wtf are you talking about?
The more hundreds of hours tick on, the more pressure there is inside me to not feel like I wasted my time. My mind never thinks that I have done a good job, I cannot appease it. I used to code all day, until I felt something well up inside me so fierce that I was crawling out of my skin. Since then, I have been researching programming things all day for 700 days straight just to feel okay. I still feel a strong imposter syndrome come on every time i read someone talk about something I don't know. When that happens, I usually just isolate myself for days. Part of the turmoil of the time wasted thing is: am I going about this the right way? why did I spend so much time doing X instead of Y and more.