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Naïvety's Star (lady_noremon) wrote,
Naïvety's Star

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Ok I was sitting here reading about Gackt-kun, and felt a shock in my hand, and my arm jerked without me being willing (I guess that may be the correct wording, I blam Korean dramas if it isn't...)

I BOUGHT MOONCHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think my next purchase will be ether Bujingai, or renewing my RuneScape membership.

I was kinda mad at Matt today, though I guess I can't stay mad for more than a hour at him ^_~ (*bwahahahaha*)

Okay last week since exams were coming up, and I had asked him to come over to "my" (well I guess I am technically homeless, since I don't have a place I consider home) house one or two days, that we would have off this week/next. Well Matt went janting off to his cousins house for the whole weekend (and "weekend" for them, sometimes means for the rest of the time off >_< ). Ah but I guess I can't get mad *sigh* atleast he will have super fun there.

Now I don't know if this is entirerly true, but Wendy told me that Matt said he had a nice girlfriend to Koady and Chris, and they was asked who, and he said he couldn't say, and Wendy said "is it Sarah?" and Matty said he couldn't say. Now even though that may not be true in the least, it still filled me up with warm feelings.

Anyway I can't wait for MOONCHILD to get here! GACKT! HYDE! TOYOKAWA! (okay so I really don't know much about the last one there, but he did play a gay doctor, so that MUST account for something :P )

OH AND MY MP3 PLAYER DECIDED TO BREAK! I was lisning to it the other night, and after one of my fav songs (i.e. this sun also shines at night) I went to turn the volume down, and the sound cut off...I turned the light on (I figured that the low battery had died)...and THE VOLUME BUTTON WAS STUCK IN! I tried prying it out with my thumb, but to no avail, I just hope they will replace it!

Panta rhei-Aqva Silentia

Manipulator-The Cross

Holding Out For A Hero-Frou Frou

Edit--I feel kinda crummy, I wish I could do something to help Chisa feel better. Chisa is a online friend of mine from the Czech Republic. Actually I would consider her one of my all time bestest friends, even though I only know her from MSN, and DeviantART. Latley she has been very happy (which is great!), but now she is extramly depressed as of yesterday...her parents were originally fine with her taking the rest of the school year off to get a job (she has missed a lot of time, because of a condition with her leg). Yesterday they chenged their mind and started yelling at her.

Edit, Edit-- She is feeling better now, her "boyfriend" called her (I'm not actually sure if he is her bf or not, all I know is that he is Dutch by ethnicity...). I have decided that is she lived closer, she would be the kind of person I would hang-out and go drinking with XD (ofcourse when I'm 19?, though over there I could go drinking now XDDDDDD *rofl* )

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I felt nervous this week.
I’ve felt this feeling before…
There’s been a shift – a tectonic shift underneath my feet.
I’m like a new duckling learning to waddle.
No one died, and yet, something died: old beliefs, old thoughts. My plant orchid. Its petals started to fall at the precise moments I would look at it – as if the orchid wanted to show me it’s metamorphosis.
Old notions of what romance or love should be.
Black, mucky presumptions that my life was not my own.
Old conceptions that my creative work wasn’t worthy of being shown to the world.
An ancestral conviction that I’m not good enough.
In fact, I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t somehow think that I wasn’t worthy of love, respect, promotions or happiness. I had moments of clarity where I would step into something greater, but it was always there – underlying – that doubt.
I think that’s why no matter how much I’ve done I’ve always wanted to do more – somehow, if I kept doing no one would notice that my being wasn’t good enough. And, of course, that’s also why the doing wasn’t as satisfying as it could be.
I had lost the joy of what the doing was and the WHY I was doing any of it.
And, that’s the quickest way to kill a soul.
The last two years have slowly started to become something different. It’s crept up on me, but when I reflect on it, I notice that the joys I delighted in as a kid have entered their way back into my life – acting for the first time in eight years, writing, reading, creating places for people to create (more on that soon).
The thing about the WHY is that it can change so subtly that before you know it, the WHY you started with has no resemblance to the WHY you have now. Of course the WHY can change and perhaps should – but often times, it doesn’t change for the better – often times, it changes to accommodate other’s needs or to fit into society’s wants or to mold into the “should”.
For example, when I was little, I started acting because it was play. It stopped time. It connected me to others. It made me feel…simply, good.
Then, it became something else – I could see in my grandmother’s eyes how delighted she would be if only her granddaughter became famous. I could see how proud it made my parents when I would book a role. I saw other pretty young girls getting all the attention, and I wanted that. I thought it could make me whole – if only I became famous.
So, my WHY turned from “play”, “flow”, “connection” and “feeling good” to “fame”, “attention” and “ego-based love”.
And then it all turned mucky.
I’ve thought this entire week very hard about why I’m writing this blog, and why do I want to write everyday.
I think I’ve come up with this:

Because I have a voice, and I no longer want to keep it quiet.
I have a voice, and I want to share it with the world in the hope that ONE person will think about something.
Because I need to practice hitting “PUBLISH”.

I need to write everyday.
I’ve been doing that by myself for my entire life, and publishing this week has caused great anxiety. Each time I’ve hit publish I’ve wanted to go back and delete it, and not say anything more online ever again.
But at the end of the day, my WHY is greater than that. And, perhaps NO ONE will read this but at least I’ve gotten my voice out there. This is a muscle that I need to practice.
* What is your WHY for doing what you do? What do you do that needs a WHY? *
Tomorrow, I want to discuss something that one of my brilliant coaches taught me about WHY for goal-setting as well. I’m in the middle of a three-month, no drinking, hard working out, very disciplined food program. It’s not easy, but she taught me that my WHY will get me through. And, guess what? I have one more month to go, and I’ve lost ten pounds, inches everywhere and I’ve got a nice tight ass. So, I’m very much into this WHY thing.

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Audio Version Of The Blog – 08.14.13

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[audio: title=’14.8.13′]

Not For The Sake Of Success In This World

Dr. Michael LaitmanWe invest great efforts in dissemination sincerely aching for success, but unfortunately, we cannot make bring connection with the upper force into this work. And most importantly, we can’t attract the Creator to our external actions to use Him to succeed in the external mission in our area or in the entire world, that is, to transfer our goal from Him outside.

On the contrary, the whole world and all the work must be a means of connection with the Creator! We seemingly use Him in the opposite direction, to succeed in this world. Whereas, the whole world is needed in order to achieve connection with the Creator. That needs to be changed in order to constantly specify the right direction, turning our intention from ourselves to the Creator.

This has to be in absolutely everything: I knock on the door, talk to someone, but inside I constantly have to keep in mind that by every word and every action I strengthen my relationship with the Creator. I bring these external desires to the Creator to approach Him, to Divinity, and thus, I build the basis for His revelation in the entire world.

This is a constant work until the end of correction. New vessels will be revealed for us every moment, new disturbances, egoistic desires that try to tear us away from the Creator. The Creator does this on purpose, wanting to strengthen our connection. This is a kind of “flirting:” He seems to distance Himself from us, to push us away so that we hold onto Him more strongly.

This is the work, all the 125 degrees. It is revealed in various forms that appear like pictures of this world. This world is the outer wrapping in which we must use every detail, every action, every scene of this play, in order to attach everything to the Creator and unite with Him.

Only the environment will help, which is described by Rabash. We are in this big and strong group. While on a trip, far from the central group, I see how the distance helps. On the one hand, physical distance makes a person further from the Creator and separates from Him, and at the same time, every moment gives the opportunity to return to the center of the group and draw more and more strength from there.

Therefore, only through our connection, where everyone tries to constantly keep in the same thought, will we succeed. You will later become convinced that the entire Torah speaks only of how to neutralize the picture of this world in order to feel inside it the upper force to such an extent that we will begin to see Its actions: the way this force moves, controls, and manages all atoms, all people. We will see that they themselves are just obedient shadows, following that higher force. All these images are presented to us not to look at them—people or nature—but to reveal the force of nature through them.

Only the friends, only the group, in which everyone apply efforts, will be able to support us and return the correct intention to those who have lost it. We need to talk about this constantly and make this connection more and more clear, so that on the basis of this connection we reach out to the external public. Then you will see how strong you have become. It is most important for us to gain strength. Going to the streets for external dissemination is needed not to express ourselves to the people and integrate with them, but to bring them closer to us and to the Creator. That is, the trend should be opposite to our physical actions.

On the physical level, we go out to the public; we want to influence it and build a better life for everyone, for all of humanity, to use the crisis to unite. But at the same time, we need to see behind all these actions that their connection will be linked to us and through us to the upper force. That is, everything must pursue one goal: to return to Divinity all its parts that were lost in the breaking.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/9/13, Writings of Rabash

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Discovering New Emptiness, Opening The Heart

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: We have learned a very powerful thing in this convention; it is to look at each other more. Then you discover that you can find great joy in the friends while there is great emptiness inside you.

Answer: This is wonderful! You discover new emptiness. There is nothing old. It isn’t the same as it was before and I’m back gnawing at myself again and feeling like I did a couple of months ago, or a couple of years ago, or 20 years ago. Wait, you have more experience, and you say: This is what we went through 15 years ago, and that we went through 20 years ago.”

Every level is ten Sefirot. They revolve in us, and you feel as if nothing happens; everything is the same! Even when we reach the end of correction, we discover that everything is the same as it was. Only a person’s attitude towards everything changes, and so he sees a new world. He rises above life and death, above the speed of light.

The emptiness that is discovered is a wonderful thing. I don’t understand why you should weep about that. What powers can be revealed in me when I begin to feel that I am smaller than everyone else, when I get closer to the friends! At what speed do I run to them just to be part of and lost among them! What can be better than this gift? How else can you be spurred?

Question: Nothing is more wonderful than that, but the problem is that the veil that covers the heart doesn’t come off…

Answer: What you feel now is growing estrangement from others, and to the extent the friends are connected, loyal, and close to one another, you are not; this means that the veil has already been lowered, or at least a certain layer of it.

There is a saying: “After seven layers of skin.” This isn’t just a saying; it refers to the seven layers of the seven lower Sefirot of the Partzuf (the seven Sefirot that receive).

The layers come off gradually, one after the other, and thanks to that, the emptiness that you are beginning to feel inside you compared to the great general intention, the pleasure, the desire, the yearning that your friends have, is revealed. You feel that there is life there, that something is boiling there, whereas inside, you feel cold, dark emptiness. This is the opening of the heart. Gradually your heart is opened and the veil comes off. You should be glad about that.
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Three” 7/14/13, Lesson 5

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Becoming The Ruler Of The Plan Of Creation

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe group needs to convince each and every one that they are directed by the Creator and that there is nothing that appears by itself, i.e., that only He controls everything, “There is none else besides Him.” And thus I need to see the Creator in each one of the friends.

Together with that, I don’t nullify or show distaste to the friend by claiming that he is like a puppet that is controlled by a foreign hand. No! On the contrary, I compare and identify him with the Creator. Think about that!

When I said that someone is operated by the Creator, I can think that he is like a puppet on a string, and I can also say the opposite, “No, whoever is before me is a revelation of the Creator.” We learn in the system of the perception of reality that everything around us is a revelation of the Creator. When a person reaches such a state and works clearly in this manner, not just philosophizing, then he really enters the correct feeling of the reality.

We need to talk about the greatness of the Creator, but not philosophize and utter slogans. And it is possible also not to talk about it, but the importance of this force that holds all the creation and directs everything by becoming adhered to Divinity, needs to be with every one of us like the soul of the world. And everything that happens, happens as a result of the presence of this force.

Thus the greatness isn’t expressed through all kinds of cosmological activities, but by this being directed to each one of us so that we, through this picture, will attain Him, the plan of creation, and not by becoming parts but wise rulers of this plan. Unification means that we become Him.
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Two” 7/13/13, Lesson 4

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Questions After the Congress, Part 6

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: What should interactions between relatives of the opposite sex be like in spiritual work, let’s say between father and daughter or brother and sister, if they both are studying Kabbalah?

Answer: They should be normal, (regular, usual) since these people are related to each other only on this material plane, whereas in the spiritual dimension there are other types of associations between them.

Question: What are the ways for a women’s group to make it easier for them to accept fulfillment from a men’s group for the sake of pleasing the Creator?

Answer: They can achieve it through extending their help and support.

Question: What is a “unified women’s desire?”

Answer: It’s an accumulation of all the women’s desires into one whole that has an image of one woman. Women’s unity is similar to men’s. And yet, it is purely women’s, since this is their nature. As to its implementation, it is the same as men’s.

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“What International Community?”

Dr. Michael LaitmanOpinion (Richard N. Haass, President of the Council on Foreign Relations, USA): “Whenever something bad happens – Iran moving closer to acquiring nuclear weapons, … some official or observer will call upon the international community to act. There is only one problem: there is no ‘international community.’

“The United Nations General Assembly comes closest, but little can be expected from an organization that equates the United States or China with, say, Fiji or Guinea-Bissau. …

“No amount of UN reform could make things fundamentally different. Today’s major powers do not agree on the rules that ought to govern the world, much less on the penalties for breaking them. Even where there is accord in principle, there is little agreement in practice. The result is a world that is messier and more dangerous than it should be.”

My Comment: The whole advancement to perfection comes from the “recognition of evil”: the revelation of the imperfection of our egoistic nature. Only when the human being, people, and the world are finally convinced of the total corruption of this nature, the self, and the world will they will be happy to give it up. Then, the upper force of nature will be revealed in their sensations. People ask it to change them, and it corrects them. Everything that happens to us is only to bring us to this event.

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Circles That Do Not Intersect

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe Maggid from Kozintz, “The Work of Israel”: Our sages said “dispersion is good for the wicked and convention is good for the righteous,” and this is according to what the Ari said about the round worlds in which no circle touches the other, and it is there that the shattering occurred until the world is honestly corrected. This means that the mind of the circles is like someone who turns himself and rounds up and becomes separated from his Creator and believes that he manages himself by his own desire and is arrogant in saying “I will rule,” which is the shattering. And thus the wicked each feels arrogant saying in his heart “I will rule” and so they are in a world of separation and cannot connect like circles, since they feel that they cannot dwell together, and thus the dispersion is good for them.

If people cannot control their ego, they will be better off staying away from one another. Thus, they become compatible with the upper system.

The upper system is made of round and straight vessels. A straight desire means that a person can be direct and connect “Israel, the Torah, and the Creator.” He can control his desire to enjoy, and to the extent that he controls it, he can use it for the benefit of others. He begins to feel that these people are not strangers but actually are him.

What I used to think was “me” was only my animal body, while my human essence was external to me. All of humanity is actually my spiritual “self, “although they all seem to be external to me now and although it seems I would like to move away from them or use them to harm them.

It turns out that I use my spiritual body for the benefit of corporeality until I begin to understand that my real body, my soul, is actually external to me. However, if I am still in my ego, then the further away we are from one another, the better. If we connect, it only becomes worse.

So, in order to hasten the evolution of humanity within my egoistic desire to enjoy, a new program suddenly is activated, a new direction. Suddenly, we decide to connect. We connected in a common market and everything collapsed, especially in order to hasten the recognition of evil. In fact, only dispersion is good for the wicked, which means for those who use their ego.

After all, it is like the round vessels in the upper worlds. If a vessel doesn’t have a Masach (screen) yet, it is totally round and doesn’t touch the other. If there is a Masach, the whole vessel becomes straight, and these straight channels connect and begin to influence one another mutually. Therefore, connection is good for the righteous.

If all the desires have Masachim and they use it for mutual benefit, they all connect and are nourished by one common pipe that provides the Light for everyone. It turns out that using the society is for the better only when we are under the Masach and receive everything as one vessel.

So, different corporations and commercial and cultural ties only hasten the recognition of evil. After all, the wicked connect only to discover as quickly as possible the need to move on to a different form of life.

We must look at the world like the spiritual world. The spiritual world is made totally of straight vessels, and the circles are made by us from the desires that we cannot use for the time being. So, we restrict them like Malchut of Ein Sof (Infinity) that restricted itself and remained round, and then creates a straight line to the extent that it is in its power.

We must take an example from it, although it is very difficult to build a straight line. After the first restriction, only a thin line is created in the center of the great empty circle, but it is that straight line that we need! After all, it is what determines the level of our adhesion to the Creator.

When we complete the formation of this line, we add it to everything that we can, and only the “heart of stone,” the part that we cannot correct, remains outside. Then, a special action called Rav Paalim uMekabtziel takes place, which completes the correction.

We shouldn’t look at the history of mankind as at the life of animate bodies but as at the evolutions of parts of the desire whose suffering constantly grows. As a result, the suffering accumulates to such an extent that we suddenly understand that we are living under the leadership of the “angel of death,” of our ego.

The more the world develops, the more connected and the more global it becomes. The wicked connect and discover the ego and our powerlessness, and help us reach the recognition of evil as quickly as possible. Let’s hope that our group will serve as a role model for humanity and will help it understand what needs to be done. On the other hand, everyone will have to recognize the evil in him by himself as a result of the blows that the current crisis brings.
From the Men’s Convention “The Next Step” 4/26/13, Lesson 1

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When The World Shrinks To A Point

Dr. Michael LaitmanBaal HaSulam, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar,” Section 47:holy vegetative.” The nature of its Light is like the corporeal vegetative: There are distinct differences in motion in each of its elements….

The essential difference between the vegetative level and the animate level depends on the program. A person is spiritually born on the still level, and on the vegetative level, he absorbs the program of development and realizes it.

This is the qualitative addition of the vegetative level where we begin to absorb the process taking place in creation, the changes from state to state. So, we study the development of a basic cell, the developmental force, the development of signs and stimuli, and the need for development. This means everything relevant to development and to understanding it, we acquire this on the vegetative level.

The still level supplies me with only a source for nullification of the self. After that, I will want to nullify myself on a higher level and am now ready to accept all the acts of the Creator in this regard. Thus, I develop, “gain weight,” based on that point of nullification of the self on which the entire still level focuses to rise to the level of the vegetative.

At first, I completely finish correction of my 613 desires, thoughts, and intentions, on the still level. Then, an opportunity which I never could have dreamed of before is revealed to me. Suddenly, opened before me is a new world and all that fills it. I now can connect to all of my previous levels for the sake of this opportunity. I didn’t have a need for this up until now. Now, I see something higher that is connected to one point in contrast to all that was until now. Thus, I include the summary of the connection of the still level within the vegetative level.

Obviously, all this is taking place with the help of the Light that Reforms and with the help of concentration, the conclusion of the previous level and the ascent to the next level. Thanks to the Light, I already acquire readiness to nullify myself in every movement. In other words, every time I nullify myself, new forms are clothed in me that are, in sum, a movement. I nullify myself not in regard to the present state, rather through estimating and speculating about the next state. I already have some ability. So, all that the Creator will do, all will be for the good, and He will do precisely the opposite of my desire.

So, on the vegetative level, there is an addition of devotion to the program of development and not to the state itself.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/22/13, Writings of Rabash

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Always Connected

Dr. Michael LaitmanBaal HaSulam, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar,” Section 32: The fourth period is the work after rising from the dead. It means that the desire to receive that completely disappeared died and was buried, rises from the dead in its biggest and worst appearance, as it is said, “In the future, the dead will rise with all their defects”…

These defects were in them from the start.  They were not healed and corrected and so after the “death” of the desire to receive, an opportunity to discover these defects appears to complete the correction. This is about that part of desire that could not be corrected in the framework of the second restriction.

The difference here is enormous. You see, the second restriction is different from the first restriction in the Kli of perception. It is no accident that we view the world through a “hole” in the center of the pupil. According to that principle, we also can understand the other senses. The characteristic of Malchut included in Bina is discovered everywhere in us.

Generally, the senses must be like Bina to some degree. Otherwise, we would not be prepared to comprehend anything, but in this mechanism, Malchut is required also, the female characteristic, the void of a desire lacking fulfillment, the need that remains.

This stage of Malchut and Bina is formed in the second restriction, according to the law of root and branch, and this influences our physical senses. As Malchut, they make it possible for external stimuli to enter inward, and at the same time let Bina reflect, reject them.

On the other hand, how is it possible to imagine the Kli from the first restriction and grasp it? This is no longer the hole in the pupil.

Question: Perhaps we then create conditions for rising toward a great adherence?

Answer: Right, all my senses disappear, passing to the outside, to the collective system. Whether I want it or not, my old comprehension disappears without a trace, and I stop feeling as I did previously and feel something else now: The network that connects everything. There my sight, hearing, senses of smell, taste, and touch operate.

So, I transform my personal, particular, corporeal, “animal” vessels to the shared vessels of the group “body,” the network of communication between us all, constructed from mutual influence, mutual unity. In this unity, beyond rejection, enviously, arrogance, hatred, above the burning fire, all sorts of good relationships and communications stream between friends, and with this flow the friends discover a particular arrangement that contracts into ten Sefirot, or five phases, and the Lights are discovered in these phases—Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Haya and Yechida—corresponding to the five senses.

Our world remains the same for me, and simultaneously I see an inner network that penetrates everything around, but so far eluded my comprehension. This network is like a cellular network, only it conveys the connection between us. It connects not between cell phones but between emotional and mental receivers, doing this on a permanent basis without needing to dial someone’s number.

Now, I see what we transmit to each other in this network and do not become confused. On the contrary, everything is completely natural, for suddenly it becomes clear: This is my soul (Neshama), the closest and dearest thing that I have, my life; I never tire of it; rather, I only want to fill it with strength. I want to help this network so that it will become unified, coherent, balanced, and stable. With it, I discover vessels and Lights, thoughts and events. I live in it now and am concerned only about the welfare of my brothers and friends for the sake of the Creator that is discovered in this network of the Shechina.

Question: How is this consistent with the excessive desire about which Baal HaSulam writes?

Answer: Take, for example, the cellular network that is celebrating its 40th birthday, the day of the first conversation from a cellular telephone. In the beginning, it was basic, yet, with time, it acquired new characteristics and capabilities. Thus, our inner network also receives additional strength in contrast to the depth of an opposing desire. You see, only resistance, a resistor under tension, increases power.

Today, instead of the first, simple devices, the world is full of smart phones that not only know how to call but send messages, surf the web, navigate, play, and so on. They provide us with a wide and varied communication that is improving all the time.

We aspire instinctively to create a cellular network that is like the spiritual network, containing all the information. Although these dreams won’t materialize, ultimately, humans will recognize their powerlessness, and then, as usual, there will be the crisis, and after that, they will understand what kind of mutual communication we are speaking about. You see, instead of the wonders of modern technology, we require a true, internal communication, and it is specifically that to which humans subconsciously are drawn.

I cannot say exactly in which direction things will develop. In fact, today people are searching for connection with others due to their own interests. The present means of communication are not affected by their independence. Rather, it’s the opposite. They distance people from each other and help our ego to live quietly. A telephone conversation preserves distance between us. It is always possible to shut it off. This is a wonderful support for our ego. The person doesn’t owe anything to anyone and simultaneously maintains communication with everyone.

People always yearn for communication of this kind, “behind the curtain,” that ensures immunity and simultaneously satisfies curiosity. Communication like this relaxes our ego. Meanwhile, governments fully utilize this tool for surveillance and collecting information.

In general, humanity naturally uses the results of its progress for evil first. And what will happen next? We will see.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/9/13, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar

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A Sense Of Responsibility For Everything

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe Creator weighs each moment of our lives. At this time we are willing to unite and keep talking about this desire like little children, and in a couple of hours everything changes and this desire of ours disappears. It’s not as vital as it may seem since it’s a cumulative process that sums up our good states and brings them to a state called “Seah” (measure.) Seah signifies a final stage of our efforts when the upper world reveals Itself to us. We should have many more minutes like these! All of them gather together above making the Path that leads us to the Upper Light divulge itself to us.

At this convention, we did a great job. For the first time ever in Europe it became clear why we need Kabbalah and what our mission is in the world.

A time for rigid changes has come; it requires our interference. We cannot afford losing even a minute. When we feel just a hint of inspiration, we should enhance it and transfer it to our friends. This is what Rabash writes about in his articles about the group.

We should constantly keep in mind that the Creator reveals Himself among us: in the family, between husbands and wives, in a group (of at least two friends). The larger the number of people, the higher the probability of His revelation is and the faster this process goes. “More people” means more problems, so our advancement gets more intense.

We see that the entire world gradually joins this process. Our direct obligation is to participate in it, since we are the only ones who possess a methodology of attracting the Light that has to illuminate this world.

The phrase “ascending the next step” means that it’s the Light that descends to us and illuminates us. The Light comes down from Ein Sof  (world of infinity) through all the worlds until it reaches our realm. On its way, it illuminates all other worlds. After it reaches the last step, all of them “curl” into one world: Ein Sof.

The entire creation can be presented as one big circle with our world placed in the center of it; the Light gradually descends into this world by a thin line (Kav) through the five worlds of Adam Kadmon, Atzilut, Beria, Yetzira, and Assiya. We are at the very bottom of them, in the very central point. The Light is right in front of us. It’s our obligation to allow the Light to penetrate this material world after it travels through the upper worlds. As soon as the Light descends along the line and enters the central point, the line of its descent immediately transfers into a circle that is completely full of the Light.

A Sense Of Responsibility For Everything

Generally speaking, the Light is always present in this reality, although we don’t feel it. This world is full of the Light of Infinity, the Creator Himself, Bore, the property of absolute and complete bestowal and love; this is why this level is hidden from us. When we fill our world with the Light and the entire creation transitions into absolute bestowal, then the whole volume of the world of infinity is revealed to us. It’s a steady cumulative process; that’s why at every given moment we have to apply as much effort as we can, as it is said: “Many coins accumulate into a big account.”

At this time, we are facing another problem: the Surrounding Light (Ohr Makif) starts pressing this world, thus causing a sensation of a crisis in us. The difference between our world and the spiritual world (the Delta – ∆) instigates the crisis that happens because of an incongruity of the properties associated with this world and the qualities of the upper worlds. We can feel it.

When the entire world becomes at least slightly similar to us, even though they won’t know or understand that it happens to them under the influence of the Upper Light, they will still start moving in the direction of unity. Then, an approximate resemblance between this reality and the upper worlds will manifest itself; it will lead humanity to diminish stress and obtain harmony. Everyday problems, crises, bankruptcies, fears of ecologic turmoil, uncertainties about the future, all will come to balance. So, everything depends on us. It’s our direct duty to work on it.

This is why our next step is “we,” meaning a European group that acts as one team and disseminates integral education. We have to study Kabbalah in order to attract the Upper Light. We have to spread integral education to the entire world so that humanity receives the Light.

The world won’t even understand what kind of Light they get; people will continue uniting, since they will realize that it’s much better for them to stay connected. However, since the process of their linking together will be happening under our supervision, the Upper Light will descend to them as well and they will feel that they are united. This feeling will allow them to succeed and overcome the consequences of the crisis.

The fact that it all became possible because of our methodology might not even cross their minds. As a matter of fact, it’s even better if they don’t realize this fact. Does it really matter if a child understands who is in charge of his or her upbringing? The main thing is that he grows. It’s about the natural property of bestowal. We have to learn from the relationships with our children. If we transfer the same pattern to the rest of the world, it will be wonderful! So, our primary duty is to unite and help each other to disseminate integral education and upbringing in the countries of our origin, in our native tongues to various types of mentalities.

I understand that you aspire to study Kabbalah and that you really want to know what original sources say about your personal experiences and sensations. However, there won’t be any personal experiences whatsoever until we start intermingling with the external world.

Have no doubts that at some point in my life I was not very preoccupied with externality. All I wanted was to sit alone and study the materials; I was sure that I would reveal the upper world to myself this way, by detaching from external reality.

It won’t work this way. We deal with a condition that we have to observe, otherwise nothing will work. At some point, it was quite enough to have a group that we belonged to in which we worked and that allowed us to connect with others. Today, we won’t be able to unite in the group if we don’t share our knowledge with the rest of the world. It’s very important for you to understand.

Personally, I don’t need all of this. My task is to present the methodology of correction to you, to teach you the ways to resurrect the general soul that is called Adam, and to give you a technique of fulfilling it with the Upper Light so that all of you (as it is said in Kabbalah sources) during this lifetime, from this realm, will feel other worlds and enter the state of infinity and eternity, meaning you would sense the balance of nature, rise above death, and elevate beyond all feasible problems.

This is the most important thing that you should understand and always bear in mind.

So, if we manage to unite, in the nearest future we will achieve success since Europe is created particularly to serve this purpose. If our meeting happened in South America, or Asia, or Russia, I would not be saying this. Europe needs this process very much! Partially, it applies to North America, since the crisis will hit these areas before any others and will spread further on.

If we disseminate this methodology in Europe and in North America, the crisis will stop and all of humankind will not experience it any longer. Otherwise, the waves of European and North American crisis will spread throughout the entire world destroying everything on its way. So, we are the ones who are responsible for what is going on in the world now.
From the Germany Convention 3/24/13, Lesson 6

Related Material:
Europe Is The Center Of The World And The Modern Babylon
Uniting Europe
Responsible For Humanity


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On the Water

Sophomore Caitlin Flanagan describes her addiction to rowing.

Olivia Eaton, Cub Reporter

The typical teenager would cringe at the idea of waking up at 6 a.m. to work out for an hour and a half and then row in a boat for two more hours, this does not describe sophomore Caitlin Flanagan. She is a part of the Lake Oswego Community Rowing team, a sport that is slowly starting to gain popularity.

Flanagan comes from a very active family. Her parents do two to three running races each year. Last year her father ran a 100 kilometer race, and between them they have done seven Iron Mans. Racing is so much a part of their lives that her father has a tattoo of the Iron Man symbol on his leg. Her brother has been doing soccer for seven years and has been playing year round for three. Flanagan herself went to the state competition for swimming, competing in the 50 meter butterfly.

Despite this accomplishment, Flanagan decided to branch off from what her family was doing and join a sport her family knew almost nothing about. She joined LOCR the summer before her freshman year and is now a Varsity rower, a little over a year later.

“We were in Michigan and I was in the water in one of my uncle’s kayaks and I was trying to go as fast as I could and I was just kind of like, ‘I wonder if I’d be good at rowing?’” said Flanagan. “When we got back we found a beginner class and I haven’t really stopped since.”

Her mother told her that she would be good at it, because she had strong upper arms from doing swimming for so long, she said.

“Usually with a team sport, like soccer or something, you have different positions, there are different jobs, but with rowing that isn’t the case. You’re either a rower or a coxswain,” she said.

She enjoys this part of rowing. After doing different team sports throughout her life, she realized that she hated that feeling of being watched. She moved into the sport of rowing where the team wins and loses together, she said.

“Being on the water and going to regattas is what brings the rowers so much enjoyment,” said Flanagan. “The regattas are the big races where lots of teams compete against each other. There is so much time between the races though, so most of the time the rowers and coxswains get to hang out, because they are like a family, anyone who spends that much time together would feel that sense of community.”

But there are downsides to rowing as well. It is a very difficult sport that takes up a lot of time. About half the people that joined at the same time she did quit halfway through the year, she said.

Winter training is what causes a majority of their members to quit, as it is too cold or wet to be on the water so they do long workouts and races on Erg machines, which is a stationary machine that simulates rowing. Flanagan calls the machines “torture devices”.

She has not given up, despite the difficulty of the workouts and the pressure put on by the coaches. Flanagan enjoys the sport too much.

“You go through such physical and mental pain, it makes it worth it,” Flanagan said. “It’s addicting, I guess.”


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Havlat to Kings fans: You’re No. 1

San Jose’s Martin Havlat certainly appeared to have a special greeting for fans seated rink-side at Staples Center tonight after he scored his first-period goal…

Click below for the video…

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20170320_101733I have over 10 years experience in the landscape industry designing and installing outdoor projects throughout the US and another 7 years experience working for companies providing products for outdoor living.  I work with homeowners, landscapers and garden centers to create beautiful and functional designs.  My passion for landscaping and outdoor living started when I began working part-time in college for my brother in Indianapolis doing anything from landscape maintenance projects to new landscaping, irrigation and hardscape installs.

After college, I ran a landscape & irrigation company for over 6 years.  It is here that I learned the importance of the customers’ experience and how very dependent their level of satisfaction is with the overall product. Knowing this helped me to stay focused on actively listening to my customers and understanding the space they are trying to create. Being able to pull together a design from my customers thoughts and inspiration, and to hear “Wow, this is exactly what we wanted!” is beyond exciting!

I love working outdoors, so much so, that I have functioned two offices outside…one al fresco and the other under a covered patio.   So, it pleases me when I am able to encourage my customers through a design to do more outdoor living too!

Peace & Goodwill – Cherie

I look forward to hearing from you!
If you will, please fill out the below information
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Thank you!  Cherie


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Written by LaneCoveCats

1 January 2016

Holgate Real Estate is a third generation, family owned and operated business established in 1964 by Roy Holgate, the father of the previous owner, Brian Holgate and the grandfather of the current owner, Timothy Holgate.

They have an extensive, ever growing database of current buyers in the marketplace including individuals, private companies, banks and financial institutions who require specialised and accurate information and advice. The business has also established a strong tradition of participation within the community that has supported it. With comprehensive local engagement, they aim to demonstrate a strong commitment to Lane Cove and its environs.

You will find their office centrally located in the heart of the Lane Cove Shopping Village where their team of experienced sales consultants and property management staff will provide you with a personal service of quality and value. Their highly competent sales support team and office administration staff back the award winning sales and property management teams. All have many years of service with the company and are probably the most experienced (over 100 combined years experience), knowledgeable and longest serving in the Lane Cove area.

Apple Dental provides you with a fresh approach to dentistry.

Their modern practice in Lane Cove, Sydney, our friendly Apple Dental team offer you a comprehensive choice of modern dentistry procedures. Whether you’re looking for preventive dental care and hygiene instruction, or cosmetic dentistry from teeth whitening and dental implants to complete smile makeovers, we are proud to serve you.

Contact them today and schedule a consultation with a respected dentist in Lane Cove. Onsite parking is available for all our patients.

The upgrade and maintenance of airfields within Australia and overseas is now strictly governed and requires higher levels of safety, security and compliance to standard construction projects.  Avionics meets this demand. Avionics has reinvented the airfield services contracting industry. Our procedures and installation methods are without peer. We use our own designed and patented Mobile Coring Rigs specific for our industry. Our Safety accreditation is to the highest possible standard in Australia (Office of Federal Safety Commissioner OHS Accreditation, a step beyond AS/NZ 4801).  Our knowledge of operational airfields, MOS and ICAO standards, and the experience of working on the biggest airfields in the world ensures your airport is in safe hands.

Gillard Consulting Lawyers is a commercial law firm focused on client needs.

We are an experienced team that thrives on delivering exceptional service and solving complex and challenging legal problems.  We take the time to understand your aims and objectives and provide the effort and judgment needed to get you the best outcome.

We understand the many facets of compliance, negotiation and litigation and will use our knowledge and experience to lead you through the legal process and deliver results.

Lane Cove Physiotherapy Centre is staffed with an advanced team of sports physiotherapists and exercise and science therapists offerring leading edge skills in assessment, treatment and individualized planning for return to sport, competition or daily activities.

As a patient, you will experience the competent use of manual therapy, soft tissue work, motor patterning / re-training and the latest advances in exercise techniques to help you get back on the park quicker.

You will receive personalized treatment from Jack and his team, which will address the stage and nature of your specific ailment or injury. Our therapists will work with you to expedite your return to your sport or chosen activity, whether that is a championship level of competition, the rapid return to work or a stroll around Lane Cove on a brisk Saturday morning”

Lane Cove Orthodontics

Dr’s Teriko Rex and Darin Ballard, of Lane Cove Orthodontics, are the only specialist Orthodontic practice in Lane Cove and have been operating since 2004.

They specialize in orthodontics for both children and adults.

The rooms at Lane Cove Orthodontics are state of the art, offering that extra level of service, such as Invisible treatments with Invisalign and Incognito braces and the brand new Sure Smile system to reduce treatment time.

Lane Cove Orthodontics is honoured to be involved in the sponsorship of the Lane Cove Cats. We are delighted to support such a committed football team in our local community.   We are looking forward to a great season of football and to support the team for many years to come.

You May Also Like…

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Annual Fund

The La Roche University Annual Fund is a yearly fundraising campaign aimed at garnering financial support from alumni and friends of the University.

Colleges and universities rely heavily on tuition revenue to sustain their operations. However, the cost of providing a high-quality, affordable education cannot be met through tuition alone. For this reason, La Roche University relies heavily on donations to the Annual Fund that are used to offset operating expenses. Without this support, these expenses would need to be met completely through tuition revenue, thus making a college education impossible to afford for many of our students. Gifts to the Annual Fund support the areas of greatest impact, because they support a multitude of needs.

The Annual Fund at La Roche University solicits support through a number of efforts including direct mail and email appeals. For more information on the Annual Fund, contact Craig Bruno, Director of Annual Giving and Advancement Services at 412-536-1152 or


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New Orleans

This is a test. I’m trying to learn how to do combined multiple picture designs.

Combined, because I’ve crashed two templates. I’ve also used some older pictures that those of you who are new to Storyteller may never have seen. They highlight a couple of tourist areas. Places that some of you might go if you came to my fair town.

While I was writing, I learned something very new. It appears that the block in which I am working expands to contain the new text. That’s great, but I have to watch the depth if I want some air between the text and the images.

The Pictures

I suppose that you’d like to know a little bit about them because this is, after all, a photography blog.

The top image is Canal Street at dusk.

The bridge is the Crescent City Connection, which crosses The Mississippi River to the Westbank.

Next to it is Bayou St. John.

Below that is a French Quarter scene,

Far left is Magazine Street.

Canal Street. Streetcar.

I hope you’ve me followed this deep. I’d love some feedback. Positive — of course. Negative — because it’s needed.

All About learning

Learn from me if you’d like. You are going to be right behind me. I like challenges, but many of you won’t. There is an old school template that I believe predates me. That means it’s at least ten years ten years old. That’s the option if you hate the block system.

One design note. I’ve thrown just about every design tool that I’ve used to date into this page. Drop caps. Headings. Multiple pictures. Offset text. I could do other things that I’m not so sure about when it comes to contemporary design. I could change the color of the pages. I could do that in one go, or block by block. I could change the color of the type, again in one go or block by clock. I’m more minimal than all of that.

Stay Safe. Enjoy every sandwich.

The marching band arrived late.

This Mardi Gras parade season seems doomed.

Last night we had tropical storm level winds, the gusts were around 40 mph. So the parades were postponed. Two will roll tonight minus all the walking groups. The third will roll on Sunday. That means 164 floats will be on the streets tonight. At least one of the most powerful krewes in the city — The Muses — will roll during daylight, when their floats are meant for night time. At least they get to roll.

The last twenty or so floats of Nyx may never get to roll. Even if they did, they may not have many “throws” because they could mostly only take what they could carry after the tragic end to their parade The Nyx captain is is exploring joining the Krewe of Pandora, which rolls in Metairie on Sunday. The captain of the Krewe of Nix – Julie Lea — is also the captain of Pandora. They’ll know sometime today. There are two issues. Very few throws. And, they rent their floats. There may not be enough floats for them.

Meanwhile, we’ve learned a lot about the unfortunate woman who died on Wednesday night. She was 58-year-old Geraldine Carmouche. She did not trip or fall. She was trying to pick up some beads.

She gave her life for maybe ten cents worth of Chinese manufactured beads.

She was born and raised here. Toddlers are taught from the moment they come to parades not to run out into the street for beads. Do no cross in front of moving floats or marching bands. When I arrived 20 years ago that’s the first thing I was told when I attended my first parade.

Reading comments on Facebook was sickening. Many attacked the victim. They accused her of being drunk, of having no responsibility. Apparently, they never heard the old saying, “Never speak ill of the dead.” I guess this the the world in which we live.

I’m not buying that. I think she had a kind of tunnel vision. I’ve seen it a lot on parade routes. Parade goers see nothing but throws. They are aggressive and they want them all. Even though she was well old enough to know better, and a local, I think that’s what happened to Ms. Carmouche.

Four more issues to discuss. I promise that I’ll keep it short.

The picture is a leftover. With no parades last night, I ran out of culled and processed images. I also decided that the images I made while the Krewe of Nix was rolling will forever be unprocessed and will not see the light of day.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve changed my policy of not publishing names. While Storyteller remains art driven, I can’t tell stories without names. Of course I’ll follow my own ethical rules which are informed by years of journalism at a time when we were respected.

I’ve long said that the work is the prayer. If I believe that, I must work tonight. There are enough people who could use a few prayers right about now. And, that’s just in New Orleans.

Mardi Gras parades are an interesting thing. Just about ever local who participates in them does it for the experience, for the fun.

I talked to enough people on Twitter to realize that they were overjoyed at not having to be anywhere near the parades last night. One woman on NOLATwitter said that she felt free.

If that’s the case, just what the hell are we doing?

Do we feel so obligated to “celebrate” that it’s become work?

Even me. I was preparing to go to the parade route when I checked social media one more time. Even though I’m not riding on floats, or marching in bands, or throwing beads, I can’t tell you how relieved I was that I didn’t have to go.

What am I thinking?

Mardi Gras Parades.

All about motion. Movement. Energy.

Often, it’s hard to show that. Motion is thought of being better portrayed on video. I don’t make videos. I do it using still cameras. I’ve done that since the days of film. For a time, I made my career on that.

The trick is to find something that’s recognizable and keep that somewhat sharp. Like a face. With a big smile. With laughing eyes.

I don’t do it as much because in the digital age, everybody thinks the picture should be sharp from front to back. That’s too bad. I find intentional motion blur to be one of the most interesting parts of a photograph. There’s many ways to do that. One, easy way, is to focus on something that doesn’t move, use a slow shutter speed and let things in motion pass through the picture.

That’s not what I did.

I allowed the subject’s natural motion meet my natural motion and create another kind of painterly motion to take place. Because the picture was made at night, all I did was stop down and let the shutter speed take care of itself.

As far as presenting pictures from Mardi Gras goes, I’m not going to try to show them in chronological order. Instead, I’m grouping them by photographic subject matter. I’ve been lucky to have made really good shoots. There is too much material to present the pictures by parade. Yesterday’s post of ten pictures was way too much. It was hard on me to do the prep work. It was hard on you to work your way through so many images. There is one blogger who posts a lot of pictures. He or she is proud of themselves when they write something like there are 42 pictures in this post. I usually just trash the blog. I don’t know about you, but 42 pictures is way too many to view. Especially, when it looks like the photographer stepped two steps to the left or right. Sheesh. Cull your work.

That’s not a rant. It’s a pro tip.

New Mardi Gras parades resume on Wednesday. You’ll probably see the work in a week. Heh!

The wide angle version of Magazine Street at dusk.

Yes. Arrrggggghhhh.

Google, apparently lacking enough to do, redesigned their desktop. The very desktop that I use 20 times a day. The one with my eight favorite sites like Storyteller. I would see the thumbnail, click on it and a way I went.

Oh no. Not anymore.

The new desktop only has six buttons. Sales buttons to websites like Amazon, Ebay and on and on. Yes. Twitter and Facebook are there too. If I want anything else I have to do a “smart search.” WTF? Storyteller is gone. My news sites are gone. MLB is gone. (Baseball) I’m gonna have to figure out a work around. It may just be that I can replace those buttons with my buttons. I’ll find out.

I don’t know about you, but I’m really tired of being manipulated, controlled and shepherded at every turn. Try to read almost anything and you have to negotiate about 28 pop ups — that’s an exaggeration — but you get it. Sheesh.

That’s my rant for today. Sorry.

The picture. It’s a wide angle version of the one a posted last week. I was stumbling around in my out takes and thought it would be go to explore a different direction. I like the deep blue sky about as much as I like the setting sun. I think it’s important to look at things from different perspectives. Not only photographically, but in life. I’m pretty sure that might close the gap in all of this polarization we see right now. But, what do I know?

Dusk comes to Magazine Street.

Back to the past. Just a little.

Generally, whenever I photograph something I don’t self edit in the field. I photograph whatever I see. As I work through my take, I curate pictures that don’t fit into — Oh, let’s say Mardi Gras — but were made at the same time into another collection.

This is one of those pictures. I made it as I was leaving the staging area of a parade. The school buses in the mid ground have just dropped off a high school marching band. Eventually, once some streets have cleared, they will make their way to the end of the parade to pick up their exhausted band members. Well… the buses won’t do anything unless the drivers get into the act.

I have a nice little portfolio of these kinds of semi-Mardi Gras pictures that I’m going to start sharing with you over the course of the next few days. I think that I’ll mix them with some new spring work.

The picture. Newer gear means easier tricks. This picture is hand-held. I was walking back to my car when I saw the scene. I made a few frames without anybody walking in the street as sort of insurance. I waited until somebody crossed the street. This was one of those rare occasions when you can wander in the middle of the street because it’s closed to traffic. The cars you see in the background are police or sheriff’s cars. Once I made the picture that I thought I wanted, I left and headed to my car.

There is one trick that I can tell you about. If you are in low or changing light set your ISO to automatic, even if everything else is manual. Not only does this compensate for changing light, but because cameras these days are really small computers, they also make much better exposures. For instance, at this time of day you might set your ISO to 2,000. But you might not need an ISO of 2,000. By setting the ISO there you might introduce a lot of noise into your image. If you let the camera pick the ISO, even if it says 2,000 it might really be seeing at an ISO of — just guessing — 1875. Better exposure and less noise. Also less work in post production. And, if you are shooting JPEGS you are probably dead on.

Of course, the best way to meter light is with a hand-held meter and all manual settings. But, sometimes when the action is fast paced you just don’t have time to do that.

A wave and a smile.
A wave and a smile.

It’s the people.

Whether they are in a marching band, a krewe member riding a float, somebody riding a horse or even the people waving for beads or throws, Mardi Gras parades are about the people. It’s really just that simple.

The pictures. F something and be there. That’s also simple. Oh yeah, if you interact with the folks on the floats, they’ll wave at you. Some of them will even give you beads or some other throw. I never really ask. But, if they hand them to me I always say thank you.

More parades tonight. We’ll see how I do.

St Augustine Marching 100 flag bearer.
St Augustine Marching 100 flag bearer.

Mardi Gras Parades.

I work mostly in the dark. I overshoot. Mostly, to back myself up. I’m never really sure if I made the picture while I’m standing out there. I don’t chimp. That’s to say that I never look at the LCD. It just breaks my work and thought flow. If I need to reset something, I do it through the eyepiece. The LCD is turned off.

Here are a few pictures that you haven’t seen yet, but should. At least, I think you should. They are fairly straight forward, except that I react a lot to color as well as broken patterns. Like the picture of “The Vibrant Color and the Drummer.” The color caught my attention first. Then I saw the pattern that really isn’t a pattern. Or, the pattern on the back of the drum major’s back, which is more important to me than the band itself.

Something like that.

Krewe of Amelia Earhawt.
Krewe of Amelia Earhawt.

So. It begins. The Uptown parades began to roll on Friday night.

As you already know, I like to work the margins. The edges. Along the gutters. There’s a good reason for that. I cannot compete on a timely basis with about 10,000 people armed with smart phones, and news media outlets who all immediately post via Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. In many ways, I don’t want to. I looked at my feeds. Just about every picture of this parade looked alike. A couple of floats, with the crowd surging around raising their hands begging for beads. The pictures I saw last night looked about the same as they did last year. The year before that. And, ten years ago before the storm.

So. I have to do my thing. I work the edges. I look for a moment in time. I actively engage the people I photograph. I try not to make many “scene setters.” The work you are seeing today, are the scenes I saw last night. Not everybody saw this. I’m fairly certain these pictures are very different from anybody else’s pictures. My vision. My intent. That’s kind of the only way I can do it. Otherwise, I’d get bored. So would you.

The only picture that needs explanation is “Cotton Candy Sky.” The rest are fairly self-explanatory. We had a wonderful first night. Temperatures were in the low 60s or upper 50s. When the sun started to set and dusk rolled in, a cotton candy sky is what we got. What I saw. What I had to show you.

Cotten candy sky.
Cotton candy sky.

Rainy night on Magazine Street.
Rainy night on Magazine Street.

It must be the colors in the sky. That’s why I’m drawn to pictures like this.

I sort of made a left turn. Then another left turn. I retreated from New Mexico pictures and moved back to where I live. At least, for now. There was a practical reason for it. I had a  bunch of client requests. I’m like anybody else. Money motivates me. Once I started looking through my NOLA files, I realized that there is a lot of work that you haven’t seen. So, here we go…

This exercise actually made me smile. Everybody was getting a little grumpy around here. Extremely high temperatures will do that to you. Also, the television weather guys reminded us that we have had 46 days in a row of 90 degree highs. Whew. We traveled some during that time. But, everywhere that we went was hot. I also realized that even when the temperature didn’t reach 90 degrees, 89 degrees isn’t much different. I haven’t been in cool weather — anywhere — since the first week of May. It wears on you. Yeah, sure. We have air conditioning. But, living inside isn’t all that much fun. I like being outside. Sheesh. How do you think I make all of these pictures? Even the dogs who live here are getting a little grumpy. These are dogs who think they are being abused when they have to share a couch with their humans. But, dogs are dogs. They’d rather be outside. Eating fresh ripe strawberries right from the bush before we can get to them. Little jerks.

Enough. Ranting about the weather won’t do much. Probably just make me hotter.

This picture. This is truly just f8 and be there. I made the picture while I crossing the street. We were probably going to dinner. Those weird things in the sky that look like blobs are rain drops on the lens. You can even some rain falling in mid-picture. I did tinker with the picture a bit. Basically, I just adjusted the contrast to bring the highlights and shadow a little more in balance.

The good news. The New Orleans Saints (American football team for those of you in other parts of the world) are playing their first training game in a few minutes. Obviously, it’s autumn and the weather is cool. Or not. One more thing for my non-US friends. American football is mostly played during autumn and early winter. It’s cooler, or even cold then. So… it must be cooler. Right this minute.


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Somewhere Out There

Surprise, I’m still alive. Actually, I’ve felt more alive recently than I have in a long time. That’s an interesting side effect of getting up early and going outside every day. In my case, it involves a lot of running – interspersed with biking, hiking, and yoga.

Just for the record, I have always hated getting up early. My family will verify this fact.

Even after doing this morning running thing five days a week for the past six months it has still not magically become an enjoyable “habit”.

The process of rousing myself out of bed in the semi-dark, stumbling around pulling on the work-out clothes, lacing up the shoes, going through the warm-ups… is agonizing. Every. Single. Day.

But, I’m doing it anyway.

  1. I love how I feel when it’s over. Or, inversely, I hate how I feel when I miss a day.

And, because…

2. I have committed myself to running a full marathon in 8 weeks (54 days to be exact – YIKES!!!).

And yes, I agree it was a crazy idea and I often wonder what I was thinking.

So, if you don’t see me posting here as often as usual, just know that I’m “somewhere out there” on the back-roads and trails of Northern Utah. I’m thinking of you and hoping you are well and that you won’t give up on me.

Meanwhile, please be sure to come and check out my daily progress and follow my adventures on my Instagram account!

Happy Trails, – MoSop

  1. Great Post. I can’t believe you are doing this but I certainly admire your tenacity. I have been hibernating all summer to avoid the heat which I hate most of all. Always love to read your posts. Love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The heat has been really bad this year. Getting up and out super early has been the only way to survive – but, good news – it’s starting to cool off! Plus, the Lagoon trail is awesome and shady.

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Indigo X-Ray Calla Lilies Shower Curtain

Beautify your bathroom decor with the serene floral image of Laural Home’s “Indigo X-Ray Calla Lilies” shower curtain. This nature-inspired design features a unique technique of using an X-Ray machine on a cluster of calla lilies and will add style to any decor.

All of our products are digitally printed to create crisp, vibrant colors and images. Printed on imported fabric. Please allow 5-7 days for items to ship.

  • Measures 71"W x 72"L
  • 12 button holes for hook placement
  • Hooks not included
  • Machine washable
  • Printed on 100% polyester
      Artist: Albert Koetsier


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My time at TOMS gave me a unique opportunity to think about social impact in everything I did. The brand’s strength and exponential growth was the result of its giving program: “one for one”. I learned first hand that it is far more difficult to sustainably give 25 million pairs of shoes annually in underserved communities than it is to sell the same amount through our direct and wholesale distribution channels. In the span of 3 years, I built the largest global supply chain for gift-in-kind in developing countries.

I left TOMS with a firm belief that leading brands in the next decade will have successfully built ecosystems where “Doing Good and Doing Well” feed off each other. It will create effortless loyalty with customers, strong employee retention/engagement and ultimately sustained profitable growth.

Organizations need to look at their values, their talent, their business model and decide what impact they are uniquely qualified to deliver sustainably.

At lululemon, I focused on two very specific areas:

  • I leveraged my experience in Haiti to start a manufacturing program that created over 2000 jobs in one of the poorest countries in the World. It reduced our carbon footprint and cut our lead times by 2 weeks.
  • I used our ambassador network to create “Here to Be”. A foundation dedicated to bringing mindfulness and meditation to kids in underserved communities.


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Policies and Procedures

Our classrooms are password protected.  You must purchase a class to receive the password.

You can purchase online by clicking the link on our homepage or at our website www.lauriespeltz.com  You may call your order in by phone.  Call us at 515-253-9881.

We accept Mastercard, Visa and Discover Card.  Payments are in US Dollars.

Our class materials and videos are presented in English.

*All materials including videos, photos, patterns, instructions are protected and copyrighted.  We encourage you to view and enjoy them all and use them to death.  You may not however share or sell any class materials you are provided.  They are intended for the use of the person who has purchased this class.  Just as you would need a ticket to attend a class or workshop in person; this works the same way.  You may however create any of the handcrafted finished items presented for resale at craft or art shows.  Any other commercial use of these items or materials is prohibited.  If you have any questions, please contact us for more information or clarification.

*All class fees are non-refundable.  If a technical problem occurs or you are having trouble,  please contact us for assistance.  We will do our best to help you.

©2013 Laurie Speltz

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Chambray Shirts Mix Of 20

This product is currently sold out.

Please fill in the form below if you'd like to be notified when it becomes available.

Chambray denim shirt mix of 20 per box. These shirts may range in button type, length and size. Sizes range from XS - XL.

The products included in the shipment will differ depending on LA Vintage Wholesale’s stock. As depicted, these images are samples of products that you might receive.

Condition: Grade A & Grade B. LA Vintage Wholesale offers a wide selection of products in excellent condition. These products are unique and high quality. We offer virtual shopping experiences for our customers with smaller orders for a more curated mix where we personally handpick each item. As well as, we offer warehouse appointments. Please contact for more information!


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Trump Critics Say He's Using Stockpile to Help Republicans | Law & Crime
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Critics Say Trump Is Using National Stockpile as ‘Ventilator Slush Fund’ for Republican Lawmakers

For the second time this week, President Donald Trump granted a vulnerable Republican lawmaker’s request to provide their state with ventilators, leading critics to attribute political motivations to the president’s allocation of scarce life-saving medical resources.

Arizona’s Republican Gov. Doug Ducey on Friday declared that the state had secured 100 ventilators from the federal government’s Strategic National Stockpile to help the state respond to an expected spike in COVID-19 coronavirus cases. In announcing the acquisition of the lifesaving equipment, Gov. Ducey specifically thanked President Trump for providing the machines and thanks Sen. Martha McSally (R-Ariz.) for lobbying the president on the issue.

“Huge news for Arizona! I spoke with [President Trump] on Wednesday afternoon to request additional ventilators from the Strategic National Stockpile,” McSally wrote. “Today, POTUS delivers with 100 ventilators headed to AZ. Thank you to President Trump and [Vice President Mike Pence] for hearing our call.”

As previously reported by Law&Crime this week, the Trump administration also stopped Colorado’s Democratic Gov. Jared Polis from privately purchasing 500 ventilators, claiming them for the National Stockpile. Trump then announced on Wednesday that he was sending Colorado 100 of the ventilators, but in doing so, the president made it clear that he was doing so at the request of Republican Sen. Cory Gardner.

Both Colorado and Arizona are considered swing states in the upcoming 2020 election and Sens. McSally and Gardner are both in toss-up elections that hold the Senate majority in the balance.

Trump critics on the left were quick to point out that the president, who has clamored for praise regarding his response to the virus on many occasions, appeared to be strategically doling out the National Stockpile’s equipment to states where Republican lawmakers could use a political boost.

President of the Center for American Progress Neera Tanden called Trump’s conduct an example of “gutter politics.”

“In these tough times, I’m going to send a donation to Mark Kelly because the idea that Trump is using life-saving ventilators to boost the prospects of vulnerable Republican senators is the gutter politics we need to end this November,” Tanden commented.

MSNBC analyst and former director of the Justice Department’s public affairs office Matthew Miller went as far as to say that Trump was using the National Stockpile as a “ventilator slush fund.”

“So the national stockpile has essentially been turned into a ventilator slush fund for Trump to bestow on GOP Senators up for re-election,” Miller wrote. “Unless you think Trump would also do this for [Democratic Senator from Alabama] Doug Jones.”

Former Obama administration attorney Eric Columbus, and attorney and NBC News legal analyst Katie Phang also derided the president.

[Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images]

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Jerry Lambe is a journalist at Law&Crime. He is a graduate of Georgetown University and New York Law School and previously worked in financial securities compliance and Civil Rights employment law.


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'Inexplicable' Trump Pardon of Robert Zangrillo Raises Eyebrows
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Under the Radar ‘Varsity Blues’ Trump Pardon Is Particularly ‘Inexplicable,’ and Swampy

Bob Zangrillo and Keir Alexa of Keir Alexa JetSet.com attends the French Montana & Mohamed Hadid Birthday Party Powered By CIROC Pineapple and Produced By CultCollectiveEvents.com on November 9, 2014 in Los Angeles, California.

Buried amidst the celebrity-infused headlines that formed the narrative for former president Donald Trump’s last and final round of pardons is the curious case of a Miami real estate developer.

According to the White House, Robert “Bob” Zangrillo was granted a full pardon over his charges “in connection with the Varsity Blues investigation.” The bout of clemency was allegedly supported by Len Blavatnik, Geoff Palmer, Tom Barrack, Sean Parker, Walid Abu-Zalaf, Medo Alsaloussi, and Kevin Downing.

A representative for Parker claims otherwise.

“Sean doesn’t know him and did not make any request for a pardon on his behalf,” a spokesperson told Law&Crime.

Pressed to explain the discrepancy, the spokesperson said that Parker has “no further comment at this time.”

In another bizarre twist, a representative for Barrack also disputed the details provided by the White House.

“Mr. Barrack had nothing whatsoever to do with Mr. Zangrillo’s pardon,” a spokesperson told Law&Crime. “He never intervened and never had discussion with anyone about it. All reports to the contrary are patently false.”

“However, his daughter did not have others take standardized tests for her and she is currently earning a 3.9 GPA at the University of Southern California,” a White House press release notes. “Mr. Zangrillo is a well-respected business leader and philanthropist.”

The explanation for the pardon, at least facially, seems to rely upon the younger Zangrillo’s scholastic efforts and her lack of ethical lapses viz. the SATs. But that’s not particularly notable in terms of the broader U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) investigation into the college admissions testing and bribery scandal, and prosecutors alleged that Zangrillo’s daughter Amber knew about the scheme.

Several wealthy families were rocked by dozens of charges starting in late 2019 over behavior they long believed they were entitled to as a matter of social status and right: buying their kids’ way into college with hefty sums of money.

While far from sympathetic in the public eye, many attorneys and legal experts were similarly askance that any crimes had actually been committed by parents whose largesse had long been counted on by university admissions committees and administrators. The cycle, this argument went, was vicious but mutually-accepted, taken for granted and facilitated by the universities themselves; some legal commentators outright said there were no victims in these crimes as charged.

A few parents, such as Full House actress Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli, initially mounted defenses predicated on some version of this argument–before ultimately cutting plea deals. The prosecutions steamed on ahead and multiple U.S. Attorneys came away with multiple high-priced pelts ripped from the backs of the American aristocracy.

So, what’s so different about Zangrillo? Why was he the only person pardoned in connection with the Varsity Blues scandal by a president whose own DOJ initiated the prosecutions in the first place?

“This one is another good example of how personal, rather than principled, so many of these pardons are,” Law&Crime founder Dan Abrams said Wednesday—noting that many of the other “Varsity Blues” parents had similar business accomplishments and philanthropic histories, but did not have others take standardized tests for their kids. Like Zangrillo, some defendants were accused of trying to get their kids into schools based on bogus athletic feats and money.

Zangrillo was slapped with a raft of charges–conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and honest services mail and wire fraud; conspiracy to commit federal programs bribery; conspiracy to commit money laundering; and wire fraud and honest services wire fraud – aiding and abetting–after allegedly securing his daughter’s admission to USC by working with university staff to conjure her into an athlete that she decidedly wasn’t.

Specifically, Zangrillo was accused of bribing USC officials who went along with the fiction that his daughter was a rowing athlete–one who was so dedicated to her sport that she somehow attended a crew club for 44 hours each week. None of that was true, of course, but the similarities to other high-profile prosecutions in the overall scandal should raise an alarm bell over the pardon, Abrams said.

Loughlin and Giannulli, after all, were dragged through the muck of unflattering headlines and the wood-grain interior of the U.S. legal system for months—in no small part because they created fake rowing profiles for their daughters in order to boost their kids’ admissions to USC.

Trump’s singling out of Zangrillo for special treatment while every other parent—many of them quite similarly situated—was left out, raises questions about the tech venture capitalist’s ties to titans of industry and the role those ties played in clemency. Notably, Zangrillo’s pardon was supported by a Who’s Who list of wealthy entrepreneurs–and Paul Manafort’s onetime lead attorney.

Also of note is how Zangrillo, unlike many other parents charged in the scandal, steadfastly fought the DOJ over his charges. Several parents quickly buckled under the pressure and allocuted in front of stern-faced judges and aggressive federal prosecutors. But not Zangrillo, who is now the only parent to escape prosecution.

“Rather than accept responsibility, as some did, he has dug in,” Abrams said. Zangrillo pleaded not guilty and was scheduled to go to trial in September.

U.S. Attorney for the District of Massachusetts Andrew Lelling, a Trump appointee, told the Associated Press that the Trump pardon “illustrates precisely why Operation Varsity Blues was necessary in the first place.”

“It is the highest calling of the criminal justice system to hold all people equally to account, regardless of wealth or privilege,” Lelling said.

Zangrillo also happens to have been charged in an unrelated case in early 2020 over allegedly running a series of scam websites—raising further questions as to why the real estate magnate was viewed as deserving of mercy when others were not.

“With the Russia investigation pardons there was a sort of twisted consistency: if you didn’t turn on President Trump you were pardoned,” Abrams concluded. “As self-serving as that is, this influence peddling involves totally inexplicable and disparate treatment for people accused of exactly the same crime.”

[image via Rochelle Brodin/Getty Images for Cult CollectiveEvents]

Editor’s note: this article has been amended post-publication to include a denial from Sean Parker and Tom Barrack.

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The Equal Rights Amendments and Its Possible Meanings

In the 1970s, the proposed Equal Rights Amendment passed both houses of Congress with the requisite two thirds supermajority and then went to the states for ratification.  The proposed Amendment then quickly secured numerous ratifications (ultimately securing 35 of the requisite 38 state ratifications) and looked sure to pass.  But then the momentum for the Amendment stopped and it never secured the necessary ratifications.

A big part of the arguments against the proposed Amendment were that it would lead to certain consequences, which were generally regarded at the time as extremely unattractive.  While opponents of the Amendment argued it might or would have these consequences, proponents generally denied it.  This is a common phenomenon, which has occurred many times during debates about proposed constitutional provisions.  (After the provision passes, the sides often switch.)

Perhaps the most common of these controversial consequences were that the Amendment would require same sex marriage, women in combat, and unisex bathrooms.  At the time, these were extremely unpopular and significantly contributed to the failure of the proposed Amendment.  It is interesting to note that today these issues are thought of quite differently.

Let’s start with same sex marriage.  Obviously, this has been a politically controversial matter, which the Supreme Court recently took out of the political realm to decide on constitutional grounds.  If same sex marriage is required by the Equal Protection Clause, it would certainly have been required by the Equal Rights Amendment.  Thus, something that seemed quite unrealistic when raised as an objection to the Equal Rights Amendment, turned out to be required by the Constitution and accepted by significant percentage of the nation.

Now consider women in combat.  The history of this area is usefully summarized by this recent Congress Research Service report:

Over the past two decades of conflict, women have served with valor and continue to serve on combat aircraft, naval vessels, and in support of ground combat operations. The expansion of roles for women in the Armed Forces has evolved since the early days of the military when women were restricted by law and policy from serving in certain occupations and units. Women are not precluded by law from serving in any military unit or occupational specialty. However, a 1994 Department of Defense (DOD) policy prevented women from being assigned to units below brigade level where the unit’s primary mission was to engage directly in ground combat. This policy barred women from serving in infantry, artillery, armor, combat engineers, and special operations units of battalion size or smaller. On January 24, 2013, then-Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta rescinded the rule that restricted women from serving in combat units and directed the military departments to review their occupational standards and assignment policies for implementation no later than January 1, 2016. On December 3, 2015, Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter ordered the military to open all combat jobs to women with no exceptions.

We have been moving over time towards women in combat and it seems that we are now taking the last few steps in that direction.  Unlike same sex marriage, this was not required by constitutional law, but instead through policy (implemented largely by Democratic administrations).

Finally, there is unisex bathrooms.  While such bathrooms do not exist in most places, except some college dorms, the related question of bathrooms for transgendered individuals is now a matter of hot controversy.  So far this has not involved constitutional law, but state laws such as North Carolina’s or court decisions interpreting Title IX.  If a transgendered person who identifies with one gender, but has the sex organs of another, is allowed to use the bathrooms, locker rooms, and showers of the sex that person identifies with, that will be a significant step towards such unisex bathrooms (although it will obviously not result in full unisex bathrooms).  Depending on how many transgendered people there are, this will no doubt lead to different norms and facilities in bathrooms, locker rooms, and showers.

Forty years later, the world has changed.  What were once regarded as fringe positions are now controversial but mainstream positions.


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Recipe: Potato and Bacon Pizza

Have you ever decided it’s about time to start eating more healthy food and then been found as a sad, crying mess on the couch because you came to the realisation that it meant you couldn’t order a large pizza to eat by yourself while watching Lost anymore? Yeah.. me either.

Recently, I’ve been trying to be a bit healthier in my food choices but I’m not going to sacrifice my pizza and Lost re-watch ritual so I wondered what I could do as an alternative. Since the first time I ever tried a Potato Pizza I loved it – but found many places don’t make them and tend to stick with the standard tomato sauce base with toppings loaded on top and smothered with cheese – so trying to make a potato pizza seemed like an obvious choice to lighten up my pizza a bit and well, it tastes great!

My delicious Potato and Bacon pizza

My delicious Potato and Bacon pizza

I looked around for some recipes I could try but most of them weren’t really what I was looking for, until I stumbled on this recipe from It was easy to make and didn’t involve to many ingredients to deter me from giving it a try (I have a habit of scanning a recipe list and getting lazy after about ingredient #6). I didn’t use as much bacon as suggested (only 1 rasher) and omitted the baby rocket altogether.

I’ve set this recipe as serves 1 (mostly because my plugin wouldn’t let me choose 1 – 2) because, honestly, I eat one to myself (as if I’d share this!) If my myfitnesspal tracker is anything to go by (which it might not be) this is 570 calories, so if that is to much for you, you could eat half and team it up with a salad instead.

The first time around making this we sliced the potato by hand, it was pretty difficult to get them thin enough to cook in time and so I ended up buying a Mandoline and put it on a  thin slice. It’s a time saver and the pizza tastes much better so if you’re going to make this, do yourself a favour and buy one. Just be careful though, they’re incredibly sharp, I was amazed by how easily it sliced through the potato.

You could use your own base for this but I chose to buy one. This is my 3rd attempt and my favourite so far.  The base is just a piece of Lebanese Bread, it was crisp and worked wonderfully with the potato. I don’t know what happens when you put cheese,  potato and bacon together but it is something amazing and just delicious!

Potato and Bacon Pizza
Serves 1
A easy and fast to make pizza that is delicious!
Write a review
Prep Time
5 min
Cook Time
10 min
Total Time
15 min
Prep Time
5 min
Cook Time
10 min
Total Time
15 min
  1. 1 pizza base - I used store bought in this case
  2. 3/4 cup pizza cheese
  3. 1 medium potato, thinly sliced
  4. 1 rasher shortcut bacon, roughly chopped
  5. A pinch of salt
  6. Mixed herbs - I used dry Mixed Herbs.
  1. 1. Preheat oven to 200°C (395°F), slightly higher if not using a fan forced oven
  2. 2. While oven is preheating lay base down on a pizza tray and cover with 1/2 of cheese.
  3. 3. Layer potato over the pizza base, slightly overlapping each piece
  4. 4. Scatter Bacon pieces over Potato
  5. 5. Cover in remaining cheese
  6. 6. Add salt and mixed herbs (to taste)
  7. 7. Place into preheated oven for 10 minutes (turning after 5), slice and serve.
  1. I recommend using a Mandoline for the potato. The first attempt I didn't and the potato wasn't sliced thinly enough to cook in the required time.
Adapted from
Adapted from
Oh So Lazily

  1. Tristian says:

    YES YES YES. Delicious. I’m finding it quite fun to find healthy alternatives for snacks and meals in general now. It started as a chore but now it’s rewarding finding something awesome thats much better ! And I love myfitness pal. My best friend lol.

  2. Manda says:

    I’ve always been intrigued by recipes that call for potato on pizza! I wonder if that would be too… starchy? I should definitely try it sometime though as I LOVE both potatoes and bread, haha. This looks really good!

  3. AbsentElemental says:

    I was reading the recipe that yours was based off of and I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what the hell baby rocket was. Apparently the United States is the only place to call it arugula. Once I saw a picture of it, everything made sense.

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