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June 23, 2016 — 6:19 PM UTC by Sanders Wommack

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Brooke’s Note: It’s who you know, not what. The conference prestige index lives a bit on similar thinking. But its not all about wattage. There is also the feat of getting different Darwinian winners to interact. What happens when a hippo and a rhino square off? A border collie and a crocodile? We have covered this conference in New York pretty intensively but we didn’t want to walk away without sharing some observations that were deep in the recordings and pages of reporter notebooks of Sanders Wommack. The interplay is hardly predictable.

They came in humility and to pay homage.

Representatives from big banks, Big Blue, the Big Four and everyone else with a major stake in the future of the financial services industry arrived at In|Vest 2016 in midtown Manhattan to pay obsequious respects to financial technology innovation—and see what they could do to join in.

At the two-year-old conference, companies founded just five years ago were treated as established industry titans. Much of the style that has traditionally accompanied what’s called the wealth management industry in New York was left at the door. Suits were in short supply as T-shirts, jeans, and sneakers became the new dress code. Bo Lu, CEO of San Francisco-based FutureAdvisor, did his part to disrupt fashion by delivering his keynote address in a brown T-shirt and black dress shoes.

But one moment put the power shift in capsule form.

During the keynote panel on Friday morning, moderator and SourceMedia managing editor Suleman Din asked the CEOs of Betterment, SigFig Wealth Management LLC, United Capital Financial Advisers and Jefferson National Life Insurance Co. if they expect leading digital advice firms to acquire the “prestige and establishment of a wirehouse.” See: The overnight maturation of In|Vest 2016 was like green bananas going straight to brown for some but Joe Duran made sure it bore fruit.

After an awkward, lengthy pause, Jon Stein jumped in.

“I really don’t know about the prestige of a wirehouse,” the Betterment CEO said with a mocking smile as the audience laughed, “That may be not too hard.” See: Betterment raises $100 million a year after a $60-million round, enabling it to step up efforts to win the HNW wallet.

World turned upside down

Always innovating: Bo Lu did his part to disrupt fashion by delivering his keynote address in a brown T-shirt and black shoes. Always innovating: Bo Lu did his
part to disrupt fashion by delivering
his keynote address in a brown
T-shirt and black shoes.

Representatives from the wirehouses were in the audience, of course, and throughout the conference they appeared to have internalized the sentiment behind Stein’s comment.

A Thursday afternoon panel served as an engagement party of sorts in which SigFig’s Sha and Rich Steinmeier, UBS’s managing director for wealth management in the Americas, discussed their recently signed deal. Last month, UBS announced it had purchased a stake in the San Francisco-based robo and would incorporate its technology into its wealth management practice. See: Why there’s more to the UBS-SigFig deal than meets Sergio Ermotti’s gimlet eye.

Throughout the panel, Sha was relaxed and confident, leaning back in his chair as an admiring as Steinmeier heaped praise upon praise on the young entrepreneur. But the more Steinmeier built up SigFig, the more he seemed to tear down his own company by implication. Steinmeier stated that a crucial component of the deal was that SigFig remain wholly independent of UBS, and thus stay uncontaminated by the worst of his company’s traits, which Steinmeier identified as the bureaucracy and conservatism that characterizes a global bank. In such an institution, Steinmeier continued, technology projects invariably move at snail-like speed. He said UBS executives were blown away by SigFig’s ability to conceive, design, implement and test a new feature in one week, and move onto version 2.0 in the next.

The whole session, with its one-way flow of admiration, had a surreal component. An observer new to the scene would have a hard time corectly guessing who represented a $60 billion global institution and who represented a firm that had just tapped Eaton Vance to further its existence. See: Eaton Vance leads a $40-million investment round in SigFig with an eye toward capturing some of its lightning to spark NextShares.)

Somewhat surprisingly, it emerged that the venerable Swiss bank, with roots stretching back 160 years, sees its future in wealth management intimately connected to the success of a Bay Area company founded in 2011 and run by a CEO in his mid-30s. See: The head of a $12 billion RIA spars with UBS and LPL execs on the great fiduciary debate.

“They are going to be in bed with us, and jointly we’re going to succeed or fail together,” said Steinmeier, “This is not a vendor relationship; this is a partnership.”

Playing the field

Despite such metaphorical sleeping arrangements, UBS sees the deal as more of a friends with benefits situation. UBS does not demand exclusivity with SigFig. Rather, Steinmeier said, UBS wants the robo advisor to enter into as many partnerships as they can.

Sha likewise hinted that more such SigFig deals should be expected with companies other than UBS, citing a major increase in attention to digital advice on the part of large companies in the last six to nine months. Previously, he said, SigFig would get feelers from lower-ranking leaders in charge of digital strategy; now presidents, CEOs and chairpersons are reaching out directly.

But, an audience member asked, how exactly will UBS differentiate itself if SigFig is available at every bank, brokerage, and credit union in the country?

Mike Sha was relaxed, confident and visibly happy--even before an admiring as UBS exec started piling high the praise. Mike Sha was relaxed, confident and
visibly happy—even before an admiring as
UBS exec started piling high the

“Ultimately, we stand behind the strength of our advisors,” said Steinmeier. See: Why one UBS advisor broke away even knowing that his former partner would keep the 401(k) assets.

Of course what good are great advisors if their underlying technology is showing signs of obsolescence? Morgan Stanley’s chief analytics and data officer Jeff McMillan said later in the conference that wirehouse model of communication wasn’t making sense anymore.

“One of the challenges with a firm like Morgan Stanley is we have 60,000 financial advisors, 2.2 million customers, just under two trillion in assets, and the biggest problem is that we engage with a thing called a telephone. When the market drops 500 points, our advisors simply can’t pick up the phone and call enough people. I think you have to credit some of the robos out there, that’s what they’re going after. They’re going after constant conversation.” See: The ironic reason robo-advisors aren’t gorging on assets — a determination to dictate bloodlessly to millennials.

“I think this is a big deal,” he said, “And if you’re not paying attention to it, you probably should.”

IBM … to replace your CRM?

As “artificial intelligence” replaces “big data” as corporate America’s latest watchword, IBM is hoping it can finally climb aboard a trend rather than chasing one with a good head start, as it did with cloud computing. IBM’s Watson Wealth Management division, led by 14-year firm veteran Robert Stanich, has two partnerships with Singaporean and Aussie bans dating as far back as December 2013, and recently signed an agreement to provide predictive the robo-advisor Marstone. But its overall effort seems, like its share price, stalled. A Time magazine article from last year was headlined IBM is stumbling into the future and was only outdone by MarketWatch’s headline: IBM is shrinking and the future is ugly

Still, the aura of potential for IBM’s Watson is huge and the technology received several mentions during In|Vest’s day one keynote talks. A packed room showed up to the firm’s lunch presentation on Friday to hear more. For those not at the conference, a very compressed, two-minute demo can be viewed here.

Presented by Stanich and two other Big Blue executives, the demo was impressive but not revolutionary. Some of Watson’s applications, such as predicting when a client is about to leave practice, could become essential for major advising firms. Others—such as predicting when a client is about to marry, have children, or switch jobs—might only be helpful for robo-advisors and humans with the personality of robo-advisors. See: Schwab sings 'Blue’ as it rolls out its robo — and phono — functions ahead of deadline, with minimums.

With the disclaimer that he did not attend the In|Vest lunch at which IBM presented, Davis Janowski, a fellow RIABiz correspondent at the event, positioned IBM’s potential this way in an email: “My take is it is meant to be a big supplement to, or replacement for, your CRM. Rather than tediously over the course of years collecting client info like birthdays, family member names, deaths, sicknesses, types of travel you like, trips you take, anniversaries and on and on, you would set Watson loose on your clients through social media and what is available on the Internet. It fills in all sorts of blanks. A benevolent big brother in the hands of the advisor.” See: The overnight maturation of In|Vest 2016 was like green bananas going straight to brown for some but Joe Duran made sure it bore fruit.

Validation, however, won’t be easily forthcoming for IBM in this industry. On Friday, the firm placed second to United Capital’s outsourced software platform in a vote for the conference’s most disruptive new technology. See: A veteran DFA exec tells what enduring RIA success is made of — and why the next-gen advisors will not disappoint.

IBM was a “Gold” sponsor for the event, below only “Salesforce Inc.“ at “Platinum.” In addition to the industry’s consulting expert, A.T. Kearney, consultants from Deloitte and Ernst & Young also bought sponsorships, held down exhibit booths and were featured in panels. Still, they seemed to be there to sell services and understand the visions of practitioners rather than to offer their own.

Saw it coming

There was at least one long-time industry executive who refused to cede his pride to the new wave of fintech firms. At “The Value of Advice in a Robo World” with Envestnet Inc.'s, Bill Crager and CircleBlack’s John Michel, the audience was asked if the industry would have seen as much innovation had robo-advisors not “disrupted” the more established firms. The vast majority raised their hands.

“We saw digital coming, and if you look at the strategic activity of the firm over the last two years, you get a sense of what we believed was going to happen,” said Crager in a dissenting voice. “The robos didn’t force our hand. It’s something that I think we anticipated and made investments in and have now integrated to deliver.”

Envestnet purchased robo-advisor Upside in February 2015, financial planning software firm Finance Logix that May, and, quite controversially, the data-aggregator Yodlee in August. See: “Envestnet buys Yodlee and its treasure trove of 'permissioned’ data by selling its vision of the future of financial advice”:

Bill Crager [w/Jon Michel]: The robos didn't force our hand. It's something that I think we anticipated and made investments in and have now integrated to deliver. Bill Crager [w/Jon Michel]: The robos
didn’t force our hand. It’s something
that I think we anticipated and
made investments in and have now
integrated to deliver.

“You have waves of innovation,” Crager continued. “You had a hardware wave, a software wave, and I think there’s a data wave that is coming and it’s something we’ve invested significantly in.”

The chatbot and mom

Indeed, Crager predicted that data integration via firms like Yodlee would drive the next three-year consumer cycle. What innovation lies beyond that horizon was the subject of the mind-bending panel, “Conversational Commerce,” the conference’s last.

“Conversational Commerce,” explored the potential of chatbots in the wealth management industry. The dream is that artificial intelligence will one day be so powerful that clients will be able to converse with a Siri-esque 'bot who can interpret conversation well enough to take over some aspects of financial planning. See: Vanguard CEO says: 'We are a technology company’ and hints strongly that robo-for-RIAs may be in the offing.

The panel had the expected quota of wild-eyed futurists, but was leavened, unexpectedly, by the presence of Morgan Stanley’s chief analytics and data officer, Jeff McMillan.

Even more surprising was the seriousness with which he approached the subject. McMillan, who was part of a team that poached Naureen Hassan from Schwab in February, came across as knowledgeable, savvy and deeply engaged with the applications and potential consequences of wealth management A.I. He even hinted about where Morgan Stanley sees its own, as yet unannounced, digital advice service, going in the future.

In a hypothetical scenario, MacMillan discussed the possibility of artificial intelligence helping him find the best nursing home for his mother and laying out in a lucid manner all the financial and legal implications behind each choice.

“That’s a really complicated problem. But I tell you what, I’d pay a hundred basis points a year forever if someone helped me solve that problem. And that’s where we think we want to play long term. Because 60/40 asset allocation? Yeah, you can get it from us, you can get it somewhere else. But you solve that problem for my mom …. and I’m with you for life.”

Mentioned in this article:

Betterment Holdings Inc.
Financial Planning Software
Top Executive: Jon Stein

United Capital Financial Advisers
Consolidator/Roll-up Firm, RIA Welcoming Breakaways
Top Executive: Joe Duran

Envestnet Inc.
Top Executive: Jud Bergman

Share your thoughts and opinions with the author or other readers.

FAA said:

June 23, 2016 — 11:29 PM UTC

Hopefully the robo/ tech stuff fulfills the fiduciary standards. It may or may not…but it has not to date. I would short Envestnet because when you look under the hood…past the mediocre technology…to how they are compensated, how they trade, what the research etc…it is a short. They throw great parties and profess helping you build your business (who doesn’t). Don’t see how any advisor using Envestnet could defend they are acting in their client best interest. Up to the advisor to do their own DD but if you do – most likely you will come to the same conclusion.

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Saturday, 15 September 2012

Groove City and Hamburg Comics Festival

I have some drawings on display at Groove City, a really good looking record shop in Hamburg. This is part of Hamburg Comics Festival, so thanks to the organisers, in particular Martina Lenzin (whose own artwork is great!), and Marga at Groove City. More photos are here. Look at that selection! - boom.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Fashionable Dogs

My first attempt at sketching dogs from Google images, for an event I've been asked to do in October (where I'll be drawing live dogs, and their owners).

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Sunday, 3 June 2012

Some pictures from a 'drawing jam' at the Institut Francais

A drawing jam I did for the BD Comics Passion festival recently, with Tom Gauld, Grzegorz Rasinski, Luke Pearson and Alessandro Barbucci at the Institut Francais, to a concert by Mesparrow.

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Friday, 18 September 2015

CZ Tree Part 7 - T-34/100

Author: SilentStalker

Previous articles:

Hello everyone - after a delay, I am back with the Right then, tier 7. Tier 7 is the T-34/100 by Konštrukta Trenčín. This was not always so but - yea, it was the main variant I was always counting on (we were at one point thinking of stretching the TVP from tier 7 to tier 10 actually but that wouldn't go nearly as well as this vehicle because we'd be slowly running out of module options for the TVP - there are plenty of guns but engines? Well, not so much.

First, as usual, a bit of history.

Since early 50's, there have been attempts to improve the design of the T-34/85 to increase its combat value. In 1953, the army technical institute recieved an order to arrange the installation of the Soviet D-10S gun (resp. slightly improved Czechoslovak copy thereof under the name of 100mm vz.44 S, produced in Slovakia for the SD-100 - a Czech copy of SU-100) in the regular T-34/85 turret, if possible without changing the original turret parameters. In September 1953, the Slovak company Konštrukta Trečín was tasked with the development of this project. The initial evaluation of the project stated that the turret modifications would result in changes to depression and gun elevation (-3/+20 degrees), with the rate of fire of 8 rounds per minute.

On 6.4.1954, two design variants were presented by Konštrukta developers to the VTU (army technical institute), along with a preliminary price calculation. Both variants presumed the removal of TŠ-20 indirect fire sights. The gun was also modified by adding a coaxial DTM machinegun to its right side. Both variants differed by solving the gun mantlet and by positioning the gun. Both were also viable, but the price was far less space for the gunner and the loader in the turret. It was absolutely clear that the gun aiming and loading time would suffer. Worse still, it was found out that the ammunition load would suffer too - for both variants, only 6 ready rounds would be able to be stored in the turret itself. Both variants were however sound stability-wise and the designers hoped the handling characteristics of the tank wouldn't be diminished.

Despite this, the project was judged as fundamentally flawed. Even though the army command still wanted to increase the firepower of the T-34/85, it was clear this wouldn't be the way. In April 1954, one army general issued yet another demand for firepower increase for the T-34 for the production years 1955-1960, but this time, they had a completely different weapon in mind (an indigenous Czech 100mm autoloaded and fully stabilized cannon, possibly the still-developed AK1, originally meant for the TVP project). This demand however was not accepted by the high command and that was the end of the attempts to increase the firepower of the T-34. The project was officially cancelled on 30.6.1954 - the main reason for it (apart from the aforementioned flaws) being the successful negotiations about the T-54 production licenses.

Why this one and not the TVP?

This Slovak T-34/100 has nothing to do with its predecessor in the branch - the T 25 - apart from the fact that both vehicles were to be produced in Czechoslovakia. There is no continuity and all the modules are brand new. That gives the branch a certain degree of diversity - the rest of the branch is quite fast, the T-34 is more like "meh". As I wrote above, there was an idea to stretch the TVP program to tier 7 - early on the branch looked something like this:

Tier 7 - TVP Concept (which is now on tier 8 and for a good reason)
Tier 8 - T 50 (which Dubánek mislabeled, the model belongs to T 40)
Tier 9 - T 51 (which we only recently discovered the plans for, before we knew next to nothing about it)
Tier 10 - T 50/51

The advantage of this approach would be the module continuity, the disadvantage - well, that's obvious: tier 7 would look much like tier 8 and tier 9 would look like tier 10. Which is not really good for the attractiveness of the entire branch. Therefore I added quite early on the T-34/100 into the mix - it's a rather original vehicle after all. Yes, the hull is classic T-34 (with very small changes in Czechoslovak production - nothing game-significant though) but the turrets are indigenous and quite interesting. Take a look:

As you can see, there are two varians (quite distinctive) - I and II. Variant II clearly has less frontal armor (it overlaps less with the mantlet extension) and therefore will be stock. Variant I will be elite. But how thick is that armor exactly? Now THAT is a very good question.

You see, this is possibly the only tank that we didn't find any drawings for. The only source remains M.Dubánek book. We have no idea where he got his drawings from himself, they are not in the Czech archives. Very likely he has (since he is a member of the military) contacts on some Slovak archives but which exactly? Well, he wouldn't tell - in fact he wouldn't talk to me, Wargaming or Francev and Tintěra at all. Yes, we know why and what the problem was but that already overlaps too much to personal level so I am going to leave that out. Suffice to say he (like Pejšoch) was not interested in working with Wargaming. We - or rather, Mr.Tintěra himself - tried to contact several Slovak archives but they either did not reply at all or sent him to hell - this took roughly 8 months, after which we stopped trying. A part of the military archives disappeared in Slovakia after the Czech/Slovak split and we do not know what happened to it either. Many documents were lost in either case.

So, we have the book as his only source as I said. Unfortunately, his text does not mention any armor ticknesses (what it does mention is for example how many screws were used to mount the gun, I guess he focused on the "important" things).What is did was this: as you can see above, the drawing has a scale. I used a scanner to scan the book in extremely high resolution and then I measured them using a graphic program and converted the measurements to real life milimeters using the scale on the picture. This is not the last time I used the same method - using it on technical drawings is perfectly legitimate mind you. On drawings from books? Well... not so much (especially when Dubánek made a bunch of mistakes in the said book) but it's the best we got. And so the two drawings above along with the book are are the only resource that was used to create the vehicle. It's "kinda" acceptable once in a branch - if you had a whole branch of book drawings, you'd probably be sent packing.

In any case, the measures I took are:

Armor (turret, stock): 80/75/52
Armor (turret, elite): 92/75/52

Because of the "reliability" of such methods, it's possible Wargaming will adjust the thicknesses. They used basically the same method, only with applying (wherever possible) the values from T-34/85. The front of the turret is generally pretty thick, after it gets worse. Protection-wise, the hull is identical to regular T-34/85 though, so it's some 45mm.

The Rest

The gun on the vehicle is 100mm tankový kanon vz.44S - which translated to English means... yea, it's a license-produced D-10T, nothing else. There are slight adjustments to the mount and optics but otherwise it's an identical gun so whoever remembers the old T-34/85 with 100mm gun before they removed it, this is it. "Thanks" to its size it has very bad depression (-3), which will very likely be buffed to -5 in World of Tanks. Stats such as penetration will therefore be copied from the vehicles carrying the D-10T:

Penetration: 175/235/50
Damage: 250/250/330
Accuracy: 0.42
Aimtime: 2.9

Naturally the aimtime and accuracy will be balanced based on this vehicle.

And that's pretty much it, there's nothing too interesting about this vehicle. Somewhat heavier than the T-34/85, two T-34/85 engines (500, 520hp). Oh right, almost forgot, it has a stock gun - the 85mm S-53. On tier 7. Yay. But then the T-44 has it too and is one tier higher so we'll have to survive it.

Have you noticed that each branch has around tier 6-7 a vehicle the Russians have a loving name for: "kaktus"? Basically something that's crap and painful to play. This is the (intended) cactus of the Czechoslovak branch that will annoy people with poor mobility and gun depression while its hull armor is paper and the turret armor will likely not withstand any heavy fire. Unfortunately of all the other tier 7 candidates, this one is the best "documented" and so into the branch it goes.

Oh well, at least the tiers 8-10 are IMHO interesting and tier 9 is (again in my opinion) the prettiest tank in WoT.


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Riverside Metropolitan Museum

Riverside Metropolitan Museum

First Sundays OCTOBER - MAY

First Sundays is a seasonal series of free family programs featuring different activities for children and teens at seven different location in downtown: Riverside Metropolitan Museum, Mission Inn Museum, Riverside Art Museum, Riverside Public Library, UCR ArtsBlock, Riverside Fox Theater Foundation, and now the new Center for Social Justice and Civil Liberties! All locations are open free and all activities are free and open to the public. The program is made possible through the collaborative efforts of all locations involved as well as the sponsorship of the Riverside Arts Council.

Join us and 6 other locations on the first Sunday of every month from October – May |  1 – 4 pm | Free and Open to the Public!

First Sundays for 2016/2017 Season

March 5 – Bubble-Mania!

Let’s make bubbles! Explore the science behind the fun of blowing bubbles! We’ll be making huge bubbles, test different shapes and make our own bubbles and blower to take home.

April 2, 2017 - Insect Invasion!

April is Insect Month at the Museum! We’re exploring all aspects of these misunderstood creatures. Come meet some of these six-legged creature and find out why they are so important to our planet. From pollination to decomposition, a world without bugs would be very sad indeed. We’ll learn about these tiny animals and how we can help them continue to do their jobs.

Quick Links
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Riverside, CA 92501

Phone: (951) 826-5273

Monday Closed
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*Open 9am – 9pm on the First Thursday of the Month for Arts Walk
Closed Major Holidays
Heritage House
8193 Magnolia Ave.
Riverside, CA 92504

Open Sept (1st weekend after labor day) to June.
Monday - Thursday Closed
Friday - Sunday 11:30 am – 4:00 pm
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Gates close at 4:00 pm
Closed Major Holidays
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Best of the Best 2016: Journeys | Villas: Àni Villas Sri Lanka

This 15-bedroom estate on Sri Lanka’s central south coast leaves nothing to be desired. From ayurvedic spa treatments and yoga sessions to cooking classes and tennis lessons, Àni Villas has curated a true resort experience within the exclusive setting of a private home. Your per-sonal chef is fluent in Thai, Indian, and Italian cuisines; your infinity-edge swimming pool overlooks an isolated white-sand beach. If not for your concierge—who can arrange a trip to the Ceylon tea fields or a tour of the 400-year-old Galle Fort—you might never leave.

  • The estate comprises the eight-bedroom Villa Monara, the seven-bedroom Villa Divia, and a central pavilion with a spa, a yoga studio, a fitness center, and tennis courts. Each villa features a library, a kitchen, a dining room, a media room, and a beachfront pool with a waterslide.

  • Full-time staff includes a general manager, a private chef, butlers, spa therapists, a children’s activity coordinator, and a personal trainer.

  • The estate accommodates as many as 30 guests. Smaller groups from eight to 16 can reserve Villa Divia or Villa Monara exclusively.

  • Day trips include leopard safaris in nearby Yala National Park and whale watching and surfing in the Bay of Bengal.

Àni Villas Sri Lanka, ($3,500–$13,000 per night, with a three-night minimum)

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Friday, June 20, 2014

Paper Secrets Sketch Layout Reveal

Hey There!

Today I am sharing with you my layout I created for Paper Secrets June 15th Sketch challenge:
I just couldn't wait to scrap this photo that my son took just a few weeks ago!!  I was perfect for the Simple Stories Smarty Pants collection that I purchased from the Paper Secrets Store.

The Challenge was to create a layout using this sketch by Kelly Holifield:
And to use items that start with each letter of .. GRADS.  This is what I used:
G - graph paper, R - red, A - arrow, D - Doodlebug (twine), S - Stars
If you would like to play along with Paper Secrets challenge and have a chance to win a prize, please see The Paper Secrets Blog.

I also combined this challenge with Libby's Patterned Paper challenge over at Sketches4All.  If you would like more Libby's challenge and to see the other Sketches4All challenges
please click HERE.

Have a great scrappy weekend!

1 comment:

May 1-2-3 Challenge & April Winners Announced!

Happy Monday!!  How about a new challenge?  As you know... this year I will be alternating different types of challenges with Grand D...


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Saturday, March 13, 2010

WASP - March 12, 2010

A windswept rain greeted my car as I parked outside of the Starland Ballroom and prepared to see one of the heaviest metal acts of all time, WASP. Metal Eddie and his friend Jay were meeting me there, and while we would have to sit through three bands we never heard of, we were all excited to see WASP. It would be the first time that I saw them live since 2006. I was expecting to hear the hits and hopeful to hear some deeper cuts. I wanted The Headless Children, Forever Free, something from Dominator, and some songs from their latest disc, Babylon.

I dodged my way through the rain and met the guys inside. The club was only half full at that time, which was a bit of a disappointment. One of the bars was closed down (the Starland has four of them) and that meant a sellout was not expected. Perhaps not enough people knew about it, or perhaps there are not enough WASP fans in the area, but those who were missing out, were going to miss one hell of a concert.

The first three bands we sat through were just painful. I got inside as the first act was playing, and they were just awful, loud and without rhythm. This would be a recurrent theme for the rest of the opening acts. Rain and War Machine were the next two bands to take the stage before Blackie and company.

Rain was fronted by a rail thin lead singer that looked a little too feminine for my taste. I like my rockers to look like rock men, so sue me. Rain’s singer, looked like a girl. His singing voice wasn’t so great either, and their songs were just awful. Imagine the sound of throwing your cat in the dryer and that’s pretty much what Rain sounded like. The only decent song they performed wasn’t even their own. They did a cover of The Cult’s Here Comes The Rain, and that got the crowd moving. Other than that, Rain was a forgettable experience.

War Machine was next and while we spent most of their set near the T-shirt stand, watching the people that were still coming into the show, they sounded better than the previous two acts. Their lead singer was more professional and served double duty as one of the guitarists for the band. While we watched the metal chicks enter the club (and there was a surprisingly large number of them, most of them very attractive), we listened to War Machine work the crowd and get everyone ready for the main event. War Machine closed with a cover of Iron Maiden’s The Trooper and they did a great version of it, complete with the crowd screaming the chorus back at them. For an unknown band, War Machine was a decent act that at least showed professionalism on the stage.

At 11:00, we pushed our way to the center of the floor and prepared ourselves for the mayhem that was about to ensue. The fans were still coming in, and by the time WASP was ready to take the stage, there had to be close to 1200 people packed into the club. That made me feel much better, as WASP is a band that should be selling out clubs and slightly larger venues. The power they deliver and the quality of their songs is comparable (or better) than any hard rock act out there today.

At 11:15, we were still waiting for Blackie to take the stage and I was getting a little aggravated. The club was hot and some of the guys standing around me had a funky smell to them. The odor was only intensified by the heat of the club. Where was WASP and how much more of this smell would I have to endure?

AT 11:25, WASP finally got their asses out on the stage to the blissful roar of the crowd, opening with a powerful version of On Your Knees and we were off to the heavy metal races. On Your Knees segued right into The Real Me, and I exploded with joy. Anything from The Headless Children makes me happy, and this has always been one of my favorite WASP tunes, even if it is a cover song. Behind the stage was a large video screen that showed the band’s old videos of the songs they were performing. I thought this was a cool touch as I got to hear the song live, but still had the extra visual imagery of the old videos that I grew up consuming.

I have to admit that I was nostalgic for Chris Holmes, especially when seeing his face in the old videos. I know that he and Blackie had their differences and he left the band (twice) with probably zero chance of ever returning, but I would have loved to see Chris Holmes on stage that night. Guitarist Doug Blair did an excellent job and he nailed all the solos, but I still missed Chris Holmes.

At one point, Blackie took a moment to address something that had happened in New York City the night before. Apparently a promoter arranged for fans to pay $50 for a meet and greet session with WASP and when Blackie found out about it he went ballistic. He reiterated the fact that WASP would NEVER charge fans for the privilege of shaking hands with the band. He appreciated his fans and knew that without us, there was no WASP. The crowd, of course, went wild for this.

A lot of hits were performed. L.O.V.E. Machine, Wild Child, Murders In The Rue Morgue, Hellion, I Wanna Be Somebody, and of course, Blind In Texas were all played and each one sounded incredible. WASP brought the energy for the entire hour and twenty minutes they were on stage. The adrenaline rush that surged through my body was one of the best feelings I had in weeks. The raw power of WASP’s heavy metal energetic music was a thrilling experience.

They played two new songs from their latest album, Babylon, and I was happy to hear them. I have not purchased that album, but these songs were so good that this will change. Other nice surprises included Take Me Up (from Dominator) and a partial rendition of Scream Until You Like It (from Ghoulies II). That was a nice surprise and it came complete with the video that had snippets from the movie. Total 80s flashback!

The final song of the night was I Wanna Be Somebody and the encore consisted of Blind In Texas. I was very disappointed that I did not get to hear Forever Free, and after WASP left the stage I noticed that they did not play Animal (Fuck Like A Beast). While reading about the band this morning, I learned that Blackie has claimed he will never play this song live again due to his new religious beliefs.

Metal Eddie, Jay, and I had a fantastic time and loved every second of the show. It was worth braving the rain storm, sitting through the lousy opening acts, enduring the heat of the club, and waiting an endless amount of time for the band to take the stage. WASP kicked our asses and we loved every second of it. Should they come back around for more concert mayhem, sign me up cause I’ll be there.

1 comment:

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The odor was only intensified by the heat of the club. Where was WASP and how much more of this smell would I have to endure?


text:
Sunday, June 15, 2008

PART ONE was one of the Rocket Blog’s most controversial articles ever!  You’ve been waiting all week and now the second & final chapter of Rocket Video's Joe Fontes, epic beat-down of the new Indiana Jones

flick is upon us.

This point-by-point, scene-for-scene dissection of The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull may one day prove to be the Holly Grail of hate documents. If you want to see a grown man boil with pure abomination and anger toward a stupid movie, then look no further, until his contempt finally becomes a thing of beauty....

So here is PART TWO (of two) of Joe Fontes'

Okay, so back to the story.

Now we’re in South America looking for someone that the audience has never seen before to help some kid who Indy doesn’t know is secretly his son, despite the best efforts of members of my audience group yelling it at the screen as soon as he rides on screen.

We are taken to a convent/asylum where the mystery guy used to live. We use the same trick we did in the third movie and put the big “X” on the floor to tell us where to go next. That’s all we get from this scene.

We still don’t know who we’re looking for. And by now, I don’t care.

But we go someplace into the jungle to find something. Only it’s not really a jungle it’s a sound stage.

And what do we find at the first sign of the makings of archaeology in the movie?  Ninjas. In “South America”. Not cool, Indy.

But after breezing by two of them in a completely blasé manner (he may actually have cracked the whip at them, I’m not 100% certain, I was rubbing my eyes to make sure I was really seeing ninjas), we enter the tomb of some dead conquistador.

Oh yeah, and there may have been a booby trap. One.

And it was not so much a life threatening obstacle as a tilting fulcrum. I’m serious.

He leans on the far side and it tilts. It doesn’t tilt him over a pit of piranhas.

It just tilts. Not cool, Indy. So now that we have narrowly escaped “leaving empty handed”, we find another terrific magnetic force coming from behind the dead Spaniard’s corpse.  What could this be?

And once we move the dead guy, all the metal in the room starts to move toward the magnetic crystal alien skull. Because, of course, bones and mummified remains block extremely powerful magnetic attraction.

And then Indy determines that this place is not the skull’s original resting place and it must have been brought by our mystery boy. Because that’s what archaeologists do… bury stuff from one impossible to find location, in another impossible to find location.

But just as the B.S. flag is reaching half mast, Indy and Mutt get captured coming out of the first “hidden location”.

It’s Indy’s traitor buddy, Winstone, and he’s taking them to meet the “not necessarily bad, but definitely not on our side” guys.  At least the same ones we met at the beginning of the movie.

That’s right, no new bad guys. No surprises. Except that we now get to meet the mystery boy. And other than knowing the actor John Hurt, I still have no idea who the heck this guy is. Not that I’m working hard to figure it out, because quite frankly it’s not interesting enough to hold my attention. It is obvious from his character’s appearance, that he is meant to be very old and decrepit.

I am firmly of the belief that his character was originally written as Abner Ravenwood, Marion’s father. Despite the fact that John hurt is only two years older than Harrison Ford, his make-up paints a different picture.

And the line Indy delivers to him saying, “She’s Abner’s little girl,” only makes me think they quickly rewrote “She’s your little girl.”

But of course they probably felt that having said he was dead in the first film, it would take a lot of explaining. Oh sweet Lord!  You should have explained it! Anything to make me give a rat’s behind about this idiot! I think I would have at least cared a little bit about him if he was someone I’d heard of. He’s supposed to be someone that Indy cares enough about to fly to another continent to protect. So why do I not know him?

 I’ve known Indy for 27 years!  I think if this guy’s that important, he would have at least been brought up in the fifteen minutes before I find out he’s been kidnapped.

Instead he gets lumped in with Jim Broadbent as another pointless character.

But to return to the point, this “friend” has lost his mind. Or at least he’s acting differently than everyone who “knows” him is used to.

But since we’ve never seen or heard from him before, the audience isn’t noticeably affected by his “sudden” mania.

So we’ve been brought here to save this lunatic from some mildly irritating people who don’t even seem to have hurt him. They haven’t tied him up or anything.

In fact when we first see him, he’s dancing with them around a fire.

It looks like camping, not captivity.

But wait, is Cate going to torture Indy?

Could this be the opportunity to show us how tough he is?

No she just makes him look into the eyes of this crystal skull. This isn’t the least bit scary, by the way. He winces a little and then the Cate covers the skull with a cloth, thus rendering it inert.

No, really. She just drops a towel on it and that’s it. Where’s the evil?

The Soviets were the “Red Menace”, right?  So why aren’t they menacing?

I know they’re not the Nazis. And I know that Russia is our friend now, but are we trying to say that they’re not really bad people, they just got a bad rap for the whole “Communism” shtick?

You know, we are in South America… didn’t the Nazis hide Hitler’s clone down there?  Come on, Steven, you can bring the Nazis back.  I won’t mind. I promise. I’d like to at least have someone with an evil laugh.

Sorry, folks, we’re stuck with the Minsk Milquetoasts.

So then the reds threaten to hurt Mutt, and Indy says, “So what?”

So they bring him out of the “torture-less” tent and say they have someone he does care about. Who could this be?

Do you think it could be Marion?

It better be Marion because if they expect me to care about another character I have never met before, I might just cry… no, thankfully, it’s Marion.

MARION!  Yay!

Everybody in the theater goes wild! Thankfully covering up the hopelessly stupid line of dialogue she says when she WALKS out of the tent… unimpeded by handcuffs, not tied to a stake slowly rotating over a seething pit of lava, not even gagged… unfortunately.

It even looks like they’re keeping her well fed. Sorry, couldn’t help it. She “Randal’s” out of the tent casually, and they are instantly re-smitten. No sexual tension. Just release. It’s been twenty years and everything’s forgotten. Not even a wisp of a fight.  Not cool, Indy.  Not cool.

So now, after showing him that they are at least closer to Marion than he is (since she’s obviously not under any semblance of duress), Indy is willing to help the Commies with their plan to find the other lost place.

I’ve already forgotten where it was or why they were going there, it’s so inconsequential.

In fact, Indy doesn’t even care at this point. He starts unfolding maps and smiling with the “Reds”. He’s in a great mood. He’s back with the girl from the first movie.  He’s joined the festivities, just like every other person the Soviets have interacted with in this movie. Why should he care about anything else?

The audience sure doesn’t. The movie’s already over for us. The two people we wanted to see on screen together again are together again and happy. We can all go home and forget about the rest of the movie, right?

Yes. You can, and you should.

If you have made it this far into the film and not walked out, now is your chance. The rest of this film is pointless. Nothing else interesting happens from here on in… if you were interested in anything so far.

But unfortunately, there is still more.

Despite the fact that Indy and everybody else seems to be riding off into the off-color sunset, Mutt is unhappy. He doesn’t like the idea of helping the Commies, so he starts a fight and grabs the gang for a pursuit through the jungle, albeit a quick one.

Because fifteen seconds after they leave the campsite, Indy and Marion get stuck in quicksand.

The “psycho”, whose name I haven’t a reason to remember, gets sent to look for something to help get them out, and Mutt runs off too.

This may be the only scene I liked in the entire movie.  We get a rundown of the last twenty years without each other.  Marion tells Indy that Mutt is his son.  Indy gets a laugh with the “why didn’t he finish school?” gag that’s been building since we met the kid.  It’s a nice moment.

Then Mutt brings back a snake. Mutt keeps throwing the snake to Indy to grab onto to pull him out. It goes on for about five seconds too long with the “call it something else” bit, but it’s still a fun scene that works on all the levels it attempts.

And then the “psycho nut-ball” guy comes back with the “bad” guys as “help”. And the one good scene is over, and we go back to camp.

We move immediately to the prolonged “actually-effective” escape sequence. This felt like half the movie, and it’s probably where all the money went.

It’s a long car chase through the jungle just like the first movie, with Indy getting loose and throwing the driver of the truck in which they are being held, out of the window.  Then he frees the others and they try to escape. This one continuous scene is ridiculous, over the top and only serves the plot-wise purpose of separating Indy and the gang from the Commies by about a fifteen minute head start.

The whole thing is obviously CGI and lacks any tangible action.

It all feels like they realized halfway through the script that they forgot to add an action sequence, and this was the only place they could fit one in. And since this is an “action movie” it has to be sizeable.

But frankly this is pointless overkill. Almost the entire sequence is shot with a crane in a green screen room. After Indy takes the wheel, the film shifts to the studio. The camera moves impossibly in between the cars and through the trees.

There are shots on cliff-sides that are incredulous and unnecessary.

But do not let me forget the most egregious sequence in film history.

This malapropism is so terrible, it actually affects my love of another completely unrelated film.  I shall explain.

My favorite Charlie Chaplin movie is The Circus.

In one scene in that film, the Tramp is trying to impress the girl he loves by taking the place of the tightrope walker that she admires. Through a series of insane events, several monkeys are let loose into the tent where the Tramp is performing. These monkeys climb all over him, biting his nose and ears and covering his eyes, as he dances deftly on the high wire. It is possibly one of the funniest moments captured on film.

And Shia LeBeouf ruined it.

To be fair, he is not attempting to copy this trick, he is actually trying to play Tarzan… in an Indiana Jones movie. But the result is offensive.

Didn’t anyone learn from Peter Jackson’s King Kong that primates aren’t funny anymore? Yes, I include humans as primates, since that movie also rent the “funny” from Jack Black

This sequence with Mutt swinging from vines as if he suddenly remembered some latent talent, long suppressed, is a travesty and should be removed from any further versions of this movie.

Since George and Steven are apt to change their films for video release anyway, I make this simple plea. Removing this scene from the DVD might actually make up for the “no guns in E.T. / Greedo shot first” debacles. Almost. But it’s worth a try, you two, even if I don’t forgive you.

So, back to the action sequence.  We have the obligatory sword fight since poor Cate’s been carrying it around for the last hour and a half.

Oh yeah, and Shia mentioned he fenced, despite the fact he seems infatuated with his switchblade. The sword fight is more slapstick than action. In fact, the whole bit is literally a series of sticks slapping Shia in the crotch. It has to be one of the most awkward scenes I’ve ever seen. It isn’t funny. It doesn’t strengthen the action or add to the precarious nature of the fight. I think it might be to show how ‘tough’ Mutt is supposed to be… maybe?

I’m at a loss for a reasonable explanation.

And this portion of the scene lasts an uncomfortably long time. The perplexed look on my face while writing this should be entered as an illustration.

So Shia gets to fight Cate, because Harrison Ford doesn’t actually get to fight the main “bad” guy in the movie because she isn’t bad enough. Ford doesn’t get to sleep with her either, despite the fact that they hired a ridiculously attractive woman to play his antagonist. He does however get to fight the “heavy”, who eventually gets eaten by ants, because they’ve run out of cool ways to kill people and we’ve already recycled enough of the other plot devices from the first three movies, in a vain attempt to simply allude to them.

Oh yeah, he loses his hat once, but catches it when the ants try to carry it away, because this is a family film and ants making off with a hat that can’t be removed by a nuclear blast is funny, right?

No. Not funny. Not cool.

But we still aren’t finished. Marion mysteriously disappears with one of the cars into the jungle for ten minutes of this sequence, only to reappear when the fighting is over, to perform the most cartoon-like move I have ever seen in a live-action movie.

Despite this being a Paramount film, they borrow directly from a Warner Bros. cartoon and drop a car from a cliff onto a tree that bends down to dip the car, unscratched, into the water; and then the limb lashes back to whip the “bad” guys that are hanging on the edge of the cliff.

This doesn’t count as using a whip, you guys. Not cool, Indy.

So now we’re in the water and we have a ridiculously tired waterfall gag… three times.  Steven, if I sigh at the first one, why are there three?

And what happened to the miniatures and the real waterfalls?

This whole thing was done in a computer. The best part of the first three movies is that there weren’t any computer graphics. They used camera tricks and stunts. This movie feels like it’s trying to be so big, it couldn’t possibly be made for real.

So, quite frankly, it doesn’t feel real. And it doesn’t look real. I got totally sucked into the earlier movies because they felt real.

In Crusade there really was a flaming fuselage speeding past Indy and his dad when they drove through that tunnel. I saw it. It was on fire and that pilot looked over at the two of them as he went by… on fire!

But not a single person went over that waterfall.

I know it. I saw it. It was fake. That hurt.  Not cool, Indy.

So now we have an entire city hidden behind the nostril of some skull carved out of the waterfall face. They move ten, maybe twenty feet into the cave past the waterfall and suddenly, a wall breaks and they walk out into a large open mesa.

Didn’t they just fall down three waterfalls?

Couldn’t they see this from the top?

Are they still underground?

How can we see the sky then?

What just happened?

I don’t know, and we don’t stop to find out, because now we are being chased by a thousand inept Mayans or Aztecs or maybe it’s more ninjas. But the “psycho” mystery guy pulls out the skull and the pursuers run away.

So then they climb this hill and open the top of the pyramid and go down into a circular room with a bunch of shiny dead aliens. No really, that’s it. It happens that fast and it’s just as pointless.

But they’re not alone, because the Commies are right behind them. And the five of them left with machine guns are enough to kill the thousand or so native ninjas with absolutely no fanfare.

I’m giving this load of wasted opportunity its own paragraph.

I just remembered a very important plot device that should be told before I go further.  Ray Winstone’s character is actually a “good guy” who was using the “bad” guys to catch up with Indy. Except that he isn’t really a “good” guy because he reneges and sides with the “bad” guys again but in the end he forgets both sides and just tries to steal stuff from the treasure room the aliens have in the pyramid.

Oh yeah, and he dies when he shows that he’s really just selfish.

This may be the largest sum of money paid to an actor who serves no purpose whatsoever, in movie history… this film breaks a lot of new ground for such a colossal waste of time.

It’s not Ray’s fault. He was probably just happy to be asked to work on such a cool “sounding” project. But I’m not really sure what the character is meant to accomplish.  To say, “he has no arc” would be to imply he actually progresses with no resolution, but this character doesn’t actually do anything.

He doesn’t help Indy when he is on his side and he doesn’t help the Commies while siding with them. He doesn’t have any good lines. He doesn’t get to reveal something that only he knows. He doesn’t get any fight scenes. In fact, I can’t honestly remember where he is during the whole action sequence extravaganza. Or even which side he is on, during it.

The only things I can remember him saying are “Sorry, I’m with them,” and “I tried to tell you I was on your side, but you weren’t listening”. And his death scene is remarkably ambiguous. Even after serious thought, I still don’t understand why he says what he says. He tells Indy not to worry about him. They have a moment and then he goes off to get more treasure he can’t possibly carry away. He is going deeper into the temple, and he knows it is falling down around him.

I’m at a loss.

So at last we come to the biggest disappointment in the entire film… this far.  Remember the shiny aliens in the big room in the pyramid?  Aliens. I’m not kidding.

Yes, we are still in an Indiana Jones movie. And there are aliens.

Yes, this sucks just as much as you think it does. It turns out that the only Archaeology in the film was really done by the aliens prior to filming and they have unearthed a treasure room bigger than any museum. So really, Indy serves no purpose in any of his normal capacities here. He hasn’t found anything that the “nutball” didn’t find earlier.

And the aliens he was asked to analyze ten years ago turn out to be better at his job than he is. So not cool, Indy.

So the “psycho” regains his sanity when confronted with shiny alien skeletons, because, let me assure you, it’s a pretty sobering sight. Even if you’re drunk on the “action” so far, this is definitely a cold hard slap in the face. Any delusion you might have had about this still turning out to be a movie about Archaeology are now gone.  This is not Indy IV, it’s Close Encounters II: of the Stupid kind.

The director even uses the same aliens.

 So actually I guess this could be a prequel, chronologically speaking. Spielberg has managed to turn his entire career into a Mobius strip in one swift, deft motion.

But just to make sure we aren’t confused enough by his insertion of aliens into an archaeology movie, he explains they aren’t really from another planet, but another dimension. Really?

How does that make it closer to an Archaeology themed movie? Who cares?

This was officially a bad idea. I know you surround yourself with a lot of people who are happy to make the money you pay them; so let me be the first to tell you:

This was a mistake.

Not just making them extra-dimensional, not just making them look like the first aliens in a movie you also made, but by putting aliens into this magnificent universe you created that, until now, only reaffirmed religious hope in a morally bankrupt world.

In three other movies, you had showed us that even without the direct power of a god that the things that people give holy power to, hold onto those powers. No matter what anyone’s religion. A Hebrew God. A Hindu God. A Christian God. You made all human faith seem possible. You made us believe in the powers of something we couldn’t see.  You never made judgment. You showed us possibility. There was still the mystery. There was still the need for faith

But here you show us an “alien”.

You tell us their power and you show us how they came and how they left. There is no mystery.  There are no questions. You show us evidence and leave us with facts.  Regardless of what other religions say, this cult of belief, in the jungles of South America, are right. You prove it. You show us their God.

Problem solved.

I don’t need to go to church anymore. I should just go to South America and wait for the aliens to come back. Thanks Steven. Now use my ten dollars to pay someone else to make you feel better, because I don’t like you anymore.

Sorry to get a little mean there.  I guess I should get back to lighter things I didn’t like.  Let’s talk about what everyone else is talking about. The wedding.

That’s right. In case someone else didn’t already ruin it for you, I will.

Indy marries Marion.  What a gyp!

First off, there is absolutely no chemistry between the two of them in this movie. There are several obviously faked longing looks passed between the two of them, but the kissing looks like they’re related by blood, and this actually causes physical pain in their loins to be touching lips like this.

I had heard that they really didn’t hit it off while filming the first movie, but this looked awful. I believed that they never tried to contact each other for twenty years. I was not remotely convinced by this film that they would end up together.

When Mutt keeps them from kissing in the pyramid, they look relieved.

I thought the follow-up line should have been, “Next time, stop this sooner!”

And why would you end with this wedding scene. It puts a cap on such an odd action frenzy of a film that only “bottles-in” the confusion it tops.

John Hurt’s line about wasted time seems to be a thematic explanation, but to what?  The movie hasn’t been about that.

The series of movies weren’t about that.

And then they make what seems to be a closing statement into a prelude by showing us Mutt trying to put the hat on.

Indy’s line of “Not this time,” is probably the scariest thing in the whole movie.

I covered my eyes when I thought they might show a flash forward of “Mutt Jones and the Diner of the Flaming Virgins” or whatever money-fueled stupidity Steven and George have implied with that line.

What this movie should have been is a short one-reeler containing the snake/rope scene and the first kiss between Indy and Marion in twenty years (Except that it should be a convincing one. Didn’t they pay you two enough to act?).

Two minutes. Clean. Simple. Cheap.  Same result… except without the seething hatred inspired by the destruction of some of my fondest childhood memories.

So next time, just make something new.

You can cash in on your success by making another movie together, just don’t tack it on to the end of one your good movies.

Use your imagination. It is supposed to be the only inexhaustible source of energy in the world…  just don’t make a movie about how you screw that up too.

Better luck next time.

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text:
This is giving me the creeps! Hope I don't recall while going to sleep tonight!

Posting again!

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Ten Dimensions Explained

Bowloftoast sez, "This is a short animation that takes the viewer through a progressive description of all (and all possible) dimensions, up to and including the 10th. It is an elegant introduction to the fundamentals of string theory and a mind-blowing toe-dip into the pool of the metaphysical."

Imagining the Tenth Dimension (Thanks, Bowloftoast!)

Cool video! It does get crazy after the 3rd as you can imagine!

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New Movie Blog

Okay! I am showing off with my new domain name! Just started a new movie blog. Just for movie reviews, previews, rants, and the like.

Tada! Through the Motions! No pun whatsoever intended! Only verbal diarrhea guaranteed!

And yeah, we start of with Kaminey!

Jai Hind!

Yet another Independence Day. What does it mean for us now? Watch a couple of national integration songs, feel patriotic, and continue doing our shit. Most of us become cynical over the years. Impatience grows. Finally we get detached. I can't help think of the past. As a child, I used to dream of doing great things for the nation. May be we all did! What happened after that? Reality struck down our dreams I guess. Most of us were not willing to sacrifice and move away from our comfort zone. Only to get cynical over time.

Fuck your cynicism and watch the following video! Go back in time and feel good about our country! Jai Hind!

P.S: Heard the following song at Tempostand. Pretty good listen.

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Got a forward of a not-so-comprehensive list of Mohalal's awards. The man never ceases to amaze. You write him off and he comes back with a blast. Latest case in point being Bhramaram. I have been planning to do a write-up on my personal favourites of the man's performances. Couldn't be a better time!

The following list has no particular order. In the order of what comes to my mind! :-)

This movie makes me disturbed. Period. The fate of Sethumadhavan can occur to any honest person. A man who loses everything loves due to no fault of his. This songs sums it all.

If the protagonist in Kireedom is a result of societal issues, the protagonist in Spadikam is a result of bad parenting. One of the best action films in Malayalam, which curiously is also one of the best family drama.

Aaram Thampuran

My favourite scenes in the movie are the combination scenes involving Manju Warrier and Mohanlal. Smooth talking and witty dialogues. Exceptional facial expressions. The best of Mohanlal comes out when he acts with other class actors. Sadly, this is missing these days! I wonder how better Bhramaram would have been, if others could act worth a salt!

Even though this movie shines mainly because of the beautiful writing and skillful direction of Padmarajan, you cannot deny the class of Mohanlal's acting. He slipped easily into the role of a simple villager, later revealed to be not-so-simple. His scenes with Sumalatha are the best in the movie.

If you don't have tears after watching this, you can be sure that you have no heart. This is the best scene from the movie.

The best drunk Mohanlal scene. He is the best actor when it comes to portraying drunk characters. Natural and very endearing! No wonder we Malayalees like to drink!

A landmark movie in the landscape of Malayalam commercial cinema. Especially since it spawned a series of good and terrible superman movies. Mangalasheri Neelakantan will live on as "the man" of Malayalam cinema for a long time.

Summer in Bethlehem

The movie is peppy and smart, but looks to taper of into a glum, emotional drama until Mohanlal steps in taking you by surprise. He appears on screen for less than 8 minutes. But the impact is so big that you forget everybody else and giving the movie a satisfactory ending.

No list is complete without the late eighties comedy masterpiece Nadodikaattu and its sequel. You still laugh just thinking about the scenes. The dialogues from the movie has become part and parcel of our language.

Mohanlal plays the role of eccentric doctor to perfection. The way his expressions and body language change is fascinating.

Making a list of Mohanlal's performances is akin to finding a needle in the haystack. This is not a top ten list. Just a list of ten! Here is another list by Brijesh Nair which features a few other (better?) performances.

Mohanlal movies I am looking forward to are with Roshan Andrews and Unnai Pol Oruvan with Kamal Haasan.

Share your favourite performances as well!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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This is why I miss Kerala so much...

First things first! My home does not look like the wonderful pictures
here. Still, I just need to travel 20-30 Km and visit some relations
to experience all this. What I would do it spent a lazy afternoon in
the green fields! Sunlight playing hide and seek behind the coconut
leaves. The small pond which hides the mysteries inside it with a hazy
gleam. The vast expanse of rubber estates with the smoke shacks. The
hills far away looking blue and green alternatively.

August 29th couldn't be farther!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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via inquisitr.com
The demise of Fredrick Shinjoma started when (and we’re not making this up) a chicken belonging to Shinjoma’s brother laid an egg in his house. Fredrick, keen to give the egg to his brother, took it to his brothers house late one evening, where the sister-in-law greeted him while not wearing any clothes. But it gets weirder yet: Fredrick, who according to local media was shocked by seeing his sister-in-law naked, told his brother the next day. The brother wasn’t happy, then reprimanded his wife. She then decided that she’d commit suicide, and was in the process of hanging herself when “apprehended” and stopped by local villagers. After hearing the news of his sister-in-laws attempted suicide, Fredrick became deeply upset and despite having done nothing wrong, hung himself out of some sense of shame.

This has to be the most weird news in a very long time! On a side note, doesn't this stuff look like something straight out of older Bollywood movies?

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

Yet another tag! Got it from here.

What is your salad dressing of choice? Chipotle Southwest/Sweet Onion …

Err...what? I generally have salad only at Italian restaurants. Too fancy a name to remember!

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?

Depends on company. I love Indijoe though.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?

Home cooked food. Dosa takes the cake, followed by rice.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?

What do you like to put on your toast?

Butter and Jam. Orange marmalade is also admissible!

How many televisions are in your house?

One (Two if you count my TV at TVM!)

How many remotes?
Three including the DVD player and Set Top box. (Doubles if answered as above)

What color is your cell phone?

Silver with blue lining. Ask me about this after a month or two! :->

Do you have an iPod?

No. I have something better! Cowon iAudio 7

How many computers?

Two. My faithful desktop and office lappy.

Are you right-handed or left-handed?

What is the last heavy item you lifted?

Does my jaw count. Still feeling heavy and numb from a session at the dentist's. The alien item would be my laptop.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

Couple of times in kindergarden.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

Not really. Then again, if such a possibility existed, I would not have peace of mind unless I found out!

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

I wouldn't change my name for the world now! It would be really wierd. I would have preferred Narayan Nair. A choice that my parents gave me before I joined LKG. I insisted on the initials instead. They complied. Pooe me is reaping the rewards(!) now. My Outlook ID says Sushama Sivaramakrishnan, Narayan. People address me as Sushama and expect a damsel in distress, only to find a big, ugly guy instead! Can change remove Sushama if I really want, but I feel really sad to cut my mom's name off!

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?

If the exchange rates remain favourable, hell yeah!

Now its Onam and Christmas. The time I take vacation from work.

Day of the week?

Saturday. Sleep till noon after Friday night party. Roam around Bangalore and party again all night!

I like December. Cool. Holidays.

Missing someone?

Numb. Literally! My jaw is still very numb and its affecting my psyche as well!

What are you listening to?

Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd on Amarok :P

Current worry?

Slipped deadlines!!! (aaargh!)

First place you went this morning?

Inisde the house: Downstairs to check on the downloads.

Outside the house: Neighbourhood juice stall to get my morning milk shake.

What’s the last movie you saw?

Pattanathil Bhootham. Horrible. Absolutely horrible! I saw a horror dream after watching it. Neither scary nor steamy!

Do you smile often?

Could do better I think! Its either grim or a 100W.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?

What the hell is that!

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?

Couple of weeks back. Police picked us up for driving a Kerala registration car.

Last person you talked to?

Nikhil. We were mulling over watching Harry Potter this weekend.

Last person you hugged?

Umm. Need to go some time back. A colleague at work I think.

Do you always answer your phone?

No. I always end up keeping the cellphone some place where I cannot hear it ringing.

It’s four in the morning and you get a text message who is it usually from?

Airtel. Informing I have a new mail. I just cannot frigging turn that bloody stuff off!

Do you own a digital camera?

Have you ever had a pet fish?

Favorite Christmas song?

Jingle bells?

What’s on your wish list for your birthday?

For my last birthday I wished someone would donate to Pratham Books through Causes. The only donor was me in the end! I think I will do something like that for the next birthday too.

Can you do push ups?

Yeah. Don't ask the number. Very rusty now. Creaking bones. Getting old.

Can you do the splits?

I have no intention of turning myself into eunuch who cannot walk. For that matter, even a eunuch who can walk!

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?

Both. The proportion varies according to mood.

Do you have any saved texts?

A few. A current mobile is the most basic one. Cannot save many messages.

Do you have an accent?

Pure blood mallu says yes saar.

What is the last movie to make you cry?

Pattanathil bhootam. After banging my head in the wall a few hundred times.

Plans tonight?

Read The Zoya Factor. Pretty decent book. Peppy and a little girlish!

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?

Have I? Go through the blog mate!

Name 3 things you bought last?

Tuborg. Chicken Noodles. A barrell of water.

Have you ever been given roses?

Nope. I would love to get them though. Very tasty! :-D

Met someone who changed your life?

Yes. Kind of.

Name two people who might complete this?

This ain't poetry!

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

I always wished I could turn back time and make things right. Now, I wish I could just go back in time and savour my best moments without altering anything.

Do you have any tattoos/piercing?

Nah! I have had enough piercing inside my mouth for a lifetime after today!

Does anyone love you?

I don't know. If you do, don't be shy! You know where to find yours truly!

Would you be a pirate?

Arrrrr! Already am a big cyber pirate!

What songs do you sing in the shower?

Sometimes I sing. Usually heavy stuff with a lot of air guitar playing.

Ever had someone sing to you?

Felt like several songs were tailor made for me. Does that count?

When did you last cry?

Long time I guess. If you meant give a loud cry, then it would 3-4 hours back!

Have you held hands with anyone today?

Who was the last person you took a picture of?

I think it was Kiran's. We have Nikon D60 as our guest and he made me take the most impossible profile shots!

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?

Most are old. The newest would be around 1 year old!

Do you like pulpy orange juice?

Minute Maid ftw!

What is something your family or friends make fun of you for?

My fancy ideas and inflated dreams!

In other news, I got a new domain! If you are in my blogger blog look closely at your address bar. My name minus the vowels! I used this nick while playing Counter Strike a few years back.

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

18 Days - A Sci-Fi Mahabharata Retelling

via io9.com
Given the nature of the medium and the kaleidoscopic possibilities of the original narrative, my intention is not to tell the story in strict chronological order (beginning with Shantanu and progressing through the various stories towards the war) instead I'd like to approach the text not in a linear fashion but as a 3-dimensional structure to which we can continually add new modular episodes which will eventually build up into an incredible mosaic of the War and the events surrounding it. In this way the story will grow in power and interconnectivity as we build it up piece by piece, episode by episode.

The animation does not look very polished. The man has good vision though. Lets hope that it turns out to be excellent.

On a side note, why can't our film makers adapt stories from epics? There are zillions of side stories worth retelling in the modern world. How far will our movie industries go by aping the west and displaying disgusting opulence never seen in real life.

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

I like it! It may look downright ridiculous, but think about it folks! Innovation is not about the pixels you pump, its about the pixels you hump! I can see a Virtual Sex game made from this!

On a serious note, simulation games could get a huge boost. We could see a Polo game, horse racing, knight in shining armor...Hmm...may be we can combine the Knight in shining armour and Virtual hump. Good times people! (If Nintendo goes ahead with this!)

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

Very glad that I don't have a boss like this! I have been there crushed by that earlier though!

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

Must read article. Whats with the weird ears I wonder always! A writer with ear fetish responsible?

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

via io9.com
But even with a weak story behind it, Ponyo proves Miyazaki is still a master animator, one whose vision and attention to detail may be unparalleled. The tsunami, with waves represented as giant, eager fish, is at once beautiful in its magical elements and terrifying for its very realistic power, and once Sosuke's city is submerged, Miyazaki shows us the underwater remnants of suburbia as enticingly tranquil, rather than as skeletons of human society. And he can add humor to a scene by simply with the apt placement of an octopus or crab in the background. It's certainly a film whose visual elements will demand repeated watchings, and a light enough tale to make those watchings enjoyable.

Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea is the latest Hayao Miyazaki movie from the Studio Ghibli stable. Have to get hold of it! Click through for the entire review!

If you haven't seen Studio Ghibli movies yet, get hold of a few and watch! You have no idea what you are missing!

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

Awesome stuff. Its a meme done to death. Still manages to evoke laughter!

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

A little cruel my heart says! I loved watching Full House with my mom. Stephanie was my favourite character.

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

Billy saves the day

Two girls. Fighting for justice. From the land of the free and the home of the brave. Arrives at the shore of a new land. One smug, one with a stupid smile.

They see a man wave. They wave back!

Behold! Caught by the evilest of all evils! Their crime? They were born. Kim Jong doesn't like people who are born. They should kneel down and kiss the ground when he waves. Only the ones transcended from heavens like him can wave at Kim Jong.

His intentions were clear. He wanted to show the girls the proof of his "divinity." He assured them they would be divine after he is through!

The girls wailed! A birdie heard their cries.

Birdie took the news to land of the free!

He heard. He came.

Nah! I haven't come yet. Billy said staring longingly at the pictures of the damsels in distress.

Jong had heard about his exploits. He called him in. He wished to know the secret mojo.

How do you do it Billy?

Communication is the key. Remember, mouth is not just for eating!

Jong was impressed. He wanted a photo. Billy insisted on his special camera for special friends. Jong and company was hypnotized by the reflection of Billy boy's eyes on the camera lens. Billy boy smiled. It ought to keep them down for two days. Billy told his aide to ready the flight for the next day. He wanted to enjoy the Korean landscape.

He felt an itch in the back of his neck. His mind wandered to Washington...

Unknown to Billy boy, Washington had perfected a mind reader chip. Unknown to Barry, known only to the dear leader of the NWO.

Image courtesy: Reuters, Superpoop

P.S: I know its lame. Couldn't resist!

Posted via email from Pain on the Posterior

via youtube.com thanks to Mashable

Heath Ledger was supposed to direct this music video for the band Modest Mouse to raise awareness against whaling. Unfortunately, he passed away before his ideas translated to the screen. Modest Mouse has released the video which was directed by a consortium of directors and artists based on Ledger's vision.

Rest in peace, Heath.

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

Neelathaamara - Return to roots?

Neelathaamara is a remake of the movie with the same name released in 1979. The remake is written by M T Vasudevan Nair and directed by Lal Jose. Expectations are sky high. One of the best young directors in the Malayalam movie industry and MT requires no introduction. The major characters are played by newcomers, apart from the character played by Samvrutha Sunil.

After watching these stills, I am a little apprehensive. Will the current generation be able to relate to the story? The basic story of love and lust is universal, but the presentation? From the stills, it seems that the movie is disconnected from the current Malayali society and ethos. I hope I have to eat my words. Even if I have to, I also hope that people actually go and watch the movie rather than yawn it off like they did in the case of Achanurangaatha Veedu. That was one of Lal Jose's best, and did not taste commercial success.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from Pain on the Posterior

Really! Twitter is very creepy if you think. The key to enjoying it? Stop thinking too much!

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior


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Monday, 24 September 2007

A short hiatus

If it appears that I've been a little quiet recently, its because I've been on my (delayed) honeymoon and have emigrated to Sydney, Australia from London, England.

I'm also in the process of writing a science fiction short story based on Eve Online. You'd think that never having played the game would be a disadvantage, but as it turns out, I'm basing it in a near future featuring Eve Online, as opposed to in the universe of Eve Online. Its inspired by comments made by Hilmar Peterssun in the presentations on Eve Online and online worlds at the Edinburgh Interactive Festival that I attended recently. Its taking shape in a way that I feel is good enough to publish in a real science fiction magazine.

So I'd be interested in any comments on which magazines would be the most interested and whether anyone reading this has any experience submitting unsolicited manuscripts for publication.

Edit: Looks like Interzone has an email submission window coming up.

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Religions in Middle-Earth

One of my esteemed collabourators in Unangband has taken me to task on the implementation of religion in a game currently set in Middle-Earth (And I'll save talking about the risks of doing this, and my transition plan away from Middle-Earth for another time - be assured that its a version 2 item). His original post is here. I'll quote the relevent sections. Its worth noting he's much more more informed about Tolkien's work than me, and that he posts enough information to support the decision to retain priests in Angband, as Nick McConnell notes.

Not that I am a purist, but I wonder, do you know any priests in Middle Earth? Anything close? I guess Numenorean kings, the good and the bad ones, I guess lots of evil men, if you want evil religion, anything else? I seem to remember Silmarillion and other unfinished tales have more magic and more religion in them. In LOTR and Hobbit it is all but absent. Frodo calls Varda, anyting else? I've heard something about a dwarven (secret?) religion, or was it Silmarillion?

I guess the angels (gods) were much easier accessible to the people in Middle Earth. Just over the Sea and often visible, so this may be why there was less rituals and more cooperation (or at least the memory of cooperation). They were better known so it was obvious they cannot be bribed on one hand and do not persecute for lack of worship, on the other hand.

It was obvious they are not The One, so they were not worshiped as autonomous God/Gods, but as servants of The One. It was useless to try to get their help in opposing the justice/song/fate of The One. They didn't try to be self-sufficient, so a worship of one Vala exclusively would be foolish, because every Vala was weak in very many vital areas and strong only in his chosen ones. The One has not shown his face to the people back then, nor revealed himself in any other way than through world and Valar (though some say he was Tom Bombadil, etc., or that he was yet to come to Middle Earth). So it was quite hard, abstract and impersonal to worhip The One (but there are the Numenoreans, I wonder why them of all).
In response, I was trying to put in religions as the priest version of mage schools e.g. an game based element, rather than an attempt to recreate Tolkien's mythology. Think of the Unangband religion implementation more as 'favours' or 'dedications' than religions - I know Tolkien deliberately eschewed mentioning of any formal religions in Middle-Earth. Maybe renaming religions.txt as favours.txt and discussing 'favours from higher powers' as opposed to religions will help in this regard.

Having said that, I'm really not happy with what I've currently done with 'religions' from a game implementation point of view. There's not enough to differentiate the various religion startups. At the moment I have 9 1st level and 9 3rd level priest spells that are viable for the first book. Each religion has 5 of each these in their starting book. And each 3rd level spell has (usually) 1 1st level spell as a pre-requisite.

The intention was that you'd pick a religion to try and sway which spells you ended up getting 'randomly assigned'. Priests, as a game mechanic both in Angband and Unangband, can only choose which prayer book to study - they get gifted a random spell by the gods of all the valid spells that they can learn from that book. That suggests I should probably cut down the number of starting spells per book to 4 1st /4 3rd or even 3 1st / 3 3rd for all or some religions, to allow religion choice to lead to a less random spell selection.

However, there's certain spells that are pretty much mandatory. Like the mage schools, priests need a starting healing spell, and a starting detect creature spell to be playable. This is not a requirement: I could see Tulkas not granting a detect creature spell for instance, but any priest without a starting healing spell is going to die pretty quickly.

The problem is, is that if I go down this path, the religions/favours are going to end up looking like mage schools. In which case, what's the point of distinguishing the two, or having separate priest and mage classes for that matter?

I definitely picked too many religions to start with as well (9) instead of growing the mage schools organically up from 3 to 7.

So I've disabled all the religions except Mandos for the moment, and am going to feel out this one and probably sit on it a little while and let my subconscious digest it.

Probably in the same way I'm going to end up rolling back the MALE | FEMALE changes I just did (which don't really work either and are too hacky).

And that sometimes happens with the way I develop Unangband. I might spend half a day or a day on a feature, only for it not to work out, and have to throw it away. Its a good learning experience, and one I'm taking forward to the next game I'll be developing.

Increasing Challenge in Roguelikes

There is a good article on increasing challenge in roguelikes over at the Temple of the Roguelike. As I've mentioned previously, I've probably gone too far in making Unangband hard and I now need to recruit people in order to play test the deeper levels, as Matthias Rudolf correctly points out. Its probably worth noting that the author, Andrew Grech, aka Roguery, doesn't discuss the difficulty curve of the original Rogue, which errs on the side of making monsters increase in difficulty faster than the player increases in power, as John Harris of @ Play notes.

It looks like the Temple of the Roguelike has got a few more people posting to it as well, as the recent flurry of articles suggests.

Kane & Lynch: The Road to Hollywood

What a surprise! Ian Livingstone's sold himself out, as previously noted, in order to fast track himself to Hollywood via Tango & Cash, I mean, Kane & Lynch: The Movie. The sub-text of his mediocre presentation on character at the Edinburgh Interactive Festival was always 'how to sell your character across lots of merchandising opportunities, because I don't care about the gaming community anymore'.

And the gameplay and footage were decidly average, Ian. I guess one taste of the Hollywood gods via Lara wasn't enough.

[Edit: Maybe he's just talking himself up for the take over bid]

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Unangband 0.6.2-wip6a has been released

For full details, head over to the release notice.

Sunday, 2 September 2007

David Gervais' tile sets

One of the unsung heroes of Angband and roguelikes in general is David Gervais, who designed the 32x32 tilesets for AngbandTK originally, and extended these to the 54x54 tilesets which I've adopted in Unangband.

I just ran across a google post that puts a little bit of the history of this development into perspective. I was actually looking for the original copy of his 54x54 tile sets, which were hosted here but the site currently appears down. If you have a copy of the original tiles, please drop me a line - I had them on one of the laptops that was recently stolen.

This came up in discussion about getting a new icon for Unangband. Suggestions and designs are welcome.

Saturday, 1 September 2007


text:
30 September 2009

Topless car wash in Singapore Tease and Wash Photographs! 18SX!!! NSFW!!!

Note : This post is about bizarre news and its not porn related ok! you dont get this kinda news everyday and even the star is talking about it! There is nothing porn about this ok! If you think this is porn then goan fark urself!

Remembered i blogged about the First Topless car wash in Singapore back in September and everyone thinks its a hoax?

Everyone keeps saying that thing like this is impossible to happen in Singapore!!!

Well guess what? Today your luck is extremely good! My Buddy Casey from enginelounge.com is really a lucky basket!!!

I m now so the jeles of him bcoz he got the invites to goan shoot the whole TOPLESS CAR WASH thingy in Singapore and bring it back to Malaysia so that you hamsap baskets all can feast your eyes!!!!

The Entrance to HEAVEN CAR WASH!! LOL!

And this is one smexy jiejie washing car!! got see anot?!! REALLY TOPLESS CAR WASH LEH!!!

TOPLESS jiejie posing for the photo after washing car!

TOPLESS jiejie spray water leh!

TOPLESS jiejie rub rub your car!!! .... phuhhhhh .. rub rub here ... rub rub there ....

3 TOPLESS jiejies washing ONE car!!!! How to tahan?!!! HOW?!!!

TOPLESS jiejie spray water

OMG spray again!!!! Must tahannnnn!!!!! *inhaleeee ... exhaleeeee...*

No car? no car nevermind!!! TOPLESS jiejie willing to wash motorbike also!!! No motorbike?!! Bicycle also can!!!

After wash can camwhore with all the TOPLESS jiejies wann!!! Where on earth can u get your car wash by 3 TOPLESS jiejies and at the end of it ... they let u camwhore with them wan?!!! ONLY in Singkapoh!!!

They wash car Clean anot?? DOES IT REALLY MATTERS?!!! DOES IT??!!!! KAKAKA!!!!

Ok jokes aside ... seriously ... Whats the motive behind this Topless Carwash? Here is why ....

SKEPTICS had doubted such a show in squeaky clean Singapore but it was no tease. They were indeed wet, bubbly and topless.

Four young and sexy women did wash cars wearing only their bikini bottoms and high heels, as promised by the operator of a new motoring website.

Twenty lucky members of the Motoring Exchange portal were given a special treat to have their cars washed by the babes on Sept 26.

The location, kept a secret before the event, was an abandoned warehouse. It was dubbed a “private event” to use a loophole in Singapore’s laws pertaining to public nudity.
Read more here

Nosebleed pics source : http://www.enginelounge.com (yes .. there is more pics there!)

  1. wah lau beh huet ah

  2. Hmm...like I said..its only chests...everybudy oso got la...but I wonder the pixellations on the pictures can remove ah? haha...

  3. convoy convoy jommmmmmm....

  4. All the boobies censored! why!!

  5. fuh~! geng geng! very hot now

  6. Oh my god, Singapore gomen is so open.

  7. lin peh must be 1 of them....

  8. wahhh...so CHIOO!!

  9. Walau... sexy... chiong ah..

  10. u guys watch lah ...
    i be the car kakaka
    let them wash me n wash my exhaust pipe kakaka ~ ^0^

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