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The Father, Son & Holy Ghost…

I’m 56 now and have been for the past four months.  Seems like it was just the other day that I turned 55 and crossed the threshold into Senior Citizen Discounts and free coffee at McDonald’s.  These past couple of years I’ve noticed my memory slipping here and there and I will pause when it happens and remind myself that it’s not Alzheimer’s if I can’t find my keys – it’s when I don’t know what the keys do that I really have to worry.  That will appease me for a few moments and then I’ll go back to being pissed off because I still can’t find my damn car keys.

And it’s not only the car keys I struggle with.  Yes, over the past few years I’ve found the butter hidden discretely in the freezer, the aluminum foil tucked neatly in the vegetable bin, and the dog food in the bird food tote.  I call breakfast dinner and dinner lunch and I can’t seem to say the day of the week out loud without it sounding like a word mashup game.  The red hairs that once graced my head are too tired to keep producing color; now they just come in white and say the hell with it.  I don’t blame them.  I tried to walk around the block last week and almost had to take a nap half way around.

But I digress…

Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, my memory loss.

But just when I think things are starting to get out of control and perhaps I should go talk to a doctor about the fact that I couldn’t remember where I parked my car at the mall last week after two hours of hapless shopping, I hear a song come on the radio from 35 years ago and, before I know it, I am singing my heart out – every word easily rolling off the tip of my tongue and every note perfectly remembered.  Yes, I might not recall whether I wore my black pants to work yet this week but let me here Don McClean singing “American Pie” and not only can I recite every syllable to perfection but I can name the bar I danced on with my three best friends while that song played on the jukebox and I can even tell you who had to drive us home that same night because none of us were fit to be on the road.

God, I miss those days…

But, if I had to choose (and, apparently, I do) then I’ll take being able to remember all those wonderful, fun, laugh-out-loud moments of my youth – along with 40 years of music, concerts and wanting my MTV over whether or not I can find the butter when I need it.  The Father, Son & Holy Ghost might have caught the last train for the coast but I’m still here in the house I grew up in, rocking it out on a Wednesday night.  At least for a little while longer.  Got to get to bed by 9 or there will be hell to pay in the morning!

The Long Goodbye

Four months after my mother’s passing, we finally held her memorial service.

Yesterday was a very long and hard day but we all made it through to the end. It had some highs such as seeing the friends of my parents from when I had been a child – many of whom I haven’t seen in a good 30 years but I still knew them when I saw them. The funniest thing to me was how I was now taller than all of them – even the ones I remembered as being such tall men and women.  (I guess I grew a few inches and they shrank a few?)  The day also had some lows such as hearing my father eulogize my mother’s life, his voice shaky and cracking at times.  I found if I looked down at my purse instead of directly at my dad I could listen to his words instead of his heart and that helped me make it through without totally falling apart.

My father will soon be traveling to David, California to have yet another service for my mom where the friends who knew her for the past 30 years can say their goodbyes. I am glad I cannot make that trip; it was hard enough to hear him eulogize my mom the first time around.

The bonus to my weekend was that I got to see my nephew – so much like my brother, Johnny, that it was like getting to spend time with him again. He has my brother’s mannerisms and most of his personality, although he is his own distinct and wonderful person.  My heart lifted and lit up from the inside every time I saw his face.  It went a long way to easing the grief over my mom and brother.

Thank you to all of you for the strength and prayers yesterday. Several of us went down to the Kauffman Garden after the service and spent an hour walking among the flowers – my mom loved it there. Hundreds of tulips were open and dancing in the breeze and it left us all feeling renewed.

Last night we celebrated her life at 54th Street Grill and Bar – something that has become a new family tradition. I thank those who contributed to the gift certificate that helped pay for our meal – it was a beautiful and thoughtful thing to do.  Our friends and family took up most of their tables but we did our best to run up a decent tab to make up for it.

Today, we woke early to have breakfast together before putting my Uncle back on a plane and sending my sister back to St. Louis.  My nephew and sister-in-law took off very early to drive back to their home in Houston as well.  I came home and went back to bed, will do a little laundry this afternoon, and then plan to take it easy the rest of the day. Monday, I will put my best foot forward and “keep on keepin’ on” – just as my mom did every day of her life.

If there is one thing I have learned from all these years of photographing nature, it is that no matter what (or who) dies away, evidence of their being here on earth is always present in the new life that continues to flourish. I will do my best to represent my mother’s life on this world in the days, weeks, and years to come.

We will remember her often and miss her deeply.

Kansas City’s Own Garden of Eden

I first found the garden in the fall of 2012.  I had been photographing the same old places for five years and was looking to add some new destinations that were close to home to my rotation of places to photograph.  I happened to come across a write up about the garden online one day and decided to go looking for it that next weekend.

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Many of the people I know who have lived in Kansas City most (or all) of their lives don’t even know it exists. When I mention that it is only two blocks south of the Nelson-Atkins Museum and directly across from the Kauffman Conference Center they look at me with a puzzled expression.  “It’s on Rockhill Road, you say?  Between the Nelson and UMKC?  But I’ve driven by there a hundred times and I’ve never seen a garden there.”

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If you were in a hurry, you could probably walk through the entire place in 10 minutes – but I’ve never managed to get out of the garden in under three hours.  Everywhere you turn, there’s something new growing for you to look at, study (and photograph).  It’s not nearly as large as it’s counterpart, Powell Gardens, but then it’s not a 45 minute drive to get there, either.  I can be out of my home in the Northland area and be pulling into the garden’s driveway in 15 minutes.

And, although I love walking through the garden at any time of year, spring is THE time to visit.  Between the thousands of tulips, daffodils, hyacinths, and pansies stand two rows of flowering Crabapple trees that will literally take your breath away when you first see/smell them.  It is an intoxicating place to sit and just “be” for a while.

Once you’ve seen the garden in the spring, you’ll be back to see what the other seasons hold as well – everything from lilacs, hydrangeas, roses, clematis, magnolias, flowering quince and dahlias…it is an endless parade of what grows well in Kansas City.

And every time I make the trip there I walk out feeling renewed, refreshed and at peace.  To some, it is just a garden, but to me – it’s become a sanctuary.

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When life deals the hard blows or work becomes overwhelming, I know its time to pull out the camera bag and head south to the Kauffman Garden on an early Saturday morning.

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If I get there early enough, I’ll have the whole place to myself (well, except for the feline protector of the garden – she’s always there to greet me when I come.)

If you live in the greater Kansas City area, stop in for a peek sometime.  There’s never a bad time to be there. If you go in the next week or so you’ll get the added bonus of seeing the Crabapple trees in bloom beneath the clear blue Kansas City sky.

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(Now don’t you feel better already?)

The Ewing and Muriel Kauffman Memorial Garden is located at 4800 Rockhill Road, Kansas City, MO 64110 and is open every morning at 8 am year round.  Although professional photo sessions are no longer allowed, you are always welcome to photograph the beauty of the garden.

Whether you take your camera or not, you’re sure to walk away with a special place in your heart for this wonderful attraction that lies in the heart of Kansas City.

The Tipping Point

We are right in the middle of a soft, spring rain.  There’s no thunder, no lightning; only a soft sprinkling of water drops pinging off the still-bare branches and the glass windows of my home.  It’s been raining since late last night and the ground is now dark and moist, giving way to the push of the heel as my shoes try to gingerly walk atop it.  I hurry the dogs to take care of their business, worried that my hair will turn to frizz if they take too long.

Despite the gentle rain, the birds are flocking to the feeders this morning.  (Apparently, there’s no sleeping in when free food is at hand.)  Tonight we will set our clocks ahead an hour for Daylight Savings Time even though nobody can ever remember why it is we still do this.  It’s so silly, really, that it should take an act of congress to end this ridiculous tradition.  The birds have never reset their clocks and they seem to be getting along just fine.

The first of the blossoming trees began to show their stuff this week.  I noticed a Saucer Magnolia tree and an overgrown Pussy Willow bush both making their initial push to explode in the prolonged and deepening sunshine this week.  Temperatures rose into the 60’s and 70’s and stayed there; a sure sign that everything on this portion of our planet will be awakening to spring’s call for an incredible floor show and the participants will be all too happy to show us what they’ve got.  The Forsythia and Quince bushes, Bradford Pear and Flowering Crabapple trees, daffodils and crocuses will get things rolling.  Then the lilac bushes, Dogwood trees, and tulips will crowd them out, taking first place in the second act of spring.  In my mind, I imagine heaven being spring and autumn all at once: everything in bloom, everything showing its best and brightest colors, every day starting and finishing at the perfect temperature.  And then, as we lay our heads down to rest, it will rain exactly like it’s raining this morning – gently, leisurely, without force or fear.

It won’t be long and the grass will need to be mowed, the garden soil turned, the lawn furniture returned to the shady side of the deck.  There are many afternoons ahead where I will sit outside, cold drink in hand, spying on my avian friends as they come down from the surrounding trees for a nut-based treat.

We all make choices in life; these choices are mine: to breath in every moment, to see it for what it is, to experience it and remember it and let it soak into who I am.  Spring’s tipping point happened last night while I was sleeping and today I wait for the rain to stop and the show to begin.

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Some For All

I gathered this spring’s first batch of daffodils yesterday. Five little blossoms – one open, four still cocooned away inside their protective covering – all living beneath my bedroom window on the south side of my house. This group is always the first to emerge each year as they are in a prime position to soak in the late afternoon sun, yet stay protected from the worst of the seasonal winds. In other words, they got it good.

The other group – the ones that run along the fence on the east side of the front yard – they’ll be along in another week or two, flashing their sunshine smiles at the passing cars as they bask and bathe in the morning sun. This patch that runs the length of my 40’ side fence will be seen by many; whereas the first batch of five will be seen and enjoyed only by me.

In our society we often equate “more” with “better”. The more you own, the more you’re worth. The more you sell, the more you have. It’s created a society that honors “more for one” over “some for all”.

My whole life I’ve been a “sharer”. If I get, I give. If I receive, I pass it on. I keep a portion for myself and then find a way to bless someone else with what I’ve been given. I do it with flowers, with money, with food, with my photographs – I basically do it with everything. It is an inherent part of my genetic makeup that I was reminded of when I took an autumn leaf into my mother while she was in the hospital this past fall. I handed her a beautiful oak leaf and she looked at my dad and said, “Look, Jack…she’s still bringing us leaves.” She then recounted how I couldn’t be outside for long as a child without running up to hand her a flower, a leaf, a rock, or a caterpillar. I delighted in the outdoors as a child and I wanted everyone to see – and share – in the items I delighted in.

So it’s no wonder that when I picked up a camera ten years ago that I would eventually decide to photograph nature and then give away my prints for free. You like this one? Please, take it. Have it framed. Smile when you walk by it every day. It brings me joy to bring you joy.

“More for one” is a fine concept – it rewards the doers of the world for doing what they do – and that’s all well and good. I’m glad to have that tiny bouquet of daffodils sitting on my kitchen counter this morning, staring back at me as I prepare a pan of lasagna to take over to my father later today. Those five blossoms will bring me great joy as I reflect on the coming spring this morning. But it’s the 40 feet of daffodils that are still a week or two away that will really light my heart up because I’ll know that every car that passes by, every person that walks my street, every mother that pushes her newborn in a stroller – they will all pause and think “Isn’t that a joy to see!”

Some people delight in the richness that comes from money. I choose, instead, to delight in the richness that comes from passing on a little joy to others. At 56, it seems a little too late to change that now…but what about you?

The Funniest Moments List

A couple of years ago I had a really bad day – REALLY BAD.  Nothing like a car wreck or a death in the family – but one of those days where I didn’t get enough sleep the night before, then the car was basically out of gas when I went to leave, I made silly mistakes all day at work, and on and on and on.  By the middle of the day I was sitting in my cubicle surrounded by all my male counterparts, trying desperately not to bust out in tears and trying to convince myself that things would turn around by the end of the day.  I went to lunch, came back and hunkered down on a project, and that’s when the day really went to hell.  By the time I was heading home, I wanted nothing more than to go straight to bed and never come out again.  And then I had an idea…

I sat down at my home computer and I began writing down all the funny things that had happened to me over the years – things that involved me, my siblings, and my friends.  As long as the memory made me laugh, it got paraphrased onto my Word doc.  I called my friend, Maureen, a day or two later and was telling her about the list and how it had cheered me up and she began to ask, “Did you put down the time we…?”  and I realized I had only scratched the surface of my “Funniest Moments” list.  One memory led to another memory which led to another memory, and soon I had a list of over 100 of the most laughable moments of my life down on paper.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at that list over the last couple of years.  It continues to grow as memories surface (or new memories are, um, “created”).  It was during the end of my grieving for my brother that I decided it would help to start a blog and write all of those memories down so others could share in the laughter, but that’s also about the time my mother became terminally ill and then died, so the blog started out with a little different “flavor” to it.  Short / Cuts was meant to be a repository of laughable moments from my life but then I realized every moment is worth remembering, no matter how high the highs or how low the lows.

Anyway, today I am going to take a look back for the very first time at the funnier moments in my life – things that made me spit Diet Coke out my nose or turn my cheeks shades of red – or both.  And I’ve decided to start with a short story from my first trip to The Grand Bahahas and the very first time I was ever in an ocean.

I had won a 4 Day/ 3 Night trip to the Bahamas through a contest at work and elected to take my best friend with me.  Maureen had grown up in New Jersey so she had been in ocean water before (although I highly doubt it was as crystal clear as what they have down in the Bahamas.)  I, however, had never experienced setting foot in anything other than a big lake.  This was going to be a first for me and, although, I was very excited about it, I was also a bit frightened.

As we began to take our first steps into the ocean Maureen pointed out to me that the water would pull us forward and then kind of sweep us back – that it was the pull of the current and not to fight against it but just go with it.  So I stepped into the pristine water and took a few steps out.  I had water up to my waist when I decided to go ahead and swim on in.  The water was the perfect temperature and it was an amazing experience.  Even if you accidentally got a mouthful of water it tasted like salt water you might use to gargle with instead of the lake water I ingested way too many times as a young water skier at the Lake of the Ozarks.

I wasn’t very far out but the bottom of the ocean floor was several feet below me.  I looked down and saw something move in the sand and I hollered over to Maureen.  “Any idea what that thing is that’s moving down there?”  She took a look and replied, “Oh, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.”  So we – and several other hundred people – kept on swimming.  I couldn’t quite get my mind off the object that had drawn my attention, though and I kept peering at it to see if I could make it out better.  It was right at the edge of where the ocean dropped off so the water was a deep blue and the sun was bouncing around on the surface of the water, making it hard to figure out exactly what it was.  But, at some point, we both decided it had to be a sea creature of some sizable girth that probably had razor-sharp teeth that would saw us in half if given the chance and we broke out in a desperate attempt to get out of the water post-haste.

Of course the closer I got to the water’s edge (and safety), the more the tide kept pulling me back out.  I was desperate at this point, sure I was about to be swallowed whole by JAWS, flailing around in the water and expending way too much energy trying to take a single step in the right direction.  Finally – FINALLY – I made it up onto the shore again and I turned to see if the monster I had viewed had swallowed my best friend in one big chomp when I saw her standing right where the offending creature had been spying on us, laughing her ass off.

“It’s a rock!” she hollered up towards me.

Apparently the sun moving on the surface of the water had made it appear to be a moving object and I, the rookie of the oceanfront, couldn’t figure that out, so I convinced myself that I was about to be dinner for some sea creature that preferred white meat.

“It’s only a rock!” she recounted, laughing as she calmly waded into shore through the current’s pull.  She walked out of the water like an old pro while I lay on the beach looking like a piece of sea kelp that had washed up on shore to die.

Over the next three days I spent plenty of time in the water between the hours of laying on the beach with a Bahama Mama drink in my hands and coconut butter on my skin, but I never again called attention to the questionable sea life floating around beneath me, ready to devour me in a single bite.  I decided it was better to be the latest casualty on the 6 o’clock news than to make that embarassing mistake again.

To Grieve or Not to Grieve

My parents would go to our local Barnes and Noble book store almost every Thursday to pick out a new book to read and then they’d go have lunch together.  It was no surprise to me to find a good hundred plus books all tucked away in the nooks and crannies of her sewing room after she died.  I came upon a stack of Anne Lamott books there and, having read “Traveling Mercies” years ago, I snagged the other Lamott books and threw them in my quickly-growing “take-home” pile of knick-knacks, quilts, and jewelry.

It’s been five weeks since mom passed –and four days after that was my birthday – one that I decided against celebrating.  Instead, I spent most of the day doing what Oprah used to refer to as “the ugly cry.”  Basically, this is when you can’t hold back your emotions no matter how hard you try.  Tears spontaneously bursts out of you while your face contorts and twists in unimaginably ugly ways, all the while your breath hitches and sputters like a backfiring old pickup truck.

In other words, I totally lost my shit that day.

But then the oddest thing happened.  After that day passed, I felt a huge load lift off me.  All the months of seeing mom deteriorate one day at a time right down to the last moments of her life – the stress surrounding all of that vaporized.  With them went the tension that was tightly woven into my being my mother’s daughter – that pull of never living up to her expectations or her dreams for what my life would be like.  I was supposed to be feeling overwhelming grief but, instead, I was feeling deep and abiding peace.

The more the peace settled in around me the more I began to wonder about it – was this denial (for which I’d pay dearly down the road)?  Was it my mind giving me a break after a solid year of grieving the loss of my brother?  Or, was this something else entirely?  Guilt began to push its way in – taunting me with its patronizing backlashes.  I wondered: should I feel this good this close to my mother’s death?  Am I the worst daughter ever?  What would people think if they knew I wasn’t devastated by all we’d just been through with her?  Something inside told me to keep going and to enjoy the peace while it lasted – and so I did.

I returned to work the following week and began reading “Grace, Eventually” during my lunch breaks.  I immediately remembered why I love Anne’s writing style so much: she’s truthful about the life she’s led (warts and all) and she uses the occasional word that even I have to go look up.  (I love an author that increases my vocabulary!)  Most of all, though, she writes in short snippets that I can easily digest but her words stay with me.  I think about what she writes long after I read it – and that’s my gauge for a good read.

I was most of the way through the book this week when I came upon a chapter titled, “Mom, Interrupted” and one paragraph into it I realized that this is one of those God moments where the entire universe lines up so you can know in your heart and mind that this whole “God thing” is not some giant fairy tale that is meant to appease those of us who find life too difficult to live at times.

Anne writes, “For a long time after her death I didn’t feel much of anything – except relief…”  She goes on to write, “I felt much more spaciousness in my life after my mother died, partly because my phone did not ring every several seconds….”  She goes on describing her mother – how she was a handful and how she was both imperious and had no self-esteem at the same time.  Her mother was “controlling, judgmental, withholding, needy, and desperate to be loved.”

A few pages later she writes, “It wasn’t until her death that my mother stopped exhausting me…Now, here it is three years later, and I am beginning to miss her.”

And there was my answer: the guilt about not feeling deep and ongoing grief over her death got up and skulked out of the room, and that peace I’d been experiencing in my heart slammed the door shut behind it. I was not the world’s worst daughter after all.  Anne Lamott said so.

I threw the book in my lunch bag that evening and was driving home when it suddenly dawned on me that it was my mother who had purchased that book.  She bought that book and left it on the shelf in her sewing room where it would be easily seen.  Then I, being the only one of her three remaining children interested in such things, picked it up and threw it in my sack of stuff to bring home, and then I read it.

In other words, because of something my mother did before her death, I was comforted by her one last time after her death.  Just thinking about that makes my face contort, my breath catch, and the tears start to flow.

Here I go again…

The Final Score

After a surprising three weeks of experiencing hardly any grief, I woke in the middle of the night and felt a sudden sadness overtake me. I cried softly for a short time and then turned to look up at the alarm clock overhead. It was a few minutes past midnight – officially making it a month since the day my mother died. “Ah…that’s why the middle-of-the-night crying jag blues,” I thought to myself.

I got out of bed, wiped my eyes, and drug my weary body down the hall. I stumbled into the kitchen, turned on my phone, clicked on the gallery, and there she was, in her final days on earth, a photo of her taken right before we moved her to hospice. I don’t know why I didn’t remember I had taken it until that very moment.

Suddenly, all the questions I had been wrestling with for the past month were put to rest. Looking at her in that photograph I knew we had done the right thing. The woman I saw in that image – that was no longer my mother. Her eyes were drawn up into tight little slits, almost as if her body knew her eyes were preparing to close for the very last time. Her face was ashen in color, and her cheeks slack jawed and deflated from having gone so long without food. I let my fingers trace her outline, turned off my phone, and said goodnight to the ghost of a woman hanging out in my memory.

I’ve lived long enough now to have more than a few deaths in my past. I’ve been down this road of grief enough times that it almost feels like a familiar trail I have walked on a cold and overcast day. The first time you experience loss and grief it can be so totally overwhelming. You wonder if you will ever feel like “you” again. The answer, of course, is no…you won’t. But, with time, you will feel a new sense of normal and you’ll find yourself petting your dog one day and you won’t see the faces of the dogs you loved before it looking back at you with those big, brown eyes. It is possible to move on – to live your life without those that mean the most to you. If death is the worst thing you ever experience in this lifetime then moving on after it happens is, perhaps, the biggest miracle.

Having lost both my mother and my brother in the past 15 months, I am beginning to understand death in a way I never did before. Having back-to-back losses really sucks you down into the muck but it also leaves you with clarity about life you couldn’t get any other way. I was telling my friend last week that I was surprised how I seem to remember only the best and the worst of the people I’ve lost; all the middle ground gets diffused into a mental fog that never clears. Occasionally a normal, everyday “nothing special” moment will float up to the forefront of my mind but, for the most part, it’s really the highs and lows that stand out. It reminds me of the refining fire they talk about in the Bible. Everything that meant nothing gets burned away and all that’s left is the most important part: what you did for others that came from a place of love and what you did to others that came out of a need to hate.

It’s a solemn thought, really: that I’ll be gone and those left behind will be tallying up those two columns, trying to decide if having known me was an asset or a hindrance to their lives. If that doesn’t make you take stock in who you are, I don’t really know what will.

Blue Skies

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Our city got a short reprieve from winter this weekend.  The winds shifted to the south and for three lovely days we had spring-like weather instead of the bone chilling cold we normally experience in late January.  It did a lot to lift my spirits and bring me out of the grief-funk of the past two weeks.

Despite the better weather and my elevated mood, my mind has been cycling through the last weeks of my mother’s life.  Did we do enough or give up too soon?  Was there something we missed that should have been seen?  Was there malpractice by one or more of the doctors?

And even though these thoughts keep creeping into my conscious mind, I know in my heart that it was her time to go.  All the would have/could have/should have’s don’t make a bit of difference in retrospect.  It’s over.  It’s done.  It’s time to move on.

So I shall swing my legs out of bed tomorrow morning, fully aware that the winds are predicted to swing back around and cover us in a blanket of winter weather again.  The blue skies will turn back to a sad, flat gray, the temperature will plummet back to the southern end of the thermometer and I…

I will cling to the memories of a winter weekend full of blue skies, warm breezes, and my mother’s smile.


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Your inner story equates your destiny

Mirrors of Encounters

Whatever happens, or doesn´t happen in your personal life-story is the outcome
of your inner story.

All events, all dramas, people you encounter, all relations, or absence of
meaningful relations,  mirror perfectly your inner state – your conditioning.

This inner conditioning of yours decide everything in the course of what you call
“personal experience”. Indeed, your inner conditioning equates your destiny!

With other words, this conglomerate of emotions, memories, traumas,
unfulfilled wishes, unresolved conflicts and expectations from your childhood

In most cases, your real I-ness has no chance against this powerful inertial dissonance. This vibrational disharmony is usually very powerful, it continues to perpetuate itself, yes, it lives “your” life, without you having a chance to assert yourself “against” it – as your real individuality is not sufficiently constellated.

If you were abused and maltreated in your childhood, if your father or…

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About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

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New Beauty Trend To Try: Self-Warming Products

Juline Hamilton

Are you in need of a little beauty therapy? Something to wake up your beauty routine, you know, get your circulation going?

Self-Warming Products are like a quickie pro treatment, heating up your boring beauty regimen!

Here are the real benefits: Heat will help other ingredients work quicker and more efficiently and heat can also encourage circulation, which will brings nutrients to the cells.

Here are my Self-Warming Product Picks:

Josie Maran Argan Hot Oil Self-Heating Hair TreatmentJosiesTips_Hot Oil1

With proven hair-whisperers like jojoba and bergamot oil, frizz and breakage dont stand a chance and vitamin-E-rich, 100% Pure Argan Oil, which penetrates each strand to make hair up to four times stronger with regular use. (No, really. They had a lab run tests.)

 Boscia Detoxifying Black Cleanser

s1393057-main-LheroA warming gel cleanser that deeply cleans and detoxifies, dissolving pore-clogging impurities like oil and makeup as it refines skin texture, brightens and…

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Tag Archives: Ryan Zuvich

Easy Pasta, tasty wine…what more could you need?

“There’s nothing to do here!” It’s pretty common refrain heard often at the end of summer…singing the ‘I’m so bored blues’. Hold the phone… I’m not talking about my kids…I keep hearing this from adult locals. Yes, fellow Nanaimo-ites. ‘Tis crazy talk as far as I’m concerned. I realize I’m a ‘newbie’ here in Nanaimo, but there is so much to see […]

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Time to head to the Hilltop…

Apparently I am a “food blogger”, I put it in quotes because it was never really my intention, it’s just how things evolved. My palate is fairly discerning. That is, I can pick flavours out of foods and usually recreate the basic stuff. I feel confident in my kitchen skills, let’s say intermediate level. I’ve […]

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Glorious Chanterelle Gnocchi

After having dinner at Hilltop Bistro, I was excitedly anticipating Ryan’s shared recipe. I wasn’t disappointed, my mouth started to water as soon as I read through the recipe. Then the drama started. I decided to make and photograph the gnocchi on a very busy day, well I guess around here that’s every day. At […]

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steps to the light

that perfect hand...

In Ocean's 11, Danny said that "the house always wins. If you play long enough, never change the stakes, then the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big... and then, you take the house." Here's the hand I've been dealt, sometimes it's risky and sometimes it's safe, but all the time... it's perfect. It's mine.


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Category Archives: Awards

February Already?!?

I want to thank Yvette over at Priorhouse Blog for the awesome billboard image she made just for me ❤

I can’t believe it is already February! February, really . . .

Each year that I celebrate another revolution around the sun, it seems that my revolutions get faster. And though I feel a bit like my ass is on the front-end of a rocket, I also feel as though I am on a slow free drift out in the middle of the ocean – no land to be seen, anywhere.

I can’t remember the last time I actually wore a watch – well yes, I can, it was 19 months ago. Often I have no idea where my day goes – it’s just gone. I wake up and then before I know it, it’s way past normal peoples’ bedtime.

Though I spend a large amount of time searching for a job, and working on other ways to make a living, I also spend a lot of time doing mindless/relaxing/time-suck activities – but they are activities I enjoy that when I worked I did not have time for.

Here’s a good for instance – I had planned to re-work my resume today, which may or may not need to be done. Instead I have spent a good part of the day catching up on a few of my fav blogs, though there are many more I want to get to!! [Okay by the time I finished this post, I did get my resume re-worked 🙂 ]

I have get to make three batches of apple butter this week, and blueberry jam, since blueberries are on sale at the grocery store and I have had many requests for that one. For some reason though, I am feeling quite lazy today . . . though I like a little winter, I have had enough. I feel for all y’all getting the brunt of this winter, mine is mild compared to yours.

I have started working on my posts about our food supply and how fucked up it is. Those are forthcoming. I keep writing myself into a corner in my novel – not sure what’s up with that! My blogs are all being neglected (yeah, I laughed out loud at that one!).

There’s a couple of very interesting jobs I have applied for in the last couple of weeks. I am so hoping to get an interview for at least one. Any extra prayers, good thoughts, finger-crosses, rabbit’s foot rubs, whatever I can get – I’ll take them!!

Loved the fight at the end of the Super Bowl game – what a shining example that was for the youth of our country 😉 (Yes, that was meant to be snarky!)

They keep saying unemployment is going down, but I know more and more people who are unemployed than I have ever known before, and sadly many are in the 50+ age group. Most of us aren’t being counted on the unemployment rolls anymore. I do live in an area where there have been many different industries laying off employees, and are continuing to do so.

Valentine’s Day is coming up and I bought each of my granddaughters a giant card. I was thrilled that they were $3 a piece and were Made In America 🙂 (which honestly is the only reason I bought them) AND I found them at Walmart of all places.

I also want to send a shout out and thank you to Doobster at Mindful Digressions for the honor of his nomination for the Premio Dardos award. According to Doobs, “Premio Dardos means “Prize Darts” in Spanish. It is an award given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing.” I haven’t named my 15 bloggers yet, as I have decided to add that widget of the blogs I follow  – I like that idea because in my opinion they are all worth reading!!

Just a few random things I was thinking about today . . .

The LIEBSTER AWARD – A lovely way to meet new writers

I have been really busy this month – watching my grandkids 3-4 days a week, making more jam than I could ever eat, a slew of family birthdays keeping my weekends busy, and looking for a job, as well as getting a nasty summer cold not once, but twice.

Catching up on my comment responses, I found a lovely nomination from Smriti at mumbaimornings for the Liebster Award. Thanks so much Smriti, I am honored.  I do not write for awards, but it is nice to know someone is reading and enjoying or finding value in my musings 🙂 Since this blog is more in the editorial spirit typically regarding current events, I don’t always write much about me personally. Often awards ask you to share information about yourself – which I’m becoming more comfortable with, as well as nominating others – which is the part I like the best!!

According to Smriti, The Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. Just another way bloggers support each other, as opposed to trying to knock each other down or stabbing each other in the back 😉 It’s a great way to discover new bloggers!  I love being a part of this community ❤

THE RULES – Yes, there are rules, but if you don’t want to participate, it’s all good. I have to admit – I changed the wording of the rules a little by editing out the “You have to’s” and the “You must’s.”  Being the non-conformist and rebel I am, had to do it 😉  The whole point of this is to introduce new bloggers to other bloggers!

  1. Saying thanks 🙂   Link back to the person that nominated you.
  2. Share a little about yourself 🙂   Answer the 11 questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
  3. Mentor other bloggers and engage them 🙂   After completing these questions nominate 11 bloggers with under 200 followers and give them 11 questions of your choice.
  4. Just common sense 🙂   Do not nominate the person who nominated you.
  5. Share the news 🙂   Let your nominees know that they have been nominated and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it.

Here are the questions given to me:

  1. Tea or Coffee? Neither, really. My guilty pleasure is a Starbucks venti mocha frap (with only ½ the amount of Frappuccino and chocolate syrups) with 2 shots of espresso. Hot drinks are not my fav. Never liked tea of any kind.
  2. Beaches or Mountains? BOTH, absolutely!
  3. Backpacker hostels or Luxury hotels? (assuming you have the money) If I am assuming, then Luxury all the way 😉
  4. What is your favorite food? Have to be a toss-up between Mexican food and seafood.
  5. Which city would you love to live in? I honestly can’t answer that – not sure, as there are many – I truly do like the beach & the mountains. I‘d hate to live in the big city, I know that.
  6. Who inspires you? People who stand up for the little guy or change, even though it may cost them, because it’s the right thing to do – people like Erin Brockovich, Crystal Lee (Jordan) Sutton [the woman who inspired Norma Rae], Erin Gruwell [teacher who founded Freedom Writers]. These people didn’t start out to be activists, they just wanted all people to be treated fairly and compassionately. I am also inspired by writers like Robert James Waller – Bridges of Madison County, and Matt Damon and Ben Affleck – Good Will Hunting. They just wrote it and got it out there and it was thought-provoking, provocative, emotional and people loved it! Then there’s William Young who wrote The Shack – he self-published after being turned down by 26 publishers. (Come on – as writers, expression is most important, but money is always a bonus not to be turned down!!) Really, I am inspired by many different people and a variety of things.
  7. If a day had 25 hours, what would you do in the additional hour? That would depend on the day 😉 [Read, sleep, write, spend with family or friends, sit on a deck drinking a margarita watching the pelicans fly over, sit in the woods listening to it talk,  etc.]
  8. What would the name of the movie based on your life be? If It Was Easy Where Would the Fun In That Be?
  9. What is the one thing (single most important) you itch to do in life? Many many things, but (I had to really think about this one to pinpoint it down) I’d love to write a Pulitzer Prize winning piece 🙂 (Yeah, I dream big!) Seriously, the thought of owning a bakery or a little pub has come up in many conversations, too 🙂
  10. What is holding you back? Fear – of failure, success, whatever, and Money – the root of all evil LOL!!! Don’t need a lot, but do need enough. 😉
  11. What is the one piece of advice you would want to give all your readers? Live for today, but don’t forget about tomorrow – chances are you’ll have a few of them 😉

The best part – the 11 bloggers with under 200 followers, I wish to recognize and nominate:

  6.  (Live free or die trying)
  8.  (People Places & Perspectives)
  10. (Words:  a steamy love affair)

My questions for you:

  1. Do you have more than one blog?
  2. Do you like (good) surprises?
  3. Favorite book and why?
  4. Night-owl or morning person?
  5. Do you write & hit publish right away or do you spend a considerable amount of time editing?
  6. Would you stop & help a turtle cross the road?
  7. Do you know your blood type? (And NO I don’t want to know, but you should if you don’t!)
  8. What would the name of the movie based on your life be?
  9. Who inspires you?
  10. What is the one thing (single most important) you itch to do in life?
  11. What is holding you back?

Thanks again Smriti – certainly appreciate the shout out!!

Just something I was thinking about . . . ☮

Nomination from a Peer – One Lovely Blog Award

I want to sincerely thank Monika, from monimorphism, for the “One Lovely Blog Award” nomination. I was truly surprised and am honored. Though I do not write for awards, it is so nice to know my audience is enjoying my musings and how I express them. If you have the opportunity, visit Monika’s blog – she is a great writer with a smorgasbord of things to entertain you on her blog from touching and funny stories, to beautiful poetry, to videos. Thank you again Monika, for your kindness and inspiration! ❤

There are a few guidelines that come with accepting this award:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you for the award.
  2. Display the One Lovely Blog Award on your Blog.
  3. Share seven things about yourself.
  4. Nominate fifteen Bloggers you admire. Inform them by commenting on their Blog.

Seven things about me you may not know:

  1. I LOVE music and it is typically playing, most times with the volume cranked.
  2. Seafood and Mexican food are my favorites, and I could eat homemade salsa daily.
  3. I am incredibly patient at times, but often not very tolerant of certain things or behaviors.
  4. I could live on the beach or in the mountains – both would be great!
  5. If I am drinking booze, it’s almost always a margarita or a hurricane.
  6. I have worked as a journalist, public relations/communications specialist and a technical writer – these employers did not wish to read about my personal opinions, nor would they now.
  7. I love writing, but I love reading just as much! (Which is why I have often sat down and started writing, then got lost in reading other’s posts!!)

My favorite part of accepting this nomination is it allows me to share some of my favorite blogs, blogs that I think are definitely worth a read, and in my case a dedicated follow. I have learned so much from my fellow bloggers – about writing, sharing, and humanity in general. I have learned more about the world by reading blogs from and having readers from around the globe.

Here is a start at my list of favorites, though in all honesty I had more than fifteen I would have liked to nominate. I read many, but I find myself always gravitating back to these – due to their great writing, style, and/or inspiration. Some of these blogs feature poetry, opinions, romantic musings, or inspiring or hilarious (or both) personal memoirs. Some feature opinions on current events, and some represent fiction. Some feature all of the above and more – they all feed my soul!! I hope you get a chance to check them all out, including my gracious nominator. So find a nice block of time and get ready to enjoy some fine reading!

Fifteen Blogs I Admire:

CHEERS to my WordPress community  – a place where I  can write unedited ❤

Just something I was thinking about . . . ☮


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Flexible Hammertoes Treatment

Hammer toe, also called hammer toe, deformity of the second, third, or fourth toe in which the toe is bent downward at the middle joint (the proximal interphalangeal [PIP] joint), such that the overall shape of the toe resembles a hammer. Most cases of hammertoe involve the second toe, and often only one or two toes are affected. In rare cases when all the toes are involved, a thorough neurological assessment is necessary to evaluate for underlying nerve or spinal cord problems.

Risk factors for hammertoe include heredity, a second toe that is longer than the first (Morton foot), high arches or flat feet, injury in which the toe was jammed, rheumatoid arthritis, and, in diabetics, abnormal foot mechanics resulting from muscle and nerve damage. Hammertoe may be precipitated by advancing age, weakness of small muscles in the foot (foot intrinsic muscles), and the wearing of shoes that crowd the toes (too tight, too short, or with heels that are too high). The condition is more common in females than in males.

Hammer ToeSymptoms

The symptoms of a hammer toe are usually first noticed when a corn develops on the top of the toe and becomes painful, usually when wearing tight shoes. There may be a bursa under the corn or instead of a corn, depending on the pressure. Most of the symptoms are due to pressure from footwear on the toe. There may be a callus under the metatarsal head at the base of the toe. Initially a hammer toe is usually flexible, but when longstanding it becomes more rigid.

Hammertoes are progressive, they don?t go away by themselves and usually they will get worse over time. However, not all cases are alike, some hammertoes progress more rapidly than others. Once your foot and ankle surgeon has evaluated your hammertoes, a treatment plan can be developed that is suited to your needs.

Non Surgical Treatment

Apply a commercial, nonmedicated hammertoe pad around the bony prominence of the hammertoe. This will Hammer toe decrease pressure on the area. Wear a shoe with a deep toe box. If the hammertoe becomes inflamed and painful, apply ice packs several times a day to reduce swelling. Avoid heels more than two inches tall. A loose-fitting pair of shoes can also help protect the foot while reducing pressure on the affected toe, making walking a little easier until a visit to your podiatrist can be arranged. It is important to remember that, while this treatment will make the hammertoe feel better, it does not cure the condition. A trip to the podiatric physician?s office will be necessary to repair the toe to allow for normal foot function. Avoid wearing shoes that are too tight or narrow. Children should have their shoes properly fitted on a regular basis, as their feet can often outgrow their shoes rapidly. See your podiatric physician if pain persists.

Surgical Treatment

Surgery to correct for a hammertoe may be performed as an outpatient procedure at a hospital, surgery center, or in the office of your podiatrist. There are multiple procedures that can be used depending on your individual foot structure and whether the deformity is flexible or rigid. There may be a surgical cut in the bone to get rid of an exostosis, or a joint may be completely removed to allow the toe to lay straight.

Hammer ToePrevention

If you notice signs of hammertoes in your feet, try some of these suggestions. Look for shoes with flat heels and plenty of space to allow your toes to stretch and spread. We’re proud to say that all of our shoes at Soft Star feature these qualities. If you’re unwilling to give up your heels, at least try to minimize how much you wear them. Instead of wearing heels every day, is it possible to save them for more special occasions? Giving your feet a break from time to time can do wonders. Practice picking up a towel by grabbing it with your toes. You can also try picking up small objects, such as dice. Doing this several times a day can help stretch and strengthen your toe muscles. Show Your Feet Some Love. Getting a foot massage and stretching your calves can help loosen muscles and improve circulation.

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Posted by: Karen | January 14, 2016

Book #2 in the Cedar Ridge series. Available now from Hachette Audio.c25b47bf1628f4cd91e0181893f39ef9

From the Publisher:

UNEXPECTED AND UNDENIABLE . . .Bailey Moore has an agenda: skiing in the Rockies, exploring castles in Europe, ballroom dancing in Argentina. Now that she has a second lease on life, she’s determined not to miss a thing. What she doesn’t realize is that item #1 comes with a six-foot-one ski god hot enough to melt a polar ice cap. She doesn’t want to miss out on him either, but Hudson Kincaid isn’t the type of guy to love and let go. And as gorgeous as Cedar Ridge is, she’s not planning to stick around.

As head of ski patrol at his family’s resort, Hud thinks he’s seen it all. But never has he run into someone like Bailey. She might look delicate, but her attitude is all firecracker. And her infectious joy touches something deep within him that he’s been missing far too long. Now he’ll just have to convince Bailey to take a chance on her biggest adventure yet . . . something rare and all kinds of wonderful.”

From the review in AudioFile Magazine:

“Narrator Karen White once again brings to life this contemporary romance set at the Kincaid family’s ski resort in Cedar Ridge, Colorado. Bailey Moore, having been declared cancer free, is determined to check items off her bucket list. This includes learning to ski and painting a mural. Hudson Kincaid rescues Bailey when she accidentally gets trapped on a black diamond slope. Unbeknownst to Hudson, Bailey has been hired by his family to paint a mural at the resort. Listeners will enjoy White’s narration, especially the banter between Hudson and his family. White expertly voices Shalvis’s humor. Listeners can look forward to returning to Cedar Ridge in Shalvis’s next book.”

From the review at AudioGals:

“There’s not much more I can say that is new or unique about the wonderful that is Karen White’s narrating talent. She tackles the story as if it’s her own, with a natural pace that sounds like she’s just telling the story off the top of her head. She’s completely consistent with the various character voices. She has developed a certain blend of range/pitch/timbre to imply men’s voices, so that it’s clear who is talking, although the brothers did sound alike. Her delivery of emotional moments is genuine. Most of the time, those skills manage to become submersed in the story (this is a good thing) so that you are not aware of anything except the characters and the plot.”

From the review at I Am, Indeed:

“Narration in this story is from Karen White, and she is one of my all-time favorites for her ability to present the subtle nuances that often are missed in audio performances. Each character was presented with a unique voice that had a particular delivery and pitch, fitting to the character description and story. Bailey’s near-manic ‘grab the gusto now for tomorrow is not promised’ attitude is clear, and there is a decided change in that emotional subtext as she starts to find and develop the connection with Hud and then his family. Hudson’s stoic and occasionally grumpy nature isn’t wholly ingrained, and we see a decided lightening in his approach and delivery as he is able to come to terms with his own fears and as he opens up to Bailey. Fast paced conversations flow neatly, as do the quiet and more reflective moments for these two: alone and together. White’s performance allows a listener to understand the characters and easily understand and follow the story, and provides a wonderful listen.”

My recording experience:

Y’all know I love me some Jill Shalvis.  She is one of the funniest authors out there and I love how she balances the goofy, silly scenes (yes, I may have had a little too much fun with the girls’ drinking scene) with characters facing challenges that move me to tears. Her stories are my kind of wonderful Emotional Rollercoasters!  What I’m wondering now after working on books one and two of this series is just where Jill is doing her research.  She has got some ski patrol and search and rescue stories that are so unbelievable they have to be true. For instance, I cannot imagine spending a night combing a mountain, working your butt off in the cold trying to find two lost skiers, only to find they’d gone drinking after a day on the slopes and passed out without letting anyone know where they were.  Suffice to say I don’t have the constitution or patience to work ski patrol.  But I am looking forward to Jacob’s story in Nobody But You!

Listen to a sample here:

THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED.  Sally, Jane and Lori are the randomly selected winners and I will be contacting them via email to get them their download codes.  Thanks to all for entering!  I give away lots of books – to find out about them in the future, please consider following this blog, or my Facebook page, or on Twitter.

  1. i have read at least 48 of Jill’s books. Some I have read a couple of times. One of my favorite authors.

    • Now I’m wondering how many Jill has written!

  2. I’ve read 36 of Jill’s books and listened to 5.

    Thanks for the giveaway.

    • Whoa I think you are the high scorer so far! Have you missed any?

  3. I have read 15 books by Jill Shalvis. I enjoyed the Lucky Harbor series. Thanks for the giveaway!

  4. Oh my, I am way behind. This would be the first for me. And as for skiing. I am the family klutz. Grew up in Indiana where there aren’t too many mountains for skiing but I always thought I would get a Saint Bernard and do some cross-country skiing. Time moves on. Now that I’m retired and broke my foot just exercising trying to get in shape don’t think there is much skiing in my future. Thanks for the giveaway!

    • I am excited that this would be your first Shalvis!

  5. I’ve read or listened to 20 books by Jill Shalvis. My ski story: Very first time I went skiing was with a co-ed group of friends my freshman year in college. I rode the lift to the top of the bunny slope, started heading downhill (the wrong direction), fell over and hurt my ankle. Turns out the bindings hadn’t released from the boots that I rented. So I limped my way back down the hill, returned the equipment, and limped back to the lodge. I had a bad feeling the injury was not insignificant so I hopped in the shower to shave my legs, anticipating they would be on display to my friends if not at the emergency room. And yes, that’s where I ended up with a fracture of my lower tibia. Thank goodness I’d shaved my legs!

    • I knew there would be good stories out there! 2 entries for Jane!

  6. I’ve read 28 of Jill’s books and will continue to read, back read, reread, and listen to any and all she writes. Great author! My ski story: 15 years old, a guest of my cousin, and my first ski experience in Colorado. My other cousin brought a friend from Florida. Florida friend hops off the left and starts shushing down the hill looking flawless. I think to myself, “I’m from Wisconsin, she’s from Florida, if she can do it, I can sure as heck do it.” After I flew uncontrollably down the hill and landed in a pile of poles, skis, and limbs, my uncle then spend the next three days with the Velcro strap from his pole attached to the back of my jeans so that they didn’t lose me again. In retrospect, if I were five years older and knew something like Hudson Kincaid would come rescue me, I would have played dead. Karen, you are easy on the ears, thanks for the opportunity to win!

    • Love your ski story! That’s two entries for you, Lori.

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I attended one of the most popular tech conferences-WWDC, as a scholarship winner… Here is glimpse of what happened there, and how I got in.

Unlike the previous years, this time, we had to submit any app that we’ve worked upon which uses creative use of apple technologies. I submitted the link for a pretty simple app called Mega Mic- which converts your phone into a portable mic…

There isn’t a lot to tell as far as the procedure to get in is concerned but  I’ve a lot to tell about my experience there

Day 1

The scholarship winners were invited for an orientation session a day before the actual conference.

We had speakers speak to us about good design, their stories, and a lot more. Tim Cook paid a visit to us, but was bombarded with selfie requests 🤔 I didn’t take any selfie with him though 😉

We chatted with other winners, apple employees. Everybody was incredible and friendly. The youngest one was just 9!

The good guys at Apple gave all of us an Apple TV…

Day 2

The day for which people were most excited about- Keynote Day

People started lining up outside the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium from as early as 2AM! I personally arrived at the venue at 9AM(sleep is important guys! 🙂 ) and met really cool people in the line… Other scholarship winners told me, that they were probably pulled out and were given a seat in a special area. But, I preferred to follow the general line.  We had light snacks throughout the line- Muffins, juices, coffee, etc.

I got a balcony seat on the side. The 2AM guys were sitting in the front… *I didn’t find it worth to compromise my precious sleep for them, so no judging 🙂

There were metal detectors near the gates of the venue, probably due to tragic happening a day before in Orlando. Security dogs could also be seen. I wish I had clicked a picture of the ‘apple dog’, who had an apple badge just like us 🙂img_5107

This pic belongs to Andrew, who is an awesome person and sat beside me during the Keynote

After the keynote, several attendees headed to the download area, while others got out of the auditorium and had food. The talks about keynote, appraisals, general talks complemented the packed lunch boxes given by apple. During this time, people like MKBHD, Rajiv Makhni, apple execs could be seen… Others may call me an idiot, I didn’t even try to get selfie with any of ’em 🙂 After all, I was engrossed in the conversation with my fellow attendees and having food. #priorities you see 🙂

This was succeeded by Platforms of Union, which was like the keynote, but had more of developer stuff and was a bit less formal…

A day well spent it was! I headed back to the BART station, and got back to the place where I was staying…

Day 3-5

These were the days when the actual conference took place at Moscone West. The venue was wonderful. People were amazingly friendly and nice.I met a lot of attendees from around the world. They were seriously brilliant and humble. The best part about the conference was probably the people there.

The sessions were pretty good too. I went to many labs and asked a few questions. The Apple engineers gladly answered all my queries.

Marvel talk in the lunchtime session was beautiful. I won’t share the contents of the talk though, but yes, it was really good.

Sadly, I couldn’t attend the bash though, so I can’t comment about it.

It seems that the week was over in a blink of an eye.

A memorable exeperience it was!

Edit: Talking about food, they gave us packed boxes, which were okayish… Nothing special about the food, but they weren’t too bad either… 🙂 And yes,  I wish I had clicked some more photos.

Signing off.

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Search the VMware Knowledge Base (KB)
View by Article ID

ESX Server becomes temporarily unresponsive under a heavy I/O load through aacraid driver (1003039)

  • 14 Ratings

When you place virtual machines on a storage device with a controller that uses the aacraid driver, and when an excessive amount of I/O is generated during the operation of the virtual machines to the storage device, the ESX Server host might temporarily become unresponsive due to delays at the storage controller level. As a result, the Virtual Infrastructure Client does not respond to input and one of the following errors might be displayed:
VMware Infrastructure Client could not establish the initial connection with server "xyz". Details: The server took too long to respond .
VMware Infrastructure Client could not establish a connection with server "xyz". Details: Timeout retrieving server inventory.

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text:
One barrier down, several to go

The 36-week training of the first batch of about 200 out of the 612 women recruits, all between 18 and 22 years of age, started at the Border Security Force’s (BSF) training camp at Kharkan village, 15 km from here, Monday. Classes for the remaining recruits will start later.

The women, 45 from West Bengal and the rest from Punjab, were gung-ho about not just the training programme but even postings in inhospitable terrain along the border where the BSF is stationed.

“This is a very happy moment for me. This is an active job and will give job security to me and my family,” Sandeep Ghumman, a graduate, said.

“Both my parents are in the police. The job with BSF should be interesting,” added another recruit, Kiranbir Kaur.

Taking pride in her new uniform, recruit Jyotibala of Punjab’s border district of Gurdaspur said: “I always wanted to serve my motherland. My dream has come true.”

The women will primarily be used along the 553 km international border between India and Pakistan, which has 300 gates along the electrified barbed wire fencing in Punjab.

“They will mainly be used to frisk women from villages along the international border who have to cross the fencing to cultivate land,” BSF’s Punjab frontier inspector general of police (IGP) Himmat Singh said here.

The women, instructed by two women from the Central Reserve Police Force (CRPF), will be trained in weapons and explosives handling, physical training, drill, map reading, field craft, border management and given knowledge about all major laws including Indian Penal Code (IPC), customs, passport and immigration, he said.

The fencing, erected by India in the early 1990s to curb militants from entering Punjab from the Pakistan side, is about 500 metres to one kilometre from the international border inside Indian territory. This had placed fields of many farmers of border villages beyond the fence. The farmers are allowed to go beyond the fence only for a few hours everyday (from 10 a.m. to 4 pm) to cultivate their land. They are frisked every time.

The BSF, over the years, had been facing problems in frisking women accompanying farmers across the fence. Frisking is essential as a lot of smuggling, particularly of drugs, takes place at the border, BSF officials said.

Over 8,500 women had applied for the 685 posts of women guards with the BSF June this year. Of these, nearly 2,500 were short-listed and underwent physical tests as well as screening and a medical examination before being selected.

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Keith and Kinsey's Real Estate Update

The Fiscal Cliff – How Does It Affect Real Estate?
November 28, 2012, 6:43 pm
Filed under: Income Property, Money, Real Estate | Tags: , , , , ,

There’s been a lot of discussion in the news about the fiscal cliff lately. In case you aren’t already familiar, the fiscal cliff is a combination of several laws which would result in tax increases and spending cuts starting in 2013. So, how does any of this relate to real estate?

The Mortgage Debt Relief Act of 2007 is one of the tax breaks that is set to expire at the end of the year. Generally, if debt is forgiven or canceled, this can be considered income to the borrower because it’s money they borrowed that they no longer have to pay back. So the borrower could be taxed on the amount of debt they were forgiven. This act excludes forgiven debt related to foreclosure, short sale, or loan modification of a primary residence from being taxable.

Even though the NAR (National Association of Realtors) is fighting hard to extend this act, I’m kind of torn on my opinion. Part of me says, we absolutely need to prevent people who have lost their home from being kicked while they are down and taxed on their debt forgiveness. Although, the other part of me says without this act we would have fewer people strategically foreclosing (walking away for convenience or part of their financial plan), which I don’t agree with. Maybe this act could be revised to provide incentives for short sales instead of foreclosures? This may prevent some strategic defaults while still helping those that are really trying to work with the banks.

Capital Gains Taxes are also set to increase from 15 to 20% on January 1st. I’m somewhat indifferent on this topic too. As real estate investors, lower capital gains taxes are beneficial for my wife and I in the long run. Although, I also understand the need for the government collect more than they spend, and I don’t think this is such a terrible place to squeeze more money out of tax payers. This will however, raise expenses for investors who are helping to revitalizing distressed properties, which could have a negative impact on a recovering market. So, I’d prefer to delay the increase a year or two or slowly raise it back to 20% over a period of a couple years.

The Mortgage Interest Tax Deduction is also a discussion item. Currently mortgage interest is a tax deductible item. Although, law makers are threatening to trim deductions allowed related to mortgage interest. Again the NAR is fighting to keep this tax deduction around. I think we all realize that this tax deduction is an incentive for home ownership and taking it away could slow (if not severely damage) the recovery of real estate markets. Although, I don’t think it would have much market affect if they set a lower maximum allowable deduction or eliminated the deduction for second homes. I’m probably the only Realtor and real estate investor that you will ever hear say this…  but I wouldn’t mind if this tax deduction was reduced over time and eventually disappeared. Why? because I don’t think our government should dole out rewards for having debt. Debt and the willingness of the American people to overspend is what got us in this mess to begin with.

What are your thoughts on the fiscal cliff? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts?

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Paris as I see it

Apparently only people who know me in person read this blog. Often they know me quite well. They know I love cliches and stereotypes, they know I always just say what I think frankly and never use sarcasm, and they know I have absolutely no sense of humour, let alone the dark ones. Therefore, this post is just going to be like all the other articles about Paris and you definitely have to read those cliches all over again. This blog is going to be so mainstream I am very confident some magazines like Cosmo or Seventeen will pay me for this article, because it once again confirms Paris as a wonderful, hopelessly romantic city all teenage girls will LOVE.

Haha sorry for the troll. But seriously, click away if you were expecting those things about Paris.

The first thing we did (yeah, “we”, I was STILL with Aukse) after arriving in Paris was getting to our host family. This was the first time I couchsurfed with a family (a dad, a mum, two lovely adorable french kids) and with a Parisien family it taught me many lessons. Firstly, my French was horrible. To all my French course-mates in HKU who have studied French for more than 1.5 years: you will feel the same. You may have better grades than I do at uni, but you will feel like a mute as I did. At uni our brains were primed with grammar and literature we can perfectly write a short essay on Rousseau but in real life I couldn’t even understand what the kids were saying. But of course, I was staying for a whole week so at the end I was definitely getting better. After Paris I went back to England and to my French-speaking friends I was just using French for a while and I could feel I was making progress.

Secondly, life in Paris is as hard as that in Hong Kong. For the first time in my travels I feel there is a city where people struggle even more than us in Hk just to make ends meet. I am not saying the Parisien family was poor, definitely not, but they had seen it and they told us what is in reality. Once I asked why so many French families prefer cats over dogs and they answered because space at home is usually not enough for a dog (and of course some people really liked cats). Youth finding a job is especially difficult and we have seen many young people, perfectly healthy, sitting on streets or metro begging for money. We have even seen, one night after a walk to see the sparkling Eiffel Tower, a young black man being chased by motorcycle gangsters because he was selling key chains in the “wrong” place.

Thirdly, French people, they live an interesting domestic life in their own terms. Households are probably not the cleanest in the world. Please don’t get me wrong – I am definitely not saying my host family is dirty, not at all. However, there indeed are facilities I don’t quite understand and I wasn’t brave enough to ask. For instance, there were no washing basins in the toilets and we had to wash our hands in the bathroom or in the kitchen.

Also, husbands (or French men in general) are so different from those from Chinese culture. French men are modest and they don’t feel they need to show their manliness. My “host dad” cooked dinner for 2 nights and I was amazed because (sorry dad) my father set an egg on fire while trying to fry it. My host dad agrees with my host mum on most of the domestic decisions even though he had contrary preferences. There was one time we asked a question about some preferences. The couple were discussing how to answer and he said to my host mum “I prefer what you prefer.” and though my host mum was sarcastically responding “bravo” we can tell they loved each other very much and maybe this somehow is the secret of French marriages.

Fourthly, other than liberty, equality and fraternity I feel (especially) in public life French people live according to righteousness. In the workplace you should always tell your colleagues, even your boss if they have done something wrong (whereas in Hk some people either ignore unfair job conditions and some create opportunities for others to make mistakes so they can take their position). In the metro people show disguise to those who don’t stand on the right and obstruct others who want to walk, as well as those who try to take the metro without buying a ticket. There indeed are crimes in Paris and I never felt safe underground taking the metro but regarding French people as a nation, they make as much sense as German and Finnish peoples do.

Enough of lessons and I will tell what I have really done in Paris … To be honest I have visited very few museums or tourist spots and I couldn’t even recall my favourite spot or favourite piece of work. Yet, I have spent a great amount of time sleeping in parks, drinking coffee and watching people in cafes, writing, and just chilling in FNAC or stationery shops … Not very typical, but I had fun.

My favourite park was Jardin du Luxembourg, for it has really nice fountains and not that much people than the one in Tuileries. That was the first park I went so maybe that also explains why. Anyhow, sleeping in parks in Paris was great because the weather was fantastic most of the time we were there, which means I can get tanned. There were plenty of chairs, a lot of people and I just couldn’t feel more comfortable sleeping in public. Of course I don’t really mean sleep-sleep, but taking a nap, getting sunshine on my body and just relax with friends … life couldn’t be better 😉

Coup de foudre
Forgot where exactly this is
Jardin du Tuileries

We also visited a lot of cafes. Cafes in Paris were perfect because 1. most of the time the coffee was good, 2. most of the time they have free wifi, 3. most of them were pavement cafes we could watch the passer-bys and have fun observing the city. We also spent a lot of time writing our postcards or diaries there. At one point my pens were out of ink and I had to find a shop. I found a small shop in 1e Arrondissement, on the streets behind Concorde, which turned out to be more than 20 years old. There I discovered disposable fountain pens, lead holders and many other fun stuff. Having that said, I also spent a lot of my travel money there …

One last thing I did in Paris I want to mention, was meeting my lovely flatmate in Sheffield Julie and spending a day with her. It was absolutely coincidence we could meet up because we had different plans for our Easter break. Somehow we worked out to explore Paris together and I was really happy because by the time I saw her, we haven’t seen each other for probably 2 weeks or more. We were only living together for 5 months and so 2 weeks were a lot. Anyhow, we spent the day going here and there (luckily Julie was a great map reader), eating fast food (which was actually pretty nice) and you know, just having a fun time. So thanks for the lovely memory Julie 🙂

With my Onion haha

I spent a whole week in Paris so apparently there are still a lot of things I have done or seen but didn’t include in this blog entry. It was quite a spontaneous trip because at first I was planning to spend the whole of my 3-week Easter break touring in France. I ended up spending only a week in Paris (and a day in Lille, but). Also, I thought I would be going alone, but me and Aukse met up in Brussels. Many told me to not miss out Musee d’Orsay or some other spots in Paris they loved, but after seeing so many museums in the previous 2 weeks I feel it is the best for my brain to calm down, absorb and try again in the future. I was nervous about visiting Paris and asked opinions from friends who have been there, at the end I had a freaking chilling trip, according to my own pace, which feels awesome. There was a day Aukse couldn’t fly home according to her plan because French airport workers stroked. I responded to this “crisis” in an unexpected way I feel I am more assured of my own beliefs and my way of life. All in all, I loved the things I have done and places I have seen in Paris. Most importantly, I discovered my own very special way of travelling and I am satisfied with it. I will probably be more able to write shit that looks deep but actually means nothing but boasting or feeling self-claimedly sophisticated, but I honestly don’t care. To finally end this blog, here is a list of other “hipster” things I did in this trip which I may find quite amusing to recall when I read this blog again :

– Read a chapter of the Second Discourse in front of Rousseau’s tomb
– Slept on a piece of grass in Versailles and suddenly everyone did so
– Watched Shaun le Mouton in French in a cinema (did I mention it was in French ? Does anyone get me here when I say “I watched Shaun the Sheep in French” ????? If you don’t, I will tell you what I really mean – Shaun the Sheep is a movie without lines. :0) )
– Refused to enter Louvre because there were “too many tourists” even when the French workers haven’t decided to strike yet
– Visited Petit Palais instead because everything is in French and you have to pay for the exhibitions – feeling classy

From Musee Pompidou. Cried when I saw it

So that’s it !!!

One thought on “Paris as I see it

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3 02 2011

14 responses

3 02 2011

what colors did you change? and maybe I’m too young to know, but what is the thing in the middle of the calculator?

3 02 2011

I love it…overlaying the two images. Very nice!

3 02 2011

Very cool, it’d be awesome to see both the before images you used so I could get a feel for what all changed!

3 02 2011
Lisa V

I believe it’s an old accounting machine. You would punch the keys to get totals, it looks like it’s overlayed on a modern calculator.

Nice concept, very funky and retro’ish

3 02 2011

You ended up with a really interesting composition. It looks nice.

3 02 2011

At first I didn’t even realize that was a calculator overlay! Nicely done.

4 02 2011
vicky's designs

I like the overlapping of the two images. Good job!

4 02 2011

Nice with the overlaying but did you take the picture yourself or did you get them from the internet?

4 02 2011

Very nice work with the overlay. I am not sure what colors changed. Can you post the orignals.

4 02 2011
Franchesca Day

Cool. What did the original image look like?

4 02 2011

This definitely has the feel of a professionally done promotional item.

4 02 2011

Interesting idea! but i like it!

5 02 2011

liked it

9 02 2011
Courtney Conover

Very interesting image. Looks like you worked a lot with the color and blending tools. I would also like to see the before picture. Seeing the transition is always fun. Great work!

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Mt Field National Park – The waterfalls

“Nature is painting for us, day after day, pictures of infinite beauty.” John Ruskin

Russell Falls, Mt Field National Park

Tasmania is a wonderful place to go hiking with hundreds of trails, from short walks to multi-day hikes. It’s also the place where my hiking buddy lives so, on most of my visits, I get to pull on my hiking boots for an overnight trek, base camping or even just a short stroll to a waterfall. We are slowly ticking off hikes in all corners of the state and one my favourites is in Mt Field National Park. The Russell Falls/Horseshoe Falls/Lady Barron Falls/Tall Trees Circuit is six kilometre walk, which takes two to three hours depending on how long you linger at each of the waterfalls.

Mt Field National Park is about 60km north west of Hobart and is particularly unique for its diversity in vegetation. There are tall swamp gum forests and giant tree ferns in the lower reaches of the park and alpine vegetation in the higher elevations, where there is also ski field above Lake Dobson. At the time of our visit, September, there was still snow in the alpine regions and our longer hike was foiled because we were sinking up to our thighs in the snow, not to mention losing sight of where the trail went – but that’s another story (Mt Field National Park – Alpine hikes).

Fortunately, the waterfalls circuit is suitable at all times of the year and Russell Falls, which is one of Australia’s most photographed waterfalls, is only a 10 minute stroll from the visitor centre. Here are some of my photographs of this beautiful hike.

Sunlight filters through the thick canopy and there is so much water coming over Russell Falls that the spray drenches us. We have to stand further back to take photos.

We also visited Russell Falls after dark to see the glow worms. It took our eyes a while to adjust to the darkness but gradually the glow worms began to appear, resembling twinkling stars. The falls also looked amazing – ethereal in black and white – and the sound of the water tremendously loud.

Our senses were definitely heightened as we walked slowly along the darkened trail; the red eyes of a pademelon occasionally startling us. They were less scary in the daylight.

Russell Falls has three tiers and some of the best views are from the steep trail leading to the top of the falls.

The view across Mt Field National Park from the top of Russell Falls.

Horseshoe Falls are about 100 metres upstream from the top of Russell Falls.

I love the opportunity to be creative when photographing waterfalls and this one is perfect. It’s dark, allowing slow shutter speeds. There’s a fence (aka tripod) to keep the camera steady. And there’s not too much spray. Awesome!

The ‘Tall Tree Circuit’ is a 30-minute walk through a forest of incredible swamp gums – the world’s tallest flowering plants – and there are sign boards along the route and a device that allows you to measure the height of the trees.

Lady Barron Falls

The last part of the walk is alongside a picturesque creek, which takes you back to the visitor centre.

Just outside of Mt Field National Park there is another lovely hike to Marriott Falls, which takes about an hour each way. The trail begins alongside the raging Tyenna River before crossing an open paddock and venturing into rainforest.

This is an incredible walk, very Tolkienesque, with giant ferns and vivid-green moss covering the tree trunks and most of the trail.

It is wonderful to stand in this beautiful glade, surrounded by giant trees, feeling the spray on my face and gazing up at this spectacular waterfall.

Have you been hiking in Tasmania? I would love to hear about your favourite walk or waterfall. Let me know in the comments below.

5 thoughts on “Mt Field National Park – The waterfalls

  1. We should attempt the tarn shelf walk again when the trail isn’t obscured by snow! I love Mt Field as well. There are so many different walks to do.

  2. Pingback: Mt Field National Park – Alpine hikes | kgrahamjourneys

  3. Pingback: Walls of Jerusalem National Park | kgrahamjourneys

  4. Pingback: The Best Day Trips From Hobart | Affordable Holidays

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My Butt’s Been Moved To The Front

After my final diagnosis and initial meeting with my Colorectal consultant, it was decided that I would have surgery to acquire the latest fashion accessory – a colostomy bag.

My tumour is large, it is 8 inches long and it located low down in my colon and into my rectum and has basically blocked the passage out of my body making it difficult to eat. Having the colostomy would give me my appetite back and make the side effects of the forthcoming chemo radiation treatment easier to handle.

So, on the 12th November I was admitted to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham to have my bowel defunctioned and a stoma created to allow food to ‘output’.

The surgery was done by key hole and the surgery only took an hour and a half and was successful. I spent 5 nights in hospital in total. Even though I was lucky and had time to digest (ha ha digest) the idea of having a colostomy for 3 weeks before the surgery, I still came round feeling shocked and bewildered by the idea of having this bag attached to me for the rest of my life.

In the days following the surgery, along with the expected pain, I experienced blurred vision from the anaesthetic which added to my frustration. At the QE, you are placed on an enhanced recovery programme which helps you recover quicker and get you back home as soon as possible. You start eating the very next day and you’re encouraged to start looking after your stoma right from the very beginning so that you feel confident that you know what you’re doing once you get home.

I found this quite distressing although hid my feelings as I didn’t want to impede getting home. I was terrified of eating as I didn’t know what was going to happen, I was also still tender from the surgery so any grumble in my stoma’s direction caused me pain, although I was assured that the stoma has no nerve endings. I also struggled to look at my stoma, this horrible, swollen, bleeding mess that was now sewn to my stomach and blighted my whole body plus the just as ugly bag that was attached over the top of it. The thought of cleaning it made me feel ill but I had no choice as it would be my only way home  plus something that I would have to get used to for the rest of my life.

5 weeks on and I can say that being the owner of a front butt is getting easier. The swelling from the surgery has gone down and my stoma has settled into a small neat circle and I’m managing the twice daily task of changing my bag.

Emotionally, I still feel vulnerable. I know that my body is never going to look the same and I’m still struggling with how the bag looks attached to me. I wonder how my husband will ever find me attractive again, although he assures me that he does.

My ‘output’ still hasn’t quite settled into a routine yet, and I swing from panicking about having a blockage to wishing that it would stop working. This sounds bizarre but I feel like my stoma has developed a personality  and I’m sure it’s something that other colostomates can relate to. Although ‘we’ haven’t quite worked each other out yet, there are certain things that I can almost guarantee…

  1. My stoma will fart loud… in a really quiet room… in front of a lot of people. The only thing you can do is laugh it off – even if you are dying of embarrassment inside
  2. Either my bag will start to fill the minute I put a fresh one on or it will decide to fill the minute I walk outside the front door. Leaving the house on time seems impossible.
  3. If I’m sat at home alone all day nothing will happen at all – in fact it will be an oasis of calm

Me and my new friend one week after surgery

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Kindergarden Canvas

“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” ― Aristotle

Gym Time

on June 18, 2013

Today we were fortunate to have been able to use the gym for an hour. The class benefitted from the extra exercise. We played many games: freeze tag, slide tag, builders and bulldozers, grocery cart, pacman tag, safari, duck duck goose, superheroes. We also did relays: wheelbarrow, cheetah, snake, grasshopper, and logs. We finished by doing silent yoga.

One response to “Gym Time

  1. Joanne schutz says:

    wow that’s a lot of games. I will have to get Ashley to teach me the ones I don’t know. I love that you do yoga with them.

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V-Day at K-Baby Studio!

Valentines Day Pic

It’s nearly Valentine’s Day and King Baby Studio is ready to rock out with you and your loved ones! In addition to it being designer/owner Mitchell Binder’s birthday, February 14 became a lover’s day around the high middle ages in the circle of Chaucer, and courtly love really began flourishing in the 15th century with affections such as flowers, sweets, and letters. Some of our pieces hearken back to this time period, especially our Caged Heart Pendant for King and Queen Baby.

Our handmade pieces are such a personal touch for the ones you love. Each piece takes on a different persona for the person who wears it, bringing a very unique quality to our works of art. We are inspired by many different materials, including pearls, silver, gold, diamonds, and CZ. We incorporate the most beautiful parts of each to personalize our work for you and the people you love. To snag Free Shipping online now through Valentine’s Day, use the Promo Code LOVEKING. Also, when you shop in-store at our Santa Monica and Nashville locations, you pay No Sales Tax through Valentine’s Day!

Whether it comes to jewelry that is full of heart, or in the shape of an actual heart, we’ve got you covered here at King Baby Studio.

Valentines Day Pic

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HUMMUS! Quick, easy and delicious! It only takes a couple of ingredients and a few minutes of work to have a light and tasty snack. Pair it with fresh veggies, slap it on a sandwich or do whatever you want with it!

You Will Need:

  • 1 – 15.5oz can of chickpeas (also known as garbanzo beans); rinsed or 2 cups of dried chickpeas
  • 3T tahini
  • juice of 1/2 of a lemon
  • 2-3 garlic cloves; mined or more to taste
  • 2-4T olive oil
  • 1T cumin
  • paprika optional; to taste
  • water to thin as needed

  1. If you are using dried beans, soak them in water overnight. Rinse them and put them in a pot with new water and  add 1tsp of baking soda. Bring to a simmer and allow to cook for about 45 minutes until you can smoosh them with your finger. Drain the excess water, allow to come to room temperature and add to food processor.
  2. Pulse the chickpeas, lemon juice, garlic and tahini until smooth; stopping to scrape the sides of the processor as needed; adding the oil as you go.
  3. Add your seasonings, and add water to achieve your desired consistency.
  4. Serve with pita bread or fresh veggies.. or however you want!

You can obviously add any other flavours you’d like; put some roasted red peppers in it, maybe some avocado? Get creative! Whats your favourite flavour?

2 thoughts on “HUMMUS!

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