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Posts tagged “cowgirls

Happy New Year, y’all & best wishes as the seasons unfold. I hope you had a grand ole holiday time; for my part, I finally got some much needed rest & a spell to rotate some albums of 2016 — especially country releases — that I never got to hear during the course of last year. We of Cactus Rose are taking some time to conjure, connect culturally & write songs during January & then we will be doing two shows on the Brooklyn Country scene in February. I will be making my first live appearances of 2017 in upstate New York & in Connecticut — the latter being a major event I am not yet at liberty to share details about. Stay tuned to this page &

…In the meanwhile: hope can rope yer hearts to join Jonathan Demme & myself @ the Jacob Burns Film Center in Pleasantville, NY next Saturday for his western movies screening series / live event “Saddle Up Saturdays.” I will serve as the guest artist / interlocutor for the presentation of Dixie lore & Lakota-themed Run Of The Arrow starring Rod Steiger, Brian Keith & Charles Bronson — followed by a discussion + Q&A. The screening will be preceded by Jonathan’s Standing Rock documentary: Protection Not Protest: The People of Standing Rock

Neither I nor my fellow bandmates in Cactus Rose, Jeff & Kimberly/KAR, have forgotten about Standing Rock or Split Rock, despite the switch in focus to Aleppo or the trend hoppers moving on to the next new thing; and we remain committed to helping stop all the black snakes threatening Turtle Island. So this event will be a good opportunity to come and hear about the Split Rock actions & other causes of Indian Country as well as how it was for me to grow up Indian loving the western genre & cowboy music in the Vietnam Era when antiheroes dominated horse operas while there was a revival of Native American consciousness in the real world beyond celluloid. A’ho*

Tix & more information available here: RUN OF THE ARROW w/ KANDIA CRAZY HORSE 1/14 @ noon JACOB BURNS FILM CENTER

America: We Got To Work for Peace

“We got to work for Peace / Peace ain’t gonna be free / Gotta go to war…” so often sang my late hero & artist-activist influence Gil Scott-Heron (but he was not a warhawk, he was singing of peace-waging), when I used to see him annually in NYC at venues such as S.O.B.’s downtown. And, while I listened to his tunes “B-Movie” (about Ray-Gun America in the 1980s), “Winter In America” (a reminder for #NativeAmericanHeritageMonth & due to escalated actions around the Dakota Access Pipeline resistance & halting other black snakes of Turtle Island) & “Gun” (for obvious reasons in trigger-happy America & upon Veterans Day), this week & then just spoke with my Pamunkey great aunt Ethel from Virginia, who is an activist/southern belle/church lady in the truest sense & at 91 would have been embedded all year @ Standing Rock were it not for ailments, I was reminded indelibly that we cannot despair at this hour of chaos after the presidential election. We must be strong, we must be prayerful if we follow Native tradition & other faiths, and we must seek to be united as possible in order to work for Peace in the coming days of a New Nation that does not honor nor respect the rights of all of its citizens.

img_3456 ( Caitlin Rose & Kandia Crazy Horse @ Mercury Lounge NYC (w/ photobomb by Roddy of Daniel Romano’s band – Follow @cactusroselovesyou on Instagram )

2016: A year of sonic loss, domestic terrorism against #NoDAPL water protectors & days of rage in newly-minted Trump America…I will not retire from my activism & I am feeling a renewed dedication to songwriting, illuminating the folkways of the postmodern New South, and collaborating with other (Native) artists that also follow the Way of the New World to work towards indigenous futures. So, instead of wallowing — although I was/am mighty weary — I went out into the fractious City, finding fellowship & even some laughs with other indigenous activists from near and far as well as musicians from Argentina (Nico), Canada (Daniel Romano & band), & my sistah-in-twang Caitlin Rose (Nashville via Texas). While we raised a toast of Tecate backstage @ Mercury Lounge in the East Village/Lower East Side to Canadian singer-songwriter icon #LeonardCohen & #MightyBaby’s Martin Stone who just passed & then I rotated sounds of my treasured record collection overnight in their memory + for Veterans Day (my step-great-grandfather Mr. Bridges of SW Georgia fought bravely in World War I & always remember him upon this day) — Elyse Weinberg, Stevie Nicks (who I mightily wish I could catch on her current tour!) & Fleetwood Mac, Jon Lucien, Rufus Wainwright — it was deeply impressed upon me that we must be thankful that #WeAreStillHere able to sing, play, laugh, dance & write songs, despite possible dark days ahead on Turtle Island and all of the many sad losses that have befallen the music world in 2016. As discussed with #CaitlinRose, I look forward to playing in Nashville, doing some festivals & sharing new songs in 2017, with my trusty band Cactus Rose holding me down. Some don’t like (colored) women who are brave & fly the freak flag high; there are concurrent wars against us of the #NoDAPL resistance and the collective body of black women in this society; and there are some entities that have tried/want to silence my Voice – but still I shine on. And I am going to stay #BlackHillbilly ’til I die. Here’s to #TGIF — as my great aunt would say — and looking forward to enjoying the remainder of #NativeAmericanHeritageMonth

A’ho #countrygirlsdoitbetter

img_3397 ( Nico Bereciartua of Magpie Salute (from Argentina) & Kandia Crazy Horse of Cactus Rose band (in hat Karen Dalton) @ Henry Diltz’ Morrison Hotel Gallery in SoHo for “Midnight Rider” photography exhibit on Gregg Allman of the Allman Brothers Band by Patricia O’Driscoll, NYC )

( Why I want to see Stevie Nicks (who I have never seen) live…She composed this song “Silver Springs” while on the Road in my homeplace of the #DMV. I used to spend special times with my late mother in Silver Spring in the brief period before she walked on & grew up going there often in my “Maryland is for crabs…Virginia is for lovers” shirt in the 1970s. Precious memories…& songwriting inspiration! )

( How I came to truly know/love Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” – via my beloved & the best male Songbird of my generation #JeffBuckley (RIP) #ScorpioRising #ScorpioSeason – In Memoriam for all the Singers & Players & Freedom Fighters )

( & Leonard Cohen & Jeff Buckley’s acolyte who’s one of my most beloved contemporary artists: #RufusWainwright – This 11/11 tune comes from his double-LP masterpiece Want One / Want Two that was life-changing for me in the early Aughts. I still treasure getting to meet Rufus once backstage at a taping of the Jimmy Fallon Show in Manhattan, courtesy of my brotha Kirk Douglas of The Roots )

Make America Native Again & #ImWithHer – Presidential Election 2016

I am an independent, stubborn southern belle & outlaw queen — Always been, always will be. Still, I believe #TheFutureIsFemale & I am also, of course, here for #IndigenousFutures – so I voted today in remembrance of my heroines: my Pamunkey mother Anne Marie from the Shenandoah Valley & Miz Fannie Lou Hamer, The Black Panther of Lowndes County. Sho’nuff, neither party gave us much of a decent choice & Kaine has only paid lip service to #NoDAPL on the eve of the election, smacking of desperation. Yet I have got to take the long view for the Turtle Island Liberation Movement I am a part of & with deep south kin still alive who were persecuted and firebombed by the Ku Klux Klan for daring to vote & mobilize their African-descent community to do so, I will never take my right to vote for granted. And a #NastyGal does step into the breach & flex her power, too – Love, that’s America! A’ho*

#KandiaCrazyHorse #NativeAmericana #singersongwriter #CosmicAmericanMusic #NativeAmerican #artist #activist #indigenousrevolutionary #AfroHippie #IStandWithStandingRock #NativeAmericanHeritageMonth #LoveWillWin #Merica

Sidenote: as a Black Bullette/Taurus Woman & Wonderlove(r), this was great to read today: KANDIA CRAZY HORSE loves STEVIE WONDER (a key influence)

img_1653 ( Kandia Crazy Horse #IdleNoMore in the voter queue today in Hamilton Heights / Harlem-on-the-Range, Uptown NYC – @cactusroselovesyou Instagram )

( Coming out of my polling place, a school named for Adam Clayton Powell Jr. – IG: @cactusroselovesyou )

img_1652 ( Some local Latina sisters were gifting us #StarsAndStripes Hershey kisses while we waited to vote #VoteNYC – IG: @cactusroselovesyou )

Throwback Thursday: Of race, Country music & the 2016 CMAs

Well, since my sentiments about the state of Nashville’s country music establishment on and beyond Music Row tend to be unwelcome even amongst my former circle of rock critic colleagues, I wasn’t going to weigh in on this year’s CMA Awards, the 50th edition, which I did happen to watch. However, in my absence offline, an apparent controversy has been brewing on the subject of race and country music, due to the much ballyhooed performance of “Daddy Lessons” by Texan artists Beyonce (pop, urban) & the Dixie Chicks (once modern country royalty). Although I don’t wish to gas up TMZ, the site is one of the prominent places that has cited the CMA site & social media having scrubbed their entire online platform of images/references to said Beyonce-Dixie Chicks summit in response to copious racist reactions to the awards show appearance on Twitter & elsewhere: VIEW HERE

Now, I am no Beyonce fan nor “stan;” and I have no fear of the BeyHive in stating this — my backpages as a longtime music critic & editor for over 20 years clearly delineates where I stand on her & chronicles many of my thoughts on the history and contemporary scene of black artists who create in the overlapping country & western, bluegrass, hillbilly, Cajun, prewar stringband, mountain music, Americana, and roots genres. I also happen to have served on a panel @ CUNY Graduate Center in NYC earlier this year, holding forth on Black Banjo, my role in the country & western genre as an artist and touring fan, the Affrilachia movement, and the recent publication of scholar/banjoist Laurent Dubois’ book THE BANJO – America’s African Instrument. Talked about the fictional Darlings of The Andy Griffith Show a.k.a. The Dillards, and how Doug Dillard became my favorite banjo player and influence via Dillard & Clark. And I am a veteran of my friend Greg Mays’ annual Harlem Hoedown, where I always square dance as I learned as a babychile in rural Virginia to the sounds of my dear friends the Ebony Hillbillies. I was a “primordial” adopter, supporter, and then critic of the Americana scene in general, way back into the 1980s, and have watched successive waves of cowpunk, neo-southern rock, alt-country, y’allternative, insurgent country, progressive country, Ameripolitan, indie folk, etc etc come to consciousness and come to market; and always pondered about the African presence in all of these scenes and on the record business side up to this day where  Americana is now on the Billboard chart — the year’s big news in music. The pop/urban mix with country as a featured event of the CMA Awards has obvious precedent; many of my former colleagues are still talking about Justin Timberlake (who’s in the process of going Country & recording a country album) performing with Chris Stapleton last year. Yet this year’s turn, especially at the 50 marker, is notable less due to Beyonce but rather down to the fact that at a time when Bro-Country is waning, Taylor Swift has defected for pop, and nigh every classic arena rocker has cut a country record/moved to Nashville to revive flagging careers, country (&western) still has a glaring race problem and its related business wing cannot develop or sustain virtually any artists of color not named Darius Rucker. Opening the show with a too-brief turn by black country icon Charley Pride underscored this issue; the fact that the CMAs chose to have Stapleton and Dwight Yoakam — great & skilled though they are — pay homage to Georgia R&B hero & country maverick Ray Charles, to illustrate the S-O-U-L of country music instead of even summoning their own recent hitmaker Mickey Guyton or Americana star Rhiannon Giddens who was present at the awards (backing up Eric Church) showed exactly where they stand. The citing of SOUL, as it always has been, is code for the blackness in twang; the modern country (&western) scene and business has never quite progressed beyond the early 20th century moment of Race Records and segregating sounds by racial and regional provenance. And all hell broke loose on social media yesterday and today, as country music fans of the dominant culture rushed to show their displeasure with the inclusion of a black (pop) artist on the CMAs, accusing her of trying to take away country music from whites who supposedly have eternal ownership of the genre — despite the patent & well-documented African and Native American origins of country besides the Scotch-Irish contribution. I myself am a Native Americana / cosmic country & western artist in no small part because I am of Native American, African, and Scottish descent, a rich hybrid made in America’s Southeast from which the Source of the music eternally springs. I am also just a fanatic of bluegrass, mountain music, and cowboy tunes — and I claim as much ownership of that Creation as anybody. Keen observers have known for a spell that one of the most vibrant bluegrass scenes in the world is in Japan, and that events and festivals like the Black Banjo Gathering in Boone, North Carolina, have been yielding a younger, new wave of twang talent of African descent.

14925357_541294672731117_8531302700367219900_n (My shot of superstar country artist #BradPaisley & #CharleyPride opening #CMAAwards50 – credit: @kandiacrazyhorse Instagram)

Here’s what I posted in response to the show on Wednesday night, while live-blogging portions of it on Facebook & Instagram: “I am watching #CMAAwards50 & pondering deeply about the African & Native American roots of the genre; plus how far Nashville & Music Row still have to go in honoring these legacies. Wonderful to see my hero #CharleyPride open the show with my fellow Virginian #BradPaisley (Yep, I’m a fan, despite the unwieldy “Accidental Racist;” I blame LL Cool J); but still tinged with some sadness and confusion. Someday, #NativeAmericana & #BlackHillbilly will take their proper place. For now, enjoying seeing all the 1960s & ’70s country women I grew up on that made me aspire to sing in twang, besides my Native American triumvirate (Buffy Sainte-Marie, Karen Dalton, Rita Coolidge): Loretta Lynn, Tanya Tucker, Barbara Mandrell (!!)…& Reba…Waiting for Dolly [Parton], of course…! #KandiaCrazyHorse #NativeAmericana #mountainmusic #AppalachiaSounds from #Virginia #countrysinger #southernbelle #countrygirlsdoitbetter #AffrilachianNation”

Quibbling about how pop or authentically country any given act is — that’s something I leave to the working music critics. Certainly, the Dixie Chicks’ reappearance on the CMAs was controversial due to their past & interesting to have that baggage reexamined so close to the presidential election. Some staunch country loyalists were always going to react negatively to that. Yet the main issue — just as a decade-plus battle for Country Music’s soul reaches its zenith (see the site Saving Country Music for consistent dispatches on this topic) — is that country (&western…& Americana) is the last frontier for artists of African descent — whether that be Virginia-bred me, Kandia Crazy Horse & my new band Cactus Rose, or Kenya’s leading country singer, Sir Elvis Otieno — and the country establishment and much of the genre’s audience still views it as their own private safe haven away from the predations of urban music/culture/style and technology-tied modernity. It is interesting that Bro-Country, which would often feature the likes of Florida-Georgia Line duetting with Nelly and Blake Shelton attempting to rap, is fading just as there is a rise and music industry push behind a range of country and Americana acts that claim rock and other musics as influences or stylistically and attitude-wise invoke 1970s Outlaw Country: Kacey Musgraves, Sturgill Simpson, Margo Price, Sam Outlaw, etc…and are hailed for restoring “true” country sonics and values […with nods to their precursors Shooter Jennings and Hank III (both of whom I often loved & covered as a critic in the past)]. Yet there’s still apparently little to no room under the twang tent for we country artists of color, cosmic or otherwise.

Hey, I love Tompall Glaser and Clarence White & Willie Nelson as much as any other ’70s babe of my generation; and as a singer-songwriter, I am clearly influenced by my most beloved Gene Clark and the Buffalo Springfield — hear my paeans “Quartz Hill” & “Americana” “Tula” (en espanol) & “Scene & Herd” etc — and the less-celebrated Ladies of the Canyon like Judee Sill, Claudia Lennear, and Essra Mohawk. Neil Young, I see you (& thanks for singing for Standing Rock). I spent the early 1970s toddling behind my dear lil’ Pamunkey mother from the Shenandoah Valley at the bluegrass tents of Folklife Festival, snuck viewings of my favorite show Hee-Haw (’twas grand to see Roy Clark pickin’ an’ grinnin’ on the CMA, yep?), dreaming of growing up to play the Grand Ole Opry (at the Mother Church Ryman, of course) just like Darius Rucker; he ain’t the only one! Sweetheart Of the Rodeo by The Byrds & The Notorious Byrd Brothers were always & still are major for me. I am talented, and I am well-versed in the breadth and depth of country; I am extremely proud of my southern roots. All we want, after so many moons of flying the freak-flag high for Black Hillbilly & Native Americana, is to have a permanent non-conditional seat at the (farm) table, per Mrs. Knowles-Carter’s great sister Solange.

As I go prepare to march for Standing Rock again this weekend through all of Manhattan, please note that the date for the Jalopy Theater water protectors benefit in Brooklyn has been changed to 25 November. Follow the new Cactus Rose band Instagram account at @cactusroselovesyou  for more details as they are announced. I continue my personal commitment to ongoing activism on behalf of the Standing Rock water protectors, and the band & I are very much looking forward to playing with our friends from the Brooklyn Country scene! I expect this to be one of my treasured highlights of #NativeAmericanHeritageMonth 2016

ThrowbackThursday: “Cabin In The Pines” live from the Sacred Water Medicine Show in NYC

As filmed by Camara Dia Holloway, some footage from my Standing Rock water protectors benefit concert, the Sacred Water Medicine Show, is now viewable on this site; click the tab for MUSIC.

This song, “Cabin In The Pines,” which is based on a once-real jookhouse in Southwest Georgia but is my sonic & lyrical paean to Appalachia / Affrilachia, remains one of my most favorite songs I have written to date. If you have not gotten the Native Americana / Country / Americana album that features it yet, Stampede, it is still at my CD Baby store:     STAMPEDE available here!

Playing herein @ Decolonize This Place / Artists Space in TriBeCa with my new band, Cactus Rose (minus Brother Evan on drums!) #mniwiconi #NoDAPL #ProtectTheSacred

Sacred Water Medicine Show: My Standing Rock water protectors benefit concert in NYC #mniwiconi #NoDAPL

Good Friday, y’all! I am now getting feedback & documentation from the Standing Rock water protector camps benefit I conceived, curated & performed at last Saturday in Manhattan @ Decolonize This Place (Artists Space) in TriBeCa. Such was the response, I have been asked to undertake some more & when things develop, I will be sharing the word here & on my Instagram. Regardless, my personal commitment to praying for & helping support the Oceti Sakowin & other united nations assembled @ Standing Rock Reservation in North Dakota remains unabated; the setbacks to the trips I was slated on since August were unavoidable, yet I still plan to be of service there. And we of the Eastern nations are paying attention to the similar projects here in our own “backyard,” such as the Algonquin Pipeline, & doing actions locally.

My #IndigenousWeek in NYC concludes tomorrow with the re-opening of the Caribbean Cultural Center (CCCADI) in Harlem on 125th Street. More to come! A’ho*

“Water Is Life – Solidarity Concert” on Saturday, October 8th, 2016 (All photographs by Camara Dia Holloway)

14590381_10210341608754587_4728288835212698825_n-2 (Kandia Crazy Horse giving the Introduction to the benefit concert @ Decolonize This Place in TriBeCa, by Camara Dia Holloway)
14691258_531632583697326_3077662141286453516_o (Kandia Crazy Horse & Morgan O’Kane, singers/songwriters/purveyors of twang & Appalachian-rooted mountain music, from Virginia)
14753196_531637043696880_5792530365201464589_o (With my lead guitar player/singer Jeff McLaughlin – Cactus Rose by Theodore Kuhnapfel)
14729315_10210341609234599_3472715491501719080_n (Alex Battles)
14681610_10210341609314601_8736319201832742049_n (Lonnie Harrington)
14590405_10210341610274625_4485607832802687523_n (Morgan O’Kane)
14713560_531645400362711_8164107098134039851_n (Ebony Hillbillies)
14681833_10210341610834639_3725016544496197947_n (Bejike Luis Sanakori Ramos doing water ceremony & closing dance)
14724638_10210341608674585_1973248216076382922_n (My Tsalagi aunty Eagle Woman (our hostess & emcee) & the gang getting the shoutout on the welcome wall @ Decolonize This Place)
14595565_529544267239491_2293595528462129051_n (Rehearsing for the Standing Rock benefit earlier last week in Midtown, with Alex & Lonnie)

More Indigenous Day of Remembrance 2016 in NYC

idor2016-7 (Kandia Crazy Horse dancing women’s traditional @ Indigenous Day of Remembrance NYC in Central Park, by Kerrie Sansky)

This photo collection & blog by Kerrie Sansky just in, from the Indigenous Day of Remembrance in Manhattan this past Sunday. Features several photos of me & my friends from the Movement:

Blue Eyes Smiling blog on IDOR 2016

My Sacred Water Medicine Show – A benefit for Standing Rock in NYC on 10/8 #mniwiconi #NoDAPL

Please join us this Saturday night in Manhattan’s TriBeCa neighborhood downtown as I and my fellow indigenous artists & friends from the Brooklyn Country scene sing in support of the Dakota Access Pipeline resistance and in solidarity with the Oceti Sakowin of Standing Rock Reservation and all allied nations of the water protector camps that are defending the Missouri River and Lakota sacred sites out in North Dakota. All of the artists involved & I are committed to standing with Standing Rock until the end. We will also be featuring speakers on the topics of #NoDAPL, the Algonquin pipeline project, the Anti-Mountaintop Removal movement (particularly important to Morgan O’Kane & I, hailing from Virginia), & other environmental issues affecting Indian Country — some of whom have just returned from the frontline at Standing Rock.

We look forward to seeing you out – be ready to bust some of yer square-dancing moves!

WATER IS LIFE – SOLIDARITY CONCERT @ Decolonize This Place, 55 Walker Street btwn Church & Broadway, NYC |  6pm doors, 7pm show | $10 suggested donation

Sacred Water Medicine Show in NYC on 10/8 @ 7pm #NoDAPL

Dear Family, Friends, Followers & Folks – Come on out to the Standing Rock benefit concert that I conceived, curated & will perform at on Saturday, October 8th, in Manhattan @ Decolonize This Place, 55 Walker Street, 7pm (doors 6pm), $10 suggested donation. We will be having an evening of indigenous musicians and visual artists coming together with our allied friends from the Brooklyn Country scene to sing, dance, speak about the pipeline resistance & generally raise a joyful noise standing in solidarity with the Standing Rock Oceti Sakowin, united Native nations from across America, and their allies as they winterize to combat the Bakken project afflicting sacred burial sites, the Standing Rock reservation, and lands and water all along the Missouri River.

The featured performers:

Kandia Crazy Horse (Pamunkey)

Ebony Hillbillies (Catawba)

Morgan O’Kane

Alex Battles

Lonnie Harrington (Seminole)

Luis Sanakori Ramos+Band of Tainos (Taino)

& Special Guests including Jana Brownbear, Anastasia McAllister, Bianca Dagga & More

Emcee/speaker: Tina Eagle Woman Johnson of Cherokee Language & Cultural Circle NYC

Facebook evite: Water Is Life – Solidarity Concert

p1030486 Kandia Crazy Horse (credit: Camara Dia Holloway)

13568787_492125720981346_5104601475048609822_oTina Eagle Woman Johnson (credit: Kandia Crazy Horse)

img_0436 Henrique Prince of Ebony Hillbillies (@the recent Harlem Hoedown) (credit: Kandia Crazy Horse)

Flashback Friday: In High Harlem

With podcast host Boice-Terrel at the Chipped Cup, after taping earlier this week

With podcast host Boice-Terrel at the Chipped Cup, after taping earlier this week

Flashback Friday: last night @ NMAI

Enjoying my futurehome tipi & Pisces supermoon feels @ National Museum of the American Indian last night, during the “Native Sounds Downtown” live series featuring the Ollivanders from Canada Six Nations & the mighty amazing sistren of Dark Water Rising of Carolina’s Lumbee…looking forward to collaborating with more fellow Native Americana acts in glorious (Afro)future!

The next Hudson Canyon Sing: Sunday, September 6th in Brooklyn, NY

Join us for a fine African-Native American frolic upSouth in Prospect Heights next Sunday afternoon @ 4:30pm, between the 69th Annual Shinnecock Nation Powwow on Long Island & the Federation of Black Cowboys’ cookout in The Hole. Featuring AfroKelt & Native artists: Tess Reese (Choctaw), Johnny Jackpot, Kandia Crazy Horse (Pamunkey)

From the Spirit of ’76 Road Trip to Washington DC

Ikons & Images from my recent live medicine show on the “Capital Americana Series” @ Gypsy Sally’s club in Georgetown, Washington DC:

photo 1photo 3photo 5photo 2photo 3photo 4photo 2photo 3photo 1

Civil Rights Movement legends & fellow travelers in power @ my show: Joyce Ladner, Philippa Thompson Jackson, Ed Darden, Juadine Henderson, Jacqueline Trescott, Courtland Cox, Judy Richardson

Civil Rights Movement legends & fellow travelers in power @ my show: Joyce Ladner, Philippa Thompson Jackson, Ed Darden, Juadine Henderson, Jacqueline Trescott, Courtland Cox, Judy Richardson

photo 3photo 2

A portrait from Chocolate City

Godfather of Go-Go Chuck Brown (RIP) & I upon Ben Ali Way, outside the original Ben's Chili Bowl @ U Street, Washington DC

Godfather of Go-Go Chuck Brown (RIP) & I upon Ben Ali Way, outside the original Ben’s Chili Bowl @ U Street, Washington DC

Hudson Canyon Sing

My debut Medicine Show ft. the Spirit of ’76, Tess Reese of Treasury & Evan Taylor – photograph by Tavia Nyong’O

Yesterday, Sunday 9 August @ Branded Saloon, Brooklyn

Yesterday, Sunday 9 August @ Branded Saloon, Brooklyn

Live in Washington DC on 8/13

Come check me out & hear some Chocolate City / #DMV -born country & western sounds!

All the way live…on the Capital Americana Series @ Gypsy Sally’s Georgetown

DC Flyer

Dancing in the Streets in the New York Post

Saturday’s New York Post article on musical public events at NYC’s museums features a photograph of me dancing on the patio at the Museum of the City of New York:       Here I am @ Uptown Bounce — which also included bugalu @ Museo del Barrio — getting down to grown-N-sexy jams courtesy of Grandmaster Caz on the 1s & 2s. I also saw the Folk City exhibit & one of my Gilded Age favorites’ Florine Stettheimer’s dollhouse inside. Y’all never know where in Kandia Crazy Horse Country you might find me!

NEW YORK - JULY 29: For Pulse, Bounce at the Museum of the City of New York. People enjoy the sounds of DJ Caz.(photo by Tamara Beckwith/NY POST)

NEW YORK – JULY 29: For Pulse, Bounce at the Museum of the City of New York. People enjoy the sounds of DJ Caz.(photo by Tamara Beckwith/NY POST)

Kandia Crazy Horse debut @ Brooklyn’s Branded Saloon for Independence Day – July 3rd

When I hit the town again, it will be to play my first show at the Branded Saloon in Brooklyn’s Prospect Heights ‘hood. For all y’all of the NY / NJ / CT area that are having a “staycation” instead of roadrunning for this 4th of July holiday, come celebrate with your family and friends in Kandia Crazy Horse Country!!!

We shall be singing Songs of Freedom, sho’nuff, this Friday night in NYC >>>—–> #KandiaCrazyHorse #Stampede #BrandedSaloon

Covered by Dead Flowers blog

Here’s a nice new write-up about my music & vision from the artist-centric Dead Flowers blog – also previewing our Honky-Tonk Relapse appearance this Thursday night in Brooklyn: READ HERE

When you hear the words “classic country music”, a few famous faces come to mind—all of them, most likely, white and male. But Kandia Crazy Horse is out to change all that. The NYC-based singer and songwriter is “on a crusade to become the first black woman to be invited to join the Grand Ole Opry.”And the way she sings — with a style that’s part deep-South traditional country, part soul, and more than a little influenced by the crossover twang-rock of ’70s California — she just might pull it off

Yes! I hope to see y’all out @ Hank’s Saloon!

Live @ Bestbar NYC – Friday, June 5

Hope to see y’all out next Friday! #ScootYerBoots #SaddleUp

Throwback Thursday: Georgia sisters in performance

Well, y’all I’ve just taught myself 4 songs on the new banjolin, and now trying to get prepared for the upcoming long live season. For now, enjoying this video from a cold night down at NYC’s South Street Seaport art & music space Sugarcube: I’m playing with my sisterfriend Amanda Jo Williams from Hogansville, Georgia. We’re surely hoping to do some cool projects this year. Enjoy

Kandia Crazy Horse & Amanda Jo Williams

Kandia Crazy Horse & Amanda Jo Williams

Summer Jams

My lil’ Cosmic Country act is enjoying a well-deserved Summer Break > Stay tuned for new sounds & all the way live adventures after Indian Summer! xoxo

Easy Ryder the Band's Sound+Vision

Easy Ryder the Band’s Sound+Vision


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Anti-AFSPA call sounded on Hijam Irabot’s death anniversary

Imphal, September 26 2017: The 66th death anniversary of Hijam Irabot was observed today at the Irabot Statue Complex, Irabot Road, Pishumthong Oinam Leikai under the aegis of Hijam Irabot Celebration Committee .

The function was attended by CAF & PD and Revenue Minister, Karam Shyam as the chief guest and former member of Manipur Human Rights Commission and adviser of Hijam Irabot Charitable Trust, Ng Nongyai was the president.

Chairman of the Hijam Irabot Celebration Committee and former Chief Town Planner, Manipur, H Dilipkumar was also present on the occasion .

Floral tributes were paid to the photograph of the visionary leader, led by the chief guest .

Addressing the function, he said that people are still paying respect to the visionary leader for what he had done for his motherland .

He urged all concerned to follow the path of peace and cooperation as shown by Hijam Irabot.

Not only the common people, but the leaders should also try to follow his path of self sacrifice .

It is very unfortunate that different problems persist in the society and people of North East are victimised in mainland India .

The day was also organized jointly at THAU Ground, Thangmeiband, Imphal today by Manipur Proletariat Peoples Democratic Union (MPPDU), Socialist Students Union of Manipur (SSUM) and Struggle Committee, Manipur (SCM) .

Speaking as the presidium member, president of Revolutionary Democratic Front and Revolutionary Writer Talengana comrade Vara Vara Rao shared his solidarity to the people of Manipur and North East who are struggling under AFSPA .

Rao criticized the brutalities meted out to the people of North East and some other parts of India by saying that innocent people are being killed in Manipur and some other States like Telangana by security forces in fake encounters .

Citing Irabot’s contribution to the Manipuri society and to the liberation movement built up by him, Rao observed that the people of North East, particularly Manipur need a great inspiration like Irabot to liberate themselves from suppression .

Showing solidarity to all the suppressed and oppressed people, he also urged the working class, youth, women, minority people and peasantries to collectively build a strong people’s movement .

All Manipur United Clubs’ Organization (AMUCO)’s ex-president KT Rahaman, while speaking at the function opined that the present Manipur needs persons like Hijam Irabot who fought selflessly for the motherland .

He recounted that Irabot resigned from a royal post at the King’s court and stood for the poor and initiated a liberation movement from oppressive conducts of British India .

Reminding that Irabot too stood against the attempt of forming Purvanchal even after the withdrawal of the British Raj, Rahaman said that people should understand that the present Manipur calls for people like Irabot who could stop formation of Southern Nagaland, Pan Naga Movement and other such efforts that could break down Manipur as a whole .

Moirangthem Angamba said that people in Manipuri society should learn many lessons in observing Irabot’s death anniversary.

He urged the people to acquire the sense of nationalism and patriotism through patriots like Irabot .

Comrade Hukum Bahadur Singh, National Revolutionary Intellectuals Forum, Nepal and Nameirakpam Meghachandra Meitei were also present as the presidium members .

During the function, a State Level march past competition was also held.

Royal Education Centre (girls team) bagged the 1st position in the junior category while 65 Girls NCC team was adjudged the winner in the senior category.

Source: The Sangai Express

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Friday, November 14, 2014

Musings: Face of a Demagogue

dem·a·gogue noun \ˈde-mə-ˌgäg\
: a political leader who tries to get support by making false claims and promises and using arguments based on emotion rather than reason.

I've been both fascinated and repelled by the glorified demagoguery of the anti-GMO movement in Hawaii.

It is not to be confused with demigod — the status to which anti-GMO activist Dustin Barca elevated himself with a crude cartoon depicting him as the “Hawaiian Superman,” a reference to the demigod Maui.

No, demagoguery is something different — more deliberate, more dangerous, more destructive to democracy, more insidious.

As a friend characterized it:

I'm good because you're bad. We are virtuous because you are evil. Oh, and a truck will come by in the morning to escort you to your re-education camp.

The rhetoric espoused by Kauai County Councilman Gary Hooser has offered countless classic examples of demagoguery. But nothing seemed to portray the dynamic quite so vividly as this Facebook post by Ashley Lukens, the director of the mainland-based Center for Food Safety, which set up shop in Hawaii last year specifically to direct and exploit anti-GMO sentiment:
Here's how it works. First, they create an enemy, preferably an easy target, like multinational chemical companies.

They then vilify the enemy through accusations — poisoning water, people, land — that are repeated over and over and over again. None of the accusations have been proven in Hawaii; indeed, every assessment — even their own— has shown the accusations to be false. Not one blood test has been produced that shows elevated pesticide levels in a person living near or working in seed fields; state water tests have shown environmental pesticide levels well below threshold levels; there are no cancer clusters, no unusual rates of birth defects. Yet still, the claims are repeated.

Next, they deploy despicable tactics, which they then attribute to the enemy, as evidenced by  Ashley's post.

Ashley and her followers fear for their personal safety because they are the ones who have promoted violence, from the “fistee” call to arms and the “pass the bill” mob scene in the Kauai County Council chambers to the calls to destroy fields and do “whatever it takes” to eliminate biotech.

Ashley is worried about bullying because she leads a movement that has mercilessly bullied not only those financially associated with the identified enemy, but average citizens who dared to question the movement's facts, goals and tactics. Though she never once spoke up against that bullying, she is now seeking sympathy as a supposed victim of “corporate” bullying.

Ashley is worried about putting her child's Facebook photos on “lock down” because her movement defaced, defiled and disseminated Facebook photographs of local biotech employees and their children.

Ashley is worried about threats from “crazy bloggers” because the “crazy bloggers” in her own movement repeatedly threatened biotech workers and supporters with death, financial ruin and other harm.

Ashley is worried about “participatory democracy” because her own movement used outside funding and tax-free, nonprofit status to engage in political advocacy and lobbying to influence local politics. Meanwhile, movement supporters like Jonathan Jay use public radio to bleat about our cruel “winner takes all” style of elections, i.e., democracy.

Ashley intones on “the importance of dissent in the context of a liberal state” even as she leads a movement that ruthlessly represses all dissent.

Ashley, who lead a movement that attempted to make others cower in their home for speaking truth to the movement, is now vowing she won't cower for “speaking truth to power,” even as she claims her movement actually holds the power.

In this Facebook post, Ashley, is looking in the mirror, where she sees a demagogue looking back. But rather than recognize it as her own reflection, she projects it onto the enemy and claims the rhetorical high road of “progress and liberation” for a movement that in practice is regressive and repressive.

A demagogue /ˈdɛməɡɒɡ/ (from French "demagogue", derived in turn from the Greek "demos" = people/folk and the verb "ago" = carry/manipulate thus "people's manipulator") or rabble-rouser is a political leader in a democracy who appeals to the emotions, fears, prejudices, and ignorance of the lower classes in order to gain power and promote political motives. Demagogues usually oppose deliberation and advocate immediate, violent action to address a national crisis; they accuse moderate and thoughtful opponents of weakness. Demagogues have appeared in democracies since ancient Athens. They exploit a fundamental weakness in democracy: because ultimate power is held by the people, nothing stops the people from giving that power to someone who appeals to the lowest common denominator of a large segment of the population.

Take note, all of you in our community who have aligned yourselves with this movement, who have allowed your faces and names to be used by this movement. Take note.

Anonymous said...

"Fools names and fools faces appear in public places."

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Joan.
The fervor over GMO/pesticides seems to fading. There are actually conversations being held in a civil manner. Previously, if some one said that trillions of GMO meals have been eaten with no problems, you could be vilified.
Gary has lost his power, due to his abysmal showing, his lying style and the loss of his BaBaLouie, Tim. Mason, his previous waterboy, seems to have graduated into an individual and not a Gary reflection. Keep it up can have a real future if you become your own man, you have a good way about you.
You brought up Bynum's "ricecooker". After all the foofoorah on GMOs/herbicides..the real impact on the island is the resulting "rules and regulations" that are in place BECAUSE of Tim's ricecooker.
Planning has re-defined what a kitchen is. The language in the regs is so ambiguous and confusing, they have brought in the ghosts of Jean Paul Sartre and Frederich Nietzsche to surmise the true meaning of the words and intent of Ricecooker lingerings. No one really knows how to put in the electric plugs or kitchen sinks in new or re-build construction, due to Timmy's RICECOOKER. This is a big deal.
So in the end end Tim's 1 million dollar ricecooker continues to cost people, architects, builders, homeowners, renters and the Planning Department money.
The Ricecooker that keeps on giving and taking.
Moral of the story? A simple little thing can evolve into a monster. A Golem.
F*ck the Fistees and the former Babes they rode in on.
Just let us live our lives. Guaranz ballbearanz.

Anonymous said...

Joan, there are several people who live in Kekaha who have had their urine/blood tested ---- pesticides were found! These are people who can afford the tests--they sent their samples to the mainland.

Joan Conrow said...

well then let's see them

Anonymous said...

It was the Kauai Prosecuting Attorney, County Council, Planning department, County attorney and county administration that implemented the Rice Cooker insanity. Tim was just one of many homeowners who chose to rent out portions of their homes and who had rice cookers for their tenants to use. Previous incarnations of the County of Kauai viewed another unit as being determined by the kitchen. In our wisdom we have determined that a violation of zoning can be determined by the presence of a rice cooker.

All of this in response to the rising price of ag land making land unaffordable for bona fide farmers. We limit the adu's on ag land. We limit the density of ag land all in response to land prices and McMansions. What is the result? Zuckerburg and Princeville Kaching! Mac Mac Mac Mac mansions.

What is really weird is that we do this because we are offended by carpetbaggers who come in to make money of of these lands so we try to limit the density of these ag lands only to have the Hermes baggers come in. So tilting at windmills.

Luke Kambic said...

I convinced Ashley to visit our lab when she was on campus one evening last spring. She talked the entire time. She admonished me to "stop accusing people of fear mongering", accused me of using fake names online (I don't), and reminded me that she "has a PhD" when I tried to nudge the conversation toward technical topics that she was unprepared to shoot down with anything but legalese and stubbornness. Near the end of our meeting, in a surreal display of the postmodern pseudo-relativism that characterizes that CFS's philosophy, she declared that she's "not doing this because she thinks she's right". So why are you doing it, Dr. Lukens? Idle whimsy?

I don't think she learned a thing about biotech that night. I realize that writing this comment might burn a small bridge. But I think I'm ready to burn this one. I don't know how to communicate or relate with a human being who is so fully committed to Andrew Kimbrell's dark-age crusade against enlightenment thinking and humanism. CFS's manipulations are as poisonous to healthy society as any pesticide, and their expressly anti-objective philosophy makes them immune to new information.

Last week the USDA approved the "innate" potato varieties, which have been engineered for two traits: to be less carcinogenic when fried, and to be less prone to the black bruising that makes millions of pounds of potatoes go to waste every year. The developers only used genes found in potato plants, and the new varieties have been through millions of dollars worth of cautious safety testing lasting most of a decade. Like clockwork, the CFS has already set their fear machine in motion and threatened legal action.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! Right in the money Joan! That definition of demagogue is exactly what happened here. "Oppose deliberation and advocate immediate" as in the pass the bill now Nomatter that it will never make it or help anyone and in fact it will make matters worse. "Accuse moderate and thoughtful opponents of weakness" as in anyone who dared to question or tried to calm everyone's fears with reason was accused of being corrupt and a shill. Wow! ugh! I'm still having to spell it out for people who just don't get it. And then I end up being the "bad guy". Lowest common denominator is right. And they're all so self centered and ignorant that they still think they are the majority.

Anonymous said...

So why are you doing it, Dr. Lukens?

Money and publicity?

Anonymous said...

..and who can argue with a PH.d in Poly Sci...?

Anonymous said...

Lukas. I commend you for trying to help her learn something. Lukens should have stuck with the local food movement, she could have actually done some good there. Instead she took CFS high paying gig as anti GMO girl and has only one goal, bring down biotechnology and devide agriculture. Sad. Wasted potential.

Anonymous said...

All of a sudden this interloping ringer from the Center for Food Safety is a victim? I rather doubt it although she may be short of real friends. Perhaps she shouldn't have come riding in from wherever to spread the party line of an organization that produces no food, assures no safety and scares the crap out of people who don't inspect the message too carefully. Here's her doctoral thesis "Theorizing Food Justice: Critical Positionality and the Political Economy of Community Food Systems" Chew on that one! What possible use is something like that to any one of the 900,000 plus farmers growing GE crops in this country for our consumption? In fact, I'm thinking the doctoral program accepting this might be a little fuzzy to begin with- even if it is political science. I do not know what these dingbat theorists and bunco artists plan to feed us, but certainly, whatever it is, they sure as hell can't grow it. I'll take the people who know what they are doing any day before frauds like her who make it their god given business to force their way on the good people who walk the walk and rip off their income in the process. She's a True Believer complete with the 1000 yard stare if I've ever seen and heard one. On the positive side, she hasn't yet awarded herself a Hawaiian name like Nomi Momona, the lobbyist. At least I don’t think so.

Anonymous said...

Ms Lukens post invites questions. What evidence is there that she or her daughter have been subjected to "threats from these crazy biotech bloggers?" If she has been threatened, has she filed a police report? Or is she just making this stuff up? Hell, I don't know. Perhaps Ashley could furnish some evidence.

Anonymous said...

@ 13:19,
They don't do evidence

Anonymous said...

What does the hastag "wearethem" mean/ Does it mean they are really the biotech companies and that is why they advocate to pass crappy laws that bring us preemption which totally works in favor of the seed companies?

Anonymous said...

Whatever is going on around us, today is an amazing morning. Can you reach out and touch Waialeale or Makaleha? Kauai best people and best place.
I think I'll do some random acts.

Anonymous said...

8:32--it will be revealed at the right time!

Anonymous said...

Ur right Joan! This is how liberals, progressives whatever they call themselves operate.

Anonymous said...

8:06 Pesticides in blood tests.
OMG...I say let's test everyone on the island.
Blood tests reveal, but they do not show from whence them thar bad stuffs got in your body.
Test the old folks who have lived their entire lives in Kekaha...90 years of Sugar and Corn, Paraquat, Chlordane, Lorsban, Dursban, poly-unsaturated fats, masubi, akule and Arare. Now that would be a test.
One test doth not maketh empirical fact.

Dawson said...

Anonymous at 8:06 said:
"Joan, there are several people who live in Kekaha who have had their urine/blood tested ---- pesticides were found! These are people who can afford the tests--they sent their samples to the mainland."

To which Joan Conrow at 8:32 replied:
"well then let's see them"

Upon which Anonymous at 6:03 proclaimed:
"8:32--it will be revealed at the right time!"

Seriously, 6:03, is that the best you can do? "It will be revealed at the proper time" (the claim to be in possession of incontrovertible proof) is one of the oldest and lamest ploys in the demagogue playbook! Don't you guys want to at least appear to have just a little bit of credibility?

I guess not. Given the barrel-bottom scrapings that Lukens, Barca and Hooser are spewing, much less the pathetic posts of 8:06 and 6:03, it's clear that Kauai's crop of demagogues are in danger of devolving from hopeful contenders to background noise.

Look. Good, professional demagogues thrive on skillfully slinging lies, but what you guys are dishing is just amateurish -- silly, transparent, and insulting to the intelligences of the people you're trying to manipulate.

"Urine and blood tests?" Sweet Jesus! C'mon, guys, grow a pair or get out.

Anonymous said...

Good Morning Ms Joan, another beautiful day.
Way back when, you predicted the Kauai's anti-GMO/Herbicide/Ag law would get cut down.....and affect the abilities of other Counties. Now Maui is stopped.
As the Kauai people rushed to their mob marches led by deceptive Hooser/Bynum and Yukimura....little did the milyun li'l fistees think "that the li'l island that could" would and DID - in fact, not only f*ck up Kauai, but now, Maui, as well......Midnight chants, lying politicians and Fistee demagogues are one thing, but the hard fist of LAW is another....Now Kauai moves forward, a couple of reasonable new Council faces, an admonished Hooser, a free and uplifted Mason and the top big dogs, Mel and Ross. JoAnn is in there somewhere talking away with bewilderment on her face. A nice lady. C'mon Mel and Ross, Kualii, Arryl, Gary and Mason there is work to be done....the County is more downward tick on your bond rating and deep kimchee city. Cut the budget, keep Council meetings on track and HOPE that Ms. Joan doesn't find any discrepancies in your ambitions, laws or BS....KE will start another firestorm. Thanks again, Ms Joan

Anonymous said...

Please!!! I can't wait until you post something else so that when I come here I don't see that sucking evil face staring at me.

Anonymous said...

County is broke and the admin justified raises? What percentage has the budget increased in Carvalho' 6 years at the helm?

And isn't this how laws get changed? How long did it take for marriage equality to pass?
How many challenges and lawsuits? In time the political will of the people will move our legislators to act as in marriage equality legislation. The reason counties acted was the failure of the state to adequately address concerns.

Joan Conrow said...

Sorry, 12:10, but I'm calling bullshit on that one.

The counties acted because they were goaded into it by an advocacy movement that made like it was much bigger and more powerful than it actually was. The first step would've been to hold the state's feet to the fire, with lawsuits, public pressure, etc. That wasn't done.

Second, there is no basis for claiming this movement represent "the will of the people." Nor is this "how laws get changed," because we are not dealing with existing law, but new law. If you are making law, you start with good law. If you see a law go down in one county, as happened on Kauai, you revise subsequent laws to reflect that. You don't just keep putting forth the same flawed premise.

Unless, of course, your goal is to keep the lawsuits alive, so as to milk the battle for all it's worth. This is the strategy of Center for Food Safety and Earthjustice.

Anonymous said...

Unless, of course, your goal is to keep the lawsuits alive, so as to milk the battle for all it's worth. This is the strategy of Center for Food Safety and Earthjustice, and so much more

Anonymous said...

The county is BROKE(N) so why aren't there Furloughs instead of raises?

When the county had a said 40-60 million surplus, the county colluded with the state and other islands to furloughed it's workers and froze pay increases.

So can someone tell me why the county of Kauai is not implementing the furlough and pay freeze when the county of Kauai is 10 million dollars in the RED and spent all of the 40-60 million dollars is surplus?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your, as always, insightful and informed writings. Without missing your critical point, would it be fair to say critiques of certain leaders risks overshadowing legitimate concerns about ordinary people's power to control what happens to them in the places where they live? Beyond the anti-gmo issue, the Kaua`i and Maui ordinances raise that question - which has been an ongoing issue in county CAFO ordinances v. state right-to-farm laws. Put otherwise, I'm curious about your opinion on the home rule aspect of the issue. Your "Local Control" post seemed more about identifying actors in these initiatives than about disparate impacts of statewide laws on neighbor islands (i.e., pesticides spraying law impact Kekaha communities differently than in Honolulu). Anyway, looking forward to future posts!

Anonymous said...

That's the Mayor Kauai returned to office. Fucked!

Anonymous said...

What do you mean fucked ???
Please use facts not Koolaid mixed punch by drop out loser barca....
They facts are he lost there is no ribbon or pats on the back for losing in politics that's for kids .. Stop bull shitting telling this clown he did a good job ... He was pounding poi on Election Day seriously ??? The mayor will be there 4 more years the people have spoke ... all facts

Anonymous said...

I'm referring to the budget asshole. Your Mayor has managed to spend away the surplus while furloughing county workers. He also raised every county fee there is and he ain't done yet. Now there's talk of raises for him and his cronies, immediately after election while the public gets continually squeezed.

And what's wrong with pounding poi? Better than sign waving if you ask me. Just because Dustin lost doesn't mean Bernard is managing the county well. He won the popularity contest amongst those who bothered to vote, that's all.

Anonymous said...

1,200 county of Kauai employees in 2012 and 1,500 Kauai county employees in 2014.

The county of Kauai probably leads the nation in job creation with 300 jobs created for salaries ranging from $30,000 to over $100,000.

All of this new hires and budget nearing $200,000,000 a year without better roads, landfill, drug rehab, affordable housing, and accountability.

The leadership on Kauai are phony cronies that spend like drunken sailor whores.

Anonymous said...

Agree 6:47 pm. A lot of warm and fuzzy talk but very little action that trickles down and affects everyday folks. "Together we can" replaced by "Action with Aloha".... campaign slogans don't cut through the BS.

Richard Manshardt said...

Thank you, Joan, for your objective and courageous analysis. Very impressive and gutsy posting.

Two more things in this situation amaze and disturb me:
1) the depth of cynicism resident in people who apparently view personal integrity and an active conscience as detrimental to effectiveness in the world.
2) how vulnerable to demagogic manipulation we are when our own experience/knowledge of the world weighs less in the balance than our fervor for "justice".


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rewarded faith

by Kayla Raymond

This past week was a blessed one. We had a team of ten guys from Iowa visiting with a goal to pave the very steep and rocky road that leads up to our school. The road was in such terrible shape; vehicles could barely make it up, let alone motorcycles (motorcycles being the most used mode of transportation in Haiti)

Day one consisted of the team digging trenches and carving out the path they would pave. Days two and three consisted of buckets full of gravel, sand and water being passed through our “assembly line” of workers. I, of course, had to get in on the action. I have never had so much fun working so hard. We yelled and joked as we passed the buckets down the hillside to the cement mixers. Bucket by bucket we got closer and closer to a finished paved road.

And by day five, we had a finished road. Students, teachers, parents and many more will now have a safe place to walk and vehicles and motorcycles will be able to pass with much less trouble.

As we stood on our finished masterpiece this morning, allowing the guys to take some final photos, I couldn’t help but remember the very first time I ventured up that hillside.

Webert had brought me there to show me where he thought the school should be built…at that time we had money to build a single building and the original place only had room for just that. A family member began giving problems, wanting money, once she had heard a school building was going to be built. So, in an effort to avoid drama and being ripped off, we searched for other options and were led to the mountaintop.

Within two weeks, we were sitting in the mayor’s office being handed the deed to our land. Miracles happened there! Land deeds like this can take years to get in Haiti. Two months later we started building our first school building, which held 172 students that year (2011-2012).

Looking back, I now recognize all these pivotal moments of simple faith. At the time it may have seen like the right thing to do, but had we not taken the steps and relied on the faith we had, I don’t think we would see The Lord working in all the amazing ways He has.

If we had just stuck with the plan to build the original building down in Simonette, we would have never have had room to educate the 900 students that we do today. God showed us a way to the mountaintop, worked miracles for us to have it and now has given us room to grow in all the ways He leads.

This is just one example, but I reflect on so many more moments of just down right faith leading me on this incredible journey. The moments have been far from heroic, not movie worthy nor award winning. They didn’t require beauty, fortune or fame. They were ordinary to most, but to Jesus, these acts meant the most.

I believe the moment we say “yes” to His will, He begins moving mountains. When we fall before Him and say “we are all in,” He takes our lives and turns them into something more beautiful than we ever imagined. We were made to take leaps of faith and live dangerously for him and when He sees those leaps of a faith in action, His rewards are much more greater. When we choose to lay down our lives and pick up the cross, who knows where He may lead you.

Another thing I love about taking leaps of faith and watching where God takes me is that being all He requires of me. He doesn’t ask us to be perfect, extraordinary or successful – in fact, I think He likes it when we are a little crazy and flawed!

The Bible is plump full of stories of people who were so very ordinary in their days, but their leaps of faith were what made them known.  They leaps of faith are what have made them legends and we are still learning from them today! I like Moses, he was brave enough to lead his people out slavery to a land of freedom. Best thing about the story: he didn’t really know where he was going, just day after day was following God. And for Moses, when the pressure was on and the army was closing in on him, all he had to do was stick a rod in the ground and before him an entire sea split, leading his people to safety.

Just an ordinary guy with a stick letting God lead the way. Uhh, I need to find a stick like that! But seriously, I find that to be the most incredible thing about God: just using fools like me, people who are brave enough to say “yes” and then using us to move mountains and do His Kingdom work! He could use the rich and famous, the kings, queens, presidents, movie stars and geniuses, but he chooses us!

I also think I love it so much because it allows me to still make mistakes, have a dirty house and be myself without having to feel not good enough, unqualified and unloved.

His words say, “I work for the good of those who love me,” and this verse came to me this week as a group of Iowans and Haitians worked together to pave a road. It was hard, hot and exhausting but I have never felt more rewarded to be a part of something. I love Kingdom work.

“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28


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The Affair

17 Oct

I would suppose that, in the minds of some, I’m not really all that nice of a person because I cheated on my wife and for the most stupid of reasons:  She cheated on me first.  Today, I wouldn’t even go there but back then, it seemed like a good thing to do before I found out that it wasn’t… but let me tell you what happened…

I began to suspect that something wasn’t right; every time I wanted sex from my wife, she had a boatload of excuses, from being tired to telling me she was too tender for sex due to her underwear chafing her.  None of her excuses made sense – well, not completely – but the excuses were coming at times where shit just didn’t add up, if you know what I mean.  Even back then, I knew that what you suspected was one thing and that what you could prove was very different… and I had a great deal of suspicion and zero proof.  This went on for a while and when we did have sex, her behavior was more than suspect; see, women think that they can have sex with someone else and their man would never find out and probably because most guys aren’t that observant and they don’t know what to look for but I figured it out, letting my observations build up until I had enough “probable cause” to confront her with my suspicions.

Oh, hell, yeah, she categorically denied that she was doing something wrong but I leaned on her, hammering her with my suspicions and observations until she folded like a wet paper towel and confessed that she had been fucking other men behind my back.  I was surprisingly calm; any other guy having his suspicions confirmed would, sadly, beaten his woman unmercifully.  Oh, I was pissed to no end but not to the point where I was going to start hitting on her; for one, my mother raised me better than that and, for the other, while this was a very bad situation, it wasn’t worth going to jail for.  I sat and listened to the details of her infidelity because I really wanted to know why she felt the need to do this and, of course, if I had anything to do with her decisions in this.  Oh, shit, yeah, it was hard to listen to but I knew I had to hear all of it… and I did… and I was already plotting my revenge.

I eventually learned a lesson that a lot of people learn:  The way to deal with this situation isn’t going out and committing a revenge fuck; not only does that actually compound the issue but the only situation where two wrongs make a right is in mathematics.  Even though something in the back of my mind was pointing this out to me, fuck no – I’d been cheated on and, worse, it wasn’t even because of anything I did or didn’t do so, uh-huh, was I ever gonna teach her a lesson and give her an idea of how ugly a feeling it is!  Before she even finished talking about what she had done to me – and to us as a whole – I not only knew what I was going to do, I knew exactly who I was going to do it with – all I had to do was put it all in motion and, of course, pick the right moment for my revenge.

The woman I picked to help me exact my revenge was one who made no bones about the fact that if I wasn’t married, she’d fuck me nine ways to Sunday and all I had to do was go to her and say, “Hey, do you remember telling me that if you had the chance, you’d fuck me?”

She said, “Yeah… and I meant that shit, too!”

I said, “Well, here’s your chance!”

She was out of her clothes so fast that I was kinda surprised she didn’t hurt herself in the process and once I got undressed, it was on.  In retrospect, it was weird; I knew what I was thinking but, at the same time, I don’t know what I was thinking about.  I was angry and I had even asked myself whether or not I was about to fuck this woman just because I was angry but, nope, there was some lust – okay, a lot of lust – for her as well and I knew – or I thought I knew – that because I wanted to fuck her and my lust for her was genuine, that took my being angry and set it aside… which, of course, it didn’t but I couldn’t see that at the time; my need for revenge was blinding me to a great many things, things that would be revealed in short order.

We went from kissing each other as if our lives depended on it to going down on each other and, yeah, I can easily admit that it was damned good, from the way her pussy tasted and the way she came so easily right down to the way she sucked my dick, sucking it like she wasn’t afraid of sucking dick, as evidenced by the way she made me explode in her mouth even though I had the presence of mind to warn her that I was gonna lose it.  Not only did she make me lose it, she didn’t stop sucking me until I was good and hard again.

But after I busted that first nut, there was something… ugly and sickly poking around in my mind; it was telling me that I just fucked up big time but, honestly, while I was aware of this, I wasn’t really paying too much attention to it because she was still sucking my dick and I was still eating the stuffing out that pussy.  She said, “Come on, put it in me, baby!” and I actually wrenched my back a little because of how fast I got into position to enter her and, whew, my dick slid into her like a hot knife through butter; she gasped, I gasped, and we were humping away at each other like it was illegal.

Which was when my mind said to me, “Well, it is illegal – what the fuck are you doing?  You know you shouldn’t be doing this!”  I started to get a really sick feeling in my stomach that was getting harder to ignore; I felt myself shift into some kind of auto-pilot; I was still banging the shit out of that pussy… but now in a very detached way because my conscience succeeded in getting my full attention and I can’t even begin to tell you what it was telling me except to say it kept pointing out how wrong I was and in every way it could imagine – and there were a lot of ways.  I don’t know if she even noticed that something was going on with me; she was too busy having a great deal of fun fucking back at me, cursing lustily with her legs locked tightly around me and her nails digging in to my back; I could feel her pussy contracting around me each time she came and, honestly, she pretty much deafened me with her very loud proclamations that she was cumming.  Between my second wind and the utterly horrible feeling swirling around in my head, I wasn’t even close to busting a nut in her – in fact, my conscience was suggesting strongly that I just stop and go no further but, ah, I don’t know, that just didn’t seem right, if that makes any sense – so I kept going until I finally creamed her… and it felt anything other than good.

I’m locked in place by her legs and arms; my cock is still twitching and shit even as it starts to shrink inside her; she’s telling me how much she enjoyed fucking me and other nice things… and the only thing I could think of was, “What the fuck did you just do?”  I felt so sick to my stomach it wasn’t funny; my conscience didn’t help matters any, either, taking the moment to remind me that, uh, you probably got this woman pregnant and then showing me all the fucked up shit that would cause.  I finally withdrew and we cleaned up and got dressed; I was listening to just how pumped up she was and the more she talked about how good the sex was, the sicker I felt because I was now fully aware of the fact that I just used this woman to do something that I shouldn’t have done in the first place and, yeah, there’s a reason why they say the following things:  Revenge is a dish best served cold and when you’re plotting revenge, first, dig two graves.

The guilt was hammering me like a Cat 5 hurricane; it was consuming me so hard that I wanted to throw up.  I couldn’t wait to leave her and head home and, honestly, I don’t know how I managed to tell her that I had one hell of a time with her and not sound fake in doing so; my mind was so fucked up that I even agreed to get with her again the next day for more of the same – and my conscience took that as another reason to kick my ass even harder.  I don’t think I got too far from her crib before I was bending over and throwing up all over the sidewalk; I even had a “funny” moment in thinking that anyone who saw me yakking all over the street (and myself) would think that I had had too much to drink.  I eventually got my shit together enough to make it home; thanks to my well-executed plan, I knew my wife wouldn’t be home so it was no biggie for me to get cleaned up and to start the load of clothes that were waiting to be washed.  But that also meant that I had time to think about what I’d done and if I had anything left to throw up, I would have done just that as my guilt beat me like the proverbial redheaded stepchild… until I asked myself, “What the fuck do I have to feel guilty over?”

The self-justification process kicked in and the simple – and very stupid – reply that came back was, “I wouldn’t have done this if she hadn’t done it first!  She betrayed me – she betrayed us and everything marriage stood for!  All I did was get even!”  Yep, for a guy as smart as I was, I was also pretty stupid, too – but it would be a few years in the future before I’d fully realize just how stupid that justification was.  Later that evening, when my wife got back home and the kids were put to bed, we made love (or fucked, take your pick) and I didn’t have that triumphant feeling I thought I’d have, you know that, “Hah!  You have no idea what I was doing while you were gone!” kind of thing.  Still, my revenge wasn’t complete because stage two of my exquisite plot was to tell her what I had done and why I had done it… but, first, I had to go get more of that pussy because I stupidly promised I’d come back and get some more of it.

And I did, too; truth be told, it was even better than it was the first time and more so when she wanted me to pull out of her pussy and finish in her ass.  And I was into the sex with her… but not really; I knew that the only reason why I was in bed with her was because I told her I’d be there… when I shouldn’t have said that, but my mind was totally out to lunch when I agreed to fuck her again… oh, man, what a mess this is turning out to be! After the second go-round, she finally got around to asking me what made me remind her that she wanted to fuck me – and I told her why; I actually thought she’d get pissed off with me to learn that she was a tool for my revenge… but she wasn’t pissed – in fact, she was damned sympathetic and even said, “Man, that’s so fucked up – but I ain’t complaining ’cause I finally got to fuck you!” – then gave me a rather nice blow job to take home with me.

My conscience was fucking with me… but not as badly as it had the day before; it was time to put Phase 2 into action and tell my wife what I’d done and why I did it.  On the one hand, I just couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when I told her, to see the hurt and pain eating into her, just like it did to me; I couldn’t wait to blast her ass with my reasons for cheating and to let her know that it was her cheating that brought all of this about.  Oh, this was going to be so fucking sweet that I was practically bouncing off the walls with anticipation; she had hurt me and I was mere moments away from hurting her right back…

My telling her had the expected results; I had her in tears as soon as I told her that I had fucked “P,” and it was even sweeter since she knew “P;” oh, lawd, she was beyond furious and I was all kinds of rotten motherfuckers and, yep, I was actually enjoying her discomfiture and even said, as she was throwing shit all over the place, “Now you know how I felt, huh?”  But as I sat there watching her have the hissy fit to end all hissy fits, it wasn’t all that enjoyable any longer; I’d hurt her, to be sure, but I found that there was really no pleasure to be had and I started feeling rather lousy about it.  She finally wore herself out ranting and raving and, as she sat and cried, I found myself thinking about all the ways I could have – and should have – handled this without compounding the problem by doing what she did; I even asked myself why I didn’t think about these alternatives before I exacted my revenge?

When she looked at me and said, “I don’t know why I deserved to be treated like this!” I pretty much went totally ape-shit – but got a grip on myself quickly and answered her statement with, “What, did you really think you were going to do something like this and I wasn’t going to do something about it?  Would you have preferred that I did what other motherfuckers would have done and put your ass in the hospital?”

She didn’t have anything to say about that other than to say, “I’m sorry;” I said I was sorry, too, but kinda/sorta not really; I was now fully aware that I shouldn’t have done what she did but you know how it is:  Once you do something, you cannot undo it… and the pussy was good despite the circumstances that allowed me to get it.  My wife asked me if I was going to keep fucking “P” and I said, “That depends on you; if you’re gonna keep giving it up to other dudes, then I don’t see where you leave me much choice in the matter unless you wanna get divorced…”

Well, she didn’t want that to happen and, truth be told, neither did I.  A very uncomfortable silence descended upon us as we both thought about all of this; I knew I was thinking a whole lot of shit and, in that moment, I wasn’t sure what she was thinking so I was surprised when she finally said, “Let’s go to bed…” and, as you might expect, we had some hellified sex and, man, it was so weird because as we went at each other like it was our first time together, we were both talking about how good and/or bad the other people we had fucked were.  I remember lying in bed afterward, totally and completely sated and watching my wife snoring away and thinking why shit had to get to this point; I thought about all the things that could have – and somehow should have – taken place so that (1) she wouldn’t have felt the need (or been so gullible, by her own admission) to cheat on me and (2) I wouldn’t have had that knee-jerk reaction to respond in kind.  I lay awake with the sure knowledge that I did not want to go through this again… but also with the knowledge that, yeah, I had fun fucking “P”… but I shouldn’t have had fun; I shouldn’t have further broken the rules just because she did.  I wound up staying awake all night because thinking about this whole thing gave me such a headache that nothing I wound up taking could touch.

The next couple of days were business as usual… but not really; there was a tension between us that hadn’t gotten any better… but it hadn’t gotten any worse; I knew that something had to be said about it so that I/we would know what our next steps would be or if we were going to last long enough to have any next steps.  We finally started talking about it again and it became clear to me after a few more days of talking that the next time someone came along and enticed her out of her panties, she wasn’t going to tell them no for very long and I told her this, too, because it was the truth as I was beginning to understand it and even when she said that it wouldn’t happen again, I could hear in her voice that she wasn’t very confident.  The situation had a devastating effect on us – not even any doubts about that – but instead of building a wall between us, it opened the door for other illicit pleasures and instead of us looking at it as rule breaking, it was more like we were in the beginning stages of making our own rules.

Today, I look back in-depth at that moment and wonder about my behavior (more than hers); I can recall the sheer rage and fury I felt to have my suspicions confirmed and the evil laughter taking place in my mind as I plotted my revenge.  In a way, I’m kinda ashamed of myself because I didn’t once stop to think about whether or not my revenge could make a bad situation worse, that I thought – and like a lot of people in this situation might think – that an eye for an eye was the best way to handle the situation.  I could and should have been smarter but that doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t and, given how things turned out later, maybe it was a good thing that I wasn’t as smart as I should and could have been although I knew that violence wasn’t the answer, that’s for damned sure.  I used to sit and wonder how things might have been different had I not reacted the way I did… but I gave up trying to work it out because the stark reality had already set in and there was no sense is trying to believe that things would have turned out better – but knowing that they could have been a lot worse.

Sometimes, life really is a bitch and some of the lessons life teaches you can be rather harsh… but as you’ve seen me write hundreds of times, it’s not that you make mistakes – it’s what you do about it that, ultimately, will make all the difference in the world.  And things, it seems, always happen for a reason…

Gotta check on dinner now… see ya!

Posted by on 17 October 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

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2 responses to “The Affair

  1. Daz

    22 April 2015 at 10:44

    If you don’t mind answering, What were the reasons your wife gave for cheating with other men?

    • kdaddy23

      22 April 2015 at 12:03

      She thought she could find someone who would love her more and better than I did and she wanted sex from anyone who wasn’t me. Now, that last thing sounded weird to me but it wasn’t a complaint about the way I made love to her – she just wanted something different. AND because I learned she was bisexual about the same time, she wanted to include female lovers in that “not you” category.

      What she learned – and, often, the hard way – that no one was gonna love her like I did and no other guy was going to fuck her as well as I did; the girl thing made sense because she loved women and, well, I’m obviously not a woman.

      And we stayed married for 34 years despite her early affairs…

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Prepare For The Heavy Rains From 29th-3rd July If You Live In The Following Parts Of Country

Kenya Meteorological Department announces weather forecast for the next five days. According to report shared by the KMD not all places that will receive rains within the weather forecast period. However other places are likely to receive sunny intervals during this period. The social economic well-being of the country is very crucial to severe weather and extreme climate events. Kenya often experiences loss of lives and destruction of properties because of harsh weather conditions. This harsh weather conditions are floods, landslides, lightning and thunder storms and drought. All these once they occur they leave negative impacts to the community.

A large number of people living in villages within the country live below the poverty line, since rain-fed agriculture on which they rely for their livelihood has now become more and more sensitive to severe weather that is now prevalent. Skillful and timely weather forecasts can help the government and communities mitigate the negative impacts of severe weather events through proper planning.

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Despite the existence of wide knowledge on the hazards that causes disasters among the Kenyan communities, disasters have continued to cause destruction, sometimes, leading to loss of lives in many communities. Year after year, the frequency and severity of such disasters have continued to rise. Therefore the remedy to these problems is early warning weather forecasting. This is provided by the Kenya Meteorological Department through different social media platforms.

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Forest School Visitor!

We had a special visitor at Forest School today – Billy! He had great fun joining in with our activities.

In a recent assembly we learnt that the human eye can recognise over 10 million colours. As a result, we decided to find out how many colours we could find in the woodland and added them to our colour wheel. We also had fun practising our fire lighting skills and sketching wildlife pictures.