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The Sapient Ape

Life as an employed MBA grad during an economic recovery. DISCLAIMER: Everything written here is fiction.

Interviewing 101 – Part 1?

So today I had another phone interview — probably my 40th since I started this process oh so long ago (what was it — late 2007?).

You learn something new every time (at least that’s the theory, right?).  Today I learned that sometimes interviewers are nervous too.  Maybe they aren’t as comfortable talking for a long time on the phone, or maybe they just aren’t a good speaker.  I mean don’t get me wrong — there were no real fuck-up moments on the other end, but my interviewer’s voice sounded a bit pinched (although maybe it was the pain she felt from being 8 months pregnant).   Knowing that actually helped me relax.  Although, in the end, I did fuck up one of the questions a bit.

But phone interviewing for me is the easiest type of interview I come across.  Which is strange, because I consider myself a face-to-face type of person.

Phone Etiquette

I guess my phone bullshit mode is easier to fake than my RL bullshit mode.  I just make my voice sing and dance.  Besides, I’ve made about 150 calls already this week at this new temp job (not to mention all the calls I made during the campaign) — I’m getting better and better at it.  Its amazing the little things that can affect people’s moods on the phone — a well-placed polite chuckle here, a “mm-hmm” there — those inane comments that I used to so despise really go a long way towards making people feel like you care.

The secret when listening to someone else talk is to let them know you’re listening without overbearing on their conversation.   As an aggressive individual, my problem has always been cutting people off, or trying to speak before they are finished.  I seem to be getting better at this, but still struggle with it occassionally.  You come across as overbearing and know-it-all-ish , which in my case, is the truth, but they don’t have to know that until later!  Patience, which is probably one of my weaknesses, is really key.  Even if you want to say something, its best to let the other person go on until they run out of steam.  Then they’ll be ready to listen to your bs for at least 2-3 minutes.

Small Talk

“Ohh you’re pregnant?  So is my sister, bla bla bla!”

Does that really help?  I think it does to a certain extent — any kind of personalized relationship or rapport you can build with the interviewer is of course going to be a point in your favor, no matter how minor — as long as its not forced.  The thing to remember is that you’re not competing against yourself, but against other candidates.  You have to be more memorable and more impressive than they are.

In the End

Don’t follow too much of my advice… it hasn’t gotten me a job so far!

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Modern 14k Gold Line Stud Earrings 10mm Bar Studs Yellow Gold by Susan Sarantos

Regular price $125.00

These thin bar studs are highly polished and made of solid 14k yellow gold. The ear nuts and back posts are also 14k yellow gold. Size is approximately 10mm x 1mm.

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10mm x 2mm sterling silver bar stud earrings high polish

Sterling Silver Bar Stud Earrings 10mm x 2mm High Polish by Susan Sarantos

Regular price $24.00

Modern elegant sterling silver bar studs with a high polished surface. Approximately 10mm x 2mm. The ear nuts and back posts are also solid sterling silver.

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October 3, 2012

Diecast: CMC Ferrari 250 California

by Mark Savage

CMC’s Ferrari detail excels, including first working trunk latch

There are few, if any, models in the die-cast world as finely made as those produced by CMC. And while pricey, they are well worth the cost for serious, selective collectors.Ferrari 250 California convertible

Consider that the new 1:18 Ferrari 250 California is hand-assembled from 1,634 individual parts including wire-spoked wheels with aluminum rims, each spoke hand-mounted with a single nipple and each tire has a valve stem. Wiring and other under-hood detailing is exquisite and realistic looking, as is the car’s underside. No corners are cut here, thus the premium price tag.

The 250 California short wheelbase (SWB) first showed up at the Geneva Auto Show in 1960 with a 3.0-liter V12 delivering 250 hp. Top speed was 145 mph and it was said to do 0-60 mph in about 6.5 seconds. That may not sound so impressive today, but in 1960, this was considered a super car. Think modern day Bugatti Veyron!

Why is it called California?

detail of Ferrari 250 California by CMCWell, that was Ferrari’s best market in the U.S. and its U.S. distributors suggested the name, and also requested that the car be a convertible. The 250 California was hand-built in limited numbers by Carozerria Scaglietti, which boosts their collector value; some being auctioned in the last few years for $5 million to $10 million.

The 250 SWB featured a stiffer chassis than its long wheelbase predecessor, while also being lighter and having more power. This made the car, which also featured disc brakes, a natural for racing, and it did at the famous LeMans and Sebring endurance races, a LWB model finishing fifth overall at the 1959 LeMans, so these had race cred.

How famous is it? Well, most folks will know it best if you tell them it’s the car Ferris Bueller takes on his rowdy day off in the notable 1986 movie with Matthew Broderick!

Performance: Start with the CMC Ferrari’s immaculate body and brilliant red paint job. The car looks elegant, but fast and features chrome bumpers, door handles and windshield framing, plus chrome wipers with black blades, that’s how detailed this is. The bumpers even feature chrome guards, with black rubber inserts to protect them from parking lot dings, or a wayward roll in your display case.

Ferrari 250 trunck latch

The trunk latch actually works on this CMC model, a diecast first!

The enclosed headlights look real, again with chrome rings, and the taillights are accurate right down to their two-tone amber and red lenses. The Ferrari prancing horse sits mid-grille with a logo gracing the nose and the name is etched in metal on the trunk lid, just above the trunk lock and latch, which actually works, a die-cast first. On the car’s side are stainless steel air vents with real wire mesh too … detail, detail, detail!Inside the convertible shows off its tan leather seats and black dash with exquisite gauge detail. The two main gauges are so exact you can read the numbers on the dials and there are five smaller gauges to their right, all ringed in chrome. There are 9 other levers and buttons below those gauges, plus the shifter with a black cue-ball knob and a wood-look steering wheel, again with an accurate Ferrari logo on its hub. There’s also a rearview mirror atop the dash, the style of the day, along with a wood three-spoke Nardi steering wheel.CMC Ferrari dash details

The California’s engine bay is well detailed too with “Ferrari” cast in the famous Colombo V12’s header covers and all hosing and wiring in place. I like seeing all the clamps and connectors, which is uncommon in most 1:18 models of lesser detail. Even the car’s oil filter is properly labeled.

The hood hinge is realistic too and the hood opens forward, while the Ferrari’s doors and trunk open smoothly, perhaps even smoother than the original’s did. This model does not feel delicate as some die-cast cars do, it feels substantial.

The Ferrari’s undercarriage is expertly detailed with proper brake lines and a full cylindrical spring suspension and realistic brakes. Wheels are branded Michelins and are fully removable, with locking wheel nuts that really work. Of course the front wheels also are steerable and in back are two sets of chrome dual exhausts, hinting at what must have been a beautiful exhaust note on the California. Next up, 1:18-scale engines that really run?

CMC Ferrari California models

CMC is making the California in four colors, the blue, black and silver all in limited runs.

Final Details: For those who don’t care for red Ferraris (get behind us satan!), CMC also is making the California in blue, silver and black, all limited to 2,500 pieces and including a metal hard-top, a rarity among the real cars.Ironically, although a limited build, there still will be many more CMC Californias than exist of the real car. Snag one before they sell out and double in value on eBay!

Purchase this plus more Ferraris by CMC Model Cars at Racing Heroes.

FAST Stats: 1960 Ferrari 250 California SWB

Maker: CMC

Scale: 1:18

Stock No.: M-091

MSRP: $439

Rating: 5 stars (out of 5)

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What’s really happening in the City of Vancouver when it comes to natural gas?

The timeline below provides information on what steps Mayor Gregor Robertson and the City of Vancouver have already taken and plan to take, how those plans will impact residents and local businesses, and what others have to say about the City’s plans.

November 2015

Vancouver City Council approves Renewable City Strategy, requiring 100% renewable energy use by 2050.

July 2016

Council approves Zero Emissions Building Plan, requiring all newly permitted buildings to have zero emissions by 2030.

September 2016

Several media outlets cover the city’s proposed natural gas ban.

September 2016

The city issues a memo in response to an opinion piece in The Province regarding the ban on natural gas. The memo identifies BC Hydro (B.C.’s electric utility company) as a co-funder for the city’s research and consultation of the Zero Emissions Building Plan, and reiterates their commitment to derive 100 per cent of Vancouver’s energy from renewable sources before 2050.

November 2016

Council approves amendments to Green Buildings Policy for Rezonings, as part of the Renewable City Strategy, that require both new and rezoned buildings to reduce GHG emissions by 50%, effectively banning conventional natural gas.

November 2016

November 2016: Council defeats a motion titled “Commitment to Affordable Energy in the City of Vancouver” which asked for support for natural gas as an affordable source of energy. The motion stated: “Taking action that limits the number of residential and commercial users of natural gas will have an impact on affordability for restaurants, caterers and other suppliers and limit the ability of suppliers to maintain natural gas as a utility.”

FortisBC states that its renewable natural gas supply is inadequate for the city’s current 108,000 natural gas users, and would only meet demands of less than 1% of Vancouverites.

February 2017

Council approves bylaw changes that extend GHG emission limits to multi-family dwellings under seven stories and large single-family homes, starting March 2018.

March 2017

SFU Professor of Sustainable Energy Mark Jaccard releases a report that explains how the City of Vancouver is effectively banning natural gas. Jaccard’s report confirms that renewable natural gas is simply not realistic in the foreseeable future.

May 2017

Moving forward, new high rise buildings and those that require rezoning will no longer be able to install or employ natural gas lines.

March 2018

All multi-unit residential buildings & large single family homes will have to increase energy efficiency, losing the choice to use natural gas for heating or cooking.

So, what does this mean?

It means the Mayor and the City of Vancouver have decided for you how you cook, how you entertain, how you heat your home, how you run your business. It’s your home, it’s your business. It’s your lifestyle. Shouldn’t it be your choice?

Tell Mayor Gregor Robertson and City Hall #NoGasBan in Vancouver!

Save My Natural Gas is a coalition of concerned residents and small business owners across Vancouver and throughout the Lower Mainland. We are focused on: raising awareness of this important issue; urging the City of Vancouver to engage in meaningful community consultation on energy choices; and encouraging the City to reconsider its costly and impractical ban on natural gas.


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*disclaimer* This might be “ranty.”

I’m a vegan. I’m a vegan with an eating disorder. There! I said it.

Well, okay. I’m 100% vegetarian, and a “relaxed” vegan. I eat vegan the vast majority of the time, but I will make occasional exceptions (like, for example, the fun size reese’s pieces that I’m having right now).

I went vegetarian at 16, when my eating disorder was active. I will be honest and say, yes, of course my e.d. influenced that decision. My e.d. influences many, many decisions. It influences, for example, what I put on in the morning. Does that mean I shouldn’t wear pants? Of course not! B/c even though my e.d. might influence what pants I put on, I also recognize the fact that there are many more important, practical, clear, logical reasons to cover up my bottom half today – the weather, public indecency laws, comfort, boundaries, etc. Plus, I just want to wear pants. Probably my cords. Ed might try to influence the decision, but ultimately I am going to wear my cords (whether Ed likes it or not) for reasons far beyond my e.d.

As probably many eating disordered people can tell you, when you have an eating disorder, it influences a HUGE number of decisions – big and small – that you make throughout the day. It’s the all-encompassing nature of the disease. Does that mean my decision to wear my cords today is ALL ABOUT, or even primarily about, my eating disorder? Of course not. That would just be silly!

And I know that food choices are different than pants choices. Food seems more central to an e.d. because that is the symptamotology. Though, I would argue that clothing/size/body image is also very much impacted by an e.d. But, yes, I understand that they are not the same.

What is the same is the fact that, though my choice to go vegetarian may have been influenced by my eating disorder – as so many decisions are – it was not the primary reason I went vegetarian, nor is it now. I went vegetarian initially because I love animals. I love them. I knew that I personally would never be able to slaughter an animal, to take its life, to eat it. When I really thought about this, it seemed unethical to me for me to allow someone else to do that in my name. As I learned more about the meat industry in the US, my ethical decision to be vegetarian was reinforced. Then, as I became Quaker and pledged to live in accordance to non-violence, I saw vegetarianism as in line with that too. So, the reasons are actually logical, rational, and very clearly line up with what I believe. It seems that I have an eating disorder AND *gasp* reasonable, clear, healthy, competent reasons for being a vegetarian.

And, yet, over time, I had it drilled into my head (by books, by doctors, by family members, by some e.d. professionals and activists) that an eating disordered person who is vegetarian *must* be using it to restrict. So, during one of my early periods of recovery, I gave it up. I stopped being vegetarian. I thought I needed to give it up in order to recover. Though I recognize that this may be the case for some people, personally, I regret this choice. My weight skyrocketed above my set point. I felt sluggish. I wasn’t digesting well. And, mostly, I felt like I was living a lifestyle that went against many of my core values. After about eight months, I switched back to being vegetarian. I missed it too much. I missed the lifestyle. And after switching back, I felt so much better emotionally, mentally, and physically. AND I had the medical tests to support it – my weight gradually went back to my set point, my iron levels actually went UP, my vitamin &  minerals were coming from my plant-based diet rather than a tablet, my protein was in a realistic range that my body could use, rather than sky-high like many people’s. My energy came back. I slept better. For my personal body, it seems, vegetarianism is the way to go.

And yet, I still get flack for it a lot of the time. I get things like, “You lost weight because you’re vegan.” No. Dead wrong. I lost weight because *I have an eating disorder.* Let’s not confuse the two. They’re not necessarily synonyms. I also read things with alarming frequency that are skeptical at best and downright disapproving at worst in their assessments of vegetarianism in people with eating disorders. I keep thinking that people will realize that assuming vegetarianism is about restricting is unfair. And yet, it keeps coming up time and time again.

The book “Gaining” is the most recent thing that I read, which is what inspired this post. I had heard so many good things about “Gaining” – that it is progressive, that it is insightful – and, in many ways, it is. Until the lauded example of the e.d. dietitian who, when confronted w/ a vegetarian client, would “test” them by asking what animal rights organizations they were part of.

REALLY?!!!! This is where I almost hurled (involuntarily) all over the book  in Border’s. First of all, people choose vegetarianism for all sorts of non-eating disordered reasons that may or may not have to do with animal rights. Second, REALLY?!! Are we going to tell a a client that she’s not Christian if she’s not actively going to church?? Are we going to tell a client that he’s not against racism if he’s not a member of the ACLU?? Are we going to tell a client we don’t believe she’s a feminist if she’s not a member of NOW?? Are we going to tell a homosexual client he doesn’t support gay rights if he’s not a member of the HRC?? We don’t all join groups to support our core beliefs. And yet, vegetarians somehow have to “prove” their vegetarianism is for the “right” reasons with this litmus test.

I’d like to suggest another approach. What if, instead of immediately creating an environment of skepticism and mistrust by interrogating a client’s vegetarianism, e.d. treatment providers create a space of non-judgmental curiosity and trust that would encourage a client to open up about their reasons for vegetarianism? That way, a client who had chosen vegetarianism as a way to restrict (and, yes, of course I acknowledge that this happens) could ask for help from their RD and treatment team without fear of being told “I told you so” or being judged. Also, that way a client who was an ethical vegetarian could actually have support in having BOTH their ethics AND their recovery.

You know what the skepticism about vegetarianism in the e.d. community does accomplish? It’s incredibly effective at keeping a lot of us out of treatment. I know a number of eating disordered vegetarians who won’t see e.d. dietitians because they fear they will be questioned at best and condemned at worst. Last I checked, there were no IP programs that would support veganism. Some will support vegetarianism, though many won’t. Most residential programs will not support veganism, and often those few that do merely “tolerate” it – be prepared to eat A LOT of peanut butter & jelly (not sure how this helps break repetitive eating). I know a number of people who have gone to residential programs (that shall remain nameless) and were told before admission that they could remain vegetarian, but upon arrival the rules changed (NOT helpful in any psychiatric treatment) and they were told that their vegetarianism was a means of supporting their eating disorder, and the RDs wouldn’t work with them as vegetarians. I have seen them after discharge at my treatment center, wanting to switch back to being vegetarian, but they have had their own sense of self-trust undermined. Those who do switch back for healthy reasons, then have to restructure what they eat yet again under the guidance of the RD at my treatment center. Big dietary changes like this can be difficult for anyone, but especially for people in recovery, vegetarianism or not.

Personally speaking, I put off seeing an RD for quite some time last year because I did not want to have to battle over my ethics. Then, I found my current RD’s description on my treatment center’s website, and her bio said very clearly that she specialized in eating disorders AND was interested in vegetarian diets. I immediately made the phone call. If she hadn’t had that statement on the website, I may never have found my way to my incredible treatment center. I have switched to being vegan while working with her, and it has actually been incredibly beneficial to my recovery. When I decided to switch to being vegan, my RD did ask me about it. Like I said, I do realize that there are people who use vegetarianism/veganism as a way to restrict. So, yes, I think it’s very important for treatment providers to have open and honest discussions with clients about their food choices, perhaps even at multiple points in treatment. And that’s what my RD  (who’s not a vegetarian, for the record) did with me. When I told her I was thinking of switching to veganism, she asked me, with curiosity and compassion rather than judgement, about my reasoning. She asked me if and how I thought it would impact my recovery. I told her my reasons, explained my ethical views, my understanding of veganism and my recovery, etc. And she trusted that I was making reasonable, healthy, competent decisions based on my food politics and ethics. Because of that trust, I have had the benefit of an RD’s guidance as I transitioned to veganism. And it has been so beneficial to my recovery. Often in the support group that I attend at my center, there are other vegetarians and vegans who inevitably at some point mention that they are so grateful to have found a treatment center and an e.d. dietitian who will support vegetarianism/veganism. It has made treatment possible for many of use who had been met with with (and still often are met with) skepticism and mistrust when we have simply been trying to live a life in accordance with our reasonable, rational, mature, competent ethics and beliefs.

Do any of you have experiences with this? What are your thoughts on the matter? How do we balance food politics and eating disorder recovery?


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hi, my name is princess hardhead.

at least that is what hubby calls me, and let me tell you, today i was in full form. i went to rite aid to print out a bunch of digital photos that one of my friends had burned onto a cd for me (my printer isn’t working so i can’t print them at home). well, since i know everything, i didn’t ask for help when printing the photos on the kodak machine in the store. well, instead of printing out 89 photos (yes, i had a lot) i started printing out…oh…532. wtf!? luckily, the manager caught that, but unlukily for him, he didn’t know who he was dealing with. you see, it wasn’t MY fault that i didn’t know what i was doing. i proceeded to get fussy with him and got all snippy. he got slightly snippy back, but for good reason. i was a total jerk. err…hardhead. as i slowly simmered down, he showed me how to use the machine properly.

side of crow? mmm. tasty.

luckily i had some photos of hubby hunting and the store manager was a hunter, so we had a good conversation and instead of charging me an ungodly price for all the wasted photos i had printed (somehow i managed to print at least 4 copies of each photo) he only charged me $10 for the stack of about 100. thank you, nice manager man! and since he had stopped the printing and showed me the correct way to work things, the rest of my photos only cost $16.

but don’t think the day is over for princess hardhead, yet! oh no, there’s more. as i was cleaning out the litter box (we use a flush friendly kind) i put WAY too much in the toilet. figuring it was fine, i flushed. it didn’t work. it is now several hours later and we are waiting for the plumber to show up. oh yes, i totally and utterly clogged the one and only toilet in the house with cat litter. i tried to unclog it, unscuessfully, for about 20 at which time i called hubby. luckily, it was about time for him to head home for the day. he and i worked on the toilet for the better part of an hour and we finally gave in. he even made up a little song about me being princess hardhead.

yes, princess hardhead is home today. what a fucking idiot!

One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Gypsy on August 2, 2007 at 1:29 am

    My Lancelot could be Prince Hardhead. LOL

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Tag Archives: Helen DeWitt

The Unsung Letter No.2

Just to let you know, the next Unsung Letter is out, and it’s by A.D. Devers. You can sign up here, if you haven’t already done so. More to come in the next weeks!

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Endless reads review: Lightning Rods by Helen DeWitt

Lightning Rods is deft, dedicated satire of Swiftian proportion, so convincingly written in a faux-relatable, business pitch style that I flinched upon reading it. I needed, for the first little while, to remind myself precisely what DeWitt was pulling off – the magnitude of the ludicrous parody she was constructing. It was that or pulling at my cheeks in anxious resistance to the big sell.

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Sunday, February 3, 2013

The 14 Days of Valentine's #12: Lego Ninjago

Happy Superbowl Sunday!  I realized today that I still needed to make a few cards for this series so during the half time show I designed this through Cricut Craft Room.  I used George & Basic Shapes for the image.
My son loves Lego Ninjago so this one is for him.....

Materials Used:
*George and Basic Shapes
*Cricut Craft Room
*Cardstock by Recollections
*Chatterbox ink (Olive) for highlights
*Hero Arts for sentiment


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My sister hates the signature whine her GPS makes when she deviates from the agreed-upon route:

For a piece of electronic engineering, it sounds remarkably petulant. However, sometimes redirECTing is unavoidable, as we could tell the GPS if it were in the mood to listen.

Particularly in genealogical research. Particularly when your original route is leading into a swamp.

For example: One of my great-great-aunts, Mary Ann Haigney (1872-1956), inconsiderately married a person surnamed Walker. Sorting through Walkers in directories, documents and federal censuses is not nearly as efficient as sorting through Haigneys, and I just don’t know as much as I’d like about them. I did have a bunch of newspaper clippings about Mary Ann, including her obituary and several society items about family parties mentioning visits from her son Edward and his wife, a grandson, and “Mrs. Geis.” I really wanted to confirm the names of Edward’s wife and son, and find out who the mysterious Mrs. Geis was.

But this year, I had a couple of super-strengths to put into the Walker search.

The first was the 1940 census. The second was the address book kept in the late 1930s and early 1940s by my great-aunt Anna.  When I got this address book last fall and realized its value as a 1940 search tool, I felt like holding it aloft, superhero-style, and waiting for thunderbolts to explode out of it.

In the address book was a Brooklyn address for an “E. Walker,” whom I devoutly hoped would turn out to be Mary Ann’s son Edward. Using another awesome thunderbolt of genealogical power, the Unified 1940 Census E.D. Finder, I located:

Walker, Edward, head, 38

Walker, Frances, wife, 43

[redacted], son, 11

Geis, Caspar, brother-in-law, 58

Geis, Henrietta, sister-in-law, 49

[redacted], niece by marriage, 23

Identities for Edward’s wife and son! Plus, an explanation for Mrs. Geis!

Clearly, Caspar was Frances’ brother, and Frances’ maiden name was Geis. Fantastic. I decided to take a lunch break.

Astute readers will know that any time the word “clearly” appears in my text, things are actually not clear at all. Over a sandwich and tea, I recalled that phrase “by marriage.”

Wait a minute. Whose marriage? Was Edward linked to the Geis family through Caspar, or through Henrietta? I read through the entry again. Sure enough, it was a classic case of stopping too soon for a lunch break. There was a seventh name in the household:

 Schemank, Mary, mother-in-law, 77

With that, I had the complete picture. As the full household list implies (and other documents eventually confirmed), Edward had married the former Miss Frances Schemank, not Geis. Henrietta (Schemank) Geis is one of Frances’ sisters (she had two, plus a brother). Caspar Geis, of course, is Frances’ brother-in-law, not her brother.

And I’m just glad my genealogy GPS redirECTed before I drove the car into a swamp.

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Hannah’s Example

May 13, 2011

Hannah struggled with infertility. When she finally did have a son, she handed him over to the care of Eli the priest. Imagine how she must have felt dropping Samuel off at the temple that day….

“As our brave Hannah entered her hardest hour–the hour appointed for her to leave her long-awaited and much-prayed-for son at the house of the Lord to be raised by another–we see that her focus was not on herself, not on her problems, and not on her sacrifice, but instead on her great God.” -Elizabeth George

Mom can’t be there for every moment of a child’s life. Like Hannah, the time will come when she must let go…

It happens when her son is five and he enters the kindergarten door for the first time.

It happens when her son is eight and she drops him off for football practice and doesn’t stay to watch.

It happens when her daughter is twelve and she drops her off at a birthday party.

It happens when her daughter is sixteen and drives away with a brand new driver’s license.

It happens when her son is eighteen and she drops him off at a dorm.

It happens in moments big and small. Moms must turn around and walk away. And like Hannah, we must trust God. But what exactly do we expect from God by trusting in Him? That He will never allow our children to get hurt? Always keep them safe? I don’t think that’s what Hannah expected as she dropped off young Samuel with the priest Eli. Her trust in God wasn’t conditional. She knew that whatever God allowed to happen in Samuel’s life (be it good or bad) was part of His sovereign plan.

We do all we can to prepare our children for what they will see, experience, and learn when they are away from momma’s care. But ultimately, we trust God. Not only for our children’s safety, but for their sanctification.

As we wrap up our series on biblical mothers, what are you praying for in the lives of your children today? Please let us know in the comments so we can pray for each other!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 13, 2011 7:32 am

    My oldest son is graduating in June and heading to training for the Army National Guard in August. My mama heart is having a hard time with how fast my boys are growing!

    • May 13, 2011 2:57 pm

      I’m sure that is hard Melissa! Lifting you and your son up right now!

  2. Lisa V. permalink
    May 14, 2011 7:19 am

    My prayer for my two sons (Frank 5 yr and Josepeh 6 wks) is that they would come to know Jesus at an early age and love Him all the days of their lives. Thank you for your prayer.

    • Sandra permalink
      May 15, 2011 5:58 pm

      The most important prayer we can pray, Lisa! Lifting up your sons now!

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Searching for Normalcy

"And finally, above all else, it is about leaving a mark that I existed: I was here. I was hungry. I was defeated. I was happy. I was sad. I was in love. I was afraid. I was hopeful. I had an idea and I had a good purpose and that’s why I made works of art…" – Felix Gonzalez-Torres

just like smiling in the dark January 7, 2009

Filed under: Music,Video — Lulu @ 4:45 pm

Just a song I truly love and hadn’t heard in a while. It’s so sweet and lovely. Really, it just makes me happy.

“Pure” – The Lightning Seeds

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Tag Archives: daisy syrup recipe

Bellis perennis

Daisy – Pâquerette Here in Provence the first Daisies have come up.  They stay more or less all through the winter till spring.  The flower is made up of white ray florets and yellow disc flowers.  Each little yellow bit … Continue reading

Posted in Flowers, Infusions, Leaves | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment


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Business and Passion…

Today I found out that the first company that I worked for has gone into administration. They’ve taken many different forms since I was there, quite a few years ago, but the thing that matters is that this was a company formed on the love and the passion of music.

Let’s forget the touring fun, and sound engineering crap. This company was all about rock music and all about promoting good music. Be it new, popular, stadium filling or small scale bands who’re packing out a tiny club and trying to make their way in this crazy business – they would support.

But I HATED the way this business was run.

It’s a really tough thing in my opinion, to attempt to monetise passion. Because that is largely what it is. Music is a passion. We are moved by music. It can be so profound and life changing that it makes us who we are. We live by it – we save our money and work so we can buy tickets, t-shirts, CD’s vinyls, meet and greets and general just support our passion for music – and this company had that Idea. They wanted to bring together the wider community of rock music and make it one. And to do that, they had a committed team of people who had their own ideas of how to do it. And in my opinion that is the toughest thing to do. To make a profit out of you passion and our fellows who are also passionate about it, is a tough task and they failed with it. The ideas, policies and business strategy that this place implement at first was laughable, and they try nearly lost it very early – but they did get it back together for a point.

Without rambling, they pulled it together and failed. In some cases they let the passion get the better of them and invested in opportunities that were stupid, in trying to recuperate the losses that they ensued, they had to screw over the areas of their business that really appeared to the passionate rock and music community. It was a shame and this was where my part in the business came to an end. And I was happy about this. It was no longer about the passion.

And then today happened. A long time later, 6 days before christmas, the company told all 73 of it’s employees and many of my former colleagues that they were losing their jobs. And not only that, they wouldn’t be paid for the last month of their passionate work.

This makes me angry.
Very angry.

They wanted to promote music. They were passionate about all that keeps my world, and many of our worlds ticking on. These people, who worked many hours (many more than they were paid for) to feed the worlds music appetite and keep us all going lost their jobs today and got told that they won’t even get compensated for the tough work they’ve been doing.

And this is my point in this ramble. People can be passionate about something, but I think in this cruel and cold world – when you let your heart get in the way and lead with your passion, you could struggle. In fact, I’d go as far as saying if your passion in business is about anything OTHER than money, you will struggle.

For me today, a part of rock and roll, metal, prog (whatever guitar based music really) died. It’s sad – and I’ve had a drink to celebrate the awesome, honest and passionate work of some of the music industries best professionals.

In the UK, we have lost a great outlet for new and awesome music. But hey, let’s keep making it!

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How things work here

All I wanted was a Post Office box. In order to do that, I had to go to the post office, pick up a form that needed a stamp from the college – I guess not any person off the street can get a PO Box; you need to prove employment nearby. Colleagues told me to go to HR and that it shouldn’t be a problem. I surprised myself by actually finding the right office, and showed them the form and requested a stamp. Three women looked up from their lunch and said it wasn’t their job and told me to talk to the Dean.

Not wanting to disturb the highest ranked person at the college for a stamp for a lowly PO Box, I knocked on the door of his assistant. She was extremely nice, and thrilled to meet me, having heard all about the new teachers. However, the Assistant to the Dean couldn’t help me; she had no idea what the form was (even though it was in both English and Arabic), and escorted me to the Office of Administration and Finance. Three more women were in there, one behind the desk, others seemingly socializing. They all looked confused as they poured over the form. They focused on the word “sponsorship” in the place where I needed a signature and the coveted stamp. The one behind the desk argued that my recruiter should sign and stamp the form, not the college. Another, one of the visitors and my apparent advocate, stated that it was only for a PO Box and it should be no trouble to sign it. An argument ensued in Arabic, where I would hear “sponsorship” and “post” and little else comprehensible to me (except for the ever-present “Inshallah” and “halas,” which means “finished”). I sat, waited, and hoped. The result was that they would find someone to sign the form – several phone calls had already been made, but no one seemed to be around. I was to come back at 1:30 to pick up the form. I missed my goal of getting to the post office before my 2PM class; the post office (and all other office for that matter) would be closed by the time I was done teaching at 3:30.

I dutifully came back at 1:30. The office was locked.

I took this picture of the campus clock at about 3PM.

I stood by the door and my Omani office mate walked by. She went to graduate school in the US and is now an interesting blend of conservative Islam and Type A American mentality. My stamp became her mission too. We knocked on five doors looking for a particular someone (my guess is the person in the office that I was supposed to meet at that time). No luck. Minutes later, my officemate found someone who would talk to me about my plight, and I found myself sitting with the Assistant Dean of the entire College explaining my situation for at least the tenth time. When I told him all I wanted an official College stamp so I could have a PO Box, he told me my issue was an academy, not an academic, matter. I said I understood, and had first tried HR to get my form stamped, but they refused and through an odd game of hot potato, I ended up in his office, with my form somewhere else in the land of bureaucracy. He sighed and shook his head, made a few phone calls, and said,

“Go back to that office tomorrow morning. Inshallah.”

The next morning I went back to the office that had housed the arguing women the day before. The door was unlocked, but no one was around. I sat in the over-air-conditioned room and waited. And hoped.

I didn’t think to check what was behind the door across from me, but a few minutes later a Bangladeshi (they tend to be employed as cleaners and overall helpers here) came in carrying a couple of pots of coffee, knocked once on the mysterious door, and walked right in. There was someone inside sitting behind a very imposing desk. I find it strange, but it seems that all the higher-ups on campus seem to have windowless offices tucked away in the far-away corners of the campus. I guess they don’t want to be easily found; or they don’t want to see what’s going on.

I followed the coffee in. The Important Man looked up and smiled and asked how he could help, after being somewhat surprised that his assistant wasn’t there. I retold my story. He asked where the form was. I sighed. Thankfully, the assistant came back a few minutes later with my form and several others, all awaiting his signature. We found mine and he started to read. I became hopeful.

“Why do you want a post office box? You will be leaving after a semester anyway.”

I was dumbfounded, angered, and depressed by his words; I had no idea how to respond. I told him that I was happy in Oman, and that the college was a fine one, and that my husband and I planned on staying here. He replied “Well, maybe you will stay a year, but that is no reason to have a box.” My heart sank a little more while my frustration grew. Again, I reasoned with him that we wanted to receive mail from our families, and that we liked it here. Meanwhile, I was simply thinking of ways to either steal a damn stamp and/or throttle this guy.

True to Omani form, he made some phone calls – about four. The final one was to the post office itself, for reasons that are unclear to me. Finally, he hung up, looked at me, and said, “I will not sign this form, but I will stamp it.” On cue, his assistant came in from the other room with the coveted stamp and the form was complete.

This art is on one of my classroom walls. I didn’t quite feel disgusted during this process, but damn close.

Immediately, Dave and I went to the post office to claim our prize. I have no idea why we thought this part was going to be smooth sailing. We walked into a completely empty office, except for two older bearded men behind the glass—not a customer in sight. We handed them the form. They stared at it as if they had never seen such a strange piece of paper, even though they had handed it to us the week before in order to get it authorized. Translations were difficult, but it sounded like they were saying all the boxes were being used; perhaps in one month/one year there would be one available for us. Dave took the news well and said OK; I stood slightly behind him in shock. Then the more competent of the two told us we could pay for it – 3 Rials for the rest of the year, 10 Rials for 2015 and another 5 for a lock – “18 Rials total, is ok?” Dave got out his wallet and, after the minion slowly, by hand, filled out another form in quadruplicate and had his boss check it over (and had something corrected), we were handed a key to box 241 (but not before each individual page of said form was stamped). I just looked on, confused as ever. It took over half an hour for all of this to happen.

For more reasons unknown, I was not allowed to have my name associated with the box. Just one name, they said. Whatever. We now have a post office box after going through what was a rather typical process here in Oman.

2 thoughts on “How things work here

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Category Archives: Frostings/Icings

Italian Buttercream, the icing of professionals

Yikes I haven’t posted a recipe in a while! Sorry ’bout that. It’s been quite hectic in this household. Any who, I figured I would share with you a recipe for Italian Buttercream.

Italian buttercream is the go-to icing for professional pastry chefs because of its stability and durability. It is made from Italian meringue (meringue made from whipping egg whites with boiling sugar) and combined with butter and a bit of shortening to give it a nice mouth feel and icing texture.

-1 1/4 cups white sugar
-2/3 cup corn syrup
-2/3 cup water
-5 egg whites
-1 1/3 cups unsalted butter, chilled and cubed
-2 2/3 cups shortening
-2 teaspoons vanilla extract

In a saucepan, combine the sugar, corn syrup and water. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring just enough to dissolve the sugar. Heat to between 223 and 234 degrees F (106 to 112 degrees C), or until a small amount of syrup dripped from a spoon forms a soft thread. It should take 1 or 2 minutes.

When the sugar mixture has reached the thread stage, remove it from the heat and set aside. Whip the egg whites in a large bowl with an electric mixer. When the whites can hold a stiff peak, pour in the sugar syrup in a thin stream while continuing to whip at medium speed. Be careful not to pour too quickly, or it will all end up at the bottom of the bowl. When the syrup is incorporated, continue to mix for 10 more minutes to allow it to cool. The egg whites will be fluffy and glossy.

Add pieces of cold butter one at a time to the egg whites and continue to whip at medium or low speed. Then do the same with the shortening. The buttercream will break down and look curdled, but keep mixing and it will come back together in about 10 minutes. When it comes back around, mix in the vanilla.

Store at room temperature for up to 2 days, or in the refrigerator for up to 1 week. To use after it has been refrigerated, allow it to come to room temperature, then beat with a mixer before using. If cold, heat over a double boiler until you have liquid visible just around the edges. Beat with a mixer until smooth and fluffy before using.


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Archive | April 2016

4 New Ornaments in ebay 30 April 2016

(For this Saturday 30 April, I will be listing only 4 newly handmade ornaments. Although there will be only 4 of them but they are the ones with special design that I specially selected making them. I especially LOVE some of these beautiful designs from dimensions and All Our Yesterdays. So this week, there will be two from AOY, one from Dimensions and the last one from Shepherd’s Bush. Here are the ornaments that I stitched and handmade for this week’s auction.

Enjoy the pictures!  See you next week!    🙂

(*There will be also one Relisted ‘One Of A Kind Crystal Ornament’ for this week’s ebay auction. Please kindly refer to below for more details.)

(click on image link will bring you to each of their ebay auction page. Links only work when auction is active after 5pm PDT on 30 April.)

Dimensions A Family Love

AOY Girls At Seaside

Shepherd’s Bush Summer Garden

AOY A Basketful Of Roses

Unsold /Relisted Ornament

Just Nan OOAK Crystal Ornament – Lady’s Secret Garden

OOAK11           OOAK2

As all of the ornaments are SOLD OUT for last week, there will only be one relisted ornament for this week’s auction. I welcome any best offer. If you are interested getting this pretty ornament, kindly send me your best offer for consideration. Many Thanks. (*To view more details and images on this ornament, kindly click on the picture link above to view the ebay auction. )

For next week, I may also be listing 4 newly handmade ornaments. Till I update again soon. Please don’t leave this blog for too long. Thank you so much for visiting my blog this week. Have a sweet and cheerful weekend! Oops.. I almost forgot.., Many Thanks to those of you for purchasing my new ornaments in last week’s auction. I hope you’ll enjoy these little darlings! ~ May You Also Enjoy The Pictures.   🙂

5 Ornaments In ebay 23 April 2016!

Hello and Welcome back to my new post today. I am so glad to be back here again posting in my blog. Since it’s been a rather a slow transaction rates in ebay after the easter holidays, I will be taking breaks in between during this “off peak season”.  Okay but for now, I’m back again! I will be listing 5 handmade ornaments in ebay this Saturday.  Most of these ornaments are newly made. Only 1 of them is a relisted item and it will be at a sale price!

So what are the themes? Well, they are ornaments for all year long, any season or anytime. There will be 4 of them. Also, most of them will also be starting at a discount price from the usual $20.99 Now $20.35!

So Check Out this Saturday’s ebay auctions on these newly release ornaments , 23 April 2016 after 5pm PDT.  But for now, let’s get started and take a quick peek at these little darlings. Enjoy!      🙂

(Click on the picture link will bring you to each of their ebay auction page. Links only work after April 23,  5pm PDT.)

Just Nan Garden Party

Shepherd’s Bush Bee Happy

Just Nan Rose Angel

Stoney Creek Love Greatly

Heart In Hand Mums Are Magic  (Last One Left! $19)

*For any unsold ornaments, I may relist them in the next following week auction. So if you miss out any, just check back again here or in ebay.  ~So I’ll see you next week! Bye.

One Week Break!

Spring break pup

See You Again On April 23, 2016!

(*For those who purchase our ornaments in ebay (auctions that ended on Sunday April 10, 2016), not to worry as we will still be shipping your items as usual.)


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Monday, February 02, 2015

Gajak, a Winter Delight

Gajak is a sweet  that we eat without feeling guilt as it is a bundle of nutrients. Jaggery a natural sweetener and sesame with its richness makes it an ideal snack to devour.

My date with a gajak factory is fixed on the Christmas Day. Following the address as I cross Jareeb Chawki  signal, I can smell the sweet smell of melting jaggery, though my car windows are tightly shut. I reach a cozy factory with a furnace, huge woks of iron, roasted sesame and melted jaggery all around.

For making gajak, jaggery is heated till the consistency is like hard kneaded dough. The most interesting part comes when the trained workers stretch this dough like elastic. A nail on the wall is used to tuck the dough and it is stretched and whipped for some time. It looks like a thick shinning rope. Now roasted sesame is mixed well with jaggery and  divided into the pieces of half Kg each.Now each piece is beaten with wooden hammers by two persons. finally an iron frame is pressed on it to divide it into square pieces.
The gajak is ready to be packed immediately to avoid the moisture so that it remains crisp.

Mrs Rani, the owner of this factory, is a part of this family business for more than 50 yrs. She invites me to see how they make sugar-toys, a popular sweet during diwali as gajak is made and consumed only in winters. Ruchi, her granddaughter gives me a packet of chocolate-gajak and leaves me enveloped with the sweetness of her gift and smile.


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Archive | Music charts RSS feed for this section

An album isn’t just for Christmas…

22 Dec

My favourite Christmas album. Try it, it’ll get you right in the mood.

Christmas is coming, so I hope you’re all prepared and making merry in whatever way you most like, whatever your beliefs or proclivities. It’s been a fraught month of hard work and hard luck over here, but the tinsel covered juggernaut that is Christmas is thundering my way, so best to cheer up and get on with it I think. What better activity then, than debating some choice music? No festive tunes though, I have to say.

So, I’ve just read NME’s top albums of the year and as usual decided that either I’m slightly out of touch or the NME just like promoting bands that most of us wouldn’t have heard of otherwise. To be honest though, there’s some good stuff in there (The Arctic Monkey’s AM was their top choice, incidentally, although that’s more my nephew’s sort of thing these days). I’m personally hoping for Daft Punk and Laura Marling for Christmas (their albums, not a personal appearance).

Continue reading

How I Learned to Stop Worrying, and love ABBA.

30 Jul

As a child, although I didn’t fully realise it at the time, music was a contentious subject in my family. At an age where I didn’t think of such things, my parents had already pitched their flag in the cultural landscape of conservative (in a political as well as musical sense). In this middle of the road, anything from the mid ‘60s onwards was often viewed with an element of suspicion. If a music artist was male and had a good classic voice, they were acceptable to my mother’s ears (Tom Jones was about as radical as she got). The Beatles, incidentally, where shunned, and still are, no matter how many accolades they get. My Dad’s taste was broader, but his nostalgic affinity with the ‘40s Big Band sound eclipsed any possible awareness of then current sounds. The counter cultural revolution of the late ‘60s was the epitome of everything wrong with the younger crowd. Older than the average parents for my generation, Mum and Dad’s entertainment tastes were firmly rooted in the 1950s and early ‘60s.

There was an exception, however; a contemporary music act who my parents happily tolerated, even if they rarely bought their music. I speak of a band with a name I could remember mainly as it was a simple and potentially meaningless moniker:  ABBA. Through some act of immunity, this artist’s music escaped the culture filter that parents often unknowingly surround their young children with. So this band came to my attention at a very young age, and became my first musical love. In honesty, their place in my affections has not dimmed in over thirty years, no matter how seriously or fervently I’ve pursued other musical attractions. They also rose above any other sounds I was hearing at that time, by pure virtue of their unique qualities; qualities that at such an impressionable age are likely to cause a second listen. They sounded harmonious, catchy and oddly different. I didn’t really know what the female voices were singing about either, except it sounded vaguely glamorous and grown up, sometimes slightly forbidden. Only now, do I appreciate how adult ABBA are. They didn’t concern themselves much with the usual deviant topics of rock n’ roll, but rather the more mature themes of marriage, divorce and sometimes (let’s be frank) sex. However, by ‘sex’ I mean the grown up responsible kind, not usually the kind the likes of AC/DC may have been screaming enthusiastically about. Still, ABBA could do frisky. ABBA aren’t obviously the most sexual group out there, but listen to the Glam rock stomp of “Rock me”. They’re not singing about ordering pizza. Elsewhere, the group could actually be downright silly. Whereas “Summer Night City” positively reeks of beer and sex, the likes of “Bang-A-Boomerang” tread a bold lyrical path on the edge of the ludicrous. Continue reading

The generation who had a new explanation. Remembering the decade I never knew…Destination Sixties.

24 Feb

I didn’t live through the 1960s; I wasn’t even born during that decade and yet that era has had such a big impact on me that I feel I should share some thoughts on the subject. Of course this is where I should define exactly what the subject is. One decade is a fairly big subject; and just what aspect of a ten year period am I considering and is it really ten years. Is it really so clear cut?

To be precise, I’m talking about the Sixties as a creative influence, a constant reference for what has come afterwards in the Arts. It’s an odd thing, since nobody ever taught me that there was something ‘special’ about the 1960s in the context of the 20th century, although that would appear to be the latter day suggestion- I kind of taught myself that truth. If indeed it is one. Growing up in the ‘70s and ‘80s involved lots of good cultural reference points for one to reminisce about in later yeas, but the ‘70s seemed grimmer and more about ‘making do’. Like the morning after a great party. Or is that just the way I chose to see it? Continue reading

You can’t sing, you can’t dance, you look awful…you’ll go a long way! (Childhood memories of early ’80s pop).

18 Oct

The early 1980s were an odd time for pop music. There’s a common train of thought that it normally chugs its way through the station marked “Craptown”. But, I have to argue, it isn’t all true. Now, before I continue, I have to say nothing with regard to music winds me up more than ‘80s revisionists. What was embarrassing and without worth in 1981 is going to be pretty much the same thirty years later, perhaps more so. Then again, some things have a kind of period charm (as they often do), like Toyah’s haircuts and dress sense, for example. Alright, so you’re not with me on that one, but you get the idea.

Now, there was some very innovative stuff going on in the post-punk era, no doubt about that. However, that’s not to say a lot of commercial pop music in the early ‘80s was bloody awful; synthetic, irony free and badly written. Oddly these are some of the reasons why some of it is actually quite good, almost deserving respect due to its brash sense of the audacious. Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America” couldn’t be anymore crap if it called itself “Kids in Milton Keynes”, but somehow it works. But some producers knew how to take cheese and add it to a really good omelette, so to speak. Giorgio Moroder springs to mind straight away. When he produced Blondie’s “Call me” he had a good group and a good song to work with, so perhaps he was usually just lucky. It’s also telling that there was something of a ‘60s revival in the early ‘80s, as well as this era being the aftermath of Punk. So what you got, quite often, was a bizarre combination of classic pop sensibility, to get clichéd, with often shockingly inappropriate and experimental electronics. Continue reading

Same Old New Musical Express? Happy 60th birthday to a pop cultural print legend.

26 Sep

The NME is 60 years old. Having recently experienced further dips in readership numbers and increasingly concentrating on ‘heritage’ acts as much as new talent (Lennon, Bowie, Blondie  The Ramones and The Sex Pistols have all featured on the cover in the last 12 months), the magazine has been struggling to remain relevant and vital and also to support the ‘New’ of the title.

As the new issue reveals, with a host of old faces talking about their experience of the magazine, it is a seminal British music paper (and has survived, where its old rival Melody Maker has not). With the glossy music magazines like Q also losing sales, it will be interesting how the NME continues to evolve. Written in 2003 for another web site, here are my views from those nine years ago on the magazine’s then state of affairs (in my humble opinion). Has much changed?. Continue reading

The 1988 Top Forty- Girls on Top.

14 Apr

Girls on Top!

Best NOW ever. Maybe.

There are few summers as hot and as fuelled by Pop as those very few, special ones from years gone by. One such summer I remember was 1995, the other was 1988.

I’ll come back to 1995 another day as discussion of 1988 complements my current penchant for ‘80s memories very nicely, thank you very much. The hits of the late ‘80s had a refreshingly sunny disposition about them. On further thought, I have to admit some of them seem more vacant and uncreative than anything released in the early part of that decade. Most of them seemed to feature horrible tinny drum machines. Not to mention plenty of film samples of people shouting “Aye-Yeahhh!!!” and “This is a journey into sound…S-s-s-s-terophonic sound!”

After 18 months certain trends can really get on your wick, I can tell you.

The late 80s TOTP logo- an assault on the eyes.

I always think of 1988 being the year when the single started to die. By the end of 1989 New Kids on the block managed a number one hit on the least copies since the chart began. In 1991 Iron Maiden made another dubious record by spending the last weeks on the chart with a number one single. But then again, that was due to Maiden’s  loyal (but finite) fan base pushing them up there in the first place, creating the 5 week chart wonder that was Bring your daughter (to the slaughter).

But in 1988 the single still ruled, but the signs were there that big changes were afoot. The bands that had held the charts in their grip had let go by then. The boys were struggling. Duran Duran did have a top twenty album and single later that year, but it felt like an anomaly that already had the feeling of a first revival. A-ha, who had been massive from ’85-‘87, were producing sub-standard cheese like Touchy. Wham! had disbanded in 1986 and by ’88 George Michael was making records that were probably more worthy but generally not as fun. Speaking of Iron Maiden, they scored one of their biggest hits in 1988 (Can I play with madness), followed by two more top ten hits. They were like a ridiculous Dungeons & Dragons soundtrack, and that’s no insult. They were loud, bombastic fun, and its brilliant that a piece of heavy metal brilliance could share chart space with Brother Beyond…if you don’t remember them, for your own good, don’t try too hard. Please, don’t!

If you remember 88, youll remember being sick of the sight of these two.

The big difference about the charts in 1988 was that they were overrun with teenage girls. Remember them? In the absence of Madonna (in her first full year of chart sabattical) the kids took over- Neighbours era Kylie, Vanessa Paradis, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, to be followed by Sonia the next year. Also, Bananarama were having a reversal of fortune, Patsy Kensit was in the top ten with her ‘band’ Eighth Wonder, and Sinitta was still around. This was the time of contrived, conveyer belt pop. You always have that to a degree, but The X-Factor has nothing on these guys. The main ingredients were pretty girls and catchy tunes, with the difference in ’88 being that few of the girls were over the age of 20. There were exceptions of course. Belinda Carlisle was a lot older, and a lot sexier, had better tunes than most, and in the absence of Madonna had very little competition in the woman stakes (even Carol Decker’s band T’pau struggled chartwise in ’88). Also, Tracey and Melissa from Voice of the Beehive were both in their 20s, and fronting a real band with real intruments and  displaying influences that suggested they might actually have a record collection at home. Infact being blonde and in front of several blokes with guitars was a sure fire way to get into the charts in ’88, if you were not a teenage pop puppet. Think of the Blondie template and you get the idea. Enter Transvision Vamp (with the gobby Wendy James), The Primitives and The Darling Buds (probably in that order of chart success). At any other time they would have struggled to have made a dent anywhere but the Indie charts and the NME, so this was a welcome change. Wendy James’ very public spats with Kylie Minogue livened up many a page of the teen music press that year. What was a bonus is that the three bands actually made good jingly jangly indie pop, with the exception of Transvision Vamp, who had pretentions of being a bit punk. They couldn’t pull it off though; they were as in it for the chart positions as anyone else and this wasn’t 1977, so saying you loved The Sex Pistols and The Clash meant little to the average 14 year old. But a year after The Smiths disbanded, the charts still needed some creative substance. Thankfully, Morrissey’s first few solo hits kept the fans from lamenting the band’s loss too much. NME said Suedehead was the best No.1 of 1988 that never was (in the event it made No.5, higher than any Smiths single). Eitherway, it found its way onto the playlist of discos at universities and polytechnics across the land.

Pop masquarading as punk, but it was great.

Morrissey gets used to being a bona fide top ten pop star.

Also, as far as discussion of girls was concerned, we can count Bros and Big Fun in there as well, as they certainly sang like girls. Rick Astley, on the other hand, had a deep voice, so I suppose we be sure he was all Man, even if his material was still sugary pap. The factory producing this sweet, aural toffee was that of Stock, Aitken and Waterman, who produced much of the hit quotient that year. From 1987-89 it was like SAW were the milk chocolate covering the nougat filling of the top 40. Something over sweet like that, anyway.

Rick Astley and Derek B (remember him?!)

But niave looking pretty girls and boys were not the only thing going on at the time. There was also Sabrina, who certainly wasn’t niave and had a huge gravity defeying bosum that put the Smash Hits centrefold in danger of looking like underage porn. But I digress! 1988 is also often referred to as “The second Summer of Love”. For those completely ignorant of pop culture, this is a reference to 1967 when certain people took to wearing flowers in their hair, getting into Indian music and wearing kaftans. Some of them actually enjoyed doing this. I read that somewhere.

Those bring back memories.

Anyway, the connection between the two years was illicit drugs, albeit two notably different substances. To a then 14 year old, none of this would impact (personally) for another two or three years. But the seeds of the early ‘90s dance music scene were sown in the late ‘80s; and the drug known as ‘E’ became as synonymous with it as LSD had been with the hippies of the ‘60s.

In some ways the late ‘80s seem more synthetic than anything from the first half of the decade, and no drug ever seemed so synthetic than “E”. Yet for all this talk of drugs and the club scene, the change in the charts was more subtle. Foam parties may have been going on in Manchester but for most the city was the same as ever. But underground, beneath the SAW chocolate factory, a new revolution was starting and the heat of “Acid house” slowly began to melt their chart domination. By 1991 dance music normally heard in the clubs was rife in the charts, and SAW’s grip on the top ten had ended. Things had come a long way since the emergence of House music in the mid ‘80s.

Fac 51 Hacienda- a good night out in 88, but not if you were 14. I might have got in otherwise.

In the charts, during the summer of 1988, there were several hints of this sun soaked hedonism going on in Ibiza. Mark Moore’s S-Express scored a no.1 with The theme from… which was full of retrospective leanings. This marked the first sign that the 1970s were going to be troubling us again, but was quite welcome for my generation. Nostalgia sells. Bill Drummond’s outfit, which would soon become The KLF, materialised (pun intended) as The Timelords, who blatantly sampled the Doctor Who theme tune and got it to No.1. Ironic, as at the time the actual TV series couldn’t even get arrested. D-Mob and Salt n’ Pepa also were making ridiculous noises in a slightly fashionable way, but by the autumn even the rappers were back to being fairly uncontrovertial, for a while at least. The Wee papa girl rappers were certainly not Public Enemy. A new mainstream hope did appear though, in the shape of the wonderful Neneh Cherry.

I don’t really have a point to reminising about 1988, apart from to say the memories are fairly vivid and so was the music. Most of the chart fodder was so cheesy, I’m surprised the NOW compilation covers don’t have holes in them.

Yet most of it is quite charming and always cheery. But most of it would drive you insane if you had to endure it, Chinese water torture style. Still, it’s a time when pop had found a magic formula and felt no reason to cast any other spell. So what if they all sounded the same? When the boys had been relugated to second place, it was the girls that were on top.

I think a lot of people quite liked that.

Before Liam, before "Holby City" and "Emmerdale"...she was on my wall.


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Catalyst Con East: An Event Review (Of Sorts)

This past weekend, I attended Catalyst Con East, a sex and sexuality event in Northern Virginia. I was very excited, having been recruited to speak on a panel about Transgender Sex and Sexuality, a topic I don’t ordinarily present on (except as a side topic when teaching other things).

I was flabbergasted (in a good way) at the quality of the sessions offered; I opted out of the pre-conference workshops because a) One less night at the hotel and b) they were an additional charge. But there were nationally known presenters and educators – Tristan Taormino, Charlie Glickman, Carol Queen, Cunning Minx, and more – teaching on some incredibly important and interesting subjects. I was very disappointed that the session I was speaking in conflicted with both the panel on Body Size/Fat and Sexuality, and the one on Sex and Disability. But it’s common, when attending events, to find several scheduled for the same time slot and being forced to choose.

Rave and I arrived early Saturday morning, to register and be on time to attend Rev. Rebecca Turner’s session, “Spiritual Sexuality: Ending the War Between Religion And Sex”. Long time readers of Sex, Gods, and Rock Stars will obviously know why I was so keen to attend. I share with you her session’s description, quoted from the website:

Opposition to same-sex relationships, sex without marriage, contraception, and abortion all fuel the so-called “Values Votes” in national elections. Research shows that the most religious people in America are the least likely to engage in “non-coital” sex. Do religion and sex have to be at war? Which faith teachings support fulfilling sexual lives? Can sex be a spiritual exercise? Can religious faith support women during an abortion? We will address the intersections of faith, gender, and sexuality in American culture. Participants will be encouraged to construct their own spiritual understanding of healthy sexuality and to create sex-positive spiritual messages to use in activism.

So there were undertones that she might be speaking more about Christianity’s views on sex and religion, but it was never stated outright. In fact, I (and others, as I later learned) was expecting her to speak to the fact that not all religions see sex as unholy thing. But unfortunately, Rev. Turner’s point of view was squarely from her own experiences as a Southern Baptist, and then United Church of Christ, minister. I almost sorta wished Galina were there, as it might have been at least more entertaining, knowing Galina’s thoughts on how monotheism has destroyed our culture (not that I agree with her entirely, but it would have been fun to watch.) I made sure, in the beginning, when she asked why were attending, to point out that I often represent minority religions (not just Paganism, either) in places where “spirituality” was discussed. I could write tomes about how this session ended up being both problematic and inaccurate, but lets just leave it as I was sorely disappointed. Luckily, I had high hopes that the other sessions I planned to attend would be more inclusive and interesting.

And I was right. I attended Darcy Allder and Quetzal Francois’s session called “Making Comprehensive Sex Education into Inclusive Sex Education”. Although it was definitely focused on sex education for school-aged children and teenagers, since I am starting to branch out into teaching teenagers about LGBTQI stuff, I found stuff that was both applicable for that as well as in my work teaching adults about kinky sex. They were incredibly engaging and interesting speakers, and I ended up having lunch with them on Sunday to try to come up with information they could use when addressing disabled and overweight kids in regards to their sexuality. (I hope I helped in some way, although I felt like I was floundering a lot.) The very best thing I heard from them was a way to discuss trans-ness without using the word “trans”, like “If your penis is pole-shaped, you can use a condom, if your penis is more flat or closer to your body, you can use a dental dam or saran wrap.” That way, if a FAAB child thinks of their clitoris as a penis, they are still getting safer sex education without having to think of themselves as transgender, or without having to name as such in order to get it. I think, in general, that was the eye opener for me, and something I will definitely try to use more – language that is inclusive of trans* experience/anatomy, without necessarily calling it such. I may even come up with a class on that all on its own for future events. The other thing they talked about that I wanted to share was how to avoid personal disclosure when teaching about sex – like when someone asks “Are you a boy or a girl” or “Well, do *you* do it that way?” – by coming up with a pat answer that drives them back to the subject at hand. Also, the use of the terms “Some”, “Many” and “Most” when describing sexual stuff that is common or uncommon – that way, you avoid saying “Nobody does it that way” or “Everyone enjoys sexual stimulation”, which can distance people who do or don’t feel the same. I love it when someone sparks that sort of thinking in me. Much redemption after the disappointing first session.

After that, I attended Charlie Glickman’s session, “How to Be a Top Presenter”. And he specifically used the word “Top”, as in “one who runs the scene”, because he sees teaching sexuality to a group of adults as “topping them” – providing a safe space for them to go from point A to point B. It gave me some reminders of educational tools I used to use more often, that have fallen by the wayside; mostly, making sure to create a “container” for the class – setting group agreements, talking about confidentiality, and articulating goals for the class. And he even called me on my excuse – that it takes time away from the actual subject matter – but he reminded me that if people are too nervous to learn/share/experiment, then more material won’t help them any. After years of fighting the idea of using Power Point in my classes, he finally won me over; so I’m going to start experimenting with it in some of my upcoming gigs. I took copious notes, and am finally excited to revisit some of my more popular classes and see how I can revamp them to make them even better.

I took a break for most of the rest of the afternoon, having gotten up very early and not having a lot of sleep the night before. I did catch lunch with my friend Mako, and got to meet some of the other people who have been on his podcast, which was a lot of fun. (Also, seeing Rave try tapas for the first time. She is so sheltered when it comes to food!)

That night, we attempted to attend the “Sexy Soiree”, but it was in a very small room and we couldn’t maneuver around at all. I am very unused to being a wallflower at parties, but it was really the only place where the chair would fit without being in everyone’s way. So we opted to go down to Sexy Bingo, which was not at all what I expected – I assumed it would be yet another awkward ice breaker where you had to walk up to people in order to fill out your card. No Siree! This was a raucous, actual Bingo Game with cards and beans and prizes! It was hosted by Ducky Doolittle, who was just the right mix of sexy, silly, and engaging; and the rep from Sportsheets kept coming in with more and more prizes. I came away with a lovely purple silicone cock ring. Now I just need to find someone to use it with!

Sunday was full of great stuff, too. I was late to Reid Mihalko‘s talk about how to make money as a sex educator and presenter, but I was still able to get some stellar ideas. I also had a huge revelation in his class – the way to make money as a presenter does not lie in asking events to pay more money for your classes! Reid’s mantra throughout the class was “The information I am giving away is priceless!” Instead, he filled my head with a million ideas on how to monetize my work, both as a shaman and as a sex educator. You’ll very likely see a lot of these ideas manifest here on Sex, Gods, and Rock Stars in the future, so I won’t ruin the surprise! He even gave me really good advice personally, on how to stand out in a glutted field; I have frequently bemoaned that although many people see me as an expert on Needle and Blood Play, I am never, ever asked to teach these subjects; there are just too many people doing so, and I have so many other classes to choose from, events tend to choose people who have less diversity to teach them. But that shouldn’t be the reason you choose someone to teach something as dangerous and complicated as blood play; you should be choosing people based on their ability. So I have some work to do to make sure more event organizers and programming director understand this and start booking me for those classes as much as any other.

The next session I attended, I wasn’t so sure about. I almost chose it just because nothing else in the slot looked interesting or applied directly to what I do, but in the end I’m really glad I went. It was called, “What’s So Special About Sex?”, led by Ava Mir-Ausziehen. Her thesis was basically that if we, as sex educators, make sex out to be a “special” thing, and not a mundane, human activity, it has some harmful consequences. I thought it was a daring tack to take at such an event, and it turns out that’s why she wrote it. We talked about how treating sex as “special” affects obscenity laws, sex workers, and even just the perception of those who have fulfilling sex lives. I added some comments about how sex is listed on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a “physiological need” – something as important as clothing, shelter, and food; but many homeless shelters and other resources for the poor and disadvantaged see sex as something nice to have – many shelters ban sexual activity altogether, and homeless and other street residents rarely have private places to engage in sexual activity, and anything done in public is subject to decency laws. The session also discussed how if we see sexual proclivities (such as homosexuality and non-monogamy) as biological, we’re saying that they are less than human, but animalistic drives we cannot ignore, which may work against us, and not for us, in legal and moral acceptance. (It makes things like monogamy seem like a civilized way of being, and homosexuality as something that can be overcome, similar to other bestial behavior, such as murder). It was like a palate refresher, to be having this discussion at a sexuality event.

Finally, it was time for the panel of which I was a part. Moderated by Harper Jean Tobin, and featuring Yosenio Lewis (who I’ve meant to meet for a while), Avory Faucette, Tobi Hill-Meyer, and myself. I was happy to see a good distribution of trans*masculine and trans*feminine people, as well as third-gendered and non-op trans* people. I think a lot of good things were said and shared, and it met the mark of not being a “This is Trans* 101” class. I quoted my friend Aiden’s now-infamous pick up line, “Whatever you’ve got, I’ll suck it”, which went viral on Twitter as soon as I said it, as well as my terminology “factory installed” vs. “after market”. I also declared myself the Trans* Pope, as I now have a habit of declaring myself the Pope of things to make declarations. It was a fun panel that spoke to a myriad of topics including medical professionals, women’s and men’s only spaces, terminology, and even a short demonstration by Tobi on how to make a “cape” – a barrier for people for whom condoms are too large/long, but dental dams are too unwieldy. I will be spreading this far and wide, as well.

It was finally time to go home; there was a closing plenary and “afternoon tea”, but I was pretty beat (as was Rave) so we opted to have lunch with some new friends and then tottle towards Hagerstown. Overall, I was very enthused and excited by much that happened at Catalyst Con, both in the sessions and outside of them. I had a talk with a psychiatrist from CA about setting up Skype classes to teach mental health professionals about how to treat transgender patients without pathologizing (or focusing on) their transgender status; I also spoke with more than a few people about future teaching gigs; and I got more than one come-on. Overall, a splendid way to spend a weekend.

The one last thing I wanted to comment on: it was really nice to go to a sex and sexuality event that was not focused on “how to” or instructional classes. I really feel that our local area is glutted with events that focus on that sort of thing, and sorely in need of more educational conferences that talk about sex and sexuality related topics from an academic or intellectual place. Not only did it give a much needed range of new and interesting topics to choose from, but the atmosphere was much less sexually-charged (although it had its moments), and was much less threatening from a standpoint of feeling overwhelmed by the sexual energy and possible expectations from other attendees. I mean, this was held in a hotel at the same time as some sort of Muslim event, and nary a problem was had (that I’m aware of, at least). It was nice to have programming end before midnight, with no pressure to appear or perform in a public play space that evening. I wonder if some of the local sex events that are lagging in attendance might not try adding some of these sorts of sessions and reducing the amount of instructional and hands-on workshops, and see if they can’t pull in a different set of attendees. I would also suggest that events who are trying to cater to newbies, think about the same thing.

I would highly, highly recommend future Catalyst Cons (which happen on both the East and West Coasts) to fellow sex and kink educators, sex geeks, and academics who are studying sex or sexuality in all its forms. It might be a little too “thinky thinky” for your average kinkster, but if you like geeking out about sex and things related, you would love this event.


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Bride and Groom Fly Off the Back of Getaway Car in Crazy Video

Sarah Carty
GIF: YouTube/Yahoo Style

A bride and groom attempting to drive off to their happily ever after instead fell flat on their backs — literally.

At the close of their wedding, bride Hana Haka Noland and her new husband Tyler Noland perched on the back seats of a convertible and waved goodbye to their guests. But as the car pulled away, the newlyweds go flying out the back.

Hana, before the vehicle took off, is seen throwing her hands in the air and can be heard screaming at the driver, “Leggo Dave!”

It takes a few moments for the whole thing to register with the guests, who seem to stand among the pair in total disbelief.

Neither the bride nor groom were hurt and flew away on their honeymoon the next day — with both of them now finding the situation, entirely caught on video, absolutely hilarious.

“Now that it’s been a few weeks, we can look back at this and laugh,” Hana wrote on Facebook. “After all, if you can’t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? Thankfully no one was hurt and we love Dave so much.” She added the hashtags #LEGGODAVE #HowNotToExitAWedding #StillTheBestWeddingEver #FastForwardOneMinute #FeelFreeToShare #AlwaysWreckinEm.

Since being shared on YouTube, the footage has racked up about half a million views.

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value investing

Just entered Paypal at 39.5

Just entered a long position on paypal @ 39.5

Reason: I like paypal, i use paypal. Great brand, Huge growth space in the mobile industry. Plus now it is near its support. More over most businesses use paypal checkout.

Risk: Strong competitors like master card and visa trying to dominate the online payment industry.

Current TP is 42 but will exit earlier or later depends on fundamental.

Sorry chart too big for my website, try open in new tab

Do you love money?

Hi, all. You guys can call me Ah King. My English is not very good so pardon my writing.

I started this blog because I love money. Leave this website now if you don’t love money as this blog is all about $$$$. Anyway i am not selling any services or products, i am just trying to record my trading journey on this blog.

On this blog I will be sharing my US stocks investment portfolio and how I slowly profit my way to retirement. Feel free to comment on any of my post, no one is perfect, so please share you views so we all can learn together.

I started investing in March 2016, currently, I am in the green, around $27K SGD profits, you can take a look at my current winning portfolio here.