First sentence is crazy. But as your friend who loves you and cares for you. You gotta be real with yourself soon enough or else things will come crashing at you and it just bites you back again. But like I said, just be gentle and patient with yourself. You dont gotta do everything all at once. Take it one step at a time.
Well still as I will say I don't think it will change even with me doing my own thing. I'm gonna be honest maybe it's just my choice In women. I have dated nothing but druggies and some basically just as emotionless as me people. Idk if it's gonna take someone specific but it seems all I can get are those two types.