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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

CHA Summer 2012 Peeks - Tim Holtz Stamps

By Tim Holtz
Posted: 10 Jul 2012 11:18 AM PDT
thanks for posting all of the wonderful comments yesterday bloggers.  it’s been so nice to read about everyone’s favorite images from this release and sharing the kind words to mario. i asked mario to select the winners so be sure to scroll all the way to the end of today’s post to see if you’re one of them!!!
there is no doubt as a stamper myself we all have our faves that we just love to create with and that of course, was the inspiration behind today’s debut…you see, back in 2005 i was asked to design 25 images for stampers anonymous to create a “signature collection”, talk about an opportunity of a lifetime.  quite honestly though, i didn’t think i had 25 ideas to turn into stamps (true story).  my love for stampers anonymous stamps started from day one when i first learned about stamping over 13 years ago.  i think what makes the original stampers anonymous images so unique was the fact that it was a mix of eclectic designers who all submitted artwork for the stamp line.  this combination of graphics, words, and illustrations created an artistic escape for me, a place where my creative thoughts could run wild.  to this day i still have and use my original, inked up, well “loved” wood mounted stampers anonymous stamps…
okay, so i’ve been pleading with mr. stampers anonymous for years now to bring back those classic images, that great assortment of timeless designs, but in cling mount.  well i’m happy to say that not only has he finally agreed to bringing them back, but he asked ME to personally select my favorite classic images and put them into sets.  these are the exact same size images as the wood mounted stamps, but now in the convenience of indexed cling mount sets.  seriously???  this is one of those full-circle moments for me and something i’m so excited to share with all of you – introducing stampers anonymous classic favorites…t!m
how about another giveaway?  tell me your classic favorite stampers anonymous stamp with this collection and post it on the blog.  we’ll pick more winners to announce tomorrow – good luck!
congrats to the winners from yesterday’s stamp giveaway preview post.  if you see your name and comment, please email mario@timholtz.com with your info – thanks!
Jerri Wood says:  I am loving the Halloween/ skull. Can’t wait to use that one.
Anna Ely says:  These are all awesome!!! Way to go Mario!  Decisions, decisions….I like the Autumn Blueprints series overall as a set…but the I’m really loving the snowman from the Christmas Blueprints!  Thanks so much for all the fun sneak peaks! This year’s releases are fabulous!  Anna
Robyn Josephs says:  my fave image is the mini christmas tree and ornaments
Beverly Sager says:  These are all so cool! My faves are the silhouettes and the Christmas blueprints. Ooh, the ideas are already swirling…
Marita Summers says:  Ohhh, the fall leaves/acorn blueprint is wonderful! Also luv the little mini’s blueprints! Welcome Mario III !!! Great job! P.S. And I love the halloween “fence” people too!
Cara P says:  Want, Need, Love them all but my fav is the Halloween 3 collection!
Laura Albertson says:  Love all the new stamps. My favorite blueprint is either the bat or the skull, can’t decide which. They are all awesome!
Shereen Julius says:  Always Awesome! Love anything Christmas so adore all the Christmas Blueprints! Second the leaves – thinking browns and greens – Thirdly the SKULL!! Simply Delicious! You definitely inspire me to work ten times harder to support my Tim Holtz addiction – Keep up the Good Work!
Libby M. says:  I adore these new blueprint sets!! My favorite hands down would be the snowman stamp. It conjures up memories of building those snowmen in my parents from yard on those snow days after our chores had been finished. You would have the “blueprint” in you head and hope it would work out.. My next favorite is the Christmas tree. You would always want to find just the right spot to hand the glass balls and lights where it would hide your “Charlie Brown” tree. The two sets (mini and larger) Christmas sets sure conjure up a lot of Christmas memories of the past. Beautifully done! This is an awesome release.

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01 09 10


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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

"To the moon and back" Tutorial by Narelle

Hi everyone

It's Narelle here with a layout using the gorgeous Fancy pants "Burlap and Bouquets" collection. I just adored the hessian look of the background paper for this layout!

  1. Mat a photo on the red side of the "I heart you paper" with a fine border.
  2. Cut a rectangle of the chevron side of "I heart you paper" 14cm x 19cm, and a strip 20cm x 2cm.
  3. Cut a rectangle 16cm x 22cm from the spotted side of "vintage lace" paper and a strip 3.5cm x 16cm.
  4. Die cut 3 flowers from the "vision" paper using the  MFT Botanical Beauty dies, using the reverse side of the paper for the flower centres.
  5. Assemble the layout by adhering the this chevron strippmat the top of the layout 1cm from the right edge, with the spotted strip over the top 3cm from the right edge, along with a flowers and a word sticker.
  6. Adhere the large spotted rectangle 4cm from the left edge and 5cm from the bottom edge and the large chevron rectangle 2cm from the left edge and 6cm from the bottom edge.
  7. Tuck a label sticker under the top right corner then adhere the photo 5cm from the left edge and 4cm from the bottom edge.
  8. Add two flowers in the lower left corner, tied with brown twine bows, and include word stickers and fish tail banner stickers.
  9. Finish the layout with a large word phrase sticker.

Thanks for stopping by
 If you have any questions please email us at:

 Happy crafting,

1 comment:

01 09 10

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LDRS Creative Design Team INSPIRATIONS!!!

Check out the beautiful inspirational projects over at LDRS Creative Inspirations!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Roses are red...

Happy Weekend Everyone!  I sure hope you're having a great weekend so far.  We're just hanging around the house today spending some quality family time together.  It's nice to have some 'down time'.  Tonight we're heading over to have dinner with friends.  We've haven't seen them in quite a while so we're really looking forward to it.  The kids always have fun playing together and us adults usually get out the cards - boys vs girls and the girls usually kick booty.

Today I have a card for Magnolia Down Under Challenges!!!  The challenge this week is 'Stitching Real or Fake'.  The DT has some awesome creations so I strongly suggest you go check them out.  I used #349Tilda Holding Bunch of Roses.  You can get this stamp at Magnolia-licious along with many, many others that you're sure to fall in love with.

I chose to make a card that I could send to the very sweet Leonie in Australia.  We've never met, but she went out of her way to send me some stamped hAnglar stAnglar images.  I was so impressed by her kindness and I wanted to send her a special 'thank you'.  I hope you enjoy my creations.

Tilda Holding Bunch of Roses

The dp's are from BasicGrey - Ambrosia and I think they're stunning.  I really enjoyed working with them.  CS is SU.  The ribbon and pins are from Making Memories.  I used a MS photo corners punch for the first time and loved it.  I added diamond Stickles all over and TPC Studio pearls to the corners.  The doily is by Artifacts.

I colored the image using watercolors with distress inks and Copic markers.

I sent the card in this little handmade box along with some card making trinkets inside.  It was a ton of fun to make, however, I was a little lazy and didn't keep track of the materials used - sorry!.  I shipped it off to her without notice and received an email from her the other day full of surprise.  I think we made each other's day.  It's a great thing when you have an opportunity to do something nice for someone special.

Well, that's all I have to today.  I hope you find some time to color!

Irena said...

beautiful creations :)

Aletha J. Williams said...

Just gorgeous! Your layout too!

Christine Riley said...

Wow, this is gorgeous, Angie, I love the papers and colors. Gorgeous!
Hugs, Christine

sandy said...

wow! that's really something! If I could color like you, I would go pro!

Sharron aka Sharrahug said...

Beautiful card & darling box, Angie! Such a beautiful gift!
Huggies ~
Sharron ♥

Linda S. said...

Such a beautiful set, Angie!! I can see why your generous friend was so surprised and happy. There is no such thing as "Too Much Kindness"!! Great work.
Linda S. in NE

Only by His Grace said...

Hi Angie!
You have to be the sweetest person. Your card is gorgeous and the box is stunning. what a lovely thank you for Leonie. she must have loved it. the colours are glorious.
Hugs Marion

Nancy said...

Gorgeous card and gift box! Love all the layers and the paper is beautiful. Your coloring is gorgeous as always!

Pam said...

Your coloring is wonderful on your card. The whole set is so pretty. thanks for sharing,

Debra James said...

What a fabulous card Angie. Love the colours u chose to colour in Tilda- and the papers are a wonderful choice and looks so very regal! and I love the stitching around the edges, wonderful, Hugs xxxx

Kellie Winnell said...

This is absolutely gorgeous Angie and I am sure that the person receiving would had been absolutely amazed at your SUPER talent! Also I LOVE your new blog look!

Has been amazing having you as a guest for a month and sharing your amazing creations and inspirations with the world of Magnolia Fans!

Hugs Kel xx

Robin said...

Gorgeous card...I love the colors you've picked!! And the little touches around the card.

Fran said...

Wow, this card is stunning and your colouring, I'm blown away, it's really amazing!! Love those papers too!

Sue said...

OMG Angie this is stunning, absolutely love it.
Sue x

Donna said...

Hi Angie! LOOOOVE your work. Please do a video to show us your secret for using watercolor, copics, and distress inks. Show us your process (please, please please)!!!

Sue said...

Forgot to tell you I have something on my blog for you.
Sue x

stephanne said...

Oh so gorgeous, your colouring is so incredible, the dimension and colour saturation is fabulous, as is every other element of this card and the treasure box you've made is lovely too, I am sure you put a smile on Leonie's face!! It has been fantastic getting to see your work these past few weeks on MDUC, I'll be keeping my eye on you, your work is gorgeous!!
Take Care,

Jodie from Oz said...

Angie, Fabulous card, Tilda is adorable and I love the gorgeous colours, your colouring and beautiful design and details are stunning. I love all your amazing creations. It has been so wonderful having you join us at MDUC for the month of March. I'm sure Leonie will treasure this amazing gift and I too head hung low need to send something special to Leonie. Love your new blog. hugs Jodie from Oz

Chantelle said...

Wow, such a fabulous little creation you've made - it has a vintage feel about it - love how you've added in the lace doiley - so pretty. And your colouring is amazing. Well done!!

Debbie Pamment said...

Angie you are a master crafter!!! I meant to tell you that last week - I've finally found the time to stroll through a few pages of your blog - AMAZING work!
We're sooo lucky to have you on board with such fabulous inspiration for all!

Kimba-Slydog said...

This set is a dream!!! So wonderful!!!

Bengelmama said...

Eine wunderschöne KArte. Traumhaft coloriert.

Hanna said...

Oh, this is a masterpiece! LOVE your card, it's totally gorgeous, and your amazing colouring is to die for!!! I adore everything about your fantastic card, Angie!
Sending you lots of hugs from Sweden! ;o)

Jane said...

Wow Angie both the card and box are stunning!!!! I love the amazing colours and all your wonderful details! I'm not surprised she loved it!! hugs, Jane xxx

Gina L said...

You are so incredibly talented. I kept looking at your card and finding new things to smile over, then I scrolled down and saw a lovely box, too! Gina L

Lisa said...

Angie, another beautiful creation!! Love your coloring! Your watercoloring looks great!! How did you like using distress inks? I have thought about getting some of those but I've been a little hesitant.

Southern Moments said...

Beautiful Card!!

Scrubbybubbles(sue) said...

Hi angie! wow...these are absolutely gorgeous! and I just love your new blog look! so cute!!! looks just like ya. ;)

Renkata said...

Ooops :) I wanted to say also that your blog baner look so gorgeous and the colouring of the image is so great.
Can you tell me please for her hair what Copic did you use and how are you doing to look so like Distress colouring is so pretty.

Hilde Larsen aka. Tindaloo said...

Lucky Leonie! this is simply a stunning card :)

Linxx said...

I absolutely love your creation! So nice of you to send such a lovely gift to your friend. It gave me the idea to make such an item for a friend I haven't seen in too long!
Thank you for that!

Linxx from Holland

marijke said...

this is sooooooooo cute and I love the colors you have used

Jean said...

Angie, simply love the card colors are fabulous and the layout is great,but to make the box and stuff it with goodies, wow, over and beyond the simple card.. What a great thing to do... love the box matches the card so well.. your coloring is so wonderful as usual and have missed seeing your work for the past two months but I'M back!! I may have had to delete 2000 e-mails as I didn't have the strenght to read them all but I shall be reading and answering them all now and even making cards when energy lets me... so get some more out... always love your cards.
Hugs, Jean

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text:
LDRS Creative Design Team INSPIRATIONS!!!

Check out the beautiful inspirational projects over at LDRS Creative Inspirations!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Blog Candy Winner...

Oh My Gosh Everyone!  I can't believe how hard I've laughed over the last few days!!!  Thank you all sooooooo much for sharing your hilarious stories with myself and anyone else that happens across them.  Your stories were so great and I wish I could select more than one, but then my hubby may object :-)  So, I had to pick one winner.  And that person is....

Chris, your 'Ed Ed' story made me laugh the hardest I've laughed in a long time.  I can certainly relate to it.  I've already emailed Chris to let her know.

Thank you all so much for all of your stories...for stopping in to check out my work...and for all of your sweet and generous comments.  It always makes me feel so awesome to know that others are enjoying seeing something that I absolutely love to create.

Take care everyone and check back for more CANDY as we move on through the remainder of this year.

1 comment:

Rene said...

Congrats Chris!!! :D

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text:
LDRS Creative Design Team INSPIRATIONS!!!

Check out the beautiful inspirational projects over at LDRS Creative Inspirations!!

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Grown with Love AND a grab bag to win!

Hello Everyone!

I have a fun little project to show today.  It's a quite simple project too.  I hope you enjoy it :-)

I chose to work with the adorable 'Grown with Love' image from our LDRS CandiBean line.  This image screams Spring and sunshine and we are really looking forward to that here in Michigan!!!  LOL!!!

I started with a clipboard stand that I picked up at the local craft store.  I loved the shape, but not the aqua color...so I changed it!  I primed the entire surface with white gesso and then attacked it with a bunch of Color Bloom sprays from Prima.  I am totally addicted to paint sprays right now!

I painted the image using some of the new watercolor pencils from Prima.  They were super easy to work with and the paint moved beautifully across the page.  I'm thinking about adding some of these to the store so please comment below if you are interested in seeing Prima mixed media products in the LDRS store :-)

 Did you notice those gorgeous die cuts on the left side of the card???  They were cut using the NEW LDRS Dewdrop Circle die.  I AM LOVING THIS DIE!!!  Seriously, I can't get enough of it!  It is so feminine and lacy.  The embossing on it is just lovely.  Below is a pic of the die in all its glory.  LOVE IT!!!

 Just for fun, I thought I'd show you a pic of my messy work space.  OMG!  Messy Messy!!!

Guess and win a Grab Bag!!!

There is also a little something in the pic above that inspired the creation of a product design and it is hidden in plain site.  I'm not going to give you any more clues.  Hehehe.....but the very first person to figure it out and note it in a comment on this post will win a secret grab bag of LDRS stuff!  Make sure I can contact you via email if you win!

And here is a close up of the finished image.

Well, that is it for today!  I've been working out the details of a new journal page in my mind.  As soon as I get it figured out, I will be back with another project......and maybe even a video!  Stay tuned!

Thank you so much for joining me today.  I would love to know your thoughts on my project :-)

Hellma said...

Hiya Angie wonderful work, love the card too. I think your inspiration could be the photo under your craft mat.

Moni Agila said...

I think it's the sign Le Jardin on the iron basket.
Great signing.

Loopylou. said...

oh thats one gorgeous project hunny, I love how you altered it. I think the item is the beautiful clock as it looks just like the dew drop die
huge hugs Lou xxx

Colleen Holmes said...

Gorgeous card! Love the colors which I believe you got from the design paper on your desk!

Colleen Holmes said...

Just in case I would be right! sweater32@aol.com

Kathy @ Stamping Still said...

It has to be the clock doesn't it!? It's gorgeous. And so is that die! And your card :)

Schnipsel und MEHR said...

The clock, I think too. OMG she's so beautiful, I love sunflowers and this sweet little CandiBeans. This will be my image for this summer <3
Have a great day and thank you so much for sharing
xoxo Clarissa

hana jones said...

I would have to say it is your flowers as the colors you colored match them :)

Alexandra Stapleton said...

The clock is the new die....I think, love the project x

Pam said...

Love that die! I think it's the clock.

Marieke Slaats said...

What a lovevly creation you made their, to have a clue about the inspiration i think it's the Le jardin plate that's standing to youre basket ;).

Dr Hitlermollik said...

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Ray Maher explores how design can combine new sustainability theory and digital media to empower the real-world impact of sustainability advocates. Ray is creating a sustainability communication network. It seeks to break barriers to sustainability by taking a big picture view, inspiring collaboration and connecting knowledge with action.

He pursues this as a researcher in sustainability strategies, a lecturer in sustainable architecture, and co-director of the award-winning Project Habitation.

Funding: APA scholarship

Advisors: Prof Clive McAlpine, Prof Samuel Mann

Project members

Ray Maher

PhD candidate


text:
In His Image

April 19, 2010

I’m not a very good writer.   I’m not a very dedicated blogger.  I’m good at a couple of things.  Trying to sound as humble as a person can sound when listing the things they excel at, I’m very good at singing, cleaning, organizing and loving others.  That didn’t sound too bad, did it?  Anyways, it seems though, that no matter how good, or even great I am at those few things, the list of things I’m not good at is huge.  It also seems that, the list of things I’m not good at tends to overshadow the good, at least in my mind.

So, this is me, in a nutshell:  I love to sing, I adore my husband and think I’m a pretty great wife.  I love to clean, and am quite proud of my organizational skills.  My love language is Acts of Service and anyone who’s been on the receiving end of my language is usually pretty grateful.  So far, so good; but now here comes the crazy.  I have a difficult time loving myself.  I feel ugly and fat.  The more ugly and fat I feel, the more I eat, because while I’m eating, I feel good.  Then after I’m done eating, I feel bad.  When I walk into a room I immediately assess if I’m the biggest girl in the room.  It’s sad.  And I’ve spent more tears than I can count on this struggle.

So, I started talking about it.  I figure, I can’t be the only one… even though a lot of the time I feel like I am.  I feel like no one could possibly understand my love/hate relationship with food; no one could possibly understand what I see when I look in the mirror; no one could possibly understand what I’m going through.  But as I started to talk about it from stage, people started talking to me about their struggles; heavy girls, skinny girls, young girls, older women, moms, daughters, sisters, aunts. Apparently there are a lot of us out there.  And by us, I mean, women who have forgotten that no matter what the mirror reflects, we were made in His image.

Genesis 1:27 – God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

It’s so easy to forget that He made us. And whether we are drop dead gorgeous, or just average looking, that does not define who we are to God. We are all beautiful , unique and precious to our maker.

Psalms 139:14 – 17- I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.

This blog isn’t for negativity. I don’t want people to jump on here and tell us how fat we are, or that we need to go on a diet.  I’ve heard that my whole life, and I’m done listening to it.  This blog is for beautiful women/girls who need to be reminded that they are beautiful to God; who need to be reminded that they are not alone; who need, once in a while, to be reminded that it’s okay to be and look the way they do.

This blog is for the broken.  Because I can honestly admit, that I am broken. I am deep down, fractured by words, and hurts that have never really seemed to heal.  I don’t want it to just be me posting either. If you want to post a comment, please do so. But I only want heartfelt honesty, not rude comments.  I also plan on having guest writers who have dealt with weight/body issues.  My heart’s desire is to see a network of women loving each other, and building each other up as they journey towards loving themselves.

I want this to be a ministry. I want this to be a safe place.  I want to feel good about myself again.

  1. I support u fully and would love it in return. I feel broken as well and pray God has His hand in how u minister to other’s thru this site. God Bless

  2. so glad you are starting this! Here lately, I have been struggling really bad with this issue. I think how addicted to food I seem to be, how ugly and fat I feel when I let myself get this way and how I eat when I am happy or sad..i don’t understand why I cannot view food the way other people do. So many other topics that christians or people in general have trouble with get talked a lot about and lots of books or such come out on them but I have yet to find a book that deals with my food struggles from a christian perspective. so glad you are doing this…amy you are not alone! I LOVE to sing too girl and I have weight issues too! When you came to our church, it felt good to actually see someone up on stage singing that wasn’t under a size 8!

  3. I feel like you just wrote my story…I can’t wait to walk this journey with you!

  4. thank you so much for this..i also feel like you just wrote exactly how i feel..the feelings aren’t always though..i only feel that way sometimes..and it’s so hard..but then someone will say something and it’s like God has used that person in such a way that it encourages me and reminds me that we aren’t just another person..we have a purpose and he is going to use us no matter what we see when we look in the mirror

  5. How increbibly parallel our stories are to one another! I finally got to hear you guys in concert at Women of Joy in Pigeon Forge a few weeks ago and just felt a kinship with each and every one of you! I suffered a miscarriage several years ago and Todd was the first person to acknowledge that loss in nearly 7 years. I came back and read every word of Angie’s blog and today just finished the book. While reading it, I discovered that what I had been experiencing with my weight and self-image was just a different kind of grief! It is not the same grief we experience with loss of life, but when we are broken, we are stricken with grief. We find ourselves in pieces praying to the Father to put us together again begging for wholeness. The problem I face is that I never let Him break me completely. I hold on to that one shard that tends to keep me from being whole. It’s a vicious cycle and sometimes a VERY lonely journey! I had breast reduction surgery last year and thought this was going to be the year the baggage melted away. One year later…not a stinkin’ pound lighter! I think I’m so desperate to lose it because the weight reminds me of my failures. Each pound represents a misstep and one that I wish I could take back.

    I just started Nutrisystem and have high hopes that it, coupled with LOTS of prayer support will be the answer. Praying with and for ya! May it be a blessed journey for all of us! 🙂

    • Can’t believe I forgot to mention this, but I totally thought I’d marry a musician and instead fell in love with a total computer genius (aka…nerd)! LOL

  6. Hey Amy,Im loving your blog 😉 I have issues too. I have trouble seeing myself as beautiful or even just ok.I grew up with a verbally and physically abusive brother who told me I was stupid, ugly, and fat from the time I was maybe 10 until I was about 21.It’s hard for me to replace the old negative with the positive that I hear nowadays from people in church. But still, some days I wonder why anyone would want me. Anyways,Im looking forward to your posts and if I can help you in this journey I will 🙂 Amy, I love you and you are SUCH an awesome person! I really do admire you!

  7. Amy,
    First off, you are a great writer. You put your thoughts down clearly and concisely. Secondly, I am glad you are doing this blog. It takes a lot of courage to speak out on these issues and I believe a lot of people will benefit from hearing your story. I look forward to walking with you through this journey.

  8. Amy,

    I to have struggled with my weight all my life. I have been called fat and lots of other words that are not very nice. I totally understand where you are coming from. I heard your story about two months ago during a concert that I attended. You are the most beautiful person I know. I will be with you every step of the way in your journey to become healthly. I will be praying for you as well.

  9. Amy,
    I came across this blog only because I was searching for Selah songs. In listening to your amazing voice, for me it overshadowed what you look like. I know what a struggle it is to lose weight. Weight Watchers is a great program and I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey. Stay with the program and don’t deny yourself the food your love. Face it we will always be surrounded by food but learning to live with it and making healthy choices will make us successful! You are beautifully amazing and I love how your voice ministers to me.
    God Bless!

  10. I grew up as the “fat” child and was picked on all the time at school and the names will remain forever imbedded in my memory. While they were very hurtful and led me to not have any self confidence in myself. I tried the quick fix diets and the diet pills, but nothing seemed to work to make me skinny or look how I thought I wanted to look. All of the stress of body image and others issues occuring in my life at the time, I began to binge and purge which led to a lifestyle of being a bulimic. I hid this eating disorder for 7 years, and while I was loosing weight, I knew it wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t until it accidently came out one day I was talking with a good friend, and immediately he prayed for me and has held me accountable. It is by God’s strength and power that I have been freed from this for over a year now. I praise God and give him all the credit for setting me free from this and pray that I can use this for a testimony for others to share what God has done. While I still struggle with my weight and always will. I know God has a purpose for me and I am not gonna let the media and society get me donwn because I am not a size zero. I’ve learned to change my eating habits and strive to eat healthy daily! While it is a battle, we serve an awesome GOd who has the power and the strength and the courage to help each one of us with this daily struggle!!!!

  11. I am so glad you are trying weight watchers. I did it about 9 years ago. I lost 40 pounds. However I have put it ALL back on. I am getting ready to try it again after trying everything else. It does work but you MUST keep the good habits. Even though I do have good eating habits portion control is also very important. I am starting out at 177.4. I am going to do this with you. I will pray for the both of us to have a successful journey. I love your new song “Redeemed”. It fits me. I feel lost and very unloved. You will never know what part your music plays in this world for some of us listening until Jesus shows you. I am sure you will be amazed. Thank you so much.

  12. Hi Amy;

    I wouldn’t say I have struggled with weight but I have struggled with being told that am not physically attractive….It is such a journey and am glad you started this for women. Words have a way of getting to us and reaching places we never knew existed. Therefore, if we feed off God’s word it will reach those places and heal our wounded hearts-coz that’s what His word does….it heals.

    To every woman or man out there who cries themselves to sleep over careless words, God sees each tear as it falls and He hears your prayers…it is a broken road but we can only see so far..because our sight is limited. We serve a LIMITLESS God. Dare to trust Him!

    Remember child of God, nothing happens to you, everything happens for you.

    Thank you Amy, may Jesus carry you through this.

  13. Well, in my mind we’re good friends! You didn’t know I harmonize with you while I’m making supper? 🙂 Don’t be creeped out, I’m not weird. Just love to sing, am a big girl myself, and love that my favorite group got themselves a brilliant singer who looks a lot like me (size-wise).

    I have struggled with my weight for a long, long time. I look back and realize that had I been told all along that I was bigger than others (and really, it’s just that I’m bigger boned and grew faster than the others… and was never meant to be a skinny little thing), but I wish someone would have told me that I was okay the way I was. Instead, I remember eating (hiding) my way through the years. I have never done the binge/purge thing, but ice cream and chocolate are my best friends and worst enemies.

    I am now at the point where I gained 40 pounds after getting married nearly three years ago, and while I’m blessed my husband loves me for who I am completely, I hate that I weigh even more now. I’ve sinced turned 30, and really feel tired and hurt often. I get out of breath easily. And although we’re in the same boat as you mentioned regarding a baby, I just feel like I wouldn’t be able to keep up with one right now.

    What have I done? I’ve tried Weight Watchers, but as I dropped 9 pounds or so, my husband dropped 30, which only discouraged me. I gained any losses back. I am in a First Place group with some colleagues, which is great for the motivation and Bible studies, but I haven’t taken the meal watching as seriously as I should.

    I am at the point where I want to simply feel better… I don’t care how “skinny” I get. Actually, even 50 pounds off (a long way from the real goal) would be so satisfying. And then I think about it. And then I go get the comfort food because it’s so daunting. I think about walking, then realize how I’ll feel after exercising, so I avoid it.

    I sometimes adopt the attitude that we’re all going to die anyway, so who cares what it’s from? Then I am reminded that we should take care of the temple that the Lord has blessed us with.

    The bottom line I’ve come to is that I don’t have to be a size 8. In fact, I won’t ever be a size 8. I’d be happy with a 16, to be honest. Anyway, anxious to follow your journey here. Keep being real. There are many of us women, I’m positive, who look up to you so much. The Lord has given you a talent of singing which has blessed more people than you’ll ever know. Thank you for your ministry and passion.

  14. ((hugs))

  15. Love the blog, Amy! Can’t wait to walk this journey with you… 🙂
    A BIG Selah fan,
    Chare 😉

  16. Dear Amy,
    You are a beautiful lady! I pray that you would be able to see yourself as such. I struggled with anorexia and bulimia during my teens. I was so broken when Jesus found me and told me that He was my healer. It took a couple of years to walk out my new found freedom. These years I regard as the best in my life because Jesus held me so close to His heart. He whispered truth to my heart, helping me to believe His words of love more than the lies that had told me I was worthless and ugly.
    One book the Holy Spirit really used in my life was You Are Not What You Weigh by Lisa Bevere. I recommend it becauses instead of being a “self-help” book, Lisa gives wise and biblical counsel of how to get freedom in this area.
    I look forward to hearing you sing when you come to HCF in Burnet this summer!
    King regards,

  17. Dear Amy,

    Thank you for sharing your heart. It is a gift. I have struggled with my weight all of my life and am only now in recovery from my eating issues.

    I know most have recommended diets but I won’t do that. I don’t believe diets work unless weight is your only issue. And for most of us are weight is a symptom of a root issue. For me it has been a variety of issues: low self esteem, self hatred..etc.

    I joined Overeater’s Anonymous about a year ago. It is a 12 step program founded on the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Both organizations are founded upon Christian values and beliefs. http://www.oa.org is the website for OA. OA has worked for me because my weight/eating is no longer in my hands- I give it to God and work the steps to recovery. I have been in the program for about a year and have lost 40lbs. My mind and heart is sooo much lighter and that’s the best part.

    I think that’s it. I thought I’d share what’s been working for me. It has been a tough but amazing journey. All the best.

    God bless.

    If you have any questions feel free to ask. I clicked the “notify me of follow up comments” button so I will get them. Take care.

    • Jasmine, I have been trying to work up the courage to go to OA. Just in the month that I have heard about them and read the materials on their web site, has changed my thinking. It is scary to think about going…embarrassed…
      Any words of encouragement for taking the first step and going to a meeting?
      Found Amy’s blog this morning looking for info about a concert they are doing in my home town. I decided to start reading her blog from the very beginning and here you were with the OA comments.

  18. Dear Amy,

    You are doing great! Thanks so much for sharing your heart.

  19. Hi Pam,

    Would you like to email me? That’s probably best. I’d be happy to answer any questions. OA has changed my life- my faith has grown through it too. I don’t know if I should or am ‘allowed’ to post my email address here, Amy, I am sorry if it isn’t. My address is jasmineleigh86@gmail.com talk to you soon. God bless, Jasmine

  20. Amy,
    Thank you for sharing your heart. I have one question, how do you “Love” yourself? I know how to love others, but myself not sure. I see God’s beauty in everyone else but again not me. I want to open a salon to show people they’re beautiful. In God’s eyes. The name will be “Your Beautiful”. I’ve always wanted to show my sisters and other they are beautiful. See, I have 5 sisters and I was the “pretty” one. I didn’t and don’t see it. I’ve always had an eating problem, not eating and now I can’t stop eating. 20 years ago I found out I was pregnant, the problem was my weight was 94lbs. I was 4 months along and I couldn’t make myself eat. I was losing weight not what the doctor wanted. I just couldn’t let myself get “fat”! By the time my son was born, I had gained 100lbs. My delivery weight was 198lbs. To date, I’m still overweight.
    I heard you on AFR with JJ and Ron the other day say that you loved yourself. How do you do that.

  21. Thank you for writing. Words fail me, tears are streaming down my face…because I relate to what you have said about weight. I am so very sorry for your struggle. It is painful, I do know how you feel. Reading your blog just sounds like my own inner voice of experience. I was a chubby kid. Everyone in my family is thin and I was looked down upon because I was fat. I have cried out to the LORD many times to help me loose weight and keep it off. It has always been a “yo-yo” of fat/thin/fat/thin for me. It seems like I have “always” been on a diet. I can never remember a time in my life that I haven’t been trying to loose weight. I have heard the line “you have a beautiful face if only you would loose weight” over and over and I hate it. I’ve tried First Place, Weight Watchers, TOPS, South Beach…you name it, I’ve tried it and failed and failed and failed. I exercise faithfully and still I carry around 120 extra pounds I cannot seem to get rid of. I made it through high school fairly thin because I learned how to throw up food or chew it up and then spit it out. After having children, I ballooned into what I am today. I still diet and still exercise. I can loose 20 lbs in 3 months and gain it all back by a weekend of “normal person” eating. Again, thank you for sharing your story and for this blog.

  22. Amy, I would like to encourage you to check into Dr. Pompa’s Cellular Healing Diet. He has a website and has some videos you can watch to learn more. Read thru the list of things that make you a good candidate for his diet and try it if you fit into those categories. I would also like to encourage you to get tested for food allergies. Some people have headaches, gas, bloating, etc and think it is just every day problems when they may really have food allergies. Good luck with your journey.

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Archive | May, 2012

Me time!

7 May

I have finished all of the graduation quilts!

I had a lady call last Thursday, with just a touch of panic in her voice, asking if I could have her granddaughter’s graduation quilt done this week.  Thankfully, I had just finished my last quilt earlier in the day.  And she is so thankful.  I love being able to help out.

So today I am going to load one of my quilts onto the frame.  I know you’re shocked!  I have a tote of tops ready to be quilted.  Our Christmas Tree quilt is still hanging above the sofa because I don’t have anything else to hang in that space.  So today is the day.  Shaun is very excited!

I hope to have a photos soon.

Have a grand day!


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imageWriting notes ~ shared with @dVerse #Open Link Night

Sometimes ~
We forget how far we have come
Over every ordinary obstacle
Through the muck of full-time living

Pulling ourselves out over & beyond
More than what we could have ever
Dreamed possible

Places uncomfortably discovered
When fragile changes into strength
Only in our recovery

28 thoughts on “Recovery”

  1. We often find, are reminded of, personal strengths in places uncomfortably discovered. We learn with every step we take.
    Anna :o]

    1. Hi Victoria ~ thank you for taking time to visit! So very true sometimes we never understand until it is over!

    1. Thank you Bjorn for stopping in & extra thanks for taking time to comment. I love the willow image ~ yes ~ in most things we don’t know our own fortitude & faith!

  2. when fragile changes into strength… the path we walk leaves its imprints and def. makes us strong as well and having mastered difficult passages is a reason to be proud and thankful

    1. Hello Claudia my friend ~ so very nice of you to stop in! Thanks
      Yes ~ character is built in times as these and we become more than who we were.

      Have a great week Claudia!

    1. Thank you for visiting & taking your time to comment. I agree & perhaps, really it is the most valuable thing we gain ~ the strength to know we can surely make it through this life!

  3. Excellent. True. Simple but full of insights one can only get when in the process of recovering from something….The last stanza is exceptional. I read it on its own thrice and was triply pleased.

    1. Thanks so much & I am so glad you enjoyed the reading. You are so kind to visit & share your comments with me. ~thank you!
      thank you! & thank you thrice! 🙂

  4. Strength, like beauty, is an inside job. Powerful bodies sometimes house tiny rodents, & weaker statures can be domicile for lions. Hindsight is 20/20, but regrets can lurk in the shadows of the past.

    1. Hi Glen!
      Nice to see you ~ thank you for stopping in. One truly never knows how one will respond to a crisis ~ and regrets of what was unsaid or not done seem to haunt us the longest.

  5. Sometimes we must be reminded of how far we have come, so that we can remember the road others may be on, right now. And that we can appreciate the journey as well.

    1. Thank you for stopping by & sharing your thoughts too!
      Yes, indeed when we go through tough times we gain insight of how fortunate we actually are.

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CommunityMy FDL

An Ya’ll Wonder Why WalMart Can’t Keep Ammo On Their Shelves… But There’s 1.6 Billion Rounds Of Ammo For Homeland Security?

First a lil history lesson in US ammunition market supply and demand… Specifically when supplies get tight and demand gets great.

It happened to a small degree when Clinton came along followed by the imposition of the Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban. Things got back to normal.

Then along came Y2K and the market really tightened up. Prices doubled and the ammo dealers at trade shows were the biggest draw until 2000 / 2001 came and went and no apocalypse. While supplies were tight Wal-Mart’s shelves always had a pretty good selection, and most everyone was able to get as much as they could afford. Things got back to normal.

Next came the WoT, Afghanistan and Iraq with the associated huge increase in US military ammo supply requirements. At the time there was excess manufacturing capacity to take up the slack, AND due to the end of the Cold War a HUGE import market had opened up from the Eastern Bloc countries and Russia. So, even with the gummint’s increased needs no real shortage came about. Prices were especially reasonable and supplies abundant.

Then US elected a Black President. His progressive policies and ‘in the closet’, but well documented, anti-gun beliefs led to a run on firearms, especially those most likely to be targeted, AND [ to my surprise ] a MAJOR run on ammo. My personal take was ‘This is ridiculous’. Especially given that Obama and the demopubs avoided gun control like the plague since they’d had they arses handed to them after the hugely flawed AWB. Hell, he even signed TWO pro-gun bills into law his first term. Still, weapons and especially ammo were selling like hotcakes, and I’m thinking my ol Gun Culture buds are a bit daffy as it were. This situation persisted throughout O’s first term regardless. ‘Oh well’ I think, same fools what thought Y2K was The End.

Then O decided to Out-Bush Bush with the WoT, adopting and going even further down the road of ‘tyrannical’ measures than the Cheney / Bush / Rumsfeld Cabal EVER had the cojones to try.  E.g. The NDAA, re-upping The Patriot Act, indiscriminate Drone Strikes, persecution of Whistle Blowers [ i.e. Bradley Manning, et al. ], and lawd knows what all else we don’t have a clue about given the gummint’s outrageous propensity for covert actions, not just foreign, but DOMESTIC, especially DOMESTIC. Just for starters.

Then O dropkicks that idiot ‘What’s ‘is Face’ for a second term, which was fine with me cuz I was for ABR. No telling what that One Percenter woulda done to US. ‘No never mind’ I think, since O had yet to take up the gun control cause in earnest. Regardless, there’s an immediate reaction in the firearms and ammo market similar to O’s first election.

This time though things really got tight with the ammo supply ridiculously short… already high prices more than doubled overnight, dealers started rationing sales to be fair to their regular customers, ammo came off the hand trucks straight into buyers hands, shelves hardly ever had stock on display, WalMart started restricting sales to three boxes per customer per day, not that it mattered since their entire ‘in stock’ ammo the last three times I was in one of their stores consisted of only 3-4 boxes of some oddball caliber. Their pretty decent sized ammo cabinet looked like yer local grocery store’s bread rack right before the Beeg Hurricane. Once again I’m thinking ‘This is ridiculous’. And it was IMHO… until a couple things happened…

First, along comes Sandy Hook, an y’all know the rest re: the major push for gun control, all kinds of gun control, ‘gotta have’ gun control, the ‘world will end’ without gun control… All ‘common sense’ stuff of course…  Except to the MUCH larger percentage of Americans than indicated by SIMPLISTIC polls that ONLY addressed the need for keeping guns out of the wrong hands, BUT completely ignoring the ‘devil in the details’ issues which are what REALLY killed the gun control efforts, notwithstanding ‘Not Relevant Anymore’s’ embarrassing rants [ to many of ‘us’ in the Gun Culture ].

While on the subject, here’s a News Flash fer Ya’ll…  They be a whole LOT more of US in the Gun Culture, who will resist with all Our might what we firmly believe to be any abridgment of Our Inalienable Rights, All TEN of Them, than the NRA in their widest dreams could EVER hope to squeeze Our hard earned cash from jes to line ‘ol LaPiss’airs pockets with.

What many of us didn’t know at that time was DHS’s insatiable, totally unnecessary, and indefensible NEED for HUGE ammo stocks. This only came to light recently. To Wit…

From…  not exactly yer fly-by-night InterNet rumor mill outfit…

1.6 Billion Rounds Of Ammo For Homeland Security? It’s Time For A National Conversation – 3/11/2013 @ 8:00AM

The Denver Post, on February 15th, ran an Associated Press article entitled Homeland Security aims to buy 1.6b rounds of ammo, SO FAR TO LITTLE NOTICE.  It confirmed that the Department of Homeland Security has issued an open purchase order for 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition.  As reported elsewhere, some of this purchase order is for hollow-point rounds, forbidden by international law for use in war, along with a frightening amount specialized for snipers. Also reported elsewhere, at the height of the Iraq War the Army was expending less than 6 million rounds a month. Therefore 1.6 billion rounds would be enough to sustain a hot war for 20+ years.  In America.

The author of this article notes that…

About 20 years ago this columnist worked, for two years, in the U.S. Department of Energy’s general counsel’s office in its procurement and finance division.  And is wise to the ways.

And continues…

Spending money this way is beyond absurd well into perverse.  According to the AP story a DHS spokesperson justifies this acquisition to “help the government get a low price for a big purchase.” Peggy Dixon, spokeswoman for the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center:  “The training center and others like it run by the Homeland Security Department use as many as 15 million rounds every year, mostly on shooting ranges and in training exercises.”

At 15 million rounds (which, in itself, is pretty extraordinary and sounds more like fun target-shooting-at-taxpayer-expense than a sensible training exercise) … that’s a stockpile that would last DHS over a century.  To claim that it’s to “get a low price” for a ridiculously wasteful amount is an argument that could only fool a career civil servant.

Here’s a comprehensive report on the ‘Oversight of the Federal Government’s Procurement of Ammunition’ hearing held by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform – Subcommittee on National Security on April 25, 2013… [ Link to full videos of hearing follow below. ]

DHS Spokesman Waffles Over Huge Ammo Purchases – Friday, 26 April 2013 17:00

At a hearing at the House of Representatives on Thursday a spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) did his best to defuse growing concerns about excessive purchases of ammunition for its 72,000 agents. These purchases were necessary, insisted Nick Nayak, because of training needs not only for his agency, but also for the U.S. Coast Guard (41,000 employees) and other federal, state, local, and tribal enforcement personnel (70,000) who train at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center (FLETC) of the DHS, located at the former naval air station in Glynco, Georgia.

An example of DHS’s obfuscation…

Nayak countered, insisting that reports from the Associated Press were completely untrue. “We have not purchased 1.5 billion rounds of ammo. I have no idea where the billion or over [number] ever came from.”

House member Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) jumped in:

You said you have no idea where the one billion rounds number came from? You’ve got to have some idea!

You’ve got four news agencies reporting this number. And here you are under oath [and saying that] you have no clue. Are they just making it up?

Nayak then clarified that the contracts did exist but that they were only to allow the agency to purchase “up to” the amounts specified by the AP, not that they were actually going to be fulfilled. [ Yeah Right! Hah! I’m calling ‘Bull Shit’ on that Sparky! ]

From the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform…  The Video Link for The Full Hearing Follows – in Four Parts [ Gavel falls at 6:45 into Part I ]

Oversight of the Federal Government’s Procurement of Ammunition – April 25, 2013

For your convenience I’ve noted the length of each Part. Not really expecting anyone on here to view the entire hearing, but if one really cares about the ‘FACTS’ straight from Our gummint’s minions mouths one might find all, or at least parts of it, quite interesting. I know I always do…  ‘;)

Part I [ 14:20 mins – gavel falls at 6:45 ]

Part II [ 1:54:37 hrs. mins ]

Part III [ 19:30 mins ]

Part IV [ 15:18 mins ]

For a one minute sound bite from Representative Jason Chaffetz (R-UT), who Chaired the hearing, and spoke on C-SPAN’s Washington Journal, April 26, 2013, about U.S. homeland security policy in general, but specifically re: DHS ammunition purchases… view from 27:40 to 28:35.

And for your reading pleasure here’s the DHS’s offering of typical gummint speak BS in response to their having to appear before the Committee…

Written testimony of DHS Directorate of Management Office of the Chief Procurement Officer, Chief Procurement Officer Nick Nayak, and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement National Firearms and Tactical Training Unit Assistant Director Humberto Medina for a House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, Subcommittees on Economic Growth, Job Creation, and Regulatory Affairs, and National Security hearing titled “Oversight of the Federal Government’s Procurement of Ammunition” Release Date:  April 25, 2013 Location:  2154 Rayburn House Office Building

An if’n that ain’t major fodder fer ol EFB‘s ‘Conspiracy theorists of the world, unite!’, ain’t nutt’n is… ‘;)

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The beginning of baby making

I have always wanted children…at least as long as I can remember.  Even with my first pregnancy, I originally did not want to be pregnant, but I immediately loved that baby the second I found out I was pregnant.  After that miscarriage, I had horrible fears about not being able to conceive or to ever be able to have children of my own.  Once I had known John for 3 months, I knew he was the one.  I knew I loved him, that I would marry him, and that we would make beautiful babies together.  It had been years since my 1st miscarriage, and even though I still had that fear of not being able to have children, I told myself that everything would be great.  John and I were soo happy.  We had great careers, we were doing well financially, we had a house, and we were so great together that we knew we would only get better once we started a family.  I felt confident and excited about starting a family.  I wanted to start right after we got married, but I could tell John wasn’t quite ready.  He is a slow mover and with new things that he has never done before, he is a little scared.  I knew he would be great once he got used to the idea of me being pregnant, but I still gave him a little time before we actually started trying.

I got off of my birth control pills soon after the wedding.  I had been on bc for over 10 years, and I wanted to give my body some time to get back to normal.  I believe it took about 3 months for my body to be somewhat normal.  I actually learned about mittelschmerz and how I have them–it’s the cramping like pain you get in your lower abdomen when you are ovulating.  I began reading some books that Larissa had given me about conceiving and I learned a ton about my body!  I didn’t even know about the 6 day fertility window and when it was.  I didn’t know about cervical fluid, or anything about charting my waking body temperatures.  I decided that we would just try to have well timed intercourse at first and if it didn’t work, then I would start taking it more serious.  Larissa was kinda obsessed when her and Damion began trying for Savannah.  She has ovulation predictor test strips (OPKs) and some thing she spit into that would tell her if she was ovulating.  I thought she was crazy and I told myself there was no way I would get that obsessed 🙂

John and I decided to start unofficially trying in January of 2010.  We just stopped using protection that month.  We were unsuccessful, so we started timing it better for February.  It was more all me though.  John was still nervous about it.  But it wasn’t like I was forcing him into anything.  He said he was ready…it still just scared the crap out of him.  February was unsuccessful though also.  I really had felt that we had good timing.  Man, having that much sex is NOT easy!  So I decided that March was the month that I would break down and start using the left over OPKs that Larissa had given me.

John and I met a couple online, Chris and Emily, in February.  I guess we just felt like we didn’t have many friends in Eugene that were in the same place in their lives as we were and we were looking for another couple to hang out with.  They have grown to be some of our closest friends and they are about to have their first baby!  Tyler Jewel is due at the end of August and we are very excited to meet him!

On 4/6/10, Damion and Larissa and me and John were planning on going to Chef’s Night Out at the Hult Center.  Aunt Flow (or AF as we like to call her on the Bump) was due that day.  I was very regular, so when I got home from work that afternoon, it was not normal for me to not have started yet.  So I had a digital HPT and I decided to take it even though you are supposed to use FMU (first morning urine).  I started getting ready to leave and almost forgot to check the test.  I had been so used to it being negative (okay, I know it was only twice, but it still sucked!) that I just told myself it would be again.  But when I looked, it was positive!!!  I yelled for John and he came into the bathroom.  He said, “Are you serious?”  He didn’t believe it and was in shock.  I was effing stoked!  I ran into the living room and showed Damion and Larissa.  Larissa was so happy and excited she started crying!

I was nervous about the pregnancy because I had done some research since my 1st miscarriage.  I have known that I was B- blood type since I donated blood in high school.  And I know that the father of the 1st pregnancy was A+ blood.  When I had my miscarriage, my doctor didn’t even ask about my blood type and didn’t say a word about a Rhogam shot.  Basically when a mother with negative blood type and a father with positive blood type conceive, the baby will always have positive blood because it is dominant.  The first pregnancy is normally not a problem, and the mother will get a Rhogam shot during the 7th month and shortly after birth.  This is because during birth (and sometimes during miscarriage) the mother and baby’s blood will cross and the mother’s body will create antibodies to attack the foreign blood type.  The Rhogam shot stops those antibodies from forming.  So since I didn’t get the shot, I was very afraid that my body was attacking my baby every second.  I had my 1st OB appointment when I was 6 weeks along.  Our doctor ordered all the blood tests and the antibody screen came back negative!  She had told me before the blood tests that I probably didn’t have the antibodies because I wasn’t very far along with the 1st miscarriage.

Everything else was going very well with the pregnancy.  I was due on 12/12!  The day after my birthday!  I was so excited for this birthday and Christmas–it was going to be a great December.  Once I hit and passed the 6 week mark, I was feeling much better, since that is when I lost my first baby.  I didn’t have too many crazy symptoms.  I got super bloated and even bought some maternity pants instead of buying larger regular pants.  I had almost constant nausea, I never threw up, but I constantly felt like I needed to.  I was hungry all the time and peed about a million times a day.  I was starting to get very excited and our first ultrasound was scheduled for 8w3d.  We had told my dad, John’s parents, our sibling and a few close friends that we were expecting.  We wanted to wait until after the 1st ultrasound to tell more people.

The weekend before the ultrasound was scheduled I started spotting some brown blood.  I tried really hard not to freak out because I had read that brown spotting can be normal.  It was red blood that you had to be worried about.  Well, that Sunday when I was at work, I went to the bathroom on my lunch and there was bright red blood when I wiped.  I left work and drove home bawling the entire way.  I just knew I was losing the baby.  I called the OBs office and they said to put my feet up, drink a lot of water, and if I filled up a pad in 1 hour, than to call back.  I actually didn’t bleed at all after that first time.  They pushed my ultrasound up by 2 days so I got in on Monday.  John left work so he could go with me.  When the u/s tech used the internal machine, we saw our little blob of a baby on the screen with it’s heart beating away!  We were so relieved.  The u/s tech told us the baby looked great!  She asked when my due date was again, and I told her, she said that the baby was only measuring at 5w6d and I should have been 8w1d.  It was an automatic red flag to me but she said not to worry because I could have ovulated late.  I told her I knew when I ovulated, but she said it was fine and maybe I ovulated twice.  When I saw my doctor after the u/s, she also had the same fears that I did.  She told me that either the baby would catch up and everything would be fine, or that the baby’s heart would stop beating and I would miscarry.  We made an appointment for the next week to check on the progress.

I started reading about similar situations on the internet and I actually started to feel a little optimistic after a few days.  A lot of girls on the December 2010 board on the Bump said that similar things had happened to them or people they knew and things turned out well.  I didn’t spot anymore and I was feeling better.  That weekend I started spotting again just a little bit and had a little bit of red blood again.  I realized though that it happened when I was trying to have a bowel movement.  Gotta love pregnancy constipation!  So I read about that and found some articles about how when you gear up to push out a bowel movement, that sometimes blood can pool in your cervix and then come out when you release.  And since I was noticing spotting and blood when I was constipated, I thought that was what it was probably from.

Just a warning, some of the information following can be disturbing and considered TMI, so only continue reading if you feel like you can handle it.

John and I went in for the next ultrasound when I should have been 9w3d.  I had a horrible feeling.  The ultrasound tech was quiet for a few moments and then told me that there was no heartbeat.  I was devastated.  John cried and that was even more heartbreaking because I have only seen him cry a few times since I have known him.  I decided to schedule a D&C for Friday.  I just wanted it to be done so that we could move on and so I could heal.  When I went home that day, John went back to work and I began to cramp and bleed a lot.  It was very painful and I began to feel the urge to push.  So I spent about 2 hours on the toilet and passed a lot of clots and tissue, alone.  I called the OB office and they said to try to save the tissue for testing and to come in the next day to test my HCG levels to see if I still needed the D&C.  John had to go out of town for work the next day.  My levels came back at 12,000, so there was still a lot of tissue left.  Soon after my appointment, I began cramping and bleeding again.  This time it was so much worse than the day before.  I was literally having contractions and was in soo much pain.  I wanted to go to the hospital or the doctor, but I didn’t know how I would get there because I didn’t think I could drive.  And I felt that if I called and by the time I got down there, it would be over and I would be down there for nothing.  I finally broke down after about 3 hours and called the OB office.  They told me to take some ibuprofen, but the pain did stop shortly after.  I was so exhausted after it that I fell asleep for about an hour or so.  When I woke up, I felt like I was passing more tissue.   I went to the bathroom and could feel that a large amount of tissue or something was passing.  I caught it on tissue and when I looked at it, it was grey tissue and a clear-yellowish sac.  I knew my baby was inside of that sac and I wanted to see it, but I decided I probably shouldn’t look.  I saved it so I could bring it into the OB office the next day.

John was able to leave work so he could go to the D&C with me.  I wasn’t supposed to drive after the procedure, so I asked Robyn if she could drive me because I didn’t know if John would be able to leave.  He met us at the doctor’s office and Robyn went home.  I didn’t want to have the D&C if I didn’t need it, but my OB said that I probably hadn’t passed all of the tissue on my own, so I decided to go ahead and have the procedure.  I only received local anesthesia which didn’t really help much at all.  I could feel her dilating my cervix and when she inserted the tool and started scraping the inside of my uterus and vacuuming out what was left of my baby, I began cramping immediately.  It was horrible.  I hope I never have to go through that again, but if I do, I will insist that I be put under for it.  A lot of women on the bump were appalled that she didn’t put me under, because pretty much everyone on there that I had talked to said they had been put under.

I was scheduled for a follow up appointment in 2 weeks.  In the meantime, I grieved and got support on the Bump.  I became a regular poster on the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board.  The women on there are amazing and they gave me so much comfort and support.  I only hope I was and am able to give them what they gave me.  One of the women even started a secret Facebook page so that we could all become friends on there and see pictures of each other and just have another way to get to know each other.

John and I usually go back to Nebraska every summer.  It has always been for a wedding, and this year we actually didn’t have a wedding to go back to.  John was dragging his feet on booking our flight and making plans so I got frustrated and asked him what the hell was wrong with him–we only had a couple weeks until we were on vacation.  Well, he told me that he correlated the Nebraska trip this year with the end of my 1st Trimester and how he was looking forward to going home and telling everyone we were pregnant.  😦  So we decided to take a trip for just the two of us.  We went to San Fransisco for a week and had an amazing time!  We went to an A’s game in Oakland since the Giants were away that week.  I also took a little time to write some names in the sand.  Some of the women on the M/C/Loss board had started a tradition of writing our baby’s names in the sand and taking pictures for each other.   And since we are from all over the country (and some women are in different parts of the world), it gave our babies a chance to visit new areas 🙂  We didn’t name our baby, so we just called it Baby Chess.

A month or so after the loss, I began to feel a lot better and ready to move on to TTCAL (trying to conceive after loss).  But I will save that part of the story for another day and another post.

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2 weeks post NAPA Round 2

Well Mikayla did great with the therapy, and after saying our goodbyes to the therapists and some new friends, we headed home with renewed focus and enthusiasm, and armed with some new ideas and exercises, and I might add, with Miss Mikayla in great shape!!! There is no doubt that having trained and experienced professionals work with Mikayla in a targeted, consistent, and intensive fashion for three weeks has had a number of benefits for Mikayla. If only therapeutic input of this kind was more available and affordable to children and families here, especially during their growth and development years. Thank goodness for those who contributed to our fundraising efforts to help towards the costs so that Mikayla could be given the opportunity to benefit! And there is no doubt in my mind that she has benefitted. Now it is back over to us, to continue to practise, and incorporate as much “therapy activity” into every day life…..continuing to strive towards achieving the right overall balance, negotiating the fine line between living in the now and providing the best physical foundations that we can for her current and future levels of independence.

You can make a difference by donating towards the costs of future intensive therapy for Mikayla, online by visiting her webpage at the registered charity The Developing Foundation Inc, by following the link http://www.developingfoundation.org.au/family/mikayla or by emailing us at teammikayla@hotmail.com for other ways that you can make a donation including cheque or direct deposit into her charity bank account.

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Saturday, April 12, 2014

How many bull sharks fit in one picture?

On our expedition to Fiji last year, I was fortunate enough to be able to take the picture below. We counted 34 bull sharks in this shot. Great white shark diving, cage diving, guadalupe Island

Now Mike "da shark" tells me, that Sam Cahir has thrown down the gauntlet and taken the following picture. I think he's got 36 sharks in this one. Best shark divecage diving Isla Guadalupe

While there is no shame in having a professional photographer like Sam take a better picture, I gladly accept the challenge and will try to one up this picture on Shark Diver's upcoming trip to Fiji.

We still have a couple of spaces open for May 2-11 and May 9-18. If you want to join us in trying to set a new standard for how many bull sharks fit into one picture, please call us at 855.987.4275 or 619.887.4275 email,

Martin Graf
Shark Diver

About Shark Diver. As a global leader in commercial shark diving and conservation initiatives Shark Diver has spent the past decade engaged for sharks around the world. Our blog highlights all aspects of both of these dynamic and shifting worlds. You can reach us directly at

Sam Cahir said...

Bring it on Martin, bring it on!!! ;-)

Shark Diver said...

If not on this trip, I'll just keep going back until I do. ;-)

tech diving said...

Wow so incredible i love it, thanks for publishing this many thanks for your effort in posting some good pictures.

buah merah said...

Nice blog, i like sharks


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Last week it was our class’s turn to manage the school. Our responsibilities were to clean the school twice daily and to help the administrators with daily routines of running the school.

Having done the job last term, we found it was easier to do it this time. A side benefit was that I could go out for a meal without having to ask the class director for leave. Many of us were responsible, Mr Hu, for example. However, in this entry I will condemn those who were selfish in our class. They stayed in the classroom while others were cleaning the school. Their excuse was that there were plenty of hands doing the job and that they had too much homework to do. Someone might believe they were diligent because they spent every minute of their time on their schoolwork. In my opinion, however, they were just self-centred. How could they have left their share of the job to others? Why should others have done it for them? I have no clue as to why they did not join us in the cleaning. The truth was that we all had homework to do and that nobody would ignore their homework. Who on earth do they think they are?

Many classmates have complained about those lazybones, but I would not point them out. What I have learned is that they are not worth making friends with and that they are not guys you can reply on.

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Candlelight Ramblings

I don’t know why I’m blogging about this. Unless it has something to do with that unfolded laundry over yonder.

I’ve been burning candles hot and heavy lately. The cooler temperatures and the lovely soft scents of homey things are especially appealing to me. I like the thought of hubby coming home to a warm looking home, seeing the flickering glow as he pulls in the driveway.

My all-time favorite candle is McCall’s Country Candles Fresh Apple. Don’t expect a cinnamony apple pie sort of scent, this is fresh and crisp like an apple should be. I don’t do cinnamony candles, unless I want to be cravin’ dessert all day long.

Meanwhile, I sit here, burning candles, playing photo editor, and listening to the rehearsal track of this year’s Christmas cantata, The Mystery of Christmas.

Do you have a favorite candle?

This entry was posted in Holidays, Homekeeping, Photos and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Candlelight Ramblings

  1. tressays says:

    I like anything harvesty. Apple, Cinnamon, Christmas Cookie, that kind of stuff. I don’t care much for the flowery ones.

    Hi Tressa, I was just reading your new post! LOL

  2. Donna says:

    That must be a soothing sight for your husband.

    I think the candle scent that I like best is bayberry.

  3. Donna says:

    Or it might be Hollyberry.

  4. Bobbie says:

    My favorite is anything clean like linen sheets or something like that. The fruity and the flowery mess up my nose. lol. But, I also like butter pecan pie that smells really really good and makes me really really hungry.

  5. heathertopia says:

    I like the ones that Tressa mentioned and I like French Vanilla, Coffee, pretty much anything that smells like a dessert or something baking 😀

  6. My favorite candles are Woodwick candles.

    I love the Pumpkin Butter, Biscotti, Caramel, and I can’t remember the other flavor.

  7. Applie says:

    My all time favorite would the cinnamon kind. It has to be a good quality candle, because some of the cheaper ones just stink. LOL I also like bayberry or any of the kind that smell like trees. 🙂

    I have been burning some too.

  8. FourHisGlory says:

    I love just about anything. I make candles for fun so I tend to have a lot of fragrances that I like. It also depends on what time of the year it is.

  9. Chrystal says:

    I need to fins a winter scent that I really like. During the summer I like Aquamarine

    I love it and when on sale I stock up! Now if I could just find a warmer, more wintery scent I would be in good shape. I can actually burn candles much more now because the boys leave them alone and are not as curious anymore.

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11 Jun 2014 . 7 min read

Meet the SHEROES - Komal Porecha

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Komal Porecha runs her own consultancy and design firm. She was a writer at Elle Décor and is a mother of twins. She has free lanced for ELLE (India), ELLE DÉCOR (India), What’s Hot ,The Times of India (Chennai) Retail Plus, The Hindu (Chennai), Ritz (a lifestyle magazine), and Ability (a magazine targeted at issues on disability) amongst others. In her first book ‘Bringing Up Your Baby’, Komal you everything you need to know about that challenging, trying, and fulfilling first year of baby care. In an interview with SHEROES Komal tells us what made her write the book-

What got you started?

Besides running my own Interior Design firm I am also a freelance writer. When the doctors found out I was carrying twins I was advised to give up my design projects. I continued to write though. When the twins were born I found myself stressing, obsessing, in utter panic most of the time. But in most of these situations I ended up laughing at myself; for the way I was reacting to the twins. Like there was the time I had not anticipated that the lack of sleep would tend me to make me delirious enough to forget five minutes after one of the kids had burped, whether he/she had burped at all! I realized I had become obsessed with the simple act when I found myself sitting cross legged on the bed at 3:30 am staring at both my children (who were blissfully asleep) wondering whether they had burped or not! Another time when I thought the colour of my son’s poop was a perfect shade of Ochre. One that would look brilliant in an outdoor bathroom in a tropical holiday home! I stayed up all night thinking how I could store it for reference later.

I started sharing these small incidents with friends, till one of them pushed me to put them down in a proper format and start writing a book narrating my experiences.

 Tell us more about Bringing up your baby. What was the motivation behind writing it?

So as the kids grew I started logging these incidents, my thoughts, experiences. I had no clue what would come out of it. I started writing with the thought that some day when the twins are all grownup they would be sitting together and reading the book over a beer. They would be reliving their childhood through the narrative where they would be able to visualise each situation from the descriptive details. An evening of bonding for them. And just that scene, right there, got stuck in my head. Legacy has various forms. This to me, is my contribution to them. Something they will cherish.

Another , very strong emotion that arose as I went through motherhood was the fact that the first year for any new Indian mom the first year of her baby is an emotional, physical, social and cultural roller coaster. Our current generation of mom’s is traditional in their approach towards many things and in the same breath we rather effortlessly disregard what does not work for us. We like living in the fast lane. We want to work, we want to party on Saturday nights, we want two holidays a year without the kids, (and two with the kids), we want to be involved at PTA’s, we want time out with our girlfriends…we want. We want it all.  We mean well, but sometimes we get lost in translation. As I saw friends go through similar struggles with their new found motherhood, I felt the need to reach out.

This book is a heartfelt attempt to reach out to all mothers who possess deep rooted Indian values and the exhaustive commitment to balance all personal, professional, social, cultural and religious responsibilities. The Indian woman on the forefront wears so many hats all so effortlessly that it appears that they come pre-programed. The transformation from a daughter to a wife to a mother comes with its share of challenges and allegiances. It takes time, patience, a few sacrifices and many laughs. Motherhood is wonderful. It is the culmination of the ultimate celebration to life. I learnt the obvious after completing a full circle.

Writing, Design and Kids, how do you manage to juggle it all? What do you do when you take time off?

In the last few years I have tried hard to figure whether I am the helicopter, passive, absent, strict or a yes parent. Till it dawned upon me that I am a good parent with a clean intent, tremendous commitment and a whole lot of love. I am neither perfect nor am I a super mom. I love my work almost as much as I do my kids. That neither makes me career obsessed nor negligent. I cherish my time out more than anything in the world. That does not mean I am an absent mom. I took a break from work for almost 3 and 1/2 years. I had imagined that I would get back to work 3 months after I delivered. That didn’t happen for various reasons. It took me time to accept that fact. The ride was rough. But having done so, having understood that I needed to give the twins the same commitment I had towards my work commitments; is gratifying.

Initially, I didn’t even have the confidence to go for a head shower leave alone go to work. Life was chaotic, unpredictable and exhausting.

Till I woke up one morning and decided to take charge, I realised I had to streamline things and work a routine for the kids. It took me a month, various excel sheets logging their feed and sleep timings to get them both to eat and sleep at the same time. As they grew I adjusted their playtime, food and nap time. This started giving me some amount of rest and  I started re gaining my confidence. I started by taking one project at a time. that gave way to the assurance of handling more. I have good help at home for the twins. And I keep flexible working hours. For someone who couldn’t crawl out of bed till 10, I now drop the kids and start my first meeting by 8:30 in the morning, This gives me uninterrupted work hours while the kids are at school. I am home by 4:30 and then hit the laptop or evening out with my husband once they are asleep. Which is by 8pm. They have an hour and a half of active, outdoor playtime in the evening followed by a shower and dinner. I don’t reach out for my mobile when I am with them and when at work I don’t fret whether they are ok. I have learnt to compartmentalize each important aspect of my life.

I moved cities post marriage. So I fly down to spend time with friends and family. I love holidaying with my husband. And time out on a day to day is half an hour of doing nothing, absolutely nothing! Staring into space and detoxing the mind.

 A piece of advice for all SHEROES out there

I am no one to advice. I am learning each day. I have broken into motherhood with much fuss and many a tantrum. But now that I have embraced the role with a complete open heart I love (almost) every minute of it. I love it because I get to exercise my mind, I get my time out with my husband and friends, I get “my space”. When I didn’t have that I wanted to run away from it all.

Staying organized helps tremendously. It makes things very easy. Sticking to their meal routines and time schedules even when we travel makes a holiday thoroughly enjoyable for us. We are not exhausted from the holiday. And what has tremendously helped me is taking a step back and redefining the perspective. Motherhood is all about love but not necessarily about emotion. When I reacted to situations with my heart rather than my head; I found motherhood overwhelming. When I adopted a light hearted approach; it yielded fulfilling results. Yes, motherhood is about adjustments, sacrifices and a whole lot of changes. But it isn’t the expiry of orgasms or personal aspirations. And yes, it is possible to strike that balance. It takes time; it is tough, but not impossible. So do not give up dreaming just yet.

Explore more on SHEROES

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    • Your expertise is greater than mine, I would never have known the sash windows were unusual. Certainly the kind of area where it could have been the local grocer’s.

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With photos by Vici MacDonald and poems by Tamar Yoseloff, Formerly is a beautiful little chapbook which is just £8.00 online – you can buy it here

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The Casualties - Resistance - CD

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Regular Price: $5.00

Special Price: $3.00

  • Description

    Punk is not dead! THE CASUALTIES have been the voice of the disenfranchised, the disillusioned and the dispossessed on this planet since their founding in the year 1990. With an impressive track record of eight studio full-lengths, three EPs and three live albums the band from New York City rose straight to the top of the US punk scene and sold hundreds of thousands of albums. THE CASUALTIES keep the spirit of early street punk as embodied by THE EXPLOITED, SEX PISTOLS and CHARGED GBH, which gained them a dedicated European fan-base as well. These street fighters are still angry and their forthcoming album “Resistance” takes up their fight against injustice, police brutality and the corporate onslaught. “Resistance” fuels the anger of undiluted raw Punk with crunchy riffs and anthemic chants, which is coupled with the precise energy from Thrash and a melodic dose of Rock. Kick it!
  • Stream the album

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    Band The Casualties
    Title Resistance
    Style Hardcore
    Detailed style Punk
    Catalog # SOM264
    Release Date Sep 14, 2012

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Lucy Adams in Gran Canaria - Sidewalk Skateboarding

Skateboarding news, videos and photos from Sidewalk Skateboarding Magazine.

Lucy Adams in Gran Canaria

Whilst we were out in Tenerife on the Route One trip last week, Lucy Adams and Emily Rafferty were just over the water in neighbouring Gran Canaria. Though not technically on a skate trip, they still found time to session the Maspalomas park and film a little edit. Have a watch below… Skateboarding >>

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Simon Willison’s Weblog

Each speaker gets five minutes to explain their research, with a human metronome banging a waste bin with a big stick after every minute. After five minutes, an eight-year old girl (last night, actually two twins) walks across the stage and says “Please Stop, I’m Bored” and repeats it until the speaker does indeed stop.

Ian Mansfield


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Stamford, Lincolnshire

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Burghley House - in St Martin's Without, Stamford

Stamford is a town in the county of Lincolnshire, England. It is about 100 miles (160 km) to the north of London. It has a long history, and has many interesting old buildings. The old town has been classed as an outstanding area of architectural or historic interest of national importance. There are two private boarding schools, Stamford School and Stamford High School. In 2013 a group of parents worried about education in Stamford started a campaign to make a free school there.


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Wesleyan University

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Wesleyan University, is a private liberal arts university in Middletown, Connecticut. It was founded by Methodist leaders and the people of Middletown in 1831. The university was the first college or university to be named after John Wesley, the founder of Methodism. Wesleyan is one of the three small New England colleges that make up the "Little Three" (or the "Little Ivies"): the others are Amherst and Williams Colleges.

History[change | change source]

Wesleyan was founded as an all-male Methodist college in 1831. In 1872 it became one of the first American colleges to let female students attend. Some of Wesleyan's male alumni did not think that letting women go to the school was a good thing. They believed that it made Wesleyan look bad. Wesleyan stopped letting women got there and from 1912 to 1970 Wesleyan operated as an all-male college. Wesleyan began letting women attend again in 1970. At that time many females had went to the all-female Connecticut College in nearby New London, Connecticut.

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Magnetic Letters for iPad/iPhone & iPod touch

simple easy, and good to using it interact with my son. very good app. Beautiful letters almost float on the screen.

  inally, you can have magnetic letters on your iPad/iPhone & iPhone touch. MagLetters allows you to make words using appealing magnetic letters, numbers and symbols. If you want to bring magnetic letters and a fridge wherever you go, this is for you!
It is also equipped with a phonic voice, which will help teach kids their abc’s and numbers while having fun. MagLetters will give you an amazing experience with what happens on the fridge door.

Release version 1.3
  • Facebook Connection: You can now post the images you create on facebook
  • New Look and Feel: It's now easier to change the letter set
  • Enhanced Performance: Moving letters around has a smoother transition

Release version 1.2
    New features:
  • support Korean (한글)
  • support background change
* return to original price to make it fair for initial customers! Thank you so much. I'll keep update this app to reciprocate your supports.

Coming soon, version 1.1!
    New features:
  • support iPhone and iPod touch
  • support iOS 4.2 including iPad
  • reduce the price!!!

    Jaey makes 'chef' using MagLetters

    • Version 1.2 is ready for sale on Feb. 1st, 2011 with major widespread blizzard in the Southern Ontario since 1993!
    • Version 1.1 is ready for review: Nov. 21, 2010
    • Ready for Sale: August 4th, 2010
    • RC version is ready (July 23, 2010)
    • Project started on June 2010.
    Contact us:

    • A few reviews of MagLetters This is very friendly thing for kids. Simple, easy, and good to using it interact with my son. -> Thanks!Very good app. Beautiful letters almost float on the screen.I ...
      Posted Mar 8, 2011, 10:07 AM by Sanghoon Lee
    • Making Korean words using MagLetters I captured a few video when my son Jaey was making a couple of Korean words using MagLetters:
      Posted Feb 1, 2011, 5:39 PM by Sanghoon Lee
    • New feedback from user Andrea says, "My son enjoys playing with the MagLetters app during long drives or when we are out running errands. Below is a link to a variety of apps for ...
      Posted Feb 1, 2011, 5:41 PM by Sanghoon Lee
    • 3-year-old boy, making words using MagLetters pple. Jaey (3 years old now) makes words apple, ant, alligator using MagLetters.
      Posted Nov 26, 2010, 5:09 PM by Sanghoon Lee
    • Top 11 in France After release on 2010 Aug. 4, MagLetters' highest ranking in France was 11th. It's kind of amazing, since I guess it might be coming from some place in Asia ...
      Posted Aug 8, 2010, 6:32 PM by Sanghoon Lee
    Showing posts 1 - 5 of 8. View more »