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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tonight I was accused of being non-cosmopolitan. Before that, I was accused of not loving Russia enough. (I mean, how much more Russian can I get, some of you are wondering. I know! Anyway...)

So, to refute both claims I am posting an English translation of a German band singing a song about Russia, presented by a Polish channel. Potential kol isha.

(Also, yes, I am alive.)

Moscow, queen of the russian land,
Built like a rock to stand, proud and divine.
Moscow, your golden towers glow,
Even through ice and snow, sparkling they shine.

And every night, night, night, there is music,
Oh, every night, night, night, there is love.
And every night, night, night, there is laughter,
Here's to you brother, hey, brother, ho!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Moscow, Moscow, throw your glasses at the wall,
And good fortune to us all, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, join us for a casatchok,
We'll go dancing round the clock, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, drinking Vodka all night long,
Keeps you happy, makes you strong, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, come and have a drink and then,
You will never leave again, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Hey!

Moscow, la-la-la..., ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, la-la-la..., ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Moscow! Moscow!

Moscow, Moscow, [censored]
[censored] ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, she will make you understand,
Russia is a wondrous land, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Moscow! Moscow!

And every night, night, night, there is music,
Oh, every night, night, night, there is love.
And every night, night, night, there is laughter,
Here's to you brother, hey, brother, ho!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Moscow, Moscow, throw your glasses at the wall,
And good fortune to us all, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, join us for a casatchok,
We'll go dancing round the clock, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, drinking Vodka all night long,
Keeps you happy, makes you strong, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hey!
Moscow, Moscow, come and have a drink and then,
You will never leave again, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Hey!

I dreamed of you for three years

A Jewish musician from Odessa. Good stuff. War and post-war (40’s and 50’s) songs.

About a sailor Kostya:

“I love you, life” (who knew Russians had such songs, huh?):

“Beloved city” (I always thought the song was about Leningrad, because it’s my favorite city, but I guess for Marc Bernes it would be about Odessa):

“Dark night”:

“I dreamed of you for three years”:

Compare the above (it helps if you know the lyrics, but if you don’t, it’s all very romantic and idealistic) with this.

My native shores

Following the last two posts... (I personally am not a fan of this guy, to be honest, but the music is awesome.)

Music of my grandparents’ times.

More cosmopolitanism. A Russian Jew and a Korean (both educated in Germany):

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Tidbits of conversations

Y: “We have to defrost the freezer. So, please, everyone, move your stuff to freezer B, while I am defrosting the freezer A.”
J: “Haven’t we defrosted the freezer very recently?”
R: “Yeah, just a few months ago.”
Y: “It takes very little time for the ice to grow again. Also, when you’re getting out something from the freezer, please have in mind before you open the door which box you need on which rack on which shelf. Then, quickly take out the box and close the door. Then look for your sample in the box. Don’t stand there looking for your sample with the freezer door open.”
K: “Five-second rule.”
J: “Like when you drop food on the floor.”
The boss: “And if you have poured all the milk out of a carton, don’t put the empty carton back on the shelf.”

Another one, while walking in the hall:

— ...turned down [...] which is a perfectly respectable state school, because she wants to go to some college in Idaho where they teach you programming for computer games.
— [something inaudible]
— I have been working very hard to try to make her reconsider and go to a real college, but she is... [enter the elevator]

In the lab:

— I now have mice homozygous for [conditionally knocked-out gene].
— Oh, nice. Are they messed up?
— No. Unfortunately, they are not.
— That sucks. We are having really bad luck at producing freaks.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Faithfulness to a Rebbe

I heard a few more stories from Rabbi Paltiel’s shiur today.

Tzemach Tzedek and a number of other Jewish “authorities” (I am using quotation marks, because among them were not just frum Jews and gedolim, but also major appikorsim of the time), were brought by the government to Petersburg to vote on a number of “Jewish questions”, most of which, as was usual for such conferences, had to do with “modernization” and assimilation of Jews.

There was a garden which was off-limits to most of the people, but could be used by the government officials and the guests of the government. Tzemach Tzedek never entered that garden. Even though to walk from the hotel where he was staying to the place of the conference, he had to go around the garden, which was quite a walk, he still did that every day.

On one day, they were supposed to discuss and then vote on the proposal to ban all books containing Kabbalah and Chassidus. Rabbi Paltiel says: appikorsim knew the power of Chassidus and Kabbalah. He also tells a story of one girl who was interested in Judaism and was going to a Reform temple. At the same time she encountered a local shliach and went to a few classes by him. One day she came to the Reform “rabbi” of the temple and asked: “I was looking in the library, and I couldn’t find one book. Do we have a copy of Tanya here?” The rabbi became pale and answered: “No, we don’t have that book. Look, I have to talk to you”. And he proceeded to explain to her all the dangers of learning Tanya and Chassidus. The girl later said: “Nothing made me more interested and motivated in learning Chassidus than that rabbi explaining its ‘dangers’.”

Anyway, so that day, Tzemach Tzedek went through the garden. On a bench was sitting one of the most prominent appikorsim of the time. He was one of the most dangerous appikorsim, because he was very learned in Torah. At the same time, he was not a bully, but a refined person. With tears streaming down his cheeks, Tzemach Tzedek approached him and said: “The Rebbe [Rabbeinu HaKadosh] said: ‘In one hour, a man can acquire for himself the World-to-Come.’ Vote with us today.” And on that day, the man supported Tzemach Tzedek and Reb Itzhe Volozhiner.

When Tzemach Tzedek came from that conference together with his son Maharil, the latter, having seen the mesirus nefesh that Tzemach Tzedek showed for chinuch (he had been arrested twenty two times total), went to his mother and said: “I have a new Rebbe” (meaning, he recognized Tzemach Tzedek as his Rebbe).

Somebody in the audience asked a question, which I couldn’t hear well, but I can guess its contents. What do you mean, he only now recognized Tzemach Tzedek as a Rebbe? Even assuming that he had been a chossid of Mitteler Rebbe, so what? Mitteler Rebbe was nistalek, there is a new Rebbe (and not just anybody, but Tzemach Tzedek!), who, furthermore, is his father — what’s the question?

Rabbi Paltiel answered: Rebbeship is not about politics. It’s not about family. It’s an inyan in avoidas Hashem. People who don’t take the chossid–Rebbe relationship seriously can switch Rebbeim easily too. But Maharil took the fact that he was a chossid of Mitteler Rebbe very seriously. Furthermore, Tzemach Tzedek and Mitteler Rebbe were very different Rebbeim. So, it was very difficult for the Maharil to “switch”.

To me it is also interesting that the Maharil switched not because he recognized Tzemach Tzedek’s awesome greatness in nigleh and nistar, but because of Tzemach Tzedek’s mesirus nefesh for chinuch.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Washing off klipah

We are used to thinking about mitzvos as bringing something “into” this world from the upper worlds (we, meaning, the people who learn Chassidus and Kabbalah). This is the so-called male way of looking at mitzvos: bringing something from the outside, correcting, changing, influencing, conquering. If you look at the stereotypical male mitzva, tefillin, this point of view is evident in it: tefillin binds heart to the mind. On the other hand, if you look at the stereotypical female mitzva, lighting Shabbos candles, it doesn’t really bind or change anything; it merely adds more light, to reveal what’s already there.

So, what is this alternative female point of view of looking at the mitzvos?

In one ma’amor, Rebbe Maharash states that the Essence of G-d is not present in the Upper Worlds. Because the Upper Worlds are the worlds of truth, the worlds of revelation (oilamim ho’emes v’gilui), had the Essence been present there, it would be b’gilui, in a state of revelation, and thereby would nullify the worlds’ existence. That is why only Hashem’s Light is present in the Upper Worlds.

In our, physical world, this worry does not exist. Because it’s Oilam HoSheker v’Hester (the World of Lies and Concealment), there is no danger that the truth of the existence of Essence will be revealed. As a result, Hashem’s Essence can safely be present in this world. This is similar to how the angel concealed himself from Bilam, but not from the donkey, because the latter didn’t really understand what it was seeing, and therefore, it was safe for it to gaze at the angel, while had Bilam seen the angel, he would flip out.

Furthermore, it is explained in Chassidus that this world is “the last in creation, but first in thought”, and that “the end is bound in the beginning” (there is another application of this adage vis-a-vis the connection of Malchus and Kesser). Despite creating the Upper Worlds first, Hashem really desires the dwelling in this Lower World. There is an intrinsic connection between Hashem’s Essence and the physical nature of this world, because both the Essence and the physical share an important characteristic: metziusoi m’atzmusoi — “its existence is from itself”. While we call the Light of Hashem Ein Soif, “Without End”, Hashem’s Essence is called Ein Tchillo, “Without Beginning”. Although, of course, the appearance of this world being a source of itself is an illusion, the fact that such an illusion can even exist comes from the fact that Hashem’s Essence is directly invested and linked with the physical of this world.

So, what exactly do the mitzvos accomplish? The traditional image of the mitzvos in Kabbala is that of channels between the Upper Worlds, in particular, the world of Atzilus, and our world. Whenever someone does a mitzva, he opens up a channel between himself and the Body of the King in Atzilus, and through this channel, some of Hashem’s Light enters this world. For now it is in a form of concealment, but when Moshiach comes, it is this Light which will revealed.

But what’s the point, if the Essence of Hashem is here anyway?

I think maybe the answer is that every time we open up a channel, we are bringing in a shtikel gilui into this world. It’s not like we are adding anything new; we are revealing something about this world: the fact that Hashem’s Essence is already here. Since this world is a world of lies, we need a little ray of light to wash off the klipah that conceals the truth.

I think the nafka minah of this “female” way of thinking is that we do not see the world as inherently evil unless proven good; we do not see other Jews (including those who do not keep mitzvos) as inherently devoid of G-dliness, unless already engaged in Torah and mitzvos. In reality, it’s the opposite: we see the world as already inherently good; the only thing required from us is to reveal that.

I heard one time an explanation from my rabbi about the concept of tefillin campaign. What’s the point of putting on tefillin on someone who is not religious?

In Chumash we find a well known argument between Moshe Rabbeinu and Betzalel. Moshe Rabbeinu said that first the vessels and Menoira for the Mishkan need to be constructed and then the walls of the Mishkan, while Betzalel answered: “First one builds the walls of a building and then builds the furniture to bring inside”. Moshe Rabbeinu asked Hashem what to do, and Hashem agreed with Betzalel.

The explanation is: Moshe Rabbeinu wanted that his people be Jews internally first, and then the external should follow. Being ish ho’emes, a man of truth, Moshe Rabbeinu saw the reality in idealistic, maximalistic light. Betzalel, on the other hand, saw the reality in pragmatic light: it may be too difficult for most people to demand an internal change before the external one. Fake it until you make it.

So, this might be one explanation of putting on tefillin on non-religious people: yes, they are not religious, but if you force the external appearance a few times, it will result in some kind of internal change eventually.

But what about meeting someone on a street and putting on tefillin on him, considering you don’t know if you will ever meet him again? What about putting on tefillin on a dying person, chv"sh? (Something a local shliach has had an opportunity to do.) Imagine a situation when you have to bring a beggar from the street into court to be a witness. He is washed up and dressed in a suit. He looks like a respectable gentleman. But in reality, he is still a beggar; he is just dressed as a gentleman. You need years of living in the external environment of a gentleman for your internal environment to change accordingly.

This is where the above “female” approach should be applied. A Jew who does not keep mitzvos is not a beggar. He is a gentleman who is pretending to be a beggar. Every Jew has Essence of G-d inside him, and he can never be separated from the Essence. So, when you put tefillin on him, you’re not putting on gentleman’s clothes on a beggar, you’re putting on gentleman’s clothes on a gentleman who was pretending to be a beggar. Puttin on tefillin even once does not force a new reality on a Jew; it reveals an already existing, inviolable, unchangeable reality of who he is.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A couple stories from Rabbi Yossi Paltiel’s shiur on Mem Gimmel, Reb Brachya.

Baal Shem Tov once received a letter from the previous Baal Shem, which is amongst the letters found in Genizas Cherson. He wrote to him that recently, his teacher, Achiya HaShiloini (who was also the teacher of Baal Shem Tov and Eliyahu HaNovi), told him to get into a carriage. They got in, and the carriage started driving. AHS told him that “If you knew who was driving this carriage, you would sit with a greater derech eretz”.

They arrived in some town and walked into an empty building. Baal Shem sat down, and his teacher was pacing the room. Pacing, pacing, pacing. Rabbi Paltiel says, it must have been an unbelievable sight: a neshama from 3000 years ago, pacing back and forth in the room. Suddenly, another carriage pulled in, and there was a knock on the door. AHS opened the door, and a tall man with large forhead and great hadras ponim walked in. AHS said with great respect: “Sholom Aleichem, please come sit down”. The man answered: “Where I come from, there is no concept of sitting. I will stand. What is this that my Yisroelik tells me that you will not teach him anymore if he doesn’t reveal himself?” AHS answered: “That’s right.”

They argued for a while, and then the man walked out and left.

“Pasach Reb Brachya,” says Rebbe Rashab in the ma’amor, “and taught: In the upper world, angels only stand, and malach Michoel offers neshamos at the misbeach. And yet, Hashem prefers the beams of the Sanctuary standing upright to the angels and animals offered in the physical Beis HaMikdosh to the neshamos offered in the Upper Worlds.” Why? Because His Essence is linked to this world.

When the Rebbe was a young man, he was quite studious. His brother, Reb Leibel, was equally brilliant, but more outgoing. Oftentimes, he would offer the Rebbe a chance to go somewhere and participate in a mitzva, and the Rebbe refused, saying he had to learn. Only two times did he leave his studies: once, when during the World War I, Jewish refugees came to Yekatirinoslav, and the rav’s family offered them food, clothes and shelter, and again, when there was an epidemic of typhus in the city. When people got typhus, they would be brought to quarantine, where they would be left to either die or recover. Those taking care of them would come and wipe off the film that formed on the patients’ tongues overnight.

This is what the Rebbe did (he was about 19 years old at the time). And it happened so that he contacted typhus (this was when he started losing hair). He was lying in his family’s house and was at times delirious. He was lying in fever and whispering something. And the Rebbetzin Chana, when she came to New York, said one time that if someone leaned over and listened, he could hear that the Rebbe was whispering how bright the Upper Worlds were, and how their brightness was not comparable to a Jew doing a single mitzva in this world.

Following threads

In the last post about Chassidus, I promised to post the reason that Tzemach Tzedek gave for the increasing number of chumros with passage of itme. A chossid of his once told him that he was troubled by later generations instituting stringencies regarding consuming certain things that earlier generations seemed to be ok with. An example of this today would be the stringency not to eat strawberries, which a number of rabbonim instituted (and with which major Lubavitch poskim of today agreed), while, as some say, “strawberries were served at Dovid HaMelech’s table”.

So, the chossid was troubled. What does this mean? Did the earlier generations commit aveiros, chv"sh?

Tzemach Tzedek explained that we are sent into this world to make it a dwelling for G-d it by uniting it with G-dliness through the mitzvos given to us which we use to manipulate the material matter (e.g., eat kosher meat; make parchment for mezuza, tefillin or Seifer Torah out of cow skin; light wax or parafine candles for Shabbos, use wool to make tzitzis, etc., etc.). When we do the mitzvos, they activate the “sparks” of holiness present in all matter.

Those things in which the sparks are accessible are kosher. Those in which sparks are not accessible and thus cannot be elevated are treif. To identify which things are kosher and which are treif, we are given signs (e.g., the simanim of kosher animals). The problem is, however, that in earlier generations Jews were able to elevate sparks more freely than in the later generations. That is why, finished Tzemach Tzedek, the number of chumros increased to safeguard the Jews from consuming such products and in such circumstances in which Jews would be unable to elevate the sparks in these products (making consuming them, from spiritual perspective, not too different from consuming the opposite of kosher, chv"sh).

* * *

Then there is a similar story of the Maggid not eating in the house of Baal Shem Tov. How could this be: a chossid not eating in his Rebbe's house? The answer is that Baal Shem Tov followed a more meikel shitta on shechita of meat (or some aspect of its preparation), since he was able to elevate the sparks in a meat prepared according to this shitta, while the Maggid was not on such a level of holiness.

Letter to a Roman friend

Elaine blath, Feainnewedd
Dearme aen a’caelme tedd
Eigean evelienn deireadh
Que’n esse, va en esseath
Feainnewedd, elaine blath!
(Elven nursery rhyme, from Blood of Elves by Sapkowski)

Censored by yours truly. Translated from Russian.

I’m sending to you, Postum-friend, some reading.
How’s the capital? Soft bed and rude awakening?
How’s Caesar? What’s he doing? Still intriguing?
Still intriguing, I imagine, and engorging.

In my garden, I am sitting with a night-light
No maid nor mate, not even a companion,
But instead of weak and mighty of this planet,
Buzzing pests in their unanimous dominion.

Here was laid away an Asian merchant. Clever
Merchant was he — very diligent yet decent.
He died suddenly — malaria. To barter
Business did he come, and surely not for this one.

Next to him — a legionnaire under a quartz grave.
In the battles he brought fame to the Empire.
Many times could been killed! Yet died an old brave.
Even here, there is no ordinance, my dear.

Maybe, chickens really aren’t birds, my Postum,
Yet a chicken brain should rather take precautions.
An empire, if you happened to be born to,
Better live in distant province, by the ocean.

Far away from Caesar and from tempests.
No need to cringe, to rush or to be fearful.
You are saying all procurators are looters,
But I’d rather choose a looter than a slayer.

Here, we’ve covered more than half of our life span
As an old slave, by the tavern, has just said it:
«Turning back, we look, but only see old ruins».
Surely, his view is barbaric, but yet candid.

Been to hills and now busy with some flowers.
Have to find a pitcher and to pour them water.
How’s in Libya, my Postum, or wherever?
Is it possible that we are still at war there?

Do come here, we’ll have a drink with bread and olives —
Or with plums. You’ll tell me news about the nation.
In the garden you will sleep under clear heavens,
And I’ll tell you how they name the constellations.

Postum, friend of yours once tendered to addition,
Soon shall reimburse deduction, his old duty…
Take the savings, which you’ll find under my cushion.
Haven’t got much, but for funeral — it’s plenty.

Laurel’s leaves so green — it makes your body shudder.
Wide ajar the door — a tiny window’s dusty —
Long deserted bed — an armchair is abandoned —
Noontime sun has been absorbed by the upholstery.

With the wind, by sea point cape, a boat is wrestling.
Roars the gulf behind the black fence of the pine trees.
On the old and wind-cracked bench — Pliny the Elder.
And a thrush is chirping in the mane of cypress.

(Joseph Brodsky)

Intolerance at its height

(Three Weeks–friendly.)

Kobayashi vs. the bear vs. NYPD

“Look how skinny Kobayashi is, and look at the size of the bear!”

I think our glorious police did not take well to the member of their own species (although it’s not clear how much the sapiens part applies to policemen) losing to a member of Ursidae family and decided to arrest the “Japanese eating machine”.

“I can eat fifty hotdogs in twelve minutes. It is like running one hundred meters in nine seconds.” I would be interested to take a look at his conversion formula.

“It has been called degrading, disgusting, and a sign of societal decay, but Kobayashi calls it a sport.” Well, and what do you call organized sport?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Maharal vs. Chabad?

OK, the content is not as provocative as the title.

I heard yesterday that according to Maharal, the most important mitzvos are the positive commandments, because they are the ones that actually transform the world into G-dliness. They actually accomplish something positive. The negative commandments are also important, of course, but their purpose is to keep us pure; they don’t actually positively improve the world (I am possibly butchering what I was told and what Maharal said himself, but that is the basic idea).

Upon hearing that, I thought that this contradicted what Chabad Chassidus seems to say. As a result, I am reposting the following (with the nasty parts taken out after being called a hater for including them l’hatchillo).

Recently, I heard a question: “What do you think is the biggest problem with Judaism today?” One of the answers was: “That in recent times [last few centuries], Judaism has become much more chumra-oriented than before.”

I have no idea what my opinion is on the matter. Yes, maybe that this is the trend. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it just appropriate? I have no idea. Certainly, to me there seems to be a problem in approaching everything in Judaism and our lives from chumra perspective. Certainly, to me there seems to be a (possibly even bigger) problem in doing whatever you want in life, and then making sure, b’dieved, that you haven’t violated Halacha. If barely...

(Also, I have read somewhere of a question which was asked to Tzemach Tzedek by a chossid who was troubled by the chumros instituted by the achroinim — does the fact that rishoinim did not adhere to these chumros mean that they were violating Torah? Tzemach Tzedek explained why the later generations were given more chumros than the earlier ones. When I find the exact answer, I will post it.)

I was listening to something today, however, which made me think about this question. Rabbi Paltiel was discussing in a shiur (third one) on the ma’amor “V’yishlach” (from hemshech Samech Vov) the idea of getting to Atzmus Eloikus, the Essence of G-dliness. Why, he said, can we not get to it? Because we are trying too hard. Every time we are trying to get somewhere or get something, we are only able to grasp some level of gilui, revelation. Atzmus cannot be b’gilui. Essence cannot be revealed. So, the harder you try, the more elusive it becomes. You will get to some level of G-dliness through a positive effort, but not the Essence.

So, how can you get to it? Through mitzvos loi ta’aseh, negative commandements forbidding us to do certain things. Because by following them, one is not actively doing something, reaching somewhere, but in fact he is just staying away from something. But — for the purpose of Hashem. (This, says, Rabbi Paltiel, is the difference between a Jew not trying to get to G-d and a sinner, or a cow, not trying to get to G-d.)

As an illustration of the idea, Rabbi Paltiel tells a story. After the passing of the Rebbetzin Nechama Dina, the Rebbe’s brother-in-law, Rashag, wanted the Rebbe to have a seider together with him. The Rebbe answered: “On Peisach I sit by myself.” So, Rashag asked him again several times and then sent a shliach: a chossid of the Rebbe, Rabbi Simson, who was older both than the Rebbe and the Rashag, and was a deep person. Rabbi Simson could not say “no” to Rashag, but could not ask the Rebbe to do something that the Rebbe didn’t want to do. So, he walked in into the Rebbe’s office, stood there without saying anything, and walked out.

Later, at the end of Adar, Rashag asked the Rebbe again about his plans for the seider. The Rebbe answered: “As I said, on Peisach I sit alone.” Rashag asked him if he talked to Rabbi Simpson. The Rebbe answered: “Yeah. He was here and stood silently. And his silence spoke.”

The other story is about something that happened to a very holy and deep Jew during the War of Independence in Israel. There were snipers everywhere, and it was impossible to go out. There was no food, and the man said he would go out to get the bread for his little daughter. His wife said: “You can’t go. They will shoot you.” The Jew answered: “I will go. I will not see them; they will not see me.” He went, got the bread and came back. How? Was he invisible? No, if a camera took a picture of the street, it would capture the man’s image. It’s just that he didn’t care about the world, and he made the world not care about him.

Hashem is not hiding. He is just not seen. Because we keep looking. But when a Jew does a mitzva loi ta’seh, he does something for Eibeshter, but he is not looking for Him. And thereby he reaches Hashem’s Essence.

* * *

This all reminded me, lehavdil, of this master class, in which András Schiff says: “Silence is the most beautiful thing in music.” Which is reminiscent of, lehavdil, the message of the later chapters of Alter Rebbe’s Sha’ar HaYichud ve’ha’Emunoh (second book of Tanya), in which he explains that concealment of G-dly Light comes as much from G-d as the revelation of the Light. In fact, when the G-d reveals His Light, that’s not a big deal. That’s status quo. C’est normal, as the French say. When G-d conceals the Light — now, that’s a sign that takeh der Eibeshter is involved. Which is a very encouraging idea for us, when in our lives something negative happens, G-d forbid.

My pianist friend says: when some musicians play, silence is the most beautiful part of their music... :)


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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Bookish - Helper and Helper

I was recently sent the gorgeous Helper and Helper from Gecko Press. With Joy Cowley as the author and Gavin Bishop as the illustrator I was really excited to receive this offering.

The book functions a little like Aesop's fables in that it is a series of short stories that invite a little 'moral' in each. The 'morals' aren't stated in the stories it is more that the reader is invited to learn what Snake and Lizard are discovering in their own experiences and relationship.

Each story stands alone but they also unfold and build on each other throughout the book.

Snake and Lizard are 'helpers' they help other animals to solve their dilemmas for a payment. Meanwhile their own relationship is sometimes fraught with the things that beset many close friendships - sharing credit, personality types and eating family members for instance!

The stories are lovely - Bounce (8) read them and loved them and talked to me about them while I was reading it. The stories have an absolutely timeless charm and would also perform well as read aloud and talk about stories. Bishop's illustrations are a lovely accompaniment to them have the same timeless feel as the text.

A beautiful book simply bursting with nuggets of wisdom.

Details - Helper and Helper by Joy Cowley Gecko Press, 2017 $22.99 PB

love you more than Aunty Lizard 49 xxx

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Last Pages of My Sunny Day Album

Here are pictures of the last five, 6" x 6", 2-page layouts for my Sunny Day Album. I've also included a picture of the album it's in. This complete scrapbook album can be made (including the Polka Dot Album pictured below) at my upcoming National Scrapbooking Month class, called "Scrapbook Album in an Evening." To find out more, please go to my EVENTS CALENDAR.

Scrapbook Album

Pages 10 & 11

Pages 12 & 13

Pages 14 & 15

Pages 16 & 17

Pages 18 & 19

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video life //

music // flight facilities-crave you (adventure club dubstep remix)

last weekend we headed south to visit family and to pick up S2 (they've been with my mom since june).   this is a quick video of our trip south and time spent with family. it is funny how as a child growing up in a small rural area you can't wait to leave but now as an adult  I love going back.  it's absolutely beautiful, I love how almost everything is the same and peaceful.   I love that S2 get to experience it too with us and go to places that I was fond of as a child. look at miss ruby, she is such a wonderful traveler, from day one. she loves to go wherever we go, ride or die pup. :)

ps. it seems like they grew so much while they were there,  saadiq is already taller than me and synai isn't far behind!

  1. LOVE!!!! Is Saadiq like 6'2? He does look HUGE! And little sweet Synai and her smile, makes my heart melt! Sometime when we meet up we'll need to do it as families! You're still coming out in October, yeah?

  2. I loved this! Looks like a great place to spend the summer. Your kids are so cute! S1 is looking more and more like a grown man everytime you post.

    1. i know he will be 13 in a few MONTHS!!! xo

  3. Anonymous5:11 PM

    OMG! Your son has gotten soooo big! And that puppy of yours is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

thanks for stopping by and leaving a note behind*


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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Green Tomato Mincemeat to Can

With all the green tomatoes that I picked off my plants a week or so ago I went ahead and made up some mincemeat to can.  Unfortunately it doesn't use up as many tomatoes as I'd like, but the rest of them I've put into paper bags to ripen them up and then can those just as tomatoes.

Green Tomato Mincemeat

6 c. chopped apples, seeded
4 c. chopped green tomatoes
5 c. raisins
3 c. sugar
1/2 c. vinegar or lemon juice
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. salt

Boil all together until cooked through (it will be brown).
I cooked mine about 1 hr.

Ladle into hot, clean jars.
Hot water bath for 25 minutes.

  • This recipe makes 6 pints.
  • This time around I canned it in 1/2 pints because that is the amount I need for my Mincemeat cookie recipe.  Thanks, Tiffany, for that heads up.
  • 2x recipe need 1 - 5# bag of apples.
  • Raisins -- a 24 oz. bag = 4 1/2 c.

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Credit portal

How do you raise your credit score

how do you raise your credit score

4 ways to raise your credit score in 2015 U.S.News & World Report Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Abby Hayes

When you're writing out your New Year's resolutions this year, why not add "improve my credit score" to your list? Boosting your credit score can have positive effects -- including getting you better rates on future credit, helping you buy a home or car, and even making you a more competitive job candidate.

While erasing major credit blunders -- such as a foreclosure or collections account -- can take years, you can still take some relatively simple steps to boost your credit score. Some of these steps will have a larger effect than others, but by following a combination of these steps in 2015, you could increase your credit score by 100 points or more.

Start by pulling a recent copy of your credit report at, and then make plans to complete these four steps in the new year:

1. Payoff past due accounts.

The bulk of your credit score -- about 35 percent -- comes from your payment history. The more often you make payments on time, the better your score will be.

So start by checking your credit report for past due accounts. If you have several past due accounts, it's time to triage.

Accounts that are 90 days late will have a bigger negative impact on your score than those that are 60 or 30 days late. So pay off the most past-due accounts first, and gradually catch up on all your payments.

2. Ask for good faith adjustments.

When you look at your credit report you may see just one or two late payments. Maybe these payments were late because of an oversight or because of a one-time financial problem that has since been resolved.

In this situation, you might get an automatic boost to your credit score by asking for a "good faith adjustment." Call or write to the creditor, and ask for a courtesy adjustment. If you've been a good customer and only have one or two late payments on your account, many creditors will remove the late payment from your credit report.

3. Deal with collection accounts, charge-offs and liens.

Accounts that have been charged off or sent to collections have a negative impact on your credit score. and you need to be

careful how you deal with them.

Paying charge-offs or liens that are older than 24 months won't boost your credit score. Address charge-off accounts that are less than 24 months old first, then pay the others when you have the funds to do so.

Pay off collections accounts as well, but be aware that paying off collections accounts can, at first, cause your credit score to drop. That's because when you make a payment, the last activity on the account becomes more recent, making it weigh more negatively in your credit file.

The best way to avoid this problem is to ask the collector to erase the account from your credit file when you pay it off. Many collections agencies will delete reporting when you've paid off the account. If the agency agrees to this, be sure to ask for a letter stating that the agency agreed to delete the account upon receipt of your payment.

4. Improve your debt-to-credit ratio.

Another factor used to calculate your credit score is amounts owed. Amounts owed isn't about the actual dollar amount you owe but your debt-to-credit ratio -- how much money you owe versus how much credit you have available.

There are several ways to improve your debt-to-credit ratio, which is probably the fastest way to improve your credit score. Here are a few to try:

-- Ask for a credit increase. This improves your debt-to-credit ratio without paying an extra dime on your outstanding debt.

-- Move credit card balances. Keep your debt at or below 30 percent of your credit limit on each credit card. One way to do this is to simply move balances between cards, even if it means opening a new card. (Plus, you might be able to take advantage of balance transfer promotions .)

-- Pay down revolving debt first. Your credit score will reward you somewhat for paying down installment loans, but you'll get the most bang for your buck when you pay down revolving debt like credit cards and lines of credit.

-- Transfer debt to a personal installment loan. Consolidate all your credit card debt under a personal installment loan.

Abby Hayes is a freelance blogger and journalist who writes for personal finance blog The Dough Roller and contributes to Dough Roller's weekly newsletter .

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Category: Credit

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Credit portal

what is certificate of destruction

Liquid Technology Provides a Data Destruction Certificate With Every Software Wipe

Many of today's asset management companies offer their clients certificates of data destruction as proof of the quality of their services, but what many clients might not know is that the industry currently has no such certifying authority. Unbeknownst to these clients, the paper data destruction certificates that are provided by many of these companies are not considered irrefutable evidence that the proper data destruction methods were followed. In truth, only a digital data sanitation report offers the client the auditable proof they need to confirm complete compliance with the government's guidelines on secure data destruction.

What is a Digital Certificate of Data Destruction?

A digital data destruction certificate is only produced once an intensive software data wiping process has been completed. The software automatically tracks and records the data destruction process where upon completion of the job it compiles the information in a PDF file for the client's records.

The information contained on the certificate verifies that DOD-certified data destruction was performed and should include:

  • Report ID
  • Client name
  • Brand and model of equipment being used
  • Equipment serial number
  • RAM
  • HDD Size
  • Model and serial numbers for the HDDs
  • Disk sanitizing method
  • Number of passes performed
  • Number of bad sectors

Unlike a paper printout of the data destruction results, a digital certificate of data destruction is backed by the legal documents behind the data destruction contract and therefore it is completely auditable.

Which Data Destruction Processes Produce a Certificate?

A digital data destruction certificate is only produced when the data is destroyed using accountable disk wiping software. Physical destruction of hard drives, either via degaussing or shredding. does not produce a certificate for the client. In these situations, a reputable data destruction company will provide the client with a DVD video of their equipment being destroyed. These recordings will typically show each individual hard drive as it is being physically destroyed so the client will know that their equipment was rendered completely unusable.

To learn more about Liquid Technology's digital data destruction certification, call us toll-free at 1.800.797.5478 or just fill out the free quote form to the right of this page and a data destruction specialist will contact you promptly.

Category: Insurance

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Thursday, May 31, 2007

It all begins with one (the first)

Welcome to the blog chronicling the lives, travels, and activities of the Criddlets, better known as Crysytal and Jon. Here we are to the right. If more help is needed, Crystal is the pretty one.

Here we will be able to give family a better view into our lives and we can tell of all (there's really not much to tell right now) that is going on in our we can use pictures!

Crystal is working as a consultant for Brigham Young University Take-out Catering, and Jonathan is working full-time right now installing carpet for the same university. If all goes according to plan, Jonathan will begin either the Accounting or Information Systems programs this Fall and Crystal will move on to a full-time career-job with benefits. Go benefits. Well, that's just about as good an introduction as we can give for now. Plus I'll let Crystal write more details later. Until next time, so long for now!

bethany said...

Hooray for blogs!! Now I am just waiting for Jeff and Vanessa to get on the bandwagon!

Anonymous said...

Well aren't you guys cute.
And both of you are "Being Awesome".
(now is where you picture me making an L on my forehead with my index and my thumb)
Just kidding...:)
See ya.
Oh yeah, this blog is anonymous for a reason.

Jon said...

Heck yes hooray for blogs. We'll team up with this fabled "marco" and convince j and v to hop on. Unfortunately we won't be nearly as cute or interesting as jakson, but we'll give it our best

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your new job Crystal!

Crystal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crystal said...

hey... polo- you posted on the wrong one! ;-) it doesn't matter. Thanks though! We're excited. i miss yal super bad. how are the kittens?


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Mar 18

‘Taking the Fifth’ Before Congress: A New Ethics Twist

It’s unethical for a prosecutor to put a witness on the stand in a criminal trial when he or she knows in advance that the witness is going to take the Fifth Amendment and refuse to testify at all.

Legal ethics authorities reason that the only effect of that kind of testimony is not to bring out relevant evidence but simply to prejudice the jury against the witness. After all, the jury would conclude, if the witness didn’t have something to hide, why did he or she take the Fifth? It’s a violation of the witness’s constitutional rights to permit that kind of inference to be made by a jury.

What about testimony before a congressional committee? Can a lawyer for a committee haul a witness before the panel, knowing that the witness will claim the Fifth Amendment?

In Washington, D.C., where congressional probes often go on at the same time as parallel criminal prosecutions, that can be a key question.

The Legal Ethics Committee of the D.C. Bar has issued an opinion that opens the door considerably wider than before for congressional staff lawyers to do this.

In an opinion issued in January, the committee wrote that an earlier opinion on the subject that it wrote in 1977 should be interpreted in a limited manner. At that time, it wrote that it is improper to call a witness to a congressional hearing “when it is known in advance that no information will be obtained and the sole effect of the summons will be to pillory the witness.”

The new opinion makes it clear that “there may be legitimate reasons for a congressional committee to summon a witness who expresses an intention to assert her privilege against self-incrimination.” Thus, the bar committee found that the Rules of Professional Conduct are violated only if “there is no substantial purpose in calling a witness other than embarrassment, burden, or delay.”

There’s no blanket rule that this type of testimony is prohibited; it is unethical, the committee wrote, only when summoning the witness “will provide no information to the committee and (2) is intended merely to degrade a witness.”

Since a congressional committee lawyer can almost always think of some reason to call a witness other than embarrassment, burden, or delay, the new opinion makes it significantly more likely that congressional panels will try to take this step. We suggest that defense lawyers need to be aware of this tactic. If it won’t necessarily convict their client in court, it can go a long way towards convicting the client in the court of public opinion.

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About Ifrah Law

Crime in the Suites is authored by the Ifrah Law Firm, a Washington DC-based law firm specializing in the defense of government investigations and litigation. Our client base spans many regulated industries, particularly e-business, e-commerce, government contracts, gaming and healthcare.

Ifrah Law focuses on federal criminal defense, government contract defense and procurement, health care, and financial services litigation and fraud defense. Further, the firm's E-Commerce attorneys and internet marketing attorneys are leaders in internet advertising, data privacy, online fraud and abuse law, iGaming law.

The commentary and cases included in this blog are contributed by founding partner Jeff Ifrah, partners Michelle Cohen and George Calhoun, counsels Jeff Hamlin and Drew Barnholtz, and associates Rachel Hirsch, Nicole Kardell, Steven Eichorn, David Yellin, and Jessica Feil. These posts are edited by Jeff Ifrah. We look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments!

Visit the Ifrah Law Firm website


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Power supply unit PSU Troubleshooting Tips

Sunday, July 24, 2011 Posted by Aman Jain

The PC powers on after the second or third try

The mostly likely problem is that the power_ok (or power_good) signal is sent before the power supply has stabilised. Get a better quality PSU.

In modern PCs, the power switch is a logic device that tells the PSU to supply full power to the motherboard. The power_ok signal tells the motherboard that the power supply is available and stable.

If the signal is sent too soon the motherboard does not recognize it and stays off to protect itself. This can happen in lowerquality PSUs. Booting more than once is not recommended, and you will be better off getting a better PSU.
The PC powers on but nothing happens after that (no beep)
1. This may be due to the addition of new hardware that is overtaxing the power supply. Remove the last hardware component installed and check again.
2. A defective hard disk or one that is not plugged in correctly: Check the power cable to the hard disk. Sometimes it may not be fully plugged in. Check the hard disk on another system.

The PC powers on, beeps and stops. No Power On Self Test (POST) messages.
This may be a motherboard problem and not related to the PSU.

The PC powers on and runs POST but there is no display
This may be a display card problem and not related to the PSU. Check the display section of this guide.

There is a squealing/whistling/whining noise when the PC starts
This could indicate either a problem with the fan, which has accumulated dirt over time, or one of the internal components of the PSU. Switch on the PC and listen carefully to confirm that it’s the PSU fan and not the CPU fan or the hard disk.

Usually, the noise will stop once the fan picks up speed, and you can ignore it temporarily. It’s a good idea, however, to clean out the dirt around the PSU fan using a PC vacuum.

This will increase the working life of the PSU fan as well as the PSU itself. If the fan stops working, the PSU will generate heat and cause more trouble.

So a little prevention will save you a lot of headaches later. If the sound is not from the fan but from within the PSU itself, then you may be able to service it.

A PSU has no ‘user-serviceable’ parts, and it’s best left to a competent technician, although in most cases of component failure, you will have to replace the PSU.

The PC freezes or reboots suddenly
1. This could indicate a failing PSU that is not supplying power correctly to the motherboard. You may be able to get the PSU serviced but in most cases you will be better off getting a new power supply.
2. This could be due to overheating of the PSU or CPU: If the PSU is overheating, the metal cabinet may be hot to touch or you might get a shock. Shut off immediately. Check if the PSU fan is working, clean or replace the fan if not working or spinning very slowly. If it’s a faulty PSU you may be able to service it. If the PSU seems normal it might be due to an overheating CPU.

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Crossett Real Estate Services
Property Management

Property Management

Maintenance of adequate system of accounts

Orderly presentation of detailed monthly activities (Income & Expenditures)

Relieve Owner of most details incident to Ownership

Determining and evaluating risk and the most economical protection available in the insurance market, keeping accurate records of policies/arrange renewals in advance keep fire insurance to a minimum by elimination of fire hazards

Maximize rate of return-maintain leverage-adapt the property as a business-balance cash flow against preservation of the value of the property (Keep net operating income high)

Good property Management demands a thorough knowledge of building service and maintenance requirements.

The interests of the Owner and those of the Tenants must be properly balanced: It is in the physical care of the property that the interest of the Owner and those of the Tenant merge: Giving the structure constant care and attention in order that the property may yield the highest possible net return over the life of the building: The Tenants are entitled to reasonable building service performance: Good service generally invites Tenant cooperation and stimulates building use rather than abuse:

Prompt attention to reasonable demands and complaints should be attended to in a timely manner, building good will for not only the Tenant, but the Property Owner, whose interests are @ stake:

Constant attention to heating systems/plumbing/electrical: defects/flaws and hazards in sidewalks/stairs/flooring: roofing OR anywhere in-attention may cause an accident: Preventative maintenance scheduling:

A written management agreement is essential in spelling out clearly the right and obligation o all parties: *the Management Agreement must never obligate the Manager beyond his/her ability, integrity and honesty OR beyond controllable circumstances for which insurance coverage is not readily available.*

A lease is a contract  between the landlord (lessor) and the tenant (lessee) in which the tenant agrees to pay a stipulated sum (rent) to the landlord for the use of the premises.  The effect of the lease upon the parties is twofold:  (1) it determines the legal rights and duties of one to the other, and (2) it serves as a basis for the tax treatment of both parties under the Internal Revenue Code.

Return to Property Management page

Return to Home page

These web pages were last updated 04/16/2000


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In Uncategorized

Necessity is the mother of invention. What about innovation? Is an innovation based on necessity, or on simply a desire to make something better? Or what about resources? Does limiting resources like raw materials, money, time or manpower drive innovation? Rodney came in the other day with a home-made sand bag… it’s actually called a Bulgarian Training Bag. It is an awesome tool for use at home in training and is definitely innovative… so much so, that I think we all owe Rodney a big shout out for finding and sharing a great training tool innovation like this! Below is the video he used to make his… We may make some for the gym – I’m not so sure how they would hold up with the rigorous pounding we put on our training equipment here!

Today’s Workout

Complete as many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of:
12 Front Squats (135/95)
250 Single Unders
– post rounds and total # of squats to comments

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Foreign Currency war,who will be the winner?

Written by Crouse Brunch
 The year 2007 is a wonderful year that china economy boosts increasingly-------stock markets and real estate got hotter and hotter. Those who suck in the capital markets gets much bonus .at that time, the people from home and abroad doubt if china economy will land stably .At the same time ,the Chinese main currency is under great pressure .on one hand ,its currency rate is nonstop increased ,on the other hand ,decrease on Euro. When confrontation between the two party gets into three,this long foreign currency war becomes more and more complex:the US dollar would have no choice to get out of the main role of main international currency.however ,the vibrant Chinese yuan still stays here,hold on weakness.thus Euro is forced to be No.1 international currency but cannot afford to the weight of currency due to the EU market's weak economic increase. In fact ,the war among US dollar ,Euro and Chinese yuan is a kinda that US ,EU,and China don't want to play the important role on foreign currency markets . Along with the US dollar devaluation , the global economy begins foreign currency rate .strong esteem US goverment request Chinese yuan to appreciation.Chinese goverment is under great pressure .but EU pros that US dolllar devaluate too much. So some people mayt reach a conclusion that the world is filled with protectionism: Foreign currency war ,who will be the biggest winner ? Facing the great international pressure ,China take its own measures .that is ,roundabout appreciation .nowadays ,the chinese foreign currency policy is towards flexible transitional phrase.. the few decades of bilateral trade demonstrate that the two parties benefit much more than we thought . We should notice the deep root reason why Euro increase devaluating .global imbalance of payments is the root cause . NFL jerseys


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I vote for…civic engagement

As we like to say at the Cal Ripken, Sr. Foundation, we harness sports as a vehicle to capture kids’ attention and provide a concrete way to teach them life’s lessons.  Right now, you can’t turn on a television or open up a social media site without being bombarded by news, opinions, and speculation about the men and women currently seeking public office.  Why not harness that?

Share your story to help kids choose their futures

Choosing the path that we want to take for our future can be difficult. There may be some obstacles or unexpected challenges that come in your way that may make you feel like quitting, but it is up to you whether you continue to strive for your goals. A strong work ethic and the decision of making positive choices gives us the ability to reach these goals that we set for ourselves. We can set both short and long-term goals that can help us accomplish our dreams.

Celebrate the Individual with the HCHC: Adaptive Sports Edition

One of the key principals of “The Ripken Way” is to celebrate the individual. When you work with kids, you quickly learn that each kid is different—each has their strengths and their weaknesses, and also their own way of playing and learning.  It’s up to you as a coach to reinforce their strengths and help them build skills and improve where they can.

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Charlie the Hamster plays Gospel Music

Floyd Robinson Charlie the Hamster plays Gospel Music LP (Singcord, 1975)

...and then there are times when a record is exactly what you expect. Welcome to the strange world of Charlie the Hamster. Perhaps the most demented Christian kid's record outside the Marcy albums, Charlie the Hamster Plays Gospel Music is the perfect mating of Christianity and absurdity. Sure, "Song Evangelist" Floyd Robinson has a reason he invented Charlie the Hamster. He believes that children need to know the Bible at an early age and Charlie, Stanley and Huey singing and playing gospel tunes is the way to do it. According to the liner notes, "thousands of children" have been turned on to God through these three hamsters and who am I to dispute that? I mean really, given the choice between the Absurdist Floyd Robinson and the Avenger Christian Push Button Warrior George W. Bush, I'll enlist in Charlie's Family any day of God's Good Week. Sure, Charlie is little more than a Holier Than Thou Alvin Chipmunk, but David Seville never used the sound of a seal getting squeezed as a rhythm track (just listen and you'll figure it out). And no Chipmunk record got as progressively whacked as these Hamsters do. It isn't often that a record sleeve this great delivers what it promises. And for only $5, who said Thou Shalt Not Steal?

I've got another record from Floyd/Charlie, "Charlie Goes To Sunday School". Total prize of my collection.
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Seabourn Odyssey: New Luxury Standards

The first in a new wave in luxury ships debuts this week in Venice. 6-24-09

Seabourn Cruise Line started out as a small and exclusive Norwegian line with he initial goal of creating almost yachtlike cruise ships for the upper crust. The line was partially purchased by Carnival in 1991 which also acquired Cunard in 1998. At that point, three Cunard vessels were transferred to the new company, two even smaller vessels named Sea Goddess I and II, and the former Royal Viking Sun, renamed Cunard Sun, and then Seabourn Sun. Now that Seabourn is wholly owned by Carnival Corporation, the line has been de-merged from Cunard and now operates independently again, rather pointedly referring to itself as The Yachts of Seabourn.

In the meantime - some of the ships were divested, selling the Sea Goddesses, and transferring the former Royal Viking Sun to Holland America to become the Prinsendam.

The line introduced the new, larger and upgraded version of its product, called Seabourn Odyssey on June 15, 2009. Built in Genoa, Italy, the ship carries 450 passengers in 225 suites, 90% with verandahs. There is a built-in Marina and an indoor/outdoor spa over 11,400 square feet - very large for a vessel of this size. There are four restaurants, six lounges and a large pool with a sundeck surrounded by cabanas.

A sister ship to Odyssey, to be named Seabourn Sojourn, debuted in June, 2010 with a third sister, Seabourn Quest, to follow in 2012.

Seabourn Odyssey and Sojourn are significantly larger than the three older, yachtlike vessels, but still well within the small size standards of luxury cruising at 32,000-tons (about the same size at Oceania or Silversea ships) and carrying 450 passengers. Seabourn called Odyssey the cruise industry's first ultra-luxury yacht to launch in six years. However other reporters who were invited on the debut of the ship characterized the vessel as being "too large to be called a yacht."

Some of the features of this state of the art luxury ship, as defined by Seabourn, include: iPods and laptops for loan, so you don't have to bring your own. A private diamond showroom called "The Collection" which is also a boutique for designer jewelry. Spa products from SkinCeuticals, not found on any other cruise line, and plant-based herbal remedies from Molton Brown.

The "Retreat at Sea" spa is a relaxing aft area with shuffleboard, a giant chess board and a contoured nine-hole mini-golf course. For more active guests there is a "Kinesis Wall" in the "Motion Studio," and invigorating Thai massage in the spa.

The smaller triplets, the three small ships of the Seabourn fleet that were built in the early 90s; Seabourn Spirit, Seabourn Pride and Seabourn Legend carry just but 208 passengers and contain only six suites with private verandas. As time went on and other luxury lines introduced all-suite (with balcony) ships, the line added "French balconies" to 44 of the standard suites onboard.

Although these French balconies are little more than sliding glass doors with a few inches of toe-hold outside, surprisingly, the option to open the window and get a breath of fresh air and plenty of sunlight is a vast improvement. Most people will not miss an actual balcony so much. The new nomenclature for this is a "Seabourn Balcony" Suite.

Seaboard's three smaller vessels carry 165 crewmembers to their 208 guests, one of the highest crew to passenger ratios at sea. During a 2006 dry-dock and interior refurbishment, the company installed DVD players and flat-screen televisions in all suites, and made improvements to the Veranda Cafe Lido dining area.

The Seabourn Experience: All cabins are on Seabourn are suites, each coming with a complimentary bottle of champagne to welcome you aboard. Inside are designer soaps by Bronnley, Chanel and Hermes, flat TVs with DVD players and Bose Wave sound systems, and aromatherapy bath products. And although the service and surroundings are elegant, the actual watchword for the passengers is still casual, as this is meant to be a vacation experience, with plenty of languid, free time to relax with a book, massage or nap. In fact, free neck & shoulder massages may be available on deck on any given sea day.

Count on dining at least once per voyage with the Captain, hotel manager and/or cruise director on the smaller yachts, each certain to have a charming European accent. You'll also be able to attend lectures by esteemed guest speakers on these ships, and shore excursions to private villas, savor collections of art and wine tastings, or avail yourself of an exemplary onboard enrichment program featuring the Chef's Circle culinary program.

Complimentary wines and spirits are offered throughout the entire ship, as too, for two hours per day, on deck, are mini-massages. Upgraded suite amenities are now standard on these vessels, which also award each passenger one complimentary shore event per cruise. These may include, depending on your destination, an outdoor folkloric dance performance in Nafplion, Greece; a visit to a private villa in Malta; or a glass-roofed canal boat ride in Amsterdam.

The smaller ships are able to visit relatively untouristed Caribbean ports that larger ships can't access. The downside being that shallow drafts mean rocky seas; the Yachts of Seabourn can get tossed around a lot more (and in calmer water) than larger vessels.

The new and larger ships definitely put a real wrinkle in the old Seabourn formula. When you increase a line's capacity from about 600 total to 1500 in the space of a year you obviously cannot draw only from the old clientele - you have to scare up new business. This is where the shorter cruises come in, and Seabourn says its average passenger age has dropped considerably. The challenge with such a drastic increase is in maintaining the line's quality of cuisine and personalized service when hiring all new personnel to staff the new tonnage.

Fellow Passengers Passengers used to be primarily 60 and over, and not very interested in pool games or deck parties. However, as the line has begun offering more 7-day itineraries making them more available to the younger still-working generation with little discretionary time but more discretionary income, the average age has skewed lower. Seabourn still has its generous single occupancy policy, but the gentlemen hosts programs have been eliminated.

In 2010 a quite controversial change in rthe onboard dress code was instituted all but eliminating mandatory formal dress. The formal nights have been eliminated on shorter seven-day journeys, one per 14-night journey and two per 21-day journey. Hardly worth packing a tux for one in 14 days, but there it is.By day, elegant casual dress is encouraged, though shorts are allowed in the Veranda Cafe during breakfast and lunch. The evening dress code is either formal or elegant casual - your choice.

Another controversial development, for regular Seabourn passengers, occured when the line announced it would be adding support services for guests traveling with children. Not exactly announcing a specific children's program, the line merely said it will offer staff members to keep the children occupied rather than having nothing at all scheduled for them to do - which means the parents have to watch over them 24-hours/day, a responsibility that sometimes gets overlooked once the parents get comfortable on the small ship and realize their children can't go far.

Some of the regulars saw this as an open message to new Seabourn passengers that "kids are welcome" on Seabourn ships. Seabourn characterizes it a different way - that if the new cruisers are going to bring kids, it is everyone's best iinterest to make sure these kids don't get bored and moody.

Shore Excursions: Tours are targeted to please their audience. In keeping with the desires of their recently acquired younger cruisers, a new slate of shore excursions includes a menu of active tours; cycling, hiking, rafting, zip-line canopy tours and even some canyoning tours in Europe. For the oldsters there are still wine-tasting and other culinary treats, as well as visits to private villas that, needless-to-say, would never accommodate a busload of Carnival passengers.

Taking The Kids: There are no facilities or counselors for them. If you bring them, you will have to watch them, or else bring your nanny.

Past Passenger Program: The "Seabourn Club" members now are offered savings of 50% on an array of cruises throughout the year. Those savings are also available to past guests of Holland America, Princess, Costa, or Cunard. Think of it as an opportunity to try an all-suite, small ship cruise at least once. You also get a 5% onboard booking savings if you book you next cruise on board.

Theme Cruises & Special Programs: Every cruise features the Dress Circle enrichment program presenting leading figures from history, geography, politics, television, journalism, music, theater, film, literature or culinary (including wine, of course).

Tipping: Gratuities are included in the fare. If you see an outstretched palm, give it five.

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Holland America Line Expands Shops with Exclusive Jewelry Boutique

Seattle, WA, August 30, 2008 – The latest in high-end designer jewelry soon will be found aboard all Holland America Line ships as part of a continuing and extensive Signature of Excellence initiative which represents an investment of more than $525 million.

Merabella, a high-end jewelry boutique with one-of-a-kind collections, was first added to ms Amsterdam in 2006 and has enjoyed tremendous success. The boutique will be its own, separate shop with an elegant atmosphere. Guests will enjoy a one-on-one shopping experience in a luxury salon with a knowledgeable staff member.

“Merabella is an intimate boutique created for a memorable and extremely personalized shopping experience,” said Richard D. Meadows, CTC, executive vice president, marketing, sales and guest programs. “Merabella boutiques are now aboard six of our ships. It’s been so well received that we recently made the decision to incorporate the boutique on seven more ships.”

The branded designer jewelry collections are selected for their beauty and timeless elegance. Jewelry collections include stunning designs from LeVian, Christopher Designs, Chimento, Genesis, Tara and Sons plus many more designers. The boutique will be added on board ships during scheduled dry docks beginning with the Veendam in spring 2009 and will be completed by late 2010.

This $200-million phase in the Signature of Excellence commitment brings the latest innovations at sea to Holland America Line’s ms Statendam, ms Maasdam, ms Ryndam, ms Veendam and ms Rotterdam. The first of the extensive dry-dock periods begins with the Veendam in spring 2009 and the last will be completed on the Maasdam in late 2010. While in dry dock, ships will expand the aft deck to create a new resort pool concept, The Retreat, and create a new bar concept called Mix that features separate areas – Martinis, Champagne and Spirits & Ales. Enhancements will be made to all existing staterooms and additional staterooms will be added to the ships. The ships will also introduce 46 innovative lanai staterooms with direct access to the Lower Promenade Deck. New spa staterooms near the Greenhouse Spa and Salon will offer special in-room spa amenities. Overall Holland America Line has committed $525 million to its Signature of Excellence program that redefines premium cruising.

For a cruise brochure or for more information, consult a professional travel agent, call 1-877-SAIL-HAL (877-724-5425) or visit www.hollandamerica.com.


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Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Photos from Crisis Antwerp

Back now from the excellent Crisis show in Antwerp last weekend. This really is one of the best shows around, and this year it seemed to be busier than ever. It was great to meet everyone, a big thanks to all of you who stopped by to say hello and especially to all at Tin Soldiers of Antwerp who work so hard to make the show so enjoyable.

As I have posted so many pictures of the game I only took a few this time, and here they are. Unlike other years we didn't go anywhere WW1 related on the way home as I had to get an earlier ferry!

And finally, as it is that time of year, let's all remember them...


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Saturday, 2 May 2015

Virus alert!

IMPORTANT - if you have received an email from me with a Whatsapp video attached to it PLEASE DO NOT OPEN IT as it's a virus! I've somehow got infected and it's sent out to all my contacts so please delete immediately!

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Picture a desk, at the front of a near-empty church, shoved into some industrial scrubland, ringed by the pasteboard houses and boxes slowly being sucked into the river, banks run over and spilling into the streets, the homeless now filling this near-empty church, the displaced now across the way at the plaza accepting their food bank meals and reassurances. Atop the desk there are deeply-thumbed books, an annotated and highlighted copy of the apocryphal The King In Yellow, handwritten excerpts from the Pnakotic Manuscripts, a copy of Hugo Vernier's The Winter Journey, a child's guide to the narcotic pollen which I had been sprinkling into my eyes before I wrote, a cardboard-bound copy of The Ghost of Dried Wells, Glanvil's classic Saducismus Triumphatus, my own hand-transcribed copy of The Infernal Salt Codex, and all that remained of my first story of any length, which consisted of only one line: "the only time you ever touched yourself was to cover your body from me." Farther back, amidst the pens and marbles and star-maps, there was my last unbroken Michael-jar, both lids sealed, keeping the fungus which grew along its walls, fed on sugars and water, sealed tightly inside. As the night went on, I would take the Michael-jar, remove the parrafin-ringed first seal from its copper hinges, and place my lips atop the cheesecloth layers of the second seal, breathing deeply as the spores entered into my lungs, found new home inside my bronchial lining. It became so hard to see, to keep my eyes focused, the muscles in my hands from spasming. Each morning, looking over what I had done, I was surprised to discover anything readable, legible, anything worth keeping. Mine is a slow process, the patience of a sculptor who works only with water washing away the stone. I set the marbles atop the star-maps, followed their patterns with eye and pen, charted the symbols formed in their points of intersection. Everything represented everything. When I was two people, two distinct personalities, we knew where to make distinctions, where to set our definitions. We knew harmony. I thought, once, that the combination into one would insure this balance, but there was no combination. One always has to make a choice.

The basement rooms are filled with the homeless sent here by Red Cross, and as such my job consists entirely of answering the phone and denying people who ask for a place to stay any passage. I have yet to receive one such call. I sleep in the office, beneath the desk, and wait here at the desk throughout the night. The Sewage Priest pays me once a week, in cash, making sure nothing's been stolen or broken. leaving me to diagrams, to generative stratagems, to the discovery of the secret name. There are no secret names. One must make their name their own. The wind collects like currents through your hair. The hum of insects swirls around, through the streets, through the trees. There is no holding on.

At night, when the thud of fists hitting the wall needed to be silenced, I would walk the hallways, lost and diseased, slowly shifting into other buildings; the hospital, the warehouses, the storage catacombs now filled with floodwater, the corners filled with images of people I once knew, once was. The dread killers Abel and Baker would appear in doorways, blurring as I approached, disappearing into the paint of the wall. Her voice came up through the phone-line, asking me if I remembered, if I would ever visit again. Was this the remembered place? The place of still-time, of solidified aether staining the grass, trapping spirits, frozen hollow to the touch, the tactile memories somewhere between a low valley flood, an onyx-vein torn through an unmaintained highway, a mound of abandoned gray-polluted beeswax. Was this the place where the slow rolling throb summoned you from a place buried beneath your bones? In the trees, bound up in the nets they once trapped fish with, corpses with hooks in their hands attempt to pull themselves over with frayed and eaten muscle, roll themselves over to watch you move, watch the dances you learned from the flight-paths of sightless birds, the steps of a sky-borne Salome. Your position shapes the air around you, shapes the drift of scents in the woods, shapes the hungers and dreams of the blackbirds and crow-dogs who walk the perimeters, searching for ditch-water to wash their mouths of the soot drifting out from smoldering overturned automobiles, their blackened wares spilling out like candy from a fallen stocking. The spirits follow the air-pathways back to you, to the warping and whirling of your hips shifting, your hands slipping into the light-streams. Little wonder the village-children whisper your name in their treetop fortresses, gathered round the rubicons of transgressed boundaries, their new clothes still loose around them, their fingers and toes just barely peeking out at the edges. Little wonder the bases of the great trees which scrape their crowns on the belly of the sky hold small carved idols bearing your shape, left by those staring into the distance, walking the wall of this world. Little wonder that this place is run through with a song only you can hear. Keep me here, and tell me your story, just a bit longer, because I am afraid, and I am not ready, not ready, not ready, no, I am not ready to go away.

I found myself addicted to repetition, to cycles, the woolywarm heat of the church attaining a sentience, tracking from room to room, and I would follow, the scent of the incense and the mildew, spirals in the carpet and lost surgeons looking for the operating theatre staring at me behind masked eyes. Water stains on the ceiling centered with black fungus, spores staining the lighting fixtures. I cannot remember where I am going. Traces of the re-risen. I can no longer be sure. I am not who I am.

the exit is hidden within the exit