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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

STAR WARS D6 Character Sheet PDF

These Star Wars D6 Character Sheets are to go with my streamlined rules
based on WEG's 1st Edition Star Wars game,
with a few special modifications based on playing pretty much every year
since it came out in '87.

You can check'em out here:

If you end up using these sheets and think there's something you'd like to see
added to them, leave a comment below. Thx!

Friday, January 6, 2017

Conrunning the Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan

C1: The Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan was one of the few AD&D modules I remember having as a kid. For years I've wanted to run it again, and did so at EttinCon in the Blue Mountains beyond Sydney last weekend. Two 3 hour sessions, 6 players first and 7 players second, using 5th Edition rules. Spoilers ahead.

HSoT was originally written in 1979 for Origins, and published in 1980, then republished in 1981 with a full colour cover and more pages (I had this version). You can get the PDF of it here. Turns out it'll be coming out in 5e rules as part of the collected adventures in Tales from the Yawning Portal. Cool.

1981 version Cover Illustration by Erol Otus

Information design and presentation has come a looooong way in the 35 years since, and while yakking with Erik Jensen about Tamoachan he mentioned there was an updated version for 4th Edition in Dungeon Magazine #209 (which you can grab here).

The presentation was much improved (boxed text alert) and I ended up using this version when I ran it. Mike Schley did the cartography for the 4th Ed version which was printed and given out as a Game Day reward in 2011:

The hi res map isn't publicly available for download, but I contacted Mike Schley and he not only gave me the digital version of the map above, he then went and found the unmarked player map. Awesome.

I really wanted to have the map printed out as a battle map on the table for the players (I find it helps them focus on the game and cuts out the air time spent on giving dimensions to each room, especially important when you're up against the clock at a Con), but scaled up to 1" = 5' that map would have been over 13 feet long and 7 feet wide. I ended up breaking the map up into five sections: 3 for the first Tier, 1 for the second and third Tier, and 1 for the top of the Temple. Even then I had to do a fair bit of photoshop work to compress the map so the bottom Tier would fit on three A0 posters, and I could only get the scale to 3/4" = 5' but that was ok. Come gametime I had the five maps laid one on top of each other, working our way down trough the pile. As you'll see in the set up, the players begin with a map of the temple which explains why they can see it in-game.

In terms of adventure design it starts with a single "only way out is through" entry point A (the partially caved in room bottom right), with a possible-but-highly-unlikely-they'll-find-it exit that allows you to explore from the top of the temple downwards B, several branches that lead to a single choke point C, several different paths to the next choke point D, several branches and paths to choke point E, and then a fairly straight run to the top of the temple at F with a couple of optional branches on the way.

There was one secret door in the original adventure at G, and I added another a H cause I didn't want the players to see the clear exit off from these two maps so they'd explore the dungeon.

The game would have played quite differently if the maps weren't there on the table, a lot more exploration, but even so both groups were really pushed for time to finish it at all, and with the second group that played I even cut whole levels of maps out in the end. But I was fine with that, cause there was a lot of getting into their characters and I didn't want to punish that investment.

The 1st Ed version has: "In general, party size should be from 5 to 7 characters of 3rd to 7th levels. The average level of the party should be 5th. If fewer than 5 players are involved, the average level should be 6th."

The 4th Ed version only has "for 7th level characters".

I wasn't sure what levels to go with for 5th edition characters, but ended up making eight 7th-level characters for the 6-7 players to choose from each session.

What a fucking nightmare that was.

Even with the help of Jack Shear and Reece Carter (many many thanks!) it took fucking forever to a) create the characters and b) condense all the character info into one digestible page, with an extra page for spells. As each character piled on ability after ability it really did bring home some of the flaws with the hidden complexity of 5E. I could have created the equivalent in one evening using some over systems I'm familiar with. It took hours and hours and hours...

Anyway, it's done, and it's available here so you don't have to go through my pain:

Top Row: Shank the Half-elven Assassin, Xyla the Human Wizard,
Pinchgut the Dwarven Rogue,
Jinx the Halfling Bard
Bottom Row: Horhog the Human Barbarian, Ulsha the Elven Cleric, Dendrek the Human Fighter,
Riff Raff the Human Ranger (cursed to look like a Ratling).

I based the characters off these awesome illustrations by Eric Belisle, who's done a lot of great work for Pathfinder and some illos for D&D. I really wanted a set of united character pics all by the same artist, and with that hint of jungle in the designs and these were perfect. On top of that, there's a wide range of color and body type and gender representation so I reckon its a rocking bunch of adventurers.

So was 7th level the right level? Yeah, if you wanted to play on easy mode. There were two character deaths in each game, but that came from a Save or Die situation I'll talk about in a sec. One character got dropped to 4HP at one stage, but with the cleric packing the heals and the Wizard being an Abjurer at no point were the characters perilously close to death. I reckon you could easily go for 6th level and still be ok, 5th level for a challenging but possible game.

I printed out the 8 characters on A5 sized card stands and lined them up infront of the players and let them choose which ones they wanted to be. In both games there were 6 players, leaving 2 characters left. I made sure they both turned up later on.

I really wanted to have an in game explanation as to why the players could see the layout of the shrine and their location within it, and I also wanted to give them a reason to explore the shrine instead of taking the shortest possible path out of there. So I came up with this terrible poem:

Enshrined within the shrine lies the mask of pain divine
An end to all world’s ills when worn the mask reveals
The boon or bane of man in lost Tamoachan

and the following introduction:

You and your friends have shared in many adventures, and now search for the Mask of Tamoachan, a legendary artefact said to grant wishes to the one that wears it. Each of you wants for different reasons, but have all agreed to find it together.

Two weeks ago you broke into the fortress of one of the Sea Princes and stole a magical map. On one side it revealed the location of the lost city of Tamoachan in the Amedio Jungle; the other showed what appeared to be a section of the layout of the Shrine of Tamoachan.

The Sea Princes don't take kindly to thieves and sent bounty hunters after you. In a stolen ship you sailed across the narrow waters to the shores of the Amedio, and struck deep into the shadows beneath the rainforest.

But the hunters dogged you every step of the way, and had coerced native trackers to help bring you down.

Finally you drew near to the location marked on the stolen map, spotting a junglecrusted temple ruin rising out of the trees ahead — and that's when they attack.

Poisoned arrows and crossbow bolts whistle around you as you dash through the jungle, smashing through branches, stumbling over fallen trunks, torn by thorns and vines. In the chaos you lose sight of some of your crew, but the plan is simple: get to the temple, regroup and take a stand.

And then with a great roar the ground beneath you splits apart, and you are all thrown down a mighty crevice and into darkness.

From there the adventure begins, with the players starting in Room 1. Away you go.

I placed the mask in the trapped Chest 2 of Room 33: Ancient Tamoachan, where the miniature version of the city is found. An Intelligence (Religion) check DC 12 is require to identify which of the buildings is the Shrine of Tamoachan. "Enshrined within a shrine".

The mask looks like a green death's head, furnished out of jade stone and shells, bound together in bloodsoaked leather straps and highlighted with various stone of blue and red. Leather ties from the back of the mask are used to secure it to the wearer. Soft bloodstained leather lines the inside of the mask, and is slightly damp to the touch. Examining the mask for several rounds will show that there is something strange with the jade stone: it seems that the natural white speckling and flaws move. Further examination reveals that these shapes coalesce into vaguely human forms, and that rough faces seem to be screaming.

The mask must be firmly tied on for its power to function. Once worn, the wearer can commune with the mask, and know that it will grant the wearer its greatest desire. The wearer must make a Wisdom Save. If successful, the mask fulfils the wearer's desire functioning much the same as a wish spell. If unsuccessful, the wearer is instantly killed, their body and soul sucked into the mask. The wearer may use the mask's power once per week.

Destroying the Mask:
Brute force is all that is required. The Mask is AC: 20, has a hardiness of 14, and 20 hit points. If it has any hit points at the start of the round it immediately regenerates d6 hit points.

Why the Characters want it:
I also added a bunch of individual goals for the pregens and why they seek the mask; it made for some great roleplaying when they finally get their hands on it.

Shank the Assassin has a deathwish, and wants the mask either to kill him or take away his pain.
Xyla the Wizard has promised the souls trapped within the Mask to a Demon Lord that has ensnared her master.
Pinchgut the Rogue wants to sell the mask for gold and joools.
Jinx wants the mask to resurrect her lost love.
Horhog the Barbarian needs the mask to cure him of his deadly disease.
Ulsha the Cleric wants to destroy the mask and return the trapped souls to the great spiritual journey.
Dendrek the Fighter wants the mask to heal his missing eye.
Riff Raff the Rogue wants the mask to return him to his human form.

They turn up twice in the adventure.

In Room 33: Ancient Tamoachan — yep, the same room as where the Mask of Tamoachan is found — there is lying in a coffin the shapeshifting Tlacaelel, which assumes the visage of "someone you thought you might never see again" — which is where the unchosen character comes in (or one of the characters if there's more than one). They take the extra character's form, and use the cover story that the natives caught them, bound them and placed them in the coffin as part of some native ritual.

They also turn up at the final battle atop of the Shrine of Tamoachan, in Room 54: The Temple Ruin. The extra character(s) have gone full Belloch: they've sold out the rest of the group, and when they "disappeared" at the start of the adventure during the attack, they were simply rejoining the other hunters, and are waiting for the player characters to do their dirty work before joining in on the attack along side the Olman natives and Witchdoctor. If you want you can also add a few hunters (use Thugs and Veterans from p.350. of the Monster Manual) if the players have survived without much injury.

Thanks to all my players in both groups. Hope you had as much fun as I did.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

If only.... mock cover using art by Paul Dainton from the amazing Artstation ILM Challenge

Firing up a new Star Wars campaign, both locally and on G+. I've never run a Bounty Hunter focused game before. Should be fun. And bloody. I'll keep a running summary of each episode on the blog.
    STAR WARS: THE WILD HUNT is an episodic campaign focused on Bounty Hunters during the Dark Times of the Galactic Empire.
    The campaign is not tied to any location and will roam across the Star Wars galaxy— where-ever the trail of your bounty leads. The reign of the Empire is at its zenith, the galaxy cowers under its oppressive rule, and those outside of elite Imperial circles carry the greatest burdens of the Imperial war machine. The galaxy is crumbling under its weight.
    Grim and gritty space sleaze. Bounty Hunters trawl the underbelly of the galaxy and must be willing to get their hands dirty. Very dirty. Their quarry is usually desperate, and their rivals will do whatever it takes to get the job done. There’s a reason Bounty Hunters get paid so much.
    Violence, corruption, and survival. Do you have what it takes to survive in such a violent life? Everything has a price, and some things have a cost that cannot be measured in credits. How much are you willing to pay?
    The purpose of your team is to hunt bounties, but only a few of your profession are bounty hunters by trade, the rest falling into the job as their old career fell apart. Many different skill sets can give a team of hunters an edge over its adversaries. Just be sure your character can hold their own in a fight — a Str of at least 3D is recommended, as is some skill in blaster, brawl, melee, and/or dodge.
    Some questions you should also think about while you create your character:
  • Why your character has signed up as a bounty hunter?
  • What’s driven them to this violent life?
  • How long they intend to stay with job?
  • What they plan to do with their bounties?
  • What will it take to get them out?
  • Do they have a code of conduct to keep their morality intact?
  • Are there any limits to what they’ll do for credits?
  • Are there targets they’ll refuse to hunt?
  • How much will it cost to change their mind?
  • What does your character do to forget the horrors they’ve seen, or maybe even committed?
  • Have they killed, or do they only take jobs where the quarry is wanted alive?
  • Has you character done anything they’ve regretted?
  • Can they do anything about it to make amends or will they have to live with the guilt?
  • What do they think of the Empire? The Old Republic? The Jedi? Even the rumors of rebellion?
The answers to these questions should help you choose your character’s Edges and Burdens.
    Bounty Hunter companies have one of three allegiances: Imperial Sanction (Imperial bounties only, Imperial privileges), Hunter Guild Membership (Guild bounties only, Guild privileges), or Independent Hunters (freelance bounties, no privileges, no restraints).
    As a group you’ll need to work out which Affiliation your team has.
Use the rules linked here: STAR WARS D6 RULES ESSENTIALS to create your character using one of the following character sheets. Given the scarcity of the Force during the Dark Times, no Force Sensitive characters are allowed, and only 1 Force Point can be spent by the team each session.

Friday, May 27, 2016

The Cursed Chateau

It's here! Where I've been for the past few months.

I'll put up a post about its production over the next few days, dealing with the issues working with metallic inks, two color illustrations, design, but for now, click on the image to go get it and support a great writer, a great publisher, and a dishevelled and underslept artist.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Star Wars Force Awakens: A new Era for Adventure?

So for the last few weeks I've been thinking "hey when Force Awakens is out I should really run some D6 SW rpg again, and won't it be cool to use the new era as a springboard for adventures cause it's so hot right now".

Only... now that I've seen Force Awakens... I'm not thaaaaaat inspired by it as an rpg setting, at least not more than I am by the Star Wars Classic Era games. And I've been mulling this over for the last day or so.

Why is it that I'm not champing at the bit now I've seen it? There's lots of cool non-time specific era stuff to yoink into any Star Wars game:

• The concept of Jakku - scavengers ekking out a living in the shadows of ruined battlecruisers - is great (I have a Junk World in my homebrew Star Wars Malicrux sector where scavengers pull apart beached warcruisers, stealing from the tanker strippers you get on the beaches in India)

• Tons of new races glimpsed, just waiting to be detailed, oh and droids too.

• Hints at the criminal gangs like the Kanjiklub and the Gauvian Death Enforcers

• Those Space-Otyugh (Rathars, I think?) that Solo's transporting - the best space critter seen in any of the SW movies

• Mas Kanata's smugglers den... she's been around for a thousand years (sold pot to Yoda during his college years, I hear) and according to Lupito N'yongo has run the place for a hundred years, so there's no reason it wouldn't exist during Classic or Clone Wars games. "Ya'll meet in a bar..."

• Lord Snoke... (hear me out on this) could possibly be a giant, or he could just be doing the Wizard of Oz trick and just be a little guy behind smoke and mirrors. But if not, and that hologram of him was 1 for 1 scale.... well now we have giants in Star Wars. Cool.

• The First Jedi Temple. Well that's got to have been a round for a few thousand years. So yeah, suitable for any era (I totally reckon they shot scenes from SW VIII while they were there, btw)

• Some excellent new Force Powers for the rare Jedi character out there (Boltholder, Force Paralysis, Seize Memory), plus an excellent demonstration of a latent Force Sensitive awakening.

• Some highly dodgy hyperspace hijinx your desperate smuggler can try and pull off.

... and so on. Bound to be tons more stuff in there that I'm forgetting that can be ripped out and dumped into your game.

But as for playing during the new First Order Era?

One of the few complaints I have about Force Awakens is how thin on the ground it is with its locations and the greater galactic scope. It really highlights one of the strengths of the prequels: Lucas' world building and expanding of his galaxy was really great, and Force Awakens was comparatively really dull. A desert world (been there way too many times already), a world of lakes and forests (been there), a world of snow and ice (been there, too), an urban world (briefly!) and an Imperial military complex (been there, lots). Say what you want about the prequels, but boy did Lucas take us to some really interesting places (same goes for the Clone Wars series, and for the new Rebels series). Even the planets and locations in the Nu Trek films are way more interesting than Force Awakens.

And the complaints aren't just about physical locations. The set up— there's a new Republic, which seems to have a democratic government going down, and there's the First Order trying to tear them down but they're only soso powerful, and they're being thwarted by the Resistance (who's relationship with the Republic is... weird to say the least, why not just be the New Republic Armed Forces or whatever) — the set up ain't very clear, and it's very cursory.

Compare that with say the set up of New Hope: there's a tyrannical galactic empire that's grinding everyone under its boots, the remnants of the Old Republic being swept away, criminality is flourishing under draconian rule, and there's a fledgeling Rebellion trying to fix this crapsack setting. There's more impetus to adventure implicit in the Empire's domination of the galaxy. There's a much grander sense of scale too, even if we don't see Coruscant, the Senate, the Emperor the Imperial Academy. "If there's a bright center to the galaxy you're on the planet that it's farthest from." "I've been from one side of the galaxy to the other and seen a lot of strange stuff." There's an awareness of how small these players feel they are in the grand scheme of things (only they aren't small, after all).

The galaxy in Force Awakens feels small. And incomplete.

Maybe we'll just have to hang out for the next two films to fill in those gaps before we go galavanting around this new galaxy. Maybe I can just make my own shit up to fill in the gaps. But if I have to run a Star Wars game... the new First Order era isn't calling to me, yet. There is little in the new era that makes it stand out from the previous eras (whether it's KOTOR era, or Clone Wars era, or Classic era). There is nothing unique about it that would make the gaming experience much different to those other times. All you'd be doing was changing names.

So how do you fix it?

When they were during production one of the early snippets I caught about Force Awakens was that the galactic war was far from over despite the destruction of the second Death Star, and that the war dragged on across the galaxy for decades. And that really sounded fascinating to me. Imagine a protracted civil war between government forces, numerous anti-government factions, meddling by external powers, and throw in a bunch of wild and crazy experimental game-changing technological weapons. Basically... take your cues from what's going on in say Syria.

Now take Syria, and make it Syria.... IN SPPPPAAAAACE. A galaxy wide civil war. And then make that war play out over three decades across the stars.

What a horrible, terrible place the galaxy would be.

What I hoped we were going to get was two major players - the New Republic and the remains of the Empire - utterly exhausted by the war, having to deal with interference by vested interests — say a Hutt mercenary army or other criminal enterprise trying to capitalise on the chaos and expand their territory by invading wartorn worlds and offering new security. Imagine the state of the galaxy: everything's shot to pieces, or been consumed by the warmachine, or completely disrupted and malfunctioning, of crumbling edifices, ruined starports, and countless bodies everywhere, a scavenger galaxy where dysfunctional governments are usurped by gangs and warlords and everyone lives under the rule of the gun. And suddenly two fleets appear in the skies overhead, and for days the locals live in terror first of wreckage raining down on their world, and then the takeover by the victors above as they strip the world bare of any fuel and parts and food and munitions and people to continue their idealogical genocide.

And maybe that's what the galaxy of the new First Order era is like. A small pocket of civilization at the heart of the Republic, where things are goodish, and several pockets of draconian rule under the Empire.... and everywhere else is utter shit. A points of light campaign on a galactic scale.

Jakku seems a bit like that at least.

Anyway... that's what I'd do to the rest of the galaxy, what I'd do to make it stand apart from the other eras. There would be a lot more scavenging, kludging, cobbling, and starving; a lot more desperation, despair, and cruelty on all sides, a miserable place where all hope for the return of the Jedi.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

So finally after months of pussyfooting round I finally got to run the first session of Swords of Nordheim using D&D 5th and a bunch of houserules (modified races and classes, mainly, plus the use of futhark runes as character inspiration).

Two old mates of mine: Steg (also in Sydney) and Wes (currently working in Tokyo), who I've known and gamed with for twenty years or so, ran using Google Hangouts (man their "downgrade" is making it hard to stick around on G+.... sigh). Hopefully a couple more players will be join us soon.

And to push myself with the arty stuff and with the writey stuff I'm going to keep a session recap, complete with quick illustrations (I need to work on being faster with the pen). Lessee how long I can stick this out.

Nordheimer Warrior of Noble blood, drew the rune of Eihwaz merkstave, and favours the god Heimdall above all others. A master of games (few are his equal at shatranj) and a likeable son of the local lord. The broadsword and round shield are his weapons and he wears a fine chain shirt into battle.

Trollblood Berzerker who trained as a Weaponsmith, drew the rune of Isa merkstave, and favours the goddess Sif above all others. His trollblood manifests as hideous claws that he must sever each morning before he goes to work in his smithy, where he hammers out the finest swords in his town. The sword and round shield are his weapons, but he eschews armour in his berzerker rage.

Jotunblood Huntress who sails the coast hunting whales, drew the rune of Nauthiz merstave, and favours the god Uller above all others. She is descended from Sea Giants. The Harpoon is her weapon, and the hide of her kills protects her. (I like having a DMPC in my games, especially if there's only a couple of players, and they're almost always heavy hitters just to help the PCs stay alive. And no, they're not snowflakes. They die very well, thank you).

(Merkstave means the rune has negative connotations, and the choice of favoured god from the Norse pantheon confers a minor blessing on each character)

The names are all from here: Viking Fantasy Name Generator

Steg punched a bunch of storyhooks into his brief character background, and here it is verbatim:

His father, a devout man, was famous for his own adventures twenty years gone. But last summer some old friends of his father's, some familiar to Gunvor and some not, turned up late one evening. The last trace of his father was a hastily scribbled note: “Eerika Bergljotdottir stirs in the Doom where we trapped her. We journ to Helmsborg to seek answers. Godsmun Bjornen Triggson gave oath this could not happen unless Strength in Life, Strength in Battle.”

So the player characters are the sons and daughters of Kirby's friends who have gone missing for several months, and I threw them straight into rowing their faering boat across the frigid waters to where their parents were last known to be heading: the island of Eerika's Doom.

The Island awaits...

We started late and there was the usual first session muckaround to begin with, so we didn't get terribly far into it (which is good, cause I was underprepped and I can bang some stuff out in time for next week's game).

The three adventurers made it to the island and dragged their faering up over the rocky shores and into the tussocks beyond, then headed to the headland promontory away to the east to get a better view of the island. Through the slowly parting mists they saw a large rocky hill rising from the centre of the island, granite and barren, and were about to head off there when Torrad spied a wooden dragonprow poking up from the forest near the harbour on the far side of the headland.

They investigated, and found a small knarr fit for a dozen people had been pulled ashore and covered over with tarp and hidden by branches. They searched the ship, found no-one, but guessed from the rotting food stores that the crew had intended to stay for some time but had not returned to their ship. At best guess it had been hidden for several months; a small campfire was found but had been partially grown over. The three adventurers also found a couple of odds and ends (I'd forgotten to roll on the trinkets table and got them to do so in game). Then headed off to the rocky hill and found it soon enough.

As they scrambled about the hill, they found the rock was exceptionally cold to the touch, akin to touching bare flesh on frozen steel, and that there were no signs of animal life. Again Torrad's keen eyes spotted the flight of rough hewn stairs running up the side of the hill, and ascending it they came to a wide landing and a low stone cliff, into which some masterful hands had carved a wide opening that descended down into darkness.

At the bottom of there were two heavy stone doors, shut tight; but with a hefty push the doors parted to reveal a long hall lined with statues of excellent craftmanship, dark passages descending between each pair of figures. It appeared to be a burial mound, but the funereal boat was not lying along the floor. Instead it had somehow been inverted, so that the tip of the mast touched the stone ground, and the ceiling lay many feet deep in the thickest grip of ice. Only the prows emerged from the glacial grasp, and the ice ran down along the walls to smoother the upper halves of the statues.

The hall was incredibly cold, the air hurt to breathe, and touching anything froze the flesh.

Torrad persevered though, and using a torch and dagger managed to chip the ice away from one of the statues, that (serendipitously?) revealed the statue was a goddess, and was indeed his patron Sif, the goddess of War (have an inspiration point for that). The others went looking for their gods. Drifa found and freed Uller, the god of Hunting, but none of the statues were of Gunvor's patron Heimdall.

Instead Gunvor found Heimdall's face carved into the massive stone doors at the far end of the hall. Fitting, that the god of guardians would be found protecting the inner sanctum of the burial mound. Gunvor gave it his best to open the innder doors, but Heimdall was having none of it.

A quick investigation of the six other passageways leading out of the main hall reveal each descended to yet more stone doors. One was open, but at Torrad's insistence they chose the door guarded by Sif.

With a bit of effort (the ice that gripped the ceiling ran down each passage and partially covered the doors) they managed to open the passage and found a tomb inside. The walls were again lined with statues, this time of nobility, looking down on a massive sarcophagus. Gunvor and Torrad were about to push the lid off it when Drifa spotted a secret door up in the passageway, but they pressed on with the task and with a massive crash the stone lid fell away.

Inside was the fully armed and armoured skeleton of a Jotunblood warrior, easily over nine feet tall. Long dead, Torrad decided to bequeath his armour to Drifa, and the warrior's fine looking sword to himself; he snapped the Jotunskel's head right round as he was removing the helm.... only to see the head turn slowly back and the horror rise up out of its resting place.

The Jotunskel (reskinned Minotaur Skeleton p273MM, increased AC to 14, decreased damage to 1d8+6).

It mouthed breathless words as it snapped Drifa's harpoon in half, swatted away the first sword blows, and then attacked. Maybe because Torrad was the one who defiled his tomb it concentrated its wrath on him and brought its own sword down on the trollblood hardest. The first blow to hit dropped him two thirds of his hit points, but the combination of Gunvor's swift swordwork, Drifa's horns and Torrad's rage wore the creature down, and it was finally felled by Gunvor's sword to the neck. As the decapitated head rolled away, its still mouthed its silent words. "You shall bear these arms at Ragnorok," was what it appeared to say, watching as the victors looted its fallen body.

We called it a night there. Midnight; tired Jez, more prep needed.

I didn't get anywhere near enough prep time as I would have liked, so grabbed the old crypt map I'd made a few years back to showcase the DungeonFu GoogleDocs I'd made... so far this is what they've explored:

Trinkets from the boat:
- a brass king from a shatranj game (Gunvor)
- a mysterious iron holy symbol of an unknown god (Torrad)
- a large scale from a Vaengrwyrm (Drifa)

From the Jotunskel:
- one suit of chain mail and warhelm (fit for a Jotunblood)
- one fine heavy broadsword (+1 damage)
- one fine dagger
- a magnificent bejeweled belt
- one wooden round shield marked with a doubleheaded orca
- a fine silver necklace bearing an amulet of Thor's hammer Mjolnir

Exploring the Island: 150XP
Defeating the Jotunskel: 450XP

TOTAL: 600XP/3 = 200XP each

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Goreball Playtests

Ready to Roll....

Been a little quiet here, but only cause I've been busy hammer and tongs on Goreball!

Took the game for its first public playtests last weekend at the inaugural BezerkaCon in Sydney, which was a great motivator for getting the prototype up and ready and the rules refined enough for proper play. Also managed to get a few games in with my gamer crew in the lead up, so all up it's had about 10 playtests with others now.

A big thanks to everyone who took it for a spin, your feedback has been invaluable and I've spent the last few days tweaking and refining. I'm really happy with where it's heading.

What I've learned from the playtests:

• I suck at playing my own game. I haven't won once.
• Everyone really digs the look of the board and figures. Phew.
• Gameplay comes in a wide variety of styles, which is great. Working out which tactics are best is going to be fun.
• The playtests were only using teams of Kludgers — the allrounder position with the same amount of dice in every ability. That made it easier to teach the basics. I look forward to trying it with the full roster of positions available.
• I had a guy with fairly poor eyesight look over the board and the designs of all the positions and could separately identify everything. Good.
• People reaaaaaaally like hurting their opponent's players. This game runs on schadenfreude.
• People reaaaaaaally like picking up their own Goreballers with their Mauljaws and throwing them around the arena. Even when they splat.
• The Gore tokens are a winner. Ain't called Goreball for nothing.
• There's a lot of love for the Mauljaws. The moveable goal aspect is really popular.
• Mauljaws are really really hard to take down. But not impossible; once you get them on their back it's possible to pile on and with everyone and hurt them bad.
• I need to differentiate the two special Mauljaw attacks of ripping Goreballers limb from limb and just eating them whole. Mechanically and results wise they're too similar.
• It's taken a while to get the lethality levels right. Originally I had it so that injuring the Mauljaw, or injuring all the active Goreballers so there's noone in the Arena was a means of winning the game. That led to some heavy slugfests while the goreballer with the Gob hung out down the back,and once one team gains the upper hand numberswise its a death spiral. That's been changed now so that instead of winning you just score a point, which means that a passing game ends up being a more effective means of point scoring which is what I wanted.
• Falling off a pylon and critically injuring yourself as your opening move is hilarious.
• When the Gob explodes, it's a little less dangerous than I originally hoped for, and might need bolstering.
• It's possible for one team to have multiple turns in a row. There was one game where my opponent got three full turns before I could act. It didn't bother me in the slightest — I might have been to caught up in the playtest — but it could prove frustrating for certain players. I'll need to work that out.
• The biggest recurring issue was the bases for the Mauljaws. Currently I'm using the Pathfinder Pawns medium and huge sized bases. No real probs with the Goreballers (minor issues with bases being ever so slightly larger than the hexes but barely commented on) whereas the huge circular base placed over multiple hexes was confusing when it came to moving the Mauljaw around. In a perfect world the bases would be hex shaped to best fit on the hex board, and the Mauljaw bases would cover a 7 hex shape with its edge matching the outline of the 7 hexes. But no one to my knowledge makes them, and I really want to avoid going do the path of manufacturing unique plastic pieces for this game. Conundrum.
• The amount of dicerolling.... was a lot, but no one complained about it.
• The core rules seemed to be picked up by everyone pretty quickly.
• Teaching people how to play Goreball is exhausting!
• Teaching people how to play Goreball is awesome!

All in all, the playtests were great.

So from here:

• revise the rules with all the feedback and playtest again.
• finish designing the female Goreballers (I had the Kludgers as 50/50 guys/gals. These things are important).
• finish the mutation tables for the Goreballers and Mauljaws, as well as work out more interesting equipment to be picked up from the stash drops.
• test the rules at higher levels of ability. Currently all the positions have abilities ranging between 1 to 3 (that's the number of dice you get to roll and your result is the highest die). I need to see how it plays when Goreballers have abilities between 4 to 6, and the Mauljaws (who currently attack and defend with 4 to 6 dice) need to be tested with 7 to 10 dice.
• once that's all done, and I'm 100% happy with how the core game runs, I need to work out rules for tournaments and league play.
• playtest the league rules.

and once that's done, I can start to look at production and distribution.

can't wait!

Death don't care what color you are. Or if you're packing or racking.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015


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Tuesday, October 28

Honka Hoota!

It's a bit of a gambit, having a bell or horn on your bike. It's not PRO. It's not PRO at all. And we all want to be PRO. Yelling is PRO. "Ching-ching!" . . . not so much.

This summer I decided to shun conventional wisdom and purchase a Honka-Hoota. I think it's hilarious to honk at the most inopportune times. Or pretty much all the time. There is never not a good time to honk. I don't know what it is--they are just fun.

I never looked at their site though--who knew there was such a rich cultural history to the honka hoota?

The Honka Hoota was originally designed by an out of work chinese chicken sexer, Mr. Pedro Honka Da-Hoota.

He migrated to Australia and started selling contraband to the Gold miners.

He required a loud audible warning device to alert the miners working underground of his arrival.

I am not making this up, it's on their Honka Hoota history page.

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Saturday, July 19, 2008

Purple with a Purpose

Alas, there was a festival board meeting this morning, so I didn't make it to the farmers' market. I did, however, splurge on a Purple with a Purpose pedicure at Lucky Nails this afternoon.

The thing I like best about pedicures, other than the excuse to spend a restorative half-hour perusing Vanity Fair, is selecting the nail polish color. I'm fascinated by the fact that for years the bestselling color was OPI's I'm Not Really a Waitress red. I've tried to google my way to the namer of that color to no success, as I'd like to interview them. Anybody know?

Paige said...

I had my first pedicure in FOREVER last week, and my toes are now Cosmique (a blue black from Chanel--fabulous.) I share your obsession with color namers, (and OPI's are particularly great) but my curiosity extends to paint colors, fabrics, and beyond--what a genius job. Write the New Yorker article!

Gina Hyams said...

Where did you go that had Chanel polish?

There already was a New Yorker article last year called "Made in the Shade" by Eric Konigsberg. I was bummed as I've been circling the topic for some time, but it wasn't the last word by any means.


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Nov 2, 2011

blog sale: Petr Novák tea ware (2)

The last blog sale of Petr Novák tea ware generated a wave of excitement. I was contacted by quite a few people about each of the single-copy teapots and tea sets. This enthusiasm (mixed with my own selfish desire of having more of Petr's tea wares...) led to the decision that we should carry Petr's tea ware in our web store. So now we've got more teapots, tea sets and tea bowls!

The last blog sale was very helpful for me to learn about American and Canadian tea drinkers' preferences. Besides, not all Petr Novák fans' wishes were fulfilled from the last blog sale. So before the new shipment of Petr's tea wares go to the web store, they are available in this blog sale, with a special discount. There are various factors to consider for the store prices and they are not finally determined yet. But it's guaranteed that prices in this blog sale are much lower than future in-store prices, and the prices are some of the best that one can get in North America. Those of you who participated in the last blog sale may notice that prices of this sale are even better. For this we thank Petr for coordinating this bulk order!

US domestic shipping for each piece is $7 (insurance included). $2 shipping for each additional piece.

Shipping to Canada by first class mail is $9. $2 for each additional piece (no insurance, shipment number is available but online tracking is usually unavailable until after the package is delivered... yeah it's silly...). Shipping to Canada by priority mail is$20. $2 for each additional piece (with partial and dwindled insurance, a better online tracking, but sometimes slower than first class mail... it's puzzling...)

People in Europe or on other continents may consider contacting Petr directly through his blog, his website, or by email (which can be found in his blog). It's much better to get it directly him to avoid multiple times of international shipping, save the costs and painful waiting. But of course you are welcome to get it from me if you are so thirsty for a specific piece of work!

Following photos are from Petr's google album. You can find much more photos of his other tea wares in that album. Just watching the album is a lot of fun, especially if you love window shopping ;-)

Sizes are measured with a ruler, precise to + - 5%.

Volumes are directly from Petr. I didn't re-measure them, but by experience, they all look quite precise to me. I've realized that recently there is the trend of measuring volumes with chemistry lab accuracy :-p So if you feel you really really need the specific volume (I am talking to you science and engineering geeks...), please let me know how you would like it to be measured (e.g., to the rim, room temperature, by weight of water replacement or graduated cylinder...)

If interested, please email gingkoheight at gmail dot com in 1 week. First come, first serve. All questions are welcome! If I can't answer them, Petr himself will!

Items will be shipped in 1 week but sooner if possible.

Some complementary "gifts with purchase" are at the bottom of the list.

1. White Shiboridashi Set, with one shiboridashi and one tea bowl.
There are 5 sets of them. All similar but with small color, pattern and size (+ - 3%) variation.
Volume: 110ml. Diameter of the shiboridashi is 3.75"

2. Black clay teapot.
Volume is 130ml. White glazed surface inside.

3. Shiboridashi set with one shiboridashi and one bowl.
Volume is 140ml. Diameter of the shiboridashi is 4".

4. Black Shiboridashi Set with one shibo and one bowl.
Volume is 110. Diameter of the shiboridashi is 3.75"

5. Snakeskin Shiboridashi Set with one shibo and one bowl. (This style has quite a few fans on teachat!)
Volume: 140ml. Diameter of the shiboridashi: 3.75"

Oh they are all so handsome! I want to keep them all! :-D

I am not sure if it's a little too devil to add to the temptation... but here are some complementary "gifts with purchase". Buyers please choose one :-D

These are some teas in my personal collection that's not available in market, at least not before I secure more of them :-)

1. Tie Guan Yin red tea, 2 small packs with 5-7g each. Well I guess you can find some TGY red tea in market, but not this one, because it's made by my friend :-D

2. 1960s Phoenix Dan Cong, 8g. Haha, I know...

3. 1996 Menghai Tuo, 10g. Somewhat similar to the 1996 Xiaguan Butterfly Spring Tuo, with a deeper tone.

4. 2011 Wild Oolong and 2010 Wild Oolong, 10g each.

5. Tong Cheng Small Orchid old tree cultivar, 15g. Similar to the Tong Cheng Small Orchid in the web store but from old trees.

Besides, an option of teacup -
6. Korean celadon small teacup. It holds about 60-75ml. Diameter is 2.75". (I think I only have 2 or 3 of these, so first come, first serve.)

learning to pull radishes said...

The Petr Novak tea cup I purchased from you at your first sale is still the most beautiful cup in my collection :)

Gingko said...

Yeah I remember seeing some nice photos of it in your blog!

Jen McCleve said...

These are some of the most interesting tea sets for sale that I've seen. Thanks for posting all of the pictures, great work.


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-----------CLAIRE-LOUISE JEDREK------------ --------1/2 Potato & 1/2 Kway Teow--------- -----Born in UK, moved to Singapore in 94'--- ------------ADRENALINE JUNKIE-------------- ----Loves Motorsports & Extreme sports----- ----------WORKS in ENTERTAINMENT----------- -----------------Cat Lover----------------- --------ULTRA BOOKWORM in DISGUISE------- -----------Rides an Aprilia RS125---------- -----LOVES Conversations and Traveling-----

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

All about Money!

This is SERIOUSLY one of funniest adverts in a long time about switching your phone off in the movies... It's sooo Singaporean I love it. classic!

Talking about Money Not Enough, heres the railer for Part II I can't wait!!!!I think I've been here long enough to TOTALLY understand, maybe 'cept some of the dialect meanings, but there are subtitles for the whole movie!!! Woooo! I can't believe its 10 years since the last one!!! My time flies!!!

sorry with the lack of writing,
been a bit of a sniffler and busy!
Watch out this Friday once again for AXN Ebuzz at 8pm and midnight.
Reruns I found out are sundays and Mondays!

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About Me

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Retroactive Pay

Apparently I was getting paid the same amount as an "unqualified teacher" in our school board. I hadn't noticed since I have only had one short term contract before this one that I was in the lowest pay bracket.

With more qualifications you are entitled to a higher salary in a pay grid for teachers. I SHOULD be at the second highest one and am finally going to have it show on my paycheques too. I've been trying to get this changed since the end of September when I first noticed!

So Friday is pay day and it will be an extra large chunk. Approximately $2000 more than I have been getting paid so that will help put a dent in some of the goals I have for this year. I actually think I will put half in my TFSA and the other in an RRSP.

Now my regular paycheque will be increased by about $225 after taxes. That was a lot to be missing out on for several months. So excited!!

  1. Ahhh! You're alive!!

    Happy to hear you're teaching these days. Yep, my first year with the board, I spent a lot of time trying to ensure that my payscale matched. It is a lot of paperwork, emails and phone calls, but just needs to be done to get what you're entitled to!


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“Jason Bourne: The Next Generation.”

“What did your mother die of?”
“Three bullets.”

That matter-of-fact answer, provided by Hanna (Ronan) over dinner with a friend and her family, sums up the character perfectly. While Bourne was seeking to recover his identity, this 16-year old girl never had one to begin with. She was brought up in the wilds of Finland, hunting deer, learning languages and training in hand-to-hand combat with her father, Erik Heller (Bana); she knows nothing of music, for example. Eventually, she is deemed ready, and the switch is flipped on a transmitter, revealing their location to Marissa Wiegler (Blanchett), Heller’s former CIA handler, and putting the pieces into play. Turns out Wiegler and Heller go back to before Hanna’s birth, and he has been waiting all this time to unleash his daughter against the woman who played a very important part in her development. Wiegler captures Hanna, but she escapes, and makes her way from Morocco to Berlin, and the intended rendezvous with her father, Wiegler and her minions in hot pursuit.

I liked this a good deal. As well as Bourne, it blended in a lot of elements from traditional fairy tales. Wiegler is Hanna’s wicked stepmother (the dynamic between the pair is particularly interesting), and Bana like the hunter in Snow White who disobeys orders, refusing to kill her. Regrettably, at no point does Hanna hang out with any midgets, even cool ones like the Half-Pint Brawlers. But she certainly proves more than capable of handling herself physically, as is shown in her escape from custody: dealing with the rest of humanity…well, maybe not so much. There’s also more than a touch of Run Lola Run, with the heroine galloping round Berlin, accompanied by a banging techno score (here, by The Chemical Brothers).

It might have benefited from showing Hanna’s skills a bit more; there’s nothing quite as cool for her as the sequence where, in a single camera-shot, her father comes out of the station, goes into a Berlin subway and wipes the floor with four minions. However, it easily qualifies for inclusion here, and Ronan’s performance grounds this and gives it an emotional heart in a way not often found in the genre.

Dir: Joe Wright
Star: Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett, Tom Hollander

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Sunday, September 25, 2005

Getting up at 6AM....

...on a Sunday for a lecture at 7 is less painful when you are greeted with such an amazing view.

More here.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Some things I don’t have answers to

Why is my dear Kerala so green?, couldn’t help but wonder this during my short train journey from Trichur to Cochin. Unlike other parts of our country, in Kerala, if you want to see soil, you have to strain your eyes and search for it in between all those greenery. Or maybe even pluck some vegetation. That’s how green this place is!

Why ‘ladies’ flock only to the Ladies compartment, even when the other compartments are relatively empty?
I made the big mistake of traveling in the ‘Ladies compartment’ on my way to Cochin. And to make things worse, there was the morning office-rush too. And this was the only compartment in that entire train that was packed to its full capacity, whereas the other compartments went relatively empty. At each station, ‘ladies’ of all shapes and sizes poured into this compartment without even caring to find out whether there are seats available in other coupes. I got ‘pressed’ royally, while wondering why the mallu mahila junta keep away from the general compartment so religiously. Is it just a psychological thing of accepting a ‘reservation’ or is it because of certain ‘intolerable experiences’ in the general compartment?

Where will I be during the next Onam?
This Onam was eventful for me thanks to the unsuccessful summit, the Guruvayoor trip, Salaam Namaste, Veegaland, the murals and the carvings in the Sani temple in Palghat, the heavenly 4PM rain in Trichur, INDIA by Naipaul, my transformed friend at Tripoonithura, the mini Onam sadya at home and lots more. But the high point of the entire 14 days has to be the half an hour spent floating in the Wave pool in Veegaland. The feel of water splashing all around you and nothing but the endless blue sky above you. Just lie down and drift away. Aaaah heaven!

Why do people keep calling me Priya?
Oh! Once again I forgot that that’s my name. Sometimes it scares me when people call me by my name and it takes me nothing less than 5 seconds to realize that they are calling me and that Priya is my name : (
I hope it’s not the start of Alzheimer’s.
Maybe its just that my parents got the name wrong. Maybe that’s not really my name!

Here’s something to look forward to for all those adventure ride enthusiasts. For me, who didn’t have the guts to try the Space Gun in Veegaland, these are simply out of the question. I am very happy just watching the pics, thank you! And thank god these crazy looking things exist only in someone’s imagination.

Some must-watch censored SUN ads here.

And for all those people toiling in office, while I am enjoying a well-deserved break at home, and still have about 8 months more before I hit the corporate circuit again, here’s something [Rediff-speak on How to work for an idiot] that might come in handy. If you survived in there, I am sure you would have mastered all of this and could even add some tips of your own to this list. But nevertheless, it makes a good read. Enjoy!

Last but not the least, my heartiest Onam wishes to all.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

The divine show-act

Imagine its a lazy sunday and you wake up all groggy eyed to see a group of all-dressed-up people bunched around you. They look quite happy. You think it's just another day and try to go back to that dream when you notice these huge vessles lined up nearby. Each of them contain a different stuff. Edible. But gooey. Not a pretty sight in the morning.

And then the worst happens.

One barely-clad-scrwany guy picks up the first vessel and empties the contents over you. Water. And very cold.

You get a minute before he pours the second stuff - oil - from the next vessel. A good measure makes way to your agape mouth. If you've ever tasted oil, you would appreciate the situation better.

Next comes mashed banana, powdered jaggery, milk, curd, rice powder, get the idea?

By the time they finish emptying the 24th vessel, you are desperately looking for a cake of soap and a nice hot shower to chip off all this stuff. All you can think of is the new shah Rukh Khan Lux ad and that oh-so-inviting bathtub.

Ha ha fat chance! All you get is a quick wash with nothing but water. Hmmmmm....maybe some lemon extract too. Of course, you remain all sticky.

Hold your sympathies in case you thought that I was the victim. Thank God for that. Or maybe thank God I am not a Goddess!

It was Prathishta Dinam (something like Foundation Day) in my family temple and this was the main attraction. 24 abhishekams. Solid 2 hours. Being a God aint that easy after all.

I didn't like this one bit. I couldn't find the meaning of such a ritual. I did ask some of the older generation about this, but interestingly nobody had anything more to say about it other than that it was a tradition and an honoured ritual and you just did stuff like this. You don't think too much about it. And then a murmur "Kids these days. They don't have faith.....what is the world coming to?"

Well, ritualism such a this somehow feels nothing more than a show-act to me. A show-act by the haves.

Couldn't stop thinking about this while walking away, especially since I knew that there was this poor family who lived right next to temple in a 10 by 10 feet mud house who didn't even know where their next meal was gonna come from. This ritual would have been a torture for them. Watching all that food being used for a puja different from pet-puja. All that food thrown away......

Saturday, September 10, 2005

I went DVD shopping today and the prices were a big revelation.

A Moserbaer DVD-R costs near about 15rs.

A Sony DVD-R costs nothing less than 38rs.

Sony buys the DVDs from Moserbaer, sticks its label and brings them out in the market. Unassuming public buy it over the cheaper stuff believing that
Higher cost = Higher quality = Higher reliability

I guess once you build up such a strong brand name, these are some of the luxuries that come along with it.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

A term break….

….is not complete without a visit to the dentist. And this time instead of the regular check-up, the visit had a cosmetic purpose too – to cement off a part of my bunny tooth which had chipped off during a fight a couple of years back.

This time instead of the usual painless dentist I go to, I had to go see another one – this one was painless too, but more like roadrunner – always on the go and he finished the work in flat 90 seconds!!!

And boy! Dentists ARE loquacious! And they don’t give you a choice. They fill your mouth with all sorts of contraptions and then ask you a million questions. You you’re your best to answer using some basic sounds and then later by some weird eye movements.

But today there was something else too. Everything was going fine. I was reclining in his easy chair with my mouth wide open, wondering when the next questions was gonna surface and bang! There it was!

“Looks like you take good care of your teeth. Not much work for me.”

“aaaa haaa” What I meant was - Thank you doctor. I try my best.

“So you studying in +2? Exams over?”

I could hear the Santoor jingle in the background quite distinctly! :)

If only I didn’t have all those pipes gurgling inside my mouth, I would have actually hummed the tune and given one of my special smiles to the doc!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

My roommate passed away yesterday

Originally uploaded by GirlWithBigEyes.
All that is left of Chops are his gossamer wings and that bright orange-red tail and the memories.

More about Chops' lineage
In the bug-eat-bug environment of the Adirondacks, a dragonfly turns out to be one of the best little friends a human being can have. Mainly, dragonflies eat flies and mosquitoes. Anything that keeps flies and mosquitoes from feeding on humans in the north woods qualifies as a force for good, and the adult dragonfly is supposed to eat something like 20 flies or mosquitoes an hour :O

They are, in fact, nature's answer to the electric backyard zappers, which bring to the great outdoors all the ambience of a dentist's office.

This guardian insect has a lot of human admirers, including the makers of at least one sci-fi horror movie. Milt Adams, a naturalist with the Adirondack Park Agency, explains that the dragonfly larva inspired makers of the movie "Alien". The larva, which can live for years before hatching into the air, has an extremely ugly mouth, which suddenly zips out and eats some unwary critter in three one-hundredths of a second. If it sounds disgustingly familiar, at least this tiny creature is on our side.

Miss you Chops!

Friday, September 02, 2005

15 months too late!

From NY Times

What would have been the second wireless camera to hit the market after Kodak’s wireless EasyShare, is now the first: the new Nikon P1, due in stores on Sept. 15. It's an iPod-size, eight-megapixel camera dressed in brushed-metal black, with a list price of $550. (A sister model, the P2, is a silver, 5.1-megapixel version that lists for $400. Online prices will be much lower once the cameras actually arrive in stores.)

We are talking about WiFi cameras here. Quick solution to memory problem.

While I was window shopping for digital cameras, this was exactly what I was looking for. When I asked the guy behind the counter whether he had any wireless enabled cams all he gave me was a blank look. It felt strange that though the wireless revolution was very much underway, no one was out with a wireless camera yet. Well…here is it now. Better late than never.

But it's gonna be some time before I think about investing in another camera :|

The author cracks a good PJ when he says
Incredibly, the P1 can't connect to the Internet at all, even when its Wi-Fi signal-strength indicator has more bars than a federal prison.

Exactly my sentiments, when it comes to Airtel connection :))


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Our library

Monday, July 19, 2010

The owls have landed!!

The owls are finished - well the sewing part now just have to find a piece of dowel and hang it on the wall! I am chuffed - so good to get something finished!! One little owl is still sleepy, not quite woken up yet! Thanks for the idea Donna! Actually this wee owl looks a little grumpy to be disturbed!!

  1. They look gorgeous, Sue! Hope to make it on weds night!

  2. Oh my, I do love this!! I adore the little sleepy owl, so me! You've done a fantastic job on this, Sue, congratulations! And the fabrics are just so right!

  3. More Owls! They certainly are gorgeous. Have you guys thought about changing your name to (Night Owls) instead of Gisborne Quilters it just seems much more appropriate with all of those owl activities that you have all been up to.
    Happy sewing ladies....


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Monthly Archives: June 2013

Obama Disarms America!

President Barack Obama may be posturing for a bilateral, that is “mutual,” reduction in nuclear warheads by BOTH the (former) Soviets and the US but here are the cold facts:

This does not do anything to reduce the Chinese arsenal which exceeded ours several years ago, which we are unable to track; moreover, WE HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW MANY NUCLEAR WARHEADS THE CHINESE HAVE!

Why are the Chinese not part of these negotiations?

What if Russia and China decide to throw in together and nuke the US?

The most important fact is this:

only the US will reduce its nuclear warheads to less than a defensive capacity of merely 300 warheads while Russia keeps all 1500 of theirs and the Chinese have more than 1900 nuclear bombs and continue to build!

Even Israel has more than 300 nukes!

In short, Barack is going to reduce US capacity in a manner that “seduces” the Russians and/or the Chinese to attack us with their overwhelming nuclear arsenals in a First Strike!

Obama has always wanted to destroy our country!

An Open Letter to Senators and Congressmen

We  know who you are but you don’t know who we are.  There are too many of us for your to know.

I write for the common man and woman.  Certainly, I am identifying myself to you.

This is how we feel, what we think and what we know:

YOU ARE ALL TRAITORS!  YOU HAVE BETRAYED US AND WE WILL NEVER FORGET the way you wielded power and sold us out for your own gain.  Enjoy your power while you may.  You will never enjoy a normal life.  One of anonymity and privacy while out in public.  Moreover, expect the public to harass you and perhaps even attack you.

Why?  Because of the way you have managed our nation, we are in a steep decline and we know we shall never rise out of this mess you have created unless we get rid of you and replace you with Constitutional legislators.

People are fast learning the differences between what you claim is your authority and our government, a series of several shells, corporate versions of these United States of America, and the real Constitutional Republic which we started as.  We are know the differences by the theft you perpetrate upon us and allow others to predate upon us.  We are learning the differences and the day is coming soon when you will called into account for your mismanagement and betrayal of we, the American people.

Don’t dare show your faces in public after trying to foist off this Immigration AMNESTY Bill bunch of lies!

The day is coming soon in which we are going to hunt you down and you will be tried for your duplicity and many crimes!

An Open Letter to my Senators Murkowski and Begich

Let me make this clear:  I regard you both as traitors and enemies.

Why?  Because you fail to support the Rule of Law and by failing to enforce our laws, you yourselves have become LAW BREAKERS!

You can’t have it both ways.  Either you are leaders and you support the Rule of Law or you are CRIMINALS!

How?  Your recent replies to my pleas to save our country are fraught with lies.  YOU ARE LIARS!

This Immigration Bill is AMNESTY and you do not fool us.

You are both traitors and if all I have is my cane, even as an old man I will denounce you publicly and throttle your asses for the asinine way you handled yourselves while in power and having authority.

If either of you was attacked publicly and it was in my power to assist and defend you, I would not help.  In fact, I would be hard pressed not to cheer on your aggressor.  Why?  Because by your support for the DESTRUCTION OF THE RULE OF LAW, you are destroying our nation!

Failing to enforce the law, is breaking the law.  And you are each worse than the Crimmigrants who have invaded and occupy us!

Speaker of the House John Boehner Must Go!

The only worse Speaker of the House of the United States Congress was been Nancy Pelosi!

Boehner is not merely ineffective, he is a traitor and he has actively oppressed the Tea Party.  BOEHNER IS A LAW BREAKER!  He refuses to enforce the laws that exist to protect our country and the American people!

When the 2012 election was over, Boehner removed every Republican who was supported by the Tea Party who held a chairmanship on any committee not only from their chairmanship but from their committee.  In other words, Boehner was gearing his House for RINO Republican sell outs, for Middle of the road “progressive” COMMUNISTS!

We need Boehner removed as Speaker of the House.  He is a TRAITOR and wants to pass Immigration AMNESTY which will destroy our country!

There is no Two Party System and the Republican Party is nothing but a bunch of Big Government Traitors!

I doubt the orderly conduct of society can continue much longer.  It’s going to take strong men and women to protect themselves.  Certainly, this federal government has long ago ceased being a protector and now is the biggest part of our problem.

Expect demonstrations by the grossly misled and riots.

As the saying goes “keep your powder dry.”

This Immigration Bill was Written by the Obama Admistration

This Immigration Bill was authored by Obama and his administration in secret and the “Gang of 8” is complicit in this fraud against the American people!

You want to know how Obama is going to “fundamentally transform America?”

Seriously, this Immigration ANMESTY is the same tactic that destroyed Rome!  By dismantling the walls (the laws) that protect and preserve a society, Obama plans upon DESTROYING AMERICA!

Don’t let him do it!  Or at least don’t let him do it without notice.

Write both of your Senators and your Congressman.  Tell them NOT to allow this AMNESTY Immigration bill to come to a vote!  Tell your Senators and the banks and Congressman to stop lying to the American people.

As it stands every Senator and Congressman is a CRIMINAL and a LAW BREAKER!  How?  Because failing to enforce the Rule of Law IS A CRIME!  Their failure to enforce our laws is a crime, actually, a series of crimes!

If you want a country and you want to future.  If you want to hold onto what few assets you have after the recent lootings by the banks and our federal leaders, YOU NEED TO ACT NOW!

Once this Immigration AMNESTY bill becomes law, America will be over.  We will never be out of debt and we will never be great again.  The weight of carrying these “Crimmigrants” will break the back of America.

Moreover, the Mexicans and Muslims who have entered out country illegally don’t care!  If anything, they want to destroy America!

Talk about a weird war!  This one has been brought upon the American people by the federal government and our traitors who consider themselves leaders!  May God forgive those Senators and Congressman and Speaker of the House John Boehner for bringing this destruction upon our nation because I can not.

Reserving Judgement on Edward Snowden

There is no other sensible route than to withhold judgement on Edward Snowden until all the data is in.  In the future, when we recover our nation and our republic, Snowden may be rightfully regarded as a hero.

I am hoping Snowden might reveal exactly how Obama plans to destroy (He may call it “transform.”) America from within.  So far, it appears Obama is following the path modeled by his Communist mentors in history, primarily in Russia, Joseph Stalin.  However, Obama in his posture reminds me of Lenin–his head cocked back defiantly.

Remember (or know) that the “communist revolution” in Russia was a Jewish movement lead from New York City financed by the “banksters” who suckered our Congress into creating the Federal Reserve System.

The First Step in Immigration Reform: A 10 Year Moratorium on All Immigration

There can be no other sane first step other than MAKING IT A CRIME TO BE IN AMERICA ILLEGALLY than calling a halt to ALL IMMIGRATION for a decade until we can sort out who and what we already have here!

The idea comes from another psychologist.  I would credit him but I am certain it might negatively impact his ability to work–we have become that “intolerant” in America that our First Amendment Free Speech Rights can not be exercised without negatively impacting those who take any stand against the status quo and our keepers.

ObamaCare Establishes Sharia Law in America!

Here is the content of an e-mail copied en toto:

Yes, snopes was checked, now let’s all get our lives in check…eh?

What does this word mean? : Health Insurance Exemptions Apr 13, 2010 … Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-muslim populations … The ObamaCare bill is the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia …,
The word “
Dhimmitude” is found in the new health care bill; so what does it mean?
Thought this was interesting and worth passing on.
Obama used it in the health care bill. Now isn’t this interesting? It is also included in the health care law.
Dhimmitude — I had never heard the word until now. I typed it into Google and started reading. Pretty interesting. It’s on page 107 of the healthcare bill. I looked this up on Google and yep, it exists.. It is a REAL word.
Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-Muslim populations conquered through jihad (Holy War). Specifically, it is the TAXING of non-Muslims in exchange for tolerating their presence AND as a coercive means of converting conquered remnants to Islam. ObamaCare allows the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia Muslim diktat in the United States . Muslims are specifically exempted from the government mandate to purchase insurance, and also from the penalty tax for being uninsured. Islam considers insurance to be “gambling”, “risk-taking”, and “usury” and is thus banned. Muslims are specifically granted exemption based on this.
How convenient. So I, as a Christian, will have crippling IRS liens placed against all of my assets, including real estate, cattle, and even accounts receivable, and will face hard prison time because I refuse to buy insurance or pay the penalty tax. Meanwhile, Louis Farrakhan will have no such penalty and will have 100% of his health insurance needs paid for by the de facto government insurance. Non-Muslims will be paying a tax to subsidize Muslims. This is Dhimmitude. I recommend sending this on to your contacts. American citizens need to know about it — : Health Insurance Exemptions Apr 13, 2010 … Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-muslim populations … The ObamaCare bill is the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia …>
Keep this going……………………..

Every non-Muslim in the United States of America needs to know about it.

Senator Marco Rubio Duped!

Senator Marco Rubio has been used and duped to get Amnesty passed before any border enforcement.  Senator Schumer has succeeded in getting the supposed Conservative Republican Senator to do the leg work to get the Amnesty Immigration bill passed.  Now, Rubio has been completely duped or is finally revealing his true hand.

The bill that is under consideration in the Senate is NOT Rubio’s bill but Schumer’s bill!

Rubio never should have tried playing this game with seasoned schmucks like Senator Schumer.  However, Rubio is a RACIST and he is ethnocentric and totally favors his Hispanic heritage over anything American–certainly over the rule of law.

With the passage of Schumer’s bill, thanks to “Dupo” Marco Rubio, America will be securely past the tipping point and will NEVER BE GREAT AGAIN.

Unless, the dominant culture that founded this nation prevails when the next judgement of God against our nation ensues with another Civil War.


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Now that Sirius and XM are merged, it makes sense that we'll get a dual tuner that picks up both flavors of satellite radio, right? WRONG. CEO Mel Karmazin, aka the dude who paid Howard Stern a retarded amount of money, said today that the merger didn't magically fuse together satellite capabilities. Says Automotive News:

Merging XM and Sirius technology and installing it in new vehicles could take as long as 15 years because of the new chips required and automakers' lead time.

Fifteen years—when your car will look like this. Karmazin said other stuff about the subscription business(es), most of it was equally depressing. (No chance of it spreading to Europe and Asia, for instance.) How long do you give satellite radio? I say dead in two years. [Automotive News (subscription required)]


text: I spied Gizmodo's Joe Brown using these blue and red pencils, and immediately wondered where they came from. Turns out they're "Slang Pencils" from Greenwich Letterpress and they come with 90's era sayings like 'Mad Props' and 'Off the Hook'. I don't know about you but I like my writing tools to be as retro cool as possible. $8 for an 8-pack. [Greenwich Letterpress]


text:
There's few things worse than a glass of flat Coke. OH WAIT, a glass of Pepsi is far worse. But anyway! An incredibly bored person wanted to find out exactly when Coke went flat so he timed it.

His method, which is completely unscientific, was to pour a glass of Coke and then count the bubbles that existed. After 34 minutes, only 6 bubbles were left. I personally think Coke stays good for at least two hours (it's heavily carbonated yo!) so I call shenanigans on this guy. Someone get Mythbusters on this. [BuzzFeed]

You can keep up with Casey Chan, the author of this post, on Twitter or Facebook.


text: Bad news for wannabe record breaker Michel Fournier. While he was foiled by weather yesterday in his attempt to freefall from 25 miles up, today he was foiled by what appears to be ineptitude. The weather was fine. The problem? His fancy balloon that was supposed to take him up so high wasn't attached properly while they were filling it and floated away. Uh, oops? No word on whether or not he's going to try again or slink away with his tail between his legs in embarrassment. When even the news broadcasters are making fun of you for failing, you know it's been a bad day. [BBC]


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Saturday, July 30, 2011

The "Idi Amin's a Scotsman Fallacy"

A lot of people on the secular left seem to want to blame Anders Behring Breivik's massacre on Christianity, as he called himself a Christian and associated his massacre with rebuilding Christian Europe.

Now, some, such as Bill O'Reilly, have tried to deny Breivik's Christianity through the "No True Scotsman" fallacy, that is, the fact he killed so many people means he isn't a true Christian. Essnetially, "No True Scotsman" is a way of begging the question.

While that is a ridiculous argument to use, there is, however, a genuine question as to what Breivik's actual beliefs were. In his manifesto, at one point he says:

"If you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and God then you are a religious Christian. Myself and many more like me do not necessarily have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and God. We do however believe in Christianity as a cultural, social, identity and moral platform. This makes us Christian."

In fact, he even refers to "Christian-agnostics" or "Christian-atheists."

Now, of course, some atheists are insisting that Breivik was a Christian, purely because he called himself one, and are defending their extremist nominalism by insisting that claiming that he wasn't is automatically the "no true Scotsman" fallacy.

Bollocks. Breivik is no Christian because he rejects Christian theology. Those who call him Christian simply because he identifies as one are engaging in extremist nominalism (that is, that words have no meaning other than denoting everything that is identified by that word - in other words, there is no definition of Christianity other than anyone who considers himself a Christian). I call this the "Idi Amin's a True Scotsman Fallacy," after Ugandan dictator Idi Amin, who referred to himself as the "last king of Scotland."

The "Idi Amin's a True Scotsman Fallacy" (i.e. the nominalist fallacy) is that by identifying with a group, you can be said to represent the group. For example, someone says that polygamy is an acceptable practice among Scotsman because the Last King of Scotland, Idi Amin, practiced polygamy. This is, of course, ridiculous, Idi Amin is neither from Scotland nor is there any evidence of significant Scottish blood as far as I know. His only claim to Scottishness is his decision to name himself the King of Scotland, which title, as far as I know, has not been recognized.

To deny that Idi Amin is a true Scotsman is not "no true Scotsman," it is maintaining a reasonable definition of Scotsman.

I should also point out that I doubt that most of those people arguing for Breivik's Christianity on nominalist groudns probably would not use the same argument if someone claimed allegiance to a group that they actually cared about. If Roissy called himself a feminist, or if David Duke called himself an anti-racist, I have a feeling that these people would pretty quickly start insisting on more formal definitions of these terms being used.

That is all.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Mark Stroman and Jerome Ersland

I'm glad they executed him. Maybe he is changed, and I'm not going to argue against personal forgiveness such as that which surviving victim Rais Bhuiyan has granted him.

But law is about more than just vengeance. It is about justice, and about setting standards for a society.

When someone kills a bunch of innocent people as retaliation for a terrorist act committed by someone else, they deserve execution.

This is as opposed to a case such as the Jerome Ersland case (which I first heard about from Lawrence Auster). While I think that Ersland's act in killing a would-be robber long after subduing him was, indeed, murder, I think that it would have been much more fair to have lowered the charges to second degree murder rather than first; even if the later shots were not justifiable, the fact that the victim was part of an armed robbery attempt should mitigate the charges somewhat.

That is all.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thought for the Day

This post from "lying eyes" ziel got me to thinking:

The not-entirely articulated fear of the (white) American Middle Class, particularly those heading toward retirement, is that the GOP wants to take away their Social Security and cut their Medicare in order to give it to the wealthy, and that the Democrats want to cut their Medicare and take away their private earnings and savings to give it to minorities.

That is all.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Minority Privilege

Appparently, the 14th amendment requires "Jim Snow" laws, according to a recent decision by the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals.

Just remember this the next time you are told about "white privilege."

That is all.
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Saturday, April 30, 2011

Movies: Fast Five

Yesterday, my sister and I went to see Fast Five. Here are the pictures:

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter Dinner

Easter Dinner

Green Beans

Yellow Rice

Mashed Sweet Potatoes

Cornbread Stuffing

Cornbread Muffins

My plate.

Easter Cupcakes.

I made cupcakes using a boxed cake mix.

In addition, I stiffen some store brought icing using some powdered sugar and placed the icing in pastry bags. I also used candy eggs to decorate the eggs.

Here are the cupcakes after I iced them:

And here they are after I added the candy eggs:

Pickled Eggs

For the pickled eggs I used:
Hard-boiled eggs
2 cups of vinegar
1 cup of water
1 teaspoon of salt
1 tablespoon of sugar
red food coloring
I dissolved the salt and sugar in the water and vinegar over medium heat. I added red food coloring until the mixture turned my desired shade of red. I allowed the mixture to cool and poured it over the hard-boiled eggs in the jar.

I placed the jar in the refrigerator to allow the eggs to turn red.
Here's a picture of the finished product:

Dyed Easter Eggs and Finished Easter Basket.

Painted Blown Easter Eggs and Finished Easter Basket.

For the Easter basket I decided to use watercolors to paint blown eggs.

Once again I used Martha Stewart's Living magazine for inspiration.

Here's the finished Easter basket:

Happy Easter - Sugar Cookies

I wanted to make a Easter Basket similar to the one on the cover of Martha Stewart's magazine. So, I decided to make cutout sugar cookies using the chick cookie template from the magazine along with a rabbit template I found online.

Here are all the ingredients I used:
  • 2/3 cup flavored shortening
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 4 teaspoons milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
1. Cream shortening and sugar in a bowl.

2. Beat in egg, milk and vanilla.

3. Combine flour, baking powder and salt; add to the creamed mixture and mix well.

4.Bake at 375° for 8-10 minutes or until cookies are golden brown. I also made some royal icing and tinted 1/2 of it a pale purple.

First, I outlined the cookie with icing.

Then, I used a thinner version of the royal icing to fill in the outline.

I allowed the icing to set for a few hours.

For the larger sugar cookie rabbit I decided to cover it with chocolate.

I placed the rabbit in the refrigerator to allow the chocolate to set.

This rabbit will later be placed in another Easter basket.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Spring Eye Look and Haul

Products Used:
M.A.C. Soft Ochre Paint Pot - Eyeshadow Base
M.A.C Chrome Yellow Eyeshadow -Inner Lid
M.A.C. Pagan Eyeshadow - Center Lid
Revlon Matte Venetian Blue Eyeshadow- Outer Lid
Lancome Dusky Plum Eyeshadow - Crease
Maybelline Copper Diamond Eyeshadow - Highlight
WetnWild Gel Eyeliner in Black
Revlon Grow Luscious Mascara in Black Shimmer


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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I really like living in Scotland. It's a wonderful place full of wonderful people.

But I am sick today.

And all I want is some GD chicken noodle soup and crackers. I'm not even shooting for the moon here by thinking I should be so lucky to find chicken and stars. I just want chicken noodle soup.

Has neither.

No chicken noodle. There is chicken and vegetables. There is chicken broth. There is cock-a-leekie, which has (in addition to a funny name) chicken, carrots, and rice. But no chicken noodle.

The crackers didn't exist in any form. PRINGLES was the closest I could find to crackers. No saltines. No Triscuits. No Ritz. They just didn't have crackers.

So the moral of the story is that tonight, when I am sick, I really miss being in the States.

The end.

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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

♥ i left my heart in SF. (part 1)

this past weekend, nick and i traveled all the way
 to beautiful san francisco to celebrate the wedding
of a couple of dear friends.

nick was participating in the wedding
(he did a reading, played the tambourine & made a toast!)
so i tagged along with him and had a chance to help out
behind the scenes & snap some shots of the gorgeous venue!

the cakes and pies looked delicious and festive,
and the couple included packages of bird seed to be
thrown as they made their way out of the
lovely garden setting.

"love is the ultimate outlaw. it just won't adhere to any rules.
the most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice.
instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to
aid and abet. that would mean that security is out of the question.
the words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate.
my love for you has no strings attached.
i love you for free. "
♥ tom robbins

as you can see, it was a pretty glamorous affair :)

2 ♥ love notes.:

  1. Looks like you had a wonderful time!

  2. You look beautiful, and this wedding looks like a blast! So glad you had such a good time out there. Can't wait to see the rest of your SF photos :)

♥ tell me how you really feel!


text:
Monday, June 20, 2016

The three middle classes and populism

In November this year American voters will choose between populism and plutocracy. The choice was clearly highlighted in my Global Inequality (Chapter 4) written more than a year ago although at that time I could not anticipate the extraordinary rise of Donald Trump.

That rise, combined with the populist reaction against globalization, immigration and foreigners, has become the staple of newspaper and magazine articles to the extent that some, like in the recent New York Review of Books, claim (of course with the hindsight) that populism was both inevitable and predictable. It is, not only in the United States, but also in the UK, France, Denmark, Sweden and elsewhere fueled (as is commonly argued), by the very slow or nil real income growth of the middle-income groups in rich countries. The graph below (based on Luxembourg Income Study data) shows this clearly: the shares of the middle four deciles have declined over the past 30 years by between 1 and 4 GDP points in key developed countries. The phenomenon therefore is not only American: it is common to all rich countries.

But while the origins of populism in the West seem well understood and “reasonable” in the sense that populism is driven by the economic slowdown,  a similar process of rising populism in China seems difficult to explain because it is accompanied not by a declining but by a rising middle class.  The modernization theory leads us to believe that the rising share of the middle class should propel democratization. In effect, this is what we have observed over the past 40 years, from the Carnation Revolution to Portugal  to the fall of Communism or the spread of democracy in South Korea and Taiwan and in all of Latin America.

Could China be an exception to this “regularity”? It is the same question probably that the Communist party leaders ask themselves. If they answer it in the affirmative, they would be throwing in the towel in a fight to maintain their rule. Since they seem unwilling to do so, and are becoming  aware that the ideology of “GDPism”, founded on an infinite growth of real incomes by close to double-digit numbers, cannot be maintained,  they have tried to move the public opinion in the direction of populism, whether of mild Maoist or of soft nationalist kind. Neither of these two tendencies is yet strong enough or sufficiently poisonous, but the potential to crank it up if needed is there. Thus, in the Chinese case, the rising tide of populism is not caused by an economic failure but on the contrary by economic success which is making the maintenance of the old political system more difficult, or is incompatible with it. This is a contradiction between the development of the forces of production and inadequacy of the superstructure that every Marxist would easily recognize.

The third populist reaction is taking place in Russia. It is fueled by yet a different force. Certainly not  by too much economic success, nor so much by economic failure, but by unjust privatizations and by resentment and revanchism, the two feelings that go back to the end of the Cold War that was (mistakenly) interpreted in the West as the victory over Russia. It is this narrative that Putin and the Russian middle classes find abhorrent and which is at the root of their malign populism and nationalism. It is wrong to see it as manufactured by the top; it is more that the top has given it the right to express itself, in a way that the rise of Trump in the United States did not by itself produce populism, but made its expression more acceptable. While in the past people felt some inhibition to air strong xenophobic or racist views, that inhibition is gone when the political leaders freely express such views and moreover get political support for doing so.

Those who therefore personalize the problem and look at Trump, Xi or Putin as somehow guilty of “creating” populism and inflating xenophobia are only partially right. Trump, Xi and Putin allowed populist feelings to express themselves  but did not invent them.  Populism existed before and was based on real and understandable reasons. The diagnosis that sees the cause of our problems primarily in several politicians leads us then to prescribe a wrong remedy. A very imperfect remedy consists in trying to stop such politicians from coming to power or overthrowing them. Such a remedy does not contribute at all to the solution of the underlying problem which either brought them to power, or close to taking power.

A real remedy has to start with the correct diagnosis. And the correct diagnosis is that in the US, populism is rooted in the failure of globalization to deliver palpable benefits to its working class, in Russia, it is rooted in its crony capitalism and inability (or unwillingness) of the West to include Russia as an equal partner, and in China, it is rooted in an inadequate political system. Once we see the correct cause of the problem, we can begin to try to solve it. Otherwise, the sickness of populism, which for all problems blames globalization and foreigners, in the three major powers that control 98% of all nuclear weapons in the world, is indeed a cause for major concern.

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The use of drones have been revolutionary in the field of film and photography. From the traditional use of a helicopter with a telephoto lens,  to drones that can fly below 100ft with super wide angle lens, the sudden change in perspective and elevation from a drone now creates more intimacy creates perspectives that have never been seen before. We specialize in 4K aerial cinematography and high resolution aerial photography for private and commercial clients.

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Chevron's New Ad Campaign Is a Slick Yes Men Hoax [Update]

David Zax
Monday, October 18, 2010

If we had to get punked, we're glad it was by the Yes Men, who have quite a track record of pulling really convincing stunts. Their slightly off URL,, was a spitting-image spoof of the real Also, Yes Men hucksters clearly watche Mad Men as often as we do and were riding high from Don Draper's nuclear-option "Why I'm Quitting Tobacco" letter in the New York Times.

Yes Men's version involved an ad with a smiling elderly indigenous man wearing a bandana, with the words "OIL COMPANIES SHOULD CLEAN UP THEIR MESSES," along with a red stamp that reads "We Agree"--followed by the signatures of Chevron higher-ups.

The ad was supposed to be a reference to a years-long lawsuit in Ecuador, where Chevron is accused of being responsible for $27 billion of oil pollution clean-up costs. refers to the Ecuadorian lawsuit as "a meritless case"; according to the Christian Science Monitor, Chevron has taken out quarter-page newspaper ads with defensive headlines like "the fraud of the century." Nevertheless, Ecuadorians appeared to be the heroes of Chevron's new ad campaign. It was fake, we now know.

In retrospect, it does seem ridiculous that any oil company would take such aggressive responsibility for oil spills, poor industry safety, and exploitation of foreign resources. (The real ad campaign, specimens of which you can see here, makes less controversial statements: "Oil Companies Need to Get Real" and "Oil Companies Should Put Their Profits To Good Use," for instance.) Further evidence of the Yes Men spoof's bogusness: each of these ad spots claimed an opportunity for improvement, which featured, in the words of the mock press release, "an authentic pop-culture street-art aesthetic, and ... a sincere slogan followed by a big red 'We Agree' stamp."

Street art!

"Chevron is making a clean break from the past," supposedly said Chevron's VP of Policy, Government and Public Affairs Rhonda Zygocki in the release, "by taking direct responsibility for our own actions." Zygocki also is quoted as saying: "We're telling truths no one usually tells. We're changing the way the whole industry speaks."

Though Rhonda Zygocki is a real person and was correctly identified in the spoof press release, she said nothing of the sort. (What she actually said, in the authentic press release sent to us later by an actual Chevron spokesman, was the following: "We hear what people say about oil companies – that they should develop renewables, support communities, create jobs and protect the environment – and the fact is, we agree.")

The kicker, of course, was the claim that the Don Draper-style radical honesty gambit appeared to be the work of Chief Creative Officer Gordon Bowen. "We were asked to show an agreeable, involved, of-the-people face for Chevron," Bowen is quoted as saying, "and we think we came up with some really great ways of doing that."

Bravo, Yes Men. Although, a Chevron representative who eventually got back to us did not share quite the same type of good humor about this. He had other calls to make this morning.

Related issues: