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Consol Energy Center will be topped off on Thursday

By The The Tribune-Review
Wednesday, Aug. 12, 2009

The final steel beam will be placed atop the Consol Energy Center on Thursday, one day shy of the first anniversary since construction crews broke ground on the new home of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Executives from the Penguins and construction manager P.J. Dick/Hunt announced today that they plan to join city and county politicians at a "topping off" ceremony at the Uptown construction site.

The $355 million arena is slated to open in time for the 2010-11 hockey season. It will replace Mellon Arena, the National Hockey League's oldest venue.

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Casey Gorman and Tim Palmieri

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The beautiful acoustic stylings of singer/guitarist Casey Gorman from 6:30pm til 9:30pm.
Tim Palmieri rocks the house from 10:00pm til 1:00am

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Start the year right (or left)!

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Woodbury Democratic Town Committee fund raiser

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The ‘Rainbow PUSH Wall St. Project’ interview

JJackson-600The Rainbow PUSH Wall Street Project will host the 16th Annual Wall Street Economic Summit in New York City this Wednesday through Friday. This year's summit – "Wall Street to Main Street" – focuses on access to capital, career development and labor. In this interview, the Rev. Jesse L. Jackson Sr., founder and president of the Rainbow PUSH Coalition and The Wall Street Project, talks about the Annual Economic Summit.

Kam Williams: Hi Rev. Jackson, thanks for the interview.

Rev. Jesse Jackson: Thank you, Kam.

KW: What plans do you have for this year's economic summit?

JJ: First, to gather people to discuss the new economic agenda. We just got through the political agenda with the inauguration of President Obama. Now, we have to deal with the economic agenda. No access to capital, needing more access to technology, etcetera. We want to call the banks to invest in America. In 2009, we had 600 black dealerships, today we have 200. We have lost TV and radio stations. We must re-strategize.

KW: Given that we now have an African-American president and black billionaires, is this a post-racial society?

JJ: We don't have a lot of black billionaires, actually. We are not in a post-racial society. We are a multi-racial society and substantially racist. We still need to access jobs and contracts – all those level playing fields are very much needed.

KW: What would you say is the No. 1 economic issue African-Americans are facing today?

JJ: Access to a jobs. Next, the recovery of houses lost when the banks targeted our homes and businesses that move our future forward.

KW: Do you see Wall Street as being at odds with Main Street, or can the 1 percent be a part of the solution for the woes of the 99 percent?

JJ: The 1 percent have received their needs through greed and lack of regulations – too few have too much and more have none. It's too unequal and unbalanced. The middle class is sinking. A dormant few are at the bottom.

KW: Thanks again for the time, Rev. Jackson, and best of luck with the Economic Summit.

JJ: Thanks.

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Old 09-23-2011, 06:50 PM   #30
New User
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 37

Originally Posted by rjw View Post
Has anyone tried the presto 23 qt pressure canner from walwort? and other places

$85, new...should hold around 80 balls or so? Has a gauge and possibly easy to fit a tire valve???

My question is long do I need to leave the balls in there to charge them up...? I recall reading somewhere.. 24 to 48 hours?
Here is the link. Walmart carries it and it's also available in Amazon. I wonder how well/long can hold air tight. It will probably work OK for a few hours _2-4 but then it might just go down. I guess if it doesn't work, I can re-use it for mother's day or... Xmass
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What's Happening

This is discussion archived from a time before the current discussion method was installed.

Korval: Removing this nonsense:

  • Back to the Future: Somehow, Marty and Doc always managed to turn their time machine into a reset button.

To qualify as a reset button, things have to go back to the way they were. And that never happens even once in the series.

Ununnilium: I don't actually watch Code Lyoko (younger siblings watch it in the background), so help from someone who does would be appreciated.

Inyssius: It features a literal Reset Button; that one kid (what was his name?) presses this big button at the end of each episode and says "Return to the past now", or something. There's a big white shockwave, and everything reverts to the way it was at the beginning of the ep. They seem to be doing this less now, though; apparently it gives the Big Bad power each time they press the button.

Ununnilium: There should be a trope for that particular variety of Reset Button where the Big Bad has partially or fully taken over made everything messed-up (occasionally, to the point of apocalypse), and defeating him makes everything all better, ignoring all the various damage that was done while the Big Bad was in power. New Doctor Who spoilers: The final two-parter of the first season subverted this, with the Doctor and Rose returning to space station where they'd destroyed the Jagrafess controlling the Human Empire's information (with the Doctor glibly explaining that humanity should zip back forward to where it should be), only to find it even worse off than it was before.

Red Shoe: As in every episode of the first half-dozen seasons of Power Rangers. I've got two thoughts on names: Bad Wolf, and Omega Thirteen.

Actually, on reflection, those both seem like they'd be better suited to something else. Maybe Who Needs Colateral Damage?

Kendra Kirai: Is it just me, by the way, who gets the feeling that Dis Continuity, Negative Continuity and Reset Button are all more or less the same thing? At least Negative Continuity and Reset Button?

Looney Toons: Dis Continuity is distinctly different — it is a fan/viewer reaction to events in a show, not a way of handling things inside the show.

Tabby: Reset Button is an occasional "because the plot says so" reversal of the episode's effects. Snap Back is the same kind of reversal with no on-screen explanation of why none of what you saw will have any lastin effects. Negative Continuity is what happens when most or all episodes of a show end in a Snap Back. Dis Continuity is completely unrelated. This question didn't need to be posted in as many places as it was.
Adam850: Check this out: [[PBF: Reset]]

priopaxis: isn't code lyoko more a subversion? The heroes there are being manipulated into hitting it _by the villain_,since it makes the villain vastly more powerful every time.

Cassius335: The heroes didn't find that out until part way through Season 2, mind you. And in one ep that Season, XANA takes control himself, allowing him to boost his power several-fold
Mister Six: Expanded the spoiler bit on the Doctor Who example. Please don't even say what episode a trope appears in as it can ruin the story by giving people a clue about what to expect. The best season 3+ Who spoilers should go BLAH BLAHDoctor WhoBLAH BLAH BLAH Martha turns out to be a Vulcan BLAH.
Janitor: natter-y stuff: To be perfectly fair TNG hits it far, far, more often.
  • Yes, but TNG doesn't do this so badly and actually has an excuse for doing so (there is no war going on and they are very close to home). Voyager should be the one Star Trek that shouldn't have kept pressing the reset button just like DS9, and yet they do.

Pro-Mole: I just had to link the whole "Superman reverses time" thing to Ass Pull. Just because it is. Reversing Earth's rotation wouldn't reverse time, but I don't need to tell you that...
Pro-Mole: What in frozel hell's name is that quote in the middle of the examples?
Korodzik: I don't understand why there is an image of a spaceship on this page.

Pro-Mole: It probably was this. A good illustration for this trope, indeed.


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I Thought I Made That Up
A character makes something up, but to their surprise it turns out to be real.
Better Name Description Needs Help Needs Examples

(permanent link) added: 2012-10-11 08:58:42 sponsor: StevenT (last reply: 2012-10-11 14:17:23)

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Jack: You were the one who played on the magic harmonica!
Charlie: What?! Magic harmonica?! I thought you made that up!
Jack: So did I!

Subtrope of Contrived Coincidence.

replies: 5

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Richard Thompson is a highly regarded British singer/songwriter/guitarist, admired for his virtuosity and his incredibly dark but brilliant lyrics. He began as songwriter for the British Folk-Rock group Fairport Convention before striking out as a solo artist (recording a number of albums with his then wife Linda). Highly regarded amongst his peers including [[Music/TalkingHeads David Byrne]], Music/ElvisCostello and Christy Moore, he has somehow avoided commercial success.

[[folder: Solo Albums ]]

* ''Henry the Human Fly'' (1972)
* ''Strict Tempo!'' (1981)
* ''Hand of Kindness'' (1983)
* ''Across a Crowded Room'' (1985)
* ''Daring Adventures'' (1986)
* ''Amnesia'' (1988)
* ''Rumor and Sigh'' (1991)
* ''Sweet Talker'' soundtrack (1992)
* ''Mirror Blue'' (1994)
* ''You? Me? Us?'' (1996)
* ''Mock Tudor'' (1999)
* ''The Old Kit Bag'' (2003)
* ''Front Parlour Ballads'' (2005)
* ''Grizzly Man'' soundtrack (2005)
* ''Sweet Warrior'' (2007)
* ''Dream Attic'' (2009) (a live album consisting of all-new material, its sometimes listed as a studio album as a result)
* ''Electric'' (2013)

[[folder: Albums with Linda Thompson ]]

* ''I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight'' (1974)
* ''Hokey Pokey'' (1975)
* ''Pour Down Like Silver'' (1975)
* ''First Light'' (1978)
* ''Sunnyvista'' (1979)
* ''Shoot Out the Lights'' (1982)

[[folder: Albums with Danny Thompson ([[Names The Same no relation ]]
* ''Industry'' (1997)

!!Associated Tropes:

* BadassBiker: The hero of '1952 Vincent Black Lightning'
* BreakupBreakout: Although he's not a superstar, Thompson is the best-known Music/FairportConvention member after Sandy Denny.
* ComfortingTheWidow: The plot of his song 'Woods of Darnay'
* ConceptAlbum: 1000 Years of Popular Music, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin popular songs from the last 1,000 years]] played in Richard Thompson's own unique style.
** Also ''Industry'', a collaboration with his longtime bassist Danny Thompson (no relation) about the effects of the growth and collapse of industry on British society.
* CreatorCouple: The years with Linda Thompson.
* DespairEventHorizon: "Withered And Died".
* DrunkenSong: Subverted by 'God Loves A Drunk'
* DualMeaningChorus: Seen in 'Shane & Dixie'. The chorus 'Fame and Love will never die' is sung at first as a quote from the titular Shane as a total sincere expression of his beliefs. By the end of the song (When Shane has committed suicide and Dixie has got married to a journalist) the lyrics become ironic as Shane is totally forgotten.
* EpicRocking: "Shoot Out the Lights" and "Night Comes In" among others.
* IAmTheBand: On his second solo album, ''Strict Tempo!'', Thompson plays all the instruments aside from drums, which are played by Dave Mattacks.
* IntercourseWithYou: 'Hokey Pokey', a song supposedly about ice cream with lyrics such as 'Some like it round/Some like it fat/Some like a poke or two'
* LyricalDissonance: Most times the downbeat nature of the music will match the lyrics, but he will often produce an upbeat tune such as 'Wall of Death' (a jolly number about a mutually destructive couple) 'Read About Love' (a upbeat song about a boy who ends up raping a girl through misconceptions about sex) and 'Bad Monkey' (a bouncy little ditty about drug addiction).
* NoHitWonder: No entries on either the US or UK pop charts. He does however, have two entries on the Billboard Alternative chart ("Turning of the Tide" made #30 in 1988 and "It Feels So Good" made #15 in 1991).
* OldShame: Largely averted, his first solo composition was the song 'Meet on The Ledge' for Fairport Convention. The song is still regarded as their unofficial anthem and is played as a concert closer to this day.
* PopStarComposer: Wrote and performed the scores for the 1991 drama ''Sweet Talker'' and the 2005 documentary ''Film/GrizzlyMan''.
* SelfDeprecation: In concerts he will often announce he will play a medley of his 'hits'..and then stand in silence for a minute.
* TakeThat: 'Mother Knows Best' was an attack on Margaret Thatcher. 'Fast Food Restaurant' was a dig at [=McDonalds=].
** I'm convinced "When We Were Boys At School"--a depressingly-familiar tale of a bullied child, but who grows up to become a merciless leader--is about Tony Blair.
** His latest album features 'Here Comes Geordie' - a particularly blatant TakeThat against Sting (born Gordon Sumner).
** See also 'I Agree With Pat Metheney', a live-only tune savaging (in hilarious fashion) Kenny G for overdubbing himself onto Louis Armstrong's 'What A Wonderful World.' "He does play sharp, but let's be fair/ He has such lovely crinkly hair."
* WorkingWithTheEx: ''Shoot Out The Lights'', made during the dissolution of his marriage to Linda. The supporting tour had Linda tripping him as he went onstage, and guitarist and fellow FairportConvention alum Simon Nicol, who was a member of their backing band, said that the first thing he would do was look for the exits.
** In the 2000's, their relationship as friends had been repaired enough that Richard appeared on Linda's 2002 album ''Fashionably Late''. In 2010, the two performed their first show together since 1982 at a tribute to their recently deceased mutual friend, folk singer Kate [=McGarrigle=], at the Meltdown Festival.


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Fan Fic: Platinum Angel
Platinum Angel is a Chobits fanfic, set after the series finale, in which Chii's twin sister Freya is resurrected by Abstergo Industries and turned into a superpowered robot assassin. However, the faint memory she has of her previous life causes her to reject this, escape and then end up being taken in by a teenage boy and his sister.

While technically a crossover between Chobits and Assassin's Creed, the plot and premise cleaves more closely to the former. Given the events of the fic's most recent chapters as well as of Assassin's Creed III, this work should also be considered very definitely AU where that series is concerned.

Trope page under construction; feel free to contribute more tropes as necessary.

While the one on is the main copy, the fic can also be found here.

This fanfic provides examples of:

  • Action Girlfriend: Freya. Definitely. And Chii when she is controlled by her sister.
  • Actor Allusion: In chapter 11, Freya can be noticed singing Lacus Clyne's 'Fields of Hope'. Both Lacus and Freya (and Chii) are voiced by Rie Tanaka.
  • Anti-Villain: Daniel Cross and most of his subordinates count as this.
  • Arc Number: So far, 9.
  • The Atoner: Daniel, who still tries to adhere to the Assassin's Creed despite his (however unwilling) betrayal of the Assassin Order.
  • Amazon Brigade: All the female persocoms can defend themselves and others spectacularly well.
  • Big Brother Mentor: A villainous example in Daniel Cross, whose idea of getting to his target is to recruit her boyfriend into their ranks and train him.
  • Body Snatcher: But at first it seems like People Puppets, until Chii totally becomes unconscious and Freya takes over her body fully.
  • Broken Bird: Being turned into the most dangerous persocom in the world did not leave Freya in good shape.
  • Carnival of Killers: What they send to retrieve Freya of course.
  • Cerebus Syndrome: The fic starts out with the familiar, lighthearted tone that Chobits was known for, but gradually shifts to the darker, more serious mood of Assassin's Creed as the story progresses.
  • Continuity Lockout: May induce this in readers with no knowledge of Assassin's Creed. Browsing the Assassin's Creed Wiki may help.
  • Continuity Nod: Contains several, for Assassin's Creed as well as Chobits.
    • Freya's inherited combat skills come from combat data derived from the Animus Virtual Training Program - more specifically, from the Animus sessions of the Abstergo agents as seen in the multiplayer mode.
    • The one responsible for upgrading and enhancing Freya is/was acquainted with Warren Vidic, the creator of the Animus. Also, the man assigned to hunt down and capture/eliminate Freya is Daniel Cross, the same man responsible for the near-decimation of the Assassin Order.
    • The hidden blades used by Demeter are detachable, similar to those used by Connor and Haytham Kenway.
      • For that matter, Freya's weapon loadout as of chapter 39 mirrors that of Edward Kenway.
    • Rei's favorite Animus Avatar is Vali cel Tradat, otherwise known as The Sentinel.
    • The events of the anime, such as Kojima's kidnapping of Chii, are referenced here and there.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: Happens all the time in connection to any battle Freya is even remotely in. And considering the amazing fact that she could also pull this off while remotely controlling Chii, who, by the way, doesn't have any of her enhancements or weapons, it's pretty clear. YMMV, but some of these could also fall under Crowning Moment Of Awesome.
    • This also counts for Ceres and Demeter as well. Those two are pretty scary.
  • Draco in Leather Pants: In-universe example overlapping with Evil Is Cool: Rei finds appeal in The Sentinel's backstory as a Tragic Villain.
  • Embarrassing Nickname: Zima to Dita, multiple times. Cue Luminescent Blush.
  • Evil Counterpart: Daniel to Freya, both having been taken by Abstergo against their will and then tampered with in order to serve their purposes. However, where Daniel eventually joined them, Freya instead rebelled violently.
  • Expy: Reina is an obvious one for Nena Trinity and, to a lesser extent, Flay Allster, while also containing hints of Marida Cruz in her backstory.
  • Fights Like a Normal: Freya, who fights almost exclusively using her hidden blades and the usual Assassin-esque repertoire of counter kills and executions, despite having access to both Super Speed and Combat Tentacles hidden in her ears. Also applies when she possesses Chii, though in that case it's less this and more Badass Normal considering that while Freya's fragment comes with all her skills, her enhancements don't carry over.
  • For Want of a Nail: Daniel's characterization in the fic essentially assumes that he regretted and/or resented having been turned into Abstergo's Manchurian Agent, not to mention his betrayal of the Assassins. This is especially apparent where, unlike what canonically happens, he spares Hannah when he raids their hideout.
  • I Just Want to Be Normal and What Have I Become?: Freya. Ironically, this does not stop her from slaughtering everyone in her way during her escape from Abstergo.
  • I Just Want to Be Badass: Which leads to...
  • Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: With the exception of the prologue, all the chapters have so far been titled after a phrase found in the chapters themselves.
  • Late-Arrival Spoiler: Mainly from Assassin's Creed: The Fall, specifically pertaining to Daniel and his backstory, with a few from the main games as well. One chapter even makes reference to characters like Subject 16, while also giving away certain spoilers about Ezio Auditore's story arc.
  • Mama Bear: Freya and Ceres
  • Motherly Scientist: Chitose Hibiya. Kotoko also becomes one later on.
  • Ninja Maid: In the story it was sorta- kinda with this trope. It was a shocker, but Ceres really can make you go running and screaming.
    • Her sister Demeter also fits this trope, the only difference between them so far pertaining to weapon preference.
    • As of the most recent chapters, Yuzuki also fits.
    • Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi are anti-villainous takes on this trope.
  • Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Freya fits this two out of four, being a persocom programmed with lifetimes of Assassin training. The 'zombie' part might also fit, given the fact that she already 'died' once and was 'reborn'.
  • Not So Different: Freya thinks to herself she might not be so different from Abstergo, considering she massacred the scientists responsible for what she was turned into.
  • Older and Wiser: Kojima, who despite having joined Abstergo and created Freya's Evil Counterpart also Took a Level in Kindness. Daniel may or may not also count.
  • Religious and Mythological Theme Naming: Aside from the canon examples Freya and Elda (Chii), the Assassin Order also seems to name its persocoms after figures in Classical Mythology. The only exceptions so far are Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi, and even then they may still count, having been named after figures in Japanese Mythology.
  • Robot Girl: It's Chobits. What did you expect?
  • Sibling Yin-Yang: Ceres is a Cold Sniper whose Weapon of Choice happens to be a Hand Cannon, while her twin sister is instead a Knife Nut. Freya for that matter is a superpowered robot assassin, in contrast to the usually gentle, innocent and childlike Chii.
    • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Freya and Ceres respectively tend to be calmer and more introspective than their more emotional, outgoing and carefree siblings.
  • Schoolgirl Lesbians: Only half of the pairing in question is an actual schoolgirl, though. The other half happens to be a certain gunslinging, Ninja Maid persocom.
  • Shipper on Deck: Demeter is happily supportive of her sister's relationship with another girl, and even exercises what she calls her prerogative as the older sibling to tease and embarrass her about it.
  • Shout-Out: to Cyborg 009 so far, what with Freya's serial number and her use of the eponymous cyborg's Acceleration Mode. Also see Actor Allusion above.
    • Itachi Yukishiro is an obvious Shout-Out to Naruto. In fact, his persocoms Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi are named after the signature techniques used by his namesake.
  • Superpowered Evil Side: Freya's fragment serves as this when possessing Chii. Just like in the anime, though, she's not so much evil as she is fiercely protective of her sister. Also somewhat subverted, as Freya in Chii's body is still weaker than she would be in her actual body despite having the exact same skills, if only because Chii's body lacks Freya's enhancements.
  • Super Prototype: Freya was already this in canon. Abstergo's upgrades take it Up to Eleven.
    • Flawed Prototype / Gone Horribly Right: They wanted to create an uber-powerful persocom assassin, and they did. It's just that the persocom in question reacted rather violently to what they turned her into...
  • The One Guy: Rei to an extent. Most of his friends are girls, and then you add Freya, plus Chii, Ceres, and Demeter.
  • Tomboy and Girly Girl: Freya and Chii, Ceres and Demeter.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Played for Drama.
  • The Unfettered: A character lampshades that since Freya isn't technically an Assassin, despite having been programmed with Assassin skills, she wouldn't be likely to bind herself by the Assassin's Creed. Earlier on, Freya even shows shades of this when she considers lashing out at obnoxious but otherwise innocent people she believed responsible for Rei's accident.
  • Weak, but Skilled: Freya's fragment retains all her skills while possessing Chii, but the lack of enhancements force her to fight more carefully than usual.
  • Weapon of Choice: Freya's dual hidden blades. Ironic, considering that the Hidden Blade was an Assassin weapon, and the ones running Abstergo happen to be the sworn enemies of the Assassin Order.
  • World of Action Girls: The fic appears to be taking this direction.
  • Violently Protective Girlfriend: One wild guess.
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Fanfic: Garfield in: "Along Came a Splut"
"Garfield is having a weird day while relaxing at home, and once a Splut comes along to spread chaos, it just gets weirder and weirder from there."
— The fic's summary

Garfield in: "Along Came a Splut" (or Garfield Has a Bad Day) is a Garfield Fan Fic written by one Bagel Brain (or Kilroy Smythe Umbrick).

The summary above is probably the most plot the fic has — what it does have otherwise is an incredible Random Events Plot where about a million references are made. Suffice it to say, it's probably one of the most nonsensical fanfics out there, and it's not easy to describe in words the madness it contains; it has to be read to be believed.

The story was eventually removed by the author, not long after admitting it was a joke Troll Fic and disowning it.

This fanfic contains examples of:

  • Acrofatic: Like in the comics, Garfield is quite nimble, and particularly strong here despite his obesity.
  • And That's Terrible:
    • The Trope Namer is directly referenced when Garfield runs over Lex Luthor, who was stealing forty cakes.
  • Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: Garfield becomes a star child in the ending.
  • Anti-Hero: Garfield.
  • Back from the Dead: Abraham Lincoln is inexplicably alive in the story without explanation, but is killed off just as soon as he appears due to the story saying he's supposed to be dead.
  • Baleful Polymorph: The Splut turns "Blade Runner" into a pony after helping Garfield, but the story says he gets better.
  • Big Damn Heroes: "Blade Runner" comes out of the blue during the car chase to give Garfield an extra boost of speed in order to evade the Splut.
  • Big Eater: Garfield is canonically a glutton, but he never ate three years worth of cheese nips in mere minutes! And he apparently has to eat every two minutes or he dies.
  • Black Comedy: The scene where Abe Lincoln is brutally killed off as soon as he appears by a shard of glass from Garfield's tv impaling him in the head, because he's supposed to be dead to begin with.
  • Black Hole Belly: Garfield eats three years worth of food in minutes with no change in form.
  • The Blank: The Pie is described as having eyes, but no expressions are described on it.
  • Bold Inflation: The word SUDDENLY just before the Splut appears.
  • Brain in a Jar: "Mama Bran" is probably this, despite not being described in detail, since she's obviously meant to be Mother Brain from Metroid.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Garfield does this twice in the story just near and then right at the end.
  • Brick Joke: Early in the story, Garfield roundhouse kicks Odie to the moon for being in his way. After the ending, it's revealed Odie is still alive, living happily on the moon.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Happens to Garfield when the Splut first appears. His bowels implode!
  • The Cameo: Subverted; a footnote mentions that The Ugly Barnacle was scheduled to make a guest appearance, but cancelled his appearance at the eleventh hour due to his ugliness killing his crew.
  • Car Fu: Garfield, while driving the Delorean, runs down Ronald McDonald, Fred Fish, Popeye Doyle, The Batmobile and Lex Luthor while he's desperately trying to escape the Splut. This eventually ends up slowing it down, however.
  • Chaos Architecture: Jon's house is somehow now located in the "magical land of Springfield", and it also has the Batcave located directly beneath it.
  • Contrived Coincidence: The story is full of these.
  • Cool Car: Garfield uses the Delorean for the bulk of the story. The Batmobile also makes a brief cameo as Garfield runs into it during the chase.
  • Cowboy Bebop at His Computer: Garfield plays Metroid in the beginning, which apparently stars a guy named Metroid, and it involves him saving the whales and resusicating the Mama Bran. Later, he encounters Blade Runner (as in, a guy named Blade Runner, who runs on roller blades).
  • Crack Fic
  • Darker and Edgier: A lot more morbid and dark than the comics.
  • Death Seeker: Ronald McDonald, after falling on hard times, happily ends his life of hollow product placement by letting Garfield run him over with the DeLorean.
  • The Determinator: The Splut.
  • Deus ex Machina: Practically a literal one at the end, when Garfield and the Splut encounter a Monolith over Jupiter, which fuses them both into a Star Child.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Garfield roundhouse kicks and throws Odie to the moon just for being in his way.
  • Dreamworks Face: Star Child Garfield gives one to the reader at the end.
  • Drives Like Crazy: Garfield during the car chase. He's so urgent to stay ahead of the pie, that he's willing to commit vehicular homicide.
  • Earth-Shattering Kaboom: Despite the story mentioning Superman living on Earth, Krypton is somehow still around—until the Death Stars super laser gets deflected by the Splut away from Earth, which the story says ends up destroying Krypton. The Death Star itself getting blown up also counts.
  • Epic Fail: The Death Star getting effortlessly destroyed by a flying pie.
  • Everything's Better with Monkeys: Subverted; Jon Arbuckle is involved in a horrible accident involving a baboon fused with a cat.
  • Eyeless Face: Subverted; despite being a pie, the Splut is described as having eyes.
  • Faster-Than-Light Travel: Garfield pulls this off with the De Lorean in space to try and escape the Splut, but it turns out it can do exactly the same thing.
  • Fire Breathing Weapon: Garfield finds a flamethrower conveniently sitting around Jon's house, but it turns out to be useless against the Splut.
  • Flat Character: The Splut is given no personality traits or clear motivation, no expressions, or even a voice. It's practically a force of nature out to harm Garfield and anything that gets in it's way, although the story informally describes it as sentient, evil and having eyes, and considering Garfield fooled it with an impossibly flaccid variation of He Went That Way, it's certainly not very smart.
  • Flying Car: The Delorean. It was already capable of this in the movies it hails from, but this story adds the ability for it to travel through deep space.
  • For the Evulz: The closest thing to a motive one can assume the Splut has, since the story describes it as evil.
  • Fruit Cart: Garfield deliberately avoids running these over during the car chase, due to him loving them more than life itself—but running over anyone else is A-OK.
  • Gainax Ending: Not that anything in the fic made sense before, but the ending takes the cake: Garfield and the Splut recreate the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey, up to the part where Garfield becomes a star child... who makes a Dreamworks Face and says "Drink more Ovaltine."
  • Generic Doomsday Villain: The Splut.
  • Get It Over With: Garfield tells the writer this when the light speed chase keeps escalating on and on.
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: The Splut. And during the car chase, a "Terminator flying machine" (presumably referring to an HK-Aerial Drone) comes completely out of nowhere and, for no given reason, begins chase. And then the Death Star appears...
  • Glass-Shattering Sound: Garfield plays Simon & Garfunkel (or rather, "Garfunkle") music at full blast, shattering every window in a five mile radius. Why it didn't break his TV is not explained.
  • He Went That Way: Garfield manages to fool the Splut by telling it he was elsewhere (pies don't have brains, after all).
  • Homage: A chase scene plays out "not unlike Evil Dead 2" (specifically, the scenes of the Evil chasing Ash through the Cabin).
  • Hollywood Cyborg: Jon Arbuckle is being rebuilt into the next RoboCop after an accident involving a baboon fused with a cat.
  • Hufflepuff House / Red Herring: The Batcave is mentioned to be directly below Jon Arbuckle's house, but it does not appear, since Garfield is unable to access it. And while the Batmobile does make an appearance later in the story, it has no importance otherwise.
  • Informed Flaw / Plot Hole: The story says Garfield has to eat every two minutes or he dies, but for the rest of the story he goes through at least ten minutes worth of crap with no repurcussions.
  • Insane Troll Logic: The story says that the reason Abe Lincoln is killed off so quickly is because he's supposed to be dead to begin with.
  • Jerk Ass: Garfield. Also, there's the matter of Superman using his heat vision on a doorknob Garfield is using, for no particular reason.
  • Kick the Dog: Garfield roundhouse kicking Odie to the moon just for being in his way.
  • Kill All Humans: The goal of the "Mama Bran" in the Metroid game Garfield is playing. In story, the Death Star would've done this to Earth, had the Splut not unintentionally blocked its super laser and destroyed it.
  • Kill It with Fire: Garfield finds a flamethrower sitting around the house and tries to use it on the Splut, but it only works for one hundred millionth of a second.
  • Killer Rabbit: The villain is a sentient flying pie!
  • Kill Sat: The Death Star.
  • Lampshade Hanging: A lot of the stories humor relies on it when it's not relying on its sheer absurdity.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: The story lampshades the irony of a flying pie trying to kill a glutton like Garfield.
  • Ludicrous Precision: The flamethrower Garfield uses only stops the Splut for one hundred millionth of a second.
  • Massive Multiplayer Crossover: Garfield, Back to the Future, Star Wars and many others all feature in the story.
  • Moral Dissonance: Garfield shatters every window in a five mile radius by listening to music, breaks Jon's TV and kills Abe Lincoln (the latter unintentionally), kicks Odie to the moon for a petty reason, eats all of Jon's Cheese Nips, snaps Doc Brown's neck for no reason at all and gives him a measly twenty bucks for the car and to pay for his broken neck, has no problem running down other people to escape as opposed to running down fruit carts—but we're still supposed to root for him.
  • Neck Snap: Garfield does this to Doc Brown for no reason whatsoever, although it doesn't kill him.
    • Truth in Television: Neck snaps are definitely lethal, but in real life they usually aren't instant kill moves like you see in most fiction.
  • New Powers as the Plot Demands: The Splut starts off being invulnerable, but then gets Super Speed and Reality Warping abilities as the story progresses, with no foreshadowing beforehand. The De Lorean also gains this by being able to fly in space and go past light speed (while it could fly and time travel in the movies, it was never shown or implied to be space travel worthy or to be able to go that fast).
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: The Splut unintentionally saves the Earth by blocking the Death Stars super laser and blowing it up from within (but unfortunately, also ends up accidentally destroying Krypton in the process due to the super laser splitting off when it hit the Splut).
  • Nigh-Invulnerability / The Juggernaut: The Splut is practically unstoppable in this story—not even the Death Star can destroy it. It takes a literal Deus ex Machina at the end to defeat it.
  • Not the Fall That Kills You: Garfield jumps out a window early in the story, but is unharmed—he does leave a crater where he landed though.
  • No Sell: The Death Star fires it's planet-killing super laser with the Splut in its path, and not only is the pie completely unharmed by it (the beam simply splits off into fragments on contact) it flies right into its cannon and destroys it from the inside!
  • Odie Can Breathe in Space: The ending says that Odie is still on the moon.
  • Oh Crap: Garfield when he first sees the Splut.
  • Once Upon a Time: The story begins with the words "One sunny day..."
  • Our Lawyers Advised This Trope: The story starts with a disclaimer saying it won't make sense unless you've read the works of Sigmund Freud. It's doubtful that it would help anyway.
  • Overly-Long Gag: The light speed chase escalation.
  • Ow, My Body Part!: Fred Fish screams his trademark phrase "MY LEG!" when Garfield runs him down while driving.
  • Open Says Me: Garfield tries to punch the door open, but fails.
  • Person of Mass Destruction: The Splut, although it's largely a proxy of him trying to kill Garfield.
  • Physical God: Garfield becomes this at the end.
  • Pie in the Face: Subverted; the Splut is clearly trying to kill Garfield here. Fortunately it doesn't get to hit him, but instead gets fused with him.
  • Pint-Sized Powerhouse: The Splut is a normal sized pie in appearance, but can do feats such as singlehandedly destroying the Death Star!
  • P.O.V. Cam: The story briefly switches to the Pie 's viewpoint during the chase scene.
  • Product Placement: Garfield eats Cheese Nips in the story. The story also mentions Ronald McDonald being disillusioned with his status as this. And at the end, Garfield tells the reader to "Drink More Ovaltine."
  • Random Events Plot / Mind Screw: The story makes no sense whatsoever. It's like the literary equivalent of a Youtube Poop.
  • Reality Ensues: Garfield runs down so many people in the Delorean trying to escape the Splut, that it inevitably slows it down, prompting Blade Runner to show up and give it a boost of speed.
  • Reality Warper: The Splut is implied to have shades of this, since it's able to turn Blade Runner into a pony on a whim.
  • Reference Overdosed / Shout-Out: Enough to get it's own page.
  • Remembered I Could Fly: Garfield remembers at the right time that the De Lorean can fly, and immediately takes advantage of it.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: The story misspells Mother Brain as Mama Bran, and Garfunkel as Garfunkle.
  • Sci-Fi Writers Have No Sense of Scale: The Batcave is mentioned to be 30 miles long in this story, and the climatic space chase goes over 100 sextillion miles per hour!
  • Sequel Hook: A footnote at the end reveals that while Jon Arbuckle was not in the story for several reasons, he is set up to become the next RoboCop. Since the story is gone now, a follow up is very unlikely.
  • Serial Escalation: The climatic past-Light speed chase. Heck, the whole fic is practically an exercise in how increasingly over the top it can get.
  • Series Continuity Error: Superman appears on Earth, but Krypton is somehow still around in the story. And even though Jon Arbuckle did get a life in the comics, here he is described as not having one.
  • Silence Is Golden: Despite the abundance of characters, there are exactly five lines of spoken dialogue in the story, three of which are spoken by Garfield, and only one of them is a full sentence and isn't a pop culture reference.
  • Short Story: Clocks in at 1,288 words total.
  • Stealth Pun: The pie is briefly described as having eyes, this making it pie-eyed. After the end, Jon Arbuckle is being rebuilt into the next RoboCop because he has no life.
  • Super-Persistent Missile: The Splut is this in villain form and taken Up to Eleven; it will stop at absolutely nothing to kill Garfield, and in its case, practically nothing can stop it in the first place.
  • Super Speed: Blade Runner can hit speeds of 100 mph, and both Garfield and the Splut go way, way past light speed during the final chase, enough to get a Lampshade Hanging from Garfield.
    "Can you give it a break, already? We've already broken every speed limit in existence."
  • Super Strength: Zigzagged; Garfield is strong enough to kick Odie to the moon, yet he can't even punch through a wooden door, but immediately after he slams the door shut "with a force that would make the Hulk look like it would take the strength of a man who could move a mountain to break a toothpick." However, the comics have occasionally shown that Garfield has bouts of this in the first place, but not quite as ludicrous as seen here.
  • Tele-Frag: Jon Arbuckle is absent from the main plot because he was involved in a horrible accident involving a baboon fused with a cat.
  • Took A Level In Bad Ass: The Splut in canon is an unexplained, recurring but harmless nuisance. In this story, not only is it evil, nigh unstoppable and capable of reality warping and super speed, It can blow up the Death Star.
  • The End: The story ends with the words Finis, which is French for the end.
  • The Speechless: The Splut.
  • Took A Level In Jerk Ass: Garfield was already a jerk in the comics, but he does things so amoral here, you wonder why you should root for him in the first place.
  • Troperiffic: The entire story is only 1,288 words long and has very little dialogue, but it has a substantial amount of trope filled content in spite of that, largely for its bizarre, stream of conscious narrative, numerous character crossovers and cameos and numerous pop culture references. It uses at least 116 tropes total, not including YMMV tropes.
  • Troll Fic: The author revealed it was. See trivia for more info.
  • Unflinching Walk: Or flight in this case; just after the Splut destroys the Death Star, it emerges unharmed from its explosion and immediately continues it's chase after Garfield.
  • Unexplained Recovery: The story says Blade Runner eventually got better after being turned into a pony.
  • Villain Protagonist: Meta example; "Metroid"'s goal besides saving whales is to resusicate the Mama Bran, who wants to kill the human race!
  • Visual Pun: The Blade Runner, who literally runs on roller blades. It also counts as a Punny Name.
  • Wave Motion Gun: The Death Stars planet killing super laser, which proves to be completely useless in destroying the Splut.
  • Wizard Needs Food Badly: Exaggerated - apparently, Garfield has to eat every 2 minutes, or else he'll die. This is quickly forgotten about.

The New RetconsFanFic/Newspaper ComicsGarfield Royal Rescue
Extended StayThe New TensHarry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

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Shower Of Angst: Western Animation
  • In the Code Lyoko episode "Routine", Ulrich takes a naked Angst Shower when he wonders if Yumi loves him.
  • Occurs in The Simpsons with Homer sitting in a tub, looking traumatized with wide eyes as he crazily scrubs at his skin repeating, "Still not clean, stink of failure still on me! Still not clean, Still not clean!" after the newspaper editor rejected his first draft of his food review.
  • This was also used in The Critic when Jay was calling around to find a date to a musical of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, where a woman he'd gone on a date with was still in the shower three days later.
  • In the Drawn Together episode "Requiem for a Reality Show", after Captain Hero degrades himself sexually to Foxxy Love in exchange for food, we see him sitting in the Shower of Angst eating cookies.
  • Parodied in a Family Guy cutaway, where Darth Vader showers in a depressed manner after a hard day at his job as a meter maid, and just before he resolves to apply for a loan to build the Death Star. On the commentary, Seth MacFarlane refers to the trope, saying every pretentious independent film needs to have an obligatory scene where the character "showers the pain away".
    • Parodied again when Peter the Strawberry took one after being "violated" by a worm.
    "He was my neighbor...and he violated me! Now I'll never know the inside of a fancy pie!"
    • Stewie sits fully clothed under the shower spray crying as he washes Rupert after learning that New Brian humped Rupert.
    • Brian does this when he finds out that the women he slept with the prior night was Ida, Quagmire's post-op dad.
  • Murderface does this in an episode of Metalocalypse after a gay doctor accidentally (or not) jerks Murderface off in his face and he goes into a state of paranoia about his own sexuality. Later mirrored in a still-shower-based Redemption in the Rain moment when Murderface finds out that it was the doctor, not him, who was gay.
  • In the Spongebob Square Pants episode "Squid's Day Off", Squidward goes crazy from paranoia after leaving Spongebob at the Krusty Krab by himself and tries to take a bubble bath to calm himself down. He ends up hallucinating while in the bath and seeing Spongebob everywhere.
  • In The Ren & Stimpy Show Ren who is exhausted from work, and Stimpy's nonsense, takes a bath in very dirty water, while wearing lipstick.
  • In the Regular Show Episode Muscle Woman, Muscleman, who is distraught after breaking up with his girlfriend, spends a lot of time crying in the shower.
  • South Park: One of the scenes opening "Ass Burgers" which show Stan with a disaffected, sad face have him standing in the shower, standing still just like this.
  • The Oblongs had this with Biff and Chip, who'd just caught their parents in a Primal Scene, going so far as to try scrubbing their retinas to rid themselves of the image.

Live-Action TVShower of Angst

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Total posts: [40]

Random Rage Comic Generator:

I swear this one was from the randomizer.
3DS Friend Code: 2681-0594-7489
 7 frog 753, Sun, 8th May '11 6:53:53 AM from CT and/or MA
Harkinian & The Bois
 14 Qmark, Sun, 8th May '11 4:38:13 PM from Canada, eh?
You probably should have used the provided permalinks.

 17 Qmark, Mon, 9th May '11 12:36:47 PM from Canada, eh?
Ted Baxter extraordinaire
[up][up]Ah, crap, you're probably right.
My in-progress MST series can be found here. Yay shameless self-promotion!
 18 foodbattle, Mon, 9th May '11 6:13:16 PM from Tahiti (it's a magical place)
The Prodigal Returns
Koo party brah.
Aww, did I hurt your widdle fee-fees?
 21 Master K, Mon, 21st Nov '11 12:02:33 PM from behind the screen, duh!
Adorably Plushie Doodler
What Girlfriend?

 23 Pipping Fool, Thu, 15th Mar '12 2:35:08 AM from Sydney, The Vivid City Relationship Status: Getting away with murder
On Holiday

That last face sums up my feelings

Randomized. I swear
That's Mr Banana Beak to you, fuzzy.
Darkness and Disgrace
It's just so perfect.

I don't know what happened, but I found it hilarious.
Save a webcomic, read Commander Kitty! "You got your head all tangled up, but if I could only make you care..."
 25 ABNDT, Wed, 21st Mar '12 6:08:11 AM from where you're not looking
You can't kill a stone....
This one kinda makes sense.

As does this.

You mumbling is disturbing the patrons.

Some people just aren't photogenic.

Dad, you're a perv.

edited 21st Mar '12 6:09:09 AM by ABNDT

Panhandling sign glued to hands. Need $5 for solvent.
Total posts: 40

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Main/GuyOnGuyIsHot found in: 174
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Since January 1, 2012 this article has brought 2,546 people to the wiki
from non-search engine links.

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Bewitched back to reviews
Imagine if a Dursley married a Weasley.
Lets face it, Bewitched is the runner up in the Reactionary Fantasy race, following closely behind I Dream Of Jeanie. And while Samatha never had to call her husband "master" over and over it still is unnerving to see a bright intelligent woman tip-toe around her husband because he doesn't like her magical heritage.

Unfortunate Implications abound ranging from racism to misogyny. Darrin whoever he is gets creepier and creepier every time I watch. He constantly threatens Samantha and later on Tabitha whenever they use witchcraft and tries to isolate them from her side of the family because he disapproves of their lifestyle. He also tries to keep her away from his business meetings because he is ashamed of her.

Is he really that insecure in his manhood that he has to make sure his wife is totally powerless? And how many times could have something be simply resolved by magic if he had just let her in the first place? All this get filtered through Alternate Character Interpretation s in my head and results in me cheering for Samatha's family who seem to be hell bent on saving her from an abusive and suffocating relationship. He father once actually pointed this out What The Hell Hero style and suddenly became my favorite character.

I know it was a very different time and everything but this show makes me sick to my stomach when I watch it. We may not have come very far in terms of gender equality but personally I am so grateful to be born a generation or two after this sort of TV was made.
In order to post comments, you need to Get Known
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Irony Man

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Irony Man Mk II

Early prototype Irony Man suit.

"No really....I AM Irony Man...."

“I do think that the storylines that I wrote for Irony Man are quite unique within the genre...”
~ Irony Man

Irony Man is a fictional superhero who appears in comic books published by Marvel Comics. The character debuted in 1963 at a time when writer-editor Stan Lee was desperate for a superhero who didn't wear his underwear on the outside of trousers.

Born Anthony Snark (but usually called Tony, or occasionally "Ethel" at weekends) an industrialist playboy, bon vivant and ingenious engineer who suffers a severe heart injury during a kidnapping in which his captors attempt to force him to build a weapon of mass destruction. Instead he creates a powered suit of armour to save his life and escape captivity, thus using the very technology his captors hoped to benefit from to destroy them.

Tony Snark, the head of Snark Industries, a major military contracting company he inherited from his deceased father, acts as a figurehead for the company while his father's old partner and trusted confidant, Juan K. Stain, takes care of day-to-day operations. Whilst on a whoring trip in Asia Tony is captured by terrorists who seek to use his genius to device deadly weapons of destruction that would make George Bush weep like a baby.

Instead, during his three months of captivity, Snark secretly build a crude suit of armour powered by a miniature cat/toast reactor. Upon its completion he destroys everything in a ten mile radius in a totally un-American way. Spending his time in contemplation he realises that he is a big, filthy rich, womanising jerk, and endeavours to become a big, rich, womanising jerk in an armoured killing machine.

Focusing on changing his life around and becoming a better, more responsible person, he uses his knowledge and technology to build an improved suit whereupon he actively seeks to eradicate much of the arsenal of weapons created by his company which are now in the hands of terrorists. At the moment he begins to realise these goals his old friend and mentor Juan K. Stain turns out to be a shite of massive proportions, having used Snarks technology to make a bigger, badder, armed to the teeth suit which he uses to kick the crap out of everyone.

Somehow, and against massive odds, Irony Man overcomes defeat and emerges the victor.

Romantic Interest

It is evident that Tony Snark suffers from a rare condition called Alliteration Fetish, a condition so rare that it only occurs amongst superheroes within the Marvel Universe where they can only date women with names such as Fanny Flaps and Juggs Johnson. A renowned playboy, Snark has had more female companions than Howard Hughes and Hugh Hefner combined, only to eventually discover his feelings for his personal assistant Perky Punctuation, his “perfect partner” who had been right under his nose the whole time.

Thematic Origins

Like other Stan Lee co-creations in the early years of Marvel Comics, such as The Fantastical Five and The Rhetorical Hulk?, the Irony Man story, in its original manifestation, was an exploration of literary devices coupled with badly drawn comics. In an interview in 2012 Stan Lee stated that he intended to create a superhero that nobody would like, a capitalist playboy who's jet set lifestyle would be so far removed from the ordinary lives of the average comic reader that there would be no chance for the character to become popular.

See Also

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HowTo:Make Cheesy Sci-Fi

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Let's put this straight. Science fiction is to science as mongoose is to a goose (in fact, this is a bad example as both of these animals are vertebrates). Through the ages of human History, there were always people trying to predict the future. Those were called prophets, fortune tellers, alchemists, witches, quacks, whores and so forth, and properly dealt by being roasted at the stake. Then, in a certain moment between the XVIII and XIX centuries, poof, there appeared Science. Tarot cards were suddenly replaced by Bunsen burners, microscopes and test tubes. So where has all that fun gone? (The fun of predicting the future, not burning people alive). After trying romantic poetry, Lady Mary Shelley appeared with a solution, in 1816: science fiction!

Why Cheesy?

In the year 2466, Viagra is a forgotten relic from the past. This is how men's menopause is solved.

It's inevitable - science fiction is just like milk: sooner or later, it always becomes cheesy. Sure, science has evolved a gazillion, but predicting the future by just imagining what will happen with the current technology does not work much better than ripping open a chicken and staring at its entrails. Of course, logic and taste are things we may easily predict that will not be extinct sometime soon. But you may also predict that logic and taste will continue being out-of-reach of the average human being in the eras to come. Here goes some other advantages of cheesy sci-fi over regular sci-fi:
  • You may earn some bucks by selling your plot;
  • You may see your idea being filmed by Hollywood;
  • By having your idea in movie theaters, Average Joes around the whole world will start imagining the future as you, ahem, "predicted";
  • You will considered a demi-god at fan-base cosplay conventions;
  • You may have an entire religion based on your plot;
  • You may earn much more money by action-figures and Halloween costumes;
  • Damn, you really can place your hands at big money then!!!
  • You will not impress the chicks but, huh, see above topic.

Lesson 1: Sci-fi and Science

Who needs science? We use skirts and egg-hats. That's a lot more impressive than physics, I guarantee.

You know, science is cool but it nevertheless has lots of annoying stuff that could ruin a good sci-fi script, such as reality, laws of physics and reasoning. So, here goes a list of smart-ass gibberish you have to ignore while producing your own blockbuster-merchandising-money-maker cheesy sci-fi:

Boring Laws of Physics You Have To Ignore

  • Gravitation: The strength of gravitational attraction between two objects (e.g. you and a planet) is proportional to the product of their masses, and inversely proportional to the distance between them. Hence, one would expect that in a galaxy with different sized or different density planets, the gravity one experiences would vary from place to place, no? In fact this is not true. In Sci-fi all gravity is a universal constant: 9.81 m/s², the same as it is on Earth (surprise surprise!). Consequently...
  • Lack of Gravity on a Space-ship: ... not only is it 9.81 m/s² on every planet you will ever visit, it is the exact same rate on every space-ship, including those which are nowhere near any planets. See also: Must Haves - Artificial Gravity Fields
  • Sound does not propagate in a vacuum: hell, all of those years developing Dolby Surround Stereo Sound systems for what? Where's the fun in looking at a huge freaking explosion in utter silence? Those damn big spaceships are supposed to and will make lots of noise! Picture Luke Skywalker shooting those red lasers at tie fighters in "A New Hope", sounding just like a cotton ball falling on a shag carpet. Or the Enterprise going really, really fast, but not making a "whoosh" noise when it goes into warp. How are you supposed to tell it's going fast if it doesn't make a "whoosh" noise? So forget about this "no sound in a vacuum" stuff. Period.
  • Fire does not burn in a vacuum: again, this "vacuum" thingy is only causing problems. Dammit, seems like nothing can happen in there! Such a boring place, isn't it? So let´s do something about it and brighten up that gloomy void by spreading explosions all over the space - big, napalm ones, with whole planets just turning into dust in a matter of seconds and spaceships going up like Roman candles, right in front of your eyes.
  • Theory of Relativity: Einstein showed nothing can go faster than the speed of light. That means it would take centuries for space wars to be fought. But you don't have that kind of time; when they're attacked, Earth must respond with a strike on the alien home-world before the next commercial break. And of course, the theory of relativity also says that light, radio, and so forth only travel at the speed of light, so there are substantial delays when communicating between a planet and a spaceship in orbit, and it would take hours to transmit a distress call from Jupiter to Mars. But even when they are light years apart, your characters should carry on conversations with less time delay than the average phone call. That Einstein guy might have been a nice guy with neat hair, and maybe he had some clever ideas about science, but he clearly does not know the first thing about writing good stories. Fortunately, nobody understands what the hell he was talking about, so you can easily ignore everything he said. Go ahead and travel two billion light years to Andromeda and come back the next afternoon just in time for tea.
  • Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle: This principle states that it is impossible to know the position and speed of a particle at the same time, because knowing one will change the other. It also has something to do with cats and boxes, but that's not important. What IS important is that this Principle technically means that you can't have a teleporter, which is a necessity (see below). To get around this, have a Heisenburg Compensator built into your teleporting-machine. Don't worry, there is no need to explain how the Compensator functions. If an annoying scientist asks you how it works, simply reply; "Very well, thank you."

Boring Laws of Physical Chemistry You Have To Ignore

  • First law of thermodynamics: energy is not created out of nothing. In fact, energy is constant, it can't be created, just transformed. The sun fuses its atoms, producing sun beams that the plants absorb and transform in sugar and cellulose, which in turn animals eat and turn into meat. Matter is just a form of very concentrated energy (e=mc², now you know what this means). But let's make a deal: you have never read the previous sentences. People can act as power houses and that alien grub can turn into an whale-sized caterpillar without having to eat the corresponding energy in human flesh (hmmm... on second thought, maybe this is not that boring).

Boring Laws of Biology You Have To Ignore

  • Theory of Evolution: you are free to invent alien creatures the way you want, without considering the ecosystem they live in. Any space-parasite from another galaxy is able to invade a human body and mutate it, even if the little bugger has originally evolved to invade some form of four-eyed reptile (reptile!) from its own planet. Enzymes and antibodies don't apply to germs from a far-away galaxy or an acid-blooded alien fetus that grows in a man's chest. Female aliens will always have mammaries, even if they are reptile aliens. Alien reproductive organs are also compatible with human reproductive organs, making it possible for the hero to get some nookie even when he's 20,000 light years from home. These intergalactic hook-ups are also capable of producing offspring, as opposed to the more likely scenario of producing a burning sensation as your antibodies freak out at the space ho's alien biology. Even more fundamental to ignore than reproduction, is the general shape of your non-Earthlings. Basic evolutionary theory says that other bipeds are unlikely to the point of effectual non-existence. Oh, and if you decide to be "realistic" and have bipeds, you might as well go all the way. The facial arrangement of two eyes, two nostrils and a mouth found on nearly all Earth creatures comes from an ancient common ancestor. Again, evolution makes this essentially impossible. But you can ignore that, or better yet, claim that your universe is the one where all creatures are both bipedal and have identical features to humans! You can even have naked women with hair on their butt on an Arctic world!
  • Practical stuff: how many weird costumes can fit in your budget? How many actors do you have willing to act heavily dressed? For this reason, every habitable planet in the universe must have at least one intelligent species that is always mysteriously ludicrously similar to a human being except for the pointy ears/antennae/funky forehead.
  • Ecology. Plants are not necessary for oxygen. A planet can be entirely covered by cities, snow, or desert, and still have enough oxygen to support life.
  • Basic Medicine: The starship's doctor can always fix 135 different species worth of crewmen, despite the fact normal MD's on planet Earth in 2007 can barely handle the problems presented by a handful of races from one species. Vulcan blood is no obstacle! Just ask Spock and his dad.
  • Quality of Medical Care: Strangely, in the supposedly egalitarian future, the quality of medical care will depend on your status. Starship captains can recover from everything from parasites to laser burns and still have health enough to recover from a beating with some strangely phallic piece of foam from the prop department. With about five minutes of recovery time, ranking officers are bouncing around like baby bunnies in late spring. Expendable crewmen? Wow! Don't become an expendable crewman. Utter some lines, or your ass is done for, Cochise. This is how the egalitarian culture of the future expresses its equality: slaughtering low-ranking personnel faster than a Soviet infantry wave attacking a Nazi machine gun nest. Life for the foot soldier of the future makes the darkest day of Korean War look like a trip to Space Camp courtesy of the TV show Double Dare.

Boring Laws of Economy You Have To Ignore

  • Pretty Much Everything: A villain can build a planet-sized fortress out of nothing and not have to declare on his income taxes where he got all the cash. Aliens can create an army of clones so powerful that they could take over the entire Republic, but are content to sell their immense army for a nominal fee (paid well in advance, unknown to the organization that paid). Armies can build a city-sized floating platform and not worry about gas consumption (fortunately, Greenpeace is no big deal in the future). You never see a hero worrying about his delayed payment (cash transfers can be a real pain when you are in a distant galaxy). In fact, money seems to be infinite for everyone. And in the future, real work, that is, the type of thing that is so boring or unpleasant you have to pay people to do it, does not exist. There are no janitors, cooks, maids, accountants, management consultants, real estate brokers, or morticians in space. Everyone has an awesome job like being an Interstellar Space Marine, Rebellion Commando, Princess, Intergalactic Bounty Hunter, Starship Pilot, Galactic Senator, or a Doctor Specializing in Alien Diseases.

Lesson 2: Must Haves

Not everything listed bellow is per se cheesy. But if you manage to feature all of them at the same time, you will surely come out with something sweet.

Sci-fi golf3

Squidzoider and Mollusca are attacking! Those damn invertebrates, how can they stand still? And even drive a car? Frightening.

  1. Artificial Gravity Fields: It is obviously impractical to float around your spaceship, so all craft have an Artificial Gravity Field fitted, so you can walk around it normally. See Boring Laws of Physics you have to ignore above.
  2. Pills: in the future pills seem to have a special role in the everyday life (hey, it could be a near one). In pills you'll find food, love, cure for cancer, and even a portal to a unknown parallel world you couldn't see before.
  3. Bad Holograms: with all that technology to build spaceships, lightsabers and videophones, nobody is capable of developing a hologram device that really works. "C'mon, what is that blurry blue fog movin' on the Captain's control room? Is the wrathing Khan hologram saying we will perish? Really? Oh, I just thought I had too many tequila pills, sorry, carry on".
  4. Mechas: your plot will probably revolve around a rebel small force totally outgunned. So they must be able to win with clever tricks such as stretching a rope on enemy's path, don't you think so?
  5. Energy beams: actually, you may not call them lasers. Everyone knows lasers don't work as weapons. So re-dub them tractor beams, atomic blasters, plasma beams, particle beams, phasers, greasers, chasers, blazers etc. And don't forget one thing: they will act as tracer bullets, and when fired will travel no faster than a thrown tennis ball.
  6. Teleporters: in the future, nobody seems to care about being disintegrated - that is, vaporized, killed atom by atom, vanished from existence - and having a clone created somewhere else. For some reason you can transport people but not bombs. Great budget saver because you dont't have to animate all those spaceship landings.
  7. Automatic Translators: Language is an obstacle for any space explorer, no doubt about it. Aliens speak among themselves, they laugh, they cry, they snort, they make clicks, they use telepathy and our poor hero can't understand. Is that fair? How is he going to catch an alien babe? How is he going to have a philosophical discussion with the energy entity that is giving him the gift of the sacred secret power? He needs an automatic translator. A kind of translator that understands any noise or silence as perfect words. And the translator is so magic that everybody moves their mouths as if speaking perfect English. Or the language you choose. Without problems like when a mollusk alien comes saying "I wish for peace", and someone pointing him the way to the bathroom.
  8. Control panels with aleatory blinking unnamed buttons: they blink slow, things are fine. They blink fast and bleep, oh-oh, we have a problem. Buttons are colorful, squared, rectangular or round with one thing in common: absolutely no labels! You will need a Chinese or a black person on a tight spandex to read that control panel on a blink of an eye (or button). There you go.
  9. Aliens: they didn't contact us in the previous 120,000 years, but in the next few decades, there's no doubt: we will find them. Lots of them. And their intelligence and technology will surely be compatible with ours: no retarded aliens, please.
  10. Mollusk-like Aliens: can you remember the very first time you saw a tentacle ridden with suction cups on your plate? "Mommy, what's that?". "An octopus". "Yaaay!". Yes, mollusks are scary and, in another case of outer space convergent evolution, aliens (the bad aggressive ones) must look like they were floating on the sea, eating plankton, despite being totally capable of breathing air and keeping upright and not dropping when on land, as the mushy oozes they are. Yeah, they taste good with lemon sauce, but most of all, mollusks are ugly indeed. Being ugly helps the readers root for their Gruesome destruction.
  11. Subterranean Civilizations: the mole-people. They do exist, it's a fact, carving tunnels under the earth, with their greasy skin and small blind eyes. Those guys are bad, not as bad as the mollusks, but they have something terrible in mind. Always the same evil and dirty (he he) plan: To take the surface (where they are totally defenseless) and turn all the people from above into slaves.
  12. Paranormals: the future is the paradise of faith healers. Science will finally bend and recognize the value of Spiritism, vital force, psychokinesis, prophecy and sheer magic.
  13. Spandex: You're not really into the cheesy sci-fi spirit if you don't put the entire cast on spandex.

    This is tight. Tight enough to save the galaxy!

    Tight clothing is a really important detail to keep the audience satisfied. Hey, sure, the main hero has a protuberant tummy (excess bacon pills, his badness), but believe me, this is no issue. The hero may look less manly? Hell no! Think about the girls on spandex. Just picture them running from a crazy orange octopus, in slow motion. Bouncing. See, that's the beauty of it!
  14. Old wise people and a kid that is the "chosen one": Yeah, old geezers know everything there is to know. They speak in riddles, always near a campfire. They read the future through bird bones, and also have no teeth. Despite that, everybody takes seriously what they say. You should too. Now, the "chosen one" has to be an annoying little brat that refuses his "chosenoneness" but in the end, will see the meaning of his powers and finally save the day (consequently, the universe).
  15. Monarchy: Kings, princes, emperors. Royalty makes everything noble on a cheesy sci-fi. As the states and countries disappears, the planets become whole nations, where everybody speaks the same language on a place with 550 billion inhabitants, and obey only one lord. 'Tis amazingly simple.
  16. Robots. Robots are faster than humans, stronger than humans, and smarter than humans, but they will be told what to do by the inferior humans. Robots which do not know their place are automatically evil, and want to destroy/enslave all humans.
  17. Invincible Foes, for example an unstoppable alien race, an overwhelmingly powerful space ship, or a weapon capable of destroying entire planets. These invincible enemies always have a single weak point which, when attacked, will result in their total defeat.
  18. Slavery: if it is just for the clones, which are basically just twin brothers of someone else, no big moral issue is raised. The abolitionist movement was never heard of in the universe of cheesy sci-fi.
  19. Alien liquors: After Galactic War 7 is averted, you need a fine drink to toast the megasafety of the system cluster over. I'd recommend a brilliantly transparent bottle of Alturian Blue-Ale, circa GY14,763. Cheers!
  20. A little girl who helps the protagonist in a battle. Everyone needs one of these. They, for some reason, are always there, throwing the good guy a knife, right when it looks like he's dead.
  21. Space babes: Honestly, you can't expect someone who just saved the known universe/galaxy/earth/the federation from certain doom to play doctor with someone his own species. You need chicks/guys with pointy ears or three jugs (or two schlongs). Or green skin. Or a tail. Or all of previous. Who knows? He/she's an alien. Preferably the kind who needs to be taught how to kiss.

Lesson 3: Must Haven'ts

Shropshire Cheese

Golden rule: absolutely no cheese!

Utterly uncool stuff that, for the glory of progress, will eventually be extinct in our brilliant future:
  1. Alien ambassadors, who travel from one place to another without incident. Dude, if some alien diplomat steps on your starship wanting a lift to some peace conference, expect hella trouble.
  2. Hot Alien Chicks, who know what a "kiss" is. Apparently they rely on humans to teach them.
  3. Cheese: except on pills. Camembert considered acceptable only if necessary.
  4. In fact, all edible-looking food. Alien food is fine.
  5. Ordinary pets: absolutely no dogs, no cats and no parrots (hmm... the latter maybe for space pirates, but it has to be half robot.) Just three-eyed purple monkeys, slugs, cuddly spiders and Pokemon-like creatures.
  6. The wheel: made obsolete by rockets and levitation (but people will still ride animals).
  7. Gunpowder: hey, we have lasers! And swords! And laser swords! Also, there are no nuclear weapons in the future. There's no point, not when you have weapons as powerful as swords to fight with.
  8. Door knobs: automatic doors, that's the word! Who cares about privacy, or power outages?
  9. Stairs. Nobody climbs stairs, they use the elevator, or teleporter pads, or maybe some type of vacuum tube thingy. The technology to make stairs was lost in the Great Human-Alien War of 2437.
  10. Rust: you really may find good use for a V2 rocket found in 2912. It will fly. And explode. And save the world.
  11. Artists: people still seem to care about music, paintings and books. But for some unknown reason, all new artists disappeared sometime in the 21st century. They can quote Shakespeare or hear Ozzy Osbourne, but no new stuff was added to the culture pool since this mysterious disaster that washed away all artists.
  12. Paper: yeah, you may been writing a book, but you ought to know that the printing press will be extinct soon. As well as toilet paper.
  13. Toilets: did you ever asked why you never see anybody in a fatuous urge in the future? Well, pills don't make much volume. A small plastic cup does the job and nobody notices anything.
  14. Showers: don't ask why, they are just too low-tech. Happily there's no smell in books or movies. However, there is one notable exception to the "No Showers" rule, and that is that they are permissible if the person showering is a hot naked chick. People who are neither hot, naked, nor chicks do not shower in the future.
  15. Regular beds: in the future, people just can't sleep without their cryogenic chambers. Not really comfy, but mattresses and pillows just don't fit the spaceship's inner decoration.
  16. Electrical plugs: it would ruin any plot if your hero could just turn off the evil gigacomputer by just pulling out its plug.
  17. Autopilots. In the 29th century, spaceship piloting and weapons targeting need to be done manually, not automatically like in 20th century aircraft.
  18. Seatbelts. When a large spaceship either crashes or comes under enemy fire, everyone should be thrown out of their chairs. This may result in more injuries, but hey, they have the medical technology.
  19. TV. Although current trends suggest that by the year 2037, human beings will spend pretty much all of their waking hours watching TV, nobody ever watches TV in the future. There is no point- since they already are in the future they no longer need to watch cheesy sci-fi shows about the future. What kind of future would it be if everyone sat around wishing they lived in a more advanced time? Not a very good one, obviously.
  20. Obnoxious family members. Children are always adorable, exceptionally smart and so resposible that you can trust them with the keys to your intergalactic space cruiser. Nobody's sure why- either they've genetically engineered them, or launched the dumb ones into space. There are no surly, hormonal teenagers, or awful mothers-in-law or insane aunts. Normal family problems just don't exist. If you do have family troubles, it will inevitably be because one of your family members is evil- an evil parent, evil twin, or an evil clone. Anything else, and you risk going into "deep" sci-fi, and no-one likes that stuff.
  21. Christian and Jews: surpassed by more up-to-date creeds in knightly honor, mind power and ghosts in general.

Lesson 4: Hands to The Job!

In the year 2234, James Bond is the only one allowed to carry firearms - and still remains an example of elegance and taste.

So you are full of basic premises, the rest is just stitching those clichés together. Start with the default basic plot, a-common-fellow-that-in-fact-is-the-chosen-one-and-will-find-a-master-to-make-him-a-real-hero- to-save-the-universe-against-an-evil-ruler. It always works. Just change the order of words and invent fancy names for old ideas: in Star Wars, they have light sabers. In your work, they have "quantum swords", "neutrino blades", or "photon nunchucks". The secret to the success (and not being sued) is always borrowing words from science that describe things people don't understand. In the fifties, "atomic-anything" was the hot stuff. Now you may label your technologies with words such as:

  1. Quantum-anything;
  2. Quark-anything;
  3. Nano-anything;
  4. Exobiological-anything;
  5. Dark-matter-anything;

And so forth. You can pick up a science magazine and search for random words you find interesting. There's no problem if you don't have any clue what it means, your reader will probably be as hopeless lost as you are. In sum, the art of cheesy sci-fi has nothing to do with creating new stuff, it's just changing names. And voilà: you've got your cheesy sci-fi. Here's an example:

“Captain, the enemy’s [alpha / theta / zeta] [beam / ray] has penetrated our [diluvium / polarized / electro] [shields / armor / hull]! I am now [recalibrating / repolarizing / desensitizing / deodorizing] the ship’s [forward / aft / starboard / port] primary [thruster / generator / life support / garbage disposal] systems to provide additional power to the auxiliary systems and reroute a [proton / photon / neutrino / electrino / Tarantino] burst through our backup [deflector dish / transporter beam / communications beacon / hyperdrive / TiVo] and disrupt their fire!”

Use this same basic dialogue over and over, randomly varying the names of exotic particles, waves, and so forth.

External Links

  • Tales of The Future Past[1] (same idea, but carried on by a professional).

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UnNews:Wolverine hits the big screen

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30 April 2009

Screen door

Zeke Smithers' front door, pre-wolverine attack.

THE STICKS, Kansas - Kansas farmer Zeke Smithers was "right upset" to discover that a wolverine had hit the big screen door on his house.

Smithers, 36, was "just sittin' around, reading some old comic-like books" when he heard a loud crash from the direction of his front porch. When he got outside, it was "dark and brutal," he said. A few minutes later, something hit the big screen and a wolverine started coming right at its no-longer-reading audience.

Smithers could only speculate as to the cause of the attack.

"This durned thing was tryin' to make me an ex-man, I reckon," Smithers said. "I mean, it was somethin' of a mutant."

Local wolverine expert Gavin Hood, 45, agreed with his assessment for the most part.

"See, wolverines are filled with a lot of self-loathing by their very nature," he said. "They're constantly at war with their savage nature. So they do things like look like Hugh Jackman, and now, thanks to me, hit the big screen. Ahem. Did I say thanks to me? No thanks to me. Brett did it. Zach did it too." After a few seconds, he added "Unless we get an award like when that bat-thing hit the big screen. Then I did it."

The wolverine's impact on the big screen drew crowds of millions, many of whom expressed gushing praise for the attack, if less gushing praise about the smell. Smithers said he wasn't surprised.

"Eh, I'm right used to it by now," he said. "This kind of thing happens every summer. Some freak of nature hits the big screen and starts bein' all violent, and people go nuts." Smithers said, however, that he looked forward to the money that would undoubtedly come his way when the wolverine hit the big screen.

But not everybody was so enthused about the incident.

Brady Ragazzo, 21, a local teen and big-screen action enthusiast, said, "That's not how it's supposed to happen. Like, I know wolverines, and this definitely isn't right. Everyone should be ashamed that it hit the big screen like this."

Nevertheless, Hood said it might not be the last time a wolverine hit the big screen.

"If I were you, Smithers, I'd be on the lookout for a sequel," he said. "And it's gonna be epic. The big screen won't know what hit it. Watch out!"

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User:Leoispotter/The Red Album

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The Beatles: The Red Album
Hammer and sickle
Album by The Beatles
Released September 23, 2007
Recorded January, 1969
Genre Psychedelia, Communist Anthems
Length 63:39
Record label Parlophone
Producers George Martin
Phil Spector
Professional reviews
Pitchfork Media review 5.4528245/10 - "Across the ancient sands of time, the soundwaves caressed my cochlea, spurning onward that which once was, but wasn't meant to be. This album was okay I guess."
Rolling Stone review 3.5/5 - "I didn't listen to this album. Who are the Beetles?"
George Orwell review 0/5 - "Doubleplusungood."
Beatle Albums
The White Album
The Red Album
Let It Be

The Red Album is an unreleased album by the Beatles. It was recorded during the band's brief visit to the Soviet Union in 1968, shortly after their ill-fated stay with tickle fetishist Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. The album is so named because of its distinctive red album art, as well as its lyrical content, which mostly focuses on praise of the communist system. Since the Western world in 1968 held communists in lower esteem than necrotizing fasciitis, the album was scrapped and never saw release outside of the Soviet Bloc Many of the songs on the Red Album were hastily reworked to appear on the White Album, which is probably why that album is so all over the place.

Following the release of Magical Mystery Tour, John Lennon yearned for respite from his hectic schedule of writing, recording, and tripping sack. Eager for a transcendental experience, he dragged the rest of the band with him to Rishikesh, India to meditate with the renowned spiritual guru Maharishi Yogi. Lennon quickly became disillusioned with the Maharishi, as it became apparent that the meditation sessions were a thinly veiled excuse for Maharishi to indulge in his tickle fetish. Maharishi, who was also known as the "giggling guru", often isolated the female members of his camp and offered them what he called "tickle therapy". When Lennon found the Maharishi tickling the feet of a bound and gagged Prudence Farrow, he was repulsed and left for the Rishikesh airport immediately. However, due to a miscommunication, he accidentally booked the band a flight to Moscow, rather than their native Liverpool.

Track listing

  1. Back in the U.S.S.R.
  2. Glass Onion Domes
  3. Wild Honey Pierogi
  4. Happiness Is A Ruski's Buns (An Ode To Fine Russian Ass)
  5. Fuck, Moscow Is Really Cold In The WInter...
  6. Capitalist Piggies
  7. Ringo Starr's Song (Pass It By)
  8. Why Don't We Do It In The Kremlin?
  9. Mother Russia's Son
  10. Nobody's Got Anything To Hide (Because If They Did They'd Probably Get Sent To A Gulag)
  11. Hey Mahrishi Yogi (Fuck You, You Suck)
  12. October Revolution #1
  13. October Revolution #9
  14. Oh Shit, Ringo Is Choking On His Drumstick
  15. Sickles and Hammers (later covered by The Minutemen)
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06/16/2001 - Updated 01:56 AM ET

Lakers, injuries too much for Iverson

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Allen Iverson has the rest of the summer to heal.

Already playing through numerous aches and bruises, Iverson had to overcome another injury in Game 5 of the NBA Finals. The league's MVP hurt his right hip in a collision with Kobe Bryant in the first quarter, but still scored 37 points.

Iverson, however, couldn't lift his team past the Los Angeles Lakers, who beat the 76ers 108-96 Friday night to capture their second straight championship.

After colliding with Bryant while diving for a loose ball near the end of the first quarter, Iverson, who got his third foul on the play, favored his right side the rest of the game.

He winced nearly every time he bumped into somebody and grimaced after most of his shots. It didn't stop him, though.

Iverson, desperately trying to spark one final run, nailed a 3-pointer to cut the deficit to 96-87 with 4:27 left in the fourth. But the Sixers couldn't get any closer than seven the rest of the way.

With less than a minute left, the sellout crowd of 20,890 at the First Union Center began chanting "MVP, MVP." When Iverson left the game with 40.3 seconds remaining, he received a standing ovation, walked over to the bench and hugged coach Larry Brown. The fans continued their chant.

It was a fitting ending for Philadelphia, which battled through several injuries to key players throughout the regular season and the playoffs. The Sixers went as far as they could on heart and determination. In the end, they were overmatched by the Lakers in the most important area: talent.

Dikembe Mutombo, the NBA's defensive player of the year, couldn't stop Shaquille O'Neal and the Sixers didn't have an answer for Bryant.

Derek Fisher and Tyronn Lue continually frustrated Iverson with tight defense and Philadelphia's role players struggled the entire series.

Aaron McKie, playing with a chip fracture in his right ankle, reached double digits just once after averaging 16 points per game in the first three rounds.

He had seven points Friday.

Tyrone Hill averaged just 4.8 points and five rebounds per game in the finals before getting 18 points and 13 rebounds in Game 5.

Philadelphia entered the series as prohibitive underdogs, but stunned the Lakers with a 107-101 overtime victory in the opener.

Iverson had 48 points in Game 1, but shot 34-of-89, including 5-of-20 from 3-point range in the next three games, all losses.

The Sixers had chances to win Games 2 and 3, but couldn't hit the key shot or make a big stop late in the game. They missed 10 free throws in the fourth quarter of Game 2 and left Robert Horry open for a 3-pointer in the final minute of Game 3.

Philadelphia won 56 games, finished with the best record in the East for the first time in 18 years, but struggled in the postseason despite getting to the finals.

The Sixers fell behind 1-0 in their first two series and nearly didn't get past Toronto in the second round. But Vince Carter missed a jumper at the buzzer in Game 7 and the Sixers advanced to the conference finals against Milwaukee.

Iverson, however, severely bruised his tailbone in Game 7 against the Raptors. The injury hampered him in the first two games of the Milwaukee series.

After winning the opener at home, the Sixers lost two straight to the Bucks and Iverson sat out Game 3. But Iverson returned for Game 4 and the Sixers tied the series before winning it in seven.

Forward George Lynch broke his foot during Game 4 of the Toronto series and didn't return until Game 4 of the finals.

Eric Snow, who missed 32 games after fracturing his right ankle earlier this season, fractured it in a different spot during Game 4 of the Milwaukee series. But he didn't miss any games.

Copyright 2001 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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Copyright 2008 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Co. Inc.


text:
Mickael Pietrus offseason improvement video

Tags: Mickael Pietrus

  • Jt’s hoops Blog

    You’re right on the money desribing Pietrus’faults. He’s basically a raw athlete with little or no fundamentals. That’s why he shoots so terribly. Now he has it in his head that he’s a jump shooter. That’s far from the case. he will remian at best a fringe role player.

  • sun-arc

    So… your saying he’s a chucker?

    Pointing out all his weaknesses is easy. He takes bad shots, and his form isn’t the best. He’s so big for his position, seems like he should learn some post-up moves.

    But, I’ll re-state: I sure wish these videos could include what they do well. And, for MP, I would have liked to see what he can do to improve his defense as well.

  • Mike

    Right, so Pietrus isn’t a shooter but he’s a solid defender, of course these videos won’t talk about DEFENSE because it’s a SUNS FAN making the video. Forget defense when offense is far more important. (sarcasm)


text:
Lucasfilm exec moves to animation studio

Former Lucasfilm Animation exec Catherine Winder has joined Rainmaker Entertainment as prexy of the Vancouver-based animation studio. Winder’s hire is part of a revamp of Rainmaker’s management team as the company looks to raise its profile and expand the scope of its operations.

Warren Franklin, who has held the titles of president and CEO, is giving up the prexy role.

Winder, who helped build up Lucasfilm Animation and produced the hit “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” skein for Cartoon Network, will report to Franklin.

Franklin said the hiring of Winder “changes our ability to do world-class animation, which is our goal.”

Rainmaker, which is publicly traded in Canada, is in production on its first animated feature, “Escape From Planet Earth,” for the Weinstein Co., and will begin production this summer on “Luna,” an original short to be directed by Pixar alum Jon Mead.

Company also makes the animated pics for Mattel’s Barbie and Max Steel franchises.

Winder said her intent is to shift the company’s focus to “being storytellers on everything we do.”

With Pixar planning to open an animation facility in Vancouver, Franklin said there will be no shortage of toon talent attracted to the region.

Franklin added that he expects intense competition for animation talent in the short term but also expects many Canadian animators around the world will be attracted to the area with both Pixar and Rainmaker hiring.

Franklin and Winder have a 15-year history together going back to when they both worked at San Francisco-based Colossal Pictures.

Also joining Rainmaker are Kim Dent Wilder, who returns to Rainmaker as senior VP of production and operations, and Tara Kemes, who becomes manager of talent development. They will report to Winder.

Both were most recently at Nexon Publishing North America, an online entertainment company.

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text:
Producers insist money issues won't derail show

Should Broadway’s Spidey sense be tingling?

Rumors have spread among legiters that the production sked for incoming mega-musical “Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark” may be threatened.

The extensive work being done to prep for the technically demanding show, both in the shop constructing the physical production and in the theater where “Spider-Man” is due to bow, is said to have stopped this week.

The halt is attributed to cash flow obstacles that producers — including David Garfinkle, Martin McCallum, Marvel Entertainment and Sony Pictures Entertainment — are working to resolve, according to some in the industry affiliated with the show.

One explanation suggests the delay stems not from problems in raising the massive funds required for the tuner — said to be capitalized at north of $35 million — but from issues in mobilizing those great big chunks of coin.

A rep for the show would say only that the production remains on track to begin previews at the Hilton Theater Feb. 25, with an opening to follow some time in March.

Others attached to “Spider-Man” acknowledge the funding hiccup but believe the situation will be resolved without forcing a disruption of the musical’s launch.

Nevertheless, the chatter has served as an alarming suggestion of instability in a production generally expected to become the sales juggernaut of the 2009-10 season.

Current work stoppage also comes hot on the heels of a Marvel earnings report earlier this week that saw the company post a 38% drop in profits on a 26% reduction in revenue during the second quarter, a slide prompted largely by the lack of a major movie release since “Iron Man” and “The Incredible Hulk” last year. (Still, Marvel logged a profit of $29 million on revenue of $116 million.)

Most legiters anticipate the musical, with music by Bono and the Edge of U2 and helmed by Julie Taymor (“The Lion King”), will rake in monster amounts of cash right out of the gate. Even if reviews and word of mouth prove dire, hype and curiosity are expected to drive ticket sales for a solid stretch of time.

The season’s Rialto cume would surely suffer without that sales spike, thereby hindering Broadway’s ability to keep pace with the record-setting grosses posted for the 2008-09 season.

For now, “Spider-Man,” with a cast that so far features Evan Rachel Wood as Mary Jane Watson and Alan Cumming as the Green Goblin, remains officially set to swing into previews in February.

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