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Mission Statement

The Unitarian Universalist Legislative Ministry of Maryland (UULM-MD) is a statewide advocacy network of Unitarian Universalists. We work to educate, mobilize, and coordinate UUs on specific issues before the Maryland General Assembly. Working in coalition with established state and national organizations, we as UUs model a reverence for the interdependent web of all existence which fosters justice, health and equity in society.  We encourage you to join us on this journey as we engage Marylanders, expand freedom and nurture an inclusive, life affirming system of government.

Racial Justice

In June of this year, the Unitarian Universalist Association’s General Assembly adopted an Action of Immediate Witness in support of the Black Lives Matter movement.  The statement read, in part: “The 2015 General Assembly urges member congregations to engage in intentional learning spaces to organize for racial justice with recognition of the interconnected nature of racism coupled with systems of oppression that impact people based on class, gender identity, sexual orientation, ability and language…the 2015 General Assembly recognizes that the fight for civil rights and equality is as real today as it was decades ago and urges member congregations to take initiative in collaboration with local and national organizations fighting for racial justice against the harsh racist practices to which many black people are exposed."

As a member organization engaged in promoting Unitarian Universalist values in civic life, it is imperative that we heed this call, not only from our General Assembly, but from recent tragedies and important dialogues throughout the nation, along with the sensibilities shared and intuited within our justice work.  As a legislative ministry, the Board of UULM-MD is committed to approaching each action issue through the lens of systems of oppression, to deepen in understanding of the impact of policies on communities and individuals of color and to encourage intentional anti-racism/anti-oppression sensibilities.

UULM-MD is you!

UULM-MD is a collective voice of liberal religious values in our state. UULM-MD is comprised of anyone interested in making their voice heard in Annapolis on issues that advance freedom, equality and justice.

Our work is grounded in the belief that everyone should be able to exercise their basic human rights to achieve their fullest potential and to live in a clean, sustainable environment. In the last decade, UULM-MD has played a significant role in statewide education about and advocacy for marriage equality, environmental protections, increasing the availability of clean energy, death penalty repeal, preventing gun violence, transgender civil rights, increasing the minimum wage, the DREAM Act and advances in health care for all. Unitarian Universalist voices and sensibilities are now an integral part of the dialogue in Annapolis, due to dedicated advocacy through this legislative ministry.

To enhance the effectiveness of our activism, we remain mindful of the strong UU traditions of independent thought and witnessing for human rights, civil liberties and the protection of our environment. Supported and inspired by these beliefs, we work to achieve consensus among our base, then mobilize as advocates for specific Maryland issues. Partnering with like-minded
coalitions and organizations as well as working with legislators, UULM-MD provides a voice for UU principles and traditions in the discussion of issues by:

  • Identifying priority legislation and informing Marylanders through issue coordinators and
    task forces;
  • Providing educational programs, speakers and materials on these issues;
  • Holding an annual meeting for presentation, debate and strategizing on issues to be addressed;
  • Mobilizing and facilitating testimony, writing legislators and witnessing;
  • Providing updates on the status of bills, hearings and actions.

UULM-MD 2017 Officers and Board of Directors

The UULM-MD Board elected Steve Buckingham ( UU Congregation of Frederick) as Chair, Craig Beyler as Vice Chair and Jan Bird (UU Church of Annapolis) as Treasurer for 2017.

Additional members of the Board are Rev. Amy Williams Clark (Cedarhurst UU), Craig Beyler (UU Church of Annapolis), Elizabeth Bobo (UU Congregation of Columbia), Don Chery (River Road UU Congregation), Betty McGarvie Crowley (UU Church of Annapolis), Rev. David Carl Olson (First Unitarian Church of Baltimore), Alonzo Smith (UU Congregation of Rockville).  Julie Anne Schafer, (First Unitarian Church of Baltimore) is Coordinator.


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1006-715 Hewitson Street, Thunder Bay ON P7B 6B5
Tel: (807) 623-6420 • Fax: (807) 623-6180 • info@uwaytbay.ca

Changed lives, made possible by you.

Thank you for your support

Community Kitchen Helping Families

Our Kids Count (OKC) is a non-profit community development organization, which empowers individuals to build stronger families and inclusive communities by enhancing people’s lives through personal growth and development. OKC provides community-based programs built on the needs identified by the families we serve.  The programs offered include United Way supported parenting groups and community kitchen nutrition programs, as well as many others.  “Our group learns and grows from each other. We are like a family. We accept each other and care for each other’s children as if they were our own” says one Young Parents Program participant. The programs that are offered develop self-esteem, peer leadership and peer support while remaining flexible, economical and accessible.  “To me OKC staff are like an extended family. I can be myself and talk about anything with anyone” says Chrissy, an OKC program participant and volunteer.

Our Kids Count has 2 locations; one at 704 McKenzie Avenue, and the other at 1315 Crawford Avenue. To increase our focus on nutrition and food security, our Community Kitchen programs are now offered to all demographics, including: older adults, children, youth and teens, individuals with special needs, and men. Our kitchens offer a space where families and   community come together to cook inexpensive meals to take home, share ideas and knowledge around food, and develop new friendships. It is a multi-purpose space where people in the community can learn valuable skills and celebrate food, culture and traditions. The kitchen is designed to help families prepare nutritious, affordable and healthy meals and can provide permanent, regular access, to a clean, secure, fully furnished kitchen facility, six days per week.  “Each Tuesday afternoon I am able to cook a week's quantity of nutritious meals that fit within the parameters of my health-restricted diet. Without the kind, generous and always politely helpful assistance of this organization and its staff, I cannot perceive that I would otherwise have been able to faithfully observe my diet. I am most appreciative of and grateful for their help” says Stephen, who accesses OKC’s Community Kitchen.

Trained volunteer leaders support participants in a friendly, ‘home-like’ facility with access to small appliances such as blenders, mixers, slow-cookers and bread-machines.  Our Kids Count has been in operation since 1995 and received charitable designation in April of 1998. We also partner with many other community agencies and organizations to offer diverse programming to our community. All programs are free of charge and we offer nutritious snacks and qualified childcare to participants in programs, everyone is welcome.

Our Kids Count main office is located at 704 McKenzie Street and can be reached at 623-1530

United Way of Thunder Bay is leading the way to a better community by improving the quality of life for all local people. By collaborating with community partners, we are leading the way to addressing social issues in our community and investing in three critical areas: Poverty, Kids and Strong Communities. Donations to the United Way are strategically invested across Thunder Bay to many vital programs and initiatives in these areas, creating a social safety net that works to achieve lasting change for our neighbours, families and friends.

+1 807 623-6420

© 2018 United Way of Thunder Bay

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text:
1006-715 Hewitson Street, Thunder Bay ON P7B 6B5
Tel: (807) 623-6420 • Fax: (807) 623-6180 • info@uwaytbay.ca

Changed lives, made possible by you.

Thank you for your support

United Way of Thunder Bay - Thank You - Outstanding Organizations

Outstanding Organizations

Support from organizations in the community is so important and sometimes a few truly go above and beyond.  We would like to thank some of them.

United Way of Thunder Bay is leading the way to a better community by improving the quality of life for all local people. By collaborating with community partners, we are leading the way to addressing social issues in our community and investing in three critical areas: Poverty, Kids and Strong Communities. Donations to the United Way are strategically invested across Thunder Bay to many vital programs and initiatives in these areas, creating a social safety net that works to achieve lasting change for our neighbours, families and friends.

+1 807 623-6420

© 2018 United Way of Thunder Bay


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Lynsey Tomlinson and Gordon Howie with their Best Film Award at the Odeon Cinema, Leicester Square, London. Advertisements

Guest Speaker: Bernard MacLaverty

Tuesday 9th November is a special day on campus because that’s when a high-profile guest speaker comes down from Glasgow to talk to the students. Bernard MacLaverty is a novelist, short story writer, screenwriter and, in his latest guise, a director. It is no exaggeration to say that he links classic Northern Irish/Scottish writing with … Continue reading

Eleanor Yule: Ask the Universe

Eleanor Yule, professional screenwriter and film director, who teaches screenwriting every Tuesday afternoon on the Ayr campus, has written another feature film. A romantic comedy, Ask the Universe is a compelling, funny, unpredictable and powerful story with the comic genius of Local Hero and the timeless romance of Sleepless in Seattle but also with a … Continue reading

John Agnew & Louis Kramer-Sight and Sound Masterclasses.

“When you hear the advice of someone who is actually involved in the industry it makes all the difference to making your own films”

Scottish Production Archive: Paddy Higson

University of the West of Scotland: Scottish Production Archive. Glasgow Film Theatre: 16.00 Sunday 10th October. From the early films of Bill Forsyth through to her own work as Producer on key films like “Silent Scream”, Paddy Higson has a fair claim to being the mother of the Scottish film industry. A phenomenal encourager of … Continue reading

UWS Lecturers At FilmG Workshop Weekend on Skye

Stuart Hepburn  and Michael Hines who both lecture on the new Contemporary Screen Acting Programme at UWS spent a Creative Weekend at Sabhal Mor Ostaig on Skye as part of the FilmG Gaelic Short Film programme from the 20 to the 22nd of August. Michael Hines, who has directed such comedies as Chewing The Fat … Continue reading

Whisky Galore!, Rockets Galore! and Island Studies

Scottish Centre for Island Studies Faculty of Business and Creative Industries Screening and Research Event Venue: CCA, Sauchiehall Street Glasgow
 Thursday 9th September 2010 The Scottish Centre for Island Studies, in association with the Small Islands Film Trust, is hosting a small research focussed event of film screenings and related discussions on the 9th September … Continue reading

New programme : BA (Hons) Contemporary Screen Acting validated.

The School Of Creative and Cultural Industries is delighted to announce the validation of our latest programme, the  BA (Hons) Contemporary Screen Acting.  This  exciting new  programme will  sit alongside our  highly successful BA (Hons) Performance , and BA (Hons) Musical Theatre degrees. The honours degree starts at Level 9 (3rd Year) and  takes two … Continue reading

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Thursday, August 25, 2016

I wrote a set of simple shell commands a little while back.  I actually ended up using them pretty regularly (quick and dirty source control, manual merging of configuration files, editing large compressed and delimited files in place, etc...).  Since they save some non-trivial keystrokes, I cleaned up the code and pushed it to github.  Likewise, I built a python package and published it via PyPI.

The package is called sh-utils.  The commands are...

pm - move p to p'
cpm - copy p to p'
upm - undo p to p'
sw - swap two paths
pt - pivot file over a command
pts - pivot file over a command (stdin)

There are descriptions on the github and PyPI pages, but I'll try to go into a bit more detail.

The three pm commands are mostly meant to work with path (file, directory, pipe, socket, etc...) backups.  For example, it's fairly reasonable to move or copy a file to a .bak (.old, .orig, etc...).  Vice versa, it's fairly reasonable to want to undo it.  So, pm takes a list of paths and moves them safely to a backup by prefixing (-p) or suffixing (-s) a value to the path name.  Likewise, cpm does the same, but copies the path instead of moving it.  upm safely undoes both of them.

For example, making a backup before editing a file...

~ cpm foo

To recover it...

~ upm foo\'

They're additive and subtractive as well, so it's easy to keep a stack of path(s) backups.  Unfortunately, that can make things a bit messy and possibly painful.  So, instead of having to run upm a bunch of times to unwind an stack of backups, upm has a flag (-a) that conflates the latest and earliest paths in a single command.

The next command is sw, which swaps two paths.  Normally swapping two paths takes a few commands and a pivot file (move a path to a pivot, move second to first, move the pivot to the second).  Instead, sw does everything in one command and as close to atomically as possible.

For example, swapping a file with its backup...

~ sw foo foo\'

~ sw foo*

Last are two pivot commands.  Similar to sw, doing something in place on a file normally needs more than one step and a pivot file.  Instead, pt and pts do everything in one command and as close to atomically as possible.

Normally I would sort a file...

~ sort foo > foo\'
~ mv foo\' foo

With pt...

~ pt sort foo

Finally, pts is similar to pt except it passes the file on stdin, which can be useful for pipelines.

For example, if you wanted to uncompress a delimited file, sort it, parse it, square a column, and re-compress it, normally it would be...

~ xz -dc foo.xz | sort | awk '{ print \$1, \$2 * \$2 }' | xz > foo.xz\'
~ mv foo.xz\' foo.xz

Instead, with pts...

~ pts sh -c "xz -d | sort | awk '{ print \$1, \$2 * \$2 }' | xz" foo.xz

If anyone ends up using these and you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Hypertext Browsing

I tend to browse the web using Firefox with some basic plugins, which probably is true for most people (Chrome, Safari, etc...).  It's overkill for a lot of things though.  A lot of the time, all I really need is a way to enter a URL, render some text, search for some text, follow links, and possibly enter text into forms.  All of these can be done with a slightly simpler browser, w3m.

If you are resource constrained, you prefer working strictly with text, or you don't have access to a graphics environment, w3m can come in handy.  The footprint is a few orders of magnitude less than the graphical variants, and it's meant for keyboard navigation.

The motions are probably familiar to anyone who's used Vi/Vim before.

<h>- left
<j>- down
<k>- up
<l>- right
<w>- next word
<^>- line start
<$>- line end

Directional keys can also be used.  Navigating links and input fields is generally the same as the graphical browsers.

<tab>- next field
<s-tab>- previous field

Instead of the mouse, w3m gives a menu for links, which can be slightly faster than using a mouse (see Fitts' Law).

<esc-m>- link list (move)
<esc-l>- link list (follow)

Another easy way to navigate is searching for text.  Again, Vi/Vim users will probably recognize the default key bindings.

</>- search forward
<?>- search backward

Last, to open new URLs and tabs...

<U>- open URL
<T>- new tab

There are more complex combinations, but the above should be a good start.  The full set of navigation and configuration options can be found in the man page as well as the help screen (<H>).

Putting it all together...

One of the things I've found w3m is good for is as a basic interface for things that have a form of HTTP/HTML API.

It's admittedly limited, depending on the protocol or features sites you try to browse rely on.  Support for more recent protocols (SPDY, HTML5, AJAX, etc...) is decidedly lacking.

Although, on the development side, it's also useful for a number of things like navigating doxygen/javadoc, parsing jhat output, and even browsing wikipedia.

It's also useful to work with from the command line.

~ watch -n 10 w3m -dump

I combine it with other things like tmux, mutt, vim and emacs which makes it a little more useful, but the above are some of the basics.

Downloads, documentation, etc... can be found on w3m's homepage for anyone curious.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Dynamic Programming

I was going through another project euler problem, and the solution ended up being a example of dynamic programming.  I've gone through project euler solutions in the past, so I thought it might be interesting to walk through another.

In short, dynamic programming is a way of using cached information to optimize choice in a recursive problem.  By eliminating the non-optimal choices, it reduces the complexity (possibly exponentially).  It's actually a bit of an understated concept, since a lot of problems can naturally be expressed with recursion.  A lot of the problems are also generally not feasible without it.  Obviously the larger the problem, the larger the run-time improvement.

The specific problem has to do with optimally traversing a graph.  Since the problem was simple enough, I ended up writing the solution in yasm (amd64) assembly.

"Find the maximum total from top to bottom in triangle.txt, a 15K text file containing a triangle with one-hundred rows."

So, a valid move on the graph follows a directed edge to the left or right child.  An exhaustive search is $\Theta(n2^{n-1})$ with respect  to height ($n$ nodes per path, $2^{n-1}$ paths).  It's estimated there are $10^{80}$ atoms in the known universe.  So given only a few hundred rows, the number of distinct traversals possible is roughly equivalent to the number of atoms in all of known existence.

Obviously, a pointer based tree structure implies the complexity, since it implies an exhaustive search.  However, there are more ways than one to represent a tree.  One possible representation to avoid the complexity is the same layout that's used for heaps (Eytzinger).

Finally, the dynamic programming step is comparing each of the possible traversals, and caching the optimal one as if it had been taken...

   segment .data

a   dq \
0, \
59, \
73, 41, \
l   equ     100

    segment .bss

    segment .text

    global _start

    xor     rsi, rsi
    mov     rdi, 1
    mov     rdx, 1

    inc     rdx
    cmp     rdx, l
    cmovg   rax, [a + rsi*8]
    jg      max

    mov     rcx, rdx
    mov     rbx, rcx
    shl     rbx, 3
    inc     rsi
    inc     rdi

    mov     rax, [a + rsi*8]
    add     [a + rdi*8], rax
    mov     rax, [a + rsi*8 + rbx - 16]
    add     [a + rdi*8 + rbx - 8], rax
    dec     rcx

    inc     rdi

    dec     rcx
    jz      level

    mov     rax, [a + rsi*8]
    inc     rsi
    cmp     rax, [a + rsi*8]
    cmovl   rax, [a + rsi*8]
    add     [a + rdi*8], rax

    inc     rdi

    jmp     next

    dec     rdx
    jz      _end

    inc     rsi
    cmp     rax, [a + rsi*8]
    cmovl   rax, [a + rsi*8]

    jmp     max

    xor     rdi, rdi
    mov     rax, 60

With dynamic programming, run-time becomes $2n^2 - 4n - 4$ or $O(n^2)$ (the math is left as an exercise).

And final execution time is...

real     0m0.001s
user    0m0.000s
sys      0m0.000s

So, other than what would probably be an extremely large scale solution taking the intuitive approach,  the problem is essentially infeasible.  Using dynamic programming, the problem can be solved in under a millisecond.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sony PRS

I bought a Sony PRS a while ago, which I've been using a decent amount.  Managing books was a bit cumbersome though.  Copying anything onto it normally needs a computer, a USB connection, and management software.  Thankfully, I was able to simplify it a bit.

The PRS has a built-in 802.11g radio, so obviously data was already being transmitted over ethernet.  It also has a web browser, so again it obviously supported HTTP.  Normally the browser only supports text/html though, which precluded a lot of stuff I actually wanted it for.

PRS+ helped fix this.  It implements a lot of the things I thought were missing from the stock firmware; specifically non-html MIME type support.  Actually it integrates this with the stock browser, which even made a user friendly interface possible.  Authentication and encrypted HTTP unfortunately aren't implemented, which could make using it outside of home a bit impractical, but downloading from sites like project gutenberg normally doesn't need either.

Finally, to make everything I wanted to be able to read available via HTTP, I setup an apache webserver with mod_autoindex.  The mod_autoindex module isn't completely necessary,  but it gives nice HTML listings for directories which makes things a bit more user friendly.

Et, voila...

A big thank you to the PRS+ developers, otherwise I would have been stuck.  For anyone curious, it adds a lot over the stock firmware (file browser, screenshots, etc...).

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Algorithm Complexity

I've been going through project euler problems lately, and they tend to be good examples of how algorithm complexity can be important.  With a lot of them, reducing complexity takes a little insight.  I thought it might be interesting to walk through a solution.

To high level refresh, the complexity of some $f(n)$ that describes an algorithm can be characterized using...

$O$ - asymptotic upper bound
$\Omega$ - asymptotic lower bound
$\Theta$ - asymptotic upper and lower bound

There are also...

$o$ - exclusive asymptotic upper bound
$\omega$ - exclusive asymptotic lower bound

The specific problem has to do with triangle numbers.  All code is haskell.

"What is the value of the first triangle number to have over five hundred divisors?"

The obvious algorithm is to compute each triangle number by summing, and iterate over the integers from one to the number counting each divisor.  The code for this is straightforward.

main = putStrLn $ show $ (fst . head)
                         (filter ((>500) . snd) (zip t (map divs t)))
       where t = map tri [1..]
tri n = sum [1..n]
divs 0 = 0
divs n = length $ filter (\n' -> n `mod` n' == 0) [1..n]

It's simple, and it is correct.  However, it's impractical.

Consider the complexity.  The run-time to sum $1..n$ is $n$.  The run-time to iterate over all possible divisors of triangle number $n$ is $\frac{n^2 + n}{2}$.

This gives a complexity of $\Theta(n^2)$.   Since by definition the value being searched for has more than 500 divisors, the complexity to test each triangle number is impractical.

However, there is a practical solution.  Furthermore, it only requires some optimization.  Before eliminating the asymptotic bottleneck though, there is a simple strength reduction.

The $\Theta(n)$ algorithm to compute $\sum\limits_{i=1}^n i$ can easily be replaced with an $O(1)$algorithm.

tri n = (n^2 + n) `quot` 2

This equation sums $1..n$.  It's often attributed to Carl Friedrich Gauss as an anecdote  It reduces run-time to $\frac{n^2 + n}{2} + 1$ which is still $\Theta(n^2)$.  So, again it doesn't eliminate the asymptotic bottleneck.  Optimizing the algorithm to count divisors takes a bit more insight.

import Data.List (find, group)
import Data.Maybe (fromMaybe)
main = putStrLn $ show $ (fst . head)
                         (filter ((>500) . snd) (zip t (map divs t)))
    where t = map tri [1..]
facts :: Int -> [Int]
facts x
    | (x < head pms) = []
    | otherwise = h : facts (x `div` h)
    where h = fromMaybe x (find (\y -> ((x `mod` y) == 0))
                              (takeWhile (<= isqrt x) pms))
pms :: [Int]
pms = sieve (2 : [3,5..])
sieve :: [Int] -> [Int]
sieve (p:xs) = p : sieve [ x | x <- xs, x `mod` p > 0 ]
tri :: Int -> Int
tri n = (n^2 + n) `quot` 2
isqrt :: Int -> Int
isqrt = truncate . sqrt . fromIntegral
divs :: Int -> Int
divs 1 = 1
divs x = product $ map ((+1) . length) ps
    where ps = group $ facts x

This algorithm is based on a simple consequence of the fundamental theorem of arithmetic.  Instead of iterating over all integers below $\frac{n^2 + n}{2}$, it counts the combinations of prime factors.  This replaces the $\frac{n^2 + n}{2}$ algorithm to find divisors with a $2\sqrt{\frac{n^2 + n}{2}}$ or $O(n)$ algorithm, since it only iterates over the primes below $\sqrt{\frac{n^2 + n}{2}}$

The realized run-time actually has a tighter bound, since prime numbers tend to grow more sparse further on the number line.  However, knowing a bound of $O(n)$ is sufficient given the  problem.

The execution time for the final version is...

real     0m0.037s
user    0m0.034s
sys      0m0.002s

There is still room for micro-optimization (starting at 14410396, better cpu utilization, etc...).  However, these would likely only give constant factor speedups.  More importantly though, optimizing the complexity turned the impractical algorithm, into an algorithm that finds a solution in less than a second.


text:
Sears: Craftsman 54 pc. Driving Set ONLY $12.49

Craftsman 54 pc. Driving Set

Craftsman has a great deal on this 54 pc. driving set! You can get this for ONLY $12.49!! Reg. Price is $24.99!! Don’t forget to use your points on this purchase. You may be able to get it for FREE, I did! Makes a perfect gift to give this Christmas.

54 Pc. Driver And Bit Set Is A Great Starter
Few people ever have the luxury of having the perfect tool for every job, but this Craftsman 54 pc. driving set offers enough variety that you’ll find exactly what you need for a lot of your work, at home or on the job. The wide assortment of accessories-various nut setters plus bits ranging in length from one inch to three-end the frustrating trips to the hardware store. The Speed-Lok quick connector in the set ends the frustration of slowing down the change bits.
The tools in this 54 pc. driver and bit set are great for working with a variety of materials, including soft metals, wood and plastic. Use them for woodworking, home repairs and tackling that honey-do list inside and outside the house.

If you love sales, deals, freebies, and giveaway’s…Make sure to add me as your personal shopper, so that you never miss updates and deals. I will help you with your holiday shopping and make sure you know about all the great deals. Having a Personal Shopper makes your life easier.

Get startedit’s free!
Sign in to, or sign up for, your Shop Your Way account
Go to my link
Click the ‘Become a Client’ button to begin and start saving.

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Couplet at Brisbane Square Library

On Friday 4 April I’ll be sharing the Couplet limelight with Scott Sneddon, aka Scott Wings – one of our land’s premier performance talents. Scott’s just returned to Brisbane after rave reviews at the Adelaide Fringe Festival.

Couplet is a monthly event, hosted by David Stavanger who is the Reader in Residence at the Brisbane Square Library. Couplet is about pairing two voices together for an hour of poetry, and the pairing of very different voices is what makes this event so exciting. It’s also a little bit ‘page’ vs ‘stage’ in nature, so if you are curious about the differences between a page poet and a performance poet, then this event is definitely for you!

I’ll be reading primarily new material from a current manuscript and also from a special project that I’m working on with John Koenig.  This is my first feature reading for the year so I’m looking forward to stepping up to the mic and sharing some new work. There’ll also be copies of Confessional Box there on the night in case anyone still wants to pick up a copy.

Now, the details:

Friday 4 April 2014

Brisbane Square Library, 266 George Street Brisbane

FREE and no need to book.

More information is available on Facebook or the library website.

2 Responses to “Couplet at Brisbane Square Library”

  1. March 20, 2014 at 7:40 am

    Reblogged this on MirrorMosaicOfSounds and commented:
    If you’re not following Vanessa Page, get on board now.
    The performance at the library on 4 April is not to be missed.
    Scott and ness are both great entertainers and talented poets.
    Get your flights to Brisbane booked.

  2. 2 Julie Lynch
    April 3, 2014 at 7:32 am

    Wish I could be there but I can’t possibly make it. Wishing you and Scott well with you inserts and excerpts!

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What is a “Free Spirit”?

I think it’s sad that when you try to explain to someone that you are a “free spirit”, they automatically think “Okay, so you’re a hippie slut.” For example, one of the definitions on Urban Dictionary for free spirit is actually “Slutty; in a 70s way.”
Can someone please explain to me what the hell that even means?

To be a free spirit is not to be a slut. I cannot stress this enough.
I was talking to one of my ex-boyfriends one day, just trying to explain my mindset to him, and I finally got frustrated and just said “I don’t know. I’m young and I’m dumb sometimes. I’m just a free spirit.” His automatic response was to say that I am a whore, which is completely untrue.
So, what exactly is a “free spirit” if it’s not an easy hippie? A free spirit is someone who is able to think for themselves. A free spirit is someone who doesn’t automatically do things the way that society thinks that they should be done. Basically, a free spirit truly is a nonconformist.

My mind works so much different than most people that I know. I’m the type of person who loves relentlessly, and does everything that she can to be self aware in every aspect. I live my life for myself, yet not in a selfish way at all. I live my life trying to grow as a person and understand those around me. I try very hard to be empathetic and understand people and their emotions, the way that they handle situations.
Recently, I’ve went through the hardest breakup I’ve ever been through. In the beginning stages of moving on, I genuinely believed that there was no hope whatsoever. I believed that I was going to die if I didn’t have him back. One day, though, I decided that it was time to completely change my mindset, and it’s the best thing that I’ve ever done. Instead of searching for the negative day in and day out, I decided to really change my perspective and look at the positive things that are coming from moving on with my life without a man in my life.
This is when I truly started to see beauty in everything around me. I started to see the good things in life, the things that I could hold into to shape me into a beautiful soul. Instead of looking at our breakup in the “How will I survive without him” way, I changed my thinking to “If we wouldn’t have broken up, I never would have done what I needed to do in order to fight off my demons.” The entire situation with my ex made me realize that I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was within our relationship. I thought that he was the love of my life, but I realized that I’m not ready to meet the love of my life yet.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to be young and dumb. It’s okay to make bad decisions occasionally. It’s what helps you grow into yourself. It’s what helps you decide the type of person that you’re going to be.
I’m living my life freely. I’m not planning anything out anymore. I’m getting to know new people and getting to know myself for who I truly am and what my heart truly wants. I’m not listening to the people around me who are saying: “You will never be successful unless you go to school. You don’t have the money to move away and make it on your own. You will never be able to [insert whatever it is here] unless you go to college first.” blah. blah. blah.
None of those things are true. I just don’t live my life as a robot. I live my life for myself. I do what makes me happy in the moment, and honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I promise you that if you live your life with spontaneity and do what makes you happy and not worry about anything or anyone has to say except you, then you will experience life for everything that it is.
I’m so much more appreciative of everything and everyone around me. I am learning to be empathetic. I’m learning to see beauty in the darkness. I’m learning that being an optimist truly changes your mood. The way that you think truly matters when you are searching for the right road to take. I’m learning to be free, I’m learning to be me.

Letting Go of Control

I was sitting at my piano the other day trying to think of a song that I could play and sing to take my mind off of some things that were happening. Most of the time, my go-to artist for situations like this is Paramore, simply because their music is simple, yet powerful. I chose to sit down with the chords to a song off of their latest self-titled album called “Last Hope”.

When I first started to sing the song, I realized instantly that my heart was filling up with emotion. I had heard this song multiple times since the album has been released, and honestly, it’s one of my favorite tracks on the whole album, but it didn’t dawn on me how accurate the lyrics were to my life until the moment that they came out of my mouth.

I don’t even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy by now
But the more I try to push it
I realize – Gotta let go of control

Gotta let it happen
So let it happen

This is the first verse in the song, and after singing it, my heart immediately filled up with sadness and self revelation. After being engaged for the previous 1 1/2 years, I really didn’t think for a single second that I could be where I am right now. I never thought that we would be apart. Honestly, I thought that we would be married by now. But we aren’t.
Within the past month or so, I’ve been doing everything that I could to “win him back”, because I truly believed that it was our destiny that we end up together. However, because of my heartbreak, because of my constant rejection from the one person who I love the most, I have also made some decisions that I shouldn’t have made by seeking out the attention of other men. This reaction is completely normal for a lot people, though, so I’m not going to sit here and beat myself up over the mistakes that I’ve made, because there is no point in that. What I need to realize, though, is that the attention of another man isn’t going to take away the pain I feel because of the absence of another man. I’ve been doing a lot better with this realization as of recently, and I’m trying really hard to do what I need to do to.
Another realization that I had, is simply that “letting go” is what absolutely has to happen in this situation. Not just with me, either, but with my ex-fiance. At this point in time, there is no reason for us to speak to each other. He feels so much resentment and hatred towards me because of all of the problems that I have caused in his life, and rightly so. The more we continue to communicate, and the more that I try to push him to forgive me and take me back so we can fix all of our problems, the worse both of us feel. So, what’s the point in even talking to each other at this point in time? We obviously both still care so much that we don’t want to fully let go, and we are both completely in denial that that is, in fact, exactly what needs to happen.

It’s just a spark,
But it’s enough to keep me going.
And when it’s dark out, no one’s around
It keeps glowing

These powerful words are the chorus to the song “Last Hope”. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I can relate to this. Every single day, I find something new to hold onto. Sometimes it’s something very, very small. Sometimes it’s just a simple “I know I will make it through this.” Other times the spark is a little bigger than that. Either way, I find something positive to hold onto every day that helps me remember that I will not feel this hurt, rejection, and shame for the rest of my life.

Every night I try my best to dream tomorrow makes it better
But then I wake up to the cold reality
That not a thing has changed

But it will happen – Gotta let it happen

After I come home from work or a night out with my friends and settle into my house with my dogs by my side, the sadness starts to creep in. It almost never fails. Sometimes it’s a lot worse than others, but it’s always there nonetheless. So what else do you do when you’re emotionally and physically exhausted? You sit and you think to yourself “I’m just going to go to bed. I will feel better when I wake up.” That statement is bullshit. Sorry for the language, but it’s true. Going to bed and waking up the next morning never fixes anything, simply because even though it feels like you’re erasing your problems, you’re really not. When I wake up in the morning, my heart instantly starts racing again. The pressure reapplies itself to my chest before my feet even hit the ground. The thoughts of my love start pouring in, and it’s like I am starting the healing process all over again. You would think that it would lessen with time, and I’m sure that with enough time, it will. However, after a month and a half, I haven’t seen a difference in it at all. I still wake up feeling like I’m going to die. I still feel like nothing will ever go right for me, because it’s not what I deserve. That’s what I’m being told over and over again by the person that I love the most. I’m being told on almost a daily basis that I am a terrible person, that I should lose sleep over everything I have done (which I do), and that I deserve to be miserable for the rest of my life. When someone that you admire so deeply tells you these things, it’s hard to not believe them. It’s hard to be like “No, you’re wrong. I am a human being and I deserve to be happy whether it be with you or someone else.” So then that reality sets in and I start to dwell on how he’s right. He’s 100% right and I will never be happy. But no, it will happen. The sleepless nights will subside, along with the heartache and panic attacks that strike me out before my feet touch the ground in the morning. It will happen, I just have to let it.

And the salt in my wounds isn’t burning anymore than it used to
It’s not that I don’t feel the pain, it’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore
And the blood in these veins isn’t pumping any less than it ever has
And that’s the hope I have, the only thing I know that’s keeping me alive.

I will never forget the first time that I listened to this song. My friend McKenzie and I were driving around listening to it, and both of us immediately shed a few tears at these lyrics. Whenever Hayley Williams sings them, you can tell that she is pouring her entire heart out into them. As you all know just from previous posts, I admire when I can really and truly feel the artist’s heart through their music. However, these lyrics now hit pretty close to home, along with the rest of the song.
Throughout my ex and I’s entire relationship, we were both hurting. We were toxic. We loved each other so damn much, but it was almost like I didn’t know how to love him. I didn’t know how to make him feel like he was wanted, and that’s the most important thing that you can do for someone in a relationship. All I needed to do was make him feel loved, and I failed miserably.
Everything in my life is the exact same that it was before. I’m not deathly ill, even though some days, it definitely feels that way. My blood is still pumping through my body, and I am still living my life. Knowing that, I realize that there is no reason why I won’t make it through this. It’s sad to think that I have actually sat down and genuinely wanted to die because of this situation. I’ve sat down and thought to myself that I wouldn’t be okay, and that nothing or no one could ever even begin to compare to the love that I had for my ex. If I couldn’t have him, I didn’t want to live anymore, because life without him wasn’t a life. It was torture. Yeah, all of those things are true in this moment in time. Definitely. However, I’ve decided to put on my big girl pants and try to let go of control. I realize that things will get better. I realize that he needs time to himself to become happier and independent. I realize that he needs a lot of time in order to move past his hatred that he has for me, that he needs time to forgive me. I also realize that once that forgiveness happens, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he and I will end up getting married and living happily ever after. Things for my ex and I really could be over for the rest of our lives, and I’m slowly learning to be okay with that reality.
I’ve told him time and time again that I’m in love with him and that I will do whatever I have to in order to prove to him that he is the love of my life, and that I will win him back. He’s told me over and over again that I need to do that for myself, and who knows? Maybe one day it will happen. However, once he sees me start to move on, once he sees me with a smile on my face, it’s almost like he freaks out. He tries to tell me that because I’ve told him how much I love him and how I will prove it to him, if I start to move on in any way, that means that “he isn’t worth the wait” and “everything you said to me was bullshit. Again.” I just wish that he would understand that that is not necessarily true. I wish that he would realize that in order for me to be okay, I have to let go of the “we will be okay and end up together” mindset in order to move on with my life. If I don’t, I will spend the rest of my life waiting, hoping, and wishing while he continues on with his life and his new girlfriend. It isn’t fair to expect me to sit around and have that mindset. It isn’t fair to expect me to wait.

The fact that I’m saying any of this is huge progress. Having the realization that the best thing that I can do for not only myself, but also my ex, is to let go and live our lives separately is the biggest step that I have taken through this whole process. Having that realization doesn’t mean that I love him any less or I don’t want things to work out, it just means that I’m doing what I have to do in order to let go and let my life play out the way that it’s supposed to instead of trying to force it to play out the way that I thought it was supposed to. My destiny isn’t for me to decide. That’s the beauty of it, and fighting it does absolutely nothing at all except make your life worse. I know that I will be okay. There’s a spark inside of me that will not burn out, and I am adding wood to it every day and hoping that it ignites sometime soon. I have hope that it will. The mistakes of my past do not dictate me as a person or what I deserve in life. My life has a beautiful future, and all I need to do is hold onto that truth with every ounce of strength in my body.


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I swore I’d never fall again…

If there is one thing that I’ve learned in the past 2 1/2 years, it’s what to look for in a man, and when it’s a good idea to turn away from him. After leaving my fiance this past year, the last thing that I had on my mind was the desire for a relationship. I wanted to take the time that I needed to focus on myself and grow into the woman that I knew I could be.

As I was talking to one if my best friends last night, I realized that I’ve come so far in the past couple of months. He told me that he was so impressed at my ability to pick myself up, brush myself off, and become even stronger than I’ve ever been before. While he was telling me all of this, it literally brought tears to my eyes. He couldn’t believe that I survived the situation, and honestly, neither could I.

A couple of weeks ago, I met a guy. A big, burly, bearded, handsome man that caught my attention the moment I saw him. Apparently, it was the same for him. Once we started talking, I was so incredibly glad that I had had the courage to make the first move.

This man is everything I’ve ever thought of in thinking of a significant other. The amount of chivalry that comes from him is insane. He actually still opens the car door for me. He is crazy obsessed with horror movies, and he’s a wonderful chef with a pretty damn good job. All he wants is to see me smile, to kiss my smile. This man is mature enough to know that I can have my guy friends and it not be an issue. He is confident enough in me to know that I am coming home to him at night. He also really likes the fact that I’m a complete and total bitch. I’m pretty sure the fact that I’m so sassy and crude is just a total turn on for him. He likes to do small things just to make me smile, and he spoils the ever loving shit out of me solely because he wants to.

When things first started heating up with us, I wasn’t sure if I was even capable of loving someone. I didn’t think that going to dinner and a movie with him would result in me starting to fall in love with him. I never could have seen it coming. I had built walls around my heart solely to prevent something like this from happening. Yet there’s just something about my man, his patience, kindness, & listening ears that are tearing those walls down faster than my comfort zone can keep up. But once I really thought about it, I realized one thing. I made it through my past, still standing strong & tall. I might be a little scared to let go and let him into my heart, but love is scary regardless. Falling in love doesn’t have to be scary or complicated. Falling in love is supposed to be effortless and beautiful, yet I’m letting myself get in the way of fully and wholeheartedly enjoying it. I guess now it’s time to let go of myself. Now it’s time to let him in fully, and really see where it goes. If I don’t, ultimately I will lose him, and wonder for the rest of my life what could have been…

The Summer of Self Growth.

As human beings, I believe we all have a deep longing in our hearts to be loved. It’s something that each and every one of us want to feel. It’s something that we crave, whether everyone wants to admit it or not.

Whether you are ready for a relationship, or you aren’t, it’s still absolutely flattering to know that someone has taken an interest in you, is it not? It’s still an amazing feeling to know that you can impact someone’s heart enough for them to want to be with you. For some, though, this longing is greater. I truly believe that it is my deepest desire- to find the man of my dreams who I will one day be able to not only call my husband, but also the father to my children.

Life has given me exactly what I thought was the answer to my prayers, and then taken it from me very dramatically. Getting over this bump in the road has been a very difficult journey, in which I’ve made some pretty unwise decisions when it comes to love and romance. I’m the type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve, which ultimately gets me into the worst situations imaginable. Sometimes I’m a little too gullible when it comes to what a man says to me, and I’ve never realized it until recently.

If we are being completely honest here, it almost feels like my heart has this giant hole in it that only a man can fulfill. Yet, 9 times out of 10, men only make my life more complicated. I’m beginning to realize that until I can pull myself together completely, I will never be able to make someone else happy. I’m not entirely sure what that looks like exactly, but I have come to terms with wanting to find out.

I’ve vowed to make this summer the most beautiful one yet. I’ve made a promise to myself that I am going to focus solely on me. Taking everything life throws at me one day at a time. Really and truthfully not seeking out men or when a man tries to seek me out, not really look their direction. I’m a 21 year old girl who has yet to see half of what the world has to offer. I’ve vowed to be on the river more often than not, and to surround myself with my friends and family. This is going to be the summer of a lifetime, as ridiculous as that sounds, simply because I have this very deep feeling that I will truly be finding myself.

I went to spend time outdoors. I want to start working out the way that I said I was going to a month or so ago. Just the few times that I was getting up and being active, I could tell a difference not only in my body, but also my mental health. I felt better all-around. I want to truly come to terms with who I am as a human being, and what my purpose on earth is. I just need to remember to have patience with myself. I know that I have a beautiful soul, and I’ve let current events get in the way of what makes it beautiful. For a while, I lost myself completely, and I will never allow it to happen again.

“…A Riot is the Language of the Unheard.”

Is it just me, or has the world completely lost it’s ability to see the beauty and the value of human life?

I’ve tried for such a long time to stay ignorant to what is happening in the world, simply because it actually breaks my heart to hear about so many people dying every day, but then I realized that ignorance is never really a good thing. Once the riots in Baltimore started to break out, I decided to really dive into research on police brutality considering it was the biggest issue being talked about. When I started to read about the multiple cases of police shooting all of these innocent unarmed people, it really started to stir something up inside of me.

So many people are questioning why the riots are happening. I’ve heard so many things from “It’s so sad that they think violence will solve anything” all the way to “I don’t see the welfare offices in Baltimore burning to ground.” All of these comments have really started to irritate me. Can you imagine what the people rioting are actually feeling? Our country is losing trust in it’s law enforcement, and it’s not something that anyone should be okay with. Police are scared to walk up to a car’s window when they pull someone over out of fear of being shot, and the people being pulled over are afraid of the police officer gunning them down or beating them senseless for no reason. This should never even be an issue. Of course there will cases where police have to shoot someone, but it should be a last resort at all costs.

It is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would me morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say that a riot is the language of the unheard.

As most of you know, Martin Luther King Jr. said that beautiful quote. This is exactly my view on the situation. Though, when I tried to voice my opinion on Facebook, I actually had someone say that this quote was “stupid” and that when Martin Luther King Jr. was rallying there was no violence involved. Good God, people. That is probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard in my life. The thing about this is, is that what is happening in the world and in Baltimore right now is history actually repeating itself.

All of these people going crazy and rioting feel that they have absolutely no other way to get their point across that something needs to change! Police brutality has always been an issue, but no one is doing anything about it. Everyone is looking down upon the people who are so hurt and so terrified that they feel the need to burn a city to the ground. I’m not sitting here condoning violence, by any means. For those of you who do not know me personally, I’m one of the most nonviolent people in the world. I’ve never been into a fight with anyone, and I hate confrontation. Even the thought of confrontation freaks me out, however, I am smart enough to recognize a problem, and I see a problem with our law enforcement.

What has our country turned into? We now live in a nation where police set up road blocks and force you to stop your vehicle when you have done nothing to deserve doing so. Do you guys realize how wrong that is? It’s unconstitutional. Yet if I were to go through a police check point, not roll down my window completely, and recite my rights as to why I do not have to do so, I would be arrested, searched, and maybe even beaten. It’s gotten to the point where police do not care about a citizens rights. This is exactly the reason that when/if I am every pulled over, I immediately pull out my cell phone to record every single thing that happens. Yes, you have absolutely every right to record your interactions with a police officer, and do not ever let them tell you that you don’t.

Our forefathers are probably turning over in their graves at what this nation has turned into, but no one seems to care. I would never go and be a part of a riot, but I can’t help to think that I would definitely want to go and be a part of the peaceful protesting that is also taking place. The media just doesn’t like to show that side of things. We need a movement of love and peace to sweep across the nation like it did when The Beatles were leading the nation with their music. We need a generation of people to stand up and protest what is right. We need a group of people to come together hand-in-hand and show the world that nothing is accomplished with violence. The only thing that we can do to fix this country is realize that there is value in human life. There is change in love! Not to be cliche or anything, but all you need is love.

Stop judging people based on the color of their skin. Stop making people feel worthless because they had a child with a person of another race. We need to come together and realize that no matter someone’s race, they are a human beings. They are equal to you. They always have been, and they always will be.

Happiness Is Found Within You.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from my past relationship, it’s that you absolutely cannot take the people who are important to you for granted. Within the past few months, I’ve been extremely heartbroken, and I’ve begged my ex to forgive me for everything wrong that I’ve done to him. Things never worked out for us, as most of you who read my blog already know. However, I honestly cannot say for a single second that I am upset about that. There were so many things that happened between the two of us, that I don’t know if we would ever be able to fully love each other and support each other in the proper manor.

I spent so much time thinking that everything bad that happened to us was entirely my fault. I felt guilty for so long, and constantly found myself asking how it was fair. It just didn’t make sense to me that I lost everything that I wanted simply because I suffer from severe anxiety and depression disorders. I kept thinking to myself that he couldn’t love me, no one could. Truly believing that I would be alone for the rest of my life, despite how young I am, because it just didn’t make sense for anyone to ever want to be with me as long as I suffered from my disorders. Then, I realized that it is very foolish to think that everything was my fault, and even more foolish to think that I will be alone for the rest of my life.

Though many of the things that have happened were caused by my dishonesty, and also my anxiety making it impossible for anyone to truly love me, I am not responsible for anyone’s actions except my own. To place full blame on myself is exactly what he wanted, simply because he wanted me to hurt and feel guilty. Then he would question me when I would lose control of everything, have a panic attack, and call him repeatedly. “How are you in love with me if you are all over other guys?” was the constant question that came out of his mouth, and honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure how to answer it. To me, it was because I was so hurt from being rejected by the one person I never thought I would be rejected by, and maybe that is true to a certain extent, but I realized something that is so much more powerful than that.
I’m all over other guys, and I go on dates with other guys not because I’m hurt, but because I realized subliminally that it was a blessing we weren’t together anymore. I go out with other guys because I know deep down in my heart that I deserve better than what he and I once had. Not that he was the most terrible person in the world, because he wasn’t. He truly wanted to treat me well, but the thing about it is, is that he didn’t realize when he was wrong. He was never capable of admitting his wrong doings, and I was never capable of letting them go. The relationship quickly spiraled completely out of control due to many contributing factors. However, if you ask him, he treated me like a queen, and I am completely crazy and unstable.

It’s sad to think that he feels so much hatred towards me, because I will always have love for him in my heart. How could I not? Even though I realize that we will never be together, that doesn’t mean that he won’t always hold a small piece of my heart. I had given it to him, and it’s not something that you can get back. Though I didn’t treat him the way that I should have, it doesn’t mean for a single second that I didn’t love him. Heartbreaks take time to get over, and sometimes, you find yourself laying there wishing that you couldn’t feel anything at all, wishing you could be completely numb to emotion. It took many days of that until I realized that I was literally wishing that I was a sociopath. Why would I want that for myself? That’s when I realized that I had to change my mindset completely, or I would never get over the hurt that I felt. I went from truly wishing I was numb, to realizing that because I can hurt so intensely meant that I am capable to love even more intensely. I took the pain that I was feeling, and turned it into something positive, something beautiful.

Once I did that, I was able to truly let go of him. Ever since the last time we have talked (which was very ugly, and should not have even happened in the first place), I’ve had absolutely no desire whatsoever to speak to him. When I see him out, I don’t even look in his direction. His presence doesn’t utterly cripple me and send me into a spiral of emotion that I can’t handle. It’s like he’s not even there. Ever since the realization, I’ve been able to really and truly focus my attention to a man who has went out of his way on multiple occasions to get to know me. A man that treats me like an absolute lady. When I am with him, I sit and I wonder why in the hell it has taken me this long to admit my true feelings for him, and hide behind the pain from my breakup, when all along, I should have been taking him seriously. All of my friends have been pushing me towards him and constantly telling me how good of a person he is and that they completely 100% approve of him, and that he’s such a step in the right direction, and now I see that for myself.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this, is that because I’ve hurt so deeply, my heart is pure. My heart is capable of a love that many is not. I’m such a beautiful and passionate person, and that makes me who I am, but it is also my greatest weakness. However, at this point in my life, I refuse to let it hurt me. I’m taking my passion and turning it into something beautiful. Happiness is found within you, not with someone else. Happiness is found when you truly accept the person that you are, and you don’t let anyone’s opinion of you overshadow that.

Drugs are more powerful than human emotion.

Working in mental health has both it’s advantages and also, as I’m sure most of you can imagine, it’s disadvantages. Let me give you just a quick run down on my job and what it is that I do.
I work at a mental health facility in Lewisburg, West Virginia. This particular facility is a drug detox and crisis center. So basically, we see people who are going through heavy withdraw symptoms, and also people who are extremely depressed and/or suicidal.

My job title here is a Behavioral Health Technician. My responsibilities include (but are not limited to) cleaning, doing hourly checks on our clients, picking up/dropping off clients at the hospital, running to receive medications from the pharmacy, and cooking their meals. I, however, work graveyard shifts, so my interactions with the clientele is minimal. I thank my lucky stars for that every day, because honestly, I don’t know if I could handle my job on a daily basis otherwise.

There have been many times in the few short months that I have had this job that I have questioned whether or not I should be here every day, working with people who are unstable, when I myself, feel insanely unstable more often than not. Seeing so many people that I have grown up with walk in and out of the doors at my facility literally crushes me. I take it personally, when in reality, the only thing to it is that you cannot help someone get off of drugs and clean their life up unless they truly are committed to doing so themselves.

I live in a very small town. The population of Lewisburg is a little under 4,000 people. This is a town where everyone knows everyone; sometimes it’s a blessing and at others it’s most certainly not. Living in a small town is very hard on some people, especially the younger generation, considering that fact that there is “nothing to do.” Sure, we have plenty of places to see and things to do, but I suppose it can get old and mundane after a while for most. In most cases that I have seen, once someone starts feeling this way about the area, they automatically think that they are “trapped.” This causes a lot of depression and anxiety, which eventually, in most cases, people turn to drugs.

I was in high school when Opanas finally hit the town. This pill quickly swept up most of my friends and began to suck their lives into an endless hole. Some of them have recovered, found love, had children and are doing well, while others are still struggling to get clean, while scouring through their loved ones belongings and mistaking their grandmother’s Cubic Zirconium for diamonds and trying to pawn them off on whoever will pay at least $5. Watching this downfall of my generation has taken it’s toll on me, and honestly, I will never view some of the people I grew up with the same. That may sound harsh, but let me tell you why.

In working with drug addicts every day of my life, I have began to realize just how pathetic the disease truly is. We get new people just about every day. As soon as a new client walks through the door, you can tell just by the way that they speak whether or not they are wanting to change their life, or they are just wanting to go somewhere for a few days to wait it out while their drug dealer runs to Detroit to pick up more goods, and they really cannot withstand the withdraw symptoms. You see the look on their faces, the emptiness in their eyes, and you can just tell that something is missing. Something is simply not right. Then you get the people who really want to change their lives, and it makes all of those failed attempts completely worth it. You get someone who comes in with desperation in their eyes. Tears forming as they tell you why they are admitting themselves into our care because the shame is just too much to bear. As terrible as that sounds, that’s when you know it’s real.

Learning to keep work within the walls at work has been very hard on me. Someone will come in that I know personally and then leave without finishing the program because it’s “too difficult” or also just because they want a cigarette. I put more faith in them than they can live up to, and it has just disappointed me time and time again. This is why I have had to harden my heart a little bit. It might sound cold, and it may be wrong to an extent, but I am just doing what needs to be done in order to get my job done every day. When you look up the turnover rates with employees in mental health, the rates are sky high. Mental health is a very difficult field to work in, so you can imagine what it does to an unstable psycho like me. I just can’t handle it when I am so vulnerable, and let me tell you one thing right now, our clients can smell vulnerability. They eat it up. Some of them will even try to manipulate you into breaking rules, sneaking them a smoke, etc., and honestly, most of the time they are pretty damn smooth.

This job has taught me a lot about myself and others. Even though I might not enjoy it the way that I thought I would, I’m still learning so much about people, and I think that that is a good thing. I’ve become more realistic when it comes to helping people. I hope that this hasn’t made anyone feel uncomfortable or think any negative thoughts about me, but this is just how I feel.

New Year; New Beginnings

I’ve been thinking about getting a blog and keeping thoughts logged in it for quite some time now. What a better way to start out the new year than to open up a fresh blog?

Life has thrown so many curveballs at me as of recently, but all I can do is keep my head up and push through it. What more is there to do? I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and nothing that happens to me will ever stop me from being myself and going after the things that I want in life. Ie: Marrying the love of my life and starting a family, following my dreams, and so many more that I am sure I will write about right here on this very blog.

I invite you to follow me, get to know me, and even help me through the beautiful thing that I call life.
I’ll be looking forward to it.


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What is VeinityRX?

This is our in-depth review of the Health Formula VeinityRX. This product promises to help with your varicose veins and spider veins by diminishing its visibility. This supplement also assists in reducing the pain and swelling common with varicose veins as well as improves the circulatory health. If you wish to learn more, please continue reading our review below.

The ingredients used by this product has been clinically tested and carefully chosen in order to not only help remove signs of varicose veins but also boost the body’s circulatory system. Compounds found in each capsule are relatively safe. Ingredients include the following:
  • Diosmin
  • Hesperidin
  • Horse Chestnut Extract
  • Butcher’s Broom Extract

The Health Formula VeinityRX is used similar to that of a dietary supplement. It should be taken 2 times per day preferably during breakfast and again at dinner. In order to achieve the best results, it is advisable that you take this supplement for at least 3 months. It is around this time frame when the full health benefits should take effect.

The Health Formula VeinityRX can be a bit expensive as each 60 capsule bottle is priced at $59.95. Fortunately, the official website does state that they offer monthly supply packages with an attached discount. They offer a 2 month supply package (2 bottles) for about $99.95. They also have what they are promoting to be their best package which includes 3 bottles plus one free for $139.95.

Possible Side Effects

It should be noted that one of Health Formula VeinityRX’s primary ingredients; Butcher’s Broom, can cause side effects. There is a reason that the instructions recommend use for only 3 months as this ingredient is known to cause digestive system problems when taking for long durations. If you exceed intake for over 3 months, you might experience upset stomach and nausea. Pregnant women should also be cautious when taking this dietary supplement. Always check with your doctor before using new dietary supplement.

Manufacturer’s Commitment

The official website offers a 30-day money back guarantee. However, the fact that it will take about 3 months for benefits to take full effect is an issue with this guarantee. The only bright side to this guarantee is that swelling and pain relief will be felt faster which should give you a good idea of its overall effectiveness early on.

The Bottom Line

Overall, the Health Formula VeinityRX is a good alternative if you are having issues with muscle pain caused by varicose veins. It can also help lessen the visibility of varicose veins but be sure that you follow the instruction carefully. That being said, each bottle is quite expensive and the fact that their guarantee is not exactly fair is another thing to mull over. Given these concerns, you might be better off looking for another product to better suit your needs.

Do you want to find an effective Varicose Veins treatment? Check out our top rated Varicose Veins products


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Metal Messiah

This 1978 movie is about an alien covered in silver body paint that does P.I. work, starts a glam band in an attempt to take over the world and then is crucified.  I think.

My copy of this is pretty bad, but it was woefully low budget in the first place.  Yet, although filmed in dark-o-vision, there are lots of great shots.  Apparently it was Tibor Takács’s first film (who later went on to direct The Gate, I, Madman, and a slew of Sci-Fi Channel TV movies).  It’s overall a pretty fun watch, but it has its shortcomings.  My primary complaint – there are too many words in this movie.  Don’t get me wrong.  I like words.  I’m writing them right now.  But these words aren’t really doing their job.  I wouldn’t call it pretentious, but it’s definitely a little too ambitious for what it was able to deliver.

As I was saying, the first half of the movie is full of the words.  Words that may have had more meaning if I cared to pay more attention to them, but, nah.  HOWEVER, if you stick around for the second half of the movie, it’s all glam rock and orgies.  Way more my speed.

Actually, I enjoyed reading about this film more than I enjoyed watching it.  Here’s some info on the film and on the affiliated Canadian punk bands I had never heard of. And if you’re really curious to see what it’s all about, you can find it on youtube.

~ by velouria78 on January 7, 2012.

3 Responses to “Metal Messiah”

  1. When ya gonna put this shizz on the youtoobs?

  2. Hi! Yeah, I’m too lazy to upload it, but someone else has the whole, nearly unwatchable mess up there. I think it has something like 42 views. Pick it up around part five for the good parts.

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Veterans Business Resources

a portal for all Veterans and SDV Small Business Owners

Good Luck!

The American Heritage Dictionary defines luck as the chance happening of fortunate or adverse events.  Good fortune or prosperity; success.  To gain success or something desirable by chance.

We often hear people say to each other; good luck, break a leg, go get ‘em, knock their socks off, or some other similar phrase meant as a sign of encouragement and support.  Having someone in your corner during difficult or challenging times is a real comfort, and we all appreciate it.

Today, I want to give you another and slightly different definition of LUCKI believe that LUCK is the point where opportunity and preparation intersect.  Think about that for a minute as I share this little story.

A few years ago 2 of my sons challenged me to a push up contest.  OPPORTUNITY!  My wife was a bit concerned since I hadn’t regularly done push ups since retiring from the Army.  I told her “no worries, I keep 50 in my back pocket.”  PREPARATION!  My sons and I got down and started knocking ‘em out.  We all started out strong, but some of us faded toward the end.

Oh yeah, how did the push up contest turn out?  I smoked ‘em like a cheap cigar or perhaps I just had Good Luck!

In Government Contracting, I want all of us to have Good Luck!

See you on the high ground!

Filed under: Uncategorized

2 Responses

  1. Ed Ziek says:

    My husband is a certified GSA, CVE vertified SDVOSB holder. He has been trying to obtain a govt. contract for 2 years with numerous bids placed, attempting to contact DOD, GSA, Gen. Acct. Offidce and VA with no luck. We are not Washington based, not a large corporation, and are truly veteran disabled. We are not alone in this situation. Many other small veteran owned businesses are in the same situaiton. We can’t get govt. work because we have no govt. experience. And, we are the businesses that help the economy grow. What is more dispriting is the recent veterans are being left in the same situation that Viet-Nam veterans were left in. All our resources have been put into this effort. Where do we turn?

    • Ed, good afternoon.
      Thank you for your questions and thank you for reading the posts. I am happy to address your concerns and thanks for reaching out for help. Unfortunately, I can’t give you a short answer to your particular issues because I’m missing several pieces of critical information. However, you said several things that are very true of our community – there are a lot of Veteran owned business facing the same challenges and issues you identified. Therefore, I would like to move our discussions over to the Veterans Business Resources page on Facebook so other Veteran business owners can also benefit from the questions and answers.

      Based on what you told me, I know your business is at least 4 years old. Here are some questions I need you to answer; 1. How long have you actually been in business, 2. What products of services do you provide, 3. Have you done any federal work before, if so, with whom, 5. Have you been a sub before, if so, to whom, 6. Who buys what you sell, 7. Who did you contact in the different Federal Agencies, 8. Do you have any certifications, if so, what are they, 9. How and where do you find your bid opportunities and 10. How are you marketing your offering? These should be enough questions for the first round.

      There is a ton of really good and useful information in the Veterans Business Resources blog. The best way to use it and benefit from the information is to start reading from the first post and come forward.

      I look forward to hearing from you and helping our community with the challenges we face.

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In my ceaseless searching on the net for things to blog about, I found a website that may interest you. If you go to:, you’ll connect with a website designed to help veterans stay connected with friends and family once they return home.

For instance, you can record your military experiences through writing your own story, posting photos, inserting maps of where you served, etc. Or, you may choose to explore different options for what you’d like to do after your return home. You can get help with writing a new resume, setting up a business, keeping track of your business expenses, or getting the specific news that captures your interest delivered right to you.

You can also use the site to connect with other veterans, call friends who were deployed or are stationed overseas, host a conference call between veterans, or watch 3D virtual tours of service.

You may choose to use the website to reconnect with your loved ones by phoning them from your computer, researching the news you want more information about, or video chatting with friends and family.

There is even more to do here, but it’s I’ll let you check it for yourself. All-in-all, this is a website for maintaining connections and creating opportunities.

I believe it was Albert Einstein who first said something to the effect that if you keep doing the same thing, you shouldn’t be surprised when you keep getting the same results. There is a lot of wisdom in those words!

In a recent survey conducted by the American Legion, results indicated that 59% of the 3,100+ veterans surveyed felt they saw no improvement following treatment for their PTSD or TBI, or in some cases, felt even worse. That’s appalling. With the negative impact PTSD and TBI have on life satisfaction, there are too many veterans who are not getting the help they need.

Another 30% of the respondents said they had stopped participating in their treatment plan before it officially ended because of the side effects of the medications being used. In some instances, veterans were being treated with up to 10 different drugs.

The most common problems were increased anger, sleep issues, depression and irritability. The stigma associated with having TBI and PTSD leave many veterans unwilling to seek treatment. Estimates indicate that only half of those who need care are willing to go into treatment, and those who already are in treatment aren’t getting enough to reach full recovery.

Complementary and alternative therapies were also considered. With 60% of the veterans who were treated using traditional methods still meeting the criteria for being diagnosed with PTSD or TBI, complementary therapies are receiving more attention.

Some of the suggestions for correcting the problem were:

• Development of an integrated, coordinated, comprehensive PTSD/TBI management strategy in recognition of the growing numbers of veterans who have the disorder
• Prioritizing the importance of research for PTSD treatments
• The DoD and VA need to coordinate their management strategies focusing on best practices and a measurement-based system based on long-term term interventions
• Caregivers must be included in treatment plans

As soldiers continue to return home from Iraq and Afghanistan suffering from PTSD and TBI, it’s time the VA and the DoD prioritized their plans for treating PTSD and TBI. Alternative treatments have been shown to be effective and those who have served deserve the best care possible.

One of the most common issues that I work with is helping individuals with disabilities learn to manage their money. It can be so frustrating to go through each month holding your breath to see if there will enough cash on hand to get you through. Fortunately it’s easy to learn how to budget and with a few tips on handling your finances, you should be able to find yourself standing on a bit firmer ground.

First of all, keep track of where your money is going. That seems to intimidate some people who think it’s going to be a horrible chore, but it really isn’t. I pay most of my bills on line these days, so I can go back and pull that information from my on-line account and see where I stand. When money starts getting tight, I go back to square one: making a list of my bills and recording how much they are costing me. I did that this weekend and found one problem immediately – my electric bill had gone up tremendously. I have a swimming pool I heat during the summer and it takes extra electricity to do that. I need to include it in my plan so I’m prepared for the increase when the summer comes.

Once you’re writing down what you’re spending your money on, take a look to see if it’s worth it to you to continue dealing with. My cell phone is costing me about $150/month. The bad part is I hate the actual phone, so I know the minute this contract is up, I’m going to switch plans and get something cheaper.

A few other tips to help you come out ahead:

• Pay your bills first and live the rest of the month on what is left.
• Put something away for your retirement or emergencies. It doesn’t matter if it’s only $10 a month, but make a commitment to growing your savings.
• Pay your bills on time. Having a list allows you to write down that the bill has been paid and you can keep track so you don’t have to pay late fees.

With a little forethought and a little planning, you’ll have greater peace of mind when it comes to the end of the month!

Currently, close to half of the soldiers returning from Afghanistan and Iraq suffer from chronic pain. According to JAMA Internal Medicine, about 44% of the members of an Army infantry brigade reported chronic pain three months after returning from their tour of duty. Civilian rates are about 26%. Narcotic pain medications may be being used to treat these individuals, but there are also times when people are refused the medications they need to keep their pain under control.
Pain is tough taskmaster. When non-relenting, pain becomes overwhelming and makes life miserable. Unfortunately many times chronic pain goes untreated as physicians struggle to understand the severity of the pain and balance the use of drugs with possible addiction.
Soldiers who suffer from depression or PTSD in addition to chronic pain were more than twice as likely to take narcotic painkillers. Not only are the meds addictive, they cause side effects that may place additional stress on the body.
I learned while I worked for hospice that narcotics and other medications used to treat chronic pain were not addictive for the individual who really has chronic pain. When taken by someone who is hurting badly, the drugs to not affect the pleasure zones in the brain, but are absorbed by the body to prevent pain. If the pain is chronic, then narcotics are an option for controlling the pain.
There are other options too. Alternative therapies include acupuncture, acupressure, hydrotherapy, diversion, and massage. There are times that the individual’s perception of their wartime experiences can influence the depth of their pain, and holding in the trauma may make pain much worse. Art therapy, music therapy, yoga, tai chi and even physical therapy or counseling may help.
While many veterans are using opiates to treat their chronic pain, there are alternatives available that perhaps should be tried first. When chronic pain can’t be controlled, narcotic pain medications may be needed. We want to use drugs appropriately rather than avoiding them because we’re afraid of addiction


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Waste Management & Recycling 27 – 29.03.2018
Waste Management & Recycling 27 – 29.03.2018

Austria shows a high interest in South-East European environmental market

2013-10-23 05:53:05

Austria shows a high interest in South-East European environmental market

The countries in South-East Europe, no matter they are EU members or future ones, are aiming in becoming a part of the European green society observing the 3 R's  hierarchy.

There are good investment opportunities in the Region, as the focus is moving on the prevention and recycling, which requires renewal of collection systems, construction of sorting-, separation-, recycling- and composting installations, as well as the utilization of biogas from landfills.

In line with the market demand ‘Save the Planet’ 2014 (Exhibition and Conference)will boost the industry sector in SE Europe.

Austria shows a consistent interest in South-East European environmental market and continues a tradition to be again a Supporting Partner of ‘Save the Planet’ - Exhibition and Conference on Waste Management & Recycling, organized by Via Expo from 5th to 7th March 2014 in Sofia, Bulgaria.

Several Austrian companies in different areas of eco technologies have already invested and are very active in Bulgaria. The collaboration of the two countries also on an institutional level has been going on for several years. Regular delegations who visit Bulgaria show the high interest of Austrian companies in the Bulgarian market.

A great opportunity for direct meeting will be the Austria Showcase and Austrian Pavilion where the national advanced environmental experience will be demonstrated.

Austria is at the forefront of a wide range of technologies that are addressing the need to protect the environment and help us all be sustainable. The success in the "green technologies" has helped Austrian companies to develop an excellent worldwide reputation.The eco industry generates annual revenues of EUR 10.6 billion and employs a workforce of about 87 000 people.

Its contribution to Austria’s nominal GDP amounted to 1% in 1993, in 2007 this contribution already increased to 2.2% and has been growing steadily since then. Austria is in second place in the EU as regards the share of the eco-industry as a percentage of GDP.Surveys show, that domestic entrepreneurs see the biggest market potentials in the energy and waste management sectors.

Around 800 operations are involved in waste collection and treatment in Austria. Technologies covering collection, crushing and treatment of waste as well asstrategies to avoid waste are deployed worldwide. Permanent innovations in e.g. machinery, waste incineration and services like municipal waste strategies help the sector to stay competitive on an international level.

Parallel Events:‘Energy Efficiency & Renewable Energy’, ‘Smart Cities’ and ‘LiftBalkans’

Organizer: Via Expo Ltd., +359 32/ 512 900, office@viaexpo.com, www.viaexpo.com

Press Release for "Waste Management & Recycling 27 – 29.03.2018" :
  • Mobile Laboratory Equipped for Sampling and On-Site Analysis will be an Accent of BalBok Engineering’s Participation
  • Product Premiere by Weiss A/S
  • Which waste management companies have joined Save the Planet 2016?
  • Let’s talk about the new recycling technologies
  • Strong International Presence is Expected at Save the Planet 2016
  • Effective processing solutions for waste management
  • Solvay will present innovation that helps eliminate pollutants
  • Utilities Magazine Interview with Hrvoje Milosevic, Speaker at Save the Planet Conference 2015
  • Exhibitors and speakers from 22 countries will participate in the SE European Forum 2015
  • Leading companies will demonstrate sustainable solutions for waste management on
  • Interview with Dimitrios Grammatas, Head of Construction Department, HELECTOR – Exhibitor at ‘Save the Planet’ 2015
  • The newest innovation Vecoplan HydroDyn will be presented by Pashev Brothers at ‘Save the Planet’ 2015
  • ‘Save the Planet’ 2015 opens new opportunities in waste management sector in SE Europe 11-13 March, Sofia, Bulgaria
  • Treatment of fluorinated greenhouse gases and ozone-depleting substances
  • ‘Save the Planet’ 2015 paves the way for the progress in waste management sector in SE Europe
  • Austria responds to the green technology and know-how demand in SE Europe
  • Green Technologies - the Golden String between the Economic and Social Development and Climate Change
  • ‘Save the Planet’ 2014 - Program Highlights & Exhibitor Presentations
  • Ministry of Environment and Water of Bulgaria supports ‘Save the Planet’ - Waste Management & Recycling Exhibition and Conference for Southeast Europe
  • ‘Save the Planet’ 2014: Significant increase in the number of the companies at the Austrian Pavilion
  • International Baler Service will participate at 'Save the Planet' 2014
  • Leading Companies from Waste Management Industry will Participate in ‘Save the Planet’ 2014
  • Komptech has joined ‘Save the Planet’ 2014
  • 10th South-East European Exhibition and Forum on Renewable Energy and Waste Management will Enhance the Role of Bioenergy
  • South-East Europe is on Track to a Sustainable Development
  • Austria shows a high interest in South-East European environmental market
  • ONLY a few days before the beginning of Save the Planet
  • New Centre for Development of Ecological Infrastructure in Bulgaria
  • AUWA Recycling Bulgaria at 'Save the Planet'
  • Waste Management Forum for South-East Europe
  • South-East Europe is moving forward to Environmental Waste Management
  • Recycling Bulgaria at 'Save the Planet'
  • EUROPLAST and SuperDrecksKëscht® at Save the Planet
  • Advanced Austrian Technologies at the SEE Eco Forum & Exhibition 2013
  • Starke internationale Beteiligung an Save the Planet, Ausstellung und Konferenz über Abfallwirtschaft und Recycling
  • Recycling Technologies in the spotlight of Save the Planet 2013
  • Launching of advanced technologies on the SEE Waste & Recycling Market
  • Save the Planet – the right platform for waste technologies exposure
  • Household and industrial waste as a no-cost fuel
  • Hungary at Save the Planet
  • Waste Management & Recycling - Reach the SE European Market
  • The Green Upgrade of South-East Europe
  • A small UK city hired US Covanta to generate energy from waste
  • Waste-to-Energy is a Highlight of the South-European Conference ‘Save the Planet’, organized by Via Expo
  • Materials scarcity - and answers
  • Waste and Recycling - South-East European Forum
  • Growing Waste in South-East Europe - a Source of Business Opportunities
  • The 8th Environmental Forum for South-East Europe will be promoted within the 8th Vienna Economic Event 2
  • Waste management and landfills in Austria - interview with Dr. David Laner
  • Well-known companies at the South-East European Environmental Forum 2
  • Waste management in Denmark - Rene Moller Rosendal
  • Under the Auspices of:

    Long-term Supporting Partner - Austria

    In Partnership with:

    Official partner:

    Media Sponsor:

    Official Media Partners

    Official Hotel:

    VIP companies:


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Hobble White

-49% Hobble White

Description: Comfortable but chic slip peep toe with snake printed upper and mesh for extra ventilation. A perfect Summer basic!

Material: Snake printed fabric and Mesh

Fastening: slip on

Heel Style: Flat

Colour: Black, Beige, White

The European Collection by Via Nova is a range of carefully selected leather and suede shoes coming from Spain, France, Italy, Morocco and other European countries. Each shoe is manufactured with high quality materials and designed based on the latest European trends.

Via Nova is a well known and much loved sophisticated women's brand, synonymous for styling and quality throughout Australia and New Zealand.

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  • $69.00
  • $35.00

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The Land of the Living

The Land of the Living

Friday 27th December 2013 started well. That night we were planning to go to a big surprise get together of family and friends for my niece’s 30th birthday. Leah was happiest when surrounded by family and friends and this was the first family get-together that she had been allowed to attend since her bone marrow transplant in Bristol on the 1st August earlier that year. Leah was very excited.

However, during that day Leah became seriously ill, with an initial diagnosis of pneumonia. She was admitted to the Cancer Centre  in Belfast and subsequently transferred to ICU at Belfast City Hospital. Two and a half weeks later we had a family get together of a different kind, when we all gathered together at the N.I. Children’s Hospice  to say our goodbyes – the ones that we didn’t want to have to say.

During Advent I have been reading the daily devotionals that were especially written for the charity Samaritan’s Purse UK by Malcolm Duncan. He is a Pastor at Gold Hill Baptist Church and a leader at Spring Harvest. Malcolm is sadly very familiar with grief and loss. I previously wrote here about his very helpful sermons on the topic of the theology of suffering. In his devotional for the 1st December what Malcolm wrote regarding the death of a friend of his, has really stuck with me and brought me great comfort:

When my friend died, she left the land of dying and entered the land of the living. Death did not win. Cancer did not win. Sin did not win. Her salvation is now complete. She is more fully alive than she has ever been. She is more fully herself than she ever was. She is complete, truly released and free. Nothing can change who she now is. This is the great hope of every Christian. God wins! God always wins in the lives of Christians because God always has the last word.

During those two and a half weeks when Leah was dying, she and I derived so much comfort from listening to her favourite songs, which she had previously saved into playlists. Their lyrics washed over our hearts and minds and pointed us to the only One who could give us the strength to face each day.

Since Leah’s death most of these songs have continued to bring me comfort, as I miss Leah and yearn for her presence in our lives. Today I have one of the songs from this list playing on repeat; ‘Bring the Rain‘ by MercyMe.

 Bring The Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty