out in public a little more as well: a friend and I went to see The Amazing Spiderman today!  I definitely felt a little awkward not being able to talk- she had to buy my ticket for me and I just had to nod to everyone.  I've had to miss out on a lot due to recovery, so it's nice to get out and do something normal once and awhile!

Sent this to a friend while in the car-- silly.  My dad won't let me drive because if I get pulled over I won't be able to defend myself!

Because it's been three weeks, here are some progress pics:

My swelling's nearly gone from my cheeks (it's there on the right) but it's still around my lip area. It's not that visible from these pictures.

When I bite down, I feel as if my teeth touch more on the left side than the right.  I'm not sure if I'm imagining it or not, but it's something I'm going to bring up with my surgeon when I finally see him!

I also jogged a little for the first time since surgery, which felt amazing.  My legs had been withering away from underuse, my muscles were aching, and I've been very lethargic.  Because I can't vent air from my mouth, I have refrained from exercising too strenuously.  Regardless, it's so important to try to move those muscles during recovery!  I'm embarrassed at how out of shape I must be, it's gonna be hell working myself up for track season again!

I know I keep saying this over and over, but I miss food.  So, so very much.  I had never been one for fine dining in my pre-surgery life.  On the contrary, I ate very little, taking only what I needed to satisfy hunger and then not caring to finish the rest.  Food was never at the forefront of my priorities; rather, it always lingered in the background somewhere as a boring necessity.  Now food is all I think about-- maybe I'll develop an interest in cooking or something after all this!  Oh, what I would give to bury my teeth in a soft, savory, sweet turkey burger right now.  My stomach is audibly groaning at the thought!  Someday we'll be together again, food my love.  Someday.