Personally, I don't see any point of the first paragraph as it seems quite redundant and considering its only an 8 marker there is no point of an "introduction" so you might as well go straight into the language analysis. Secondly, rather that considering the "effects on the reader", which according to some examiners is quite a pointless comment, focus more towards the writers intention, because sayings stuff like "this makes the readers want to further explore the text" adds nothing to your marks. Rather, try and explore the deeper meanings of the methods, quotes that you are analysing, using words like **perhaps, alternatively, **to show that you are being tentative and truly thinking about the writers intention, whilst also considering alternative interpretations. For example you can further expand your ideas surrounding an "overgrown mess", considering how the garden is perhaps **personified** into a somewhat intimidating, ruthless force rather than just stating how this might make the reader feel.
thank you so much!