text:
Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums with no limits on posts or members.
Learn More · Register Now
Viewing Single Post From: AMC: Greenlee & Aidan gamble on love

Source: New York Daily News

Friday, August 8th 2008, 4:00 AM

Greenlee pops the question to Aidan today on "All My Children," leading to a raucous wedding next week.

"Greenlee and Aidan go off to Vegas," says Rebecca Budig, who plays Greenlee. "They meet this old couple who should have gotten married, like, 40 years ago. They are getting married now in Vegas, which inspires Greenlee to not waste any more time."

Aidan and Greenlee find a chapel, "and it just so happens that Ryan, Annie, Kendall and Zach show up," says Budig with a laugh. "Isn't that odd? Call me crazy, but aren't there like a thousand chapels in Vegas?"

Since Ryan is secretly in love with Greenlee, it's quite a coincidence.

"There's a moment where we think he might stop the wedding, but he doesn't," says Budig.

Ryan forever holds his peace, and Greenlee and Aidan are pronounced husband and wife.

"Then they all go gambling, and there is a sort of reception. They all hang out together and go dancing right there in the casino."

Greenlee and Ryan share a dance (awkward!) and the partying goes to the wee hours. Then, the newlyweds finally have their wedding night.

"It's beautiful and sweet," says Budig. "Aidan has set up the whole room full rose petals, and they make love."

That's nice. But does Greenlee really love Aidan?

"I think she just wants what everyone else has - happiness - and Aidan gives her that," says Budig. "She is convincing herself she doesn't feel anything for Ryan because he's married. In her mind, he is off limits. She is going to move on with her life. That's what I think, anyway - but I could get the next script and that could all change."

Indeed, Ryan and Annie's marriage is about to hit a serious rough patch, thanks to Greenlee.

"She wants him to realize how crazy Annie is," says Budig. "Not funny-crazy like Greenlee, but really crazy. Nuts."

Comings and goings: Billy Miller (ex-Richie, "AMC") is jumping to "The Young and the Restless" to play Billy Abbott. ... A Martinez (ex-Cruz, "Santa Barbara") joins "One Life to Live" as Langston's uncle in September. Melissa Fumero (Adriana) is also coming back. ... Jon Prescott (Mike) exits "As the World Turns" in October.

Don't touch that dial: Nick confesses his feelings to Katie next week on "The Bold and the Beautiful" (CBS, 1:30 p.m.), which is good timing considering she's pregnant with his child.
[email protected]
Offline Profile Quote Post
AMC: Greenlee & Aidan gamble on love · General Daytime News


Content-Type: application/http; msgtype=response

WARC-Truncated: length

WARC-Type: response

text:
Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

Viewing Single Post From: Wednesday, December 19th Daily Discussion
Member Avatar

Dec 19 2012, 06:44 PM
Dec 19 2012, 06:33 PM
Dec 19 2012, 06:27 PM
Go Lucas! Lucas should've said this a long time ago. Glad it's finally come about. More people should have a problem with Jennifer dating Daniel, but one of the most important people that should have a problem would be Lucas. It's about time! I was rooting Lucas on until he mentioned Jack. I don't know. That just doesn't seem like his place to throw that in Jennifer's face. I'd have liked that coming from Abigail, JJ or Adrienne. Not Lucas. It's not for him to say how soon Jennifer should move on from Jack. So the slap was well-deserved. But so was the Daniel bashing from Lucas. That was deserved as well, and long-coming. Daniel did Lucas dirty. And while I would never think Jennifer would let what Daniel did to Lucas in the past come between her and Daniel, Lucas should never be pro-Dannifer. At least not for a while. If something happens down the line that could possibly change Daniel in Lucas' eyes, then so be it. But until that happens, Lucas should be the biggest protester.

Did they say who had Allie today? Usually when DAYS wants to show their favoritism towards Johnny and Sydney, they'll just give a throwaway line about Allie being with Lucas. Well, we saw Lucas with Jennifer. There was no Allie. And Allie wasn't with Sami and her siblings (where she should be!) either. I hope she grows up to be the biggest brat Salem has ever seen!

Loved Hope's eagerness to be the one to tell John about Kristen and Brady. I like Hope in this busybody role. It's similar to how she was back in 2007 when she found out about Belle and Philip's affair. For some reason, Alfonso comes alive when Hope has her nose in other people's business. I love it. More please!
Jennifer slapped Lucas after he mentioned her becoming another notch on Douche's bedpost not because of Jack. And I don't expect any objections from Adrienne. Hell she pushed Jennifer to date Daniel the first time around when they didn't even know where Jack was. :eyeroll:
The first time, they were all under the impression Jack abandoned them. Again.

As for the slap, that might have been what brought on the slap, but it was after Lucas brought up Jack. I just don't think it was Lucas' place. Like I said, someone closer to Jack, I could understand that coming from and would understand their reason for saying that to Jack, like Adrienne or Jack's children. Lucas saying it just came off as cruel and hurtful. Unnecessary.
Oh I didn't think so. One, it was perfectly on point and something Jenn needed to hear/have pointed out to her. So it was completely necessary. Yes, Lucas wasn't as close to Jack as Abigail or Adrienne, etc. but he wasn't a stranger, nor was he oblivious to the history Jack and Jenn shared. And he has been a husband/lover/fiancee betrayed, so I think that comes into play too (the solidarity another poster mentioned). It was so on point and something - the thing being Jenn's complete lack of mourning for Jack - that could be noticed or intuited by even the most casual of observers. I thought Lucas was 110% correct on every single thing he said today, and I loved it.
Edited by elci525, Dec 19 2012, 10:09 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post
Wednesday, December 19th Daily Discussion · DAYS: News, Spoilers & Discussion

warcinfo:
robots: classic
hostname: ip-10-171-96-226.ec2.internal
software: Nutch 1.6 (CC)/CC WarcExport 1.0
isPartOf: CC-MAIN-2015-35
operator: CommonCrawl Admin
description: Wide crawl of the web for August 2015
publisher: CommonCrawl
format: WARC File Format 1.0
conformsTo: http://bibnum.bnf.fr/WARC/WARC_ISO_28500_version1_latestdraft.pdf


text:
Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

Viewing Single Post From: Spoilers for the week of January 7th

What if Chloe's ally turns out to be Maggie? A longshot, I know. But Maggie was all over the map last Fall, at first pushing and propping Dannifer, then turning on Jennifer, then encouraging Brady to move toward Jennifer, then back to Dannifer again, then mad at Jennifer again. It was hard to keep up! lol.

Maybe Chloe convinces her that the best thing for Daniel is to be reunited with his son and his son's mother. That would pit Maggie against both Jennifer and Kate for different reasons, and it would cause conflict with Victor, who doesn't like Chloe.

Offline Profile Quote Post
Spoilers for the week of January 7th · DAYS: News, Spoilers & Discussion


text:
Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

Viewing Single Post From: Spoilers for the week of January 20th
Member Avatar

Jan 9 2014, 08:48 PM
Jan 9 2014, 07:41 PM
I am sorry, is there actually an image we can see? Just want to see the cloths, if its from the cabin or a new scene.

Oh and I agree with above. Hope its not a daydream.
I will send you a PM of the picture because I'm not sure I'm allowed to put it on here...if DR doesn't mind I will be happy to share it.

I just watched the show for today--and I think Abby has the same dress on in the picture that she is wearing today, so it could be a daydream, or EJ might make an stop by her place to check on her and Gabi. Since I saw her in the dress, it is confusing till we see it happen on screen!
It may also just be a staged photo and not be from a scene. I haven't paid enough attention in the past few years to notice, but they used to use staged photos a lot. We would drive ourselves a little crazy in the early days of Lumi searching for scenes to match all of the pics.
Offline Profile Quote Post
Spoilers for the week of January 20th · DAYS: News, Spoilers & Discussion


text:
Take the 2-minute tour ×
Database Administrators Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for database professionals who wish to improve their database skills and learn from others in the community. It's 100% free, no registration required.

Does this design satisfy 3NF, and can any improvements be made?

If it does not satisfy 3NF - why?

By improvements, I only care if it will seriously affect scalability, efficiency, etc - I'm not interested in personal preferences.

To add more detail, there can be many bids to a project and any employee can create a new bid. Unit price can be different for each project/bid.

enter image description here

share|improve this question
Unless you're using some prehistoric database, you could use whole words for field names. What is 'Code?' –  podiluska Oct 9 '12 at 7:13
Oh, Code? is irrelevant, and should be ignored for the sake of my question regarding 3NF –  Doctor Oreo Oct 9 '12 at 8:16
Generally, you end up denormalizing for scalability often. –  rfusca Nov 9 '12 at 1:20
Why do you prefix every table with tbl? That looks really strange. –  a_horse_with_no_name Dec 8 '12 at 12:01
Your design suggests not only that there are bids per project but that an Employee can make many bids per Project and per Item. And that there is no notion (or you don't record it) of Bid-of-Employee-for-a-certain-Project. If that is your specifications, that part is fine (although this kind of many-to-may-to-many relationships usually need more attention of what you want to model and maybe splitting into more tables). –  ypercube Dec 8 '12 at 12:06

3 Answers 3

up vote 2 down vote accepted

The normal forms apply to individual tables. Dependencies are semantic; they depend on what the data means. Normalizing by relying on column names alone is not very reliable.

  • TblClient is in 5NF.
  • TblEmployee might have a transitive dependency and be only in 2NF, if EmployeeNm->EmployeeRole.
  • TblItem might have a transitive dependency and be only in 2NF, if (ItemType, ItemDesc)->Size, or if ItemDesc->Size.
  • TblProject might have a transitive dependency and be only in 2NF, if (ProjectSite, EstBeginDt)->EstCompleteDt, or if (ProjectSite, EstBeginDt)->anything else.

Every one of these tables almost certainly needs an additional unique constraint on one or more columns. Otherwise you're likely to end up with data that looks like this.

ItemID  ItemType  ItemDesc                Size
245     Flange    Engine mounting flange  13mm
246     Flange    Engine mounting flange  13mm
247     Flange    Engine mounting flange  13mm
451     Flange    Engine mounting flange  13mm
457     Flange    Engine mounting flange  13mm
683     Flange    Engine mounting flange  13mm

That particular table needs an additional unique constraint on either {ItemType, ItemDesc} or on {ItemType, ItemDesc, Size}.

Reaching 3NF for every table doesn't necessarily mean you have a good design. You might well have missed critical requirements. If you missed a critical requirement, you're not likely to discover it by normalizing to 3NF or 5NF.

Whoever taught you to name all tables "Tbl"-something or "Lk"-something or "Xref"-something did you no favors. It's likely that person didn't understand logical data independence, and it's likely you don't understand it either. That's a big deal, because it's one of the main features of the relational model, and SQL supports it fairly well. Name tables for what they are, not for how you intend to use them today.

share|improve this answer

What's the relationship between items and projects?

Shouldn't you break off ContactNm and ContactPhone into a separate table and relate these to Client so they can be re-used on subsequent projects but you can still have new info on each project?

share|improve this answer

What is the relationship between Client and Project? A client can have many projects? but does that mean that the contact information for the project is part of the address information of the client or is the project contact information something completely separate?

share|improve this answer
Unless you have an answer to the question, and not just clarifying questions it's probably best to just leave comments on the question itself. –  Trygve Laugstøl Dec 30 '12 at 23:28

Your Answer

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.


text:
Take the 2-minute tour ×
Database Administrators Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for database professionals who wish to improve their database skills and learn from others in the community. It's 100% free, no registration required.

As most of you have noticed all StackExchange sites have been under maintenance/recovery a few days ago so they switched on READ-only mode. From their blog I know they used to use MS SQL Server 2008, and recently have moved on to SQL 2012.

The question is how do you switch READ-only mode in a specific RDBMS, thus keep the service up during maintenance?

Since I use CUBRID RDBMS most of the time, I know they provide an ACCESS_MODE switch in CUBRID Broker middleware (cubrid_broker.conf) which allows DBAs to dynamically turn a READ/WRITE-enabled service to READ-only (+ ...) and vice versa. This is especially useful in an HA environment.

In MySQL as I know, even if you turn read_only=1 in my.cnf/my.ini, users with SUPER and replication privileges still can write to a read only server.

I wonder how this is done in other relational databases. How does SO do this?

share|improve this question
This is very DBMS specific! I hope people will make one answer for each DBMS. –  Colin 't Hart Nov 1 '12 at 8:29
I wouldn't mind if this question and its answers become of "community wiki" type. I'm doing research on this topic so I would appreciate very much answers specific for each database as detailed as possible. –  Eye Nov 1 '12 at 9:15
I think this is not a good question because will be several correct answers to this questions (at least one for each DBMS) the question for which DBMS will you accept as the right one? I think the question should be posed for each databases you are interested in. –  miracle173 Nov 2 '12 at 1:16
Thank you for your feedback. I've seen great questions with answers which include all databases in one which are accepted and preferred then those which provide only one answer. In any case I will vote up all valid answers and accept the one I think provides more complete answer even if it's related to only a single database. –  Eye Nov 2 '12 at 1:42

3 Answers 3

I'm going to attempt to answer this question for Oracle.

Historically Oracle has never supported read-only databases.

It's possible to make a tablespace read-only: http://docs.oracle.com/cd/B28359_01/server.111/b28310/tspaces006.htm

Individual tables can be made read-only: http://www.oracle-base.com/articles/11g/read-only-tables-11gr1.php

Or it's possible to make a select-only role and assign that to the user who logs in rather than the normal readwrite-role.

share|improve this answer
There's a "funny" quirk to read-only tablespaces though: "You can drop items, such as tables or indexes, from a read-only tablespace". i.e. you can do DDL on read-only tablespaces, with strange semantics. –  Mat Nov 1 '12 at 8:58
Oh, I didn't know about this fact in Oracle. Thank you for your answer! –  Eye Nov 1 '12 at 9:11
You a wrong. A database can be set in read only mode. Specify OPEN READ ONLY to restrict users to read-only transactions, preventing them from generating redo logs –  miracle173 Nov 2 '12 at 1:09
@Mat: The semantic is not strange if you are aware of the diffenece between data and metadata. The important reason for allowing read only tablespaces is to handle special situation like data on read only media , tablespace export or special database upgrade procedures. In this situtations that "funny quirk" "with strange semantics" is a very useful or even necessary feature. –  miracle173 Nov 2 '12 at 1:43
In Oracle you can also switch your current session to "READ ONLY" if you want to prevent accidental updates –  a_horse_with_no_name Nov 2 '12 at 8:40

In SQL Server it's:

But a full solution is going to rely on the application as well if you want it to be unobtrusive to the user. Most applications will be logging data all the time, even if the user isn't explicitly 'writing' to the db (The 'Viewed' stat on SE pages being an obvious example) So just setting the database to read only will probably end up with lots of errors being thrown back to the user, unless the app has been written to cope with this.

share|improve this answer
Thank you for the answer! And yes, I assume the fact that the Web app has to be designed to handle Read-only mode. In SE this time, for instance, most "writable actions" have been automatically disabled which is smart! –  Eye Nov 1 '12 at 9:10

Some PostgreSQL solutions:

  1. Create ReadOnly user and connect to database using it.

    CREATE OR REPLACE FUNCTION create_ro_user( in_username TEXT, in_password TEXT ) RETURNS VOID AS $BODY$
        IF EXISTS ( SELECT 7 FROM pg_user WHERE usename = in_username ) THEN
          RAISE NOTICE 'user [%] already exists', in_username;
          EXECUTE 'CREATE USER ' || quote_ident(in_username) || ' WITH PASSWORD ' || quote_literal(in_password);
        END IF;
    /* schemas */
        PERFORM execute( 'GRANT USAGE ON SCHEMA ' || nspname || ' TO ' || in_username )
        FROM pg_namespace
        WHERE nspname !~ '^_'
          AND nspname !~ '^pg_'
          AND nspname != 'information_schema';
    /* tables and views */
        PERFORM execute( 'GRANT SELECT ON TABLE ' || table_schema || '."' || table_name || '" TO ' || in_username )
        FROM information_schema.tables
        WHERE table_schema !~ '^_'
          AND table_schema !~ '^pg_'
          AND table_schema != 'information_schema';
    $BODY$ LANGUAGE 'plpgsql' STRICT;

  2. REVOKE privileges from current application user:

    GRANT USAGE ON SCHEMA public TO app_user;
    GRANT SELECT ON ALL TABLES IN SCHEMA public to app_user;

    note: I didn't test it so please correct this if there should be done something more or something else. You have to check if it will work when user have active connection to db already.

  3. You can also set default_transaction_read_only=on on connection by default, but it can by switched to off in session. More here: postgresql 9.1 doc and here: postgresql 9.1 doc

share|improve this answer
Thank you for your answer. One problem with this solution is that you have to change your application code to reflect this new read-only user. Is there a way to do this on DB side only? –  Eye Nov 2 '12 at 1:32
@Eye I have extended my answer wiht point 2. –  sufleR Nov 2 '12 at 8:22

Your Answer

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.


text:
This is the support page for Entrance IDE and Entrance Community.  You have several support options.
There is a Google Group for Entrance:
There is a FAQ:
You can email questions to using this email address:
support (at) dbentrance.com
We have an informal IRC channel:  #entrance on irc.freenode.net
(Arranging to meet on the IRC channel is a good way to work out problems)
To praise or condemn Entrance publicly, there is always twitter.  We follow #entrance.
If you purchased Entrance, please check the email you received with your serial number for other support options.
Where are the Docs?
For now, the Entrance Blog, which can be searched,  serves as de facto documentation:  http://dbentrance.com/blog/
The Help menu is also set up to open these online documentation pages:


text:
Saturday, December 1, 2007

World AIDS Day 2007

Today is World AIDS Day.

Take a moment to think about all of the people who are battling HIV/AIDS. Take a moment to think about all the people who lost the battle. (Click here and/or here for pictures of the AIDS Quilt.)

What are you doing for the cause? Don't you want to help in the battle? Find a way to be assistance in your community.

Prove to yourself that you love yourself by using protection. Respect your sexual partner: use protection. Growing up I remember hearing the slogan "Friends don't let friends drink and drive" over and over. Yes, it is a true statement and so is friends don't let friends unprotected sex. When I was in high school there were a few times when I gave out condoms to friends who were sexually active, and I sold condoms for a quarter each to the people I didn't like.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing this to people's attention, Dustin. My very best friend and one of the greatest people I know in the world has AIDS. He handles it very well but the rough days are R-O-U-G-H. Its heart-breaking to see when anyone so valuable to this world must suffer.

Hugs to you, good man!

Richard M

dfadf said...

Microsoft Office
Office 2010
Microsoft Office 2010
Office 2010 key
Office 2010 download
Office 2010 Professional
Microsoft outlook
Outlook 2010
Windows 7
Microsoft outlook 2010


text:
Text Resize

-A +A
Bookmark and Share

Current Calls for Artists

This section is updated with artist calls from the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities (DCCAH) as well as additional listings from agencies and organizations around the world. Check this section of the site often—calls are updated as they are released. For questions about calls from the DCCAH, call (202) 724-5613. For other calls, please contact the hosting agency.

Visit the Resources for Artists page for a listing of agencies that support DC artists and arts organizations.

DCCAH/DC GOV Call(s) for Artists:

Non-DCCAH Calls for Artists:


text:
Welcome to the Pride Center!

The Pride Center (PC) is a safe space for all members of our community to explore aspects of sexual orientation and gender identity in an open and non-judgmental atmosphere.

OSU itself was named one of the top LGBT campuses in the United States by "The Advocate College Guide for LGBT Students" in 2006. Additionally, OSU continues to have a five star rating and is ranked in the top 20 LGBT-friendly campuses from Campus Pride's LGBT Friendly Campus Climate Index.


text:
SDFL Historical Notable Cases

Candance Rough Surface, 18, of Kenel disappeared Aug 2, 1980.  A Rancher found her bullet-ridden body nine months later in a shallow grave on Lake Oahe, near Mobridge, SD.  The case was solved in 1995 when James Stroh II of Eagle River, Wis, told how he and his cousin, Nicholas Scherr of Mobridge raped and killed Rough Surface.  Firearm evidence from the scene was forensically linked to the recovered suspect weapon from Scherr.  Stroh pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 15 years.  Scherr also pleaded guilty and is serving a 100 year prison term.

David Rose, 25, of Sturgis was found dead at a picnic area north of Deadwood August 2, 1982, from blows to the head with a rock.  Investigators lifted a fingerprint from his car door but it turned up nothing until 2003 when an AFIS check of the print tied it to Fred Bates of Quincy, IL. In addition, Forensic DNA testing provided a match between Bates and a cigarette butt found at the murder scene.  Bates pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 60 years in prison, with 25 years suspended.

Huron native Heath Wyane Styer, missing 13 years, was found using state of the art sonar equipment. Styer, 25, disappeared from Huron, South Dakota on June 26, 1995. Searches in Ravine Lake were unsuccessful due to the murky waters.  In July 2008, the DCI Cold Case Unit, Huron PD and Beadle Co SO conducted another search of Ravine Lake with new state of the art Side Scan Sonar equipment provided by SD Game, Fish and Parks. Styer’s car was found in Ravine Lake with a body inside. Through DNA testing the body was later identified as Heath Wayne Styer. There was no indication of foul play. Authorities believe Styer accidentally drove into the lake on the night of his disappearance.

Sexual Sadist Robert LeRoy Anderson was convicted in May of 1997 of kidnapping Piper Streyle from her home in the presence of her two small children in July of 1996. Streyle’s husband recalled a balding man in his twenties visiting their home days before the kidnapping; this man was later identified as Robert Anderson. Witnesses reporting seeing a black truck in the vicinity of the Streyle home on the day the woman went missing. It was later determined that Anderson had used black Temper paint to attempt to disguise his blue Ford Bronco during the kidnapping. Later, Ballistics, DNA, Physical Match, Protective Coating and Fiber and Hair examinations conducted by the SD Forensic Laboratory assisted in the investigation of this missing person’s case, including analysis of blood found on the suspect’s pants determined to be the victim Streyle. Her remains and a child’s tent missing from her residence have never been located.
Investigation in the Streyle case led authorities to the missing person cold case of Larisa Dumansky, who in 1991 had moved from the Ukraine to South Dakota with her family. She was reported missing in 1994. Informants and new investigation eventually led to a shallow unmarked grave which Anderson alleged he had removed Dumansky’s body to another site. Excavation found 57 items related to Larisa which included a tooth, a rib, the bones from the left and right wrist, several fingers, etc. Near the grave a pair of work gloves, shell casings and bullets were also located. Information provided by Anderson to an informant, while incarcerated, provided the location of the trophies he had collected from both women – Stryle’s wedding ring and Dumansky’s necklace – as well as the weapon used by Anderson. This weapon matched the bullets/casings found at the site of Dumansky’s first grave, and bullet removed from the floor of Streyle’s home.
In September of 1997, Anderson was charged with murdering Larisa Dumansky and with the rape and murder of Piper Streyle. He was ultimately convicted of all charges and sentenced to death by lethal injection.   Anderson committed suicide in 2003 at the SD State Penitentiary while awaiting the outcome of his appeal.
Anderson’s friend, Glen Walker, was charged for his crimes in March 2000. He pled guilty to the attempted kidnapping of Amy Anderson, accessory to kidnapping and first-degree murder and conspiracy to kidnap Larisa Dumansky. He received a total of 30 consecutive years behind bars at the South Dakota State Penitentiary.

On April 20, 2011, Mitchell Police reported a man who pleaded guilty in what authorities labeled a "crime spree" in the Mitchell area is heading to prison.

Randy Wolford was sentenced to serve 20 years in prison on five business burglary charges in Davison County and one charge in Aurora County. He also was ordered to pay about $80,000 in restitution.  DNA analysis of evidence collected at various crime scenes identified Wolford as a suspect in these crimes.

Wolford said in court that gambling, alcohol and drug problems led him to commit the crimes.

May, 2011: A second jury has convicted former Highmore Police Chief Ken Huber of murder in the death of his wife, Pamela.  He was convicted of murder by a jury in 2008, but that verdict was overturned by the state Supreme Court, saying the former Highmore police chief had not been allowed to fully argue his case that the shooting was accidental. Therefore,  he was granted a new trial.  However, a jury in Huron returned the guilty verdict Tuesday after less than four hours.
Huber, a law enforcement officer with specialized military and law enforcement weapons instructional training, had argued that his .40 cal Glock pistol accidentally fired and struck Pam Huber while he was moving it from a bedroom dresser to a gun safe. The victim was stuck in the forehead as she lay on the bed with her daughter watching television. SDFL Firearms Criminalist testified on a variety of firearms examination results, to include Functionality, Trigger Pull, Point of Aim and Crime Scene Reconstruction. Digital Evidence Analysts examined several computers used by the suspect and victim in this case, and prosecutors reviewed hundreds of emails written between the victim, suspect, and other women in Ken Huber’s life leading to a turmoiled marriage.


text:
Mission: Preservation

Cleveland Park Library

Mission: Preservation

Cover of Ruth and the Green BookOn Wednesday, June 20 at 3 p.m., children ages 8-11 are invited to participate in an entertaining and educational program to strengthen their historical thinking skills.  Smithsonian Institution staff will guide them as they explore original historical artifacts and other records of the past, helping the children understand the historical importance of material culture while giving participants the tools they need to preserve their own history.

At the start of the program, participants will watch a five-minute video and then read Ruth and the Green Book by Calvin Ramsey. The story is about a young African-American girl and the racial discrimination that she and her family experienced during their road trip from Chicago to rural Alabama. Through this age-appropriate story, students will be introduced to segregation in the 1950s.

Next, the children will be encourgaged to investigate and become conservators! The museum teacher will guide the participants through an activity where they determine the damage inflicted upon historical artifacts.  The children will don white cotton gloves as they analyze artifacts, record observations and determine a preservation plan for each object. All our artifacts are authentic antique objects and photographs.

After completing the program, students will keep their gloves and be inspired to go home to preserve their own family history.


text:
What's Happening

Subscribe to our RSS News Feed

Nominate a Fellow Alumnus for the Honor of Excellence

Monday, January 11, 2010

Recognizing outstanding alumni is one way the Alumni Association shows its commitment to making Point Park University stronger.  These honorees represent just a few of the thousands of alumni who contribute in countless ways to their fellow alumni, to the University, to their communities, and to their professions.

GOLD Award (Graduate of the Last Decade)
Charles Quillin Award (Friend of Point Park)
Distinguished Alumni Professional Achievement Award Distinguished Alumni Service Award

To nominate someone, or for information about the nomination process and awards, visit www.pointpark.edu/Alumni.  Awardees will be celebrated at the Point Park University Alumni Awards on March 27, 2010. Deadline for nominations is January 29, 2010.

Subscribe to our RSS News Feed

Faculty & Staff | Current Students

News | Calendar | Directory | Library | Give


text:
Text Resize

-A +A
Bookmark and Share

Performance-based Parking Pilots

Performance-based Parking Pilots - cars parked at curb during peak hourly rates

The District Department of Transportation (DDOT) began implementation of the Performance-based Parking Pilot Zone Act of 2008 in three District neighborhoods:

  1. Columbia Heights (Ward 1)
  2. Capitol Hill/ Ballpark District (Ward 6)
  3. H Street, NE corridor from 3rd Street, NE to 15th Street, NE/Benning Road, NE

Performance based parking manages the demand for parking to:

  • Protect resident parking - Higher curbside parking meter rates combined with more stringent parking restrictions in residential neighborhoods in the pilot areas help preserve curbside parking for residents in areas where business or entertainment uses draw lots of visitors.
  • Protect businesses - Performance based meter rates and time limits are designed to encourage brief curbside parking with high turnover while discouraging long-term parking that would deprive businesses of customers. Visitors with long-term parking requirements are encouraged by the higher meter rates to utilize off-street parking facilities.
  • Promote non-automotive transportation and reduce congestion - Higher curbside meter rates encourage walking, biking and transit use in lieu of auto travel in congested places.

DDOT can use a variety of tools to manage the on-street parking resources in the designated pilot zones:

  • Escalating or variable pricing parking meter rates
  • Adjusted days and hours of operation for curbside space management
  • Adjustable parking fines
  • Expanded Residential Permit Parking plans

If you have any further comments or questions, please email our Parking Team.

To effectively manage the parking resources in designated pilot zones.

Program at a Glance

Program Title: Performance Based Parking Pilots
Agency: District Department of Transportation
Office: Policy, Planning and Sustainability Administration (PPSA)
Type: Planning and Strategy

Related Documents

Performance-based Parking Pilot Zone Act of 2008

H Street, NE (Ward 6)

Capitol Hill/Ballpark District (Ward 6)

Columbia Heights (Ward 1)

Map for Parking Zones

Map for Normal, Premium and Performance-based Parking Meter Zones 2011

Contact TTY:


text:
Top Definition
tongue in cheek
von Monk Mojo 7. August 2003
v. to postpone payment of drugs until a suitable date
I arranged to meet Ronnie to buy some weed, but I didn't have any money, so he let me tic for it...
von McKenzie 28. Februar 2005
A tally system desgined to measure last minute flaking on extra marital affair planning
Well thats another tic for Tom. He is flaking on me to have dinner with his wife!
von Shan'zers 11. Mai 2011
Trafficking In a Controlled Substance
"He was convicted on a TICS violation."
von Cockgrinch 26. März 2012
Tic is a word for involuntary actions. Most people who have tourettes have tics but it isn't unheard of for people without tourettes to have tics.
Shaun was walking down the streeet and twitched his head as he mumbled some inaudible word.
von Trevin 1. November 2004
Marine Corps radio chatter for 'troops in contact"! In sight of or in a firefight with the enemy.
"We have a possible "TIC" 10 clicks out!
von romdo308 4. Oktober 2013
The drug phencycledine, more commonly known as PCP or angel dust, in a powder form. Tic is either snorted, or sprinkled on a marijuana or tobacco cigarette, and smoked. This form of PCP was very common in the 1970s and 1980s, where as, in recent years, it has been replaced by a liquid form of the drug known as "wet" (e.g. "Dippers," "sherm sticks")
Back in the 80s we used to snort that tic, now all I can find is "wet".
von Cowboy Stanley 21. Oktober 2012

Täglicher Gratisnewsletter

Gib unten deine Mailadresse ein um jeden Morgen gratis dein "Urban Wort des Tages" zu bekommen!

Die Mails werden von versendet. Wir versenden keine Spammails.


text:
From the Japanese Sandal...
A thong in Australia
A flipflop in US

Made of rubber.
Dont wear socks with jandles!

"Hi, where did you get those jandles?"

The sand was too hot so she put on her jandles
von Layla..... 9. Juli 2005
Top Definition
New Zealand for cheap rubber footwear. See thong word.
Put you jandles on. We're going into town.
von Squidling 15. Juli 2003
An alternate word for a handle of alcohol; only used when describing the handles used in "edward jandle-hands" (a rare alternative to edward 40-hands)
I bet you cant finish your jandles in a game of edward jandle hands!
von mike667 14. November 2011

An object that could act as a handle;
an object which could also be used to jab or poke something.

A Phallus is an example of a jandle.

"You can't handle ma jandle bitch."

"I stabbed my pick into the rockface to make a handy jandle."
von tyhm 24. April 2009
the combination of thongs or flip flops worn in conjunction with socks. This look is found commonly in new zealand alongside sheep. to obtain this terrible look, the potential wearer must first; put on a pair of long socks, then two; slip on their thons or flip flops.
greg- " quick bruu lets rep the jandles?"
von tomosapien 25. Juni 2010
A group of hot chicks.
Whoh, check it out ... jandles!
von Aaron 18. Februar 2004
A Japanese Sandle or "Thong" in some messed up countries (like Australia)
"Hey man, what do those weird ass Australians mean when they say thongs?"
"They mean Jandle brah"
von DjGaza 23. Februar 2015

Täglicher Gratisnewsletter

Gib unten deine Mailadresse ein um jeden Morgen gratis dein "Urban Wort des Tages" zu bekommen!

Die Mails werden von daily@urbandictionary.com versendet. Wir versenden keine Spammails.


text:
Blackburn & Snow Discography

Singer songwriter Jeff Blackburn and folk singer Sherry Snow joined forces as a folk rock duo in 1965. They recorded a single, Stranger In A Strange Land, in early 1966 but it was not released until the following year. They performed locally and continued to record intermittently through 1966. Their debut single was finally released in early 1967, followed by a second single a few months later. An album that was due for release in 1967 never appeared. Tracks intended for the album and other recordings were eventually released on a Blackburn & Snow collection in 1999. Blackburn & Snow split up at the end of 1967. Jeff Blackburn was subsequently in a later line-up of Moby Grape. Sherry Snow sang with Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks.

Additions, corrections and comments are welcome

Blackburn & Snow collections

info Something Good For Your Head, Blackburn & Snow, 1999

Blackburn & Snow singles

no info Stranger In A Strange Land / Uptown Downtown, Blackburn & Snow, 1967, Verve
no info Time / Postwar Baby, Blackburn & Snow, 1967, Verve

Blackburn & Snow tracks on various artist compilations

info Country & West Coast: The Birth Of Country Rock, Various Artists, 2006
info Love Is The Song We Sing: San Francisco Nuggets 1965-1970, Various Artists, 2007
info Sing Me A Rainbow: A Trident Anthology 1965-1967, Various Artists, 2008

Last updated February 2009


text:
Dead Fred Genealogy Photo Archive Thousands of Genealogy Photos
Search. Preserve. Record. Remember.

18809 Surnames | 117892 Records | 2537 Reunions

Buy at FredMart to Help Support DeadFred

Dead Fred's Genealogy Photo Archive, a free, fun photo genealogy research web site devoted to helping you visualize your heritage!

Five $ For $ Fred -->

Love keeping Fred alive? Give him five! =-)

Detailed Results

Photo Thumbnail
Click image for
larger view.

Post a Sticky Note
29 photos in database by this submitter.

Need help with your research?

Order The Desperate Genealogist's Idea Book: Creative Ways to Outsmart Your Elusive Ancestors (eBook).

You can also order The Desperate Genealogist's Idea Book in hardcopy format by clicking here.

Photo #17726

Last Name: McQuoid

First Name : Thomas

Middle Name:

Subject's City: Maryport

Subject's State:

Subject's County:

Subject's Country: England

Date: 1851-1900

Photographer: Sherwood

Photographer's City: Mayport

Photographer's State:

Type** : CDV

Comments: Thomas McQuoid (Nee: ) | Maryport England | 1851-1900 | Comments: Believe this is Thomas McQuoid ....These photos are from a photo album that belonged to my Great Grandmother Jane Carswell McQuoid . Most are unidentified .I have researched the Boulder CO and the Providence RI Information. There are many photos from England and one of a boy from Pittsburg Pa that did not fit with the others. Please contact with any information ... NOTE: To see all the photos from this album click on the link at the bottom of the page Contact : if you have a problem w/submitters email

Digital Image Only? NO

Everyone Listed In This Photo:

Thomas McQuoid
Thomas McQuoid Photo Album Birkett McQuoid Carswell

To view all records posted by this submitter, click here:

Search again?

The Desperate Genealogist's Idea Book to benefit

Free genealogy searches for those looking into their family history.

© 2001-2015 Genealogy Photo Archive
P.O. Box 6937 | Springdale, AR | 72766-6937 | (479) 750-0082

LOGIN Why Login?

Page Bottom. Theres nothing below here.


text:
Fox has handed a series commitment to the Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci-produced adaptation of the graphic novel Locke & Key, which is eyed for a potential summer run. The project, which will be written and run by Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles creator Josh Friedman, hails from 20th Century Fox TV, Kurtzman and Orci’s 20th TV-based K.O. Paper Products and DreamWorks TV where the project originated on the feature side.

Based on Joe Hill’s comic published by IDW Publishing, Locke & Key tells the story of Nina Locke and her three children, Tyler, Kinsey, and Bode, who survive an unspeakable horror and attempt to rebuild their lives at Keyhouse, their family home in Lovecraft, Massachusetts. It is a mysterious New England mansion, with fantastic and transformative keys hidden inside its walls that are also being sought by a hate-filled and relentless creature with ties to the Locke family’s past who will stop at nothing to accomplish his sinister goals. Friedman, Kurtzman, Orci, K.O’s Heather Kadin, DreamWorks TV’s Justin Falvey and Darryl Frank as well as IDW CEO Ted Adams are executive producing.

PREVIOUS: Fox Nears Deal For TV Adaptation Of Comic ‘Locke & Key’


text:
David O. RussellDanny StrongEXCLUSIVE: Game Change writer Danny Strong, The Fighter director David O. Russell and Oscar winner Robert De Niro have teamed for a legal drama series inspired by a famous New York father/daughter lawyer duo, which has sold to CBS. The project hails from De Niro and Jane Rosenthal’s Tribeca Prods. and CBS TV Studios.Robert De Niro Strong is writing, Russell is set to direct, with the two executive producing alongside De Niro, Rosenthal and Diane Nabatoff. The drama is inspired by the father-and-daughter defense attorneys Murray and Stacey Richman. It will center on a fictionalized version of the Richmans’ Bronx firm, where clients as notorious on the street as they are on Page Six.

In the almost 50 years of practicing law, Murray Richman, nickname “Don’t Worry Murray,” has worked for clients ranging from hip-hop stars like Jay-Z to the upper echelon of the Genovese and Lucchese crime families to former NY Governor Eliott Spitzer’s escort procurer. In addition to his cases, Murray is famous for his courtroom quips, like “I love a murder trial — one less witness to worry about” and “I’ll be brief… I’m already short.” (He is 5’6″). Below is documentarymaker Errol Morris’ video interview/portrait of Murray that provides a glimpse into his background, philosophy, personality as well as some of his cases. In it, Murray boasts about winning an acquittal for a client who had stabbed a guy to death seven times by convincing the jury that the victim kept “backing into the knife.” Stacey Richman, a star attorney of her own, has a clientele that includes Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Ja Rule, Scout Willis, Kid Cudi and Freekey Zekey.

This marks the pilot writing debut for actor-turned-writer Strong who switched to writing with the HBO movie Recount. It was followed by HBO’s Game Change, both earning him Emmy writing nominations. Strong made his feature writing debut with Lee Daniels’ upcoming The Butler. The CBS drama would make the TV directing debut for O’Russell, an Oscar nominee for The Fighter. The project stems from Tribeca’s overall deal at CBS TV Studios, which already has yielded a series on CBS, last season’s NYC 22. The company’s Berry Welsh will serve as a producer on the new project. Strong, O’Russell and Tribeca are with CAA.

3 years
You obviously aren't in the business and know nothing about it. So this particular show happened to...
Renee Hill Bennett
3 years
Good Luck Murray! This has been a long time in the making and no one deserves this...
3 years
Reading thus far, it seems nobody posting in this forum has had the actual experience of being...


text: In his first major acting gig and in a synergistic move, Dancing With The Stars pro Derek Hough has joined the upcoming third season of ABC’s country music drama Nashville for a multi-episode arc. He will play Noah West, a beguiling and disarming movie star who will cross paths with the players of Nashville’s music realm for the first time when he’s tapped for a leading role in the biopic of a famous country singer. Hough, who also has training and experience as a singer, is set to return for Season 19 of ABC’s flagship reality series Dancing With The Stars. He won an Emmy for his choreography work on the long-running program.  Hough, repped by UTA and Silver Lining Entertainment, previously appeared on the ABC comedy Better With You and toplined the dance feature Make Your Move.


text:
We Welcome Our New Michael Phelps OverlordThe goggles, they do nothing! Despite leaky specs in the first race of the morning — the 200 meter butterfly — Michael Phelps claimed his fourth gold medal of the Beijing Games. He then went on to capture No. 5 as the U.S. became the first team to crack the 7-minute barrier in the 800 freestyle relay. That's 11 golds overall in two Olympics for Mr. Phelps, breaking the record of nine held by four others, among them Mark Spitz and Carl Lewis, and, I believe, Aquaman. Note to Chinese: Phelps' wins were not digitally enhanced, nor was lip-syncing employed in any way. And now that he's the most decorated swim veteran in world history, let's take a closer look at our watery hero. Some fun facts from the Michael Phelps file: • He's a Michigan Wolverine. Suck it, OSU. • Baltimore native, grew up in the Rodgers Forge neighborhood and graduated from Towson High School. Other notable Towson High alumn ... Divine! • Has (or at least had) Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and became a swimmer to create an outlet for his energy. Was arrested for DUI at age 19 in Maryland. • Among those at poolside as Phelps won his 10th and 11th golds ... Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony. James posed for pictures with Phelps' mom. • From Phelps' profile on the NBCSports.com Olympics profile page: Phelps appeared at the 1996 Olympic Trials as a 10-year-old, not to swim but to support his sister, Whitney. When she finished sixth in the 200m butterfly final and missed making the team, the family cried in the stands. "It left a scar on our family," Michael says. Whitney's career was cut short by four herniated discs, but Michael says he lives by her example. From the time he was little, he remembers how he would hear her door shut and the car start before dawn as she made her way to practice. Phelps' goggles malfunctioned during the 200, and he had to squint through water-filled lenses on the way to a world record, which he captured by six-hundredths of a second. The 800 free relay team broke the world mark with a time of 6:58.56, with Phelps swimming 1:43.31 in the first leg. Ryan Lochte, Ricky Berens and Peter Vanderkaay followed. The previous record of 7:03.24 was set by the Americans at last year's world championships. Russia took the silver, more than five seconds behind the Americans, and Australia won the bronze.

"I'm almost at a loss for words," Phelps said. "Growing up I always wanted to be an Olympian. Now to be the most decorated Olympian of all time, it just sounds weird saying. It started setting in a little bit after the butterfly. I was just trying to focus on my next race, but I just kept thinking, `Wow, greatest Olympian of all time.' It's a pretty cool title. I'm definitely honored."
Next up: The 200 individual medley, 100 fly and 400 medley relay. Phelps Flies To Olympic Gold Medal Mark [NBCSports.com]


text:
Metta World Peace Doesn't Mind When Kobe Calls Him "Ron"

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: how the Lakers communicate on the court.

Kobe Bryant joined Fox Sports Radio with Andy Roddick and Bobby Bones to talk about how tough it is to adjust to a new coaching staff, how weird it is to not have Phil Jackson on the sidelines, what he calls Metta World Peace, how tough it has been this offseason with the Chris Paul trade that was vetoed, and how his wrist feels.

How tough it has been to get adjusted to a new coaching staff:
"It is because you have to learn new habits. Then you get to a point where you learn new habits but then when you're playing you're still thinking about those habits and thinking about those adjustments and corrections. It just takes a lot of repetition. We've been having long practices and long film sessions to try to ingrain that in there so it just becomes habit."

Whether or not it's weird to not have Phil Jackson on the sidelines:
"It's weird because Phil is not there and our entire coaching staff is not there. Then there are a lot of players that aren't there. Not seeing Lamar there and Shannon Brown there and so forth and so on, it's a little different."

What he calls Metta World Peace:
"I call him Ron all the time. I say Ron, Metta, Ron. What the hell do you want me to call you? He goes you know what? Just call me Ron. It's fine. That's a lot easier for me."

How tough things have been with the Chris Paul trade getting vetoed:
"I think it was more of a rollercoaster for him personally, for Chris I mean because one moment you're coming to the Lakers and you're excited and you're ready to go. Then the trade is off and now you're still stuck in New Orleans and nothing is imminent. Then you get the news that you're coming back to LA, but it's to the Clippers. It was more of a rollercoaster ride for him. The thing that impacted us the most was Lamar going to Dallas. That caught everybody by surprise and everybody off guard. Chris Paul situation is something that happens. Just chalk it up to the business. We were all stunned when Lamar went to Dallas."

Whether or not the teams asks for his advice on trades:
"Actually you guys might know more than I do actually."

How his wrist feels:
"It feels messed up. I've got it wrapped up, I've got it in a splint, it's extremely painful but it is what it is."

This post, written by Chris Fedor, appears courtesy of Sports Radio Interviews. For the complete highlights of the interview, as well as audio, click here.

More from Sports Radio Interviews
Drew Brees went out for sushi to celebrate his record.
Scott Brooks says Russell Westbrook gets better every year.
Felix Jones says winning the division at the Meadowlands would be extra sweet.


text:
The Sports Guy Before ESPN: A 2000 Bill Simmons Column Is Unearthed

It's a curious quirk of the internet that almost nothing survives of Bill Simmons's pre-ESPN work. The formative years of one of the country's most successful sports writers are lost forever, all because AOL Digital City preserved nothing. But even then the "Boston Sports Guy" had fans devoted enough to save some material for future generations. At, a message board devoted to all things Simmons, one reader dug up an old 3.5" floppy disk with a column from September of 2000. He posted it, and we're reprinting it here.

What do SG, The Jericho Mile and ESPN's new game show have in common? Read on...

In the penultimate scene of the The Jericho Mile — one of the six or seven greatest sports movies of all-time — convicted murderer Rain Murphy finds out that the Olympic Committee won't allow him to run in the 1980 Olympic Trials. It doesn't matter that Murphy qualified for the Trials with the best one-mile time all year. It doesn't matter that his new coach believes that Murphy is "the greatest natural runner I've ever seen." All that matters is Murphy's record; the Committee doesn't want a convicted murderer potentially representing the United States. That's the bottom line. Just another case of The Man keeping someone down.

So Murphy gets boned over. When they finally hold the Trials without him, he overhears the results on a transistor radio (Frank Davies won the mile) and immediately heads outside to run his own race in the prison yard. And as Murphy sprints in circles, each lap faster than the last, the other inmates catch on and surround the track, cheering him on — inspiring him, imploring him — and Murphy crosses the finish line and glances at his stopwatch, finally lifting his arms up by his sides in Christ-like fashion. One of the other inmates grabs the stopwatch and looks at it — "He beat the time! He beat Davies!" And Murphy grabs the stopwatch back and hurls it over the wall, where it shatters into a million pieces.

F*** The Man. End of movie. Chills galore.

So what does this have to do with me? Well, I'll tell you...

About five weeks ago, I received an e-mail from a reader who was trying out for ESPN's new sports game show, "Two Minute Drill." I didn't think much of it until I received an e-mail from another reader who was trying out. At that point, I knew three things about "Drill":

—1. Inexplicably, unbelievably, there has never been a good sports game show. When you think about it, the ideal TV audience is composed of men between the ages of 18 and 35 — we love buying beer and cars, we're more likely to change our minds about a product than anyone else, we're always willing to make rash, indefensible purchases, and so on — and a strong percentage of that group loves a) sports and b) wasting time. What's a better waste of time than watching a sports game show?

—2. "Drill" was created by the same producers of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." Very promising sign.

—3. Assuming that everyone involved in "Drill" possesses an IQ above the Pedro Guerrero Line, it would have to be better than that "Sports Geniuses" show on Fox, a show SO stupid and SO moronic that Matt Vasgergian's agent should be thrown in prison just for suggesting that gig to him.

(Which reminds me, there's bad, there's reprehensible, and then there's Lisa Guerrero. Somebody needs to set her up on a blind date with OJ. I'm serious.)

Anyway, I was officially intrigued. If some of my readers were trying out for Two Minute Drill," why couldn't I throw my hat in the ring? Hell, I'm the ringleader of SG Nation! Would Tyler Dirden have stood by idly while the rest of the Fight Club appeared on a new fighting game show? Of course not! Throw in the fact that I could win some cash and possibly get some exposure for the BSG website and this was a no-brainer.

I immediately went to work, finding the link on ESPN's web site where you could send in an "application" for the "Drill" (it was buried on the "Contests" section of their web site) and sending them a funny (well, I thought it was funny) e-mail with all my credentials. Astoundingly, the phone rang one hour later. They wanted me to come to New York and take "The Test." It happened that fast.

Before we get to Part Two of this saga, you need to know one thing about me: as far as sports trivia goes, I'm Pedro. It's that simple. I throw in the mid-90's, I have four pitches and I throw all of them for strikes. I was born for this type of game show. It's like that scene in Jaws when Richard Dreyfuss is describing the Great White Shark to the Amity Mayor and says, "This is a killing machine. All this animal does is swim and eat. That's it. It's a miracle of evolution."

Well, that's me. As far as sports trivia goes, I'm a killing machine. Consider the following things:

* Growing up, I was an only child who read copious amounts about sports. I'm not bragging, it's just a fact. When my parents wanted to occupy me for an hour, they tossed me either a sports section, a sports magazine or a sports book. My life revolved around sports as a kid — playing, watching, collecting, reading, everything. Hey, I'm not proud of it. That's just the way it is.

* For whatever reason, my brain possesses the startling capacity to remember dumb, trivial things. And it's not just limited to games/players/events from the sports world, it extends to television and movies as well. I couldn't name six Senators in the United States right now, yet I could tell you who played Arnold's buddy on "Diff'rent Strokes" (Shavar Ross) and what the Celtics' record was at the Garden during the '86 season (47-1; they also won two games in Hartford). I remember everything. I even remember phone numbers — I dial them once and I can remember them for the rest of my life. I'm the King of Knowing Dumb Things.

(I have no idea why, either. As Chris Walken said in the "Trivial Psychic" skit on Saturday Night Live, "I didn't ask for these powers...")

* When you think about it, I'm in my absolute "sports trivia" prime right now. I'm 30 years old. My brain will never function better than it does now. If anything happened from 1975-2000, I undoubtedly remember it, so I hold a distinct advantage over anyone younger than me. Yeah, I have my weak points — college football and golf — but sneaking a basketball question by me is like trying to sneak a fastball by Nomar. Not gonna happen. And yeah, some people might know more in a certain area — with the exception of basketball — but I sincerely doubt that anyone could offer a better overall package. And when you consider the fact that my profession revolves around sports and I spend every morning digesting a countless number of newspapers and magazines online... well, I'm the shark in Jaws. Period.

So it's with that mindset that I traveled to New York at the beginning of last month to qualify for the show. I am Jaws... I am Jaws... I am Jaws...

On August 3rd, I found myself standing in the lobby of some East Side building with about 30 other guys, all of whom looked like either Newman from "Seinfeld," Bababooey from the "Howard Stern Show" or Mickey Morandini (an instant confidence boost - I apparently came from the highest phylum in the lobby). After filling out some paperwork, we were sheperded into another room to sit at a long wooden table, where we filled out an actual 20-question, fill-in-the-blank test about sports. Swear to God. I felt like Shoeless Joe walking onto Ray Kinsella's baseball field for the first time. A test about sports? Is this heaven?

Personal note: I love talking "innate ability" tests. Always have. Back in high school, I was the kid who took the SATs three times even though I didn't have to. I'm weird that way. Sometimes I wish I was an NFL player just so I could break the record for the Wonderlic test. Needless to say, I aced the "Drill" test and nailed 17 of the 20 questions; of the ones I didn't know, one was about the WNBA (I thought about protesting the WNBA's involvement with the test but decided against it), one was about the French Open (how could I mix up Marcelo Rios and Gustavo Kuerten?) and one was "Who was the first player to hit 30 homers for 4 teams?" (I said Reggie; Canseco was the answer). They set the cutoff line at "13-for-20," so everyone in the room who didn't get thirteen correct got the big David Spade "Buh-bye."

(Note to reader: Feel free to remove your seatbelts and walk around the cabin for the next few paragraphs as I describe the game and the rules. I'll tell you when to return. Back to the column...)

The six people who passed (myself included) were herded into another area so they could 1) conduct individual interviews and 2) actually "play" some of the game with each of us. Sitting in the little lobby, I was fifth in line, so I had time to get nervous and make small-talk with a New Yorker sitting next to me who kinda looked like David Berkowitz. When I told him I was from Boston, he said, "I'm a Mets fan... eighty-six, baby!" I countered by asking him if he had ever snorted coke with Gooden, Straw and Hernandez. Advantage, Sports Guy.

By the time they called me in, my competitive juices were flowing and I fought off a sudden, minor attack of nerves — four people staring at me on the other end of that same long, wooden table, flanked by an Orwellian camera recording my every move — and tried to remain jovial and irreverent.

After a five-minute interview, we played a little of the game... but before we get to that, I'll explain how "Drill" works: Even though they book three contestants per show, each person competes alone for two minutes, almost like in "Millionaire." Four celebrity panelists ask questions from their respective specialities — sports movies, Kentucky basketball, the Masters, World Series, etc. — and you answer as many questions as possible in 120 seconds. VERY cool concept. If you get one question wrong, you have to switch panelists. And each panelist can ask a maximum of five questions, so you can't answer more than 20 questions in two minutes.

(In Round One, the two contestants with the two highest scores advance. In Round Two, you get to answer a maximum of 25 questions in two minutes... the person with the highest TOTAL score for the two rounds advances to the Final Round, where they have to answer a difficult question in their "speciality." My specialty was the '86 Celtics, so if I was chosen for the game and won, my final question would have been something about that '86 Celts. Piece of cake.)

Anyway, I immediately targeted the girl with the "BASKETBALL" sign in front of her and buried all five of her questions in about 3.5 seconds. From there I had Uncle Mo on my side (you know, Mo Mentum); I missed one baseball question and passed on a college football question, but I nailed everything else to finish 18-for-20. It was very strange — I constantly felt that I wouldn't know the next question, but then they asked it and I would think to myself, "Hey, I know that one!" That's what it was like for two minutes. Hey, I know that one. Hey, I know THAT one. And yes, the panel seemed pretty impressed, and not just because I did a Clubber Lang impersonation after answering a Rocky III question. They said I would hear from them "in a few weeks."

(Note to readers wandering around the cabin: you can come back now. Please put your seatbelts back on and move your seats to the upright position.)

Leaving the Big Apple, I felt good for three reasons:

1. I only missed five questions all day. By Pedro standards, I probably submitted this pitching line: 9 6 1 1 1 12.

2. The interview went extremely well. It also helped that three of the four interviewers were women — I turned up the charm like Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho." Hey, whatever helps, right?

3. Since they weren't publicizing the tryouts or paying for transportation, at least 90% of the potential contestants in my group were from the tri-state area and 50% of them looked like Giants fans or Mets fans. Just in the name of diversity, I held a distinct advantage hailing from Boston and not from New York, especially because my parents aren't related.

So that was that. I traveled back to Connecticut for the night (the same night of that 19-inning Red Sox game) and didn't utter a peep to anyone except my girlfriend and a few other friends. You never know.

You have to admit, you're getting excited right now, aren't you? The thought of your buddy Sports Guy battling for big bucks on an ESPN Game Show?

Well, on August 22nd, I got The Call.

I made the cut. Hell, of course I made the cut! My show taped on August 31st and would probably air in September. If I beat my two competitors, I won $5,000. If I nailed my "specialty" question about the '86 Celts, that was another $5,000. But the best part is this: they arranged this show almost like the NCAA Tournament. Win one show and advance to the Round Two to tape another show and possibly win more money. Win four shows in all — including the Final Championship show — and you're guaranteed $100,000. Nail your specialty question in the Championship Finals and win another 100 grand.

(I'll add that up for you: $100,000 + $100,000 = $200,000. Boo yeah.)

Of course, there was another subplot to this whole thing: what if I went on this show and lost? How could I face all of you? How could I ever call myself the Sports Guy again? As far as choke jobs go, me blowing the "Two Minute Drill" would be right up there with the '86 Sox and the '99 Blazers, wouldn't it? I decided I wouldn't mention anything on this site about "Drill" until after the taping... and if I happened to lose, I would move to Tuawateneo to work on Andy's boat with Red.

Now I had a big knot in my stomach. And it stayed there for nine days as I kept telling myself, "You're the shark in Jaws... you're the shark in Jaws..." Ultimately I immersed myself in writing my columns and avoided thinking about the show, other than reading Sports Illustrated's "Sports Almanac" for an hour a night in the bathtub, just to bone up on useless facts like "Who was the only safety to win a Super Bowl MVP?" (Jake Scott, if you're scoring at home). In time, I became more excited about the thought of competing than for the potential financial windfall. I couldn't imagine anyone beating me. I really couldn't.

I was Pedro. I was Jaws. I was unstoppable.

But not for long.

So there we were on Thursday, ten of us, sitting in a quarantined room in the Sony Music Soundstage at ten in the morning and getting briefed by the producers of the show. They were filming three shows that day, so they had summoned nine contestants and one alternate. Here's a surprise —- all the contestants were guys! Everyone looked pretty nervous except for one guy who was trying to make friends and saying stuff like, "Hey, we're all in this together." As for me, I tried to remain as intimidating as possible and gave off an "I'm in Allen Iverson's posse and yes, that's a gat" vibe. I wasn't here to make friends, dammit.

A lawyer entered the room and passed around a contract with "clauses" of eligibility for the show. As I glanced at the first page, something jumped out at me: the standard section that said "I swear that I have no family members that work for ABC, ESPN, Disney, etc." Only this section said, "No family members and/or friends or acquaintances."

Uh-oh. As you probably know if you ever read this site, one of my closest friends works as a coordinating producer for ESPN — my buddy Gus — and through him I've met a number of ESPN people, including Rich Eisen, Dan Patrick and even "Two-Minute Drill" host Kenny Mayne. If you want to take things a step further, I have a number of readers who work for ESPN in some capacity as well. If ESPN's the mob, than I'm Frank Sinatra.

Conflict of interest? Yeah, probably. I have to admit, I was hoping it wouldn't come up. I have met Kenny twice, the first time at the shower for Gus' son (I'm the godfather) where Kenny almost floored me by telling me how much he enjoyed my "Grading the Wimbledon Babes" column. So we knew each other in a very casual way. As for Dan and Rich, I know both of them pretty well; they could definitely pick me out of a police lineup, but I wouldn't classify them as "friends" by any stretch. Acquaintances? Maybe.

But Gus? That's different. If knowing someone at ESPN was a conflict of interest, than I definitely had a conflict of interest.

At this point, I had a dilemma: should I even mention anything about this? I read the contract and it was pretty explicit; it even said that they could pursue legal action against anyone who answered the questions on the contract dishonestly. And I started thinking about all the times I mentioned Gus on the site and the Behind the Scenes at ESPN column I did three summers ago — where I spend large chunks of the column talking to Dan and Rich — and it just seemed too improbable that they wouldn't find out if I kept winning. What if a newspaper broke a story like "Game Show Champion once met host!!!"? What if Gus or Kenny somehow got in trouble? What if Dan Patrick stopped thinking I was cool? There just seemed to be too many variables.

So I spoke up. Like a robbery suspect spilling his guts, I told the lawyer, "Yes, I know someone at ESPN. One of my best friends, actually."

As I spoke the words, one of the ladies who served on the Selection Committee did a double-take and her shoulders sagged. Right then, I knew it didn't look good. They told me to write down the history of my connections at ESPN and told me they would discuss it and make a decision.

Here's the worst part: while they were deliberating, they showed us a tape a "mock game" they did last month, with Kenny as host and three actual contestants who hadn't made the cut for the actual show. The other contestants in the Green Room were shouting out answers like no-confidence idiots, but I wasn't saying a word. Two thoughts here:

1. I knew almost every one of answers. No joke. Every nine out of ten, I knew the answer. So for the first time, I was thinking to myself, "If I can somehow get my ass on this show, I'm going to actually win the damned thing."

2. You will LOVE this show. The creators knew what they were doing; over a 30-minute span, they throw out between 100-110 possible questions ... and they're all about sports! And Kenny Mayne and celebrity panelists are involved! How great of an idea is this? If this show doesn't succeed, I will write a 10,000-word WNBA preview next summer while dressed in drag. You have my word.

While I watched this show and silently nailed every question, they abruptly waived me into another room where I was interrogated by the executive producer, a well-dressed British guy named Michael. Instantly I knew this was bad luck — I've always hated British people. I think it stems back to the Tea Party Act. And British Guy voiced his concerns and sugarcoated things as much as he could before giving me the El Shafto — "With all your ESPN connections, I just don't think there's any way I could put you on this show and feel good about it."

Understandable, I guess. If I were him, I wouldn't have allowed me on the show either (nothing gets people riled up like a game show scandal). Now I just wanted to get the hell out of there — I was disappointed and pissed off that nobody had mentioned the "You can't know anybody at ESPN" thing before I hauled my ass all the way to New York and dusted off my "Larry in the '86 Finals" game face. They offered to let me stay to watch the tapings of the other shows, which sounded to me about as fun as watching the taping of a porn movie when you haven't had sex in two years.

Within five minutes, I was standing on the street, my shirt pulled out of my pants, a bag thrown over my shoulder, trying to hail a cab in the Big Apple... looking like a scene from a bad movie.

And so the story ends. "The Two Minute Drill" debuts this Monday on ESPN at 7:00, with new episodes airing every Monday for the next two months. And I'm sure I'll watch every one of them. And when they show the episode with The Alternate who took my place — an African-American guy named Chris — I'm going to tape that particular show and watch it later that night.

Why, you ask?

Well, when Chris finally sits down for his two-minute drill, I'll be shouting out the answers the same way Rain Murphy ran that final Jericho Mile. Murphy had four minutes, I'll have two. Murphy had his fellow inmates standing around the track; I'll have all of you, watching that show, rooting against that Chris guy, knowing I'll do better than him, cheering me on from your sofas to a hollow victory. I'll be Pedro and Jaws rolled into one. I'll have all my pitches working. I'll be a killing machine.

And I will win. I will win. And after I beat everyone's score for that show, I'll remove the tape from my VCR and throw it off my deck in the relative direction of New York.

It's the least I can do, don't you think?

A few notes. 2 Minute Drill was canceled in December of 2001, after airing for 15 months. If a sports game show is can't miss proposition, it hasn't yet been done right. A reader contacted Simmons asking him how he would have done with the questions on the episode he was scheduled to tape. Simmons replied that he would have bombed, with the questions heavy on Olympics and college sports. Simmons's friend "Gus" was Gus Ramsey, who was and is a SportsCenter producer. Lisa Guerrero is currently the chief investigative correspondent for Inside Edition.


text:
Americans' Favorite Soccer Clubs, As Determined By FIFA 12 Plays

ESPN FC had a neat piece this week on the ties between soccer video games and soccer fandom, and the idea that even in the days of satellite television, nothing's done more to grow the sport in the United States than gaming. Here's the money quote, from social scientist Rich Luker:

"For the longest time, I believed video games and fandom of sport were not connected," he said. "But games like FIFA have done more to advance the popularity of soccer than I have seen with any other sport."

There are points that are debatable, and of course the article is fantastic PR for EA Sports—FIFA 13, available now!—but what's really eye-catching is a map put together by EA. Based on the "Support Your Club" feature introduced in last year's edition (details here), they've broken down the most-supported, or at least the most-chosen teams in each state. Men in Blazers offers up a larger version of the map for your analytical pleasure.

What do we see? The most passionately supported MLS teams are representing their home states, with the Timbers, Sounders, RSL, Sporting KC, Crew, and Union all appearing. The Chicago Fire, for some reason, win North Dakota. Isolated pockets of Manchester United. And beyond those? Barcelona, all day every day. Pretty much what you'd expect to see. Thanks, maps!

[ESPN FC, Men in Blazers]


text:
A Treasury Of Children's Insane Christmas Wish Lists

After I posted my kid's goofy Christmas wish list on Wednesday, we asked you readers to send in some of your own. You were not a disappointment to us. One guy's kid sent in the entire contents of the toy section at Target. Another reader's kid had a list that included a diagram (its instructions and purpose were not… » 12/06/13 1:48pm 12/06/13 1:48pm

Calculators, George W. Bush Ties: Why You Shouldn't Leave Your Christmas Wish List In The Office's Shared Folder

Time for another edition of Christmas shaming, in which we examine the wish lists of your friends, loved ones, and co-workers. It's a look into the strange wants and materialistic hearts of those who dwell among us. So keep sending them in. Anonymity guaranteed. » 11/19/12 2:10pm 11/19/12 2:10pm

The Bro-iest Christmas Wish List Ever Written

Color us shocked—we had no idea that grown-ups A) made wish lists and B) spent hours putting them together. But when we posted a 21-year-old woman's incredibly detailed list yesterday, the feedback was equally split between those who thought she was a spoiled adult baby, and those who didn't see what the big deal was. » 11/15/12 3:15pm 11/15/12 3:15pm

21-Year-Old Woman's Endless Christmas Wish List Will Make You Want To Punch Something

We reiterate that this person is not a child. She is 21, legally an adult, presumably with or on the verge of full financial independence. Each year the Massachusetts woman creates a wish list, filled with every conceivable thing she might want, and sends it out to her entire family. » 11/14/12 3:25pm 11/14/12 3:25pm


text:
Fantasy Football Tips for the Extremely Casual Participant

“Fantasy Football” can mean a number of things: A game; a football-related fantasy; your dream football. If this fall it means, for you, “a game,” even though you don’t know too much about football and aren’t sure why you agreed to participate in the fantasy version, I have a few tips.
» 8/21/15 3:25pm 8/21/15 3:25pm

It Should Be A Crime To Hold Your Fantasy Draft This Early

Kelvin Benjamin, the Panthers’ obscenely talented sophomore receiver (and quite possibly the Panthers’ only talented receiver), will miss the entire 2015 season with a torn ACL suffered in a freak, non-contact practice injury. This is bad for Carolina, and bad for Carolina’s fans, but who cares about any of them: this… » 8/20/15 10:25am 8/20/15 10:25am

11 Tips To Intentionally Ruin A Mock Draft

Mock drafts are a charade within a charade. Fantasy football is fake; mock drafts are fake drafts to prepare for the “real” fake draft, for a fake team. The only purpose of mock drafts is to get a general sense where players are going in each round, and that’s only useful for the first five rounds. The whole sham is… » 8/18/15 11:39am 8/18/15 11:39am

How To Run A Fantasy Football League Without Making Everyone Hate You

Because your friends are lazy and untrustworthy, you were somehow the best choice to run this year’s fantasy football league, which means you’ll set up the draft, oversee trades, handle money, and use the internet an hour or two more per week than usual. Congratulations. Now, you just have to tackle this… » 8/17/15 10:22am 8/17/15 10:22am

Tony Romo Calls The NFL Greedy For Shutting Down His Fantasy Convention

A Tony Romo-organized fantasy football convention scheduled for next month in Las Vegas was canceled after the NFL warned participating players that they’d be in violation of league rules. It sounded like a weak explanation at the time, and now Romo says the NFL was just mad it didn’t stand to make any money. » 6/09/15 2:25pm 6/09/15 2:25pm

Report: NFL Called Players' Parents To Stop Fantasy Football Convention

The first-ever National Fantasy Football Convention, scheduled to take place at the Sands Expo and Convention Center in Las Vegas next month, has been canceled and rescheduled for 2016 in Los Angeles. The event was “organized” by Tony Romo, and other current NFL players like Rob Gronkowski, Le’Veon Bell, and DeMarco… » 6/06/15 4:59pm 6/06/15 4:59pm

How To Fix Fantasy Football Scoring With Simple Advanced Stats

With only one touchdown in Week 16, Aaron Rodgers ranked 15th in fantasy points among quarterbacks during fantasy football championship week, likely costing many a Rodgers owner a fantasy title. However, Rodgers' performance was much more valuable on the real football field, where his contributions added an… » 12/30/14 1:03pm 12/30/14 1:03pm

Stevie Johnson Drafted A Really Great Fantasy You Team

When you get down to it, it is kind of strange that we get together and pretend to collect teams of employees, and award them imaginary points for things they do at their jobs, just because they work in football. So 49ers WR Stevie Johnson decided to put together his own "fantasy work team," and I think we're all on… » 9/25/14 9:38am 9/25/14 9:38am


text:
How Rupert Murdoch Could Go To War With ESPN

The blockbuster news that Rupert Murdoch bid $80 billion for Time Warner—and was at least temporarily rebuffed—points to an impending seismic shift in the media landscape. And, as the New York Times points out today, nowhere would that shift be felt more than in the business of televised sports. A Fox takeover of Time… » 7/18/14 10:47am 7/18/14 10:47am


text:
The David Brooks Problem

I started a new job at Deadspin about three weeks ago, and I endured a tough first stretch. That was, in part, because, like anybody starting a new job, I wasn’t sure I could pull it off.

So, especially in the first few days, I had a self-preoccupied question on my mind: How am I doing? There was no noncrazy-making answer to that question. I was always looking for some ultimate validation, which, of course, can never come. But, after a little while, I settled into a routine and my focus shifted from my own performance to the actual subjects I was working on. This shift from performance to subject may not have made my editing any better, but it sure did improve my psychic equilibrium.

That period was a lesson in the perils of self-preoccupation.

I think of this because I read a stupid column David Brooks wrote about Alex Rodriguez’s suspension from baseball through the 2014 season. Judging from the outside, the rest of us are pikers of self-preoccupation next to Brooks. When you read one of his exercises in Lehreresque fabrication or tedious propagandizing for discredited ideas, you see a man who seems to be manufacturing his own persona, disingenuously crafting a series of behaviors designed to look right.

When he writes a column, he doesn’t seem like a man writing a column. He seems like a man giving a performance of writing a column. Even his off-the-page life—buying a $3.95 million house, preposterously teaching a course on humility at Yale, the syllabus for which of course features plenty of his own scribbling—leaves the impression that he is always observing himself, and measuring to see if he lives up to the image of a superstar.

Brooks was a sheltered twit from his earliest years. He attended a fancy day school in New York, a fancy high school in the wealthy Philadelphia suburbs, and the University of Chicago. From there he moved on to comfortable sinecures at propaganda mills like National Review, the Hoover Institution, and the Washington Times. After a stint at the Wall Street Journal, he moved on to the Weekly Standard, where he worked under editor William Kristol, who damaged whatever chances Brooks had of becoming a normal human being.

Kristol turned him into a corporate entity. For example, at the Standard Brooks peddled something called "national greatness conservatism," which amounted to a varietal form of fascism (great monuments at home, air raids abroad). In other words, he attacked his own countrymen in order to squeeze a few dollars out of them. From the beginning, Brooks’s preoccupation was not with the public good, it was with self.

Brooks then began writing ridiculous pop sociology articles for The Atlantic, which further isolated him from the public and fixed him in his self-conscious, prefab self-help formula.

By the time Brooks joined the Times Op-Ed page as their token conservative, he was the marketing facade of Brooks Inc. His first book appeared to have been largely contrived, with nearly any point you cared to fact check easily refuted by publicly available information or basic reporting. Asked about it, he scoffed at a young reporter, and called the idea of giving readers accurate information "just something you'll mature beyond."

Of course, this sort of egomaniacal behavior alienated him from his fellow writers, isolating him in the zone of his own self-concern. He was always one of the most talented propagandists around, able to argue for the murder of foreigners or the enslavement of the working class at home with an air of real thoughtfulness, but never a leader. He developed a reputation for caring more about his own reputation than any particular cause.

Even when he tried to align himself with a given politician, there was little naturalness or spontaneity. Self-preoccupied people hit the right notes, but often so hard that they sound tinny. Self-preoccupation creates an ego that is at once overinflated, insatiable and overly sensitive. Self-preoccupation also seems to make it hard for talented people like Brooks to deal with their own talents.

One of the mysteries around Brooks is why a wealthy propagandist capable of scoring cushy gigs at Duke and Yale would risk his career to apparently just make shit up.

My theory would be that self-preoccupied people have trouble seeing that their natural abilities come from outside themselves and can only be developed when directed toward something else outside themselves. Enclosed in self, they come to believe that their talents come from self, are the self. They have no outside criteria that tells them what their talents are for or when they are sufficient. Locked in a cycle of insecurity and attempted self-validation, their talents are never enough, and they end up devouring what they have been given.

As the Yankees' former manager, Joe Torre, once wrote, the really good hitter has to “concern himself with getting the job done, instead of how it looks. ... There’s a certain free-fall you have to go through when you commit yourself without a guarantee that it’s always gong to be good. ... Allow yourself to be embarrassed. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.”

At every step along the way, Brooks chased self-maximization, which ended up leading to his self-destruction.

The A-Rod Problem [NYT]

Image from Getty


text:
questionswoot da fuq? series one: bathroom mishaps

When you go to wipe and your hand hits the water.

When you wake up at like one in the morning and you gotta go pee pee so you go to the bathroom but you don't turn the light on because you don't want to lose your night vision and so you start to urinate and you keep aiming until you hear the sound of it hitting water.

I was at a girl's house and straight out of Dumb and Dumber, I clog the toilet. Well, no plunger in sight and I see the water rising. I also see that I took a solid dump; one solid, snake-like piece of feces. Within the 5 seconds of dread I experience, which felt like hours, as the water creeps up higher and higher, I take the plunge.

I grab it with my hand, pull it out and the water goes down.

No, that's not the end of the story. It occurs to me as the water is flushing that the length of this movement is what prevents it from flushing, so while my hand is still in the bowl, I bend it and break it off like a french baguette and let the first half go. I then flush the second half.

After pouring bleach on my hand and submerging it in a pot of boiling water, I was able to eat again with that hand after a few days. To this day, I remember this every time I see a baguette. I hope you will too.

I believe I just destroyed this thread with the most disgusting story. Thank you very much.

@curtisuxor: We have a winner. I don't think this will be topped. Take all the upboats. All of them.

(edit: please keep posting though :3)

@poopfeast420: Your name is shockingly apropos for this thread.

Thanks for the love, folks.

One time I had to use the restroom at a gas station, or a barnes and noble... or something I don't remember. I couldn't tell if someone was in the stall, and I didn't wanna knock. I also didn't wanna push my hand against the door, even if I was gentle cause I figured if someone was in there they'd still see my shoes coming up and hear my hand as it lightly pressed against the door as the deadbolt of the lock clinked against the metal of the door. So instead I figured I'd slowly walk by and take a peek through the crack in the door. Big Mistake. The guy was just as paranoid as I was because he was staring out the crack to make sure nobody watched him manufacture his poops. I froze and we made direct eye contact. I didn't know what to do so I kinda just sat there for what must have just been a second but it felt like it was much longer. Eventually I broke eye contact and sheepishly stuttered out a quick "I-I'm s-sorry" as I left.

When I was a teenager, I lived in Italy and had a 2-hour bus trip to get to school then another 2 hours to get home.

Once in a while, someone would tell the bus driver to stop so they could use the bathroom. The rest of us ridiculed that person. Why didn't they use the bathroom before we left, everyone thought. We all laughed and thought they were idiots.

One day, about half way to school, my stomach started that rumbling sound. Uh Oh. Will I be able to make it another hour? Hmm... I'll try. I laid down hoping the pain would go away. It didn't. So it was now my turn to tell the bus driver to stop so I could use the bathroom. I was so embarrassed knowing what everyone was thinking. Yes, I did go before we left but I must have ate something that didn't agree with me. Sorry folks.

The bus pulls over at a gas station and I run in to use the facilities. NO TOILET PAPER. Suppose this is typical of an Italian bathroom in 1978. I had to use newspaper found on the ground.

Once you think of one story, they just start flowing don't they? I once went into a stall where someone had left a snake like @curtisuxor. I tried flushing it and it wouldn't go, but I had already been in the stall long enough that if someone went in after me they'd think I left the danged thing. Fortunately it was one of those industrial-school-toilet setups, so I could just hold the flush until it eventually broke the thing. Never seen a heartier baguette. (What the hell are you people eating?)

@curtisuxor: I salute you. But I won't shake your hand :)

I've got nothing even close to those. Kudos to all of you.

Was this topic inspired by me?!

Carpet in bathrooms. is So. Gross. My new apartment has one carpeted bathroom. The other two are tiled-- one newly so, one originally. The 3rd was gonna be tiled next year.

Well, we clogged the carpeted room's toilet a few weeks in. I found that when it backs up, it filled to the very rim of the toilet and stops. Terrifying, but good to know in case of future issues, I guess. We got that clog out.

Fast forward to yesterday morning. Toilet clogs again. Plunge for ages. The water's gone down enough to try to flush again. It's got a slow drain going. Or so I thought.
It rises, I get a little nervous, and start to plunge again hoping to dislodge. It doesn't stop rising. I panic and forget how to turn off the water and so it keeps rising. The carpet is being soaked by disgusting. I lift the lid and hold up the thing to stop the water, but it's too late. The crap hit the floor.

So I spent yesterday ripping up carpet and cloroxing ALL THE THINGS.

I've told this one in another thread once before, but I think it bears repeating.

My husband peed on our kitten. The cat has this habit of following people into the bathroom, and my husband was in there, doing his thing, when the cat (then a kitten) decided it would be a good idea to vault over the toilet. The stream hit him mid-jump, and he panicked and fell into the toilet bowl. My husband fished him out, tossed him in the bathtub and washed him off. He then brought the kitten downstairs to me, soaking wet and wrapped in a bath towel, and said "Dry him off." I asked what happened, and my husband said "I peed on him."

I spent a good few minutes trying to figure out how the cat got THAT wet from pee, and also being really grossed out.

I was going to add something about either stumbling into the bathroom in the middle of the night and sitting on the child seat, or about bending over to flush and having my cell phone fall out of my shirt pocket into the toilet.

But, seeing the above, I am going to have to go back to college for a truly memorable one.

Dorm restroom, late night. Inebriated students side by side in stalls, urinating. One guy is standing such that his foot protrudes under the wall between the stalls. The other sees this, and thinks "target practice."

The recipient of the wet foot got so perturbed that he decided to crawl under the wall to get at the offending pee-er. I will leave to your imagination exactly what happened when his face appeared under the stall divider...

Note - I was neither of the two people involved in the incident.

Why did I start reading this right before I begin lunch??? I thought it was going to be like bathroom remodeling mishaps and such!
This is craziness -- we have some sick people here! Funny, but sick! Yuck!
It does make for a great story though...

@jezebelseven: It was kind of inspired by you, I thought about the topic a few weeks ago when I stopped at a truck stop there was piss on the seat, the toilet paper was cheap sandpaper one ply and my fingers broke through a triple layer of paper and my hand hit the water all in one sitting.

Your story in deals.woot chat just happened to remind me I wanted to start this thing.

All I can offer is my story. I have been unknown until now.

@jsimsace: every fiber in my being wants me to believe this really is you. Well... It's on the internet so it must be true I guess.

@cowboydann: Something that epic has to be true; it's a national law.


text:
Saturday, 12 November 2011

Past & Present

It's my gorgeous daughter's seventeenth birthday this week and although the thought of her driving is a little nerve-wracking, I'm sure she'll love the freedom of not having to wait for buses or for me to take her where she needs to go. She is funny, a little ditsy (like her mother), and truly fabulous. She is special in her own right, but having suffered three miscarriages after my son was born, I didn't expect to ever have her. Happy Birthday to Sx

The day after S's birthday would have been my paternal grandmother's birthday (she's on the left of the picture). She was born in Meerut in India in 1906. Her father was in the 17th Lancers and after he retired they made their home in Cardiff. He died young in 1922 and my grandmother came to live over here after meeting my grandfather while on holiday. She was very beautiful and on the day she died, my sister-in-law gave birth and my youngest sister celebrated her seventeenth birthday. I was holding a party for my sister at my house too. A day of very mixed emotions.

My maternal grandmother was born in 1915 in Kinsale, Ireland and went to live in London when she married. Thanks to the war and constant moving around, her three daughters were born in different counties. In 1950, my grandmother came to live in Jersey with her second husband and it was here that my uncle was born. My son had a special bond with her as, although she was in her eighties when he was born, she looked after him for me many times while I worked. She died seven years ago on 9th of this month.

One grandmother was evacuated from Jersey (apparently on the last boat) with her two small sons and a nephew. She spent the war years in England, living in various places. The other lived in London and worked in a shop during the day and helped fire-watching on the roof of the shop at night. Both were seperated from their children on occasions, either because they'd been evacuated to the homes of strangers, or because they'd been sent to live with relatives. Both had husbands fighting for their country, one in the navy and one in the army. Both experienced the Blitz.

Both women were incredibly strong, supportive and dignified, but most of all I remember their sense of humour. I still miss them both very much, but have so many happy memories of times spent laughing with them that it never saddens me to think of them. I was so lucky to have had them in my life.

Pat Posner said...

Lovely photo, Debs, and what a great glimpse into your relations' lives.

There really is a story to tell; hope you're thinking of writing it!

Faye said...

How fortunate you are to have had such strong women in your life, Debs. I miss that in my own life except for one aunt who I'm looking forward to seeing next week.

And Happy Birthday to the NEW Driver. A mixed blessing, I'm sure! Stock up on caffeine for those nights when you'll be waiting up! :-)

Chris Stovell said...

What a wonderful post, Debs - thanks for sharing the story of the remarkable women in your life. Happy birthday to your daughter... and good luck with the driving lessons!

Jenny Beattie said...

People's personal histories have become so fascinating to me (is it because I'm getting older?) and it's great to have a picture with it. Thanks for posting.

Dizzy C said...

lovely photo and such a lovely post.

I do love to hear about our social history from people who lived it.
There must be a novel in there, Debs.

My daughter is also 17 and learning to drive. I get nervous when she returns and parks up behind my car!

Debs Carr said...

Pat - thank you. I've written one book incorporating bits of one of my grandmother's life and need to refine it at some point.

Faye - I hope you have a lovely time with your aunt.

I know, I'm a little nervous.

Chris - thanks so much.

Jenny - thanks, I like reading about people's lives too.

Dizzy C - thank you, I'm sure there is.

Poor us, we have a lot of worry ahead of us with our learner drivers. x

B.E. Sanderson said...

Happy Birthday to your Daughter. =o)

Kaye Manro said...

Wow Deb. This is a beautiful post. I dearly love the story and the photo too. I was pulled in to the story of you family quickly.

Happy Birthday to your daughter too!

Great blog post.

D.J. Kirkby said...

Wow, this was such a nice post to read. Thanks for sharing. xo

Debs Carr said...

B.e - thanks very much.

Kaye - thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

Dj - thank you. x

Rosemary Gemmell said...

What a lovely family post, Debs, and I hope your daughter has a great birthday!

Anna Scott Graham said...

Fantastic photo, a lovely post and happy birthday to your girl! They grow so quickly; but one day she'll be bragging on her mum and all the amazing feats of your life... :)))

Flowerpot said...

I think that;s just the right attitude to have in life Debs - well done you!

Lucie said...

Hi Debs,

I was awarded a blog award recently and have been asked to pass onto five other bloggers I enjoy to follow. So I have picked you as one of my favourite. I love to read about your journey. And, of course, there's Grumpy! To accept and read about the award, click here

Oh, and I hope your daughter had a nice birthday.

Talli Roland said...

How fascinating, Debs. I love learning about people's family histories.

Happy birthday to S!

Debs Carr said...

Rosemary, anna, flowerpot, lucie and talli - I've just realized that Blogger ate my replies to you. Sorry about that and thanks for your lovely comments. S had a wonderful birthday. We're still working our way through an enormous chocolate cake! x

Jean Bull said...

Hi Debs,
What an interesting story or series of stories! I wish that my family history was half as exciting! All I can say is that my dad fought in France in 1918, and came back, or I wouldn't be here! He was in the Home Guard in the
Second World War and in a photo, he looks rather like Sergeant Wilson, aptly from Dad's Army!
Best Wishes,

Debs Carr said...

jean - thank you. I've been researching my great-grandfather who fought in WW1, but mainly want to find a picture of him. No luck, unfortunately.

I love the idea that your dad looks Sergeant Wilson.

Liane Spicer said...

Gorgeous photo, Debs. So much history, so many rich memories! Really love this post.

My current WIP is actually inspired by an essay I wrote on my maternal great-grandmother. We have to keep the memories alive, preserve their times and their lives out of which we came.

Debs Carr said...

Liane - thank you. I love reading about people's lives, there always seem to be so much more to people than you might have at first realised.